#jodie fake nurse

[fernles]

LEAVE YOUR LOVER (LEAVE HIM FOR ME) ––––– CHARLOTTE / MIA

rating: general audiences warning: just the general feeling of anxiety, but nothing major! fandom: the nursery nurse (webseries)

link to the ao3 version of this is here.

★ in which charlotte's old habits die hard, and mia's there to comfort.

Charlotte had never felt such anxiety.

When she was a child, she would constantly bite at the beds of her fingers, leaving them scarred with ridged edges as she attempted to release any nerves that plagued her mind. Of course, as the years went by, she lost the habit and eventually went away completely, her fingernails left alone. Seemingly, it was as if she had found a coping mechanism to use instead of biting her fingernails down to their beds. Well, that was until the whole fiasco with Jodie and Mia went down, and the overwhelming emotions she felt in the room when she unfolded the information revealed bits of her plan that she had to get rid of Mia.

Mia. The guilt churned in her stomach, threatening to spill over. Her thoughts raced; her heart pounded in her ears. It had never been this intense before — not in years. Charlotte couldn't bear to meet anyone's eyes, her gaze fixed on the floor. She tried to listen to the conversation, but emotionally, she was already gone. She had confessed that it was Mia — despite knowing full well that she had filled in the sheet. Charlotte should feel relieved that Mia was potentially getting fired instead of Jodie… So why was she feeling this overwhelming guilt? Why did she feel Mia’s actions were justified and she wasn’t to blame? Why was it that when Charlotte looked at Mia, she could see the whole world in her eyes, reflecting her guilt?

She forced herself to stop, to not think about the potential consequences. She told herself it was pointless, that she wasn’t the one in the spotlight, not the one facing the consequences. But deep down, she knew it was a lie. The future was a vast, uncertain void, and she was the one who had set it in motion. She was the one who had to live with the guilt and the aftermath of her actions, struggling to find a way to rationalise what she had done.

“I’m sorry, Roger, but isn't this serious misconduct? Her name is on here! Laughing at a child's pain,” Marjorie's voice cut through the air, her disgust palpable as she held up the paperwork that Charlotte had filled in.

“Well… Having admitted it, I would say that there is gross misconduct and grounds for dismissal,” Roger said, speaking slowly as though he would regret saying those words aloud. Marjorie exclaimed excitedly, celebrating the successes that they had gotten from getting rid of Mia. Even Autumn managed to crack a smile, and Charlotte’s guilt started to manifest into anxiety as she glanced up from the ground towards Mia, her eyes placed on Mia’s face as though she was trying to commit it to memory as if this would be the last time. But it was only a second before she looked away, back to the same spot on the ground.

“Are you actually firing me, Roger?” Mia said as she crossed her arms, tilting her head towards him.

“Yeah, I’m afraid I have no other choice—”

“That’s right! You’re out of here,” Marjorie interrupted as she crossed her arms, a victory smirk implanted on her face. Charlotte should also have a victory smirk; she should be celebrating; she shouldn’t have this feeling of ‘clouds covering the sun’, left in the cold as her chest heaving slowly. She could already feel her fingers fiddling with each other; it wasn’t long before she would start biting her nails, feeding her anxiety even more.

And it didn’t help when she could feel Mia’s eyes on her. It didn’t help when Charlotte decided to look back at her. She was surprised that Mia even had the guts to look at the person who helped remove her. Charlotte held her gaze, remembering all the attempts she had taken to get here: all the fake flirting, all the parents that Mia protected from Charlotte, and… the fact that she had switched her wedding ring without hesitation. She didn’t think it would impact her as much as it had against her. She fiddled with the ring as if she had manifested herself to do so—feeling its smooth surface and the coldness it gave her for the past three months. It was as if, just for a moment, she felt the warmness of it, but it didn’t come from her husband, but from…

And all Charlotte could do was look away from Mia.

“Excuse me,” Charlotte spoke softly, her voice barely able to be loud enough to disguise itself as confidence. She turned on her heel and went straight towards the door without hesitation. She didn’t think to look back, knowing that if she had, she would confess right there that Mia hadn’t done it. Charlotte continued walking out until she stopped in the middle of the hallway, pausing. Her heart pounded against her chest, loud enough to take over her hearing in her ears.

Slowly, Charlotte felt her fingers overlap each other before she reached up, slowly biting the edges of her fingernails. She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears that appeared as she took deep breaths. It didn’t help when she continued to bite her nails; it brought her back to when she was a child again. The desperation to be held flooded her brain, but she had no one she could reach out to; it had been too long since she felt comfortable.

——–

It had been a few minutes, and Charlotte still stood in the hallway, biting her nails. She wasn’t aware that she was still present in the middle of the corridor, but it was almost an excuse to keep listening to the conversation. She’d caught glimpses of some words, but she knew if she digested the words, nothing would subdue the guilt. It was complex, and she wished it was simple, but nothing was easy for Charlotte, especially not for the past few months.

“Hi, Charlotte,” a familiar voice spoke, catching Charlotte off—guard as she turned around, facing Mia. She blinked, unsure what to say, but she breathed slowly, nibbling on the thumb’s nail. Her eyes almost pleading for any sense of comfort or some familiarity in terms of banter with her, something that would take her mind off the overwhelming sense of guilt, feeling it crawling up her throat, wanting to be free.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to bite all your pretty nails off; it’s okay,” Mia said softly, and her sudden change in voice took aback Charlotte.

For a second, Charlotte was desperate for Mia to be mad, have some frustration, create a vendetta, and feel something to hurt Charlotte. And yet, Mia was soft—spoken, almost looking through a façade of who she was, and Charlotte was surprised. Charlotte’s heart stopped momentarily when Mia reached out to grab her hands away from her mouth and hold them gently in her palms. Charlotte was quiet, afraid to make a sudden move, but her gaze turned to watch Mia’s face.

God, she was so gentle with her that it scared Charlotte. Not because it was from Mia, but because it was from Mia, and she had wanted some contact for so long. It was desperation for gentleness, and Charlotte had craved it for ages. She had never experienced it this way, feeling some recovery from the old habits of biting her fingernails, but now… She craved Mia's gentleness and compassion. She almost wanted to say something, but she was too distracted by how her knuckles were caressed, each touch feeling like a soft kiss against them. A kiss that she craved.

It wasn’t long before Mia pulled her hand away, but it had felt like centuries to Charlotte.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“How can you not be mad? Like… You just lost your job because of me!” Charlotte exclaimed, and Mia shushed softly, reaching out as she touched Charlotte’s arm. Charlotte’s skin shivered at the touch, goosebumps appearing slightly, and she kept looking at Mia.

“Because you finally grew a backbone. Truthfully, I’m happy to have been the one you did it for,” Mia said with a slight chuckle, which supposedly put Charlotte at ease rather than nervous. Maybe it was because Charlotte knew that Mia could tell her the truth or that it was nice to hear that compliment from Mia herself. Sure, it would be nice to get that sort of thing from someone like Marjorie… But it isn’t straightforward. It’s… Different, and Charlotte cannot explain why.

“I don’t understand, you… you’re so nice to me, but I overheard what they just said in the office: You took money from their dad to torment them,” Charlotte said, almost confused about the whole deal, but Mia was reassuring  — a rare moment from a character such as her in previous moments.

“I did, only because I thought I would be getting something in return.”

“What could you have wanted to warrant putting them through that?” Charlotte said as she raised her eyebrow, confused even more. Mia sighed softly as she placed her hands on her hips, and Charlotte waited. She fiddled with her fingers, but the urge to bite her fingernails slowly faded as her gaze softened in vulnerability for Mia.

“Roger promised me that if I did what he told me to and came in between them, he would tell me where my dad was,” Mia spoke, and Charlotte’s eyes widened slightly, surprised at the notion. She went to speak but paused to see if Mia continued. “He walked out on me and my mum when I was just a child.”

“I don’t understand why Reece and Autumn’s dad would know where your dad was?”

“Because my dad ran off with their mum,” Mia said as Charlotte’s eyes fluttered in shock. She took in the information and tried to digest it, running it over her fingers and processing it through her brain. But the more she tried to think about it, the more that nothing strung to mind about anything.

“I always assumed she was—“

“Dead? To Autumn and Reece, she may as well be. They’ve never forgiven her for what she said, but she’s alive and kicking out there right now, swanning around with my father.”

“Wait, so all this time… You’ve just been doing what Reece and Autumn’s dad told you to do? Because… Because he promised you information about your dad?” Charlotte spoke softly as she looked at Mia. Suddenly, she could see past the façade of who Mia was and saw who she was: someone who wanted answers. And Charlotte understood everything. “But… You’ve been doing this for 20 years, why? Why have you carried on for so long?

“Is there a time limit on how long you’d spend looking for a parent? Particularly if you had questions about why they were so comfortable walking out and breaking up a family. Because we both know that Autumn and Reece didn’t grow up in a happy household,” Mia said as she sighed again, crossing her arms across her chest, and Charlotte’s shoulders slumped a little.

“I… What about when you kept breaking up with Reece and getting back with him to try and come between him and Autumn all the time?” Charlotte questioned, and all Mia could do was give a soft laugh — a beautiful sound that warmed Charlotte up; had her husband made her feel this way before? She shook the thought away, but her presence didn’t help either.

“Yeah, well, quite a few times I’d break up with Reece and try and find my dad on my own, but then when I hit a brick wall, I’d come crawling back to Roger and beg him for the details. He’d say he’d only do it if I returned with Reece and got him on a short leash again.”

“So… You were like Roger’s puppet?” Charlotte spoke quietly, her voice cracking slightly, feeling her fingers fiddle with the edges of her fingernails.

“Yeah, that’s why he always got me out of trouble. It was a chance for him to keep me close so I could watch Autumn and Reece for him.”

“Oh my god, what… Wait, does that mean you didn’t want to be with Reece all these years?” Charlotte questioned, and Mia grinned as she rolled her eyes, seemingly amused by the conversation.

“Please, I didn’t want to be with Reece any more than he wanted to be with me. Plus, I don’t know if you noticed… But Reece isn’t exactly my type,” Mia said as her eyes scanned Charlotte and tilted her head to the side, almost as if she was analysing her, waiting to see what she would do. Charlotte’s cheeks started to show a pink tint across, feeling flustered as she looked away to compose herself as subtly as possible. As a force of habit, she reached up, placing her fingernail on her lips, contemplating before she cleared her throat to change the subject.

“Why crash Marjorie’s car? Everyone thought you did that out of jealousy?”

“Hah, God no, it wasn’t out of jealousy; she’s welcome to him. I was just a bit annoyed that day. If Reece is with Marjorie, and he’s not with me, then he’s not on a short leash. I’ve got nothing to offer Roger in exchange for the details of my dad. Crashing Marjorie’s car was me letting off a little rage. I’m a little toxic like that,” Mia said as she ran a hand through her hair, adjusting it as she moved it out of the way.

Charlotte burst out a chuckle by accident in response to the end of her sentence, a sense of friendliness as she stared at Mia, raising one eyebrow. “A little?”

“Okay, a lot,” Mia said, and Charlotte could have sworn she saw her lips tug at a slight smirk (not that Charlotte was watching her lips, no, she wouldn’t. She swears).

“So… What’s going to happen now? Is Roger going to give you the details?”

“No… It’s taken me a long time to realise that he probably never had the details. Going to try to find him on my own. And when I do find him, I have a few questions for Reece and Autumn’s mum, too,” Mia said as she scoffed softly and shook her head, quietly frustrated. Charlotte’s gaze softened as she continued to listen to Mia, knowing full well she could walk away, but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t. “She knew exactly the kind of monster she was leaving her children with when she walked out on them.”

“You… almost sound like you care about them.”

“I did… Once upon a time, Autumn was like a little sister to me, and Reece was like a best friend. Everyone says how awful it was after prom night, but what about me? Sure, they lost each other, but I lost both. All because Roger has his claws dug into me,” Mia spoke, her voice borderline, almost pleading as if she needed someone to understand.

Charlotte took a deep breath, realising that the person in front of her, a person who had tormented two of the Nurseries with chaos, wreaking havoc with relationships and plans for things, all of it, was because she needed things to be recovered. Charlotte’s heart panged at the thought of young Mia being left alone by two people she cared about and continued to have this tear between them for years, all because of what? Because a man couldn’t admit that he didn’t have answers. Charlotte was conflicted between feelings, and as she kept looking towards Mia, all she could do was look into her eyes and piece together the pieces of the woman to understand the coldness balancing the warmth.

“I… I feel confused. You’re acting like you care, but you’ve done atrocious things since you worked here!” Charlotte said, reaching to fidget with her fingers, and Mia slowly tilted her head, her smirk still present.

“Such as?”

“Such as? You just tried to get Jodie fired!”

“Jodie? That baffoon that cannot be left unsupervised around children in case she tries to eat the plastic fruit,” Mia spoke, and she noticed the hesitation from Charlotte and sighed as she folded her arms. “Do you know how many toy apples we’ve had to replace because Jodie keeps eating them all? Ultimately, it got a little too exhausting, and I tried to get rid of her.”

“What about that little boy you would not let sit on a chair?”

“I had a bit of an argument with Roger that morning, so I was in a bad mood. I was trying to pick a fight with a parent.”

“Mia, she punched you!” Charlotte exclaimed with concern.

“I know, really makes you feel alive, doesn’t it?” Mia said, and Charlotte couldn’t help but admit that Mia did have a certain charm about her. There was something sweet about it that was unexplained; certainly, Charlotte did not have the words to describe any of this feeling. Even then, she had noticed that she stopped biting her fingernail a while ago, and… Charlotte had to admit that Mia was a good distraction.

She could feel the guilt she had previously started to subdue quietly the more she understood Mia’s motives for her actions. However, she hadn’t forgotten one thing. Charlotte’s arms stumped to the side, tense momentarily as she folded her arms. “And what about Carly?”

“Ah, you mean when I made—“

“Made her feel embarrassed about her period, yes.”

“… I hate Carly.”

“What! Why?”

“Because? I see way too much of myself in her,” Mia admitted, and Charlotte was astonished at first, shocked, because she didn’t see any similarities between the two. She tried to go through all the possibilities but to no avail.

“Carly is happy, friendly, and bubbly? I’m… Failing to see how you can see yourself in her,” Charlotte admitted, her voice soft to prevent further instigation.

“Yeah. Exactly how I was at that age before Roger got to me,” Mia spoke, and Charlotte’s heart broke. She never thought about how Mia was before all this manipulation, all the emotional blackmailing that Roger had done to Mia all these years. The more that Charlotte looked at Mia, the more she realised that there was an empty shell of who she was, and all Charlotte could do was say nothing. She continued to look at Mia, unsure how to reach out to comfort her and whether Mia even wanted to be comforted, but all she could do was look at Mia.

“She reminds you too much of yourself…” Charlotte whispered after a while.

“It’s not Carly’s fault. It’s just… She holds up a mirror I’d rather not look into,” Mia admitted, and Charlotte nodded for a moment, leaving the silence between them to be a comforting feeling for a moment.

Then, a thought came into Charlotte’s head. A string of words she never thought would be put together for someone such as Mia. She fiddled with her wedding ring, remembering the smoothness of it, the guilt that she previously fought against, the loneliness. All those feelings merged with newfound feelings that were too confusing for Charlotte. But instead of running away from them, she decided that maybe, perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to explore them. All she had to say was four words:

“And what about me?”

Mia was momentarily confused, furrowing her eyebrows inwards as she focused on Charlotte. “I never did anything to hurt you.”

“Exactly, why… Have you been nice to me?” Charlotte said, unaware she was being timid about the situation. Mia paused momentarily before piercing the dots together, a smirk slowly appearing when she concluded what Charlotte had meant.

“You think I had an ulterior motive?”

