#jk if I drank that much I really would die

[simplyghosting]

Me, as a kid: ewww Dr Pepper is gross >:0

Me, as a adult: if I don’t consume 2liters of Dr Pepper this instant I will die

[clownprincehoeshi]

PARALLEL HEARTS- CHAPTER 8

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. But it seems that the universe really loves you this time. Will Jeon Jungkook notice you?

Pairing: fem reader x ?idol

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Warnings: for all chapters-Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Stalking-Harrassment-Cheating-Death mentions Minors don’t interact!

Word count: 4704

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Don't forget rebloging is important and much apreciated! <3

Of course headache was your best friend the next day

Y/N: Fucking hell, I drank so much. Why did you let me do it? Some friends I have.

Hana: But it was really funny watching you drunk. And you’re a good drunk, fun, friendly, funny, clingy. Just like someone else I know.

Y/N: Shut uuup! I need water and pills.

Hana: Let’s get out of bed first, drink water, take something for the headache and get ready. We’re having breakfast out. I know a new cute place that opened.

Y/N: Damn, are you like a city tour guide but for places you can eat and hang out? I never ever in my life had went out this much as I have since I met you.

Hana: You love it though, even if you’re such an introvert.

Y/N: Hehe, you caught me.

You two were out in no time, holding hands and walking quietly towards the breakfast place.

When you got there, everything was in shades of pink and white. Really cute, you thought. You ordered some delicious sandwiches and pancakes, along with some cocoa-milk.

Y/N: Am I in heaven now? What is going on, how did I die?

Hana: It’s so good, right?

Y/N: Huh! Yah-huh. It’s so ridiculous. I need to bring the guys here.

Hana: You know, I was thinking that I miss the ’97 crew get together and we all know what happened and how we kind of stopped doing our regular dinners. I really miss hanging out with my cousin like that and it’s the only time when I get to see him, with him being so busy. SO..

Y/H: Babe, you can meet them if you want, I don’t mind.

Hana: What if JK or Mingyu are there? I really don’t want to speak to them, especially fucking Jungkook.

Y/N: Well, I don’t know. I guess you can just ignore him? And you can be friendly with Gyu, he’s not horrible. And the rest of the guys are all right.

Hana: You think JK and Mingyu talk?

Y/N: Not sure. Last time I saw them, they were not on good terms, and Gyu thinks JK is my stalker. But you never know, they were really good friends before I showed up.

Hana: Yeah, I guess you’re right. We’ll see, I will come with gossip though.

Y/N: Come on, let’s head home. Tomorrow we’ll have a really busy day at work with all those meetings and planning.

Hana: I really think they’ll announce we got the Seventeen project.

Y/N: I don’t know if I’m excited about it.

Next day comes around and it was like Hana said. Your company got the new Seventeen project. You’ll be working close with them for their new album and world tour. One whole year of touring all over the world, wow. They gotten really big.

Hana: Look, they have a bunch of concerts in Europe. We should definitely go to some. We might need to be there with the staff anyways for the stage, settings and styling. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

Y/N: I mean… I guess. I would see him too much for my liking, but things maybe will be better by then. The company will sure send a team to some of the venues for sure.

This was unexpected. You knew how things worked in this business. If you worked with an artist and they had concerts, your company needed to send people there. At least I’ll travel.

Weeks of intensive work followed. Planning and preparations, filming, shootings. Mingyu came back from his hiatus and when you met on the set or in meetings you kept it short and civilised.

They had their comeback now and album promotions. Some tv shows here and there, some live performances. You were there with your team for most of them. Tour was right around the corner and you felt pretty excited.

You, Hana and 3 other people from your company were supposed to be with the group in most of the locations. You never travelled so much and you couldn’t wait for it. All those cities, all that culture and history. You were always fascinated by it.

The day of the departure was here. You woke up at 2 am to get ready. You had 2 big suitcases filled with clothes and personal stuff. You made yourself look pretty and presentable, you will be flying together with the members and some of the staff.

Most of the other staff were already at the location. First stop, L.A. You’ve never been to the US and you were shitting your pants right now.

The airport was crazy, filled with fans, photographs, journalists, staff, suitcases on top of suitcases. This was crazy.

The company finally got a private plane for the boys, they became too successful now and they really need privacy more than ever. No more crazy fans stalking them into their flights wherever they went.

Plane took off and in no time the crew brought breakfast for everyone. You sat next to Hana and in front of you were Jun and Minghao.

Jun: Well this is going to be a long ass flight, so we should eat and sleep.

Minghao: You’re always sleeping.

Y/N: He’s a cat, of course he sleeps a lot.

Minghao: BTW, Y/N, I am really happy to have you with us on this tour.

Y/N: Oh? Why?

Minghao: You’re the only one that doesn’t get shy when I flirt with them.

Y/N: You don’t know that, maybe I get shy but I hide it really well.

Minghao: Naaahh, I know you. Not even a small blush on your cheeks and you never fluster, you always have a comeback. I like you.

Jun: Whoah, what the hell man? You trying to seduce my bestie right in front of my croissant?

You all started my laugh at Jun’s face, he was stuffing his mouth with croissants, barely able to form coherent words, crumbs falling in the air.

You could see Mingyu over Jun’s shoulder, looking your way. He was smiling, but his eyes were sad. You thought your feelings for him were not as strong. You were even sure you were not in love with him anymore, you were not feeling sad when you saw him now. You were not feeling that punch in your stomach, knowing he was not yours anymore.

Finally, things felt normal. And you thought Jungkook moved on too, since the stalking ended. No weird messages or phone calls in the middle of the night, no more dark shadows following you. Things were good.

Things were really good.

Minghao: So how’s your love life lately, Y/N?

Y/N: You trying to make me choke on my food?

Minghao: Why? That bad?

Y/N: Let’s say I am content with being single for the rest of my life.

Jun: See what I mean? She acts like an old fart and she’s not even 30 yet. I keep telling her that love will hit her in the face so hard she won’t be able to say no.

Minghao: Come ooon Y/N! Why are you being so stubborn?

Y/N: Why Hao. Might you have a proposal for me? You like me, like me? You wanna wine and dine me?

Minghao: I would if I were single.

Y/N: You have a girlfriend?

Minghao: Yeah, it’s recent. We’re trying to see if we’re compatible, not rushing anything.

Y/N: Awww, that’s sweet, I’m happy for you, really.

Minghao: And here I thought you wanted to date me.

Hana: Hahaha, no. She loves to flirt, plus she likes someone else.

All 3 of you looked at her in shock, as if you saw a ghost.

Jun: What did you just say?

Y/N: How much did you drink already?

Out of nowhere, Seungkwan appeared.

Seungkwan: Who likes who? I need to know.

Jun: I can’t believe you have been keeping a crush secret from me? You bestie?

Hana: She won’t admit it. But I know. I see everything.

Seungkwan: Y/N! Please, you need to tell us. Do we know the guy? Is he cute?

You rolled your eyes at all of this. Everyone curious, asking questions. DK came too, also curious about your crush. You could also see Vernon looking at you, waiting to hear a name.

But most of all, you could see Mingyu looking right into your soul. He looked so disappointed, no more smile on his face, just all seriousness.

You felt small and ashamed. If you liked someone, it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. And your ex should not be present at this conversation.

In fact, you don’t even know if you like that person or not. You promised yourself you won’t fall in love again, that you’re done with men.

You don’t know what you feel and you surely don’t want to talk about it.

Scoups: What’s going on, why all the fuss there?

DK: Y/N has a crush and she won’t say his name!!!

You saw Mingyu standing up, heading towards the restrooms. And while walking he said: Come on, guys, you’re being annoying. If she wants to tell you who it is, she will. Now leave her be!

You covered your face with both hands, making yourself small in your chair. Thank heavens for Kim Mingyu who rescued you once again. You start to think he might be an angel.

Minghao: Mingyu is right, we’re making her uncomfortable.

Hana: Oh! My bad, I thought it will be funny.

And she wraps her arms around you to apologise. Yup, she’s drunk, you can feel the soju from a mile.

Jun: Let’s go, Y/N, finish your food. You barely touched it. And we’ll talk later, ok?

He takes your hand and gives it a squeeze, along with a bright smile.

Y/N: You always know what to say, Juni.

You get back to your eggs and avocado and while lifting your glass to drink some water, you slowly move your head to your left and you see a very zoned out Hoshi looking at you.

You choke on the water straight away and start coughing. Hana part you on the back and asks if you’re ok, which you nod yes.

After everyone finished with their food, was time to sleep. All lights were turned off, seats reclined. You grabbed your blanket and tried to get some rest. Whenever you heard noises or people walking by, you opened your eyes. And every time you did that, you could see Mingyu looking at you.

Why is he doing this? Just go to sleep, let me be. I don’t want to remember stuff and don’t want to feel something for him again. I know that look, I know what he’s doing.

So your turn on your side to not have him in your line of vision anymore. But now you’re faced with a really adorable human hamster that’s asleep. Those puffy cheeks and that pretty pout makes you smile.

Mingyu catches that and it makes him sad, seeing he’s not the one that makes you smile like that. You’re a fool, Kim Mingyu. Someone will take her from you for good, and that might happen faster than you think.

This flight felt like a week. You couldn’t wait to get to your destination and get to work, to get your mind away from…stuff.

After the landing, the staff got out first, and went towards the exit and the company cars that were waiting. The members got out last and received a mini bus for their ride to the hotel.

The company had rented a few floors of the hotel and brough extra security. No strangers were allowed to get to the floor where you were all staying.

The rest of the day was for a quick meeting with everyone to let them know the schedule for tomorrow, then free time. Jun texted you after the meeting.

Jun: Hey, pookie! Let’s have some takeout in Hoshi’s room in one hour. He’ll order some Japanese and Italian, we’ll have plenty of food. Bring Hana too. Room 504.

Y/N: Ok, Juni.

Y/H: Wife, we’re having dinner with the guys in one hour.

Hana: Ok, I’ll get out from the shower in 10.

Ou rush to pick some cute comfy clothes to wear. Hana come out of the shower and sees you’re trying to pick an outfit. You already have a pair or sweatpants and a t shirt.

Hana: Girl, no! You want to be sexy too, not just homeless. Keep the pants, take this deep neck top. He’ll drool.

Y/N: Who?

Hana stops and looks at you straight in the eyes.

Hana: Drop the act. I know and you know who I’m talking about. You like him.

Y/N: No I don’t!

Hana: Just wear this and shut up. And if you don’t wanna tell me right now fine, but you will speak soon.

You try to drop the conversation, you really just wanna focus on work while on this tour, not on boys.

One hour later you’re in Hoshi’s room. There’s also Jun, Hao, Wonu and Joshua.

Hoshi: We have cola, soju and beer. What do you girls want?

Hana: We’ll have soju and beer.

You sit at the big table that they moved in the middle of the room and grab a plate. Jun tells you to try some pasta, because it seems it’s delicious and you love pasta.

When you take your look away from Jun and look at your plate, Hoshi is putting some pasta on it, along with some sushi.

Y/N: Oh..thanks.

He lifts his face and gives you a bright smile, smiling with his whole face.

The food is really good and the soju goes smoothly with it. You feel a little tipsy. You see Joshua with red cheeks, he must be a bit drunk already. Hana is getting there too.

Hana leans in to whisper into your ear: Damn, how are all these guys so freaking hot? How do you do it? Now falling for one of them each day.

Y/N: Keep your voice down, silly, and stop perving.

Hana: OK, but I only promise I won’t perv over your man.

You pinch her thigh and she squeaks loud, making you laugh at the funny sound.

Joshua: What are you girls whispering there? Are you talking about boys?

Hana: In fact, yes. We are.

Joshua: Uuuhh, do tell. I love me some boys gossip from my girls.

Y/N: Hana, stop it, they don’t need to know every thought that’s going trough your mind when you’re drunk, and btw, have you been drunk all day?

Joshua: I know! Let’s play a game!

Hana: Yeeeeeesss!

Wonu: What game, Shua?

Joshua: Ok, it’s important we keep it real and honest, ok? So we take turns, I will ask the person on my right a question. They can answer or they need to take a shot.

Wonu: Ok, let’s do it. I have nothing to hide.

Hoshi: Sure, why not.

Joshua: Ok, I will start then. Hao, are you in love with your girlfriend?

Hao: Umm…not yet. But getting there, me thinks. Wonu, what’s the most annoying thing your roommate Mingyu did in your apartment?

Wonu: Ugh, don’t get me started. He’s always so clumsy, but one time he dropped my phone inside his soup bowl.

Josua: Ok, we’re on a good track here, but let’s keep it interesting, yeah? Wonu, your turn.

Wonu: Hoshi, when are you going to tell your crush you like her?

All it can be heard is “whaat” and “uh”.

Minghao: Well now this is news. Since when and why didn’t I know?

Hoshi: Guys, it’s nothing. Wonu is exaggerating.

Wonu: But answer the question though!

Hoshi looks at his hands, then yells all of a sudden: I don’t know, ok?

Joshua: Omg, my little brother likes a girl. I’m happy, Hosh, about time. It’s been so long since…you know.

Hoshi: Yeah yeah, let’s move on. Jun, have you ever thought about being more than friends with Y/N?

Jun looks at him scandalised, opens his mouth in the shape of O and puts his hand over his chest.

Jun: My God, that’s so inappropriate to think about my sister. My bestie. Nooo. Buuut, we made a pact that if when we’re 40 and single, we’ll just marry each other. Now my dear friend Y/N, light of my eyes, kimchi in my rice. I have a really really important question for you.Do I know your crush?

Y/N: Why is everyone so obsessed about my love life?

Minghao: You have a love life?

Y/N: No.

Jun: Come on, bestie, tell me. Or you wanna drink?

Joshua: Let me voice my opinion here. After much thinking, I came to the conclusion that if you drink, it means Jun knows your crush. So either way, it’s better to answer.

Y/N: What a nice guy are you, Josh.

Joshua gives the biggest closed mouth smile ever, he knows he caught you.

Y/N: Ok, Jun. You know the guy. Happy now?

Jun: Yes and no, because now I am fucking curious.

Hana: Let’s continue the game, I wanna play too.

Y/N: Hana, do you like any guy from this room?

Hana: Fuck, am I allowed to say I like all of them?

Joshua: You say what you want, boo.

Hana: Awww Joshua called me boo. Now Josh, are you maybe looking for a girlfriend?

Everyone started laughing at how obviously flirty Hana was with Josh.

Wonu: What about the rest of us, Hana? You forgot us so fast?

Hana: Oh, sorry, Wonu. I can have more than one boyfriend. Nobody is left behind.

You get up on your feet and announce you feel sleepy and will head out to your room and you probably need to drag Hana with you, since she’s too drunk.

Also, you’re afraid of more of these questions that you don’t want to answer and also you don’t want to drink yourself under the table.

You said good night to the guys and headed to your room you shared with Hana. You decided you’re both to drunk to shower, so you changed into pj’s and got into bed. You’ll shower in the morning.

Next day you had breakfast in the room and then you were ready for work.

You needed to be at the stadium where they will perform for 2 days in a row. The set needed to be perfect. Meanwhile, the boys have the net 2 days packed with shootings and live shows and interviews.

2 shows down, 4 more to go in the US, then off to Brazil and Argentina. Days were passing really fast, since work meant around 10 hours a day. You got to spend time with the guys rarely, everyone was tired at the end of the day and wanted to just relax in bed and sleep.

You had a little break once in Europe. You arrived in Spain first and most of the members and staff decided to spend their one week break here. The weather was perfect and you had beach.

It was your first time in this country and you just wanted to see the architecture, the art, taste the food and visit some national parks and wildlife.

