#jj-centric

[multifandumbmeg]

Mini fic about JJ and Mike Carrera's Relationship? More Likely than you'd think

*casually slides AO3 link for mini fic I started writing before the current long fic* It's only six chapters and it's completed please put it in your mouth.

Summary: Five months after finding El Dorado, JJ struggles to fit into Kiara's family. Though much of the misunderstandings have been resolved, Mike is hesitant to let go of his prejudice toward JJ. This is the story of how learn to set aside their differences and become close. ******************************************************************* “Wait. Wait a minute, please. I’m not here to fight, I swear. I just need to talk to JJ.” “He’s had enough for tonight. Leave him alone.” Against his better judgement, JJ carefully got out of bed. It was something in Mike’s voice. An emotion he’d never heard before. “Please, just let me speak to him. I need to-“ He quietly stepped out of his room. “JJ,” John B breathed. He ran a hand through is disheveled hair and sighed. “Let him in.”

[starry-bite]

can you imagine writing the 'it gives me you' scene for a pair of characters and then having them not interact for the rest of the season? wild.

[emilyinsuits]

yes i’m still on this. morgan’s FACE, emily being physically unable to even watch jj and reid hug, the look and the nod between jj and morgan 😭 this episode gave us some juicy stuff okay!!!

[lightandheatao3]

The Bunker - Criminal Minds

Chapter 1: The Bunker

Summary: Spencer Reid wakes up in a locked bunker to find half the current BAU and two of its departed members unconscious on the floor. The old team is back together but the reunion is not what any of them would have wished for. An Unsub from their past has decided it's time they all stop keeping secrets, even if it means exposing them by force.

Hotch and Derek have been pulled back into a world they tried to escape. Emily, Rossi, and JJ are doing their best to keep it together. Spencer is falling apart.

AKA a found family is reunited and forced to go through the most nightmarish version of family therapy imaginable.

Set months after the end of Criminal Minds: Evolution. Evolution referenced, but not necessary to understand the story.

Read chapter 1 on AO3 or under the cut. All comments and reblogs are so appreciated <3

Chapter 2 link

Spencer cracked his eyes open, flinching from the white fluorescent light and blinking hard against the groggy, dull ache in his head.

His mouth was dry, body heavy. A familiar wake up. He reached his hand out blindly for the relief waiting on his bedside table.

No- wait.  

His lights are all yellow toned filament bulbs, not white fluorescents.

The smell was wrong. The dull electrical buzz in the air was louder, pitched higher.

His eyes shot open wide and he scrambled to his feet.

This wasn’t home.

He surveyed his surroundings, fighting the wave of dizziness that came with standing too abruptly.

“Oh no,” he said out loud. “Nonononono…”

The room was large and square and made entirely of concrete. Up the top a small vent, too high to reach and too small for a person to fit into. A heavy door with a double walled chamber for someone to put things into without having to interact with the person on the other side. The kind you would find in a maximum-security prison cell. The whole room felt like a prison cell, a place he’d hoped to never be again. At the back of the room a small en-suit that was completely stripped bare but for a metal toilet with no seat and a sink that was bolted into the wall. There was a door that could be shut, but there was a gap under it and a hole where a doorknob had clearly been removed.

A camera. There on the roof, drilled in and protected by a plexiglass dome, blinking its little red light at him. He stared at it for a moment, then closed his eyes.

He slowed his breathing. Now was not the time to fall apart. Not now. Not yet.

Not when there were 5 of his friends prone on the ground around him, unconscious as he had been only moments ago.

Each was laid out on a thin foam mattress, the kind with no seams or springs that could be fashioned into tools.

His first stop was the door. He knew before he tried it that it wasn’t going to open, but he had to make sure. As soon as that was confirmed, he turned his attention to the people in the room with him.

He rushed over to Emily first, rolling her onto her side and checking her pulse. It was slow, but steady. He looked around at the rest of them, noting the gentle rise and fall of their chests. All alive. He sighed audibly, clasping his hands together in thanks and relief for a split second before turning back to Emily.

He gently shook her, putting his hand on her cheek in what he hoped was a comforting way. His hands were shaking. He wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline or the comedown. “Emily," he said gently. “Emily, it’s me, Spencer. Wake up Emily.”

After a few more repetitions her eyes fluttered, then opened. She looked up at him hazily. “Spencer?”

“Hi,” he said sadly, knowing there were only a second left until she realized the danger they were in and wanting to let her experience that second in peace.

She glanced behind him where JJ lay unconscious. He looked at her pupils. They were constricted, confirming his suspicions.

“Oh my god,” Emily gasped, her hand reaching up to clutch his shoulder. She leveraged herself against him to drag her way up into a sitting position. She rubbed at her eyes blearily, then opened them again and cast them around the entire room. “Fuck,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Her eyes snapped back to him. “Are you alright?” she asked urgently, looking him over. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” he assured her. “And I don’t know. I woke up a minute ago. I don’t remember how I got here. I think we were all drugged.”

She hummed in agreement. “Last thing I remember I was outside my apartment on the way home from the gym. I still feel a little out of it. God, Spencer, you look awful,” she said, putting a hand over his. “What did they do to you?”

“Same thing as you, most likely.” He looked away. “Emily, that’s Hotch over there,” he deflected. “And Derek.”

Emily looked to where he was pointing. Her expression was solemn, professionalism kicking in even in these dire circumstances. “Yeah. And no sign of Tara, Matt, or Luke. And no Penelope, thank God. Whoever did this, they’ve got a grudge against us that predates the others joining the BAU. Someone who met all of us but never had direct interaction with Penelope. This is good. If the others are free, they’ll find us.”

Spencer nodded in agreement. “This is someone with the skill to find Hotch in witness protection. If he wasn’t dead, I would have said it was Scratch. The logistics of kidnapping 6 highly trained federal agents takes an enormous amount of planning and ability. There are only handful of people we’ve encountered with the capacity to pull something like this off.”

She rubbed at her temples. Her eyes were losing the glassy sheen as the adrenaline counteracted the effects of the drugs. “I assume you tried the door?” He nodded. “I guess we should wake the others.”

No sooner than she said it, JJ stirred. They both crawled over to her. Her wake up process went much the same as Emily’s, but for the fact that the first thing she asked about was if her children were safe, before she’d come to enough to realize they had no way of knowing.

“Whoever this is likely targeted you while you were alone,” Spencer assured her. “It’s much safer to take a victim without witnesses, especially a victim who is trained to defend themselves and needs to be physically incapacitated.”

Next, they woke Rossi, who responded immediately by swearing up a storm and threatening to rip the head off whoever was responsible for this.

“Hey, Dave, it’s okay,” said JJ in a calming voice, even as she looked about to cry. “There’s nobody in here but us.”

He breathed. He nodded. He cursed again. He nodded again.

