#jk they hit at 15 with

[poguesmaybank]

My top two albums have no songs in my top ten songs.

[chewysgummies]

I seriously need a iPad tablet and a new art software

[jeonstudios]

dextrocardia | 15

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, (smut?)

word count: 6k

warnings: self-esteem issues, feelings

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 15/? 

<previous | next>

© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

The ride home lasts ten minutes, during which you’re holding back tears the entire time. It’s only when you’re finally inside your own apartment that you let them fall. It doesn’t help to see Fenrir’s collar and leash hanging next to your jackets, or his bowls still on the floor. In a way, it feels like you’re back at square one. 

You know you promised Jeongguk you’d call Jihyo, but you don’t, knowing she’d disapprove of you being on your own probably just as much as he does. Still, realizing that sooner or later you’ll need to either get back to work or find another job, you send her a text, asking if there’s any case for you to work on remotely until you’re ready to return fully.

The first night back is emotional, but you’re relieved to finally be home.

“I don’t think it matters how hard you throw it,” a worried Jimin watches Jeongguk hurl a dart at the dartboard. “Actually, I’m pretty sure you’d see better results if you didn’t throw it like an Olympic javelin thrower.”

Jeongguk doesn’t reply, just rolls his eyes and grabs another dart. The music around them is surprisingly quiet, drowned out by the chatter of the bustling bar.

“So, care to tell me what’s up with him?” Jin asks, nodding toward Jeongguk as he sets the three pints of beer on the table and takes a seat. 

“His little lady left him,” Jimin explains sadly, sliding one of the pints closer to Jeongguk.

“Oh. Why? You weren’t a couple, were you?” Jin asks.

“No,” is all Jeongguk mutters before he heads over to the dartboard to retrieve the darts. He has three of them, but only one actually hit the board; the other two embarrassingly stuck to the wood-paneled wall. From the marks already there, he’s at least not the first terrible dart-thrower. When he returns to the table with all the darts in hand, he pushes his designated pint back toward Jimin. “Can’t drink.”

Jimin meets his eyes, looking defeated. Jeongguk already explained that when you’re not with him, he can’t risk being drunk in case you need him. If you called, saying Hoseong had found you, Jeongguk would not hesitate to get on his bike or in his car, no matter how much he’s had to drink, and driving under the influence is something he’d rather avoid.

“She’s scared of me,” he repeats what you told him a few nights ago. Hearing the words from his own mouth stings less, but his heart still aches and his blood boils. He throws another dart but misses the board, and it sticks to the wall a few inches left of it. 

“Wait. What do you mean?” Jin asks, confusion written all over his face.

“Yeah. Although I’m pretty sure she hasn’t ruled out that I’ll just snap one day and kill her, she’s mostly scared that I’ll want to hurt her emotionally.”

“But why would you? I thought you two were doing alright? I mean, she’s been living with you for, what, the last month?”

“We were. Or at least, I thought so. She kissed me, and we were… getting closer, but I guess it freaked her out.”

“Why?”

“Remember how I told you I was horrible to her before I found out what Hoseong had done? Yeah, the things I said… they were inhumane.”

“What did you say?”

Jeongguk throws another dart, swinging his arm and using way too much force. “What haven’t I said? I’ve told her that she’s too ugly for me to look at, that she needs to stop eating, that she’s incompetent, and that she basically deserved being trafficked if only the traffickers would take her. That’s the short version.”

“Fuck, man,” Jimin breathes in disbelief. Jeongguk told him what happened ages ago but not explicitly what he’d said to you.

“Yeah. I just… I wanted her to hurt, to pay for what I thought she’d done, but she never seemed affected. I’d call her something, and she’d flip me off or glare at me or call me an idiot or whatever, but she never… I thought she didn’t care, so the next time I saw her, I said something worse. But I wouldn’t have, obviously, if I… If I… knew.”

Jin puts his glass down, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. “I mean, I haven’t met her, but isn’t she, like, objectively very pretty? From what I’ve heard?”

“Yeah, she is,” Jeongguk sighs. “Which is also why I didn’t think she’d take it to heart, ‘cause what I said isn’t true in the slightest.” 

“But can’t she see how pathetically in love you are? No offense,” Jimin asks. “I mean, I take it you’ve apologized and probably told her what you really think? She doesn’t trust that?”

Jeongguk falls silent as he retrieves the darts again, shamefully avoiding eye contact with his friends on his way back.

“Wait, you haven’t apologized?”

“Of course I have,” he argues before lowering his voice. “I just kinda… fucked it up.”

He feels the confused stares of his friends. “I’ve apologized many, many times for how I treated her, and she seemed to kinda accept that? But I never explicitly apologized for the things I said. Nor have I told her how I actually feel about her.”

He sees how Jimin is about to tell him exactly what he thinks about that, but Jeongguk cuts him off before he's able to.

“After I somehow convinced her to stay with me, I thought carefully about how to act around her. I thought that it would be better to apologize for… everything. I thought ‘I’m sorry for how I treated you’ would cover it. And I didn’t want her to second-guess my intentions, so I didn’t actually tell her what I really think.”

“You mean ‘second-guess your intentions’ as in…” Jin trails off.

“As in think that I chose to help her because I was interested in her. I didn’t want her to think I had an agenda or to feel like she’d owe me in any way. She hasn’t had the best experience with men—men in law enforcement, especially—so I wanted to be as… safe, I guess, as possible for her. I didn’t realize she was still thinking about it, taking what I said as the truth.”

Jimin sighs. “So she thinks you might still consider her the ugliest creature to walk the earth is what you’re saying?”

“Apparently. I tried to convince her before she left, but of course, it didn’t seem genuine. I don’t blame her.”

A bit more optimistic, Jin tilts his head. “You don’t think she’ll believe you if you just tell her exactly what you just told us?”

But Jeongguk lets his shoulders slump. “I don’t think so. She told me I scare her because I have a desire to hurt anyone who wrongs me, and she doesn’t feel like she can read me. And I believe her. I wanted to hurt her, and during the mission, I had to pretend to love her when I really didn’t, so I kept switching up on her.”

The atmosphere shifts from frustrated and sad to just sad as Jeongguk runs his thumb over the dart in his hand.

“I lose either way. If I tell her that what I said back then was true, then I think she’s ugly, and I wanted to hurt her by saying so. But if I say that I lied and that she’s really the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, then I still wanted to hurt her. And after everything she’s been through, she doesn’t want a man with a desire to hurt.”

“But like you said, you didn’t mean to hurt her to that point, more so to be taken down a notch? And it got out of hand?”

“Is there a difference? I’ve hurt her, probably beyond what is salvageable, and she thinks I’m still capable of that; that if we disagree on something, I might turn on her.”

With a deep breath, you pull open the doors to the police station one chilly Monday morning, the sky outside gray and heavy with the threat of snow. It’s been three weeks since you came home, and though Jihyo put up a fight, she eventually agreed to let you stay.

Since months have passed, and you still haven’t caught Hoseong and his crew, you figure you might as well try to get back to normal. So you started planning your return to work, but then Christmas came, which you spent at your mother’s, two hours away.

Jihyo also agreed not to tell Jeongguk about your living arrangements, per your desperate request. You’d rather not deal with his savior complex, and you know he’d park outside your building if he thought you were in danger. You scoff to yourself, but almost immediately, guilt settles in. A savior complex isn’t why he’s worried about you; he’s just a good guy. You know that. Still, you don’t want him to know.

Walking through the station at nine a.m.—on your way to Jihyo’s office to discuss your new assignment—you almost hold your breath. Some officers glance your way, still not used to seeing you back, and maybe even less used to seeing you without Jeongguk. Or maybe they know you had a “falling out?” Would he tell anyone here? Jihyo, maybe, if she didn’t already know, but you’re not sure if he’d tell anyone else; his closest friends besides Jimin don’t work at this station anyway. And Jimin probably wouldn’t gossip about you either.

Jihyo is waiting for you when you reach the door to her office, calling out for you to come in as soon as you knock.

“Hey,” you say, closing the door behind you.

“Hey. Want a donut?” she asks from behind her desk, happily pointing to the open box, a half-eaten donut in hand and what you assume is part of the other half in her mouth.

“Nah, I’m good,” you grin, sitting down in front of her.

“Alright,” she says, swallowing and wiping some crumbs from her lap. “So, I’ve been looking over your request and proposed methods.”

You watch as she pulls her laptop in front of her, setting the donut down on the table, and starts scrolling.

“And I’d say it’s very reasonable if we’re okay with the risks.”

“I don’t think there are any risks at all, actually,” you argue softly. “We parted on good terms.”

“Yeah, I know. And they played a part in your survival. But I’m still gonna need to have a risk analysis performed. Who would you want to go with you? I could assign Sana, I think, if you want her? She’s on an assignment right now, but we’re hoping they’ll be done by Wednesday, give or take.”

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m glad to see you back and wanting to work on what matters to you. I know the chief—ex-chief—did his best to be a pain in the ass for you.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait until the investigation’s finished, honestly. He deserves to rot in jail.”

“Agreed. I haven’t heard anything else from the higher-ups, so they’re probably still elbow-deep in it. Anyway, if you have any details you’d like to show me, I’m all ears.”

Your smile grows, and you reach into your bag for your laptop and notebook.

“Thanks,” you smile, standing up an hour later with your bag in hand. But before you exit her office and close the door behind you, you glance back at Jihyo. “By the way, I’m so glad you got the job. You deserve it more than anyone.”

“Thank you. It’s been… rough, these last couple of months. A lot to do and a lot of stress and pressure, but I think it’s worth it. And I’ve had help, making it easier for me to adjust.”

You know who she’s talking about; you don’t need to hear a name.

“He asks about you, you know.”

Holding onto the door, you look away. You’re well aware of what Jeongguk has done for not only you but also Jihyo, Sana, and the entire police station. 

“Let me avoid him for at least another month. Then you can tell him whatever you want, and I can try to be a better colleague. But now? I can’t… I don’t…”

Jihyo looks at you, seeing the pain well up in your eyes when you think about the reason you left his house that night. If you can just have another month to force the warm, yet invalid and hurt feelings you have for him back into the box they broke out of when you first kissed him, you can try to be more civil with him. Hell, you’ll even work with him if he can keep it professional as well.

Jihyo nods, sad but understanding. After all, she had a front-row seat when he used to tear you bloody.

For another hour, you sit at an empty desk, excitedly looking over the preliminary plan that starts on Thursday. You can’t believe it’s about to actually become reality.  

Step one:

Preliminary timeframe: Thursday. 

Possible obstacles and risks: Low risk of hostility or danger. 

Safety measures: Two detectives, civilian clothes, civilian car, concealed firearms.

Step two: Plan A or B, depending on what you find, if anything.

With your notes full of prepared questions, you rise from the chair, deeming it time to leave the station for the day. As you stand there, organizing your papers, movement catches your eye, and you look up just in time to see Jimin enter the big room. And of course, who does he have in tow if not Jeon Jeongguk, dressed, like so often, in the academy's navy crewneck and uniform pants?

Meeting both of their eyes, you’re saved by your phone’s ringtone, a sound that seems to stop even Jeongguk from taking an impulsive step toward you.

Fishing the phone out from the pocket of your black pants, you swipe your finger across the screen to answer. It’s Sana.

“Hello?”

“Hey! So I talked to Jihyo, and she said that your request got pre-approved? I’m a little busy at the moment and for the next few days, but send me anything you’d like me to look over in preparation.”

“So you’re up for it?” you ask, a wide smile forming. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Jeongguk reluctantly follow Jimin further into the room, where they start talking to two other officers with their backs turned. If you were more of a hopeless romantic instead of a realistic one, you’d describe the glances he sends your way as… yearning. To avoid his gaze, you focus on the notebook lying on the desk.

“Of course! You and me, just like old times.”

“Old times? It’s only been like a year since we worked on a case together.”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, I gotta go. See you.”

“I’ll send the info tonight. See you.”

Discreetly, you end the call and gather your things, quickly but quietly heading for the exit. But in the corridor, you hear a call of your name. You shut your eyes for a second before turning around. It hurts to see him, to walk these halls, avoiding him just like you used to. Only this time, it’s a different kind of pain.

The shame creeps in at the same rate Jeongguk approaches. It’s the same shame for how he sees you, but also for how you’ve reacted. You can barely look at him, yet you’re ashamed for not giving him a chance, even though he’s the one who made the bed he’s now tossing and turning in. He's so handsome, looking so warm and strong as he approaches, his black hair looking soft, shiny and just a little longer than last time. A part of you wishes he’d close his eyes so that you could throw your arms around his neck and breathe him in.

“Can you please leave me alone for a while?” is what you ask instead, clutching your notebook to your chest.

Now standing right before you, he looks down at you with sad, desperate eyes. “I’ll be quick, I promise. Two minutes is all I need.” 

You’re not sure why, because you’re not an immature person, but you press your lips together, trying to suppress a smile. Noticing the shift in your expression, Jeongguk thinks back to what he said, smiling as well. “I set that one up pretty well, didn’t I?”

You turn your head, trying to stifle the smile, but you find that it fades easier than expected. 

“And you think I’d wanna fuck that?” he snaps, eyeing your body with disgust. 

Your gaze locks on the lower part of the wall. You wish someone would lend you the cloak of invisibility so that you could hide yourself from him and the world.

“Look at me,” he instructs, but you don’t. The more you think about his eyes on your body, the more you want to leave. 

“Look. At me,” he repeats, firmer this time but still without sounding angry. 

So you do.

“I get it if you don’t want anything else to do with me, but I can’t have you walking around, believing what I said is true.”

Although you don’t cry, you reluctantly let him see just how hurt you are.

“You were right. I wanted to hurt you. I said those things because I was angry, and I wanted just… some kind of justice. When you instead seemed so… unfazed, I let it get the best of me, and somewhere along the way, I lost myself. But I was wrong and although I wanted payback, I didn’t mean to hurt you to this degree. I was only looking for a reaction, anything that showed me that you were paying for what I thought you’d done. If I’d known how I really made you feel, regardless of if you were innocent or not, I would’ve stopped.“

“So you’re just a man, after all?” you ask, and maybe it’s uncalled for, maybe it’s not.

