#joelkémon sitcom

[toxicanonymity]

Brothel Reality Show - Master List

The Joels live in a mansion (@toxicbrothel) and there's a reality show that lets us see behind the scenes what they're doing when they're not in their fics. Discussing their escapades, being bros, bickering, hyping each other up, worrying about what y'all think of them. Sometimes the tv producers try to stir up drama. The Joel mansion is on the Toxic Compound where slashers and other blorbos also live.

Main cast and their fics: joelkémons

edit by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Scenes

Love 2 Cuck

Night walks date; ct'd

⭐Drama with slasher moving in

Slasher asks Lincoln for advice

Night walks date Intel

⭐Other joels try to help stepdad

⭐The DEA (Javi P.)

Housing sitch (welcome cake)

Stepdad redemption arc

Ratings and dirty talk

Where's night walks

⭐Dicks

John Wick

⭐Anon, Anon pt. 2 and ZIPLINE PIC by puddles

moral superiority

⭐Lincoln & stepdad watch parties

slasher party house

Jesse Palmer

Boyd bungalow

⭐ madame's favorites

Shorts, HCs, etc.

brothel origin (pt. 2); show origin; opening credits; soundtrack

Lincoln gives Night Walks a ride

Lincoln is difficult

Swim trunks

Starstruck over night walks

Therapy

brothel!Reader HCs by @scratchietella

Depravity channel by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

[toxicbrothel]

slasher party house

Word got out that @toxicanonymity is spending the night at the Slasher Party House with ghostface, leaving the Joels to run amok in their mansion. They're having a pool party and Vampire disappears. Thighs knows what vamp is doing--looking for his emotional support Joel. Sure enough, Thighs finds Vamp crouching outside the Slasher Party House, eavesdropping on ghostface and toxic.

Thighs stands there for a second with his hands in his shorts pockets, then clears his throat.

Vampire is so startled he jumps. "God damn, Thighs. What the hell?"

Thighs asks, "you alright, man?"

There's a look of horror on Vamp's face. "yyyeah," he stammers. "Is that, uh-- that's not night walks in there, is it? In the mask?"

Thighs sighs. "It's complicated."

"Nah, it's not him. It can't be," vampire insists. "He's---you got any idea what they're talkin' about?" He's really distressed.

"no, it's not him, man " thighs reassures him.

Inside the party house, toxic laughs, and in the window there's a silhouette of her kicking her feet in the air. "this is so," she laughs, "oh my god, this is dark."

The phone rings. "Don't call me when I'm right here," she laughs. Ghostface shrugs, tosses his knife in the air, and fails to catch it, probably high.

[toxicanonymity]

I'm dead 😭😭😭 I love you!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

🤭 Inspired by the Joelkemon Brothel reality show by our Queen of Depravity @toxicanonymity ☠️ 👏🫶I love you and our pervy and creepy boys very much!💕💕💕

[toxicanonymity]

Is it legal to ask you how Trouble is doing in the brothel? Can you ask him if he misses me? 👉🏻👈🏻

Is it legal LOL ily. Of course he does 🫶💕

brothel master list

John Wick

After Raider discovers the secret bedroom, he briefly tries to blackmail Trouble with no real plan. Trouble tells him, "you can't blackmail me, man. Don't you know my fic?" Then feels bad because everyone knows raider is a bad reader like me. "If you wanna hang out, let's hang out."

Late at night I'm lying in my bed alone trying to read my own story. I sigh and look at the clock. I'm getting ready to knock on Trouble's door and hear a bunch of shooting in surround sound.

Raider says, "Yeah. I can see it. They don't even know, do they?" Trouble says, "not really, but if i come back there's gonna be more about my job."

I crack open the door. "There she is," they say in unison. I'm wearing my hug sleep pod, so I very slowly begin to shuffle over to the bed, taking several minutes. Raider comes and picks me up because it's taking so long. He puts me between them like a log.

