#jimcurly band au

[itsallmouthwashing]

Band AU bullet points / slight timeline of events

This IS an AU, and they’re MY barbies I can make them kiss when I WANT /silly

Here are general bullet points for the Band AU with a slight timeline of events. Reblogs are so appreciated :)

If I write out a scene that's here I'll link the post and reblog this post as a sort of master list? Maybe? I'll figure it out. Also here's the playlist for the AU :)

Cw: mentions of parent death, implied neglect, drug abuse, assault, ooc characters

A little context---

Band Name: Tulpar

Record Label: Pony Express Records

Genre: Rock and Metal 

Canon divergence note: Anya does get assaulted, but by her boyfriend instead of Jimmy. I don’t really have a character set up for the boyfriend yet, but I wanted to keep that as an element of her story 

Curly on guitar and vocals, Jimmy on guitar and scream vocals, Anya on bass and fills for drums, Daisuke on drums and synth/keyboard, fills for bass sometimes when he’s feeling confident and Anya wants to switch it up

Swansea is their manager right before they go pro and remains their manager when they sign with P.E Records! He is the one the band has to impress with their new songs. If he doesn’t like it, it doesn't get used 

Curly and Jimmy formed Tulpar in their junior year of high school. Originally it was going to remain the two of them(Curly was learning drums), but the two clicked with Anya and Daisuke almost immediately during senior year (they were both transfer students). 

It for sure took convincing for Jimmy to let them join the band. He made them ‘prove’ they were ‘worthy of finding a place in their art’

They totally fucking blew him away (Curly was a little smug about it after Jimmy conceded.)

Jimmy does bond with Dai and Anya over the years

Dai is the one to propose they go pro. His parents have lots of connections in Hollywood and production, so it’d be easy to find someone willing to listen to them and give them a chance on the billboards

Jimmy gets a little pissy about this (he’s huge into actually working for things in life and hates the idea of using connections to get his success) and storms off without saying anything (normally he’d be dragged out of the room screaming. He’s been working on his temper since senior year. Curly literally slapped it into him that the world isn't highschool and he needs to change the way he acts around people if he wants to retain friendships)

But Jimmy’s mom dies. His dad can't take the grief and follows her into the afterlife. Jimmy breaks down and he’s lashing out at every turn

The rest of the crew take it for months and months, with Curly explaining that Jimmy's really going through a lot and should be patient. He would talk to him later if he hasn't calmed down in a few days

But it just gets worse over the days 

Jimmy is constantly putting down the rest of his bandmates but mostly targets Anya as she is the most insecure of the group and finds it easier to spit poison at

One day she visits Curly to discuss this (Salt and Mouthwash scene here)

Jimmy ends up apologizing but it takes time for things to return to normal for all of them

Dai brings in Swansea, a music critic for them to workshop songs with

He goes full manager mode, disapproving of songs the crew thought for sure he’d love and approving ones they were really on the fence about

Insert training montage here

Swansea eventually brings them in front of P.E Records execs

After a brutal five week waiting period, Tulpar officially signs with Pony Express records

To celebrate, the crew goes out clubbing. Anya hooks up with a girl for the first time. Lesbain shenanigans ensue in the bathroom. Jimmy and Curly get a little too drunk. Daisuke pukes outside of the car (and tries really hard to not puke inside the car. He fails.) 

Sleepover at Curly’s house (they all forgot they had exams in the morning and Curly’s house is right next to the campus.) Jimmy gets flirty and lonely when he’s drunk and through the heightened emotional states of it all, he goes in for a kiss

Daisuke stumbles into Curly’s room thinking it’s the bathroom. Almost pukes on the carpet like an ill cat. 

They startle apart and when Curly comes back from leading Dai to the bathroom Jimmy is already asleep (he’s a little faker- he’s just embarrassed)

Exams go like shit the next morning and everyone is too stressed to go back out and get their cars so it’s a week-long study session at Curly’s while everyone crams

Song writing breaks that become too frequent. Swansea suddenly appears to oversee the studying (Dai’s parents sent him over to check on him, but he finds a reason to stay and supervise. Writing breaks become nonexistent) and he actually helps everyone with studying. He’s the one to propose flash cards and Anya hs to scream into a pillow because why didn't she think of that sooner? Then again when she realizes She did, but her flashcards were in her car. Which was at the bar. Which was an hour away because they’re all idiots. 

Swansea and Curly get her car for her and convince her to take a break from her own material while they’re out (Dai just asks her to help him with studying.)

Jimmy like a fucking DOG keeps himself from begging to go with them, but Swansea says “I’ve known how to drive longer than your daddy’s been shooting into socks. Anya’s car will be safe with me, kiddo,” and pushes Curly out the door lmao

On the way, Swans and Curly have a little heart-to-heart and Swans reveals he’s been family friends with Dai’s parents for years and they’re actually large shareholders of the record company. 