Jeongguk takes half a step back, appearing lost for words, and with enough pain in his surprised eyes for you to think he looks hurt.

He blinks and lowers his voice. “Yeah. Just a man. But listen to me—the things I said were. Not. True. Okay? You hear me? I cannot let you go around thinking you’re anything like what I told you.”

“I find that hard to believe. How else would you know exactly where to hit? What to say to cause maximum damage? Talking about my cellulite and my… weight and…”

“I said what I figured any woman would be scared to hear.”

“Yeah, sure,” you dismiss. 

It doesn’t matter what he says now—he did know exactly what to say, which means he must have looked at you, inspected your body and found every single one of your flaws. It makes you nauseous, as if some of those flaws didn’t exist to the world simply because no one other than you had noticed or mentioned them. Then Jeongguk and his friends scrutinized every inch of you, uncovering them all and putting them on display.

“I think you’re gorgeous.”

“You would’ve told me.”

You really think he would have. The Jeongguk who wants you to sleep in his bed, holding you from behind, who asks to hold your hand, and who puts frosting on your lips as an excuse to kiss them—he would have told you if he liked you. If he thought you were beautiful.

“I didn’t. I thought–incredibly dumbly–that if I told you what I really think of you, you’d think I was hitting on you. If things were different, if we ran into each other somewhere without all this… baggage, I would’ve hit on you, but all I wanted at the time was for you to trust me as a friend and to trust that I just wanted you to be safe. I didn’t want you to think I was looking to get laid or that I would… that I was anything like Hoseong. I didn’t know that you took my bullshit to heart—because again, it’s just not true—and so I chose not to say anything.”

“But we’ve been past that point for a while, haven’t we?” you ask, finding his explanation a little too weak to believe. “I trusted you enough to tell you about the worst moment of my life, I kissed you, and I told you how pretty I think you are, yet you couldn’t even…”

Frustration boils in your veins, mixing with the raw disappointment and hurt which cools you back down. You feel so… small, so defeated. “I don’t need compliments. Just… something. Something that would’ve shown me you weren’t being sweet only because you felt guilty.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say to that. In retrospect, yeah, he should’ve told you, and thinking back to his joke about pretty being for girls makes him cringe with both shame and regret. Especially since he’d used multiple occasions to taunt you with the fact that you’re not a pretty girl. But it had been hard, finding a balance in showing his affection without scaring you off. When you reacted the way you did that night during the power outage, he... didn’t want to risk making you more uncomfortable or afraid. He’d decided to take a step back, let you lead, and he would follow. Of course, that backfired horribly.

You look at him, hurt still brimming in your eyes.

He searches for words, trying to explain himself better. “I should’ve told you, but I… I didn’t want to risk making you uncomfortable. I wanted to follow your lead and let you decide everything. You wanted me handcuffed and blindfolded—of course I realized you were nervous. But I thought you were more worried I’d do something to you, rather than what I would think of you. I didn’t want to influence you to do anything you would’ve regretted.”

You’re clearly not convinced, and you shake your head slowly.

“You could’ve just given me a ‘you too.’ That’s all I would’ve needed.”

Jeongguk can only watch as you leave, obviously still very much hurt by him. Ten seconds after your footsteps have disappeared, he heads back to the desk area, his head hung low.

Jimin looks at him, JJ and Min gone. The unasked question hangs in the air, and Jeongguk can see Jimin realize that no, it didn’t go very well.

“You gotta remember that she’s had a hectic few months and maybe wasn’t really able to process everything. You being an ass was probably the least of her worries for a while—until it wasn’t anymore. And healing isn’t always linear. I’m sure she’ll come around one day.”

Jeongguk sighs. “I don’t think she will, and I can’t expect that of her. I just… hate myself for what I did to her. I never even realized she was just walking around, bleeding from my words.”

You haven’t fixed your car since the last tampering, but fortunately, Jihyo agreed to lend you one of the station’s unmarked cars. A discreet black thing that you park outside the station at ten a.m. on Thursday to pick up Sana, who needed to retrieve some things and told you to meet her there.

Getting no reply, you lock your phone and step out of the car with a sigh. The ground is powdered white, your shoes leaving tracks as you walk up to the station’s main entrance.

Warm air envelops you as you step inside, the doors falling shut behind you.

“Good morning!” Sana rushes over, a coffee in hand. “Sorry, I’ll be done in a minute, I just gotta ask Mark something.”

She gestures for you to follow, and you do, trailing behind her into the sea of desks. The place is unusually crowded with officers, so you decide to wait near the wall, leaving her to weasel her way into the middle on her own.

There usually aren’t this many people here when you’re around, but in your case, the problem isn’t necessarily people; it’s big, strong, law enforcement men. Though they’re not paying you much attention—they must be preparing for something big—you still can’t will your body to fully relax.

By instinct, you tug at your clothes, wishing you hadn’t left your jacket in the car. Since you decided to wear civilian clothes today, you thought you might as well dress somewhat according to your original mission’s dress code. Except adjusted for winter, of course. 

You’re wearing winter boots that reach your upper calves, a pair of those invisibly fleece-lined pantyhose you’ve seen all over social media the last few months, and a cream-colored knitted turtleneck dress. It’s been in your closet forever, but unfortunately, you didn’t try it on before you had to leave.

It feels too tight on your body. Not to wear into a ‘strangely religious neighborhood,’ but too tight to wear here. You pull at the hem where it ends at your mid-thigh, keeping your eyes down when people pass you and hoping no one is looking at you and taking note of how awkwardly shaped your body is.

You stand there for a while, avoiding people’s eyes while you wait for Sana.

However, when you—out of the corner of your eye—notice a uniformed man walking toward you, you look up. Jeongguk’s eyes flicker between you and the people walking past you, as if he’s seen exactly the shameful way you carry yourself around men—these men—nowadays. It’s gotten worse since you left his house; you know that, but when all of your confidence was fueled by anger and then denial, removing those leaves… not much left.

He comes to stand in front of you, looking down at you with frustrated eyes. He’s so broad, so imposing, and it’s very evident when he wears his navy uniform, the sleeves rolled up his veiny forearms.

“Listen to me—”

You look away, about to step back, but he grasps your hand—not just to stop you but to guide the two of you a few steps away from the path of officers and behind the tall panels of a cubicle.

“No. Listen to me. I’ll leave you alone after this if that’s what you want, but I need you to know that you are so incredibly beautiful.”

You sigh, looking at him and wordlessly begging him to just give up already. He’s quiet for a few long seconds, his frustration seemingly growing.

When he speaks again, his voice is calm, more earnest. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

“No,” you shake your head. You can’t recall the very first time you met him.

“I do. It was a rainy day—my fourth at the station—and I ran into you at the main entrance. The rain had wet your hair, and I held the door open for you. You thanked me, but you didn’t really smile much, just politely. I think you also bowed your head slightly. I remember thinking that you must’ve been cold from the rain, but I realize you were wary around the men here, even if you and I didn’t know each other.”

Sounds about right.

“And I thought that you were just so beautiful.”

You look down. It’s humiliating, and you feel like shit, hearing him throw compliments your way just to make you feel better. You can’t tell if he’s lying or not, but what else would he say? You can’t exactly say you expected him to approach you today to call you ugly.

Noticing your hesitation, he appears to be searching his mind for something, and you glance at him. 

Suddenly, his eyes widen slightly, and he reaches into the pocket of his navy uniform pants. It’s his phone that he pulls out, and he starts to scroll. He scrolls, and he scrolls, until he finally finds what he’s looking for.

“Look,” he says, handing you the phone.

Although you’re not too keen on entertaining whatever this is, you can’t help but be a little curious. What could he have on his phone that would convince you?

Accepting the device, you start reading the words on the screen. They’re text messages from an old group chat, dated years back, and though you can’t remember the exact date Jeongguk first showed up at the station, you assume it was right around then. The chat seems to have consisted mostly of him, Ryung, Hoseong, Seunghwan, and Junseo.

Seunghwan: Yeah, we’re excited to have you, just let us know if you need anything.

The next few texts are from the following day.

Jeongguk: So I just met the most gorgeous woman I think I’ve ever seen??

Jeongguk: Quick question, is there a work dating policy here? I can’t remember. 

Jeongguk: And if not, where do I find this woman again? Is she an officer? I’m not even kidding when I say that I’m absolutely head over heels from a three-second interaction, and she didn’t even really say anything. 

Jeongguk: I’d love to ask her out.

Ryung: If it’s who I think it is then you better stay away, man.

You read on, seeing how Ryung goes on to describe a woman’s features, which happen to align with yours. The length, color, and style of your hair, the color of your eyes, and your height. But also a very generous way of describing your face and the shape of your body.

Jeongguk: Yeah! Is she with one of you already? In that case, I apologize!

Ryung: No, but Hoseong did her briefly, and she’s absolutely mental. Pretty, but crazy

The next words are not very nice, the men urging Jeongguk to stay away from the woman who could only ever be you, promising to tell him what happened the day after.

“See,” Jeongguk says, “Even Ryung knew exactly who I meant; I didn’t even have to describe you, just say that you were the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.”

You’re not sure. Yeah, the evidence points to that, and you can’t deny that you’re definitely feeling some form of relief, but… you can still hear his voice in your ears, see the anger and hatred in his dark eyes.

You hand the phone back, and Jeongguk looks around, sighing before turning his attention back to you. “You want me to be completely honest? Tell you exactly what I think of you?”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “No? That’s the point? I know that I’m not your type. I’m full of flaws. I don’t have a body fat percentage in the negatives like you, I don’t always have the energy to shave every inch of my body, and I’ve never gotten flowers. No matter what you say now, I’m not someone you want.”

“You think I’m someone who would care about any of that?” he asks, his voice tinged with hurt.

“You look like someone who would.”

Jeongguk looks away, taking a second to gather his thoughts.

“I… wanted to ask you out that day, after I first met you. You looked so pretty out there in the rain, and I think my heart stopped for a while. I think that you’re cute—really fucking adorable—and charming, and you’re smart and kind, and you’re absolutely breath-taking and sexy as hell.

"Which was another reason I was so angry at you; I saw this… stunning woman, who appeared to live a very privileged life, yelling ‘sexism’ whenever something didn’t go your way to… I don’t know, avoid consequences and get ahead, not realizing what sexism truly meant for other women. I didn’t think there was that much harm in what I said because I thought you knew very well how goddamn pretty you are, so I gripped at every straw, trying to get a reaction.”

You listen to every word he says, still unable to decide. You want to believe him, but the deep wounds he carved into your skin are still bleeding.

“I was so conflicted during our mission. On one hand, I had to pretend to like the person who had shot one of my best friends, who got away with it and refused to be held accountable for it. On the other hand… I liked seeing you pretend to like me too. First, out of spite, but then I realized that I liked seeing you smile, and how nice you were to the people around you, except for me, of course, but I guess I always started it. Then you fell asleep in my arms at the barbeque, and I knew I was fucked. I felt like I betrayed my friends for… feeling something other than hatred for you. 

“But this little thing, that hated me so much, let herself be so vulnerable as to sleep in my arms. And I guess I looked at you differently after that. The more I realized that you might actually be a pretty decent detective; a decent person, the harder it was for me to be mean to you. After everything, and after I’d found out what had happened, I wanted to tell you how much I liked you and how pretty I thought you were, but I was scared you wouldn’t come with me if I did. I was scared they’d look for you at your apartment, so I kept quiet.

“Even after you came to stay with me, and it seemed like you started to trust me, even just a little bit, I had to convince myself to wait. And the more I got to know you, the harder it became. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to bury you in flowers? Hold you and kiss you silly? And you know why I was always up before you—or at least I tried to be—when you slept in my bed with me?”

You shake your head because you don’t know.

There's something else in his eyes when he holds your gaze, “Because I dream about you, and I wake up hard. But I remembered how I freaked you out when we made out back at the house, when you were on my lap and I got hard. I didn’t want to scare you or make you uncomfortable, so I made sure to wake up before you, just in case.

“I wanted to kiss you and hold you and really, it would’ve been my pleasure if you’d wanted to sleep with me. But more than that, I wanted you to be safe and feel safe, never doubting why I was doing what I was.”

He shuts his eyes for a short moment. “I guess that’s all I can say. I don’t need you to forgive me, I just need you to know that all I wanted was revenge; nothing of what I said was true.”

He opens his eyes again, looking into yours with his soft, brown ones and a gentle sincerity. Though it’s overshadowed by something else. “I have many regrets, but you are my biggest. What I did to you.”

Regret.

As if she’s been waiting for the right moment to make her return, you hear Sana call your name. When you turn around, you spot her approaching.

“I gotta go,” you excuse yourself.

Sana looks between you and Jeongguk, but when no one says anything, she shrugs and turns her attention to you. “So, Jihyo said you had a problem with your apartment? The door, was it? Cause I can call my brother, and he’ll fix it for free next week if you want?”

“You’re living in your apartment? On your own?” Jeongguk questions, his voice upset.

You turn back at him, “Yeah. Have been since I left your house. It’s fine.”

Despite the clear worry his eyes display, he makes no effort to follow you and talk you straight, probably realizing that there’s nothing else he can do; that was his last chance.

<previous | next> author's note: so there's that! thanks for waiting for it <3 this was the last puzzle piece of their past, i think, and i'd love to hear your thoughts on everything, but especially him lol <3<3

[sillygoosealert]

Daisy, hi! How did you come up with the user sillygoodealert? Bc that concubine fic had such a silly ending 🥲🙂 lmao jk but seriously I was thinking what if before the maid concubine reader offs herself, we see her side of being treated like shit by the other girls and staff and sukuna himself during the day and then trying to not be shell shocked when he treats her so sweetly in his chambers. especially when he continuously humiliates her and one day eve punishes her extra harshly in front of everyone after she makes a mistake and then he still expects her to pretend as if it didn’t even happen when he wishes to spend time with her that same night.

