#john frusciante the new dimension

[danielsiegelalonso]

Mental Health in the Music Industry: Coping Strategies and Well-Being | Daniel Siegel Alonso

To outsiders, the music industry is usually viewed as a glamorous world of fame, fortune, and creativity. However, lurking underneath the surface, the industry is also a field fraught with mental health challenges. From the history of addiction to the pressures of fame, artists have long wrestled with maintaining their mental well-being. Daniel Siegel Alonso looks at how many artists have found effective coping strategies, turning to therapy, mindfulness practices, and using music itself as a healing outlet.

The Dark History of Addiction in Music

Siegel Alonso notes that the history of addiction in the music industry is well-documented. The strain of constant touring, public scrutiny, and the never-ending pursuit of success have driven many artists to find relief in substances. Iconic musicians like Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, and Jim Morrison are stark reminders of how addiction can destroy lives.

Guitarist John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers is a notable example of someone who battled severe addiction. At the height of his career, Frusciante fell deeply into heroin addiction, which led him to leave the band in 1992. His addiction nearly cost him his life, but after a long and painful struggle, he managed to turn his life around. Frusciante’s journey to recovery involved intensive therapy and a recommitment to his music, ultimately rejoining the band and contributing to some of the group's most celebrated albums.

Seeking Help

One of the most crucial steps in addressing mental health issues is seeking professional help. Therapy provides a safe space for creative individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with a trained professional. Therapy can be a lifeline for musicians, who often face unique pressures.

Frusciante’s recovery underscores the importance of professional help. He didn’t just quit drugs cold turkey; he underwent a comprehensive treatment plan that included therapy and support from friends and family. His story is a testament to the power of seeking help and the possibility of recovery, even after hitting rock bottom.

Music as an Outlet

For many musicians, creating music is more than just a career; it’s a vital outlet for expression and coping. Writing, performing, and listening to music can be powerful therapeutic tools. Music allows artists to channel their emotions into something constructive and beautiful, providing a release from their struggles.

Daniel Siegel Alonso takes The Beatles' George Harrison as an example. Harrison turned to Transcendental Meditation (TM) as a means of coping with the pressures of superstardom and personal turmoil. Introduced to TM in the 1960s, Harrison found solace and clarity through the practice, which influenced both his songwriting and his personal life. The song “Within You Without You” reflects his spiritual journey and the peace he found through TM. The recording marked a significant departure from the Beatles' previous work; musically, it evokes the Indian devotional tradition, while the overtly spiritual quality of the lyrics reflects Harrison's absorption in Hindu philosophy.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation have become increasingly popular among musicians seeking to maintain their mental health. These practices help individuals stay grounded, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being. George Harrison’s embrace of TM is a prime example of how mindfulness can transform a creative person's life.

Harrison’s dedication to TM didn’t just help him personally; it also profoundly impacted his music. His incorporation of Indian instruments and philosophical themes into his songs brought a new dimension to The Beatles’ music and left an enduring legacy in the music world. By finding a healthy outlet in meditation, Harrison could navigate the challenges of fame and continue creating impactful music.

The Power of Community

Siegel Alonso notes that another vital aspect of mental health is the strength of community. Like all individuals, musicians need a support system. Whether it’s fellow bandmates, family, friends, or mental health professionals, having people to lean on can make a significant difference.

John Frusciante’s return to the Red Hot Chili Peppers is a testament to the importance of community. His bandmates supported him through his recovery, and their familial bond played a vital role in his comeback. The collaborative nature of music itself fosters a sense of belonging and mutual support, which is critical for mental health.

Moving Forward

The music industry has made strides in recent years to address mental health more openly. Initiatives like MusiCares provide resources and support for musicians dealing with mental health issues. However, there is still much work to be done. Shattering the stigma around mental health and fostering open conversations are key steps toward a healthier industry.

Musicians like John Frusciante and George Harrison show us that recovery and well-being are possible, even though the journey may be challenging. By seeking help, embracing mindfulness, and finding healthy outlets for expression, musicians can navigate their challenges and continue to inspire us with their art.

In conclusion, mental health in the music industry is a complex issue. Still, with the right coping strategies and support systems, Daniel Siegel Alonso posits that it is achievable to overcome the challenges. As fans and listeners, we can also play a role by supporting initiatives promoting mental health and recognizing the humanity behind the music we cherish. After all, the well-being of the artists who create the soundtrack of our lives is just as important as the music itself.

[lyrasky]

【John Frusciante / Central】和訳 俺の未来は君達の未来 解説 My Future's Your Future

【John Frusciante / Central】和訳 俺の未来は君達の未来 解説 My Future's Your Future LyraのBlogへ #johnfrusciante #central #empyrean #redhotchilipeppers #ジョンフルシアンテ #レッドホットチリペッパーズ #rhcp #funkadelic #timbuckley #flea #joshklinghoffer #johnnymarr #TheNewGuitarGods #SonusQuartet #theNewDimensionSingers

Happy Birthday John frusciante! I’ve loved you & your guitar sounds for a long time. I feel your tastes’re my important thing for my life,’coz I’ve been growhng up with your music. I’ll keep enjoying your music forever. please take care of yourself and keep on rock’n’roll! 毎年恒例、John Frusciante のバースデイが来たので、今年も彼の曲を和訳して「めでてぇ〜！」と愛でながらお祝いしましょう！ Johnと言ったらやはり Red Hot Chili Peppers…

[frusciantehoe]

Running away into you

John had become extremely distant towards you ever since the chilis had skyrocketed to the top of the charts with their new album. At first everyone thought it was just a temporary thing, I mean, he was only 21, a year older than you. If you were in the same position you wouldn’t know what to do, how to act and talk. It was a complete change in lifestyle.

Fans would come up to him in the street, which was nice at first, until it wasn’t. Other women would flock around the band after the shows and put their hands all over John. You trusted him of course, but sometimes you could see how he relished the attention, and it made you so insecure. All those other women were beautiful, with their clothes and their hair and makeup. John could have easily picked one and left you backstage by yourself.

Slowly he pulled away from you. He would come to bed in the middle of the night, either after being at the studio or some random bar that wouldn’t kick him out until he couldn’t stand. He would lock himself in the his small practice space for hours, and then he would only come out to eat the food that you lovingly made for him. But he wouldn’t say a word, he wouldn’t even look at you.

He hadn’t touched you in weeks, he didn’t hold your hand anymore so you wouldn’t get lost in the chaos of all the fans. You either got left behind or Flea would let you hold his hand.