You were with Jun the night when you arrived in Barcelona and you were trying to decide your week plan, while taking a walk to the beach that was close to the hotel.

Jun: I think we should stick together. At least the two of us and probably Hana won’t want to leave you and go with someone else.

Y/N: True. But who else will join us?

Jun: I think Hao will chose to stay in the city and do nothing, he wants to chill. Jeonghan probably the same. Dk and Wonu I am sure they said they wanna visit the city and take photos. Mingyu might join them, don’t know. Woozi will probably stay inside most of the time, he’s really tired. Vernon for sure will come with us, he likes to learn new stuff. Are you brother and sister?

Y/N: We might be. Ok, so we are 4 so far.

Jun: I’ll ask the others tonight and will let the managers know how many we will be for the little excursion, because we will need a van or minibus. Take some clothes with you and stuff you need for a few days.

In the morning, you take your little suitcase and rush for the elevator. Hana is already in the minibus in front of the hotel. When you enter the bus, all the chairs are filled, except one in the back.

Hoshi: Here, I saved the seat for you!

He gets up to help you with your luggage and then you sit down. Today you’re going to a remote beach in a small village. You’ll visit wineries, olive trees and will rent a house on the beach and spend the next 2 days there.

You see Hoshi barely keeping his eyes open, he must be very tired.

Y/N: Here, use my pillow and you can lay down here, our seats are wide enough. I’ll put the pillow in my lap, ok?

Hoshi: Really? Would you do that for me?

Y/N: Of course, why wouldn’t I?

He just shrugs and puts his head on the pillow in your lap and tried to sleep. The drive will take around 2 hours.

He falls asleep quite fast. Meanwhile, you don’t know what to do with your hands. Should you put them over his shoulder? You look at his face and he looks so peaceful and so pretty and your right hand goes to move a strand of hair off his face. Then you keep it over his head, petting him gently.

Your left arm goes over his shoulder, kind of like keeping him safe. It feels nice, you admit to yourself. You see Jun turning his face over his shoulder to look at you and his eyes go big at the scene.

He looks at you for a few moments and then he nods with a serious look on his face. What does he mean with that? This guy is weird, I swear.

You had fallen asleep too, you can just sleep anywhere, anytime and in any position. When you wake up, your arm is wrapped around Hoshi’s torso, he’s laying on his back now. His both hands are holding onto your arm for dear life.

You decide to wake him up since you heard the other say you’re going to arrive in 10 minutes.

Y/N: Soonyoungie!

You whisper softly close to his face.

He whines a little, not wanting to wake up.

Y/N: Come on, Soony, it’s time to wake up. We are almost there.

He pouts, eyes still closed.

Hoshi: But it’s so nice here.

Y/N: Yeah, that’s why you need to wake up to admire the view.

Hoshi: Here. It’s nice here.

He says, as he pulls on your arm tighter around him.

Oh.

Is he saying it’s nice here with me? Like this?

Then he opens his eyes and looks at you, smiling so adorably. In seconds, he lifts himself from your lap, thanking for letting him sleep and taking care of him.

He really left you speechless, and this is not something that ever happened with him. You don’t know what to say, it’s like the cat got your tongue. You just stare at him.

Hoshi: What? Do I have sleep marks on my face?

Y/N: NO, it’s nothing.

You really needed to move your eyes away from that adorable face so you opted to look over the windows and admire the scenery outside.

You reached a small road between olive trees and you could see a white house at the end. You got off the car, took your suitcases and went inside.

Driver: This is a family house we rent to tourists. Has 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, pool in the backyard, garden, a big grill, everything you need. You reach the beach with 10 steps. The sunrise is really beautiful here. See you in 2 days!

It was easy to reach anywhere in the village, it was small and you would just walk for a few minutes.

Seungkwan: Let’s choose the rooms. We are 7, and we have 4 rooms. One person will sleep alone. Any takers?

Jun: Yes, please!

Seungkwan: I guess the girls will have one room and they can choose first. The boys will play rock paper scissors like usual. I’ll share a room with Vernoni

Joshua: And that leaves me and my bro Hosh. Nice!

You and Hana choose the pretties room that has a beach view. You go to inspect the property and you see they even have some gym equipment, a big ass tv in the living room, and outside they have a veggie garden.

You open the gate that takes you to the beach and start walking towards it. It’s been a while since you’ve had your feet in the sand.

You think it’s beautiful and you think Hao would have loved it here, for his meditation and tea ceremony.

You hear steps behind and Jun’s voice.

Jun: There you are. Wow, isn’t this place paradise? It’s just your style.

Y/N: You’re right, it’s how I would live forever. I feel so happy now that I could cry.

You sit there on the sand for a few minutes, listening to the waves and the birds.

Jun: He’s the best guy I know.

You look at him confused, trying to figure out who is he talking about. But then you know.

Y/N: Why are you telling me this?

Jun: You know why. You have doubts. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s something. But it’s better to let it be something than to regret it after it can’t be anything. You don’t need to push yourself to feel or to act on it. Just let it happen. If it will happen. But. He really is the best, in case you had doubts about that. He’s genuine, honest, kind and passionate. If something is to happen, know that he has a lot of love to give. Maybe too much, and it can overwhelm the wrong person. He's been trough some shit with his ex, since then he just shut himself just like you. But I see something there.

You look at Jun and he can see your eyes are glassy. He just leans over and hugs you.

Jun: It’s going to be ok, you’ll see.

Y/N: What if it’s not?

Jun: Then I’ll still be here for you to help you get up. That’s what we do, always try.

Y/N: I love you, you’re the best!

Jun: Love you too! Let’s go inside, they started cooking, I think it might even be ready by now.

Reaching the house, everyone is doing something to help with the cooking or setting up the table.

Y/N: Where is Vernon?

Joshua: He might be sleeping.

Seungkwan: Yeah, he went upstairs to the bedroom.

Y/N: What are you guys making?

Johua: We are making some kimchi fried rice and we also have some pork belly.

Y/N: Ok, I’ll make some salad.

You go into the garden to pick up some veggies for your salad. On your way there you bump into Hoshi and he stops and looks at you suspiciously.

Hoshi: Have you been crying?

Y/N: Why?

Hoshi: Your eyes are red and glassy. Are you ok?

Y/N: I’m fine, just had a chat with Jun at the beach.

Hoshi: Did he say something to upset you?

Y/N: Nooo. Do you know Jun? ha!

He comes closer and hugs you. He hugs you so tight that it feels like you’ll stick like that forever. It’s like he knew what you needed. A hug.

And you wrap your arms around him and hug him back. You stay there for a minute, until you realise where you are and what you’re doing and you pull away.

Hoshi: Where were you going?

Y/N: To pick up veggies from the garden.

Hoshi: Ok, I am in charge of the grill. You’ll be ok, yeah?

You nod and you walk towards the garden with your heart beating 1000 miles/hour.

[jimlingss]

hi Kina! may I make a request for a sort of sci-fi au? yn dies but when she opens her eyes, some unfamiliar yet familiar dude takes off his vr goggles and goes “hEy hOw wAs iT?” maybe Joon? or JK? I don’t really mind

↳ Awaken Again

2k || 50% Fluff, 50% Angst || Kim Namjoon

You die with some regrets.

But mostly without. It was a rather unremarkable, mundane life but a happy one where you feel general satisfaction for the choices and decisions you made. Above all, you feel tired. Oh so tired. You’re ready to sleep for a long while. Perhaps forever.

So you surrender to the darkness. Not sure what’s next.

……………………

Suddenly, there’s a burst of light.

It floods your vision, stirring your senses, and a comfortable weight around your head that you didn’t know was there is lifted. A gasp is stolen from your lips, filling your lungs and you realize you’re alive again. It’s hard to see, for your vision to adjust as your lashes flutter, and you squint.

But it eventually does adjust and you see again. Namely, you discover a certain man with sparkling irises and a dimpled smile in front of you.

“Hey.” His voice is deep, soft. It ignites an emotion stowed deep in your heart. “How was it?”

Your mouth draws open and your feeble voice croaks out, “Namjoon?” 

His smile fades as he searches your expression and you fall out of the chair, frantically grabbing onto the sleeves of his white lab coat. You pull him into a hug and cry out, “Oh my god, Namjoon!” 

He’s stiff against your body, not returning your embrace, but you don’t pay any mind. You’re too overwhelmed from seeing him again. “Is-Is this heaven?” you ask while shutting your eyes and savouring the moment. 

“What? No.” He looks over his shoulder and you don’t know where to.

You pull away but keep him in your reach, your hands curled into his clothes. “But if this isn’t heaven, then how is this possible?”

Namjoon’s hands wrap around your shoulders and he takes a step back, lowering his height slightly to have his eyes connect to yours. “Y/N, do you know where you are?”

“What?”

“You’ve woken up to reality,” he enunciates gingerly and carefully. “You were just in a VR simulation for the past few years. We’ve been watching you.”

You don’t understand. It doesn’t make any sense. 

He’s scaring you. “What are you talking about? What’s going on, Joon?”

Namjoon leans back and looks towards the glass window. “Subject two has no recollection of past memories and no grasp of reality,” he deadpans in a monotone. “Will need monitoring for further investigation of potential symptoms and ramifications of simulation 230616.”

He turns back to you, a large distance kept between your bodies. As if you were strangers to each other. He merely says, “Everything will be okay.”

It does little to reassure you. And the Namjoon that you’re familiar with is nothing but reassuring.

Instead of dying, instead of surrendering to the darkness, you’ve been placed in a room with stark white floors, walls, a bed and a tinted window. Fluorescent lights burn your lids and you feel frightened, but it’s coming back to you. Slowly.

You cradle yourself, murmuring, “I am Y/N L/N.” 

They said you were placed in a simulation. “I am twenty eight.” The ninety years you lived wasn’t real. 

“I am a software engineer and scientist at Realtion.” 

You recall some parts as if they were distant memories of your childhood. Blurred. Faint. But even then, they’re merely fragments of a whole mirror, puzzles of a much larger piece. You remember being excited after you were picked to be one of the first to test the simulation. You remember getting into the chair, remembering placing the headset over your head and covering your eyes. You remember the countdown of a smooth, dulcet voice — the same one that had greeted you when it was all over.

The door opens and you jolt.

The person that enters is the same one you’ve been thinking about. 

Namjoon ducks his head to get in. “I don’t know why they make these goddamn doors so small.”

You smile unintentionally. But it’s easy to relax when it’s him.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting,” he says.

“Interrupting what? I’m being monitored like a lab rat. There’s nothing for you to interrupt.” To prove your point, you open your arms to your surroundings. It’s pretty obvious what they think about you considering the walls and floor are plush. This isn’t any different from a padded cell save for the few furniture pieces.

Namjoon shuts the door and gives you an incredulous expression. “Don’t be like that. They’re just worried.”

“Of my psychological state? Yeah.” You lean against the wall, seated on your bed. “Might be normal though considering I thought that simulation was my reality and I barely remember anything of my actual reality.”

He snorts. “The simulation has a few kinks, but we can iron it out. It might be a bit too immersive.”

You deadpan, “You think?”

Namjoon grins and takes a seat on the uncomfortable white chair by the desk. “It’s good to see you returning to yourself. Everyone’s missed you, Y/N.”

You hum a low note, looking away. 

It’s hard to cope and you’re still traumatizing on multiple levels, but that doesn’t mean your entire personality will suddenly up and vanish. If anything, you know you’re being rather snippy towards everyone — that you’re taking out your anger on them even though it’s unwarranted. It’s not like they were the ones who forced you to step into the simulation. It’s not like they knew this would happen.

But that doesn’t mean you aren’t upset.

Everything you lived for, everything you loved, your entire life — it’s been a lie. A virtual reality.

“Why are you here?” you ask after the silence is prolonged.

“I just wanted to check up on you.”

You pause. “How many.”

“How many…?”

You look back at him, gaze meeting his. “How many people were watching?”

Namjoon hesitates, but he answers you. “Just three. Me, Jimin and Hoseok.”

A scoff emits from your throat and you roll your eyes. You can’t believe all of the private moments in your life were being observed and recorded by others the entire time. You really were a lab rat and you still are.

“It’s confidential, Y/N,” Namjoon says. “You know that. Nothing unnecessary will be written in the final report.”

“It’s still intrusive,” you spit and soften, knees pressed against your chest as if physically curling into yourself is all the protection you have left. “It’s just….it’s just hard to cope with.”

“I know,” he murmurs gently.

“I don’t think you do,” you bite back. “I lived this entire life, this full life and to know everything was just a figment of my imagination, that nothing was real, that we—” You interrupt yourself. “Never mind.”

You know if you get too upset and your blood pressure spikes, a whole team might run in. Or maybe they already know Namjoon’s in here with you.

“You don’t need to worry about it,” he pipes up, reassuring but in the moment you want it least. “The world you were in, it was constructed by your subconscious. You couldn’t control it. And relationships are built on the people who are close to you.”

There’s a moment of quiet. You hope he doesn’t say it, but he does—

“So it’s only natural that we ended up married and with kids and all that.”

You scoff. 

There’s an array of emotions that overwhelm you. Hurt that Namjoon could brush off sixty years of your marriage like that and what was so entirely real to you. Mortified that others saw how your subconscious built an intimate relationship with a colleague of yours. Confused at what you feel, how you yearn for the man across the room who you once called your dear husband— but it wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.

So these feelings aren’t real.

Right? 

“If it’s only natural, then how come we’re not together in this ‘reality’.” It’s a bold question, but there’s no point in reserving yourself. You’ve already lived ninety years, so you know what kind of regrets are born in the face of hesitation and miscommunication. Confrontation is easy after so much experience. “You saw everything, didn’t you? You watched it all?”

Namjoon is quiet. “I did.”

“Then what do you think?”

You want to ask him how he felt about it. If he viewed that life with cold eyes and an impassive mind or if he possibly felt something, even as a bystander. 

“Was our relationship really just a wild part of my subconscious, Namjoon?”

The hurt you feel burrows deeper when he turns away from you in an extended silence. Your lips part, about to tell him to go away, so you don’t confuse the simulation with reality. But he beats you to the punch—

“It was my fault,” Namjoon murmurs and your head whips up to him. Your gazes connect. “That night before you were going into the simulation, I said something I shouldn’t have.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I….I knew you were going into the simulation for two years, so I thought I’d take my chance and if the outcome was bad, I would’ve been gone by then. I was an idiot. I didn’t know this would happen, that it would affect your subconscious so much.”

You slide off your bed, brows furrowed. “What did you say to me?”

Silence.

You come closer to him, raising your voice— “What did you tell me, Namjoon?!”

“I said I couldn’t stop thinking about you!” Namjoon’s eyes are darkened with regret, burning with embarrassment and shame. “We went out for drinks and I drank too much and I told you that if you wanted me to, I would wait for you. Until this was done.” He pulls a hand through the blonde strands of his hair, and he gets up from his spot. “There’s no point. You don’t remember it.”

But you grab him before he leaves, clutching the sleeve of his white lab coat. “What did I say?”

Desperation aches deep within you. A curiosity that eats at your brain.

Namjoon looks back at you and relays the memories you don’t have. “You said I shouldn’t wait for you, but if things don’t change and the timing is right, you’ll give your answer when you get back.”

Your breath hitches in your throat. Namjoon searches your expression. It’s an intimate moment without interruption where you don’t care who might be watching or if there’s someone on the other side of the window. It feels like there’s just you and Namjoon. All that really matters.

Yet he forces you to let go of him. “I don’t want you to get confused with the simulation and reality.”