“Can you blame me? Given everything else I know about you, I was just…” Charlotte sighed as she shrugged her shoulders, and Mia nodded slowly. She was oddly quiet about Charlotte’s question, almost as if there were layers to her, and Charlotte was nervous as her fingers latched on to each other.

“No ulterior motives with you,” Mia said, and Charlotte waited to see if she was lying, but the way her face softened when Mia had spoken, Charlotte believed her, and as she went to say something else, Mia spoke again. “Char, I just like you.”

Charlotte’s body tensed up from using the nickname, but it quickly faded when she realised she liked how Mia said it. She reached up, placing some hair behind her ear, turning away as she felt the warmth on her cheeks again. Charlotte’s mind was racing; plenty of thoughts went through the phases of her brain, none of which she could answer right away.

“But I definitely don’t deserve to have you, so I need to work on that.”

“Mia, you can���t have me, I’m married…” Charlotte said as she looked back to Mia, unaware of what she was saying. Mia’s eyebrow perked up when she heard what Charlotte had said.

“Are you saying if you weren’t… I could have you?” Mia questioned, and all Charlotte could hear was her heart beating fast, the drums in her ears as the pounding overtook her senses. She stared blankly at Mia, her eyes fluttering as her chest heaved slowly. Charlotte couldn’t look away, her fingers still as she processed the question.

The truth was, Charlotte couldn’t say anything out loud, but her thoughts were clear as day. She bit her lip, holding back the words on the tip of her tongue, afraid to confess, knowing that it would become reality when she did. The separation would be real, and Charlotte wasn’t ready yet. She needed more time. But fuck she hated being lonely in an empty house when the kids were over at their dad’s place. Charlotte hated the silence, wishing something to fill that space, someone to hold her in the night to cure the starving touch.

All Mia could do was look at Charlotte up and down with a smile that made Charlotte weak in the knees. “You just said a whole lot without uttering a word. That’s good to know for when I come back,” she said, tilting her head coyly, and Charlotte felt her chest take a sharp inhale.

Charlotte’s head snapped back, facing towards Mia, focusing on her words instead. “What do you mean come back? You can’t come back; you don’t work here anymore?”

And something happened. Charlotte watched Mia tilt her head again before giving one of the warmest smiles that she had ever seen from her—a smile that made Charlotte shudder within her skin. The genuineness was rare, and Charlotte was the one to witness it. “When I come back for you,” Mia spoke softly and turned away as she walked down the corridor.

“Wait, Mia!” Charlotte said as she hurried over to Mia, who turned around to face Charlotte, her facial expression soft. Charlotte knew she had to say something regarding the guilt she felt in her stomach. Otherwise, she couldn’t sleep tonight, her anxiety overtaking her dreams instead. “Why… Why didn’t you say anything in the office about the accident form? All they had to do was look at it and see it was my handwriting.”

“Truthfully, I was so proud of you,” Mia said as she shrugged her shoulders lightly, and Charlotte had to take a deep breath to hold in her thoughts. Hearing the praise did something to her soul; she hadn’t heard it in a while, and Charlotte held it close to her chest. “Plus, I wouldn’t do that to you anyway.”

Charlotte sighed as she gave a slight nod but paused as Mia took one step closer towards Charlotte, making her freeze as if she were a deer in headlights. “But while we’re on the subject of looking at you… If these people you adore so much took the time out of their lives to do that, they’d see what I saw.”

“What are you talking about?” Charlotte said, confused, biting down the anxiety crawling its way up.

“That switching your wedding ring to flirt with me was the closest you’ve come to being brave enough actually to take it off,” Mia said, and Charlotte gasped, her shoulders tense. She looked at Mia, the distance acting as if it held a secret between the two. She could feel her anxiety strike as she started fiddling with her fingers before reaching up to bite her fingernails, but Mia grabbed her hand softly and held them down. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, sweetheart. That’ll be our little secret,” Mia said as her thumb caressed Charlotte’s knuckles once more, giving her the familiar feeling of warmth from Mia’s fingernails before she let go, walking away.

Charlotte watched her walk out the door, standing in the middle of the corridor. She glanced down at her wedding ring; doubts were plaguing her mind, but nothing related to Mia. She glanced up towards the door Mia had exited and waited momentarily to see if she would return; she hoped. Her hand clasped in front of her as she held her fingers together before letting her thumb run over the same knuckles that Mia had done, avoiding the ring, just as Mia had done. It was new; the touch had a new meaning that replaced the bad.

And despite the guilt, the anxiety, and the thoughts that Charlotte had, nothing was on her mind except for the way that Mia had held her. And for the first time in a long time, even since the separation, Charlotte genuinely smiled.

­­

[which-hospital]

A History of Violence Trailer Review

so, the trailer happened…

I just feel a bit like

bros….. (usual ranting below the cut)

I’ll talk about Teddy first because what is the point of this blog at this point, if not to go on about him? I watched through most of it and I was like “wow, he’s not being slutty, this is amazing for me” and then we got to the end and I clocked into the PR job. For some reason, probably projection-related ones, I struggle to believe he’d cheat on someone. But Casualty has deigned that he must and I guess that Holbyverse infidelity is basically a minor moral offence that about 50% of the population of the city must have committed at least once. Still feels especially bad coming from Teddy; hypocrisy you can see from space or whatever I said about “New Romance For Teddy” in that post a while back. Him crying? Great, I’m horrible to my faves and I love all the episodes where he is sad. And Jan’s there for him, so their relationship hasn’t been ruined past the point of no return (which I’m not surprised about, those two were always going to reconcile). If it weren’t for the infidelity, I’d probably be really excited to see what happens next in Casualty and with Teddy but it’s kinda casting a shadow that I need to come to terms with.

Also, I’m a tiny bit convinced Sah might leave/be killed off and I have been for a while. I don’t think I’ve seen a picture of Arin filming in ages but I’ve seen loads of pictures of all the others together, without them. I thought it would be weird for them to fake-leave only to real-leave a couple months later but this trailer has also got me like 👀👀 for reasons I won’t specify because I’ll sound like a conspiracy theorist, I’m probably being silly and I’m not necessarily expecting that Sah will go but I’m definitely considering the possibility.

Brief acknowledgment of FAITH STUFF WILL NEVER BE OVER, WILL IT? Still no comment beyond that.

For all that I don’t enjoy Faith and Iain stuff, it does seem to be related to some Jacob and Iain stuff in the trailer and I’ve really been enjoying their interactions so there’s that. Honestly, Jacob joining the paramedics has made Iain feel like he’s more integrated into the paramedics as a team than he was when it was just him, Jan, Teddy and Sah.

The stuff with Stevie looks really, really good. I’m really excited to see where they go with that.

So does the stuff with Jodie and Max. And Max’s mum is back too! I do wonder if the same issue I’m having with Teddy right now might start to affect Jodie a little but at least she hasn’t got anyone she should be being loyal to. I also enjoy Dylan’s continued involvement in the Max and Jodie stuff.

New characters look great, we’ve heard about Siobhan joining and she looks interesting even if I’m still bitter about Donna, but I think Ngozi is introduced to us by this trailer so that’s exciting (though I do worry a new staff nurse means Ryan, who was slowly growing on me, is leaving). Also, Zoe returning, which is something I feel like we’ve known about forever now.

Brief, but there was Rida and Rash stuff and I hope we’re about to get a sweet romance with no horrors. I guess I love the horrors on some level, or I wouldn’t watch it, but it’s nice to have something pleasant happening in between.

Oh yeah, Charlie’s leaving. That’s the whole big thing. I know it’s a big landmark for the show but I don’t really care.

Overall, I guess I’m looking forward to it being back. The focus seems to be on the Stevie storyline and the Max and Jodie storyline, and at least that hopefully means that the continuation of the Faith Stuff will take a backseat compared to before the break. Teddy… I don’t know. I believed that the questionable things he did before the break made sense for his character, they felt like reasonable developments on his personality even if they weren’t always the writing choices I would’ve made (cough the proposal). But I struggle to believe he’d do this. I think he would have to be really going through it to do something like that, and I guess he has been really going through it, but unless the writers lean into that fact when making him do this, I think I’ll struggle to come to terms with it as part of his character. A real mixed bag of a trailer for me but at least Casualty-typical horrors are still being inflicted on the paramedics, some things never change.

[I recognise that Iain is also THE STRUGGLER right now, but this is how I made it so this is how it stays.]

[nityarawal]

10/8/2024

Jewish Atty Wars

(Close 1 Million Jewish Attys-USA)

Morning Songs

Been Alot Of Jewish

Wars

We Thought They

Were Friends

I Hired Ken Carlsson

At Dr. Judi Milin's

Reccomendation

And Julie Anne Steiger

For Therapy

Now She's At The

Academy

I Felt Played

Told To Fake Acting

Classes

Got Stung By A

Tick At Dennis's

Was It From

The Jewish Neighbor

Larry

Dr. Natalya From

Ukraine Said

She Did Her Best

Scraped Out

The Tick Gave Me

Antibiotics

One Dose Of Ivermectin

After Years Begging

Later

I Got A Cyst

In My Brain

So Her And Nurse Darlene

Quit

And Handed Me

Over To Their Daughter

Melody Gray

She Worked In Pharmaceuticals

Got A Black Mercedes

On A Bribe

Sold Drugs With

All The Street Kids

Hitchhiking

For Rides

Where's Melody

She Knew A

Thing Or Two

She Taught Me

About

Stevia Detox

For Lymes

And Some Spirochetes

Native American

Herbs

She Knew More

Than She Realised

Her Dad Was A

Pilot

Poisoned By

Chemicals

Like So Many Of

Us

I Won't Give Up

On Her

Or My Paralegal

Julia Stratton

Ken Carlsson

And The Attys

Turned Her Into

A Penthouse

Freak Show

The Lawyers

Pushed Bigger

Boobs

If She Wanted

A Divorce

Triple Size

Boning Built In

Uncomfortable

T.I.T.T.S

Targeted Alibis

Ken Carlsson

Enabled Her

Drinking

Passed Her From

Guy To Guy

Throw Her In Rehab

Where Is She

Some State Hospital

Dying

Her X Boyfriend

David Lost His

Finger

I Told Him

From Infection

After His Mother

Died

Pirate Knives

Renaissance Fair

That Was His

Gig

To Sunrise

Warfare

You Took His Finger

You Want His

House

Donna Calavara Was A

Good Woman

His Mother

And Wrote Him

Into The Will

Ken Hawks Our

Homes

Jyoti's Was Just

Sold

Did Her Family Hustle

With Dennis's

Neighbor Larry

Like

After Lydia Abrams

Was Murdered

You Know

Most Beautiful

Estates In Riverside

Sold Wholesale

Passed From Jewish

Atty Ken 2

His Plates Say

And Broker Shane Stewart

Posse Of Brokers

After X Sheriff

Keith Harper

Committed The

Crimes

The Pigs Let Him

Roll In Her Estate

Killed Their Assistant

Jodi Kirkpatrick

I Heard From

A Bro

He's Still Hiring

You Know

And I Reported

Him Last October

Still Waiting

For My Rewards

Three Hundred Thousand

Dollars

Reported

Full Disclosure

Eloning For The

Martians

Football Cheerleaders

Just Went Passe

Still Waiting

For Rewards

I Know We All

Need Elon

To Navigate

The Cosmos

We All Need A

Pilot

We Don't Need

An Atty With

A Porn Addiction

Ken Had His

New Thai Tranny

Tucked Into His

Car

The Old Model

Limped Around

Town

He Tried To Pawn

Her Off

On Another

Atty

Bill Whitman

Who Also Failed

My Case

And Uses My

Friends

For

Massages

With His Ukranian

Twins

Too Old To Work

Too Old To Close

Rob Muir Begged

Him To Help

Too Old To Work

Too Corrupt

What's He Doing

With Innocent

Children

My Dear

Too Old To Work

Like Trumpleberry

Biden Has Good

Advice

And Says No

Business Calls

After Eight

In Elon We Trust

If He Could Just

Get My Kids

Back

To Me

Merci

Peace, Love, Eternally,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

Encinitasbeachhome.com

[copwatch2024]

daniel saulmon with the EX GF he was arrested felony domestic abuse in hawthorne CA 3/22/22

[jodienotmedia]

Fake Nurse Jodie Casillas harasses police officers online for youtube views. She’s a felony stalker who feels terrorized by opinions of her online. 

Jodie bugs her nose into peoples business and then gets Shut DOWN.

Jodie NOT Media tells everyone online that she is a nurse. Numerous people have said she is not employed and is lying about being a nurse. 

Jody like to diagnose people without a license and practices medicine without a license. Jody Casillas claims to be a nurse at a Torrance nursing home. I feel for anyone having to deal with this annoying twat. 

Daniel saulmon dates this Fake Media, Fake Nurse. Thats punishment enough.

[cosmicallyavg]

oh my god??? i watched the first episode of trust me and its literally the most stressful show ive ever watched??? also i have a lot of questions as to how/why she literally just committed identity fraud like that what the heck

[apocalypseornaw]

Keep Me From You

For the square "Temporary amnesia" on @girl-next-door-writes make me feel bingo

Warnings: mention of injury,cursing

Word Count: 10,201

Smidge of angst but lots of fluff

“Dean I’m fine. A few scratches but I’ll be home soon and you’re more than welcome to play nurse” You’d left a few days before to help Claire out on a hunt and had called him to say you were only about an hour out from Lebanon. “So you want me to wear the uniform and all?” he teased and heard you laugh. That was a sound that he’d always loved. “Of course I want the uniform, why would you even ask?” A smile slipped onto his face as hearing just how truly happy you sounded to be coming home to him. He’d never imagined getting this. Someone who really did love him and not only understood the life but lived it as well. “I’ll see you soon sweetheart” “Better be waiting for me at the door….” Your sentence was cut short by the sound of tires squealing then a hard hit. 

Dean knew a wreck when he heard one and his heart fell to his feet “Y/N!” when you didn’t reply he screamed your name again which brought Sam running into the room. “What’s wrong?” Dean was already on his feet grabbing the keys to the impala “Y/N’s been in a wreck. We gotta get to her”

By the time Dean and Sam rolled on scene a passerby had called 911. Multiple cop cars, a couple ambulances and even a fire truck had the night lit brightly. Dean barely stopped the car from rolling before he was jumping out. Your car was on it’s side, the driver door crumpled in. “Y/N!” before he could get close Sam grabbed him along with three of the firemen on scene “Sir! We already got her out! She’s in the ambulance!”

Dean looked to see the ambulance in question pulling away “Is she alive?” The firemen nodded solemnly “She’s in critical condition but she’s alive”  Sam pulled him back towards the impala “C’mon we’ll beat them to the hospital. We know her Dean she’s strong” Sam nodded to the firemen that he had Dean so they headed to finish cleaning up the scene. Dean looked at your car once more before following Sam “If the other driver isn’t in bad shape..I’ll kill em”

------

Sam took the lead to speak with the doctors because by the time they got to the hospital he didn’t really trust Dean to not throw a punch. “Mr Evanson..your sister in law is in critical condition as you were told at the scene. She was hit by a drunk driver that ran a red light. She’s got multiple contusions, a fractured skull and a dislocated shoulder” the fake names had you as Dean’s wife should something like this happen and Eileen as Sam’s. Helped to have insurance and provided a cover story so all of you could get updates on each other should injuries ever occur severe enough to warrant a hospital trip.

