#joe u silly goose!!

[starspann]

wouldn’t it be nice (pt. 2) | 18+

joe cooper x reader

fem!reader, she/her pronouns are used

★☆✵☆★

warnings: cursing, smut

coop ruins everything

★☆✵☆★

weirdly enough, the blonde had been keeping calendar.

exactly 4 months and 8 days.

that’s how long cooper had been battling the urge to confess his feelings to remer’s girlfriend.

to be even more precise, he’s been wanting to for as long as the lovely couple had been together.

sometimes he’d practice his confession in the shower. while lazily shampooing his hair, he’d talk to the tiled wall, and somehow still manage to become embarrassed. he’d muster up a few broken phrases before falling silent.

“what a fucking wimp.” he told himself. he couldn’t even tell her in an imaginary scenario, how could he grow the balls to tell it to her face?

he’d shake his head, disappointed in himself.

then the soapy suds from his hair would fall and slide into his eye, he’d scream and almost slip on the slick bathtub floor.

not only did he lack the courage, but she’s dating sir fucking swish. doug remer, joe coopers best friend since they were little kids. they did everything together. used to read comic books together, ride bikes together… now, they drink together. a lot.

coop and remer found themselves seated at what could only be described as a seedy bar, like so many other nights they had spent together. and just like every other night, remer felt compelled to talk about y/n.

“hey man, we should get out of here soon. y'know, since y/n's coming over tonight." he opened his wallet to reveal a condom.

cooper let out an internal groan, feeling both embarrassed and annoyed at the same time.

"yeah, yeah i’ll follow you," he sighed exasperatedly as remer pushed off the stool and slowly made his way towards the door of the bar.

as cooper stood there, watching remer walk away, a flash of light on the dirty bar floor caught his eye.

it appeared to be a small, square-shaped, laminated paper laying next to his feet.

figuring it slipped from remer’s wallet when he opened it, he Immediately stooped down and swept it up, ready to call out for his friend, but before he could even get one word out, cooper turned the piece of paper around with curiosity.

his heart beat quickened and his cock twitched at the image.

a hazy, half-assed taken polaroid photo of y/n, stripped bare and invitingly curled up on remers bed.

though it was a little blurry, he could still admire all the details. her fists gripping onto remer’s baby blue sheets that he always refused to change, her eyes gently shut, her mouth hanging slightly open, and worst of all, remers hand placed on her thigh, his hips snapping into hers.

the picture was obviously taken mid-fuck.

cooper face flushed hot. it was like an instant dream come true; he had admired her from afar for so long yet never had the courage to act upon it. now here she was, willingly on display right before his eyes.

instead of doing the right thing, and being a respectable human being; he stuffed the photo in his back pocket, following remer to the old car.

coop’s dick strained against his jeans the entire car ride.

back at the house, y/n cursed at her curly haired boyfriend for losing such a thing.

“jesus fucking christ, doug! one thing i ask you to do, one thing!” she smacked him on the arm, furious with his careless actions.

“i told you not to put it in a place that you’d forget about!” her arms were crossed as she angrily paced around his unkempt room.

“hey, okay, first of all, i didn’t forget where i put it, it must’ve slipped out is all!” he threw his hands up in defense as if being accused of a crime.

“holy shit.” her breath was no longer steady, in fact, it sounded like she was on the brink of tears.

any girl would be if they had just learned their boyfriend lost a naked picture of them, most likely in a public space.

“y/n, baby, relax! it’s somewhere, okay? i’ll find it.” he held his pinkie up, awaiting y/n to hook hers with his, “just trust me?”

a promise, again. exactly like how he promised her he wouldn’t lose the photo in the first place.

“..okay.” y/n gave in, lifting her hand towards his and pinkie swearing to another false vow.

remer smiled at her with a toothy grin.

