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jjuwuni · 9 months ago

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caught in his web ; choi yeonjun ch. 4 | UNWANTED GUESTS

pairings — yeonjun x afab reader

genre — smut (lots of it so minors dni please), fluff, angst, college!au, friends to lovers, drama

word count (for this chapter) — ~2.3k

summary — You thought you’d be immune to Choi Yeonjun's charms, turns out you were completely, utterly, shamefully wrong.

And what’s worse? He’s your new best friend's boyfriend.

Wanna hear something even worse than that? His dad and your mom are dating.

MOA University: An educational institution created for the 1%. The elite of the elites. Those who are to inherit large multinational companies, take oath in office, and represent Korea's future in business and politics. This is where it begins.

warnings — almost-stepbro!yeonjun but not really since your parents are in the early stages of dating, kinda slow burn yes, black haired!yeonjun, bad boy yeonjun, all of you are trust fund babies, all the tubatu's make a cameo and are in the same friend group, might reference some other 4th gen idols, alcohol, drinking, drunken mishaps, lots of sex, profanity - lots of it, yeonjun is a menace but he's so cute wtf i'm screaming, jealousy, making out etc. minors dni istg! i'm watching y'all..

A/N: i'll keep my personal update short and sweet: one thing's for sure, this part do be kinda spicy so 👀 do let me know your thoughts !

current taglist : @soobadooba , @flowerbe0m , @lix-stray , @beomtese , @yxnjvnnie , @healingpage , @hihello-pinky , @kazscara , @bibibun , @txtistheloml , @jungwonismybias, @boba-beom, @jwnghyuns, @a-l-i-y-a, @nurihihi, @staaaarykids, @seonghwa10ve

The following morning, you were expecting the day to be quite eventful. Not only is your mom home from her stint in Italy, but Yeonjun's father came home along with her.

You basically have a full house that day - with both your parents and Yeonjun himself present.

The smell of fresh croissants greeted you that early morning, as you wrapped your baby pink silk robe around your frame while walking to the kitchen.

"Good morning!" You greeted everyone in the kitchen upon your arrival. It was bustling, with helpers and chefs scattered all around - some of those who have served in your family for decades.

Lo and behold though, you happen to catch a glimpse of Chaewon in the kitchen, making you inhale a surprised gasp.

"Chaewon-ah.. You're here too huh?" You inquired, staring at the other female who was busy in the middle of the kitchen.

Come to think of it, with the amount of times you've visited and stayed in her home, you've never seen her come even close to the vicinity of her kitchen.

"Oh! Hi y/n!" She chirped, pulling out a tray of croissants from the oven after flashing a smile your way. "I heard Jjunie's dad is in town and I just thought, why not welcome him back by cooking him breakfast, hm? I am his future daughter-in-law after all."

You swallowed a little, not too sure why you were feeling a little invaded by this sudden visit. She was your best friend after all, right?

And she was Yeonjun’s future spouse, that much was a given, so she was only stating facts.

"Oh okay, well, I'm looking forward to what you have whipped up for us. See you in there." Your words come out apathetic in nature, making you question why for a moment before exiting the kitchen. You then waddled over to the dining area where all three of the people you were expecting to see were seated.

Yeonjun shot you a cautious look when I entered, you think it was because he wasn't also expecting Chaewon to show up at this point in time.

You ignored it and ignored him as well.

"Ah, we must send our regards to the Kim family for raising a daughter like this. They really did a marvelous job." Your Uncle Minjun noted as soon as you sat down, with Chaewon trailing behind you with her "freshly baked" croissants.

"Oh of course- I'll tell them you send your warmest ones, appa. I can call you that now, right?" Chaewon bravely said, causing Yeonjun to almost choke on his glass of water.

Your mom and yourself however, decided you'd take a seat back and enjoy watching Chaewon dote on Yeonjun while he awkwardly accepted the gesture.

You watched on, feeling slightly uncomfortable about the whole situation, but also wanting to be entertained at the same time. It was quite funny to see him act as behaved as possible around your parents.

As you are about to finish eating, your phone starts ringing - effectively catching everyone's attention. Yeonjun, who was sitting across from you happened to catch a glimpse of who was calling.

"Excuse me, I'm going to take this call quick." You remarked before standing up and moving to the corner of the room, even though it was far from everyone else, you made it a point that people could still hear you. "Ah Soobin ssi, what is it? Oh-... You want to go out? Today? Ah alright, pick me up in a few, okay? See you then!"

When you got back to your seat, it was a lot quieter than usual, but you were determined to get yourself out of the house as soon as possible- there was no way you'd stay there any longer.

“Nice to see you Soobin-ah~” You said as Soobin picked you up that early afternoon, getting in the seat and strapping yourself in with the seatbelt.

“I’m glad you agreed to let me see you today.” He replied and began to drive away from your house.

In the rearview mirror of his car, you could see a tall figure in the distance, standing by the far side of the driveway, watching the car drive off.

You shake the feeling off, Yeonjun was probably just wanting to see one of his best friends.

“Chaewon’s in our house today, I think she’s out on a mission to try and impress Yeonjun’s dad. It’s pretty cute, to be honest. I don't think I've ever seen her do any housework whatsoever.” You began the conversation, laughing a little in the process. “Has she always been like this?”

“I guess you could say that.” The male with the dark-colored hair nodded, and you watched him on as he drove, settling on the passenger side. “Chaewon’s always been a shy kid when we were young, she didn't even like to speak to anyone. But I think Jun helped her get out of her shell. I guess you could say, the reason why she’s as confident as she is now is because of him." He starts explaining, giving you more insight as to how their dynamic was when you were all young.

No wonder Chaewon and him are practically attached by the hip.

"They were friends for a while, as we all were, but as soon as Chaewon approached her last year of High School, their parents started communicating about the possibility of a potential marriage arrangement.”

You blew air into your cheeks, inflating them, it seemed as if they had their whole lives ahead of them planned out. “Oh, I understand.” You nodded a few times, “Um, Soobin?” You paused, looking up at him with a careful expression on your face, “You know, don’t you? About… How Yeonjun sees other women.”

He pursed his lips in a tight line and nodded albeit cautiously, “How did you know?”

“His dad mentioned in one of our dinners that the guards catch him sneaking people in.” You replied, “But… but why does he do that? Is he not... happy with her?” You asked him, hoping to make sense of the situation.

“Well.. Like I said before, he’s making up for all the shortcomings in his life by acting up. That’s just how it is. I guess when you get robbed of your childhood like Yeonjun hyung did, that’s how you cope.”

Soobin paused, running his hands through his soft locks of hair. “As messed up as it may sound, Chaewon knows though, she knows every single one of his faults and secrets. She even knows that he sleeps around. But she lets him… That’s how patient she is with him, you know?”

Wow. Props to her. “Woah, I didn’t know that, indeed, Chaewon does love him a lot.”

“She does. She’s very patient with him, hoping that one day he’ll come to his senses and get it together. I think we're all just hoping for the same. In any case, Chaewon knows that Yeonjun’s formally to be with her, so maybe that’s what gives her assurance.”

Yeonjun is hers. You thought to yourself to serve as a reminder. You stayed there quiet as can be all throughout the car ride going to the mall where you were going to hang out, trying to process everything.

You didn’t know Chaewon had any inclination that Yeonjun fooled around like that, and it was very admirable that she stuck beside him even through it all.

It almost made you jealous.

The day went by faster than you expected. You and Soobin just watched a movie and had some pizza and ice cream afterward, as per your request.

It was a wholesome kind of "date", as he had always been the exemplary gentleman. He was different from the guys your age who just cared about hook-ups, and you realized the more time you spent with him that you shared a lot of commonalities- and for that you were thankful.

Thinking about it now, he was one of the first few who welcomed you into the group with open arms during your first days at MOA U.

You got home at around a little after midnight, you even fell asleep in his car on the ride home.

You decided to end the night by placing a quick kiss on his lips though, it was more of a thank you gesture on your part- for being so patient with you as always and also saving you from your day.

He blushed as red as a beet, and it was the cutest thing ever.

As you were heading up the long flight of stairs and up to the third floor of the house, you couldn't help but notice that Yeonjun's door was still slightly open.

You had to admit that curiosity started eating at you.

After all, you haven't seen him the whole day. Maybe he was still awake? You did notice that he was the type to sleep late playing games with the boys or listening to music.

Maybe you can catch up on his day? You were genuinely interested to hear about how the day with Chaewon being in the house went after you left.

And though at first, you decided to ignore the open door and go on your merry way, after changing into your satin pajama set, you slowly but surely made your way to his room.

You took very light steps across the carpeted hallway, not wanting to disturb him in any way in case he left his room open when he fell asleep. Quiet as a mouse, you moved through the long hallway adorned with expensive paintings.

It was when you were a few inches away from his door that you heard a muffled sound.

And then another, and then, another.

Your eyes grew big when you realized what kind of sound it was.

Your eyes peered into the small crack in his door into the dimly lit bedroom, his king-sized bed in view, and the sight that took place before your eyes was enough to cause you to kneel on the floor.

“Noona..” Yeonjun moaned as the unknown female began to ride him. She was nestled atop him, with her legs on either side of his waist.

You watched on as Yeonjun’s firm grip took hold of her waist, making indents on her skin, while she moved over him with much vigor and enthusiasm.

Now's probably a good time to divulge your secret.

You were a virgin. With no prior experience with sex, whatsoever.

And this would be the first time you’d be witnessing something like this firsthand.

Even so, you couldn’t pry your eyes away from the lewd sight. It wasn't like you've ever gone out of your way to watch anything R-rated, so this was basically your first brush with that type of content.

No matter what you did, there was something in you that wanted to watch on.

You felt your innocence getting tainted by the second so quickly. But you just couldn’t look away.

You bit your tongue as your eyes scanned over him: from his prominent features exhibiting a pleasured expression, down to his defined collarbones that adorned his broad shoulders, and to his firm, chiseled torso.

You barely gave the unknown woman the time of day, your focus was all on him.

You then felt something in between your legs, some type of heat. At the back of your mind, you knew what that meant, but you just couldn't bring yourself to accept it in the moment.

The older girl grasped Yeonjun’s shoulders as she sped up her bouncing, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his length every now and then, and boy, were they really supposed to come in that big of a size?

You couldn’t handle it anymore as they both wrestled to hit their climaxes, and you were finally able to gather enough strength to back away from the scene of the crime.

You ran like a chicken without its head towards the kitchen, grabbing a cold glass of water and chugging it down in the hopes that it would extinguish whatever kind of feeling was igniting in you.

“Jesus… What the hell.” You couldn’t help but groan into your hands as you buried your face in them, half of your body collapsing onto the marbled countertop.

You stood there frozen in the middle of the kitchen for what seemed like an eternity, wanting to burn that vision of Yeonjun getting it on with some other girl and eradicate it from your memory bank as soon as you possibly could.

You were ready to go back to your room and call it a night after you got yourself together (which honestly took about five more minutes).

But as soon as you turned around, there he was, standing by the doorway of the kitchen. He had his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face, thick brows furrowed together in the center of his face.

“O-oh, hey…” You tried to act nonchalant, but the cracking in your voice and the heat pooling underneath your cheeks were betraying you. In short, it felt like your whole face was on fire. "W-when did you get here? Ah, I didn't even notice you. I'm just so tired from my day." You tried to salvage the situation, even faking a yawn.

“Hey yourself.” Yeonjun replied in a raspy voice, lowering his gaze to you.

You walked up towards the entrance of the kitchen and came face to face with the devil himself. “I was just getting a glass of water.” You tried to explain, stopping about an inch away from him when you realized he wasn’t going to budge. He wasn't moving a muscle.

“Enjoyed the show I hope?”

Your jaw dropped ever so slightly, “E-excuse me?”

“You’re not going to tell Chaewon.. Right?” He asked with a grin as your eyes locked.

“I - I really don’t know what you’re talking about, Yeonjun-ah,” You said, trying your very hardest to feign innocence still.

All at the same time, you were trying to ignore the fact that he was literally just in his boxers, with that… that thing.. as defined as it was behind the cloth of the underwear.

Yeonjun laughed: it sounded like a giggle, almost. Clearly finding this situation entertaining.

Soon, he reached out, pushing your hair back and over your shoulder, effectively exposing the flesh.

He then leaned in and began to ghost his lips across your shoulder and to your own collarbone, tracing it with his plump, rosy pair. “Mm, okay if you say so, princess…” He said, his hot breath trickling against your skin as you heard him inhale, as if he was taking in your scent, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he pulled away, leaving you weak in the knees that you had to support yourself and hold onto the doorway to catch the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

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hyuny-bunny · 7 months ago

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⋆˚࿔ read me ! 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

𑁤 rose | 23 | she / her / hers | ♉︎

- masterlist

- asks / inbox

- commissioned requests !

- abt me: i'm a college student w / a job ! my main bias for skz is hyun + lino, my bias wreckers are lix + jeongin

𑁤 skz mainly | will open for other groups in the future 🖤

all my writing is fiction, it's for entertainment purposes only and doesn't represent the idols discussed here or anyone in real life.

𑁤 please do send me detailed asks/requests of any thoughts/suggests/comments you'd like to share! REQUESTS

𑁤 i will not be discussing the following topics: ageplay, vore, gore, anything in the realm of being illegal. i am open to hearing and writing on topics of CNC or dub-con but key to this is CONSENT.

-please be +18 to read and follow, minors & ageless accounts will be blocked

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enha-hype · 1 year ago

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♪ song series ♪

hi! this is the second instalment in a series of oneshots i will be writing based on/inspired by a certain song. (note : in this particular fic there's another song featured) i recommend listening to the song(s) once before you read it <3

#2 summer love (song 1 | song 2)

pairing : lee felix x gn reader (established relationship)

genre : songfic, angstttt, pining, fluff if you squint, not a happy ending i'm afraid

warnings : none that i can think of, it's just sad ig. but if there's something you'd like me to add, lmk <3

w.c. : 1.7k

disclaimer : this is purely a work of fiction made for entertainment purposes only!

masterlist

← #1

22 hours left

You watch Felix as he goes around the kitchen getting the ingredients for the batter ready. You try to etch it all into your memory - his little nose scrunches, the way the sunlight streaming in through the window highlights his beautiful freckles, the shape of his lips… Sigh. Pictures never do him justice. And even if they did, what would be the point? You have to leave tomorrow and nothing could change that, or the grief that’s bound to follow.

Ugh, screw all those stupid romcoms and their happy couples and unrealistic endings! You wish it were as easy as they made it out to be, where one of them just quits their job and leaves home and everyone and everything they know basically, to move halfway across the world and be with the love of their life like it’s no big deal, like it’s the most practical decision ever, and of course they’re all loaded enough to be able to afford it. Stupid. Ridiculous. Know what’s even more ridiculous? The fact that you two had fallen so hopelessly in love over the span of just two months, knowing full well this relationship could have no future. Stupid stupid stupid. If the universe was so intent on handing you the cliché fall in love on vacation trope, why not give you the romcom ending as well? Why torture you like this?

Felix meets your gaze and smiles, though there's something sad about it. “Don’t do that please,”

“Do what?” you feign ignorance and blink innocently, which earns a proper smile from him this time. It tugs at your heart.

“You know what. Watch me with that forlorn look in your eyes. It makes me wanna bear hug you and never let go,” he says as he walks over and does just that.

Your lips curve up into a smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lix. You’ll come up with any excuse to touch me,”

“Well if you don't like it–” he starts to pull away.

“Nooo I didn't say that,” you pull his arms back around you and you both laugh. Which is followed by a heavy silence that settles in the nooks and crannies of the room, somehow making the morning not so bright anymore. You're both joking around and dodging questions and being flippant because not doing that would mean having a serious conversation. Not doing that would mean confronting reality and having to say your goodbyes and you promised each other not to be all blue and gloomy on your last day together. You both know the other is also thinking about this, and how not talking about it is just making things weird.

Felix clears his throat, unwrapping his arms from around you. “I should get back to the pancakes. Don't wanna burn them like last time,”

“Right, haha,” you resist the urge to reach out and have him lock his arms around you again, trying to ignore how cold you suddenly feel.

You hate how painfully awkward you've become over the past few days – walking on eggshells and not being able to say what you're really thinking half the time, swallowing feelings and stopping mid-sentence.

Fifteen minutes later you're sitting at the table and Felix sets down a plate in front of you : choco chip waffles with chocolate syrup, whipped cream and ice cream. You gape at him. He’s indulging your sweet tooth way too much.

“You're trying to make me diabetic!” you complain, but give him a peck on his cheek.

“Only for today,” he chuckles and then bites his lip, realising he probably should’ve worded that better.

Only for today. Right. Because from tomorrow he won't even be able to see you, much less make you your favourite breakfast. And you're just supposed to go back to your old life and move on after….all this. After Felix. Totally easy. Totally–

“Hey you wanna watch a movie after?” he interrupts, sensing you going down a spiral. “And then go to the beach?”

You smile at his mention of the beach – it was where you first met. Where it all started. Where you’d spent most of your days together over the past two months. Playing silly games, learning how to surf. Lazy afternoons and late nights. Early morning walks along the shoreline to catch the sunrise. The first kiss you shared on one such walk. It all seems to have gone by in a blur.

17 hours left

You ended up not going to the beach.

You had put on a comedy movie but neither of you laughed much - not because the movie wasn’t funny, but because you just couldn’t bring yourselves to focus. Felix ended up dozing off halfway through, his head nuzzled on your shoulder. You watched the rest of the movie on mute, careful not to move or make a noise so you wouldn’t wake him. He woke up cursing about half an hour later, mad at himself for falling asleep and wasting what little time you have left together. You assured him it was fine, that you were happy just having him by your side. He complained that he wasn’t happy about having spent the half hour unconscious, especially when you were right next to him.

“You’re so cute when you’re sulky,” you’d said, smothering him with kisses. Then he started kissing you back, and uh, let’s just say that the two of you got a little carried away.

12 hours left

Felix sits you down in the living room saying he has a surprise for you.

“Don’t open your eyes until it’s time!”

“How will I know it’s time if I can’t see?”

“You’ll knoww.”

You frown. For a few seconds, there’s only silence. Then you hear a chair being pulled back a few feet away. You hear him clear his throat. You gasp when you hear the piano, your eyes snapping open. A lump forms in your throat as he flashes you a smile and starts singing the first line.

“I know, you know, we know

We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

But if the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight

And there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?”

There’s something about the way he whisper-sings that last ‘right?’ because suddenly it’s impossible to hold the tears back any longer or pretend nothing's wrong. You run into his arms, clutching him so tight and wonder how the hell that single word could be packed with so much hope and despair and joy and sorrow at the same time because it honestly shattered you.

You suppose it's kind of funny in a sad way, because he's hastily wiping at your cheeks asking you to please not cry but he's crying too, and maybe one day you'll both be able to look back and laugh about this, but right now dear God, you swear you could physically feel your heart break into a million little pieces.

10 hours left

You’re both lying on the couch now, secretly grateful for the cramped space that makes being so squeezed up next to each other necessary. Neither of you suggests moving to the bedroom. You feel his body rise and fall with every breath and you try to focus only on that and not think about anything else. The sun has set and a soft summer breeze blows in through the open window. You watch him absentmindedly fiddle with your intertwined fingers.

“So much for not talking about it,” you snort.

“Well who asked you to start crying and ruin it?”

You elbow him. “Who asked you to choose that stupid song?”

“Hey don’t blame the song!”

“Oh no I’m blaming you, Lee Felix,”

He jabs you in the side playfully and then kisses your cheek. You tilt your head to look at him. His eyes are puffy and the tip of his nose red. Your heart aches at the sight, although your own face is probably no better at the moment. With your free hand, you push back the hair from his forehead. He closes his eyes as you trace lines along his freckles like they’re constellations. “Please don't come to drop me off tomorrow,” you say quietly.

His eyes snap open. He opens his mouth like he's about to protest, then thinks better of it and purses his lips. He nods once, solemnly. He wouldn’t be able to watch you walk away, either.

“Do you regret it?” he asks, after a few minutes of silence.

“What?”

“This. Us. Meeting me.”

“You're a dumbass if you think I do,”

He smiles and the ache eases a little. “I don't either. You're worth the heartbreak,”

You try not to let the word heartbreak sink in. “I didn't know you were capable of being so cheesy,” you tease.

“It's all the excess cheese from the Tteokbokki you made for lunch,” he answers without missing a beat.

“Well you gave me diabetes, it's only fair that I give you high cholesterol,”

He laughs. “God, Y/n...”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing,”

You look over at him again and you know what he meant to say. And why he didn't say it.

10 minutes

You were hoping you could leave quietly before Felix woke up like you had originally planned, but to your dismay and a bit of irritating delight, he was up even before you were. He made coffee, which you both drank at the table wordlessly. He helped with last-minute packing. Then he sat in the living room as you got ready, his expression unreadable.

Your suitcase is by the door. The taxi is waiting outside. You’ve checked and rechecked that you have your passport and other important items. You’ve avoided meeting his eyes since you woke up this morning although you stole plenty of glances when he wasn’t looking because you don’t know if you can handle what you see in them. But you can’t any longer �� there’s hardly 10 minutes left before you have to walk out the door. Taking a deep breath, you make your way to where he’s standing. You hesitantly take his hand in yours – they’re cold despite the warm weather. You look up at him and– oh God. What are you even supposed to say? You don’t know and you don’t want to know, you don’t want to say anything that will make this real, you want to pretend none of this is happening. And so you just stare at him helplessly until he cups your face and presses his lips to yours and the entire world melts away for a few minutes.

You had never said your ‘I love you’s. But when you pulled back from the kiss and he looked at you with that earnestness in his watery eyes, it was as clear as day. You knew. And as you make your way to the airport, you can only pray that he knows too.

(Actual clip of Felix singing the song for extra feels)

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kim-poce · 2 years ago

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8. Catnip: The End

Sorry for the long gap.

Masterlist

CW: tiny whumpee, comfort, happy end.

=-=

Time passed. A long time in which, although many things happened, none of them was bad. Nepeta has a job now, both an in-cluster one; helping to maintain the beehive. And an out-cluster one; drawing plant illustrations on herbology books.

He was mostly used to Cindy now, he actually liked her. He knew for a fact that she wouldn't hurt him. He still, sometimes, feels like she’ll, but she said that it’s okay to take his time to relearn that.

That place was, he found out, not Cindy’s actual house. She spends a lot of time there, and there is rarely a day where she doesn’t pay a visit, but she lives elsewhere; Calen said it was so they would be more comfortable, and while it felt so ungrateful of him to be relieved that his giant benefactor wasn’t around all the time he still was.

Sometimes when they are having a party day, and everyone is smiling and chattering, flash of his last day with Lix back, while the whole time with her was a blur, he remembered very well the way Cindy yelled at her. It’s odd, at first knowing she could get that angry was frightening, now it feels like he has someone strong to lean on.

“Hello, Nepeta, can you come with me?” Cindy asked, walking inside the room.

He nodded, dropping down his pencil. He didn't need to be talked into calming down at her presence anymore, so even though he was all alone with her he still allowed her to pick him up and walk towards the living room.

“I have good news today,” she said with a smile, and he flinched just a little bit at the sharp teeth in her mouth.

“n-news?” he asked. “What kind of news?”

They arrived in the living room, so Nepeta waited to be put down on the table where the others were before listening to the news.

“Remember when I tracked down the people who captured you and got them arrested?” she asked, and he nodded uncomfortably, “The other victims were housed elsewhere, and they have been helping us to track down the ones that were sold. I looked for every clue, and I didn’t find any other catnip fairy in their register;”

“Are you sure?” Nepeta asked, his heart was beating fast; he has been worried about his family since he was captured. “Are you sure they didn’t find the others? My my family and and the other they aren’t they didn’t they-”

“They weren’t captured, yes, these guys had well-kept registers, albeit in codes so it took a long time to decipher. They would have noted their capture down. There is one more thing.”

Nepeta shallow hard, “W-what?”