Who knows just thinking further about the story you created, ty for sharing your work it’s so delish 🤤

In the morning - Just a week later

That's my legal name because i am the mayor of silly town

I had a BAD day so ANGST NO COMFORT NO COMFORT 😠😠

Dub-con(so there is a little bit of smut 😲) he's kinda abusive?? uhhh mention of blood

If someone asked Sukuna if he was ever satisfied with everything he had, the answer would be no. But once, he got very close to it.

To be satisfied is to settle, and Sukuna never settled. Not for anything or anyone. However, one night, while you laid next to him, it almost felt like he would be okay with living like that.

Knowing he could have more than what he had at the time stopped him from deeming it satisfactory.

So he strived for more. A more significant and fulfilling feeling, more.

What waited for him in the morning was a clean room and a cold bed. Although you were supposed to be beside him as of now, there was a cold, neatly made spot in replacement.

After 8 minutes of stretching, 2 minutes of sitting and silence, and deciding what kimono he would like to adorn today- he came out of his enclosure.

Standing just a few feet from his door, you were unhurriedly dusting off the chandeliers scattered across the ceiling- on a ladder, without anyone supporting it from the bottom.

After a few quick strides, he kicks the ladder from its place. There isn't a real reason why he did it. It was more impulsive than anything. But as he watches your body hit the floor, blood dribble out of your nose, a feeling of superiority overcomes him.

Even though he was the one to do this to you, he still helps you up and carries you to bed in his arms. Your blood is smearing across his arms and hands as he wipes away tears that come out as you shake and beg for him to stop. It's no longer a quiet morning, but he got what he wanted- a warmer bed and a more obedient woman.

Nothing good comes out of upsetting Sukuna- or sometimes just being around him. He doesn't have to be in a bad mood to take things out on you. The bruises on your body should be enough evidence of that. Sometimes, you question if it's enough to feel pity on you, though.

There will always be someone to ask what you did. Occasionally, that someone is you. Late at night, curled up listening to him treating another woman with something similar to adoration.

His voice isn't necessarily loud, but it's the only thing you can hear when it is well past curfew.

He coos encouragement and praise while gentle skin-on-skin can be heard if you listen for it.

At the moment, you're jealous. That should be you. When that is you, though, you dread walking into his enclosure.

The day after you watched him toss away any love or respect he had, for 15 minutes of sugar-coated sex, something changed with him.

He held your waist as he guided you to the edge of his bed, an eager grin plastered on his face. Lifting you and laying you on the one-too-many pillows he suddenly had.

One hand found yours as something wet licked your pussy. It was slimy and unwanted, and you kept quiet because you were in complete shock.

You saw how clean the sheets were when you walked in. You hoped it was a sick coincidence. But the feeling of Déjà vu sank deep into your body, as well as his tongue did. And as you checked to make sure- the pillows were fluffed up. The smell of a specific woody soap was stuck to him, and he was gripping your hand a little harder each time your breath started to increase.

"My Lord-" You wanted to ask him to stop, but the words couldn't come out as fluently as your tears would.

When you started to sob, he pulled away and looked at you with disarray. All you could do was shake your head and wrap your arms around yourself.

He sent you back to your own room without a word.

The other concubines must have noticed the shift in your status- or maybe he complained to them about you. That is one of life's great mysteries.

They treat you noticeably differently than they did before- for the worse. A thought that crosses through your mind is they were scared to be anything less than indifferent to you before, for they would most definitely receive a punishment. But now? The treatment of your counterparts and the King of Curses is almost equal- with him being the only one to break your trust, as the other concubines made it clear they were not your friends from the start.

As of now, they weren't afraid to push you aside in the hallways or scold you for nearly slipping on the freshly mopped floor.

Your new nickname is Lummox- which means a clumsy, stupid person. That's not too far off from what you are, so you don't take too much offense.

But people now use it to call out to you and grab your attention it becomes all you can use to describe yourself when you think about what you did to get here.

Even now, as you curl into yourself late in the night, what keeps you up is what will now wait for you in the morning.

I have such a massive hatetrid for my own writting it's almost astonishing I put anything out. I can't re-read anything I put out because I get so upset that I can not put into words how I feel- the one thing people expect of me.

Tag List- @mangiswig @rubyrubyruuu @maskedpacific @bbysnw @belluuu @cindywasneverhere @uniquenicefangirl @m0rganit3 @jinniebby2 @babyblexu @connierk690 @suguru-nugget @geniejunn @astro-stars @honeybee54321

[the-cimmerians]

Queer and trans folk around the world often take an interest in the athletes from our community, and Outsports even collects a database of all the the out LGBTQ competitors. While JK Rowling and 99 percent of conservative media were harassing two cis women boxers, 195 QT athletes represented 26 nations and none, but we’ll get to that. That makes this the queerest Olympics ever, beating out the total of 186 out athletes in Tokyo and, if Queer Nation granted citizenships, would be the 14th largest national contingent at the games. That hypothetical Queer Nation would also have placed sixth in the medal count, tying the Netherlands with 15 golds but falling neatly between the Dutch and host country France on the strength of silvers and bronzes.

One happy bit of news is that in both golds and overall medal count, Queer Nation beat out every single country in the world that criminalizes same-sex boinking. The only bad news seems to be that people competing in the men’s events seem a little underqueered compared to the women. Can’t we at least get a few interested in the Greco-Roman wrestling? Yr Wonkette is just asking.

...

Sure, justice in silver and gold for badass bisexual Black woman Sha’Carri Richardson, excluded from Tokyo on the basis of smoking legal weed in Eugene, Oregon, was as sweet as sativa; it was fun to see Diana Taurasi go out on the queer top with her sixth Olympic gold in a row (team USA’s eighth consecutive women’s basketball gold); and seeing the shoulders on those women rugby players was a dream come true. But we want to speak about someone who didn’t represent any country at all: Cindy Ngamba.

Ngamba is a middleweight (75kg) boxer originally from Cameroon. At 11 years old some family members fled to the United Kingdom as refugees, and brought Ngamba along. The family maintains it had the proper approval for Cindy, but that when her uncle returned to Cameroon it was lost. The UK Home Office has been threatening to deport her since the age of 16, when she was accepted to university and realized she couldn’t produce her visa for her college paperwork.

Despite the threats, Ngamba fought and won many times in the UK’s amateur boxing competitions, having started as a hobbyist in the local Bolton Lads and Girls Club program. She also went on to get an undergraduate degree with honors, all while threats of deportation hung over her head. After winning a UK national championship, she met then-PM Theresa May celebrating her win and the efforts of the Lads & Girls Club where she trained. One might think that the UK might eventually forgive an 11-year-old girl for not keeping track of her paperwork herself, but the Home Office has remained resolute denying Ngamba regularized status.

What makes all this both horrifyingly inhumane and also relevant to this article is that Ngamba is an out lesbian. She has been consistently denied a path to citizenship or even legal residency, only escaping deportation because of her ability to document horror after horror inflicted on queer residents of Cameroon. International law prohibits sending a refugee back to their nation of citizenship or previous residence if they would face persecution and risk of great harm, a crime called “refoulement.”

“If I was sent back, I can be in danger,” Ngamba said. “So, I was given the refugee status to be safe and protected."

Unable to represent the UK and unable to compete in qualifying competitions in Cameroon, Ngamba got an opportunity that no other stateless athlete had ever shared before 2016: she was named to the IOC Refugee Olympic Team. So far that team has only been allowed to compete in the summer games, and only in Rio, Tokyo, and this year in Paris. (They will be allowed to compete in the Winter Games for the first time in 2026.) Given the incredible barriers most refugees face, it is perhaps not surprising that no Refugee Team member has ever won a medal. But while Ngamba has faced incredible legal problems and a ruthlessly anti-immigrant government her entire time in the UK, she at least had better training facilities in her local Lads & Girls than most refugees can dream.

And the dreams paid off. Team Refugee got its first medal ever when Ngamba took home middleweight bronze. "I just want to tell every refugee out there, whether they are an athlete or not, to never give up,” she said after being asked to carry the Olympic flag at the opening of the games. When she won, the whole refugee team took to the internet to celebrate:

“The Refugee Olympic Team is incredibly proud of Cindy Ngamba, the first EOR athlete and the first-ever refugee medallist at the Olympics,” the team posted on X, formerly Twitter. “Today, we are speechless. Cindy did it. Refugees did it!”

Yes, yes you did.

[myobsessionsspace]

One of The Narratives That Turned Canon

Why Jungkook not liking Jimin, when they were younger, is NOT true.

Images like this would circulate and be used as 'evidence' as to Jungkook's dislike for Jimin.

The narrative that Jungkook didn’t like Jimin and that Jimin annoyed/harassed Jungkook, always stemmed from cut off footage, jokey pictures or lack of understanding.

It needs to be remembered that the Rap Line joined Big Hit first, whilst the rest APART from Jimin joined in 2011.

Jimin was the last to join the trainees, around mid 2012. Being the last to join such an intense atmosphere of training, competition and comradery, we can understand that Jimin should have been the odd one out, the one that the trainees would have had the least shared experiences with, the least emotional bonds been the one that would have stuck out from the 'pack.'

The order of the members, as they joined Bangtan, with Jimin completing the group to form the 7 that we now know and love.

The Maknae of the group, Jungkook, had been taken under the wing of the hyung of the group, Jin, who protected him, gave him home comforts by taking him back with him to his family home, which was the closest to the dorms and treating him to meals, as the trainees had yet to make much money.

The maknae had also formed a close bond with the second youngest of the group Taehyung, who when he wanted to goof around and feel his age, he could count on him, who was the more extroverted out of the two and so would bring out different sides to Jungkook, that Jungkook couldn't display on his own and who helped in bringing the younger boy out of his shell.

For Jungkook he found cool, minor celeb underground rapper with a genius IQ and tall manly presence in Namjoon. He found the steady, unassuming presence in Yoongi, knowledgeable in the behind the scenes of music production with a pool of general knowledge also. He found in Hobi the cool street dancer who he could learn from and show sides of his self that he couldn't with the other five, a Hyung that by Jungkook’s own words provided him the most comfort before Jimin became that person to him.

Such a cutie!

People have often believed and carried on with an image of a quiet and mysterious, dark clothed, testosterone filled 'Alpha', when it comes to Jungkook.

He has been called out time and time again by his Hyungs and fans in their early days about his blunt personality, tone and delivery.

But Jungkook was and still is the embodiment of a classic shy introvert.

He’s taken several MBTI tests over the years (there are varied opinions on the validity/reliability and truth of these tests). One thing has remained consistent through them all, the ‘I’ for Introversion.

JK was young, introverted and SHY! Look at this BB titled ‘Jungkook Shy, shy, shy’.

Jimin came into the company and with his wonderful personality, amazing talent and genuine nature, he quickly formed bonds that cemented the 7. Though there were likely many misunderstanding amongst the seven young, hormonal men, all in a new and charged environment.

Rainy Day - both accounts

Jungkook DID find a hyung to look up to in Jimin

A person who would take him under his wing and protect him

A person to help and motivate him in his dance

A person he could be young, wild and free with

A person he could be himself with and feel the lowest of the low and the highest of the high with.

Jungkook wanted to quit being an idol to be a dancer???

ENG TRANS: “I will have a nice business trip to the US. Jimin will take good care of me.”

Though Jungkook was and still is, according to himself, an introvert, he gets moments where he leaps out of his comfort zone, not because he has to (like for example, for work) but because he wants to

Though Jimin has INCREDIBLE emotional intelligence *now* it didn't come from birth, it would have been developed and deepened over time.

In the early years of their bond, what we have witnessed third hand, are some of the workings that went towards the development of their emotional understandings of each other, how their bond evolved in front of people, what needed to be said and not said in front of others.

But make no mistake, they BOTH were fond of each other and equally sought out each others presence, for comfort, for fun, for motivation, for advice, for good times and bad.

The myth was that Jungkook didn't like Jimin in the early days and that they weren't close.

The truth is that, they were the closet of the whole group.

💜💛

This is a blog version of a twitter thread I did

Interesting Links:

Part 1

Part 2

[pt2change]

lovesick emergency — jeon jungkook

[gif source]

pairing: surgeon!jungkook x surgeon! y/n

genre: medical au, jk is head over heels for y/n, he’s also kinda bad at communication, insecure and jealous jk hehehe, fluff, y/n is oblivious, few mentions of sex

word count: 2,376

a/n: my first jk drabble 😣😣 any feedback is appreciated thank u for reading!!!!

↣ bts masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

of course, when you work at an extremely busy level 1 trauma center hospital, it is very. difficult to get time to yourself

but you and jungkook have 15 minutes to yourself

………..….

what other way to spend those 15 minutes than in an empty on-call room?

okay so… the two of you have been fooling around for months

it’s not always that too

sometimes you go over to each other’s apartments and hang out

or you have dinner together after a long day at work

there’s been plenty of times where the two of you are just enjoying each other’s company without hooking up

but the both of you are not…. officially dating

and the only reason is because the two of you have accepted that you have feelings for the other

but both you and jungkook won’t confess to each other.

so you stick to touching each other and kissing and having sex whenever you both want

but neither of you do that with someone else

so you’re both in the small bed that sits in the on-call room

he’s hovering over your body, kissing you

both of your lab coats are on the edge of bed frame, while the dark blue scrubs have been tossed somewhere in the walkway between the door and the bed

jungkook intertwines his hands with yours, laying it just above your head

and the two of you spend the little break you have quietly moaning each other’s name

and in between it all, someone tries to open the door

probably a nurse, or a doctor, or either one of your interns

but neither of you noticed as you’re lost in each other

after finishing, jungkook lays next to you on the bed, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek

“how does sex get better with you everytime we do it?”

you laugh, playfully hitting him

one of the pagers goes off suddenly, and he reaches over to the bedside table they were on

“it’s yours.” he says handing it to you,

you groan softly, “that’s perfect” you say sarcastically

getting up, you begin to pick the scrubs from the floor, placing jungkook’s on the edge of the bed

and he watches as you slip your clothes back on

he sits up quickly and reaches to hand you your coat

“gotta go, i’ll see you later?” you turn to face him before leaving

“yeah” jungkook nods with a small smile

“okay” you nod and head towards the door

but you quickly turn around and walk back over to the bed

bending down slightly, you kiss jungkook one last time, “see you later”

you smile and walk back over to the door, unlocking it, and walking out

jungkook sighs happily and closes his eyes hoping to get some sleep

….

he doesn’t…

….

his pager went off approximately 36 seconds after you left

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

“oh thank god i found you, dr. y/n!-“ an out of breath intern, your out of breath intern-

who btw you’re not sure which one of them it is because you don’t bother to know their names unless they give you a (good) reason to

- stops you as soon as you walk out of the on-call room

“you’re needed in operating room three” she finishes, trying to catch her breath

“i was just paged, i’m on my way there now!” you say, walking right past her.