Before Sam could open his mouth to ask any questions further about your condition Dean spoke up “Let me guess the bastard that hit her is just fine right?” Sam couldn’t really blame Dean. You were one of his best friends and knowing you made it out of a hunt just fine to turn around and get hurt this severely by an idiot who drank too much and chose to get behind the wheel was more than upsetting. “Mr Evanson I know you’re upset but I assure you we’re doing everything for your wife we can” Sam could tell Dean was doing what he did best which was to lean into anger more than any other emotion so before he could fire off threats to a doctor or worse Sam grabbed his arm then looked back at the doctor “When can we see her?” “As soon as she’s settled into the room I’ll send a nurse out to get both of you”

The moment the doctor stepped away Dean spun around and hit the wall hard enough his fist left a hole in the plaster. “She was talking to me Sam. What if I distracted her? What if she would’ve seen him sooner if she hadn’t been on the phone?” “Dean, don't do that to yourself. This isn’t your fault” It shocked Sam more than anything to see Dean wasn’t trying to hide the tears in his eyes when he faced him “I can’t lose her Sammy” “You won’t. I’m gonna call Eileen and Jody to let them know. She’ll be ok. Let the doctors do what they can then if need be we’ll find other means to help her. She’s strong, she’s a fighter and honestly I think it would take a lot more than a wreck to keep her from your side” “Let’s hope you’re right”

------

A little over an hour passed with Sam and Dean pacing across the waiting room. The other inhabitants of it and staff alike were giving both men a wide berth, Dean even moreso. The air around him was thick with the mixture of anger at you being in this shape and fear at the possibility of losing you.

When a nurse finally walked in and asked “Mr Evanson and brother?” Dean snatched his head up “Over here” she smiled warmly at him “Your wife is out of surgery and stable. Would you and your brother like to see her?” “Please” Dean managed trying to remember it wasn’t this woman’s fault you were hurt.

------

The walk to your room felt longer than anything Dean had even endured. When he walked in to see your still form he could feel his hands ball into fists. You were the single most important person on the face of the earth to him besides Sam. Your head was bandaged, your left shoulder was in a sling and both arms had gauze nearly covering every surface. “When’s she gonna wake up?” Sam asked knowing Dean needed an answer but also knowing his brother wouldn’t be very good at communicating at the moment. 

“That’s a tricky question. It’s really up to her. She’s in stable condition, there’s no bleeding on her brain. Now it’s just up to her body” “Thank you. Can we stay with her a while?” “You both can stay an hour but only one can stay overnight” “Thank you” the nurse walked away and Sam turned back to see Dean was motionless at the foot of your bed.

“Dean?” Sam called jarring him out of his thoughts. “She’s a hunter. I’ve seen her hurt and I’ve known that there was always a possibility of something happening to one of us but she was fine, she was headed home and laughing” Dean had walked up next to your bed and left his fingers barely brush against the leather bracelet tied around your wrist. It was a gris-gris gifted to you by a witch in New Orleans three years before, just a couple months before you and Dean had gotten together actually. 

You’d helped her out and it was supposed to protect you from evil. You hadn’t taken it off since citing that it was a lucky charm too considering you hadn’t gotten seriously injured on a hunt in quite a while. Turned out it only worked on supernatural beings not human actions.  “She’s gonna be ok Dean” Sam repeated as Dean gently took your hand in both of his and sat down in the chair next to the bed before looking up at his little brother “How can you be so sure?” “I’ve seen her fight and I’ve seen how much she loves you. She’s not leaving us like this”

------

The two of them stayed like that for the next hour barely talking, simply watching you breathe. When the hour passed Sam headed back to the bunker while Dean stayed rooted in the chair holding your hand. “Remember when we first met? God I thought you hated me because of my dad..he had a habit of turning people into enemies. I’ve never seen Bobby laugh as hard as talking about the time you backed dad down on a hunt by calling him a washed out jarhead that didn’t know a vampire from a rugaru. Baby you’ve survived so much..you’re stronger than anyone I know” he didn’t even realize he was crying before the droplet hit your hand.

“Please come back to me. I don’t want to do this without you. I love you” he nearly whispered the last part willing you to hear him and open your eyes. 

------

For three days Dean sat at your side. Sam would bring food and clothes. Eileen had of course headed back to Lebanon when she heard what happened and Jody along with all the girls had been in near constant contact. You had so many people behind you but the horrifying reality was it didn’t matter how much backup you had this time. This fight was a solo one.

The nurses and doctors assured him that you were healing. Your body was simply mending itself and keeping you asleep to save energy to do so. He didn’t care about anything they said he needed you awake to see for himself that you were ok.

It was during visitor hours so Eileen was sitting across the room flipping through a magazine while Sam had gone after coffee. The hardest thing for any of them was simply being forced to sit around and wait to see if you’d wake up on your own. Of course Rowena was digging around to see about some spells to help speed up healing but those were a bit fragile and out of her usual wheelhouse which was to cause damage to someone instead of healing them.

“Dean they were out of sugar so I had to put artificial sweetener in yours” Sam spoke from the doorway as he walked into the room. Dean shrugged “I don’t care” Sam shared a look with Eileen when he handed her coffee over. She signed “I’m worried about him” so Sam nodded and mouthed “Me too” before walking over to hold Dean’s coffee out to him. 

Dean took it then looked back at the bed “Why isn’t she awake yet Sammy?” “Head injuries take a little more to heal Dean” Sam offered but knew it was of little solace. All of them wanted nothing more than for you to wake up. Sam walked back over to stand next to Eileen but a movement of your hand had all of them on their feet and next to the bed “Y/N?” Dean spoke first and when you opened your eyes they all shared a sigh of relief “Thank god baby” Dean breathed moving to press a kiss to your lips but you snatched your head away “Dean, what the hell?” 

------

Your head felt like it’d been run over by a truck. You felt like you were drunk and there wasn’t a body part that didn’t hurt.  When you finally forced your eyes open you realized you were in a hospital room. Sam, Dean and Eileen was next to your bed meaning you must have gotten hurt on a hunt but you couldn’t remember how.

“Thank god baby” baby? Did Dean just call you baby? Before you could ask he leaned forward as if to kiss you so you snatched your head away not missing the look on his face as you said “Dean, what the hell?” 

“Y/N? What's the last thing you remember?” Eileen asked stepping closer to the bed while Dean backed away obviously hurt but you weren’t sure why he’d called you baby or tried to kiss you. You were friends yeah but he’d never acted like he had those feelings for you. You realized your head hurt even worse when you tried to think of why he would be hurt but a memory finally came to you of you and Eileen working a shifter case in Austin. “The shifter?” you asked hesitantly and saw her eyes widened.

“Eileen? What’s wrong?” you asked grimacing when you tried to sit up further only to realize your left arm was in a sling. Sam moved to help you and you noticed Dean looking rather lost standing off to the side of the room. She looked over at him sympathetically before finally saying “Y/N that case was over three years ago”

------

 Three years? You’d lost three years worth of memories. Dean had slipped out the room after alerting the Doctor Rhodes you were awake and once Eileen assured Sam she’d stay at your side he went after his brother. You were only half listening to the doctors as they gave a run down of the wreck you’d been in and the injuries you’d received. “Well if you’re saying my brain is fine why the hell do I have a three year gap in my memory?” you knew you were being a bit blunt but given the circumstances you felt it was warranted.

“Mrs Evanson this is common in an injury like yours” the nurse nearest you spoke so you cut your eyes at Eileen silently questioning the name they’d called you. She smiled and touched Doctor Rhodes on the shoulder. When he turned to look at her she motioned to you “Can I have a few moments alone with her before you take her for tests?” he looked back at you then nodded. After he and the nurses finally exited your room giving a warning that transport would be there in twenty to take you down for a cat scan Eileen came over and sat gently on the side of your bed facing you “Ask” You looked around the room eyes settling on Dean’s jacket that he’d left draped over the back of one of the chairs “What have I missed?” she followed your line of sight over her shoulder then smiled sadly before looking back at you “The shifter case was only a month before you and Dean got together” “We’ve been together three years?” you asked making sure you were facing her fully as you spoke. “Yeah. For the insurance he’s listed as your husband and Sam’s listed as mine since me and him have been together two and a half years” 

You felt tears sting your eyes as the realization of why Dean had looked so hurt when you pulled away from him hit you at once “Why don’t I remember? God he must hate me” She covered your right hand with hers lacing your fingers together and the familiarity of that small action bought a smile to your face as she leaned down to look you in the eye before saying “Believe me when I say there is nothing on earth you could do to make that man hate you sweetie. Now I’ll be here when they get you back from the tests but I’m gonna go find him and Sam in the meantime ok?” you nodded not trusting your voice at the moment so she kissed your forehead then nodded to the nurse that had just just stepped into the door before walking out.

------

Eileen found Sam and Dean outside in the parking lot. They were leaned against the side of the impala staring at the entrance of the hospital. When they saw her they both pushed off the car Sam getting to her side first while Dean was a little slower to approach “How is she?” Sam asked and Eileen shrugged “She found out she’s missing three years. How would you be?” Then her eyes drifted over to Dean “She’s afraid you’re gonna hate her because she doesn’t remember being with you” “I could never hate her especially for something that’s not her fault” he quickly replied and she nodded “That’s what I told her but I think you need to be in the room too when she gets back from having her scans done” 

------

You were in short terrified. The scans showed that your skull was healing quite well actually and as far as structural wise your brain was in good shape and according to Doctor Rhodes your memory loss was more than likely temporary. The bad news? In cases like yours those memories could return in a matter of weeks or a matter of years. There was no way to estimate the amount of time it would take from one person to the next.

“When can I go home?” you asked adding in your head the fact that you weren’t exactly sure where home was these days. “In a couple days at this rate and I’d say within two to four weeks you can return to normal life” There was a knock on the door and one of the nurses peeked her head in “Her husband, brother in law and sister in law want to come in” Doctor Rhodes looked back at you so you nodded with a small smile “Do you remind going back over what you’ve told me?”

“Of course” he nodded to the nurse so she stepped back out and a moment later Eileen walked in trailed by Sam then finally Dean “Mr Evanson your wife asked me to go over the findings from her test with the three of you” you barely met Dean’s eyes while he listened to Doctor Rhodes despite the fact that his gaze never left your face. When the doctor mentioned you’d be going home in a couple days if you stayed healing at this rate Dean shared a look with Eileen that you didn’t miss before the three of them thanked the doctor then he excused himself.

“So turns out I was right Dean, you do have the harder head” you tried to tease but heard your voice fall flat at the end. You wanted nothing more to remember the last three years of your life. The three people standing in front of you meant the most to you yet you could only remember so much and apparently now shared your life with one of them but couldn’t so much as remember ever sharing a kiss with him. 

“Y/N..Eileen told me what you said” Dean spoke, stepping closer to the bed. He tapped the bed close to your leg but didn’t touch you “Sweetheart there’s nothing that could make me hate you. I was on the phone with you when the wreck happened. I’ve never been more afraid in my life and just seeing you awake? That’s a win for me” “I want to remember if that helps any Dean.I wish I did because it seems we’re happy” “I’d like to think we are” he replied with a small smile. You moved your leg closer to his hand so he took the hint to gently touch you near your ankle.

“While we’re all here talking..can someone tell me where is home for me?” you asked embarrassed over not being able to remember such a small detail “Um you live at the bunker” Sam answered cutting his eyes at Dean who nodded “You’ve been living there for about two years full time” “Oh then I guess we’re really serious then huh?” your voice was low enough you weren’t exactly sure Dean had heard you until he said “Yeah” meeting your eyes for a second before clearing his throat “Um visitation is over in an hour. I was gonna stay but if that’s weird for you I’m sure Eileen or Sam would” 

“Of course” they both spoke over each other then shared a small smile. Your heart ached seeing the look on Dean’s face at the two of them so in sync while you didn’t remember him. “Maybe Eileen could stay? She can help fill in some blanks since I remember hunting with her last?” you offered and Dean nodded “Of course sweet..Y/N” you noticed how he stopped himself from calling you sweetheart. Christ you’d been friends with Dean for so long. He was the best man you’d ever known but you also knew he had the self worth of a grape and you could only imagine what this was doing to him. “Thank you Dean” you whispered and he smiled slightly “Of course”

------

Dean didn’t really talk much before him and Sam left for the night but he did ask if you wanted him to bring you a change of clothes since the nurse said you could shower with assistance the next morning. “Please” you told him and with a sharp nod he was out of the room. Sam left a quick kiss on Eileen’s lips then one on your forehead before quickly following after him.

You watched the door where they’d disappeared for several seconds before Eileen touched your arm gently and you jumped which pulled a small smile to her face “Are you ok?” she asked so you nodded then turned your head to look at her fully “I was in love with him wasn’t I?” she slowly nodded. You let out a breath then leaned your head back against the pillows before asking “How did that shifter case turn out anyways?” she laughed then went into the story talking and signing what had happened trying to catch you up to speed without overwhelming you.

------

Sam found Dean sitting in the library at one of the long tables around three in the morning. There was a bottle of bourbon in front of him and a glass with a piece of ice watering down what of the brown liquid was in it. “Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, pulling the chair out across from Dean after grabbing himself a glass. Dean cut his eyes up at him “Would you be able to if it was Eileen?” “No” Sam wasn’t even going to attempt to lie, Dean knew him too well. “I don’t want to put any stress on her because she doesn’t remember” 

“You’re not. She knows now that you’re not mad that she doesn’t remember. Give Eileen a little time to ease her into the last few years besides Doctor Rhodes said her memory could be fully back within a couple weeks” “Or a couple years” Dean interrupted which earned him a glare from Sam “If you’ve ever had faith in anything..have faith in Y/N” “What if this is nature’s way of a course correction? She deserves better than me and maybe this is the universe trying to say that” 

Sam reached over and pulled the glass out of Dean’s grip then moved the bottle for good measure before saying “The only thing this says is that assholes shouldn’t drink and drive. She’s coming home in a couple days Dean and the familiar setting may help her memory..Rowena is getting there with the spells especially now that she knows to tweak it to memory wise. We’re gonna get her memory back Dean..we will”  “I hope you’re right Sam, I really do”

------

Today was a big step in the right direction. You were finally checking out the hospital to head home. Eileen had mentioned Cas would be at the bunker when you got there so that meant at least for your physical wounds you could get healed, who knows maybe angel mojo would effect your memory as well? Not likely but it didn’t hurt to hope did it?

When the nurse knocked on the door she smiled to see you were tying your sneakers onto your feet. Eileen had stayed in the room with you while Dean went to pull the impala around to the exit you’d be coming out of. “Must I ride in the wheelchair? I mean I think I’m capable of walking” you asked and she grimaced “Sorry Mrs Evanson it’s hospital policy” Eileen winked at you then teased “Besides you get to ride in style out” riding in style was the collection of get well soon items that had found their way to your room from your friends. The one you liked the best was the little stuffed wolves that Garth and Bess had sent by Donna. The nurses didn’t quite understand the significance of them but you’d seen even a small smile work it’s way onto Dean’s face. Over the next few days though it was only supposed to be the four of you at the bunker well plus Cas. You weren’t being anti-social but you could also only bare so much guilt at a time from not remembering certain things.

Eileen bumped your arm and when you glanced her way she signed “Stop it” “You don’t read minds” you replied and she winked “No but you I can read” you sighed and climbed into the wheelchair while Eileen grabbed the bag carrying your presents. Sam was back at the bunker apparently switching your belongings to a different room. Eileen had let it slip that he offered to do it so Dean wouldn’t have to.

“Take me away” you told the nurse who smiled “I can say you have remained in good spirits the entire time you’ve been here and that bodes quite well for your recovery” you shrugged your good shoulder as she pushed you out the door “I can wallow or deal. I always work better by gritting my teeth and doing what I gotta do regardless”

------

The sun was bright in the sky when you finally were wheeled out of the exit. When Dean saw the three of you he quickly came around to open the passenger door and moved to help you but stopped just sigh of touching you then looked at your face for the ok. When you reached for his hand his whole body seemed to relax slightly “Mrs Evanson you have a follow up for a scan in three weeks but if any new symptoms occur such as headaches, blurry vision, dizziness feel free to come in before and if any pain outside the expected occurs feel free to come back in” 

“She will” Dean and Eileen answered in unison so you shot the nurse a smile “I have a lot of people looking after me. I’ll be fine”

After you were in the passenger seat the nurse waved then headed back inside. Eileen climbed in the backseat behind you and reached up to pat your shoulder reassuringly while Dean walked around to climb in the driver’s seat. “Ready to go?” he asked and you nodded “Let’s get home”

------

You vaguely remembered the internal set up of the bunker. You’d been there a time or two and even stayed the night once but as far as knowing it as well as you should considering how long you’d apparently been calling the bat cave home? You were far from it.