“At least I’m not alone this time,” he said with a world weariness that Spencer felt in his gut.

They had all been in situations like this before, but Rossi was barely recovered from the last time only a few months ago. Spencer still regret so deeply that he wasn’t there to help with Elias Voit.

“No, you’re not alone,” agreed Emily emphatically. “On that note, look who else is here,” she said.

“God fucking dammit,” cursed Rossi as his eyes swept over Derek and landed on Hotch.

Seeing Derek there was upsetting, but it wasn’t as jarring as Hotch’s presence. Derek still came along to the occasional social event, though less and less recently, as he was busy with the birth of his second child. Spencer personally still saw him once a month or so, though the past year their contact had been more limited to phone calls. They were all dreading having to watch him learn he’d been pulled into this nightmare, but if nothing else they could offer him the comfort of familiarity and camaraderie.

But Hotch… none of them had heard so much as a whisper from him in years. When he disappeared, he did so completely. It’s the kind of thing that would have wounded Spencer deeply under any other circumstances, but after everything Daniel Lewis aka Mr Scratch had put him through, he only ever hoped that Hotch had found every semblance of peace that life could give him. He’d missed him badly at times, but he would have rather they never meet again than have to meet like this.

They decided to wake Derek first.           

Rossi nearly got a fist in the face before Derek pieced together what was happening. Then, he put a fist directly into a concrete wall instead.

“I’m going to regret that when the drugs wear off,” he said sheepishly once he’d calmed down just a bit. “Whatever they dosed us with, they did not skimp. The comedown is gonna suck,” he said, side eyeing Spencer, who pretended not to notice.

The question and answer was the same as with the others. Do you remember anything about who took you? No. Has anyone tried the door? Yes. Derek threw a shoe at the camera for good measure, but of course it just bounced off the plexiglass and landed pathetically on the floor.

The bang of it hitting the concrete was enough to make Hotch finally stir. They all turned to face him, staring helplessly.

His hair was longer than Spencer had ever seen it. Still short, but more relaxed, skimming the bottom of his ears and starting to curl a little at the base of his neck. He was still lean, but some of the muscle had been replaced by fat. He looked just a little softer. Healthier. His face was peaceful. Spencer always remembered him looking tense, even in his sleep. His hair was streaked with grey but somehow this was the youngest Spencer had ever seen him look.

He stirred a little more, blinking at last.

Ah, there was the familiar tension creeping its way back across his face.

Rossi was the one who finally knelt down beside him. “Aaron? I’m so sorry my friend,” he said sadly as recognition flashed in Hotch’s eyes.

“I’m dreaming,” came the familiar voice. Spencer had missed that voice more than he'd known.

Hotch closed his eyes tightly, then opened them again. He looked past Rossi at the rest of them. Spencer raised his hand in a polite greeting, then immediately felt like an idiot for doing so.

“I’m not dreaming,” he said, no trace of emotion in his voice.

“I’m afraid not,” Rossi confirmed.

Hotch fixed his eyes on Rossi again, pushing himself up so he was sitting against the wall. He looked like he was staring at a ghost, trying to figure where the projector was. “When did you get so old?” he said, reaching out a hand to Rossi’s face and poking at it.

Rossi grabbed the offending hand and clasped it between both of his. “Careful. You’re no spring chicken yourself,” he joked.

“No,” said Hotch, still expressionless. “Peter Lewis is dead. This isn’t my life anymore. He’s dead. They told me he died. I saw photos of the body.”

Spencer didn’t know that, but judging by Rossi’s lack of surprise, he pieced together that the older man had likely made sure the witness protection people had passed the photos along.

“Scratch is dead,” Rossi confirmed. “Whoever did this, it’s not him.”

“This. Isn’t. Real,” Hotch insisted, the first sign of emotion entering his voice in the form of hysteria as he pulled his hand away from Rossi and scrambled to his feet. “All of you stay away from me!” he yelled, looking at each of them in turn.

JJ grabbed onto Spencer’s arm. He flinched at first, then put an arm around her and gave what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. Derek took a step towards Hotch, but Emily held him back.

Hotch backed into the corner, looking at them like a caged animal. They were all caged animals now, Spencer supposed. An unfortunately familiar role.

“Hotch,” Spencer said, surprising himself by speaking. They all turned to look at him. He couldn’t back away now. “This is real. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, but Penelope and the rest of our team aren’t here, which means they are out there looking for us. I know it doesn’t feel real. We have all been drugged and you are probably still feeling the effects. I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t real, but it is,” Spencer said kindly but emphatically.

“We’ll get out of this together,” said Emily. “It’s going to be okay.”

Hotch’s eyes were looking just a little clearer.

“Listen man, I know what you’re feeling. I got out, too, remember? I have a family and I don’t know if they’re alright. I’m right here with you. We’re all on your side. Do you believe me?” asked Derek, and this time Emily let him take a step forward.

 Hotch looked around at all of them again. He assessed them carefully. Then, he turned to the corner, putting his back to them and his hand over his face. It was the closest thing he could get to privacy and Spencer was suddenly grateful to have woken up first to process all of this without being watched.

Well, except for the camera.

They all looked at the floor and did their best to give Hotch space. It was almost a full minute before he finally tuned back around.

There was that stoic expression that Spencer remembered. All that youth and peace was gone from his face in an instant. Spencer hoped so badly that it wasn’t gone for good.

“What do we know?” asked Hotch, crossing his arms.

A moment of silence passed and Spencer wondered if the rest of them felt their hearts breaking into pieces at this cruel facsimile of a reunion.

“Why don’t we start with the last thing each of us remembers?” said Emily, stepping up beside Hotch and looking back at the rest of the room, two natural leaders doing what they do best.

Each of them recounted the details they knew before they woke up in this room.

They had been going about their lives, nothing special. The only common thread they could find was that each of them was alone when their memories stopped.

Derek had been at a picnic with his family and the last thing he remembered was leaving to use the park bathroom. Emily on her way back from the gym. JJ heading out to get groceries. Rossi walking home late from a bar.

“I was driving to work,” said Hotch shortly.

“We’re going to need more detail than that if we want to put together a timeline,” prompted Rossi. "Where do you work?"

Hotch pursed his lips. Spencer could see him strategizing in his head. He wasn’t back in their lives by choice. Spencer understood.

He didn’t get it back when Gideon left, but he got it now. Once you let people in the door, it can be impossible to fully extricate them. Hotch’s old life was filled with trauma he was trying to leave behind and the team were living representations of that past. Spencer couldn’t bring himself to be hurt by the other man’s reticence.

“A legal consultancy in a small town in Kentucky,” he said reluctantly, like divulging the smallest part of his personal life meant inviting the entire FBI right back into it.