You were so confused, why was he leaving you behind? You understood wanting to be left alone, but Jesus he didn’t need to be such a dick to you. All you showed him was love and affection, you cleaned up around his practice room, emptying the ashtrays and putting the dirty dishes in the sink. You cleaned his fucking laundry. You made sure he still ate and drank. And what did he do? He treated you like shit.

You still loved him though, you were waiting for him to come back to you, for him to hold your hand, cuddle you in bed, write songs for you and fuck you into the 4th dimension.

The peppers had a gig tonight, apparently a very important one. They all seemed buzzed about it (except for John), talking about it to you whenever you were in the studio.

You were so proud of them all, you and John started dating a month or so after he had joined the band, but you were already so entwined with everyone, it was like you had released a hit album with them. Anthony would sometimes call you the fifth pepper, and you even did backup vocals on under the bridge with Johns mom. To see them grow from a somewhat underground band, to a global icon was heartwarming, but you wished John was happier.

You wandered through the halls, looking for Johns dressing room, he wanted his own for some reason, away from all the others.

Eventually you stumbled upon a door, the words ‘Frusciante, John’ plastered on a pink glittery star. He was ‘a rockstar’ after all.

You knocked on the door before opening it a bit, peeking your head in to see John on the couch, crying.

“Johnny? What’s wrong? Are you okay, sweetie?”, you spoke, voice laced with worry as you rushed inside and shut the door before going to him. John instantly buried his face in between your breasts and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Just.. just missed you, need you, baby.”

His voice was a little bit slurred, that’s when you saw the opened bottle of wine beside him. He was drinking and smoking so much pot lately, it scared you, what if he moved onto something stronger?

“I’m here now, it’s okay, johnny.”, you stroked his hair and kissed his head. Even though he was upset, you still felt so good that he was touching you, after weeks on end, his hands were touching your body again.

John slid his hands down to your ass, squeezing it through the silk of your dress and pulling you closer to him. His lips found your neck and he pressed kisses across your skin. They became more aggressive, until you were moaning his name and tugging on his hair.

Slowly he unzipped the back of your dress and pulled the sleeves down your arms. Your dress pooled at your ankles and you stepped out of it, slipping off your shoes in the process.

Next he moved onto your bra. He kissed the top of your tits before undoing the clasp at the back with his fingers and tossing it to the side.

He didn’t say a word to you, and you couldn’t think of anything to say to him. His eyes were glazed as he pulled you into his lap and started kissing your neck again.

You couldn’t feel him, he wasn’t there anymore, just a hollow shell. Tears filled the corners of your eyes but you quickly wiped them away. “At least he’s touching you.”, you repeated in your head.

You just wanted your boyfriend back. You wanted your best friend back, you couldn’t recognise the man whose lap you were currently sitting on. It all felt so wrong and devoid of emotion.

You thought back to the gig at pinkpop and how different John was now. When he fucked you in the dressing room, and how he took care of you after. It made you want to sob and mourn for him, even though he was still alive. You wished he was angry at the world instead of running away from it, and you. At least he would feel something.

His eyes locked on yours as he slid his hand into your panties. You were soaking, of course. His fingers teased around your cunt before moving up to your clit, rubbing slow circles into it.

“Always soaked for me, like a good girl.”, he whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. He sank two fingers knuckle deep inside your cunt and held your hips in place as you tried to buck them.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you tried to kiss him, but he leaned down to suck on your nipple instead. You felt your eyes sting, all you wanted was a kiss.

He sucked and licked your nipple as he moved his fingers inside you, crooking them up into your sweet spot, causing a particularly loud moan to escape your lips.

“Yeah? You like that? Fucking whore..”, John whispered against your skin, moving his fingers in a rougher manner.

Tears rolled down your cheeks once he called you that. You didn’t mind being called stuff like that by him, but it felt like he meant it. Like he really saw you as some whore he could fuck whenever he wanted. Maybe it was your fault for sticking by his side.

His fingers found your sweet spot one more time before you came, thighs trembling and mouth hanging open so he could hear all your moans for him. John slowly took out his fingers and wiped them on his pants, grumbling to himself about how he would have to clean them. Even though you did all the laundry.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks and looked down at his hands as he unbuckled his belt and took his cock out. He didn’t move after and you looked at him, confused.

“What? You think im gonna do all the work?”, he spat, taking your hand and placing it on his cock. You pumped it slowly and gently while his hips bucked in a completely different way. You were complete opposite.

He pushed your hand away once his cock was oozing beads of precum and lifted you up, his tip pressing against the velvety folds of your cunt. Slowly you sank down onto him, tears filling your eyes as his cock stretched you painfully.

John started thrusting his hips in an aggressive manner once you were used to his cock. Your hands clung to his back and sobs escaped your lips, both from the pleasure and the sadness you were feeling.

You didn’t understand why he could treat you like this. Only a few months ago you found an engagement ring hidden in one of his guitar cases. You felt your heart swell at the thought of marrying John, at starting a family with him. Your family.

And now he was fucking into you, eyes glued to your soft tits bouncing with the movement of his hips, while he called you slut, whore and you even swore he called you a bitch too. What happened to your sweet boy? The man who loved and cared for you more than his own music.

“You’re mine, all mine, I can do whatever I want with you.”, he moaned out, hands gripping the flesh of your hips as he moved his cock in and out of you, watching as your slick flowed down it.

You nodded quickly and braced yourself on his shoulders, tears spilling down your cheeks again. You were so, so close.

“Fuck, your cunt is so tight..”, John moved his hips faster, placing a sharp slap on your right ass cheek. “You gonna cum for me? Gonna cum like a good girl?”

“Yes! Oh my god, yes!”, you cried out, cumming hard all over his cock. Your body trembled and you gripped onto him weakly.

John groaned and moved his hips even faster. He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and grunted as he filled up your cunt with his cum, holding you down and making you take it all.

Once he caught his breath again, John lifted you up off him and you fell onto other side of the couch. He got up and cleaned off his cock before pulling his pants back on.

You felts tears fill your eyes again. He hadn’t even looked at you, never mind kiss you.

“Are you going now?”, you practically whispered, voice trembling with emotion.

He glanced at you and buckled up his belt. “Obviously, I can’t be late for my gig.”

“But, won’t you stay with me for a little bit? The gig doesn’t start for another half hour.”, your lower lip trembled and you looked at him, eyes begging him to stay.

He sighed and came over to you, putting a quick, emotionless kiss on your cheek before pulling away. “Happy now? I gotta go hang out with my friends”

You watched as he walked out of the dressing room, leaving you alone with his cum dripping down the insides of your thighs. You still loved him though.