Trouble looks at my coccoon, "what is this, a fuckin chastity belt," as he puts a pillow under my head. It's a huge bed and rest assured we're on top of it not in it. I ask, "can you burrito me in a blanket?"

And he's like "on top of this?" Plucking my hug sleep pod. "that bad, huh?" He takes a rich guy blanket off the foot of the bed. "Ya know if you wanna take him out, you've got the right two guys here." He drapes the blanket over me and I fall asleep watching John Wick.

Raider whispers, "what do you wanna do about Lincoln?" Trouble reminds him, "we can't touch him unless she says. The brothel is like, the Continental" (John wick hotel where they can't "do business"). "she needs your support though." Raider asks, "what should I do," and Trouble shrugs, "keep fuckin' shit up. and whatever she says with sweet pea."

the pic is a john wick ref. trouble is trying to retire from his job.

[toxicanonymity]

brothel - where's night walks

FAQ ; Brothel Master List; Latest: Ratings and dirty talk

------------

It’s cocktail hour, and the men are starting to worry about Night Walks since no one has seen him.  A dark shadow passes by the window but none of them notice.  

Thighs: “Is he on a date?”

Trouble: “No date card, that would be a first”

Stepdad: “He’s never missed a cocktail hour since I’ve been here.”

*A moment of tense silence*

Slasher: “Should we split up and look?”

Raider: “Alright, I’m goin’ down to the basement.”

Lincoln: “I’ll check outside.”

*The phone rings and they let it ring again*

Thighs: “What if it’s him?”

Raider: “Get it”

Thighs: “You get it”

*Raider’s nostrils flare. Stepdad looks at Thighs like, are you crazy man? Thighs puts his hands up and mouths 'sorry' to Raider.*

Vampire: “I’ll get it.”  *Vampire answers the phone*. “Uhhh. . .” *he looks around* “Joel residence, Joel speaking.”

“Hello Joel.” It’s an unnatural, digital sounding voice.  

Vampire asks, “Who’s there?” 

“Never ask who’s there. . .  Down to the basement, Raider? Really?”

*They look at each other and Vampire mouths, ‘what do i say?’ Stepdad takes the phone and puts it on mute.*

Trouble: “It’s fuckin’.... What’s his face... The one with that douchebag pretty boy suckin’ blood off his fingers”

*Slasher nods, failing to hide his excitement*  “Ghostface.”

Ghostface: “Attaboy, Slasher.” 

Stepdad looks at the phone and whispers, “What the fuck” then covers the microphone end of the phone. 

Slasher whispers, “It’s gotta be someone we know. If we wanna find Night Walks we gotta figure out who it is.” 

Ghostface: "What's your favorite movie?"

*The men ignore the question.*

Lincoln: “Gotta be Michael, right?”

Slasher rolls his eyes. “Mike doesn’t talk, he’s the one person we can eliminate.”

Stepdad: "COREY, though. . ."

Slasher (to Stepdad): "Who the fuck is Corey?"

Ghostface: I asked you a question.

Stepdad (to Slasher): "Halloween Ends? David Gordon Green trilogy?"

Ghostface: "Interesting choice, Stepdad. Didn't know you were a horror guy."

Stepdad: "Shoulda read Fandango."

Raider nods, "Easily your best--"

Stepdad: "--But that's not my favorite movie."

Thighs: “Guys, it’s obviously a producer, just hang up.” 

Thighs lunges for the phone. Stepdad blocks him and whispers “What if it’s the madame?”

Lincoln: "No way. She wouldn’t waste time–"

Trouble laughs and shakes his head. "You don’t know her, Link”

Ghostface: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE ?

Trouble sighs. "Slasher, it's your night to choose."

Thighs: "Why are we playing along with this?"

Slasher: "Alright, uhhhhh. . ."

*Violent coughing fit on the other end of the line* “Oh, shit.” *more coughing* (weakly, no voice changer) “That’s some good shit.” 

