#jk hehe water/dark

[taestefully-in-luv]

Our Time | JJK (Six)

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Word Count: 10.4k

Warnings: ANGSTY chapter ahead. swearing, frustrations of amnesia, detailed descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, mentions of blood, mentions of child abduction, lots of crying, confrontation, allusions to infidelity within marriage, feelings of betrayal, mention of suicide/death, obvious alcoholism, umm I think that’s it.

a/n: happy valentines day💕 (I haven’t slept yet so its still vday for me hehe) this is not a romantic chapter at all but I hope you still enjoy it. Thanks for those who have been patiently waiting for this chapter since ive been dealing with a lot lately. Well, I hope you guys enjoy and  please let me know what you think! Send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat :]

© taestefully-in-luv

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Generally speaking, light can serve as a symbol of life.

When there is light, it touches and beautifully blinds with bright, shimmering hope. But for you, your eyes have cast any ray of shining light away. And your entire view has been enveloped in the arms of darkness.

If light is a symbol of life but you and your soul are being carried on a ferry across the river of Styx towards the underworld…then is it safe to assume you are no longer living?

Have you truly died on the inside?

And this is your stygian reality?

Because now, in your world, light no longer exists.

You’re thankful for those people who know how to naturally calm others down. Those people who remain collected during a crisis. Those people who can snap someone out of there demise even when they’re rattled as well. Those people who remind you to breathe even when they’ve forgotten.

Well, Subin is not one of those people.

“He knows we’re coming, right?” Subin aggressively tries to exit the parking lot of the market, her eyes going everywhere yet you aren’t so sure she’s even seeing properly. 

“I—I talked to the nurse, s-she said to come now. The doctor should be free…fuck, I hope.” You look out the window, your head spinning while your chest grows tighter and tighter. 

Breathing with calm, even breaths is hard. 

It’s even harder because Subin is tense, her fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel as she tries to catch her own breath.

She’s always been the type to cry when others cry. Panic when other’s panic. So on and so forth.

You try your hardest to take a breath before speaking, “Can you drive?” You rest the side of your head against the window, your vision looking blurrier and darker. “J-Just pull ov—”

“—Shit, I’m so sorry, y/n.” Subin’s voice shakes, her eyes trying so hard to stay focused on the road. “I’m okay. I’m okay. You’re okay?” She quickly glances at you, “You’re okay, right?”

You rest your palm against your rapid heart, eyes squeezing shut at the pain and discomfort your chest is feeling. You need to breathe. Relax. 

“I-I’m fine.” You say as composed as you possibly can. “Water? Water? Do you…do you have water in here…?” You tiredly lean your head back, chest rising and falling quickly. “I feel sick.”

“Sick?” Subin clears her throat, though she’s panicking herself, she tries to get her shit together. “Like how?” She glances at you again, “I think there’s a bag behind your seat. Throw up in it if you need to….”

“Water, Subin.” You feel your throat closing in on you, “Do you have—”

“—Um,” Subin keeps one hand on the steering wheel while the other frantically feels the sides and below her car seat. “I think there’s a bottle…” She continues to search, the car slightly swerving but you hardly notice. “Here!”

You manage to open your eyes, sudden relief filling your veins when you see a half empty bottle of water. Subin pushes it towards you before she’s urging you to have some.

“Drink slowly.” She keeps a worried eye on you while driving as quickly as she can to the hospital. 

The moment water begins trickling down your throat, you feel the dizziness that’s consumed you start to subside.

With half of that bottle of water in your system, your vision is less blurry and less dark.

Literally speaking, darkness doesn’t have a veil over your eyes any longer.

But figuratively speaking, not even an ounce of light shines in your world at all.

You still can’t breathe. Because how could you?

How could you with the knowledge you currently have?

You’re convinced you’re having a heart attack…Doctor Lee, however, isn’t convinced about that.

“You’re just panicking.” He tells you softly, his eyes trained on your expressions. “It’s okay. This is completely normal, y/n.”

You quickly shake your head, refusing to accept that it’s only your emotions here that are the problem.

“This is normal…” He reminds you again, a gentle hand patting your back. “Once you accept that this is normal, it’ll get easier to control it. You’re overwhelmed and that’s okay.”

“I-I can’t breathe.” You manage to tell him, fingers tugging at the collar of your shirt. You wish you could tear off your clothes, your skin, all the feelings that bombard you.

“You can breathe.” Doctor Lee brings his hand towards his own body, he motions upward now with both hands as he urges you to inhale deeply. “You’re breathing right now. You’ve been breathing this whole time…even when it was hard, you’re still breathing, y/n.”

He’s…right. Since the market, since the car, since waiting for Doctor Lee to show up in this tiny room—you’ve been breathing the entire time.

You try to nod, swallowing hard but it hurts. 

Actually, it seems the physical pain is disappearing while emotional pain begins to sink it’s teeth into you. Pain is pain, you realize. 

“Good,” Doctor Lee keeps his focus on you, “Can you give me a deep breath?”

You nod, trying your hardest to inhale a breath but it’s sharp and poisoned.

Your eyes slam shut, your entire body closing in on itself. 

“Try to let go of a long breath for me,” Doctor Lee’s voice is soothing, “Feel everything. Gather all of it…and let it go with a long, long breath. Can you do that?”

Feel everything and let it go? How could you do that?

“I can’t.” You shake your head, eyes still slammed shut. “I just can’t.”

“You can.” He tells you, voice still calm. “I’m not asking you to sort through all your emotions right now and just let them go. No,” Doctor Lee sighs out for a moment before he’s pulling his chair out right in front of you and taking a seat. “I’m just asking you to recognize you have them and release them for a moment. That way you can gain more strength for when you eventually have to grab them again. You can’t get stronger if the panic you feel burdens you, y/n. Let’s breathe…” 

You open your teary eyes, teeth digging into your bottom lip as harsh breaths make your entire body grow weaker. Doctor Lee looks pleased just at the fact you’ve opened your eyes. He nods his head with a tender smile before he starts breathing with you. In and out. Slow and rest assuring. 

You aren’t sure how long it takes for you to have calm breaths again.

Doctor Lee doesn’t rush you. He gives you time and space to collect yourself. He’s aware that you are here because some memories have flooded your brain. And he’s aware that it had you drowning. He has told you countless times to reach out to him the moment something like this begins. You guess he anticipated this kind of reaction. 

“Just in case, I still want to run some tests. I’ll get nurse Choi to do labs.” Doctor Lee is scribbling onto his clipboard, but his eyes are still on you. “I know today has been scary for you but I’m sure your results will be fine. It’s always better to be a little more precautious, don’t you think?”

Your limbs are weak, draped over this uncomfortable chair as you give Doctor Lee a noncommittal nod. All of your energy has been drained from your body. Leaving you weak and helpless.

Doctor Lee’s pen comes to a slow stop, his lips turning down as he eyes you. “Hey,” He calls out slowly, your eyes barely lifting to him. “I’m afraid it’s going to be like this…overwhelming. Scary. Emotionally, physically draining.”

You stare at him with empty eyes.

“But this is a good sign, y/n….” He says and you can tell he isn’t necessarily happy to say it. “Your memories are in there and they’re going to start leaking out…and it won’t always be easy.”

You muster what little energy you have to scoff to yourself, “No kidding.”

“It just…it means that the chances of all your memory returning is a lot greater. They can all return to you.” He says much softer. You don’t respond though, making Doctor Lee sigh out in defeat before he’s placing the clipboard down. “This first time will probably be the hardest. It’s the first time you’re receiving new information.”

Your eyes meet his when he says that. Your brows slowly pull together as you think about it. “Well, kind of.” You admit to him. “I remembered a cat…” the space between your eyebrows creases further as you try to make things make sense in your head. “Actually…I have a question.”

Doctor Lee nods immediately, his attentive eyes on you. “What is it?”

“Is it possible to remember some things but not others?” You ask, but shake your head as soon as you ask it. “I mean…for example, I remember a cat that I shouldn’t remember. I only remember the cat though. I don’t remember anything else about the timeline of this cats life. You know, the things happening around this cat.”

Doctor Lee furrow his own brows, trying his best to make sense of what you’re asking.

You try to explain further, “I remember this cat. But I don’t remember that at the same time as this cat, I was also married.”

It seems it finally clicks, his mouth falling a little open as he nods. “I understand.”

“It’s just…the thing I remembered today…I remember certain details but there’s so much still missing.” You pause, the gloomy pressure once again in your chest but you take a deep breath. “Is it…” You meet Doctors Lee’s gaze again. “Is it possible that my brain blocked out an entire person in my memory? But I…” You can feel the tightness returning. “I….I have memory of this person existing within things but I don’t have actualrecollection of this per—person.” 

You shouldn’t feel ashamed the moment you see Doctor Lee’s eyes fill with pity.

“You know,” He clears his throat, blinking away the pity he feels for you. “The brain is truly such a complex thing. Your memories might come to you with no warning and things might not always make sense. Eventually, you might be able to piece some together. And yeah, I’d say it’s entirely possible not to have all the knowing details when you remember an event.”

“Then—”

“—But don’t be discouraged that things will always stay that way. Like you’re going to live your life solving some puzzle.”

Your eyes sting the moment he says that. You’re realizing how true that feels for you…like you’re just a player apart of some game. But you aren’t even sure you have all the puzzle pieces to even play. 

“As overwhelming as it is, this is a good sign. Your memories will most likely return. And maybe even soon.”

You realize he’s saying this as if it’s a positive. 

But you aren’t so sure that you even want them to return anymore.

“It might take Nurse Choi a little while to get your labs started…she’s doing some rounds right now.” Doctor Lee takes a look at his watch, “But I can grab your friend from the waiting room if you’d like me to? You’d be less bored waiting in here.” He smiles.

Though you cannot return his smile, you agree.

~

You know Subin is in this tiny room with you. You watched when one of the nurses brought her in. But even still, you jump in your chair when she calls out for you. Her worried eyes glued to you but you’ve barely noticed. Too busy sorting through the things you’ve seen in your head.

“Are you…” Subin’s voice is delicate over the harsh and rough thumping of your heartbeat. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You are okay. Because you weren’t experiencing a heart attack.

But are you okay? No, not at all.

You keep staring at nothing and Subin can do nothing but worry in the chair next to you. Her eyes anxiously darting around while you tap your foot against the floor impatiently. 

“y/n…” Subin says your name softly, her concern overflowing. “You—”

“—Exactly.” You give a curt nod, “They must be real.”

Subin frowns when she realizes you aren’t listening to her.

“They have to be real because…” You tear your gaze away from the abyss and bore your eyes into Subin’s. “She said my name, Subin.”

Subin tilts her head, gears working in her head but her confusion only grows. “What?”

“I just…” You drop your eyes back to the floor, focusing on nothing again. “I keep thinking that maybe my brain is making up the things I saw in my head.” You say quietly, your words feeling heavy on your tongue. “It wouldn’t be a first time…” You try to reason, more to yourself. You recall the boat, the lake, the scream, the shadow…what was real and what wasn’t? “I keep trying to think that my brain is just throwing out theories again.”

Subin shifts in the uncomfortable chair, “What…what do you mean?”

You sigh, a hand rubbing at your face tiredly. “I’m thinking of reasons.”

“Reasons?”

You drop your hand to your lap, an uneasy expression falling over your face as you glance at your friend. “A reason not to hate Jungkook.” 

Subin’s eyebrows immediately pinch together, “W-Why?”

You close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to take a deep breath. You hate that your heart feels miserable in your body right now. It’s screaming and it’s crying. Your heart’s loud, pathetic sobs are bouncing off the walls of your ribcage and you don’t know what to do to put it to rest. 

“I have nothing.” You whisper. A heavy feeling begins clinging to you like a cloak you cannot shrug off. “I have no excuses for him.” Your voice cracks, eyes still closed. “I know why I blame him for Haru and I know why we divorced.”

“What? Why?” Subin is suddenly more alert. You hear the way her chair screeches across the tile as she brings herself closer to you. “Are you sure? What…what is it?”

You finally open your eyes, head tilted back as you stare up at the ceiling now. “Nabi.”

It’s silent for a moment. You wonder if Subin heard you or not so you finally turn your head to face her but she looks even more confused.

“Nabi?” She finally gets the name out in question. She tries to think about it but after a moment she gives up. “Who’s that?”

“The girl from that café you like.” You tell her, “She was our server the first time we went together.” 

Subin sits back in her chair, her brain trying to understand what you’re saying. “Okay…a girl from the café is why—”

“—I knew I knew her.” You cut her off, eyes going back to nothing as you focus on Nabi. “She was so familiar and I had no clue why. But she said we didn’t know each other. And I am almost so certain she never heard my name.”

Subin shakes her head, leaning towards you. “And then what?”

“Then I ran into her at the store and I saw so many things.” You get the words out quickly and stop just as fast. You saw a lot of things. Too many things. “I…” You try to speak again but your throat is burning and you heart is crying again.

“You think she had something to do with Haru?” Subin asks you, concern clear in her voice. 

“I…” You pause again. Your chest is feeling tight all over again but you can’t risk losing your ability to breathe now. “She also has to do with my failing marriage.” You keep your eyes low.

“Your marr…” Subin’s words get quieter before her hand goes to your shoulder, “Are you saying that Jungkook knows her?”

You scoff, trying your best to remain calm. But your voice betrays you, “Considering he was cheating on me with her then yeah, I-I would say so.” 

You’re startled when Subin is standing from her chair, concerned eyes forcing themselves to you, “Woah, woah. You don’t really think…” She shakes her head, rejecting the entire idea. “No, you are not saying Jungkook—”

“—I don’t want to be saying that, Subin.” You snap at her, your eyes growing watery as your voice shakes. “But that’s what I’ve—I’ve seen. M-my brain showed me so much and that’s why I…why I keep thinking maybe they aren’t actual memories. That I don’t actually know her.” You feel you are starting to lose control again, your breaths coming out faster. “But Subin,” Your face twists and your heartache is seen. “She said my name. She knows my name. She knows who I am.” 

Subin takes a seat again, unsure of what to say.

“If we know each other…then it means maybe what I saw was…” You swallow hard but not choking on your words is fucking hard. “It was m-maybe real then.”

“But I mean…are you really sure though?” Subin rests a hand over your shoulder. “I’m sorry but…is what you’re seeing…you know, reliable?”

You feel yourself grow weak and small in this chair. Your body slumping over and slightly sliding down as you try to think of a proper response.

“I mean,” Subin’s fingers give you a comforting squeeze, “I’m not saying we shouldn’t trust what you’ve seen…but it’s a tricky situation.”

You know you are dying inside. Truly, even if a flickering light that might have been keeping you alive until this moment has shut off. Because you wish you could agree with her and let that thought alone comfort you. But again, you aren’t ignorant. And you won’t start now.

“No, they’re memories.” You tell her, eyes on the ground. “I know they are. I feel them.”

Subin’s hand drops from your shoulder, a sad and soft ‘oh’ spills quietly from her mouth. 

You try to straighten up in the chair, letting a deep sigh roll off your body. “But until I talk to Jungkook…I can’t really confirm it. Even though I know. I need to talk to him.”

“Can I…” Subin scoots her chair closer to you again, the legs pushed against the legs of your chair. “Can I ask what you saw? Why you think that…that Jungkook was having an affair? And what does it…” She softly trails off, her voice clearly unsure.

“And what it has to do with Haru?” You finally face your friend with sad, blood shot eyes. “He was with herwhen Haru was supposed to get p-picked up.” You continue to stare at Subin, her heart breaking when she sees how you try to hold back tears. “Isn’t it crazy that I know that? That I know about Haru? But I don’t fucking…” You stop when your throat burns too much, words refusing to leave your mouth. You fight through it regardless and finish what you are saying with broken words and a broken heart. “B-But I don’t f-fucking know him?”  

Subin eyes you with pity and you’re sure you’ve received this all before.

“I remember seeing them together. Multiple o-occasions.” You admit to your friend, voice shaky. “It’s hard to tell though…from my memory if it was in person or pictures, videos, I don’t know. I know I confronted him and he just…” Your expression twists miserably. “He could n-never prove to me that my assumptions weren’t—weren’t right.”

“But that doesn’t me—”

“—M-Motel rooms…so many f-fucking secrets, Subin.” You finally properly choke on your words because of a quiet sob in your throat. “A pregnancy test?”

“A what?” Subin’s face falls, “A preg—no, maybe you—”

“As much as I want to believe Jungkook w-wouldn’t…” You slam your eyes shut and finally, several warm tears manage to fall from your closed lids. “But there is so much evidence against him and he could n-never fucking prove...”

“Okay, okay.” Subin’s sweet voice turns even more soothing, her hand returning to your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, y/n.” She whispers, “Seriously…I wish this wasn’t…”

“No,” You straighten up again, your hands desperately wiping at your face. “I won’t mourn y-yet when I haven’t talked to Jungkook.” 

Because somehow…even with your bones screaming the truth at you.

You still want to believe in him.

At least until you are forced not to.

~~~

Subin parks right in front of your house, her worried eyes going between you and Jungkook’s car that is also parked here. 

“We left for the grocery store and came back emptyhanded…” Subin nibbles her lips, her concern growing. “What if he’s like ‘why don’t you have my chips?’ or something…” 

You slowly turn your head to eye Subin, eyes narrowing at her before you deadpan, “Then I’ll just ask him why he cheated on me.” 

Subin’s mouth immediately falls open.

“Or something.” You say before unbuckling your seatbelt. “Anyway, thanks for taking me to the hospital…might end up there again,” You glance out the window towards your home. “Depending how this conversation goes…” 

“y/n…” Subin’s hand lands on your shoulder, stopping you from opening the passenger door to get out, “I just…want to say again how sorry I feel…” Her hand slowly drops when she notices your distant gaze and then she quietly clears her throat. “I hope it’s not what you think but regardless…I’m here for you.”

You finally meet her eye and you can see her sincerity but the best you can do for her right now is give her a small nod of appreciation before you’re opening the door. 

And even though the car door feels heavier than you recall, you still get it open. But your body almost refuses to move. Once again, your brain is sending signals. Telling your body not to go in there. Because you won’t like it. Your brain, mocking you again. Keeping secrets from you because it’s playing some kind of sick and twisted game. 

You’d think your brain was helping you, because of all the signals, but you know that isn’t the case. You know it’s just trying to get a scare out of you because why else would it keep your memories away if not to play with you?

“Hey,” Subin calls out softly, “You can do this…”

And she’s right. You can.

~

Walking through your front door, you have to keep reminding yourself silently over and over to stay strong. Though the urge to break down, falling to the floor while misery consumes you wholly is strong but you don’t. Because you can’t. It would be a bit premature to have the full on meltdown your body is begging for because you still need to face Jungkook.

The moment you close the front door and begin slipping your shoes off, your nose is suddenly invaded with a savory aroma. You glance up, eyes in the direction of the kitchen when you finally realize Jungkook must be cooking. It smells good, you guess. But no matter what is cooking in the kitchen, it’s not good enough to take away any of the pain you are currently feeling.

“y/n?” You hear your name being called. Jungkook’s voice is one you’re used to, one you find comfort in, one you love—so why did you flinch? Why is your body warning you? Signals from your brain again? That fucking dickhead brain of yours. You stand up straight again, eyes still in the direction of the kitchen when you try to take one long, deep breath. 

“y/n!” You flinch again. Frozen in your spot, unable to make your feet mood forward. You stare at the wall ahead and anticipate Jungkook turning the corner and seeing you. You anticipate seeing his face and you anticipate the instant dread you will feel upon seeing him. 

“y/n!” He sings your name cutely this time. 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

You finally let out an incredibly shallow breath because Jungkook finally appears from the kitchen, his face lit up in excitement when he meets your eye. 

“Hey!” He walks towards you, his hand sliding across the top of the sofa as he gets closer, his eyes glancing around. “Subin in the bathroom or something?”

You need to breathe.

“—Well, since you’re making me my favorite homemade cookies,” He continues chatting with a grin, excited glint so obvious in his eyes. “Which are a dessert. I figured I could make dinner.” He turns to look towards the kitchen, sheepish expression on his face. “I’ve made this dish a hundred times but…” He turns to meet your eye again, his hand lifting to scratch the back of his neck, “Only after we were married. So it will be new for you. But um,” He looks down, sheepish smile still on his face. “It’s actually Haru’s favorite.” 

You haven’t moved a single muscle. 

You haven’t said a word.

You have barely had an audible breath.

Still, Jungkook looks happy in his own world when he brings up your son.

Your son that you can’t even remember. 

“I figure I could share some more stories tonight…about us, Haru…” Jungkook keep his eyes on his feet, still scratching the back of his neck. Almost looking shy. “Well, of course if you think you c…could…” Jungkook trails off when he finally lifts his eyes towards you but he isn’t met with same you that left for the store a few hours ago. He’s met with a you that he almost recognizes. Like he’s seen this expression before. On the you, that only he really knows.

“y/n?” His brows slightly pinch together, confusion draping over his features. “Are you…” He glances around again, “Where’s Subin? And where’s the things from the store?” 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

You didn’t realize you were capable of being a coward.

You want to move your feet. You want to open your mouth to speak. Hell, you want to blink. But you aren’t capable of anything. Except being a fucking coward. 

Because you are afraid. You’re terrified. For more reasons than you can count. 

You’re imprisoned, once again.

“Hey,” Jungkook studies your face, his concern evident. “What’s going on?” 

Feeling a bit hesitant, Jungkook still walks closer to you. His concern only growing because you still don’t move, you still don’t make a sound, you still stare at him with wide eyes. 

You stare at him and you only have one repeated thought that wanders around in your head. How easy would it be? How easy would it be to live ignorantly? The thing you have always refused to do. How easy would it be? How easy would it be to pretend your ‘memories’ are just theories that you brain is throwing out for fun? How easy to only trust Jungkook. And not yourself. 

“y/n…” Jungkook’s eyes fill with worry. “Are you…” He lifts a hand towards you and you watch as it rises towards your face but your entire body jolts when you hear a loud slapping sound. Your dry lips finally part and you’re blinking repeatedly. You shoot your eyes to Jungkook’s face, only to see his expression completely twisted. 

He stands frozen in front of you, hand still hangs in the air as his eyebrows pull together and his jaw hangs slack. 

Your eyes go from his face to his hand when you lower your eyes to stare at your own hand.

You slapped his hand away. 

Your brain sent signals to your body and that was the result.

So, no. To answer your question—it wouldn’t be fucking easy.

You both stand here, shocked by your own action. 

Jungkook’s confusion only grows deeper, his hand slowly lowering to his side again when he takes a small step back. “Oh.” He says softly, the hurt is in his voice and it makes you wince. Or cringe. You aren’t sure which. 

You try to open your mouth so words can force their way out but instead you notice the feeling of pins and needles start to poke at your skin. Your fingers, your toes, your lips. Confused, you bring your fingers to your mouth, fingers barely grazing over your bottom lip where it tingles uncomfortably. You drop your hand, curling your fingers in and out as you try to make sense of what’s happening. 

You stare down at yourself, your chest rising and falling quickly.

When did you start breathing again?

And when did you start breathing this rapidly?

You glance around, feeling trapped because you’re sure this room is closing in on you. Everything is beginning to feel close and suffocating, like the walls are inching closer and closer, caging you in so you can suffer. Harsh, heavy breaths are pushing past your lips now. Panicked eyes going everywhere but Jungkook. Your throat…it’s closing in on you. Just like your walls. Your throat is growing smaller and smaller, your hands quickly flying to your neck and chest, as you touch yourself desperately. 

“y/n.” Jungkook is in front of you again, his eyes totally focused on you and his worried eyes grow antsier. “Hey, what is happening?” His voice sounds rushed, panicked even. “Talk to me.”

You can’t talk though. You can’t swallow your own spit. You can’t even breathe. 

“y/n.” Jungkook reaches for you again, both his hands on your arms but you flinch immediately, your blown out eyes landing on him when you shove him off.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You scream out, voice shrill and uneven. “D-Don’t fucking touch me, Jungkook.” You take several wobbly steps back, your breaths still rough and rapid. 

Jungkook’s hands hang in the air, holding nothing but the ghost of your body he once knew. 

His eyes are boring into the empty space and you see how utterly hurt he looks. 

But you don’t have it in yourself to feel compassion for his confusion. Because right now, you only see Nabi’s face in your mind, along with Jungkook’s right next to her. 

You wish you could control how your mind and body are feeling right now because if it were up to you, you would be calm and confronting Jungkook with ease because you are supposed to trust him. But you can’t control your anxiety, your panic or your dread.

Slowly lowering his arms, Jungkook tries to find your eyes with his and you notice the fear plaguing them. “y/n…” He tries your name, the word falling soft and cautious from his lips. “What’s going on?”

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, tingly lips and fingers making you feel even more strange as quick breaths force their way out of you. You need to relax. Fucking relax. You need to get it together so you can dismiss the images in your brain and fall into the arms of the man in front of you because you love him and you trust him. That’s right. Get this conversation over with so you can move on. Because surely, your brain is wrong.

“Um,” You pry your eyes open but your vision is a bit blurry from unfallen tears. “Okay…” You take several deep breaths, trying your hardest so you’ll be able to speak.

“Take your time.” Jungkook says in a whisper. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

You will be okay. You hope.

“Jungkook.” Your chest still rises and falls with each deep breath. “I-I have to…” You pause, tongue darting out to lick your dry lips. “I…I ran into Nabi at the store.”

Your words aren’t rushed as you say them, in fact, everything feels slow. Even Jungkook’s eyes widening and the fear inside them only grow fiercer seems to happen slowly. Like, the world around you is in slow motion until suddenly it’s not. Jungkook’s eyes quickly shoot down to the wooden floors as you see his mind working in overdrive.

“I know who she is.” You find the courage to say, “I ran into her before…she s-seemed familiar. But today, I suddenly got mem—”

“—What did you see?” Jungkook quickly looks at you again, panic written all over his face. “You probably didn’t—”

“—Did you cheat on…did you ch…” You stop, the words too painful as they sit on your tongue like a knife slicing it apart. “J-Jungkook were you having an—”

“—No!” Jungkook suddenly walks closer to you, his hands desperate to reach for you but he doesn’t. Perhaps, he’s afraid you’ll slap them away again. “Fuck, y/n, I—”

You see his anxiety clear as day and somehow it only makes you feel worse. Your breaths grow slower and something close to despair throws its arms around you and holds you close. “Jungkook,” You don’t want to ask it. You don’t want the answer. “Were…were you with her when Haru was taken?”

Jungkook’s rolls his lips until they’re set in a firm line across his face, his eyes closing for a brief moment and you notice regret sticking to him. 

“Were you?” You repeat.

He opens his eyes again and with a quiet voice, he finally responds. “Yes.”

You suck in a sharp breath, but you try to remain as calm as possible. “Okay.” You give a curt nod, “And…have you gone to motels with her?”

He glances up briefly,  jaw clenching, “Yes.”

A stab to your chest, “Okay. B-Before Haru was taken…were…” Your throat burns like acid sticks to the walls, “Were we having problems in our m-marriage?”

Jungkook’s expression twists, scrunching in panic, perhaps. “Yes.” He admits with a shaky voice. 

You give a small nod before asking the question that makes or breaks this. “Were you seeing her because of a case?”

Jungkook immediately looks at you, wide, panicked eyes and you see how they fill with tears. His mouth drops open but only a shallow breath comes out. You wait for his answer. Need his answer. He quickly shuts his mouth, head turning to the side as you see him struggle to even look at you now, “No.” He finally says, the word pushed out as if he was in agony. And maybe he is. 

He said no. 

And just like that, you have your answer. Just like the past, he offers nothing more to ease your mind. No proof that there isn’t an affair happening. You stare at him. Lips parted and eyes blinking slowly. 

Your breaths are calm. But you feel weak. Like his simple answer drained every bit of life out of your body. You almost wish you could scream, cry or even through something from the rage that must be inside you. 

But it feels like there is nothing inside you. 

This betrayal only has you feeling empty.

“You…” Your voice cracks, thick tears bubbling over and falling from your eyes. “You were…”

“y/n.” Jungkook finally looks at you again and he sounds terrified. “Please, please, I am begging you, to please trust—”

“—Trust you? Fine.” You cry out, “Tell me exactly what was going on then. Tell—Tell me everything!” You take a step forward, your voice clearly begging. “Explain the fuck-fucking situation, Jungkook. So I can fucking believe you.” 

Jungkook stares at you, confliction in his eyes like how you’ve gotten used to. 

“You can’t, right?” You scoff, tears wetting your warm cheeks. “You couldn’t then either. Y-You just can’t fucking tell me the truth, right?”

Jungkook finally breaks. His lips twisting, eyes shutting in frustration and you see his own tears. “y/n please…” He begs too, his hands going to his face, rubbing his tired eyes. “Fuck, please…you need to just….y/n…please just,” He chokes on his words, a quiet sob in his throat. “I can’t d-do this again, please…I can’t do this y/n.” He cries into his hands. “I fucking can’t. I can’t. Fuck fucking everything.” 

You watch as he cries for himself. Feeling bad for himself. Pity for himself. Instead of being honest with you, he does this. 

“Please trust me. Don’t trust what you’re see—”

“—You’re asking me to trust you but not myself?” You ask in almost disbelief. You might not remember everything but it seems your feelings from that time are still so alive inside you. And that’s what you’re going to trust. “You want me to believe you but not believe prior accident me? That d-doesn’t sit right with me.” You tell him. 

“y/n…” He wipes at his eyes and his nose before trying to look at you, eyes afraid and pathetic, “Please don’t do this again…I can’t do this without you again,” He shakes his head, bottom lip quivering. “Please, my love.” 

You take a step back, feeling overwhelmed. “D-Don’t call me that.”

It feels strange to be called that by him. Strange yet familiar. And you thought the oddness that accompanied the term of endearment is because you just aren’t used to it yet. But really it’s because he isn’t supposed to be calling you that. Not anymore.

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, not an ounce of pain felt. “You know,” You cry out in a whisper, “I don’t remember everything. But,” You try to speak through your tears. “But this heartache feels all too familiar. You need to leave…”

And somehow the despair in Jungkook’s eyes and the terror and look of defeat on his face also feel all too familiar. 

Because you have both been through this before already.

