#jiung one chance pls

[ktjislove1119]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) what dating jiung would be like

pairing : (p1h) jiung x male reader

rating : fluff

requested : yes !!! my first request thank u sm <333 i love my jiung sm so this was so fun to write and be compltely delusional

warnings : mention of mlm relationships being mis-perceived (is that a word...)??? idk i kind of incorporated how touchy and high affection relationships between two boys is often times seen as just a close, comfortable friendship instead of a romantic relationship? idk if that warrants a warning but prefacing that in case!!

a/n : okokok personally projecting on this one so bear with me but i feel like these characteristics really fit jiung idk lmk if i cooked or not

wc : 3.0k+

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ heavily into eye contact, wants to always be looking into your eyes and yours into his. there’s something so intimate about it. it makes him feel as if you are the only two people in the world and it often times just makes him feel so giddy and calm, at the same time. like, he’s so smiley whenever you two do lock eyes, gums on display and that charming smile of his so apparent. but also calm in the sense that, you two are only looking at each other, meaning that everything that he loves and cares about is right in front of him and its almost as if all of his worries wash off of his shoulders at that realization.

”i can do it,” jiung offers, anxiously watching as you cut the vegetables as your part of prep for dinner. he’s just nervous about you accidentally cutting your finger or skin, even though you’re a perfectly capable grown man. plus, he likes the idea of spoiling you — even if its small gestures.

”jij, i can do it,” you answer back quickly, forehead crinkled as you focused on your task at hand.

jiung can only sigh, watching from the sides as you continued working. after finishing all of the ingredients that needed to be cut, he gently spun you around and kissed you, “thank you for helping out,” is all you hear before focusing on your charming boyfriend that was so softly kissing you.

he’s smiling into the kiss, pulling away and keeping his hand cupped around your cheek. he’s grinning ear to ear, with what almost seems like sparkles in his eyes. his eyes on locked onto your own, suddenly looking even more enthralling. his lips were quirked into a little smirk as he watched you carefully.

his eyes were wide, waiting for your next move and then they gently closed when he saw that you were leaning in for another kiss.

(i love jiungs eyes theyre so pretty idk the shape of them makes me go so insane) (prettiest eyes in piwon confirmed) (keeho close second-)

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ okay so we all know that choi jiung is not a big touchy feely kind of guy. and that stood to be completely true at the beginning of your relationship. you’d have to be the one to initiate physical affection a lot at the beginning and at times it was kind of intimidating because you obviously knew his preferences. but a guy just needs a hug sometimes, yk so you’d hug him from time to time and he wouldn’t really fight against it. over time, he found himself loving all the touches you guys would share and then he began initiating all of the affections. it took a while for him to get completely comfortable to get to that point, but he’s so thankful that you were so patient and understanding of him.

jiung was on weverse doing a live, but it was only the audio that was being streamed. so you were both comfortable cuddling on his bed, not worried about any fans’ watching since they could only hear his voice. he was laying flat on his back, your head resting on his chest as his hand was going up and down your back. you were mindlessly scrolling on your phone as he was reading through the comments of the live.

“jiung what are you doing now? just laying down — getting ready to sleep,” he answers easily, “im trying to recharge because we were very busy today. first, we had to go to a meeting with the rest of the members, then we had practice which just ended, so now im resting and talking to p1eces,” you can hear his smile as he talks, cuddling closer to his chest and turning off your phone.

he squeezes your shoulder to convince you to sleep, which you don’t argue against.

“did i eat today? i did, i had a big meal because practice was really draining. how about you guys? eating three meals a day is very important, y’know? if you don’t eat three a day, you might get sick,” his natural ability to talk so smoothly about any subject what was made you fall asleep so soundly, his soothing voice being the last thing you heard.

and jiung was very close to ending the live and joining you, but he wanted to give some more time to p1ece since he hadn’t talked to them in so long.

“jiung, is someone snoring? is it one of the other members?” he chuckles at the comment, holding you closer as he answers, “you guys can hear that?” his cute laughter is all that p1ece heard, but in the room he was fondly looking at you, “yeah, someone is sleeping, so we have to be quiet okay?”

the chat is immediately flooded with “okay” and “yes”, making jiung smile even wider.

he talked with them for a little while longer before deciding it was time to end the live, it was getting late and he could feel the exhaustion from the entire day catching up to him. after bidding his chocochips farewell with his signature goodbye, he shut his phone off, plugged it in, and got more comfortable in bed with you.

he shuffled down, holding you tight to his body to hopefully not disrupt your slumber, and sighed in relief to be in a comfortable position. his arm was wrapped around your shoulder, securely holding you to his chest as his other hand was just sprawled over the sheets.