The men squint skeptically at each other.  Stepdad rolls his eyes and mouths, “It’s him. Night Walks."

Vampire (whispering):  "How do we know for sure?"

Thighs nods and steps up to the phone. “Hey man, I’m hungry, goin’ to White Castle, wanna come with?”

Ghostface: “Hell yea—oh, shit”

Thighs: "what the hell are ya doin', man?"

-

This is a reference to NW coded ghostface - Every inch / Every inch 2

[toxicanonymity]

In the brothel: do the Joels have like. Moral superiority over how they treat their girls?

Like does Raider!joel look at caught! Joel and think “damn what an asshole. See sweet pea? Ain’t good to yuh?”

Brothel master list

Oh yeah, there's kind of an unspoken rule not to go there with each other in the brothel (still happens occasionally), but they'll judge the hell out of Joels who aren't there like Caught. Raider looks especially good in comparison to Caught so he wants to call attention to his stories, like he sent me that anon. 🙄

Taking care of their readers sexually is high on their list of values, so they feel some moral superiority if someone is depriving theirs. Among each other, I think the elephant in the room rn is Lincoln.

-------

Flashback to "stepdad redemption arc," deleted scene - stepdad has jacked off and cried but not had sex, and they just looked at the ratings.

Stepdad: “what do I do about the holdouts?”

Raider: “oh, you're never gonna get’em, it’s fine.”

Thighs: “time to fuck your reader, Step.” 

The men murmur in approval. Stepdad nods thoughtfully: “yeah, maybe so. . .” 

Lincoln: “you should do it when you're good and ready. When you know she's ready.” 

Awkward silence, irritated glances at Lincoln.

------------

[toxicanonymity]

brothel - ratings and dirty talk

Blog FAQ / Brothel Show

Audience favorability ratings are in. They're seated around the sectional while Trouble reads.

Trouble is looking over the report. “Couple of holdouts, but overall--shit, these are better than pre-Tinder. Man they love it when you-uhhhh- Step, they're real happy with you, man."

Stepdad: "They love it when I what?" He snatches the report from Trouble. There's a word cloud of audience comments: whimpering, pathetic, make him cry, jack off. Stepdad drops the paper, slumps back into the cushion and rubs his temples.

Cocktail hour has begun.

Vampire: "Hey, anyone seen Night Walks? We were gonna hang out."

Trouble: "Word of advice? Fangirl all ya want-"

Raider nods, "He eats it up"

Trouble: "-but don’t ask for tips on your dirty talk."

Vampire: “Dirty–I wasn’t gonna–what?”

Raider: “Makes him feel like a whore.” 

Vampire looks around, “Uh. . .”

Trouble clarifies, “like people only want one thing from him.”

Raider (crosses his arms and nods regretfully). “He’ll go off about how much he can bench, his moves, his cock. . .”

Stepdad: “Thighs, help vampire with his dirty talk.”

Thighs: "don't ya think Lincoln's more his style"

Slasher: "ouch!"

Thighs: "Just the whole my-reader's-special-"

Lincoln: "Sure, man"

Vampire: “Guys, I'm not gonna" (takes a breath, shakes his head at himself for sounding judgmental) "to each his own, but I’m not even–(sighs) I just wanted to hang out"

Thighs: "has ANYONE seen Night Walks tonight?” 

The men look around and no one has seen him. The phone rings. They look at each other and let it ring. 

Raider: "Prolly got too high, I'll check on him later"

(to be continued)

[toxicanonymity]

I love the brothel so much NW recounting his date and boasting about his own Red Flags: the drugs (nothing but the good shit for my bad girl), the coercion (damn that storm came at the perfect time). Then they're all kind of talking again about their red flags, Raider and NW being the loudest and proudest.

"What about you, Lincoln? You can't be as squeaky clean as you seem" -NW

Lincoln just glowers at him and then one more glare to the camera. Idk what he'd say in the interview room but something snarky and sexy.