Curly doesn't care, not really, but he feels his stomach drop and his heart drown in fire. Jimmy could never find out about this. He can hardly keep the radio on during his solo drive back

When they arrive back at Curly’s, Dai and Anya are passed out on the couch while Jimmy sits wide awake at the dining-room table. Swansea sees no reason to stick around (“I went to the club for the first time in twenty years, Grant. I need to get home and sleep it off.”) and dips. 

Exams go a little better, but on the last day Anya gets pulled over on her shame-stop to Burger King. She has a panic attack during the stop and it gives her the idea to write HAMMS IN A GLASS. She’s caught humming it and tapping on the coffee table one day while Swansea is over discussing logistics or whatever with Curly. He full stops their conversation, tells Anya to polish it and have it to him by the end of the week (“Motherfucker I might not have a degree if I think about anything other than my tests and where the fucking rotator cuffs are, PLEASE”), and then LEAVES (“Guess I’ll find what our budget will be after you’re finished…”)

She tries to workshop it with Dai between classes (he’s in an engineering course, but their buildings are pretty close together)(Ive only taken online college classes please) but Dai is becoming increasingly unavailable. She turns to her boyfriend. The night they work on it, he gives her a drink to help her relax from all the stress she’s been under

But he takes advantage of her that night. When she realizes what he’s done she flees to Curly’s house. Her boyfriend follows her, accusing her of cheating when she gets to the door and Curly is there to catch her. 

Curly tries hard to deescalate the situation, but when Jimmy catches wind of what’s happening at the door he makes his appearance (anya had no idea why he was there (gay reasons) but grateful for the surprise help). Jimmy punches his FUCKING lights out (“I didnt do it for you, Anya. That guy was pissing me off. So I took care of it… Now he won’t mess with either of us, alright?”). Everyone thinks it’s a little hot, even the guy getting punched (hey, everyones having a gay awakening this evening, huh?)

Anya stays the night, thwarting Jimmy’s plans to dick Curly down sexual style at last. 

[itsallmouthwashing]

Salt and Mouthwash- Band AU

welcome to Angst World, I am the mascot, here is some angsty jimcurl from my band AU MUAH [(I am projecting :)] [(this time they're emo barbies :)] [(a.k.a Jimmy is in platforms and they're in a scream rock band the silly picture is cute)]

Here’s the full scene from one of my bullet points here. Feel free to read up if you want to understand more context! Anya is OOC, please forgive me. She has different reasons to be timid around Jimmy (you’ll find out why in a bit), and I def imagine her being more outspoken at this point in her life.

This is Part One of Two (I'll update post with part 2 when I post it) and part two is gonna be,,,,,, smut :)

Reblogs are appreciated :) Please enjoy

CW: parent death

_____P--L--E--A--S--E----E--N--J--O--Y_____

“I’m leaving, Curly.”

“Come on, Anya! He’s-”

“Turning us into punching bags! Is that what you were going to say? Cause it should have been!” Her hands fly to her face and push her hair back with a huff that rattles the room.

My hands won’t stay still at my side. The sickness turns in my chest like a witch’s brew and I’m cursed to remain on this bridge with my feet in cement. 

She sighs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling. These are my feelings and they’re not for you to bear for me.”

I try to take a deep breath. “It’s alri-”

“Is what I would say if I was JIMMY!” 

Her shrill voice echoes through the garage. It’s all so empty except for the equipment we’ve been storing here. Daisuke’s drum set sits alone on the back wall, my and Jimmy’s guitars laying on the adjacent and Anya’s bass slung on her back. She’s going to fucking kill me with it if I’m not careful.

“You-”

“Say something that isn’t ‘you have to understand,’ Curly. I’m begging you! Say something in my defense for once!”

Silent is all I can be. I wouldn't be able to hear through the blood in my ears. 

The space between me and the floor is infinite. 

Gravity hits me now, draining it all from my body a gallon at a time. “I’ll talk to him,” someone says. “Please, Anya. Let me talk to him.” 

We float in silence. I don’t feel her eyes on me. I feel eyes looking at myself looking at her looking down at her feet, hearing someone trying to steady their breathing so they don’t drown. It’s me, I think.

“Fine,” she says as she brushes past me. She pauses in the doorway, her hand gripping the wood so tight it might splinter under her rage. “But if I’m made to feel lesser again, I'll walk.”

She storms out of the garage, making sure the door doesn’t slam behind her and doing the same when she flees out the front.

I hear it all happen at once. The times where Jimmy screamed at her for playing a note wrong one too many times. Or thinking her criticism is some sort of snide comment. 

The sound of his walls reaching up through the ground is deafening every time. The sound of the door slamming behind him doesn't even compare. 

Daisuke looks at me, holding back tears and failing when he looks away. Anya follows Jimmy out of the door, but I hear her stomp up the stairs while the front door shakes the house. Each time, I try to say something. Each time, I am silenced. Each time, I leave to find Jimmy. Each time, we cry. Each time, the talking never comes. 