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ is always looking for you and thinking about you. unfortunately with how hectic their schedule is, you don’t always spend a lot of time together during the day time — usually at night is when you’re together. whenever he’s with the members, staff, or anyone, he’s always talking about you (his yapping self-) or he’s thinking about you so much he’s gone nonverbal.

currently, the boys were shooting some stuff for a segment on their own variety show and while the staff around them was getting everything set up, the members were allowed to freely roam around.

“ah, [name] would like something like this,” jiung says excitedly, pointing over to some random item that caught his eyes. he knew that it matched your current aesthetic. so he turned to look at theo who was closely trailing behind him and asked, “do you think i should buy it for him?”

“yah, jiung be more careful speaking out loud like that,” theo lightly scolds, gesturing to all the mics that were around plus the ones they were already wearing.

jiung waved his hand with a smile, “they’re not filming yet,”

theo only sighs, watching as your boyfriend fondly looks at the item, “yeah, buy it for him, i think he’d like it too,”

“right? okay, i’m going really quick — if someone is looking for me i’m at the cashier,”

taeyang nods in understanding, then shaking his head at what a lovesick puppy his friend has turned into.

when shooting for the show began, they only got a couple minutes in before a staff was questioning jiung on what he was holding. the members all looked at him in curiosity, except taeyang, and all of them sighed when he shyly smiled and said, “oh, it’s for [name],”

their manager face palmed at the side, walking over and taking the bag from jiung’s hand right away, “start it over,” the manager briskly orders the filming staff, making everyone sigh in annoyance.

“sorry,” jiung apologizes, but the wide smile on his face shows he’s not all that sorry about his accidental slip up.

his mind just naturally trails off thinking of you, you’re really on his mind 24/7. if he sees something funny on his phone, he’s sending it to you immediately. if he sees something that reminds him of you, he’s taking a picture of it and sending it to you. if anyone mentions anything that could somehow relate to you, jiung is rambling on about your connection to said subject.

the members find it endearing how obviously in love with you he is, but sometimes it does get irritating when every other thing jiung talks about is you. not because it’s you, but because when jiung talks about you — he talks. they mean full blown five-ten minute ramblings about you.

they love your guys relationship and you, it’s just jiung is such an active yapper already, when it’s you it’s as if the yapping increase by a million.

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ knows your preferences like they’re his own. your boyfriend is the most observant man on earth. he can easily tell when something will or will not be to your liking. this comes in handy whenever the members want to give you a gift when they’re abroad (their sweet souls-) or when they’re out at a restaurant and bringing something for you to eat at home. this gift of jiung’s also ensures that the gifts he gives you (read: he loves spoiling you all the time) are perfect and always suit your tastes.

“jiung, what about this? would he like this shirt?” keeho points to something that is hanging on the rack, eyes blown wide, “well, it’s already his favorite color-”

“no, no, he doesn’t like those designs,” jiung says, walking over and acting as your personal stylist with the way he begins to go on an in depth tangent on what your preferences are in clothing, “see, because when it’s shaped like this, he doesn’t like how it frames him. so don’t look at those types of shirts,” jiung hums, walking around the store with keeho trailing behind, “try something like this, this is something he’d definitely wear,”

keeho cheers in accomplishment, even though he didn’t really do anything, and gets to searching. jiung walks on his own, finding souvenirs for both you and him. he smiles whenever he sees something cute, but has to restrain himself from buying every singe little thing that reminds him of you. he misses you a lot…

he pulls out his phone to text you, hitting send just in time before intak is asking him for help too. the man is also looking for gifts for you and knows to consult jiung, obviously. your boyfriend is eager to help, happy to find that his close friends are so considerate of you and your souvenirs from their abroad travels.

whenever the two of you go out, a little thing that jiung does is order for you — now!!! it might sound annoying and unbearable but walk w me. so basically, you and jiung were trying a new restaurant, something that both of you enjoyed since it was a safe option. after looking over the menu for a couple of minutes, you two talk about the variety of food.

“they all look so good, i don’t know which one i should get,” you half-heartedly complain.

jiung’s eyebrows are furrowed as he reads over the menu one more time before turning it to you and pointing at one dish, “this one, i think you’d like this one. it sounds really good too,” he comments, smiling softly at the way your face visibly gets excited at the sight of the food. “i’ll order it for you?”