“At least he touched me.”, you whispered to yourself

[larissaligus]

"It’s obvious that John is a shaman. That’s exactly what he is. There is a lot of that in the way he plays the guitar. I’ll tell you something: when he came to the studio to record the new songs with us, John would remain in front of the others, silent and without a guitar, to sense what was about to come. He would move his hands in the air to receive the energy. Then, five minutes before we begun recording the songs, almost without rehearsing, John would pick up his instrument and learn the solo, following a personal ritual. I don’t think that anyone else can do something like that. To me, such a thing is a shamanistic quality. There’s no one like him. When he plays, you can’t stop watching him, he hypnotizes you. He’s incredible. He opens his mouth as if he’s screaming, he closes his eyes and… it’s like he’s doing magic. I imagine those south american shamans during a trance, you know. Connecting to another dimension with nothing else but a guitar. I feel lucky to be where I am and to live this kind of experiences. Magic and music, all together. Few things could be better in this life."

Cedric Bixler-Zavala talking about John Frusciante (via beach-arab)

[tulaladd]

世界最遅tulaladd2020best DL list

年間ベストを始めて以来、初の事態。

なんと9か月遅れのポスト。あと3か月で次の年ベスの発表時期じゃないですか…唯一にして最大の理由が、もちろんあるにはある。

暗夜行路のような唄声が車内から眺め���某庁舎前の雪景色と甘酸っぱい感情を喚起させるRY Xや、このリストには登場しない自分用に作ったプレイリスト（日本語ラップ編、シティーポップ編）をひとりで何度も諳んじては胸を焦がした。それらの音楽が本来持つ資質にプラスして思い出補正でランクインした作品がいくつかある（最たるものがサントラ部門かな）。そんな変化があった2020年でした。

それを除けば、音楽ライフは基本的に前年を踏襲。つまり引き続きapple music依存型で、DIG活動もほほ休止（荷物の山に埋もれたタンテをセッティングし直せるまともな精神状態じゃなかった…）。落第生の体たらくをここ何年も続けてるわけです。とはいえ昨年と比べれば、リスト入り作品の数が格段に増えた＝それなりに楽しい音楽生活が営めていたのも事実。その充実を支えたものがアルゴリズムって点がものすごく納得はいかないけれど。（毎年書いてるけど、手当たり次第サブスクを横断する中で「もう一度聴きたい」と思えたものが以下のDLリスト。感覚的には昨年より緩い5枚に1枚。それでも昨年比3倍の約250枚！）

いつまで延命できるか分からないローカルラジオを継続できたのもラッキーだった。相変わらずみんなとあーだこーだ言いながらいろんな曲を聴く時間が音楽ライフを豊かにしてくれました。感謝。過去最高に音楽への熱が薄いテキストになっちゃうけど、9か月遅れだと致し方なしか。

三ツ星評価のうち、エル・ミシェルズ・アフェアのシングルはラジオの一戸くんレコメン、今年も熱量が持続しているサウスロンドン・ジャズ・シーンのマンスール・ブラウンEPはおなじみWOZNIAK星くんのオススメ、ほかにも人から教わってお気に入りになった作品が少なくないのは、サブスクじゃ届かないリアルの強みが感じられて、そこだけは希望があるのかな。

特筆するとすれば、Bartosz KruczynskiのEARTH TRAX以来追い続けてきたリズムセクション・インターナショナルが、旬のサウスロンドン・シーンと地下ハウス/テクノ・シーンのメルティング・ポットだったことが分かって興味が再燃させられた個人的な事件。そのセンセーションのグラウンド・ゼロにあたるTHE COLOURS THAT RISEの発見が今年No.1の成果かな。

唯一職場で音楽談義ができるために相互レコメンに特化したLINEを展開中のT氏に教えられたエディ・チャコンのアルバム、そのエディの復活劇を手掛け、若林恵さん経由でずっぽりハマったソランジュ『A Seat At The Table』の禅的ミニマリズのデザイナーでもあることが事後に発覚したジョン・キャロル・カービーの2人は、今年ならではの幸福な時間の中で何度も繰り返し聴いた一生の思い出確定盤。ジョンなんか3カテゴリーに分かれてのランクインだもんな。　

さて2021年。あと3か月しかない。今年はやる？やらない？いろいろ越えるべきものが多くすぎてそれ以前の問題かもしれないなけど。

【TECHNO / HOUSE / (NU)DISCO / ELECTRONICS】 ★★★THE COLOURS THAT RISE / Grey Doubt ★★THE COLOURS THAT RISE / 2020 EP（2017） ★★THEO PARRISH / Wuddaji ★★Machinedrum / A View of U ★Kuniyuki Takahashi / Flying Music EP ★Oneohtrix Point Never / Magic Oneohtrix Point Never ★VLADISLAV DELAY / Rakka ★LUKE SLATER / berghain fünfzehn ★Jayda G / Both of Us / Are U Down EP ★TSHA / Flowers EP ★DISCLOSURE / Energy ★DARKSTAR / Civic Jams ★Chari Chari / We Hear the Last Decades Dreaming ★HUNEE / Boiler Room : an hour with HUNEE（DJ Mix） ★Autechre / SIGN Arca / @@@@@ BURIAL / Chemz FOUR TET / Sixteen Oceans JAMES BLAKE / Before EP GLOBAL COMMUNICATION / Transmissions Sampler JOHN FRUSCIANTE / Maya TRICKFINGER / She Smiles Because She Presses the Button EP TRICKFINGER / Look Down, See Us EP 60 Miles / Swamp 2 Sea EP EARTH TRAX / LP1 EARTH TRAX / LP2 BIG YAWN / No! HIATT dB / Palimpsest EP GL / You Read My Mind DJ SOFA / Elsewhere Junior I - a Collection of Cosmic Children’s Song Mr President / One Night feat.Celia Kameni & Cindy Pooch J.A.K.A.M. / ASTRAL DUB WORX Inner Science / Made パソコン音楽クラブ / Ambience EP LOCUSSOLUS / Locussolus（Expanded） Various Artists / South DAN KYE / Small Moments OFF THE MEDS / Off The Meds BASSO / Proper Sunburn - Forgotten Sunscreen Applied By Basso（2019） Copenema / Dexia a Musica Tocar（2019） Seahawks / Eyes of the Moon（2019） Jayda G / Significant Changes（2019） MMM / Que Barbaro（2013）