“That’s an 8 hour drive,” said Derek. “No wonder you were so out of it compared to the rest of us. You must have been dosed multiple times to keep you under that long.”

“I think you’re right,” he said. “I’m still a bit foggy, if I’m being honest,” he admitted quietly. “What about you, Reid?”

Spencer blinked. “I feel fine.”

“No, I mean what’s the last thing you remember?”

Oh. Right. “I went to sleep in my apartment, then I woke up here,” he said honestly. It wasn’t important what he was doing before he went to sleep.

“Since we can be fairly confident whoever this is took Hotch first,” said Emily, “That probably means they got to you last, Spence. They hit all of us in one day. They must have known the BAU had a day off after closing the last case. They would have had to hit us quick to avoid raising alarms.”

“And the fact that we were all grabbed at different times indicates we’re likely dealing with a single Unsub. Someone highly organized and familiar with each of our routines.”

“The Unsub must have been planning this for a long time. Finding someone in witness protection, especially a former profiler, would take an incredible amount of skill or resources,” said Spence. “They stalked us, learned our routines, then used blitz attacks to stop us from being able to fight back.”

It didn’t take long for them to get into the flow. He felt his panic slipping away as his brain shifted into work mode. At some point they all went from standing to sitting in a circle on the floor.

It felt ridiculous to think about, but Spencer couldn't help but be mildly self conscious being the only one of them in his pajamas, as he was taken in his sleep. He was just glad it was a cold night so he'd been wearing nice, full length ones and not boxers and a shirt or something to that affect. Derek, Emily and JJ were all dressed in comfortable day wear. Rossi and Hotch in suits. Hotch was interesting, though. Spencer had rarely seen him outside of a crisp black suit characteristic of an FBI agent. The one he wore now was navy with a striped tie. It looked good on him.

They put together a more detailed timeline and looked back on the past few months of their lives to discuss anything that could have possibly been out of the ordinary.

The more they talked, the less cagey Hotch was about his life. It was strange to learn more about the day to day he had been living in the years since they’d seen him.

None of them talked about their kids or partners beyond a simple acknowledgement of their existence. They were all acutely aware of the camera on the roof. Whoever was doing this didn’t need to know any more about their families than they already did.

Their phones had been taken and none of them had anything to write with, so they were relying on Spencer to catalogue and compile the information in his brain. He did just that, and after a couple hours they had what was likely a fairly reliable timeline, including geographical information.

Whoever was doing this, they were extremely organized, meticulous, and quick. Not one of them saw it coming. None of them could point to any strange interactions they had over the past months, any red flags, any signs of being followed.

When it came time for Spencer to recount the details of the last months of his life, the others stared at him intently. “I haven’t seen you in person in months,” said Derek. “You don’t look so great, pretty boy.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but the bunker we’re currently locked in isn’t making the rest of you look at your healthiest, either.”

“You know what I mean,” said Derek with an affectionate eyeroll.

“You know I was doing some classified work for the bureau. That’s why I couldn’t be there for what happened with Voit,” he said with an apologetic look to Rossi, who waved his hand dismissively. They had already been over this when Spencer first got back. He noticed Hotch raise a curious eyebrow. “I can’t talk about the work since we’re currently being recorded,” he said, nodding up at the camera. “Emily knows the details. It was nothing bad, just research that kept me out off the grid for a while. But if the Unsub could find Hotch in witness protection, then it’s possible they could have been tailing me for that long.”

“That finished months ago,” pointed out Emily. “What have you been doing while you’re on sabbatical?”

“A few guest lecture series at Virginia Tech and spending time with my mom, mostly. I just needed a break. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I guess I’ve been a bit distracted. I haven’t seen or experienced anything unusual, though.”

“I hope your mom’s doing okay,” said JJ comfortingly, prompting the rest of them to nod sympathetically.

He just nodded back. She was doing fine, honestly, not that he’d been visiting as often as he should. Easier to let them assume she was the reason he had been absent.

“Why are you doing this?” said Hotch, standing up and looking directly at the camera once they realized none of them had any more details to share at this point. “What do you want from us? Tell us what it is and maybe we can give it to you.”

The camera blinked its red light at them, showing no care for their presence.

Hotch sighed. He looked down at them all helplessly. His eyes stopped short on Derek. He knelt down, staring at something on the side of his head. “What?” asked Derek, leaning away in concern at Hotch’s suddenly very close face.

“Hold still,” said Hotch. He waved Emily over, who shuffled round to his side. “Right… there,” he said, hovering a finger just behind Derek’s ear.

Her eyes widened. Hotch looked at her questioningly, then turned his own head and tucked his hair away so that she could see behind his ear.

“You have it too,” she said. She did the same as him and he checked her over. They looked at each other again and he nodded.

They all stared at them expectantly, though Spencer was pretty sure he knew what they were seeing.

“Puncture marks at the top of the neck, just behind the ear,” Emily explained. “That’s where we were injected.”

Spencer, Rossi and JJ all checked each other. Sure enough, same thing.

“That means we were likely attacked from behind,” said Derek.

“Do we know what we were drugged with?” said Hotch, shooting an almost imperceptible glance in Spencer’s direction.

His skin crawled at the way none of them wanted to look at him, to just come right out and say it. He didn’t particularly want to talk about it. Not really. But they always acted like the subject was poison and it made him feel like he had to walk on eggshells too. Like the reality of his life was harder for them to hear than it was for him to live.

“I am fairly confident it was some kind of opioid,” he said, careful to keep the irritation out of his voice.

JJ put her hand on his and he felt the irritation dissipate.

They cared about him. He knew that. It’s not as if they were wrong to worry. They had talked about it a little over the years, but not enough that it had stopped being awkward every time it came up.

“Are you certain?” asked Rossi. “Could have been a tranquilizer.”

“I’m certain,” said Spencer. “Trust me, I know the feeling.”

Derek reached a foot across the circle and bumped it against Spencer’s knee in a supportive gesture, like saying ‘I’m here with you.’ Emily smiled at him softly, reassuringly.

“It could have been cut with something,” pointed out Hotch.

“The totality of the blackout indicates it may have been cut with a sedative of some kind, as a high enough dose of opioids to include that kind of memory loss reliably could be unsafe and none of us are suffering significant enough side effects to indicate that’s the case. Whoever did this knew exactly what dosage to use,” he explained. “But… I am quite sure it was predominantly an opioid.”

Of course he was sure.

“Jesus,” said JJ. “I’m sorry, Spence.”

“I don’t believe in fate but the universe does seem to have a strange way of conspiring to get you high,” deadpanned Emily.

Derek shot her a harsh look, but Spencer cracked a smile. “I think ‘an Unsub made me do it’ is going to start sounding like ‘a dog ate my homework’ to my sponsor,” he joked back, relief washing over him that they weren’t going to dance around it the entire time they were in here. Not that he’d spoken to his sponsor in more than a year. They didn’t need to know that.

