#jobdyssey

[kuwdora]

burnout sucks. trying to get medical help in the US fucking sucks. capitalism sucks.

but I managed to get lucky and land a great contract job to see me thru the rest of the year. so I have a temporary reprieve from my jobdyssey. the relief is immense. I hate how immense it is because of capitalism, but the relief sits on top of my burnout. but it really has a refreshing quality to it. I get to learn some new job ropes and stay busy and have money for awhile. I also managed to fucking army crawl through bureaucracy and phone trees to try and get a doctors appointment. finally saw a doctor who listened to me and believed me and I feel like I got a unicorn psych who was so thoroughly engaged in listening and helping me, I almost thought I was dreaming. I gotta say gettin' that ADHD diagnosis finally and medication has been nothing short of lifechanging. so after all this agony of the last year and few years (on top of more agony years), finally getting concrete win. too bad I'm not getting better overnight, but hope has finally been refreshed.

grinding in this capitalist hellscape is exhausting. but i'm thanking the universe and mourning the spoons i've lost, destroyed, and melted along the way trying to get to this damn point.

and wouldn't you know I've been looking at some old drafts of blog posts and fannish things. and thinking maybe I can actually finish and share more. I already dropped some more vid and fic recs in my queue. and oh I can be sharing more of my art stuff too.

[kuwdora]

i got two finished vids, 3 pieces of art (been working on some more painty witcher portrait things)... and like a million vid recs and witcher fic recs and art posts all half drafted that I want to finish and share. and i'll be lucky if I can haul the brain through the immediate chores and make it through weekly planning and food-things and this wave of jobdyssey woes.

i need like a dozen gentle headpats and a cookie.

time to set my timer and start getting things done. fingers crossed.