Eileen headed down the stairs first followed by Dean then you walking slowly down. Everything in the map room was pretty much how you remembered it including the angel sitting at the table talking to Sam who smiled when he saw the three of you “Y/N” you pulled him into a hug as best as you could “You’re a sight for sore eyes there Cas” he ducked his head and started to explain “I couldn’t exactly come to the hospital to heal you” “I understand Cas. Just saying it’s good to see you” he nodded then looked to your left arm “Can I?” “Please” you replied with an excited smile.

Cas had healed you before but it was always a bit surreal. He laid his hand palm down on your forehead and you felt the warmth spread throughout your body. You closed your eyes and felt your shoulder stitch itself back and the tender spot in your head from the fractured skull fade to a dull ache then disappeared all together.

When you opened your eyes everyone in the room was staring at you expectantly. You tried to force memories of being with Dean into your mind but they refused to come. You shook your head sadly “Healed me physically” “I’m sorry Y/N. Memory is something different than physical injuries” Cas apologized but you shook your head “No Cas. Thank you. Since the physical part is no longer an issue I can start trying to concentrate on my memory”

You didn’t miss the disappointed look in Dean’s eyes and apparently neither did Eileen because she touched your arm “Y/N why don’t I show you your room?” you smiled appreciatively at her “Sounds good. Cas are you staying?” he shook his head “No I’ve got to get back” you hugged him again “In that case be careful out there and thank you again” 

------

You heard the three guys talking while you let Eileen direct you down the hall and tried to block it out. One worry at a time. She pointed to one door “That’s mine and Sam’s room” then pointed to the next door “This one is empty” the door a little further down the hall she pointed to “Um this is Dean’s room” you swallowed hard at the unadded words which were “Until a few days ago this was your room as well” and followed her down to the room right to Dean’s “This one is yours”

You walked in behind her and looked around the room. You recognized the weapons laid about as your own. That was definitely your jacket tossed across the chair in the corner. A black blanket with red swirls was folded on the foot of the bed. When you touched it she smiled “That’s your blanket you usually want. Dean’s been using it but he got me to wash it and fold it for you” you nodded feeling very much overwhelmed “Um Eileen is it ok if I say I want to be alone?” she nodded “Of course. I’ll be in the library with the boys, your phone is on the charger so if you need me cause you know hollering for me won’t work” you managed a small laugh at that and signed “Thank you” since you know had use of both hands again.

She walked out and shut the door gently behind her. You sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. There was a since of familiarity tugging at you being in the bunker but you weren’t sure if it was true or just the fact of your own desire to remember. After a while you started feeling tired so you laid down across the bed pulling your blanket over you. A small nap wouldn’t hurt then maybe you could wander around a bit after everyone else went to bed.

------

You weren’t sure how long you’d been asleep when you heard a small knock at your door. You sat up smoothing a hand over your head “Yeah?” then kicked yourself when you realized it could be Eileen but the door opened before you could cross over to it and it was Sam standing in your doorway instead “Dean and Eileen ran into town to grab some food and a few other things we needed. I had to convince them both I would check on you” you smiled at that then stepped back so he could come into the room.

He sat down on the chair that your jacket was draped across so you sat down on the foot of the bed right across from him “How is he?” you asked and Sam raised an eyebrow “How are you?”

You sighed “Apparently I am in a stable relationship and can’t remember past being friends. At least Cas could get the wounds on the outside healed?” he nodded then glanced around before rubbing at the back of his neck “He’s ok” “Sam” you warned so he half smiled “He’s blaming himself of course. You were on the phone with him when the wreck happened” “Christ could it get any worse?” you groaned and Sam leaned up to gently touch your leg “Yeah. You could’ve died. We can deal with this. I know we can” you nodded and laid your hand on top of his “Thanks Sam” he smiled “So do you want to check out the rest of the bunker while it’s just the two of us or go back to sleep?”

“Can I sneek a peek in Dean’s room?” he shrugged “Hell why not?” You followed him out into the hall and stopped him right as he put his hand on the door leading into Dean’s room “Are you sure I should?” He nodded “Yeah. It may help” you took a breath and followed him in. The room didn’t look that much different then the one they had moved your things into at first then on second glance the differences popped out to you.

There was your shotgun on the wall underneath Dean’s. A photo of you, him, Eileen and Sam was on the nightstand. A few albums that were clearly your taste in music was next to his radio and there were two sets of headphones instead of one. You walked over slowly and picked up the photo. The boys were sitting on Jody’s couch and from the looks of it had pulled you and Eileen down into their lap probably seconds before the photo was snapped considering you and her were both laughing. “It was the day Alex got into nursing school” Sam explained coming to stand next to you looking over your shoulder at the photo. 

“We all look so happy” you whispered running your fingertips across Dean’s face. “You’ll get your memory back just give it time” he replied and you sighed then sat the photo down “I know. Let’s check out the rest of the bunker so maybe I can have my nerve enough to face Dean by the time they get back”

------

You had made your way into the library by the time Dean and Eileen came back from town. The few times you could remember coming here you’d been impressed by the extensive collection of lore this place held. You trailed your fingers along the spines of the books reading different titles. “I think you’ve read most of the books in here at least once” you heard from behind you and turned to see Dean leaned against the doorway watching you with a small smile on his face.

You sighed and said “Hopefully I’ll actually remember reading them sooner rather than later...well and other things too” the last part you added in a whisper but you saw the way his expression changed “Y/N I don’t care how long it takes I’m not going anywhere. You may not remember the last few years right now but I do, I know this is worth fighting for” “So you don’t blame yourself then?” you asked crossing your arms over your chest and saw the barest hint of a grin pulling at his lips again “Ok that look is too familiar and I’m guessing by you asking me that you’ve talked to Sam while we were gone?”

You nodded “Dean they said a drunk driver hit me. It wasn’t your fault hell if I hadn’t been on the phone with you it could've been a lot before all of you knew what had happened to me.” He nodded slowly “Not like you have always had a habit of kicking my ass if I’m too hard on myself” that made you laugh lightly “Ok that I do remember and yes someone needs to!” 

He nodded back towards the kitchen “We got some food. Eileen tried to remember what your favorite was but couldn’t quite remember so we got a few different things” You smiled “I’m sure I’ll like whatever I’ve never really been picky” the two of you stood there after that staring at each other for a few heartbeats before you heard Sam call yours and Dean’s names “Guessing that’s our cue to come eat?” “Guessing so” 

------

You sat next to Eileen at the table turned halfway towards her so if you said anything she wouldn’t have to turn to read your lips. Sam was sitting across from her and Dean was across from you. You always loved california rolls but now you were simply pushing them around in the little tray. “Not hungry?” Sam asked motioning to your plate. You shrugged “Guess not. Want them?” Eileen reached over before Sam could move “I’ll take them” you laughed at the look on Sam’s face “Snooze ya lose Winchester”

You glanced over at Dean’s plate to see the burger in front of him was barely touched as well “Dean you’re not gonna eat?” he shrugged “Not that hungry” you sighed and drank the last little bit of your lemonade then stood up “I think I’m gonna grab a shower and call it an early night” “If you need anything” Eileen started and you nodded then signed “I know”  Dean glanced up so you smiled “Night Dean” “Night Y/N” “Night Sam” you called over your shoulder before you walked out the kitchen and heard him say “Night” as you stepped into the hall.

------

Everything felt wrong. The bed felt wrong, your clothes felt wrong. There was a gaping hole craving the memories of the last three years and there was nothing you could do. You tossed and turned most of the night until finally calling it.

You dug around and found a thicker pair of socks so you pulled them onto your feet then grabbed the black and red blanket to wrap around your shoulders before stepping out into the hallway. You weren’t sure what part of the bunker you were headed to but you hoped maybe to clear the confusion in your head. The library called to you so you let your feet carry you in that direction.

You walked aimlessly around the rows of books letting your fingers graze some of them. God there was everything from classic literature that book collectors around the world would sell their souls for all the way to books describing just how bad of an idea that would be and why. You ended up not picking a book and instead just pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down.

You smiled when you saw Sam and Dean’s initials carved into the tabletop. It matched where they’d carved their names in the impala back when they were kids. You traced Dean’s initials and seriously considered waking him up to talk but decided against it. Just like you needed time to adjust you were quite certain he needed some time too. One moment he’d been with a woman for three years the next that woman didn’t even have a memory of a shared kiss.

You sighed and pushed away from the table. You had seen a laptop in your room hopefully it wasn’t password protected,maybe you could watch a movie or something.

Within a week and a half of being released from the hospital you were going absolutely stir crazy and what was even worse you knew everyone was sitting out of cases to be there with you.

You walked out of your room after grabbing a shower and headed towards the kitchen. Sam and Eileen were normally up before Dean you’d learned so you were hoping it was just the two of them again. When you walked around the corner you nearly froze in your tracks to see Dean pouring a cup of coffee. He cut his eyes up and almost smiled when he saw you then motioned with the coffee in his hand “Want a cup?” You mentally kicked yourself as a reminder to speak and forced a small smile onto your face “Please” 

He nodded and turned to grab another cup. You stood there not missing the looks Sam and Eileen were sharing while Dean poured the coffee and held the cup out to you. You took it from him letting your fingers barely touch his hand “Thanks Dean” “Sugar’s on the counter and creamer’s in the fridge” he replied with a tight smile then walked over to sit next to Sam.

You couldn’t help but over the conversation between the three of them which consisted of the fact that Donna apparently needed help and that Garth had asked Sam if him and Dean could check in on some strange occurrences. “Why don’t you all go?” you asked turning to face the three of them and repeating yourself in asl for Eileen. “We don’t want to leave you alone” you nodded slowly then said “I have a cell phone. Sam just gave me a new one all set up yesterday. Not to mention I’m in literally one of the safest places on earth. I think I can manage for a day or two. Seriously I feel horrible that I’m keeping all three of you cooped up, go I’ll be fine”

The three of them knew you well enough to know that if you had your mind set on something you were far too stubborn to let it go that easily. Sam and Eileen shared a few hushed words followed by Sam and Dean having a whispering match before Dean finally sighed loudly “Fine! I’ll meet you outside in twenty”

You watched him walk out then glanced at Sam questioningly “What was that about?” “He still doesn’t feel comfortable leaving you but he agreed to go check out Garth’s lead” Eileen looked up from her phone with a grin “I texted Donna that I’ll come help her and she said to tell you and I quote can’t wait till Y/N is back in action. I miss her face” you laughed lightly and said “Well be careful and tell Donna I miss her face too”

------

Sam and Eileen left to go grab what they needed so you wandered back towards your room but stopped when you saw Dean’s bedroom door was open. You knocked lightly on it and half a second later he stepped around it and stopped in his tracks when he realized it was in fact you and not Sam or Eileen. “Y/N..something wrong?” you shook your head “No I was just wondering if maybe I could talk to you just for a second?” 

He stepped to the side and waved a hand into the room “Of course” you walked in and sat in one of the chairs at the small table in his room so he sat across from you. You took a deep breath before saying “Dean..if my memory doesn’t come back” “It will” he cut you off and you couldn’t help but smile at just how certain he sounded “Please let me talk” “Sorry go ahead”

You reached across the table and grabbed his hand. He stared down at your intertwined fingers as you started to speak again “If my memory doesn’t come back and you want to move on there’s no hard feelings” his eyes flew up to yours “Sweetheart I knew you’d hit your head hard but damn I didn’t realize it’d done you that bad” “What?” you asked with a shocked laugh. 

He slowly raised your joined hands up to his mouth before just barely letting his lips brush across your knuckles “Y/N listen to me good here darling....I love you more than I ever dreamt possible. A future for me? Naw I never really thought about it before you but since the moment you first told me you love me I feel like maybe one day I can actually be the man worthy of you. I’m never walking away from you. If it takes two months or twenty years, I’ll still be right here” you had tears in your eyes by the time he’d finished talking “Christ no wonder I’m in love with you. Who would’ve thought Dean Winchester is a romantic at heart” he chuckled before saying “Only for you sweetheart..only for you” 

You pulled your hand from his and saw his face fall slightly before you said “Come home in one piece?” “Nothing could keep me from you” he replied and you had a sense of almost dejavu as if that was something that was said a lot between the two of you but you didn’t want to ask and get his hopes up just for dejavu. 

“Dean..you ready to go?” Sam called from the hall but stopped when he saw the two of you sitting across from each other “Or we can wait. A few minutes wont hurt” you held Dean’s eyes as you said “No Sam, you two need to get going. I’m gonna go see Eileen off” you stood to walk out but stopped to pat Sam’s shoulder “I expect you both back here just the way you’re leaving”

“Bye Dean” “Bye Y/N” you smiled at Sam then headed to tell Eileen your usual parting and wish her a safe hunt.

------

Everyone was due back to the bunker within a few hours so you were currently folding laundry in your room. Things were starting to hold a sense of familiarity to them but you weren’t certain if it was true or if you were simply wanting to remember so badly you were tricking your own brain into saying it remembered when it truly didn’t.

You’d started texting with Jody, Alex and Claire. You felt horrible that you didn’t remember Claire’s girlfriend Kaia or the newest addition to the wayward daughters as you called them Patience but the girls were more than understanding and were wading in little by little to catch you up on any and all memories involving them. 

Your phone chimed from where it sat next to the bed so you walked over to pick it up and saw a text from Sam which read “We’re two hours away and Eileen is an hour out” you smiled knowing everyone was safe and texted back “Make it back in one piece and then I’ll be happy” then sat the phone down and returned to putting your laundry away.

You pulled out one drawer and stopped. Your socks and undergarments were in it but you had a flash of t-shirts being in the top drawer. Must have simply been mistaken. You finished up then headed into the library where you’d been scrolling through news websites to catch up.

------

You must have been invested in the article you were currently reading because when Eileen tapped on your shoulder you jumped. When you looked up she said “You’re a hunter and I scared you!” “You didn’t make any noise! Besides my guard is down in here” she shook her head but laughed “Nice to see you in a good mood” you motioned around “It’s starting to feel like a sense of being at home here” you knew you could confide in her without it reaching Dean and possibly getting his hopes up for nothing.

Her smile grew as she pulled out the chair next to you and sat down “That’s really good news” you and her sat there talking for the next while and were still talking when you heard the bunker door open so you signed “Our boys are home” she smiled and glanced over her shoulder about the time Sam and Dean walked down the stairs but both of your faces fell when you saw the cuts and scratches littering both of their faces.

She was on her feet to Sam’s side and without hesitation you were at Dean’s side before you could even think about it. “What the hell happened?” you asked gently touching the deepest cut that ran right across Dean’s left cheek “Couple witches hexed a couple vamps. Made them a little harder to kill. No big deal sweetheart” he replied flinching slightly as you turned his head to look at the different cuts and you shook your head then glanced at Eileen “You got your idiot cause I’m gonna go patch this one up and call Cas to see when he came come through the heal them” she nodded so you grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him behind you out of the library and down the hall to his bedroom.