The others smiled too. “You’ll be alright, kid,” said Rossi. “If you kept it together after Mexico, you’ll get through this.”

That would have been a comforting statement if not for the fact that it was completely false. It didn’t matter anyway. Penelope and the rest of the team would find them and get them out before any of this became an issue.

Or they wouldn’t. But he couldn’t think about that yet.

A crease sat deep between Hotch’s eyebrows. “Mexico?”

“You don’t know?” said Emily. “I just assumed you were across everything to do with the Scratch case.”

“No,” said Hotch. “I accepted proof of his death and told the liaison I didn’t want to know anything else.”

“It’s complicated,” said Rossi. “There were other players involved, but the short version is Reid was drugged and framed for murder. It wasn’t pretty.”

“We don’t need to go into the details,” said Spencer, oddly embarrassed at the idea of Hotch knowing just how prone to being victimized he apparently still is. He knew it wasn’t rational, given the things that had happened to Hotch and the fact that all of them were in this locked room as victims together.

Hotch looked at him. Spencer couldn’t read his expression at all. Eventually he just nodded and let it drop.

Before any of them could say another word, there was a banging at the door. The hatch on the other side of the door chamber opened.

Derek got to the door first, trying to rip the hatch on their side open. He shouted at the door “What do you want?! Talk to me! Just tell us what you want!”

There was no response.

The only thing they could see was a hand covered in a thick leather glove sliding a piece of paper in. It was a smaller hand than expected.

He continued pulling but the panel didn’t budge until the other one had closed completely. Derek stumbled backwards as the panel suddenly released.

“It’s soundproof,” Spencer said, despairing. “There was no sound of footsteps on the other side.”

Emily grabbed the note from the chamber. They all whipped around to watch her as she read the words aloud.

“Hello, old friends,” she started, all of them frozen in place and hanging off her every word. “I know you are wondering why you are here. It is simple. You dragged my secrets into the light and then put me in a cage. At first I wanted to get revenge. Then I watched you for a long time and I learned all about you and I learned that we are the same. I saw how you are suffering. How you are scared. All hiding. I remember when I had to hide. For so long I hid even from myself. Now, because of you, I am free. Even when I was in a cage, I was free, because I had no secrets anymore.

I want to give you the freedom you gave to me. Soon, you will not have secrets. You will see that in this room you cannot hide and that when there is nothing left to hide, you will be free.”

Emily looked up from the letter, meeting all of their eyes in turn. There was a painful lump in Spencer’s throat.

If he was being honest with himself, he knew it as soon as he woke up in this room and saw them all there. He knew they weren’t going to make it out in time. He knew the Unsub must have watched him closely enough to know what was going on with him. He knew he wasn’t making it out of this without all of them seeing him for exactly who he is.

Now, he thought, might be the time to fall apart.

[tophatcats]

huevember '24 day 2 - al jeanne

brush testing (digital oil painting set). Pose reference by @adorkastock

[ID: A digital painting with a mostly yellow color scheme for huevember. The piece features Fumi from the visual novel Jack Jeanne with a focused expression as he dances. His back is towards us, and we catch his face in profile as he moves with his arms extended. The piece is done with brushes mimicking oil paints.]

[ashwoods-21]

You know what I’m here for, I need more Jay descendants fics recommendations. Using JJ maybank and imagine him as Jay isn’t working anymore.

Yes I got into outer banks just because I felt similarity between JJ and Jay.

[drawthething]

While we're at it with Tina's EFFs, let me just grab these funny burgers comic panels real quick

Context? What context? You don't need context

[beerecordings]

someone tell that anon who loves the Graceling AU that I'm cooking four courses and dessert for them rn

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

anytime a fic is JJ pov and he never says 'Eh' i shake my head

[yellowlaboratory]

obx + parallel plot lines

hello and welcome to my Annie Brain Rots On Main post. I hope this is a series of only one (1) post but the next few months before obx s3 are gonna be long so who knows how many think pieces you’ll have to endure. 

anyway, last night, somewhere in between simultaneous breakdowns with @falseungodlyhours and @alphinias, I started thinking more about s3’s arc and what conclusions we can draw from s1 and s2. stick with me as I word vomit through my theory (also be warned that i mention some bts spoilers for s3 in here)

s1 is John B centric. I know that he is still the main character even in s2, but s2 does not revolve around him in the same way s1 does. the main storyline in s1 is the Pogues rallying around John B to help him through a conflict that involves his family (I’m wording this weirdly to keep it general because it’s going to be a recurring theme lmao). the conflict revolves around his dad being lost at sea, and most of the main characters are tied up in this conflict whether they are trying to help John B (the Pogues, Sarah) or trying to hinder his search (Ward). and, on top of that, last night i got to thinking how much of John B’s story paralleled his father’s. 

first off, it only takes an episode for the show to establish that John B is on the search for his dad, but none of the Pogues really believe he’ll find him. Kiara is the only one who even pretends to play into it, but it’s clearly something she’s only doing out of guilt and she believes that Big John is most likely dead. So - John B is on the search for something, and the people closest to him don’t believe he’ll find it. Big John is on the search for the gold, and John B doesn’t believe he’ll find it. you see what I’m saying? by some miracle and against all odds, both Rutledge men find something, but not exactly what they were looking for. Big John finds the Royal Merchant, but not the gold. John B finds the gold, but not his father. then, immediately after their big discoveries, both of them are nearly killed by Ward Cameron. The ensuing events are actually almost exactly the same: following the confrontation with Ward, they both very nearly die, get lost at sea, are declared dead, but actually survive and escape to a Caribbean island. AND THEN, despite being alive, neither of them let their loved ones know right away. Big John takes far longer to get in contact, but even John B waits to contact the pogues for a month a day ? how does time work in the obx a while.  there are probably more parallels I’m missing but the point is John B’s storyline paralleled his dad. 

then, we end up in s2, and the driving force in s2 is Pope. with their backs against the wall and shit on the line, the Pogues rally around Pope to help him through a conflict that involves his family (see what I said about recurring theme. i promise i’m only kind of crazy.) Pope’s conflict has to do with Denmark Tanny, and protecting his legacy. once again, most of the main characters in s2 are entangled in this conflict, with the Pogues helping Pope, and Limbrey, Renfield, and Rafe trying to stop him. and, once again, there are parallels between Pope and Denmark’s storylines. 