The red-soaked concrete stares back at me, and I, it. I think I’m jealous. If only it could feel the anguish I do. If only I didn't feel the weight of the people that walk all over me.

Footprints form in the thin membrane left over from my fluids returning to me in one fell swoop. One step at a time to the front door. And I follow, one step at a time, to the front door. They lead me to a knock, steady and shy.

I pray it’s Anya. Nothing leaves me sore more than a conversation left on bad terms. I need to make her understand, I need to-

-Take a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth, slow and steady. 

And rip off the band-aid. 

“An-”

It’s hazel eyes instead of cool blue. Greasy brown hair instead of blow-dried black. Smoking a cigarette left un-ashed for too long. I wish he’d do it on the neighbor’s porch instead of mine. All he has to do is reach over. 

“Uh, what’s up Curls? You forget about our lesson?”

“Jimmy! Aha… Yes, I did. I’m really sorry.”

He sucks in a deep drag from his cigarette, breathes it out like dragonsbreath. 

“It’s fine,” he says through the smoke. “I was really looking forward to this one too-”

“Jim, I didn't say I wasn't available.”

“Oh,” he says, finally ashing his cigarette. Only half of it falls to the neighbor’s side as he notices me eyeing it, suddenly remembering my countless requests to ash it literally anywhere else. He snubs it on the concrete slab that serves as my porch.

“May I?”

He sniffles and moves past me to come inside, takes his shoes off and places them off to the side. I take one last look around my block for Anya, but her car is already gone. I think the sun’s gone down a little too.

“Let's set up in your room this time. It has the most furniture so there’s less space for the sound to escape.”

“Right, good idea,” I say from the top of the stairs. He stumbles up behind me, tripping on the carpet.

I need to pull it together. This is serious. 

“Actually, before we start. I really need to talk to you." I choke out as I sit down on my bed beside him. 

Jimmy almost goes rigid. He tries to hide his left hand as it grips my sheets. 

“Uh, okay. Shoot, Curls.”

In through the nose. Out through the mouth. “It’s about your behavior recently.”

“My God, not this shit again-”

“Jimmy, I’m being serious right now.”

“So am I! Do you know how much pain I’m in every single day?” He shoots up from the mattress, towering over me on platforms that he clearly doesn't know how to walk in. The tag is still on the left shoe. “I know what they’re thinking… How could he be this torn apart over two people he didn’t even love? Didn’t even love him? What are the tears for when it’s two sociopaths who went on to raise a sociopath of their own?” His hand claws at his chest, pulling his shirt from his neck like it could choke him if it came any closer. 

“I know what they did to me. I know what they think I should be feeling. They say they understand but they dont- No one could ever-” His hands push locks of hair out of his face like they’re the hands of hell come to drag him below. He’s trying to steady his breathing. “I know what I would be thinking,” he scoffs. “You should be relieved, overjoyed, even. You should be celebrating… Ding dong, the bitch is dead, right?” His eyes fall to the carpet again, counting the fibers like he needs to know exactly how many pieces he needs to break into. 

“So why do I miss them?” He chokes out. 

To anyone else it would be unintelligible; just sopping wet words coming through a pinhole of vulnerability. They’re cut and bruised by the time they finish their journey to me, the oxygen we breathe like salt and mouthwash, but I hear them all the same.  

“Why do I miss my mommy and daddy so bad?”

We’re shaking. His knees are about to buckle and my stomach is on an endless roller coaster into the abyss. We’re standing on the edge of a bridge and I’m begging God for a chisel.

I stand despite the gelatin that’s become the air around us. He’s heaving as he scans the floor, his eyes doing suicides between the decisions of ripping his jacket off or hiding inside of it. My hands steady on his shoulders.

“Jimmy.”

 He doesn’t look up, but he pauses his decision making for a brief moment. He’s listening. “Deep breaths. Listen to me.”

He closes his mouth to keep his breathing through the nose, but he doesn't slow down. I lean into his vision, forcing him to look at me when I stand between him and his endless options on the floor. His eyes are bloodshot- either from the pot he smokes in his car before coming over or this outburst- and he blinks twice to move along a tear stuck in his eyes. I squeeze his shoulders gently.

“…I feel it too, Jimmy. All of this,” I glance between his misty hazel eyes. He can't help but count them all, I think he mutters a number around one thousand. I need to start over. 

“It’s not wrong to feel this way, Jimmy.” 

He doesn't stop. He doesn't pause. He’s waiting to hear what I have to say. If it’s even worth stopping for. 

If he’s worth stopping for.

“You’re allowed to miss your parents, Jim.”

That does it. I think he goes through all six stages of rigor mortis at once before his muscles spasm up to me. But it all shuts down again. He’s back to staring at the carpet, but his eyes are still.

“You’re allowed to hate them at the same time. You can miss your parents while hating the people that hurt you. You can grieve the knife even after it stabs you.”