“oh! nurse min is looking for doctor jeon, is he in there?”

that makes you stop dead in your tracks

“and why would he be in there?” you look at the intern, raising your eyebrow at her

“oh… no reason, i-it was just a random question” she says quickly, clearing her throat

you glare at her one more time before walking over to the elevator to head to the surgery floor

while you wait for the elevator, you look back for your intern and see she’s knocking on the same door of the on-call room where jungkook is

hmm…

you could’ve sworn you and jungkook were more discreet than that

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

when jungkook’s done with his surgery, he begins to think about you

wondering where you are, he goes and looks for you

even though the two of you were together a few hours ago

he just can’t help but miss you

after asking nurse min, he tells jungkook you’re on the 7th floor, checking on your patients

jungkook makes his way to the elevator and heads to the 7th floor

after walking down the hallway, he sees you in a room with your heart transplant patient that you talked to him about a few days prior

then jungkook started thinking…

maybe he should just get back to work?

he knows he’ll hear from you at some point later in the day or evening

and you’ll probably have your next meal together

or with other staff members

like nurse min :) who you and jungkook get along with very well even though he intimated you both when he started to work at the hospital

anyways

he makes up his mind but then he hears something that makes him linger around the door

he’s hidden just enough to wear you or the patient can’t see him but he can most definitely hear the conversation

“tell me dr. y/l/n, as someone as gorgeous as you, you must get hit on all the time.”

and it sends shivers down jungkook’s spine when he hears your patient tell you

and jungkook scoffs quietly

you’re a hard ass cardiac surgeon who is feared by all the interns and intimidated by some of the other fellow surgeons

and no one had the guts to hit on you for those reasons

well…

except jungkook.

and he’s happy that he did.

because even though he’s unsure as to where your relationship with each other stands, it’s one of the most beautiful things that has happened to him.

and he just hasn’t felt this way about anyone in a long time

his thoughts are interrupted by your laugh

“what’s your pain on a scale from 1-10?”

“maybe like a 2, don’t try to change the subject now, doctor!”

jungkook sees you nod your head and chuckle at the patient

“i’ll look at your stitches, and if everything looks fine, you’ll be discharged either this evening or tomorrow early morning”

even though your back is facing him, jungkook can definitely envision your contagious smile

his own smile quickly fades as he hears your patient starts talking again

“then i’ll be back to take you to a nice romantic candle lit dinner?”

you chuckle once again, “i don’t go out with my patients”

“and i can’t be the only exception?-”

and jungkook frowns slightly when he hears that

“-you’ve taken really good care of me since i got here, i think it would only be fair if someone did the same for you”

he frowns again

:(

jungkook has seen this patient many times because he’s been at the hospital for quite awhile

and well jungkook thinks your patient is definitely attractive enough to where he feels almost….

threatened….

but jungkook doesn’t wait to hear what you say to your patient

instead he walks away

and he’s upset and just kinda filled with jealousy

but???

at the same time, he feels like he can’t get upset

because even if you did turn down the patient, somewhere along the line, someone else would hit on you and ask you out to another romantic candle lit dinner

and the worst part is you could say yes

i mean technically you are single

and jungkook hasn’t had the time or courage to officially ask what was going on between the two of you

and so he rushes into the stairwell where he can calm down before his insecure thoughts become overwhelming

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

“no!” you say quietly to your patient, laughing

you grab your set of gloves and begin putting them on, “i need to look at your stitches”

and your patient looks at you, “just tell me, are you seeing someone?” he raises his eyebrows

you open your patients gown and begin examining the stitches that were on his chest

“i’m not really supposed to talk about my personal life, you know?”

you look back up at your patient

“but i am, and he’s really really wonderful… and he takes care of me.”

you pause, and your mind just begins to envision jungkook

you could go on and on about him

instead you smile to yourself, “he’s my best friend”

your patient nods his head, understanding what you're saying

“but you know… there is a really gorgeous woman just down the hall, maybe she wouldn't mind some company” you raise your eyebrows at your patient and close his gown

“hmmm….. what’s she like?”

you nod your head and take your gloves off

then you sit in the small chair next to the bed and begin telling him about the beautiful blonde woman that’s recovering just down the hallway

you told the woman about your patient as well when you checked on her

and well..

turns out they were perfect for each other.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

okay….

so you haven’t seen jungkook in almost 5 days

you were surprisingly off these last 2 days without getting paged for an emergency surgery

but jungkook never called or texted you

which was really weird because even on his busiest days, he still send you at least a few messages before you tell him to get back to work

and the other 3 days you worked, your paths just never crossed

it was really weird…

you also walked through his department but never saw him

and when you texted him asking where he was but there was no response

AND you even told him to meet up in an on-call room and nothing!!!

and jungkook was never one to turn that down

this was the longest you had gone without seeing him and it was really starting to irritate you

you even began to think that maybe you had done something wrong without knowing it

and that also bothers you because the last thing you want to do is make him upset :(

you just like him so so much and don't want to ruin your relationship with him

now you haven’t eaten in the hospital cafeteria since your last intern year

but today you decide to take a look in there

okay………

you were probably in the cafeteria for 10 seconds before making direct eye contact with jungkook

but you’re taken back when he just stands up and leaves through the back doors as soon as your eyes meet

………

what???

you put your hands in the pocket of your lab coat and walk out as well

but you make your way to the nurse’s station

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

jungkook runs to room 618 after getting paged a 9-1-1 when the elevator door opens

he scurries inside to the middle of the room

only to find nurse min standing there and no patient

“what’s going on? where’s the patient?” he exclaims, trying to catch his breath

nurse min steps aside, when the restroom door opens and you walk out

“shit…” you hear jungkook mutter

“what… that’s all you have to say?” you walk in front of him crossing your arms

meanwhile nurse min walks out the room and slowly closes the door

and when he steps out he sees a few other staff members watching you and jungkook through the blinds

“y/n, you know you can't page me if it’s not actually an emergency”

you scoff, “jungkook, don’t give me that-”

when it looks like he wants to walk towards the door

you beat him to it and stand in front of it

“why have you been ignoring me? did i do something?”

you look up at jungkook

but he avoids looking into your eyes

“i just.. i’ve been really busy”

“don’t lie to me either.” you tell him softly

jungkook sighs and rubs his hand across his mouth

“what are we, y/n?”

this catches you off guard

it certainly wasn't what you thought this conversation was going to be about

“what?

jungkook shrugs

“i don't know-” he pauses

now he’s looking at you

“i’m just wondering if we’re a couple or not.”

“jungkook-”

and he cuts you off

“i know we hang out alot and we have sex, but i like you so much. and i’ve felt more with you than anyone else. i want more with you, y/n.”

he sighs, “i don't want us to be nothing.”

and he looks at you, waiting for you to respond

“we’re not nothing, jungkook” you shake your head

“then what? because i want you to be mine-”

jungkook doesn’t get to finish rambling on with his sentence

you bring him in for a kiss, wrapping your arms around his shoulder

jungkook holds onto your waist

and you feel yourself backing into the door and he deepens the kiss

when he pulls away first, he opens his mouth to talk more but you stop him

“of course we’re a couple jungkook”

and he lets out a sigh of relief

“we are?”

and you nod your head

jungkook bends down to give you another kiss

and from the other side of the door you hear:

“finally, it was about time”

you pull away from jungkook and open the door

on the other side of the door, you see other nurses and surgeons listening and watching the interaction between you and jungkook

“don’t just stand here! you all have patients to see!” you yell

anddd there’s the surgeon everyone is afraid of

suddenly everyone moves to different rooms or they head towards the elevator

jungkook laughs behind you

he pulls you back in and shuts the door

and he closes the blinds completely

“can you believe that?”

“mmhmm…”

when you turn back to see jungkook, he’s in the middle of taking his coat off

“this isn’t the on-call room, jungkook.”

you cross your arms as he sets it down on the bed

you watch as he pulls the curtain around the hospital bed

when he’s done, he walks back over to you

“i don’t care” he says grabbing your arms and guiding you towards the bed

[judasgot-it]

Hiii! I suddenly had an idea like a vision or something tehee

imagine after a party (idk, hunting dogs celebrating another victory) and s/o’s feet hurt for her heels so tecchou noticing, carries her on his back. sorry if it was simple

btw Can i call you Judy and be 🪻anon?

You've gifted me a nickname and all I did was ignore you. I think the best thing that should be done is that I write your ask and that you beat me (jk please don't I'm just a writer. but ily flower anon that nickname is so sweet u have full use to call me it <3)

Scenario: Husband! Tecchou carries fem! reader around while at a party (TW for reader being a little drunk at some parts lol)

1 k words

Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Wiser

1:15 AM

The work party was still raging on.

Fukuchi and Teruko were screaming a duet into the karaoke machine, some sort of anime intro that Tachihara complained only old people would know.

Jouno was surprisingly still in the room, forcing some poor chef to make another batch of some overly complicated dish that apparently only Jouno could appreciate. There was a gun on the table, although surprisingly it wasn't pointed at anyone yet.

You could breathe a sigh of relief at that.

All you were looking for now was Tecchou. He had gone missing around half an hour ago, doing who knew what. He was the one thing keeping you alive at this party, considering how you were one or two drinks away from either passing out on the floor or just trying to take yourself home.

Your feet hurt, what else could you say? Maybe you were a little bit too drunk right now since you were sad over where you had placed your shoes. They were somewhere in the room, you were sure of it.

It was a really emotional endeavor, enough that you felt tears start to come to your eyes thinking about where you placed them. You tried to wipe them away the best you could, trying to not hit your face with the pair of shoes you were holding in your hands.

You walked across the room, hoping to find your husband in the crowd of very important government people whose names had lost you at that moment. Thankfully no one approached you, although maybe it was because they were all as messy as you were.

Tecchou was one of the tallest people there, and even on your tippy toes, you couldn't find his messy chestnut hair in the sea of heads. The feeling of panic started to settle quickly, your heart almost beating outside of your chest - your husband could be almost anywhere.

You turned around, feeling your tongue fall into your throat as you still couldn't locate your man. Wiping your wet eyes, you watched as a man approached you - tall, with messy chestnut hair.

Swallowing deeply, you tried to compose yourself as you saw his eyes land directly onto yours. Against your will, your eyes began to well up with tears once again.

Your feet guided you, rushing towards him like a bullet.

There was no thought as you wrapped your arms around him, your face buried down inside of his red suit. You sighed with relief as you felt your cold nose start to warm up against his body, the air you breathed our fanning against the cold skin on your cheeks as you nuzzled deeper onto him.

“Oh, there you are Angel.”

Two hands pulled at your arms, their warmth shocking your cold skin into goosebumps. His fingertips danced along your skin, callouses massaging your skin all the way up to your shoulders.

“I was looking for you. I was starting to think you got lost.”

You looked up as you said this, blinking innocently up into his honey eyes. He leaned his head a little bit away to stare at you, the tattoos on his cheek blending in with his long eyelashes.

Watching them twitch made your lips curve up, how they perfectly melted in together. You took one of your hands and pulled his face to look down at you properly, his brows pinching as he took in the full sight of you.

“You're so pretty Tecchou. Do you ever hear that?”

He smiled at those words, leaning closer into your hand.

“You told me that on our wedding night, actually.”

His brows pinched again, his gaze looking downward once again.

“Angel, why aren't you wearing your shoes?”

His words took a little to sink in, you still too busy watching how his beautiful face pulled apart as he said those words - the tattoos underneath his eye moving just underneath the small creases from his smile.

“Hmm… My feet hurt.”

You other hand lowered itself, cradling his waist as you swayed to the music that played throughout the room. It was easy to ignore the horrible singing that accomidated it, as you instead focused on the strong muscles that were barely consealed underneath Tecchou's suit.

He barely budges, only swaying slightly as he let you have your moment - watching you with hooded eyes. His steps were small, his heels clicking lightly against the tile of the dance floor.

“You know, if your feet hurt I can just carry you around.”

Stopping, you looked up at him, looking at his face carefully. His eyes held no lie, seeing as he was always a truthful man.

“Are you sure about that?” It was always polite to ask in your mind, even when you were challenging one of the strongest men you knew.

“I can lift twice your weight, you know that angel.“

A small smirk spread on his face as he said this, his eyes poring through your figure. His hands traveled down to your waist, squeezing you gently.

”I wouldn't break a sweat at all, if that's what you're worried about.“

You didn't have time to react as you stomach did twists, Tecchou manhandling you into a bride carry with ease.

”Oh my god, Tecchou!”

It was impossible to hide the joy in your words as he carried you, continuing the dance you had started earlier with ease. He hummed along softly to the song that still played, ignoring whatever wailing words were coming out of a horribly drunk Fukuchi's mouth at that moment.

It wouldn't ruin yours at the very least.

“What? I'm not going to let you walk around while your feet hurt.”