first and foremost, the central antagonist in both Denmark and Pope’s storyline is a Limbrey. Captain Limbrey is the slave holder who won’t free Denmark’s wife and daughter, and Carla Limbrey is trying to steal the treasure that belongs to Pope’s family. The Limbreys are both categorized by their greed, their wrath, and their willingness to do anything to get what they want. In the immortal words of Kiara Carrera, “it was a Limbrey stealing shit again.” In both cases, Denmark and Pope are out for something much more important than money – Pope’s mee-maw sums it up pretty well when she says “family is all we got” and that is exactly what drives both Denmark and Pope’s actions, whether they are trying to reunite their family or avenge their legacy. more so than this, both Pope and Denmark see the gold cross as a symbol of freedom. I mean, Denmark literally builds it into the walls of Freedman’s Church, and as Pope gets ready to take the cross back on the Coastal Venture, he says “the time where people do shit to us and we just sit back and take it is over.” once again, I’m probably missing so many parallels, but you get the gist.

so, in summary, whether it is intentional or not (and isn’t that always the question with the boat show lmao), a pattern has begun to develop. even though there is a shit ton of stuff going down each season, there are two major factors that define and drive the story: 

a family-centered conflict that one of the Pogues faces while the other Pogues rally around them

the parallels that exist between said Pogue and members of their family

if this pattern actually exists and i’m not just talking out of my ass, that means there are three possible driving forces for s3 – either JJ, Kiara, or Sarah. (side note: I don’t think we’ve had enough time for Cleo to be the center point of the season-wide conflict yet, but with more seasons, I think we’ll get there)

Sarah’s familial conflict feels different than the rest of the Pogues, and I don’t think it could be the center point of a single season as it currently stands. conflict with Ward is a theme for the entire show, and rededicating a season arc to it when it’s already a series-wide arc doesn’t seem plausible to me. on top of that, I don’t really think we’ll be seeing the same kinds of parallels between Sarah and Ward that we’ve seen between John B/Big John and Denmark/Pope. I think a Sarah-centric season would be REALLY interesting if we ever find out what happened to her mother, and if we see the parallels between Sarah’s conflict with Ward and her mother’s conflict with Ward (i’m assuming there’s conflict there because …. well, of course there was. it’s ward.) Unfortunately, due to what I know from bts and casting calls, I don’t think we’re meeting Sarah’s mother yet, and I don’t think an exploration of that conflict is going to happen in s3. 

similarly, I don’t think it’s JJ’s season quite yet. another little bts spoiler, but we’ll likely only see Luke in the very last episode, and as much as I hate him with every fiber of my being, he’s a major part of JJ’s characterization. I truly believe that we can’t get a well-rounded JJ-centric season without tying up the loose ends with Luke, and the send-off scene in s2 was never going to be enough. The single episode we’ll likely see him in during s3 is also not going to be enough to wrap everything up, and it’s sure as hell not going to be enough to drive the whole season (unless Luke actually comes back earlier, or JJ’s mom makes a reappearance but, once again, based on the stuff I’ve seen, I don’t think that will be the case in s3). 

So, that leaves Kiara. Between her parents cracking down on her even harder, the threat of Blue Ridge hanging over her, and the fact that she ended the season by undermining her parents to sneak out and go missing for an undetermined amount of time, I think Kiara is perfectly set up to be the center point of the conflict for s3 - and the bts i have seen and some of the casting calls all seem to line up with the theory of a Kiara-centric Season 3

coming right back from Poguelandia, I don’t think Kiara’s parents will threaten to send her to Blue Ridge right away (or at least i hope they won’t akdjfhas I know I have some misguided faith in them), but I’m kind of thinking there might be a time jump, and I wouldn’t put it past the Carreras to threaten Blue Ridge a few weeks/months after getting Kiara back. While there’s a non-zero chance the Pates might introduce a third (literal) pot of gold that somehow relates to the Carrera family fortune, I’m actively hoping, wishing, and praying against it. So, the option most likely to maintain my sanity for the next few months is the central conflict of the season revolving around Kiara and her parents. This is what the Pogues could rally around – keeping Kiara from Blue Ridge. That leaves the question, who could Kiara parallel in her s3 arc? 

Enter Anna Carrera. 

Anna would be in the unique place of being both the antagonist and the foil to Kiara’s story, but it seems like the most logical choice. There’s already a built-in parallel there – a Kook girl running around with Pogues? we’ve heard this one before. Taking this even further, we know that Anna fell in love with a Pogue, chose him over her family, and risked her entire future for him. She might not act like it now, but a few years back, Anna was in the same exact position as her daughter. Since we know s3 is going to explore Jiara (thank you Josh Pate for confirming that so early on and quelling the insanity of my mind for at least a little bit), isn’t that the perfect way to create a parallel? 

then, with Luke coming back into the picture late in s3, we have the opportunity for a JJ-centric s4. 

anyway. let me lose my mind over this for the next few months. 

[thehauntingofbasingse]

finally made it to Emily Prentiss’ first episode on criminal minds 🥹🙃 the binging will be worse from here on out

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

I just watched hit/run which means what? correct, I am not ok

[navree]

criminal minds rewatch has been kinda annoying cuz i don't really care for the first half of season 5 (boss morgan arc my nemesis) but i've arrived at risky business, aka one of the best episodes of this show in its entirety, so now i'm back to being super on board (and very jotch pilled, as happens to me at least once a year)

[bestfriendsincethe3rdgrade]

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Outer Banks (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pope & Mrs. Heyward, Kiara & Anna (Outer Banks), JJ & Luke Maybank, JJ & JJ's Mother (Outer Banks), John "Big John" Routledge & John B. Routledge Characters: Pope Heyward, Mrs Heyward (Outer Banks), Heyward (Outer Banks), Kiara "Kie" Carrera, Kiara's Parents (Outer Banks), JJ Maybank, JJ's Mother (Outer Banks), Luke Maybank, John B. Routledge, John "Big John" Routledge Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Fluff, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Mother's Day, Mother-Son Relationship, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Character Study, Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Baby Pogues, teen pogues, not the happiest of endings tbh, good parents, and not so good :(, Mommy Issues Series: Part 2 of OBX Character Studies Summary:

What Mother's Day looks like for each of the Pogues.

[strawbeerossi]

August || Chapter Five

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid, fem!reader x Emily Prentiss 

Description: After a conversation with Emily, Spencer drowns in a sea of regret and guilt. That’s when JJ gives him a harsh reality check.

Content/Warnings: Spencer/JJ centric chapter, friendships are threatened, drama, emissions of guilt, regret, Spencer thinks of you and Emily to a deep degree, a break up ensues, one use of Y/N. 

WC: 2.1K

Y'all know the drill. 450 notes for next part!

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The sound of the ceramic shattering on the ground had you looking at the floor first, the overly sugary coffee surely going to make the floor sticky and give everyone’s shoes that annoying sound of them getting stuck to the ground.

“That’s going to be a pain to clean up.” Was all Emily could say, unphased by his reaction. Truth be told, he had no reason to react the way he did. He had made his bed the moment he got with JJ, losing every chance that he had with you. “Pick up the pieces, don’t need anyone getting hurt.” She added.