“... You’re crying.”

I’m fucking crying. My parents are fine and my best friend is shaking and I’m crying. 

“I feel it all, Jimmy,” I say in a deep, desperate moment to stay truthful. I can't sully any part of this with a lie. I won't brush it off. I won't shove it down. 

“We’ve been together through it all. Everything you see, I see. Everything you feel, I feel.” Scared. I’ve been so scared.

“Every moment, I am a part of you. I can't help but see the things that make you coil up inside. I can’t help but feel it all.” It’s so deep and aching, the pain. Everything is kept in a tiny bottle labeled ‘Fuck This’ and I’m swallowing it over and over again. “You have no idea how it feels to see your best friend suffer every day and not come to you for help.”

Thick and heavy tears wipe the dirt from my face. I don’t want to look away because he’s staring at me like I’m bringing him salvation in the middle of a hurricane. 

“Let me help you, Jimmy.” I hold him a little tighter. “Please…” I don’t mean to, but I bring him closer. 

His head finds its place in my shoulder, his hands to my back, and my hands to his head. He presses me into his face in an attempt to muffle his screeching sobs and I press him into me.

“It’ll be alright, Jim,” I mumble into his hair. “I’m here for you.”

His hair is greasier than I thought as I comb my hand through it. Maybe a hot shower will help him feel better after a cry.

“But, hey-” He sniffles as he looks up at me. He’s listening. Really listening. “Come to me before you lash out on our friends, okay? I know you’re hurting, but we all want to help you. Anya and Dai dont deserve the way you’ve treated them these past few months.” I wipe his tears with my thumbs.

“Curly, you know- with the whole-”

“Jimmy, no one understands you more than me. But I also know other people better than you.”

He turns his face in my shoulder, hiding only half as he mumbles into my shirt, “That’s mean, Curls.” 

“My point is- You need to apologize to your friends.”

He’s silent for a moment. A while. He stares into my shirt and holds my shoulder with both hands like the floor is about to fall out from under him.

“I guess… I have been a little bit of a dick,” he mumbles after a while.

I chuckle and rub his back. “A lotta bit, yeah.”

“Hey!”

“Hurt people hurt people, James. Us of all people know this.”

He nods and digs his fingers into my shoulders, now overwhelmed with hearing his government come from me of all people. I let him cry until he stops shaking and hold him up as his legs finally give out from under him. 

Remnants of his sobs ripple through him as I scoop him up from the floor and lay him down on my bed. 

“Let’s worry about the lesson another time, okay?”

He lets out a sort of hum that I think could be acknowledgment, but there’s an equal chance he’s fallen asleep and started his god-awful snoring. My body leans forward, resting on my elbows as I press a kiss to his hair. I pull away and pray it’s the latter, closing the door to take a hot shower before he wakes up. 

[itsallmouthwashing]

Out of context scene from my upcoming band au snip-it (incorrect band au quotes)

Jimmy: [sobbing] Curly: “All of this…I feel it too. I’ve been by your side so long I know what you’re thinking, feeling, doing- at every moment I am part of you. I feel it all, Jimmy. You have no idea how it feels to see your best friend suffer every day but won’t come to you for help.” Jimmy: [stops crying] [Looks up from his head in his hands] Dude... that's so gay Curly: Uh- You full stopped a panic attack to tell me I'm gay?? Jimmy: That is not what I said, but while we're on the topic- Curly: I thought we dropped this in middle school, man- Jimmy: YOU are the one who said you were gay, not me [Crisis and panic attack avoided, but now Curly has to confront his sexuality with Jimmy]

[itsallmouthwashing]

Band AU Playlist Expansions- Part 2 (11-15)

Obligatory playlist here, Part One here, Bullet Points Here

Here's the lore behind songs 11-15. None of the songs on the playlist apply to the scene I posted recently (here -> :) } but I wanted to get this out since I've added a few more songs to the playlist (almost to 30 baybe)

More on the JimCurl side than a general side, a little suggestive in some descriptions

Anyways! The worms :)

_____P--L--E--A--S--E----E--N--J--O--Y_____

11.) … But Pretend I’m A Beginner (TheDooo)- A song that Curly and Jimmy share early in their lessons together. Jimmy is on the main melody and Curly is on the scream vocals. Anya does drums during their practice sessions (when both of them become brave enough to practice in front of others). Its hard for Curly to keep up on his guitar while he’s learning to control his vocals, but Jimmy’s silent encouragement is all it takes for him to keep trying. It’s a while until it’s concert-ready, but Swansea deems them worthy after Through Hell happens. They perform Ængus The Prize-Winning Hog and get off stage. Swansea stops them (“What the hell was that stunt you two pulled out there… Good shit, do that other song now.”) Then it’s really hard for Jimmy not to ravage that man on stage cause how does someone look that good sweating and out of breath? Well… Now that I say it out loud… 