~~~

It’s been a week since running into Nabi and confronting Jungkook. A week since you’ve cried. A week since you’ve felt anything rumbling inside your body. A week since you’ve left your house. A week since you’ve ate a proper meal. A week since you’ve felt anything beyond an empty despair. 

Lying in bed at dawn, you lazily poke at Haru’s robot, the cold plastic on your fingertips. You poke it in the chest, over and over, soft yet determined.

“Do you have a heart in there?” You quietly ask it, somehow disappointed when it doesn’t answer you. “You…” You softly grip the toy, bringing it closer to your chest when you sigh out. “You don’t sleep either, right?”

And in the last week, the only one you’ve really talked to is this robot. Haru’s robot. You believe the comfort you feel from talking and holding this toy is because deep down you feel its familiarity with it being your sons. But also, you find yourself relating to this robot. Both empty, skin cold like plastic and neither of you having the ability to sleep. Only the option to ‘shut down’. 

You glance towards the window, the sun rising again like it always does. And you wish it didn’t. You don’t want to see the sun, you don’t want to see any light. How could the world keep on going when for you, personally, it’s ended. 

Your phone has been going off all week, your friends and parents expressing their concern for your quiet mood. Your parents don’t necessarily know what’s going on but Misuk and Subin have a better idea, considering Subin was there for the first half. You have asked for space and you’ve manage to let them know every night that you’re still here. Even when you kind of don’t want to be.

Jungkook hasn’t reached out even once. 

You don’t want to talk to him but the fact that he’s quiet…it feels even more solidifying that he’s guilty. 

And the fact your heart is broken beyond repair and it is so completely familiar to you…tells you he’s been guilty since then.

It hurts. It hurts more than you ever thought possible. Because even with missing memories, you feel how badly this hurts. Even though you don’t fully recall your actual relationship, you feel it. How real it was. How beautiful it was. How tragic it was. 

You can feel the pain as if you actually never forgot it.

And that’s why you’re choosing to trust yourself.

You barely react when your phone goes off, eyes lazily sliding over to the device that lays abandoned on the other side of the bed. You debate checking it. But for whatever reason, you reach for it and see it’s only a text from Misuk asking if you’re free today. 

You aren’t necessarily ready to face anyone quite yet but still, you tell her yes. You have received a few more memories that you’re piecing together like a jumbled up story and you’d like to talk about them.

~

“Are you…” Misuk eyes you over, pity all over her face as she leans back into the sofa, “You know, eating?”

“Sometimes.” You shrug, “I made an iced coffee today if that counts.”

“It doesn’t.” Misuk sighs out, “Why don’t I order us something? Subin should be here any second so I don’t want to ask her to pick something up when she’s this close by.”

“If you’re hungry, sure.” You shrug again. You keep your eyes lowered, fingers picking at your cuticles. 

It’s only a few minutes later when Subin has joined you and Misuk on the couch. Her antsy hands running up and down her thighs as she waits for you to answer her question.

“So?” She softly urges you to respond.

“Yeah,” You reply quietly, eyes on your lap as you look completely detached from the conversation. “My memories were right, I guess.”

You hear Subin release a long breath before she curses, “Shit…”

You shrug, “I guess my miserable life before the accident continues, huh?” You chuckle bitterly, eyes losing focus on anything.

“At first you were.” Misuk whispers, “But lately you had gotten…I don’t know, maybe—”

“—Well, I’m actually probably more miserable than before. Because I have to rediscover everything and feel each little thing…one,” You start picking at your cuticles again, “By one.”

“y/n…” You can hear the pity in Subin’s voice.

“And this time, instead of feeling upset about my probably dead child, I can just feel guilty for not even remembering him. Mother of the year.” You rip back a piece of skin from the corner of your pinky, blood immediately pooling but you don’t care. You move to the next finger. 

“y/n.” Misuk says your name in shock, “You don’t believe that for one second.”

You snap your head up, “Believe what?”

“That Haru is—”

“—I don’t even fucking know him.” You spit out. “And maybe it’s best that I never—”

“—You don’t mean that!” Subin cuts in, a soft disappointment in her voice. “I know this is hard and…” She stops talking when you narrow your eyes at her.

“You know how hard this is? Oh, do you?” Your lips turn up at the corner before you nod your head, “This happened to you before? You know what I’m going through?”

“Hey,” Misuk’s voice is scolding, “You know what Subin means.”

“Do I?” You scoff. “Let’s be honest guys,” You look between the two of them. “Do either of you even know me anymore? Do I even know you anymore? You said it yourself,” You look back down to your hands, “We barely speak anymore.”

“We barely speak because of you.” Misuk points out coldly, “You shut us out. And you’re trying to do it again! Like, wow here we go again.”

Your brow arches, almost looking amused. “Again?” You spit the word out. “Well, sorry Misuk, sorry that things fucking suck and I’m not here smiling for you. Again. I barely recall the first time this all happened and you’re mad I’m fucking reacting. Mad that I’m mad. I’m sad. I’m fucking heartbroken!” You cry out the last line. “I love you but maybe let’s not act like a bitch when neither of you know what the fuck I’m going through, hm?” You raise your brows at her with icy eyes. 

Misuk’s brows furrow but you see something flash across her face. It’s not anger. You don’t even think she’s offended. Instead you see understanding. She slowly nods her head, glancing at Subin before she clears her throat. “Okay, I’m sorry.” She says quietly, “You’re right…you’re totally right and I’m sorry. I guess…” She pauses.

“We just miss you, y/n.” Subin continues for Misuk, “We’re afraid to lose you again. That’s all. But you’re right, you shouldn’t have to act like everything is okay when it’s not.”

Misuk nods, eyes searching for yours, “And it’s not.” She says softly, “I really am sorry.”

You continue to stare down at your lap, lips pressed into one another. 

“If you’re able…why don’t you tell us what you do remember?” Misuk tries to get you to open up again instead of shutting down. You know this. You want to answer…it’s why you let them come over in the first place.

You nod, eyes still lowered. “Okay.”

Subin reaches over and gives your shoulder a squeeze, “Whatever feels manageable. Don’t push yourself too much.”

Finally lifting your eyes towards your friends, you decide to fill them in. “I’ve been remembering a few things.” You admit. “Not actual memories? I don’t know how to explain it. Not…you know, movie scenes in my head but I remember certain things because it’s like…I just know.  Does…does that make sense? No, it probably doesn’t, right?” 

“Like you’re remembering facts rather than images?” Misuk asks and you immediately nod your head quickly.

“Yes!” You say with a bit of enthusiasm. “That’s exactly it. So, basically…just things I know about our—Jungkook and I’s—marriage.”

“Oh.” Subin’s eyes are eager to know more.

“Misuk was right. It was rocky.”

“I knew it.” Misuk curses, “You never really outright said it but…I kind of figured. You never were the type to admit something like that since you’re the type to solve things by yourself.” 

“I guess I didn’t really solve anything.” You feel your body grow heavier. “I asked Jungkook if things were rough before and he admitted that it was. Since then, it’s like little facts are showing up in my brain out of nowhere…like his admission unlocked some part of my memories or something…”

“Were you two just fighting a lot?” Subin asks.

You try to think about it. It’s not like you remember a specific argument but you know the answer is yes. “Yeah.”

“But you think he was having an affair with…” Misuk glances at Subin, “What was her name again?”

“Nabi.” You say. “But our problems were starting before that, I think. I know we were fighting all the time. I just know. I also know he was keeping things from me. He was barely home anymore and I felt…” You chew on your lips, unsure of what exactly it was since you don’t know everything. But one word keeps popping up in your mind. “Unfulfilled.” You say, the word somehow resonating with you like you’ve said it before.

“Yeah.” Misuk agrees quietly, “You mentioned something like that in the past…way before Haru’s kidnapping.”

“Misuk,” You suddenly find her eyes, “Why did I lead you to believe Jungkook was wronging me somehow?”

“You mentioned someone else.” She tells you, “But you didn’t give me any detail. But you were so…sureabout something and I believed you. Your expression.” Misuk frowns, “I knew something serious must have had occurred because I had never seen you like that.”

You glance back down at your lap, your focus on your hands again. “I see.” Then you lift your eyes again, “I remember that at that time I was suspicious of Jungkook. Of the affair. I know I dug deeper and found things that I wish I never had…” You recall the memories that hit you at the market. “Eventually I confronted him and just like now, he was unable to give me an explanation. And I was right.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Misuk huffs out, eyes going to the ceiling. “That’s terr—”

“—And he was with her. When Haru was taken. I don’t know how I know, but he was supposed to be picking Haru up from daycare. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to but I know that it was something I needed from him…something for him to do to make me feel like he was a part of this family. But he failed.” Your words grow quieter with each syllable. “And I know that for the first time in my life,” You stare at nothing, eyes growing watery. “That I hated someone. With my entire being.” 

It's quiet. Neither of your friends having the courage to say anything to your words. 

You try to clear your throat and blink back any tears in your eyes before looking at them again, “But still, so much doesn’t make sense and there’s so much still missing.” You feel your heart grow weaker as you chuckle humorlessly, “And Jungkook hasn’t tried to reach out to me even once…which just feels like more proof.” 

“I can’t imagine Jungkook even looking at someone who isn’t you…” Subin whispers, “He…well, I guess we don’t ever really know what goes on. I find it hard to hate him but seeing what he’s done to—"

“—I know I truly hated him then.” You cut her off with a shaky voice. “And I think I hate him now, too. But,” You search both of your friends eyes with desperation so depressing, “If I hate him this much it’s because I also,” You choke, “Love him this much too, right?” You ask the question so innocently and delicately as your voice cracks.

 You let yourself feel your own question and for the first time since a week ago—you cry. You let tears fall and you let your body break. “Because—Because I do. I love him so much that its hurting me. I…I can’t even b-breathe because I love him. I can’t—can’t sleep because I love him.” You shoulders shake as you sob loudly. Almost like a child. “I can’t remember my own child be—because I love him.” You slam your eyes shut, mouth hung open as you choke on your sobs. “My brain c-can’t show my memories because I love him. He’s—he’s the only thing my b-brain wants to think about.” 