------

Dean sat on the side of his bed while you fussed over the cuts on his face and neck. “Did you kill the witches? Because if not I’m gonna find them and shove their damn broomsticks up their asses” you finished cleaning the cuts and stopped when you realized he was staring at you

“What?” he shook his head letting just the barest hint of a smile play on his lips “I love when you’re all fiery” when you dipped your head just enough that hair fell in front of your face he knew that was one of your tells that you’d gotten embarrassed so he reached up to push the hair back gently and felt his heart flip when you actually leaned into his touch “I love everything about you Y/N. I don’t mean to embarrass you or make you feel weird about it since you can’t remember but you patching me up and fussing about me being hurt? It feels normal or normal for us anyways” you covered his hand with your own and smiled “I want us back Dean”

“We’ll get there sweetheart. Rowena said a few more days and a few more continents she should have her hands on everything she needs” you nodded then pulled away from him slowly “I need to put this first aid kit up” he watched you move around and wanted to say something that would make you feel better but really didn’t have an idea as to what to say.

You stopped at the doorway and glanced back at him “Is it weird if I ask you to take me for a ride in the impala?” he shook his head “Not at all. When do you want to go?” your smile pulled one to his own face “Let me grab my jacket” you glanced at his dresser for a second then added “Are your t-shirts in the top drawer?” he looked between you and the dresser then nodded slowly “Yeah..why?” “No reason” you replied then went in search of your jacket and to return the first aid kit to the kitchen.

------

You weren’t sure where Dean was headed but sitting next to him watching him drive felt so natural. You’d known him for years but it was like your heart was remembering even when your brain was refusing to. “Want to pull over or just keep driving? It’s a quarter moon but it’s pretty bright out if you want to park and talk?” he suggested and you nodded “Please”

You watched as he found a pull off and drove back to an open field. When he killed the engine he cut his eyes at you “You coming?” you smiled and climbed out behind him. He walked to the front of the car then sat on the hood leaned back against the windshield so you sat next to him making sure your boots were hanging off the side to not scratch the paint. Thousands of stars were dotted across the sky and although the moon was only a quarter it was bright. You could hear a few crickets far off and a slight breeze was in the air not enough to make it cold but enough to make your jacket comfortable.

You cut your eyes at him twice before he said “You can lean your head over on me Y/N. I won’t bite” “What if I asked you to?” you joked but had another sense of dejavu hit you. He pulled you over onto his chest leaning further back while you got comfortable “You know you said that to me the first night we slept together” he spoke after a moment.

It was the first time he’d actually talked about your relationship. You knew it was because he didn’t want to push your memory. You had your head laying against his chest and could hear his heart beating steadily under you. “Who kissed who first?” you asked and his answering laugh vibrated through your entire body “Believe it or not you kissed me first” you turned to look at him and he shrugged so you asked “Tell me?” 

He nodded and leaned his head back to stare at the night sky “We were fresh off a possession case. Me and Sam had been working it and you rolled through nearby. Eileen was with the twins working a case so you offered to help us. After it was all said and done Sam headed back to the hotel but me and you decided to grab a beer” you hadn’t realized just how much you were hanging onto his every word until he grinned “You’re staring there Y/N” “Oh hush. You’re telling me about our first kiss I get to stare” 

“Fair enough” he replied with a nod then continued “Anyways. We got to the bar, grabbed our drinks and then headed to a corner table. We were talking about the job, the life we live. You were the most beautiful woman in the place and you were sitting there in jeans and one of my flannels since your shirt had gotten torn during the fight and you had a scratch right across the top of your collarbone that flashed when you moved just the right way. I’d been trying to figure out a way to ask you if you’d ever consider being with another hunter for weeks by that point. You got up to grab us another round and I admit I watched your ass while you walked to the bar but you hadn’t even gotten the beer yet when some drunk asshole decided to grab your ass”

“How did that go over?” you asked pretty much already knowing the answer. Dean tilted his head with a hint of a smirk “I may have broken his jaw in a few different places. Luckily the bartender saw everything so she snuck us over the bar and out the back about the time the police were coming in the front. We hightailed it out of there and headed back to the hotel. I walked you to your door even though you were right next to us. You told me you could’ve handled it and at first I thought you were pissed at me for stepping in but then you added that you thought it was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen. You kissed me then asked if I wanted to grab coffee the next morning before we all headed our different directions”

The happiness in Dean’s eyes as he spoke about the two of you made your heart ache. You loved him, that much you were sure of even if you couldn’t remember the details as to why. “Was it just me for you from there on?” you asked and when he looked at you god your heart skipped more than a few beats at the emotion those green eyes held “No one else would’ve stood a chance” you leaned closer to him and just barely let your lips brush against his in a tentative kiss. When he didn’t push you away you deepened it moving closer to him. He groaned into the kiss when your hands slid across his chest coming up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

One of his hands came to grip your thigh closest to him and he gave it a tug pulling you on top of him never breaking the kiss. You straddled his waist breaking from his lips to kiss down his neck. The grip on your hips tightened when you kissed on top of his pulse point “Y/N...sweetheart..baby stop” you froze the moment he said stop and looked at him in confusion “What’s wrong?” he swallowed hard before saying “Don’t get me wrong because fuck I’ve missed kissing you but we can’t do this. Not until you get more of your memory back. The moment you do I promise to keep you in bed for days but for now we can’t”

You nodded and left another quick kiss on his lips before sliding off of him and the hood of the car. He stood up after you and wrapped both arms around you “I love you Y/N” you nodded leaning back against him “I know Dean” the two of you stood there in silence for the longest just enjoying being close to each other until you shivered. “Let’s get back” he said so you nodded with a sigh “Will you watch a movie or something with me when we get back?” he nodded and kissed your cheek “Of course”

You paced across the floor glancing towards the table in the center of the room every now and then. The redhead working over the large silver bowl stopped in the middle of a movement “Y/N..dear I have grown quite fond of you actually but if you don’t stop that incessant pacing I will lock you out until I need you” 

You held your hands up defensively “Sorry Rowena. I guess I’m just nervous” “Understandably but just take a breath” you nodded and sat down at the table across the room. She smiled then went back to her work. You looked up when the door opened and gave a small smile to Eileen “The boys are on their way back” “It’ll be done before they get here” Rowena said not looking up so you repeated it to Eileen who questioned why your eyes got wider.

Eileen sat down next to you and drew you into a conversation about a few hunt years back and that managed to keep your attention until Rowena cleared her throat. The both of you looked up so she waved you over “It’s time” Eileen walked next to you so you gave her hand a small squeeze before stepping over to the table “Give me your hand” Rowena spoke so you held your hand out palm up. She picked up a silver dagger and slid it across your skin. You watched as your blood dripped onto the mixture in the bowl and it glowed a deep silver.

Rowena spoke the incantation of which you only caught half the words because while some was latin the rest was a language you didn’t recognize. After a moment the silver turned to a shimmering black. Rowena dipped a red wine glass into the bowl and held it out “Drink it all” you looked at the liquid and swallowed hard. You’d drank worse before. You looked at Eileen who nodded so you toasted her and Rowena “Here’s to our health ladies” then tipped the entire glass back in one go. “How do you feel?” Eileen asked and you started to say you felt fine then the world took on a fuzzy haze and you felt yourself falling right before your vision went black.

------

“Y/N..wake up..sweetheart” you could hear Dean’s voice and forced your eyes open. “She’s awake” he breathed in relief. You were laying on a makeshift pallet in the armory. “Told you I know what I’m doing” Rowena chastised then crouched down into your view. “Y/N..how do you feel dear?” you looked at Dean before answering Rowena “I feel amazing. I remember everything” you could hear Eileen and Sam both thanking Rowena but your eyes were glued to Dean who whispered “I love you Y/N” you pulled him down into a kiss before whispering “I love you too Dean. Nothing could keep me from you either��

Tagging @girl-next-door-writes for the bingo challenge and @akshi8278 cause it's Dean

[unlostx]

[ Jodie comer  , female, 29 ] Let’s give a warm welcome to one of Sparkwood’s finest, NATASHA ROMANOFF!! Before coming here, SHE/HER once lived on the pages of MARVEL. Though now they currently spend most of their time as a(n) CHILD PROTECTION SOCIAL WORKER . If you ask the townsfolk about what they are like, you will hear that they are FIERCELY PROTECTIVE but also RESENTFUL . If they had a theme song it would be GLORY & GORE-LORDE . Let’s see how their story unravels this time.

Natasha came from a family of four, from the outside they looked like a dream family, but that’s all it was, a fantasy and a facade, one that Natasha wished had never been shattered because it was the happiest time in her life, even if it was all fabricated. She wished she never learned that not only were her parents fake, but her mother had also been a nurse who dreamed of a family of her own but her infertility made it impossible so had kidnapped Natasha when she was a few hours old, and then when Natasha was four and that had moved to Sparkwood she did the same to her younger sister Yelena. But for Natasha her sister was her whole world from the day they brought her home, Natasha became very attached and protective never wanting a bad thing to happen to her, and to this day she still regrets that she didn’t fight harder when they became separated blaming herself until the guilt of it consumed her even though she was only 11 when they were separated.

She remembers the night it happened like it was yesterday, one moment she is in bed with Yelena asleep, next she is hearing loud sounds and flashlights shining in their faces, she remembered her alleged mother being taken away in an ambulance, and the man she believed to be her father being put in handcuffs, she had tried to shield Yelena’s eyes from the scene but she was certain she probably saw most of it despite her efforts to shield her. She remembers sitting in the back of that police car, being in a cold bright room when they tried to explain the situation as best they could to them both, too much for a child to fully grasp, and then by the end, they were taken to a group foster home with hopes of being placed in a home together, but since the state didn’t deem them to be real sisters they didn’t fight for them to be together. Natasha would never forget the sounds of Yelena’s screams as Natasha tried to hold her in her arms the day they took her away.

Losing her sister almost flipped a switch in Natasha’s head, it was like her humanity was taken from her, and her resentment grew more and more each day. Natash had gone through multiple foster homes that wouldn’t last because Natasha made sure she was insufferable, part of her hoping with the tiny shred of hope that Yelena would come back to their original foster home, even once trying to run away and find her even though she had no clue where she was, mostly did it out of desperation. Never having a foster family who wanted to keep her permanently she was in and out of multiple foster homes and foster families until she aged out of the system. That’s when she had started living with a man who she knew from the home, mostly out of convenience for the both of them, it was cheaper to live together, and they formed a relationship out of obligation there was no love there, but Natasha desperate for some form of a family clung to this toxic relationship because it was better than being left behind. 

They tried starting a family at 18 Natasha kind of obsessed with the idea of starting over and forming a new life, even if she was so young, she wanted to do things differently than her Pseudo parents did for her, and Yelena. But after months of trying she decided to see a doctor, and a diagnosis of Endometriosis put a damper on her dream, ending up having to have Ablation surgery, her partner not even showing up to take her home from the hospital, while she was in surgery he had packed all his things and left her behind leaving a pitiful note that this was unfair to him to be with someone who couldn’t give him a family, how truly selfish of him because he didn’t once consider how this made her feel. 

After healing she picked up the pieces and shut out the world, starting school and majoring in social work, knowing not only hard it was personally to be in the foster system but how hard child abuse can affect a child and she wanted to be the person she desperately needed as a child for someone else. She wasn’t sure why, but once she got her degree she moved back to Sparkwood, not sure if it was a delusion that Yelena would be there waiting for her, or that she was searching for a piece of her old life to be there to try and make her shitty life just a bit better. Fully devoting herself to work pushing her own trauma aside to help kids like her and Yelena, she didn’t have much of anyone but herself to rely on, not fond of letting people in assuming they would just be yet another person to leave her behind, and she had gotten her hopes up enough and it was a coping mechanism to protect herself. 

headcannons

She sees Yelena in every child she is helping and it hurts, because the one person she wanted to help the most she let get away and she tries to make up for it, even though in her eyes she won’t get over that she didn’t fight harder for her baby sister. 

She takes kickboxing and martial arts courses, using it as a healthy way to let out her anger and pent-up aggression. 

Very untrusting at first, it takes a lot to break through her barriers to see the real her, but once you’re in she would do anything for you, she goes to hell and back for the ones she loves enough to trust with knowing the real her. 

She is bisexual even if she doesn’t really try for a relationship, hasn’t really been in anything serious since her facade of a relationship at 18. 

Has a tattoo over her heart that says ‘сестра’ with a small sun next to it, when she feels overwhelmed she places her hand over it and thinks about Yelena and it grounds her.

[myinconnelly1]

A Life Unlived: Life Goes On Pt 4

Masterlist / Previous

Word Count: 1708

A/N: Season 4 - 5 good luck don’t murder me  Emily.... don’t fucking murder me; this is the end of Life Goes on

Warnings: smut, themes of cheating, canon gore, angst- oh so much angst, implied character death (canon), misuse of god/goddess from other religions (canon)

June 2009

“Dean?  Where’s Sam?”  Myin asked as she opened the motel room door to see the beaten down hunter.  “Did you find him?  Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,”  Dean said, not moving from the doorway.  I found him, but I was too late.  Myin I failed.  I didn’t stop him.”

“The Devil?”  Myin whispered before pulling Dean in the motel room and hugging him tightly.  “I don’t think you were ever supposed to succeed.

“Fuck destiny!”  Dean shouted causing Myin to let go and take a step back.  “Sorry.  There is more,”  He said quieter.  “The horsemen of the apocalypse came with the devil from Hell.”

“Wait,”  Myin said looking around.  She seemed unphased by the news of the horsemen.  “Where’s Sam?  Is he…”

“He’s alive,”  Dean said realizing the Myin had started crying.  He pulled her against his chest and held her there.  “After killing Lilith I don’t think he thought the other hunters would let him live.  He left, he’s hiding.  Oh,”  Dean pulled a letter from his pocket.  “He gave me this for you,”

“So what now?  Are you going to hide too?”  Myin asked as she put the letter in a drawer by the bed.

“No, I’m going to keep hunting.  I can’t stop now that Lucifer is out in the world free to raise hell,”  Dean flopped unceremoniously onto the motel bed.  “Can I stay here with you?”  He asked quietly as the bed dipped and he rolled next to Myin.

“For as long as you want,”  She replied and kissed his hand before holding it tight to her breast.

Dean would come and go often for hunts, but Myin was flexible with her life.  She had always planned everything out in the past with Jay, and then with Sam.  But now, she wasn’t going to hurt herself by doing things the way she always had before.  She often wondered why Castiel freed her from her agreement with him, and if it had anything to do with her and Dean getting together, but regardless their relationship had been a byproduct of the situation.

Dean would stay with her at the motel when she was working at the hospital and he would come and stay with her and her kids when she was off from work.  They both new that the relationship had been rushed, but neither of them really cared, and both found it very comfortable.  Dean had a way with Dani and Penny that put her mother in law at ease, and their relationship seemed to flourish despite Sam’s non-arrival after his disappearance.

August 25, 2009

“Myin?”  Dean called from the motel room.

“I’m in the bathroom,”  She responded quietly.

“Listen, I know things have been going pretty well for us,”  Dean said sighing and leaning his head against the wall of the bathroom door.  “But I had a dream- Zachariah zapped me to the end of the world, well after the end really.  I have to go… Myin I can’t stay here.  I have to find Sam.  I have to stop him.  I can’t let the Devil win.”

“I understand,”  Myin said, without leaving the bathroom.

“I’ll come back when it’s over.  Please keep the girls safe?”  Dean said before walking out the motel door.

“I’ll keep everyone safe,”  Myin said staring at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test in her hands.  “Well, kiddo, I don’t know what we’re going to do right now, but we will get through this.”

November 2009

“Myin, have you heard from Dean or Sam?”  Castiel asked as his wings fluttered into her office at the hospital.

“Christ, Castiel, you scared me!”  Myin exclaimed from behind her computer.  “Dean or Sam, no I haven’t heard from them in months.  Why?  Are they okay?”

“They went to Ohio, but I haven’t heard from them in a few days and I was hoping they had called you or something.  You and Dean were close last time I saw you,”  the angel said looking at her with a knowing look.

“No, I haven’t talked with them, since Dean’s encounter with Zachariah.  He was supposed to call me when they were safe,”  Myin said looking at a picture of her daughters on her desk.