【HIPHOP / R&B / BEATS / FUNK】 ★★★EDDIE CHACON / Outside（Laraaji Remix） ★★EDDIE CHACON / Pleasure, Joy and Happiness ★★Lil Narnia / Pain Extract ★★VHOOR / Baile & Sauce ★AG CLUB / Halfway Off the Porch ★MAC MILLER / Circles ★THUNDRCAT / It Is What It Is ★WILMA ARCHER / A Western Circular ★OXP, ONRA & POMRAD / Swing Convention ★DJ KRUSH / TRICKSTER ★BENEDEK / Bene’s World（2017） JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / High feat.Eddie Chacon & Nailah Hunter THE WEEKND / After Hours DRAKE / Dark Lane Demo Tapes POP SMOKE / Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon IVAN AVE / DOUBLE GOODBYES MOSES SUMNEY / græ PETER COTTON TALE / CATCH NNAMDI / BRAT Yves Tumor / Heaven Ta a Toutured Mind Teebs / Ardour（10th Anniversary Edition） Wajatta / Don’t Let Get You Down Lapalux / Esrevoinma EP Kutmah / New Appliance THE HELIOCENTRICS / Telemetric Sounds VULFPECK / The Joy of Music, The Job of   Real Estate JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Lazzara（2019） Various Artists / Kutmah presents : Sketchbook Radio Archives, Vol.1（2018） Invisibl Skratch Piklz / The 13th Foor（2016） D-STYLES / Phantazagorea（2002）

【JAZZ（the New Chapter） / WORLD】 ★★★MANSUR BROWN / Tesuto ★★★JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / My Garden ★★KAMASI WASHINGTON / Harmony of Difference EP（2017） ★JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Love Theme ★MANSUR BROWN / Shiroi ★JEFF PARKER / Suite for Max Brown ★CHICAGO UNDERGROUND QUARTET / Good Days ★TOM MISCH & YUSSEF DAYES / What Kinda Music ★KAMAAL WILLIAMS / Wu Hen ★ROB MAZUREK & EXPLODING STAR ORCHESTRA / Dimentional Stardust: ★ORLANDO LE FLEMING / Romantic Funk : The Unfamiliar ★SAM WILKES / WILKES（2019） ★YUSSEF KAMAAL / Black Focus（2016） ★ZSOFIA BOROS / Local Objects（2016） JYOTI & GEORGIA ANNE MULDROW / Mama, You Can Bet! BUTCHER BROWN / #KingButch BRAXTON COOK / Fire Sign PAT METHENY / From This Place Fabiano do Nascimento / Preludio SAM GENDEL / Satin Doll SAM GENDEL / Pass If Music（2018） SAM WILKES / Live on the Green（2019） BRANDON COLEMAN / Resistance（2018） KIEFER / Superbloom（2019） 鈴木良雄 / モーニング・ピクチャー（1984） 鈴木良雄 / ウイングス（1987） JOHN EBERSON, BJ0RNAR ANDRESEN, PAAL NILSSEN-LOVE / Mind the Gap（2001）

【（INDIE）ROCK / （INDIE） POP / SSW】 ★★★EL MICHELS AFFAIR / Reasons feat.Bobby Oroza ★★EL MICHELS AFFAIR / Adult Themes ★★THE FLAMING LIPS / American Head ★★SUFJAN STEVENS / The Ascension ★★FLEET FOXES / Shore ★★COLDPLAY / Everyday Life（2019） ★★RY X / Unfurl（2019） ★★THE WAR ON DRUGS / Lost in the Dream（2014） ★PHOEBE BRIDGERS / Copycat Killer feat. ROB MOOSE - EP ★Mk.gee / A Museum of Contradiction ★PEEL DREAM MAGAZINE / Agitprop Alterna ★BLAKE MILLS / Mutable Set ★THE STROKES / The New Abnormal ★CHS / Jungle Sauna（2019） ★KINDNESS / Something Like A War（2019） ★〝Blue〟Gene Tyranny & Peter Gordon / Trust In Rock（2019） ★STATE RIVER WIDENING / Early Music（2003） BIBIO / Sleep On The Wing Jonsi / Shiver JEFF TWEEDY / Love Is The King REAL ESTATE / The Main Thing ANIMAL COLLECTIVE / Bridge to Quite LITTLE DRAGON / New Me . Same us JAGA JAZZIST / Pyramid TAME IMPAlA  / The Slow Rush TRAVIS / 10 Songs SORRY / 925 JOSEPH OF MERCURY / WAVE Ⅱ Khruangbin / Mordechai Various Artists / Hiding From the Landlord HOWLING / Colure DEVENDRA BANHART / Ma（2019） LANA DEL REY / Norman Fucking Rockwell（2019） DAVE GROHL / Play（2018） CRITERIA / En Garde（2003）

【PUNK / HEAVEY / EXTREAM】 ★★envy / The Fallen Crimson ★★lang / There is no reply, but sweet wind blew（2018） ★envy / LAST WISH（Live at Liquidroom Tokyo） ★SLIFT / UMMON ★HORSE LORDS / The Common Task ★coriky / coriky ★Sans Visage, Look at moment / Split Single ★Sans Visage / moments（2017） ★LIGHTNING BOIL / Sonic Citadel（2019） ★Harvey Milk / Courtesy and Good Will Toward Men（2006） DEFTONES / Ohms Converge / Endless Arrow JESU / Terminus JESU / Never JESU / Ascension（Delux） KRUELTY / A Dying Truth XIBALBA / Anos En Infierno Various Artists / Speedy Wunderground Year 4（2019） RUSSIAN CIRCLE / Russian Circle Audiotree Far Out（2019） EARTH / Live at Third Man Records（2017） THE ARMED / Only Love（2018） THE ARMED / Untitled（2015）