“I have many fairies friends of mine, some of which work with me and the others,” she must have noticed that he was growing nervous so she summed up. “In short, we may have found your family. It was hard since you don’t know where they are but- Hey, hey don’t cry.”

“Come here,” Tinar called, wrapping him into a hug that soon attracted all the other fairies into a big comfy ball.

“Sorry,” Cindy said in a low voice, crouching down near the table, “Sorry I made you cry. We aren’t sure if it’s them yet, but even if they aren’t we’ll find them one day. Don’t cry, please.”

“No, not that” Nepeta cried out, relieved, the others hugged him even closer as he let the tears stream down again, “T-thank you, thank you, I-” was so worried, I- If they were found because of me, if they were captured, if they had died because I- “T-they are are safe.”

“Yes, they are safe,” Cindy nodded and smiled.

“Easy there,” Calen said, drawing circles on Nepeta’s back, “Cindy will look for them, she is very good at it, until then you will be here with us.”

Nepeta nodded, he would go back home, he would see his family and friends again, he could barely wait for it. He wanted to be in peace and be happy with them again, he would also —he felt it— be happy with this new family too, it was the first time in a long while that he was sure he would be happy, that glancing at the future felt bright and happy.

“I-I love you all,” he admitted, sobbing too much to speak right after as everyone said how much they loved him back.

“I think that deserves a picnic,” Cindy smiled, “Let’s go cook ourselves something tasty.”

=-=

Taglist: @kathea, @theadorelocksly, @wolfeyedwitch, @whumpsday, @extemporary-username

#catnip #fairy #tiny whumpee #whump #my writing

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starlostastronaut · 1 year ago

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DAY 10 | ALL WE ARE

PAIRING: kim seungmin x reader

GENRE: college au (not mentioned), rivals (more like annoyances) to lovers

WC: 1.70k

CW: reader finds seungmin annoying, dancer!reader, photographer!seungmin

PROMPT: "i don't need your help" "are you sure? cause it sure looks like it"

marking 22:16 and completing another day haha. somehow the biases get the long oneshots (*cough* day 3 *cough*) but i genuinely had so much fun writing this (while procrastinating learning bio lmao). anyway, i think i can see this having a part two, so maybe in the future... hope you enjoy <3

title from border - years & years

general masterlist here

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You threw your bag on the floor, not really caring where it was going to land. You rolled up your sleeves and made sure your hair was out of your face before you walked towards one of the barres in the dance studio. You and the dance team were going to take some promo photos for your Instagram, so naturally, as the captain, you offered to come early and set everything up. Hyunjin and Felix, two of your teammates, were supposed to arrive soon to help you move everything, but you decided you could start on your own.

You prepared the background and removed all unnecessary objects that would get in the way and pose as a distraction in the photos. Then you took out your own decorations and began carefully placing them around the scene to create the illusion of a frequently used place. You were sure the photographer would move at least a half of them because he was an annoying perfectionistic dick, but you needed to keep yourself busy somehow. It was better than just idly sitting and waiting for one of the guys to show up to help you move the heavy stuff.

But now everything you could do was prepared, and Hyunjin and Felix were still nowhere in sight. You were sitting on the spot of the photographer, trying to see if anything could be altered to look better or be pushed out of the way before the equipment was moved to its correct place. As you began to feel frustrated with the two dancers, you got up and walked over to your bag, digging through it to find your phone. A new message awaited you.

Hyunjin

got lost buying coffee. me & lix will be there in 20!!

hurry up!!

Shaking your head, you pocketed your phone. Trust Hyunjin to get lost at the most inconvenient times. You would bet anything that that wasn't even the real reason; Hyunjin could find the way to the studio blindfolded, given how much time he spent here. The more plausible reason was that the two dumbasses simply forgot, and Hyunjin was trying to cover their asses.

Well, the reason wasn't important. More importantly, the photographer would be here soon to set up his equipment, and the barres still needed to be moved. “How heavy can it be, right?” you murmured to yourself and wrapped your hands around one end of the barre. You managed to lift it up just fine, but the other end was still on the ground due to the barre's length. You tried to drag it across the floor, and to your surprise, it moved, but once you heard the ugly screech the floor made, you dropped the bar with a thud. It was not worth damaging the floor.

“Do you want help?” someone said as they walked through the door. A relief washed over you, thinking it was Hyunjin at first, but then you realized the voice and tone didn't match. As you turned around, the relief quickly turned to annoyance because the photographer had arrived.

Kim Seungmin, also known as the pain in your ass. He had been working with you for close to two years now. You weren’t sure how he even got the job in the first place, but you assumed it was Felix's doing since the two were friends. But Seungmin was good, so you kept him around. Much to your dismay, it was always Seungmin's photos and videos that went viral on social media. As a photographer, he was simply amazing, but as a person, not so much, despite everything Felix tried to convince you otherwise. Seungmin was always brutally honest, always had some witty remarks, and wasn't afraid to speak his mind. He would make jokes about anyone and anything. You weren’t an exception to his humor. When he committed to a vision, no one could tell him anything. His attitude made you lose your mind at times. He was an organized rule-follower, but at the same time so carefree, energetic, and just himself. You had to admire that about him. He didn’t care about anything, which was something you secretly envied. You were always too quick to crumble under the judgment of other people, another reason why his jokes affected you so much.

“I'm fine,” you spat out, turning your back to him again. “You can set up over there.” You pointed towards the empty spot close to the window, chosen carefully for natural light. You heard Seungmin scoff, but he did go set down his camera and other things he had brought. You heard footsteps, and then his face was back in your field of vision.

He got rid of his jacket, standing there in a simple t-shirt. He was never the one to dress up, preferring casual clothing, but he had this personal style that looked good on him. You had seen him dressed formally at events, but you liked this Seungmin much more. He looked more relaxed, more like himself. It was this soft style that enhanced his natural beauty the most. That was another thing you would never say to him. So what? You were allowed to think he's pretty while also thinking he's annoying, were you not?

Seungmin grabbed the other end of the barre. “Come on, on three.” He counted it, and together you lifted it up and carried it where it needed to be. You repeated the process with the other barre as well. What surprised you was that for the whole time, Seungmin hadn't uttered any wannabe funny jokes. That was unusual for him. But you could come back to that later. The costumes still needed to be brought in. You went to the hall to find the storage. As you entered the cramped room just down the hall, you spotted the box you needed right on the top shelf. “Perfect,” you muttered under your breath and stood on your toes, trying to reach the box. You managed to somehow wiggle it closer to the edge, and you were praying it wouldn't fall on your head.

Suddenly, you were pushed out of the way. “Wait, let me,” Seungmin said, effortlessly taking the box down. “Anything else?” Stunned, you wordlessly pointed to a smaller box, funnily enough also on top. With his height, Seungmin had no trouble reaching that one either. He placed the box on top of the first one, and before you could say anything, he carried both boxes back outside to where you were going to do the shoot, leaving you alone in the storage closet. You locked it up quickly, and you ran after him. You caught up to him just as he was setting the boxes down in the corner.

“Why are you suddenly nice to me?” you asked, leaning on the door frame. You were confused. Normally, Seungmin would take the piss out of you for your poor planning. But so far, he has been nothing but helpful and kind. “Are you feeling sick?” you added after a few seconds, feeling brave.

“What do you mean?”

You shrugged. “I don't know. Usually, you'd make fun of me. Tell some stupid joke.” You watched carefully his reaction. His body tensed up but then relaxed again. There's something defeated about his attitude now.

Seungmin ran a hand through his bangs. "The truth is, I was trying to get your attention. Clearly, that didn't work,” he mumbled, all of his usual confidence and ease gone.

Oh.

“Well, I'm not surprised,” you scoffed. “If that was your idea of flirting, it sucked.”

Seungmin laughed bitterly. “Yeah, Felix told me that much. Which is why I'm trying a new approach.” He looked up, and you found his eyes bright and sparkling with energy, despite his mood right now. He looked like a puppy, which was so adorable that it was unfair.

Double oh.

Kim Seungmin was trying to flirt with you? In what alternate universe have you found yourself? Never in a million years would you think that was what all his teasing meant, but apparently this was the reality. With horror, you realized you weren’t opposed to the idea. No, you were intrigued. This sudden change in his behavior, what he was telling you now... Looking back at your recent encounters, you realized he was, in fact, nicer than he used to be, but those were still a far cry from today. He still teased you at any given chance. And deep down, you knew that Seungmin was a kind man, but to help you without saying a word like he did just now must have meant something. Maybe what he was saying was really true.

Feeling genuinely curious as well as enjoying the feeling of finally having the upper hand and finally being able to tease him for a change, you voiced your next question. “Why? You like me or something?” You cocked an eyebrow, a smile playing on your lips. You peeled yourself away from the door frame and slowly walked closer to the photographer.

Seungmin seemed to go through all stages of panic in about three seconds. Subconsciously, he began playing with the rings he was wearing as a form of grounding. It was a rare sight to see Seungmin, always so calm and collected, fidgeting and feeling nervous. As evil as it might have sounded, a part of you enjoyed seeing him like this, being put down from the pedestal of confidence he himself built. It made him more like you, more human.

But before Seungmin could answer anything besides a stuttered "I", the door flew open. You had never in your life wanted to smack Hwang Hyunjin more than right now. He barged in, holding a half-empty cup of iced Americano and apologizing loudly. Felix trailed behind him like a lost kitten.

“We're so coming back to this conversation after the shoot,” you said in a hushed voice towards Seungmin, who just dumbly nodded and retreated back to his equipment while you went to scold Hyunjin (and Felix, but you could never be truly mad at him). As you made your way towards the two boys, you didn't notice the proud and amused smirk on Seungmin's face.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings @darkypooo

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

#( all works⎯ 🗃 )#( moony's countdown to christmas⎯ 📂 )#stray kids x reader #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin

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ruby-red-inky-blue · 8 months ago

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I always thought they did such a great job hinting at what Bel is doing and why without ever having to go out and say it. It's a very simple combination of two very complex things, I believe: it's a need for appreciation and love, and a fear of losing herself in search of it.

Bel has to fight tooth and nail all day to be respected, to be heard, to be allowed to do things that matter in a man's world. And at the end of the day she wants to be able to shed that. She wants to be adored, and told that she's beautiful and funny and attractive, and she's a person with desire for physical affection and sex, which isn't a thing the world is really ready to afford women at that time. I think this part is pretty self-explanatory from her behaviour and how generally delighted she seems every time someone gives her a genuine compliment.

But, if you're thinking, "well, she could very easily have all that from Freddie, a man who isn't married and isn't a low-key prick to start with and clearly oh so ready to give her everything she wants*", I think the answer to that is in the character of her mother, and to some degree Marnie as well. Bel is scared of ending up like her mother, of giving in to that need to be loved and ending up dependent and debased and having abandoned and even forgotten every other passion she ever had in life. Bel takes what Hector offers because there is no risk of it ever turning into something real that might cause her to slip, because nobody can ever find out, and because he's a selfish, unfaithful man who will drop her for someone else eventually. It's exciting and fun and perfectly skin-deep. Of course, from a career view, Hector is the nuclear option. But from an emotional view, he's safe. She can even let herself fall in love with him a little bit, because who cares! It has a clear expiration date and will never become anything more than it is. His affection is fleeting and surface-level and safe, in the same way that Freddie's constant, anguished affection is dangerous.

She's afraid of the kind of love Freddie is offering. She pretty much goes out and says it at the end of S2, but you can see this much earlier - like her reaction to the poetry, first in the car and then in her room. You can see how deeply she's struck by it, and yet how troubled she looks. It's never the face of someone who is annoyed their friend won't drop it (she never looks happier in the whole show than when she imagines a stupid future with Freddie, and it's HER who suggests they'd have children, not him). It's always longing and fear. She wants what he's offering, but she's scared she wants it too much, and it will make her the type of woman she never wanted to be. So it's better to be safe, and get most of what she needs from someone who is, eventually, unavailable. She likes Hector, she doesn't love him, and he doesn't love her, and that's very much the point. Because I think in her head, women who go after men they love and, more precisely, go out of their way to be loved by a man, end up either married, out-of-the-loop homebodies like Marnie or Clarence's wife, or abandoned and desperate like her mother or even Mrs. Kish - the only female role model she seems to have is Lix, who is emphatically single and doesn't let men into her life for anything more than a little fun.

Neither Lix nor Bel are unaware of the fact that they're trading in independence for loneliness. It's an active choice they're making, for their careers and their independence, and in Bel's case it's actively heartbreaking to watch but I still think it is so deftly drawn and acted and it's a facet of this show that I've always appreciated so much. It so complicated and yet so simple - Bel's work is most of her identity, and so she takes the lover she feels is safe for her identity, which would immediately cost her her work and thus who she is if it ever got out. It's delicious writing. I love this show.

* leaving aside the question of whether Freddie is actually ready to be with her at this point, which is dubious at best. I think if they'd got together at this point, the whole thing would have dramatically crashed and burned, but that's a whole other post

Although I just recently watched the first season of The Hour, as it came out over a decade ago I’m not going to put these thoughts under a cut. However, this is your warning that some spoilers for the first season follow.

The first season of The Hour seems thoughtfully and carefully put together on the whole, which is why the affair plot line is particularly baffling, because it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever and yet the show clearly expects us to believe it make sense, because otherwise why include it?

Bel’s only reason that I can tell, for having an affair with Hector, is that she thinks he’s movie-star attractive, and she knows he thinks she’s attractive. He’s absolutely terrible to her when they first meet - he’s smarmy and condescending and misogynistic and hits on her while being smarmy, condescending, and misogynistic. He’s also married and her employee, in a time in which she is absolutely going to suffer the most consequences professionally as well as personally if their affair is discovered. He’s a little less terrible after their first meeting, but A), that’s a very low bar, and B) he’s not that much better. He becomes more sympathetic, yes. He doesn’t particularly become a better person.

I know this show understands how to do a convincing “these people find each other attractive and sleep together” plot line because Freddie and Lix as a result of certain things that are going on, decide to sleep together. Freddie and Lix, who are both single, who are friends, who are kind to each other who like each other as people, who have a genuine affection for one another, who find each other compelling and intelligent and witty and attractive, and who are very clear about what they are and aren’t doing when they choose to sleep together. There’s a reason they do it that one time, and there’s a reason why it’s a one-time thing (this time).

I can only conclude that I must have missed something critical that would explain why Bel and Hector are having this affair, but I’ve no idea earthly what that is.

#(it also makes the yearning so much better because it's not pointless manufactured drama!#it's a very real thing that makes so much sense for bel's character #and i also love that freddie is written as someone who gets it. he sees what she's doing and why #he hates it but he gets it and he tries so hard to respect it. because he's marginalised in a different way and he connects the dots.)#anyway #sorry to come onto this post literal years after the fact but it's an excuse to rant about this and i'll take it #just picked up this show again and god i still love it so much #the hour #bel rowley #i love this show so much #bel x freddie #meta

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hwan-g · 2 years ago

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DARLING. kim seungmin — 김승민

pair. bookshop owner! seungmin x f. reader | warnings. profanity, angst, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, slight exhibitionism | genre. dark academia, romance, love at first sight | word count. 8k

tags. @ughbehavior (@straywrds), @cb97percent, @j-0ne25, @hyuneater, @hyun-bun, @choigore, @danyxthirstae01, @hellishmoons, @lix-ables, @skz317cb97.

a/n. this was supposed to be out for his bday, but life happened. nevertheless, hope you guys enjoy!! reblogs are great, all writers appreciate them incredibly 🤍

synopsis. it hasn’t stopped raining for weeks. as you enter his life, as you walk out of it. he just needs one chance with you.

Cold, empty—wet.

A city devoid of sun, in a constant state of mourning. Century old buildings with their Victorian architecture and smell of humidity, the eternal reconstruction that makes it impossible to enter them, a church with no door, a river without bed, a shop with nothing to sell. They might as well be part of the scenery, now and forever. Occupied space and not much else.

There had been a point in time, though, and this is the part that’s important to Seungmin. There had been a time when these grand structures held great power over people—artists, especially. Endless sketches of the fabrications can be found in the Public Library, a place he used to visit quite frequently before he opened his business. Blueprints of the interior, books about the conformation and infrastructure going on and about continually, pages creating volumes, creating noteworthiness, establishing history.

He wonders if you’ll come today.

Kim Seungmin was born in Seoul, Korea on September twenty-first to a doctor mother and architect father. He strived tirelessly for most of his childhood and adolescent life for more than adequate grades, and a clean record, and when it was deemed appropriate, on the day after his seventeenth birthday, he left for London to join his sister at the University of Cambridge, an exemplary student with a bright future. He surprised everyone when instead of following in the footsteps of his parents and going for Medicine or Architecture, he chose Engineering with History of Art as his minor. A respectable career, granted, but not what he was supposed to do—not what had been predetermined for him.

Four years of nothing but rain, libraries, books, and dorm life, he’d finally graduated with Honors, and went to join the real world, with its many offers, all miserable and soul consuming. It didn’t take long for the masks to fall, the pretenses to seize. Seungmin was fucking over it, wanted nothing more to do with the path he’d led for all those years, nothing to do with his parents’ expectations, the appearances to be kept, the role he had to play, to maintain, so they can boast and gloat, and fill their bellies in their private fucking golf clubs, to their insufferable little friends with the pretty daughters, and the arranged marriages.

Yeah, fuck no.

What he did alternatively—he took a loan out. He opened a bookshop in Pimlico overlooking the Thames, and he never looked back. He lived with three roommates in a crammed-up apartment on Winchester Street, a tiny room with a twin bed, a desk and a refrigerator, until he was able to stand on his feet, and move somewhere nicer, somewhere private, and do not get him wrong, that took two entire years—years of learning the ropes of handling a business, of making orders, of studying his crowd and getting a feel of the area, and even then, sales weren’t booming, they weren’t even fucking flickering, till more café’s opened up, bringing people towards that part of the river, the hibernating one, with the sleepy tree branches looming over Seungmin’s head every time he walked to work. It was hard, being independent. But he did an excellent job hiding it, and after a while…well maybe he was just a natural pretender.

Eventually he got a bike. It was a used, secondhand thing, and he had to change the chain on it, but after that it worked just fine, so it was enough for him. With a ‘help wanted’ sign under his arm, pedaling the ten-minute ride to his shop, his only stop the local bakery where he purchases his warm cappuccinos and apple strudels every morning. The co-owner of the place, Han Jisung, always asks the same question upon arrival—the usual, then?

The usual. Seungmin was a creature of habit from a young age. He had to have a plan, an extensive list of steps to be taken, a routine. He thinks his life would’ve turned out completely different if he wasn’t like this; he would’ve ended up working a corporate job, a nine to five, sitting on a desk with a suit and tie, holding a briefcase, that kind of thing. Something simple, mind numbing. Instead, he chose the calendar, the extra assignments, the sleepless revisions. All which ended with him thousands of miles away, managing an establishment with no outside help. The point was—he needed to find someone immediately. He couldn’t possibly bear to manage everything on his own anymore, what with the seminars and people going in and out in a regular stream, only pausing for a couple hours at lunch time.

Sometimes, the strudel would go to waste. There’d be no time. Still, the usual. Why bother switching something that’s worked so well for so long?

“It’ll be raining for weeks, I heard. Better get yourself a raincoat if you want to keep riding that rusty bike of yours,” his friend advised him, handing him his order with a tight-lipped smile.

Seungmin mirrored his expression. “Will do, mate. Thanks for this.”

“No problem. Hey, don’t forget—you, me, the guys. Friday evening. Drinks at The Morpeth Arms.”

Here’s the thing. Seungmin never forgot, he wasn’t the forgetful type; in fact, he had a spectacular memory, something that helped him immensely during his academic career, and earned him a few nods of amazement, the casual ‘memory of an elephant, this one.’ No, Seungmin just hated social events, especially the ones that included drinking yourself into a stupor, traveling in packs holding on for dear life, and paying an enormous amount of money just for your liver to turn black later on. He’d rather be at home, eating comfort soup, watching his home country’s drama shows, and falling asleep on the couch, glasses inadvertently positioned on the very tip of his nose, every single time.

Yeah, Seungmin never forgot. He just had other things to do. Something warned him though, that he might not be able to get out of this one. Undeniably so. He’s bailed on his friend group more than two times in a row, had no good excuse for it today.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he replied, waving a quick goodbye, and making a run for it.

“Don’t just see, Kim Seungmin. Do!” he heard the boy yelling after him, but he had already passed the threshold of the bakery, securing his things in the basket on the front of the bike.

Jisung was a force to be reckoned with. Same age as him, of Korean descent as well, a graduate of the Royal Academy of Culinary Arts, he took over his mother’s bakery and revamped the entire place, a smart move, which turned out to work in his favor, tripling the monthly profits in the first six months of reopening. Things seemed to just…go well for him, whatever he did, something Seungmin envied, but tried his hardest to learn from. It's always been him, Seungmin, and Hyunjin, an Art major, currently in his last year of school, ever since he came to England. Jisung had an ex-girlfriend attending Education classes at the same university as the bookshop owner, and Hyunjin would tag along only with the promise that he’d be able to stay in the premises and sketch the gardens.

Eccentric at times, the two of them, but the interesting kind, the kind that makes you want to stick around just to witness where it is all heading. Although they could get quite annoying when they wanted to…

He unlocks the wooden door with the glass pane, the intense smell of books hitting him at once. Moving in the familiar area, he makes sure to secure his bike along the wall, so it doesn’t slip and hurt any customers, and goes to turn on the lights from the panel in the back, resting his breakfast on top of the checkout secretaire.

The small bookshop lights up like a tree at Christmas, the fairy lights he’d installed earlier in the year hanging gracefully amongst the bookshelves running from floor to ceiling, stacks upon stacks decorating each section, all alphabetized and in categories, all carrying a purpose. Seungmin fixes his glasses on his face, running a careful hand through his parted hair, before removing his brown coat, rolling the sleeves of his white, crisp shirt high up on his forearms, and getting to work.

There’s a sort of ambience he particularly enjoys, a specific scent to accompany the unique odor of books, of yellowed out pages or alternately, of freshly published novels, recently sewn together, a big section of them in front of the big window as soon as you enter, with an exclusive segment of Seungmin’s Top Ten Picks of the Month. More lights along the walls, lantern looking designs, made specifically to give off a vintage overtone to his business, and a couple velvet armchairs in the corners, with decent sized tables, and candles on each side to provide a moment of relaxation for the customers.

Cinnamon and vanilla. A tiny tea and coffee cart next to his workspace for anyone that cared for it, always filled and ready to be taken advantage of. When Seungmin cared for something, he took it to the absolute extremes, made it part of him entirely, took care of it tenderly, tended to it regularly. This is why, he thinks, he succeeded in marketing this place. Because it isn’t just a means of income for him, because he’s genuinely a book lover, an avid reader. Because this is the inside of his soul, perfect to a T.

He starts the playlist on his tablet, lowers it to a gentle hum, and stands for a minute, taking in the warm palette of colors around him, sipping on his coffee, tasting the apple wrapped in puff pastry. It’s exquisite, as always, Han really has a fucking talent, he thinks as he peals the sticker off the sign he picked up from the printer shop earlier, sticking it on the storefront window, capital black letters in Times New Roman looking outside.

Hopefully, someone will show up within the week. In the case no one’s interested, well—he’s fucked. No plan B there. He counts on the broke students pacing up and down these streets daily to fill in the position. No one else in their right mind would work at a bookshop, of all places of employment, and for that he won’t dare fault them, not one bit. He can pay a fair wage, but it’s nothing to start a proper life, he’s aware of that. It doesn’t change the fact.

A little after ten, it starts raining; the fat, gray clouds he saw looming over him on his way there, finally giving way to fat droplets of water, drenching everything in their wake, a blurry watercolor painting. Seungmin sighs, leaning back on his chair, as he checks off inventory and researches up-and-coming authors to feature for next month. He accepts that it might be a slow day, and gets comfortable in his seat, yawning and stretching his limbs.