“Sorry to bother you,”  Castiel said before disappearing.  Myin looked around her office before sitting down to type a letter for her boss.

“I have to leave, you can send me on an extended sabatical or I can resign,”  Myin said as she handed her letter to her supervisor.  “I’m sorry to say that I won’t be able to give you two weeks notice, but everything is in order that this location can run itself for almost a month with very little maintenance from me, and you already knew I was going to be leaving in a few months.”

“I will accept your resignation under the stipulation that you will come back to work for me when you have your affairs in order,”  Her boss said.  “I’ve never had someone that fit in as well as you did.”

“Thank you, I hope to see you soon,”  Myin said exhaling.

It weeks for Myin to track the brothers.  She started in Ohio, after settling things with her mother in law and her daughters, and finally caught up with them in Massachusetts after Christmas.

“Sam?”  Myin asked as she caught him at a bar in a small town called Housatonic.  He was drinking a frozen fruit drink with a look of astonishment and playing with his hair in the mirror behind the bar.  “Sam?” She had to walk over to him and put a hand on his arm to get his attention.

“Oh hey, sorry.  I was uh… distracted,”  He said looking down at her awkwardly.

“Are you and Dean okay?  Castiel was trying to find you, and we were all worried,”  Myin asked trying to get him to look her in the eye.

“Oh yeah we’re fine, totally and completely fine.  No need to worry about anything,”  He said nonchalantly.

“Uh huh, so you and Dean worked things out then?  You’re okay with me and him.  He told you about the baby?”  Myin questioned, finally seeing his eyes.  She knew they weren’t Sam’s.

“Oh yeah, pfftt,”  He threw his hand out to brush off her statement physically.  “Why wouldn’t I be okay with it.  You guys were made for each other,”

“Right,”  Myin said.  “Where’s Sam?”

“What?”  The fake Sam said eyes going wide.  Myin’s phone rang, distracting her from her interrogation.

“I’ll be right back,”  She told fake Sam firmly.  “Don’t leave.”  She walked out of the bar to answer the phone call from Bobby.

“Would you like to do the sex with me?”  Gary asked the beautiful blonde sitting at the bar near him, and was able to convince her to leave with him.

“Shit, Bobby.  I just found Sam what’s up?  What do you mean I need to get out of here?”  Myin said looking around before realizing the uncomfortable feeling she’s had since she got to this town was the same one she would get when her father would cast magic.  “Alright old man, I’m out of here, don’t be so cranky.”

March 2010

~I don’t know what, something just isn’t right.  It was pouring rain as Myin sat in front of her computer messaging an international friend.

~remember how I told you that you worry too much?  Myin scoffed at way that Emily dismissed Myin’s danger.  She couldn’t blame the woman.  She live in a different world, and it wasn’t like Myin could tell her it was all true.  She rubbed her baby bump wondering for the millionth time if Dean was going to call her that night.  But as the hours crept on, she was starting to feel like it wasn’t likely.

~you know that feeling when someone is there but can’t be real?  Myin typed and sent before feeling power unlike she had ever felt.

“I’m taking pity on you mortal.  Normally, I wouldn’t care what happened to someone like you.  But your friend is very dedicated in her prayers,”  A stunning woman of Indian decent stood in Myin motel room.

“Who are you?”  Myin asked as she stood and dropped her laptop on the floor in favor of a pistol.

“Kali, now put that down before you make a mistake,”  The goddess gestured to her firearm.  “The Winchesters are going to face off against the Devil.  Their plan is foolhardy but it’s the only chance they have.”

“Why are you telling me this?”  Myin asked, holding her belly to soothe the squirming child.

“Let’s just say I owed someone a favor, and I didn’t want it to linger.  You need to protect yourself and your children.  Stop looking for the brothers.  And don’t trust any angels.”  She handed Myin a piece of paper with a weird symbol on it.  “Put this up in ever corner of your home and stay there.  Nothing will come inside that isn’t invited.”  Kali glanced at Myin’s computer.  “She’s wrong.  You don’t worry too much.  You should be thankful to have someone like her in your life.”

“Wait what about-”  Myin looked around as the goddess disappeared from her home.  Then flopped onto her couch and pulled the laptop back on to her lap.

~What the correct way to thank a goddess for saving your life?  Myin asked her Hindu specialist.  She needed to give Emily a hug, the woman couldn’t possible know how much she had just saved her neck.

May 2010

Myin stared at the message on her phone as Jody sat and cooed at the new born baby girl.

~We won, I lost.  I won’t be back.  Dean

Myin wasn’t sure how she was going to get back on her feet now that Sam was dead and Dean was gone.  Jody brought the baby over to her to nurse, and Myin cuddled her daughter knowing in her heart this was the safest thing for her child.  If no one knew that her father was a Winchester that was better.

“What are you gonna name her?”  Jody asked sitting down near her.

“Jenny,”  Myin said, keeping her obscure Disney name trend going to keep suspicions low.  “Jenny Connelly.”

@waywardbaby​ @destielhoneybee​ @snffbeebee​ @deangirl7695​ @spnbaby-67​ @maddiepants​ @ladywinchester1967​ @woodworthti666​ @miraclesoflove​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @emilyshurley​​ @akshi8278​​ @mannls​​ @wendibird​​ @bobasheebaby​​​ @theoneandonlymelol​ @chelsea072498​​ @donnaintx​​ @justsomedreaming​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​ @kalesrebellion​​ @prettydeaneyes​​ @emoryhemsworth​ @laphirablack @dontshootmespence​ @its-a-spn-thing​ @vicmc624​ @idreamofplaid​​ @anaelsbrunette​@winchesterxfamilybusiness​ @kickingitwithkirk​​ @wayward-mikaelson​ @electraphyng @mariekoukie6661​ @ @deanwinchesterinthedarktower @katelynw93​

[crazycoke-addict]

Here are some texts and transcript that were handed in court that mentions Depp’s abusive behaviour. These texts were conversation between amber and her mum. Amber and his assistant Stephen. Amber and her publicist Jodi.

It’s been noted by the nurse that she did check on amber. Her lip was bleeding and a chunk of her hair was missing. The nurse also gave amber her medication. I know there are people who are going to say that the texts between Amber and Stephen is fake because Stephen said so even though it was backed by technology experts that the texts were real.

[jodienotmedia]

Jodie casillas is NOT real media. 

Jodie casillas is NOT a Nurse.

Jodie casillas is not a feminist. 

[angelkurenai]

Imagine Dean introducing you, his wife, to Jody and the girls and recounting the way you got together in a rather interesting way.

“This is Jody, and the girls, Alex and Claire, I've told you so much about.”

Dean couldn't fight the bright grin from his lips, or the look of pride from his face. Though it would have been slightly easier compared to the look of absolute love and adoration in his eyes when he glanced at you, arm caringly wrapped around your waist in an attempt to calm you down. It was true that even if you were doing a good job at hiding your nerves from the girls right now, you had not been anywhere near relaxed a couple minutes ago and the case had certainly not changed on the inside.

“Girls-” he motioned to you as he looked at you, no playfulness this time “This is (Y/n), my ex girlfriend.”

“Oh my gosh.” your eyes widened, but no more than the rest of the girls' whose eyebrows also shot up in surprise “Why are you like this? I've told you to stop introducing me to people like that!” you almost squeaked out in embarrassment before turning to the girls with an almost sheepish smile and waved “Hi. I'm his wife.”

It takes a couple seconds for all three of them to realize what's going on before relaxing, with Jody being the first one to laugh a bit while hugging you “Of course. No other woman would have had the patience to put up with him for this long. It's so nice to finally meet you (Y/n).”

“Why don't you say she needs a freakin' award for it better yet?” Claire joked right away, not missing the chance to hug you too “It's great to meet you too, (Y/n). We've heard a lot about you.”

Alex chuckled, following their action “It's good to finally put a face to the name, although I don't know how he got someone like you.”

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed, completely offended “Whose side are you on exactly?”

“Don't worry, you'll survive, honey.” you patted his chest before looking back at the girls “It's so good to meet you all too. Sam and Dean have told me such great things about you, I'm just- I'm just sorry that it had to be almost two years since I got the chance to meet you. What with all those cases that I had to take up on my own I missed every opportunity.”

“Nonsense. You're family and family doesn't have to apologize, especially for something that wasn't up to you. We know what's the most important of all: That you make Dean happy. And now, just come inside already.” Jody shook her head, smiling fondly at you “Dinner is going to be ready in a couple minutes and I'd prefer it not burnt.”

“I could help if-” you started, following them inside but Jody was fast to brush it off.

“Oh no don't even mention it, I've got it under control. Be right back in a couple seconds.”

“Well, we still obviously have to talk about the most important thing of all yet- You got the man to tie the knot huh? That's quiet the achievement there!” Claire said with a grin and you laughed softly.

“You mean that I didn't just run away the second he proposed? Yeah, yeah I don't think I've ever accomplished something bigger!” you grinned “That and putting up with him when he was sixteen too, I think. Trust me, some things never change and this man is the proof. And I've learned to live with it.”

“Takes some real strength.” Alex and Claire both nodded their heads.

“And a really good psychiatrist.” you added, making them double in laughter.

“What a loving wife. Gosh, thank you so much baby.” he rolled his eyes, placing a hand over his heart and faking pain. But you only kissed his cheek, giving him a sweet smile and holding his gaze for a couple seconds before finally speaking.

“No problem at all. It's 100% true.” your words earned laughter from the girls and despite how grumpy Dean wanted to remain, he couldn't fight a smile.

“Ah yes, sweet first love. Is this how you were when you were younger too?” Alex asked with a smirk and Dean laughed.

“Me, maybe there. But her? Oh you bet 100% there! She hasn't changed a bit and ultimately our dynamic hasn't either. I think that's what got us back together.”

“So, you didn't tell us, how did you two meet again? We only know it was during a case.” Claire questioned and you hummed, nodding your head.

“It was. But it was actually after their case was over. I was at the bar he and Sam showed up for a drink. I think-” you smiled “I think remember everything that happened in that moment, especially since we had not seen each other since we were 18.”

You had been sitting comfortably – or as much as you could – on the barstool, nursing your beer in perfect silence. Or at least relative. Because despite the constant noise around you, you had finally managed to gain some silence inside your head and that was more important than anything else. Luck had been with your side after a long time and the hunt, werewolves, had been more than successful very fast.

It didn't seem like luck wanted to stick around for too long though and you should have seen it coming. What you did not see coming nor could ever see, was that when something shifted from the corner of your eyes and it was indeed a person siting on the stool next to you it would have be that man. That's how you refered to him for a long time, couldn't even say his name.

And you were more than certain when you heard his voice. “Is this stool taken?”

“No” it had come out a bit low and a bit muffled too, your face still facing your beer with your chin resting on your palm. To anyone that looked at you they would say you were calm, maybe even a bit bored, but if only they would know what was going on inside your chest. Your heart was going miles per second and the only way to calm it down a bit was to try and convince yourself it wasn't him. It couldn't be.

“And you?” he asked and you could practically hear, not to mention picture, the smirk on his face. One which you happily imagined fading when he didn't respond but was clear as day when he spoke again “I mean, are you taken?”

He sounded so sure, sure that if you looked at him you'd fall right then and there, so sure that he'd like the answer that you couldn't help it.

“Yeah.” you turned to face him “For granted.”

And just like that, within 0.5 seconds you managed to wipe out his smile and get what you wanted.

“Oooh!” both Alex and Claire said at the same time, clasping a hand over their mouth as they tried to stifle their laughter “Burn him!”

“I mean, he left without a single warning. Of course I would.”

“You say that like I had a choice. Would you ever say no to John freaking Winchester? Cause I couldn't.”

“Not the point now. Anyway, yeah, there was no way I was going to make it easy for him to talk to me, let alone try getting back together. And oh he did try, he did try a lot. Only thing I hate is that I didn't give him much more trouble.”

“Come on!” Dean gave you a boyish grin, having seen from miles away after months of hard effort that your defences had started to fall and that the love you had felt all that time ago was still there for the both of you “Is it that hard?”

“Hm” your eyes did a once over before you smirked “Apparently not. It... is not hard. And that's a good thing, cause it won't be. Not for me. Not ever again.”

His lips parted, perplexed for a moment before it dawned on him and he smiled a bit to himself “Well... now at the moment, no. But-” but he stopped when your head snapped back again in his direction and you raised an eyebrow. He shook his head “Come on, (Y/n), I'm serious. You know I want this, you know how much I want you but this is not about what I feel. I've talked in detail-”

“Oh so much detail. Two hours of detail.” you added.

“In detail about how I feel and have felt all this time for you. You know this is about your feelings. And you- you obviously have feelings for me, (Y/n).”

“Yeah, anger!”

“That... is not what I expected to hear. And it hurts. But I'll manage. And I'll keep trying! Because I know you and I know you can't hide anything from m-”

“Oh can't I? Watch me as I wear the least revealing clothes you can think of. Let's see how hard it will then be, Dean!”

“And really? Jokes on her because it didn't work. I always loved seeing her in baggy clothes.” Dean said with a smile full of pride that you couldn't help but nod your head to.

“Yeah and it didn't take long for me to find out either, sadly.”

[suckerfordeansfreckles]

Christmas prompt: hospital worker (doctor, nurse, tech, etc.) falls in love with volunteer who comes in to give presents to children and play songs for them, etc. ❤️ Thank you, lovely, and I hope you are well

MERRY CHRISTMAS/(HOLI)DAYS MY LOVES

Just a New Volunteer (read on AO3)

It’s been five weeks since Dean Winchester first sauntered into Kansas Hospital and charmed his way into every kid’s and nurse’s heart. Actually, he stumbled in here with a blush hard to match, introducing himself as Dean, just a new volunteer, and only afterwards went on to charm everyone.

Five Weeks of Cas feeling unable to not peek into the rooms of his little patients whenever Dean is around, sneaking in to watch for a few stolen seconds how gentle Dean is with the kids. How he doesn’t shy away from games like imaginary tea parties, painting the same fairy tales over and over again, playing Uno with kids that can’t even tell the colors apart. How he doesn’t shy away from their illnesses either, from talking to them about life and health and a possible end.

He’s so patient and sweet and gentle with the kids, and it makes Cas ache for something he can’t quite name. 

The fact that he’s gorgeous and entirely unaware of it doesn’t really help Cas’ growing crush either. He runs his fingers through his dirty-blond hair and bites his lovely pink lips like he has no idea what effects it has on everyone — on Cas, mostly. He sends Cas these lovely smiles, brings him coffee sometimes, asks him about his days. Asks about the kids, whether things got better or maybe worse, what he has to keep in mind and be aware of when he spends time playing with them.

He’s thoughtful and nice and generous and he volunteers to play with sick children like it’s the best thing he could do with his free time.

It is the best thing, in Cas’ humble opinion, but from Dean’s stories about balancing a part-time job at a garage and studying mechanical engineering… Cas isn’t sure he could do all that and volunteer with the enthusiasm and care and patience Dean brings into the hospital every Tuesday and Thursday.

It’s the last Thursday before volunteering will take a break for Christmas, and Cas is already wondering how he will make it through the holidays without Dean’s soft, beaming smiles.

He’s not sure how it even happened, how he fell this quickly for a man he barely knows, but it’s been so easy.

It’s easy again today, when Dean comes in and hands Cas a steaming cup of hot cocoa with a gentle smile.

“Hey there, Doc,” Dean says, as he lets go of the cup that now warms Cas’ hands, fingers brushing Cas’ knuckles.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas answers, raising his cup to take the first sip of perfect warm sweetness. “Thank you for this, it saved my afternoon.”

Dean can only linger for a few more seconds, watching as Cas drinks his cocoa behind the counter. Jody comes by to pick him up and take him to little Sophie’s room for an hour of whatever she feels like playing today. 