He danced with ease, completing a lazy waltz with you in his arms. His soft locks were lit up by the chandelier above, turned into a soft caramel from the light that shone through the strands. They stuck up in all sorts of directions, forming a creme brulee halo around his face.

You brought one of your arms to wrap around his neck, bringing your fingers to sift through the longer strangs of his hair. It was soft, almost an estactic feeling to have something so ethereal under your hand.

“You're so gorgeous.”

His face was closer to yours, his nose nearly brushing against yours. You giggled, stealing his air as you did so.

“I think you said that to me on our wedding night, handsome.“

His lips were pressed against yours, his handsome face blocking your vision for the rest of that night.

[explicit-tae]

Metamorphosis (teaser)

An alternate world in which you encounter someone in the middle of the night seemingly hurt. Much to your luck, you were extremely wrong.

READ NOW

Apart of the Halloween & Alternate Universe Masterlist. Releasing 10/15

word count (teaser): 389

warning (thus far): smut, unprotected sex, demon jk x human reader

“I’m going to make you cum over and over again.”

The rain falls even harder, but the majority of it is hidden beneath Jungkook’s body. He kicks off his pants along with his underwear.

You can’t see it, but you feel how large Jungkook is when he forces himself inside of you. You feel like you’re being stretched to the max. Your arms wrap around his neck tightly, breathing hitching.

“Beautiful human…so tight.” Jungkook growls. “Made just for me. My perfect little human.”

Jungkook doesn’t allow you the luxury to adjust to his size. He thrusts deeply inside of you, cracking his hips harshly. Your back hits against the muddy dirty roughly with each thrust. You were going to be filthy once this ended - if it ever did. This was a demon here with you? Did a demon’s stamina ever go out? It wasn’t like he was human.

“Jungkook, please!” you plead with him, but Jungkook doesn’t want to hear it. His teeth clamp down onto your skin, biting it harshly enough to release blood. “I-I can’t handle-”

“You can!” Jungkook hisses. He leans back to admire your disheveled appearance. You were covered in mud, blood and soaking wet. Your hair is sticking to you and your eyes are struggling to stay open. But to him - you were perfect. “Finally, mine.”

There’s a bulge in your stomach, reminding you just who you were fucking. Jungkook is a demon.

A demon.

You were going to Hell surely.

There’s blood trailing down your thigh, but still Jungkook refuses to halt his abusive thrusts.

“Your soul, your mind, your heart and your body belong to me.” Jungkook growls, appearing utterly animalistic. “All mine, Y/N. My beautiful human. And all it took was a deal from your father.”

Your father?

“He got what he wanted and in return…”

Jungkook flips you onto your knees. He wraps an arm around your neck and enters you once more. He continues the brutal pace, skin slapping and echoing off of the trees. You’re not sure if you were going to survive this. Your insides hurt - even if it came with brief pleasure. Your body was aching just as bad and Jungkook showed no chance of stopping.

“...in return…I got you, beautiful human of mine…” Jungkook grunts. “...you’ll be coming back home with me to Hell.”

[armpirate]

Disturbs on the 3rd floor | Jungkook

Part 2

pairing: Boxer!JK x fem!reader || Neighbors, enemies to lovers

w.c.: 3.2k

Warnings: Explicit, almost making out, mention of body's reaction to touch

Summary: After your new neighbor forced you into a war with him, you didn't think you could dislike someone you hadn't met the way you disliked him. After meeting him, you confirm that not only he's hot as fuck, he's also one big asshole.

Aprox. time of reading: 15 minutes

You woke up curled up in your bed sheets, hugging the pillow tight, when you realized it was still night and it wasn't even close to the time you had to get up that day. You never woke up in the middle of the night for no reason, so it was weird for you that you did. Once your senses started activating, you laid on your back and closed your eyes again before it was too late.

*Knock*

You frowned, but still ignored the sound. Maybe your neighbor just moved a bit too roughly in his sleep.

*Knock*

You sighed, annoyed at the sound, but still tried to ignore it because you just wanted to sleep. 

Your eyelids throbbed in sync with the increasing bangs against your walls, giving up on trying to keep them closed and finally sitting on the bed to turn back. If there was a moment when sounds could seem touchable, it was then. You swore you could perfectly see his headboard knocking against the plasterboard, faster as time went by. 

Just the same way, you hit your wall back with your  closed fist, thinking that'd actually make him stop. 

Silly you.

Not only those sounds got faster and harder, but they were also combined by the loud screams from a woman -that you were sure had her head right against the plasterboard to make those sounds as audible for you as possible. There was no other explanation. 

Letting your body fall lazily over the mattress, you tried to cover your face with your pillow, drowning the sounds as much as possible, but they were so loud that it made you feel like they were right in your room doing whatever it was they were doing. 

You weren't the most patient person out there, and it only took you a few seconds before you stretched your arm to reach for your phone. It was four in the morning, and there they were, acting like they were the only ones in the building. You thought someone else might've complained, but you forgot you were the only one wall to wall with them. 

Anyone else would've knocked on their door, but you still considered sending a text through the neighborhood community group chat so you wouldn't be a big bother. And also, because you thought that, by saying it so publicly, they'd be a bit embarrassed and tone it down. But they only got louder by the minute.

Giving up, you picked your pillow and walked outside your room, taking your small couch as the new bed for that night. At least there you didn't have to hear the constant bangs or the moans and growls that kept coming from them. 

It'd be only for that night.

Only for that night... Ha! 

If only you had known that your text would start a war between you two, you'd have knocked their door down that same night. The noise was more constant than before, if that was even possible. 

You wondered if it was their first time living in an apartment, and having to respect neighbors, because there was no way someone would react that way to a petition to have some human decency. 

They fought back. First, they made you take the three flower pots that were hanging on your balcony off, because they said it was dangerous and it also bothered them when they got home at night after you watered them. And second, it was the night you decided to bring someone home after a really long time, and your neighbor scared them away.

Sitting on the couch, you couldn't believe he faked talking on the phone and screamed how you had a cockroach infestation that made everyone in the building worry. Messing with how clean you were in front of a person you tried to get on with for months was where you drew the line.  

You didn't know much about your neighbor, other than that he tended to come back home late in the night -and you had confirmed that with the first complaint he sent your way, and the few times you saw his back entering his house past eleven. So, placing the speaker against his wall, and turning up the pop music as loud as possible at seven in the morning, seemed like a good plan all of a sudden. At least while you got ready to head to work -he was luckier in that sense. You only bothered him for half an hour, and then left your house until five -a time when he usually wasn't at home. 

Each one of your actions had a consequence, because as soon as you started doing that, he'd also start giving random knocks at your wall late in the night. And it was a few times that you two had called the police on each other for the noise, not getting much more than just a warning from their side.

Did that make you two stop? Obviously not. 

 If he made a hole in your room with a drill, you threw bleach at his dark clothes. If he threw your mail in the garbage, you nicked the side of his black motorbike that was always parked next to the door. It was a war that would never stop if you both kept behaving like that, unless one of you moved out. And it only made sense for him to leave, since he was the one who moved into his apartment a few months ago. 

At least that was your idea until you saw the community notice, hung at the cork board in the entrance. Your neighbors were asking you two to stop, because both of you were intoxicating the good environment in the building. Not that it was a lie, but if the community had intervened after the first two complaints, none of this would've come this far. The ball was on your roof, you had the choice to continue or stop, so you chose the sanest choice.

Jungkook, on the other hand, felt uneasy when the game between you two suddenly stopped. While annoying you, and having you clapping back every time, was the most expensive thing in the world -because of the amount of things he had to repair as a result-, he found certain joy and entertainment in what you two did. His twisted mind would come up with a revenge seconds after seeing the mess you did. But suddenly it all stopped.

He didn't hear from you in a while, he didn't see you tempted to knock on his door a few times when he blasted music late into the night. He wasn't sure if you had seen him, but he for sure was aware of your well settled curves under those tight pajamas. Having your attention on him made him feel proud, but it disappeared as soon as he started caring about it. And that upsetted him more than he'd like to admit. 

That night, he knew you were home. He had heard you on the phone, while you were walking around your room. The small drawing of a beach, that you used to cover the beach, worked to block him from seeing anything in your room, but it made whatever was going on inside there perfectly audible. And vice versa. 

But like it was a sign sent from above, he stumbled with the karaoke set one of his friends had gifted him for his birthday, as he walked around the living room. 

You felt your place strangely silent. It had been that calm for the past two days -surprisingly-, but something about the way it felt that night felt off. It was the typical vibes you get before something bad happens. At least that was the sensation as you stared at your ceiling among the darkness. 

You frowned when you heard some strange echoed sounds, that seemed like clacks -similar to the sound your tongue makes whenever you stick it to your palate and move it away fast. But that frown turned into your eyes going blank the second you heard the pop music blasting, while a male voice singing sounded louder than the rhythm. 

"What the fuck?" you muttered, finally sitting in your bed. 

Banging your fist against the wall, you tried to get his attention. But either the music was too loud, or he was straightforward ignoring you, because it didn't stop. 

Right then, you had two choices: either you did something to annoy him back, or you behaved like an adult since he stepped in the building and knocked on his door. You couldn't leave that place, your apartment was only ten minutes away from work, and the location was perfect for your free time as well -not to mention how cheap it was compared to the previous house you rented. You just couldn't leave because an asshole decided it was fun to mess with you. 

You moved the blankets aside, finally sitting up on the bed before you dragged your body out of it. You didn't even bother to put your slippers on, stepping out of your apartment to knock on his door, although the music was so loud that probably he wouldn't hear it. 

Your jaw was twisted, while you placed your hands on your hips and tried to think of different ways to tear that door down if he didn't open it in the next two minutes. But, for your own luck, and your fists', you heard a silent squeak on your back, and the music was even louder than it was seconds ago. 

Everything was perfectly settled in your mind, you had made up every word you would say, and every expression and tone you'd use so the message would be clear, but your mind went blank as soon as you turned around. 

You had seen your neighbor before, although only from the back. His ratio from waist to shoulders, whenever he entered his apartment in those straight jeans and half tucked t-shirt got your head running in circles, but seeing his other half did no good to your brain. 

His lips looked thin, pressed tight against one another as he tried to keep the proud smile to himself, which caused the dimples on his cheeks to show off, along with the mole under his lower lip and the two lips rings that were on the right side of his lower lip. You had never been into brown eyes, but you'd lose yourself in his doe looks by how big and rounded they were, not realizing how deep you were trapped in them until he spoke.

"Hey, 3A" he greeted you, naming you by the number of your apartment. 

"Hey?" you crossed your arms over your chest "It's one am, and you're blasting music and singing like it's nothing".

It took you a few seconds to get back your confidence, but it was going to go back all over the window when he lifted his arm over his head, resting his full sleeve tattooed arm rest on the door frame, while his eyes kept looking intensely into you. 

"No one else complained" he shrugged.

"Because their walls aren't right next to yours" you tried to explain. "I'm the only one having to stand you and the noises you make every day". 

"Quite funny you're saying that" he scoffed "Because using a drill at seven isn't the most normal either".

"At least I'm not the one who dug a hole in the wall" you snapped back. 

As he bent to the right, to get his hand to rest on his shoulder and nape, you could see his bicep flexing slightly. 

You breathed in deeply, trying to get some sanity back. Your annoyance and horniness was soon making this first meeting useless, and you didn't knock on his door to leave things unsolved that night. 

"Don't you think you might have a bias against me?".

That question made you chuckle, looking away for a mini second before you were back at looking at him. Typical asshole behavior: playing the victim instead of owning up to his mistake. 

"I don't care if you get choked on that mic, but do it silently" you spitted. "I'll call the police if I hear you again. You're warned".

Your neighbor didn't say anything, he simply twisted his lips and nodded, seeing you walking away back to your place and stopping at your door when you tried to open it. 

Pressing your lips together, you shut down the minimal complaint that could come from them when the door didn't open after several attempts. It probably closed while you were speaking to your neighbor, and now you were stuck outside unless you called a locksmith and paid more than seventy bucks to get your door opened. Then you realized that you didn't have your phone with you either.

"What's up, 3A? Want to join the party?" he asked on your back. 

That was humiliating.

If it had been someone else, you wouldn't have cared in the slightest -even if you didn't really know that person-, but the fact that it was the same person you ranted at confidently just seconds ago, made things bad. 

You turned on your tracks, walking towards him again as you tried that cocky look he was giving you.

"I'm locked outside" you explained. "My phone and my keys are in my place".

He clicked his tongue, grimacing at your words and faking how deep he was thinking on his next answer.

"It'd be difficult for me to help you if I get choked on that mic".

"Nevermind".

Only three minutes into a conversation with him, and you knew he was the type that would brag about helping you until your ways separated again. You were convinced he'd be the biggest pain in the ass, and probably he'd also take advantage over this. And if he already was annoying for no reason, you couldn't imagine how bad it'd get in the case that you owed him a favor. 

"Wait" he stopped you while he laughed "Come inside, and use my phone".

While you still didn't want any help from him, you still stepped inside his place when he moved his body behind the thick door, allowing you to come in. 

His house is exactly like yours, only that his is placed in reverse. It was quite minimalistic, there weren't many furniture or decorations; but the few things he had in there were placed in a way that made sense and that inspired a lot of balance and calm. The scent was also comforting, a slight floral smell that wasn't too heavy to be found annoying, but was powerful enough to be noticed as soon as you stepped inside. 

You turned back again, finding him walking to you "I can look up for a good locksmith" he sneaked his hand inside his baggy pants, taking his phone out to type something. 

You were surprised by how easily he lent his phone to you. If you had been in his place, you probably would've looked up the phone number and made him call from the landline phone in your living room. 

You huffed after hanging up, trying to get through the idea that the person in charge to open your door won't come anytime soon, leaving you stuck outside for more than an hour. 

"Thanks" you gave him back his phone. 

"When will they come?" 

"He said it'd take him an hour, because he has another service pending" you sighed.

You didn't know there were that many people getting stuck outside. But again, there you were, out of your place, and in the house of the man you declared war to weeks ago. 