“So this is what you two do whenever you're supposed to be working? Not very professional.” Spencer huffed, kneeling down to pick up the remains of the navy blue coffee cup, his head shaking. 

“Everyone is entitled to a lunch break for an hour every workday. What anyone else does outside of this office is absolutely none of your business.” The unit chief countered back while she was heading over to the bullpen doors. “When you’re finished, come to my office. We need to talk.” 

You were looking between Spencer and Emily, hands pushed into your pockets while the both of them had their little back and forth. “Can we all just calm it down? There’s no need for any more drama than this team already has.” The voice of reason. How fitting.

“I am calm. I just find it shocking that you’re kissing our boss in the elevator.” He commented, the shards rested in the palm of his hand as he pushed himself to stand up straight.

“You have no right to be mad and you know that.” You countered, deciding against furthering the argument as you approached the doors to the bullpen. How dare he act angry at you after what he did. He had no logical reasoning to act like a child over your decisions.

You knew that this was him lashing out, showing that deep down, he really is bothered and has noticed what he lost out on. That could’ve been you and him kissing in the elevator instead of you and Emily, the both of you could be going out to lunch together�� He knew where he went wrong and this was going to haunt him. 

Spencer was always dramatic in that way, needing to see just what he lost before it was hitting him like a freight train. It was something he did with JJ, then he got with her and things haven’t exactly been smooth sailing in the department of their relationship.

He felt immense guilt, especially whenever JJ and Will had to make plans for the boys to visit with her. She should’ve been home with her children, not with him. Although it was seemingly too late, he highly doubted Will would take JJ back. 

He made it known on several occasions that she made her bed and she had to lie in it, to suffer from the loss of a loving marriage. In a way, it made Spencer feel dirty. What would Henry think of his beloved uncle when he got older? What would Michael think? In their story, as well as yours, Spencer was the bad guy. 

Those thoughts were in his mind all day after that. Even whenever being scolded by Emily, he just wasn’t present in the conversation. All he could think about was how happy you seemed with her, the way you looked at her. It made him feel nauseous. 

He knew Emily would take care of you at the end of the day but all he could do is think about what he lost. Emily was the lucky one, the one who didn’t break your heart into a million pieces. She got to hold you, to kiss you, to bask in your love and presence. 

His mind wandered farther, the idea of you two being intimate together. The idea made jealousy tug at his heart. She would be the one to worship you, to bring a rush of euphoria over you so strong that you wouldn’t dare think about another person in the same manner. 

It made him irrationally angry, upset at Emily because she was lucky enough to step in to the relationship that should’ve been shared between you and him. 

“Are you even listening?” Emily’s voice made Spencer look over at her, his eyes searching her features. She was angry at him, the comments he made earlier being the driving force behind it. He understood why, however this talk was unnecessary. 

“Yes. I’m listening. I just think this is all a waste of my time and yours. I’m sorry for making the comments I made but you have to admit, you are our boss at the end of the day. If you can’t handle what I have to say, imagine hearing what other people will say.” He stated. 

“I can guarantee you that nobody would care as much as you do. There will have to be a tedious paperwork process done for this to continue, but I don’t mind it.” It was a wonder how Emily kept her composure despite Spencer’s shitty attitude. “I am just asking you to stop with the comments and quite honestly, you need to grow up. The Spencer that I know would be happy for his coworkers who are also his friends. He wouldn’t be throwing a hissy fit over jealousy.”

“Look. I am happy for you, for her. I’m not jealous either.” Debatable. He didn’t care to admit things like that. “I just don’t like how I didn't know. She used to tell me everything!” 

“And then you ruined that for yourself. You know that I love you but you’re acting foolish. I don’t want to constantly have battles between us, alright? Just take this time to reflect and realize what you did wrong and then let all of that built up anger go. Now, go and wash your face. Get your shit together.” 

That was the end of the conversation, the male slowly pushing himself to stand before making a slow retreat from the office. Washing his face was good, would clear his head, settle his nerves.. So, he made a b-line straight for the men’s washroom. Although unbeknownst to him, JJ was hurrying out of the bullpen right behind him.

“What happened in there?” She made her presence known as she grabbed Spencer’s arm, startling him in the process. “What are you trying to pull now?”

“Trying to pull? Are you serious? Emily wanted to have a private discussion with me. I suggest you mind your own business, Jennifer.” He spat, the built up aggression causing him to breathe heavier thn usual, his face red. He needed to get to the bathroom now. 

“Woah, hold on. You think you are allowed to get rude with me because you don’t know how to leave things alone? Spencer, don’t be ridiculous.” She began although the male’s hands were raised in self defense as he looked in her direction. He had no time for this.

“I know how to leave things alone. I’ve proved that enough these past few weeks. You just don’t like that all the attention isn’t on you for once. Nobody really cares what you have to say in regards to this situation. I don’t care. You don’t like the way I carry myself and that is your problem. I can’t change myself just to make you approve.” 

“Are you crazy? I’m just telling you to leave them alone.”

“Yeah, well how about you leave me alone?” He spat, now turning on his heel to get to the bathroom. He knew taking out his anger on JJ wasn’t fair but she just always poked and prodded at him. He hated that. 

As he made it to the bathroom, he was staring at his reflection, the man in the mirror being someone who he could barely recognize. The old Spencer would’ve never taken things this far. He would’ve been too afraid of backlash, would’ve pulled away entirely once he saw the hectic nature of what his decisions could unleash.. 

With the sink water steadily running, he was leaning down to splash some cold water on his face. He just needed to calm down, to think through this situation and what his options were. His brain was amazing with conjuring up ideas and theories, although it was like as of late, he was lacking.

“Get your shit together.” Spencer spoke to himself, his eyes closing to avoid looking at himself, at who he became over the years; a man who broke someone’s heart, broke a family, and broke a team dynamic. Hell, he might’ve even broken himself in the process.

The sound of flowing water coupled with his breathing was all he could hear, blocking out the rest of the world as he was bringing himself back down to a more calm and collected state. His decisions have never haunted him like these past few ones have. 

Once calm, his hand was turning off the water, his eyes watching a steady pour slow down to nothing. Alright. He was alright. 

Upon exiting the bathroom, JJ was still there, arms crossed as she was waiting patiently for him to come out. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” She stated, looking up at the man in front of her.

“I don’t want your help. I just- I feel like this isn’t working. I don’t like this relationship or whatever we have anymore. I can’t keep up with it, I just can’t.” He blurted out, heart beating like a drum in his chest, threatening to burst out of his chest cavity.

A tense silence came over them as JJ pursed her lips together. “After I left my husband to try and make this work?” She asked, not giving the man time to answer as she took in a breath. “Fine. Maybe you’re right. You can’t do this anymore. Because now you’ve realized the weight of your decisions. I always wanted you to reflect and realize what you did wrong, to take accountability. I just didn’t expect it to lead to this.”