“yes, thank you, jiung,” you sweetly say, making him chuckle at the tone you were using. he reaches over to hold your hand, rubbing the back of it gently.

“i’m also getting this dish, so we can try each others, if you want,” seeing his selection makes you even more hungry, thinking about how you were going to be eating good tonight.

jiung’s knowledge of your preferences are so accurate that you end up eating off of both yours and his plate, and vice versa. he smiles throughout the entire dinner, finding the image of you excitedly eating the food adorable and a sight he wants to see forever. nothing more adorable than your cheeks full of food and that happy look on your face as you eat.

he is glad he was able to pick satisfactory dishes, smiling ear to ear the entire dinner with you.

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ definitely finds you as his muse. there is rarely ever a time he doesn’t involve you in his creation process for music, which is understandable since sometimes he really needs to lock in. but seriously, he finds so much inspiration in your mere presence, you really do help him so much through his writing, composing, and producing process. just by you being the room with him, it helps him so much in everything. it’s as if you lift a weight off of his shoulders.

now p1ece were aware of who you were. they didn’t think that you and jiung were dating, though, mainly due to the fact that you were both boys and they just didn’t automatically assume you were anything more than friends. it was kind of fun that way, since jiung could easily sing praises for you and be as sappy about your guys relationship and the fans will seriously play it off as “i love their friendship”

jiung appreciates that since it doesn’t put you two in an extremely uncomfortable situation and allows you two to hide your relationship in plain sight. and while he can’t really openly show you affection or speak his mind on just how much he loves you, he is glad that he can speak your names in the same sentence and his fans won’t immediately threaten you, or anything like that.

“are you sure it’s recording?” you ask, looking at the miniature camera the company had lent jiung for the rest of the day.

“yeah, when the light is red that means it’s filming,” he clarifies, making you hum in understanding. “hello, everyone,” he greets the camera, reminding himself that he has to act as if he is speaking to a live audience.

the company wanted some behind the scenes footage of jiung composing p1harmony’s songs, which explains the two of you sitting in his studio as well as the mini camera and tripod that were now on his desk.

“so this the process of me writing the first couple lyrics to one of our upcoming songs,” he explains, placing the camera down so that you were not in frame and it was mainly him and his keyboard in sight. “i have someone here to kind of help me through it, but i honestly think i know how i want to do this,”

you crack a smile at the reference to yourself, jiung already watching your reaction with a smile on his face, too.

“it’s a love ballad, softer than a lot of our songs. and it’s supposed to be on the refreshing side, so i hope i can show that process to you now,” he hums, looking at his computer screen, “should i do this or should i do that, is what i’m thinking now because i have a lot of lyrics already drafted up. i can’t show you, but i’m going through my digital notes right now,”

his words make you curiously look up, shifting in your seat to get a good glimpse of the lyrics. reading over the cheesy, sappy, and dramatic lines jiung had crafted about you makes a smile break out on your face.

“do you like them? which one is your favorite?” he asks, scooting over so you can get a better look. you’re in frame now, but it’s fine because he knows the company will blur out your face for your privacy.

all the lines jiung had written about you were all so sweet, it tempted you to give him a kiss right then and there. but you withheld, instead focusing on picking just one line to be your favorite. meanwhile, jiung is watching you like an excited kid showing something to their parent. he really loves hearing any feedback you give him as it believes it makes him a stronger artist.

his hand goes to gently caress the back of your thigh as he awaits to hear what you say. he can see in the view finder the camera can’t see it, so he’s carefree in his actions. anyone can tell that the look in his eyes is that of pure admiration, but he knows that p1ece will be none the wiser.

“hm, this one!” you point a finger at the screen, making jiung lean forward and read it over. the both of you are grinning ear to ear and those eyes of his are crinkled so obviously at the ends.

“really? those one are your favorite?” you hum in confirmation, for a moment forgetting that there is a camera recording you two. “i like those too, i feel like they’re pretty specific so it might not be that relatable to others…but to me, they’re really strong lyrics that show genuine love,” near the end of his sentence he realizes that he has to have some sort of filter and adds in, “only if you know what true love is, everyone, will you be able to relate.”

you roll your eyes at his cheesy line and cheap save, going back to sit on the sofa that was in his studio and going to sit on the couch.

“oh, here there are some lines in here about a forbidden love you guys might like — it’s also a little specific, sorry, but if you’ve ever experienced anything like it, you’ll get it right away!”