“see? that’s more like it.” he stood up from the bed and patted her on the back, “i’ll find it. swear.”

in the room next to theirs, coop was slumped, perched on his bed with his head in his hands. he was staring down at the tattered polaroid grasped tightly in his palms, considering what he should do with it. he could chuck it away, but what would be the point of disposing a perfectly good photo? a sexy one of his crush at that?

he quickly placed it on the side table next to him. avoiding its gaze, he shook his head, disgusted with his own actions.

without a doubt it was wrong. so fucking wrong.

he knew it, too.

despite his unease at the moment, that did not stop his hand from reaching for the lewd polaroid and feverishly pulling down his pants.

he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt as he considered how wrong it seemed for him to give in to such temptation, but yet here he was, desperately trying to satisfy his untameable urges.

he collapsed back onto his bed, the springs inside the mattress making an irritating squeak as he threw his boxers off, kicking them to the side.

he was already pretty hard, the view of polaroid only causing his cock to throb even more.

he laid his head against a pillow and began to work on himself, nothing but y/n on his mind.

he pictured her on his bed, her legs spread for him, her body inviting him to join her.

the movement of his hand sped up.

he’d make her feel so, so good. god, if he only had the chance, he’d spend hours between her legs. till her eyes rolled back. till she forgot remer’s name. eat her out like she was his last meal and he was a terribly starved inmate on death row.

he thought about what she might say,

“fuck me, coop. need you so bad. need your cock inside me.”

“you’re tongue feels fucking great right there, keep going.”

“sh-shit coop—“

he pictured her stuttering through her moans, unable to contain the pleasure he would give her.

his finger glided over his tip, playing with the pre-cum forming at his slit.

he looked at the picture once more, hand shaking and unable to keep steady as the other one stroked himself.

his hips bucked into his fist, pulling a noisy whine from his throat.

he was practically mesmerized by the image.

he really couldn’t help it. her name just rolled off his lips so easily,

“shit, y/n.” he groaned.

loudly.

it really wasn’t his fault. he had no idea that remer and y/n were still in the house at the time. in his mind, he thought they went out. he was far too busy imagining hot, wild sex with her to hear them arguing next door.

he moaned her name over and over again.

that’s when y/n opened his door.

of course, coop had forgotten to lock it.

why wouldn’t he?

[rabbit-or-rib]

stalker!toby x oblivious!reader , maybe a lil nsfw?? idk sry if this is weird 😭😭🙏🏻

NOT TOO WEIRD FOR MEEEEEEE i love u silly goose u got it

[ NSFW ] 🪓 Stalker!Toby Rogers x oblivious!reader sfw + nsfw headcanons

SFW:

he's embarrassed of himself, he knows he's not supposed to be doing what he's doing but can you blame him?

it's not his fault you looked so pretty when he met you at that shitty convenience store a couple months ago, that you smiled at him and waved despite everything off-putting about him

Toby has a very Joe Goldberg mentality about it if you catch my drift- everything he does, he does for you and for the betterment of your life (in his eyes)

when he watches just outside your window while you make dinner or when you have friends over, or when you're putting away clothes, it's to make sure you're staying safe!

not at all so he already knows what you like to eat when he gets the balls to talk to you, or so he can make sure none of your friends have a crush on you, or to know which drawers to look in for what when you're gone.

just for your safety 😸

he sneaks in when you're out, just to get a feel for what his life will be like as soon as he's with you

he lays in your bed, cleans up little bits here and there, leaves little things scattered around every so often that he found while he was out that he thought you might like

he really does love that you have no idea- that you keep your curtains open, your eyes on what you're doing, and that you don't worry about the noises you hear sometimes that feel just a little too close to your home.

NSFW:

he steals ur underwear shawty i'm so sorry

it's just the knowledge that they've touched you, that the fabric has been soaked by you, that makes it so he just can't help himself

he'll wash them before he returns them!!!

he'll slip into your house just before he knows you'll get home to hide under your bed or in your closet, waiting for you to undress for him

(but also if you have anyone over, he may or may not get a liiittle jealous and steal one of your used pairs, cumming in them and slipping them right back into your dirty laundry basket with the knowledge in mind that you'll wear them again and he'll have been the one to ruin them)

if you end up getting yourself off while he's in the room, he's frozen for the first minute

he just can't believe he's really getting to hear all your pretty little noises and so close

he'll try to get himself off when you do, but it's so hard staying quiet when he has to stroke himself as such a slow pace to make sure there isn't any noise that could throw you off

the real challenge for him, though, is not getting out from his hiding spot and fucking you properly

in his wildest dreams, you see him and can't help but want him too, letting him fuck you however you tell him to because he just wants to be good for you

you'd pull his hair and press your foreheads together, the feeling of you around him would be heavenly and he knows he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going god knows how many rounds with you

but he knows it's out of reach.