You enter in disarray, dripping water everywhere, closing a bright colored umbrella halfway in your attempt to shut the door behind you. The tote bag is the first thing he notices, it looked heavy on your shoulder, worn down. Then your coat, a deep emerald green, an entire forest, how it looks from above, and then finally your face as you turn to him, your expression bewildered, staring down at him like a deer in headlights, slightly confused, but not lost, not entirely.

There you are.

“Good morning,” he greets, no other words present in his brain. How peculiar. He adds a soft smile, for good measure.

Normal. Nice job, Kim Seungmin.

“Dreadful, isn’t it?” you say, and he guesses you refer to the rain, so he nods, watching you observe his establishment with curious eyes, leaving your umbrella behind as you walk over to the bookshelves. “It smells nice here. Are you the owner?”

Seungmin stirs, stands up straight, his tablet forgotten in his hands. “Yes,” he mutters, doesn’t sound sure of it. “Yes, I am,” he repeats, louder this time.

You hum and disappear behind a row. He finds himself leaning to find you again, stare at you a bit longer. He snaps out of it almost immediately, clearing his throat. Three things, he grounds himself.

One, the beautiful girl from last time had just entered his shop, yet it felt more like she’d shook through the foundations of the building and was coming for his very life.

Two, said pretty girl rendered him stupid two seconds in your interaction. What did that say about him as a person? He wasn’t usually like this. He’s had dates, and girlfriends, but they never felt like this—a blow to his stomach.

Three. He absolutely fucking needed to learn your name.

“Are you looking for anything specific?” he asks, nervous, wanting to cut through the tension he felt overtaking his entire body.

“Mythology classics!” your voice is an echo, a perfect ring of a pitch, reverberating through him.

He gets up at once, jumping at the chance to be useful to you, and crosses the shop, closing the distance between you. You’re skimming through a thick book unrelated to what you’ve just told him, your eyes moving on the pages. He doesn’t dare disturb you, not at first, but then the more he looks at you, the more he can feel his heart attempting to jump out of his fucking chest, so he deems it dangerous business, and breaks the silence. Your hair is wet, he finds, he sees. He wants to dry it for you.

Dangerous fucking business.

“Those would be on the other side, after poetry,” he informs you, and your gaze devastates him. It’s bright, it’s glorious, it’s a place he’d want to explore, dive into, and lose himself forever.

It’s looking up at him, waiting for him to lead the way. He blinks and moves. Your perfume is something light and floral and Seungmin wants to offer you coffee with sugar, give you books for half off, hire you part time, let you consume him. What a strange feeling to have for an absolute stranger, serving your heart on a silver platter over a mere ‘hello,’ and hoping they’ll accept it.

It terrifies the living shit out of him.

“Thank you for showing me. I loved this place when I came last time—I thought you just worked here. It’s hard to find what I’m looking for elsewhere,” you give him an excited smile, bending at the knees in front of the small section to pick out what you need.

He wants to know everything about you. “Are you a student?”

“English lit, fourth year. Aha!” you jump up, and Seungmin steps back, surprised. You wave the paperback cover in his face. “The Oresteia. Need to write a dissertation on it.”

Seungmin speaks as if in a trance, quoting the play he knows by heart. “‘This was always going to happen. She’s been dead since the beginning.’”

You’re beaming, buzzing, electrocuting him. Then you go right back down, your search not over yet. “You’d read this? It is quite extensive, is it not, and you need to watch out for the translations, some are over complicated, and hard to understand…”

“I enjoy the classics,” he admits, shyly. “You’re welcome anytime around here. To browse, or…whatever. And if you can’t find something, let me know. I’ll order it for you.”

“You’re too kind, bookshop owner, aren’t you?”

Seungmin stares, stares, stares—at the top of your head, at your elegant hands reaching for the spines of the books, flipping them over, inspecting them. He prided himself on his eloquence, his extensive knowledge of words, his friends sometimes teased him, called him a ‘walking dictionary,’ but what does he do with all this, when he must force his throat to open, unable to voice those same words he’s studied over the years, grown familiar with. They’re all traitors to him now, he will never depend on them again. Ridiculous, what’s happening.

You’re a customer. He shouldn’t be treating you any more than, any different. Why then did that one, singular smile of yours make a home in him, right under his ribcage? He pictured butterflies erupting behind you, wild in color, beautiful in their movement, flying too close to the fairy lights. This was unreasonable. It would wreak havoc in him, rearrange his world view, have him fantasize about things that could not be, should not be. Your lips, he thinks.

Cherry flavored.

“What’s your name?” he caved in. He wanted to pull you up, feel you under his touch, see for himself if you were real.

You got up once again, two more books in your hands, as you tilted your head in question, strands of hair falling in front of your perplexed face. “Do you always ask your customers for their names?”

Seungmin swallowed. He’d been caught. What he had—honesty. “Only you.”

You smiled again. He almost clenched his chest. “Good save. I’m (Y/N).”

He repeated it internally. (Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N) …he imagines it rolling off his tongue, your body under his, those delicate wrists pinned above your head, whispering it to you again, and again, and again.

Fuck him.

“Seungmin,” he extends his hand for you to take, trying really hard to conceal what contact with you would do to him.

He’s defenseless against his own desires, he realizes. He’s never wanted to take someone as his own so badly before. His mind was in overdrive, completely overwhelmed. You’ve exposed him, laid him bare—have your way with him. He’d do anything, he decides right then and there. Anything. Say the word and he’s yours.

You take it, kickstarting a whole new series of events and catastrophes inside him.

“Well, Seungmin, I’m done here, and I have class in about ten minutes, but I’ll pass by again soon, yeah? Ring me up, won’t you?”

You brush past him walking up to the register, and he’s left watching your figure slip away from him, so easily, no further regard to him, that forest green coat of yours flowing around you, your boots stomping with certainty. A fucking vision, you were. Stomping your way into his shop, into his life, into his heart. Oh, what is reason? What are words?

Metamorphoses, The Oresteia, Theogony. What you purchase. He hands you the books, per your request, and you slide the tote bag down to your arm, shoving the books in there at once. He watches all this, in awe, speechless, afraid to let you go, knowing he can’t beg you to stay longer. It’d be weird. And slightly creepy, he thinks but it’s more of an afterthought. He notices he doesn’t really care—anyone that would grant him the wish to stare at you more, to marvel at your cute features.

“It was nice to meet you!” You grab the umbrella again and rush out of his life, the same you stumbled in.

He watches in mystified delight.

‘Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient,’ he remembers reading once.

He becomes half water. He waits.

Friday comes. Seungmin decides to go to the Arms, straight for them, no second thought about it, one and done, but then he procrastinates getting dressed, looks for his watch for ten minutes, and his keys are nowhere to be found, so he takes that as a sign he shouldn’t go. It’d be bad if he went. He shouldn’t go.

Then he remembers he doesn’t believe in the signs of the universe and locks his apartment behind him.

Two beers, then he’ll go home, he tells himself. Just enough so his friends can’t say anything to him, can’t be mad at him, will stop calling him incessantly, whining about how he’s neglecting them so, and what kind of a mate are you, Kim, not a very good one, eh?

Seungmin thinks he’s a pretty good lad, actually. He helped Hyunjin move this past summer and has offered many a solution to Jisung’s never-ending on-and-off relationship with that indecisive girlfriend of his. Hasn’t committed a crime in his life, not even a petty one, not a traffic light. He’s never littered in all the years he’s been conscious about his person. He’s been an upstanding citizen, and a supportive friend. He’s just a bit of a homebody, and when has that ever hurt anyone, really.

The pub is filled to the brim by the time he arrives, incredibly loud, with a game playing in the background. He finds Jisung easy enough and goes to him, to that table he frequents all the way to the wall by the bar and slips his coat off wearing it on the back of the chair.

“Couldn’t have picked a Sunday, yeah?”

Jisung claps his shoulder and shakes his head. “You’d complain about any day of the week, Min, so just sit here and look pretty like you do. Hyunjin’s bringing us drinks.”

The baker’s hair had faded to a light brown from the August sun back in Seoul, his yearly vacation, and just as Seungmin is about to make a joke about it, Hyunjin enters his vision holding three pints of beer, muttering excuse me’s to the table next to them. Blonde hair, soft looking cardigan, tall, long limbs and all, full scholarship artist-to-watch-out-for Hwang Hyunjin, on his way to an amazing career.

“Would you look at who the cat dragged in—my God, Kim Seungmin, is that really you? Gracing us with your majesty’s presence? I must be dreaming!”

His ‘majesty’ sighed and grabbed the beer, an unamused look on his face. “You know, surprisingly, this isn’t making me want to show up any more than it makes me want to dump both of you and find new friends. About time, I say,” he drawled. “Cheers!”

The two men looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Cheers, fuck it,” Jisung exclaimed.

Hyunjin turned elegantly in the chair, legs crossed, mischievous expression on. “What have you been up to, huh? Who’s the girl?”

Seungmin froze, then reassured himself they had no idea about you, and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose—a habit that gave him away. The blonde ‘aha!’’d and bumped his elbow against Jisung’s, giddy as ever.

“See, I knew it.”

Jisung didn’t look particularly convinced, though. “Where would he even meet a girl, Hyun? The only dates he’s been on for the past year have been with his TV.”

“Ouch, bro.”

He wasn’t wrong, yet Seungmin wanted to let him know—about the girl that walked into his bookshop, has swept him off his feet. Just so he stops talking shit, just so it can finally set on him; that you’re real, that you happened. How you will never stop happening from now on.

Instead, he scoffed. “Fuck you, Han. You’re one to talk with that toxic shit you’re pulling.”

Jisung had the audacity to look shocked, and even appalled at the accusation. “I’m hurt you think I’m somehow at fault with how I’m being treated. I should just break it off once and for all, show you fuckers.”

Hyunjin casually sipped on his beer, palmed a few sunflower seeds. “It’s not about showing us—it’s about showing yourself, baby.”

Seungmin chuckled at that, chuckled even harder at Jisung’s blown out face, with the puffy cheeks and the big, wide eyes. He’d missed this, how carefree it all felt. It brought back memories, reasons why these people were close to him, why he could never get rid of them. They kept him sane. And gained him points with the ladies—Jisung’s humor, and Hyunjin’s angel features were a double threat. He just completed the group with the boy next door vibe, and sharp styling choices.

“Where’s Jeongin?” he asks, opening the bag of crisps laid out on the table.

“Late night studying, he’s already driving himself against a wall,” Hyunjin replies, a seed between his teeth.

“Chris has a late session, as well,” Jisung adds. “Music majors—perfectionists.”

It was at that point that you walked in. Seungmin hadn’t noticed you, not until his friends looked towards the door, and then looked again, making him curious. It was indeed you, he concluded after blinking several times, you, the most beautiful fucking girl in there, searching for empty tables with—a guy. A guy taller than you, taller than him, and fuck him, he didn’t need to see that, he didn’t have to know who you hung out with, if you had a boyfriend and how long you’d been together—he could do without all those things.

But now they’re overtaking all available space in his mind. Now there’s green inside him, eating away, molding, rotting away everything, and he’s jealous, he’s jealous, he wants you, he wants you alone, single, to himself, forever—

“She’s cute, no?” Jisung comments and nudges him.

For a moment, just for a moment, Seungmin takes off his glasses and glares at his best friend, filled with fury and green, green, green, but then he comes to his senses, reasons that Jisung hasn’t got a clue who you are, what you are to Seungmin, and so with that he breathes. He breathes and downs his beer, fuck the crisps, fuck the plan.

“It’s her,” he confesses.

Hyunjin leans in, suddenly very interested, and Jisung furrows his eyebrows, clearly confused. “What do you mean?”

Seungmin looks at you again, sees the hand around your waist, the casualness of the movement, and doesn’t want to jump into conclusions, doesn’t want the conclusions to jump him, but he’s fairly certain, he’s almost a hundred percent—

“The girl that’s kept me away, let’s say.”

At first, “No fucking way,” but then Hyunjin studied his friend’s expression, the unwavering gaze, the set of his mouth, the defeated slump of his shoulders, and his head tilted, his own mouth hung open, stared.

“I’ll be fucking damned,” he deadpanned.

“But who’s that dude, then?” Jisung questioned, hanging off the edge of his seat, thirsty for the gossip.

“No idea.”

“How’d you meet her?”

“Customer.”

“Kim Seungmin!” Hyunjin gasps, a hand on his chest, over his heart. “The scandal!”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. Is she aware of your feelings?”

Just as Seungmin was about to answer, the entire pub breaks out in boo’ing, the team on the TV losing dramatically, the place vibrating, and his fists tighten at the sound, his whole body alert, aware of you, in the same space as him, outside of the magic of his bookstore, outside of the owner/customer dynamic.

“I’ve only seen her twice, Han. My feelings don’t even make sense to me.”

A devilish smirk spread across the blonde’s face. “I think you want to fuck her, Min. This sounds like an attraction to me.”

Jisung slaps his hand on the table and points at his face, nodding his head. “That’s an excellent observation, my dear Hyun. Kim, you just need to get her out of your system.”

Seungmin groans and gets up, grabbing his empty glass of beer. “Shut the fuck up. Anyone need a refill?”

The men glance at each other’s half empty beers, slightly concerned. “We’re good, mate.”

The truth was, he had thought about the possibility. What he’s felt for you he hasn’t felt for anyone, not this strong, not this constant, even in your absence, especially in your absence. You should’ve been just another English literature student shopping for books to him. That should’ve been it.

It wasn’t. It didn’t feel like it could be.

Waiting for the beer, he dared a peek at you. You sat with your back facing him, your head thrown back at something that guy had said, the other members of your party smiling brightly at you. Your hair was down, moved with you. Seungmin could bring your scent forth in his mind, the flowers, the sweetness that surrounded you. It physically hurt to ignore you, to pretend this wasn’t killing him. He needed more, he needed to pull you away, he needed to vomit all this out; the attraction, as Hyunjin eloquently put it, the heart stabbing, the turning of his stomach—the fucking boner he got first time he saw you in that dainty dress of yours.

He needed you to know, to make a decision. He wouldn’t sit still, there’d be no sleep for him until he did something about it, until you were aware of this, whatever the fuck it was, also.

“I’ll come back for this,” he informs the bartender, and his feet carry him before he’s even concluded thinking about it before he even sets on it.

“Excuse me,” he says loudly. The entire table turns to him. You turn to him.

“Bookshop owner!” you grin at him, and he’s at ease at once. He doesn’t need anything else. “What a coincidence. How have you been?”

You’re kind, then, you don’t shun him away. He’s chosen well. Seungmin feels his heart blooming, expanding, threatening to take over. You’re kind to him. You don’t know him, not as well as he wanted you to, but you still chose decency. Did he deserve it with the thoughts currently swimming in his head? Probably not.

He spares one glance for the hunk of a guy sitting opposite you, only one, not more than that, because he might be half his size, but Seungmin had always been exceptionally strong whenever he deemed it necessary. Then his eyes are back on you, and God, why did he ever look away?

“I’ve been well,” he touches his glasses. Catches himself. “Could I please steal you for a moment?”

Your eyes widen a bit, hands holding the table, ready to pounce on your feet. “Sure, but why? Is everything okay?”

Seungmin nods, offering you a soft smile and his hand. “Everything’s fine. It’ll only be a moment.”

“Okay,” you turn to your friends. Seungmin looks at his, already staring at him. Hyunjin winks. Seungmin blinks.

“I’ll be back guys.” You grab his hand, bringing him back, setting him on fire.

He tries to hide, push it all down, away from you, because he needs to be careful. One wrong move, he tells himself. One wrong move and that’s it. He opens the door for you, walks out after and into the chill of a September night. At least it’s quiet, at least he can hear himself think. One wrong move, it repeats, one wrong move…

“I apologize for taking you away from your friends,” he starts, walking to the side of the building to stand under a birch tree, almost completely devoid of leaves by that point. You follow, patient, kind.

“Oh, that’s—” you wave your hand, pft’ing. “They’re just classmates. We’ll be working together for a while.”

Just classmates. Seungmin stands up straight to that, in his full height. Just classmates you say, but that hand didn’t look friendly, that hand looked exactly how Seungmin feels about you, protective, territorial. You thought nothing of it, because that’s who you were, he could tell, you didn’t take things too seriously, you were alive, kind, kind, kind, what was another word—innocent.

He licked his lips, gathering the courage required to say what needed to be said, what needed to spill out his chest. He stood close, you stood closer. You were oblivious. For Heaven’s sake. This would be the hardest thing he ever had to utter.

“I—have no other way to say this, (Y/N) so, please just—fuck,” he chokes out a breath, looks you right in the eye. “I’m completely enamored by you. You have all control over this, you can curse me and walk away right now. But you need to know. I want to take you out.”

At first you just stared at him, the words slowly registering in your ears. Then, you opened your mouth to speak—closed it. Then opened it again, taking a step towards him. He remained in his place, hands in his pockets, afraid he’d reach out otherwise. He had no right, not until you gave him permission.

“You’re very handsome, you know that?” you say, placing a hand on his cheek. He doesn’t breathe, he doesn’t think. Your eyes are dark against the backdrop of the moon. Nothing moves. “And sweet, and interesting. I’m—nothing in particular. Seungmin, you’d get bored of me.”

“Never,” he’s quick to retort. “You’ve no idea what you’ve done to me, have you darling? From the moment you walked in my shop—that was it. I was done for.”

You shook your head, your fingers stilling in their caress, your hand goes to drop—his own shoots out, holds it, keeps it there, wills it to stay, desperate to show you.

“You really are very sweet,” you inhale. “No one’s ever said they want to take me out. No one’s asked.”

Seungmin doesn’t understand why, doesn’t want to ponder over it. He’s here now, and he wants you. He’d show you; he swears.

“I’m saying it. Go out with me, darling. If you hate it, you don’t have to see me ever again.”

You smile at that, your lips quivering. “Shame. I really like your bookstore.”

He smiles back. “I really like you.”

You bite your lip, and then you nod. “Okay.” A moment. “Could you kiss me, Seungmin?”

He needn’t be told twice. Pulling you closer by that arm extended on him, he closes in around you, smashing your lips together. It takes everything in him not to groan into your mouth, the softness of you, your smell, all driving him crazy, all intoxicating him, rendering him unable to think straight. You melt into him, something he loves, and he guides the kiss, his arms wrapping around that waist that he’s seen being claimed, bunching the fabric of your shirt in his fist, tightening his grip around you, devouring you.

He'd like to slip inside you, fuck slow, deep strokes into your cunt, bring you into a state of deliriousness with his cock. He can already imagine how good you’d take him, how you’d open for him. Buried in between his thighs—Heaven. Seungmin walks you to the bark of the tree and pushes you against it, deepening the kiss, his tongue pushing past your lips, exploring your mouth, tasting the ale you’d been drinking. He’s having incoherent thoughts now, nonsensical things; how he’d like to drink you, let the very flavor of you invade the top of his mouth, fill his senses, allow you to run down his throat, sip into his every pore. Fuck him, he’s whipped, isn’t he?

“There’s no going back from this, darling,” he pants against your mouth. “I’m never getting over you—never getting over this taste.”

You pull him back in. “I don’t want you to,” you whisper, your lips curving.

“Sunday, after six. Come,” he mutters, his fingers tangled in your hair, holding your head in place. You gaze up at him. “Promise me.”

“I do. I promise,” you kiss him again. “I’ll come.” Again, and again, and again.

Another day spent waiting.

By noon Seungmin thinks you won’t show. That it was all a lie, perhaps an illusion of the full moon and one too many drinks. Then he checks out a freshman buying The Iliad, a tote bag on his shoulder, the warm scent of cinnamon coming from the pale cup he’s holding, and he’s sure you will.

You happened, you will.

Oh, to trust that someone won’t drain the blood from your heart. A treacherous road.

He must’ve drank three cups of coffee by the time the stream of customers slows down, signaling lunch time. He digs for the wanted pamphlet in his drawer of take-out menus, and calls the number at once, ordering a barbeque chicken pizza with a side of cheesy bread. As he glances outside, clouds gathering already, the sky gray, dull, Seungmin throws his head back, sighing deeply, and listens to the cashier informing him of his total at the point of delivery.

“Thank you,” he says and hangs up. ‘Do you know if she’ll come,’ he wants to add, but he doesn’t, because that’d be crazy, nonsensical. Still, the question—it stands.

He breaks down boxes, organizes book labels and invoices, and even dusts the shelves. Five pizza slices and a heartburn later, Seungmin sinks back into his chair, and decides that time will not help him today. The anxiety is eating at him, at the tips of him, like a parasite, slowly making him sick, feverish. He won’t be able to keep this up for long, he wishes he’d told you to come earlier, maybe this way this endless questioning would’ve stopped by now, maybe the heartbreak would’ve been easier to swallow with people around. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle closing down shop with no trace of you.

God, the waiting. Seungmin doesn’t like doing this, has only done it once before–he takes the scotch out, a bottle he’s kept since opening this place, and drinks two big gulps of it. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he thinks he might have to daydrink his way to getting you out of his mind. And the rejection. And the outline of your body on his. No other way about it. Alcohol or going mad, his two options.

Fuck him.

The clock on the wall behind his desk says five minutes to six. By that point he has no hope, no patience, no heart, no will–no scotch. He drags himself over to the door to flip the sign from ‘open’ to ‘closed,’ and he leaves nothing but the fairy lights on, an indication that the shop is closed, but someone’s still inside.

He’s not drunk but he’d like to be. One thing about Seungmin, why he doesn’t like drinking–it does nothing for him. His damn tolerance is too high. He can drink and drink and drink, but it will make no difference. Only thing he’ll be left with is a dehydrated, scratchy throat; more of an annoyance than a relief.

Seungmin sweeps, mops, then proceeds to put every single book in the wrong area back to its original place. That should take him a good while, he thinks, definitely–it doesn’t. It takes him ten minutes, because this is his store, he knows it inside out, he’s done this hundreds of times before, and why aren’t you here? You should’ve been here by now.

The glasses come off. He won’t go down that road, he can handle rejection, he’ll move on, you’re just–well, you’re…unforgettable. Haunting. All he can think about, all he wants, all he craves. Outside is pouring, thunder cracking, always a blurry watercolor painting now describing what’s going on internally, draining away any opportunity of you showing up. He tells himself he’ll stay until the rain calms down, until it’s safe to ride his bicycle.

He tells himself he will never get over you, but that the water will eventually wash you away. It has to. It’s six-thirty and you are nowhere to be found. A little more. He’ll wait a little more. Out of desperation if nothing else. He won’t be afraid to admit. He kissed you, he tasted you. He’ll wait. You’ll come, you have to. You kissed back. You–

You’re standing right there. Drenched, shaking that god awful umbrella, looking through the glass, pushing the door open–spilling into his bookshop like nothing happened. Like before. Like a story repeating itself. Forest green coat, hair sticking to your face, disheveled expression.

“I’m late, aren’t I?”

Are you? Seungmin’s knees almost give way. He exhales shakily, blinking at your drowned figure. You’re not. You’re not. You’re right on time.

“You’re soaking wet,” he notes, and comes back to life, taking long strides towards you.

You chuckle nervously, shivering, apologetic. He grabs the umbrella and leaves it by his bike, his hand staying in yours, tracing your fingers, feeling for himself that you’re really there, that you really came. You look up at him, wide eyed, mouth falling open, studying him.

“Better take this off,” he mutters, and waits for your approval. He removes the coat from your shoulders, shaking off the rain droplets, catching a whiff of that cologne he so adores. He’s a fucking animal, he can’t even be near you without his mind doing a complete one eighty on him.

“I’m sorry,” you start, watching him take care of you. “I…wasn’t sure if I should come.” His hands push your hair back, listening calmly. “Bookshop owner, I don’t–”

“Seungmin,” he cuts you off, his gaze snapping down to meet yours. “Say my name, darling.”

“Seungmin.” It’s breathless, it’s surprising. It’s perfect. His cock twitches in his tailored pants.