【AMBIENT / NEW AGE / DRONE / MINIMAL MUSIC / EXPERIMENTAL】 ★★JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Conflict ★★Dukes of Chutney / Hazel  ★HEATHERED PEARLS / Cast ★SAM PREKOP / Comma BING & RUTH / Species FRANKIE REYES / Originalitos IAN WILLIAM CRAIG / Red Sun Through Smoke WINDY & CARL / Allegiance and Conviction JONNY NASH & SUZANNE KRAFT / A Heart So White JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Tuscany（2019） JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Meditation In Music（2018） JOHN CARROLL KIRBY / Travel（2017） ALEXANDER RISHAUG / Shadow of Events（2011） 【CLASSIC / OST】 ★LUDWIG GORANSSON / Tenet OST ★JOHN WILLIAMS / Double Trouble ※from OST of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban（2004） DUSTIN O'HALLORAN / Ammonite OST KAMASI WASHINGTON / Becoming（Music from the Netflix Original Documentary） DUSTIN O'HALLORAN / Lumiere（2011） BETH GIBBONS, The Polish National Radio Symphony Orchestra & Krzysztof Penderecki / Henryk Gorecki: Symphony No.3（2019） ANTONI WIT, Polish National Radio Symphony Orchestra(Katowice) & Polish Choir of Krakow / Henryk Gorecki: Symphony No.2（2001） ZSOFIA BOROS / Local Objects（2016） 【DOMESTIC��without HIPHOP）】 ★★★METAFIVE / 環境と心理 ★★GEZAN / 狂（KLUE） ★★downy / 第七作品集「無題」 ★★岡村靖幸 / 操 ★★崎山蒼志 / ソフト　※FEVER LIVE ver. on YouTube ★★SILENT POETS / dawn（2018） ★WOZNIAK / Vegetable Home Run ★Ai Aso / The Faintest Hint ★jan and naomi / YES ★mei ehara / Ampersands ★ディーン・フジオカ / Neo Dimension ★LUNA SEA / Make a vow ★坂本慎太郎 / 好きっていう気持ち / おぼろげナイトクラブ ★Cuushe / Waken ★sassya- / 脊髄（2019） ★小袋成彬 / Piercing（2019） ★She Her Her Hers / stereochrome（2014） WOZNIAK / Lost WOZNIAK / Double Face mouse on the keys / Arche 5kai / Untitled #2 KAN SANO / Susanna Ovall / Ovall（2019） mabanua / Blurred（2018） D.A.N. / Aechma ふさえ / そのまま 相馬智行 & 鳴海徹朗 / 春の闇 jan and naomi / Neutrino 王舟 / Pulchra Ondo 春ねむり / LOVETHEISM 井出健介と母船 / Contact From Exne Kedy And The Poltergeists（エクスネ・ケディと騒がしい幽霊からのコンタクト） 吉田一郎不可触世界 / えぴせし 岡田拓郎 / Morning Sun blgtz / Feature EP Coff / Tiny Music（2019） 【DOMESTIC（HIPHOP）】 ★★DJ CHARI & DJ TATSUKI / GOLDEN ROUTE ★★Weny Dacillo / Hapitable Hotel ★Hideyoshi / Dead End Adventure ★GG UJIHARA / WEAKNESS EP（2018） ★DJ CHARI & DJ TATSUKI / Time feat.Yo-Sea & KEIJU（2019） ★GG UJIHARA / WEAKNESS EP（2018） KOHH / worst KEIJU / T.A.T.O. Sauce81 / S8100 MARTER / Weltraumasthetik 2020 Normcore Boyz / MEDIAGE なみちえ / 毎日来日 徳利 / REVOLUTION starscream & Page Hiiragi / Ghost(s) DJ CHARI / GAME（2019） YOUNG HASTLE & GG UJIHARA / YOUNG UJIHARA EP（2019） Weny Dacillo / AMPM EP（2017）

[danielemarigold]

@whitedeadflower tagged me. Thanks, dear! ;)

Name/nickname: Dani

Gender: female

Star sign: virgo

Height: 164 cm

Time: 18:55

Birthday: August 30

Favourite bands/groups: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pearl Jam...

Favourite solo artists: John Frusciante, Jack White, Liam Gallagher, Paul McCartney, David Bowie...

Song stuck in my head: Torn by Natalie Imbruglia lol

Last movie: Karate Kid III

Last show: Modern Family

When did I create this blog: 2010

What do I post: Music, movies, tv shows, memes...

Last thing I googled: The Byrds Fifth Dimension

Other blogs: ...

Do I get asks: nope

Following: 381

Followers: 1,288

Average hours of sleep: 7

Lucky number: xx

Instruments: I can’t play anything :/

What I am wearing: Overalls + striped t shirt

Dream job: Editor in a magazine / social media consultant  

Dream trip: New Zealand, Seattle, Ireland, Egypt, Amsterdam...

Favourite food: pizza, pasta, french fries, chocolate, milkshake...

Nationality: Brazilian

Favourite song: Scar Tissue by RHCP

Last book I read: A casa dos budas ditosos by João Ubaldo Ribeiro

Three fictional universe you'd like to live in: 

- Harry Potter’s Hogwarts

- Seattle in the 90′s (as in the movie Singles)

- Friends’ NYC

I’ll tag @spreadthecurse @roadwhores @cantrells

[affairesasuivre]

This Mortal Coil : Song To The Siren

Parfois, il arrive que la reprise se hisse un cran au dessus de l’original. C’est assez rare, c’est arrivé en 1984 lorsque This Mortal Coil reprend sur l’album « It’ll End In Tears » la chanson de Tim Buckley paru en 1970 « Song To The siren ».

Tim Buckley, père de Jeff Buckley était un chanteur à la voix couvrant cinq octaves et dont la courte carrière musicale est encore de nos jours adulée et redécouverte par les plus jeunes.

This Mortal Coil est un supergroupe inventé par le fondateur du label new-wave 4AD Ivo Watts-Russell. Supergroupe car la plupart des groupes issus de 4AD y font une incursion sur l’un des trois albums parus (Cocteau Twins, Dead Can Dance, The Wolfgang Press, The Throwing Muses, Colourbox, Shelleyan Orphan, The Pixies entre autres…). La chanson déjà poignante dans l’interprétation de Tim Buckley prend une dimension supplémentaire avec la voix particulière d’Elisabeth Fraser, qui hasard ou pas fut un temps la petite amie de Tim Buckley… Cette chanson a été reprise un grand nombre de fois (Paula Arundell, Robert Plant, Susheela Raman, John Frusciante, George Michael) mais la version de This Mortal Coil est pour l’instant restée inégalée. Pour la petite histoire, David Lynch souhaitait l’inclure dans la B.O. de Blue Velvet mais pour une histoire de droits et d’argent, ce ne fut pas possible, il se rattrapera quelques année plus tard puisque le morceau figure dans la B.O de Lost Highway.

[frunatic-fanfic]

the end of a dream ?

Hell yes, A NEW CHAPTER FINALLY

To everyone who is still reading , thank you so much ! I know it has been a while but I’ll update more frequently now. There’s no John in this chapter but he’ll be back soon, I promise <3 Enjoy and leave some feedback to keep me motivated :)

„ No it’s fine really. I dont need to talk right now or anything. I just want to take a shower and sleep and forgett about everything for a while“ While you speak these words your best friend Rony looks at you with a worried expression on her face , knowing that the Jolene shes been a friend to for over 12 years is again just trying to run away and surpress her sadness and anger just to hurt herself once again even more.

After a last minute flight from west to east coast and feeling trapped inside a plane packed with just all of the very few things you owned, you made it to New York City and got picked up at the airport by your best friend Rony who moved to new York to start a carreer as a designer here.