“I just can’t do it. I can’t look at Henry or Michael without feeling immense guilt. I broke up the dynamic they were used to, at least contributed to it. We’ve both lost important things to us. The only difference is, you’re lucky enough to have your children. You could salvage a cordial relationship with Will. I’ve lost everything.” 

“You’re unbelievable!” The blonde stared at the taller male in disbelief. “You are throwing a pity party for yourself because suddenly you feel the need to be jealous over what Emily has? After this whole experience, I can tell you that Y/N is much better off with her than she is with you.”

The ugly truth that hit Spencer harder than a train derailed from the tracks.

“I have to agree that this needs to end. You also need to leave those two alone. If anything, take my advice on that. Let them live. Let them be happy.” She frowned while bringing her hands up to tiredly rub at her face. “She doesn’t love you and you need to realize that.”

Those words stuck with Spencer, even whenever he made it to his apartment later that night. He was pacing around his living room, arms over his chest, as he really had time to think about everything. The silence never did him any favors, but he couldn’t even ignore his thoughts with a book like he usually could. He tried. 

Every conclusion that he conjured up was the same; he needed to leave you alone. Not that easy, though. You knew him better than the others did. You two talked and shared a lot in the time frame of knowing each other.

He got a horrible idea, one that he knew he shouldn’t have had, but it was an idea. 

With his hand digging into his pocket, he was eventually retrieving his phone, getting into it before getting to his contact list.

There wasn’t much scrolling that had to be done, eventually finding a familiar name. Your name. He was silently outweighing his options. You could answer, you could block him, or you could flat out ignore him.

So, throwing caution to the wind, he hit call, slowly sitting in the middle of the floor as he patiently waited for an answer.

[hoe4hotchner]

What He Left Behind | [E.P]

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x gn!reader CW: abandoment issues, daddy issues, big emotions, smoking, r is a little rude to em, angst but with comfort in the end. WC: 2.4k

This is still very Hotch centric, it wouldn't be me if it wasn't ;)

           The air in the BAU headquarters was thick with tension, the recent ordeal with Mr. Scratch still casting a large cloud over the team. Every desk seemed untouched, paperwork scattered but stagnant, as if the entire office had been holding its breath since the case closed. The familiar hum of conversation was reduced to murmurs, eyes glancing over at one another, silently acknowledging the looming unease.

           Rossi had summoned everyone into the conference room with a somber expression that spoke volumes to all of you. You knew something was about to happen. Everyone did. After everything you’d all endured, there was an unspoken dread in the air, the kind of weight that settled deep in your bones. You weren’t sure you had the energy for whatever news was coming, but there was no avoiding it.

           You sank into your usual seat at the table, the exhaustion wrapping around you like a heavy blanket. Spencer slid into the seat next to you, his fingers twitching restlessly, tapping an uneven rhythm on the smooth surface. Derek leaned back, his arms crossed, jaw set in anticipation, while JJ sat directly across from you, her brows drawn together in quiet worry. And then there was Emily, standing at the head of the table, her posture rigid, though her eyes flickered with something you couldn’t quite place - concern, maybe, or apprehension.

           The sound of Rossi entering the room broke the stillness. He moved deliberately, placing a thick, worn file onto the table with a thud that echoed like the ticking of a clock. His eyes traveled around the room, pausing briefly on each of you as if preparing for the blow he was about to deliver.

           "Hotch isn’t coming back," Rossi began, his voice was low but unwavering, each word landing like a hammer. "He’s decided to stay out of the field for good. His priority is Jack now, he wants to keep his family safe."

           The impact of his words hit you square in the chest, knocking the wind out of you. The room shifted almost imperceptibly, the tension coiling tighter in your stomach. You stopped paying attention to the words coming from Rossi's mouth, only noticing the movement of his mouth. You had known this was coming - felt it in your gut for weeks now - but hearing it spoken aloud made it real in a way that cut deeper than you were ready for. Hotch had been the anchor of the team, the steady hand guiding everyone through the storm. And now… now he was gone. A gap that couldn’t be filled.

           "As a result," Rossi continued, turning his gaze toward Emily, "Prentiss will be taking over as Unit Chief, effective immediately."

           There was no surprise in Emily’s eyes - she had clearly anticipated this moment, if not known about it longer than the rest of the team - but you could see the weight of the responsibility settling over her like a mantle. She nodded slightly, stepping forward. "Thank you, Rossi. I know this is a huge change for all of us, but I’ll do everything in my power to lead this team as great as Hotch did."

           Her voice was steady, the right kind of confidence to reassure the team, but the finality of it all made your heart sink. The person you had always relied on, the father figure who had been there through your darkest moments, wasn’t coming back. And that realization… it stung more than you’d expected.

           You felt your chest tighten, the weight of the news pressing down harder. The walls of the room seemed to inch closer, and the air felt suffocating. You needed to escape, even if just for a moment.

           Emily’s eyes found yours from across the room, her gaze softening as she noticed the change in your expression. She opened her mouth as if to say something, a question, or maybe a word of comfort, but you couldn’t bear to hear it.

           "I - I’m sorry," you muttered under your breath, standing abruptly. "I just… need a minute."

           Before anyone could respond, you were already out of your seat, your legs carrying you toward the door in a rush. You could feel Emily’s eyes on your back as you hurried out, the sound of the door clicking shut behind you leaving the room in a stunned silence.

           The cold, biting wind greeted you as you pushed open the door to the roof of the FBI Academy building. It wasn’t the first place you would usually go to clear your head, but tonight it felt like the only place to escape. The sounds of the world below - the bustle of cars, distant conversations, the faint hum of life - seemed far away, drowned out by the heavy silence in your chest. You reached into your pocket and pulled out a nearly forgotten pack of cigarettes, the cellophane crinkling under your fingers. You weren’t a smoker - never had been - but the weight of the job sometimes craved for you to search for something dopamine inducing. The weight of this day, of Hotch's absence, had pushed you to search for some sort of release.

           With shaky hands, you flicked the lighter, the flame catching after a few attempts. The soft click of the lighter closing was swallowed by the wind as you brought the cigarette to your lips. The bitterness of the smoke filled your lungs, foreign and sharp, but the burn was grounding. You exhaled slowly, watching the thin line of smoke drift into the dark sky, curling and twisting as if it could carry your pain away.

           But the ache in your chest remained, deepening with every thought of him. Hotch wasn’t coming back. No matter how many times you'd heard the echo of Rossi's voice replaying in your head, the words echoed like a cruel reminder of what you had lost. He was safe and alive, but that knowledge didn’t stop the hollow feeling gnawing at you. He had been more than a boss to you - he was the father you'd never had, guiding you through the chaos of the job, offering stability when everything else was falling apart. You trusted him, relied on him, and now he had chosen not to return.