At a loss for words, Misuk and Subin feel their hearts breaking in their chests. This is more devastating than the first time. They realize, you were right, this is more miserable.

~~~

It’s been three weeks since Jungkook has seen you. Since he’s seen you, his light. The only thing in this entire world that could possibly make him feel alive. The only thing in the entire universe that could make his heart beat again. You’re the only one keeping him from going insane or ending his own life. He had always held onto the hope that one day this will be behind you guys. 

And then he can touch you again, hold you again, openly love you again.

But mostly, for you to love him again. 

His apartment is how it always is, TV blaring with the news on. The blueish light illuminates his entire living room and lately it has been his only source of light. You, his true source, no longer rising in his sky. 

It’s around four in the afternoon when Jungkook’s phone starts going off, the vibrating making his coffee table buzz. He rubs his eyes with a fist before setting his nearly empty beer bottle down to the table and reaching for the device.

Jimin.

Jungkook rolls his eyes before answering, “I told you to leave me alone.” He slurs into the phone.

“Are you fucking drunk again?” Jimin doesn’t hide his disapproval. “Going to pull this shit again, Jungkook?”

“Fuck off, Jimin.” Jungkook brings the phone away from his face and ends the call. 

Not even ten seconds pass before his phone is buzzing again in his hands. He groans loudly as he answers it again, “What the fuck do you—”

“—Just fucking listen, you moron.” Jimin cuts in, “I’m already risking everything by being in contact with you. And now you’re back to your old ways.” He scoffs, “If you fuck this up, I swear I’ll come to your shit apartment and kick your ass myself.”

Jungkook drunkenly chuckles into the phone, “You don’t have to help—”

“—Help you?” Jimin scoffs again, “I’m not doing this for you and you know it.”

“Whatever,” Jungkook grumbles while reaching for his beer again and taking a swig, “What do you want?”

“Lee Jaesung.” Jimin says.

Immediately Jungkook leans forward on his couch, something more serious falling over his face before he asks, “What about him?”

“Well, he was the only thing getting us closer to this shit.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook sets the beer down again, “Does he have new information?”

“He’s dead.” Jimin informs with a bite to his tone, “Guy was found in his apartment. Apparent suicide.”

Jungkook grits his teeth, “Fucking bullshit.” 

“I know.” Jimin sighs, “You’ve been MIA and I need you to get your shit together if we’re going to—”

“—Count me out.” Jungkook slurs into the phone, “I’m done.”

Jimin is quiet for a moment before he’s chuckling into the phone, “You’re really back to this, huh? You’re sad, Jungkook. I told you years ago you were going to ruin your marriage. Didn’t I?”

Jungkook grips the edge of the couch cushion, eyes growing darker as he watches the bright TV screen. “Shut up.” He seethes, “Don’t bring up—”

“—You ruined your entire life you fucking drunk.” Jimin spits at him, “Fix your shit then call me.”

Jungkook keeps the phone to his ear despite the fact that Jimin has hung up. It slides down his cheek and eventually falls to the floor as he continues to stare at the bright screen of his TV. He is here again. And it’s not like he can’t not believe that he’s back to this because it never feels like he ever wasn’t like this. This is just who he is now. It’s the him that he knows. And when you woke up knowing the him he used to know…it almost felt like he could be that person again.

Having to tell you about Haru again…heartbreaking.

But having to see you experience that same betrayal and heartache…pure utter torture.

Jungkook drunkenly reaches for the TV remote and shuts it off, the room going completely dark. His closed blinds and heavy drapes block out the sun that isn’t you. He is in darkness because in his life there is no light.

Because you aren’t here anymore.

~

“Yes, well, believe it or not…” You sigh into your phone, small smile on your lips. “I’m actually getting out of the house today.” 

“To eat a real meal?” Misuk asks knowingly.

“Kind of?” You laugh. “I’m in the mood for coffee but like, not from my coffee pot.” 

Misuk tsks, “Fine. But at least buy a cookie or something too.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You tell her, “I found a cute café not too far away. Not a full menu place with servers like the one Subin likes—not that she even wants to go there anymore—but this place is like a little hole in the wall. Good reviews too.”

“I wish I could ditch work and join you.” She whines, “But I’ll have to stick to break room coffee.”

“Sounds horrible.”

“Oh, it is.” She laughs, “But okay. I hope you enjoy the café.”

“Me too,” At this point you hope you enjoy anything.

But the world is still dark.

And you’re hoping a nice outing with a good caffeinated drink could offer a little shining light in this complete darkness that consumes you. Even if it’s temporary. 

“I’ll talk to you later, Misuk.” You say before you’re both hanging up.

You look ahead, eyes on the building in front of you. You didn’t tell Misuk you’re actually already here but too afraid to get out of your car and walk inside. You aren’t sure why you’re afraid. Maybe it’s because it’s your first real outing since memories started coming to you. Maybe you’re afraid the more places and people you see, it will trigger more to unlock.

And you’re afraid of more truths that you wish would stay hidden would reveal themselves.

It’s hard but you finally manage to get out of your car and force your legs to take you inside. But the moment you step inside and you’re greeted with the smell of coffee and baked good, you immediately relax. 

It’s not a busy place at all. It’s small maybe the size of your living room and kitchen combined. Just a long counter with cookies, cakes and breads that smell delicious and an artsy menu board hanging on the back wall with a long list of drinks. And along one of the walls and all the windows is small, round tables with chairs. 

You take a breath before walking to the counter and a girl with bright eyes greets you with a heartwarming grin. When you tell her you’ve never been, she happily gestures to the menu and begins telling you all her favorite drinks. And she claims you must try their chocolate cookies.

“Hm,” You weigh all your options, feeling tempted by the lavender tea she mentioned. “Okay yeah, I’ll get that.”

“And a cookie too?” She smiles.

You can’t help but chuckle, it’s as if Misuk told this girl to ask you that. “Sure, a cookie too.”

“Okay!”

After you pay, the girl motions towards a wall with a bookshelf, “Feel free to browse. I’ll have you order up soon and I’ll call for you.” 

“Thanks.” You smile.

You decide to take her up on it, eyes browsing this bookshelf while your fingers brush against the spines. There’s some books you recognize and a ton that you don’t. You can tell which books are popular and which aren’t—the dust giving it away.

After several minutes of looking over book titles, the girl calls you over since your drink and cookie are ready. You excitedly go to the counter, hands reaching for the items and your nose is being blessed. You can tell this cookie is about to change your world.

“Thanks!” You say before excitedly and quickly turning around to find a table when you literally run into someone. This needs to stop happening to you. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if—

“Ah, Hot! Hot!” An unexpected voice yelps, “Hooooooooly shit, that’s hot!”

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” You stare at a broad chest, a button up shirt completely soaked as you begin to panic. “Are you—Are you okay?”

The man in front of you starts airing his shirt out, trying his best for the hot liquid to not burn his chest, you’re sure. “Ooooooh,” He whistles out, “That hurts.”

“Oh my god…I’m…I am so so—”

“—No worries,” He starts laughing, still airing the shirt. “It kind of feels like that first moment when you get under a hot shower.” 

You stare at his chest, completely panicked…he’s not going to press charges, right? Is that a thing? You could have seriously burned him! “Are you okay? Seriously—” You finally rip your eyes from his shirt to get a look at him. 

“Seriously,” He laughs more, “I’m okay.”

You gaze at him, his smile is spread across his face while he looks down at his shirt now.

“Good thing I keep extra shirts at work.” He says before glancing back up and locking eyes with you. “No harm here.”

You feel guilt sink it. “Oh my god, I hope I didn’t ruin your shirt…will it stain?” 

“You’re worried about this shirt?” He laughs loudly while his eyes crinkle cutely. “Wow, my mom would be so happy that at least someone cares about this thing. It was a Christmas present…and I’m pretty sure it was actually meant for my brother.”

You can’t help but snort, “Oh.”

“Literally only wearing it because I’m hoping something will happen to it and I can finally have a reason to throw it away.” He smiles, “And finally,” He looks up at the ceiling and pumps the air with his fists, “I can get rid of it!” 

You watch him, unsure if he’s serious or just trying to make you feel better. But either way…it does make you feel better.

“Is it still hot?” You find yourself asking, eyes back on his wet chest.

“Nah,” He waves you off with a goofy grin, “Now it’s sort of just sticking to me uncomfortably and it’s cold now.”

“Oh.” You suddenly feel bad again.

“Which is great because the sun is unforgiving today, don’t you think? So hot.” He begins fanning himself, grin still on his face before he glances down to the package in one of your hands. “Is that a chocolate chip cookie? Those are the best here!”

You look down, “Oh…oh yeah. Um, it is.”

“You should probably eat it, maybe you’ll finally smile. They’re that good.” He winks at you, “Or if you drowning in guilt over here, you could always let me have a piece too and we can call this whole,” He motions between you both, “thing even.” 

You stare at him for a moment, completely taken aback by his energy. He’s still smiling and it feels infectious, like you want to smile too.

And you do.

Though it is small and timid. You do.

In all this overwhelming darkness that has wrapped its arms around you, suffocating you in an unwanted embrace…all you really need right now in your life is some sort of light getting shed so you can finally see something besides your own despair. 

You just need some light. 

And little do you know that a bright, bright light is coming into your life.

And that light has a name.

And he goes by Kim Seokjin.

~

Next

[bts-trans]

230731 Weverse Translations

Jungkook's Post ❇️ with Comment 💬

앵콜 3:37 독보적인 한 분 누굴까...

JK: 나와라 오바 https://weverse.io/bts/artist/2-122883996

Who's that one person whose voice really stands out at 3:37 in the Encore vid...

JK: Come here, show yourself

Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

Jungkook's Post ❇️

오 들기름 좀 다르게 먹었는데 이게 나은 듯 사람들이 다 짜게 먹는 것 같아서 안 되게써 크게 달라진 건 없다만

생 들기름 3 참 소스 2 진간장 1 불닭 1 불닭마요 1 노른자 1 후춧가루~ (요리용디님 톤으로) 사알짝 넣고 꼬소하이 볶음참깨 좀 빻아서 취향 껏 넣고 같이 섞으세욤 이거 2인분 (200g) 기준입니다 저는 참고로 한 숫갈 꽉차게 넣어요 다

그 다음부터는 넣고 싶은 거 넣으세요 뭐 양파 좋아하면 양파 좀 잘게 다져서 넣던가 마늘 좋아하면 다진마늘 살짝쿵 넣던가 고춧가루 향 좋아하면 살짝 넣고 맘대로

그리고 김자반은 마지막에 위에 토핑으로 사아악.. 김자반도 귀찮아서 소스에 넣었는데 음 아냐 마지막에 해야대 ㅎㅎ

암튼 이게 더 맛남 ㅎ

아 그리고 최대한 차갑게 해서 먹어요 막판에 얼음물에다가 그냥 사정없이 비볐다가 물기 쫙 짜서

그럼 오늘 하루도 화이팅 ㅎ헿 https://weverse.io/bts/artist/4-126471994

I made the perilla oil noodles a little differently today and I think this way is better I thought people were making it really salty, and that didn't feel right It's not all that different, but:

Fresh perilla oil 3 Cham sauce* 2 Dark soy sauce 1 Buldak sauce 1 Buldak mayo sauce 1 Egg yolk 1 Ground pepper~ (read in Yori Yongd's voice) just a little bit Grind up some nice nutty toasted sesame and add it to taste, and then mix it all together This makes enough for two people (200g) Just for your reference, I add in a big heaped tablespoon of the sauce

After that, you can add whatever you want Like if you like onions, you can finely mince some onion and add that in Or if you like garlic, you can add a small bit of minced garlic Or if you like the flavour of gochugaru*², it's up to you

And then at the end, you go in with some Kim jaban*³ as a garnish, sprinkled on top all nice.. I did once just add the Kim jaban to the sauce because I couldn't be bothered doing it at the end and uhh that didn't go well, you have to do it at the end hehe

Anyways, this is tastier heh

Ah also, try to make the noodles as cold as possible. Just really go at them with some cold water and rinse them out thoroughly

Okay then, have a great day today too hheh

(T/N: *A kind of vegetable sauce. 2. Korean red chilli flakes. 3. A kind of seasoned dried seaweed flakes.)

Trans cr; Aditi

[to-myalphonse]

"Like a Circus." (Lyney & Steambird!Journalist Reader) Part 2

To anyone named Lianna I am so sorry for your loss in this story/jk

Here's Part One if you haven't seen it yet

I love how the archon quest confirmed a theory I had.

(2/21/24)Next Chapter will be out by next week!

Tag for this series

Hehe gif is a small reference for something else im wriring for the Fontaine siblings 👀

Nighttime hit Fontaine as businesses began to shut down for the night. Most employees were making their way home, a few people were on the streets hanging out around this time.

“Uhm hello?” Lianna, a Knight from Mondstadt drunkenly walked down the streets of Fontaine alone, bottle in hand. She was here on business and ended up getting drunk at the bar she met her client at. The bar kicked her out for getting too rowdy and dancing on tables.

She mumbles angrily to herself, continuing forward, trying to find an inn to sleep in for the night. The clinking of her heels dragged along the street. She slowly inched her way through the road when the lamps lighting her way suddenly went out, leaving her in darkness.

“Huh?”

She stopped taking in her surroundings. The pitch blackness made it difficult for her to navigate a land that she was unfamiliar with. She went to move again when something strange occurred.

The sound of a music box started to play. Lianna stood confused, trying to get her thoughts together. First, the lights now have some weird music box, if she didn’t know better, she would think this was some stupid prank they played on foreigners.

The music suddenly stopped. Silence and sounds of water from the nearby pier filled the background. Light footsteps walked in her direction, the sound of continuous tapping directly in front of her. She waits with a bated breath for something to happen or the lights to turn on. Seconds turn into minutes as she waits.

A small flame flickers as a Fatuus stood before her with a scythe in hand. That was all Lianna needed before taking the initiative to run away.

She ignored the darkness as she took off running. She ran zig-zag, trying to get the person off her trail. Lianna could hear him right on her tail yelling phrases towards her that she didn’t pay mind to. As she kept turning the corner, she heard the ocean waves growing louder. She pushed forward, going forward down the path, running face first into the waters down below.

Her purser stopped in their tracks, standing close to the edge of the pier. A light flashed into the water directly at her, blinding her momentarily. The Fatui member stares at her, not moving to snatch her up. She is still watching their movements. She waited for him to move before she started swimming towards another pier.

As Lianna exited the ocean, darkness filled her vision.

The Steambird was filled with chatter from the other members. Members ran around trying to collect the newspaper printed.

"Mondstadt woman found dead near the pier nearby."

“A young knight who worked for the Knights of Favonius, came here on business regarding trade between Fontaine and Mondstadt, Officers pronounced her dead around 3 Am this morning.”

"Lianna was apparently found with her neck snapped in an awkward direction. The only evidence the police found of the culprit was some pieces of cat hair around her neck."

"Did you find anything?" Charlotte peeks her head in from around the corner.

"Nothing that we don’t already know." She entered with more documents in hand.

"I heard the streetlights were shut off, probably didn’t want the cameras or possible eyewitnesses seeing them.” Charlotte sat the pile of papers neatly to the side.

"Well, that makes things much harder, doesn't it?" Charlotte lets out a small laugh as she enters the cubicle, papers in hand.

"Boss says, "All of those need to be completed by the end of today." She takes her leave as quickly as she entered your cubicle.

Picking up the documents, you spot the Chief of Justice among your list for interviews. Very helpful, leave it to the court to "have all the answers."

You walk along the streets of Fontaine, sweater in hand. Light music filled the streets as you passed by the shops. Everyone is always working, leaving few people in the streets to leisurely roam during the day. Some restaurants had business lunches, others roaming around quickly to their locations. 

The head of the court, the young god Furina and her right hand, Neuvillette judged the guilty. The building was the largest in the city almost similar to the roles that the people residing in them had to the people of Fontaine.

You shook your head trying to relieve yourself from the negative thoughts. It was just an interview with the Judge, nothing bad was going to happen. Entering the court, you signed yourself in and waited to be called.

"Yes how can I help you?" A melusine sitting at the desk glances up in your direction.

"An Interview with the steambird for Monsieur Neuvillette?" The melusine sighs, before walking off in the direction of his office. You remain by the desk waiting for the Melusine to return.

"He has time for you." The Melusine returned pointing out the direction of his office to you. You knock on the door before entering his office.

The Judge's office consisted of various articles spread throughout the wall, with dates circled. Neuvillette himself, sat at the desk writing away on a document. The hydro archon, sat on a chair talking to him as he works away.

"You should have seen the people that danced on their partners feet." She recounts a story of one of her outings to the Judge who listens silently.

"Next time, I'll take you." She continues talking as he seemingly listens in on her. Seeing you, her expression changes back into the arrogant stature she carries.

"It appears that we have a guest."

Seeing no place to sit, you stand awkwardly next to the door waiting for his permission.

“For the interview, correct?” He responds still focused on his work, not sparing you a single glance.

“Uhm yes. I’m Y/N.” The Judge sets aside a document, looking up to meet your gaze. Lady Furina sat up listening to the conversation.

“Let’s begin, what are your questions for me?”

“Fontaine wants to know, what are you doing about the disappearances of the foreigners as of recent?”

“We are doing our best to investigate the situation, Clorinde has taken over the case, I would advise talking to her.”

You put away the notebook, as quick as you pulled this out. This wasn't even five moments into the conversation.

"I understand, thank you for your time." You thank him and take your leave to go find her office.

“Furina can show you.” The young girl who was leaning against his desk shot up.

“Huh?"

“She’s not doing her work; she has time to take you.” He sighs hearing her argue more. He stands pushing her out of the office alongside you.

“If you’ll excuse me.” He locks his door leaving you with the young God.

“Neuvi!” She whined banging on the door to no avail. It remains shut with her locked out. She stood at the door annoyed before turning to you.

“As your dear archon, I will graciously help you out.” Her expression taking one of a soft smile as she guides you to Clorinde's office.

"I see thank you Miss Clorinde." You exit her office leaving the Palais Memonia. You checkt the list of other credible sources that was on your agenda.

Miss Navia

Melusine Guardes

Guardes

Monsieur Neuvillette

Mademoiselle Clorinde

You sigh crossing them off one by one. You decide to go with your best bet which is the Guardes. The Guardes during the time that Lianna was walking that time of night, some had to have been stationed in that area. Looking over the information that Mademoiselle Clorinde gave, it appears that none of the Guardes that she had stationed that night, heard any strange noises.

You sigh crossing the Guardes off your list momentarily. You sigh making your way to take care of the other things on your agenda.

"And you're sure that was the only evidence that you left by accident?"

"Yes." The white haired female let out a sigh of irratation as her nails drum along the desk she sat at.

"No more mistakes or do you need more training?" She sends a glare towards the three who raised their heads slightly.

"No sir." She sighs and dismisses the three from the room. The door to the House of the Hearth closing as a certain blonde and his siblings exit.

"We were a bit careless." One mumbled as they pass down the streets of Fontaine.

"I thought that you had them honestly."

"It doesn't matter, next time we'll do better."

“Places in 5 minutes!”

The staff and the performers began getting ready for their acts. Other performers were talking amongst themselves backstage.

The twins were preparing for their final performances for the night.

Lyney sat next to his vanity, preparing for his upcoming act, while his younger brother, Freminet, drew sketches for his next project sitting with him.

 Freminet would occasionally assist the siblings with their shows, though mainly he would watch from the crowd. The last show he helped with, was to regulate Lyney so he wouldn’t have another accident.

“Are you helping out with the show again, Frem?”

“What acts are you doing tonight?’’  The youngest looked up from his drawings.

“The usual, tightrope, saw cut, things like that.”

“I don’t think I’ll join this time then.” Lyney frowns, turning to Freminet.

Lyney sighs making the youngest stop his drawing. He puts down the make-up brush, turning to face him. "You know I only do this to get you comfortable with others right?"

"You're always on your own, you barely even talk to Lynette and I, that's not healthy, little brother."

The youngest stops his drawings as he closes the drawing book. He simply nods, not arguing with his older brother.

Their conversation ends short as a staff member peeks his head into the room.

“Lyney, it’s time.” He stands, tying his bow behind his back.

"Will you watch tonight at least?” He sends a glance to Freminet as he puts on his sleeve and gloves.

"I'll be in the audience."

"Then, I'll make sure to put on a hell of a show for you." He ruffles Freminet's hair before leaving the room.

“Wish me luck!” The crowd cheers welcoming Lyney and Lynette to the stage for their performance.

A/N (2/21): Chapter 3 will be out in a few weeks, thank you for your patience.

Taglist: @pochipop @teyvattales @estensity @teyvattales @bluu-m0on @tsukette @estensity @malleuxii(I dunno who wants to be tagged for this series just tell me below.)

[aajjks]

What is going on, who is animal Jk? You have multiple JK’s? Wow I stumbled here and I got to say wow… I love how you have a bond with your readers. It’s like a family over here. I do have a question, what do you not write about and what is too much? I know this is a blog about dark characteristics but what is too much, something you wouldn’t write about or roleplay about?

You are so sweet and yes I have multiple JKS I like to call it the alinaverse hehe

I think I’m not really comfortable writing for it incest themes, huge age gap, Underage character, content, r-pe, water sport themes, anal type stuff. I think that’s probably. I also I’m not doing any role-play right now. Just thought I would let you know that. 🥺♥️

[cirqosmos]

WAIT WAIT WAIT

so are u unconscious cause of sleep or melatonine patches?? they would avoid any cracks on the road, they wanna drive fast to get home quickly but what if that also scares u??? such a dilemma for them. i would be so nervous fuma could have a hard time hushing me to sleep tho...

freshly cooked food and curry in the kitchen, fireplace and the woods burning in the living room, his hand on your mouth if u start to struggle and act disobedient ~ jk, unless??

-boo anon

maybe both !! but yep i could imagine how they r trying to be careful 🥺🥺 and like the sky is getting dark when u got home. and fuma will still try his best for boo tho <33 imagine him pressing a tender kiss on your forehead while his right hand softly caressing your hair like you are the most fragile thing in the world cuz you rlly r to him hehe :3

and THE FIREPLACE HOW DID I EVEN FORGET THIS. THE SOUND OF CRACKLING AND THE RED-ORANGE HUES IS SOOTHING ASF 😩😩 but... their hand on your mouth... uhm wait how do i pin this text as a favourite LMFAO wait IN WHAT EXTENT DID THAT FREAKING HAND WAS ON YOUR MOUTH THO. jesus.. but i'm not complaining. not even a tad bit. i'll prob act disobedient for fun.. fuma stroking your lower lip with his thumb tho OKAY CUT 🚨🚨🚨 ehem let's drink water

[girl8890]

JK | Hieros Gamos (II)

BTS ML | Mood Board

Summary: After a fight with Jungkook that leaves y/n even more confused than before, one last argument with her family has her running to find her own answers. One of those answers, was already waiting at the door for her. 

Paring: God!Thanatos!Jungkook x Goddess!reader

Genre: greek gods!au, soulmate!au, smut, angst, some fluff 

Rating: 18+

Warnings: family arguments, confused reader, running away, mentions of past war/murder, secrets reveled, flirting, past masturbation mentioned, inexperienced/virgin!reader, heavy petting, dry humping, thigh riding, clothed sex, horny jk, kinda dom!jk, nipple play, jk is just so much in loveeee~

A/N: This part is much longer than part 1, so sit back and get comfy! I’m really getting into this mini-series now, and this part is a doozy. Secretes are revealed, connections are strengthened as well as broken, and I may have hinted at what y/n’s powers actually are… hehe. Enjoy part 2! 

Part I | Part III

。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。

Time has always been different for gods. A year for mortals is a blink of the eye for gods. That’s why when a month past since you last saw your invisible friend, you didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

A month should have been nothing, but in reality it was everything. Knowing him for so long, and being in the dark about the world for so long, the longest you’ve been okay with staying away from him was for a few days because talking to your family was like reading ancient script from a wall. But after the fight you two had, where you couldn’t help your anger from not only your family keeping secrets from you but your best friend too, it really hurt you.

Still does.

Your family has been asking what’s wrong, and you always have an excuse. Not wanting to tell them the truth, or admit it out loud, either. That someone they don’t know about is haunting your mind. Your friend has always haunted your mind, though. It just wasn’t until night fell that you allowed him too. When his voice would tickle your ears and consume your mind, you always found yourself reaching under your dress to feel just how much his voice alone affected you.

But you don’t want to think about that right now. You want too scrub your frustrations away into this piece of clothing that you have been washing for the past twenty minutes. You don’t want to think about how pretty his voice sounds... or how much you long to touch him just once... not even how you imagine his lips-

You scream out your frustration, hating yourself for letting these thoughts consume your every waking thoughts, and then start scrubbing the piece of clothing even harder. Making the water in the basin slosh around so much that it tips over the edge in small waves. 

“Wo-wo, there little miss! Worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, shouldn't affect the clothing,” Your aunt, Clotho, pushed her hands out to you like that would somehow sooth your frustration.

You blow out a puff of hot air, and instead of giving your aunt any of your attention, you take the wet piece of clothing, and the rest of the clothing that have gone unwashed, and leave the room. That doesn’t stop your aunt, including your other aunt, and mother, from searching for you later. 

It was while you were sitting on a ridge of the cave that looked out to the rest of the world. The only spot in the entire cave that could be considered a window when compared to a normal home. You look out at the dead earth that surrounds the cave, taking note of a soul that's drifted too far away from the entrance of the underworld and how it soon dissipates into thin air. Probably grabbed by the reaper of souls or even the River Styx’s guardian. 

You longed for a life like there's. Even if something as messily and gruesome like reaping dead souls, and rowing those souls across a river doesn’t sound at all fun, but it’s better than being stuck in a cave for all of eternity for no reason. This isn’t even your job, and your stuck here! Not because of a godly punishment, or because you even wanted to be stuck here. Your birth in this spot was the only reason. 

The fates coined this cave as there's, so this is the spot people travel to when they want to seek out their abilities. You, on the other hand, don’t have a single power that leads people to find you in this cave. Heck, you don’t even know what powers you have worth something like that. You’ve never had the courage to go searching or practicing for it. You can choose to leave—or you should have the choice to leave—to go find out exactly that, but yet, you’re still here. 

“Why- “the long-“ “face, darling.”

Unlike most people, you don’t find the fate sister’s talking annoying when they speak like this. Your brain is wired for it now, after spending every day since birth hearing it.

“You know why,” You say without looking at the fates.

The fates glance at each other, and all three of them shrug their shoulders at the same time.

“We can't read your mind, daughter.”

“Trust me-” “We’ve tried.” “Ow!”

You grin when you hear your aunt, Lachesis, yelp in pain from undoubtedly getting smacked in the back of the head by your mother. Not because you find your aunt’s pain enjoyable, but you love the bound the three fate sisters have. You also knew they tried readying your mind before, but I guess that’s just a part of one of your own useless abilities worth mentioning. Although, having the ability to keep even your own fate and mind as off limits to them is special in its own way. Otherwise they would have found out about your invisible friend and that’s a no-go. 

“Nothing any of you can fix. How about that.” You say rhetorically like you’re breathing out air. Knowing no matter what your frustrations are, it will be heard by the wrong ears to know about them. The fates never wanting to give you clear answers.

You look over at the three of them when a moment of silence has passed, and they’re all wearing the same expression: unconvinced. Unconvinced that they can’t solve your problem, which they can. They just choose not to help. Granted, an hour ago your focus was more on your invisible friend, but now that your family is in front of you, they just remind you of what’s been bothering you for what feels like forever.

You roll your eyes at them. “Fine! You want to know what’s wrong?” Your harsh wording make their eyes widen, but they all sober at the same time. Always ambiguous with their emotions. “I want to leave.”

That makes the fates break up in a frenzy. All three of their minds racing at what you just admitted.

“You can’t!” Aunt Clotho shouts. “Why would you?” Aunt Lachesis questions. “You won’t,” Your mother, the most inflexible of them all, Atropos, demands.

You huff out in anger, sliding off the ledge of the cave you’ve been looking out on, and stomp your feet like a child. “Why not? I hear story after story of the world outside of this cave. I want to explore it. I want to live out there.”

Your mother steps forward, breaking up the placement she usually stands in next to her sisters. “Y/n, darling, you can’t. Your travels will lead you down rocky paths. One’s that have sharp rocks, and dark fellow travelers.”

You grit your teeth, hating the riddle she just bestowed on you. “How would you know? None of you can see my fate!” They all gasp in unison. “And I’m done being told I’m going to die if I leave this cave! Your all so- so - ugh!”

You smack your sides harshly, unable to put into words what you were never given to announce your hatred of their constant protectiveness. Instead of letting any of them sway your decision, you walk away from them. They don’t follow you, and that’s how you want it this time. They never do follow you.

Never for you.

You run right into your room, and pack a bag. The only reason you didn’t do this eons ago is because you had a friend you didn’t want to leave behind, but your done waiting for answers from him too. Your done waiting for answers that are right outside this cave. Answers to questions you’ve not even let your mind wonder too for awhile.

You know who your father is. He’s the main reason you thought your family wanted to keep you locked up in a cave like this, but you always wondered how having a primordial god as a father was possible, and why he bestowed your mother the gift of pregnancy—a gift he shouldn’t have been able to give.

Another question that floated into your mind a lot: What were the other gods like in person? You’ve seen only few come in and out of the fate’s cave. One being the queen of the underworld herself, but that was many moons ago. Is there a moon god? There must be. You knew of the house of Nyx, and about all her children that your family warned you away from. Aunts and uncles that’s blood was so taped your family didn’t consider them their own blood since the war. But, who was the one that resided as the personification of your favorite rock in the sky? The part of the sky that keeps the tides calm?

You have so many questions, but one question...

One question that should have been answered for you years ago, but only you could answer… who are you? Who are you really? That’s a question you can only answer yourself, and it’s the hardest one to answer. An answer you’ll only find by leaving this cave and exploring the rest of the world.

You finish packing a satchel that you made for yourself one day while you were board. You look down at the many sewed in fabrics, and run your hand across it. Although you had fate’s blood in you, sewing wasn’t really much of your thing. You were pretty good at it, though. This being your first and last piece of fabric you ever sewed, and it still being kept together even though you made it years ago. Something you sewed while talking to your invisible friend…

Your eyes become glossy when you think about leaving him, but you shake your head at the thought. This is no time for second guessing yourself. He made his choice to keep you in the dark, and that was the end of it. No turning back.

You pick up your bag, hoist it over your shoulder, and head for the entrance of the cave.

☙❦❧

It wasn’t your fault everyone around you kept life outside these cave walls a secret. It wasn’t your fault that your only friend kept his life a secret, either. Truthfully, it was all formed in a plan to protect you. Protect you from the god who would want to smite you down for just being who you are.

The daughter of Atropos, the inflexible fate that could cut a lifespan at a flick of her wrist. See anyones future thoughts, and present and past thoughts too because of her connection to her sisters. But even with all these gifts she bestowed upon you, your fathers adventures mind took over. You were nothing like him, not really, and the fates were all too young to remember what he was like unpersonified.

So when he came as a ghostly figure, one that not even Jungkook could touch, your mother did not believe him when he told her his name. When he told her he wanted to make a god with her, she believed him even less. But you we’re born somehow. Not by hieros gamos, or even the shaping of clay. A simple poke to Atropos’s belly and she had you within nine months.

Who knew someone so infertile, could make a goddess like Atropos plump like she was? She never got answers as to why he wanted to make your mother pregnant, and besides casting your fate before your birth, none of the fates had a say in your life. Not to the extent they were used to, at least.

But your father was still your father, as absent as he was. Telling you who your father is was the last time any of the fates bestowed you with knowledge of your life. Not that Zeus would want to kill you for having such a Titian like power. Not how you somehow formed a connection with the god of death before you even hit two hours old. But the name of your father they did tell you. It was something trivial to them because even if you wanted to meet him, you really couldn’t. Not unless he wanted you to. 

Your father is the name of a personification, and the name of a place that mortals and gods alike feared to be sent too one day.

His name was Tartarus.

And that’s exactly where you planned to go.

☙❦❧

The second your feet crunch against the open worlds surface, Jungkook’s wings itched. He knew you were out of the cave the second you breathed in the toxic airs. Luckily, he was already in the underworld, talking to Hades about plans with the overflowing amount of souls that have been coming in lately. One second Jungkook was there… then the next second he wasn’t. Feeling the pull to you instantly, and having no thoughts of trying to repent it. 

“I’m not sure, Jungkook. Don’t you think-“ Hades turns in the direction of where Jungkook once stood. He glances around the throne room, seeing no one but Persephone there with him. “Where’d he go?”

Jungkook has never flew faster in his life. Even during the war, he never flapped his wings this hard to pick up speed. With that thought, he slowed his pace a bit. Right when he got in front of Charon to think about what exactly he was going to do. You are out of the cave. You are free. The fates and him never discussed what he was allowed to do if you ever did that! He hasn’t thought about the possibility of you leaving in years. 

But there you were, in his line of sight now. Outside of the cave and walking towards the entrance to the underworld. 

He looks around at the lost souls, seeing you right at the edge of them. To far away to see him, but at the same time, you’ll be deciding to walk through the souls and see him soon. You don’t know enough about the world to go too deep or understand anything about the underworld. The fates cave being at the outer edge of it all.

Charon, the person that allows souls to cross the River Styx, looks over at his winged brother. He’s frantic. Pacing back and forth along the shore, wings sucked into his body, and he’s constantly putting on and taking off his hood. Like he’s not sure how he wants to look right now: dark and mysterious, or like an open book and angelic. Charon would usually ignore the god of deaths antics, but he’s scaring away the souls that have tolls for him. Even if they’re just spirits, there’s more mortals than nymphs around. Seeing the god of death’s skeleton form is making them all cower away from the shore and the deity.

“Jungkook, why must you pace here?” 

Jungkook doesn’t stop looking towards you. You’re still trying to figure out how to get through the crowd of souls that you, in all rationality, could just walk through.

“I-I… nothing,” Is all Jungkook can say in response to Charon’s question. Paying him no mind and only focusing on what’s important to him right now. 

Charon raises a curious eyebrow. Never seeing Jungkook so flustered before. Jungkook has always been a confident god. One that would use his sickle and deathly face to scare others away from him if needed, and didn’t care how other’s perceived him for it. But now, he doesn’t even have the sickle! Leaving it in the throne room where he was once talking to Hades in.

He follows Jungkook’s line of sight, and sees a women standing at the other side of the mass of souls. 

“You could just go and talk to her, you know?”

Jungkook stops his pacing, looks over at Charon and squints his eyes at him like that was the stupidest thing he’s heard all day. “I can't just do that!”

“Why not?”

“She doesn’t know me.”

“Then why are you pacing the shores like you’re trying to reheat the sand?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, and continues his pacing. “Because I can.”

It’s Charon’s turn to roll his eyes. One soul has become brave enough to pass Jungkook, only glancing at the being she only sees as bone. Giving Charon the coin her living loved ones buried her with. She enters the boat, and Charon hopes other’s will be as brave as this mortal to pass the skeleton of a man... but no one does.

As cool and collected as Charon usually is, there has already been problems with too many souls in the living world dying because of the war between countries, so having problems on the shores would not be good either. Although no one has made a fuss about the line to the boat not moving yet, souls tend to get antsy after awhile, especially if they have no coin to give the boatman to begin with. 

“You know a person has to give me a coin to cross the River Styx, don’t you Jungkook?” Without looking at the boatman, Jungkook nods his head. “You should probably make sure she has one. If she wants to cross, that is. She does know that, doesn’t she?”

Jungkook stops his pacing again, digging his boots into the sand as he stops. You probably don’t know that, but that’s not what makes Jungkook stop in his tracks. He sees the souls around him, scared to even look at him, but he doesn’t care about that either. None of them are moving in the like besides the one mortal women that entered the boat. Starting a crowded line even though some of them probably don’t even have a coin to cross. 

Jungkook has seen what happens when souls get frustrated. He also sees the bag you’re holding. All it takes is one soul to realize...

“Are you alive?”

Scratch Jungkook’s thoughts from before. Now he's never flown faster in his life. 

☙❦❧.

You were waiting in the line of souls to get on the boat, not wanting to be rude and pass right through them, when an older male soul asked you, “Are you alive?”

You look over at the ghost of a man, not knowing what to say. Although your family has told you very little about the world, you know that souls tend to grab onto anything living. You only knew this because it was one of the fates sayings they used to say to you so much. A saying that always made you jitter in the cold even if it was warm where you lived. 

Every mortal is afraid to die. So afraid, that even after death they will fight to live. 

You glance around, realizing other souls have turned around to look your way. All of them wanting to look at the living girl that took the one souls attention. You try to lie, but even to you is sounds false, “N-no! Just waiting to get on the boat.”

The man squints at you, unbelieving. “Did you die with that on?” He points to your bag over your shoulder, and by the way you look at it he knows you didn’t die with it, or die at all. “I knew it! Your a living soul... Please help me! I shouldn't have died! It wasn't my time.”

“U-ugh...”

“Help me too! I don’t have a coin because I died at sea. Do you have a coin too spear?” A older male soul says to you, joining the conversation. 

“What coin-”

“Please tell my daughter I'm sorry.” “I didn’t mean to jump off the roof!” “I don’t deserve this!” “Help us!” “Help me!”

So many souls were gathering around you, that you don’t know what to do. You’re crouching on the floor, now surrounded by many souls. You cover your ears, wanting their pleads to stop, and shut your eyes tight. You’re so overwhelmed by everyone and have never been around this many people before. Only small groups of five or six have ever visited the fates before. This group of souls stretches out to the hundreds! 

You’re wishing them to go away. Praying to whatever god that could hear you to make them go away. You would even go back to-