┆chronic yapper jiung being the most adorable, caring, and attentive boyfriend out there — i would know, i’m his real boyfriend everyone!! okay but seriously you’d be the center of this guys’ universe if you were his, he loves connecting everything back to you UGH i love jiung.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | twelve.

���spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, lotsa talk goin around, mostly focused on namjoon lol, i'ma tell yall rn - cant trust nobody!!, everyone is just onto san x oc but for the wrong asssss reasons, joon loves his 'yes or no' questions lmao, again - i promise you there is no ill intentions behind namjoon's actions - he is trying to see both sides but he has to do what he needs to do as a department chair first & foremost!! pls understand my guy.. he had to think quick!

Today, it feels like everyone is staring at you.

Today, it feels like everyone knows, and everyone is projecting their assumptions about you and San out into the world.

"You okay?" Eunchae looks down at you as you walk and avoid contact, keeping your eyes down on your feet below or your phone. "You're awfully quiet today." Maybe word hasn't gotten to Eunchae, Jurin or Felix yet, but you know it'll eventually make its way over.

Or, maybe they have heard and they're just waiting for you.

All you know is that you wanna hide under your blankets to prevent all this overthinking, this anxiety from feeling like everyone is watching you.

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You sure? I'm all ears, you know."

"Mhm." You give her a small reassuring smile as you tug on your bag. "Thank you."

"Course."

"Have you heard from Jiung today?" You ask. You haven't really talked to Jiung since your fight at the happy hour event, and he hasn't done much to talk to you either. It's a bit awkward, but whenever you and your friends are all together, you try to keep the peace and act like nothing is wrong. You do hope he's okay, and you do hope to have your bestfriend back— but you're still upset at the fact that he jumped to conclusions about San and accused him of forcing you into this.

"No. But, he did say he probably wasn't gonna grab lunch cause he needs to take care of some things."

"I see."

"I'll see you for lunch though, right?" You nod, just as the Biology building comes into view. "Goodluck with class today." 

"Thanks." You squeeze her hand before heading inside for class. Luckily, Yunho said he wouldn't be able to join class today. You weren't really in the mood to deal with him, and you're more so worried about getting through class in one piece before your mind tears you apart with all this overthinking. 

"Morning Y/N!" A student already sitting in the classroom says. You're instantly comforted as you greet them back and start getting set up at the front of the classroom. But, that instantly goes down the drain when two more students walk in together— eyeing you as they pass the front table before talking amongst each other.

Fuck.

You haven't heard from San either.

The world truly felt like it was swallowing you whole.

—FLASHBACK

"Hey! I'm back." You smile at Sunwoo as you place your things down at your desk. It instantly fades when you get a chance to look around the basement office, a few of your lab members talking amongst themselves while looking in your direction. You slightly furrow your brows, wondering what exactly they were talking about or why they felt the need to be doing all of that in your face.

Was everyone in on you and San?

Is this what everything has come to?

"Hey you!" Sunwoo looks up, noticing the shift in your mood. He turns to look at everyone, shaking his head before returning his attention towards you. At this point, everyone has returned to their desks or left the room to head into the behavior or wet lab rooms. "You good?"

"Hm." You hum. "I guess."

"You guess? How was the conference?"

"Good! It was chill. Jotted down a few presentations I wanted to share with you and Belle. Is she around?" He shakes his head.

"Haven't seen her."

"Hm, okay."

"You can tell me, I'm all ears." You look at your watch.

"I gotta run behavior soon."

"So, let's grab something quick to eat before you run behavior?"

"I'm down. Kinda starving anyway."

"Yeah, let's get something in you. You won't be able to focus otherwise." He stands and stretches before nodding towards the door. "So, what was the most interesting?" You follow behind him with your wallet clutched in hand, lingering eyes watching as you leave with Sunwoo.

"Maybe she's trying to get around the lab?" You overhear one of the guys say just as you walk out of the room with Sunwoo, pausing in your steps.

"Sunwoo."

"Huh?"

"Actually, you know what. I think I can hang on until dinner. I should get started on behavior. We can talk about this another time."

"Huh? No, let's get something really quick."

"You can go ahead without me. Sorry. I just realized I'm more strapped on time than I thought I was."

"Okay? But, I'm grabbing you a snack and you better eat it." He slowly starts walking backwards down the basement hallway, glaring at you.

"Thank you." Sunwoo watches as your head falls when you walk back into the basement office. Truth be told, he's been hearing the talk go around, but he's not one to meddle— especially if it has something to do with his good friends. He'll always be on your side, regardless of what people say or think.