(I know GILF Joel isn't a Joelkémon but I also like picturing two Joels arguing loudly reality tv style, and then the camera quickly pans to Pawn Shop sitting in his arm chair in the same room snoring through it all with his reading glasses still on 🤣😴🖤)

Lmao i love the pawn shop thing. 

Raider and Night Walks competing about their red flags: 

Raider: You had nothin’ to do with the storm! It’s not coercion if it’s an act of God.  

Night Walks: Act of God? You’re such a suckup, man. I could’ve given her a ride, ya know. 

Raider: You’re gettin’ soft, buddy. Everybody sees it.  She wants it, you're in, take the win. Leave the bad boy shit to me.

*pan to GILF and he's snoring*

The joelkemons have their own theories about Lincoln, too.  slasher!Joel is still loitering outside the mansion in his camper.  A few of the guys think he’s cool and want him officially let into the brothel, but I already said not until Lincoln’s series is over, so they resent him for it.  They also think Lincoln is a prude for his innocent reader.  Discussing their Lincoln theories, Thighs Out is tells Stepdad in a hushed voice,  “dude, that’s why Slasher’s still out in the yard: one killer at a time.” He and Stepdad are looking at each other like holy shit, got it all figured out.

But then the camera refocuses on the window behind them where Michael Myers is just standing there then walks away.

Sitcom episodes

FAQ

[toxicanonymity]

another masterpiece by @gasolinerainbowpuddles, this one for our reality show, where all the joels live in a brothel on the toxic compound.

Look at the joelkemon cards!!!! And bobblehead! And the depravity channel logo by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog!!

check out the new joelkémon cards if you haven't yet.

[toxicbrothel]

caught reading kinktober crack

Trouble walks in on me having a private moment. I'm so startled that my iPad and silicone Joel fly out of my hands in opposite directions. The iPad, which Trouble bought me, lands in his hands.

He looks at the screen and smirks. "the hell is a smorgimum?" He picks up the toy and tosses it to me. Then he sits down on the bed and starts scrolling and I can't help but notice he gets a little hard. I explain Jizz fingers to him as best I can. "Then he makes a fan cam of her genitalia set to Toxic by Britney Spears."

Trouble looks impressed. "If you want a Mr. Ben, why don't you make one right now?" He's never one to judge, but he doesn't quite get it.

I shake my head. "It's the fact that Jizz Fingers makes him *for* me, abandoning his true form to give me what I want."

Trouble nods like he's taking it in. "Want me to pretend to be Jizz Fingers taking on the form of Mr. Ben?"

"You can't do it like him. Jizz Fingers can time jump and educate himself on the character."

Trouble nods. "Damn, he really is a good character."

Ref: jizz fingers (original. joel), Egg-cellent assembly (Mr. Ben) by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

[toxicanonymity]

Can we paint #love2cuck on the side of the Joelkemon brothel mailbox? Or at least get a welcome mat with it for the front door?

This is now a must. I can just imagine them sharing their cucking exploits in the kitchen over breakfast.

Stepdad: *stirring the pancake batter, getting it everywhere.*

Lincoln: *tenses at the mess and gently takes the bowl from him.*

Thighs out: *pours orange juice while bragging about cucking his son*

Raider: ok but did ya shoot him at the end?

Trouble: yeah thighs, did I miss the part where you made him jack off?

Night walks: (sticking up for the new guy) some of us are just tryin' to have a good time, man.

Speakeasy: ever cucked a whole bar?

Raider: or a whole massage parlor?

Free Use: dr. rock doesn't count

[FAQ]

[toxicanonymity]

I know you say Lincoln Joel is the most toxic but suddenly i can’t see. Im blind. What red flags??? Idk what your talking about 😂😂 I am enamored with this Joel. I swear you put crack in your writing lol

Thank you 🖤⛳ 🖤 in brothel mode sry

Lincoln walks in, tucking in his shirt and looking smug.