Before you could finish that regretful thought, you’re suddenly no longer surrounded and being hoisted in the air. Gasps and even a feminine scream is heard from below you. 

You grab onto the being that’s saved you, but keep your eyes shut. Feeling woozy in the air, but grounding yourself by holding onto the person even tighter. It's a hard body, and one with dipped shoulders. Your face is buried in whoever your savors is neck, and your arms are grasping at their back. Holding on for deer life as you fly through the air. Your legs are wrapped around the person’s middle, and strangely enough when you squeeze the person closer to you they squeeze back. Keeping you as close to them as possible as you fly away from the swarm of souls. 

By the time you feel you’re savor and you hit land, you’re too sacred to let go of them. They don’t mind, though, because they actually sit down with you in their lap when they realize your not letting go

“A-are we safe now?”

Your savior chuckles at your question, and your eyes shoot open wide when a familiar voice is heard. “Not sure. Would you stop holding onto me like this if I say we are? If your answer is anything else but no, then definitely not.”

You know that voice... you’ve heard that voice in your dreams before and in person too for years. You let your arms and legs go slack around him, feeling your bag fall off your shoulders while you’re still sitting in his lap. Then you slowly pull your face away from his neck. Looking up at your invisible friend for the first time...

“Ghostie?”

He smiles down at you, although it looks strained. “Hi, nae salang.”

You blink. Process everything. Then say without thinking, “You’re really pretty.”

Your face instantly lights up like the sun. You physically feel the heat that’s radiating off of your face. You’re so embarrassed by what you just said.

Jungkook doesn’t find it embarrassing, though. He bites his lip to fight the real smile trying to bloom on his face. Thanking all the gods, even Zeus, for giving him the looks that he has and creating a reaction like that on you because of it. 

“I-I meant...”

“I think you meant I'm drop dead gorgeous! Hotter than the Helios himself, am I right?” You playful smack his shoulder at the teases, but you can’t help the small smile from forming.

So this is what your friend really looks like. Sharp jaw that could cut glass, smooth skin that make your fingers itch to touch him, and raven black hair that looks so soft you want to run your fingers though it. Not to mention the lip piercing and a eyebrow piercing. You knew that body piercing existed. Your own family looking down at the new trend for some reason, but seeing them on your friend now is making your stomach do flips. We don’t even need to get into the tattoos. The beautiful art work printed on his skin has you wanting to know what it feels like to trace every symbol on his arms. 

And you feel the hard body underneath yours. There's not a single layer of fat on him. Completely clean all over. Your starstruck, really. You never knew what to expect if you saw him in person like this, but even now that you’ve seen him in person, you have a grueling question that slips past your lips as soon as it pops into your head.

“Why didn’t you let me see you before?”

Jungkook remains neutral in front of you, but inside there's a roaring fire being lit. Not only is he touching you for the first time, feeling your beautiful body still wrapped around him that he’s been itching to even brush across all this time. Finally being able to let you see himself too, is truly a blessing in disguise. But even now that you’re both visible to each other, he’s tongue tied coming up with answers to your question. 

He knows he should tell you the truth now. He wants to tell you, but there’s still that never elongating fear still lingering in his mind telling him you’ll hate him - be afraid of him even - if he tells you everything you’ve wanted to know for years... like who he really is. 

After a moment of silence, and watching the turmoil cross your friends eyes, you do something you never thought you would be able to do... you reach your hand out, and touch his face. Cupping his cheek and smoothing your thumb out for comfort, but in reality it’s because you can’t help yourself and want to touch him. 

“You can tell me. I won’t be mad, I promise... I’ll swear on the fates if I have to.” He chuckles at you bringing up your family in such a joking manner, but that just brings him to the realization of when he swore on the actual fates. 

He’s touching you... currently having you in his lap... so he broke his promise to the fates. 

They never swore on it with blood, not even on a body of land like the Styx, but it’s a broken promise nonetheless. Having you here, though, in his arms where you’ll forever be safe, is worth any destruction that comes his way from here on out.

He breathes you in, the aroma coming off of you smelling like roses and honey, and he holds it in for as long as possible. Only blowing it out when you start to blink up at him in confusion.

“I... didn’t tell or show you who I was... because... I was afraid you would-... hate me?” Real smooth, Jungkook. Even after he ends his explanation, that ended up somehow sounding like a question, he mentally smacks himself. 

Why the fuck is it so hard to talk to you right now?

“Afraid I'd hate you? You haven’t even told me your name yet, so how would I know who you are?”

Jungkook screws his eyes shut, not wanting to face you when he tells you the truth.

“My names Jungkook.” I quite gasp his heard from you, but he doesn’t open his eyes. The sound not helping his current predicament. “I'm the god of-”

“Death,” You finish for him. “I know who you are.”

You wiggle in your spot on top of him, feeling a little shocked, but don’t get off of him. That just serves to wake up other parts of himself, so he wraps his arms around you tighter, around your waist, and stopping you from moving. Your movement making his eyes go wide, and having to face your equally surprised face. 

You raise an eyebrow at him, glancing at his arms on your waist. He makes them go slack again, and hoping your innocent mind doesn’t realize something is now probably poking you in the ass.

“Why would you think I hate you?” You ask, not understanding why Jungkook is now acting weird, but ignoring it for the time being.

He clears his throat, and tries to seem relaxed again. “Because of how the fates talked about me to you.”

“And that is...”

Now it’s Jungkook's turn to blink in confusion. “You’ve got to be kidding me. They never told you anything about me?”

“Oh! No, they told me a lot of things about the house of Nyx. But what I'm not understanding is why would you think I care?”

Gut punched. Smack in the face. Floored. These are all the different kinds of emotions that Jungkook is now feeling. 

“I’m so confused.”

“How do you think I feel,” You say, unimpressed. 

If this entire time Jungkook didn't tell you who he was because of stories from before you were even born, your going to punch him. And you tell him just that... he laughs.

“Well, I guess I’m gutting punched then,” Jungkook says, feeling incredibly lighter about the situation now. Even after you actually punch him in the shoulder, which Jungkook barely felt because of his layer of muscle in his bicep. He didn’t even flinch, but now your fist is kinda sore. Your eyes go wide for a second, unbelieving that god has this much muscle on him. 

You then glance around the cave, trying not to think about Jungkook and how amazing his everything is, and you see that he flew you to the other side of the cave. You wondered why so many of the fates stories of this place were so gruesome. Especially the part of getting across the River Styx, when the souls judgement would be given. Looking around the cave now, it’s kinda peaceful. Not that you wanted to stay in that part of underworld. You’ve spent to much of your life in a cave to ever stay in one for to long again! But, looking around at the cave that’s filled so many stories with terrible tails, you think it’s a stunning sight. Sparkling walls with moisture and the souls passing by add to your curious mind. Wanting to know what their living lives were like.

Jungkook watched silently as you took your fill of the rest of the underworld. You only living in a part of it since you were born must have been overwhelming, but the look on your face now didn’t make him think you were overwhelmed. You made the same look when you thought about…

It suddenly dawned on Jungkook that you’ve only ever lived in a cave, so this one must be reminding you of your family. Granted, this cave is much different then the one you lived in. Still full of rocks and no flowering green in sight, but having eerie dripping of unknown water and random passing souls is very different from the fate’s cave. Basically, much worse then the cave you lived in.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks. Wanting to make sure you’re not regretting leaving. You look back at Jungkook, smiling softly when he probably caught your wondering eyes and not wanting to worry him about it.

“I’m okay. Just thinking about my family, and how they lied about so much to me.”

“About what?”

You look around the cave again, letting go of him with one of your hands to gesture to it all. “This place and how it’s so-...“

“Terrifying,” Jungkook interrupts. “I know it can be-“

Beautiful.

Jungkook is stunned silent. Your lips did not move, and yet he heard you. You look at him now, concerned about his silence, but Jungkook is totally shell shocked.

He knew this was possible. Being able to hear the person you did hieros gamos with’s thoughts. But that’s just it. You both never did the act itself. This should be impossible, your connection together should be impossible, but yet it all is happening to him and to you. Maybe leaving the fates cave let this be possible, but it has so many emotions flowing through Jungkook right now. This little instance, hearing you just think the word beautiful, is just another reminder of what you two are to each other. Your not just a regular girl to him. Not that Jungkook has ever forgotten, but it’s way more then just a god loving a goddess. It’s entirely more.

Your souls are connected for eternity, and right now your soul looks absolutely marvelous to him. 

“You’re beautiful too,” Jungkook says without thinking, but doesn’t feel embarrassed about it either. He doesn’t care if it makes you ask questions because in this moment you can ask him anything right now, and he would answer. You could ask him to burn the whole world to the ground, and he would do it. This spark through your connection has turned Jungkook into putty, and you’re now looking at him like he’s just given you the moon.

“Oh,” you say in the smallest of voices after a moment. “Um- thank you… J-Jungkook.”

Jungkook grips your waist tighter for a second. Hearing you say his name for the first time is making him want to fly around the universe. He feels like he’s on the god damn moon at this point. Your just so… everything. Your everything to him. You make the god of death blind to the world. Only wanting to ever see you in his line of sight and hear you say his name on repeat into his ear.

While Jungkook continues to look at you with stars in his eyes, it makes you squirm in his lap again. This time Jungkook doesn’t stop you. He relaxes his hands and lets your bodies rub together. Softly groaning and make you raise an eyebrow at him when your butt knocks into his ever growing cock in his pants. All his senses are going haywire. He didn’t think hearing a single word from your thoughts would get him like this, but truthfully, everything about today has been surprising.

He’s not someone that could be easily seduced, but he swears he’s bewitched by you right now. And you’re slowly realizing what it is that keeps bumping into your thigh. You stop moving, and take in your current situation. Nibbling on your bottom lip when it dawns on you that you’re in the lap of the god of death, and how he’s looking at you like he wants to eat you.

What dawns on you even harder, is that you like it. You shouldn’t like it. You should be mad at him! He’s kept so much from you, so you shouldn’t be caving to your secret desires - but at the same time, there hasn’t been a moment since seeing him in person, and finding out who he was, that you’ve been mad at him. Is it okay to just let things go like this? Is that string of a connection you keep seeing between you two that makes you like this?

Your not sure when you started seeing that connection, or feeling it even, but it’s glowing right now. Getting brighter and brighter, and you’re not sure what to do with it. Wanting to reach out to it, but at the same time not sure if you should.

You stutter out his name, wanting to grasp onto something you know. All your other confusing emotions making you feel hotter for some reason. “J-Jungkook... I - um...”

He hums as an answer to his name, pulling you closer to him by your waist. You place your hands on his chest, but you don’t push him away to create distance. In fact, there’s becoming less and less distance between you two as the seconds tick by. The pull of that bright connection pulling you both towards each other like magnets.

You’re so inexperienced with this feeling, but you’re matching it to the feelings you get at night when you only had Jungkook’s voice to go off of. It’s making your face heat up with the rest of your body. Your mind is spinning.

“W-what’s happening?” You ask Jungkook who looks equally in a daze as you feel. Right before your lips touch, something you’ve both been craving to know the touch of for years, you get a response that rocks to your core.

“What is right.”

And then your lips are joined. A first kiss for you, and the first that mattered to Jungkook. A kiss you’ve never felt before, and a kiss that Jungkook has been craving longer than you know about. The bonds between you two pulsed, and you both gasp when you feel it. Staring into each other’s eyes like you can’t believe what just happened.

You don’t know what it is, and he has a good idea. You don’t care about it anymore, and neither does he. Jungkook pulls your body flush against his, reconnecting your lips to each other’s in the process. You whimper at the rough kiss, and it has Jungkook groaning into your mouth. Wanting to pull more noises like that from you. Enjoying the taste of your lips on his, and feeling you vibrate on top of him when he touches your bottom lip with his tongue.

It’s a frenzy of kisses between the both of you. Your very much inexperienced, but Jungkook is just happy to taste you. Happy and used to taking the lead. Forgetting how innocent you are, he grabs ahold of your ass in his two hands. Squeezing the squishy flesh. You gasp into his mouth, letting him take the opportunity to touch your tongue with his. Your tongue is hesitant, but curious - letting Jungkook’s consume your mouth completely.

You feel how your body is shaking. How your mind is only concentrating on the man underneath you like it’s never had before. It’s an experience you don’t want to stop, and Jungkook doesn’t even have the ability to stop it.

Jungkook starts to move your bodies, rubbing against each other. You feel his cock that was once poking at your leg drag over your clothed core. It has you squeaking, and Jungkook chuckling by the cute noise.

“So sweet and innocent,” He says against your lips, in fucked out daze. You hold onto his shoulders, keeping your eyes screwed shut, as he continues to move your bodies against each other with his hands on your ass. The feeling is intensifying as your movements get rougher, but the way Jungkook is looking down at you right now is making you want that feeling so much more. You want to be good for him.

Something inside makes you do it. Makes you feel brave enough to let out your first moan, and just like you hoped, he loved the sound. Jungkook detaches your lips from each other, groaning a deep “Fuck,” that goes straight to your core that he continues to grind against. “You sound so lovely, y/n.”

You bite your lip, turning red when his praise has even your insides tightening. You stutter out his name again, trying not to combust by the way you want to suddenly mold into Jungkook’s skin. Meanwhile, Jungkook is trying ever way possible to become your skin.

He nips at your ear, gliding his tongue across your lobe and enticing more high pitched noises from you. He then drags his tongue downwards, licking the salty surface of your neck. All while watching you in the corner of his eye, seeing your face contort in so many different faces he’s never seen before on you. He loves every one, and wants to see them all on repeat. Maybe even forever if you’ll let him. 

Continuing his decent, he raises your head with his hand at the back of your neck. Tipping your head backwards gently so he can get better access to your chest he’s now exploring with his lips. Everything about you tastes and feels so amazing! So amazing, that when you start meeting Jungkook’s movements with your own his eyes roll into the back of his skull. Feeling the warmth of your pussy through his pants and your thin undergarments. He groans against your chest when at just the right angle he can feel some of your wetness leak from you.

The urge to pin you against the ground and fuck your virginity away is strong, but looking back at your face has him resisting - as hard as that is. He doesn’t want to be the guy the fates expect him to be and one your don’t deserve. A type of god that horns on girls and takes them however he pleases. Not caring about when or how. That’s not Jungkook. Not with you or any other girl he’s been with in the past.

He’s never been selfish, and he’s not going to start now just because his mind is in a frenzy. “Put your hands back on my shoulders, nae sarang.”

It takes you a few seconds to process his words, not even realizing your hands slipped from his shoulders while he was attacking your neck before. “O-okay.”

You slowly place your hands back on his shoulders, not sure what to do or what Jungkook was going to do. He then lifts your body up, positioning your core right on his thigh. As much as he loved your wet core grinding on him before, it ended ups being too much. Jungkook has been alive for many years, so simply grinding on each other won’t get him off, but he also didn’t want to push you to what would get him off if you continued the way you were.

When he places you on his thigh, you shuffle a little to get comfortable. He then places his hands on your lower back over your dress this time, rubbing the soft fabric you’re wearing and comforting you while he does it. Jungkook then smirks up at you, making your eyes widen a little for a second at his sudden dirty expression. “I’m going to make you feel so good, y/n. Do you want to feel good, nae sarang?”

You swallow against the lump in your throat - hands shaking as you grasp onto his shoulders tighter. You don’t even know what could make you feel even better than before, and your a little nervous to find out. This is Jungkook, though. The friend you’ve had since the beginning of your life. The friend you’ve wanted to always feel this good with, but couldn’t in the past out of nerves and the problem of never being able to touch each other. Now, you want him to touch you in ever way he can.

So, you give him permission to take your everything. “I want you to make me feel good, Jungkook... please.”

Jungkook suppresses a groan, surprised by how dizzying your words just got him, and pushing the thoughts in his head as far in the back of his brain as possible. Jungkook then positions his thigh higher, making sure it’s directly against you, and begins moving you back and forth on his thick thigh. The feeling is instant. Before, it was brief feelings of pleasure that had a rest in between each movement, but now it’s a constant.

You grabs onto Jungkook’s shoulders even harder, digging your nails into his shirt, trying to place all your feelings there, but your mouth still opens up to let out even higher pitched moans and whimpers. Your toes are curling, it feels so good. When one of his hands greedily grasps at your ass again, instead of just empty moans your voice fills with his name. His name falling breathlessly from your lips and pushing every syllable into his ears. “Jungkook! Oh my- mmm!”

Jungkook can’t take it anymore. He pulls your body closer to him, still shifting his leg so you don’t stop feeling is thigh on your most intimate parts. He then starts attacking your chest again with long licks and kisses. Wanting to touch you even more, and more intimately then before. While your still screaming out your euphoria above him, he slowly pushes one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder. You feel it fall, and get red in the face for what feels like the tenth time today when you realize your left breast is exposed to him.

The only indication that you resist this is with a small gasp, but it’s soon covered up by another moan when his thigh rubs your clit just right through your undergarments. Jungkook takes this as an invitation. Licking his lips before he attaches them to your nipple. Sucking on the bud and feeling you vibrate all over uncontrollably because of it.

His teeth nip at the bud, and his tongue licks at the surface. Your head is spinning. You’re so sensitive, more than you thought you would be, and all this overstimulation is putting your stomach in knots. “J-jungkook I-… I think…”

Jungkook’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t stop. Grinding you harder on his thigh, and using all the tricks he can do with his tongue on your nipple. And he’s got a lot of tricks. Swirling around the bud, and sucking. Nibbling, and licking. Pulling, and flicking. 

Your wetness is soaking his pants now, making his thigh raise even higher to touch as much of it as possible. Wanting to feel how much he’s affecting you right now like you’ve affected him for eons. All the while his cock is dripping pre-cum in his pants right now, and he’s trying his best to ignore it by paying attention to making you feel as good as possible. 

Jungkook hasn’t had anyone since you were born. Since the hieros gamos somehow formed between you two; and his love for you became inevitable. He wants to hear you scream his name for the first time while you cum. He wants to be your first everything, even though he’s never had the urge before. He wants to teach you all the tricks of making love, and watch your sensitive body quiver as you make it through his first teaching.

One more rough thrust against your clit and flick of his tongue in your nipple, has you seeing white. Somehow also sees the night sky’s stars too as your orgasm ripples through your body in waves. It feels like it’s never ending. You’re screaming out his name, burying your face in his neck, and feeling like you’re wrapped up in heat. In Jungkook’s heat.

He holds you through your tremor of an orgasm. Embracing you tightly to him, and kissing your temples. Praising you on how good you did, and how sexy it was to watch.

Jungkook is done for. He can’t let you go. He wants to keep you in his arms forever, and tell the fate to have their Demeter moment with a different child. Your his. You’ve always been his. And Hades forbid anyone that tries to take you from him...

He wants to tell you how he feels - what you mean to him - but he doesn’t have to. Right before you drift off, your orgasm making you utterly exhausted… you hear him say it without words...

I love you.

-

-

-

Final

。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。 。・°°・°°・。

River Styx - Styx is a river that forms the boundary between Earth and the Underworld.

House of Nyx (Goddess Nyx) - the personification of night. Most known to be scene as a shadowy figure, Nyx stood at or near the beginning of creation and mothered other personified deities such as Hypnos (Sleep), Death, and Erebus (Darkness). The house of Nyx consists of all the deities that were born from Nyx and stayed loyal by her side.

Tartarus - the deepest part of the underworld where mortals and gods are put after they defied the higher gods (Zeus, Hades, etc.,) to suffer for eternity. The primordial god, Tartarus, is the pit itself. He was the body of the pit itself rather than an athropomorphic deity.

Helios - God of the sun. 

Charon - the son of Erebus and Nyx (Night), whose duty it was to ferry over the Rivers Styx and Acheron those souls of the deceased who had received the rites of burial. In payment he receives a coin that was placed in the mouth of the corpse.

[ira-hydrangea]

HEHE IM BACK YOO!!🤷‍♀️ so I’m just gonna dump this here can ignore btw HAHSHA Similar to Encanto!yuu with dolores gift, now that but with PEPA’S GIFT imagine crowley dumping his work onto yuu again and yuu starts thundering and threatens to summon a tornado (that one scene while preparing for antonio’s ceremony) would be funny for the students to enjoy the sunny day but then it starts to rain, after that thundering and then more rain. And it ends with a sunny day :]

I will make this as one scenario. AND FOR THE FIRST ANON! SHOW YOURSELF! jk <3. I would not force you to do that! But yeah such an interesting gift Encanto!Yuu has but with their own disadvantage.

Sorry for the second anon, I put your scenario together because I thought it will be such a fit!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

All the students is enjoying themselves. Some are talking in the park even eating their lunch in there but then a very dark cloud start to form. In cafeteria...

Crowley: There you are, Prefect!

Yuu: Hm? Is something wrong Mr.Crowley?

Crowley: I need to you on my office this afternoon and please don't be late-.

Crowley sentence got cut with a blowing wind that make his head fly away and a mini tornado is been formed inside the Cafeteria.

You: Oh no! Did I do something wrong? Did Grim do something bad? Are you going to throw us out?!

Grim: YUU! THE FOOD! THE FOOD IS GET THROWN AWAYYY!

Crowley: Prefect! Control your power! I need to ask your help on some paperworks!

Bad choice of the word Crowley. Now you have a very dark cloud and thunder start to manifest inside the Cafetaria.

Yuu: AGAIN?! I THOUGHT I FINISHED IT YESTERDAY?! YOU ARE A LAZY PIECE OF-

Crowley: Forget what I said! Stop this weather and I pay for your food-Eek!

Crowley needs to dodge the stray lighting until suddenly everything turns back to normal again. Crowley with a very disheveled appearance makes a speechless expression on a little rainbow in Yuu's head. They are happy to get a treat like this.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Lol, imagine that the Ace and Deuce are already so used on Yuu power that they bring a backpack full of prepared items. Like an umbrella, raincoat, lighting rod, etc.

Crewel: Prepare yourself, puppy! We will have a quiz today. I didn't care if you prepare for it or not. And don't you dare-

JDARR! TSRASSS

Yuu: Oh no! I too focus on making sure Grim didn't mess up that I forget to study! What should I do?! I will get a red mark and will get thrown out and-

Ace: Yuu... The weather. Control the weather.

Ace and Deuce remind while covering up with the raincoat and umbrella. Everyone just look at them both dumbfounded. Crewel needs to change the schedule because the exam paper is wet.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

For the sleepover, the first years need to be clever. Especially for the movie night. They can't choose the overdramatic movie or scary movie and trust me, they learn a hard way.

Imagine, Yuu sniffling on the sofa when seeing a sad scene in the movie while the rest of the first years already build a tent inside the living rooms and currently take a cover under the tent.

Or when a scary part of the movie and Yuu accidentally create a thunder and burn the sofa.

Sebek: FIRE! WATER! I NEED WATER!

Epel: Yuu can you please be sad!

Yuu: ???

Haha 😂. What a rowdy bunch of juniors just spending time together. Eventually, Casita will help by providing the water to them.

[earlgreymon]

headcanon requests, you say? do you have any kenkari headcanons?

kenkari headcanons feel free to interpret these as platonic or romantic! #kenkariwasrobbed

hikari gave ken some hairclips after watching his match one day. she thought it must be a bother playing football with such long (and beautiful) hair, so maybe hairclips would help.

the next day, daisuke called them twin because of the similar haircut and the clip.

so ken started to tie his hair during a match. not that he didn’t like the hairclip; he was just shy.

(and hairclips were so much better than wearing a hat. sorry, takeru…)

in terms of kenyako, hikari was actually the one who helped ken to make a move (or to answer to miyako’s move, because let’s just be real: miyako’s the active one). ken often came to hikari to consult about miyako, even after ken had started dating miyako, and deep inside hikari felt so proud about that. (“hehe, i’m her jogress partner and her best friend—i know her better than mr. boyfriend do!”)

i still believe other than daisuke and miyako, hikari was actually the one who approached ken after the kaiser arc because she felt his struggle with darkness, even though it was still hard for her to apologise for his menace back then. (cue to ep 32 where hikari messaged ken before the kids headed to the digital world)

to be clear, they were not afraid of oceans. be that as it may, at one point in their life, she asked him to go to the beach. they did nothing; just staring at the vast, open water in silence. the ocean was the epitome of darkness for them, so they kinda “train” themselves to get used to it. they learned to suppress the darkness together—maybe “this year, i’ll be brave” was also ken’s mantra, chloe? :p

the beach visit became their routine agenda. every time ken wanted to go to the beach, he would definitely ask hikari too, and vice versa.

among the other digidestineds, hikari was the first one who ask to greet osamu (in japanese household, usually a family had some sort of altar to remember the dead, and one can “greet” the dead by praying in front of the altar). hikari had an older brother like ken, and she couldn’t imagine the burning pain if she lost taichi, hence she wanted to pay some respect.

while in the beginning tailmon was very sceptical towards ken, tailmon then found ken as one of the nicest people ever. being a mature digimon, tailmon really liked to be around someone who was intelligent and could have a meaningful discourse together. tailmon saw ken as one.

on the other hand, wormmon LOVES hikari—but who doesn’t? perhaps because hikari always had this warmth for digimon. if it’s not ken, other than daisuke, minomon only wanted to be hanged in the arms of hikari.

yes, they accidentally bought their mantle at the same place. (if it’s not them going to muji together…)

also, we knew that ken became a heartthrob in college thanks to the newest 02. don’t care what other people said, but i think he would ask hikari to pretend to be his girlfriend once to avoid the fangirl commotion. she was his only option considering miyako was abroad.

ken developed an interest to protect kids after the event with the dark spores. when he studied psychology in college, one of his favourite subjects was child psychology. he conversed a lot with hikari who also took the same class

this was also the reason why, after he became a police, he would drop by around the daycare/kindergarten where hikari worked even though he might not be posted around the area. he wanted to make sure that the kids were safe.

(jk, he actually wanted to see her too)

every year, hikari would pester him to come to the career day as your friendly neighbourhood policeman. he gladly accepted though

(no, he didn’t have the ability to shoot spider web, but he came with wormmon who could shoot sticky nets, so that’s basically the same thing… right?)

[1kook]

youtube & use lube

part 7 of my netflix and chill collection!

summary: You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube.  warnings: smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook rating: mature (18+) miscellaneous: domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3  word count: 8.7k  

notes: finally…. 7 parts later and we get ~✨💓sub kook💓✨~ this was honestly my fave to write I think because I was obSESSEDDD with his softness and yn leading hehe /.\ also yeah we time jumped 6 months bc uhmmm 😎 story progression also here’s [ THE KOOK U SHOULD IMAGINE FOR THIS 😡 ] also if see a typo ummm no u didn't .

let me know what u think! a simple ask goes a long way <3

Despite what past experiences may dictate, Jungkook’s body is actually quite resilient. It’s due in part to his obnoxiously healthy lifestyle; avocado breakfasts, gym rat tendencies, and a normal person’s circadian rhythm (you could never relate). He lives the life health professionals can only dream of writing down in their notes, so careful of his well-being that it’s almost annoying. Of all the habits you help him break, the rituals he sometimes forgets, his health is never one and it’s actually one he ropes you into quite often. The ladder accident last summer had truly been an odd occurrence, and for a while after, you doubt anything else will ever happen to him. 

And then winter comes. 

Now, Jungkook, with all his superior bodily systems and strict lifestyle, is still not immune to the common cold. So when he comes down with a stuffy nose, a saggy frame, you’re not too surprised. It’s right after New Year’s, which you had spent it at one of Taehyung’s classic overcrowded parties this year, shivering on a rooftop as he kissed you silly under the fireworks, so one of you was bound to get sick. And you were sick for Halloween, so it’s only the universe’s way of leveling the playing field when he gets sick after New Years. 

What does surprise you is when he doesn’t bounce back right away. Usually, Jungkook’s high caliber immune system has him in tip top shape about two days later. But this time around, it takes a while. In fact, it takes longer than usual, and you don’t realize until you’re coming over on a Friday night, met with an unusual silence at the Jeon household. 

As you slowly grew accustomed to your life out of school, you and Jungkook accepted that you didn’t really have time to be glued to each other’s hips at all hours of the day. It was only natural that sometimes you had too much work, were too tired, or were just not in the mood to visit each other. That was fine, and you’ve come to quite appreciate this new routine, because it only made your heart flutter faster than before when you did see him next. You don’t have to see each other everyday, and that was fine; it was part of growing up together (and growing old together, your sappy heart says).

But today, this separation ends up being your downfall. Jungkook first showed signs of a cold on Monday, and now it was Friday and you hadn’t heard from him in two days. You’re beginning to suspect he’s come down with something severe— maybe that strain of the flu that he forgot to get vaccinated for this year —or even worse, dead.

Luckily, Jungkook isn’t dead, just sadly slumped across the end of his bed, nose a bright red and hair a tangled mess. “Oh no,” you frown, but there’s not an ounce of distress in your voice, because boy, was he cute. 

He groans at the sight of you. “Don’t look at me,” he whimpers, hands fisting the sheets. “I’m ugly.”

You bite down on a smile, hang your bag on the hook behind his bedroom door. He’s barely making an effort to stay on the bed, clinging to the side with such powerless hands. “Absolutely hideous,” you play along, arms wrapping around his middle. Registering your touch, your support, he immediately releases what little grip he had and almost sends the two of you tumbling to the ground. “My poor baby,” you croon, manhandling him back into the comfort of his sheets. 

Perhaps the reason you believed Jungkook was so immune was because, well, he never let you see him sick. 

He was picky about his presentation to the world, always wanting to show his best side. And well, you were in that world. Hell, you were probably the main person he wanted to show off for (not to toot your own horn), so he avidly avoided showing you his unpleasant sides. Even in college, when you had been practically stuck to his side, he had always made a big deal of pushing you away when he was sick, calling off dates and hiding away at his house. 

You sort of knew why. Namjoon had told you once that Jungkook when drunk was the equivalent of a needy, whiny baby. You could attest to that because wine drunk Jungkook and vodka drunk Jungkook were quite the experiences to haul home. And apparently Jungkook when sick was more or less the same. He was all doe eyes and pouty lips, magnified by his weakened appearance. He was adorable. 

He’s wearing a lot of layers, but it’s still winter so you don’t think too much of it. Dark long sleeve sweatshirt, the front tucked into some cute brown and black checkered pants. You see it as just some casual at home attire until you reach for his covers, hand brushing his hair from his face, only to find it ice cold. 

“Oh, you’re freezing, honey,” you frown, for real this time. Jungkook whimpers, snuggles into the sheets you pull up to his chin. He dozes off soon after, pouty lips chapped to hell and back. You reach for your chapstick, deciding to get one good use of it on your own lips before contaminating it with Jungkook’s sick germs. Even in his sleep he’s a good boy, rolling his lips together after you’ve applied it on him. 

With Jungkook knocked out, you pad back downstairs and into his kitchen. You can more or less infer that he’s come down with something a little more intense than a cold. His skin was cold, and his nose was runny, but, oddly enough, he wasn’t sweating. You decide to consult a professional. 

“The little gremlin is sick?” Doyeon repeats, a comforting buzz in your ear as you get to work making Jungkook your famous Get Better Soon Soup, idly waiting for the water to boil over. You confirm. Doyeon, legend that she was, accidentally sat an entire physiology class one semester (and passed), so this is the closest you’ll get to a doctor friend. “Hm,” she says, “what’re his symptoms?”

You press your phone between your ear and shoulder, clattering around Jungkook’s kitchen for ingredients. “Runny nose and colder than your ass that one time you passed out in the snow,” you supply. “Oh, but not sweating.”

Doyeon hums over the line, tells you to give her a second, and disappears. “WebMD is saying fever, but you said he’s not sweating?” You confirm again. “Throw him in front of the heater and make him sweat then. He has to burn it out somehow.”

“I can’t do that,” you sigh, pausing when you hear some vague sound from around the house. It’s not Jungkook, so you return to your call. Anyway, Jungkook’s house is, like, perfect. Always warm when need be and always cold as well. You don’t even think he knows what a space heater is. “He’s sick sick. Like, can barely hold himself up sick.” 

She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”

Anyway, Jungkook probably has a fever, except it’s weird because he’s not sweating it out. He wakes up about an hour later, but this time he’s more self aware. He eats his soup and takes the medicine you offer him. Afterwards, he can’t go back to sleep so he huffily asks for his iPad and begins watching some weirdly specific YouTube videos you don’t think you’ve ever seen him watch before. 

You have absolutely no idea what he’s watching, some niche videos of guys in Singapore turning random forest areas into underwater pools? You don’t know. Jungkook seems interested, though, for all of ten minutes until he falls asleep again. 

He’s still cold, poor baby, nose like an ice cube that just won’t melt. You find a heating pad you left over in his closet and place it on his chest. Your thought process is that if his heart, the source of all energy, was warm, then certainly the rest of him will warm up soon enough. Yeah, you missed the last three seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; you were a little rusty. 

So with Jungkook fast asleep and nothing else to do, you assume the age-old, patriarchal task of cleaning around the house. 

His house was usually neat and tidy, mostly as a result of Jungkook’s virgo manifestations, but even those varied. His living room tended to be spotless, but his personal office was a different story. But with him having been out of it this past week, the entire house is littered in tiny garbage that would make Normal Jungkook burst a blood vessel.

There’s a pile of Reese’s wrappers in the downstairs bathroom, on the sink next to his toothbrush. The sight makes you sad, because your poor boy must have been struggling if he was eating candy in the bathroom, where he… uses the bathroom. And then that thought makes you even sadder, thinking back to all the times he was sick and alone, fending for himself out of his weird embarrassment of showing normal body functions. 

You had thought he was cute when you first arrived— he still was —but he was also so weak and frail, bulky muscles rendered useless by whatever bacteria was attacking his body, making him sleepy and in pain for god knows how long. With a resolute nod, you sweep all the wrappers into the trash and decide to do your very best at helping Jungkook get through this sickness and bounce back better than ever. 

Before leaving his bathroom, you ransack his cabinets, deciding he probably keeps most of his antibiotics here. It’s a spot you never really snoop around, because Jungkook always keeps a fully stocked basket in his closet filled with your typical necessities— from conditioner to pads to nail polish remover, he kept it all. And furthermore, you always tended to use his upstairs bathroom anyway, so that’s where your toothbrush and the like were kept. There was really no need for you to ever look through the downstairs bathroom’s cabinet. So the downstairs bathroom cabinet is practically the other side of the world to you, a culture shock so strong it has you plopping down in front of it to thoroughly sift through. 

He’s got a disgusting amount of hair products, none of which you actually think you’ve ever seen him use, and a maniacal amount of tooth stuff. Now, you were quite possibly the biggest proponent for dental care, but this was ridiculous. Four packs of floss on reserve, and about three cases of those dental picks. A whole family pack of toothbrushes and one of those cute little cases for his retainer you’ve seen a few times. 

So overwhelmed with his ungodly stash of dental hygiene utilities, you almost miss the pretty pink tube hidden in the very back corner. 

You’re thinking it’s some makeup primer you left before that he mistook for moisturizer, probably dumped it with all his other things, only to find out you are very, very wrong. 

Sensation Warming Lubricant: NOW! in strawberry flavor 

You blink. 

Lubricant? Jungkook was using lubricant? Strawberry, sensation warming lubricant?!

Somewhere in your mind you had convinced yourself that Jungkook was a simple man, a lotion at his bedside drawer type of man. He had you for the last one and half year, and you two fucked like rabbits, so you hardly doubt he was jacking it alone these days. And even if he was, why on earth was he so specific about the type of lube he uses?

You turn the bottle around, eyes scanning for an expiration date or something of the like, only to find that the copyright symbol was under this current year. The year that had just started, like, two weeks ago. 

Oh, so this was new. 

You turn it over, eyes scanning over the warnings like it’ll tell you something about your boyfriend you don’t know yet, some other hidden secret that he’s maybe held from you. Granted, owning lube isn’t really a big deal, but the fact he’s got it so hidden away (not really, it was casually sitting beside his sunscreen) was definitely something to zero in on. 

Strawberry flavored, you read again, warming, stimulating, edible? Forget his weirdly extensive floss collection, you had stumbled upon something amazing in here, the goddamn Hope Diamond among snooping girlfriend finds. You’ll confront him about this later, you decide, when he’s back to normal and not whiningly calling your name from upstairs. You pocket it for now, tucking it into your cardigan pockets for said later interrogation, and bound up the stairs to him again. 