He bites his lip. “Will you let me remove your shirt, (Y/N)? You’ll catch a cold if you stay in these clothes.”

A single moment of silence, your eyes clouding with the same intentions. “Yes.”

He expertly undoes the buttons, exposing your white, lacy bra underneath, your breasts deliciously tucked in the cups, better than his dreams, better in every way because it’s reality. Seungmin wants to take his time with you, wants to take you out on a proper date, pay for you, make sure you’re having fun, that you enjoy being with him, establish a connection before he–

He thinks he can’t wait. He thinks if he doesn’t take you right here, right now he’ll fucking die. None of the internal struggle shows on his face. You wiggle off your shirt, and he lifts his arms to remove his vest. Picturing you in his clothes, in his shop, surrounded by your smell, and the smell of vanilla…a fucking dream. His Aphrodite, compliant under his touch, willing, those lips teasing, their pink tint inviting. Fuck it all to Hell. You look absolutely beautiful, the brown of the fuzzy fabric making you appear softer, if that’s even possible. He pulls you into his arms, falling victim to his own wants, his own desires. He holds you tight, your freezing body gradually warming up under his caress, flush against him.

“‘I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself,’” he quotes in your hair, his palm rubbing circles on your lower back, hoping you’d know. That you’d get it.

“Frank Kafka,” you answer with a breathy laugh. “‘What’s happened to me? It was no dream.’”

Something opens in his heart, tears itself out. There’s no stopping it. “My darling,” he whispers, and lifts you up. You gasp, his name falling from those lips. It happens fast, he walks you to the mythology section, in front of the window, a consequence he won’t think of until later, your back hitting the shelves, as your arms circle his neck. Seungmin kisses you, then. What’s there left to do? There are no words to describe this. You taste like rain and hard candy, and his fingers get lost in between your thighs, pushing aside fabric, and feeling the slick of your cunt. All reason escapes him, all but the sensation of your excitement for him on his digits. He kneels down, has to have a taste, needs to, for his sanity. His arm snakes around your ass and keeps you there, as his tongue comes in contact with your leaking pussy, lapping your juices, slurping loudly, shamelessly.

The back of your hand presses against your mouth, moans tearing through anyway. No one’s ever gone down on you, you didn’t even know how it felt, nevermind that it felt like this, wet and embarrassing, but so good, oh my God, so good, fuck, your fingers getting lost in the mop that is his hair, tugging, your breathing ragged, fast, your knees shaking, the smell of books engulfing you–

“You taste like Heaven,” he grunts, and his tongue gets replaced by his hand, as he makes his way back to your mouth. “Taste yourself, darling, see for yourself what you do to me, how am I supposed to stay away when–that’s right, fuck my fingers, go on, my love…”

There’s still water dripping from your hair, and he leans the side of his face on it, enjoying the coolness it provides while his entire body is on fire. You’re everywhere on him, he feels all of you, and his fingers curl inside you wanting that release, craving those broken moans he’s eliciting out of you to get louder, to deafen him, to fill the entire shop and stay, echoing over and over so he never forgets this moment, so he’ll always have you. You’re biting his neck, your nails digging on his shoulders, in his back, falling, going to his belt, coming to the buckle, undoing, all the while coming undone.

Right before you start spasming, he lifts you up again and slips inside you swiftly, cupping your face with one hand, his mouth taking yours in an open-mouthed kiss, cursing at how tight you fit around him. For one second, just one single moment, he does not move, no matter how much you want him to, no matter how you’re wiggling and arching, against all of his thoughts of fucking you into the bookcase to have and admire you whenever he wants. No, he marvels in the way his cock is throbbing inside you, all of you alight, in flames, and only then–only when you mouth his name, staring in his eyes desperately–only then he finally begins thrusting, causing you to wrap your legs around his torso, holding on for dear life.

“Is it supposed to feel like this–God, please, please don’t stop, never stop–”

Seungmin wasn’t planning to. Stopping was the furthest thing from his mind as his hips picked up pace, his thrusts angled, deep and hard, bottoming out every time, skin hitting on skin, your hot breaths mingling, mixing, one one one– You felt exactly how he imagined, and a thousand times better, Christ, your tits perfectly bouncing, your cunt squeezing him closer. Books fall, all around you, the sound of them magnifying what the two of you are doing, what’s in process, an altering of souls, because he knows this will never again be the same for him, this shop without you, it will always be more, more, more, he will fuck you over every surface, he will make you part of him, he swears, you’re never leaving, not when your juices are the only thing that can get him drunk, not when you sound this hot moaning his name, his name, it’s never vibrated through him like this before, a name, you make it holy, you make it matter–

“Cum with me, cum with me Seungmin, please, let me feel you, fuck, fuck, fuck–”

He’s your servant, he would do anything you asked. He comes with a ferocity unknown to him, panting, sweaty, holding on to you, drilling the last bit of cum deep within your walls, his hands holding, squeezing, digging into your waist, forehead on your sternum dropping soft, abenseminded kisses, and you let him. You let him, because you have no idea what the fuck just happened, you only know that it was the best thing, the rightest decision you’ve ever made in your entire life.

“You look so handsome without your glasses,” you compliment him shyly, smiling.

He carefully puts you down, adjusts your skirt, and tucks himself in his pants, before touching the bridge of his nose. There was nothing there. He chuckles, and his arms are around you again. He can’t bring himself not to touch you, can’t find a reason why he should stay away, put some distance. You belong in his arms, he concludes.

You belong with him.

“So, I’m not when I wear them?” he teases, his lips on your forehead.

A weak punch on his stomach. He hufs a laugh, moving back just a breath so he can stare down at your face. You look fucking beautiful. You look like you’re his.

“You’re like a sexy professor with them on, you know what I mean, or like a–”

He kisses you. He’s falling in love. He’s already fallen.

#stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids smut #seungmin scenarios #seungmin smut #seungmin fanfic #stray kids #stray kids seungmin #skz fanfic #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #—mine.

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jisungparker · 3 years ago

Text

switching up positions for you

pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

song: positions - ariana grande

themes: fluff, slight angst, smut (warnings below), fwb2l

snippet: you have always found it hard to be patient with people as stubborn as hyunjin. actually, scratch that. you’ve always found it hard to be patient with people, period. funnily enough, hyunjin seems to be the exception. 4k

warnings: switch!reader, switch!hyunjin, choking, dry humping, thigh humping, hand job, sexual exploration, mentions of pegging and cum eating, college!au, clubbing, alcohol mention

a/n: hi! it’s me, barbie! please talk + establish boundaries prior to sex. this is me being a lazy author but i don’t encourage this personally. it wasn’t meant to be this long or one part, but fpr flows sake, i wrote it this way. deffo considering a pt2 to expand. ok! lmk if i forgot warnings!

hyunjin isn’t dense. hyunjin knows he has an odd relationship with power. not necessarily unhealthy, but more so unusual- uncommon. but uncommon doesn’t mean unheard of, which doesn’t necessarily make it weird. and he knows that. he knows he isn’t strange, he’s just different. he’s still hyunjin. hyunjin isn’t dense. and neither are you.

in fact, you yourself are so far removed from the concept of density, that at times, hyunjin fears you might float away. with the level of commitment you assign to most things in your life - your studies, your clubs, your friends, your future - hyunjin can’t help but wonder what time you afford yourself. that’s where he thinks he comes in. with all the power you relinquish to your unending mass of duties, hyunjin steps in to take the reins, guide you at bit, lead the way. he orders you lunch when you forget, drives you places sometimes. one time, he faked a belly ache just to stop you leaving, in fear you would pass out from exhaustion. you know, little things.

but sometimes, when your busy schedule allowed and even the fast lane was bumper to bumper, hyunjin seizes the opportunity to show you how good it feels to relinquish all that power, all that control. hyunjin takes the place of every commitment you have and dwarfs them, however he sees fit. whether it be with a firm scolding or a firm squeeze to your throat; a heavy talking to or a heavy palm to your cheek; making you come to some sort of compromise, or simply cumming in every hole until you agree with him. he does what he can.

so no, hyunjin isn’t dense, and neither are you.

so hyunjin would love for you to explain why you’re sticking your tongue halfway down some guy’s throat in full view of all your friends, hyunjin included? and he’s sure you would love for him to explain why he’s dragging you away, ending the show you didn’t know you were giving as all your friends booed him.

and you would love to know why you’re outside, shaking in the cold but crowded smoking area while hyunjin hopes that cute guy on the dance floor forgets your name. because nothing is making sense, not the wind cutting your skin, not hyunjin’s hoodie around your shoulders, not the silence that settles between you. a silence you’re quick to break.

“hyunjin, what the fuck?”

“me, what the fuck? how about you what the fuck?”

“what do you mean what the fuck?” he fixes you with a hard stare that bleeds into his jaw, one that in another setting would do things to you. now? now it just pisses you off. “what the fuck is your problem?”

“we’re going home.”

“we? who is we?” you shout as he drags you back through the club, past the knowing eyes of your friends and to the exit. hyunjin has no idea you have other ideas though. ideas of staying, which you only make apparent once he’s already passed the bouncers, exiting the club. and you have not. “i’m not leaving, jin.”

“y/n, i’m not asking you again-”

“then don’t.” leaning over the rope, you hand him his hoodie, before disappearing back into the sweaty crowd.

hyunjin isn’t dense. but he’s sure as hell starting to feel that way.

[09:48] y/n: hey, i just saw lix

[09.49] y/n: he said u guys are having a party this weekend and to remind the girls

[09:49] y/n: because he thought u would’ve told me but then i realised we haven’t text since friday morning

[09:50] y/n: u good?

[14:23] y/n: lmaooooooooooooo

[14:23] y/n: i know u know i saw ur daddy long leg ass run when i walked over to u guys

[14:24] y/n: han’s saying ur pissed at me

[14:24] y/n: so i guess i shoulda asked, are WE good?

[19:33] y/n: u home?

[19:38] y/n: i’m omw

[19:44] jin: I’m not home.

[19:44] y/n: he lives!

[19:45] y/n: too late, open up

you don’t bother knocking, you just wait. and after a long minute, the door swings open to reveal the sweet enigma that is hwang hyunjin.

you step to enter his room, only to face plant his chest. “are you not gonna invite me in?”

“no.”

“okay.” you nod, sighing deeply. “will you at least tell me what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong.”

“hmm.” you have always found it hard to be patient with people as stubborn as hyunjin. actually, scratch that. you’ve always found it hard to be patient with people, period. funnily enough, hyunjin seems to be the exception. “uh okay, give me a sec.”

hyunjin watches you take your phone out and unlock it, your thumbs tapping away before you bring it to your ear. you watch his curiosity pique, his frown slowly morphing into confusion. “who’s that-”

“hey,” you start, lifting a finger to stop him. “yeah, yeah i’m here.” you take a quick step back as he reaches for your arm. “he’s saying nothing’s wrong.”

“who is that?” you roll your eyes at his attempts at a demand, his pout doing nothing to enforce it. “y/n-”

“it’s han, he says you’ve been moping around all week? says you’ve been cry-” hyunjin could easily overpower you. he knows this. you know this. he knows you know this. but only now do you realise that maybe hyunjin would rather it this way. maybe he’d rather it come out like this than actually admit that something is wrong. you hang up without thinking, watching his eyes well up. “are you crying?”

“no,” he sniffs, sleeve rubbing his eye. “and jisung doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“he seemed pretty sure.”

“oh did he? well then why don’t you go off with jisung then, seeing as he’s so pretty?” even as the question leaves him, he knows he sounds stupid. but he can’t help but feel stupid as his tears start to fall and you stroke his arm stiffly, visibly confused.

“hey, uh, it’s okay.” you and hyunjin aren’t like this. you’re feisty, borderline aggressive. he calls you names, you act out and he punishes you for it. hyunjin fucks you until you apologise, most times until you cry. and then hyunjin comforts you. not the other way around. never the other way around. but it feels time to push past that. to see that hyunjin isn’t all hard edges and sharp corners. that at times he too needs someone to care for him. “let’s go inside.”

he lets you in this time. his room had always been surprisingly tidy. for a guy his age, you wouldn’t expect as much. but it’s always refreshing every time you enter. the levanter banner over his bedside, the red lava lamp he won freshman year, your skin care tucked away in the corner. you turn after dropping your bag to find him hovering by the door, his eyes fixed on you.

“sit down.”

it’s an odd sensation, watching hyunjin move at your command. he realises this and stops half way, glaring slightly. “you sit down.”

“i want to see you,” you explain, laughing as you kneel beside his bed.

he stuffs his tongue in his cheek, the apples of them warming as he feels his stubbornness peaking through. “okay.”

when he’s finally sat, you realise you hadn’t thought this far ahead. you hadn’t thought past getting in, and definitely not the possibility that hyunjin of all people would cry in front of you. but you think it’s time to be honest, to quit playing dumb. to show hyunjin the respect he deserves.

“that guy on friday night,” hyunjin looks away when you begin, his jaw tensing slightly until you squeeze his thighs, a silent plea for his attention. “his name is san. i know him from intermediate spanish.”

“cool, and i care because..?”

“i don’t know,” you shrug, watching his gaze harden. “i was kinda hoping you’d tell me.”

it’s his turn to shrug, huffing, “i don’t care who you’re fucking, y/n. we’re not together.”

“then why are you mad?”

“i’m not!” he stands suddenly, pacing. with no trace of tears left, you just find a simmering rage. “i’m just- you said i’m the only guy you’re fucking.”

“no, i didn’t.”

“uh, yes. you did.”

“no,” you laugh, stepping in front of him to stop his pacing. “i said you’re the only guy i let fuck me.”

“exact-”

“you’re not listening, jin. i let you fuck me. san let’s me fuck him.” when you get nothing from him, you groan in exasperation, “what’s not clicking?”

“are you calling me stupid?”

“no, jin,” you sigh, “i just feel like you’re being purposefully dense-”

he’s got you by the throat in a second, your thighs pressed to his desk, his pressed to your core. “what did you just call me?”

the words wither into nothing when his grip tightens, eyes darkening as your mouth hangs open.

“five seconds with someone else, and you forget how to behave, huh?” your eyes gleam when they find his, a mocking pout on his plump lips. “i almost feel sorry for him.” he laughs, licking his lips when he feels you gulp against his palm, his teeth catching your bottom lip. “are you this bratty with him?”

“it’s not like that,” you rasp, eyes still shining. when he sees defiance in your glare, his heart aches at your obvious attachment to the other man.

“then what is it?” why him? why not me? “is it love?”

“no.” you deny, clinging to him as he loosens his grip. “it’s nothing, hyunjin.”

“you don’t have to lie to me-”

“i’m not.” he softens slightly, though he still searches for deceit. his eyes scan your face, taking in the tenderness of your features, the gleam in your eyes, the words on your tongue.

“then why? why-” he pauses, moving his hand to your neck, cradling your head. “why am i not enough?”

“you are.”

“don’t lie to me.” he watches you gulp, your confidence waning as his eyes pierce through you. searching. “what does he have that i don’t? wh-what does he give you that i can’t?”

you’re not sure how to answer that. not for lack of assuredness but rather a lack of knowledge. you know what you want, who you want. he’s five foot ten of flesh and bone. he looks good without trying. he’s the lead in levanter’s dance squad, is surprisingly uncoordinated and embarrassingly goofy but worth his weight in gold. he sings to you when he’s drunk, let you die his hair pink when you failed your midterm and, he fucks you within an inch of your life.

you want hwang hyunjin. exactly as he is. with everything he comes with. but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other things you want. like the freedom to watch cult horror classics without him turning them off half way through or to berate him for ordering you around. you’d love the chance to tease him past flirty banter, make his skin tingle. to make him cum all over himself, then make him taste it. oh, how you want to take him from the back, hear him cry your name over and over, watch him come undone, reduce him to nothing.

you want to fuck hyunjin.

so yes, you’re not sure how to answer him. but hyunjin isn’t dense. and neither are you. and you promised yourself to show him the respect he deserves. so you say it as plainly as one can.

“submission.”

though hyunjin doesn’t speak, you’re certain he heard you. his hand loosens almost entirely on your neck, his palm resting at its junction with your shoulder. his thumb meets your jaw, tilting your face towards him, his eyes holding yours. in them he finds defiance, a sight he’s used to seeing. one he only questions now, as you hold his gaze, his own beginning to falter. because within that defiance he sees it, what he’s never bothered to question, never bothered to believe.

you have an odd relationship with power. not unhealthy, but uncommon. it isn’t unheard of, it’s just new. new to him, new to you together as one. and you know that. and you think he knows too. because he isn’t shocked, or even turned off. he’s intrigued. he’s.. open. because it’s just different. and you’re still y/n. you’re still his.

“what-” he pauses nervously, no longer able to hold your gaze. “what do you want me to do?”

“kiss me.” he hesitates only slightly, unsure why he’s initiating it. you grin when his brows knit, adding, “we’re gonna go at your pace, okay?”

“okay.” he nods, finally understanding.

“kiss me.” you repeat, firmly.

he leans in instantly, his soft pout moulding around yours as he kisses you gently. it’s not too unlike kisses you’ve shared before, and yet, it feels entirely new. maybe it’s the pace, it’s slow, sensual. it gives him time to feel you, gives you time to explore. when your palm meets his chest, rubbing a path up to his neck, he tenses as you pull him down, allowing your tongue to delve further, really taste him. hyunjin thinks minutes pass like this, his body slowly melting into yours, his frame hunched as you gradually suck the dominance from him.

your hand finds his hip, pushing him toward the edge of his bed before you breathe into his mouth, “sit down.”

he moves without thinking, his knees folding as he sits on his bed, knees spread to welcome you. you oblige, caging him between your thighs, perched on his own.

“lie down.” and he does. his hair pooling beneath him, framing his face perfectly. he watches you play with it, trying to even out his breathing, unsure when it got away from him when you realise, “i never tell you how pretty you are.”

a flush spreads through his neck and cheeks, his head falling to the side, avoiding your intense gaze. “no, you don’t-”

the words get lost in his throat as you press your lips at its base, reeling as he moans. “i’ll make sure to now, okay?”

he just nods, clinging to the waistband of your jeans for dear life. your lips begin their journey up, sucking his skin into your mouth, marvelling at the sounds you can draw from him when he isn’t torturing you. but then you feel it, his grip tightening before he drags you along him, your core perfectly aligned with his clothed length, his eyes squeezing shut.

“jin,” his eyes open at your call. “no.”

“what?” he moves to do it again, his hips grinding up into you. when you kneel, lifting your core from him, he frowns, whining, “but i want to.”

“i know,” you grin at the ease with which he complains, how perfect he is at this. “but i said no.”

“and what if i don’t listen?” he tries, gripping you a touch harder, though making no attempt to defy you. “what if i’m-” it’s unlike him to be nervous around you. yet he can’t help enjoy it, the way you regard him, the way you treat him. he gulps as your brow rises, asking, “what if i’m bad?”

“if you’re bad, you don’t get what you want.” you shrug, stroking his forearms. “and i know how much you like getting what you want.” you lower yourself again when his hands go limp, grinding down on his bulge, watching his eyes roll shut, his teeth clamped around his lip. “so be a good boy for me, okay?”

“like san?”

he watches it wind you, the sound of his the other man’s name jarring you as hyunjin chooses to misbehave. except, from the slight hurt in your eyes, he thinks this may be a step too far. especially when you laugh in disbelief, nodding gloomily before climbing off of him completely.

“wait, y/n-”

“just- forget it, okay? i don’t think we should do anything until we move past the san thing.”

“what? what san thing?”

“the thing you’re making it! you obviously think it’s important enough to bring up when i’m trying to fuck you! so let’s stop.”

“no, i don’t want to stop,” you hear the slight panic in his voice, how he grabs you when you move for your bag. “i don’t want you to go.”

“then what do you want, hyunjin? because i’m not going to sit here while you make fun of me, i won’t-”

“make fun- i’m not making fun of you!”

“then why did you bring him up?”

“because-” it’s right there. and hyunjin wishes now more than ever that his intrusive friends would come to his rescue, phrase his thoughts and feelings in well thought out taunts. that maybe you’d realise he’d rather choke on his own tongue than just admit- “i’m jealous! okay?”

“jealous?” he groans at your tone, fearful you’ll make him repeat himself. “why would you be jealous? jealous of what?”

“of him! of you with him! of- the two of you, being like this!” he gestures between you two, his jaw clenching at the thought. “i hate that he got to see you like this, like i do. that he got to have you. that you-” he doesn’t want to say it, he doesn’t want to blame you. because he gets it, he gets it must be hard, telling someone your desires. but that doesn’t make him hate you any less for it. “i hate that you fucked him before you fucked me.”

you watch him for a moment. the rise and fall of his chest, his soft pants. the emotion painting his beautiful face: there you find pain and dread. you find confusion and jealousy. he’s jealous. hyunjin is jealous. but he’s open.

“so you- you do want this?”

he nods and then gulps, saying, “yeah. yeah, i want this. i want you.” you take a step toward him, warmed as he reaches for you. “i want you, y/n.”

“i want you too.” you confess, returning his relieved smile. “i only want you, hyunjin.”

“good,” he mumbles as you climb back onto him, lowering him down with a palm to his chest. “just me.”

“just you,” you whisper against his skin, tongue sliding up his neck as he hums, rolling his skin between your teeth. “it’s always been you, jin.”

“just me,” he’s breathless, limp beneath you. he can feel himself falling into a trance, your hands pressed to his chest for leverage as you grind your core over his bulge. his groan is garbled, wedging itself in his throat as you roll your hips into him. “y/n- oh my- fuck.”

“tsk,” you tut as he clamps down on his lip, his arm slung over his face to hide himself. you see a flush paint his neck, peeking out beneath his t shirt. he unfolds when your fingers find his lips, coaxing them from their restraint. “lemme hear you.”

“no,” he groans, humiliated. “i’m gonna be loud.”

“yeah?” you giggle, head tilting when he finally meets your eye. “lemme hear, jinnie.” he whines at his name, the endearment in your eyes. though he shakes his head side to side, he relents. letting a pathetic moan fill the air as you palm him through his sweats. “there he is.”

“ngh- right there.”

“what, here?” you grind the heel of your palm against his bulge, grinning as he keens, his body more responsive than you’d ever dreamed. “you like that, jinnie?”

“mm, yeah- feels good.”

“you know what else feels good?” you ask, watching his brows knit, his dark eyes cast on you. “choking,” he nods understanding, but definitely misinterprets it. “i mean, me choking you.” he has enough mind to be stunned, his eyes rounding, though you feel his hips grind up against your palm at its mention. “would you like to try that?”

“i-” it is unfair of you to play with him at a time like this, but the thought of stopping feels treacherous. but he nods, rubbing circles on your free hand before you bring it to the base of his throat. “i wanna try.”

“okay,” you whisper, nodding slowly. holding his gaze, you crawl over him, resting your thigh over his crotch. he looks down briefly, his hands clinging to the sheets. “go ahead,” you breathe into his mouth, lips slotting in as you lower your thigh, pressing down on his bulge. as he begins grinding up against you, he halts when you squeeze your thumb and four fingers around his neck, the slight pressure causing an unholy cocktail of pleasure. his jaw falls open, letting your tongue wander the expanse of his mouth as he groans around the muscle. “how’s that, jinnie?”

“it’s-” otherworldly, he wants to say, but words aren’t coming easy to him. thoughts aren’t coming easy to him. so he just nods the best he can, grinding down harder, kissing you harder, trembling beneath you. “i’m- i’m close-”

“mm?” you lean up to watch him, his body moving rhythmically as his pleasure consumes him. it’s truly a sight to behold. “you wanna cum, jinnie?”

“y-yes.” his jaw tightens every second you tease him, his dark, hooded eyes watching your lips curve, his spit painting them. he feels his orgasm preparing to rip through him, fearful it might snap him in two. “i wanna cum-”

“good boys say plea-”

“please,” he pleads, hand clasped around your wrist, wordlessly begging you to squeeze harder. “please-please y/n, please.”