"You can wait here in the meantime" he assured you.

"This will be an expensive favor, right?" you squinted your eyes, looking at him with distrust.

"Hmm didn't think of that" he puckered his lips. "I just wanted to be a good neighbor and bury the hatchet".

Accepting his words, you just nodded. It wasn't like you were fully uncomfortable, at least not in the bad sense. He just made you nervous, by the way he radiated so much confidence and power. It was so difficult for you to explain it properly. 

"I'm Y/N, by the way" you introduced yourself, trying to get him to focus on your words and not you. But Jungkook was able to do two things at the same time. 

"Jungkook".

And there was the silence again, and that intense look going through your body like you were completely vulnerable for him. 

"Do you want something to drink?

"Water" you replied instantly, almost not giving him time to finish the question. 

Your throat was going dry the longer he stared at you, you needed to get hydrated as soon as possible. 

Sitting on the couch, you saw a few pairs of boxing gloves on the shelf next to the door that would lead to his bedroom. And you wondered if he either collected them, was a boxer or did boxing for fun. 

Whenever he came home late in the night, you always caught him with his back facing your door, and it wasn't like his clothes were much different from any regular daily clothes. 

"So, you do boxing?" you casually asked as soon as he was back. 

Looking over you, he saw the shelf that could've given you that hint, and he instantly smiled at that tiny show of interest. 

"We can say I do, yeah" he nodded.

"That's not an answer" you sipped on the glass.

"I didn't know you were so curious about me" he raised his eyebrow.

"I just wanted to talk about something while we wait" you replied back, thinking that would take him out of his comfort zone, but he only seemed more comfortable after that reply, as if he was expecting you to answer that way. 

"Shall we talk about the shirt you ruined and that cost me two hundred bucks?".

"What? Is this a way to get me to pay for it?" you scoffed "You threw my mail away, in which there was a penalty fee that could've been multiplied if the old lady from 2B hadn't noticed. Should we talk about the three hundred bucks your little joke would have cost me?". 

So you had an answer for everything... Time to get into action then. 

"I'd have paid for it gladly".

The tone he used while looking at you that way, it made a wave of heat burn your body from head to toe fast. Your mind was running wild while he played with the rings on his lips, showing off the tip of his tongue. 

Your body instantly reacted to his hand lying so close to your thigh on the couch, you could even feel the fabric sinking with its weight. While you were so close to each other, and with the wooden scent giving short circuits to your brain, you just allowed yourself to give in. 

His lips ghosted yours, so close that you could feel his warm breath coating your mouth, but so far that he had you parting and moving your lips to look for his. shiverings ran through your body, like a calming massage to your brain, that pushed you to go on. You needed way more than that. 

But Jungkook just rubbed his lips on the left corner of your mouth, making your nipples tighten under the thin fabric of your old t-shirt. He continued his way up to your cheek, finally lending a soft kiss on your skin, getting closer to your earlobe. 

Soon you were imprisoned by his arm, which moved to the other side of your body to lie next to your left thigh. His lip rings felt cold in contrast with your burning skin and his warm and wet tongue. Your neck instantly moved to the side when the tip traced the curve of your earlobe, and you almost gasped when his teeth trapped the soft meat to pull from it gently. 

You went from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, and you didn't want to think about the level you could get to if you two continued. And it seemed like Jungkook read your mind, because he burst your bubble before you were completely gone in your thoughts.

"You wanted me to choke on my mic, yet here you are: waiting for me to touch you and kiss you" he whispered.

And his words felt like a bucket filled with ice, falling over you and taking you back to reality. Holding your breath, you stopped your body from working for a few seconds, pushing him away to have some space to move away and stand up. 

"You could only wish" those words were the only thing that could keep your dignity in that moment. 

Of course, he wouldn't even give you that.

"That's not what you are showing" following where his index finger is pointing at, you instantly place your palms over your breasts, trying to hide your visibly hard nipples.

"Asshole" you muttered, in between your teeth. 

Of course, he expected you to be annoyed at his comment and maybe turn the situation around to turn into some hot passionate sex. But instead, Jungkook saw you walking angry to the door, just to slam it against the door frame after leaving his place. 

It didn't turn out like he expected.

Could this be considered as a snippet for Anti-romantic? Possibly.

[seoul-bros]

Jikook Week 27 Complete ✔️(11/06 - 18/06/2024)

Their twenty seventh week in the military is now complete. They are hanging in there even though it is far from being the place either of them really want to be. Physically they look well but their handwritten Festa letters speak to how much they miss performing. I hope the fact that there is now less than a year to go and that Jin is out there carrying the BTS torch for them all will give them strength to continue even on the most tedious and slow days.

This week we celebrate another seven days under their belt with a look at what they were up to in June 2019.

Festa 2019 was in full swing and on 11/06 Big Hit released this JK memories of BTS video with a Euphoria remix as a backing track. Lots and lots of JK and Jimin is either there in front of the camera with him (albeit mostly cropped out) or behind the camera with lens focused lovingly on his Jungkook. They've been causing problems for Big Hit content editors for years.

For the big day itselt (13/06) Jimin prepared a gift for ARMY. It's the first time I've ever seen this video and I love how he captures the personality of each of the members (Hobi and RM in particular are hilarious) as well as giving us a glimpse of what it means to go on tour together.

It was a time of peak happiness for the BTS team before COVID sent them spiraling along with the rest of the planet. The BTS Festa dinner that year was Bangtan Attic a festival of yellow and purple. Gone were the doubts of the previous year and they had a pretty frank and humorous conversation about their past, their present and future.

There is so much going on here it's difficult to pick out highlights but one thing is very clear, BTS really begin to move forward as a team when the powers that be let Jin and Jimin drop the personas they had been assigned at debut and let them be themselves.

On 15-16/06, BTS were in Busan for 5th Muster Magic Shop.

5th Muster is one of the holy grails of jikook's history so much so that there are already full posts exploring this concert series including this amazing post by @wingzie. The ring incident in Busan still has me scratching my head. We never heard anything about it after that day.

The Busan boys were also in action on Vlive while BTS was in Busan. Jimin went live on the 15/06 and was positively glowing. The show had gone well and he was still on a high from the overseas tour. He wanted us to know how thankful he was for ARMY's support. He showed us Gwangan Bridge all lit up in purple...

... and he spent time talking about his martial arts training including cutting bamboo, newspaper slicing and extinguishing candles with a sword (a skill he retains to this day).

The next day it was Jungkook's turn. His room set up was identical to Jimin's so also overlooking the river but he had the blinds down so no view of the Gwangan Bridge that night.

He was in an excellent mood and opened a bottle of wine to celebrate - just two glasses - a rule he has since put aside. He talked about how he wanted to get back to GCF filming but with their schedule he hadn't been able to settle upon a topic.

He explained that he couldn't make the live very long because some of the staff were staying up to monitor it and wouldn't be able to rest until he had finished. This is what he said about that.

"We need to be considerate of others. Only then can we understand each other and get close to each other and become one"

I don't think he was still talking about the staff at this point. Look at that cheeky satisfied smile behind the glass. Happy times in 2019.

Post Date: 18/06/2024

[your-girl-mj]

morning after [1610!miles × f!reader]

summary: morning after with hangovers and your sweet boyfriend miles

warning: mama rio in early mornings /jk

note: she/her for reader, he/him for miles. aged up!miles and reader <3

created: august 10, 2023

published: august 15, 2023

first part | second part.

[name] woke up feeling wasted the night before, which is true. she blinks the lights out until she gets used to it. looking around, she just figured out she's in miles's room.

she was scooted to the far corner of the bed, blanket neatly tucked her in, with an empty side of the mattress.

the girl slowly sat up, and she was hit with a major headache. hammering into her brain. a groan left her lips before she lay down again to make it stop.

[name] was rubbing the side of her head when miles came into his room. "hey. morning, baby." he was holding a bowl of freshly made soup, with a towel hanging on his arm. he spoke so softly to her, scared that any loud sounds would make her hangover worse.

"hi," matching his tone, she looked confused at the bowl in his hands as miles gave her a peck on her crown. "what's this?"

"breakfast, i made it." he grinned proudly. with a twip sound, he shot a web to glass of water at the table across the bed. when he retrieved it, the water spilt and wet the floor, "oh shoot—!" he was quick to send a sheepish beam

a giggle erupted from her throat, "you're such a dork." miles laid the towel on her lap and put the bowl in her hands.

"don't eat it yet," then taking off to get towels on his drawers, muttering; "didn't think that one through."

"¿mijo, estás bien por ahí?" mrs morales' voice is heard from outside the room, [name] peak at the agape door she saw her cleaning the kitchen. she's cleaning the mess miles made. [son, are you okay over there?]

"buenos dias, señora." the girl greeted, slowly sitting up again, as mrs. came in the room. not noticing miles hanging the now wet towel by his window sill next to his newly washed jacket. [good morning, mrs.]

"¡buenos dias, mija!" her voice made a slight knock on the brain, but [name] smiled warmly at her mother-in-law. "¿ya te lo comiste? miles lo hizo solo para ti." [good morning, daughter!] [did you already eat it? miles made it just for you.]

"not yet, but i'm sure it's good—" the girl was about to sip, but mrs. morales stopped her before she could get a taste. the spoon full was frozen in mid-air as she waited for the woman's words, thinking she did something wrong.

"ah!" a single sound makes it feel like you did something you should've. "mijo, feed her. i'm getting her some aspirin." with that, she left the room, leaving the door open for reasons.

"i was gonna before you came in," miles muttered a comment, rolling his chair closer to the bed, smiling at his girl who mirror it back.

"what did you just say?" mrs morales swiftly turned to face where his room is. her tone is blaring enough to be heard loud and clear. hands rested on her hips with a deep frown.

"i said, i was already planning to, mama!" miles cupped a hand over his mouth, not wanting to make [name]'s hangover worst. "sorry 'bout the noise, [nickname]." he sends a sheepish grin, stirring the soup, then scooping a spoon full and feeding her.

the two can hear mrs. morales muttering along the lines of, "if i heard one bad mouth, i'll ground him for three months. mummbling and muttering, i will woop his—" and the rest is mystery.

"its okay," she replied once swallowed, "i like lively mornings with you," [name] rested her hand over his, a beam never seems to left her features, "any morning with you, to be honest. it's been a while since i stayed over." with that, she continued to eat as he fed her. mrs. morales order's.

miles feel the same warmth in his heart at his girl. thinking about it, it's been a while since they spent the night together, and it's because he's busy being spiderman, a son, and a student all together. he only has a little time to be her boyfriend.

he soon feels guilt in his chest once again, the same one he felt last night. he now knows what she meant when she said he cancelled another date. sober [name] said it was fine while drunk [name] is saying she feels unloved.

they do say drunk words are sober thoughts.

before miles can bring up the topic, his dad already there to join the chaos. "what's the fuss all about?" he gave his wife a bear hug from behind. he's already in uniform, ready for work.

"my daughter has a hangover," mrs. morales stated, she finally found the medicine, and strolled her way back. those words never fail to make [name] melt on the spot.

"kidnapping is illegal." mr. morales reminded her, making himself a cup of coffee. his wife ignored his words and set water on the table as well as the aspirin the girl needed.

"drink this once you're done eating. miles, you're in charge of her." she gave him a firm look before pulling the door to only a few inches open.

"i'm starting to think she loves you more than me," miles shrugged, taking a few sips on the soup as well before feeding his girl. his eyes are literally heart-shaped as he looks at her lovingly.

"sorry, you have to find it this way, babe," [name] matches his tone, drawing a chuckle from her s/o. after a short moment, she leaned to his headboard with a sigh. "sorry, i got drunk. you probably had a hard time getting me home," she refused to meet his eyes, playing with the helm of the blanket on top of her.

"nah, it's cool. you're adorable when you're drunk." he kissed her on the nose, which she crunched up in process. "do you remember anything yesterday?" thinking she might be able to recall what she said to him.

as miles fetch her water and medicine, she couldn't help but get curious. "no. did we swing to your room?"

"if we did, the streets in brooklyn will be close for major clean up." his hand was fast to catch the thrown book at him, just seconds after his spider sense activated. he spun to face her, dorky beam is present to his face.

his girl only narrowed her eyes at him, "i don't know if i should be pissed or attracted to you right now." miles only shook his head with a laugh.

he thought back what her words were about last night. he wanted to make things clear and apologise for cancelling his dates with her more often than he intended.

she did say she doesn't drink, but why change that last night? he thought about it. clogs working on his brain before he was hit with reality. but he wanted to confirm it before assuming.

"is there any reason why you..drink last night?" miles asked gently and worried at the same time, not wanting to make her taken back with the sudden question.

"uh.. i kinda wanna know what it tastes like and... i guess i lost track.." it was the hesitancy in her voice that made his assumption higher. "this thing tastes amazing, by the way. i didn't know you had a chef dna in your blood." [name] smiled lightly, holding the bowl up then setting it to his bedside table.

changing the topic, he thought. "what can i say? i'm a genius," he hid his flustered expression with a smirk. miles hand her the aspirin, sitting beside her on his bed. miles watched her chugged up the water. once she was done, he started, "y'know, you can tell me anything, right?" taking her hand in his. miles' other hand put the cup away, right next to the bowl.

as the heat of his palms envelopes hers, it made her lean her body to him, swallowing the heat of his body, head on his shoulder. miles gladly accepts the gesture, wrapping his arms around her. "i know you basically know all my secrets." chuckling, she played it cool.

miles rest his head on top of hers, breathing out a sigh, "not all of them.." pulling her to his lap, just letting her rest. he peaked the crown of her head. "¿Por qué bebiste hermosa?" [why did you drink, beautiful?]

[name] can tell he was worried, she also feels a little guilty. miles let her play with the helm of his shirt, folding and unfolding, tugging it, wrinkling it. whatever made her to process her words to say. "i don't know.."