and so, he's stuck laying there, a hand over his mouth and he listens to you moan and whimper above him while he gets off agonizingly slow to the daydream of you

[trannydean-moved]

Bro I am messaging u directly to tell u that is absolutely not Joe biden it's a joke. That's Chris Evans in old man make up. A la sam party city wig debacle.

sobbing i am a silly gullible goose

[murkymisc]

Record #125: The Garden - U Want The Scoop? EP (2017)

This is silly music for a silly goose to listen to while being silly. It reminds me a lot of stuff by Joe Hawley which usually i would use as an insult but luckily it avoids going completely in on the wackiness and becoming unlistenable. My favourite track is All Access, its got a good beat and some decent lyrics. 6/10

[bisluthq]

He could have better work, but he is choosing not to. Such an imbecile logic. Maybe you would have a point if he weren't working at all. But the fact he is. And all he can get are villain character roles. And that critical acclaim maybe existed on that panned and flopped ang lee movie, but afterwards, his acting generated no attention and praise at all. I have to give you, he can sell a scowl like no one.

Dude he is choosing his roles the only person being imecilic is u. Like Daniel Day Lewis could do a Marvel film tomorrow if he wanted to right? Like he just needs to make a call. But he’s not because he’s choosing to star in the lead of Oscar guarantors.

I’ll give you the drama of casting Joe A and how the press circuit for it would look means you wouldn’t want to cast him in the lead of Awards bait but he could do romcoms eaaasily or he could break up with Tay and get better roles. This is his choice, you silly goose 😘

[hayloohooman]

How the Exorcist Should Have Ended - a crack fic by yours truly (50ShadesofHolby on Fanfiction.net and LestradeisBae on ArchiveofOurOwn)... enjoy honeys

Dark day it were init. Daddy Damien Carrot and Daddy Lancaster Merlin were being priesty bois and trying to exercise a demon in Regan Macneil. She had gone right syco. Anyways, these 2 priesty bois were not doin such a great job, and our boy Dimmy was getting right triggered by silly goose Pazuzu (dats the demon btw)

Dimmy boi was about to start cryin (he did that a lot, he needs a cuddle) so Merrin our G was trying to think of good plan. He thought about fortnite and how much he luvs it even though it is 1973 and it don’t exist yet. I have a challenge for u Merrin said to Pazuzu. Wat’s dat? Pazuzu in Regan’s body replied, like he did when he saws the holy water dat was actually a tap water. My challenge is for u to dance battle us Merrin said. He forgot he had a dodgy ticker and this would probably make him go bye bye. Very well said Pazuzu.

Daddy Damien went to the corner and started to floss. He was an accomplished flosser and often did it in his tiktok videos. His fave song to do on tiktok was Cannibal. He had many a fan and was part of the hype house with Charli D’amelio. A club remix of tubular bells started playing and Damien flossed a lot while sayin ‘the power of Christ compels you’. It was pretty saucy and Merrin wanted to break his celibacy vows but he knew Dimmy boi was already claimed by Joe Dyer the little pixie. Merrin did the whip and nae nae and then started doin the worm across the floor. The way his elderly priest body rolled on the floor made Damien thirsty for some Robinson’s Refreshed TM. “Good Lord, father, your moves are on fleek” Damien said to Merlin in a posh English accent.

Pazuzu started to do the Best Mates dance like Marlon Webb our G. It looked right creepy kinda like a monkey. Then Merrin realised he had heart problems and fell. Our boy Dimmy was like Noooo and did some really bad CPR even though he was a doctor so should know how to do it. Anyway since this is alternate ending our boi Merrin comes back to life. Damien started twerking in the corner and Pazuzu had a seizure because it was so bad. Pazuzu said fuk this and decided to leave.

Regan woke up and didn’t know who the priesty bois were in her room so she shouted helpppp. Chris ran up the stairs. OMG DID EXORCISM WORK she said. Yeh said Damien. He went to see Joe Dyer who was in a bath of lemon drops that he stole from the mouths of children confessing their sins. He was eating them up even though they had saliva of kids on them, but he didn’t careth cos he wanted lemon drops so bad. Let’s quit priesthood together Joe Joe Damien said. Ok said Joe.