And he feels awful it's starting to be more obvious around you. The talk. The looks.

He wishes he could do more as your friend to help keep it away from you.

—END

Namjoon is already having a rough start to his day despite it being one of the lighter days meeting-wise. He was woken up to an urgent, sensitive email from the dean about an anonymous tip that came in overnight about San:

Namjoon— Please get to the bottom of this; we received this tip last night about San and his student.  'Hi. I'm not sure who to direct this concern to anonymously, but I believe Y/N Y/L/N and Professor Choi (San) are in an inappropriate relationship. I think she might be using it to her advantage to move forward in the program and secure her spot in his lab.' I'd like to resolve this before the end of the week. This should not be taken lightly if this is true...

And the thing is— he's just frustrated that this has been taking up this time lately. He hasn't even gotten his own time to think properly. He could only sigh in disappointment as he got ready for his day, unsure of what else it could bring him. 

He should've known the storm was coming.

Iseul tugs on her jacket as she heads over to the Panama Building, the wind cooling her cheeks as she made sure to clear her hour for this particular meeting. Most students are in class right now, so the halls are quiet, still. Iseul takes the elevator up to the second floor and steps out, rushing down towards the left end of the hall.

"Namjoon." Namjoon turns over his shoulder to see Iseul. His door is wide open since he doesn't have any important meetings for awhile, and he always tries to foster a welcoming environment by letting students [and faculty] know they're always welcome to pop in if they need him.

He did not mean her though, especially today.

"Iseul."

"Can we talk?" Namjoon quickly sizes her, realizing she's already inside his office. He doesn't necessarily have a choice, but he knows this talk was gonna happen sooner or later.

He knows Iseul always has something to say.

"You're already in my office so I don't think there's necessarily a choice." He says it in a slightly playful manner just so he doesn't come off entirely rude. "What's on your mind?" Iseul shuts the door and crosses her arms before looking at him. Namjoon sits on the edge of his desk, hands loosely clasped together.

"I think you might already know." He shrugs.

"Enlighten me."

"San."

"What about him?"

"Can you let him know how dangerous it is to be dating his rotation student? He's being stupid."

"He's a grown man."

"And you're the chair."

"Thanks for the reminder." He furrows his brows. "Respectfully Iseul, this is not a discussion for you, that's why I'm not trying to indulge."

"How is this not? He's putting his reputation on the line, along with the school's. Including yours—"

"I don't see where you're involved. You don't have anything to do with him directly or the bioengineering department." He crosses his arms and stands. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but this wasn't your place to do so. I'll handle it and I'll take care of it, so you don't need to worry." Namjoon glares at her a bit. 

"You're being so casual about something pretty severe." Namjoon pauses as he maintains his eye contact with her. She wants him to shrink and fold, but he won't.

"I think we both know that's not the reason why you're bringing this up." Her brows are knit tightly as they sit in an awkward, tense pause. "Aren't you tired of treating San this way? Why exactly do you feel so strongly about calling him out?"

"I'm not even doing anything to him—"

"You're right, you're not. You don't respect him, you don't acknowledge him, you don't know how to be civil with him. Yet, you don't see me calling you out on your behavior towards your ex-husband who has done nothing but try and keep the peace. I only ever hear San's name come out of your mouth when you've got something bad to say about him." She glares at him. As much as Namjoon equally tries to be there for all of the faculty and to not choose sides, one thing that can surely piss him off is when people act this way unwarranted.

So no, he won't sit back if he feels the hostility. He understands the severity of the situation and he has yet to gather his thoughts and his information, but he won't take this.

"So, you're gonna let this go? Do you even actually understand the situation, Namjoon? If you won't take care of it, I'll have no choice but to escalate this to the dean."

"I do, plenty. You don't have to tell me twice or how to do my job, Iseul." He walks over to the door. "I already said I'll take care of it. On my own terms and in my own way. Not the way you want me to." He places a hand on his hip. "And what makes you think we haven't already discussed this?"

"Fine. If that girl ruins everything for the school—"

"She won't." Namjoon cuts her off just as he swings the door open. "This will be taken care of, end of story. Is there anything else I can help you with that doesn't involve San and his personal matters?"

"No." She huffs a bit before walking out of the room. At this point, Jiung is cutting the corner and almost running into Iseul as he makes his way to Namjoon's office. Jiung does a curt bow to Iseul as she storms by, heels clicking away on the linoleum floor. Her feet are heavy, Jiung feels every step even as she gets further and further away.