He’s sitting up in bed like a very angry and confused toddler, brows furrowed sharply like he’s mad. Actually, he just can’t see, the light from the hallway blinding him, so you shut the door and flick on his bedside lamp for him instead. “Hi, honey,” you coo, sitting down on the edge beside him. He’s still waking up, leaning a little too heavily into your palm when you cup his face. “How’re you feeling?”

“Terrible,” he rasps out, but he’s definitely looking better than before. You don’t know if you imagine it, but there’s this slowly accumulating sweat that forms along the base of his neck. “Please don’t leave again,” he says softly, droopy eyes glassy. 

Something shoots straight to your heart— an arrow from Cupid himself! —that makes you stroke his cheek tenderly until his eyelids are fluttering shut again. “I won’t,” you promise, feeling around for his iPad. He doesn’t seem like he’ll fall back asleep, sitting up with more strength than he had that morning. 

You end up climbing behind him, let him be the little spoon you know he secretly craves to be, as he watches his weird YouTube videos again. His body is so warm against yours, but his skin is still so cold. If what Doyeon had said was true, it’s no wonder he’s kept the same sickness all week. The rhythmic sound of machetes hacking at the earth and water trickling through bamboo pipes grows on you, makes you fall into a sense of comfort behind him, arms tracing circles over his chest. 

It’s a mindless habit, one you actually do a lot. Most of the time, it’s when he’s at his desk and stressed out, your masseuse hands making an appearance to soothe the muscles in his neck and chest from being hunched over for so long. Even now, your fingers unconsciously press into the fabric over his pecks, tickle up his sternum until he’s melting against you. 

It takes one quiet whimper from him to let you know exactly how he’s feeling. “Everything alright?” you inquire, halting your movements over his chest. Jungkook nods shakily, head lolling forward. The nape of his neck calls to you, whispers for a kiss that you tenderly bestow upon it. It makes Jungkook jolt, another pretty sound leaving his lips at the press of your warm lips against his sensitive neck. 

“No more,” he mumbles, rolls his head around until it’s resting against your shoulder, giving you a clear view down his chest. You slide your hands back up from where they’d gone stiff just around his ribs, let them palm over his pecs. Jungkook’s hips buck, a minuscule movement you almost miss. 

His heart thunders like the inside of a horse race track beneath your palm, breath picking up just from the simple motion of your hands on his chest. It’s on the fourth circle around his pecs that you feel your pinky briefly catch on something. “Poor thing,” you sigh, running the pad of your pointer finger over the hardened nipple that peaks beneath his sweatshirt. “Is this what was bothering you?” 

A shaky exhale in response, hands tightly clutching at his iPad and beloved YouTube video genre. “N-No,” he denies, but you chance a peak at his face, where his lips are bitten a rosy pink color, its slightly muted sister rushing down his cheeks, over his neck. 

You press the lightest of kisses to the side of his neck, and he shivers. “Need me to take care of you?” you purr, trail your hands down his chest towards where the hem of his sweater sits. You run your finger over it twice, before moving to slip your hand beneath. Your fingers brush along his abs, contracted tightly at your touch, and slowly make their way back up his chest. 

Fingers find his pebbled nipples, a gasp escaping his lips. “Does this feel good?” you ask softly, pinching the swollen nubs between your fingers. Jungkook groans, body arching just the slightest as you rub his nipples, tug and twist them until he’s a whining mess. “Need you to tell me, honey,” you encourage, lips ghosting over his neck. 

The second kiss has him flinching as well, head rapidly turning the other way as you slowly kiss over his neck. “___, please,” he pants, knuckles pale on the sides of the iPad. You're afraid it’ll snap, if not from his grip then from the way he pushes at it, like he’s breaking a wooden board over his knee. It’s still on YouTube, playing another video from the same collection, volume competing with Jungkook’s tiny sounds. 

Pressing your lips to his neck, you kiss along it slowly, reveling in the lovely noises that Jungkook produces the more you rub his nipples, lower body squirming animatedly before you. Your kisses grow wet for a short period, suck purple blossoms across his skin until Jungkook is quivering like a leaf. “E-Enough,” he begs, voice a wobbly mess that is so light and airy. 

You grin, giving his rockhard nipples one last flick before sliding your hands down his chest, over his stomach to toy with the elastic of his pants. He inhales sharply, iPad nearly snapped in half mid video. Ready to play with him some more (and slightly afraid for the future of his tablet), you reach out a hand to move it away, set it off to the side. 

But Jungkook doesn’t release it. In fact, he clings to the damn piece of tech tighter than before. “Hmm?” you murmur, bottom lip brushing against his neck once more. “Not letting go, sweetheart?” 

He shakes his head, soft crown of curls bouncing from the movement. “Can’t, can’t,” he shivers. His knees shift back and forth, move between being casually spread and flush together. Like he’s hiding something, using the iPad and the videos on screen as cover. You tug at his wrist and Jungkook shakes his head again. 

You change tactics, hand sliding around his wrist instead. The other travels up, up, up, comes curling around the base of his neck. Jungkook whimpers, tilts his head back for you cutely at the first brush of your fingers against his Adam’s apple. “Thought you were my good boy?” you ask, eyes zeroed in on the tremble of his lower lip. 

Jungkook exhales shakily, a rather torn expression crossing his features. “I am,” he insists, fingers still tight “I am your good boy.”

You smile, stroking the front of his neck softly as you lean down to press a kiss against his cheek. “You are, aren’t you?” He whimpers. “Then let go, honey,” you murmur, hand on his wrist giving another experimental tug. Still, his grip remains solid. “Jungkook,” you snap, “let go.”

“Y-You’ll laugh,” he cries, yet his grip slowly weakens. It’s with a swift tug that the iPad tumbles to his side, presses against his hip, and shows you the raging hard-on that stirs beneath the front of his cotton pants. Pressed nearly beside your ear, Jungkook shivers. 

Ever so slowly, your hands return to their place around his waist. “Why would I laugh, sweetheart?” you mumble, marveling at the way his cock twitches and jumps beneath his pants before you can even touch it. His shirt is hiked up just above his abs, your hands tenderly stroking over the skin beneath his navel, but it’s got Jungkook writhing. “Hips up for me,” you instruct. 

He shakes even when he pushes himself up, knees wobbling as you slip your hands beneath his waistband and tug them down his thighs. Afterwards, his legs flop forward flatly, spread out with his beautiful swollen cock on display against his hip. 

You trap it at the base and Jungkook mewls, hands fisting the sheets now that his beloved iPad has been snatched away. It’s still playing his videos, interrupting his saccharine moans with corny ads every few minutes. A hand snaps up to join, opposite of yours, until your fingers are entwined around his dick. How romantic, you think, discreetly rolling your hips back against the mattress. “Gonna help me make you cum?” you ask instead, give him a light squeeze that makes him jolt. 

“Uh huh,” he responds, feathery. 

You reward him with a kiss to his cheek, reaching up to brush away the hair that’s begun sticking to his forehead. In the very back of your head you recognize this as being good for his fever, but the rest of you is more concerned with the pretty pout on his lips. “Hold tight for me,” you smile, releasing his cock to press your finger against the very tip of his cock where a pearly drop of precum has begun forming. “So pretty, Jungkookie,” you praise, teasing the length of your finger over the slit on his head. It has that juicy droplet coating your finger, gliding seamlessly over and over again. 

The simple touch makes him buck, has him blindly wrapping an arm around your bent knee that was pressed to his side this whole time. He squeezes around you rather weakly, the majority of his strength going to holding his cock tightly like you’d instructed. He’s such a good boy for you, trying his absolute best, even when you’re very obviously overwhelming him. 

You roll the flat side of your finger over him, his mushroom tip slowly growing more and more slick as he produces more precum. It’s shiny, fits perfectly between your clasped fingers when you squeeze around his head. Jungkook’s breath turns labored. 

He’s always so well kept down there, skin so smooth and free of hairs, and you know he does it because he wants to impress you. “So pretty, baby,” you hum, acknowledging his efforts. Your praise makes Jungkook moan, suddenly fucking up into his hand. It’s accidental, because he hisses at the drag of his dry palm around his relatively dry dick immediately. 

“Hurts, hurts,” he whimpers prettily, lower lip caught between his teeth. 

You frown, slide your wet fingers down the base of his cock until they’re wrapping around his and Jungkook’s little gasps even out. “I’m sorry, baby, you gotta be patie—“

Something presses against your hip, something distinctly hard that you had hastily picked up from his bathroom cabinet earlier, and a whole new door opens before your eyes. “Hold still for me,” you tell him quickly as you release your grip around his cock. Jungkook wails at the separation, but you’re more concerned with wrestling the tube out of your pocket with one hand. It’s heavy in your palm, turning over until that big fat label on front comes into view again. 

Jungkook explodes at the sight. “Wh— Where did you find that?” he stammers, cheeks ablaze. “I-I don’t know where that came fro—“

You ignore him, hold the bottle of lubricant over his stomach as you uncap it, a gooey pink substance spilling over into your hands the moment the lid pops off. Jungkook is still rambling away about the origins of the bottle, as if you care. You set the bottle on his tummy, the cold plastic makes him shiver. But you know what’s not cold? The warming lube in your hands that only takes three rubs of your palms to activate. 

You latch down like a crazed animal around his cock. With both your hands fighting to grip at his cock, you’re pressed closer against Jungkook, lips against the shell of his ear. 

The initial touch makes him sob, back arching and legs kicking at the sheets piled at the foot of the bed as your slick hands track the lube over his dick. “No!” he cries, hands wildly reaching out to grab whatever he can as you slowly get to work pulling him off. “I-I can’t, __, I can’t.”

“You can,” you coo, watching the translucent pink substance coat his cock, join his sticky precum. 

Maybe you get overexcited in your efforts, forget Jungkook is the way he is right now because he was still a little weak from his fever, but you go crazy on stroking his cock. One hand lingers around the base, squeezing and rolling over his balls, palm pressing against the hardened sac and squeezing there too. The other focuses at the tip, does most of the actual stroking over his cock. His head is leaking precum now, every stroke and squeeze making him shudder and push out another drop, until it’s mixing with the lube to form a sticky sweet substance that you wanna lick at so bad. 

So you do. 

You release one hand to curiously bring it up to your face, turning it over and around as you examine the stickiness on your fingers, the fat drop that unintentionally drips onto the front of Jungkook’s sweatshirt. He sobs at the sight of your lips around your fingers, squirms and bucks into the hand still on his cock until he’s embarrassingly coming. “I’m sorry,” he wails, hands fisting the sheets, fucking into your hand like a virgin. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to.” 

You draw your hand away, watching in slow motion the cum that just spurted from his cock come dribbling down the slowly softening length now. “Oh, sweetheart,” you croon, hands on his tummy. The bottle of lube slips to the side, meets the still playing iPad at his hip. It’s sticky and gross to touch him like this, especially when you know Jungkook hates being unnecessarily dirty, but you can’t stop yourself from softly caressing him, soothe him after such a hard-hitting orgasm. 

Honestly you had thought he would hold up a little more, let you get in a few more strokes, but he must’ve been more sensitive than you thought. “I’m sorry,” he cries again, head lolling to the side to meet your gaze with watery eyes. 

You tilt his head to the side, angle him just right for you to bestow your first kiss of the night against his little pout. Jungkook hiccups, melts against you as you slowly guide him through the kiss. He’s sloppy and shy, moves nothing like your normal Jungkook, and that fact alone has you slipping your tongue past his lips. He doesn’t fight back, just lets you play with him and sighs all delicately against your mouth. 

There’s something about this, his soft and submissive attitude, that has you pulling away to look at him. Big brown eyes, glassed over with unshed tears, and plush lips that call your name. And yet. 

“Open,” you murmur, hypnotized by the way that tiny mouth moves. 

“Huh?” Jungkook flushes, but he’s so good, he’s your good boy, and does so anyway. Lower lip quivers as he parts his lips, stuttering exhales creeping through as you purse your lips, let the saliva collect on your mouth, before rudely spitting into his. He flinches, whimpers softly, and swallows. He looks at you with these expectant eyes, like he wants to hear how much of a good boy he is, so you do exactly that. 

You brush his bangs away lovingly. “Aren’t you just so good for me,” you purr, revel in the way his eyes flutter shut at your touch, like you could never hurt him, and you won’t. 

As sweet as the moment is, there’s a raging fire in your core begging to be stroked, and your hyperfixation on Jungkook’s mouth lets you know there’s only one way to chase the feeling. “Up,” you tell Jungkook, who whimpers sadly when you finally escape from behind him. 

But you don’t get too far, settling beside him on the bed until you’re looking at the damage you’ve caused from the front. His skin is sticky in some places, pink sheen of the lube decorating him from your incessant touching. Pants around his thighs, shirt against his chest. His face is flushed, all the way down to his chest and up to his ears, so rosy and pink all for you. He shies away under your gaze, drops his head to his chin bashfully. 

You grin, shuffle forward to turn those pretty eyes back towards you. “Messy little thing,” you tease, slotting your mouths together again. Jungkook moans this time, lazily kissing you back. His lips move in slow motion, trembling hands reaching for your face to cup, your name falling from his lips when you pull away slightly. “Need you to help me out now,” you murmur, hand on his jaw. “Can you do that, honey?” Jungkook nods hurriedly, eyes foggy and on your mouth. “Lay back.”

He does so, rushes to lay against the pillows until he’s flat on his back. You get to work on your clothes, shed your cardigan and languidly tug your top over your head in the way you know makes your breasts bounce. Beneath you, Jungkook whines at the sight. “You too,” you remind him, wiggling out of your jeans. At your instruction, he begins fumbling with his clothes, pants and underwear haphazardly thrown over the edge of the bed. 

By the time you’re naked, you’re met with a rather amusing sight. 

In his haste to take his clothing off, Jungkook seems to have gotten himself tangled in his long sleeves, shirt awkwardly bunched up around his wrists and twisted over some. You chuckle. “Help please,” he asks so politely, shaking his arms back and forth above his head. But you’re genuinely confused as to what he did, because one of the sleeves wraps around the other, pins the bulk of the fabric to his skin, and then the other wraps around that. A mess you don’t bother dissecting, simply climbing over him. He complains, of course, soft huffs you wave off. 

“Don’t need them anyway,” you shrug, can’t help the lovesick look you send him when you brush his hair away for the umpteenth time. Jungkook leans into the touch sweetly, rosy cheek pressed against your palm. “Lemme see your pretty little tongue,” you order, pussy clenching when he does as told and rolls his tongue out for you, tip pressed against his bottom lip. “Good boy.”

A soft whimper, and then you’re shuffling over him, pretty doe eyes watching with amazement when you finally hover over his face. “For me?” he asks so softly, so sweetly. 

It’s a question you’ve heard him utter countless times before in similar settings, always with a cocky grin and mean eyes, ready to send you to hell and back with his tongue or his cock. But it’s different now, big shiny eyes looking at you like you’re the greatest thing to ever happen in his life, so pliant and demure beneath your touch like he lived to serve you. 

“All for you,” you assure him, get comfortable, and slowly lower your pussy over his face. His eyes flutter shut immediately, pink tongue ready for you by the time your dripping cunt nears his face. 

You can’t help the moan that tears itself from your throat, a soft cry as he begins lapping against your folds. He’s so tender, so careful. It drives you crazy. Hands above his head squirming as you slowly grind your pussy over his face, more mindful than usual because he was so delicate tonight, like a baby bird that shivers with the simplest touch. 

His tongue is smooth, circles around your clit. He nudges your bundle of nerves back and forth a few times, sends an initial wave of tingles down your spine, before taking it between puckered lips. His slurps it into his mouth, where it’s so hot and wet, it makes your grind stutter. “Oh,” you pant, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “P-Perfect,” you mumble. 

The praise makes his features twist up cutely, mouth desperate to get more out of you. “You like that?” you gasp, holding his head still as he runs his tongue along your folds. Jungkook nods, eyes glazed over as he messily begins eating you out. “Like when I tell you you’re a good boy, Jungkookie?” 

He lets out a broken whine, the vibrations shooting up your spine and making you shiver. Tongue pressed in at your entrance, prods gently like it’s his first time (it’s not) and he’s gauging your reactions. “Oh baby,” you shudder, fingers tightening in his curls. 

He looks like an angel beneath you like this, halo of curls artfully splayed across the sheets, arms knotted above his head. Big pretty eyes that make you want to lay down and be his bitch instead, their power just so strong even when he’s whining and whimpering against your pussy like this. His tongue dips into your cunt, makes you buck against him by accident. “I’m sorry, angel,” you breathe, so caught up in your thoughts that the name just slips. It makes Jungkook’s cheeks flush a pretty pink, arms tug at their makeshift restraints. But his brain is scattered, torn between releasing himself, eating you out, and being shy. 

He settles soon enough, ends up just sticking his tongue out flat for you to grind against, using the grip in his curls to drag your pussy over his face. His scalp feels warm, sweat clinging to his hairline. He sighs endearingly against you, and it’s that final puff of warm air against your folds that has you coming, cum dripping over his lips and chin sinfully. 

When you finish, you quickly get off of him, lay down beside him. Jungkook is panting softly, tongue peeking out to taste the cum that splattered against the corner of his lips. “You were so good for me,” you praise, idly dragging your finger across his skin, collecting your cum on the tip. 

Jungkook looks at you with a heavy gaze, knotted wrists slowly returning to rest over his abdomen. “Can you… Can you call me that again?” he asks hesitantly, so shy and polite. 

“Hm?” you ask. “Angel?” His lips part, an awfully aroused look crossing his features. You smile, press your cum loaded finger against his lips and he opens, sucks around your finger and moans. “My pretty little angel,” you purr, slowly thrusting your finger in and out of his mouth. Before you can stop yourself, you’re leaning over to kiss him again, swallowing his cries in your desperate need to taste yourself on his tongue. Jungkook is more active this time around, daringly challenging your tongue with his before ultimately giving up, languidly following the pace you set for the kiss. You pull off with a pop, leave him dazed and trailing after your mouth cutely. 

You pat his cheek once, offer him a tender smile, before moving to get up and clean up. Jungkook whines at your departure, and it’s only once you’ve sat up that you realize why. 

Half hard cock at his hip, fattening slowly but surely. Instantly, it’s like the post-orgasm fatigue is yanked away, pussy throbbing at the sight of your angel and his cock, swelling from eating you out and kissing. He was too good to be true. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” you sigh dramatically, shifting onto your knees at his hip to look at him. Something pokes your leg; it’s the stupid iPad playing his dorky YouTube videos that you click off and chuck to the other side of the bed. You had had enough of that by now. 

He’s not at full mast yet, and he’s not getting there quick enough for your liking. So you take matters into your own hands. (Besides, what was stopping you tonight? Certainly not this soft, pliant Jungkook.)

Kneeling between his legs, you reach for the forgotten bottle of lube, squirt a fat glob into your hands, then decide that isn’t enough and squirt it directly onto your chest. Jungkook watches with wide eyes, lower lip caught between his teeth. “What— What’re you doing?” he stammers, can’t even sit up with his hands held together. “__, y-you don’t have—“

Squeezing your breasts together, you slip his cock between the crevice, watch as his angry head comes out on the other side so easily, so slippery. Oh, this was gonna be post-work, shower-time, spank bank material for months. 

Jungkook sobs, loud and unfiltered at the sight, expression torn as he watches you slowly work your tightened breasts down his quickly hardening member. “T-Too much, too much,” he cries, squirming and bucking beneath you. “I-I’ll come—” 

“Don’t,” you snap, stilling your moments to flick your eyes back to him. His head is rolled back, jaw strained, but when he manages to lift it up and look down at you, there’s tears that streak his cute face, trails that glisten when the lowlight of the lamp hits him just right. “Don’t fucking come yet, Jungkook.”

He sniffles weakly, more tears spilling from his eyes. “But I— it feels,” he blubbers, knotted hands reaching down for the base of his cock. You slap it away. “___, please,” he wails, face flushed from all his conflicting emotions. 

Ignoring his cries, you get back to work, moving your upper body to and fro to simulate the thrusting motion he is too weak to do himself. He whimpers pitifully, more tears leaving his eyes when you lean down and spit on the head of his cock when it emerges next, make it join the rest of the ungodly fluids painting your chest. Honestly, you’re certain it’s that damned strawberry flavored, sensation warming, edible lube that makes this experience so enjoyable, so mind-blowing. 

Jungkook seems to agree, stuttering out a messy whine. “Feels weird,” he snivels, only to be cut off when you release him from in between your tits. Immediately, he begins lamenting the loss. 

Slowly, you ease him back in. You’re beginning to understand the intensity of that damned warming lube, because with each glide of his cock between your breasts, it’s like a tingle of nerves sparks within you, insides folding in on themselves as they channel all their energy to that one area of hastily spread lube. It feels so good and wet and messy, Jungkook’s whiny sniffles only fueling the experience. His cock twitches dangerously, and you flash him a glare. “Jungkook,” you warn. 

“I’m sorry,” he weeps, thrashing back and forth as if that makes it any easier. “I just— I want,” he chokes, hips bucking into the suction you’ve created between your boobs. Tentatively, you stick your tongue out, let his tip brush against it on the next thrust. Jungkook curses, a feral groan escaping his lips. “Wanna fuck,” he seethes, “now.”

It’s but a slight peek into his regular personality, his normal mannerisms. But something about it now annoys you. In fact, it pisses you off, seeing him be so complacent and sweet just to try and overthrow you at the last second. And it’s with this same train of thought that you release him, climb over him like a crazed sex demon, and press your hand to his throat. 

“You're supposed to be good,” you spit, scowl turned on him and it immediately has Jungkook drawing back with his tail tucked, falling into line as he should. “You’re supposed to be my angel tonight, remember?”

Jungkook nods, big round eyes looking at you like you’re insane, but the cock that presses against your ass tells you that he likes it. “I-I’m sorry,” he stutters, shrinking back into the mattress. Sticky hands around his throat, probably make him warm and tingly, but all you can think about is those pretty eyes. Sensing your wavering emotions, he takes advantage by tilting his chin forward for you cutely, pink lips trembling as he silently asks for a kiss. 

You release him.

“Stupid angel,” you huff, mouth against his. “Gonna make me mad if you don’t act right,” you remind him, pushing his sweaty curls away from his face. He whimpers against your mouth, let’s you play with his hair as you calm down. He’s a blushing mess beneath you, every inch of him flushed and warm and sweaty. 

You shift back and are met with his still rock hard member against your ass. You touch him appreciatively, reaching back to stroke him with a half-assed grip. It makes him moan nonetheless, pulling away from your lips to mewl against your shoulder. “Wanna fuck?” you hum, curling your hand over the tip like he likes, watching his head roll back against his pillow at the sensation. Jungkook groans, doesn’t seem to hear you now. You try again. “Wanna fuck my pussy, baby?”

“Yes,” he gasps this time, jolts when you press the tip of your finger against the slit on his head, plug his cock from releasing any more precum. “Please, please,” he begs, the hands on his chest straining against the shirt he still hasn’t managed to shake off. 

One last kiss is delivered to him, a chaste one against his pout that makes him whine. “Whatever you want,” you purr, line him up. 

Your hands are still sticky with the lube and so is his cock. Everything is sticky; his cock, you folds, your tits, his neck. It’s a big sticky, slippery mess, but you can’t even be annoyed because everything feels so good. Your tits tingle from whatever they put in that damn lube, nipples rock hard and extra swollen today, like if you don’t touch them you’ll die. You sink back into Jungkook’s throbbing cock, and the second his cock spreads the lube along your walls, you’re jolting because it just feels so damn good. 

You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. 

His cock pushes past your folds, fits snugly inside of you just like it belongs. It still feels like the first time, feels like your first day where he was so perfect and sweet. Part of you wonders what would have become of you two if he had reacted like this that day, soft and whiny, when you first prepositioned him. Maybe the sexual aspect of your relationship would be entirely different today, maybe you’d be one the always leading. 

But… you’re not sure if you’d want that. Leading is fun— hell, you’re certain this moment will be what you get engraved on your tombstone —but you were a pillow princess at heart with occasional dominant tendencies. You drool over this moment now, but if he asks for this again tomorrow you might actually bend over and die. It was a lot of work, keeping the energy going, and you find yourself having this newfound sense of respect for Jungkook as his cock slips past your folds. 

Anyway, when you sit on his cock, fingers teasingly tightening around his throat, Jungkook’s eyes are weirdly focused on your tits. He’s been doing that a lot lately, losing his mind by just staring at your tits. On some occasions he puts them in his mouth, gets possessed by some titty loving monster and sucks on them until you’re trembling. It’s fine because it’s quite frankly a huge ego boost, but something him now makes you want to pick at him for it. 

“They’re yours to taste, angel,” you hum, slowly rolling your hips over his fat cock. Jungkook whimpers, softly ruts up into your heat the next time you press down. “Tell me what you want,” you exhale, a breathy moan. 

He doesn’t say anything, just drops his mouth open for you with a trembling lower lip. Tongue peeks out, eyes glazed over in his lust, looking every bit like those hentai ads he hates so much. But you fulfill his wishes, help him sit up until he’s flush against your chest. His awkwardly bound hands get squished in the middle, and he says, “m-my hands...” 

“I’ve got you,” you soothe, undo his self-made restraints and toss them to the side. Immediately, he’s wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush against him to latch his lips around your breasts. “S-Slow down,” you whine, hands on his biceps as he sucks your tit into his mouth, twirls his tongue around your nipple. He’s good with his tongue even when he’s sick. 

He pulls off with a pop, ragged breathing only making you more sensitive as it fans over the thin layer of saliva he leaves on your tits. “Tastes like strawberries,” he groans wondrously, head against your chest. You use the lull to get back to fucking yourself on him, but Jungkook’s got other plans. He rolls the two of you over, pins you beneath him with his hot and sweaty body. “I’m sorry,” he moans as he begins jackhammering his thrusts into you. 

Your back arches, legs thrown around his waist as the sudden change of events. “Fffuck,” you heave, “harder, angel— gotta fuck like you mean it.”

Jungkook shudders, hands looped around the small of your back. His cock rams into you over and over, each glide of it against the walls of your pussy making you unravel in his arms. His lips latch around your other boob, suck and suck like he’s expecting something to come out.

That’s when it hits you. 

“N-Nothing there,” you tell him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. His lashes are wet, eyes pinching tighter at your reminder. He pulls away almost to protest, but then you’re guiding him up to your face, hot breath mingling with yours. “Nothing there because you haven’t given me a baby yet,” you murmur darkly, watch the emotions flood his features as you tap into that taboo kink of his. 

He chokes, grinds his cock into you and holds it there. “I-I didn’t,” he sniffs, “we never— you never said,” he whines, “...you wanted one.”

You cup his face in his hands, feel slightly mean for the pride you get from his tear stricken appearance. “I do,” you purr, lazily kissing him. “Want one if it’s from you. Don’t you?” He nods like an antsy puppy, quivering against you as he slowly and shallowly ruts into you. “Don’t you wanna see me like that, angel?” you egg on, hands looping behind his neck, idly playing with stray waves and curls. “Tummy so big and swollen because you did something bad, because you couldn’t pull out.” 

Jungkook sobs, pulls you impossibly closer until the head of his cock is missing your cervix repeatedly. One of your legs is pressed nearly to your chest, hip tight from the force in which he holds you. “I-I want,” he agrees, more tears spilling down his cheeks. 

You smirk evilly, kissing the corner of his mouth gently as he slowly picks up the pace of his thrusts. “Then fuck me hard, Jungkookie,” you demand, “fuck me full of your cum.”

Jungkook nods with a sniffle against your shoulder, fingers tightening against your skin as he slowly but surely begins nailing you into the mattress. He’s a good boy, always, because he does exactly what you tell him to. Uses those bulky muscles to hold you down, makes it impossible for you to move as he pistons his hips, cock sheathing itself inside your cunt. 

Every drag makes you unconsciously clench, the raw feeling consuming your thoughts. His cock is so big and wet today, certainly due to that stupid lube from beneath his cabinet. Your entire pussy feels like it’s on ecstasy, stupidly geeked up by that lube, and you’re sure Jungkook’s cock feels the same. It makes the glide so much better, so much easier, each ram of his cock feeling so easy. “Oh, fuck,” you whimper, nails digging down his spine. Jungkook is a sobbing, sniffling mess against the crook of your neck, absolute gibberish falling from his lips. 

But you’re no better, tongue seemingly set on a chaotic rampage to validate every single one of his fantasies. “Gonna fuck me while I’m pregnant?” you pant against his ear, fingers tugging at his hair. He doesn’t offer more than a strained cry, thrusts momentarily falling out of rhythm. “You would like that, huh? Fucking me when you’re not supposed to. You’re so bad, Kook-ah,”  you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Only pretend to be an angel but really you’re just a dirty, little pervert.” 

He wails loudly, slams his hips so hard into you that it makes you sob as well. “N-No,” he blubbers, tears against your skin. “I’m good— I’m a good boy,” he stresses, fingers bruising their prints into your skin. 

He presses so close, cock practically making your stomach bulge, but neither of you see. “Dirty angel,” you spit, yank his hair back roughly until he’s forced to look at you with that watery gaze. “So horny you’re willing to get me pregnant.”

Jungkook cries out, snaps his cock into you like he’s trying to break you in half. “No,” he heaves, tears dripping down his cheeks and onto yours. “I-I-I’d do it right,” he defends weakly, hips losing their demonic pace as his orgasm sneaks up on him. “Ma— Marry first… then, b— ba— bab—“

You swallow his words with your lips, kiss him like you’re on the verge of death in a desperate attempt to hide your tears from him. They paint your cheeks in stark strokes, trail down your skin and make everything blurry, but so does your orgasm. 

You come first, heart and body trembling at his unexpectedly sweet words, as you become a whimpering, teary mess beneath him. Jungkook follows, cries out your name one last time as he busts inside of you. 

Sticky and gross, he falls onto the pillow beside you. Poor baby is so tired, curls covering half of his face, but lips cutely puckered against the pillow. He’s sweaty as hell though, which you now vaguely remember was your original goal with all of this so you count this as a success. 

You think he’s fallen asleep, sitting up slowly and reaching for that t-shirt that bound him together earlier to clean up. He shudders when you run it against his skin, obviously still overwhelmed. You shift around the bed in search of today’s MVP. “Where’s the lube?” you mutter to yourself. 

Jungkook groans. “YouTube?” he asks, voice dry as all hell. 

“No, honey, the lube we used,” you respond, running your hands over the sheets for any signs of the pink bottle. 

“Want YouTube,” he mumbles, lets you swaddle him up in the blanket again. You roll your eyes and reach for the forgotten iPad that had long since tumbled to the floor. When it turns on, that same video from before is on pause so you don’t bother changing it as you hand it back to Jungkook. “Nice,” he murmurs, “underground water slide.”

You snort. “Weirdo.” He glares cutely, eyes barely open at this point. “Watch your YouTube.”

“Use your lube,” he sasses back softly, nonsensically, and then rather anticlimactically passes out. 

There’s something soft in your chest, something so big and overwhelming, that has you bending over his sleeping figure, mouth brushing against his. “Hurry and get better, angel,” you whisper, wish on it with all your heart. 

 To no one’s surprise, you get sick two days later. Doyeon laughs and laughs for hours about it, tells you that’s what you get for using sex as medicine. But Jungkook’s back to normal, which means he stays over and coddles you to death. 

“Hurry and get better,” he says, spoon feeding you your famous Get Better Soon Soup that you passed on to him. “I have a question to ask you.”

There’s a little black box in his downstairs bathroom cabinet that you swear you’ve never seen, but Jungkook knows you’re lying. 

It fits perfectly. 

epilogue

She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[amesstm]

haikyuu boys’ anonymous confessions

a/n: inspired by my coworkers telling me their dirty secrets. Not all are true ofc… hopefully. But think of this like we’re asking them a secret of theirs and they answer hehe

Hinata: Sometimes I really buff myself up in front of the mirror and act like I’m a volleyball star. Don’t laugh! It’s completely normal! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Kageyama: I’m actually lactose intolerant. People complain about the smells from the bathroom… and then I blame it on Hinata (*´-`)

Tsukkishima: I have that inflatable dinosaur costume. The best part is that no one can see my face so they don’t know it’s me. You better not tell anyone of this. -_-b

Yamaguchi: I’ve given individual names for each freckle on my face. They keep me company when Tsukki is being edgy again :(

Yachi: Hinata’s really cute. Kiyoko-san is gorgeous. If polyamory was acceptable, I’d have them both.

Daichi: I’ve gotten so many grey hairs from the first-years. Suga says that I should embrace them, but I use hair dye now.

Sugawara: If we didn’t have to wear uniforms, I would absolutely wear that hot pink outfit Lil Nas X wore. It would be fabulous on me. （＾Ｏ＾☆♪

Asahi: Even my parents’ have a shrine of me and not Jesus. It’s really embarrassing to explain to guests... especially on Christmas

Kiyoko: Tanaka is cute sometimes. Sometimes.

Ennoshita: this isn’t my secret, but I had to tell Nishinoya that 3+3 did not equal 8 if you just mashed them together...

Tanaka: I might’ve looked at some tentacle stuff…

Nishinoya: Sometimes I tell girls I have more centimeters than I really do

Atsumu: Haha, jokes on you! I’m not even a real blonde.

Osamu: I’m adopted. Jk. But I wish I was. (¬_¬)

Suna: I’ve sold off Atsumu and Osamu’s used water bottles before. You’d be surprised by how much they sell for

Kita: Everyone asks me about the secret behind my hair. I was just born with it

Aran: The only thing that makes Atsumu and Osamu’s fights somewhat amusing are imaginary punch sound effects from the 50s. It makes the fight more childish than it already was in the first place.

Ushijima: I didn’t know why so many people called me beefy until Tendo told me. He said that they thought I was a delicious piece of meat??? Now I’m concerned why there’s so many cannibals around me.

Tendo: I can tell anyone’s personality based on their favorite flavor of chocolate. Personally, I think that anyone who likes dark chocolate is quiet and reserved. Wakatoshi likes dark chocolate so there’s clearly a correlation.

Semi: Girls like Ushijima’s groans so much that I might use them for a soundtrack one day. Tendo’s Baki Baki song will be used for a song when I’m feeling angsty

Kuroo: I hate how everyone thinks that I’m a chemistry nerd. And I mean - I am, but if I were to murder someone with chemicals, it’d be way too obvious who it was.

Kozume: If there’s a way to make money off of both video games and my body, I would do it.

Yaku: Some people say that short people are closer to hell. That’s why I bully Lev. If I’m going there anyways, I’ll at least make the journey worthwhile. ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

Lev: Everything in Japan isn’t really suited for tall people. I’ve dropped my soap in the shower and accidentally hit my head against the shower head so many times that I might’ve sustained brain damage :/ Wait- don’t tell Yaku that!

Oikawa: I sell some of the baked goods that my fans give me. I can’t afford to lose this figure (^з^)-☆

Iwaizumi: I’ve seen Oikawa look at my arms too many times now. I might need to send him off to Argentina or something

Matsukawa: People only recognize me as the less-buff Iwaizumi. Kinda hurts

Sakusa: I had to teach myself not to shove people away when they hug me. I still shove Atsumu away, though

Terushima: I thought about getting a ring on my dick but then I didn’t have the balls to actually do it.

©amesstm on tumblr // pls do not plagiarize, steal, or repost my content w/o permission!! BUT likes & reblogs are highly appreciated :)

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Four)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 12k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?), jealous Tae (?), rough blowjob, hair pulling, slight degradation (like 1 line), swallowing, vaginal fingering, vaginal intercourse, coming on breasts lol, doggy style, coming on ass, crying, confrontation, drama and sadness lol

Notes: Okay, SO much happens in this chapter!! honestly this chapter is really the beginning! I hope you guys look forward to more:) remember to send me an ask or whatevs if you want to be added to the taglist! Or even if you just want to chat about the story!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los

© tastefully-in-luv

Previous ---Next ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your dress gets dragged past your hips and falls to the floor, pooling at your ankles. Your panties are next…it’s a black lacey thong and they are snug against your skin. They get dragged down leg by leg, thrown off to the side. Your skin feels hot and tingly…this bra needs off too. It unclasps from the front, freeing your breasts…they bounce as they’re released, you groan in satisfaction. You’re left completely naked and… wait, this sounds oddly sexual, doesn’t it? Yeah, you’re not getting any, sorry. You’re just trying on different clothes.

Taehyung is taking you to a party tonight and you want to look your best, you want to choose everything carefully. From your bra, to your panties to which dress you wear. You have this dress you’ve been saving but it might be too sexy…it’s black and sleek and falls off the shoulders. You might just wear it though…you’re wanting to give Taehyung some steamy thoughts tonight, even if they’re just in his head. A win is a win, right?

You choose another thong, so there’s no panty lines and a strapless bra. You slip the black dress on and it falls deliciously over your curves. You hum in approval as you eye yourself over in the mirror.

“Lookin’ good babe.” You whisper to yourself, nodding your head with a grin.

Jin is hosting a little party at his place tonight, you know when they say ‘little’ it’s more than you know, a little.So you’re looking your best. Taehyung is wearing dark dress pants and a button up shirt so you know it’s going to be at least a little nice, so you are putting some effort.

Speak of the devil, he’s waiting for you in the living room so you need to hurry.

You slide on your heels, grab your phone and your purse and make your way out your room. You see Taehyung leaning against the couch on his phone when you clear your throat to announce your presence.

“Woah.”

But it’s not coming from Taehyung, no. Coming from your side exiting his own bedroom is Jungkook.

He awkwardly clears his own throat and coughs into his fist. “Uh, you look nice.”

You snap your head to the side to get a look at the man, he’s dressed in his dark jeans with a dark button up shirt tucked into his pants…his hair is wild and he looks…breathtaking.

“What are you doing?” you eye him up and down suspiciously.

“Uh. Taehyung said I could ride with you guys…”

Taehyung slips his phone into his pocket and walks over to you guys,

“Yeah, I thought since we are all going to the same place…also, wow. y/n…you look…” Taehyung gestures towards your body and brings his hand to his mouth, “Just incredible.”

You blush at his compliment, your plan already working. Hehe.

“Thanks Tae.”

“I mean, I complimented you too but aight.”

You hit Jungkook’s shoulder and roll your eyes, “Thanks JK.”

Taehyung looks between you two and smiles softly, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs out.

“Should we get going?”