“Does it matter if it was real or not? What I feel is real. What I feel for you is real,” you spit as your annoyance surges. “Everyone keeps telling me what’s real or fake but no one wants to acknowledge that my experiences were real to me! Isn’t that the point of the simulation?!”

Namjoon’s eyes have widened. Your breathing is ragged, chest falling and rising. “I spent sixty years with you, Namjoon! We grew old together. And do you know what my first thought was when I saw you again?” You laugh bitterly. “‘Thank god he’s here, I can be with him again’.”

There are tears in your eye, welling up and blurring your vision. 

Namjoon doesn’t utter a single word. He doesn’t make any excuses, any rebuttals, and doesn’t argue. He stops invalidating what you feel and instead closes the distance and embraces you.

His arms wrap around your shoulders and you lean into him, savouring it and shutting your eyes.

You know Namjoon’s worries have merit to it, that the others will think the same as he does. They’ll think you’re confusing the simulation with reality, that your ability to differentiate has weakened, that your feelings were manifested and nurtured by the simulation. They’ll think this isn’t real. 

But time will tell.

You’ve already stood the test of time with Namjoon once. You have a feeling, a second time won’t be difficult.

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Julian’s playlist:

Arabella - Arctic Monkeys

He’d liked it in a straight boy football beer way rather than indie kid record player way, they give of drastically different vibes you know??

Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

More Arctic Monkeys, it’s honestly a miracle Julian didn’t live to see them form cause God he would be too powerful upon hearing this song.

Do It All The Time - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Again self explanatory, I feel like all the songs I chose for Julian are super basic but I’m feeling stressed today and needed someone simple to do XD

Girls and Boys - Blur

I feel like I include this song in most like fuck boy playlists of which Julian is obviously a part. It almost definitely wasn’t meant in this way but it clearly has bi vibes these days which is very Julian. Jk but like it’s just like a fuck boy bastard atmosphere which I fully vibe with like same Julian we’re both bastards. And what??

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco

I know Julian was married and had a kid and everything so certainly wasn’t a bachelor but because he kinda lived that life still it feels like his death was super influenced by his lifestyle.

The Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience

See above XD

I’ll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men

I love Julian singing this, it’s such a brilliant scene and Mary’s “I don’t want him toooo” is so fucking funny to me!! I want more of the ghosts singing in the next season I think it’s really fun.

Womanizer - Britney Spears

As much as I would murder Julian on sight, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t go there you know…

Country House - Blur

If you know the lyrics, it’s incredibly basic and self explanatory but here are some lines to prove my point: “City dweller, successful fella. Thought to himself oops I’ve got a lot of money. Caught in a rat race terminally”, “I’m paying the price of living life at the limit” “He lives in a house, a very big house in the country”. That’s my explanation.

London Calling - The Clash

I mean it’s the song that’s always used to convey the idea of someone being rich and successful in London, like it’s played with every single rich white boy rocking up to London ready to make a fortune.

you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish

Another song that would make Julian too powerful, please never let that man hear this song. But it gives me Moriarty vibes cause of that line (I haven’t seen Sherlock in years so can’t really remember it) and yeah Julian gives of similar vibes but less consulting killer and more war criminal you know??

Let Down - Radiohead

Basically about watching people in a pub try and hide the empty emotions which I’m obsessed with (I bet you guys can’t figure out what my favourite band is, I’m sure I’ve included them in every playlist tbh). Politics is such an empty industry and everybody involved in any capacity is literally half deceased inside already, you look at them and can see there is simply nothing left behind those eyes *shudder*.

Blah Blah Blah - The Oozes

I adore The Oozes, I think they’re so cool so I obviously had to include this cause it’s basically about the idea of the Tories being scumbags and quote “not a sweet boy” which I think is very Julian. I adore Julian so so so so much, he’s a brilliant character and I love him to pieces but I swear to God if I saw him in real life I would bang his fucking teeth into his pissing Tory head and then reach down his throat to pull them back out again. He’s a bastard and I love him!!

FOR YOUR LOVE - Måneskin

“I wanna leave you alone in the middle of the night”. Yeah there we go.

Die in the Summertime - Manic Street Preachers

I think this is my favourite Preachers song just because the foreshadowing for what was about to happen to Richey is just???? But yeah let’s return to Julian, it’s basically about the lead singer’s idea that it’s better to die in the prime of your life rather than let things go downhill (summertime refering to adolescence, spring being youth, autumn middle age adulthood, winter elder years) so yeah I think very Julian cause he partied and fucked and drank and did drugs and then died prematurely.

Toxic - Britney Spears

Toxic king

Sex with a Ghost - Teddy Hyde

I had to include this for someone but couldn’t decide who, this felt like the obvious choice.

Charmless Man - Blur

“He thinks he’s educated, airs those family shares”. More Blur, more Blur. These descriptions are shit but like I’m tired and ill sooooo.

Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time - Panic! At The Disco

“Champagne, cocaine, gasoline” like I will scream that line every single time this song plays. Like just so Julian, I can’t wait to find out about Julian’s death cause I just want to be able to laugh at the bastard-man’s antics!! (Irrelevant but apparently this song came out in 2015 but I distinctly remember listening to it aged 12/13 so either my memory of the year 2013 is fucked or someone’s lying about this song.)

Power & Control - MARINA

Bitch is a Tory all he wants is power and control.

[fangirlandiknowit101]

30 BTS writer asks: 1, 12 + 18? ❤️🌻

Almost forgot to add - thanks for asking<33333

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Unsurprisingly, it was for Naruto and Sasuke/Naruto. You can still read it in all its glory, even on ao3 lmao. Might be hard to believe but that fic (Unsuspicious title, don't ask why it's called that I have no explanations) is really the absolute first thing I wrote that counts as a fanfic. I didn't write about other people's fictional characters before that. I didn't really write much outside of school at all, not sure how I lived my life tbh...

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

I answered earlier that I want to write a horse rider au at some point, but what I'd also like is to write a real enemies to lovers fic. Like, actual enemies. But it might be too angsty, so who knows if I'll ever make it lol.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Aah you guys really want that commentary don't you... maybe one day I'll release a version of tswm with director's commentary for the whole thing hahahahaha (jk I'd never have time to do that)

But alright, I'm gonna take the opportunity to comment on another scene in tswm that I definitely this deserves it, it's the reunion scene between Naruto and Sasuke in chapter 49! I hesitated to pick this one bc it's so long and emotional, and also I don't want to add any accidental spoilers... but oh well. Here we go!

[My comments will be in bold text, this starts almost at the beginning of the chapter, right when Sasuke meets Naruto in Kaguya's place.]

He reached out with a hand, the bright light reflecting in the half-moon in his palm. It glowed, and just like that, his hand wrapped around another’s.

Naruto.

He sucked in a breath, lungs desperate for air. Naruto stood before him, chest heaving, hand clutching Sasuke’s so hard he feared it might break.

Their shared beat rang loud in his ears, eyes wide as they drank each other in. The darkness had given way to white, fuzzy light, their bodies floating, suspended in air.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered, as if afraid to drown out the sound of their connection.

Honestly, I tried my best to make it as painful as possible. That's all I wanted lol. At first I had no idea how to write this scene, but then I just got a feeling and tried to write it in words.

There was no hiding in this place. It was similar to that strange place that seemed to exist between them when they fought, blows connecting, hearts open. Between one breath and the next, it would be gone, their shared hearts lingering long after.

Nothing more poetic than that special place Kishimoto created for them when they exchange blows... extremely gay.

Here, there was only the two of them, the heat of their bodies as Naruto reached for his face.

“Am I dreaming?” Naruto wondered, fingers stroking along Sasuke’s cheekbone. “You look so real…”

They sank down, slowly, until their feet touched solid white. He shivered, the tips of Naruto’s fingers touching his chin, his mouth.

“It could be a dream,” Sasuke said quietly, exhaling as Naruto came closer.

“I can feel your heart,” Naruto murmured, his forehead coming to rest against Sasuke’s temple. “I missed you so much.”

Images flashed before Sasuke’s eyes, impressions of the world from Naruto’s perspective. Menma as the kyuubi. Kakashi, entering through a window. Iruka, hand gentle as he reached over the table.

Sakura, pain drawing her face tight. A mountain of paperwork. Snippets of conversation. The overwhelming pain of loneliness, like walls closing in on him.

He puzzled together enough pieces to make sense of the days since they separated.

Must be convenient to just read each other's minds... I should stop making fun of my own writing. But anyway, I felt very clever when I realized I could skip explanations between them and just let them see each other's memories of the past few days. I think it fits that they could see it through the other person's eyes, all the emotions too. Especially how painful it was for Naruto and how much he was trying to keep it together in front of his friends, and still failing. It gives Sasuke a better understanding of what would have happened if he'd decided to leave after one year passed (and I'm still bitter at Kishimoto for doing that in canon.)

“Naruto,” he sighed, lifting a hand to sift through soft strands of hair, closing his eyes as Naruto pressed into him.

Hearts bared, he felt Naruto’s desperate longing as his own. It mirrored his own pain, the aching emptiness filling his chest. Little by little, the cold was pushed away by warmth, Naruto’s mouth touching his cheek, his jaw, his throat. It burned against his skin, each point of contact erupting into tendrils of heat that seeped into his body.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Naruto confessed, lips shaping the words onto Sasuke’s throat. “I couldn’t go back to you, I-“

Sasuke turned his head, capturing his mouth. The words were lost between their lips, swallowed by the sudden surge of need. Naruto’s arm wrapped around his neck, keeping him in place. A fever caught him, leaving him dizzy and faint. He felt emotions between them like a physical caress, like they swirled in and out of their bodies, like a strong wind playing with fallen leaves.

Pain. Longing. Fear.

Happiness. Comfort. Love.

Naruto kissed him like he’d die if they stopped. He might, for all Sasuke knew.

Don't mind me, I was just crying buckets as I wrote this.

Their hands were still clasped tight, their palms pressed together, keeping their marks in contact. Teeth dug into his lower lip, but he could barely feel the pain over the onslaught of emotion. It was overwhelming, to share Naruto’s heart so fully. Was this how Naruto had felt, when Sasuke had touched him by accident? When Sasuke had shared too much of himself, and Naruto had been unable to give him the same in return.

I think it actually wasn't as overwhelming for Naruto when Sasuke accidentally touched him. This place that Kaguya controls just amplifies things a lot.

No such restraints now.

Their souls were on fire, like chakra flames billowing around their bodies. It was too much to make sense of, and yet it felt as if they’d always been this close, always been one and the same. Naruto fit inside him like a key, like Sasuke was now unlocked, his body no longer keeping him prisoner.

“Naruto,” he breathed out, over and over again, every nerve ending alight as they held each other.

I was listening to this song called Heat Up by Giant Rooks as I wrote this (that's where the chapter title comes from and honestly the lyrics are just *chef's kiss*) and I really tried to use as much metaphor as I could, idk if that makes it sound boring haha but for once I was definitely thinking very hard about every single sentence. And I tried to make it as "alive" as I could, so you'd feel it rather than have it described to you.

An eternity later they calmed down, mouths sliding lazily over each other, heartbeats finally finding their shared rhythm. Their foreheads pressed together, Sasuke’s eyes fluttering open to meet deep blue, their usual strength faded into self-doubt.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, running his fingers through Naruto’s hair, thumb tracing the shell of his ear. “Don’t hide from me, not here.”

Aww look at Sasuke, so in tune with his emotions. He really is an all or nothing kind of guy. If they already share everything in this place, there's no point in having secrets. Besides, his worst fear is Naruto losing confidence because of something he said or did.

Naruto let out a sharp breath, lifting their clasped hands between their chests.

“I missed you,” he said again, eyes closing in pain. “I’m so happy you’ve been okay.”

So much pain. Sasuke struggled to make sense of it, so much of it reflected inwards, towards Naruto himself. He could understand the longing, the absence of him like a gaping hole. It mirrored his own pain, pain he’d locked inside his heart within a steel cage. It flowed freely now, wrapping around Naruto’s in recognition.

But the rest… Naruto let out a sob, and yet he was smiling. Sasuke pressed another kiss to his lips, unsure of what to say.

I know Naruto did that whole waterfall thing where he embraced his evil side and totally let go of all his negative energy... But you can't tell me he's 100% okay and only happy and never feels pain. When will Konoha start offering therapy... Jokes aside, at this moment in time Naruto is so conflicted. The whole time he's been worried about Sasuke leaving him, and telling himself that Sasuke would be happier in the other dimension, and that logically he should let Sasuke stay, but he absolutely doesn't want Sasuke to leave him. It's the most selfish thing he's ever felt, I think, this need to have Sasuke by his side. And he's got so much on his shoulders, just piling up, everyone relying on him to somehow magically fix the world. And he's afraid of failing, of acknowledging to himself that there are parts of him that aren't ready to shoulder this burden, that he's still hurting, that there's still a part of him that could have become like Menma. He's supposed to be completely selfless but he isn't, and he thinks of that as a character flaw, a personal failure. And that's kind of where his resolution to not become hokage comes from. Because he doesn't think he can remove this selfish parts of him, and so maybe he should embrace them instead.

“Sasuke, it’s so strange…” Naruto started, his words slow, carefully chosen. “You understand Charasuke so well, but Menma… I can’t accept him. And now I realize, he shows the ugliest parts of me. The parts that I’m afraid of.”

They both leaned back a little, to see each other’s faces. Light played over Naruto’s features, blurring him at the edges. Sasuke cupped his cheek, tilting his chin up so that their eyes met. Now that he knew what to look for, he could feel Naruto’s fear.

“It’s always there,” Naruto confessed, raw honesty in his voice. “The fear of losing you. The fear of not being strong enough. The fear of becoming hokage, and failing.”

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, to reassure him, but Naruto shook his head quickly.

Sasuke, on the other hand, he never held himself up to be a good person. He's well aware that he has weaknesses, that he's putting up walls so he won't have to deal with emotions and stuff. But he does believe (a bit blindly) in Naruto, I think. Even though he thinks Naruto won't succeed, it's not because of anything that Naruto does or fails to do. He thinks it's because the world won't follow him, that Konoha isn't capable of change. But he never thought that Naruto would actually give up or have these kinds of doubts.

“Let me say this. I didn’t understand it at first. Menma always rubbed me the wrong way. I know you don’t like him either, but for me… It’s like looking at myself and knowing I gave up.”

He drew in a deep breath, his fingers trembling around Sasuke’s.

“And now, here, I can’t avoid that fear. Because all of it… all of it is for you, Sasuke.” He swallowed, and through the fear, Sasuke saw his determination. “You asked me, if there’s any room in my head for anyone but you. And there isn’t.”

Naruto's brain is 99% Sasuke and 1% ramen, that's just fact. That aside, this might be one of my favorite quotes in the fic.

Frowning, Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek to stay silent. Naruto was working up to something, he could tell, and part of him couldn’t help but think it would end the two of them.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Naruto said, drawing the pad of his thumb over Sasuke’s eyebrow, the touch equal parts reassuring and painful. “I can hear your thoughts, you know. Do you really believe that I would choose anything else over you?”

A lie caught on Sasuke’s tongue. He didn’t want to believe it, but what place did he have by Naruto’s side? How could he be all that Naruto wanted him, needed him, to be? How could he be someone that others would accept walking by his side?

Oh, Sasuke. Always so ready for Naruto to cast him aside. He doesn't want to stand in the way of Naruto's dreams *wipes tear*

“I don’t believe that you would want to,” he replied, eventually. “But maybe you should.”

They stood for a long time, looking at each other. Sasuke felt torn in two directions. He wanted to tell Naruto to never leave him. He wanted to say that he’d accept anything. That he’d remove himself from Naruto’s presence to make the choice for him. That he couldn’t, wouldn’t, stand between Naruto and his dreams.