Sophie has been doing better during the past few weeks, and Dean has been coming back out of her room a little happier every time he saw her, lately.

It’s the same today, as he wanders out with a soft smile and humming We Wish You A Merry Christmas under his breath. Cas is in the middle of filling out a document for a new admission when Dean comes to a stop in front of him, pulling his soft red pullover down over his hands. 

“Hey,” he mumbles, eyes flitting to Cas, then the countertop between them, and back again. 

“Hello again,” Cas answers, as always, sending Dean a smile. “I guess you’re heading out now?”

Dean just nods, biting his lower lip. “I — Well, I just wanna wish you a Merry Christmas and happy holidays, I guess. Just — I hope you’ll get to spend them with the people you love.”

Cas feels strangely hollow at those words, but manages a rather fake smile anyway. “Well, I’ll be working 24th and 25th. I don’t have anyone waiting for me so I figured I could do the work here and let my colleagues go home to their families.”

Dean’s smile drops, brows pulling together. “Oh, I — I’m sorry. But I’m really glad the kids got you keeping them company during the holidays.”

That makes Cas smile again, and this time it’s a genuine one. “The holidays are a tough time for a lot of them, yeah.” 

“Well,” Dean says, swaying a little on his feet. “Well, then, I won’t keep you from your work any longer, then! Happy holidays, Cas. See you.” 

“Merry Christmas to you too, Dean,” Cas responds, feeling fuzzy both at Dean’s smile and the way he called him by his nickname. Cas. He remembers times when Dean would only call him Mr. Novak, Doctor Novak, Sir.

Dean sends him one last grin, then turns around and leaves. And all the fuzzy feelings leave right with him.

 The following days are a little monotonous, and the sadness that comes with having to spend Christmas in a hospital gets to Cas, too, this year.

 It’s December 24th and getting out of bed and into work was hard today. 

It gets easier when Cas meets the first kids, finds them giddy and excited for Christmas and presents and Santa.

The day flies by, and the evening comes, and Cas’ stomach clenches a little when he thinks about going home alone and finding an empty, cold apartment.

He has an hour left and decides to leave the front desk to Jody and spend the rest of his time filing paperwork in one of their small office rooms.

When there’s a knock on the door behind Cas, he startles hard enough to drop a stack of files.

“Oh god, sorry,” Dean speaks up behind him, and Cas’ heart beats faster just at hearing his voice.

Cas whirls around, smile already stretching on his face. “Dean,” he says, and it sounds a little too breathless.

“Cas,” Dean says, a wide smile on his face. “Hey, sorry to bother you today, but I — Well, I spent the day with my brother and his fiancee and we ate a lot but had all these leftovers, anyway, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how you told me you’d be all alone today and —” he breaks off, takes a deep breath, then looks up at Cas again with wide green eyes. “God, sorry for rambling. I thought I’d bring you some food, maybe. If you want it.”

Cas can watch how the flush spreads over Dean’s cheeks in seconds.

“Dean, that’s—” He feels his heart beat overtime, throat closing up a little. “That’s so sweet of you, thank you so much.”

Dean just blushes impossibly more, the tips of his ears coloring red. “I just thought — you know, I just wanted you to be okay and well-fed.”

And then it suddenly hits Cas, that maybe that’s not how Dean treats just everyone, despite his goodness, his generosity and helpfulness. Dean didn’t come to bring leftovers for Jody, Dean doesn’t bring coffee or cocoa for anyone but Cas. He doesn’t stop to chat for a few minutes with anyone but Cas. Maybe Dean feels as fuzzy as Cas does, and maybe this is Cas’ chance. His one chance to do something about it. So he does.

“I’m off in —” He blurts, breaking off briefly to check his clock. “I’m off in 22 minutes. If you don’t have any plans yet, for the rest of your evening, would you maybe want to join me for dinner tonight? I can’t offer much but —” 

Dean interrupts him before he can even stutter about the lack of food in his house, he steps forward, into Cas’ space, and says: “Yes, I’d love that, Cas.”

 Cas makes it through 22 agonizingly slow minutes of work.

He makes it through 22 minutes, and then he grabs his things and rushes out towards where Dean is supposed to be waiting at the entrance. 

And Dean is waiting, turning towards Cas with a giddy smile when he rushes through the hallway and towards him. And then Cas kind of just crashes into Dean’s arms and buries his face in the crook of his neck.

He thought about it for 22 minutes so now he just does what he’s been dreaming about. He pulls back a little to look into Dean’s eyes and asks, thrilled and maybe a little too blunt: “Can I kiss you, finally?”

And Dean doesn’t respond with words, just laughs softly and then leans in to kiss Cas, soft and gentle and sure. 

When they pull away a little, Dean grabs Cas’ hand, intertwines their fingers and whispers against his lips: “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean,” Cas responds, and then they hurry out towards Dean’s car, towards Cas’ apartment. 

They hurry home.

Tag list: @planetahmane  @justyourordinaryfangirl @winchester-cas @castielinparadise @trxye-sxvxn @runtosleepdreamer    @destielhoneybee  @breathingdestiel @wellofwoes @xxgoldensnowflake @dshelley @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @robotsnchicks @jemariel  @reallyelegantsharkfish  @mellomish  @frecklessaver   @jasminrogue  @skittles-rainbow-cat  @Insecureadult  @fpwoper  @imbiowaresbitch  @destielsangel  @elaspn @didnt-survive-twist-and-shout @mercenarydestiel    @a-pastel-pan   @7faerielights  @kathrinerose  @nerd-litteraire  @wingsandimpalas  @casbean  @miasif @petrichoravellichor @trenchcoatsandfreckles @sleephawhoneedsit @vibraniumarm @youreabadliar @inlovewithsaturn @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @brangaene @all-or-nothing-baby @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @error-name-not-in-this-dimension @elizaeverafter@letofarrell @apieceofurmind @notfunnydean @winchester-ofthe-lord @love-neve-dies @korppikasvo @imafluffyjellybean @carry-on-my-wayward-hunter @mishtho 

[deathsteel]

30 day fanfic challenge

Prompt #22 - Funeral

TW: canonical child death, not as sad as it seems, Dean is kinda a jerk at first

Okay, maybe it wasn’t classy to crash funerals. But Dean had never claimed to be terribly classy. 

What he did claim to be was a great actor who could make himself cry on demand and the proud owner of one very well fitted suit that was perfect for mourning. 

It started by accident, really. Dean had shown up for the funeral of one of his friend’s grandmother’s cousins intending to comfort the grandmother who’d always loved Dean and never forgotten his birthday, not even once. And he had ended up at an unexpectedly decadent funeral for a 98 year old multi-millionaire that happened to be being thrown the day after. Since he’d missed the funeral he’d intended to attend, Dean figured ‘fuck it’ and proceeded to enjoy the expensive free food and murmured condolences of the deceased’s foxy granddaughters. 

The second time he did it may have been less accidental and Dean cried both for Muriel who had died at the ripe old age of 102 as well as for the organic chemistry test he had just bombed. It was so cathartic that he was hooked, a junky even. 

He stopped going on dates because flirting with the widow or widower and coaxing a smile out of them was so much more appealing than sitting through the awkward get-to-know-you conversation of a first date. The emotional release of crying onto a stranger’s shoulder had nothing on getting blackout drunk and Dean found more and more of his social life being spent in funeral homes and cemeteries than in bars. 

Until he accidentally walked into a funeral without doing his research first. Which, typically he did so much research so that he could pull off pretending to be the second cousin once removed or the mentee that the family never knew their loved one had mentored, but today he’d been busy and distraught over getting a rejection letter to his first choice for his doctoral program so he’d just picked out a funeral from a random obit and darted out the door. 

So he wasn’t expecting...this. A funeral for a kid. 

Dean had never gone to a funeral for a kid, something about the grief of a life snuffed out too soon had seemed too raw for Dean to be able to fake. It had felt much more disrespectful to crash those funerals than the ones for people who had lived a long and full and fascinating life. 

It also seemed pretty evident to everyone else in attendance that Dean was in the wrong place. First, he was waaaay over dressed. Everyone else was wearing colorful clothing ranging from Hawaiian shirts to garish tye-dye and Dean’s black on black ensemble stuck out like a sore thumb. Secondly, Dean appeared to be the only one affecting an air of solemnity. In fact, the entire funeral home had been decked out to resemble a circus complete with juggling clowns and a guy making balloon animals. There was popcorn and a cotton candy machine and even a girl in a Hawaiian shirt carrying around a pair of parrots on her shoulders. 

Dean intended to turn on his heel and march right back out, but it looked like some family member was already making their way towards Dean- a tall woman with short brown hair and a face that looked like it was meant to smile, which it was even if her eyes were not.

“Hello there,” The woman said, reaching out to take Dean’s hand and hold it in both of her own. “Thank you so much for coming, I don’t think we got to meet ever. My husband spent the nights at the hospital, so I don’t recognize all of the nurses. I’m Jody, Owen’s mom, thank you for coming.”

“Um, yea, Dean,” he muttered in reply, giving his real name when he never EVER usually did. But he was so caught off guard he didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry about the change in dress code,” Jody said with a laugh, gesturing to the long rainbow plaid dress she was wearing. “Sean said Owen would’ve liked it. He didn’t like for things to be boring, you know?”

Dean nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat as he mentally planned his escape. He was an asshole and this was it, this was the last time he crashed without doing his research first. 

“Well, anyway,” Jody continued, looking over Dean’s shoulder as another few mourners milled into the room. “Please enjoy yourself and have fun.” 

Dean breathed a sigh of relief as the woman moved away, running a hand through his hair as he looked around the room. He’d hang for ten minutes and then duck out so it wouldn’t look so suspicious. 

“You don’t work for the hospital,” A deep voice announced next to Dean causing him to jump and spin guiltily towards the source. 

He found himself face to face with the guy who had been making balloon animals not even five minutes ago. A distant part registered that the man was attractive, like truly unf, but a more sane part of Dean realized that he was about to have his cover blown by a hot dude wearing rainbow suspenders. 

“Uh, yea I do?” Dean asked, trying to convince even himself. 

“No you don’t,” the man said, narrowing his blue eyes at Dean in suspicion. “Because I work at the hospital and I know everyone who ever set foot into Owen Mill’s room and you do not work at the hospital. 

Fuck. 

Dean weighed his options for a long moment before deciding he was well and truly powned. “Listen, dude. I didn’t realize this was a funeral for a kid okay. I don’t normally do this kind of thing. I’m gonna leave, just don’t make a scene okay?” 

“Right,” the other man said slowly, his eyes and voice conveying how very little he bought Dean’s bullshit. “Take that jacket off and give it here. Make sure your phone and stuff are in your jacket.”

“Uh...excuse me?” Dean asked as he reached for the buttons on his suit jacket, loading his keys, wallet, and phone into the pockets before he handed it over to the other man and allowed himself to be led deeper into the room where the funeral was being held. 

“Our nurse who signed up for the dunk tank is sick,” the balloon guy explained, stopping beside a large dunk tank that was situated on a blue tarp in one corner of the room; he patted the tank meaningfully before turning back towards Dean. “You man the dunk tank and I won’t rat you out.”

“What!?” Dean choked, looking at the slightly murky water and then back down at his fairly expensive suit. 

The other man just raised an eyebrow at Dean and stayed silent, his full lips pursing just slightly to hold back what Dean strongly suspected was a triumphant smirk. 

“Ugh okay,” Dean groaned, throwing up his hands as he made his way towards the dunk tank’s ladder and toed off his shoes. “For the kids.”

“Always for the kids,” the other man agreed, moving to the side of the tank where the bullseye was and taking up his role of barker with what Dean felt like was too much enthusiasm. “Dunk the Dummy! Step right up and Dunk the Chump!”

Quiet a few dunks later, Dean was soaked and shivering and vowing that he would never crash another funeral when the other man came back up to him with an apologetic grin and a towel. 

“Thanks,” Dean muttered sarcastically as he took the towel and wrapped it around himself. 

“Maybe you won’t crash any more funerals,” Balloon guy admonished only slightly apologetically. “Seriously, I clocked you as soon as you walked in. And you’re lucky it was me instead of a pissed off parent.”

“You go to a lot of funerals?” Dean asked as he roughed the towel over his dripping hair. 

“Call it a work related hazard,” the other man replied with a grim smile. “But hey, it gave me a reason to learn balloon art and it makes the kids happy when most of the kids I see don’t have much to be happy about.”

Dean nodded in understanding, figuring he’d shove his whole leg in his mouth since his foot had already seemed to take up permanent residence there. “So uh...how did you know this kid anyway?”

“I was his oncologist,” the other man replied evenly, nodding at Dean’s self-recriminating wince. “So yea, man--”

“Dean,” he offered, cutting across the other man because it felt like he owed it to the doctor by that point. 

“Dean,” the man said, with an incline of his head. “I’m Castiel. Just uh, do me a favor. Stop crashing funerals okay? It's pretty damn disrespectful.”

“Absolutely,” Dean promised, crossing his heart with the tip of his index finger. “I’m a changed man, I promise.”

“Great,” Castiel replied, rolling his eyes indulgently. “Have a good day Dean, thanks for coming.”

Dean nodded, handing the other man back the soggy towel in exchange for his jacket and his shoes that he picked up instead of putting them on over his dripping socks. 

“But hey, Dean,” Castiel called as Dean started away. “If you ever want to take another turn at the dunk tank, you can look me up at St. Mary’s.”

“Right,” Dean said with a nod at the other man, turning to leave again before Castiel could see his blush. 

His funeral crashing days were most definitely over, but maybe his tank dunking days had just begun.

[nickelkeep]

Last Goodbye

Pairing: Past Gabriel/Sam Rating: Teen Word Count: 1400 Warnings: Brief Suicidal Thought. This is pure angst. There is no happy ending. Written For: @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover​‘s @angsty-angstweek​ On Ao3

Sam didn't know that he was being followed. Gabriel made sure of it. Despite Castiel figuring out quickly that he was still alive, Gabriel begged and pleaded with him to not tell Sam. He caused enough issues in Sam's life, coming back from faked deaths. Gabriel didn't want to interrupt Sam's life yet again.

Gabriel figured he could pull enough strings from behind the scenes. He was already under Billie's command, brought back for the sole purpose of making an army to take down his father. So Gabriel knew there would be no harm in doing a little more and making sure Sam thrived. They were waiting for the opportune time to strike anyway. Billie may have been a little terse with him when he juiced up Eileen. She needed to make contact with Sam faster, as far as Gabriel was concerned. But he honestly did it for Sam, not for Billie's insane war. Sam needed something - someone - good in his life. Even if it wasn't him. Not anymore.

The archangel closed his eyes and listened to the world around him. So many people were completely unaware of what was going on. Of the horrors and the monstrosities that surrounded them. They knew nothing of what Heaven and Hell were actually like. They had no idea of what the Empty was like. Gabriel exhaled abruptly through his nose. In reality, the best-case scenario would be him dying in during the battle and going back to the Empty.

The problem was that the Shadow of the Empty wasn't allowed to touch him. Not yet. Not until Death had done her part and reaped God Himself. Billie laid down the law that anyone released - or who had escaped from - the Empty were to be sent right back to Earth. Despite his father running amok, trying to destroy his own sandbox, Gabriel was almost invulnerable. He could still be stabbed with an Archangel blade, if anyone had one, but that gooey son-of-a-bitch was in direct orders to send him right back.

A flash of light grabbed Gabriel's attention, and he carefully watched Sam out of the corner of his eye. They were both sitting outside, Sam drinking a coffee while looking over something for a hunt. Gabriel sat in his own seat a few tables away and nursed hot chocolate while attempting to spy and eavesdrop. Sam had pulled out his phone and hesitated before dialing. Once sure that Sam wasn't in danger or suffering, Gabriel allowed his mind to drift off.