“okay,” you relent with a smile, leaning down to kiss his bruised lips. “cum, baby.”

had you not been on top of him, you fear he’d convulse. his entire frame shaking as his orgasm tears through him, cum spilling into his sweats, seeping through to your jeans. you watch him moan, incoherent whines of your name passing through his bitten lips, saliva gargling as he tries and fails to even out his breathing. sweat lines his forehead, his hair sticking to his temples as he slowly comes down from euphoria.

when his eyes finally open, he finds you smiling.

“hey,” you try, running your fingers through his hair, leaning down to peck his lips. “you okay?”

“i’m great,” he laughs, only slightly embarrassed. “you?”

“never been better,” you confess, kissing him again, humming around his tongue. “let’s clean you up, yeah?”

“wait.” you pause, watching him carefully, relaxing when he leans up to gather your hair out your face. his cheeks haven’t evened out entirely, but you think you see his flush intensify. you’re only certain you did when he looks away then asks, “what- what else feels good?”

hyunjin knows he has an odd relationship with power. and he knows he isn’t strange, he’s just different. he’s still hyunjin. except, now he’s yours.

that’s why he matches your grin when you say, “loads.”

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #skz smut #jisungparker #i love this :)

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pigeonplays · 2 years ago

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i have so many thoughts about EA’s statement abt paywalled content, some of which conflict. something really needed to be done about completely unreasonable “early access” content (like a month or more for a public release??) perma paywalled cc, creators tracking and doxxing those who distributed the files. i think we forget that at the end of the day a lot of this community is young people, charging 20 bucks for 1 cc set is morally disgusting esp when the people paying these are probably mainly teenagers/college aged people, & EA is already bleeding us dry.

but also it sucks this will hurt modders who actually make the game so much better and put in so much effort (like lumpinou or cc creators releasing entire sets w very reasonable early access) i think the takes like “why did they ever depend on this as a job” etc are kind of hurtful, specifically abt people who actually put work in. i’m not talking abt slight mesh edits and stolen meshes,, but idk making mods & cc do take legitimately so much time and work, as a hopefully future artist who is hopefully going to be largely dependent on like youtube ad revenue, and very possibly something like Patreon, it is a little disappointing to see takes like “get a real job.” it makes it really clear people just don’t value specific type of work bc they don’t see it as legitimate. but it is totally possible i’m letting my future goals paint that view.

but also i’m equally tired of every single post on my dash being a early access piece of cc i wouldn’t get for weeks, and overall i think my take is just that i hate it ever got to this point. i wish that we never monitiezed this hobby community so deeply. i miss exchanging free cc on simblreen and when it felt like the biggest simblrs on the platform cared about the game, before they all just became patreon cc creators who only post when they’re promoting a cc pack. this isn’t meant to @ anybody in particular (except creators like f*lix and s*xam and others like that, fuck those guys fr.) but really just my late night musing abt how this community has changed since i first joined and a bit of sadness for the implications this will have on mod creators who are legit the saving grace to my game, but also that i’m glad that we finally will have some system for the really exploitive people. and some apprehension that this will actually stop those people and not just prevent aforementioned modders who do work hard.

#nonsims #pigeon noises #idk this is all just a lot!#sorry it’s so long i cannot be considerate with my thoughts once ever lol #***concise not considerate i’m so dumb!!!#mainly i just. hate that it ever got this point.#i wish we never monitized this hobby so deeply

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lixenn · 2 days ago

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kinda late but 18 for the oc number ask game? u know why i picked this number shgvfgcfd

You could never be late to any of my ask game shenanigans! Especially for this one, since I'm actually planning on shuffling the numbers again when I reach 40 OCs (<- cause I know I will reach that number it's inevitable OTL). That way it's always going to be a fun lil game with some mystery cause new numbers, new OCs! So there's no deadline, I'm always up to be bugged about my blorbos hehehehehe 🫡

Thank you so much for sending in a number (and yes I see why you picked it lmaoooo)

#18 Marina Costa (aka Dan's older sister)

I offer you a Marina doodle traditional style!

Honestly sketching her traditionally was so much fun! And I like the end result a lot better compared to the other time I tried it digitally. This actually fits my image of Marina way better, probably because sketching hair tradiationally is just so much easier for me especially if it's wavey like hers.

Also forgive the quality of this cause I don't have a proper sketchbook, so I'm always sketching in one of my many notebooks (which is why this has lines in the background lol). And I took this with my phone cause I haven't hooked up my new laptop with our printer yet (I cannot be bothered... a job for future Lix).

Edit: I FORGOT HER BEAUTY MARKS TT I'm cursed to forget them no matter the sibling (she has a beauty mark on the left side of her mouth and on the right side of her eye).

OC numbers ask game

#ask answered #ask game #oc numbers ask game #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #khr oc #the housekeeping au #khr marina costa #sketch nook

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nightshade-minho · 4 years ago

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-Blue Book- (10)

Act 2

Warnings: angsty shit, future smut.

Wc: 1.8k (sorry for the short ass chapter-)

You blinked sleepily, a finger poking your arm and insistently pulling you out of your slumber.

A whine left your mouth as you opened your eyes slightly, Felix's face hovering over yours.

"Lix-" You groaned, pushing him away and casting a quick glance at the clock on your wall. " It's a Saturday morning, fucking let me sleep." You rolled over, burying your face in the pillow as Felix let out a deep sigh.

"Y/n, this is important. There's something I thought I should let you know-"

"Fuck. Off." You growled, voice muffled by the pillow.

Felix sat there for a moment, contemplating his life choices. Why exactly did he think it would be a good idea to try and wake you up at 8 am on a Saturday?

If he told you the news now, you'd be mad at him for having disturbed your precious sleep. If he tells you when it's too late- god, you'd be pissed beyond doubt.

Either way, he'd have to face your wrath. Deciding he didn't want such a pretty morning to be ruined, he put it off. Was it the right decision? Guess he had to wait and find out.

He cast one last glance at your sleeping face, heart beating. He hoped you’d take it well...he doesn’t want to see you devastated again.

Mentions of him always managed to do exactly that, though.

He really wasn’t prepared for another night of crying and excessive wine drinking, patting your back as you asked the same question, again and again.

He wished he could let you know you were more than enough, worthy of the world. And he’d be sure to protect you.

He wasn’t going to hurt you. Not again.

***

When you finally woke up, courtesy of your alarm, you sat up and slid out of bed. Stumbling out of your room, you headed to the bathroom, which seemed to be locked.

"Lix! Come out, I really need to pee!"

"Just a second!"

You groaned and rested your head against the door, letting your eyes flutter closed again. Felix was definitely a wonderful roommate- you'd gotten lucky in that department- but he always hogged the bathroom, and it infuriated you.

You still remembered the day you met Felix again. You'd moved back to the town after about five years, no longer wanting to live with your mom and her insufferable boyfriend. As soon as you graduated, you took advantage of your newfound independence to go back to where it all began.

Running into Felix had been a pleasant surprise. The two of you had gone to a café to catch up. He mentioned his need for a roommate, and since then you'd been inseparable. He re-introduced you to the boys, including Minho who you’d already been in touch with. They’d all been friends even after high school and throughout college, their old group intact. Well, except for him.

Chan had moved away just a few weeks after you had, according to Felix. It had been quite sudden, and there were barely any goodbyes, just like with you. Half the guys had been relieved, apparently. Especially Minho.

Everything that had happened back in high school seemed extremely childish, now that you were an adult with a job and bills to pay. However, you still couldn't exactly find it in your heart to forgive Chan. He was your first love, after all...and those tend to turn bittersweet. He'd betrayed your trust and played with your feelings. Yes, you were young and naïve, but you should have seen it coming- you'd always thought he was too perfect for you. Too good to be true...

You almost fell forward when the door suddenly opened, snapping out of your thoughts as Felix caught you, chuckling.

"Take a shower, sleepyhead." He chuckled, ruffling your hair as he let you go and walked over to the kitchen, presumably to make breakfast.

You smiled as he left, sleepily removing your sweatpants and shirt when you heard your phone ring from on top of the sink. Pausing, you inched closer and grabbed it as you shut the door, lifting the phone to your ear after a quick glance at the caller ID.

"Minho! I was just about to take a shower-"

A chuckle from the other end. "Sure, I was just calling to remind you."

"Remind me? Of what?"

"We were planning to go to the mall today!" His indignant voice came shooting into your ears. You winced and giggled, clutching the phone tighter as a loud sigh came through.

"Chill, I didn't forget."

A huff. "Good. I'll pick you up in a bit."

You ended the call, a faint smile lingering on your face. Your unlikely friendship with Minho was one the universe itself probably didn't see coming, in all honesty.

You still remembered how vile he used to be. Yes, he had a reason, but that didn’t exactly erase all the pain and discomfort he’d put you through.

He’d shown massive regret, though. Proved that he changed for the better. Besides, you couldn’t exactly push him away after finding out what connected the two of you. So, you’d forgiven him...

You wondered if you would ever find it in yourself to forgive Chan the same way- if you ever see him again, that is. The pain he’d caused was worse. You’d trusted him...loved him, only to find out he’d been using you all along. That he was in love with someone else, even as he hugged you and kissed you. As you brushed your teeth, your mind drifted, memories made with him replaying in your head. The feeling of his soft lips pressed against yours...intertwined fingers, his arms wrapped firmly around you as a storm raged on, a similar one swirling in your heart.

You shook your head, rinsing your mouth as you reminded yourself that it was all in the past. There was no point thinking about Chan anymore. You had Felix and Minho, your best friends and the only people that mattered, currently. It was all you needed.

***

Chan’s grip on the steering wheel was loose, his eyes half-open as he drove. He was way too tired, and it was probably dangerous to drive in his state. He was already close, though.

He briefly averted his eyes from the road to check the directions Felix had texted him. Yes, he’d arrive any minute now.

His heart was pounding. He couldn’t believe he was back here, years later. He’d missed this town, to be honest. And yet, at the time, his parents’ transfer had felt like a blessing. A way to escape from the pain he’d felt at your betrayal, as well as your sudden departure.

Felix had told him. You were his roommate. There was a lump in his throat, nervousness and anxiety at the thought of seeing you again brimming up. He didn’t know if he was ready.

The initial anger he’d felt when he saw you with Minho had faded away. All that was left now was disappointment, a faint sadness lingering in the back of his mind at all times.

You’d been the one to show him what happiness felt like. He’d felt it when cuddling your small frame- skin pressed against skin, your radiant smile etching itself into his brain. He’d felt it when you took him to that museum, showing him what true beauty was.

He couldn’t forget what you felt like. He’d tried to, with numerous people. And yet...all he could think about was you. Even now, as an adult. And here he was, mere minutes away from having to see your face again.

Just be quick. In, out. Greet Felix, catch up with him a little and that’s it. Come on, Chan. You can do this...

He parked the car, swallowing as he stepped out. This was it.

***

You pulled up your pants just as you heard the doorbell ring. “Coming!’ You shouted, zipping up as you ran over to the door, opening it and glaring.

"Ah, finally! You're late."

"I had to drop Dea at school." Minho shook his head, entering your apartment and heading straight to the kitchen, the enticing smells luring him in.

"Oh. How is she? It's been a while since I saw her."

"She's good. Misses you a little. She asked me when we're all going to hang out again."

"Soon." You assured, knowing you weren't that busy the following week. Following him into the kitchen, you watched Felix flip the pancakes, looking up as Minho entered.

"Hey, Min. Didn't know you were coming today. Want some?" He tilted his chin towards the pan.

Minho smirked and grabbed one of the strawberries Felix had set aside, popping into his mouth and shaking his head. "No, thanks. We've got a movie to catch, so we have to leave right away." You pouted at that, crossing your arms. "But I don't wanna be hungry! Want pancakes." You mumbled.

The two men looked at you, eyebrows raised at your sudden display. Felix cringed, chuckling as Minho cooed at you.

"You're so cute." He pinched your cheek, looking back at his watch. "Ah fuck, we really have to go now, Y/n."

"But-" You looked over at Felix, who flashed you an apologetic grin as Minho grabbed your hand, practically dragging you over to the door.

"Wait!" Felix suddenly called out, cursing under his breath as he remembered what he was supposed to tell you. Fuck, he’d almost forgot.

"There's no time to waste! We'll be back later, Lix-"

It was too late. Felix was secretly glad Minho was taking you away though. Maybe he could quickly get things done with Chan, and get him to leave before you come back? No...it would be unfair to keep the truth from you. He didn't want you to run into Chan on accident, and quite possibly murder him when you get home.

Calming down a little, he turned back to his pan, just as Minho opened the door.

Wait-

Your eyes widened as your eyes landed on the man standing in front of you.

No. It couldn't be...were you hallucinating? Or was that really Chan, frozen in place with his finger hovering over the doorbell?

Unfortunately, it wasn't a trick your brain was playing on you. Minho was staring at Chan too, shell-shocked as the latter's gaze drifted down to your intertwined hands.

A mass of uncomfortable feelings and emotions you'd repressed for years bubbled up to the surface, almost making you want to throw up. This couldn't be happening.

Chan felt the same way. So you were still with Minho? Fuck, the regret in him was raw, painful as it resurfaced. Suddenly, the anger was back.

The prolonged silence was suspicious to Felix. "Hey, guys...?" He frowned and left the kitchen, stopping in his tracks as he saw Chan and you, icy glares evident as you stared at each other.

"Fuck." He gulped, inching closer to the three. "Um. This was what I m-meant to tell you, Y/n. Surprise! Chan's back!" He giggled nervously, the anger in your eyes scaring him slightly as you turned to look at him.

Chan gritted his teeth, eyes still trained on your hands. “I’m back.” He repeated, glaring at you.

Fuck.

#chan angst #bang chan angst #chan smut #bang chan smut #minho fluff #felix fluff #skz angst #skz smut #skz fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #minho smut #chan x reader #bang chan series

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jisungsplatforms · 4 years ago

Text

Dahlia

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x gn! reader

Genre: angst; hanahaki au, non idol au

Warning: language, mentions of cheating, tiny tiny spoilers & allusions to some of my other fics if you squint hard enough. Some elements of Felix x reader (purely platonic tho)

Note: this does NOT portray Stray Kids’ true personalities. This is all purely FICTIONAL

*this is one of my longest fics i’ve ever written so sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

(Based off of (G) i-dle’s “Dahlia)

(Page II)

Dahlia:

“Signifies a lasting bond and commitment between two people;

symbolizes elegance, inner strength , change, and dignity...”

Hwang Hyunjin is bad news.

He’s a player, he’ll leave once he gets bored of you.

Hwang is no good for you. You deserve so much better, Y/n.

That was all you heard ever since you started dating Hyunjin. Different variations of it, all with the same connotation. People warned you, left and right, whenever they saw you two together. But you didn’t care, you choose to love him anyways, despite the rumors you’ve heard about him. It was all...

...Blind love. Sure, you fall in love fast, and every single time, you’ve been cheated on; but you knew that he was different, you could feel it. You had faith in Hyunjin.

Today was your one year anniversary. You sighed at the calendar hanging on your wall, a vase with a single dahila (given by Hyunjin a few weeks ago) sat on a table beside it.

“Did you know back then, lovers used to gift their beloved dahlias as a sign of everlasting love and commitment?” Hyunjin said with a pretty smile, holding a bouquet of a dozen dahlias.

“Oh really now?” you giggled, taking the bouquet into your hands. “Are you trying to tell me something?” You tilted your head, your eyebrows raised playfully.

“Hmm. Only that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he cheekily said. “And that I will love you, and only you, even for the our next 100 lifetimes.”

You writhed in giddiness, touched by his words. “I can’t wait then,” you said, planting a soft kiss onto his plump lips, the two of you smiling into the kiss.

That was a year ago; 3 months into your relationship, probably the happiest year you’ve ever had. Every day with Hyunjin felt magical, like it was too good to be true. He was nothing but gentle with you. He held your hand as if you were glass. His eyes stared into yours as if you had the shiniest of diamonds for eyes. His beautiful smile always made your heart flutter, but his kisses was what really did the job. You thought that you could never had enough of him. You were his princess and he’s your prince charming.

But little did you know that the magic will soon wear off...

You stared at your phone in sheer disappointment.

Sorry, I can’t make it today. Something really important came up and I can’t miss it.

-was what was written on your screen, sent by your boyfriend. Bringing the phone closer to your face, you replied.

Really? You can’t skip it? Or even do it later?

Nope. Sorry, babe. There’s nothing I can do.

Oh...okay then.

Cheer up, babe. We’ll just go on a date on another day! I’ll make it up to you. Promise! :)

‘Go on a date on another day’ For some reason, reading that message shot a pang of hurt through your chest. To you, it basically implied that today was supposed to be just ‘another date’ for you guys.

Did he...forget that it’s our one year today? you thought sadly at the possibility as you put your phone down. Shaking your head, you tried to erase the negative thoughts from your mind. No no no, Hyunjin wouldn’t have forgotten. He was the one who even arranged the date! You held your cheeks in your hands. Sighing, you stood up to leave your bedroom to get a glass of water, feeling a heaviness to your chest. A million thoughts ran through your head as you made your way to the kitchen.

Is it possible that he really did forget?

Is he lying to me?

Am I just overthinking things again?

Or did he finally get...bored of me?

Looking back, you started to think about how lately, Hyunjin has been cancelling and rescheduling your dates. Every time you text him, asking him to come over, he’d reply with something along the line of “can’t i’m busy. sorry.” Of course you felt hurt, but you always told yourself, he’s a busy man. We don’t always have to be together.

And of course, you werent oblivious to how every month, the amount of dahlias Hyunjin used to give you slowly decreased. Once a dozen dahlias became only 8. 8 slowly became half a dozen. Then 6 became only 3. But you’ve convinced yourself that you didn’t need flowers to determine how in love you were, telling yourself how expensive live flowers actually are, so it makes sense he’ll end up giving less flowers. That’s it. That’s what you’ve conditioned your mind to think.

You’ve convinced yourself that Hyunjin truly is a good guy.

You didn’t even realize you were already in your kitchen until you felt yourself holding the cup to your mouth, the cool liquid making it’s way down your esophagus. You put the cup onto the counter, mindlessly staring at it. Maybe your were just overthinking things. That’s it.

Trudging back to the bedroom, you sat on the edge of your bed, sighing heavily, trying to contain the tears that were threatening to come out. Your lit up with a notification.

—

From Lixie Ramsay 🧑‍🍳🍽

—

Hey Y/n, are you feeling well?

Seeing a text from Felix, you grabbed your phone.

Not really. How’d you know??

Idk. I guess you can call it...best friend telepathy :D

You smiled, typing in another reply.

Well thank GOD for bsf telepathy cause I feel like shit rn.

Overthinking again?

Yes :(

Aww sorry to hear that dude :((

Wait. What happened with Hyunjin? Isn’t it your anniversary today?

Your heart ached at the message, the good mood you were slowly feeling again plummeted. Luckily, Felix noticed how long you were taking to reply to him.

Ah nvm... Anyways, I’m pretty much free rn so that meeaannnsss...I’ll take you out on a date instead!

Even though you were wallowing in misery, you couldn’t help but tease him.

You? Pass

How rude. And here I am being the greatest friend anyone could ask for, and you have the audacity to be picky?

Have fun with your pity party then, best friend

You sniggered at his reply. No no. I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’ll take up your offer LOL

Good. Be ready in about 20 mins. I’m coming over so we can go to the café together!

Okayyy :D

You got up and put on a nice, but comfortable outfit to go out in with your best friend.

You were just sitting on your couch, awaiting for Felix’s arrival when you heard a knock on your door.

“Y/n! It’s meee~!” came his loud, deep voice. You chortled as you got up from your couch, making sure everything was secured before going to your door. You opened it to see Felix’s bright smile greeting you.

You giggled, opening the door wider. “‘Sup, bro,” you nodded your head. Felix returned the gesture.

“‘Sup. You ready?”

“Yup! Let’s go.” Before you could get out of your house, Felix stopped you.

“Wait wait! I have something for you!” he lightly pushed you back inside. Only then did you notice that he was holding a single sunflower in his left hand. Your eyes widened a little, confused.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“A sunflower!”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Duh, I know that, but what’s it for?”

Felix beamed. “Well, I knew that you were feeling sad today, and I heard from someone that sunflowers are known as “happy flowers”, so I thought that I should give you one! To cheer you up!”

You looked at the flower in awe, incredibly touched by his gesture. “Lix...” you trailed off, feeling happy tears beginning to prick your eyes. You took the sunflower from his hands and stared at it, already feeling the positive vibes radiating from it.

“I know, I know. I’m the bestest best friend anyone could ask for. Now let’s go! I’ve been dying to try the carrot cake in that new café a few blocks down!” Felix said, sliding his arm to yours, “I heard that they have one of the best carrot cakes in town.”

You looked up from the flower to look at him, grinning. “Thank you so much for this, dude. I really appreciate it.”

Felix shrugged with a small smile on his face. “It’s the least I could do. Really.” He waited for you as you locked your front door, arms still linked, then making your way to go to the café Felix has been dying to go to.

The two of you walked together, catching up on each other’s current events going on in your lives, seeing how you weren’t able to for the past two weeks. Right now, Felix was telling you about a certain crush he has in one of his classes.

“Ooh, so, have you tried asking them out? Or even just told them that you’re interested or something, in the very least?” you wiggled your eyebrows. In response, he sucked in his breath a little. His face contorted in a slight grimace.

“I...tried to...” He said with his teeth clenched. You looked at him in puzzled.

“What do you mean ‘tried to’, Lix?” you asked. “It’s either you did or you didn’t.”

Felix sighed in embarrassment, his mind wandering back to the memory. “I sorta might’ve accidentally revealed that I liked them but sorta might’ve got embarrassed and accidentally took it back?”

“What?” you deadpanned.

“Okay okay. It’s dumb. I know. But they were so SO cute just talking, TALKING, and it just slipped out, I guess!” he said, exasperatedly. “I really couldn’t help it! Honest! So, I just panicked and covered it up by saying ‘I’m so lucky to have a friend like you'”

You looked at him blankly, slowly unlinking your arms. “Oh no,” you sighed, slightly shaking your head. “Oh baby nooo...”

“Yeah. I’m pathetic, I know.”

You hummed in pity, patting his shoulder. “A little, yeah, but it’s okay. Things like that happen, unfortunately. Don’t worry though, it’s not like it’s the end of the world,” you grinned, “You’ll have a lot more chances to actually confess in the near future.”

Felix nodded, crooning. “You’re right, Y/n. Thanks,” he said, giving you a hug as he gave you his well-renowned sunshine-like smile that you couldn’t help but smile back.

“No problem.”

Topic after topic, the two of you were so immersed in your conversation that you guys arrived at the café.

“Finally!” you cheered. “That was a surprisingly long walk.”

Felix sighed. “For real. But on the bright side: carrot cake!”

“Is the carrot cake even that good?”

“Dunno. Only one way to find out!” Felix walked a few steps ahead of you to open the door for you when he suddenly stopped. His whole body went rigid. In a blink of an eye, he turned around, gently pushing you away from the building. “Darn. What a shame, it’s full today. Oh well,” he frantically stated.

You glanced back behind him to check the inside yourself, only to see that it was only half full.

“What’re you talking about? There’s totally enough space for us. Let’s go.”

Felix’s face was full of dread. His body was stiff, his eyes shook a little as he maintained eye contact with you. He was nervous, and you could tell.

“You’re not okay. Is there someone in there you wanna avoid?” you said in urgency.

“Uhm. You could say that,” he murmured, looking down. Looking back up to see if there were any shifty looking faces that were in desperate need of a beating, your heart dropped in horror and dispair. Through the window, you saw Hyunjin, your boyfriend, sitting with a pretty looking lady. You watched them with woeful eyes as they smiled and laugh with each other. You couldn’t believe it, you didn’t want to. You wanted to believe that this was all a misunderstanding. You only snapped out of it when you felt Felix’s small, warm hands.