That he’d known, all along, that the other dimension was only a dream. An impossibility. That he accepted this, and wouldn’t resent Naruto for choosing the village over him.

I think the difference between Naruto and Sasuke here, is that even though they both think the other should maybe leave them for better things, Naruto is much less ready to actually give Sasuke up. Sasuke is more of the martyr type lol.

“You deserve me,” Naruto said, voice dark with conviction. “Don’t you dare think otherwise. Don’t you understand? If you saw what I’ve been doing the past days…”

Naruto lifted their joined hands higher, shifted his grip until he held Sasuke’s palm open in front of himself.

“I thought only of you. I cared only about you. What good is the village to me, if you’re not there?”

His heart felt too heavy in his chest. Naruto’s words rang through his ears, the implication behind them ensnaring his heart until Naruto held it in his hand, too.

“I don’t want any of it, if you’re not with me.”

Sasuke lowered his eyes. He couldn’t allow himself to give in. He’d already given so much, and although he knew that Naruto would have this, too, it was too much in this moment.

“Sasuke… When are you going to recognize that you’re a good person? That even if our relationship hadn’t changed like this, I’d still need you beside me?”

I wanted to write this part so badly... To make Naruto tell Sasuke that he's a good person. That Naruto thinks so, at least. It's one of the first things I thought of for this scene. Not that Sasuke agrees haha.

“Me, a good person?” Sasuke raised his eyebrows, meeting Naruto’s gaze again. He recognized the stubborn glint in Naruto’s eyes, and sighed. “Even if that was true, you’re smart enough to know it’s not enough.”

Slowly, Naruto pulled his hand closer, his grip turning gentle. Sasuke caught himself holding his breath, as Naruto’s lips connected with the mark on his palm.

“You still don’t understand,” Naruto murmured, the movement of his lips tickling Sasuke’s skin. “The past few days, what have you been doing? Caring for the children, when I wasn’t there to do it. Putting Charasuke before yourself, comforting him in the ways he needed you to. Holding yourself together. Trusting me to come back.”

This is where we acknowledge exactly how much Sasuke has changed. Naruto spent the days apart thinking only of Sasuke, even to the point where he was neglecting his friends and duties. Sasuke, on the other hand, stepped up to fill the role he thought Naruto left behind, hiding his pain behind helping others. Ultimately trusting Naruto to hold his promise to come back. Also, I just want them to be soft with each other T_T

Staring at him, Sasuke’s breath caught in his chest at the swell of pride Naruto felt for him. Was it true, that he had changed so much? In Naruto’s eyes, he had. It was startling, to realize how Naruto thought of him. But Naruto had changed too, he thought. They had grown closer, in a way he didn’t think they could have in their own Konoha.

“I think Charasuke is a bit like you,” Sasuke said, lips twitching upwards at Naruto’s affronted look. “He needs physical comfort. I don’t mind giving it to you, and I guess I don’t mind giving it to him either. You both tend to do whatever you feel like, anyway.”

“You used to mind.” Naruto looked serious, reaching out to touch Sasuke’s mouth as if to prove his point. “Suddenly, you didn’t.”

The smile slipped from Sasuke’s lips. Naruto was right. A few weeks ago, he did push Charasuke out of the window. To be fair, Charasuke hadn’t liked him much back then, either, and the circumstances had been very different. He did understand him better now. If Menma represented Naruto’s fears, Charasuke represented everything Sasuke wanted in life. But Charasuke didn’t have Naruto, didn’t have Menma with him either, and maybe that was why Sasuke wanted to be there for him. His connection with Naruto was precious to him, had kept him going, had kept him questioning himself even in his worst moments of darkness. Had given him a reason not to give up on a life that wasn’t filled with pain and hatred.

Naruto made it worth it to change. Was he hoping to help Charasuke change, too?

Spoiler alert... yes you were, Sas.

Perhaps Kaguya had something to do with it, but maybe, even without her influence, he would have reached this point anyway if given enough time. Time they didn’t have back home. It surprised him to realize that Naruto had thought of this already. That he felt selfish for wanting Sasuke to go back with him, when he knew it would be painful.

“You minded when I touched you, too,” Naruto added, as a reminder that they were talking about the two of them.

“I didn’t.” It was easy to confess. “I couldn’t allow myself to accept it, but I never minded. And now…”

Even if Naruto could read most of his thoughts in this space, it was difficult to say the words.

“I was afraid to have more of you. I still am.  Because I know they’ll never accept it.”

Sasuke vs homophobia :( Can't really kill that with a sword. Sasuke was definitely in love with him before they went to the RTN dimension, he'd just buried it so deep that he had no idea it was there or what it was. If you separate love from attraction it's not really gay, is it? (It is)

Naruto kissed him again, desperately. There were so many thoughts swirling between them, a mess of images and emotions overshadowed by the overwhelming fear of losing each other.

Naruto’s guilt, for not being able to reach Menma like Sasuke reached Charasuke. Their worry for each other. The frustration of being forced to wait. Sasuke’s slow realization of how much Naruto meant to him. How much his family meant to him, even a different version of them.

“I can’t be without you again,” Naruto said, swallowing thickly. “There’s so much I want to say and I don’t know how.”

“I’m here,” Sasuke promised. “Any way you want me to be.”

Even though it hurt, knowing the struggle that lay ahead of them, how Naruto had struggled only the past few days.

He wasn’t sure when he’d closed his eyes, but Naruto’s hands holding his face between them made him open them again. His expression was serious, almost solemn.

“I think you’d be happier if you stayed there,” Naruto whispered, searching his eyes. “You can’t deny it. I know they’d take care of you, and I can tell that your bond with your family is important to you. In a different way than ours, but still. I’d forgive you, if you chose them.”

Stop sacrificing yourself, Naruto. I don't like it.

“How could you say that?” Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s wrists, glaring at him. “Even after everything you said about how you can’t be without me, how you’d never choose anything over me, and you still think I would leave you? Even when you can feel my heart, you think I won’t choose you no matter what?”

Sasuke calling him out, as he should.

He knocked their foreheads together, tightening his grip.

“You think I’d choose happiness over you?”

How could he be happy, if Naruto wasn’t there with him? It wasn’t even an option. He cared about Charasuke, that was true. And the other version of Itachi, of Shisui, his family… Even the Sakura of that world. But how could they compare? Losing Charasuke would hurt, but it wouldn’t rip his soul apart. Staying with them would be a life, but it wouldn’t be living. How could Naruto think of himself as selfish, and still be so incredibly selfless when it came to Sasuke? What was he supposed to do, to make Naruto trust him once and for all?

“If I deserve you, why wouldn’t you deserve me in turn?”

Naruto didn’t have an answer to that. Sasuke hadn’t expected him to, and he felt him struggle with the concept. Naruto’s hero complex wasn’t doing either of them any good.

Like, I personally don't like the concept of anyone deserving love or not deserving it. Love is something you give, freely, regardless of how society values the other person. The love you give isn't less worth depending on the person receiving it. But I think the both of them are so traumatized that they need to make peace with this concept. They kind of need to be told - yes, you do deserve love, and I will give it to you. Naruto's hero complex is like... we don't have time to unpack all of that.

“You want to do this the hard way?” Sasuke continued, tone sharp. “I’ll do it with you. I don’t think you’ll succeed but I’ll do it.”

He gathered up all his resolve, all his conviction, pushed aside his own reservations.

“Saying you’ll forgive me… that’s a lie. You wouldn’t. You never would. And I wouldn’t want you to, anyway. If you wanted me by your side and I couldn’t do it, you’d be right to hate me.”

“I could never hate you.”

“Then I’d hate myself.”

Bearing each other's burdens and all that...

Naruto made a face, as if to disagree, but Sasuke felt him smile despite the topic of their conversation.

“What kind of role reversal is this,” he muttered, pressing his thumbs into Sasuke’s cheeks childishly. “I don’t even know why I’m arguing about it.”

“Because you love me.”

They stared at each other. Naruto’s eyes widened in shock, but Sasuke held his ground. What was the point in pretending anything else? It all made sense like this, and perhaps deep down Sasuke had always suspected it, even before he returned to Konoha.

“Y-you can’t just say it out loud!” Naruto spluttered, slapping his hands onto his own face instead, hiding behind them with a groan. “Stop being so smug about it!”

Me, while I wrote this: Yeah, you can't just say that out loud! The pain of being perceived. I am suffering with Naruto.

“I won the argument, didn’t I?”

“Ugh, shut up!”

Feeling lighter, Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto, leaning his cheek against the top of his head, Naruto burying his nose in his neck. He’d deny it when they were back in reality, but he could feel that Naruto wanted the body contact, and he was unable to resist it. It didn’t take long for Naruto to calm down, releasing a huff into Sasuke’s neck.

“Maybe we can just stay in this place forever,” he said, sneaking his arms around Sasuke’s back.

“You’d miss ramen too much.”

If an emotional scene doesn't end with a joke, what are you even doing with your life. But writing them hug was like, releasing so many endorphins. I'm weak to it.

It was strange, to talk and immediately feel every thought behind the words, every emotion on full display. Naruto��s amusement radiated off him, and it was his turn to feel a little smug as he concentrated on everything that Sasuke felt for him.

When Naruto started imagining long days spent in bed, Sasuke rolled his eyes and decided they’d been emotional enough for the time being.

Sasuke like, I can accept the lovey-dovey stuff, but I draw a thick line in front of the bedroom door. He's got some work left to do lol.

Idk if any of this made any sense but... there you have it!

[potterology]

fave dylb scenes bc I can't get over and I’m already rewatching and noticing little things heheee 

- first meeting outside the restaurant. ohh how I love how awkward yet endearing they both were when they finally introduced themselves to one another. rewatching it made me realize that JY was already smitten by SA since the start. (like literally since the start y'all!!! he didn't even know her yet and wanted to stop the car to get SA an umbrella and this was in the first ep!!)

- when JY switched coffee cups with SA bc she spilt her cup and he started drinking it so she can’t refuse even though he doesn’t like coffee. Like he just did it bc he was compelled to do so?? like dude what if she already drank from it??? This scene was so funny to me and I love it cuz I dont think SA is used to being the one taken care of like that so it was just v cute

- when the noona was trying to get them to talk banmal but SA was like oh noooo he’s a superstar. This was cute bc you can actually see that JY was disappointed. Also they keep sneaking peeks at each other lol cute fools 

- waiting for taxi scene- this was so freaking adorable. shows how considerate they both are for each other and it’s so freaking awkward when they both realized they were standing there waiting for each other to get a taxi- but like in the cutest way

- when they were both outside that restaurant and SA asked if JY enjoyed his performance at granny’s house and I think this was the first time someone asked our boy if he likes what he does for a living and you can just tell his heart went soft for her(same dude same)

- spontaneous non-date date. ohh I love the first time they ate together at that beer place. they really started to get to know each other there. the mood and how that scene was filmed was just chef’s kiss~~

- rehearsal room we should be friends scene. when homeboy transitioned from moonlight sonata to happy birthday, y'all knew it was over for SA- god damn I would have swoon over too

- by the river “I wanted to see you” scene- high key JY sucks at communicating but I love how he is just so taken by SA that he just flat out says he misses her and as soon as he says it he was almost shocked himself. so pure

- the midnight call. I MEAN. guys. guys. he wanted to just talk to her and ask her out but tried to be nonchalant about it. ahhh they literally portrayed the first stages of dating so well I'm goo for it !!!!!!

- first walk together in the walkway. this was just so adorable. the almost hand holding. the chemistry!! the shy smiles :’’’) 

- SA’s birthday when she thanked JY for just being there for her. I love how she quietly acknowledges him and it was such an intimate interaction between them. I replay that scene a lot in my head

- when he ran to SA to give her his signed CD. He was so worried about her he forgot about JK lmaooo. Also the fact the he validated her as a violinist when SA was at a very low point... I mean... boyfriend material ugh

- the scene when SA told JY every little thing he does concerns her and that she didn’t want to feel that way about him anymore. As soon as SA said that homeboy PANICKED!!! I don’t even think he knew how much he liked SA until she said that :’)

- the lunchroom scenes 1) when they were teasing each other and 2) when JY announced that they were dating lolol I love how stoic he normally is but for SA he becomes a softie hehe

-ice cream day date; lol when SA won’t let JY tie her shoelaces bc she didn’t want to fall for him lol ok girl

-night ice cream/ stairs date. y'all know already. shit was just adorable. SA going for the kiss. I melted with the ice cream

- when JY asked SA for her handkerchief!!! it’s such a small gesture but they both knew it had a special meaning and I love how it put SA over the moon. (Also let’s include all the other times we see JY actually use that handkerchief- especially after they broke up. like homeboy was holding on to it for his dear life bc it was the only thing he had of SA~~ my fragile heart!!) ps did we ever see SA get a handkerchief from him???? No??? Sbs give me that pls

- when MS was telling JY in the car that SA has only openly confessed liking two things in her life and one them was JY. He was so flustered and couldn’t hide his smile and dimples... bruhhhhh he was full on swoon. Also when JY heard SA say that she really likes JY like he was so proud of himself lmao he’s like “yeah my gf LIKES ME” lolol

- when the lovebirds fought who was gonna clean up the broken glass at JY apartment. I love loveee this one bc SA has been beaten down so much by everyone calling her talentless that she didn’t even consider how important her hands is to her as a musician. And JY being like honey ur a violist and a musician too- UR HANDS ARE PRECIOUS. This was just v touching. Again showing how JY has always considered SA as an equal despite all the shit people say about his gf. luv him :’)

-all the moments JY just stood by SA’s side and held her hand when she needed comfort. I love how he’s just there for her. His silent support was just enough. (One thing that would have been nice is if we saw SA do the same thing, I felt like the writers were almost there but just didn't go all the way which is a shame tbh)

- Their lil day trip to JY’s hometown. I like how JY was so open to SA here. When he proclaimed that he never felt “this way before”  I screamed!! It was at that moment you clearly knew as a viewer that JY never really loved JK. He might have he loved the idea of her, yes. But he never truly loved her the way he loves SA. And his realization of this in that particular episode just made me so so so happy

- Handholding in the bus scene. That shit was so freaking tender bc you can tell how content JY was. He was beyond smitten- homeboy was IN LOVE AT THIS POINT

- when JY dropped SA home. I mean everything about this scene really makes ur heart soft right?? How both of them were beaming? How SA feet probably hurt bc homegirl was wearing heels the whole day and walked another 30 min just so she can spend more time with JY? How she literally ran back to him and JY just had this impression watching her like “my gf is cute af”?? How SA said something along the lines of JY having somewhere to belong to now and you can tell this had a double meaning for him bc at this point he prob considered SA as his home..I was literally mush oh my god. 

-break up scene. I know, v painful- but this was a rare one in kdramaland where I actually thought it was necessary for them to split (still wish it was done earlier but alas I'll take it) It was a graceful and needed breakup. Also when JY pulled out that umbrella for her.... bish it was over for me

- SA’s recital. I MEAN HOW IN SYNC COULD THEY BE. I normally skip the musical performances whenever I watch dramas that are music related- but this show makes it so magical I simply could not. PEAAAKKK ROMANCE

- JY’s recital- when he played that last song I was a big mess cuz we all knew it was dedicated for SA :’’) (I listen to this piece all the time now and im so emo when I hear it bc like god WHEN)

- First I love you scene. JY just going for it and chasing his happiness without caring if SA might reject him. We love to see it

-Second I love you scene. YALL. YALLLLL the way JY just releases his breathe when SA said she can't be friends bc she loves him more than a friend will forever slay me. Kim min jae’s acting here was real good. I love how JY said I love you four times and just went for it. top kissing scene in a krdrama for me hehee 

- dubokki date. lmao at JY with the spicy level. just plain cute

-the quick side by side peek to JY new album in the last episode. the way it showed how their relationship evolved. how he signed it as “for my love song ah” BISH I WANNA DATE A MUSICIAN TOO NOW

- that lil scene where JY wrote SA’s name as the planner bc he knows she works just as hard as the musicians and deserves the recognition. get u a boy who will vandalize a program notice for u :)

- basically all the scenes at the end of ep 16. I wish all of them were longer. I wanted to see more of them dating and happy!!! But I just love how they are both so INTO each other and you can see how happy JY is bc he finally has that person back that understood him since the beginning and it makes you feel so warm knowing they’re each other’s support system ahhhh I love their love !!