[tyleroakley-obsessed]

Looking for something to do in Memphis this week and weekend? (Halloween weekend!!) Here are a bunch of events, including lots of live music. Don’t forget to check out Halloween/Haunted House/Fall Fest Guide,the Fall Events Guide, the, plus there are a few more things left on the Oktoberfest/Beer Fest Guide. Here’s everything you won’t want to miss in Memphis this weekend and weekend: OCTOBER 24 – 29  To see farther in advance, head to the blog’s calendar. Ongoing – Trivia at Huey’s various locations – Cerrito Trivia & Bingo at multiple locations – Karaoke at multiple locations – Farmers Markets around town – Mid-South Corn Maze (select days) – Heathers: The Musical at The Circuit Playhouse – Dorothy Art Pop Up Shop at 9 N. Main Street – Monster Market Pop Up Shop at 88 N. Main Street (Tue – Sun) – Wicked Ways Haunted House (Wed. – Sun) – Belltower Artisans Kickstart Fundraiser (though 11/9) Many more ongoing installations/gallery exhibitions here. Tuesday, October 24 12 – Breast Cancer Policy Forum at U of Memphis – Rusty Pieces at Railgarten’s Fam Jam – Tunes on the Terrace at Huey’s Cordova – Home Business Workshop at Crowne Plaza East – Hardware Tech Lab Night at I am IT – Life Size Candyland at Fish & Associates – Party in Pink at Chiropractic Memphis – Folk All Y’all with Jackie Vincent at DCA Listening Room – Downtown Yoga at the Park – Dalevis Returns! at Murphy’s – Dave Cousar at Bar DKDC – Elder w/ King Buffalo at the Hi Tone Wednesday, October 25 13 – Sunrise Yoga class at the Dixon – Hip Hop Boy’s Dance Class at Ballet on Wheels – Rusty pieces at Club 152 on Beale – Cocktails for a Cure at Peabody Hotel’s Corner Bar – Midtown Dodgeball Open Play at 820 S. Willett – Margarita Martini Line Dance Wednesday at Memphis Sounds Lounge – Live band Karaoke at Railgarten – British Bingo Wednesdays at Belle Tavern – Bohemian Wednesdays at the Den – DJ Dude Called Rob at Newby’s – Sean Murphy’s 1Breath Quartet at BarDKDC – Elmo & The Shades at Neil’s Music Room – Corey Feldman & the Angels at the Hi Tone – Grizzlies at Mavericks in Dallas at 7:30 p.m. (places to watch here) Thursday, October 26 12 – Ronald McDonald House Radiothon – Breast Cancer Talk at Memphis Library – Front Porch Series: Logan Hanna at Loflin Yard – Rusty Pieces at the Silly Goose – Tiki Thursdays with Turnstyles at Railgarten – Open Mic Night at Brinson’s Downtown – Grizzlies v. Mavericks at FedExForum – Breakaway Running Halloween run/party – Highly Suspect at the New Daisy Theatre – Hocus Pocus Screening at the Rec Room – Halloween Bash feat. Marcella & Her Lovers at Rock ‘n’ Roll Lounge – Thelma & The Sleaze at Bar DKDC All Weekend (check links for exact days and times) 11 – River Arts Fest – Friends of the Library Fall Book Sale – Zoo Boo at the Memphis Zoo – Wicked Ways Haunted House at 160 Cumberland – HauntedWeb of Horrors Haunted House at 2665 S. Perkins – Shelby Forest Trail