 12.) buckshot boy (Onlyfriend)- Jimmy writes this (either right before or right after) he confesses to Curly and they decide to try a relationship! Jimmy’s gotten in the habit of workshopping his songs at open mics (sometime’s Curly follows him to hear what he’s working because he knows it might be months before it ever gets back to him) and he’s dumped so much of his insecurity into this song (“You command the room just like you do, just like I dont”)- It feels better shouting into a void of strangers than talking it through with someone he has a connection with (open mic lowkey becomes his therapy). Curly follows him to this particular night after literally not having the time to see him. Jimmy notices him at the end of the song, standing in the darkest corner next to the bar. He rushes off stage and out of a fire exit, Curly chases after him and they end up in a dead end alleyway… :)

The tone is too pop-y for his initial liking, so he tries to add some harsher vocals into it. It never makes it to concert-readiness, but Tulpar will use it as a warm-up. Jimmy would die before he told anyone the meaning, but he usually doesn't share anyways. They figure he must be pining for someone. Anya and Daisuke take secret bets on who it might be and even Swansea gets in on the action (lowkey the stage crew when they overhear practice)

13.) Chucky vs The Giant Tortoise (Dance Gavin Dance)- A song Jimmy and Curly share. They wrote it together after their first big concert, riding the high of being loved by hundreds and having their name fill a room that fits thousands. Jimmy likes to sneak in nonsense lyrics because he knows that half the time no one can tell what he’s saying. It’s a good half-time song because they will get silly with each other on stage. They do a little dance during the opening stanza into the first verse. They link their free arms around each other and do a motion like they’re sharing a drink through it all. They come apart and do a little shimmy in the first and second lines of the first verse (For context: “But failure is painful and dying is fun” is the arms. “Dress code, cocktails, looking so fancy, We feel like we’re a little bit classy,” is the shimmy. hehehehe)

14.) What He Dont Know- Curly wrote this after Jimmy confided in him about a certain fantasy. Along with his degradation kink (we all saw it coming), Jimmy has a bit of a cheating fantasy. They’ve talked about it in length during their freshman year of college, and then more in depth a few months into their relationship. 

No one else knows this but Jimmy and it secretly turns him on when they perform it. One day after they’re together they act on the fantasy, and every performance afterward has Jimmy replying that night over and over in his head. 

Unfortunately, Curly has a sexy front-man image to uphold, so he works it for the fans and does all of his moves to the audience instead of on Jimmy’s face. Jimmy gets jealous. Every performance ends in a messy dressing room.

15.) All I Want (A Day To Remember)- A song Jimmy wrote and worked on with Curly during the aftermath of his parents death. Without his parents, Jimmy feels disconnected from the world. They felt like his only tethers. Now that they were gone, Jimmy felt free, but simply free-floating. Through the air, undefined by gravity or guilt or shame. And when Curly brings him back to the ground this song follows. 

[itsallmouthwashing]

so, band au starts in high school. Tulpar is formed in junior year, but what happened before then? How did Jimmy and Curly meet? What was their relationship like to get them at the point where they can make music together and be each other's future?

Well :) I'm working on a little something before I really start the fic (im still arranging the timeline)

uh cw for fights and blood and maybe some instant pining

:)

[itsallmouthwashing]

Thought about while writing this scene for Chapter 1 of the Band AU :)

Band Au thoughts as I'm writing

Jimmy: Cigarette? Curly, having just gotten his shit rocked: Fuck it, this day can't get any worse. Narrator: But the day would get worse. Curly would get caught smoking by his parents and be grounded for almost the rest of the school year. But not before developing a crippling nicotine addiction that would follow and haunt him forever. he will never put it down due to his even more crippling anxiety and constant need to be doing something Jimmy: Hey, shut the fuck up over there

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar- Band AU, Character descriptions

I cannot draw- so have some written descriptions and tidbits about the members of Tulpar! I'm planning more bullet points tomorrow but contemplating how much I want to give away ;)

It's very late, I want to add more but I also want to get these OUT! I have much much more planned so don't worry all the details will come out

Bullet Points here

ANYA

Our goth bhaddie

Mid-short black hair, undyed (a NATURAL goth queen)

Usually with purple eyeshadow and black lipstick. Her makeup isnt too intricate, but sometimes she likes to do a classic goth look (white foundation, black EVERYWHERE, the works) when she’s feeling fancy. Later when their band goes much more hardcore, she rocks the look more often. It makes her feel powerful and confident on stage!

YES she has Doc Martens. NO she doesn't wear them. They make her FEET HURT!!!

Still likes jogging! Is that jog to the nearest Burger King? Sometimes! 

Her first tattoo is the one she gets with the crew when Tulpar gets signed :)

Has her ears and her bottom lip pierced. She plays with her lip piercing when she’s studying

She picked up bass at 12 

Does Daisuke’s and Curly’s makeup sometimes :)

Perfer’s purple nail polish :)

DAISUKE

I put in my Ghost Adventure’s AU that Dai would have dyed his hair pink or purple, so this barbie has pink hair :) He’s got a purple fringe :) Probably short-- think about base game Sims 4 short emo hair-- that one!