„ Jolene… what the hell hapened? Just talk to me for a minute. I mean… YOu called me this morning sounding like you were actually panicing and 8 hours later youre standing in my aparement, looking like Ozzy Ozbourne from the mascara dried all over your cheeks. I mean I get that you want to sleep but so do I – the thing is knowing my best friend must have gone through some insan shit to step into a plane to travel to New York so fast must be serious. Just give me a hint at least.“

You sob again and wipe away some fresh tears coming from your eyes. All you see in your head is John standing in front of you in that supermarket , mumbling, stuttering, but really – not saying anything that could help you cope with that feeling of being left, of being „not enough“  of being… just something that could  be replaced by something better anytime.

„well…it’s just… John and I broke up…“ „Wait…you mean THAT John? John Frusciante eh? The time you were at the hospital we didnt really have a lot of contact and that time was a mess here too, moving from california to NYC is hell, … Im sorry I wasnt there enough for you! But i did get your letters and well, Kevin used to listen tot he Red Hot Chili  Peppers a lot so of course that name wasnt a strange one to me. Oh man, Jolene had tu bump into a lost rockstar for sure…“ „ yeah… I wish I hadn’t…“ „Did he do anything bad to you?“ „No,…I mean Rony I… I was seriously so in love with him, the time we spent together in rehab felt like a dream. The both of us got better and the more time we spent, the more it felt like we didnt really need there bad, self destructive habbits anymore. It was unsure how our relationship would go on after our treatment there but at that point, it felt like it was sure we’d stay togehter….and…“ You start crying again as you think of John hugging you and kissing you when you first met again with Flea down at Venice Beach. „ well, through all the time I thought we could be together and I had finally found someone to be with, to look after me, someone I could be the center of his life for but….“ „Wait Jolene. Stop for a second. He is John Frusicante. And well, we all must have heard the news by now, he’s back in the band and they’ll have a big comeback later this year. I know how much you’re longing for that one person centering his life around you but I dont think that would be a healthy relationship for either the two of you and… it definitely wont be a rockstar on the rise…“ You see your tears fall onto the wooden floor of Ronys flat while hearing her words. Of course. Sure she was right. That childish naive wish of being the reason for someone being alive was just irrational and impossible to be true. Yet you had been holding on to it for so long. Maybe because for you, many times in your life you didnt feel like you wanted to be alive – you just kept on existing for other people.

 „Hey…Ill make us some ginseng tea and we’ll sit down on the couch and talk for a bit. I understand that you’re feeling a lot of pain right now. You feel left behind and like you were not worthy enough to someone you loved to let you stay the one thing with the highest priority in his life. At least you think and feel like that. But come on. You’ve learned a lot in therapy. Your habbit of seeing everything in either black and white, the fact that youre always clinging onto a person you love and never want to let them go, make your whole life depend on them like they’re god… We both know where these feelings and behaviours come from, right?

„Are you talking about that… Borderline Personality Disorder I got diagnozed with?“ „We both know. Look, I cant fully understand what ist like to be you, with that mindset of yours. I dont know what its like to feel all these waves of anxiety about being left alone and not good enough to be loved. But these things combined with that strong sense of envy you get everytime someone does not pay all their attention to you will make you unable to have a happy relationship forever. I dont know the full story, but seen from a rational point I think ist great that John joined the band again. You told me in your letters how passionate he looked when he was playing guitar. You wrote in one of your letters that it seemed like he was drifting into another dimension while playing for you. And now that man has made it to recover fully. He’s back in his band and can do what he loves the most. Isnt that something you would wish for him if you really loved him?“

 All the while Rony was speaking to you, you couldnt say anyhting. She was so right. Your head always kept messing with you. Growing up with abusive and alcoholic parents that never showed you even a little hint of love you kept searching for that love in every relationship you ever had- clinging onto your partner, manipulating him and controling him to make sure he couldn’t leave – and of course, these things would always make you end up alone.

 „Did John have the chance to say anything about this? I mean If you spent some time togehter before you all of a sudden descided to come here, he sure must have had an own point of view about the whole thing?“  „yeah… he…He tried to speak but I wouldnt let him.. I just ran..away..“

Rony facepalmed herself. „ Thats so classic you. I love you, you’re my best friend . But not giving him a chance to speak,not fair.“

It hurt to talk to Rony about all of this because it made you realize that you overreacted in an irreversible way. Looking back now, your reaction was far away from any logical, ratioanal thing to do and just a typical , impulsive and panic „solution“ to a problem that you had made out in your head.

 „We cant do much about all of this now Jolene. Im glad you descided to come here instead of doing some bad shit to yourself again. Kevin and I broke up so there’s one room free here. If you can help me with the rent you can stay as long as you want.“ „wow, i Have like no money at all at the moment“ „yeah.. you’re in new york. We’ll get you a job somehwere. We’ll get through this.“

 As you lay down in the bed Rony had prepared for you , your best friend sits down on your bed for moment again looking at you „Heads up girl. We got this.“ „ Do you….do you think John and I will ever meet again? It feels wrong seeing it end like that but…“ „He’s a rockstar. I guess you’ll just have to turn on your TV“ „Thats not what I meant…“ „I know you idiot.“ Rony laughs, but imideatly realizes that jokes are no good idea right now.

 „ I hope you can maybe meet again. But for now, let time pass. You’re in New York now and he is in California. Maybe you should give up these california dreams for now. We’ll find you a job and maybe a good therapist. And thats really all that matters now. You, being okay.“

 Before You fall asleep you keep on seeng John in your head. The shock in his eyes. Like he knew how much he’d hurt you. Looking back now,it didnt seem like he looked like he got ‚caught‘ but more like he was worried about you and how seeing his face on that magazine would make you feel. And the moment he tried to say something…you just cut him off. You didnt give hime a chance to speak…. What if.. what could have been….

 No. Give up your california dreaming for now, Jolene.

[asmilefromthestreets]

A Smile From The Streets; Chapter 31

Song with this chapter:

In Relief - John Frusciante

-

“Is everybody ready to go?” Chad asked us whilst I was putting on my jacket. I took a deep breath and nodded. Was I ready to see John again? Absolutely not. But I missed him. Something inside me craves for him. Beats for him. It has been years. How was I supposed to act? What was I supposed to say? Those questions ran through my head like they were on a marathon, and I just let myself get occupied with it. I saw Flea grabbing some of his gifts for John and he placed them nicely in a bag. I saw Anthony walking towards me and wrapping his arm around me, signalling me that everything was going to be alright. 

I closed my eyes and listened to his soothing voice. I felt everything turning around me. It was like we were in another world, in another dimension.