of Terror/Harvest Fest – Mound City Arkansas Haunted Corn Maze – Shadowlands of Fear at Jones Orchard – Mid-South Haunted Corn Maze – Boos and Booze Haunted Party Bike Pub Crawls downtown – Collage Dance Collective Fall Dance Concerts Friday, October 27 18 – Ronald McDonald House Radiothon – Haunted Happenings at the Woodruff-Fontaine House – Spirits With The Spirits at Elmwood Cemetery – Festival of Fun and Fright at Bob Hailey Athletic Complex in Germantown – Day of the Dead Fiesta at The Columns – The Witch’s Dungeon Halloween Party at 1819 Madison – Whatever Dude’s Halloween Rocktackular at Murphy’s – Memphis Tigers v. Tulane Football game at the Liberty Bowl – Halloween Bash at Young Avenue Deli – South Main Trolley Night – Halloween/River Arts Edition – Memphis Meets Detroit Music Cities Convention at Bar DKDC – Camera at the Hi Tone – G. Alston Restaurant Grand Opening – Fall Fest and Movie in Rossville – Memphis Improv & Sketch Collective Show at Midtown Crossing Grill – Dock Party Concert at Ghost River Taproom – Stereo Joe at Stanley BBQ – Halloween Party at Two Rivers Bookstore Saturday, October 28 29 – Millington Farmer’s Market Fall Festival – Cooper Young Community Farmer’s Market Doogie-BOO-Looza Day at First Congo – Tech Camp Memphis 2017 at FedEx Institute of Technology – Trick or Beer at Mississippi Ale House – United Way Trunk or Treat – Shangri-LaLa Fest at Shangri-La Records – Shop Small Saturday at Ghost River – Rock ‘n’ Romp: It’s Alive! at Memphis Made Brewing – Hatti-Boo Haunted Theater at Hattiloo Theater – Front Porch Series: Jana Misner at Loflin Yard – Poleuminati at Rumba Room – Le Monster! Part Boo Reception at MCA – Memphis Grizzlies v. Houston Rockets at FedExForum – Wiseacre’s Symphonic Soiree at Wiseacre Brewing – Cocktails & Conversations w/ Young Art Patrons at GPAC – Memphis Symphony at the Cannon Center – Halloween Tini-Martin Tasting at D&S Gatherings – John Kilzer at Stanley BBQ – Halloween at Celtic Crossing – Loflin (Grave)yard at Loflin Yard – Elmwood Scandals & Scoundrels Tour  – Adams Family Halloween at Victorian Village – Flick-or-Treat at the Botanic Garden –  Alice in Daisyland Halloween w/ The Crystal Method at the New Daisy – Spaceface Halloween at the Hi-Tone – Rockhaven at Snowden Grove – Frightgarten at Railgarten –  Sinners For Saints III at 345 Madison Ave. Sunday, October 29 9 – Brunch at the BOO-ery + Sunday Evening Slowdown at Ghost River – Brunch Happy Hour and live music in the evening at all the Huey’s – Memphis Symphony Orchestra at GPAC – Front Porch Series: John Paul Keith at Loflin Yard – St. Jude Garden Harvest Dinner – Comfortable Food Festival at Overton Square – Flashback Band at Neil’s – Hell on Earth at Bar DKDC – Goatwhore & 1349 at the Hi Tone Submit your events here. Are you a home owner in Memphis, with a broken garage door? Call ASAP garage door today at 901-461-0385 or checkout http://ift.tt/1B5z3Pc