"Oh, Jiung. Nice to see a friendly face." Namjoon lets out a breath and gives him a toothless smile. 

"Professor Kim." Jiung gives him a bow. "Are you free right now?"

"Mhm." He steps aside. "Just finished with Professor Lee. Come on in." He welcomes him inside, a bit relieved to see his face and to be welcomed by his gentle aura. It's nothing like Iseul and he's grateful; although, it does make him a little nervous to see Jiung in his office when he doesn't necessarily belong to the department. 

And just like Iseul, the buzz around campus, everything that's been going down— Namjoon already feels like he knows what this is about.

The only thing he can do is confront it and take care of it just like he told Iseul he'd do. But, how? He's not sure. He's gonna have to take the time today to sit San down and poke at his brain because he's just not understanding how all of this went down and why his name and your name are being tossed around together.

Maybe he just didn't wanna believe it was true; not with San, no. He couldn't. Both as his friend and colleague.

"What can I help with? I'm a little surprised you're popping into my office since you're in the electrical engineering department."

"Ah, cause.." Jiung slowly sits in the chair and sets his bag down. "It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me." Namjoon cocks his head to the side.

"Okay, no worries. I'm all ears."

"I-I don't really know how to say this, but I'm mainly concerned about a friend. She's in the bioengineering department."

"I think I might know what you're talking about." Namjoon says, giving Jiung a nod to proceed with his explanation.

"Yeah, it's that. I feel like Professor Choi might have forced her into it, though. It just seems really out of character for Y/N, and I don't know. I guess it just feels like he might have said something or tried to take advantage of her."

"I understand your concern for your friend, but can you let me know why you think Professor Choi is taking advantage of her or forcing her into this?"

"I just.. it just seems off, is all."

"But, what if this is also Y/N's choice?"

"It's not like her."

"I'm not saying you don't know your friend, Jiung. But, there are things people are fully capable of doing that can come off as unexpected from your point of view."

"I talked to her after the whole happy hour thing went down and I found Professor Choi kinda cornering her against the wall. She didn't look scared or anything, but she did get defensive while I was talking to her and asking her about it."

"I see." Is all Namjoon says because one, he just doesn't know. Just like he told Jiung, there are probably things he doesn't know San is capable of doing. He needs to talk to him and that's the only way he'll get the proper story. The only way to get to the bottom of it is finally confronting San about the issue at hand. 

Face to face.

To be honest, he's been putting off the conversation because it's not a conversation he wants to have. It's not easy, nor will the decision at the end be something he wants to do— but he has to.

"I'm sorry, Professor Kim. I don't mean to add to your plate, but I got worried."

"Is Y/N doing okay otherwise?" He nods.

"Think so. She hasn't been saying much. We got into a fight after I confronted her so we haven't been talking."

"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will smooth over sooner or later." Namjoon says. "Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?"

"No, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have much details, I'm just worried about her."

"All good, I understand. I'm sure she appreciates it, too. She's lucky to have a friend like you by her side."

"Thanks, Professor Kim. For hearing me out."

"Sure. I'll take care of it and see what I can do, okay?" Jiung nods and stands, slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.

"Can we keep this between us? Please don't mention that I stopped by."

"Of course." Namjoon says softly as he stands to walk him to the dior. "Of course." He repeats.

"Thanks."

"I just can't promise you I'll have any updates cause it'll be pretty confidential moving forward."

"It's fine. I get it." Jiung stops right before he steps out the door. "Thank you again."

"No problem. You know how to reach me if you have any other concerns." Jiung nods before slipping through the door and taking his exit. Namjoon exhales heavily before pulling out his phone to text the person he needs—

namjoon: can we talk in my office? i'd rather much do this today, not later. 

namjoon: i'm free for the next hour and half.

san: yeah. i'll be there in 15 minutes.

namjoon: thanks.

He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to gather his thoughts. It's the hardest thing to approach this as a colleague rather than a friend because as a friend, Namjoon would let this go. He knows San deserves to be happy, and it sounds like he is. That's all he's ever wanted for him especially after all the hurt and pain he had gone through with Iseul and Yunho. But as a colleague, his 'higher-up' even, it's wrong. San's happiness is wrong because it's with his student. A student who is a grown adult who can make decisions for themselves. It's wrong.

So, what does he do?

He feels a migraine coming on, so he tries to busy himself with some emails, making sure deadlines and reports have been submitted. Luckily, the dean is giving him some time and isn't pressing him for answers right this second even though he knows it's on his mind. If he was, Namjoon wasn't sure what he'd say.