- also just all the scenes that JY looks at SA lovingly ~~ which literally happened since ep 1 I mean they are literally heart eyes emoji for each other every time :’)) 

- oh oh OH special shout out to ep 11 when JY just can’t stop holding SA’s hands !! the way he does it is so freaking INTIMATE like if I can only describe how I feel whenever I see compilation gifs of that episode where JY just reaches out and holds SA’s hands so steadily and tightly...it’s literally the most heartwarming thing.. idek how to explain what I’m trying to convey but I just vibe with it so much?? it’s so intimate and romantic.. Kim min jae I will die 4 u my love

[ji-yaaan]

𝕯𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖊 𝕸𝖆𝖈𝖆𝖇𝖗𝖊

A Lilia Vanrouge x Reader Oneshot

Note: Jk guys this is just a drabble I made while I drank a bitter gross black coffee just for kicks :'( Also this is my first time making a fanfic so yes, it's kinda OoF and is probably bad but why not? Emirite???? This is the last braincells I have and I hope y'all enjoy it :'))))))

Mistakes were made under the cut!^~^

It was a peaceful afternoon with the beautiful sunset hues that illuminated your room. Ah..... how nice, the room feels alive again a smile graced your lips, as a silent creak of the door alerted you that someone has come to your room. You knew well who that person is. Just by thinking about him makes your heart flutter. "Lilia, love!" You cheerfully exclaimed at the small fae that stood before you."I'm back, little lamb." he smiled.

A moment of silence passed by, with you and Lilia looking at each other's eyes. Just by the view of the beautiful fae illuminated with rose tinted hues was enough to give you butterflies. Ah..... as expected from my lover! you thought. The two of you basked in the soft light that illuminated your room, how peaceful this moment is...

But that peace was soon broken when the fae said "I'm sorry my love..... I still haven't found the potion yet..... But worry not. I have taken care of the bastard that dares to mock-"

"shhhhhhh" you silenced the fae. "Everything's alright.... but can we talk about more happy things? If I were to die at any moment, I'd like to experience the most happiest moments in life in each passing second!" You jokingly said.

You sigh in dissapointment as you recall of the events that have unfolded a month ago. It was just a normal and happy day for you. You were so excited to visit the Diasomnia Dorm and most importantly, your lover, Lilia Vanrouge. This expedition of you was a normal occurence, rather, a routine that started when you started to like Lilia. But something feels weird, the Diasomnia dorm is awfully quiet today.....Your mind went blank, as a bright light blinded your eyes, you felt a sharp painful sensation in your chest, that caused you to faint.

Now why were you targeted? That is an obvious question to be answered "Because you are closeley affiliated with malleus and I. I didnt know there are still morons in this world that are stupid enough to mess with us, moreover, they harmed you...." Lilia said with anger and pain present in his eyes and a dark expression covering his face.

You woke up in a unfamiliar room, and to your demise, Malleus said the bright light that hit you was a curse resulting eventual death upon the victim. Thankfully, Malleus was there to stop the curse..... But not entireley. Magic can only do so much for a strong ancient curse.

Soon, day went by, weeks went by, with Lilia trying to find the potion to cure his lover, only to be left empty handed each time he comes home. It's an ancient curse that requires a certain potion in order to break it, naturally with ancient curses, the cure is very hard to find. That's why in the few remaining days of your life, you wished to make the most of it.

Waking up was difficult due to the fact that you knew you could die any momet, it was a happy and scary feeling..... You were thankful you woke up from slumber, but at the same time, you were afraid that you might dissapear from the world in any moment..... It sure was a mind baffling experience.

But now, you feel like you've reached your limit. It feels like your nightmare is finally taking form. Your eyelids are growing heavy from strain, your body is starting to feel numb minute after minute, and eternal slumber threatens to devour you in any moment. But there you are, staring straight at Lilia, the most precious person in your life. You feel alive again.

"(Y/n) I love you" Lilia said as your lips curl up to form a weak smile "I know..... But i love you more! hehe" Your knees started to feel weak and you fell unto the ground. Your hands started to feel numb as you cough up blood.

As odd as it sounds, this occurence is normal now, due to the fact that you are walking in the border between life an death.

The crimson blood that laced your fingers made you chuckle, it reminded you of Lilia's beautiful eyes that sparkled like rubies. Soon enough, those eyes are now looking at you with worry and demise clearly present in the fae's eyes. "Hehe, Lilia I think I'm starting to feel a bit drowsy now. But I dont want to sleep yet, can we dance?" You left out a weak laugh trying your hardest to look happy and strong in front of lilia's eyes. To your surprise, you see Lilia with a pained expression you've never seen before. "Dear, what have you done to me? You're just a weak little human that piqued my interest before. But look where we are now, I just averted my eyes for a brief second, and now they did this to you because of me.....I-....... Promise me that in your next lifetime, don't flock yourself with dangerous people like me alright?" A whine escaped you lips as your vision started to get blurry from the tears that are welling up in your eyes... "Hey Lilia darling, I just asked you for a dance right? I won't look cool if you turn me down like this..."

Frustration, worry, anger, and guilt welled up in Lilia's heart as his dear (y/n) stared at him sitting on the ground in front of him. He truly felt guilty that he was the reason why his lover ended up like that. (Y/n) deserves better than this. he thought. But now, he is so frustrated to see his darling helplessly smiling at him, pretending that everything is alright. It pained him to see his love slowly succumbing to the hands of death. A danse macabre indeed..

The look of strain and fatigue plastered all over (y/n)'s face made his heart drop. Lilia then stood up on his feet and asked "(y/n) darling, May I have this dance?"

Lilia then picked you up with your hands and the both of you waltz across the large bedroom illuminated by the bright hues of the sky, with lilia humming a familiar tune, you felt very relaxed in his grasp, you thought to yourself it would be nice if time were to stop at this moment, how romantic..... You giggled at your silly thoughts of a pipedream. "What is it little lamb? Falling for me harder now huh?" You started giggling like a little girl with Lilia's comment.

That is until a sharp pain in you chest started devouring you, making your legs feel numb and weak as the two of you fell onto the soft sheets of your bed. The look of pain plastered all over your face, with each second that passed, it feels like hell is devoring your soul,but when you look up, you see lilia with his worried and pained expression, his eyes glossy due to tears forming in his eyes. his biggest fear has finally begun to unfold right before his eyes. On the other hand, you felt your body started to grow numb with each second.

Pinning you from the bed, Lilia grabs your hand and squeeze it tightly, you felt like your fingers could break any second, but oddly enough, it felt pleasant and reasuring this pain is the feeling of being alive huh? Thank God I'm still alive you thought to yourself. "Dont go (y/n)! you're not allowed to leave me." Salty tears fell on your cheeks, as you felt your heart dropped feeling weak in death's grasp. The fae trailed kisses after kisses in your neck, tears began to fall, as his voice cracked and said "(y/n) , in all the years I've lived, you are the best thing that happend to me, you made me feel alive again, you're the most precious person I love, and I will keep you in my heart forever, I love you so much....... please don't forget that" hearing this is one of the best feelings in the world, you truly felt that it would be nice to die like this........ But maybe... just maybe... you can stay just for a bit longer.

"Lilia, if I ever get to have the power to go back in time where I first got here in twisted wonderland, do you know what I'd do? I would change nothing! Hehe! I would gladly meet you again and love you again! That would be like a treat for me! I get to relive all the best moments of my life all over again. I won't ever regret loving you, my darling....." A weak smile formed in your lips as you continued "if I were to get reincarnated, I wish that I will meet you and love you all over again! So you've gotta wait for me! And...... I love you too lilia Vanrouge senpai..." A dull pain in your chest started to hurt you again but soon enough, Lilia pressed his lips unto yours, tasting the salty tears mixed with the distinct flavor of licorice, you chuckled to yourself. The two of you embraced watching the sun finally set.

As the sky turned dark with the stars twinkling in the sky. "Lilia, you know, I feel very sleepy now, I'm really tired now..." You felt Lilia embrace you tighter as your vision gets blurry, and you feel every part of you has now grown numb.

"I hope you dream lots about me my sweet little (y/n)....." Your senses are now starting to shut down as you feel eternal slumber could devour you any moment "I love you lilia..." You finally felt you've crossed the border between life and death

"I love you too..." A weak smile graced your face as the cold night finally settled in.....

-The End-

So yes guys, this is me chilling here trying to delay and procrastinate on the rotting fanarts I'm making. If i look at my drawings, they would look at me judging my dumb decisions but oh well......

[lorainemoreno]

━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ( sofia carson, she/her ) is that LORAINE MORENO i just spotted in blackfalls? i hear they’re a 24 / 118 year-old VAMPIRE studying ART. i’ve heard that they’re ADVENTUROUS & DETERMINED but can also be SELF-DESTRUCTIVE & SECRETIVE. ( annie, 19, gmt+2, she/her )

Hello friends!! I’m Annie, a certified dumbass and a college student, though clearly my professors aren’t giving me enough work... (jk i’m drowning in assignments, i just pretend i do not see it) and this is Loraine who I adore but who is also a big meanie

TWs: mentions of death and murder!! Please proceed with caution!!

B A S I C S

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : Loraine Moreno 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒 : vampire 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 : Lo, Lori, Raine 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 & 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 : cis woman & she/her 𝐃𝐎�� & 𝐀𝐆𝐄 : december 25th 1901 at 6:11 am & twenty-four / hundred and eighteen 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 : capricorn sun, cancer moon & leo ascendant  𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 : pansexual & panromantic 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐎𝐍 : atheist 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 : english, spanish, greek 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 : + adventurous, supportive, focused, resilient - explosive, vengeful, self-destructive, grumpy   𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 : chaotic neutral 𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈 :  isfp 𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌 : type 8, the challenger

T R A G I C   B A C K S T O R Y

   𝟏. 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃, Loraine doesn’t remember much of her early life. At this point, most of her memories are bare flashes through her mind. It was all good - that she’s certain of - up until her mom died in an accident. Her father wasn’t the same ever since, his eyes were vacant and he barely spoke. He left one day and Lori never saw him, after that. She moved to stay with her aunt and although she took care of Loraine it was pretty clear that it was something she did out of pure obligation.

   𝟐. 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 been really easy to provoke but instead of growing out of it, she actually embraced it. If the word and the people who inhabited it were pure shit, why should she try to be anything different? She was mean and she started fights over the smallest of things, though she was terrible at finishing them. No matter, she got up and dusted herself off.

   𝟑. 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓 was no exception and the two of them fought pretty often. At the end of the day, Loraine rely on herself and herself only and she simply couldn’t wait until she moved out. She did, eventually, and she quite enjoyed living on her own. But you know, her temper had still not calmed down and eventually, when she was twenty-four, she messed with the wrong kinds of people. Though, they weren’t even people, were they? The vampires drank most of her blood and left her to die like that. That’s when another vampire (see wanted connections) noticed her and took pity on the dying girl, making sure she had some of their blood so she wouldn’t actually die.

   𝟒. 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐘 even more messed up than before. The faces of the vampires that did that to her were ingrained in her mind and the desire for revenge was what fueled her for a long time. Loraine was obsessed with finding them, desperately clinging to any and all clue of their whereabouts. It took many years but she did manage to track them down and kill them. 

  𝟓. 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐘 she had no idea what to do with herself after that. Her goal was finished. She traveled throghouht Europe for a few years before settling in Greece for a bit over the past decade. She’s worked night shifts as a bartender and treated it all as a creative break. The mundanity of it all was starting to grow too boring and calm for Loraine so the news of the mixed school piqued her interest and now here she is, looking to spice up her days.

  𝐓𝐋𝐃𝐑 ; Loraine is a shit-stirrer with a short-fuse, despite the fact that she couldn’t fight for shit. It eventually got her killed and she spent a good bunch of her life chasing after the people who left her to die to get her revenge. She’s been pretty lost and confused afterwards and is subconsciouslly looking for a new purpose in life.

S O M E T H I N G   E X T R A

  𝐈. To elaborate on her self-destructive tendencies, Lori runs on self-hate a lot of the time. She likes to push herself to her limits by doing dumb shit i.e. trying to see how much time she can really go without blood.

  𝐈𝐈. Loraine can be pretty flirty but she avoids actual relationships like the plague. It’s not hard for her to get attached to people but as soon as someone says they like (or God forbid love) her, she shuts down and pushes them away.

  𝐈𝐈𝐈. Despite that she can be pretty caring when she genuinely likes someone. She’d do the occasional check up and remind them to take care of themselves in her own special (read: lowkey agressive) way.

  𝐈𝐕. Her favorite color is plum and she hates red ever since she was turned. Surprisingly she really likes cutesy, animated movies and The fox and the hound is her all time favorie. ALSO!! She really loves jazz and she is a huge Frank Sinatra fan.

  𝐕. Grumpy cat embodied and she doesn’t quite understand memes. If you tell her a pun she will punch you in the face. 

  𝐕𝐈 . If you click here you will be redirected to her pinterest board !! There are TWs in the description so, again, please proceed with caution.

W A N T E D   C O N N E C T I O N S

I am such a sucker for strong platonic bonds!! Loraine is really unfriednly but if for some reason your character has decided to put up with that, I’d love for her to have some friends (especially if they have been friends for a long time)

fHFH any familial relationships, too!!

Also,, I would really love to have the vampire that saved her all those years back. She’s got a lot of respect and admiration for them and, tbh, she would probably follow them to the ends of the world? It can go a lot of ways so yeah!

ENEMIES. Please! She’s horrible so I need some people who dislike her.

Another classic one: friend(s?) with benefits mayhaps.

Maybe some people who she’s decided to take under her wing and decided to adopt a big sister sort of role with them?

[tsurvivorbelize]

Sharky’s Rites Of Passage

Read Sharky’s Rites of Passage here:

David - This is the inciting incident that started the epic tragedy that was my pre-merge game. David you seemed dope, but honestly Aaron pulled me into an alliance and was hell bent on getting rid of you, and I felt like turning on an alliance on Day 3 would have been bad mojo...turns out there was bad mojo anyway...

Aaron - Honestly...you just came it so hot! I don’t think our game styles necessarily mesh well, and I felt like you were doing way too much right out of the gate, I felt Day 3 was too soon to flip on you...but by Day 6 I had formed a second three person alliance with the people you left out, positioned myself perfectly in the middle of both alliances, and ultimately your frantic energy and abysmal challenge scores pushed me over the edge, I’m sure you’re awesome, and your ORG is entertaining AF, but this game just wasn’t it for us.

Cas - CAS! You were my first buddy in this game, and once we got rid of Aaron I really did want to stay a strong alliance of 4 to work through this game together. Unfortunately our tribe was a black hole of suck and we kept losing, I thought I stood a better chance with Mikee and Jay...and welp...we see how that turned out.

Adam - Adam I think I didn’t give you a chance...after Uvero lost 4 straight challenges I was feeling ruthless and when some people through your name out there it was like...blood in the water to a shark. (Too Corny. Bite me.) I think if you had stayed my game would have been very different, but oh well.