~~~

Usually during car rides Taehyung holds your hand but tonight he’s holding back, you can tell. Jungkook seems to be in a good mood though, he’s talking up a storm in the backseat, going on and on about how he reached a new goal at the gym. He even playfully flexes his muscles, making Taehyung chuckle from beside you. Jungkook leans forward until he’s in the middle of the console between your seat and Taehyungs seat, showing his phone to the both of you at some meme he found.

“y/n, y/n. LOOK.” Jungkook is shoving the phone in your face. “It’s our favorite meme!”

You take his phone from him, setting it down in your lap, “Before I look…is it The PeePee PooPoo Man?” you stifle a laugh.

Jungkook is already cracking the fuck up, “Damn, I can’t even look at it…”

“Me either…I’ll explode.” You start laughing already, the thought of the meme already killing you.

“What? I wanna see!” Taehyung whines.

You and Jungkook are already laughing your asses off, just thinking of the meme and thinking of Taehyungs reaction. When he gets to a stop light, you hesitantly hand him the phone while you cover your mouth.

“Okay…” Taehyung takes the phone.

“Read it out loud!” Jungkook practically yells, his excitement incredibly evident.

“Yeah, read it out loud!” you and Jungkook look at each other and start laughing again,

“Okay…” Taehyung looks at the meme and starts reading, “Say his name…you won’t be laughing when he kills you…” he scrolls down, “The PeePee PooPoo Man…..”

You and Jungkook DIE. Your laughter filling the car so loudly that Taehyung winces and covers his ears.

“Please tell me this isn’t really your guys’ favorite meme….” Taehyung chuckles awkwardly.

“What do you mean? OF COURSE it is!” You say, trying not to cry.

“Shit, I can’t…I can’t.” Jungkook has his hand on your shoulder. The two of you start to relax, your laughter finally dying down.

“I mean, really? PeePee PooPoo Man?” Taehyung just doesn’t get it. You guys really think this is funny?

You start cackling again at the mention of the name,

“Oh my god, stop. Don’t say his name.” You look at Jungkook who is already looking at you with a wide grin, his own eyes watering from laughing so hard.

“You guys are something else…” Taehyung drives through the green light, his eyes watching the two of you. He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

~~~~

“Friends!” Jin opens his arms wide as if inviting all 3 of you in for a hug, “Welcome to my humble abode!”

“Yes, yes. Very humble.” Jungkook takes the invitation and quickly hugs his friend.

“Taehyung, y/n. Don’t be shy, come come.” He gestures towards his body.

The two of you laugh and embrace your friend, Jungkook stands off to the side looking all around the place.

“Small get together my ass.” Jungkook huffs.

The house is packed with people, lots of faces you don’t recognize but a few faces you do.

“JIMIN!!! TRINA!!!” You leave the boys sides to meet your friends.

“Hello beautiful.” Trina pulls you in for a hug, her laugh ringing in your ears. Jimin embraces you next, his arms wrapping lovingly around your body.

“What’s up sexy.” Jimin winks as he pulls back. Jimin looks gorgeous as usual, his hair pushed back so the world can see that beautiful god damn forehead.

Jungkook and Taehyung jog up to you guys, greeting your friends one by one. “Trina.” Jungkook nods in her direction.

“Jeon.” She nods back. “And hello Taehyung.” She links arms with the boy, “have you been treating our y/n well?”

Taehyung makes awkward eye contact with Jimin, panic written all over his face.

“Yeah Tae Tae,” Jimin says smoothly, his eyes narrowing. “How have you been treating our y/n?”

“Jimin can I talk to you?” Jungkook cuts in.

“I don’t give a shit about our promises from 3 fucking years ago. Get over it.” Jimin spits out, “y/n is my friend. I’m telling her.”

“Wait, Taehyung says he’s going to tell her.” Jungkook rushes to say, he’s got his hands on Jimin’s shoulders but Jimin shoves him off.

“I’m disappointed in you Jungkook. You’re keeping this from her all because you’re scared she’s going to find out about that stupid new years eve party. That was 3 fucking years ago dude, get over it.” Then Jimin quirks a brow, “Unless…you’re not over it? Not over h—”

“Shut up dude, it’s not fucking like that.” Jungkook tries defending.

“One week. That’s all he has before I tell her myself. You fucking idiots.”

“Hey, is everything okay?” You walk between the boys, your hands on both of their shoulders, “things looked heated for a second…” you say awkwardly, “are you guys okay?”

Jungkook gives Jimin a look that you decide you can’t decipher. Jimin rolls his eyes and releases a long breath before turning to face you.

“Everything’s fine, babe.” Jimin gives you a small smile and turns around heading towards your friends, “Trina!” he calls out, “Let’s get fucking drunk!”

You face Jungkook, “Is he alright?” you can’t help but feel concerned, Jimin is acting really strange. Jungkook stares into your eyes for a while, nibbling on his lips deciding what to say.

“He said everything’s fine, didn’t he?” His hand reaches forward to rub your arm, his way of comforting you. Taehyung watches the two of you from the corner of his eye.

“Should we get fucking drunk too?” you tease, trying to lighten the mood.

“You know it, baby.”

~~~~

Once inside, you find Taehyung’s side. His long arm wraps around your waist and pulls you in close to his frame. You two find the kitchen to fetch some drinks, Jungkook follows closely behind you two.

“How about we start the night taking some shots?” You hear Jungkook suggest from your side.

“I like your thinking Mr.Jeon.” your playful tone makes him smile.

“You know I like being called that,” he winks. Taehyung’s grip tightens around your waist and you remember you’re in his embrace.

“Um, what do you think Tae?”

“Sure. Sounds good.” He says quietly, almost detached.

The 3 of you take shot after shot, Taehyungs hand never leaves your body. He keeps you steady as the world becomes just a bit more hazy. You drunkenly laugh into his chest anytime anyone says anything remotely funny. Taehyung enjoys that you’re leaning on him, that you are feeling comfortable.

He watches as you soak in the world in front of you, your wide eyes observing your surroundings. He laughs when you stumble forward every now and then but he always catches you. He kisses your head every few minutes to remind you that he’s here and he has you.

You feel like you’re floating, the alcohol running through your veins and causing the world to be so much more fucking awesome, hell yeah.

You scan the crowd and see a bunch of people dancing and you decide you want to dance too! You take Taehyung’s hand and move your head around looking for Jungkook, but you don’t see him.

“He went his own way a little while ago,” Taehyung reminds you, as if reading your mind.

“Oh.” You don’t mean to sound so disappointed, but you do. You fucking do.

You turn to face Taehyung and smile brightly anyway, “Let’s go dance!”

The music is so loud it’s all your body can register. Every note swims through your ears and every thump of the bass makes you move. Your arms are wrapped loosely around Taehyungs neck, your bodies swaying to the beat of the music. You’re having so much fun until you see it. A few feet in front of you, you see his tattooed hands on some random girls ass. You shouldn’t be feeling the drop in your stomach but you do. You fucking do.

Your eyes trail up his arms until you meet his eyes when you see he’s already staring at you. His dark gaze makes you fucking shudder, you hate that can he do this to you. Even after all this time.

You watch him carefully as you inch closer to Taehyung, you grab a hold of him more tightly. Taehyung grunts when he feels you grind your hips into his. Jungkook watches you as you dance with Taehyung, his gaze somehow becoming more and more dangerous. He leans down into the girls neck and begins sucking bruises, his eyes never leaving yours. He kisses her and she throws her head back, you can see her smile in approval of his attention. He fucking smirks when you roll your eyes. Two can play that game. Taehyung watches you watching him but you don’t notice. But you wish you did. You pull Taehyungs face down to meet you for a kiss, your lips moving against his hotly, though your eyes remain on Jungkook the entire time. Jungkook just glares at you, turning the girl around so she can grind her ass into his crotch.

You sway your hips into Taehyung, his hands go to hold your hips moving them to the beat of the song. He groans when he feels your ass backing into him, he feels himself getting hard at the contact. You feel it too. You break eye contact with Jungkook to look up at Taehyung, his dick catching your attention.

“Oh don’t mind me.” Taehyung throws his hands up, whispering bitterly.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.”

And Taehyung is slipping away, disappearing in the crowd. You watch as he fades from your drunken vision.

You stand there feeling completely abandoned and puzzled when you feel a hand on your arm. You turn your head to see Jungkook standing there, breathless.

“Can we talk? Are we…okay?” He looks strange. Confused even.

“No, I gotta find Tae.” You say, “Plus, you’re busy, aren’t you?” you point your head in the direction of the girl.

“Does that bother you?” Jungkook whispers somewhat defeated, “Because I think…” he shakes his head, “No, I’m drunk.”

“We’re all drunk, Jungkook.” You release his hold on you, “I gotta find Tae.”

Jungkook feels…like he recalls this feeling. He doesn’t want you to go and find Tae. He wants you to stay with him. He recalls these familiar feelings and internally deflates, he doesn’t want to feel this. Not again.

You weave through the crowd until you make your way into the kitchen, you scan the area but see no Taehyung. Frustrated, you smooth down your tangled hair and take a minute to think. Where did he go? Where could he have gone? This house is huge! You recall just trying to find the bathroom that one time. You decide to try the backyard, you walk out the door and notice only a few people occupying the place. But still no Taehyung.

You head back inside the house and try out each random door. Well, he’s definitely not in the kitchens pantry. Damn, you’re drunk. You head down the hall and try out those rooms, your fingers slide against the wall as you walk. The first room is empty, the second room has a small group of people playing some game, the third room—you definitely interrupted something sexy going on. And finally, the fourth room has one Kim Taehyung. He’s sitting quietly on the edge of a bed, he doesn’t even look up to see who entered the room.

“Tae…” you walk inside, closing the door behind you. It softly clicks and you walk towards him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask but obviously you know what’s wrong, but your dumb ass has to make sure.

Taehyung stares down at his hands, his fingers playing with the sleeve of his shirt. He doesn’t look up at you when he breathes out through his nose.

“What’s wrong? Seriously? My girlfriend was dancing with me but playing some fucking eye fuck game with another guy.” He slurs.

Well, you knew. But it still stings to hear. Also, he must be really drunk if he called you his girlfriend and didn’t correct himself.

“I wasn’t…we weren’t…”

“When will you two just…” Taehyung stops to breathe, collecting his thoughts. “Fuck, I think I…no, I just…” he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, “I’m so confused.” He admits.

“About what?” you go to sit next to him, you leave a few inches of space between you. But still close enough for him to exhale deeply and lay his head on your shoulder.

“About you.” He says so quietly you don’t really hear.

“I meant what I said earlier.” Taehyung changes the subject. “You look so incredible tonight.” His hand falls to your knee, he starts rubbing it soothingly. You know this would feel nice sober but it feels indescribable drunk. His touch is soft and light that you fall into a trance.

“You think so?” you breathe out pathetically.

Taehyung lifts his head and turns to face you, “I’ve thought about kissing you all night.” He admits softly, “Then you really…” he glances down at his crotch, “Gave me quite the problem.” He drunkenly pouts. “Because you’re so beautiful.”

You can’t help but giggle, “I can take care of that if you want.” You offer, your tone light and teasing yet powerfully seductive.

“Really need to kiss you first.” He breathes out heavily, his cock twitching in his pants.

You lean forward and peck his lips, you lean back and smile but then Taehyung surges forward and plants his lips on yours in a rushed and heated kiss. His lips move against yours quickly, his tongue finding its way in your mouth. You moan out loud, the sound going directly to his growing length. Your hands explore the front of his body, they travel from his hair to his chest to his stomach…all the way until you feel his cock through his pants. He groans loudly when you cup him.

“Are you gonna tease me, sweetheart?” he leans back on his forearms. “Because I wouldn’t mind that.” He smiles slyly.

“I have thought about this a million times, I don’t think there’s any time to waste quite honestly.” Wow, you are drunk because you just admitted that.

“Is it really me you think about?” he whispers under his breath, his eyes narrowing as he looks up at you.

“What? “Nothing, show me what you think about.”

“Have you ever thought about me? If so, I want you to show me.”

Taehyung stands to his feet, “Oh sweetheart,” he begins unbuckling his pants, “I can show you…if that’s what you want.” You nod your head and he smirks.

“Get on your knees for me.”

You do as Taehyung says, you fall to your knees in front of him and look up at him expectantly.

“So fucking pretty.” He lowers his pants down to his knees along with his boxers, his cock springs free, bouncing against his lower stomach. Your mouth fucking waters. His dick is gorgeous but like it’s Kim Taehyung…of course, he has a beautiful dick. It’s long, and thick and golden and you want your lips wrapped around it right fucking now.

“This is okay, right?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Then open that pretty mouth of yours for me, sweetheart.”

But he doesn’t give you time to think because he’s pulling your head back and shoving his cock between your pretty, pouting lips.

You silently gag around him, and you can hear the string of explicates push past his plump lips. He sounds so fucking hot. His grip on your hair only tightens as he begins to shallowly thrust past your lips. He loves how you seem to swallow him whole, looking so beautiful as he fucks your mouth just waiting to fill it with his cum.

Pulling out all the way, he roughly fucks his cock back where it belongs, taking you by surprise causing you to choke. You absolutely love letting him have his way with you, so you moan loudly letting the vibrations stimulate his cock even further.

“You like it when I pull your hair that hard? You like it when I make you feel that’s all you’re good for?” He grits between his teeth. He looks down at you, and you look up into his dark, piercing gaze and mutter words of mercy.

“Taking my cock so good, aren’t you sweetheart?”

“Yes Tae” you say almost inaudibly, tears pricking your eyes and falling in streams as you hollow your cheeks around his thick length. Your chest pounding as you close your eyes, allowing him to go to town on you. His grip weakens and his dick twitches in your mouth, spilling his hot seed down your throat.

“Fuck,” he curses, rubbing your cheeks tenderly. “You made me cum so fast, what a fucking good girl, my sweetheart.” He says, continuing his caress your cheek. You feel your panties become so unbelievably wet, drenched if you will. God damn.

“You let me fuck this mouth…will you also let me fuck this pussy?” his fingers on your chin guides your face to look up at him.

“Please.” God, you’re so needy its pathetic, but its god damn Kim Taehyung.

“First I gotta stretch you out, sweetheart.” He motions for you to lay on the bed, “Take off your clothes for me.”

You do as he says, you crawl on to the bed and slip your dress off, then your bra and you’re about to drag your panties down when he stops you.

“Wait…leave those on.” His dark gaze commands you.

Taehyung takes off the rest of his clothes and makes his way to the bed, crawling over you. Your breath catches in your throat, you feel like everything’s stopped.

His hand lightly drags down your stomach until his hand is hovering where you want him most.

Without warning, he moves your panties to the side and his fingers slide into your sopping, desperate cunt, curling them just right to brush against that spot in you that make your toes curl.

His long fingers slides in and out of you, the sound of your wet pussy and your loud moans filling the room.

“More. More.” you plead.

“What is it that you want?” he says still working his fingers inside of you.

You just moan loudly in response.

Taehyung clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes, “Sweetheart…” he begs.

“You. You. I want you!”

“Fuck yes.” He grits, his hand on his cock already. “Gonna fuck you now, okay?”

“Yes!”

He’s sitting on his hunches as he lines his cock up to your wet pussy. He slowly drags it up from your hole all the way up to your swollen clit, he then rubs circles over your clit with this cock, you both moan at the feeling.

He drags it back down and lines it up with your entrance, taking your legs and hanging them over his shoulders. He finally begins pushing into you with one slow drag of his cock, and as he bottoms out, you whimper his name repeatedly. He is stretching you out deliciously. He stays completely still for a moment before he starts moving his hips dangerously slow, you go to moan out his name but no sound comes out. The feeling of his dick brushing inside you leaving you speechless.

Your mind goes blank for a second, then suddenly images of Jungkook cross your mind. You think about him with that other girl, you think about him fucking her, you think about him coming inside her. You try so hard to speak but the way Taehyung rolls his hips into yours over and over lets out only loud, pleading moans. Only the sound of your whimpers and his heavy breathing fill the room.

Dropping one of your legs, Taehyung moves his hand to the soft skin of your stomach, his touch is electric.

“So close Ju-Tae…”

“Where should I come?” he asks, breathless as he continues to fuck into you.

“My tits.”

Taehyung smirks as he thrusts harder and faster until you’re coming undone on his cock, your loud moans giving away your orgasm. Jungkook’s face filling your mind again as you come…only making you come harder. Taehyung pulls out and shoots his cum all over your chest, he smiles down at you as he enjoys the view.

Taehyung falls forward, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss.

“That was amazing y/n. You’re so good to me, sweetheart.” He kisses you again.

You look up at the ceiling, the soreness already announcing its arrival between your legs. Your orgasm is kind of sobering you up. Did you just fuck Taehyung? You kind of laugh, a bit confused. It was fun and all…wait, why are you beginning to over think? It’s just…you just had his cock filling you up yet you lay here with his arm draped around you and you feel…empty.

How did things escalate this much? But this is what you wanted, isn’t it? God, why are you being such a baby! You just fucked THE Kim Taehyung and you’re wondering why you feel disappointed…congratulations y/n, you’re the world’s most ungrateful bitch.

But then your sober thoughts come in once again, reminding you of what set you over the edge. No, you don’t want to remember.

Taehyung is already snoozing beside you, his arm loosely thrown over your body. You look down at him and feel guilt bubbling in your chest. What have you done? What are you doing?

Wait—did he really fall asleep while his cum dries on your tiddies?

~~~

The next few days you spend in and out of Taehyungs apartment, he invites you over for dinner, to watch TV, to paint—for sex. Basically, any and everything.

The sex is…good—really good, actually. He treats you super well, still the gentleman and makes you feel incredible.

You want to feel incredible. You should feel incredible. Isn’t this incredible?

But still, something makes you ache. The ache is beginning to consume you. You want it to go, to disappear to leave you forever because you should be feeling incredible. But then your mind goes back to the same damn thing—

Brrr Brrr

You are lying on your bed with a sour punch straw hanging out your mouth when your phone buzzes. You ignore it, trying to focus on your thoughts again but then you hear it go off again. You roll over on your stomach and pick up your phone, unlocking it to read your texts.

Taehyung 8:14pm

Hello beautiful!

Taehyung 8:15pm

Wanna come over for a movie? I miss your pretty face.

You read the texts to yourself over and over, nibbling on your lips like the action will somehow help you. You…this is what you wanted, right?

y/n 8:18pm

You miss me already? You just saw me :p but sure I’ll be over in 30.

You sit up in bed, the straw still dangling from your lips and you begin chewing…the straw disappearing centimeter by centimeter. The sour flavor making you scrunch up your face but you take it.

You sit there and wonder if you even really want to go…but you know you should. So, you get up and get dressed into something a little more presentable and exit your bedroom.

Jungkook is in the kitchen making something to eat when you walk out, he’s got his back to you and doesn’t notice your presence.

“Boo!” you yell out, jumping towards him and hugging his waist from behind.

Jungkook doesn’t even flinch, he just chuckles softly and slowly turns in your embrace.

“What do you think you’re doing miss not so sneaky?” his eyes narrow as he takes in your appearance.

“Wait—are you going somewhere? I…I thought we could watch Howl’s Moving Castle tonight?” he loosens your grip on him and lowers your arms down to your side.

“Oh…” you say awkwardly. “I already told Tae I would go over there for a movie…”

Jungkook blows air through his nose, and rolls his eyes to the side, “Again? Weren’t you just there?”

“It’s normal to hang out with your…friends.” Friends? You and Taehyung are friends or are you more than friends? Or? What is going on?

“Can’t you just cancel on him and hang out with me, your best friend?” he crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back on the counter.

“Jungkook…”

“Fine, fine. Have fun.” He turns back around to continue making whatever it is he is making,

Since spending so much time with Taehyung the last few days, Jungkook hasn’t been getting the attention he’s used to. You decide to step forward and hug him from behind again and nuzzle your face into his back.

“Love you.” You whisper into his shirt, the scent making you feel cozy.

“I…” he clears his throat. “Yeah, me too.”

~~~~~

Taehyung collapses on top of you, hugging you from behind, out of breath and sweat sticking to his skin. His thrusts are quick and shallow as he fucks into you, your face buried in the cushion of his living rooms couch.

“Fuck, I’m about to blow, sweetheart.” His hips grind into you and you moan out from the feeling.

“Gonna come all over this pretty ass, that okay?” he grits out.

“Yes. Yes.”

Taehyung quickly pulls out, grunting your name, and comes down your lower back and ass, his hand grips his cock tightly as he shoots his load. You feel the warm, sticky goo dribble down your cheeks and you cringe.

You lay there breathless, even though you didn’t come yourself, but the fuck was still good—so you say to yourself.

“Please get me a towel.”

Taehyung is quick to roll off you and grab his t shirt and wipe your skin clean. “Better?”

“Yeah…”

Taehyung sits back down on the couch, a wide grin on his face when realization hits him… “Oh my god, you didn’t come. I can…I can eat you out.”

“No it’s okay, really.” You assure him. The mood is long gone.

“This just keeps getting better.” Taehyung pulls you to his side, he smiles into your neck as you steady your breaths.

“What does?” your hand goes into his hair and you begin massaging his scalp—you know he likes that. Unlike Jungkook, he doesn’t like his hair being pulled. Ugh… Why did you have to think that?

“God, just everything.” Taehyung pulls back and smiles at you and you try to return it whole heartily but you fall short.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asks.

“Everything’s fine,” you lie. “Just noticing the time and I think I should head out soon.”

Taehyung pushes his head back, a confused smile makes its way on his face.

“It’s barely 11?”

“It’s just…Jungkook wanted to watch a movie tonight too…you know his horrible sleeping habits so no doubt he’s going to be up for a while, “ you begin. “so I thought…I could still make it to watch it with him.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything for a while, he only stares at you with hard eyes. He leans back on to the couch and exhales deeply.

“Have you been thinking about this the whole time? About him? Even while…” he shakes his head. “Sorry.”

“Sorry about what?”

“y/n I think…we really need to ta—”

“No!” you cut in, you feel anxiety stir within you.

“I mean, I just mean, we can talk tomorrow? You wanted to meet for brunch right? We can talk then. For now…” you lean over and pick up your shirt and throw it on. “I’m gonna head home.”

Taehyung bows his head down, his hands running through his hair as he mutters something to himself.

“What’s that?” you ask while standing to find your shorts.

“Nothing…” he lifts his head, “Actually…y/n.”

“What is it?” you laugh awkwardly, buttoning up your shorts.

“You and Jungkook…” he stands up too, “When will you two just…”

“I’m gonna go Tae.” Your guilty smile making you feel sick, but it doesn’t stop you from walking towards him and kissing his lips.

“y/n I think I like y—”

“Tomorrow?” you smile sweetly as the ache you have been feeling only grows larger and larger.