He's not sure how he'll get San out of this.

"Yo." San appears in his office, softly shutting the door behind him. 

"Take a seat." San immediately picks up on the vibe in the room and how stressed Namjoon looks. He knows they still need to talk about things, but something tells San it's become much deeper than that and he's not prepared for it whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried to prepare, there's no proper way to be fully prepared.

"You okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know." He sits back a bit, hands clasped on the surface of the table. "But, I'm just gonna get right to it because I think this is way overdue."

"Okay." San manages to respond softly.

"We need to talk about what happened at the happy hour event the other day, plus that whole thing with Iseul and Yunho." Namjoon pauses before he cuts to the chase. "San, why do I keep getting wind of you being in a relationship with your rotation student?" Silence. "Y/N, to be exact." He looks at him. "Is that what the whole happy hour thing was about? Is that what you three were discussing in the conference room yesterday?" He sighs. "I was try to push this off a little longer until I could figure out how to get you out of this, but word keeps going around and it definitely didn't help that you three had a screaming match about it." San sighs heavily as he sinks into the chair.

"Well, as far as I know, I wasn't planning on discussing my personal matters with Yunho and Iseul. They trapped me into the fucking—"

"San." Namjoon stops him. "Is it a yes or no?" Pause. San just looks at Namjoon and it's enough for him to put the final piece together. Everything had been about you from the get-go, but San still won't say it. He's doing everything to protect you, but this might be it; there's no way he can lie to Namjoon about this, or hide this from him any longer.

It's far too late for that.

"San." He repeats. "This is not the time to try and lie to me. I had two people talk to me about it and an anonymous tip came in that was sent my way."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter." Namjoon furrows his brows and lets out a heavy exhale. "I need the truth from you. Now." The exasperated sigh that leaves San's lips is full of emotions; fear, anxiety, protectiveness, even.

"I'm sorry." Is all San can respond with. It comes out low, barely above a whisper.

"Why?" Namjoon cocks his head to the side, hands on his hips. "Why? I just wanna know why!" His voice is harsh, but he keeps his tone low. "A student, your student? It's damn near everywhere, you know that, right? I don't know how I'm gonna fix this for you, but you know they'll take action against her and probably you—"

"Namjoon, please." San pleads. "Please don't do this to her. Don't take her out of the program. Do whatever you need to me, but don't take it out on her."

"San." Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. "You should've known better." He looks at him, but San can't even respond. All he can do is shrug and shake his head because he did know better, he just didn't wanna do better and chose to be selfish. "I need to figure this out before end of the day and report back to the dean. I can't force you to act a certain way or do things you don't wanna do. But, for this reason in particular, I'm gonna need you two to stop. You're not interacting with her on campus, you're not going to be involved in anything having to do with her moving forward." Namjoon shakes his head. "You both couldn't wait until graduation or something? I know it's years ahead but you know how this looks—"

"I— no. Things just happened. That's really the only way I can explain it. I'm sorry. The hell am I supposed to do? I can't help but feel how I feel for her." Namjoon sighs heavily, feeling torn between wanting his friend to be happy, but concerned and disappointed for his colleague.

"That isn't gonna fly. You knew better than to get involved with a student in your lab. You can't just risk everything you've built for yourself, San. You have no idea how much trouble you could get into if the school finds out just exactly how deep your relationship has gotten with her— let alone, your own rotation student!" His tone slight rises, but it falls when he sees San visibly shrink and lose eye contact with him. He paces around for a bit, hands still on his hips as he tries to figure out a way to brush this over before it gets way too messy and complicated. "I get you. I do. You deserve to be happy, and who the hell am I to police your actions? But, I can't have you do this to yourself or her. The both of you are grown so I expected you to do better."

"So, what's gonna happen?"

"Well, I'll need to let them know this isn't true and that you two aren't in a relationship. I'll have to remove her from your lab and I'll need to figure out where I can place her or what I can do for her." 

"They won't kick her out, right?"

"Honestly, I can't even be sure. I don't think so, but you two will definitely not be allowed to be near or around each other." Namjoon looks at him. "Are you not even worried about yourself?"

"No, I'm not."

"She's worth it to you?"

"More than anything." San says softly. "Look, it's cliché but you really don't understand." Namjoon shrugs.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't wanna take your happiness away, San. Believe me. That's the last thing I wanna do and this is already difficult as is. But, it just had to be her?"

"It did, yeah. And there's nothing I regret about it." Another small silence falls between them before Joon speaks up again.