           The cigarette trembled between your fingers as memories of him flooded your mind. The quiet, reassuring conversations, his steady presence in the bullpen, the way he always seemed to know when you needed guidance or a hug without asking for it. You had counted on him, believed he would always be there. But now… now it felt like he had left you behind, and it hurt in a way you hadn’t expected.

           You took another slow drag, the bitter smoke swirling in your lungs as the hurt twisted deeper. The sense of abandonment stung, cutting through your composure, leaving you raw and exposed. You had always told yourself that you could handle anything, that you were strong enough to face the toughest moments. But this - being left behind by the person you trusted the most - felt like too much. Too final.

           Your gaze drifted over the dark cityscape, the lights of Washington D.C. blinking somewhere in the distance like stars that felt too far out of reach. The cigarette burned low between your fingers, the warmth of it a sharp contrast to the cold, but even that small comfort felt fleeting. You stared at the wisps of smoke rising into the air, wishing, just for a moment, that it could take your pain with it, leaving you free from the weight pressing down on your heart.

           The door to the rooftop swung open with a loud creak, cutting through the air, and you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. The sharp, deliberate clack of Emily's boots echoed across the concrete, each step heavier than the last as she approached you. The cool breeze ruffled your hair, carrying with it the faint scent of the nearby trees, but even that couldn’t distract you from the inevitable confrontation coming your way.

           You inhaled deeply, pulling another drag from the cigarette between your fingers. The taste filled your lungs yet again, mixing with the dull ache of betrayal still biting at your heart. You exhaled slowly, watching the smoke swirl and dissolve into the sky as you stared blankly at the horizon.

           "Found you," Emily’s voice was softer than usual, the concern behind it undeniable, yet there was a slight grin to her tone as she tried to lighten the mood. Her steps slowed as she reached your side, the gentle rustle of her coat barely audible over the wind. She tucked her hands into her pockets, her posture relaxed but her gaze heavy on you. "You shouldn’t be up here alone."

           "I’m fine," you replied, your voice clipped and distant. The words were more out of habit than truth. You dropped the cigarette to the ground, grinding it beneath your heel with a sharp twist. The tension between you was palpable, but you refused to acknowledge it. Not now. Not with her.

           Emily lingered for a moment, her eyes searching your face, trying to read the emotions you were so carefully keeping hidden. "No, you’re not. I saw how you reacted in there. You don’t have to pretend, not with me."

           A wave of frustration surged through you at her persistence, but you kept your gaze forward, refusing to meet her eyes. "I’m not pretending, Prentiss." the sound of her name laced with venom.

           The use of her last name caused her to pause, and you could feel her shifting slightly beside you. She wasn’t buying it, but she also wasn’t going to let you off the hook that easily. "You’re upset about Hotch."

           Her words struck a nerve, one you’d been trying desperately to ignore. You turned away from her, clenching your fists as the weight of everything you’d been avoiding pressed down on you. "Don't you dare profile me! Of course, I’m upset. We all are. But it doesn’t change anything."

           "That’s not what I mean, and you know it," Emily said, stepping into your line of sight. She didn’t raise her voice, but the quiet firmness of her tone left no room for evasion. "This is different for you. He was more than just your unit chief."

           You swallowed hard, your jaw tightening as the familiar sting of hurt rose in your throat. "I don’t want to talk about it," you snapped, more harshly than you intended. The words hung in the air between you, sharp and defensive. You took a step back, putting distance between the two of you, your heart pounding in your chest. The pressure inside you was building, emotions you’d been holding down threatening to spill over.

           But Emily didn’t back down. She stood firm, her eyes never leaving yours. "You feel abandoned. Like he’s left you behind."

           "Emily, stop it!" The raw truth in her words shattered what little control you had left. A surge of anger bubbled up inside you, breaking through the cracks of your carefully constructed facade. "Of course, I feel abandoned!" you shouted, your voice trembling with emotion. "He was like… he was like a father to me, Emily. He helped me when no one else did, and now he’s just… gone!"

           You could feel your voice rising, emotions swirling uncontrollably. Your hands shook as you continued, the dam finally breaking. "He’s out there, living his life with Jack, safe and happy, and I get it - I do. But what about us? What about the team? What about me?"

           The tears welled up in your eyes before you could stop them, blurring the world around you. You swallowed hard, trying to push the lump in your throat back down, but the words kept coming, spilling out like water from a broken dam. "He promised he’d always be there, Emily. He said he’d never leave, and now he’s just… not. He left, and it feels like I didn’t matter. Like I wasn’t enough to keep him here."

           Your voice broke, a sob finally escaping as the weight of it all hit you. Hot tears streaked down your face, and your chest heaved with the effort of holding it together. But you couldn’t. Not anymore.

           Before you could fall apart completely, Emily closed the distance between you, wrapping her arms around you in a strong, secure embrace. You stiffened at first, unaccustomed to the sudden closeness, but the moment her hand rested gently at the back of your head, you crumbled. Sobs wracked your body as you buried your face in her shoulder, your fingers clutching at her jacket like a lifeline.

           Emily’s arms tightened around you, holding you close, her steady heartbeat grounding you in the chaos of your emotions. She whispered softly, her voice soothing as she stroked your hair. "It’s okay. Let it out. I’m here. I’ve got you."

           The warmth of her embrace, the steady cadence of her breathing, the soft murmur of her voice - it was everything you hadn’t known you needed. You clung to her, the pain and hurt pouring out in ragged sobs as she held you through it, never letting go.

           After what felt like an eternity, your sobs began to quiet, your body still trembling but no longer overwhelmed. Emily loosened her hold just enough to pull back and look at you, her hand coming up to brush a tear from your cheek. Her eyes were filled with understanding, with care.

           "You didn’t lose him," she whispered, her thumb brushing gently against your cheek. "He didn’t abandon you. Hotch made his choice for Jack, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He cares about all of us. But you’re not alone. I’m here. The team is here. We’re still a family."

           You sniffled, your hands still gripping her jacket as you wiped at your face. "It just hurts, Emily. I don’t know how to… how to do this without him."

           "You don’t have to do it alone," she reassured, her voice soft but steady, unwavering in its promise. "We’ll figure it out together. And I’ll be here every step of the way."

           For the first time since the news broke, you felt a small, fragile flicker of hope. Emily smiled gently, her hand still resting on your shoulder, a silent anchor amidst the storm. You nodded, the weight in your chest lifting, just a little.

           "Come on," she said, her voice lighter now. "Let’s get out of this wind. I'm freezing."

           You allowed her to lead you back toward the stairwell, side by side, the cold wind slowly fading behind you. As you walked, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, things would be okay. You weren’t alone. And with Emily by your side, that felt like enough.