Loves to paint his and the crews nails, especially for concerts! It happens so often that it becomes ritual and start times will go over if they aren't finished in time. Daisuke WILL get this hand right and the fans WILL understand (they always do!)

Loves to pair undershirts with his collection of Hawaiian shirts. Of course, his pink hibiscus is a staple, but so is the mesh/fishnet unders he puts on when he starts to transition to an alternative style. 

picked up drums around 15, but got really focused on it and mastered them fairly quickly before they went pro

Prefers his nail polish to match with his shirt that day!

JIMMY

Does not have dyed hair either, but he likes to keep it long-ish. It hides his face better but also gets in the way when he doesn't want it to. 

Had a battle jacket, but the sleeves got damaged when he hosted a bonfire and he did not pay attention to the fucking bonfire. That's alright though, he turned into a battle vest!

Overall more of a grunge aesthetic/style

YES his crust pants are REAL stop ASKING HIM !! 

Songwriting has been a part of him since he was little. it was his way to vent, a way to cope, a way to be in control of the narrative

Didn't know when he was younger, but Jimmy has perfect pitch. When he figures this out, he boasts about it in his guitar classes

Buuuuuut it just means the other kids asked him to turn their guitars. That stopped very quickly after he smashed someone's guitar.

Picked up guitar when he was 8. His dad was going to throw it out, but little Jimmy insisted he keep it and that he would find someone who would buy it off of him. Maybe a teacher at school or something.

But instead go buying it from him, a teacher sits him down and teaches him how to play. He gets so lost in it, he begs the teacher to keep it here and teach him more after school. That teacher also teaches him how to write music!

Learns how to do makeup because he’s jealous of Anya- always touching his face so gently to fix his makeup. Quickly learns that all he can really do is his own eyeliner, and even then it’s mid

He’s trying though! (when Jimmy clams the fuck down he eventually goes to Anya and asks her to teach him. They have a nice bonding moment. (the worms demand more, so more there will be- here when I post)

Prefers black nail polish, demands he does it himself (Curly convinces him to let Dai do with Jimmy can't get his hands to stop shaking before a concert. Dai continues to do them after)

Bracelets and chains out the waazoo. When he warms up enough, he lets the band borrow some for shows. (Dai does attempt to actually steal one at some point. Jimmy breaks his nose over it (The worms have plans, you’ll find out why!)

Will! It! Boof! Welcome to Jimmy’s favorite game show! Can it be smoked? He’s fucking got it baybeeee!!

That is to say, he smokes cigarettes, vapes, weed, carts, dabs- yeah man. At least the things that wont get him in serious trouble with the law (at least… not for a little bit…) 

CURLY

The oldest of the group, beside Swansea when he makes his appearance. 

Mid-short blond hair, also undyed. He does get a perm sometimes. When Jimmy does missing, he has a full breakdown and dyes his hair black, but that's later that's later thatslaterthatdlater

Has snakebites and an eyebrow piercing 

Nipple piercings WHO SAID THAT 

When the band goes pro, Pony Express records demands the front man have a certain image because thats what’s hot with audiences and they need to bring in as much revenue as possible with their first album or they get dropped 

Picked up guitar freshman year of high school when he was accidentally enrolled in a guitar class. Some kid said he had perfect pitch, and Curly thought he would be the perfect person to ask about turning his guitar

Only he misunderstood. Though he asked him to tune it for him- Maybe he heard someone ask him about that earlier? He took the guitar with a smile, then smashed It to the ground like he was killing a bug.

The end of freshman year, just before the final for the class, some kid came up to him to tell him his instrument was out of tune. and that he could show him if he'd like. So he doesn't get bumped a letter grade, ya know?

The kid tunes it- just in time, because Grant's name was just called from the now empty class room.

Sophomore year, Curly is enrolled in a choir class, where he discovers his love and talent for singing. Sometimes when he does solos in the classroom, he feels someone watching him from the window in the door.

Prefers yellow nail polish! He loves the contrast of his nails against his outfit since he’s usually in all back 

Wears mostly suits. It's what his parents put him in growing up, so he has a ton and they just feel natural. Does it hurt when Jimmy convinces him to rip them up for a concert? Only a little ;-; Does it make the audience go wild? Only a lot :) 

Wears Jimmy’s chains way before the rest of Tulpar have access to them 

SWANSEA

Tulapr’s manager before and after they get signed with Pony Express Records. 

Usually wears a track suit or something, very casual around the crew. After they get signed though, hes always dressing in P.E records merch, ad later Tulpar merch when PER authorizes it!

Keeping his backstory mostly the same, his struggle with addiction does come into play with the story I have in mind 

Used to be really into the punk scene. If you loook really close, you can see the holes from his snakebites and brow bars. No one can see it, but he also used to have a septum piercing. 