Christian - You’re the only person I never met. Hope you had fun?

Mikee - MIKEEEEEE. Honestly I wanted you to be my ride or die. And I know we didn’t end on good terms after I stabbed you in the back...but you really fell off the face of the planet, and I thought that at least Brien and Gev were active. I needed you in this game but I ahd to vote you out to save myself.

Gevonte - lordT. Queen Bitch Fevvy. Robbed Queen. These people don’t even know what they missed out on by keeping us apart. I love you so much. You’ll always be a king to me. And everyone should follow our FB game Storyteller ORG. Gev and I rock the hosting gig (45% of the time).

Jay - Jay. WTF HAPPENED!?!?! Jk I know what happened. But I really had big plans for us if we ever made it back to each other. Your cat in the background of call gives me life. Your root beer alcohol confuses me. And overall I’m sad that we missed out on taking Adrian’s Angels to the merge.

Katy - Katy I feel like maybe you were iconic and I missed out on it by playing the middle. We didn’t really talk until the merge, and I know during the second swap you had maybe brought up my name to target if we lose, but you were cool, and during the merge I feel like you were the first person to try and get to know me. On one hand I’m sorry I voted you out...on the other hand it got me here.

Jarrett - Jarrett bitch! I drank your Kool-Aid. I stan you and your messiness, and I was ready to go all the way to the end with you, just because I think you’re great. I’m sorry you went out the way you did that was wild, and I’m sorry we didn’t get to be messy together longer!

Taylor - Oof. So obviously it’s my fault you got sent home, and I can’t even take full credit because Scott lowkey got me. I last minute got this big plan in my head, which sort of worked out but I didn’t expect to lose you in the process. I also hate to confess to you that I already had an alliance called Adrian’s Angels and that one flopped just as hard as ours did. I can’t say I’m that sorry though on a game level because DAMN YOU ARE GOOD. I can’t wait to talk after this season, and can’t wait for you to read me for filth either when I join the jury or at FTC...but I know it’s coming.

Pietro - My Brazilian BB, even though our schedules never quite lined up to let us really talk, I think you’re a great guy and I wish we could have gone further in the game together. I’m sorry that the un-merging caused you to be left out, I thought I had found a way to save all of us but it didn’t quite work. <3

Scott - I think you and Taylor were the masterminds of this game, and for some reason you are just so frickin charming I thought saving you at F8 was a good idea, then I woke the fuck up and realized that you were such a massive threat, and you should be proud that it took us like 42 advantages and a revote to get rid of you. Also...at least you weren’t the eighth person voted out and the first member of our jury. Lit Sick Rad Nasty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKrDh1GoyUs

Spike - We played together for so long...and never talked one on one. Shout out to me being a social threat. Yikes. But when we talked in alliances and group calls you were a cool dude! And you have that dope ass microphone. 

Brien - Brien wtf do I even say to you. I love you, I hate you, You’re an idiot, And probably one of my best friends in this game. (Go Birds). I really tried to work with you, ngl I also tried to get rid of you on the Taylor vote, whoops. Figured I should just admit that before it comes out later. (Go Birds) You tried to vote me out, because you didn’t trust me. I had been lowkey shady, but I really do vibe you, and once Taylor was gone and we had that endurance challenge where we got to bond, I knew that you were somebody I could play this game with. (Go Birds) I’m sorry that it ended the way it did. But you fought hard, and were shady a lot of the time (same, even though I wouldn’t admit it while you were in the game) and I hope you get a chance to move into a room with a higher ceiling! But for real philly boys through and through! GO BIRDS!

[futurewriter2000]

OKAAAYY

I’M HYPED, for the first time in a long time ;) ;) I was supposed to be studying but I didn’t all day. Not gonna lie, I kinda expected that but life is short so yolo.

I’m jammig to some old songs and I omg like...the kid in me is so happy because this is my childhood.

So, umm yeah basically what happened was that I woe  up pretty shitty and I didn’t school (yolo) and well till it was like 17.00 I was pretty down BUT THEN! I drank some coffee and ate some Nutella so I’m high on sugar and caffeine and I have never felt more beter...OH my god! Do drugs make you even hyper than caffeine and sugar does? I really need to try some. No jk. I don’t do drugs. (but I wonder ya know...) Got drunk once and it was so dope but the next few days were shitty and everything inside me hurt so don’t do alcohol kids.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this but you know I’ve been on my phone and it died (that piece of shit) but I kinda get him bc well, I’ve been annoying people and umm I think he had enough of me. Plus I have to study but you know not yet. I am a procrastinator till the day I die.

Speaking of dying. I’ve thinking a lot about when I die in the future because everybody eventually dies. But like...I’ll pretty damn disappointed if my dreams about becoming a time traveller after I die and getting some dope superpower to travel through universes like The Flash and Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and shit cuz I wanna protect those who mf died on me and made me cry and grieve for months ( I’m talking to you Fred Weasley!)

Am I even going to post this or just write it and than delete it........? Maybe I’LL post it because what can people do. I mean I know I’M weird and crazy. Like not gonna hide that side of me. heheheh..but foreal why are bugs so disgusting? Like I can see them being cute ass bitches but the closer you look and that slimy shit on them I just EWW!

My best friend has bday today. Turning 19 that grandma. But like do you know how much stuff goes in my head. Like I wanna say soo much but like how? Like I could talk for so long every day for the rest of my life and record it and than you’d see how wise and smart I am because there goes so much wisdom in my mind but I just spit out something weitrd and crazy bc people are used to me like that. You know making them laugh and smile and me telling them smth serious is like “ TIJANA WHO ARE YOU!” and so I don’t say anything but some stupid and funny joke.. Because I am funny indeed (talking to you humor queen, giving me your talent ;*)  but the face and expression when they see how wise and smart I can get is mf priceless so imma just stay with that.

And uuuh...you should know how much I THOUGHT OF MY CRUSH today. Like damn that boy and his eyes and hair and body and ass and laugh and everything like him and me would be great...just saying because he’s everything and i’m me and that makes such a cute ass mess.

I think like thats enough I really need to go study but probably will talk to myself for a few more minutes because I’m weird and fuck it.

ALL THE LOVEEEE I GIVEEEE YOUUUU ALL THEEEE LOOOOVE  I FEEL FOR YOUUUU I CANNNNTT SAYY HOW MUCH I LOEEEE YOUUU..okay I’m done

[dwestfieldblog]

THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR MUST FEEL

This temporary apocalypse could be seen as a globally overdue Long Night of the Soul, an initiation of sorts which might result in a deeper understanding of what actually matters for human evolution (despite the very best efforts of the scum who are trying to reverse any spiritual progress because it weakens their hold.) There are several ways in which the negative side could truly take over, starting with the horror nightmare prospect of DT (aka ‘Just Another Scumbag’ as Bannon once called him) re ‘elected’. The realistic pessimist in me is sure that if he wins, this planet in this dimension is finished. His winning will be a final signal to the world to give us up. In my lifetime, we have never been so close to the mass breakout of totalitarianism and utter lack of empathy than we are now. Actual fascist populists, not some wet Liberal bleating but the real thing, ready to go live. Covid has bankrupted hundreds of thousands of businesses, millions have lost their jobs, migration from the truly poor and dangerous countries continues...into the becoming poor and dangerous countries. Those who live there and are already ruined by the disasters in every home will be easy prey for the populists. Speaking of whom...

Steve Bannon has spent a great deal of time and other people’s money in setting up a network to overthrow the (arf arf arf) ‘deep state’ and replace it with... a new deeper state...still run by the rich, who will use the populists, who in turn will use the mass of the angry and frightened...etc etc...And power, as most people recognise it, will stay in the hands of the unhuman swine with the most gold and the least soul. WER NICHT HOREN WILL, MUSS FUHLEN...

‘...the human nervous system properly programmed, can edit and orchestrate all experience into any gestalt it wishes. We encounter the same dismal and depressing experiences over and over again because they are repeating tape loops in the central programmer of our brains. We can encounter ecstasy over and over by learning the neurosciences that orchestrate all in coming signals into ecstatic tape loops.’ R.A.Wilson. Prometheus Rising, Hilaritas Press.

It takes a lot of effort and Will to do this but what else is worth it other than to attempt to break out of the vicious cycle and evolve? Even I have managed this when I focus on choosing it. Giving up ingrained behavioural habits often hurts; this is, however, a choice. It doesn’t have to unless you are a masochist.

Flew to England for three weeks in August, full flight sold out, all of us wore masks (apart from one 6 foot 6 mad eyed American who kept pacing up and down the cabin.) Right up to the point where we were all given a bottle of water, some crisps and two biscuits...All masks off at the same time, all passengers attempting not to breathe while we drank and ate. Love seeing how many in both countries wear masks under their nose or even only on their chin. As Bill Hicks would say ‘Any questions why we’re f.....d up as a race?’ As Jonathan Pie does say; ‘Put a f...... mask on.’ I have been coughing since February, and drinking heavily, so not especially optimistic about getting C19.

I avoided almost all of the news while in UK, watched five minutes in total on the TV and only read headlines in the paper. It was enough. Since I have been back in Prague I have continued to avoid the news other than that which I am told by friends and students but I can tell from daily receiving over one hundred emails that things are truly breaking. Hexagram 23 and total Weltschmerz is upon us. Mental health is twisting up globally. One by one, all my friends are suffering serious damage, one way or another. Hearts are breaking apart and many damnable souls, who should be burning, are not. People are afraid to breathe or to embrace, looking to the very worst set of leaders in my lifetime for answers and being manipulated en masse to mass crises.  

(Jaz Coleman....On the Day the Earth went Mad...watch the video, listen. Feel. Weep. Rage. Change.) QUI NOLERUNT AUDIRE DEBERE SENTIRE.

Love the interviews I saw with those who voted for Trump and realised they made a mistake...after FOUR YEARS. What clued them in? Which particular excremental atrocity of his foulness gave them the alert? Will the Electoral College let him ‘win’? Before I left, I saw the Trump interview where he said ‘It is what it is’, with regard to the massive number of deaths in the USA. ‘We are below the world’. Blood pressure rising, I even checked his Twitter account where he published two letters, one from the eternally unlovely NRA and the other from the American Police Federation, assuring him he was the best president to ever serve their interest and they would back him to the hilt. His plan to stir the US up into open civil war continues and Putin sits back and smiles. As does Jared it seems, the smug sadist advisor in the same style as (England’s off Broadway Trump) Boris’s Dominic Cummings.  Herd Immunity? Well yes it might work at some point after a few years and millions dead. You evil alien bastards. The  main individuals in the British Government will make millions from a no deal Brexit, perfect timing. The country will die.

The newest PC bullshit has got even the wonderful JK Rowling into trouble just for speaking her mind politely about transgender issues. I love PC... it is how dumb useless Liberals can act out their secret fascist impulses and feel hard of c..k and wet of p...y...feel good to be so righteous... same with overly ill humoured religious folk,  but the PC tribe cannot use God to justify anything so they are a bit weaker...You morons... ‘People who menstruate’, People with a cervix’? PEOPLE? Really? Women is a bad word is it? Too specific? (Well it has the word men in it, so seems almost inclusive.) You bastards are annihilating language; raping semantics...get another hobby you ridiculous cretins. (Be sure the populists well understand how to manipulate such fools.)

Extinction Rebellion is being used (among a multitude of other groups in other countries, hello Black Lives Matter) by the Kremlin to stir up shite, they are mostly well meaning on the road to Hell. Stop being so dumb and stop helping those who are against you at home and abroad. Dogmatic faith leads to mistrust, violence and hatred, says the lone derranger...And as for the absurd Q Anon, it is those who seek a Deeper State who are using you to do it. Well done.

Jacob Blake, shot seven (count them) times in the back by police even though charged with no crime and paralysed was handcuffed to hospital bed. That goofy twat of a 17 yr boy who wanted to be a policeman, shooting at blacks because he believed he had carte blanc (arf) from Trump to defend his country against ‘terrorists’...he will probably escape much punishment because... he was bullied at school...WHO WASNT?? The only people who weren’t were bullied at home. Guns ‘open carry’ in various states as the NRA rejoice in what they encourage. ‘Your first amendment means I can say your second amendment sucks d...s’. JimJeffries. Damn straight. By the time even I was 17, I had grown out of wanting to kill half the world. Wannabe cops are a little slower. 

Everything is the new normal. Too late for a mid life crisis unless I die at 108 but I never forget that statistically there is more chance of being killed by death than anything else. ‘Heres to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’ Walking... see three funeral services shops in the road leading to/away from the hospital, clever businessmen...walking...masks off, between two conveniently placed flower shops and smoking outside the fuming crematorium in black suits and highly polished shoes. Waiting. That’s us.

I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. I MISS YOU MARLENE. Nice headline seen on US newspaper...‘Can any good from cyberstalking your online crush?’I wondered that after falling in fascination with a woman in Germany who wrote like a poet and wove a spell of stories to charm and beguile. I would have walked from London to Hamburg to see if she was real. Everyone expresses love and the need for it in different ways. Reprogramming a deeply imprinted circuit is usually uncomfortable and so it proved for both of us. We shall see...if there is time. ‘One of us is crazy and the other one’s insane’

I can remember one of the days I Changed (seven years old?) We had a history lesson and were told about English kings and their ‘Divine Right’ to rule. Because God told them. And they told the people. And the people believed them. I remember the light in the classroom, where I was sitting, the smell of the tables, old unused ink wells, pencil shavings... and just thinking whatever a child’s version of F..K OFF...THATS BULLSHIT ISNT IT? would have been. That was the first moment I started questioning the class system, gullibility and bastards. A couple of years later, the absolute freedom of being, sent to collect the class register, walking down the empty corridors and not in the classroom...a beautiful feeling of being OUTSIDE. Free. Two of many experiences which have never left me. (The Angel Choir, the Rituals, the EYE across the Multiverse dream, the Reconnection...) Even if Freedom turns out to be as much of an illusion as everything else, it is still as beautifully sensual to me as music.

One summer night in 1990 after my 3rd breakdown, I had a dream. I think. Bear (or even bare) with me on this, I know how this sounds but it is only reporting what I saw in my mind. Two Aliens, thin and shadow like, came though my open bedroom door in the night (I could see the silhouettes) and one took a long shiny silver needle like a hypodermic for a horse and stood behind me and pushed the needle in through the top and centre of my skull, penetrating my brain. I FELT it slowly being pushed in, it hurt but I was paralysed. There was no voice but I heard (try not to laugh) ‘So now you have Superintelligence’. They moved out, the door closed, I slept. As usual with me, I remember every single dream I have ever remembered as if they were films I have watched over and over...and after a dream, the atmosphere stays with me for 23 whores. Later that day, I picked a big hardback book to find some info on something (A Cyclopaedia) with pages as thin as a bible. I sat almost motionless and without food for eight hours, DEVOURING every subject in it. Economics, geometry, geopolitical events, medicine, beliefs, systems.....the next day I finished ninety percent of it and went on to read books by five philosophers from second hand shops, started watching insects, stopped swearing, worked out, and read and read and read. All the knowledge I hadn’t cared about in school and college I picked up that one summer. It led to making new friends, new possibilities, new work, new love and led me to fly to Prague in this sequence while continuing to practice many ‘New age’ techniques by a writer called Stuart Wilde. They all worked and I continued...with regular fallings and breakthroughs.