Gabriel honestly didn't mind the idea of returning to the Empty. No thoughts, no connections, just nothing. There was a little fear that shivered through him, but his heart - what counts for his heart anyway - craved it. None of this pining for Sam that no amount of lovers or candy could ever help him get over.

A part of him was ashamed for wanting it, not that he would ever admit it aloud. How many angels and demons and beasts would wish to be revived if given the opportunity? Besides, Gabriel had been in the Empty before, he should be grateful for the sun kissing his skin.

If he looked back at the time of nothing? The eternal sleep after the other Michael killed him? Not even his own grace and wavelength, but the one from the world where Sam never existed? He never got the chance to get to know Jack or to tease Dean and Cas for being idiots. He never got to tell Sam goodbye.

"Gabriel?"

Gabriel shot to attention, hoping he hadn't brought too much attention to himself. Sam's voice flowed through him, not at him. He mentally checked himself, his glamour was still in place, and there were no other angels around to out him.

"Gabe, I know you're gone. I know that you can’t hear me."

Gabriel sat up a little straighter. He'd been back for a few weeks now, but this was the first time he'd heard Sam. It made Gabriel wonder how often Sam had prayed to him like this?

"I know this is pointless every time I do it, but I don't know what else to do." Gabriel could have sworn that he heard Sam's breath shudder as he exhaled. "I'm lost."

Gabriel fought the urge to go and envelop Sam in his arms, settling instead for a glance.

"I know we're fighting a losing battle. The things… the things that Chuck showed me? Between glimpses of other universes and the future if Cas and Dean had been successful in trapping him? What are we fighting for?" Sam bit his lip and looked around before continuing his silent litany. "What am I fighting for?"

Gabriel contemplated trying to block Sam out. These prayers were supposed to be private, and Sam thought he was praying to a dead angel. There was no way that he would have said them if he knew Gabriel was alive.

"Rowena's gone, ruling over Hell. She's a goddamned queen, and she knows it. You'd be so proud of her. And Eileen? After what Chuck did? After he confirmed that he manipulated me into bringing her back to life?" Sam went silent and Gabriel stole another glance. He watched as Sam wiped at his eyes. "I've lost or am losing everyone I've ever loved."

Gabriel whispered into the wind, "You still have Dean and Cas and your friends."

"I swear, I don't know why I do this. I can almost hear you telling me that I have Dean and Cas, and Jody and Donna, and the girls…" Sam sobbed out a laugh and kept praying. "And this is the part where I would tell you–"

"–That's not what I meant and you know it." Gabriel finished the sentence with him.

Sam ran his fingers through his hair, and Gabriel imagined the fingers being his. He pictured himself massaging Sam's scalp, lightly tugging any knots out of the locks. He remembered kissing the top of Sam's head as he twisted braids into his hair, Sam patiently humoring him.

"Gabe, I'd give anything to have you back." Gabriel looked over at Sam, the tears running down his face as he spoke. "I'd do anything to just see you one more time."

Gabriel almost gave in. He almost stood up from his seat. He almost walked across the outside bistro to wrap his arms around Sam. Billie nor the Shadow had said that he couldn't reveal himself to the Winchesters. But Gabriel couldn't put Sam through the pain again. Gabriel couldn't fight away Billie and the Shadow forever.

"I need something, Gabe. Something more." Sam pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I wish I hadn't gone to the portal like you commanded. I wish… I wish that instead of being angry with you, that I had said 'I love you.’"

Gabriel inhaled deeply. "I know, Sammy. I knew how much you loved me – still love me – and I wish that I could be with you."

"Dammit, Gabe, why does it feel like you're here?" Sam picked up his napkin and blew his nose. "Out of all the times I've prayed to you in the past two years… Fuck, for all I know, it's Chuck trying to kick me while I'm down."

Gabriel paused with realization and cursed his father's name. Sam, his Sam, had lost hope. The one who always found hope, even in the bleakest of situations, had given up. The urge to hold him, to tell Sam that he had an army behind him, rose up stronger.

"You know you can't, Gabriel." Billie sat across the table from him.

"You never said I couldn't reveal myself to him."

"Figured you were smart enough to know the consequences if you do." Billie looked at Sam, who was oblivious to her presence. "And I know you don't want to hurt him."

Gabriel paused for a moment and looked at Sam. "I just need…"

"I know, Gabriel. Be smart about it." Gabriel turned back to where Billie sat, to find the spot vacant.

"Fuck you, Billie." Gabriel took a deep breath. He knew that Billie was right. Gabriel closed his eyes and recounted the last few things Sam had prayed during his brief exchange with Death. He looped the images in his own mind, replaying Sam's memories. Sam had seen horrible things in the future where they had trapped Chuck. Gabriel composed himself and whispered one last time into the wind. "Sam, believe in what you see, in what you feel. God can't control your emotions." He watched Sam from his seat. "Know that I'll always love you, Samshine. Even in Death."

Sam sobbed openly at Gabriel's last proclamation. "I love you too, Gabriel.”

[selenitawars]

Ghost

Never Be The Same - Part 6.

Pairing: Sam x Daughter!Reader, Dean x Niece!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader, Sam x OC.

Summary: To save Dean’s life, Sam changes a big part of his past, hoping that he’d only forget memories with his college girlfriend. But, not only he changes his life, he also creates a new one.

Word Count: 2380.

Warnings: None.

A/N: Hey, after months I finally took a deep breath and decided to post this. Actually, I have this part written for like six or seven months. Somehow I was not motivated. Anyway, here it is and hopefully I’ll write more. Please let me know your opinions.

Sam knocked at your door and had no answer, he opened it and you were not at your bed or any other place of the bedroom. He couldn't help but walk inside and sit, hoping that energy he felt inside the place would help him talking to you somehow. "Hey, don't forget. Make sure you'll..."

"Sam, don't worry. We'll be safe, really."

"You can't be sure of that."

"I can, believe me. Trust me, she'll be fine. You just keep doing your thing and I'll keep doing mine."

"And what's your thing?" He said joking.

"You will know when you're ready." She sounded ironic, but she was serious. "I'll make sure the house is protected and that our girl will have everything she needs. Including, godparents."

"Sure. Whatever you want."

"Good. So, talk to Dean."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. Do you have any other suggestions?"

"I don't know if he'll accept it."

"Trust me, he will."

She just knew it.

"Castiel." You called the angel who turned around to you at the hallway. "You heard me?"

"I did. Why haven't you..."

"I'll, okay?" You interrupted. "He seemed worried and I didn't want to make everything worse." You were both screaming and shushing at each other.

"You will if you don't tell them soon. Y/N, if you know us, you must know this is not a good idea."

"You're right. I just don't know how to say it."

"Well, then draw it." You rolled your eyes. "I won't tell them." You relesed a breath of relief. "...For now."

"But..."

"No buts! You were the one who started telling it so you finish."

"It's no that easy."

"There's no reason for you to be afraid, but if you keep scrolling like that you'll have a reason to worry." He left the hallway, leaving you with a lot of doubts and alone in the middle of the bunker. You didn't even walked before your brain started overthinking. Obviously, Cass was right, but at the same time you still had that feeling of emptiness in you, and spitting everything out wouldn't make the situation better. "Y/N" You turned around and saw the tall guy. "Can I talk to you?" You stayed quiet, trying to focus in the present again.

"Yes."

"I went to your room, you weren't there." You started walking in his direction. "Dean talked to you, didn't he?" He thought it was strange at first.

"Yes, he did. Did he talk to you?"

"Not actually." You paused. "Though he asked me if he calls me Hurricane." You commented confuse. Your father understood Dean better than you did.

"I wanna show you something, come here." You followed him into his bedroom.

"I think he asked you that," he said opening the door and coming in "because that's how he called you before you were born."

"Really?" How come you never knew this?

"Yes. I think it's because you came into us in a time of crisis." He turned to you. Now, you were inside.

"For us, every day is a time of crisis." He grabbed a frame and gave it to you. You looked at it and there was a photo of you wearing one of his flannels and considering the difference between you guys, it could fit two of you in it. Still, you looked good wearing them. You were wearing high-waisted jeans shorts and a short-toned boot. "You look good in it, you know."

"Thanks." You said still looking down. Then, there was a weird moment of silence.

"Look at this." You looked up and he was holding his smartphone in his hand. "It just suddenly appeared." He was being so nice. Sometimes you wandered if you were nice to him like he was to you. You looked at the screen and saw pictures of you two together, you and Dean, Cass, Mary, Jodie, Claire and even Crowley.

"That's interesting." You tried smiling, but he realized it was a fake one.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Just not very surprised, the same thing happened to me."

"Photos appeared?"

"Disappeared. Numbers too." He nodded and invited you to sit by his side when he did it.

"Tell me, how are you feeling?" You looked at him and saw in his eyes that he was truly trying to make you feel better.

"I'm normal, I guess. Every day is a day of crisis but this is the first time something ends up affecting me like this."

"I've been through many things and I know one thing I'm sure of is that I don't want it to others to feel the same."

"I know." You know. And then it hits him again, you know him and he doesn't know you. So he has to try, he needs to. He owes her that. When he found out he was doing the parenting thing without your mother, his world fell apart. They always wanted a good life with their own family and even if you came before expected, before they had their house or finished college, it was a blessing. They wanted their family and you meant they were half way there, just needed to solve a couple of problems and everything would be different, perfect as it sounded. "Vanessa? Hi." He answered the phone anxious.

"I'm sorry we couldn't call you before, Sam is just..." She stopped, took a deep breath. "She's here." She said happy. His heart started to accelerate. He was sad he couldn't be with you mother in the labor but you were born, and that was enough. Soon he would be holding you in his arms. "She is perfect and she looks so much like you two." He was jumping of happiness inside, his smile was the biggest and the tears of joy in his eyes made Dean create some while in front of him too. "Cams named her Y/N." By the sound you yours Godmother's voice, she was smiling. "Y/N Maria Winchester." A tear went down his face. He knew she chose it because of your grandmother.

"I love it." He was breathing heavy. "Where is Camila? How is she? Is she tired?" Vanessa stayed quiet. "Vanessa?" She sniffed. "Vanessa, let me talk to her. What's going on?" Now your father was again, worried and Dean confused. He listened carefully to the words of his lover's best friend. She explained the same thing the doctors did. She had so much pain in her, she hated being the one with the bad news. Your father saw so many different kinds of scenarios of different moments. His heart was still beating fast, but now, not filled as before. The silent tears coming down his eyes were too much for Dean to watch, he was getting desperate. "Thanks Van, I appreciate everything you've done. Don't worry and please, call me if you need anything. Keep me updated." He said barely standing up. At that moment his weight was too much for himself.

"Take your time, I'll take care of everything. Call me."

"I will." Then, the conversation was over. He leaned back at the Impala.

"So, how's the little hurricane?" Dean asked sitting by his brother's side. "Sammy?" He was so scared by the expression he was seeing in Sam's face.

"Y/N." Was the only thing he could say. "That's the name Cams gave her, Y/N Maria Winchester."

"I love it." Dean was happy, but still worried as hell. Sam stayed quiet for a little bit. And then he couldn't handle anymore, he cried.

"She's gone, Dean. Camila is gone." He said with a trembling voice. "She died a little after labor." It was very fast. You were born and your mother felt the biggest happiness of her life when she saw you. Minutes later she was holding you in her arms. She new not everything was fine and the labor was not easy, but she already trusted you more than anything. So she said the words she needed before giving you back to the nurse. "Hey, sweetheart." She said crying, but with the biggest smile on her face. "I knew it. I knew you would look like Y/N." You were still a newborn, but she could clearly see how much you looked like your father and herself. "You're more strong than you can think, my girl. More powerful than you can imagine. You're blessed." There was only a doctor far from her and Vanessa waiting a little closer. "Your father will take care of you and you have to promise me you'll take care of him for me." She looked at you a little more. "I love you. I love you both." She held you for as long as she could. "Qui affecto protego, / mixtisque iubas serpentibus et posteris meis stirpique meae domum meam, / et deducet me ruunt momenta ut potest iactare servate innoxias." She said quietly while holding you close, crying and smiling. Praying for you. The doctor took you seconds after that and she told the doctor your name, making sure it would be this one. Your mother stayed with her best friend, recovering. She made herself stop the crying and just held a lot of tears for as much as she could. She had to be strong for you and all the ones who loved you too. Camila was thinking straight and had to say everything before it was too late. Her feelings were so many, but she was a mother now. Nothing could ever stay in her way. "Vanessa, give my necklace to her. Make sure she keeps it with her, always."

"Cams..." She started.

"It's hers now. Teach her everything you can and tell Sam about it. It has to be you. She needs her Godmother." Vanessa nodded. While she talked, she felt worried, bad and good, happy and sad. She was realistic and faced her fate fearless. She lost too much blood during the labor and after it. Was something unpredictable, and it doesn't happen often. But, she was in a risked age - women in their twenties have more chances of complications during the labors, especially the first. Sam understood that, everyone did, she did and you did too. Camila knew she would die in that day, but she also knew you were coming. "There was no way we could know it." Sam finished explain to Dean, who had tears in his eyes. "It must have been so hard for her and I..." He breathed between his cry. "I wasn't there." He stared at the floor, feeling so much pain and anger of fate, of death itself. Why now? Of all the people, places, moments, hours and ways. Why did it have to be like that? Besides that, he was so worried and terrified. At the same time you were all the light he had, all the hope he felt, he was afraid of his mission. "What am I gonna do, Dean?" He turned to his big brother. Dean just listened and gave him lots of minutes to feel, while he felt deeply sad too.

"I bet she's so pretty." Dean broke the silence. "She is cute, for sure. But she's lucky to have both of you in her. Can't wait to see your great job with her. Count me in, Sammy. Always." Now, somehow, Sam was so scared that not even the support Dean and Cass gave to him were stopping him from being so worried with you and how to act around you. He felt like every single thing he did or decided could affect you in a very bad way. "Sam, I need to tell you something." You started and got up from his bed.

"Sure." He said a little nervous.

"In my reality, Vanessa told you this. But, now I'm guessing you still have no idea."

"Your mother's best friend, right?" You nodded and took a deep breath, kind of scared of speaking.

"Camila had this thing, she called sensibility. She never actually told you about it, but thanks to this gift she knew ever since she met you, that you were a hunter." Your father just payed attention. "The truth is, we come from gypsies who apparently had very powerful connections with... this world."

"Ok..." He was speechless, waiting for you to finish it.

"I lied to you, I'm sorry." He looked worried and opened his eyes even more, but tried to make sure you stayed calm. "I don't have powers only because of you." You paused. "This thing, passed to me and I have some witch abilities. But, don't freak out, I really don't use them."

"How do you know you have it?"

"It's kinda obvious."

"That you are familiar with spells?" He was worried and a little upset, but he understood you. So, he sounded soft, even if this was a surprise to him about Camila.

"I wasn't born familiar with them, I studied them in your books. I thought that, at least, it was safer if I knew a little bit about what I was doing."

"But why? If you don't use them, why you needed to know this? How is it obvious?" He was trying to understand not just you, but how he allowed you to be so deep in his world.

"Like I said, it's like a sensibility. I just guess some stuff and..." You decided to stop and sit by his side. "I never used a spell. Not once, I swear." He took a deep breath and looked at you, feeling again that endless love he couldn't explain.

"I believe you." That felt comforting for both of you. "Now, how are you for real?" You focused on the fact that he was your father, and soon or later you had to let the guard down.

"Ironically, I feel like a ghost."

"You're not a ghost." He assured you, but you felt like you finally understood the desperate in them. "Ghosts are lost and you are not, okay? You are home." The bunker never let you doubt it. But now, it was complete. So, you nodded with a sad look.

"Can I hug you?" Before you finished the question he opened his arms himself and you finally felt again how was like not being totally alone. "Thanks."

Next.