Before I knew, I was running upstairs, into the bathroom. I quickly let myself fall on my knees and rested my hands on the cold toilet seat. I quickly emptied my stomach and felt so dizzy afterwards. My knees were open as well and they stung a lot. I then felt a cold cloth on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

Anthony slowly helped me to stand up and I thanked him while he moved some hair out of my face. “It’s okay” he assured me and I nodded. It’s okay. It’s okay.

“Maybe it’s better if you stay home” Anthony then slowly brought up and I immediately shook my head, feeling a little offended by it.

“Are you fucking crazy? I’m better, okay? I need to go” I said and removed the cloth off of me.

“Jesus, calm down. I was just worried” he said as I washed my hands and face. I splashed the cold water into my face and felt my muscles quickly tense up, but afterwards slowly relax.

“I’m okay” I said and dried my face with a towel. Anthony shrugged and walked downstairs. I began thinking that he didn’t want me to see John, but I wasn’t sure if that was the case. 

“Fuck you for cheating on me! Fuck you! This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives! You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned” Anthony shouted while he was only a few inches away from me. “I’m sorry!” I said again, louder this time. “You know what sucks about sorry? It’s the worst word in the world. Because it always happens after you fuck up something good” Anthony said and by that, he left. He got into his car and sped off. I broke down and fell onto my knees, crying loudly. I was bawling my eyes out. I grabbed the pictures of John and me and ripped them apart, one by one, just screaming it out. Nobody was going to hear me anyway.

I sat in the back with Chad’s hand rested on my shoulder. Anthony was driving while Flea was giving him the directions. I had calmed down and realized that the worries weren’t needed. I just needed to see what was going to happen.

“What if he’s bald?” Chad joked as we all grinned. I stared outside of the car window and counted the cars driving by. 

“I hope it’s not that stupid red mohawk hairdo” Anthony laughed and so did I. I somehow thought back then, that it looked really good on him. It was when I first met him. Crazy how time flies.

“Oh, John..” Flea sighed after his fits of laughter and I saw a tear escaping his eye. I smiled weakly. This was going to be very emotional for us- especially for Flea. John was like a brother to him. They told each other things not even I was aware of.

We pulled over and I immediately examined the house. It had a lot of big windows and had beautiful flowers on the porch. I somehow couldn’t move. It was like I was taped to my seat, instead, I was just trapped underneath a seat-belt.

We slowly got out of the car and I took a deep breath. I absolutely didn’t want to come off as nervous. Flea grabbed the gifts for John while Anthony wrapped his arm around me. 

We rang the bell and waited patiently. I then remembered I had a pack of cigarettes in my purse, but before I could grab them, the door opened.

“Welcome! I’m Jane” the woman said after she opened the door. She had light brown hair and green eyes. She had a dimple when she smiled and greeted us all with enthusiasm. 

“Come in, come in” she said after we told her our names.   

“Hi” I said awkwardly while she shook my hand. “You look so pretty!” she complimented me after I took of my jacket. I thanked her and examined her once more. 

We all sat down and I quickly grabbed Anthony’s hand. I felt his eyes on me, so I looked up at him. He slowly removed his hand from me and I tilted my head to look at him directly.

“What?” I mouthed to him but he just ignored me. I then looked at Flea who signed me to sit back again, so I did.

Jane sat down and placed her hands on her lap. She smiled and shook her head,

“This is unreal.. I am so blessed to meet all of you. I can’t wait to get to know you all better”

“Same counts for us, Jane” Chad said smiling and she giggled.

“Would you all like to drink something?”

“Ahhh, a good old beer would be nice” Chad chimed and rubbed his hands together.

“Haha, we don’t drink that here though�� Jane then said and turned more serious. We?

“Oh, well.. Water is alright” Flea then said and we shrugged,

“I’d like some water” Anthony confirmed and Jane stood up.

“Good, I’ll be back in a few” she said and then went off. Chad immediately burst out in laughter.

“Chad!” Flea said while poking his side, not looking very happy with Chad’s actions.

“What? I mean, she’s a total babe, but-”

“Chad stop” Anthony said, rolling his eyes. Chad threw his arms up in defense, but eventually let it go. I just kept quiet. I was lost for words, I really had nothing to say. I didn’t know what to think of her or what to say to her.

“Hey Ang, you alright though?” Chad suddenly asked me and I turned my head to face him,

“Yeah sure”

Jane came back and gave us our drinks, except for me.

“Oh shit, sorry, I totally forgot-” she quickly apologized, but I stood up,

“It’s okay, I got this”

I got slightly annoyed, but accidents happen. She pointed where the kitchen was and I thanked her. I walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind me. I grabbed a glass and filled it up. Jane’s voice wasn’t leaving my head. Who was she? What was she doing here? Where’s John?

I quickly gulped the water down and refilled it. I slowly put my glass down and rested my hands on the sink. I suddenly wasn’t feeling well. I looked around me and saw big pictures hanging on the wall. It were paintings, and I knew John had painted them. I smiled, not sure why, but I smiled. I felt a warmth in my body, flowing to my fingertips.

I grabbed the glass again and turned around, but suddenly bumped into someone again. 

“Sorry, uhm.. I didn’t see you” The guy said. I then dropped the glass and it shattered everywhere. I looked up.

“John” I breathed out. He widened his eyes and my breathing got heavier. He had long brown curly hair and a little beard. He still looked very young in the face, but more.. bright. His eyes were beautiful big and round and he had beautiful plump lips.

“Is everything okay here?” Jane asked us, but neither John or I noticed that she had been asking the same question twice. 

“Y-yes honey, just give us a second” John said, his eyes never leaving mines. Honey. So they were a thing.

“How- how are you? I d-didn’t expect you” John said and I gulped,

“G-good, I-”

We both were so lost for words. We knew we had to walk back before it would look weird. I slowly made my way closer to him. Before I knew, he had grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his neck. I closed my eyes and we slowly made little movements on the beat of the music only we felt, only we heard. I inhaled his scent and couldn’t help but tear up. Tears were slowly escaping my eyes. I never wanted to move out of this position. I felt the power, the pleasure and the pain. 

“John!” Flea shouted and jumped up as soon as we walked in. He ran towards John and gave him a big hug, even lifting him up a little. John just cracked up and Chad went over to him.

“Look what we got here. Greenie” Chad said and gave him a pat on the back. John blushed as he was overwhelmed with emotions.                                                                                                                                                               “That hairrrrr” Chad giggled as he pointed at John’s long curly brown hair. Anthony stood up as well and John shyly put his hand out for Anthony to shake. “Oh, come here” Anthony said and pulled John into a hug. I looked at Jane who was smiling widely now. So was the rest. I quickly wiped the tears away and smiled too.