‘Religion was invented when the first scoundrel met the first fool’. Faith is believing what you know not be true’. The seeker finds a belief and stops thinking for themselves...‘Every ideology is a mental murder, a reduction of dynamic living processes to static classifications, and every classification is a Damnation, just as every inclusion is an exclusion.’RAW

I had a four hour conversation with a Christian bloke, thirty, intelligent, believes in Satan as an actual being with horns. Etc. He couldn’t quite see any flaw in saying that any prophet who saw angels, white light and heard the voice of God, healed, etc but was not actually Christ, was only being tempted and used by the devil. He told me to watch the beautiful side of evil...

‘Every act of authority is, in fact, an invasion of the psychic and physical territory of another’. Human progress ‘is the concrete manifestation of some person’s refusal to bow to Authority.’  

‘WE GOT ELECTED ON DRAIN THE SWAMP, LOCK HER UP, BUILD THE WALL. THIS WAS PURE ANGER. ANGER AND FEAR IS WHAT GETS PEOPLE TO THE POLLS. THE DEMOCRATS DON'T MATTER, THE REAL OPPOSITION IS THE MEDIA, and the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit.’ Said Bannon, who also said. ‘Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. Thats power.’ Has he met Putin yet? Is he also on speed dial along with Boris and Trump? People! Create better leaders. NOW.

Happy birthday Aleister Crowley on the 12th October and Happy Halloween to all readers, stay healthy and sane (arf) Remember you are magick...buy the re-release of Musick to Play in the Dark by COIL and become moonlight... And those in America, if you actually do truly believe in a good God...go and vote and remove that evil ego and his cohorts in the White House with absolute overwhelming victory or we are done in this lifetime. Be healthy.

LOVE!!!

[chilipepperflake]

Tagged!!!

Tagged by: @mydailycraziness7 !! Love u (ノ ﾟヮﾟ)ノ彡ღ ‼️

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

I tag: @ayllx , @bennieandthejosh , @icecat , @valngl0ry , @ghostsinthesunx , @dreamsley , and whoever else wants to!

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

last

1. drink - water


2. phone call - my sister on facetime


3. text message - “e n d m e e e e”


4. song you listened to - fob- heavens gate


5. time you cried - like 2 months ago

have you ever

6. dated someone twice -nope


7. kissed someone and regretted it - nope


8. been cheated on - nope


9. lost someone special - yeah


10. been depressed - yeah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nope

fave colours

12. Red


13. Black


14. Blue/purple!

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yup


16. fallen out of love - nope


17. laughed until you cried - yeah XD


18. found out someone was talking about you - nope


19. met someone who changed you - yeah!


20. found out who your true friends are - yup


21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no lmao

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all of em, i only have like 3 and theyre family

23. do you have any pets - a dog!! His name is Ramsay and i love him w my whole heart


24. do you want to change your name - nah. Used to wanna change it to something more gender neutral but this is me


25. what did you do for your last birthday - i went out to eat w the fam


26. what time did you wake up today - 730 am


27. what were you doing at midnight last night - watching either bts videos or buzzfeed unsolved


28. what is something you can’t wait for - my best friends birthday so i can give her the presents ive been hiding for ages


30. what are you listening to right now - the sound of my neighbors bein loud af


31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes lolol


32. something that’s getting on your nerves - the goddam neighbors bein loud af


33. most visited website - tumblr or youtube


34. hair colour - brown but the ends are reddish-blond since my firetruck red faded


35. long or short hair - shorttttt im never goin back to long hair again


36. do you have a crush on someone - ...... yes


37. what do you like about yourself - NOTHING

Jk i like my ability to disregard literally anything people throw at me


38. want any piercings? - yessss i want at least one more ear piercing and perhaps a nose ring?


39. blood type - O


40. nicknames - tite, risa? Dont have many that are used on a regular basis


41. relationship status - single


42. zodiac - cancer


43. pronouns - they/them


44. fave tv shows - currently watchin buffy the vampire slayer, just finished cowboy bebop 👌🏼


45. tattoos - i want some, dont have any


46. right or left handed - right


47. ever had surgery - yup, heart


48. piercings - three in each ear


49. sport - i was on the swim team in high school


50. vacation - nope i dont go anywhere


51. trainers - yes

52. eating - shrimp chips


53. drinking - water


54.I’m about to watch - bangtan bombs till i fall asleep


55. waiting for - news to say whether or not i can skip town this weekend


56. want - ice cream


57. get married - not really an end goal of life, but would be nice


58. career - im a writer we dont get jobs we die

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - im not an authority on kisses but hugs are rad


60. lips or eyes - both good


61. shorter or taller - im short so short


62. older or younger - either? But not by much


63. nice arms or stomach - neither physical appearance doesnt matter


64. hookup or relationship - relationship am ace


65. troublemaker or hesitant - im a mix so a mix?

66. kissed a stranger - nope


67. drank hard liquor - nope


68. lost glasses - nope


69. turned someone down - yup


70. sex on first date - nope


71. broken someone’s heart - i hope not


72. had your heart broken - yup


73. been arrested - no


74. cried when someone died - no


75. fallen for a friend - yeah

do you believe in

76. yourself - binch no wtf


77. miracles - yes


78. love at first sight - yes, to an extent


79. santa claus - no


80. kiss on a first date - sure why not


81. angels - yea

other

82. best friend’s name - claudia


83. eye colour - brown


84. fave movie - from up on poppy hill


85. fave actor - idk actors names lol

[mytsukkishine]

[HQ!kurotsuki] Tsukki and his Sasuke

My gift for @essrambles (that I kept bothering as an anon bcz I dnt wanna mess up lol) for the @kurotsukiexchange I hope you like this. I am late!! So gomen!

Soulmate AU (slut for that au) where Kei received his tattoo--- but oh no, it’s not a very good tattoo. Or the day Kei wanted to become a murderer jk.

posted this also on AO3 (mytsukkishine) but I do suggest for ya’ll to read that there *winkwonktocommentwinkwonnk*

It’s good to know what’ll be the first thing your soulmate would tell you, but for Kei—he doesn’t want to meet his, for he’s sure he’ll kill his soulmate if he did.

Because his soulmate is a fcking 'spoiler alert' of his favorite manga.

!! WARNING contains spoilers for Naruto Shippuden and Avatar the Last Airbender (if ya’ll haven’t seen it yet)-- not proceed :3

Tsukishima Kei was not a fan of tattoos, especially long ass tattoos that your supposed soulmate for life would say for the first time you meet.

Well, it’s good to know what’ll be the first thing your soulmate would tell you, but for Kei—he doesn’t want to meet his, for he’s sure he’ll kill his soulmate if he did.

Because that motherfucker spoiled him.

It all started when Kei was about to have his 16th birthday the next day. His brother, Akiteru, was giving him speeches about soulmates that he doesn’t really care about, really; he’s 15, he’s a boy, and he doesn’t give a shit about soulmates.

“Aki-ni, I get it, now will you please leave?”

“I’m just saying, if your soulmate is a boy, It’ll be fine,”

“Wait? I can have a boy as a soulmate?” When Akiteru nodded, Kei just sighed and resumed reading.

“Whatever, will you now go?”

“Okay, okay. Anyway, what do you want as a gift?” When Kei heard that, his head immediately looked up at his brother, excitement was evident on his face that it made Akiteru chuckle.

“More manga?” Kei suggested and Akiteru nodded. “Hmm, you’re quite addicted to Naruto, huh? Wasn’t that famous like years ago?”

“Yeah, and nothing’s wrong with me wanting to keep up again,”

“Want me to tell you what would happen in Naruto Shippuden?” Akiteru smirked as Kei pouted and explained to Akiteru that he was still reading the last chapters of Naruto.

“Okay, okay,” Akiteru grinned before closing the door, thinking of where to buy the said manga.

Kei was so excited about his birthday because he knew his brother would really buy him mangas.

And as time went by, it was night time when Kei was reading peacefully, enjoying the fighting scene he was reading.

He was so absorbed in reading that he didn’t notice the time, few more seconds before his birthday.

Suddenly, a faint burning sensation on his left shoulder made Kei stop for a while, his eyes staring on the wall in front of him as the burning feeling continued before it stopped.

Kei’s heart was beating fast, a little afraid to look at his newly formed tattoo, but also a little excited. The blond took a deep breath, closing his book before pulling the collar of his shirt—

“Nice serve!” One of his teammates shouted, all of their eyes on the ball as it was hit by Tanaka, “Come on push it!” When Sugawara sets off the ball, Hinata came running before hitting it with all his might. Unfortunately, Kei blocked him, the small lad cursing in the process.

“Okay, guys! Take a break,” Their coach announced, clapping on Kageyama’s back, and the boys went on with their own errands.

Yamaguchi, Kei’s best friend, went up to him, all giddy and excited. “I can’t wait for next week!”

“Yamaguchi, shut up,” Yamaguchi just grinned, handing Kei his own water bottle. “It’s my first time going to a convention, and I read some forums about it last night!”

“I don’t know if I‘d be able to go,” Kei tried his best to ignore the glare his friend was giving him, but it was too strong—like Sugawara senpai’s glare strong.

“Tsukki! We talked about this a month ago,” The tall blond didn’t reply, and instead chose to sit down and rest while they waited for their practice to start.

“I told Aki niichan about it!”  

“Ah…” In all honesty, Kei just wanted to tease his friend. His brother also bribed him about going to Tokyo. He said he should go so he could see what Tokyo can offer, and he also promised to give him some money. Kei doesn’t really have a problem with buying things, but a little income wasn’t bad.

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi took a seat beside him as Kei drank from his bottle. “It’s a gathering, there will be booths and stuff you can buy!”

“I don’t have much money,” Kei lied and wiped away the sweat on his forehead. The latter only sighed, obviously tired in convincing him, but Kei knew Yamaguchi won’t give up.

“It’s not just about buying merch, it’s about getting to know others. Especially with the same hobby,” Yamaguchi was really persistent and Kei sometimes hated him for that. Yamaguchi was like his brother, annoying but at the same time he trusts that he knows what’s good for him.

The blond released a tired sigh, stretching his arms a little. “Fine, I’ll think about it.”

“Tsukki, are you still disappointed about Naruto?”

Kei’s heart jumped a little, the memory of the said manga was still fresh in his heart, mind, and soul. He loved the Naruto series so much, but a certain someone ruined it for him.

However, he managed to catch up even though he kind of knew how things would go.

Plus, he’s sad about Naruto, Kei thought, Naruto doesn’t deserve more pain.

“Not talking about that,”

“You can still continue reading it you know,” Yamaguchi drank from his bottle and gave Kei time to think about everything—everything Naruto and soulmates.

“I heard Naruto Shippuden just finished last week,”

“I’m still reading it… Maybe whenever I have time,” Yamaguchi just nodded. Time, they have plenty, Kei just doesn’t want to admit he was spoiled from the plot.

“Not my fault your soulmate is a talker,” Kei glared at his friend but the other remained unaffected, closed his water bottle and released a contented sigh.

Yamaguchi remembered the day Kei got his tattoo. He called him and a panicked Kei answered.

“It doesn’t make sense!”

“Wha—Happy birthday?”

“Why would he die? What about Naruto? Why? Who is Pain?”

“Tsukki?”

“My fucking soulmate spoiled Naruto Shippuden for me,”

“Come on Tsukki! Next week okay?” Yamaguchi grinned at him, trying hard not to laugh. “I heard there are booths for figurines.”

Before Kei could answer, their coach blew the whistle and practice resumed.

~

Kei hated everyone. Also Yamaguchi, but he hated him less.

He hated everyone because the place was crowded, meaning skinship was present and Kei hated that. Two, he hated Yamaguchi since he suddenly disappeared, and also because Yamaguchi drew some whiskers on his cheek, claiming he looked like a low cost cosplayed Naruto.

With a sigh, Kei continued to walk through the crowd, stopping by at some booths that was interesting. For a while, he was getting tired of walking until he found a booth that was interesting enough for him to squeeze through.

There he saw a full set of Naruto Shippuden manga, all brand new than the ones he already had. There were also some figurines below. He grabbed one book and browsed the pages carefully, his hands tingling of want to buy the manga but sadly, he put the book back where it belonged. His heart was still disappointed as his hand automatically went to his shoulder where his tattoo lies.

However, something caught his attention.

With utmost care and gentleness, Kei picked up a Naruto and Jiraiya keychain, amazed by the details of the toy—from the hair, the face, and the clothing.

Then someone cleared their throat.

“Too bad Jiraiya died huh? Pain was a pain-in-the-ass”

Kei’s breath hitched. He was frozen, ears ringing, and heart beating.

All of his thoughts came jumbling up when he heard that voice—but then he frowned.

He frowned as he looked at the source of that voice—to where he was spoiled from his favorite anime.

And he can’t fucking believe it, it’s Sasuke—that mother fucker was Sasuke—and he’s with Kaneki Ken from Tokyo Ghoul, only that he has black and white hair that was sticking up.

“Fuck off, Sasuke”

Both cosplayers were stunned at the sudden outburst but the said character, Sasuke, quickly recovered.

“Oh, wow, my Naruto seemed so pissed off,”

Now it was time for Kei to be shocked. He puts down the keychain down, still shooting daggers at the cosplayer before him.

“You!”

“Wait, your whiskers are a little smudged,” The Sasuke cosplayer reached up to his cheeks, brushing away on the melting whiskers. That Sasuke was grinning all the time, and Kei was sure his cheeks were flushed red.

Also his smirk pissed him off so much.

“There, looking cute.”

“I hate you, do you know that?”

“Wha—”

“You!! You freaking spoiler!” Kei pointed at him and the Sasuke cosplayer wanted to swat the hand away but he just can’t, he got a feeling that he would die on the spot if he did.

“Hey, hey now, what are you saying—” The Sasuke cosplayer sweated nervously. They were gaining a crowd, and he was sure that both of them don’t like the attention they were gaining.

“Bro, I think you should talk somewhere,” That Kaneki Kun spoke suddenly and the Sasuke cosplayer nodded.

Kei gasped as ‘Sasuke’ took hold of his shoulders and pushed him away from the crowd, leaving his Kaneki Kun friend alone. They went to a corner where they knew no one would look at them, and Kei was still struggling in his hold.

“Hey, stop, what did I do?”

“You spoiled Naruto for me! Now I can’t read it anymore because—because it’s saddening to know how things would go!” All of Kei’s frustration since childhood came pouring out. Okay he admits—he can’t get over the fact that he was spoiled.

“Huh?”

“Jiraiya! It doesn’t make sense when I had my tattoo! So many questions knowing Jiraiya would die. That’s a big fucking blow in the face,”

“Tattoo…”

“And I can’t believe you’re my soulmate,”

“Soulmate?”

Kei and the Sasuke cosplayer’s eyes widen in realization, both too consumed on what’s happening right now that they forgot about tattoos and soulmates.

They forgot that they both uttered one another’s tattoo.

Quickly, the Sasuke cosplayer pulled his costume down, showing Kei the tattoo he has on his chest, below his collarbone. The same position where Kei has his tattoo.

“Fuck off, Sasuke”

“Fuck,”

“So that’s why I had the urge to cosplay Sasuke…” The other grinned, “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou,”

“I still hate you. You ruined my childhood. That part wasn’t even written yet, I don’t know who Pain was. He wasn’t introduced but no, it’s my tattoo. I was still reading the part where they saw Sasuke again!”

Kuroo was all smiles. Happy that he met his soulmate, and a little happy that he’s kind of feisty.

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo tried again, bringing his hand out. The blond huffed, completely flustered at the sudden outburst and the meeting.

“Tsukishima Kei…” He managed to murmur through his pout, arms crossed over his chest as he looked away, not meeting the cosplayer’s tantalizing sharingan eyes. Kuroo just chuckled as he took Kei’s hand, holding it with utmost care.