"Do you get where people are taking this?"

"No, quite frankly, I don't."

"Favoritism, like you two are taking advantage of each other for benefits. It's becoming so noticeable that people are talking."

"You and I both know how great of a student she is. If she's received opportunities, it's because she earned them herself, not because of me."

"That's not how it looks. And perception matters. You know this. Relationships like this are literally a ticking time bomb for your career, the bioengineering department." He's gonna use the excuse that Iseul pulled because for him, as department chair, as someone who needs to keep the glue together for this department, it's true. 

"I don't even see how we're doing anything wrong when we're both adults. She and I both know what this is—"

"That doesn't matter in this situation. There's a power dynamic here you can't ignore. Even if this is real, you hold her future in your hands. Do you understand?" Joon exhales, brows tightly knit together. "What about her fate in this whole situation? Do you care about that?"

"Of course I do. I care about her more than anything." San responds almost exasperatedly.

"Do you love her?"

"If I say yes?"

"Then, tell me. If you had to choose between your relationship or keeping her here, then what?" San sighs and runs his hand down his face. "Think about it. You deserve to be happy, but that girl also deserves a chance to keep going."

"Why can't we just keep it on the low, why do I have to choose? W-we can be more careful—"

"San, don't be stupid. I'm sure 'being careful' is how this all started, right?" Silence. "You know people are going to find out one way or another. It won't matter how real this is to you, to the both of you. She'll be branded as the professor's pet. Is that what you want for her? And you'll lose everything—your job, your reputation, ability to work at other institutions. Plus, the dean is still thinking about your program with Jongho and the real estate. This is going to trickle onto Jongho, too."

"No, of course not. And I don't want Jongho to take a fall because of me. But.." San sighs, his heart breaking the more this conversation goes on. He wasn't prepared to be here today, no. And he wasn't prepared for his mind to start thinking otherwise about your relationship, you. He was always sure of you, but now he's starting to feel like he's been too selfish;

Neglected you and your future plans. Your dreams, your goals.

"You're asking me to break this off. To break off my relationship with someone I truly care about and someone that genuinely makes me happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time."

"I'm sorry, San. I already told you how difficult this is, and it's not my intention to take your happiness away. I just need to protect you two from everyone, especially the dean. Please understand me and hear me. I'm asking you to protect her this way. If anything happens, it'll be the both of you going down and you know she doesn't deserve that either. "

"And If I don't do this?" San asks just to put the question out there.

"Then, can you call it love? Or is it just you being selfish?" San leans onto his knees, head falling into his hands. "I'm trying to come from a good place. Help me help you." He feels a headache coming on, thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour. He hates the thought of losing you; it makes him sick to his stomach. But, he can't even lie and say there isn't a piece of truth behind Namjoon's words. 

Can San really say he loves you if he isn't doing the right thing for you? Is he being too selfish, assuming he could keep this on the low? Assuming he could be 'more' careful with you?

Is he selfish for wanting you by his side no matter what? Is he selfish for saying fuck it?

Is he selfish?

The last thing he wants to do is ruin your career, ruin you. Even if this will hurt like hell, he understands where Namjoon is coming from and knows he needs to put you first.

He's so conflicted. He has no idea what to do or how to move forward. Because as much as he knows he needs to do this for you and the sake of Namjoon, he doesn't want to.

He is scared.

"I need to head back to my office." San sighs and stands, but Namjoon follows closely.

"I don't have much time. I need to let them know that something is gonna be done and I need to prove it to them. You do hear me, right?"

"I do. I just.. give me a little bit of time to think, Joon. Please." Namjoon just nods, meeting San's expression. He feels bad, he really does. And as his friend, this isn't something he wants to do— but he has to. He could easily tell San to keep this on the low, to keep this a secret until things blow over but at some point, he doesn't trust himself to continue along with the story had anyone asked about it out of the blue.

Namjoon watches as San sadly walks off back to his office, eyes trained on the phone in his hand. San sees your texts, and usually, that'll be enough to put a smile on his face. He'll text back right away so you know he's been thinking about you; but today, he's thinking about you in a different light and he's not sure how to stomach it.

When he gets back to his office, he sees a few people from the lab lingering around— even you. You meet his eyes and his eyes meet yours, but he doesn't give you a smile.

His eyes don't glow like they used to.

His cheeks aren't threatening to glow that cute, rosy tint they do when you're around.

He just steps in without doing anything to acknowledge your presence and that already feels way off.

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

—read 12.5 here

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