http://ilovememphisblog.com/2017/10/things-to-do-this-week-weekend-in-memphis/

[dawnajaynes32]

Raise a Glass: Award-Winning Beer Packaging Designs

It’s St. Patty’s Day, and after several years of living in Chicago (the site of this year’s HOW Design Live), I learned that the luckiest holiday of the year is mostly about one thing: drinking beer like a proper Irish person. Even better, research suggests that drinking beer can fuel your creativity.

So sit back, crack open your favorite brew and explore some of these great beer packaging designs. The designs were selected from among the winners of the 2017 International Design Awards (which you can also check out in the latest issue of HOW Magazine) and the PRINT Regional Design Annual (Don’t miss the deadline April 3!).

X Great Beer Packaging Designs

1. 11 Below Brewing

Design Firm Caliber Creative, Dallas; www.calibercreative.com | Creative Team Brandon Murphy, Bret Sano, art directors; Kaitlyn Canfield, designer/copywriter; Kevin Johnson, designer/illustrator; Elena Chudoba, illustrator; Karie Scuiller, account manager | Client 11 Below Brewing | Details Anyone could tell you that the 11 Below Brewing team is infectiously silly—something that Caliber couldn’t help but embrace in their approach to the can designs.

2. CBC 20th Anniversary Rebrand

KLP Designs, Apex, NC; www.klpdesigns.com: Karen Manganillo (creative director/art director/designer), Chris Emerson (illustrator); Carolina Brewing Company (client)

3. Goose Island, Bourbon County Stout

Design Firm VSA Partners, Chicago; www.vsapartners.com | Creative Team Dan Knuckey, Josh Witherspoon, creative directors; Denny Liu, Ian Koenig, Carrie Richardson, designers; Tim White, copywriter | Client Goose Island Beer Company | Details A specially designed neck label with a flaglike tab stakes claim to Goose Island’s pioneering of barrel-aged beers.

4. Indeed Brewing Company Packaging

Design Firm Duffy, Minneapolis; www.duffy.com | Creative Team Joe Duffy, Alan Leusink, creative directors; Cody Petts, designer; Chuck U, illustrator | Client Indeed Brewing Co. | Details Duffy gave the existing identity a refresh, making sure Indeed was seated at the top of the brand food chain while still cheering on the individuality of the beer found inside.

5. L’Espace Public

Design Firm Écorce, Montreal; www.ecorce.ca | Creative Team Karl-Frédéric Anctil , creative director; Xavier Coulombe-Murray, art director; Rafik Andraos, production designer; Sann Sava, Charles Paquin, copywriters; Julie Poulin, artistic director | Client L’Espace Public | Details The microbrewery’s new brand image needed to represent all five master brewers, incorporating their passion for beer and pride in the Montreal district in which they are based.

6. Second Self Packaging Design

Adrenaline, Atlanta; www.adrenalineshot.com: Gina Bleedorn (creative director), Tex Grubbs (art director/designer); Second Self Brewery (client)

7. 3 Floyds Yum Yum Beer Packaging

Zimmer-Design, Louisville, KY; www.zimmer-design.com: Jim Zimmer (creative director/art director/designer), Jessica Zimmer (creative director/art director), Conor Nolan (illustrator); 3 Floyds Brewing Co. (client)

8. Cans for 11 Below Brewing Co.

Caliber Creative, Dallas; www.calibercreative.com: Bret Sano, Brandon Murphy (creative directors), Elena Chudoba, Kevin Johnson, Kaitlyn Canfield, Justin King (designers), Karie Scuiller (account manager); 11 Below Brewing Company (client)

9. The Collective Brewing Project Brett Series

Design Firm Caliber Creative, Dallas; www.calibercreative.com | Creative Team Brandon Murphy, art director/designer/illustrator; Bret Sano, art director; Karie Scuiller, account manager | Printer SixB Labels | Client The Collective Brewing Project | Details The Collective Brewing Project is a self-proclaimed “Frankenmonster” of a brewery in Fort Worth, TX.

10. Flagship Beer Packaging

Design Firm CVD, New Windsor, NY; www.craigvalentinodesign.com | Creative Team Craig Valentino, designer | Client Mill House Brewing Co. | Details Mill House Brewing Co. wanted to convey its brewing philosophy of “art + science” in the design, which supports the idea that the makers are not only creative in their brewing process, but also scientific in their approach.

11. Reasonably Corrupt Can Packaging

DeRouen & Co., Austin, TX; www.derouenco.com: Derrit DeRouen (creative director/art director/designer), Justin Helton, Status Serigraph (illustration); Great Raft Brewing (client)

12. Braxton Brewing Co

Neltner Small Batch, Camp Springs, KY; www.neltnersmallbatch.com: Keith Neltner (creative director/art director/designer/illustrator), Jeff Chambers (writer); Braxton Brewing Company

13. Richard Linklater’s Everybody Wants Some Beer

Helms Workshop, Austin, TX; www.helmsworkshop.com: Christian Helms (creative director/art director), Lauren Dickens, Drew Lakin, Alana Lyons (designers); Alamo Drafthouse, Austin Beerworks (clients)

14. Chapman’s Beer

  Cue Inc., Minneapolis; www.designcue.com: Alan Colvin (creative director), Nick Brue (art director/designer); Cue Inc. (client)

15. Ron Foth Advertising Beer Labels

Ron Foth Advertising, Columbus, OH; www.ronfoth.com: Ron Foth Jr., David Henthorne (creative directors), Nikki Murray, Gene Roy (art directors/designers); Ron Foth Advertising (client)

16. Untamed Brewery

Larry Fulcher, Kansas City, MO; www.larryfulcher.com: Larry Fulcher (creative director/art director/designer); Untamed Brewery (client)

Online Course: Color Theory for Designers

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