Jane slowly made her way over to me and tugged on my arm,

“Want to make dinner together?” she asked and I looked at her, nodding almost instantly. We walked back into the kitchen and I felt John’s eyes glued on me. 

“John has told me a lot about you” Jane said while we were cutting some vegetables. I began cutting the union in smaller pieces, but as soon as that sentence escaped her mouth, I looked at her.

“Oh, did he really?” I questioned, subtle as possible. She nodded and handed me over a little bowl where I put the sliced vegetables in. “Just about the two of you” she smiled and I smiled too.

“He really is great. We got together when he left rehab” she then began talking and I grabbed my knife, clenching it. “That’s great news” I said quickly and began cutting the rest much rougher. 

“He is an amazing guitar player too. He had played me some of his songs. I cried when he did that. One time, he played it and it was like I could feel his soul, you know? It’s very strange”

“Awesome” I said, not really wanting to hear the rest of it. I didn’t want to look or sound annoyed, because Jane really seemed like an honest nice person to me. 

“Fuck!” I hissed as I accidentally cut my finger. Jane quickly went to grab a paper towel and wrapped it around my finger. I thanked her and she told me it wasn’t a big deal.

We all sat at the table, enjoying the amazing lasagna Jane and I made. I didn’t do much though, but she thanked me very much for my help. I then saw her shoving some bread into John’s mouth as she giggled. I bit my lip and dug into my food, not paying attention to the chatter of the rest.

“Excuse me please, Angie, can you come?” Anthony suddenly said as I looked up from staring into the distance. I stood up and followed him. He made sure nobody was paying attention to us and then sighed.

“You’re acting really weird. I mean, I know it’s because of John and all, but try to enjoy it, okay?” He said and I frowned,

“But I am enjoying it. In fact, I’m having a great time, especially when you weren’t talking to me” I said and wanted to walk away, but Anthony quickly grabbed my arm and spun me around. I then felt his lips on mines and I closed my eyes. Anthony’s hand slowly rubbed my thigh and I felt him teasing me so much. I moved my body a little because of all the tingles he was sending me.

“Oh, sorry” we heard and we quickly parted. It was John, carrying some empty plates inside. He quickly continued walking and I stared at him, until Anthony grabbed my head to face him. “Ant-” I started but felt his lips again.

“I need to pee” I said and excused myself from him. I looked back and saw Anthony sitting outside again. I then quickly ran to my purse and grabbed a cigarette. Anthony didn’t know I was still smoking, and it was better if he didn’t. I then went to look for a lighter and cursed as soon as I didn’t find one.

“Want mines?” I heard and turned around. John showed his cigarette too,

“Nothing better than a smoke after dinner, right?” he smiled and I nodded. I put the cigarette in between my lips and he lit it up. I stared him in the eyes whilst he concentrated on my lips. I then inhaled it and blew the smoke out in his face. John then brought his hand up to my face, slowly rubbing my cheek,

“Why didn’t you want to see me, John? When I visited you when you were still in rehab.. Do you know how much that hurt, John? Do you even know how much that actually killed me?”

I then grabbed his hand and slowly put it on my chest, so he could feel it pound. 

“Y-you’re right” John began. I saw him tear up.

We then walked outside and I sat down beside Anthony. This time, he was the one to grab my hand. I smiled at him and he placed a kiss on my forehead.

The rest of the night was filled with music made by John and Flea. Anthony was free-styling a little bit and it put a smile on my face. A lot of emotions was going through me, in this whole room. Everything was so pure. It was all there...

-

I love you all, let me know what you think! writing soon again..

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There has never been a Red Hot Chili Peppers album quite so broad in scope; and there has never been one with this much input from Frusciante. He even collaborated with Rubin to write some lush string arrangements for the album.

“John really inspired us to take it to the next level on this album,” says the band’s drummer Chad Smith. “On Californication he had just rejoined us, and he started writing music right away. But we hadn’t really had time to reconnect, personally and musically, through touring, travelling together and spending time back at home. The chemistry of our band is so important. And now John is a really key, integral part of this new music that we have.”

“I wanted this album to have some more dimension, more different sounds and more movements in the chord progressions,” explains Frusciante. “But I also wanted it to be more fun.”

Guitarist September 2002 (227)

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Interview with John Frusciante on February 24, 2001 (The Invisible Moment, part 3)

WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THE CHILI PEPPERS. I ask John how it feels to be in the same circus again, that made him decide the quit the band. His reaction is fierce. 'The fact that we tried to become popular and famous, was not the reason. The things we did, the things that everyone does if you’re young and successful, dislocated me from the inside, that is correct. But our success didn’t hurt me. On the contrary. The problem was, that I wasn’t able to see the beautiful side of what I had to offer to the people. I know now that, when writing, you put yourself in a four-dimensional surrounding. You recreate that through your music, and pass it on to the three-dimensional world: the audience. That music creates a new space in the heads of the listeners and gets in a chemical reaction with their feelings. Those feelings, on their part, originated as a reaction to your music. That’s a beautiful symbiotic process, but you have to recognize it. You first have to realize what levels that process creates in all kinds of new dimensions. That’s what I am now. That is the reason I can appreciate what we’re doing now, and I couldn’t back then.’ He twiddles a bit with his hat. On, off, on, off. 'If someone would have explained me this back then, nothing would have gone wrong. But, I wanted to now desperately why I felt the urge to make music. I simply wanted to see that explained. I knew that it had to do with me, the inner me, with spirituality. But I didn’t understand how that worked. At a certain moment, I only felt things that were aimed at the outside: making crazy faces during photo shoots, jumping around on stage, doing interviews, receiving awards, talking about stuff I cared about for so long, that they became things I didn’t care about anymore. Everything diminished in meaning . My creativity disappeared. At the end of the Blood Sugar Sex Magic-sessions, I had reached another creative peak, and I knew that. But all of a sudden, the album was finished and all of that fell in decline. We had to go on tour, while my role in the group had nothing to offer to me anymore at that moment. Very painful. I desperately tried to turn the tide: go for a walk every morning. Sitting on a bench and draw. Persistently trying to hold on to that creativity. But it didn’t work. At one point, I didn’t even enjoy playing the guitar anymore.’ So John dropped out of the Peppers decisively. I had to find out what happened inside of me. I had to create order in all these thoughts, all those voices that talked to me. And what also played a role: the other band members didn’t get on with each other. There was friction and tension between the band members. And it’s no fun to play in a band with people that are not your friends.’ But, John laughs, that was then. And this is now. And now we know what it’s like without each other. Because of that we appreciate and respect each other a lot more than we did back then. We’re all on our own busy making ourselves better people. We’re nicer to each other. We’re happy again, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.’