“Let’s-uh- let’s just go, yeah?” he said quietly. Nodding mindlessly, you let him lead to somewhere else. Anywhere but here. Felix rubbed your back, trying to give you any kind of hug he could give you as you walked away. You tried your best to push back the cough making it’s way to your throat. Good thing Felix was guiding you the entire way, others you would’ve fallen due to your blurry eyesight.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into your ear. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for, is what you wanted to tell him. But you couldn’t, for if you do, you might end up breaking down in the middle of the streets. You breathed heavily, containing both your tears and the pressure down in your chest and throat.

You snuggled closer to your thick blankets, trying to assimilate the warm you crave for from it. Felix was by your side, rubbing soothing circle to your back. You guys never went to go to another café. Instead, he led you home, seeing how it wasn’t the right time for you two to go out. You appreciated his gesture. It makes you wonder why can’t every guy be like your best friend, your brother, your soulmate. Felix let out a long exhale.

“Man, I-I’m sorry you had to see that, especially on your anniversary,” he soft said. Felix was furious, not only at Hyunjin, but himself as well. He felt like he couldn’t protect you, like he failed as your best friend.

“It’s okay, Lix. I’m fine,” you murmured. “Actually,” you paused, “I’m not fine. But you don’t have to apologize for something like this. This had nothing to do with you.”

“I know,” he sighed. “Im just frustrated, you know. I’m mad that you’re hurting like this.”

“Yeah me too,” you said emptily. “I just hope that this was just a misunderstanding.”

“He better damn well make sure that it’s just a misunderstanding,” he grumbled. “Otherwise i’m gonna have to settle some things with him. Hope he knows that i’m a black belt in Taekwondo.”

You snorted. “Thanks, Felix.”

“I will have a ‘chat’ with him. Mark my words.”

You laughed at him. You could faintly feel the angst in your heart lessen, but not completely go away. Hearing your front door unlock, you stiffened. You tried your best to not look at it.

“Babe! I’m here!” Hyunjin’s voice rang at the entrance. You felt Felix’s hold on your form tighten. Hyunjin walked closer to you two.

“Hey, Felix,” he said flatly. “didn’t know you were coming here.”

“Hmm.” Felix nodded his head, not even trying to make eye contact with the tall brunette. Hyunjin nodded back in annoyance.

“Anyways, you can leave now,” he sneered with his jaw clenched. “Your job is done. Now it’s my turn to spend time with my beloved.”

Both you and Felix tensed at his words. He looked down to look for your approval. Seeing your unsure nod, he hesitantly let go of you, watching you as he does so.

“It’s okay,” you mouthed to him. He made a sharp breath as he stood up, still refusing to look Hyunjin in the eye.

“Goodbye,” Felix called out, more to you than the other. You felt a sense of foreboding when you heard the door shut. From your side, Hyunjin let out a harsh groan.

“Finally,” he said, sitting down as he wrapped his arm around you. You couldn’t let yourself relax in his arms like how you’d usually to. You just felt uneasy in his presence right now. “So? How was you day? Missed me?” Hyunjin asked. You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to pretend anymore.

“Are you cheating on me?” you more declared than asked as you sat up straight. Hyunjin’s eyes widened for a millisecond, a flash of fear in his eyes, but he just played it off.

“How could you accuse me of something like that?” he said, defensively. “I’m your boyfriend. Don’t you trust me?”

You bit your lip nervously. “I saw you, Hyunjin. At the café.” His face contorted in panic but quickly masked it as disbelief.

He scoffed, “Well you saw wrong, Y/n. That was just a friend, I would NEVER cheat on you.” He shook his head disappointingly, removing his arm from you. “I can’t believe that you would ever doubt me, babe. I’m actually really hurt by this right now.”

You felt a wave of guilt rush over you.

“Oh...I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I just thought-“

“You thought what? That the rumors were true?” Hyunjin laughed sarcastically. “Man, and here I thought that you were different.”

Your eyes teared up even more as the guilt inside your chest increased. Was I really wrong? you thought. “No! I’m-I’m sorry, Hyunie! I didn’t know! I just felt hurt because today was su-”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s okay. Let me just, be alone for a while, Y/n.” Hyunjin quietly got up and walked out of your house. You walked as he slammed the door on his way out, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. You were starting to regret letting Felix leave. The air around turn colder in your empty apartment.

It was supposed to be our one year anniversary, you thought, finally letting your tears out. And yet again, you tried controlling the tickling down your throat.

“He told you WHAT?” Felix exclaimed, looking at you incredulously. You had to shush him when you noticed some of the other people in the coffe shop giving you both tiny glares.

“He told me that it was just a friend that he had to me,” you said, quietly. “And that he would never cheat on me. He also said that felt hurt that I didn’t trust him, so I felt bad cause he did looked super upset.”

Felix rolled his eyes as he let out a sardonic “ha”. “That’s rich. Coming from him?” You let out a tiny pout.

“I don’t know, Lix. He seemed like he was telling the truth though?”

“Yeah, seemed, Y/n. I don’t know if you should trust him anymore. And besides, it even sounded like he was trying to make you feel bad instead of apologizing.”

“Well yeah cause-” Felix cut you off, holding up his hand to stop you from saying anything else.

“That’s gaslighting, bud. A huge red flag if you ask me. He didn’t even remember that it was your anniversary!”

Scrunching your eyebrows, you pondered upon Felix’s words. You knew he was right, but you really wanted to give Hyunjin the benefit of a doubt. All of a sudden, you felt a pressure in your chest. In need of relief, you coughed into the juncture of your arm. Felix winced in pity.

“Ooh, sounds nasty. You good there?”

You nodded as you continued coughing, giving him a thumbs up. Once you finish with your fit, you cleared your throat a little, grabbing the water bottle beside you to drink.

“Mhmm, yeah. Just a tickle, that’s all.”

“You sure? You’ve started coughing since yesterday,” Felix stated. “Are you sure you aren’t getting sick cause of the weather or stress or something?”

“Uhh nah. I don’t think so,” you said. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Felix hummed, totally unconvinced by your reasoning. He knew deep down something was wrong; he just didn’t know what. It was quiet for a while until Felix up at the window and let out a little gasp. You raised your eyebrows at this, silently asking him what’s wrong. He glared a little at the window before turning to you.

“Hate to do this but look. Behind you, don’t make it obvious.”

You slightly turned your head to see what he was looking at. Your eyes widened. You saw Hyunjin and the same girl from 2 days ago, passing by at the other side of the window, hand in hand. You watched in disbelief as the girl tipped toed to kiss his cheek while he giggles. You quickly turned your head in the other direction to avoid him as they walked by, feeling the pressure in your chest worsen. It hurt even more when you remember the small bouquet of dahilas in her hands. You felt your eyes burning with tears, sucking in deep breaths. Turns out that that was a mistake.

You calming yourself back-fired. You ended up having a coughing fit; but it didn’t feel like any cough you’ve ever had. It felt way heavier, like you were almost suffocating. Bringing a fist to your chest, you pounded on it as if it would help. You didn’t know if the tears in your eyes was from the couch or seeing your bastard of a boyfriend. You couldn’t even open them so you opted to just keeping them shut .

“Y/n?!” Felix yelled out in alarm. You felt him come up behind you, rubbing your back. “Oh shit...” you heard him breathed out. You slowly opened your eyes and turned to him. He looked frantic, but he wasn’t staring at you, rather on the floor. You looked back to see dahlia petals on the floor.

Huh? you thought in bewilderment. Last time you checked, there wasn’t any plants in the shop, aside for the plastic Swiss Cheese plants in the corners of the place, if they even count at all.

Felix noticed your gaze on the petals. “That shit’s from you,” he pointed out. “We need to get you to a hospital. ASAP.”

You looked at him weakly. “But-“

“NOW, Y/n.”

“I- what?” you gasped in horror.

“You’ve, unfortunately, contracted the Hanahaki Disease,” the doctor announced in sympathy. Felix rushed you to the nearest hospital after your little scene. When you arrived there and told the receptionist at the entrance, she immediately paged you to the emergency room. You were scared. You didn’t know what was so urgent to rush you to an emergency room.

“Hantahapki? What the hell is that?” Felix asked, coming out rather aggressively. He was horrified; who wouldn’t be if they witnessed their best friend coughing out flower petals.

“Hanahaki,�� the doctor subtly corrected, “It’s a rare disease that makes you cough out petals. Not many people gets it.”

Your heart beak was fast. If it was rare, then who knows what could happen.

“Okay, Hanahaki. So do you know how Y/n got it?”

The doctor removed her glasses and put it on the desk beside her. “Well, though it is a rare disease, we do know enough about it,” she declared. “The Hanahaki disease, fortunately, isn’t contagious and is only produced from unrequited love.”

You let out a shaky sigh. “So it is true. He doesn’t love me anymore,” you muttered. You felt the familiar pressure in your chest so you relieved yourself, petals spewing as you coughed. Felix immediately rubbed your back in alarm.”

“Is there anyway to treat it, doc?” he worriedly questioned. The doctor nodded.

“Yes actually. One option is for the patient’s love to be returned by the recipient,” your heart dropped a little hearing this “-or the other is to undergo surgery.”

“Surgery?” you both inquired at the same time.

The doctor nodded again. “Yes, surgery, our safest option. However, doing so will result in Y/n loosing all feelings of love altogether.”

“So what you’re saying is,” you said slowly. “-if I do the procedure, I won’t be able to love again?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Romantic love that is. You can still love people platonicly, like your friend over here,” she said gesturing to Felix. “Family and friends, basically. You just can’t have romantic feelings for anyone else, even if you really wanted to.”

You and Felix looked at each other in sorrow. “I,” Felix started off, “really think you should do it.”

You bit your lip as you shook your head. “I don’t know. This is a pretty big decision. Can’t I just, like, think about it for a while? Before I really decide if I want to do this?”

“Of course you can, Y/n,” the doctor said. “Just don’t take too long making a decision, okay? Because it will kill you, if you don’t decide on time.”

The two of you looked up at her in horror. “KILL?!”

She winced a little at your loud voices, prompting the two of you to apologize. “Yes, kill. Those aren’t just petals coming out of no where.” She gestured to the pile between the tree of you. “They have to produce somewhere. At first they’ll start of as a little bud, that’s why as of now, you’re only coughing out several petals each cough, eventually getting bigger and bigger until the flower in your lungs fully bloom, which could end up bursting out of your chest.”

Felix turned to you in pure terror, slightly shaking you. “I REALLY think you should do the surgery today.” You brushed him off of you.

“Okay yeah, that’s terrifying, but I won’t be able to love ever again, Lix!” you countered. He look at you like you were crazy.

“You won’t be able to feel ANYTHING if you don’t!”

You contemplated on the situation. You didn’t know what to do. The doctor interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Don’t worry, Y/n you have about a few weeks minimum to make a decision. Luckily you came to us the day you started coughing out the petals. Otherwise, if it happened earlier and you kept it to yourself, you might’ve...you know.” You shook your head in acknowledgment.

“Yeah. Okay, thank you, doc.”

It’s been 5 days since you’ve been to the hospital; 5 days you’ve been diagnosed with the Hanahaki Disease; 5 days since you’ve last seen Hyunjin.

You still weren’t sure if you wanted to undergo the procedure. Felix said that this was the best option, but you didn’t want to listen. You still had hope in your heart that maybe, just maybe, Hyunjin still loves you deep down. You heard your phone ding from the table. You picked it up and saw that is was from your “boyfriend”.

Hey! Haven’t seen each other in a while. Wanna talk?

Your heart sped up. You didn’t know if it was from excitement that he finally contacted you, or fear that you might end up finding out the whole truth. Your fingers typed out a reply.

Yeah, come over today. I’ve missed you

Liar, you thought to yourself.

Sure! See you soon!

You typed out your final reply, burying your face into the throw pillows.

A knock was heard from your door, signaling Hyunjin’s arrival. You tensed buy quickly calmed yourself down. You got up to let him in. You were greeted by his big smile, which you knew now was fake.

“Hey, babe! I’ve missed you!” he cheered.

Fucking liar. Putting one a fake smile, you said a quick “miss you too” and let him in. Closing the door, you gave yourself a mental pep talk before going straight to the point. You turned around to face him

“You’re cheating on me,” you stated, emotionlessly. You didn’t even say it as if it was a question, you knew. Hyunjin looked panic before composing himself.

“Again, Y/n? I told you, it-”

“I SAW YOU, HYUNJIN!” you cried out, not even containing your emotions anymore. “I SAW YOU OUTSIDE OF THE CAFÉ. I SAW YOU HOLDING HANDS. I SAW HER KISS YOU AND YOU DIDNT PUSH HER AWAY. IN FACT, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU ENJOYED IT.” You walked quickly towards him to push his chest.

“WHAT’S WORSE WAS THAT I SAW THE DAHLIAS YOU GAVE HER, A FLOWER THAT YOU SAID WAS SPECIAL TO US!” you fell to the floor, sobbing. The jig was up, Hyunjin knew.

“I trusted you Hyunjin...I really did. I even convinced myself that you weren’t like the rumors said,” you said weakly, already too tired to scream. “I love you. How could you do this to me?”

Hyunjin watched as you broke down. He didn’t know what to say; how to comfort you. He couldn’t even lie to you anymore. He felt bad for you. But he could’nt deny that he’s lost feelings for you.

“I’m sorry...”

Hearing this made you cry even more, you cradled your chest as you sank deeper to the floor. He didn’t even deny it. He didn’t even try comforting you. You heard his heavy footsteps leave your house, closing the door behind him. Your heart lurked even more. So this is it, you thought.

It hurts.

It hurts so fucking bad.

You were used to being cheated and lied to, so why did it? You clutched your burning chest, trying to regulate your breathing. More tears spilled out of your eyes.

It was because you genuinely loved Hyunjin.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you started wheezing out the dahlia petals out of your chest. A bunch of petals flew out of your mouth. You couldn’t breathe. It was too much. You crawled to your phone to call Felix. It rang once, twice, before he finally answered.

“Y/n?”

You could’ve even speak anymore, the room started spinning, your vision started blurring.

“Lix...hospital...” you managed to let out before collapsing.

“Y/n? Y/n!”

You woke up to the sound of beeping. You looked around and noticed that you weren’t home anymore. You tried getting up, flinching when the IV bag connected to you stopped you.

Ah, I’m at the hospital.

You laid back down and relaxed, trying to relive what happened last time you were awake. All you remember were blurry images of you crying, petals, hearing Felix’s panicked voice, then nothing. You eyes shot open at the thought.

Felix?!

You looked around the room to finally see him sleeping in the corner. You could faintly distinguish the dried tear marks on his freckled face.

He must’ve been here for a while.

The door know turned to reveal the same doctor to diagnosed you a few days prior. “Hello, Y/n,” she greeted, standing by your bed. “Seems like you’re doing well now.” You nodded. You tried speaking to answer her, only to find that you couldn’t because of how dry your throat was. The doctor noticed this and shook her head.

“Don’t. Just rest, it’s okay.”

You bowed you head as a slight thank you. She walked closer to you to pat your head.

“Congratulations, the procedure was a success.”

You eyes widened at the implication. So that’s why you’re here. It all made sense now. You have her a smile as you gave a raspy “thank you.” She talked to you for a while before deciding to leave you to rest a little more. She announced you could be discharged from the hospital by tomorrow.

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn’t love anymore, but still overall glad that you’re still alive. You glanced at the papers the doctor left on the table beside you, grabbing it to read it a little just to see that is was just your information. Beside it, you saw that she also left a cup of water for you. You gulped it down, letting out a relieved “ah” went you finished.

You didn’t want to think about anything right now, and you sure as hell didn’t even want to think about your now ex-boyfriend. You closed your eyes to think about what went wrong in your life. Especially now that you have to live without loving anything the way you want to. You contemplated with an emptiness in your chest.

Our love is-

“...however, they do carry negative connotations;

betrayal, dishonesty, instability.”

-Dahlia

—————————————————————————

(Case #XX1-

Name: Y/n L/n

Patient: Cured; Discharged: XX,XX,XXXX at XX:XX)

——————————————————————————

(Back to Page I)

A/N: PHEW FINALLY DONE WITH THE FIRST PART OF THE SERIES. IVE BEEN EXCITED TO WRITE THIS FIC FOR A LOOONG TIME. (G) I-dle’s “Dahlia” is what inspired me to start the Hanahaki series so THANK YOU MINNIE

#stray kids #skz #stray kids fanfic #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #skz hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin angst #hyunjin x reader #skz felix #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #skz hanahaki au

146 notes · View notes

missinghan · 4 years ago

Text

to my youth ⤖ lee felix

❖ genre : summer au; high school au; fluff

❖ word count : 11,6k.

❖ warning : explicit language, slow burn

❖ summary : it is official that life hates you because not only was your first few days of summer ruined by a stupid field trip, but things also got somewhat freaky… whatever kind of ‘freaky’ you’re thinking about.

❖ note : i know i said i’m ‘experimenting’ with new stuff but guess who’s back with another mediocre, not-that-well-written mess of a domestic au; please (kindly) yell at me to dabble into a new genre after bearing through this fic- happy reading!

one.

The echoes of your summer days remain as flowers immune to the winter chill, they say.

You’re not entirely sure who even fathomed their time and effort to come up with that statement but from your point of view, those flowers would most likely have either died out from the summer heat or withered horrendously because of the arbitrary showers of rain. Or you’re the only one who doesn’t have the luxury to see life through a rose-colored lens.

Because the first thing that comes to mind for you is the bucket of ice-cream and a YouTube OG that you’ve ceased to finish since finals started two weeks ago. The bell rings, pens down, everyone pours out of the classroom after handing in their exam papers. No one really bothers to check up on each other’s answers anymore; the last subject for today was AP Psych and you don’t know about them but you honestly can’t care any less thereafter cramming the entirety of five chapters.

Sprinting down the staircase, you easily spot Felix amongst the midst of drowsy high school students for the bright color of his hair. He truly believes that if he slaps enough hair essence and coconut oil on his head four times a week, his hair won’t feel like straws when he changes it every other three weeks. But it’s only a matter of time before balding catches up to him, he’ll learn eventually.

“Please don’t tell me that you left your keys in class,” you sigh upon the sight of him fumbling with his folders and textbooks while trying to open his locker in vain. Just thinking about walking all the way back to the third floor makes you want to use your backpack as a pillow and take a nice nap in the middle of the hallway.

“Gee, Y/N,” Felix makes a face to not show the sense of relief washing over him when he locks eyes with you. “Who do you take me as? A clumsy person?”

“No, just a dumbass.” You coldly snatch a slipping book from his arms before turning to twist the disc in the combination of your birthday until the lock clicks, shaking the shackle off to swing his locker open. It’s a silent tradition that you both set each other’s birthday as your locker’s combination since elementary school; it started out as a stupid joke at first but neither of you really bothered to change it.

“Why the hell would you put your keys in the locker?” you widen your eyes in disbelief as he grabs the bright yellow Spongebob plushie to collect his keys with a shit-eating grin

“My alarm didn’t go off today, so I was running a little late,” he defends himself while dumping everything out of his backpack, hugging an empty water bottle to his side.

You throw a wave at a very tired Hyunjin walking side by side with Seungmin on his right and Jisung skipping happily towards your direction. Seungmin looks exceptionally moody today, you pray he didn’t mess up an easy question to take it out on all of you later in the car. “Bet you were staying up late to play Overwatch with Chan.”

Felix manages to grin stiffly at your comment, turning on his heels and trudges onto the school’s parking lot. “Fine, walk home.”

“Hey, you forgot to lock this!” you pull his steps into a halt by making a grab for his hand, utterly oblivious at how his cheeks flare up with a bright shade of red at your touch. Or out of embarrassment. Whatever, same thing.

Felix might be a better driver than you, but he’d be fired ten seconds into the job of a babysitter.

With that being said, when Jeongin decides it’s a good idea to cheer a passive-aggressive, post-exams Seungmin up with a carton of strawberry milk and then proceeds to get lost in his own school, the very same school he’s been attending for who knows how long, you’re the one who manually pulls his ass back into Mrs. Lee’s Jeep within ten minutes.

And Seungmin has already fallen asleep by the time Jeongin’s back, so now he’s the passive-aggressive one while sipping on the milk bitterly. Either way, this is why you headcount although there are only six of you after Changbin starts getting busy with his college applications.

“What took you so long?” Jisung looks up from his phone the moment you climb into the passenger’s seat, clicking in your seatbelt (drive safe, kids).

You immediately feel the need to snap a photo of Jeongin accidentally breaking the cafeteria’s door with the staff running towards him in a panic. They’re more scared for his life than the door itself and that’s… sweet to say the least but with the way that the embarrassed boy is glaring at you through the rear-view mirror, you decide to keep your lips sealed.

“It’s getting dark so all hallways start to look the same, you genius.”

Jisung momentarily sticks his tongue out at you. “God, you’re so rude to me. You’d never talk to Felix like that.”

“Because,” you drawl. “Lix is a pure-hearted angel descended from the realms of Heaven. Whereas, even Lucifer would see you as an eyesore in hell.”

“See! You’re doing it again!” Jisung points a finger at you in accusation, jumping up and down in his seat but no one really cares. It’s not like you’re speaking any false facts. “Stop bullying me!”

Seungmin shifts his body a little, nose scrunched up at the noises that wake him right up. “Jisung,” he warns his friend without opening his eyes. “Sit the fuck down, you have five seconds.”

Felix smirks when Jisung immediately cowers, slumping and leaning himself against Hyunjin in utter defeat. He learned not to mess with Seungmin after throwing a wallet at him on impulse. “Jealous much, Han?”

“Nah, she’s all yours bro,” Jisung waves it off tiredly; bickering and making fun of Felix’s gigantic crush on you is too much for his brain to process today. He can really use a long, solid twelve-hour summer hibernation after getting home.

The statement prompts Felix to look over at you when there’s a red light—the same exact moment as you stop staring at the bakery from across the road to lock eyes with him. There’s a little spark igniting at the pit of his stomach, stirring up butterflies inside his rib cage. But he snaps out of it after seeing you raise a brow at him, implying a silent ‘what?’ before turning away again. Felix has always been the type to stare so you don’t bother to think about it too much.

The problem is: he only stares at you that way.

A shade of coral creeps its way up to his cheeks, his gaze averting back on the roads when the light turns green. As Felix tries to calm the erratic tempo of his heartbeat, he also thinks about how much time he’d have left to confess before high school is over and everyone takes their own different paths. Then again, the future is far too blurry for him to make out anything and the thought of changes petrifies him a bit too much.

Felix wishes to hold your hand until the very end but he’s a little scared...because what if you never wanted to be with him in the first place?

two.

Your brother has one talent, and that’s his ability to irritate the living daylight out of you even when he’s practically on the other side of the planet.

Minho (un)fortunately finished his finals with flying colors, and inevitably, you’re the first victim to receive a series of texts that consisted of nothing but self-indulgent, excessive bragging. Basically, he’s allowed to do whatever slash go wherever for a good three weeks before his summer internship begins, dragging his dumb ass back to hell—where he rightfully belongs.

He’s probably chomping on a terribly unhealthy amount of pizza, pretzels, and any type of New York street food that you can name from the top of your head. It’s not like he’s paying for them anyway since Chan doesn’t allow people to touch their wallets if they happen to eat out with him.

Your phone vibrates obnoxiously on your desk, the judder slightly muffled because it’s lying on top of your wide-open psych textbook. You haven’t bothered with cleaning up yet; finals only ended yesterday and you decide that you won’t touch anything until the disarray starts to scrape against your nerves.

Side note: you’ve specifically told everyone not to call you three consecutive days after finals because yes, you’re that much of a loner, and yes, your stamina level for tolerating human interaction is awfully low.

Second side note: no one ever listens.