“Tsukishima Kei…” Kuroo repeated his name under his breath, eyes still observing every feature of his soulmate. . It was mixed emotions, he was happy, excited, and nervous—Kuroo can feel that he’s sweating and that he needed to say something to make things less awkward. “Well, at least your tattoo doesn’t have the word ‘fuck’ on it.”

It’s too good to be true, Kei was almost carried away with his smile, his charm, and how smooth Kuroo was, however, Kuroo chose to ruin it all.

“Well damn, my tattoo has a goddamn lame ass pun,”

“Wow, I hit a jackpot, Bo”

~*~

Kei hated everyone. Also, Kuroo, but he kind of feels embarrassed at how Kuroo has his arm around his shoulder.

It was kind of heavy, but it’s surprisingly warm.

After the meeting your soulmate incident, Kei wanted to get away from him but Kuroo insisted they should roam around together, after all, they were soulmates.

“I am with a friend,”

“Then let us find your friend,”

“Where’s your Kaneki Ken friend?”

“Don’t mind him, we’ll meet up at 5,” Kei was about to reply back when Kuroo suddenly stopped and ran towards a cosplayer.

“May I take a selfie with you?” Kuroo asked the ‘Zuko’ cosplayer and they nodded, Kuroo excitedly posed beside him and Kei found it all silly.

After a while, Kuroo returned to Kei’s side, all smiles. “Man, their cosplay is so awesome,”

“Hm…” Kei nodded and they continued to walk.

“Though I like Aang more I guess,” Kuroo commented.

“Well, Zuko switched side so I’m good with Zuko,”

Kuroo stopped walking and it took Kei a moment to realize Kuroo was left behind. “Kuroo-san?” He called out, he felt a little worried especially how Kuroo’s face was contorted.

He looked so shocked, and—

“Oh no, you didn’t TsukkI!”

“What?”

“You… you,” Kuroo sighed out dejectedly, almost wanting to cry and Kei has no idea why. Kei walked up to his soulmate, raising his brow at him. “What happened?”

Kuroo mumbled something under his breath, it irks Kei a little bit.

“I can’t hear you, Kuroo-san,”

“You ruined…”

“What?”

“I haven’t finished watching Avatar the Last Airbender okay!?”

Kei was stunned for a while before erupting in laughter, hands coming up to cover his mouth ad his eyes glanced teasingly at Kuroo, “R-really?” He managed to say between laughter.

And well, Kuroo doesn’t mind.

He does mind but seeing his soulmate laugh was wow!

[myheartofmusic]

Apparently this thing has rules but saltnhalo wanted me to break them so...

1. last drink: Milo, but probably water, I’m attached to a drink bottle.

2: last phone call: A close family friend who is basically my sister

3. last text message: I texted my boss “no worries”

4. last song you listened to: “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” by Meatloaf

5. last time you cried: Last Monday. I basically had a breakdown at the medical clinic. Was not a good day.

6. dated someone twice: No

7. kissed someone and regretted it?: Yes. He was gross and kept pressuring me into sex. He was quite the fuckwit.

8. been cheated on?: No

9. lost someone special?: Yes. My grandpa.

10. been depressed?: Yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: Nope! I don’t generally throw up when I drink, my body just hates me later.

fave colors

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Aqua

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: Yes. 

16: fallen out of love?: In a way, yes.

17. laughed until you cried?: Of course

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Not that I know of.

19. met someone who changed you?: Yes. I finally got to meet Misha. 

20. found out who your friends are?: Lol I’m pretty bad at making friends in the first place, so if you’re friends with me, it’s pretty obvious you’re not fake.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Hmm. Gimme a sec. (later) that would be a no.

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Majority of them are family. But there is a good portion who I met via the internet.

23. do you have any pets?: Yes, a Border Collie x Kelpie named Shelby. She’s energetic and a little shit, but the cutest, loyal and most loving pet I’ve ever had.

24. do you want to change your name?: Naahhhhh, mum and dad did good.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: Watched the season premiere of Game of Thrones season 6. Bestie made a shit ton of kickass GoT deserts that were to bloody die for.

26. What time did you wake up today? 9am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Reading fan fiction lol

28. what is something you can’t wait for?: Bestie’s wedding. It’s gonna be good.

29. What are you listening to right now?: Crickets outside, mixed in with people driving down the highway.

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Indeed I have.

31. something that’s getting on your nerves?: Not being paid correctly at work lol

32. most visited website: Jeez it would probably be Twitter or AO3

33. hair color: currently it’s a weird browny-reddy thing. Naturally, it’s mousy brown.

34. long or short hair: It’s currently very long. One day I will shave it and I will play with different hairstyles as it grows back.

35. do you have a crush on someone?: No. I don’t really have crushes.

36. what do you like about yourself?: Eeeerrrrrrrrr I never manage to break my phone screen? *touches wood*

37. want any piercings?: Nah. Got my ears pierced, all I need.

38. blood type: A+

39. nicknames: Nat, NAT, N A T N A T Bratalie, Barry, Natski

40. relationship status: Single and not ready to mingle because I don’t know what that is lol

41. zodiac: Cancer

42. pronouns: she/her

43. fave tv shows: Supernatural, GoT, B99, OITNB, Suits... idk, I watch a lot of shows. 

44. tattoos: Nope

45. right or left handed: right-handed, but I eat with my knife and fork in opposite hands.

46. ever had surgery?: Nope!

47. piercings?: Ears

48. sport: Reading as much Destiel fan fiction that is humanly possible. 

49. vacation: Tbh all I wanna do is be surrounded by books in a 18 degree glass room on the most comfortable bed I’ve ever laid my back on and be surrounded by a fucking amazing view of nature outside the windows.

50. trainers: wtf does this mean (this was Emma’s answer and I concur)

more general: 

51. eating: Nothing, but I did have spag bol for din dins.

52. drinking: Watah

53. i’m about to watch: Nothing. I’m about to go to bed.

54. waiting for: Someone to magically transfer me $10,000 lolololol

55. want: To not have so much goddamn anxiety.

56. get married: Maybe, one day.

57. career: God, idk. I get bored very easily so I don’t think I could ever have a solid career.

which is better:

58. hugs or kisses: hugsies

59. lips or eyes: eyes

60. shorter or taller: Eh

61. older or younger: Older, I guess, but I can’t go any more than a couple years younger.

62. nice arms or stomach: Eh

63. hookup or relationship: Relationship, I suppose. It’s not something I think about.

64. troublemaker or hesitant: ...Both? 

have you ever:

65. kissed a stranger: nope

66. drank hard liquor: Yes, bring on the fireball.

67. lost glasses: lol yeah

68. turned someone down: Yes.

69. sex on first date: One would need to go on a date for this to ever happen. 

70. broken someones heart: Maybe, I don’t think so, though.

71. had your heart broken: A little.

72. been arrested: Nope

73. cried when someone died: No, I’m heartless (jk). But um, actually, I’m pretty good at shoving down tears when I need to, so...

74. fallen for a friend: Naahhhh

do you believe in:

75. yourself: Lol not really

76. miracles: Eh

77. love at first sight: Maybe for some people, but it will never happen to me. 

78. santa clause: Why am I questioning Santa’s existence? Of course he’s fucking real, gosh.

79. kiss on a first date: ...Yes? idk man

80. angels: Misha Collins is real, so, yeah.

other:

81. best friend’s name: Erin, Natalie, Cassie

82. eye color: Green

83. favorite movie: Many. If I had to choose though, Moulin Rouge.

84. fave actor: Misha Collins. Hands down.

where’s the 85th you little shit (Emma also said this and, once again, I concur)

@saltnhalo

[prince-consort-erik]

85 Questions Tag

i ignore like everything i get tagged in, but two people tagged me and I’m bored so eh here we goooo i was tagged by @illeaslockedbluebox and @theheirofillea

THE LAST

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my mom... as always

3. text message: sent would be my dad, received would be a coupon

4. song you listened to: Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato

5. time you cried: idk yesterday probably

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on: thank god no

9. lost someone special: Yes

10. been depressed: lmao don’t even get me started. January through June was a bitch

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Rose gold

13. emerald

14. purple IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: yes!!

16. fallen out of love: yep

17. laughed until you cried: yep

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. met someone who changed you: indeedo

20. found out who your friends are: *sigh* yep

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: i don’t even have a facebook lmao

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: see above

23. do you have any pets: YES three and they’re fucking mean to me

24. do you want to change your name: eh i thought about it, but nah too much work

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my birthday was like four days ago and we pretty much just had dinner and shit with the family because i have no friends

26. what time did you wake up: 11:30am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: writing fic

28. name something you can’t wait for: STAR WARS VIII

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like two hours ago

31. what are you listening to right now: Breaking Dawn Part I lmao

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: maybe?

33. something that is getting on your nerves: idk rain ig

34. most visited website: tumblr and A03

35. hair colour: brown

36. long or short hair: long

37. do you have a crush on someone: indeedo

38. what do you like about yourself: i think i have really nice boobs tbh i like that i don’t feel the need to spend a lot of money to look good

39. want any piercings: maybe another in my ear, but otherwise no

40. blood type: A- I think

41. nickname: Bertha

42. relationship status: Singleeee (hmu)

43. zodiac: Libra, bitches

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: probably Modern Family but otherwise I don’t watch a lot of TV

46. tattoos: nope, but I’m not against them

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: no surgery but i’ve gotten lots of stitches

49. piercing: none

50. sport: i like watching ice sports and... well, I’m not participating in anything rn but i’m taking ice skating this winter so

51. vacation: idk i don’t really like vacations tbh

52. pair of trainers: i just got these gorgeous white hightops (on sale fuck yeah)

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: i like all ze food

54. drinking: water is my hoe

55. i’m about to: reply to a hoe named anj

56. waiting for: to die (lol jk for money)

57. want: to write my fic but like effort

58. get married: yesss

59. career: student but i wanna be a software engineer

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: i’ve never been kissed but i’m not particularly fond of hugs

61. lips or eyes: eyes. always so unique and they’re hard to get wrong

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older just a bit

64. nice arms or nice stomach: ok most people don’t know this (actually anyone) but i have such a thing for nice arms. i don’t give a rat’s ass about stomach tho abs are nice-ish, give me arms

65. hook up or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant for sure

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: no

68. drank hard liquor: no

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no

70. turned someone down: i told someone i didn’t have snapchat once

71. sex on the first date: nO

72. broken someone’s heart: nope

73. had your heart broken: in a way

74. been arrested: no

75. cried when someone died: yes

76. fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: yes

78. miracles: yes

79. love at first sight: nah

80. santa claus: pshhh .... yea

81. kiss on the first date: eh if you want but not for me

82. angels: yes

OTHER

83. current best friend/tumblr best friend’s name: i don’t really have one but if i had to choose it’d be windy or ester

84. eye colour: Brown

85. favorite movie: fuck this i gotta say the classic mean girls

i tagggg: @book-and-comic-fangirl @the-selection-bitch @katharined

[newaddresssameoldloneliness]

ABOUT ME SURVEY

i’ve decided to complete this about me survey to let my followers know a bit more about me!!!! (if any of yall care anyway LOL) but feel free to do this for yourself i just got this online somewhere!! 

1. What is you middle name? Elizabeth

2. What is your zodiac sign? Libra

3. What is your favorite color? Orange

4. What’s your lucky number? i don’t got one

5. Do you have any pets? nope

6. Where are you from? right here in good ol michigan

7. How tall are you? 5′4″

8. What shoe size are you? 8.5

9. How many pairs of shoes do you own? at least forty. that’s how many i had last time i counted. i’m a shoe maniac

10. What was your last dream about? i can’t remember the one i had last night. i think it was about my hairdresser making pie and cookies or something weird like that.

11. What talents do you have? i play a bit of guitar, used to play trumpet for 6 years. i can sing pretty okay, as well as draw mediocrely 

12. Are you psychic in any way? i read tarot cards

IDK WHERE 13 THRU 14 WENT DONT LOOK AT ME

15. Favorite song? right now it’s the last of the real ones by fall out boy!!

16. Favorite movie? drive, the nice guys, superbad, sex drive, silence of the lambs, hellraiser, uhhhh that’s it

17. Who would be your ideal partner? uhmmmmmmm at this point. MYSELF

18. Do you want children? not my own

19. Do you want a church wedding? nooooooooooooo

20. Are you religious? no

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? hasn’t everyone?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope. knock on wood pls

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? nope nope nope justin bieber was in central park one time when i was though aaaaaand emma roberts&evan peters were seeing a show on broadway like a block down from where i was seeing a show on broadway at the same time. RIP

24. Baths or showers? Showers only please

25. What color socks are you wearing? grey and green but normally i HATE SocKS

26. Have you ever been famous? No

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Nope

28. What type of music do you like? Everything except country really

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One under my head and my body pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my right side

32. How big is your house? it’s a condo and its small af

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? depends on the day but i always have breakfast. yogurt, cereal, bagel, etc

34. Have you ever fired a gun? no

35. Have you ever tried archery? no, want to

36. Favorite clean word? aesthetically i like the word “iridescent” 

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? maybe 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars? Yes from my surgery

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? uh no

41. Are you a good liar? Yes

42. Are you a good judge of character? Yes

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? i can do an australian accent sometimes. sometimes a german one. and sometimes french. 

44. Do you have a strong accent? a strong midwestern accent

45. What is your favorite accent? i like the one i have

46. What is your personality type? INFP? i think

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? yall gonna fuckin steal it if i say. jk probably my micheal kors coat.

48. Can you curl your tongue? no

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

50. Left or right handed? Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? Only the poisonous ones

52. Favorite food? chicken

53. Favorite foreign food? sushi or mediterranean/middle eastern garlic chicken 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? i’m clean but cluttered as i say

55. Most used phrased? RIP

56. Most used word? i tend to say “like” a lot

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? depends on the situation. i can be ready in 5 minutes or 3 hours.

58. Do you have much of an ego? yeahhhhhhh...............

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck 60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes

62. Are you a good singer? I’m not that bad. like. okayish. some songs i can do pretty well

63. Biggest Fear? drowning probably. or small spaces

64. Are you a gossip? hmmyeahhhh

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? CLOSER!

66. Do you like long or short hair? longgggg

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? and their capitals

68. Favorite school subject? i loved anatomy&physiology

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No i can’t fucking swim i’ll die

71. What makes you nervous? meeting new people

72. Are you scared of the dark? hell yeah tf

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes depending the situation and who it is

74. Are you ticklish? Yes

75. Have you ever started a rumor? not intentionally

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? uh no

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes 

78. Have you ever done drugs? yea not anymore

79. Who was your first real crush? this kid in my class in middle school like everyone probably lmao

80. How many piercings do you have? my ears only

81. Can you roll your Rs? yes

82. How fast can you type? i used to do like 100 a while ago but i’ve slowed to like 75 or 80

83. How fast can you run? Im lazy i don’t run

84. What color is your hair? natural blonde here but its GREEN

85. What color is your eyes? greeeeeeeennnn

86. What are you allergic to? fucking BEES, POLLEN, and CATS

87. Do you keep a journal? i used to

88. What do your parents do? dad’s a machinist mom works on trains

89. Do you like your age? Yes

90. What makes you angry? everything

91. Do you like your own name? i used to hate it but i’m ok with it now

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? uh no because i don’t anticipate having biological children.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? doesn’t matter.

94. What are you strengths? uhmmmmmmmmmmmm im stubborn so sometimes thats good

95. What are your weaknesses? i can get emotional quite a bit

96. How did you get your name? i was named after Erin from the Waltons cuz my parents loved that show

97. Were your ancestors royalty? nope

99. Color of your bedspread? uhmmmmmm blue

100. Color of your room? purple