Thighs out: why's he get so much attention this week?

Free use (rolling eyes): He's difficult. Squeaky wheel.

Lincoln: 'Cause I'm complex.

Speakeasy: Got news for ya, buddy. it's 'cause you're a creep.

Night walks: Nah, I'm a creep. he's somethin' else. *shivers*

[toxicanonymity]

While NW Joel is reveling in all the attention from his new fic, I'm imagining all the other Joels sitting around the brothel talking to each other about him. Like what's his secret?? How is he such a pussy magnet??? Reality tv style each Joel comments about him to the camera. And then he strolls inside and sits at the head of the dining room table telling the other Joels about his latest "excursion" and all the hot deets. Meanwhile Lincoln Joel is giving side eye to the camera slowly shaking his head 🤣

Lmaooooo ilysm.  This is so accurate.  

Before Night Walks gets back, Raider is talking as an authority, “I’m tellin’ ya, fellas. Ya gotta wear your red flags proud, that’s the secret.” 

In his interview, Trouble tells the camera, “i mean, his shotgunning move is kinda cool. . .”  because of that time Trouble smoked with us.

Back with the other joels, they’re murmuring about each other’s red flags.  Speakeasy is mocking Stepdad for trying to keep it in his pants. 

And then night walks coming in and recounting his date with the Lincoln side-eyeing the camera omg.  Love the ongoing storyline between those two.  Always the side-eye from Lincoln 💀💀💀. 

Sitcom episodes

FAQ

[toxicanonymity]

It's Halloween anon 🎃🔧 I saw the anon who wanted a Joelkemon theme song so I came up with this (it's beyond stupid but I had fun writing it 😂listen to the actual theme song first)

I wanna be the biggest slut

Like no one ever was

To cuck them all is my real test

To fuck them is my cause

I will go to the brothel, boo

Searching for a Joel

Night walks, stepdad, thighs out too

So they can fill my hoooles

[Chorus]

Joelkemon!

(Gotta fuck 'em all) On a dirty beddddd

Joelkemon!

Giving Raider some painful head

Oh, you're gonna cry

And watch Jesse/Jack jerk off and die

(Gotta fuck 'em all) A cock so true

Lincoln Joel I'm looking at you! [he's my fave🥰]

You slap me and I'll fuck you (Ooh, ooh)

Joelkémon! (Gotta fuck 'em all)

Gotta fuck 'em all

Yeah....

Slow 👏 Clap 👏 💀💀💀 And in the opening credits they would each stop what they're doing when their name comes up 90s style.

Thighs out is putting on sunscreen in a deck chair then lays back and lowers his shades at you with a raise of his eyebrows.

Raider is fluffing the dirty mattress then stands back, admires his work, and gives you a thumbs up.

Lincoln is picking apples off a tree, then turns around, casually tosses an apple and catches it.

Night walks finishes rolling a joint then lights it and slowly nods as he exhales.

Speakeasy is fucking someone and right as he comes the camera freezes on his face (Halloween Anon).

Stepdad closes his computer and spins around in his chair to smile with his hand casually on his thigh (@fan-fiction-floozy)

[toxicanonymity]

trouble!Joel making himself at home at the front of my mind after I gave him an annual Halloween party and had him fuck reader in costume & fangs.

Him: pops open lawn chair.gif

Me: 🚬🤡.gif

Like the Joels all live in one house (brothel) and I'm trying to spend time with (write) raider!Joel and we're having a tense moment and trouble!Joel sees on his surveillance app and strolls up in his ray bans with his John wick silencer like "need me to take care of this guy?" Lincoln just out in the backyard by himself making me come to him.

[toxicanonymity]

Now I want a sitcom about the Joelkémon brothel in the style of a reality show lmao

Yes!! I totally imagine it in the style where they each talk to the camera about the drama 😭