“Good morning, this is Lee Minho’s personal bullshit pail,” you mumble after your thumb swipes against the screen to pick up, your limbs curled up on the floor. “How can I possibly help you today?” Your morning voice isn’t necessarily threatening but rather scary; according to what Minho claimed, it sounds identical to that creepy girl from The Grudge so he groans aloud, his voice suddenly going out of focus on the other line from pulling his phone away.

“Jesus Christ are you still in your hermit phase after finals?” he questions callously, sounding not at all pleased with the way you greeted him. “Where’s mom and dad? Usually, they would have slammed your ass by now for staying inside like a vampire.”

“Don’t be insufferable, it’s only like…” you trail off while bending forward to take a good look at the little Sumiko Gurashi alarm on your bookshelf that Felix gave you during middle school. “Nine thirty-something and they’re at the park to exercise, duh- why do you care?”

Your brother almost sings on the phone, “Because you’re my little baby sister-” And this prompts you to pull the device away for the sake of your poor ear. It doesn’t help when you’re already surrounded by a group full of obnoxiously loud individuals on a daily basis. Not trying to call anyone out but Han Jisung is at the top of the list, his name in bold, capital letters being circled and underlined multiple times with a red marker.

“Who do I gotta kill to sleep in on a dreadful Sunday morning as any normal, cranky, antisocial high school student would?” you deadpan and rub the bridge of your nose dreadfully.

“I don’t know, go murder Jisung or something.” Honestly, that’s tempting… but no.

You can physically see the smug smile on his face right now, simpering in delight at your imminent misery. He knows goddamn well about your relationship with sleeping schedules and that’s the perfect excuse for him to ruin those little specks of time when your brain cells are getting an actual break.

These are also the times when you wish phones don’t fucking exist.

“By the way, are you gonna go on the field trip tomorrow?”

This question wakes you up almost completely because your eyes are now wide as a fish’s out of water, your hand automatically putting him on speaker before digging through the folders inside your backpack. What field trip? No one said anything about a field trip. And who thought it’s a good idea to force some worn-out, post-exams, sleep-deprived students into a field trip right after finals?

Minho hums coyly when the only response he’s getting is the rustling sound from your backpack, “Hmm, see what I meant there, little sis? Oh, the downside of living under a rock at its finest.” He doesn’t have to be here for you to fully picture the way that his lips curl up, dark brows wiggling whenever he’s right about something. Your brother wins most of the time against other people but overtaking you is an entirely different story.

“Oh screw off and go buy yourself a sense of humor.”

“Don’t be so mopey, isn’t Felix gonna be there?”

“What does Felix have to do with this?” you grit after managing to pull out a piece of paper from the very back, buried under countless of your essays. And it reads ‘field trip’ in caps at the top with tomorrow’s date right beneath. The trip lasts for three days, you’re going camping with the grizzly bears for three days—a total nightmare, basically.

“Pfft, you’re actually dense for someone with a sparkly report card,” he sneers. “That kid has been crushing on you since elementary school. Are the signals that fucked up?”

“You mean when I accidentally spilled orange juice over his head? Sure, bet that’s why he’s so head over heels for me,” you snicker, unfazed by these kinds of statements. Minho only knows Felix because he was the president of your school's dance club and you fully believe that your brother is simply trying to mess with your malfunctioning, cranky mindset.

“I fucking beg to differ, he always stares at you like you’re the love of his life, even when you stupidly poked yourself with a needle,” Minho announces as if he’s a love expert, tsk, amateur. “He might just confess during the trip, who knows? Campfire flickering. Sharing the same s’mores. Surrounded by nature. That sounds romantically ideal to me for a confession.”

He’s visioning everything like a terrible cliché film where two high schoolers stubbornly deny their feelings for each other until they start noticing how cute the other person is while magically being forced to be alone together. The worst kind of high school movie—which is also almost every high school movie. And you best believe that you’d a hundred percent kick your brother’s ass off that director’s chair because people live and breathe for this kind of overused entertainment. Tragic.

“Alright, fuck this, I’m out-“

“Wait!” Minho exclaims out of nowhere, almost blowing up your eardrums. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

You swear you’re rolling your eyes so hard, they’re about to fall out of their respective sockets. “Well, obviously,” you put the piece of paper down with a sigh, contemplating ways to minimize the amount of socializing in the upcoming three days. “Haven’t you bothered me enough? No?”

“You can’t leave me like this,” he whines in an annoyingly high-pitched voice that sends chills down your spine.

“You need me, we’re connected.”

He sounds like a whack version of Minnie Mouse for a second there, the kind of plushie that looks cute but with disturbingly creepy voice audio; no parents would let their children go near that aisle.

You yawn as if there’s no tomorrow, stretching your limbs tiredly. “What I need is for you to shut the fuck up and leave me alone so I can go on my merry way to pick up snacks for this stupid field trip,” you utter lifelessly.

“You hurt my feelings,” Minho pretends to clutch onto his chest and lets out a dramatic gasp, his voice doused in pure sarcasm. “What a heartbreaker, Y/N.” Said the one who always keeps his apathetic front up like a fortress’ wall and tosses every single love letter on Valentine’s Day into the recycling bin, handing the chocolate out to his classmates like he’s giving leftover vegetables to his least favorite relatives.

“Oh, I can tell,” you reply with fake enthusiasm and mock empathy. “You know how I can tell?”

“Do not finish th-”

“Cause we’re connected.” With that you hang up, slamming your phone harshly onto the surface of your textbook.

three.

You might love your room a little too much, it’s getting somewhat unhealthy.

It was furnished with a rather meager budget after your family moved out of your hometown when you stepped into elementary school. Things stay the same, well, most of it as time passes by you unknowingly. Your sad bookcase used to exist for one sole purpose—carrying countless books and plushies has now been upgraded with too many polaroids of your dumb group of friends, a neatly framed photo of Class of 2020 and two trophies that don’t even belong to you since Minho ran out of space as he kept participating in random dance competitions.

The morning beams find their way through your white curtains and stain your walls with patches of yellow, eventually bugging your vision until you successfully convince yourself to either 1) wake up and get ready for school or 2) lazily stride across your room to shut the blinds completely so you can head back to bed. It’s summer… so option one is temporarily non-existent for a solid three months.

Hey, you’re just simply making up for those all-nighters with a new cup of coffee every two hours.

Speaking of your bed, it’s soft but takes up so much space to the point that Hyunjin keeps complaining about not having enough room for his legs when he’s sprawled across the floor with Jisung, vigorously focusing on a presentation’s outline. Seungmin calls you lame for not throwing away your childhood plushies and letting them hog at least one-third of your bed, but Felix doesn’t mind since he always needs something to hug. All the more reasons why you can only trust Felix.

You might miss having those idiots being loud and invading your personal space...maybe.

Your phone rings for the second time that morning when you’re walking downstairs, shoving your keys into your pocket and grabbing a protein bar on the counter. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit right now, Minho,” you bark into the device, chewing on your breakfast aggressively, not bothering to look at the caller’s ID.

The closest convenience store is only twenty minutes away from your house but there’s a sticky note on the fridge from your mom, reminding you that she needs eggs to bake cupcakes for her company’s twentieth anniversary while your dad is running low on his Red Bulls. Basically, you’re in distress. It’s not like your dad should be inhaling those sugary drinks on a daily basis and your mom can just buy premade goods from the bakery. But there are more options for snacks at the supermarket…

“Y/N, the fuck?” The response of a voice as deep as the Pacific ocean almost makes you choke on air. “Did I wake you up or something?” Felix sounds flabbergasted on the other line, slightly taken aback. You almost feel bad because he’s the only sweetheart in your chaotic squad (besides Chan, obvi) except when he stays up late gaming with Hyunjin, pleading for your notes the next morning with puppy eyes.

“No, Minho did,” you grumble before tossing the wrapping into a bin.

“You don’t say,” Felix replies flatly, but his voice soon grows merry again after pushing the topic of your brother aside. “Oh, and I’m coming over to return your earphones, wanna grab breakfast?”

He practically lives ten minutes away from you, sees you almost every day even if it’s the weekend since he can’t stay in the same house with his sisters for too long and puts you on FaceTime every night to prevent himself from slacking off on assignments. The only time he didn’t get to see you for a week straight was when he visited Australia and accidentally dropped his phone into the ocean. It was a rough week without you nagging him for doing something stupid. Fundamentally, he’s merely making up more excuses to spend time with you after finals.

Chuckling, “Only if you’re treating me, I’m about to go broke from buying snacks for our field trip tomorrow.” you say breezily.

And you’re only telling him that because he might just pay for your snacks as well since Felix Lee eats freshly grilled steak and mashed potato for breakfast. Baffling, absolutely. Plus, he works at a boba shop every summer either way and he would never hesitate to spend the entirety of his paycheck on any of his close friends. Irrelevant but the point is: you kinda don’t wanna go out alone today.

Or you’re just in the mood to go with Felix. That’s a useless statement since you both see each other at least ten out of twenty-four hours per day.

“By the way, you know what I just realized?” Felix smacks his palm on his forehead. “This is our last field trip, like ever.”

Walking over to the rack of shoes down the hallway, you let out a large exhale. “That’s unfortunate on your behalf. I, on the other hand, don’t have a problem with that,” you tell him with zero consideration, your brain cells too busy picking out a pair of shoes to process the five basic steps to empathize with another human being.

“No,” he emphasizes helplessly. “I meant, it’s like our last high school field trip. We’re graduating next year, no time to sleep with the grizzly bears again.”

You can only manage to utter, “Oh.” Shit, college is right around the corners.

“Jesus fucking Christ what the hell am I supposed to do after high school? Stay here? Go abroad? Wait, aren’t applications for going abroad supposed to be turned in a year beforehand? Why are you only telling me this now!?”

Felix laughs wholeheartedly through the phone, amused at your sudden outburst. “Y/N, calm down. You’re going to college, not prison,” he brushes it off casually but in a way, college is technically prison. Slaving over a degree while working part-time jobs, chasing time relentlessly like you’re driving in the middle of a foggy night with one headlight out. And you’re forced to open up with more strangers. It’s terrifying, actually terrifying. And you’re not the type to be easily terrified.

Now come to think about it, you don’t get why you were so pressed about it five seconds ago. It’s a good opportunity not to leech off your parents as much, like dabbling, taking one baby step at a time into adulthood. After that, you’ll graduate again, probably settle somewhere with an adequate job and find someone, starting to think about having ki-

Hold up, you’re going too far. You’re barely a senior.

“I guess we’ll just have to make the most out of this summer,” Felix’s voice snaps you back to the surface of Earth faster than a tick of a clock. “We’re outside, by the way. Open up.”

That fast? Furrowing your brows, you hang up to slip into a pair of sneakers before sprinting to the front door. Wait, your hand freezes as it grazes the doorknob. We?

Not again.

“Why the fuck..” you cracks a lifelessly crooked smile after pushing the door wide open. “..are you here?” It’s only ten in the morning, and you don’t think you should be screaming at the top of your lungs to be jumped on by the whole neighborhood.

Felix takes a step back, a little scared for his life. “Uhh, to return your earphones?”

“No, no,” you run a hand through your hair tiredly. Just when you thought this day was gonna be peaceful. “I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about them. Since when was this an agreement? How dare-“

“Why yes, I missed you too!” Jisung exclaims like the little shit he is, throwing an arm over your neck to ruffle your hair. No one ruffles your hair without getting their ass slammed- except for Minho. “Why the long face? Let me guess, until this exact second, you thought there’s a fucking squirrel, a lama, a dog, and a kitten standing at your front porch? No, it’s us, your Forever BFFs.” He’s one of the reasons why you refuse to understand the humans’ language sometimes.

With a harsh shove from you, Jisung staggers backward only for Hyunjin to prevent him from rolling like a ball in the middle of your neighborhood. “One more word and I’m telling the whole class who your crush is,” you threaten, earning an involuntary snort from Seungmin.

“I hate to admit this, but she might actually say yes if he makes the first move.”

Hyunjin supplies unconstructively, “That’s why he didn’t ask.”

“You know what, Hwang,” Felix says with a smirk tugging at his lips, bumping his fist against Hyunjin’s without turning his head.

“Oh screw all of you.” Jisung’s getting all the attention he wanted this early in the morning yet he still feels like a loser. Perhaps he should try shutting up once in a while.

four.

“Thanks for giving me a ride, uncle, you really didn’t have to,” Felix says generously from your dad’s back seats, scratching the nape of his neck as though this is the first time he’s ever shared a ride with you.

He’s too humble sometimes you just want to smack him across the face with a pillow to stop being so formal with your dad. Heck, Felix downright called him ‘dad’ by accident once during a Christmas dinner back in middle school and your dad even encouraged him to keep addressing him like that.

Not to mention, Felix is chomping on a turkey sandwich that your mom made this morning specifically for him after finding out that his parents are currently out of town and there's nothing but ramen in the cabinet. God forbids her to starve the same kid who helped your dad fix his bumper. So really, he should be expecting these things by now.

“Oh it’s not a big deal, you’re too nice,” your dad laughs as he pulls over to your school’s front gate, careful not to run into that one really tall, ugly tree. You’re lowkey paranoid that people might die if it collapses during a storm or something. “Perhaps you can return the favor by getting a drink with me sometimes.”

Felix blinks numerous times, slightly gobsmacked. “...but I’m not old enough to drink yet.”

“Correct answer.” And you snicker when your dad turns around to toss a wink at your friend’s direction. “Doesn’t mean that I’m forbidding you kids have fun,” he clarifies upon the baffled expression on Felix’s face. “But not too much fun, got it?”

“Okay, okay dad, I’ll see you in three days,” you shake your head before climbing out of the car. “Don’t starve the cats while I’m gone. Oh! And Soonie still needs his lactobacillus-“

Your dad brushes it off with a sheepish smile, “I’ll leave it to your mom, muffin, I can’t even remember which dry food is for which cat. I also don’t think they’ll be starving anytime soon, those little demons are getting quite fat actually since your brother spoils them all the time.” You can only give him a mere eye-roll because as much as he claims to hate having pets, there have been countless times when you caught your dad red-handed trying to tuck the cats into bed in the middle of the night.

Felix soon catches up with your steps after bidding him farewell, crumpling the sandwich wrapper in his palm. “Wait up, muffin,” he says breathlessly with a few skips, starting to think about not skipping dance practice again this summer before his body gets out of shape.

“Shut up,” you grumble, followed by a harsh elbow jabbed into his side. Felix grunts in pain, slowing down a little but still tries to walk side by side with you nonetheless. “You don’t deserve that complimentary breakfast, I’m telling mom to cut your portion off next time.”

“Ah! Come on, muffin! You’re being mean.”

Your biggest fear has inevitably come true—after all those years of erratic mood swings and other weird things puberty puts you through, Felix still makes fun of you for the nickname that your parents came up with on your first day of school. It doesn’t help with the fact that he meets them quite often too. Like four out of seven days a week since your parents love coming over to each other’s house for dinner.

“Flip that scowl upside down now, will you?” Felix cups your cheeks and squishes them together, attempting to make your smile by tugging at the corners of your lips. “Aren’t you excited about the trip?”

You scoff at him, “Are you even hearing yourself? My entire existence reeks off ‘excitement’ 24/7.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’m not responsible for whatever happens next to your face.”

But when you reach up to peel his hands away, you’re bound to make a grave mistake by looking straight into his eyes. The morning light hits his face at the right angle and it makes him look like a puppy—which you wouldn't mind starting at all day. Although it’s not like you haven’t got a good look at him before, something’s different today. From the way his irises twinkle gently like thousands of celestial bodies to how his freckles scattered across his cheekbones like the remaining bits from a supernova, his full lips with a prominent Cupid’s bow and his cute crooked teeth.

You know all of these things; perhaps you’ve never put too much thought into them before. Not when you’re constantly facepalming at him for doing stupid TikTok dances and trying to eat a banana with its peel on. But now when you actually acknowledge them, your heart momentarily skips a beat. Or two.

Doesn’t matter, you hate this feeling either way.

“Get a room, this is disgusting to watch.”

Seungmin steps in between you two with his backpack slung over his shoulders, hands resting on his hip like he’s babysitting you and your biological parents don’t pay him enough for this tedious job. But Felix is too busy making sure that his eyes aren’t malfunctioning when he sees a pink tint on your cheeks to focus on whatever nonsense Seungmin is spewing at him.

“Get on the bus, losers! Y’all are embarrassing me!” Hyunjin yells as he plants a foot onto the bus, trying his best not to be subtle about the fact that all of your classmates have already been seated.

You can practically see Jisung making weird faces from the window and next to him is a very cranky-looking Jeongin with his earbuds plugged in, deciding not to tolerate any chit-chatting this morning. It’s a shame how the school’s always on a low budget when it comes to transportation; consequently, some random freshmen got squeezed in with your class.

So you elect to ignore your friend’s questionable behaviors (sometimes you wonder what he’s on to be this zealous at six in the morning) and grabs Felix's hand to climb onto the vehicle before coach Kim kicks your ass for slowing the schedule down.

As you shuffle down the narrow aisle, you quickly realize there are only two seats left at the very back—basically, you feel a little guilty for not getting a good spot for Felix but he doesn’t seem to mind because he taps you on the shoulder lightly, signaling for you to move.

“Ugh, I wanna go home,” you sigh, slumping into your seat after tucking your backpack neatly on the small compartment above.

“You’re boring,” Felix comments flatly but he’s partially glad that he got to sit with you instead of some blabberer. “Need this?” Fishing his earphones out of his backpack, he wiggles the banana milk case in front of your face.

You only nod lazily at the offer, causing him to huff in disbelief before slipping in a side of his AirPods into your ear. You both have pretty similar taste in music so you don’t mind when he puts one of his playlists on random and Fly Me to the Moon bleeds into your eardrums. The soft melody makes you yawn a little, eyelids getting droopy.

“Tired.” Is the only warning Felix gets before you decide to drop your head onto his shoulders, slipping your arm around his torso comfortably like it’s a pillow. You personally don’t do cuddles but since he’s into those things and smells nice—very fruity, somewhat musky too, you might as well take advantage of that with the hope of sleeping throughout the entire ride.

“What is wrong with you today?” he asks with glowing cheeks.

“Shh shh, I’m recharging my battery.”

Felix is a little flustered, to say the least. But instead of complaining about your sudden clinginess, he rests his head on top of yours like second nature, allowing his childhood song to drown out some of the background chatters.

You should really be clingy more often… though he’s not gonna risk his pearly white teeth by telling you that.

five.

Your school actually knows how to manage money in a smart way. Shocker, you know.

You are thrown off upon hearing that no one needs to worry about the grizzly bears, or wolves (hey, one can never be too careful) because everyone gets to share a log cabin with a maximum of three other people.

In fact, the camp counselors have confirmed that even though they’re throwing a bunch of inexperienced, dumb high schoolers smacked in the middle of the wilderness, there’s really nothing to do other than boring team-building exercises...and fishing. In other words, the only creature that can somewhat do harm to you is mosquitoes.

It’s been pouring nonstop when your classmates tried to set up the campfire with coach Kim screaming into their eardrums last night, no wonder those little shit are thriving to make your life more miserable—they’re in their element, reproducing at a terrifying pace.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N!”

Hyunjin clutches a hand to his chest in both relief and terror after realizing the curled up figure sitting by the window is just you. He steps inside the cabin completely and flings his wet bangs away from his face, shoving the umbrella in his hand into a stand by the shoe rack. “You look like shit, are you okay?” he furrows his brows, slightly concerned about your eyebags and the way your lips crack from dehydration.

A soulless smile finds its way to your face. “I’m pretty sure ‘shit’ and ‘okay’ aren’t supposed to be in the same sentence but thank you for asking, I appreciate it.”

Here’s another downside to being a homebody: you can’t fucking sleep on any other beds that aren’t yours. And surprisingly that two-hour nap on the bus wasn’t enough to fuel you for the rest of the trip. But lucky you, it’s most likely going to keep raining cats and dogs and trash pandas for the rest of the day. Outdoor activities are no longer mandatory and you can almost hear your non-existent muscles crying in sheer joy.

“Drink,” Hyunjin sighs at your pathetic state and decides to toss a water bottle in your direction.

However, all you do is retrieve your limbs deeper into Felix’s fluffy blanket since he refused to use the grey one that’s draped over every bed beforehand. You’re far beyond grateful for that because those fading, questionable-looking stains just scare the crap out of you. And also because the fluffy blanket smells like him; you rest your case.

“You were knocked out for the entire bus ride, so why the hell can’t you fall asleep on a decent bed?” Shaking his head, Hyunjin plops himself onto Jisung’s bed like a potato, accidentally knocking over the neatly folded pile of clothes. He really doesn’t give two flying fucks about the fact that his friend spent an excessive ten minutes to organize his stuff so coach Kim won’t be barging into their cabin with a megaphone at five in the morning again.

“She can only fall asleep on Felix, that’s why.” You roll your eyes in the bitchiest way possible, not bothering to chuck the abandoned water bottle at the unwanted guest of this terrific conversation.

Hyunjin almost lets out a shriek when Seungmin jolts up from his bed, hair messy, a leg sticking out from his comforter. “You know, until this exact moment, I thought that you were dead or something.”

“What I’m trying to say is,” Seungmin elaborates as he bends over to reach for his glasses with squinted eyes. “There’s a 99,9% that Felix will make the first move but at the same time, it doesn’t mean the other 0,01% won’t happen so you,” he jabs his index finger towards you. “Better be doing something other than walking around camp like a zombie.”

Hyunjin tilts his head in confusion. “Since when was this even a thing?” You’re this close to have a permanent hand imprint on your forehead for facepalming every two seconds with your idiotic friends around.

“Uhh, since forever?” Seungmin feels the need to voice out. “Listen, since the day Y/N spilled orange juice on Felix’s favorite shirt, the amount of times they’re forced to be together has risen tremendously. And when their parents found out their families live like ten minutes away from each other, they practically see each other every single day. Even outside of school. They tolerate each other, meaning the dynamic is long-lasting. Their bonding encouraged friendship.”

“But we’re her friends too?”

A deep breath. “No, their friendship was incited to grow into something bigger, more profound because Felix has a special ‘click’ with Y/N that he doesn’t with us. God, Hyunjin, it’s been what, almost a decade! How could you not see it?” Seungmin says with expressive hands, almost yanking every strand of hair off of his head. It’s too early for this, his brain is about to implode. Hwang Hyunjin being dense just feels like a metaphoric chokehold to him.

“Y/N,” Hyunjin simply ignores his frustrated friend to look over at you slipping into your sneakers. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.”

“That’s because she’s about to either shut the door in my face then find Felix or kick my ass and then find Felix,” Seungmin informs with a yawn, and this prompts you to muster a fake smile.

Oh, I’m fucking livid.

“You know me too well.”

He questions with heavy irony, “I’m sorry did you just agree with me?”

“Oh no, no, I take that back,” you brush him off. “Is Felix still outside fishing?”

“I think so?” Hyunjin replies while running a hand through his hair in mere distress; Felix’s competitiveness goes a little mayhem sometimes when it comes to Jisung being better than him at something since they’re so close. That’s one of the sole reasons why Felix always manages to maintain his flying GPA because Han Jisung procrastinates like no other but still tops his class every single semester.

“I didn’t find him at the lake, though, wonder where he went.”

You widen your eyes, somewhat alarmed since it’s almost lunchtime, and Felix Lee never, and you mean never, ever let himself skip a meal. He always gets a nice nap after stuffing his face with enough good food too, so that’s a bonus. But that’s not the point, the point is: you’re starting to get a little worried because he’s been fishing all morning, wandering alone in the wilderness without a camp counselor.

You’d better not find him sleeping with the fishes.

six.

Maybe you were right, maybe Felix is a dumbass.

Because listening to his ego and coming back to the lake after breakfast was a horrendous idea.

It’s such a pity how those weird-looking vehicles have stopped driving around camp the moment it started pouring outside. Heck, he didn’t even bring an umbrella after asking the coach to check today's forecast.

