#joad cressbeckler

[humbababa]

Now we got plenty to jaw on. Everybody's hollerin' about what's called "Gay Marriage" after them gays marched their rainbers in Washington. So here talkin' like a big ol' toad in a puddle for the National Association of Marriage, Brian Brown.

Good to be here Joad.

What's your bug with gays, Brown?

Well, my organization feels it's important to keep the sanctity of marriage. Legally sanctioning two men to marry would be harmful and.....

Hold up, hold up, hold Hold Hold up! You never been minin' on a mountain durin' the chillin' season?! Fortnight in the Blackhills, two men gotta pile up together to stay warm!

That may be, but the government...

Gets colder 'an a Boston coffin up there in them hills. You sayin' it ain't right for two old prospectors to tug at eachother's peckers to keep 'em from droppin' off in a frostbite?!

Well the facts are that homosexuality is bad for families and....

Family? We had our own family up in the mines, called it a "warm skin" family.

But legal marriage has always been defined as between a man and a woman and....

Them mines ain't no place for women-folk! Can't lead a mule uphill, can't haul no bounty with all them pillowy-parts, And, the bears are right attracted to their menses.

But it is bad for a child to be raised by a same-sex couple.

No it ain't! You need them tiny hands to reach inside a them cave cracks and pinch all that gold! You can't do that with a grown man's hand.

We're talking about regular families. It doesn't matter whatever happened to you in those mines and......

DOESN'T MATTER?! You hold a man in your arms through the night and you feel his sweat and his bristles and....still say It Doesn't Matter?! You damn well Hush Up!

The good part starts at 0:43 seconds

[caesarsaladinn]

*Joad Cressbeckler voice* now I don’t know nothin’ bout no foot ball but back in my day if a man wanted to see a chief fight a fordy-niner he’d just go down to the local saloon and start talkin’ bout gold in the Black Hills!

[chrisdant]

Everyone needs some Joad Cressbeckler in their lives.

[thelifeofryan]

Finale party at the Hudson Eatery.  I love hanging out with this dude.

[caesarsaladinn]

are my followers aware of Joad Cressbeckler?