He has a stash of his old clothes on the bus when Tulpar is tour-ready! He also becomes the resident seamstress if a costume rips or malfunctions :)

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar Band AU- Character descriptions/some lore PART 2

Uh okay fellas- I had to use piccrew since I'm bad at art (good thing @living-stain is keeping me fed WOOF) and I'll include some more facts about them! This is part 2 of the Tulpar Band AU character descriptions! (Part 1)

(MAYBE I NEED TO CLARIFY MAYBE NOT BUT THE ART IS DONE MY @living-stain!!!!!!! Please show him some love!!)

JIMMY ZARE- Scream Vocals and Guitar

Learned guitar pretty early in life. His parents would often drop him at the local YMCA and he took an instant interest to making music. One of the instructors there also taught him how to write songs and write music!

That instructor also listened to a lot of metal music! Little Jimmy was fascinated with it and demanded the instructor teach him how to do the monster voice thing. (Instructor learned how, just for him) (Jimmy ate up every bit and even made notes in his journal!)

Has perfect pitch! It drives him crazy sometimes when he hears a sound- any sound- and can immediately know what note it is. Although, sometimes the crew will 'test' him. They'll make random noises and ask to identify it

Music was a great outlet for him, so all of his songwriting is very personal to him and exposing himself was something he had to come to terms with if he wanted to start a band and use his songs

he starts a journal of songs and notes about making music and carries it with him almost everywhere. It's where all of his lyrics are stored, where all of his feelings are stored. They have no place in his heart, so they must be put somewhere else

Started smoking cigarettes at age 9 when he snuck one out of his parent's stash. They caught him, but just gave him his own pack and lighter in response (shitty Jimmy parents that I created, when I get you- Jimmy's parents when I get you-)

Becomes a dealer at the high school but low-key only sells to people he trusts (aka people he knows for sure are stoners and don't want to ruin the one plug that will sell to them)

Curly gets him to stop when they form Tulpar, but Jimmy still gets supplies for the two of them (he doesn't know WHERE Daisuke heard about him still selling, but it leads to Tulpar's full formation so whatever)

Smashed some motherfucker's guitar on their first day of high school. Yes, Jimmy was bragging about having perfect pitch, but he didn't expect so many goddamn kids to want him to tune their guitars for class. So when this kid with too blond hair and a grating fucking accent, he finally had enough, and all the annoyance and impatience came out in a violent swing to the ground with that kid's guitar in hand

GRANT CURLY- Main Vocals and Guitar

Picked up guitar the summer before he moved to America. His freshman year of high school is when he was able to commit the most of his time to practice and learned how to play through school

First day of school had his guitar smashed. He brought his own from home not knowing there would be instruments provided, and the kid who smashed it had to pay Curly and his family himself to replace it (Curly parents could replace it no problem, it wasn't a financial thing. And Curly feels bad about this fact for 0.2 seconds before he's searching for new guitars on the internet)

Always had a knack for singing. His dad was actually in a band when Curly was growing up, and while his dad played drums he loved to sit in on practice and sing along.

Karaoke? What was that blond blur just now? That was Curly getting first in line

Develops an alt style thanks to Jimmy, molds it to a more 'classy' look by wearing button-downs and suit pieces (someone said he looked great in a button-down and he decided it was the only thing he would wear ever)

Jimmy got him hooked on cigarettes during their freshman year of high school. He literally cannot got thirty minuets without a cigarette. He's insecure about the smell that lingers on him, so he also carries a bottle of cologne with him almost everywhere

DAISUKE JUAREZ - Drums and Synth/Keyboard

Had an interest in piano when he was younger and kept up with it as he learned drums at 12

Between piano lessons and school, he played baseball at his after-school care program. He really enjoyed it, playing baseball through middle and high school and eventually getting a scholarship based on his skill! he has to juggle Tulpar and his college baseball career, so sometimes they need to schedule around Daisuke

His parents are stupid rich and have lots of connections in production. Both parents work in Hollywood (as what? Beats me him!)

Daisuke is sent to a new high school when he turns 18 (which is junior year. his parents let him finish the year but send him to a state of his choosing to finish high school and experience life on his own) (yes they spy on him through Swansea)

Clicks with Anya instantly when he find out they both just moved to the state the same year. Quickly finds out she's a little bit of a goody-two-shoes (he changes his)

ANYA MUSUME

Picked up bass when she was 13 when she started listening to music. Honestly, she felt bass was a super underrated instrument (and that it was harder to pick up than other instruments). Her dad bought her first bass!

It's been Anya and her father for as long as she could remember. Her mom stayed behind in their home country (I'll figure it out) as they all planned to move to America, but she never made it to them. She suddenly became ill and passed away. This all happened when Anya was very young, so she has little memory of it. But her father does break down when she names her bass after her mom :)

Her and her father moved to a different state during her senior year of high school for reasons unknown to her. Sometimes she overheard hushed phone calls in the kitchen, or notices his shifting eyes in public spaces.