So tragically, he’s now stuck underneath the canopy of a cafe ensuing coursing his way through the water blizzard and seeking refuge but can’t walk back to his cabin where his cabin-mates are probably having the time of their life drinking hot chocolate and nibbling on hand-picked fruits.

Felix exhales in torment while gazing outside, everything’s completely white-out thanks to droplets of raining streaking the horizon. Perhaps dashing back might be his one solitary option, but shivers soon run up his spine again, reminding him that he’s probably looking like a wet rat—his black Converse sodden, water seeping through the thin fabric of his uniform, numbing his skin.

Ruffling his wet fringe, Felix’s hand fishes inside his pocket to look for his phone only to realize that it’s not there. “Shit...great..just great, today is my lucky day.” Even if the camp counselors didn’t confiscate all the electronic devices, there wouldn’t be any service in the middle of the woods either. Splendid.

“Ugh, Y/N,” he groans under his breath. “Why did you let me do this?”

“Shit.”

“AHH!”

Felix shrieks upon the tiny voice squeaking out from behind him. And he sighs in pure relief to see a little girl standing mere inches away, looking no more than a seven-year-old dressed in a yellow raincoat. “Hey kid,” he chuckles and crouches down to her eye level. “Where are your parents? You’re not supposed to be out here alone when it’s pouring like crazy.”

And to his dismay, “Shit,” the little girl giggles, finding a new profound interest in the curse word that he accidentally spewed out seconds ago.

“Shh shh,” Felix frantically places an index finger on his lips while darting his eyes around in terror—he might be sued if her parents found out how their daughter picked up a bad word from some random high schooler. Suddenly he feels bad for his future kids. “No, no, we can’t say that. It’s forbidden. What’s your name?”

“Mina,” she answers cutely and fiddles with the ends of her braids. “Who’s Y/N? Is she your girlfriend?”

Felix chokes on his own saliva. “...no, why would you say that?”

“I don’t know, my dad always calls my mom’s name when he messes things up.”

“What does that have to do with- oh, shit,” he facepalms himself. This kid is going to give him a cardiac arrest any second now. “It doesn’t matter if she’s my girlfriend or not, what matters is I need to get you back to your parents. Do you know where they are right now?”

Mina simply shakes her head with a pout. “Okay, let’s go find them then,” he can’t help but cracks a smile, ruffling her hair endearingly. Most kids would be bawling their eyes out by now knowing that they’ve strayed from their parents; she’s a tough one.

Felix gently grabs Mina’s hand, biting down on his lower lip as he prays that a cold doesn’t catch up to him tomorrow and ready to dash out of the canopy that’s been keeping him dry for the last hour or two. But then a figure comes into view from afar, holding an umbrella while squinting their eyes through the thick streaks of rain.

“Y/N..?” he mutters to himself in disbelief when you quickly skip underneath the canopy, collapsing the red umbrella in your hands. Felix recognizes that umbrella anywhere—isn’t that Hyunjin’s? Have you been looking for him? And for how long too?

“Didn’t even think about bringing an umbrella, smartass,” you say with a raised eyebrow. “Oh dear, who do we have here?” Before Felix can defend himself in vain with lame excuses, you’ve already taken your attention off him to stare at the unfamiliar presence. Your intense gaze scares Mina a little, causing the little girl to squeeze Felix’s hand, hiding behind his leg.

Your friend laughs, patting her little head in reassurance. “Mina, this is Y/N, my classmate. Don’t let her intimidate you.”

“Are you really going to bother with this little one?” you scrunch your nose a bit. “We’re having pork rib soup, by the way, better hurry if you don’t want Han to hog your portion all to himself.”

Felix rolls his eyes at how utterly apathetic you are towards children. If you can get a perfect A in calc then why is it so hard to simply comprehend that every twelve-year-old needs to be returned to their hypothetical parents safely? “What part of ‘a common sense of morality’ can’t you understand?”

“I don’t want to, actually, sounds like a lot of work,” you hum sarcastically.

“Your girlfriend is scary,” Mina ensconces herself further behind your friend, officially detecting you as a threat rather than someone who will potentially bring her back to the cabin where her parents are probably flipping the whole place upside down in a panic—which is exactly what you’re planning to do.

In your defense, you don’t detest kids in general. Only the bratty ones. And Mina is borderline bratty.

“You know, I can spare her some time, Lost and Found is like..ten minutes away from here.”

“Y/N-” Felix wants to scream at you, rubbing the side of his temple in distress. Imagining you babysitting your neighbor’s newborn last summer with nine bucks per hour, ten hours per day, and five out of seven days per week is one of the few things that constantly keeps him from having a good night's sleep. It baffles him how you haven’t accidentally drowned the infant while giving her a bath.

Mina gives the side of his jeans a tug, round eyes staring up at him expectantly. “Or we can get juice pops!” she exclaims happily and looks over to you, mustering her best puppy eyes. “Please? I don’t want to be alone..”

“Twenty seconds ago, you called me scary and now you’re guilt-tripping me?” you crouch down to get a good look at the kid. Bright, innocent brown eyes, cute button nose, and a chipped front tooth—perhaps she’s a little too cute to not get her juice pops.

Then, “And juice pops too? You evil mad mind genius,” you say after standing up to unfold Hyunjin’s umbrella, swinging it over the top of your head. “That’s extortion, kid, you’re too young for that.”

Felix breaks into a fit of giggles upon seeing you failing at trying to keep a straight face and steps in beside you under the umbrella. His next problem just pops up right then and there—Mina can’t squeeze in considering the umbrella that Hyunjin gave you is solely used for one person.

“Mina, hop on here,” he decides to get on his knees, permitting the little girl to clumsily climb on his back and eventually plopping herself onto his shoulders.

“Oh, oh, oh, can you two hold hands?” Mina suggests with a shit-eating grin on her face. This causes Felix’s cheeks to burn with a bright shade of red while you’re too busy throwing daggers at her with your eyes to notice. “My family does this all the time, my dad would carry me on his shoulders and my mom would hold his hand as we walk home after going to the park.”

You and Felix yell simultaneously, “We’re not your parents!!” But that doesn’t seem to scare the little girl. You’re both just encouraging her.

“Yip yip, horsey, don’t be disobedient now,” she giggles to herself and pulls at a solid patch of Felix’s hair, making you cringe because his hair and scalp have already had enough from his questionable obsession with bright hair colors.

“Ow! Mina! Stop it! Ow!”

“Okay quit torturing my friend,” you tell her and decide to slip your hand in with Felix’s, intertwining your fingers to secure the grip before showing it to Mina so that she’ll stop before any blood is drawn. “There, we’re holding hands just like your mommy and daddy, you happy?”

Felix doesn’t say anything even when Mina nods happily, releasing her monstrous grip off his poor scalp. He only lets you tug him away from the canopy of the cafe as he gazes downward, eyes glued to how your hand fits into his perfectly. The sound of rain tapping against the umbrella suddenly bugs him, suffocating him in a way. In other words, it’s really unnatural to think this way about his best friend but he doesn't want you to let go at all.

Everything seems to move faster when you’re holding onto his hand so certainly. Felix thinks you’re fully aware but try to fight off the voices that are taunting you to just drop it. And truth is, you can care less because your head is now far too fuzzy to focus on anything but the road ahead.

You pray he doesn’t feel the pounding rhythm from your veins. If your red ears haven’t given it away already.

seven.

Jisung has weird friends, that’s a fact. And no, you’re not talking about the gang that saved his ass every time he got into trouble aka you plus JeongMinLixJin. You’re talking about those kids from Class 2C that are mutual friends with Changbin.

Because the moment Jisung barges into the cabin and starts babbling nonsense that you can’t comprehend (not that you can comprehend any of his shit on the daily), you know that he just came back from a get together with those sketchy dudes who managed to sneak some booze inside a shampoo bottle.

“Uhm okay, who gave Felix alcohol?” he squints his eyes hard.

You are more than aware that Jisung is mildly smashed by the way that his cheeks are tinted with a light shade of coral, hiccupping every ten seconds and slightly more clumsy with his feet. He almost tripped over the rug at the front door if it weren’t for Hyunjin who caught him in time so that he wouldn’t break one of his precious teeth. Those painful years of constantly slurping on watery porridge after every dentist appointment to tighten his braces shouldn’t be going down the drain.

Speaking of bland rice water, that’s all Felix has been fed with after returning to camp because he has no choice. The sickness finally caught up to him as a result of staying outside for too long while still dressed in his rain-soaked uniform. Even under the cotton comforter, he’s radiating heat on the outside but stoically shivering on the inside, his energy level is as diminished as his appetite.

The nurse said there’s really nothing that can be done but give him some pills and let him ride it out so now Felix’s all curled up in a corner of his bed, cheeks burning flush of fever, coughing and sneezing occasionally. He refuses to be moved to a completely separate cabin because sleeping alone in a confined place knowing that the grizzly bears might be roaming outside your door is quite frightening for a junior in high school.

“God, what makes you think I’m the batshit drunk one here?” Felix croaks, his voice more hoarse and gruff than usual because every word pains him, his vocal cords pulse in agony at each syllable. And that sentence was probably the longest thing you’ve heard from him since dinner.

Jisung lets Hyunjin toss him onto his bed, face down, and props himself up on his forearms. “Uhh, have you checked yourself the mirror?” he hiccups, words a bit slurred, palms outstretched in a grabby motion. “Seungmin, water- ow! What the fuck was that!?”

He rubs the side of his head while babbling incoherently like a fucking five-year-old because Seungmin decided to chuck a water bottle at him. Those years of playing baseball during retreats indeed paid off.

“I went for the head,” Seungmin looks up from his book calmly, acting innocent.

Jisung whines and turns to his side, watching as the water bottle rolls back towards him after coming in contact with the wall. “God, I miss Minho. You guys suck,” he takes it before sitting right up but flops himself back down when a pang of pain claws at his temple. Who even allowed him to drink?

“Didn’t he make your high school experience miserable?” Hyunjin laughs, sitting down on the corner of his bed, legs curled into his chest.

“Hello? That was me,” Seungmin clarifies, he sounds a little offended. “He called me a nerd for studying late at the library for our finals! Our fucking finals! Do you know how insecure my freshman self was? I was so hurt!”

You cross your arms and mumble, “He’s the same guy who treated you ice-cream after finding out you got a B in physics.”

Hyunjin hums, butting into the topic, “And he made me do fifty push-ups because I unintentionally skipped a day at practice. Our Dance Club really didn’t need a president who effortlessly snatches the Asshole of the Year Award like he’s stealing candies from a kid.”

“Please, you’re practically buddies now,” you scoff. “You always play Mario Kart and rewatch the Avatar series with him, even during midterms!”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Jisung suddenly gets on his feet, jumping up and down like a maniac. You’re highly concerned for the bed by the creaking sound that it’s making—sounds just like something straight out of a horror film. “He almost threw a knife at me!”

You’re running out of excuses to defend your stupid brother at this rate. What’s the point in trying anyway? “Han, it was a plastic knife, chill.”

Jisung crawls off his bed to approach you, pinching his thumb and index finger together before shoving them to your face. “I was this close to dying! You try having someone threaten to throw a knife at you during lunch break,” he complains like it’s the end of the world. Truth is, you’ve seen (and experienced) worse things.

“Minho’s still my brother.”

Staring at you, Jisung looks unimpressed. “He wanted to kill me because I commented on his puffy cheeks that day.”

“He’s adopted.”

The conversation is pulled to a halt right there when Felix does a full-body groan, his head spinning and sweats starting to collect at his hairline. With his mind buzzed like he’s floating, the bickering only adds to the pressure that’s squeezing each of his functioning brain cells. In other words, it feels as though Han Jisung is a fucking hamster going on a marathon across his body, nibbling on his limbs and ears as he’s going through a hangover, his immune system going on a rampage.

Felix doesn’t even drink.

“That’s my call for a bedtime story.” You glare at Jisung when he clears his throat while you’re attempting to tuck Felix into bed, pressing your palm against his forehead to check his temperature. It’s not climbing anymore, he should be okay after sweating everything out.

Hyunjin pulls his friend back onto his bed, locking his limbs in tight before he waddles around and potentially breaks one of those decorative pieces on the bookshelf. “Not to burst your ego, but I don’t think you’re sober enough to give us a good story,” he says unapologetically.

“Puh-lease,” Jisung lets out the weirdest chuckle at that, wagging his forearm like those Japanese ceramic cat figures that are supposed to bring people good fortune; and Han Jisung is notorious for bringing people anything but good fortune. “They didn’t even have vodka, only Strongbow. That shit is too weak for me.”

You snort involuntarily, “Actually, I think you meant you’re too weak for those bottles of cider.”

“Wow, Y/N, what a snake.”

eight.

The bonfire crackles, flaring up to life when coach Kim tosses a lit matchstick into the pyramid pile of branches and woods. The flame projects long shadows of the trees all round along, swirling and curling in obscure shapes with the high schoolers that each hugs their own cup of hot cocoa, chomping on their marshmallows of choice.

Glowing embers beneath are colored by the inferno that seems to be moving with the rhythm and melody of the song that they’re all singing along, drumming their feet and bobbing their heads simultaneously.

“Are you guys sure you don’t want to join them?” Felix says apologetically after sneezing into a piece of tissue, his nose all red and swollen. “I can just… I don’t know, read a book or something.”

When he refers to those oddly colorful and rather bulky-looking books on the shelves, Seungmin immediately stops putting a cookie inside his mouth midway. “Those are called ‘aesthetically useless interior decoration’, Lix. Good luck trying to open those plastic blocks,” he expresses with his hands after stuffing the cookie into his mouth, chewing rather aggressively.

Felix feels quite bad because, for all he knows, Hyunjin and Seungmin have been planning on going kayaking today and trying out volleyball tomorrow. You’re all going home in two days yet they’ve done nothing but pigging out in pure distress. “Still, it’s a summer camp, you all should be out there having fun, not stuck inside to look after me while tolerating...that,” he quietly looks over at Jisung who just exited the bathroom after splashing his face with some water.

At least he doesn’t look crazy and homeless now.

“How are they doing that again?” you join Hyunjin as he rests his head lazily on his forearms, staring outside from the cabin’s window like Rapunzel in an alternative universe where Flynn Rider managed to escape the tower with the crown, leaving her behind longing for civil human interactions in vain.

“They sing..” he drawls. “And turn their heads to look at each other in the eye.”

You wave it off absentmindedly, falling on your back so now your head is hung upside down from the bed, your arms dangling midair. “Well, that sounds exhausting,” you mumble, ignoring the way that Seungmin is internally judging you.

Hyunjin sighs, “Never one for sentiment, are you?”

“Easier to let it burn,” you answer flatly, sitting upright when blood starts rushing to your head.

“Don’t feel bad,” Seungmin immediately forces a smile at Felix. “We’re not really into sitting with a bunch of idiots just to enjoy a mildly decent hot cocoa either way.”

Suddenly the lights go out, and Felix immediately curls himself further into the blanket, a little thrown off. Jisung’s face comes into view out of nowhere when he makes a grab for the oil lamp that no one seems to take notice of, lighting it up with a single match. “C’mon, kids, no bonfire is complete without a good ghost story,” he crosses his legs on the floor happily, still somewhat tipsy so his body is bouncing in excitement with occasional hiccups.

Hyunjin and Seungmin exchange questionable looks before scrambling to the floor, settling themselves a few solid inches in front of the oil lamp with a sigh while you only shrug at Felix, propping your head onto your hands. Laziness is starting to hold you hostage on Hyunjin’s bed at this rate.

Seungmin spares Jisung a slight glare, “Better not bullshit us with the same one that you heard at school-”

“No,” Jisung’s lips morph into something similar to a smirk, he looks concerningly confident for someone who’s utterly terrified after watching IT. And now he’s attempting to give his bros who are equally jumpy about everything and anything, you’re excited to see how this goes. “I heard this one from a camp counselor, true story.” You definitely don’t like the sound of that.

At first, the ghost was no more than a chill in the air, a shimmer of mist to the common eyes. Through the heavy rain and fog that seeps through people’s skin, chilling the core of their bones, it slowly came into focus. It wasn’t until the camper found refuge under a canopy of an abandoned café that it congealed into a form—a small child with brilliant round eyes, dressed in white clothing.

For a moment, all was silent and still. It was as though the camper got hypnotized, feet planted to the ground. Then, he could hear a small lullaby in a cheerful voice.

“Oranges and Lemons say the bells of St.Clements…” They know how that one ended.

Suddenly someone blows out the candle, but Jisung’s voice still rings in your eardrums. “When the camper took a step back, the ghost spoke again, this time with the voice almost of a smoker and grin…” You can feel Hyunjin hop back to bed with you in a tick of a clock, holding onto you for dear life with the infrequent whimpers of fear.

Jisung proceeds to continue, “The grin soon became a snarl, baring teeth like a wolf when it finished the lullaby…”

A muffled silence descends. And, “Have you come to play…?”

“AHHH!!” Felix lets out a petrified shriek, but what confuses you is the sound of Jisung grunting rather in pain. Seungmin sighs in disapproval, flickering the lights on while leaning back against the wall.

And now before your eyes is a slightly traumatized, feverish Felix with clattering teeth, quivering inside his blanket. Whereas, Jisung is sprawled across the floor, hugging his poor stomach, hacking up lungs. Deserve.

“This is why you don’t give people who can high-kick jump scares, dumbass,” Seungmin comments and crouches down in front of Jisung like his knight in shiny armors, letting a bottle of ointment dangle between his fingers. “Put this on, bet it’s already bruising.”

Hyunjin releases his arms around you and walks towards the freckled boy who looks like he’s about to slip into a coma. “Lix, are you okay?” he knits his brows together, starting to feel somewhat concerned.

Felix only waves it off with a raspy laugh, standing on wobbly legs with his blanket still wrapped around his figure. “I’m fine, I’ll just go wash my face.” Truth is, he’s anything but fine. And it doesn’t help when he accidentally has a glance of his own reflection in the body-length mirror from across the cabin—his hair is sticking to his forehead, his face is slightly more puffy than usual, and his eyebags look like he hasn’t slept in decades—he looks worse than a trash can, basically.

“Hyunjin,” you raise a brow at your friend’s current state.

“What?”

“Catch him.”

“Huh-” Hyunjin snaps his head back when a loud thud is heard, eyes growing twice as big in sheer panic upon the sight of Felix laying on his stomach, mere inches away from his feet. “Felix!!” Your friends rush to his side while you’re too busy checking the thermometer by his nightstand. The temperature doesn’t seem to be too alarming, he should be fine after sleeping and sweating it out. But really, Felix looks more like he’s having the nap of a lifetime rather than passing out from the worst fever of the century. That doesn’t stop everyone from freaking out, unfortunately.

Also, everyone can agree that this is the first and last storytime to ever happen.

nine.

Felix sits on the beach, eyes moving from sand to stone, from rock pools to breaking waves. He lets out a sigh, an exhale of relief when a breeze passes by him, tousling his hair as he buries his feet deeper into the primrose-colored grains. The briny aroma that exists in every fiber of air makes him feel at ease, as though unknotting all his angsty-teenager worries with grace. He feels a bit better, partially because his fever has already gone down when he shook you out of your half-asleep state at four in the morning.

“Why?” you ask without turning your head after sensing his tense posture.

Felix looks confused, a little startled when you break the silence. “Why what?”

“Why the long face?” you unknowingly exhale too, stubbornly gazing forward. “Thinking about something?” For some reason, you’re too...scared to even spare him a small glance. This isn’t you, did his fever rub off on you or something?

To your dismay, his sudden inquiry catches you off guard. “High school is going to be over in a year, have you thought about what to do?”

You open your mouth to protest with something along the line of he’s overthinking again and there’s still an entire year ahead to make new memories but when you’re about to utter the first word, your mouth automatically snaps itself close. It’s like you have an entire masterpiece planned out in your mind but when someone tosses you a blank canvas, you’re standing there in defeat like the biggest idiot. Felix is serious this time, you know it’s not because he’s lightheaded after riding out the fever.

“Honestly?” you breathe out. “No, I haven’t. God, I don’t even want to think about it, the future scares me a little.”

Upon the mossed rock and vibrant horizon, comes the sun rays that are promised by the starlit sky. It makes you both a little breathless, not exchanging a single word nor moving a muscle for a while.

Until, “Fine, it scares me a whole lot,” you confess, gaze cast downward as you hug your legs closer to your chest. “It sucks because everyone seems to have their lives together, Jisung is finally taking his interest in music seriously, Hyunjin is planning on being an actual theater kid, and Seungmin is...I don’t know, but he’s definitely onto something. Point is, everyone is already one too many steps ahead of me, I’m just..here, stuck. And I don’t feel like I have-”

“A lot of time left.” Felix finishes your sentence, prompting you to look at him this time. His delicate features shine under the cracking lights of dawn, starry eyes twinkling and lips outstretched into the smile that you absolutely adore. He has such a contagious type of smile that it makes you feel a little less dead inside whenever you see it. But your heartbeat also grows a little more ecstatic.

A hearty chuckle. “You’re not alone, you know,” he says while not breaking away from the eye contact, this makes your throat grow dry. “I still have so much to do, so much to...say yet too little time. So yeah, don’t think about it too much, I’m never gonna leave you behind no matter what.”

You have to hold back a playful scoff at that; and to think he was the one who brought up this sappy topic. “If anything, you’re the overthinker in this relationship,” you tell him with a nudge on his rib. “But if you’ve already had my back, then you should know that I’ll always have yours too.”

Because what would you do without an overthinker like Felix? Drowning your sorrow by stress-eating in the middle of the night? Bottoming out on questionable drinks to end up like Han Jisung? Winging every single important choice that can potentially flip your life upside down in either a good or bad way? Not in a million years. He knows that you need him as much as he needs you, harsh truth but you still hate it either way.

You both don’t look forward to the future, like at all.

You’re too apathetic and overall just a big ‘meh’ about it. You’re the type of person that goes with the flow, letting life toss you around like a ragdoll until you finally snap at some point to fight back because you know where the line between giving up and knowing that you’ve had enough is. Meanwhile, Felix is rather anxious about things. If a piece of paper with a pencil can draw out the map of his entire destiny ahead then he’ll have it finished in one night. But he’s grown out of his middle school self to know that things don’t always go as planned.

Guess if things turn out to be shit, you’ll still have him.

“Does that mean if we’re still single in our thirties, you’ll marry me like how our parents always joke about?” Felix cracks a shit-eating grin this time, one that makes your heart swell but for the most part, you wanna whack him unconscious with a pillow.

You sneer in return, “Sure, but you’ll have to fall for me first.”

There’s a pang in Felix’s chest, it’s so loud and evident that he’s afraid you might hear it. You really didn’t have to slap him in the face with that seemingly harmless statement. “Hmm, who would even fall for a stubborn hermit crab like you?” he jokes to hide the nervousness that’s crawling upon his spine. His ears are probably bright red right now. “Although...that wouldn’t be a problem with me.” Because he’s already fallen for you, a little too hard actually.

“What does that even mean?” you only hum after questioning his statement, nothing makes sense right now since you’re getting a little sleepy because a certain someone wanted to watch the sunrise which simply lasted for about two minutes after two(ish) hours of waiting.

“I don’t know,” Felix laughs before standing up, dusting the sand off of his jeans. “You go figure it out, smartass.” With that, he runs off with his Converses dangling between his fingers, leaving you dumbfounded in the middle of the beach like a total dimwit. Slowly, within those five seconds of making eye contact with your best friend again, his words zero in on you like a wakeup call.

Urgently grabbing your sneakers, you chase after him. “Hey- wait! GET BACK HERE!” By looks of it, you’ve probably figured it out now. It’s not like he’s trying to be subtle either.

Felix feels like he just gained strength from spewing out that indirect confession, and it gives him a tiny ray of hope that he still has his entire youth before his eyes to tell you how he really feels. Or his whole life if you don’t start resenting him for crossing the line that no one dares talk about when they have a thing for their best friend.

Either way, as long as Felix sees your presence side by side with him at every ups and downs, he’s home.

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