“Yeah…” Taehyung smiles back, “Tomorrow.”

~~~~~~

y/n 11:08pm

You still up?

Jungkook 11:09pm

Yeah, whats up?

y/n 11:09pm

you still up for that movie?

Jungkook 11:09pm

You coming home already? But yeah sure:)

y/n 11:10pm

yeah I’m about to head that way

Jungkook 11:11pm

Ok don’t text and drive

y/n 11:11pm

hey its 1111 make a wish

Jungkook 11:11pm

Really? What are you, 12?

You chuckle to yourself as you sit in the driver’s seat of your car, you exit your messages and open up your music app to play one of your playlists.

You put the car in reverse and exit Taehyung apartment complex parking lot, it’s kind of cramped and you’re having to put the car in drive and reverse too many times for your liking…making you feel fucking frustrated.

Your mind goes to tonight…you hate this feeling. You just want to go home. Home where its warm and safe and no one is trying to have a serious talk with you.

You’re avoiding it. You have been for a while…you’re not stupid. Taehyung…no, you don’t want to think about it.

The drive home is relaxing for you…there’s barely anyone else out and your music is at the right volume. Just loud enough that you can’t hear yourself think. Perfect.

You enter your apartment, and are welcomed with a dark, quiet place. Where’s Jungkook?

You take your phone out and shoot him a text asking where he is but several minutes pass and he doesn’t reply. Where did he go? He didn’t…cancel on you, right? He isn’t with some girl right now, right?

Anxiety stirs within you once again, the thought of Jungkook elsewhere making breathing harder. You just wanted to come home but somehow this empty apartment feels like the farthest thing from home. The blue glow of the TV making you feel like you’re in an odd, far off place. You pull your legs up on the couch and hug them close to you, you suddenly feel so lonely. So fucking lonely.

Your face contorts, and before you know it you are trying not to cry. The last few days are catching up to you and you feel like a mess. Why can’t things feel fucking incredible? Your lip quivers and you struggle to breathe in and out like a normal human being.

“Why are you sitting in the dark, weirdo?”

You didn’t notice the sound of the front door opening and the light being turned on.

Your head snaps to the side to see Jungkook at the front entrance with a bag in his hand, he looks at you with a toothy grin until he realizes you’re crying.

“Woah woah,” he rushes to set the bag down and heads your way, he makes it to the sofa and sits down next to you and is quick to pull you to his chest, his arms wrapping around you.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he whispers into your hair. “Are you okay?” He pulls back to get a look at your face, you start sniffling harder.

“Did Taehyung do something?” then Jungkook begins to panic, “Fuck, he did, right? I knew it…I’m gonna beat his fucking ass.” Jungkook lets go of you and begins to stand up when you desperately pull him back down.

“No…” you cry out quietly, “It’s your fault, dummy.”

Jungkook tilts his head innocently, “My fault?” he says, pointing to himself.

“I thought you bailed on me…” you sniff.

Jungkook breathes out and laughs softly, “I was…I went to the store to buy some beer for us.” He gestures towards the bag on the ground.

“Why didn’t you just call me?” he asks.

“I texted…but you didn’t answer.”

“Then you should have called,” His fingers brush across your cheek.

“I thought maybe you could have been with…someone…I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Jungkook looks at you incredulously, his brows pinched together so tightly.

“You think I would do something like that?” he pulls you in again, “I would never do that. I wouldn’t leave you like that.”

“You wouldn’t ever leave me in general would you?”

“Never, baby.” He kisses the top of your head and you nuzzle yourself into his chest.

Home. Your apartment finally feels like home again.

You and Jungkook are a few beers in and watching one of your favorite movies, he looks over at you every once in a while to make sure you’re okay. You smile softly towards him and he smiles back…this goes on for the entire movie. Near the end, you have the urge to be closer to Jungkook so you grab his hand and interlock your fingers. He doesn’t look at you as he weaves his fingers through yours and holds your hand tightly.

“You like holding hands, huh?” you say, slight tease in your voice.

Jungkook goes stiff, a memory sucking him in. Fucking great.

“You like holding hands, huh?” you tease as Jungkook lifts your joined hands above your head.

“Love feeling closer to you.” Jungkook leans down and plants wet kisses down the expanse of your throat, you moan as you feel his lips devouring you.

Jungkook continues to kiss and kiss until his lips meet your collarbone, until his lips drag down to your breasts, until his lips are kissing at your stomach, until his lips are where you want him most. He continues to hold your hands, lowering them to your sides.

“Love feeling closer.”

“It’s pretty late…2 in the morning…sheesh.” Jungkook untangles your fingers, “Goodnight, y/n.” he leans over and kisses the top of your head before standing from the sofa and walking towards his room for the night.

“Night Jungkook…” you whisper, feeling the emptiness dig its hole within you again.

~~~~~

You can’t really describe this hole in your chest that you feel. It leaves you empty and in pain. It leaves you wondering why and how and when this all started…

You’re meeting Taehyung for brunch at the café, you’re seated in a booth across from him and he looks quite chipper. You watch as he eyes the menu and you watch as his lips curve upward into a warm smile when he speaks to you. You watch his lips as he talks, you watch his hands as the gesture around the place, you watch—

“y/n? y/n?”

“Oh. Yeah?”

“You’re not getting pancakes?” Taehyung pouts, setting down his menu.

You chuckle softly, “Why does it matter?”

“I thought you would get one flavor and I would get another and we could like, share.” He says almost childlike.

You nibble on your lip, it wasn’t a bad idea actually.

“Fine.” You smile, “I’ll get blueberry.”

“And I’ll get chocolate.” He grins at you with all his teeth. The two of you wait for your server to arrive but she is nowhere to be found so Taehyung stands from the booth and says he is going to fetch her. You nod your head and watch him walk past a corner. You pull out of your phone and begin scrolling through twitter when a feminine voice cuts in,

“y/n, right?”

You look up from your phone to see a familiar face. Long brown hair, big bright eyes, full pouting lips. Long legs, the works. Anna.

“Um, yes?” you bite your lip, feeling anxious all the sudden. Why is Taehyung’s stalker talking to you?

“If you’re…” you try to come off more confident. “Looking for Taehyung, you should just forget about it.”

Anna looks taken aback before she’s smirking down at you, “And why is that?”

“He’s not interested Anna, you need to like, move on.”

“Oh? It’s me who needs to move on?” she laughs light heartedly. “Listen, y/n. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me but it sounds like you have it all wrong.” She taps her manicured fingers on the table.

“I don’t think so Anna.” You stand up so you’re at eye level with her, “He—”

“Tell Taehyung it’s starting to work though. I am starting to regret it.” She says, her voice so smooth. “Oh.” Her bright eyes widen, “Or I could tell him myself.” She says, looking behind you.

You turn around to see Taehyung approaching the table, his face as white as a ghost.

“A-Anna? What are you doing here?” his voice filled with panic, you’ve never seen Taehyung look so freaked out before.

“Just telling your little girlfriend I miss you.”

Taehyung visibly frowns at Anna’s words. Like they hold depth for him. What the hell is going on? What’s starting to work? What is she regretting? Your head snaps to face Taehyung,

“Taehyung, what’s happening?”

“Yeah, Taehyungie, what’s happening?” Anna copies with a coy smile.

Taehyung looks between the two of you, panic written all over his face. Anna’s hand softly clutches onto Taehyungs forearm and he very clearly relaxes at her touch, making you feel even more confused.

“Do you know her? Like know her know her?” you finally ask.

“Does he know me?” Anna lightly chuckles, a hand coming to cover her mouth, “Do you know me Tae?” she continues to giggle. Then her large eyes meet yours, “It looks like you’re the one who doesn’t know him.” then she’s looking at Taehyung again, “I’ll be waiting for your call.” And she steps to the side, smiles at you and walks away. You watch as she disappears through the door of the restaurant and your eyes never leave the door. Your mind trying to process what just happened.

“Y/n, I can explain.” You finally hear Taehyung speak up. His hand reaches for yours but you yank it back.

“Don’t touch me. Just talk.” You demand, sitting back down in the booth.

Taehyung sits across from you and exhales a long breath.

“Anna is my ex-girlfriend.” He lets out. Pausing, waiting for a reaction from you but it never comes. He continues,

“I might of not been completely honest—”

“No shit.” You cut in, “But please,” you gesture your hand for him to go on.

“She left me for another guy…” Taehyung doesn’t expect you to feel sorry for him, he folds his hands in his lap and he thinks about what to say next.

“I just…wanted her to feel what I felt. Like I moved on, I wanted her to want me back.”

“Because you want her back…” you finish for him. Your eyes darting all around the café. “You lied to me…” then you look at him, “Why me? Why did you ask me?

Taehyung looks down at his hands, “I knew you liked me, so I thought you would agree to it.” He admits.

You breathe out a long breath, your eyes beginning to gloss over,

“You knew I…? So all of this was truly just fake?”

Taehyung shakes his head frantically, “No. No. Well, maybe in the beginning.” He admits, his voice starting to crack. “Anna—“

“And how didn’t I know you had a girlfriend?”

“Listen, please just listen. Anna and I were dating, yes. But she wanted to keep quiet about it…” he notices you quirk a brow, “She had her reasons.” He defends. “but then she came to me, telling me all this shit about how she met someone else and I…I panicked.” He looks down at the table, his voice wavering.

“Am I supposed to feel bad for you?” you point out, “You fucking used me.”

“I know, I know.” Taehyung chokes on his words, “And I feel awful about it,”

“How awful Taehyung? You fucked me.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, he shakes his head again. “Please let me continue….I…I am really confused right now. I thought I wanted Anna back but you…you make me feel…but…”

“But what?” you cross your arms over your chest, you raise your head, trying your best not to fucking cry.

“I’m just so confused.” He says again.

“You used me.” You whisper, your tears finally fleeing from your eyes.

“Yes…but I think you used me too.”

Excuse you? The fucking audacity this fucker has!

“Used you? Please tell me how I used you!”

Taehyung meets your eyes, they’re soft and warm. “Please don’t play dumb,” he says.

“Aren’t I just your little distraction from Jung—"

“Stop.” Your eyes grow twice their size, you push your shoulders all the way up to your ears. You’re fuming. “I don’t know what you think you—”

“y/n.”

He looks at you softly, you stare into his eyes and your lip begins to quiver. What does Taehyung think he knows? What does Taehyung know that you’re too afraid to say out loud yourself? Your eyes refill with tears and he reaches for your hand across the table, this time you don’t pull back.

“It’s okay y/n, I know.” He says so gently it feels like someone’s hugging you.

You stare at him in disbelief while the tears begin to fall. Fuck. Years of pent up emotions finally break free, you quietly sob like a baby in the booth of the café. His hand never leaves yours.

You cry like this for several minutes, letting years of unrequited feelings get washed away. Taehyung eventually moves to your side of the booth and holds you, you cry pathetically into his chest. Why couldn’t this work? You made a wish in the bubble bath and everything…why couldn’t you get your way? You sacrificed so much…you put Jungkook’s friendship on the line for this…why?

“How did you figure it out?” your shy tone makes Taehyung smile fondly towards you.

“You’re pretty obvious. I always thought you guys had a thing going to be honest…but he always denied it.”

You feel your stomach drop, it’s not like you’re surprised that Jungkook would deny something like this but for some reason it still hurts.

“Makes sense.” You sniffle into your elbow. “We aren’t like that.”

Taehyung looks at you with so much fucking pity it kills you.

“y/n…he could feel the same way…”

“He doesn’t.” you rush to say, “Trust me.”

Taehyung looks down at his hands, he feels more guilt surface. He’s kept so much from you…now he’s keeping another secret.

“Don’t give up.” He smiles towards you, “I hope that with time you can be my friend again…I understand if you want some space.”

“Wait.” You feel anger begin to bubble over, “Jungkook…he fucking knew about you, didn’t he?” you ball your hands into fists. “He didn’t fucking tell me?” you turn your head to face Taehyung, your eyes filling with tears once again. Your best friend didn’t tell you about this?

“Wait wait y/n. That’s my fault not his, I swear. A few years ago I told him and Jimin about Anna and they had to swear not to say anything and they told me stuff in return…so the 3 of us swore to each other…” he begins losing his train of thought, “It’s just…it’s not his fault.”

“Jimin…too?” Your brows pinch together, you feel so fucking betrayed. You feel like an idiot.

“Jimin only just found out and he only didn’t tell you because Jungkook said he was going to tell him that I planned on telling you…”

“Were you going—”

“Yes!” Taehyung exclaims loudly, the people in the next booth over look over. “I promise, I just—I needed to figure out how. But then my feelings got so confusing and we slept together and I thought I could pretend…”

“Okay okay…” you pat his back, “I believe you.” And you do. You recall every moment he was going to tell you but you stopped him…because deep down you knew this was all too good to be true.

“y/n please forgive me.” He chokes up, “I really don’t want to lose you.”

You chew on your bottom lip, contemplating what to say. Yes, you feel hurt and betrayed but are you any better? You were so desperate for Taehyung to like you because…because you wanted to forget about Jungkook. You used him too. He’s right. And no matter how hard you tried and how much you forced yourself…Jungkook is still the only one you can think about.

Wait a fucking minute. No. He lied to you. He used you. And yes, maybe you were maybe trying to use him too but his is much worse. And you shouldn’t forgive that so easily. Right?

“I think you’re right about needing space Taehyung…you…you did me really wrong.”

Taehyung exhales deeply, looking into your eyes.

“I know y/n. I’m…I’m so sorry.” he looks down at his hands, they’re cold and clammy.

“y/n…please believe me, I’m so confused. I think I like—”

“Don’t.” you hold up your hand in front of him. “Don’t do that.”

Taehyung’s shoulders slump as he nods his head un understanding. “Sorry.”

You’re hurt. You feel used and betrayed. You should direct all your anger towards Taehyung, the one who did this to you but somehow the feeling of hurt and betrayal is coming from someone else. Jungkook. He kept this from you. Why? Why the hell would he keep this from you? You guys are supposed to tell each other everything but then you scoff at your own thought. He won’t even open up about his home life, why are you surprised he keeps things from you?

You decide to walk home from the café, rejecting Taehyungs offer to give you a ride. You need the fresh air, let’s be honest. You finally see your apartment in view and you sigh.

You reach the front door as you unzip your bag to reach for your keys to unlock the door. The keys are cold between your fingers as you search for the right one, but much to your frustration you can’t fucking find it. Obviously, it’s here. But why is it hiding from you?

You very irritatingly rattle the knob just for shits and giggles. You even pound the door with your fists just letting out all your anger, the feeling of betrayal catching up to you. You hit your head against the wooden door repeatedly wincing at the pain but not letting that stop the movement.

Much to your surprise, the door swings open and your head falls forward into Jungkook’s warm hand. You look up with shocked, watery eyes. He studies your face for a few seconds before exhaling deeply.

“What’s wro—"

“You knew. About Anna.” You spit out, standing tall.

Jungkook’s lips form a small ‘o’ before his face is hardening. “I tried to warn you.” Is all he says.

“Warn me?” you scoff in disbelief. “You should of told me.”

“You should of just listened to me, and trust me.” He scoffs back, his lips turning downwards.

“You let me go around pretending to be his girlfriend when you knew how much I liked him??”

“You’re not my responsibility. And it wasn’t my business,” he eyes you up and down. “Are you going to come inside or not?” he gestures towards inside the apartment. You are quiet for a moment before breezing past him and settling in the kitchen.

“Why are you always keeping things from me Jungkook?” you feel so tired, just so fucking tired.

“y/n…” he shuts the front door and walks towards you, his head hanging low. “I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t.”

“Yeah, you guys have your fucking weird ass secrets or whatever. Probably another thing I don’t know about you.”

Jungkook’s eyes grow in size, his eyebrows rising towards his hairline. “He didn’t tell you…”

“No Jungkook.”

He sighs in relief. He walks closer to you until he’s reaching his hands to grab yours.

“I’m sorry…he—”

“We…” you feel your eyes bubble over with tears again, “We slept together.” You sniffle, “He fucking used me.” You stare at Jungkook with a pained expression, “All this time I—I thought I was making progress…” your head falls into your hands and you begin to cry.

. “That asshole fucked you?” Jungkook’s voice is dangerously low.

“I told him…he couldn’t…that fucking dick.” Jungkook turns towards the counter and grabs his keys.

“W-What are you doing?” You lift your head, panic written all over your face.

“Gonna beat his ass.” Jungkook is walking towards the front door to find his shoes.

“No!” you rush towards him, grabbing onto his arm, “I-I’m fine. Me and Taehyung are done, it’s over. No need to do anything el—”

“Fine? How are you fine?! You’re not fine, y/n!” he looks at you, exasperated.

“I—"

“This is my fault.” He bows his head, “I should of told you.” “Well…yes. You should have Jungkook.” You let go of his arm and turn around, you run your fingers through your hair. You feel frustrated as fuck.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“How can I make this up to you?” Jungkook doesn’t know how to feel right now. Guilty? Horrible? Okay? Happy that you and Taehyung are finally fucking done? Furious that his friend fucked you? You of all people? He should beat Taehyungs ass just for that alone.

“I said… why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

Jungkook’s eyes leave yours, they move all around the place as he mind races. What can he say?

“Don’t worry about it.” He whispers.

Your eyes go wide as hell, biggest they’ve ever been. “No. No.” You quickly walk towards him, you shove his chest. Jungkook pinches his brows together as he stumbles back.

“You will not give me that bullshit, Jungkook.” You cry out.

“Just tell me how I can make this up to you so we can move on…” Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest.

“So we can move on? How dare you? You fucked up, Jeon Jungkook!” You struggle to find a breath as you cry, “tell me why!”

Jungkook frowns as he watches you, his heart breaking, He can’t tell you why. His mind takes him back to 3 years ago when he made a promise with himself, he would never tell you why.

“You’re going to lose me Jungkook.” You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, “Do you want that?”

Jungkook feels his heart pounding. Lose you? No, he can’t…

3 years ago

You haven’t talked to him in weeks…and it’s pure torture. He is feeling the same pain he felt when his mom left him. Not the exact same pain…but the feeling of loss is there and it hurts.

You are without a doubt the most important lady in his life and he fucked it all up. He should of never... Why did things have to escalate like that? Why did he have to brush it off like it was nothing? Because now you aren’t talking to him. Is this going to…ruin your friendship?

Jungkook doesn’t think he could handle that. Could he handle another loss like that? No. He needs you in his life, he needs you. He thought…you wanted it. Wanted him. But he was wrong. And he is willing to do anything to go back to how things were before…he wants nothing more than to have your friendship. He swears he will never, never jeopardize your friendship again, no matter how empty it might make him feel.

One month. It took one month for you to finally respond to his texts and agree to meet up. You showed up at his apartment wearing your sweet smile and he broke down crying in front of you for the first time. You sat him down and rubbed his back, whispering words of comfort.

“Let’s just…never talk about it.” You continue to pat his back. Jungkook lifts his head and nods slowly.

“Okay…” he agrees,

“We don’t want to risk our friendship.” You rub the center of his back and he flutters his eyes shut. “Promise?”

Jungkook nods his head again. He promises he will never bring it up, bring up his…his…he promises he will never bring it up. He has to bury this. Because he won’t risk anything with you. He won’t lose you. He won’t make you uncomfortable again, he won’t cause damage to this friendship. He will be best friend Jungkook and that’s it. Because that’s what you want.

The flashbacks are too overwhelming for Jungkook, his memories flooding his body and he’s beginning to drown. His breathing becomes harsher, the loud breaths filling your ears.

“J-Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares at you with his mouth wide open, he tries to speak but no words come out.

“Hey?” you walk closer to him but he takes a clumsy step back.

“Lose you?” he finally manages to stutter out, his eyes wet with unfallen tears.

“Just tell me why, Jungkook.” Your voice is soft this time and he chokes on a quiet sob, his tears beginning to spill.

You walk closer and Jungkook steps back until his back is against the front door, he wipes his sweaty palms on his sweats. These feelings…he doesn’t want to taste their familiarity. He breathes deeply and screws his eyes shut.

“y/n…” he whimpers.

“Just tell me, Jungkook.” You’re standing just in front of him, your chest almost touching his. You tilt your head up and your hands travel up his arms until they’re cupping the back of his head.

Jungkook hesitantly opens his eyes and stares down into your eyes.

He stares down at your face and he admires all your features…he observes how creamy your skin looks, how your eyes crinkle at the edges, how your eyebrows crease slightly as you frown and how pretty and pouty your lips look. His eyes never leave your face as he takes you in. Cute. That’s how he usually views you. But today, right now, you look absolutely beautiful.

Jungkook feels his heart starting to thump wildly in his chest and he grows anxious. He can’t view you that way. He won’t. But his eyes linger on your lips and you look at him with such a cute, confused expression and he can’t help but lean a little closer. He can’t do this. He won’t do this. The anxiety grows and grows but he gets closer and closer. Your eyes begin to flutter shut and before he knows it, his lips find yours. His mouth slants over your own in a long, hot and maybe even a little sloppy kiss. His lips are plush against your own, they move in desperation at first but come to a slower pace. He begins savoring you. But you don’t move. You are in a state of shock.

Before you know it, Jungkook is unfortunately moving away from you. His lips disconnecting from yours and a look of horror is plastered on his face.

“Sorry I—”

You stare at him in shock, not able to speak.

“y/n… I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry—”

And then you’re snorting. A light hearted giggle escapes your lips and you go to cover your mouth from the slip.

Jungkook continues to look horrified, totally and completely terrified of your reaction.

“Sorry, it’s just…” you continue to laugh, “This reminds me of the first time we kissed.” You say softly, a small smile decorating your face.

Jungkook frowns at your words, taking a moment to think.

“It does?” he says, but then he remembers how it went and a soft smile begins to make an appearance.

“Yeah.”

“I dare you to kiss y/n” Jimin says with an evil smirk. You choke on the drink you have in hand once you process his words, eyes wide in terror. Kiss you? Jungkook? Your best friend?

Everyone in the room starts whooping and hollering at the idea but you shake your hands in front on you in denial.

“No, no. We can’t do that!” you slur, your eyes squeezing shut at the idea.

“Yeah, no way in hell am I kissing her.” You hear Jungkook say harshly from beside you.

You don’t know why but that kind of sucks to hear. You feel a pang in your chest, why did he have to say it like that? You mean, it’s just a kiss. It’s not like you were disgusting right?

“Uh yeah.” You say, your mood obviously shifting.

“That’s literally the last thing I want to do!” You hear Jungkook cackle. “someone else can do the honors” he continues to bark loudly, his laughter filling the room.

Jimin frowns, his hands clasping together. “Fine, I dare you to kiss Amber instead.”

“That, I can do.” Jungkook smirks.

How is your best friend making you feel so rejected? You feel your heart drop to your stomach and your stomach drop to the floor. Amber is pretty…probably Jungkook’s type. Although you thought Jungkook didn’t have a type. But whatever it is, it isn’t you.

“I’m gonna go get something more to drink,” you say to no one as you stand to your feet and begin heading out the door. But you feel a body behind you and you know it’s Jungkook. You roll your eyes, feeling annoyed.

The party is still going hard when you make your way downstairs again, you weave through the crowd to get to the kitchen to fetch yourself another beer.

“y/n! Wait up!” you hear Jungkook call from behind you but you decide to ignore him.

You find the cooler of beers and grab yourself one, the chilling beer freezing against your fingertips. You crack it open and begin chugging it back, enjoying the carbonation that sizzled down your throat.

“Slow down Lightning McQueen.” Jungkook chuckles next to you.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you snap.

“What’s with you?” he quirks a brow, looking adorable while doing so.

“What are you doing here?” you snap again, “Shouldn’t you be like, making out with Selena or whatever her name is.”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, his doe eyes big and bright, “Selena? Oh! You mean Amber? Nah, I saw you leaving so I came with you.” He smiles, “I told you no girls tonight. I am spending new year with you.”

You blink at him in surprise, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Jungkook always keeps his word to you.

“Want to go outside?” he asks, heading nodding towards the back door.

“It’s cold, Jungkook!”

“I’ll keep you warm.” He winks then transitions into a soft smile, “Promise.”

The two of you walk outside, it is pretty damn cold, your skirt and crop top barely doing enough to keep you warm.

“Here.” Jungkook is shrugging off his jacket and handing it you.

“Thanks” you shiver, slipping on the warm, fuzzy coat. “Will you be fine?” you question.

“Only if you come snuggle with me.”

“Do these lines work on most girls?”

“Usually all of them.” He smirks, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

You giggle and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his middle. Even though it’s like 20 degrees outside, Jungkook is unbelievably warm.

Jungkook pulls his phone out to check the time, huffing when he sees there’s still a few more minutes until midnight

“So how many girls did you have to reject tonight?” You ask with a snicker. Jungkook raises a brow in question, “Like, ‘oohh Jungkook please be my new years kiss??’ ya know, shit like that.” You mock.

“Oh that? No girls lining up tonight.”

“Why’s that? You shut em all down early?”

Jungkook sways back and forth, your body clinging on to his, “I think they all see me with you tonight and are laying off.”

You scoff at his words, “Right, because I have stopped them before.” You roll your eyes.

“Ha, you never know.” Jungkook takes another look at his phone, “Oh less than a minute.” He says with the shrug of his broad shoulders.

“Wanna be my kiss Jeon?” the words slip out of your mouth almost killing you in the process. You can’t believe you just asked that, “Just kidding, you would rather have someone else kiss me, right?” you huff, saving yourself.

Jungkook chokes on his spit as he tries to swallow down your words, “W-What?”

“Nothing.”

Jungkook obviously heard you loud and clear. Did you actually want to be kissed by him?

5

4

3

2

1

Cheers of your classmates erupt besides you and you cannot help but smile at everyone’s happiness.

“It’s nice right? Every—”

You didn’t get to finish what you were saying before Jungkook’s chapped lips were on yours. His mouth is warm and inviting but you don’t make yourself at home. Instead, you stand absolutely still as Jungkook innocently moves his lips over yours. Before you can really react, Jungkook is pulling away: absolutely horrified.

“y/n…I shouldn’t have done that…I’m sorry,” Jungkook is quick to stutter out.

You are frozen. You wish you could blame something, anything, wish you could blame the flurries that floated down to the earths ground, wish you could blame the below freezing weather and your short mini skirt, wish you could blame anything for why you are standing absolutely frozen.

You wish you could move, but the universe just won’t allow it.

“Oh my god, y/n…I really am sorry…fuck…” Jungkook’s wide eyes are focused on his feet as he threads his fingers through his thick, black hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Please forget about th—”

Jungkook’s lips may be a bit chapped but they are as soft and fluffy as you have once imagined. With your lips back on his, you take charge. You quickly move them over his, he hums in satisfaction. Your fingers find themselves in his dark locks, pushing up into his soft hair as his hand moves to cup your jaw.

You gasp when you feel his teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and moan into his mouth when you feel him jerk his hips into yours.

“Let’s go to your place.” You heavily breathe out, your fingers dragging down the side of his face.

Jungkook disconnects himself from you, stepping back a good foot, inspecting your face,

“You sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure.”

“Are you thinking about that night?” You ask, your voice low.

“No.” he lies, “We promised we would never talk about it y/n. We don’t want to risk our friendship…” he pushes you back by the shoulders—gently, of course. “We need to forget about this kiss too. I fucked up. You’re in a bad place right now—”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. The guy you had feelings for was fucking using you y/n, of course you’re not fine.”

“Would if I want to kiss you Jungkook?”

You don’t believe your own ears as you ask that, but god, you have been holding all this in for 3 years. And he kissed you.

“You don’t. You’re throwing yourself at me because you’re in a bad place.”

You scoff, not believing his choice of words, “Throwing myself?”

“You—you know what I mean.”

“We agreed, didn’t we?” you take a step towards him. “We would never talk about that night, ya know, to save our friendship or whatever.” Another step. “But would If I don’t care anymore?”

Jungkook narrows his eyes at you, “You don’t care about our friendship anymore?” his tone soft and almost sad.

“I just mean, I wonder what more…no, forget it.”

“Yeah, forget it. You’re just sad about Taehyung.” He says more seriously. He backs himself into the wall, he continues to wipe his sweaty palms on his pants.

He…he isn’t wrong. You know what? You are sad. You’re sad Taehyung thought to use you the way he did…you’re sad your best friend didn’t tell you about it. And for what? Because he apparently has a secret of his own? Great, just another thing you don’t know about him. You don’t want to cry and you don’t think you will but that tightness in your throat is apparent and warning you of oncoming tears.

Jungkook lets out a frustrated breath as he pulls you back in to his chest…and you’re too weak to resist. You wrap your arms around him and breathe him in, his scent filling you up and making you feel more at home over and over again.

Jungkook’s hand trails up from your waist to the back of your head, he hated seeing you like this.

The first time Jungkook saw you cry was a couple of years ago in an abandoned parking lot in his old beat up car. Your boyfriend had just broken up with you and you let all the emotions build to the point that when the seatbelt wouldn’t god damn buckle, you lost it. You sat there struggling with the seatbelt trying to click it in the stupid hole thing and it just wouldn’t. Jungkook just watched you with pity as you continued to curse at it for not clicking. You finally gave up, letting the seatbelt crash against the side of the car as the water works began.

You cried like a baby, the tears falling helplessly and Jungkook didn’t know what to do. He knew not to ask why your boyfriend broke up with you but he had a hunch and he was eaten alive by guilt. It was probably the same reason the boyfriend before that broke up with you. Him.

You are obviously growing frustrated but you never, not once, took it out on Jungkook. Instead, you would say it’s fine that you hardly liked them anyway. But he also knew that was almost always a lie. You had this boyfriend that was more serious than the others—he felt it, he knew that this boyfriend would become priority and Jungkook had to be okay with that. But before things could deepen and become more serious…he dumped you.

This was the first time you actually cried over one of your breakups and Jungkook felt heartbroken, he felt lost and confused. This was his fault for being so close to you? But he chooses to be selfish again and again. Because he never distances himself from you, no, instead he somehow always becomes closer. He’s selfish and he knows why.

“Maybe you should take a nap…” Jungkook doesn’t want you to go to sleep. He just doesn’t want you to go. But he has to let you go…in more ways than one.

“Sleepover?” You don’t want to be alone right now.

“Not right now…” he gently pulls you off his body, his head tilted down to get a good look at you.

“I think we need some space y/n.” He almost regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, your face falls into a deep frown and he wants to take it back but he can’t.

“What do you mean?” You reach up to caress his face but he pushes his head back.

“I need time.” He states.

You begin shaking your head as you start to panic.

“Time for what?” you ask desperately.

“We just…don’t…” his words fall ill on his tongue, they’re on the verge of death but he pushes them out regardless.

“We aren’t working right now…I don’t know how else to say it.”

You shake your head more frantically.

“No Jungkook…” the tears that wouldn’t fall earlier begin to slide down your cheeks as you realize what he is saying.

“I’ll stay at Jimin’s for a while.”

“Jungkook please…I cannot be without you…” you wipe your face with the back of your hand.

“You can.” His hand reaches up to wipe away a few stray tears and you lean into his touch, loving the warmth his hand provides.

“I can’t.” you whimper into your shoulder, trying to hide your face. “What happened to ‘never leaving you’ huh?” you spit out.

“I’ll always be here for you y/n but right now I just need some time to think.” He says quietly, almost ashamed.

“Think about what Jungkook?!” you raise your voice at him and you wince at your own volume. What the hell does Jungkook even need to think about?

Jungkook knows that this is selfish but he has to…he has to put some distance until he can handle things again.

“y/n.” his tone warning you to be careful. Jungkook wants nothing more than to hold you and be here for you but for his own god damn sake he needs to get out of here, for his own fucking heart.

“I’ll be back in a few days, I promise…” he pleads, holding on to your waist again. “Just please give me a few days.”