"you don't know?" his hands tapping on her thighs, before drawing — doodling on her back with the tip of his finger. they're completely relaxed to each other, to the point they didn't see mrs. morales sneaking a picture of them, then letting them be.

"i was... feeling kinda lonely, i guess.." she crumbled the bottom of his shirt, "i don't really know.." she whispered, dancing around the truth. she's too embarrassed to admit that she misses him dearly,

they've been like this for almost a year. few months after miles became spiderman, he's always there for her.

they still have time together, but after a few times of miles missing a date or hangout... those few times became often. and she feels like she's his best friend again, just.. hanging around for a short while before he leaves.

"y'know, you told me you feel unloved because i always cancelled our dates..." miles feel her hands stopped fidgeting, her state completely frozen. "is it true?"

when [name] only stayed quiet, he suck his teeth. "hey, it's okay if you do. i won't cancel on you again, i promise you."

"...i—" she took a breath, "i don't want to feel like a priority to you..." miles frowned at that, "you're already busy being spiderman, and with your studies not to mention with your parents, i don't want to squeeze myself in there—"

[name] was unable to finish as his lips pressed into hers, miles pulled away from a second, looking at her briefly before locking their lips in a kiss again.

once pulled away, the girl is in awe for a short amount of time before hiding into his neck. miles gave her ear a kiss, whispering. "you don't have to squeeze yourself in. you're already in it." sighing, disappointed to himself, "it was my fault.."

"miles..." she shook her head, ready to deny his words.

"no, don't deny it." he pulled away, looking at her beautiful face, cupping it in his hands. "I've been a bad boyfriend to you for so many months now... and i'm really sorry, sunflower.." [name] feel her heart skip a beat at the old nickname he always call her when they started their relationship, where everything was perfect.

the nickname brought both nostalgia.

"i wanna make it up to you, and not just flowers, chocolates, and some drawings." holding her hands in his, he kisses each and every finger and knuckles, "i want to make it up to you in a real date, without any interpretations. just me and you." his eyes held hope and determination. he doesn't want to mess this up.

[name] feel a smile crept to her lips before it was wiped out and worry was replaced. "but miles, what if—"

"dad can handle it." miles immediately answered, but her expression didn't change, she feels like she would be the reason why someone would get hurt because spiderman didn't show up. "they'll be okay. it will only be once in a while. there are no super villain on the loose for them to need me. dad can handle a few criminals."

the smiled he adored came back, making him mirror it. "okay," she nodded, pulling him into her once again, "i missed you."

"i missed you too, sunflower."

sorry for not posting sooner, writer's block beat me like miguel beating miles (child abuse /jk) 😔

[mercurygguk]

cami can we pleaseee get a time stamp of jk and oc during one of their dates. it could be completely up to you how it goes 🥹💗

risqué ; timestamp #15

18+ content below the cut

pairing; risqué!jk x risqué!oc

genre; fluff/indicative, fluffy and sexy smexy flirting that leads to sex lol ofc

a/n; the risqué couple haven’t been on actual dates outside so their ‘dates’ take place at jk’s place 🥹

[07:23 PM] “baby, stop-“

jungkook’s chest vibrates with a low chuckle, trying his best to be careful not to accidentally burn himself or you on the pan he’s currently using to cook you a meal. he’s currently the victim of your ticklish touch underneath his t-shirt, your mouth pressed to his back to muffle your playful laughter.

you giggle, sliding your palms further up his torso, the muscles of his abdomen tensing under your touch for every laugh he allows to escape.

“i’m barely doing anything,” you grin while peeking over his shoulder to take a look at the food he’s cooking. it smells and looks so good; although you’re not sure if the good-looking part of it is the actual food or the way his hands look when cooking. either way, it’s hot.

however, before you know it, jungkook turns around to abruptly lift you onto the counter of his kitchen island, placing himself between your legs while placing his hands on either side of you on the counter top. he leans in close, his lips brushing over yours.

“you’re distracting me…” he murmurs quietly, the only sounds in the background being the sizzling of the pan and the music that’s playing from the stereo in his living room. however, you can’t focus on anything but the sound of his low murmuring voice that pulls you in like a siren calling.

“oh, i am?” you grin mischievously, your eyes shifting between his as you slide your arms around his neck and press your chest against his.

jungkook huffs out another chuckle, bringing his hands up to slide them up and down your sides a few times before letting them rest on your waist.

“mhm…” he hums, smiling at you with something in his eyes that neither of you know how to describe. “if you’re that needy for attention, just say so.”

you grin at him, unable not to. as much as you love to bicker with him on stupid topics like this one, you can’t bring yourself to do it this time. he’s right – you are in dire need of attention but not just anyone’s. no, you want his attention and only his.

“will you give it to me if i ask for it?” you ask innocently, letting your lips turn into a pout.

jungkook feels his heart clench in his chest at the sight, his eyes dropping to glance at your lip as it juts out. the playful mischief in your eyes tells him that it’s all an act – you know exactly what to do to get his undivided attention.

“depends on how you ask,” he retorts, voice low and husky as if you stole the power of his voice away. his entire body is warm, heated up with an all too familiar feeling that he can’t deny around you. he can’t deny it at all and his body and mind tells on him as they work on their own accords, causing him to lean in even closer.

“is that so?” you grin, playful glint in your eyes as you lean further away, making him chase your lips.

jungkook growls quietly and nods, sliding his arms around your body, keeping you close and tight against him. one of his hands slides down to hold the curve of your ass while the other slides up to grab you by the nape of your neck, forcing you to stay close and unable to lean further away.

you should’ve known – you wouldn’t get far even if you actually tried… not that you mind.

“ask me nicely and i’ll consider it,” he tells you, his lips so close to yours but still not kissing them, his breath hitting the skin of them as he speaks. the action and the entire situation as a whole sends chills down your spine and arousal through your body, your core reacting to every little thing he does.

“can i have your attention for a moment, sir?”

your lips curl into a smirking grin as jungkook’s body stiffens for a second, that last word surprising him to say the least but you can tell as he relaxes into you again that he doesn’t mind it.

it takes all in jungkook to not lean in the rest of the way and clash his lips to yours. he’s headstrong on making you ask nicely, a specific word missing in that innocent little request of yours. his voice is almost gone by now, merely a whisper against your lips before he allows himself to indulge in you and forget all about that dinner he was cooking before.

fuck it, he’ll just heat it up later.

“say please.”

your resolve is quickly disappearing. he can tell because your breathing is turning heavier and your heart is beating so hard in your chest that he can feel it against his own chest.

“please?”

“good girl.”

with that, jungkook clashes his mouth to yours in a heated, hungry kiss that causes a chill to run down your spine like lightning. his own body is lit on fire the second his mouth is on yours, a moan leaving him almost instantly as his tongue finds yours in the matter of split seconds, dancing with yours in a hot and tantalizing tango of wetness. when your legs lock around his waist and your core presses against his, he knows.

he’s fucking you rough and thoroughly on the counter top tonight.

[animentality]

I just wanna remind the class that Sirius Black was an awful character. He basically did nothing to help or protect Harry through all of the books where he was alive, and while I agree that Harry sucks, and I wouldn't want to protect him either, it's still a mark against his character and speaks to like, the total incompetence of JK Rowling as a writer.

In book 3 he endangered the trio by dragging Pettigrew under the Whomping Willow and getting them involved in his bullshit, when he could've just waited for a better opportunity instead of literally diving on Ron in front of his friends and dragging his ass away. Like really? Harry is in Gryffindor, idiot, he's not gonna let his best friend get eaten by a dog. Also Harry had to watch his parents die. You really wanted him to watch you murder a guy? You're stupid as hell.

You're also a fucking dog, and Pettigrew is a RAT. Neither of you have a wand. You can easily outpace a rat and then tackle him if he tries to change into a human. Also Crookshanks. Corner him when he tries to make a run for it. Don't dive on him when there are people around.

Also even if he runs, what the fuck is stopping you?

You have nothing going on. No 9 am meetings. Chase him away from Hogwarts so you can hunt his ass in peace. Don't bring Harry into it at all. You have nothing but time.

Then the only good thing he does is lose Pettigrew, vaguely save the kids from a werewolf, which is kind of his fucking fault, I might add.

And then passes out so that Harry can save HIM. Then he has to be saved again from returning to Azkaban.

Now you can at least excuse book 3 Sirius because the guy is absolutely nuts after 12 years in evil wizard prison. He's cracked and he's not thinking straight. And him being hunted by the government isn't really his fault. He's a red herring. The big plot twist is that he's not evil and that's "fine." It's acceptable.

But book 4?

Oh my god he's so useless.

He's there for Harry to send letters to, and then NOT help him at all.

The only thing he does is get interrupted by Ron before he can tell Harry to do something really stupid, which is hit the dragon in the fucking eye, something that could've easily gotten him burned or stomped on, or still hit with the Horntail's tail. Harry basically figured it out because of fake Moody, not Sirius.

Then Sirius' guidance is just a red herring of "oooh watch karkaroff" gee thanks buddy.

I'm so glad you're here just so JK Rowling can misdirect the audience. Again.

He also gives exposition about Barty Crouch.

Again, for the misdirect, of thinking Barty Crouch is bad.

But that's it.

There are far better ways to give exposition on Crouch. I'd argue the movie did it better and in a more dramatic way.

He then does nothing whatsoever to help Harry with the 2nd or 3rd tasks. His greatest utility is as a support animal at the end of book 4.

It's actually amazing how he does nothing for the entirety of Goblet of Fire.

He basically just comes back to Britain so he can die in the next book.

And then that's where he's at his worst before dying.

He encourages Harry to do dangerous and stupid things. He does stupid things himself and makes Harry, the 15 year old boy, worry about him, a grown ass man, because he hates being home.

I know that people have childhood trauma and all that, but for fucks sake.

He would not be a suitable guardian for a child ever because he puts himself first.

And before you fuckheads start insisting that's the "tragedy" of his character and it's so emotional and deep, yak yak, I don't want to hear it because he's a fucking plot device before a character.

His whole role in book 5 is to make you think he's gonna do something stupid.

And then he does.

And then he dies.

And it's crazy because he's a wildly popular character, despite the fact that he's terrible. But I can't even really criticize the popularity, because it's mostly carried by Gary Oldman being hot, and also doing a way better job of making us give a shit about him.

I can't express enough how absolutely stupid and awful it was for Sirius to brush Harry off when he was afraid he was becoming evil after seeing nagini attack Arthur!! this is the last fucking book Sirius is alive and this is like the last time they really get to talk one on one.

the scene with Gary Oldman telling him he's not evil... it literally outweighs every fucking Sirius Black scene in the goddamn books!! and it's an original scene.

the director realized that we have to remember we actually like Sirius because of how little he has to do in the main plots.

but it fucking worked.

the warmth that Gary Oldman exudes in that movie is genuinely charming.

but the book Sirius???

NOT. IT.

There's nothing wrong inherently with excusing some of this crap for drama or storytelling purposes, I just object to the fact that the character himself could've been far more interesting and sympathetic.

He could've actually been helpful or proactive or had something to do with the plot that wasn't just acting as a red herring, which I might add he did literally 3 times. First he's not a villain, second it's not Karkaroff or Crouch, and then third he's not actually in the ministry building, Harry's just an idiot.

The childhood best friend of a kids dead father has so much potential.

But he's shuffled and sidelined and treated like a prop before a person. His charming nature is just for fun, it doesn't actually bring anything out of Harry, aside from the protectiveness he feels for all of his friends.

He's vaguely funny sometimes and cracks a few jokes and tells the kids they're dumb every once and a while.

And that's it.

I really can't express enough how absolutely fumbled his character is. We don't get enough of him talking about James or his time at Hogwarts.

Ironically Snape gives Harry way more info on what his dad was like, in like, all of his flashback scenes.

We never got to see the warm side of James that wasn't associated with bullying Snape.

Sirius would've been a great way to balance that out... but we never get his perspective on it.

He's there to dump exposition and be saved.

And it's such a waste.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

15 Day Bl Challenge - Part 4

Just when I think I'm out... they pull me back in!

Lol, jk, I think these are really fun, and many thanks to @pinkkop for making this a quadriquel. Link here! It's never too late to join!

Day 46 - BL you want to experience again for the first time

Ooh, this is such a good question. There's probably quite a few, really, but I'll try to keep it reasonable.

I think part of what I'd really like to recapture is the feeling when I first found BL, because it was such a genuinely magical time. I do find that over time my enthusiasm... it hasn't waned, exactly, but it's harder to get the dopamine hit, I guess. Though I am still enjoying so much about QLs! I don't ever want to become cynical or take it all for granted. Growing up with zero representation is still too real for me.

Ok, back to the actual question!

First pick - Not Me

People love to complain about GMMTV, but also - they made Not Me! Maybe largely by accident, but it still happened. I was immediately captured by the twins premise, but then the way the show delved into politics and resistance, and how queerness intersects with that - it was just incredible. The romances were great, but they weren't what captured my heart. It was the characters, and the themes around the desire for a better world, where we can all be our authentic selves and be loved for that. I am beyond excited P'Nuchy is coming back, because she has a lot to say, and I love how she says it.

Also Yok is still my best baby and no one has surpassed him yet.

Second pick - Love in the Air (Thai)

This one is less about plot and more about vibes. Just as watching QL is what helped me figure I was not, indeed, entirely straight, LITA helped me figure out I may have some slight D/s tendencies as well. Something just happened to me watching this one, I was just really caught up in the PayuRain story in a way I did not expect. I felt some brand new feelings with this one, and there's very few things that do that for me at this point in my life.

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

⤷ chapter thirty one: treachery

prev < masterlist > next

marga's notes. sorry this took years to post i was dead (inside) jk lol pls blame my uni for burning me out

Perhaps, I was too ambitious to think this would be a plain sailing journey. How ironic, it's the exact opposite of what is happening. Doubt and confusion presents itself as soon as I decide to fight our fate. My mind only has perplexity and skepticism. How could it not? I mean, what do you even do when somebody claims to be your fated one but your soul rejects the notion?

The sound of the television's static travels to your ears as Kiyoomi scrolls through his phone to find a good movie to watch for the night, accompanied by the sound of your mother chopping the ingredients of your family's dinner from the kitchen, albeit somewhat muffled. Your fingers remain hovering over the laptop's keyboard, unsure if you should still continue writing when once again, various things distract you, most of them unwelcomed. As if on cure, your phone chimes for the nth time, signaling that you've received yet another text. You only let out an exasperated sigh and pick up the device, reading the message.

[7:15] Hajime: Hey, wanna vc? Just ate dinner, hope you did too :)

For some reasons you don’t know, Iwaizumi just can’t leave you alone from the moment you got off the plane, went outside the airport up until now, where you’re spending your time with your father and brother after being away from them for so long. It was heart fluttering at first, really; how excited he was to see and to be with you. However, some things are just too much sometimes, especially when all you wanted to do was watch said movie and catch up with your family. It was peace: something you craved for as of the moment because in the back of your mind, you knew that the following months would become chaotic.

The gray screen gets filled with vivid colors when Kiyoomi finally finishes setting up a random romantic comedy movie. Quickly typing out a response, you hit the send button. 

[7:17PM] You: That’s good to hear. We already ate as well. Currently watching a movie with ‘Omi and Dad right now so I won’t be able to reply after this. Have a good night :)

[7:19PM] Hajime: Ah.. okay then. Good night, soulmate <3

You pause to read his last message before finally turning the do not disturb mode on and lightly tossing the phone to the side. Heaving yet another sigh, you catch the attention of your brother who was sitting beside you.

"Do you not like this movie? We can change it if you want, it hasn't been that long anyway," your brother suggests, an eyebrow rising when you shake your head. Your dad was long asleep by the couch he usually relaxes on, probably fatigued from the week's work. You turn to your brother's gaze.

"No, just thinking…" you trail off, "what do you think of Iwaizumi?"

Kiyoomi merely shrugs, “eh, he’s fine.”

You huff, “at least give an effort to think about it more. I’m asking a serious question here, you know?”

The frustrated expression on your face causes your brother to ponder over the query a bit more before sighing, “this is difficult. We’re not even that close for me to comment on him. But he looks decent, like he can take care of you.”

His brows furrow when he perceives the slight disappointment on your face, almost as if you were expecting to hear him say negative things instead, “what’s up with you?”

“You really think he’s good?” you lightly say, eyes wandering as if lost further in your own thoughts. He hums, “yeah, something like that. But then again, you don’t need him to take care of you. You can do that yourself, and even if you can’t, you have me, or Osamu.. And his brother, Atsumu.”

He takes note of the way your face subconsciously lights up at the mention of the blonde’s name. Instinctively, it’s always him. 

“O-okay,’’ you stutter with a light blush. 

He ignores it though, it’s a topic set for another time and goes to ask instead, “mind filling me on why you suddenly ask about Iwaizumi-san?” 

Your somberness returns and once again, you look confused, doubtful, “well, he said he was my soulmate…”

Kiyoomi’s eyes widened, as if he couldn’t believe what he heard.

You don’t notice it as you continue to ramble on, “and I don’t know why but I just find it difficult to believe him and I feel guilty about that. ‘Cause I try to think about it, he doesn’t have any reason to lie to me, right? Especially since you yourself said he was a good guy. But, ugh, this is so complicated.”

“Come again?” He asks through gritted teeth, his fists starting to clench in anger. You look at him oddly, which turns to a glare in a second, annoyed that he wasn’t fully listening, “I said… I find it difficult–”

“No, not that. The one before that.”

“Ugh, I said Hajime told me he was my soulmate before. You know, the one I can’t remember? Well, at least that’s what I thought but apparently, he thinks it was a malfunction with the soulmate system. Because I can clearly remember him as my friend and yet, he insists that maybe the system distorted my memories or something like that,” you finish talking, expectantly looking at him, lurching backwards when you see his reaction, “Hey… you okay, ‘Omi? Okay.. I’m sorry. I know I wasn’t supposed to search for him anymore nor entertain soulmate stuff.. but you know how impo–”

“Let’s not talk about it anymore,” he abruptly stands up from the couch and quickly makes his way upstairs. You scramble to get up, “hey! Where are you going? Omi! You said you wanted to watch this movie…”

You only hear his bedroom door close as a response. 

“Geez, what got up that weirdo’s ass? So much for a movie night.. one falls asleep right away while the other has very bad mood swings,” you mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you go back to the living room, picking up your phone and trudging upstairs to your bedroom. You unlock your phone and see messages from Osamu and another from Hajime. 

[7:30PM] Samu: Tomorrow. Here at our house. I don’t accept a no. Good night ^_^

[7:35PM] Hajime: Oh, by the way, do you want to go out tomorrow? (:

“Sorry, Haji. Don’t really want to disappoint Samu,” you whisper as you type out replies for the both of them, the guilt of not minding if you disappoint Hajime instead becomes a fleeting thought.

Before you can even raise your fist to knock, the familiar wooden front door opens widely and you are welcomed by the sight of your gray-haired best friend. He pulls you in a tight hug and mumbles curses as he buries his face in your neck, “You took too long… way too long, idiot.” 

“It was only a few years, you dramatic ass. Never took you to be a clingy type of friend,” you hug him back with the same tightness before letting him go and walking inside their humble abode. He excitedly leads you to the living room, “wait here. Let me just get my brother.”

“Uhh… what?”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you, we’re going out with him. You know, like what we used to all do when we were–” his eyes widened as if he remembered something before lightly coughing and continuing to speak, “I mean… like what we both used to do, you know? But this time, with him. It’s been a long time since he came home too… and this could be a chance for you two to get closer to one another.”

He finishes rambling, internally praying you don’t catch the nervousness in his voice due to his slip-up a moment ago. He curses when he sees you slowly nod. With so many years of knowing you, Osamu already knew from your expressions that you caught even that minor mistake, how you’re currently scrutinizing each and every word they all speak ever since you came back and how you’re starting to get suspicious about everyone around you.

He doesn’t know if he should thank or curse Kiyoomi for giving him a heads up about your plans to find your soulmate. It makes him so conscious, so nervous he might accidentally tell you that the very person you’re trying to find is his dearest twin brother.

At the present, however, he only gulps and prays instead that you just pretend you didn’t notice anything. You do exactly that when you shrug and tell him, “alright then. That’s no problem for me.”

“G-good,” he says a little too loudly, mentally slapping himself to get it together, “I’ll… get Atsumu now hehe.”

You narrow your eyes at his weirdness, shaking your head before bringing your phone out to check your socials. You hum with interest as you open a message from Hajime.

I like to believe that I’m trying– that I enjoy the idea of being his soulmate, that I look on with favor to partaking in this play pretend, this fantastical theatrics of trying to work things out the way they are– me as his fated one, him as mine.

[9:09AM] Hajime-kun: Good morning, soulmate :) I’m a bit bummed we couldn’t go out. Anyway, enjoy your day with Osamu. Hopefully, it’ll finally be my day tomorrow?

[9:10AM] You: Good morning, Hajime-kun. Sorry again about that hehe but sure, I think I’m finally free tomorrow haha 

[9:12AM] Hajime-kun: Great! Also, I told you to drop the honorifics. You feel so distant when you use it *sadly sighs*

[9:13AM] You: Silly. I just respect you that much, okay? 

You hear multiple footsteps coming down so you quickly type out another message for him.

[9:14AM] You: Anyway, I have to go now. See you tomorrow.

You type out the word soulmate at the end of your text, only to delete it as soon as you pull on your heart. 

But I’m no actress. It’s all treachery. Whenever I try to give him  a chance, I feel like a traitor. It’s almost as if I was betraying someone, like I’m unknowingly breaking somebody else’s heart, my soulmate’s heart, somebody who my heart believes was not him. So I step back and hesitate, maybe I should just stop this. To prevent any more complications, to not feel guilty towards anyone, not to you and not to him. 

Before you can drown deeper in your thoughts, the twins come into view. You give Atsumu a shy smile as a greeting, feeling your heart skip when he returns the gesture. Osamu looks back and forth at the two of you and thinks, I guess the soulmate system really is a scam, huh? Even fate can’t handle these two. So obvious.

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “What are you two? High schoolers? You could do better than those shy smiles.”

You both awkwardly chuckle, both cursing the gray-haired lad in your minds. 

“Fine, fine. It’s nice to see you again, Atsumu-san,” you genuinely smile and Atsumu’s heart skips. So pretty, he thought.

“It’s also nice to see ya again.”

Welcome home, YN, the blonde thinks with relief and solace filling his soul.

“Waah, it’s been so long since I came here,” you exclaim as your eyes take in the view of the very familiar and busy street market of your hometown. Atsumu looks at you fondly, hands itching to just grab yours and pull you to his arms while you stroll around the area but his thoughts don’t let him get too far as his twin calls him. “You’re too obvious, boy. You look like a lovesick puppy,” Osamu snorts, hands in his pockets as they watch you excitedly talk to the stall owners, “she wanted you to look at her that way for so long, yanno? Too long.”

“Yeah… I still regret that,” Atsumu sadly smiles, “Nothing much I can do about it now. Our fate’s passed.”

“Or so you think,” his twin shrugs when the blonde looks at him with confusion, “YN… even without her memories of you, is still YN. It’s funny, actually. Even fate couldn’t control her. Even after all that has happened, she still wants to find you. So don’t be a coward, Tsum. You don’t need to ask the world nor the gods for a second chance. YN… she’s giving it to you herself already, even without you asking.”

Atsumu looks at you once more, heart painfully throbbing at your smile as you call the both of them over to where you are. 

“She doesn’t realize it, neither do ya but… she still looks at ya the same way as she did before,” Osamu finishes as he pats Atsumu’s back before walking to you.

“Hey! You two walk so slow,” you comment, pointing to the stall in front of you, “they have ice cream there. Want some?”

“I’ll get it,” Atsumu says as he brings out his wallet.

“I’ll have mint chocolate,” Osamu says. You open your mouth to say your order but the blonde beats you to it.

“Vanilla with chocolate drip and those colorful sprinkles on top. Your favorite, right?” Atsumu says without looking up while he tries getting some coins out. You and his twin become silent, shocked at his familiarity. Osamu internally screams at his twin, this idiot! 

On the other hand, you freeze. How did he know such a very specific detail about you?

Realizing what he just said, Atsumu stops as well, the gears in his head turning to think of an excuse, “Uhm… that was weird for me to know, huh? It’s just that Osamu complained so much about it when I was abroad. Guess it just registered in my brain hehe.”

Nice save, he thought.

“Oh…really? Haha, that’s… interesting to hear haha,” you awkwardly laugh.

“Yeah… anyway, I’m gonna–” he gestures to the stall before practically running to it.

As soon as you thought he was already far enough from the two of you, you grip Osamu’s arm and pull him closer to you and threateningly ask, “This is a question that requires an answer if you want to live through the day– who was Atsumu’s soulmate? Why is his thread also cut off?”

He yelps and stutters, “W-what? What soulmate… I have no idea!”

You tighten your grip on him, “Oh, please, Miya Osamu. I know you have an idea.”

He gulps, “I-I swear I don’t. We never knew because Atsumu couldn’t see the thread.” 

You weren’t fully satisfied with his answer yet you had no choice but to let go of him as you see Atsumu coming back. You look at Osamu with a stare that tells him you were definitely not done with the said topic yet. God, she can be scary sometimes, the lad thinks and shivers in fear.

The blonde hands you your ice cream and smiles before looking around, eyes stopping at another stall.

“Oh, look! They sell waffles there, I think? I remember it’s also your favo–” he stops talking before correcting himself, “I remember Osamu saying it’s also your favorite, am I right?”

“Oh… uhh… yeah, you’re right,” you watch them argue with their eyes, frowning. 

“I’ll buy it this time!” Osamu squeaks out, rushing off and leaving you two.

“He’s so weird,” you comment as you stand beside Atsumu, giggling when he agrees.

“I know right. The gods know how much I’ve put up with that ass,” he shakes his head before sighing, “But he’s put up with me so much as well and probably more… humbled me for so many times already. I’ve made a lot of dumb decisions in my life, yanno? But for some reason, he’s the one always anchoring me, bringing me back and reminding me I could try again,” he pauses and says thoughtfully, “that it’s never selfish to take a second chance at things… or the people I love.”

You look at him and find him already looking at you, melancholy swimming deep in his eyes. You feel another painful twist in your heart and find your eyes welling up. A tear falls down which makes you gasp, hand reaching up but Atsumu beats you to it, his palm was already on your cheek, the pad of his thumb wiping the lone tear. Realizing what he has done, he starts pulling back his hand, “sorry. I should’ve asked for your conse–”

He halts when you wrap your hand around his wrist, placing it back.

“You know, Atsumu-san. Looking at you hurts like hell,” you start, closing your eyes as you feel more tears coming down, “whenever I look at you, my heart does this painful thing where it almost feels like I’m about to have a heart attack. It’s excruciating but… it makes me feel so alive, so full at the same time. It makes me think– what if… what if you were my soulmate and I just forgot?”

You open your eyes and sadly chuckle, “I think I’m weird like Osamu too.”

You bring down both of your hands and intertwine it, “Sorry for this.”

Your heart skips yet again when he grips your hand tighter after squeezing it, all while mumbling, ‘it’s okay… I think.”

However, there's also a chord of restlessness that sits within me, eager to fill the gaps in my mind even if the universe and our fate is against doing so. Maybe, this is a taboo. Something that must remain unexplored, untouched. The complexity of it all must be left unknown, for ignorance is a bliss, they say right? Unfortunately for them, for me, and for you… the gravity that pulls me towards him is too great, too satisfying to not acknowledge. So, how can I, a mere personification of hope, not consider that blonde hair and amber eyes to be the house of the soul I’m searching for?

Treachery? Betrayal? A traitor to my soulmate? None of those matters. 

Not when you make me feel different, Atsumu.