You look into his giant doe eyes and you melt. You exhale through your nose and give him a troubled smile.

“Just a few days?” you look down at your feet, finding your shoes to be fascinating.

“I promise.”

Little did you know this was going to be the first promise Jungkook ever broke.

[calciferstims]

Just looked through the ENTIRE Pokédex to pick out my favorites and here were my many wild thoughts as I went along:

Ok I was always a loyal fire type stan as a kid and that still stands, I have such a soft spot for all the fire type starters

However, I’m REALLY into the grass types now??

Also I always liked water types I think. Marill especially is one I remember loving very much.

I think the only type I can confidently say I don’t care for is fighting 🤭 like I’m sorry to any fighting type stans but why are they all so ugly who decided we needed an element for ‘hehe punching and kicking hehe look they have hands’

Ok I may have a big soft spot for every single canine Pokémon

Actually just every single Pokémon that walks on all fours. Every one that is simply an Animal. Fave.

Also any Pokémon that are just like. Edgy. Like anything I think a ‘cringe’ emo kid (like me in middle school lmao) would like I just un-ironically love so much LIKE THEY ARE JUST COOL OK. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE ACTUAL HOUNDOOM LORE IS BUT IT REMINDS ME OF A PITBULL LIKE A BIG SCAWY DOG THAT EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF BUT ITS JUST A BIG SOFTIE. AND ZOROARK? HELLOOOOO

I don’t think I would particularly be drawn to Lucario today but I do remember it being one of my faves when I played Pokémon as a kid and I had a close bond with mine :’)

I’m sorry but some of the evolutions start off so cute and then turn SO ugly like 😭 Torchic… why they do him so dirty.. look how they massacred my boy…..

Ok I have never related to a Pokémon more than Swadloon

ALSO ESPURR PLSSS. HIM FACE.

I really wish there were more dark types as cool as I want them to be?? Idk man I just feel like every single dark type should be fitting to the imagination of a my chemical romance-obsessed middle schooler and they’re kinda letting me down

YVELTAL. MY BELOVED. MY GUY. MY COOL ASS DUDE, THAT’S WHAT I’M FUCKIN TALKING ABOUT. Ok Pokémon Y was the one I played the most I’m rlly soft for it ok

Why is Salazzle looking at me like that. I don’t like it. Jk the design is ok but. It looks like it’s trying to seduce me

OK BRUXISH IS WORSE. HATE. SO MUCH.

SHDVHH MARSHADOW HAS THE SAME ENERGY AS ESPURR I LOVE IT

Anybody who hurts Wooloo gets killed on the spot. That is all.

Ok there is something about Polteagist I just really enjoy. The face… the lil pose.. it is simply hanging out. Looks like it’s coming out to say hi to me :)

S N O M.

Ok I am not a bug person at all so a lot of the bug types just make me go ‘eh’ but also when the bug types DO go off, they go off SO hard??? Literally pop off sis ok

See, Spectrier is where it’s AT. That looks exactly like the type of Pokémon my MLP, anime-obsessed aunt still in her emo phase would go wild for. 10/10.

OH THANK GOD I DID IT. PHEW

I think I picked out like over 50 Pokémon that I jotted down in my notes app. Mayhaps I will go through later and try to isolate some top faves 🤔

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Hi Bunny! So I have this thought... Going to watch Kook get a new tattoo and you decide that while you're there you get a nipple piercing. You kinda sneak off and do it, telling him you're going to the bathroom or something while his tattoo is getting finished. But you don't tell him what you've done and you wait to see if he notices. So later that night you're just lounging around and get ready for bed, wearing just one of his oversized white t-shirts. You smirk at him every time he looks at you, and he keeps asking what's going on, but you won't tell him. So you both get in bed and watch tv, but you spill water all over the front of yourself, and THAT'S when he notices. He grabs the bottom of the shirt and lifts it over your head, gasping "Jagi, when did you get this?!"" all doe eyed. You tell him you had thought about it for awhile but wasn't sure what he would think, but decided to go for it and surprise him. His eyes turn all dark, and he lightly flicks at the pierced nipple, apologizing when you let out a low hiss. But he goes carefully after that, laying you down and practically devouring you whole, telling you how sexy you are and how he can't wait to play with the new jewelry and tease you with the steel rolling on his tongue. -Pisces anon (I'm on my laptop trying to set up a new thirst blog, hehe Also, can you let me know if you got my ask about being in JK's music video? I don't remember when I sent it in)

YOU ARE ON FIRE WITH THESE SCENARIOS OMG, all I want is for Jungkook to look at me like I’m his next meal and absolutely devour me because he can’t resist 😭. I want him to just get on top of me, pin me down and shower me in kisses, nibbles and bites 🥵🥵. Jungkooooook 😭😭😭😭😭

(yes I got your other one! Loved it too!)

[stingray-stories]

Day 21 7/18/2021

Sundayyyyyyyy. A day of rest. Or as much fun stuff you can pack into one day without making yourself more tired for the week ahead. Sigh…an impossible task. This morning I got a nice and shweatyyyyy workout in. It was pretty stormy today so I didn’t get to do all the things I wanted, but it did force me to have some much needed drawing time. This is going to sound funny but I haven’t drawn or painted on real paper in so long. I’ve done a lot of stuff on my iPad because it’s very convenient and I have access to so many different mediums that I usually go digital. I did, however, miss the thrill of not being able to double tap to undo a mistake haha. I was also very rusty so I did not completely love the hermit crab and heliotropium tree that I drew (for that reason, I will not be sharing it :)). At about noon, we headed out to snorkel. It was a bit of a slow start since the boat we were taking had some issues and we ended up having to be towed back to the dock and switched into another boat. Then we were off again…like a herd of turtles. No not really we were going probably about 10 whole nautical miles. Much faster than a turtle. Unless you’re talking about a sea turtle then we may have had some competition. Anyhoot, our first spot was crazy corals and boy was it crazy. I mean craaaaaazzzyyy! You didn’t even have to get in the water to see all the incredible colors and shapes. We, of course, got in because shuduh and it was insane. All of the coral was off the crazy charts and every inch of the surrounding area was coral. I didn’t even see sand around. I think my favorite thing about this snorkel was diving down and looking up at all the unique shapes and angles of all the different coral colonies. Not to mention all the incredible the colors. The next stop was tortagonia (or tortellini depending on who’s on the radio). At that snorkel site we were really close to the waves crashing on a much shallower area just outside of where we hopped in. It was fun sticking my head out of the water and watching the big waves crashing when right below me was a calm community of organisms. We also got pretty close to the really shallow part where the waves were crashing and it was just a huge pile of dead squirrels again…geezo beezo (ps this is a joke from a previous entry)…jk dead coral rubble. We were advised not to go over the coral rubble since the other side is deep with strong currents. Near there I saw a massive Napoleon wrasse just hanging out and giving me the side eye. As far as big fish go (not including whale sharks and other big sharks since those are massive) this was one biiiiig boy. I also saw lots of parrotfish and heard them crunching and munching the coral. Additionally, I saw some more bird wrasses which are just tooooo cute. The coolest fish I saw that I haven’t see yet was a sling-jaw wrasse. I didn’t see it with its jaw out, but it resembles the xenomorph (I looked up what the the alien was called since I’m not Joshua Massaro who probably knows this) in the movie Alien, starring the badass Sigourney Weaver, when it’s slowly sticking it’s scary jaw jabber thingy before it kills. It’s a very strange looking fish, but I was excited to add it to my list. At this site I also saw a bunch of giant clams. They are just so cool. Every time I see one I dive down to say hello. After leaving tortellini, it started pouring rain and I got very chilly so when I got back I had a 30 second warm shower. Mmmmmm.

Later I called my super cool family and gave them updates about what’s going on and answered some of their questions. After that, I chatted with Oz aka Zach aka boyf (this was previously autocorrected to boy hehe). Thanks for those lovely chats! It’s nice hearing about what’s going on with everyone since usually during my free time I’m writing about what I did so I love to know what’s going on with my peeps outside of Palmyra. After that, I had some grub and watched, get this, The Office. Gasp! What a surprise! Once things calmed down, I stayed in the galley and started Dark Knight Rises (another very quotable movie. I also always feel like Bane when I’m wearing a life jacket and I hold onto the top of it like he does). While watching, I wrote my blog and then got ready for bed. Last night was the latest I went to sleep - 10 PM!! Ah!

Side note: I try my best to proofread, but once I’ve written a full entry I get excited and just want to post so keep that in mind :). Also, if there’s something drastically wrong or confusing let me know and I can adjust it. Thank you thank you!

Another side note: an updated map with snorkel sites is on the way! Woop!

[la-paritalienne]

hellooooo 🍭 how are you?? Just letting you know your fans are waiting for your usual song by song review for Chemtrails 😇 if you want to do one!!!! Xx

😍😭 omgggg this is long overdue :((( i’ve been neglecting my tumblr for a series of reasons – some of which regrettable – and i can’t believe this slipped my mind! please let me know if you see it and thank you for asking. i’m always amazed that someone cares. without further ado!

white dress: i looooove this as an opening track, the breathy voice is perfect and the song sets the tone for the whole album, both vocally and lyrically. the chorus is super catchy and got stuck in my head from the first listen (which was before the album came out hehe), i adore the look how i do this, look how i got this part. downatthemaninmusicbusinessconferece kinda makes me laugh but at the same time it’s iconic and different. also, i wish i could keep this for myself but i feel compelled to say that the way she sings down in orlANdo reminds me of sweet brown’s i got bronCHithis fgkgkkg so yeah funny AND iconic sums it up.

fave lyrics: ‘cause it made me feel, made me feel like a god / kinda makes me feel like maybe i was better off

8,5/10

chemtrails over the country club: this was by far my fave single, although i wasn’t obsessed w it at first as i got after listening to it within the album. from the first line, it just makes your stomach twist in that bittersweet way. i love the laid back production, the lyrics are poignant and gorgeous (there’s nothing wrong contemplating god, i’m not unhinged or unhappy i’m just wild) and i adore how mundane stuff meets poetic imagery, plus the astrology references... not to mention how brave it is to wanna share those placements (jk, no hate). the different vocals, the falsetto, the layering... it’s just so good. also this might be an unpopular opinion but i think the title is genius and i absolutely support this as a title track.

fave lyrics: you’re in the wind, i’m in the water / nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter

9/10

tulsa jesus freak: this was my fave from the first seconds, it’s stunning, bittersweet, i loooove the production (the little autotune over hurry up gives me chills). i can’t even comment properly because i love everything about it.

fave lyrics: like a little piece of heaven, no more candle in the wind

10/10

let me love you like a woman: i think the opening promises more than what the song delivers, especially the chorus is maybe a bit underwhelming? but tbh after a few listens it grew on me too, i love the high notes and the lyrics are sweet. the first line remains my fave part tho, the way she delivers it... also the verses in general, simple and honest and kind of bratty (i guess i could manage if you stay / its just if you do, i can’t see myself having any fun, so), i can’t not love it.

fave lyrics: talk to me in songs and poems / don’t make me be bittersweet

8+/10

wild at heart: this one gives me old lana vibes, like somewhere between ultraviolence and honeymoon, especially the verse – i’m just obsessed w it. the chorus sounds a lot like some other songs of hers, maybe a little too much for me to enjoy it completely (esp mariner’s apartment complex, her vocal runs sound exactly the same??). anywayyy it’s just a very beautiful song. at first i wasn’t particularly bewildered by this album, like i recognised quality but that was it, but after a few listens i have to say it’s impressive how consistently good the songs are.

fave lyrics: i love you lots like polka dots / you’re killing me more

8-/10

dark but just a game: the hidden gem of the album, competes w tulsa jesus freak for the n.1 spot in my heart, actually maybe it holds it rn, i’m just stunned by it. it almost sounds like lizzy grant’s repertoire, but with lana’s maturity and nonchalance. simply a gorgeous reflection on fame. both musically and lirically i just find it impeccable.

fave lyrics: life is sweet or whatever baby

10/10

not all who wander are lost: ok this might be my least fave (spoiler: with the cover), it’s pretty and the lyrics are good, maybe slightly basic? and it just doesn’t stick w me, it kinda sounds like a poem slightly sung? the background music is maybe too feeble and there’s no memorable melody, if it makes sense. however, the look at me, look at you part elevates it quite a bit. (i mean, it’s no ‘how you like that’, but i liked it)

fave lyrics: the thing about men like you is you got a lot to say / but will you stay?

7-/10

yosemite: another not-fave, maybe this and the previous ones kinda feel like fillers to me, like for my taste, i like them and would never skip them if listening to the whole album, but they wouldn’t make a separate playlist. however, the chorus of this is kind of catchy, although the metrics in we did it for the right reasons kind of bug me, idk why! i also find the song a bit too long and monotone! yes to the candle in the wind reference (again!) tho.

fave lyrics: isn’t it cool how nothing here changes at all?

7/10

breaking up slowly: up there w tjf and dark but just a game. why the fuck isn’t nikki lane credited???? she is insane, when she opens she sounds like stevie nicks and her armonies w lana are perfect. the lyrics are simply heartbreaking and the country feel of it all is unexpected and fresh within the album. love love love

fave lyrics: we might be breakin’ up after this song

10/10

dance ‘till we die: spoiler alert, this song kind of bored me until the rock break??? iconic????? it’s still not my fave bc the verses are a bit too slow and unremarkable to me, but That Part just levels everything up.

fave lyrics: but sometimes, this ranch feels like my only friend / and life doesn’t always work out like we planned / we keep it movin’, babe

7,5/10

for free: i love both weyes and zella, although i find the mix of them + lana a bit confusing, like individually i can tell them all apart, but none of them brings the rawness and contrast w lana that other features of hers did (nikki, stevie!!!). also im sorry joni but i really don’t like this song?? maybe the original is amazing and im an ignorant for not knowing it and it was them who made it so boring and lamentous? idk. anyway. it’s a cover so idk if the vote is more for the song or for the production and adaptation or what but yeah. strong lyrics of course, but this is my opinion on this version of it

fave lyrics: and i’ll play if you’ve got the money / or if you’re a friend to me / but the one-man band by thе quick lunch stand / he’s been playin’ real good for free

6-/10

sooo overall i really loved it and some of the songs i particularly liked are among her best ever to me, though that’s like 100 songs by now so, quite a big list. what did you think? again, thank you for caring and sorry for the delay ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[shyvioletcat]

Okay jk one more prompt: “That was kind of hot.” 😂 I can see this being a pun intended situation with Rowan being a firefighter hehe

Hi, hello everyone! This took me longer than expected because its hella long. But no way was I cutting it down. Enjoy. 

Masterlist

~~~~~

Aelin was ready to shake off the awkwardness from the night before, if only just for her own peace of mind. Her kids had their excursion to the fire station and she wasn’t going to let her errant blouse ruin that for them.

When she’d realised she was standing there half naked in front of Rowan Aelin was glad she had been blessed with whatever amount of foresight that morning to put on a good bra. If Rowan was going to see her in such a state she was glad it was at her best.

It was also becoming blatantly obvious Rowan was into her, and more than just a little, and she wasn’t about to deny that she wasn’t very attracted to him. But the thing was she wasn’t sure if she wanted to make the first move. It would be far more interesting to see how long it would take for her to break down Rowan’s unwavering resolve. She had a sneaking suspicion it was rapidly reaching its end.

What threw her plans out was that Rowan was already gone by the time she got up. So with a sigh Aelin threw back her covers and got ready for the day.

~~~~~

“You’re in early.”

Rowan tried to ignore the mischief dancing in Fenrys’s voice.

“Want to make sure everything is perfect for when your friend gets here?” Fenrys asked, make sure to accentuate friend when he said it.

Rowan continued to ignore him.

“Come on Whitethorn, not just a little bite?”

The slamming of Rowan’s locker was his answer. Fenrys laughed.

“Feeling a little frustrated there, bud?”

If Fenrys had a talent it was to know exactly what would piss people off.

“If you haven’t been able to charm her maybe I’ll give it a go,” Fenrys mused to himself in a way that was begging, almost pleading, for a reaction.

“One day, Fenrys, someone is going to punch your teeth out and I hope I’m there to see it,” Rowan said as he made his way to the door.

Fenrys’s laughter chased him out the door and Rowan got as far away from it as he could before he was the one to punch Fenrys’s teeth out himself.

~~~~~

“Alright children you know the rules,” Aelin said as the minibus pulled to a stop. “You listen to all instructions and you don’t touch anything unless you’re told to. This isn’t a playground, this is a workplace and the things in there are used to help people. Understood?”

There was a lot of nodding and choruses ‘yes Miss G’. The kids were excited and ready to practically bounce off the bus.

“First instruction, when you get off line up beside the bus,” Aelin said as she stepped off the bus. There was a rush for the door as twenty 8 year olds made for the door. Elide would bring up the rear making sure everyone got off.

“Miss G?” Aelin heard beside her as she watched the last few kids get off the bus.

“Yes Benjamin,” Aelin said as Elide stepped down and the bus door closed.

“Do you think Fireman Whitethorn will answer my question? He didn’t get to last time,” Benjamin asked.

“Do not ask him that again,” Aelin said, her cheek involuntarily flushing.

Elide, of course didn’t miss a thing.

“What was the question?” She asked innocently.

“It was —“

“If you promise me that you will never repeat that question to anyone you can have a prize from the prize box.” Aelin wasn’t above bribery when it came to this.

“Without having to get 10 stickers?” Benjamin asked with wide eyes.

“Yep. Now line up please,” Aelin said.

“What was the question?” Elide asked again. Aelin ignored it. “Oh come on. If you’re trying to hide it that bad it’s something embarrassing. My imagination is running wild.”

“Nothing, lets get these kids off the street before we lose one,” Aelin said dismissively.

“I’ll find out, you know I will,” Elide taunted. Aelin didn’t doubt she would.

Aelin led her students towards the fire station, excited murmurs a constant behind her. She’d walked towards the big red doors that looked as if they led to the reception area. Aelin held the door back as they all filed in, she was sure at least half of them were about to explode.

“Hi everyone!”

Aelin turned to see Rowan standing by the door behind the large built in desk. Just about twenty voices chimed ‘hi’ back.

“Should we get started?” He asked with a charming smile.

Aelin let to door shut behind Elide as the door behind Rowan opened and another firefighter stepped through. Aelin recognised him as the friend she had met very briefly when Rowan had first installed the padlock on her door. She’d been so angry the first time she saw him Aelin hadn’t noticed how devastatingly beautiful he was.

“Alright guys, my name is Fenrys. If you’d like to follow me,” he said and walked back through the door.

The kids eagerly followed, leaving Aelin and Elide to follow up behind. Rowan joined them.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey yourself,” Aelin said then indicated to Elide. “You remember Elide right?”

Rowan nodded. “How’s it going?”

“So far so good,” she replied.

“Well I’m going to go help Fenrys out,” Rowan said a little awkwardly then went back to the front of the group.

“What happened?” Elide whispered.

“What do you mean what happened?” Aelin whispered back.

“That was super awkward.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aelin said crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah okay,” Elide retorted sarcastically.

They followed where Fenrys and Rowan led, which was into the locker room.

“This is where we put our stuff while we work. This is my locker,” Rowan explained and opened it. There was a duffel bag and some toiletries in there Rowan leaving it open for a few moments before he closed it again. “We wouldn’t want your bags interfering with your day today, so find a safe place for your bags and then we’ll go see the the fire engines.”

There was a rush of movement and Rowan had to move out of the way as the majority of the kids piled their bags right in front of his locker. He didn’t seem to mind. He just smiled.

“That’s a little bit cute,” Elide muttered.

Aelin was inclined to agree.

Fenrys and Rowan took them out of the locker room and walked them to the fire engines in the garage. The kids were in awe of the big trucks.

There were a few other men moving around the trucks, two dark-haired one blonde. They were all impressively built.

“What is this place?” Elide muttered beside her as the men stopped what they were doing and started to line up. Aelin’s mouth fell open a little.

“Do they have to pass some kind of test?” Aelin mused.

Because as the five of them lined up… it was like they’d walked into a dream. A dream full of very handsome firefighters.

There was a man who looked identical to Fenrys, except where Fenrys hair was golden his was black. The man beside him had rich brown hair and eyes, he shot Aelin and Elide a dashing smile making the two women share a look. The last of the newcomers was older than the others looking to be maybe mid 40s instead of mid to late 20s like the rest of them. He had a kind face and something about it had Aelin looking a little more closely at him. When he looked at Aelin he did a double-take, an odd look on his face.

Rowan spoke drawing the attention of everyone in the room, distracting Aelin from musing further about the third man.

“This is Connall, Vaughan and Gavriel. We’re all going to show you different parts of the fire truck. We just need you in groups of four.”

To Aelin’s surprise the kids happily split themselves into groups in a few minutes. She thought she would have to divvy them up but they were all so excited that they didn’t really care who they were with. Gavriel took his group to the cab of the engine, Vaughan around the other side to show them what was hidden under the roller door, Connall showed them the hose, Fenrys working with him was going to explain the water tank, and Rowan showed them the suits that lined the wall. Aelin and Elide wandered around from group to group, making sure every one was behaving and to help move them along when it was time to. Aelin couldn’t keep the smile from her face, her students were loving it.

Every once and a while the siren would go off for half a second, making everyone jump and laugh a it blared in the small space. One of these times she was with Fenrys and Connall, holding up the hose. She had been intently listening to what Connall was saying that when the siren went off she stumbled back and let out a small yelp, her hand going to her chest. Fenrys was there with a steadying hand and her students laughed at her. 

“Just so you know we’re all extensively trained in first aid,” Fenrys said quietly as Connall continues his part of the presentation. “If you happen to pass out I hear my CPR technique is the best.”

Aelin looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “That’s your line?”

Fenrys shrugged and gave her a dashing smile. Aelin just laughed. Connall cleared his throat giving his brother a pointed look. 

“Oh, my turn? Alrighty. You see the water tank...” 

Aelin zoned out as Fenrys started his presentation handing off the hose to Connall. A glance to her left showed her Rowan looking at her as the kids in his group tried on various equipment. He looked away quickly but Aelin didn’t miss the look on his face. The look she was pretty sure was jealousy. Maybe it was time to pay Rowan a visit.

She sauntered over, arms crossed over her chest. Rowan didn’t acknowledge her when she stepped up beside him, but he obviously knew she was there. 

“These pants help protect us from the heat of the fire,” Rowan explained holding up the yellow pants. 

“How about you dress me up Fireman Whitethorn. Let the kids see the full get up,” Aelin suggested casually. The look he gave her was anything but, his mind no doubt flashing back to her undressing last night. Aelin gave him a knowing smile.

Rowan just shook his head a little before he said, “That sounds like a great idea.”

~~~~~

Rowan tried, he really had tried, not to get annoyed when Fenrys flirted with Aelin. When she had laughed at whatever stupid pick-up line he’d come up with it had broken his resolve. He knew it had been stupid line from the look on Aelin’s face, obviously finding it more amusing than anything. What got to him was knowing that Fenrys was doing it mostly to get a rise out of him. At least that’s what Rowan was telling himself. It was stupid to be jealous, they weren’t anything to each other, not roommates, barely even friends. 

That was a lie, on his part he definitely considered Aelin a friend now. A friend who was determined to torment him.

“Here start with the pants,” Rowan said as he went to pass them to Aelin. 

“If you would be so kind,” Aelin’s eyes darted to the group and back up.

Rowan sighed and knelt, laying down the pants so Aelin could step into them. As she did, she gripped his shoulder lightly making him shiver at the light contact. Then Rowan pulled them up by the suspenders which Aelin slipped her arms through. Next he put a hood on over her head, Rowan explaining that this kept things from falling into the suit like ash. Then there was the jacket and the helmet. Aelin shrugged on the jacket after Rowan had guided it onto her arms and placed the helmet gently onto her head. She grinned up at him from under the visor, completely dwarfed in his uniform. It was actually adorable.

“How do I look guys?” Aelin said twisting from one foot to the other. 

“I think Fireman Whitethorn would look better in it,” a girl chimed in.

Aelin looked at Rowan, that grin still on her face. “I think you’re absolutely right.”

~~~~~

After all the groups had seen all of the engine Rowan led them back into the main building. 

“We’re now heading out the back so we can show you some training drills,” He explained. “We’re about to go past the office of our Captain. He’s a bit grumpy so we need to keep quiet.” Rowan pressed a finger to his lips for emphasis. A few of the kids giggled.

They walked past said office and Aelin couldn’t help but look in. She stopped in the other side of the hall in the guise of supervising the children as they walked past, Elide beside her. A man with dark hair sat hunched over his desk, his face was harsh but he Aelin wouldn’t deny there was a handsomeness to it. Just another confirmation there was some kind of hotness test these firefighters needed to pass to work here. Aelin kept moving but Elide lingered for a moment more until Aelin said, “See something of interest, Elide?”

Startled out of her trance by Aelin’s words she started walking again, a faint blush on her cheeks. It was then the Captain looked up, his eyes darted from Aelin to Elide, where they lingered a little long for Aelin’s liking. Then his face turned into a scowl as the rest of the children passed. Aelin decided right then she didn’t like him very much.

Outside there was a large open space. There was a small building in one no doubt used for drills. Rowan stopped walking and like a row of little ducks so did the children. Fenrys and Connall appeared, holding a length of what looked like old hose. 

“Me and my team are going to set a fire and show you how we respond and put the fire out. This is completely controlled so you are all safe. But just to make sure Fenrys and Connall will be here, make sure you don’t go beyond the hose they are holding up.”

After his explanation Rowan went of to wear Gavriel and Vaughan were suiting up and did so as well. The twins held up the hose one at either end of line of students. Aelin stood behind them, watching intently for any runners.

“Jake, don’t even think about it,” Aelin said sternly as a little brown haired boy looked ready to cause mischief. He immediately settled and even went as far as to take a small step back from the hose. Good.

Vaughan went out to what looked like to me a pile of scrap wood, with a flick of his wrist and a lighter it was ablaze. He jogged back to the other and they went into action, pulling down the visors of their helmets and picking up the hose. Although it was over quickly, the drill was quite impressive to see. They worked efficiently as a team, positioning themselves and aiming the hose. Once the fire was out the class cheered. Aelin smiled at their enthusiasm. Then they demonstrated using a ladder and the hose against the building in the corner, without fire though, and then the how to do the classic stop drop and roll technique. Once again without actual flames which Aelin thought a little boring.

“Who wants to have a go of the hose?” Rowan asked as he came over, pulling off his jacket and helmet. Hands shot up and ‘me me me’ was said over and over again. Rowan just smiled. “Alright, we’re going to set up over there. While we do get into two lines.”

There was some bustling but eventually the kids sorted themselves out. Although when they saw that Rowan would be manning one of the hoses some of the kids jumped ship to his line. Connall manned the other but it seemed Rowan was a crowd favourite. 

“Benjamin, over to the other line,” Aelin said as she spied him looking a little to eager. 

“But --” 

“No buts, over you go. Help even up them up,” Aelin told him.

He sighed a little but did as instructed. 

“I still want to know what the question is that he’s so desperate to ask,” Elide muttered. Aelin chose not to answer.

What Rowan and Connall had them do was hose down two giant, bright orange road cones, their turn ending when they knocked them over. The whole class loved it and whined and complained once Rowan announced it was time to go back inside for lunch.

They went back to the locker room to collect their bags and then to the dining room, which also looked like it served meeting room as well. The kids scattered themselves around, pulling out their lunch boxes. Aelin went over to where Rowan stood supervising them.

“So, good job out there with the flames and everything. Very impressive,” she said. “That was kind of hot.”

Rowan choked on his bite of apple.

“I was talking about the fire,” Aelin said with a smirk.

Rowan just coughed some more. 

“What on earth did you think I was talking about?” Aelin said, voice oozing with sarcasm.

Rowan was saved from answering as the Captain walked in, his arms full of paper bags. There was a definite look of surprise of Rowan’s face as he walked towards them. He deposited the bags onto the large table before he came all the way over.

Rowan cleared his throat one last time. “This is Captain Salvaterre.”

The dark broody man just gave her a small nod, Aelin focused on keeping her face neutral, remembering the disdain on his face when saw her students.

“I guess I have you to thank for letting me bring the kids here, they’ve really enjoyed it,” Aelin said.

“Good, I’m glad.” He certainly didn’t sound it. 

Elide wandered over about then.

“Elide Lochan, my class aide,” Aelin said.

“Nice to meet you,” Captian Salvaterre said, and sounded sincere about it. He even went so far as to extend his hand for Elide to shake.

Aelin sent Rowan a questioning look but he seemed even more confused than she was.

Elide shook his hand, it dwarfed hers, but it was Aelin she addressed. “We should start packing up soon to meet the bus. I think someone else had it booked for this afternoon. A sport thing.”

Aelin glanced down at her watch. “You’re right. Get them to start packing up their bags.”

Elide nodded and started to move around the room. 

“Bags are for the kids,” the captain said then left without another word. 

“He’s charming, absolute prize that one,” Aelin said once he was out of earshot.

Rowan shrugged. “He’s not that bad once you get to know him.”

“I don’t think I want to,” Aelin replied, a look of something close to disgust on her face. “So I was thinking I’d get dinner for us tonight. As a thank you for today. I know a good Italian place that delivers.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Rowan said, a small smile on his lips.

“Great. I’ll see you at home then?”

Rowan nodded. “I’ll see you at home.”

Aelin moved away to get her students ready before Rowan could see the smile on her own face. He liked the sound of him saying he was coming home to her. It also helped that she’d received a notification about an hour ago that her package had been delivered. Her plan was all coming together.

~~~~~

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