She meets Daisuke in a business studies class and the two take on the first few weeks of school together! It's not until Daisuke tells her that there's someone on campus that sells the good shit and they agree to meet at the dealer's spot that they meet Jimmy and Curly!

Curly and Daisuke have Gym at the same time, so that interaction was nice ("Word?" "Word." "I didn't know you were chill like that.")

The four of them hang out plenty after that!

SWANSEA (LASTNAME?)- Manager (I COULDNT FIND A GOOD PICCREW IM SORRY :(

Part of Pony Express Record's staff of managers. They refuse to hire more, so usually managers are looking after two or more bands at a time. This is also true for Swansea!

Daisuke's parents call in a favor he's owed them for some time, and of course it's for their precious baby boy. And of course he can't say no

He oversee's Tulpar's progress as a unit, coaches them individually on what industry standards are for musicians and then as a group for synergy, blending, and other factors that could risk their signing.

No matter how many times Swansea tells Jimmy his shit wont fly at P.E Records, Jimmy writes what he wants anyways. And the band rallies behind him. And somehow it fucking works

On top of being Tulpar's manager, he also kinda becomes Daisuke's babysitter (on his parents wishes. "Well, you're going to be over there anyways! I don't see the big deal in reporting back to us about what he's- how he's doing :)")

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar- Band Au playlist expansions (27-37)

Obligatory playlist here, and master list here (when I upload that)

Im still working on the meat of the story, I'm just very stuck on where to start :) anyways- song explanations! weee!

I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead (Set It Off)- Curly writes this after a particularly hard night of insomnia. In an almost manic state he scribbles out the vague concept, bangs on the drums in an attempt to keep time (he can't find the metronome that's on the shelf literally right above him. Just look a little to the up, Curly). In his sleepless state he thinks he’s the first pioneer to find gold. In the morning when he’s finally slept, he almost throws the mess of whatever alphabet he must have chosen last night away. 

Daisuke finds it crumpled on the floor the next day when they show up for practice and asks about it. Curly gets embarrassed and says it's nothing. He couldn't sleep last night and he was just delirious. (YES he’s drinking coffee as he says this). Dai insists they develop this and they do! It goes on their first official album

Black in Every Color (Happy Hour)- Another one of Curly and Jimmy’s early songs. Writing this was how Jimmy found out that Curly has amazing vocal range, and how Curly found out Jimmy could scream. Curly hadn’t really heard Jimmy’s vocals until then as Jim had let Curly do all the singing when they sat down to write and practice. Jimmy has perfect pitch, so he knows exactly how he wants his songs to sound like. Curly has great training, so he could almost always deliver

Drugs (cheridomingo)- Curly writes this one during Jimmy’s disappearance. It becomes part of the album they release during this time. He knows that Jimmy is getting into trouble, doing drugs and god know what else to go out with a bang. 

He can't stand knowing Jimmy may be dying in someone’s coked-out arms. If it has to happen this way, why can't it be with him?

Left Behind (Slipknot)- It’s in Jimmy’s journal. What ELSE can I say fellers. It does carry into Tulpar’s professional career though!

Kill Rock And Roll (System of A Down)- part of Tulapr’s first concept album before Anya and Dai joined. One of the first Jimmy and Curly ever wrote together. When they were tired of working on Ængus they would turn to this one and hop between a few others when inspiration withheld them. Jimmy really wants to do harmonies and they look great on paper, but when the two try and execute it for the first time, they both get confused and try to match the other’s pitch. It takes many tries for them to get the first part, and many many tries after to maintain it. By the time they graduate and greet Dai and Anya into the fold, it becomes part of their practice rounds. 

Sugar (System Of  A Down)- Jimmy writes this one Senior year of high school. When he presents it to the band they are………. Only a little concerned. Curly reassures them that Jimmy is harmless and what he writes he doesn't really mean (He fully means it, but as long as it’s written down then those impulses aren’t acted on. Most of the time. Sometimes. Usually. Guys just trust him--)

He does talk to his friend about kicking loved ones afterward, though. Just to be on the safe side. (Anya hates this song on bass, so her and Daisuke switch up)

Fuck the System (System of a Down)- In Jimmy’s notebook when he and Curly first start Tulpar. Its really hard for Curly to get the drums down when he’s learning so they table it for a while until Curly gets his skill up. When Dai and Anya are around (before they officially join), this song somehow comes up in conversation. (“It is SUCH basic syncopation, Curly- How do you not get this?”) Curly says he could never get the timing down. He playfully states it's because of Jimmy’s handwriting- Jim actually gets defensive about it (who saw this coming? I’m taking bets)- but when Dai takes a single look and rocks the drums no problem, Jimmy is forced to face the fact that they need a drummer that isn’t Curly. (“Hey, maybe Dai could do drums for us!” “You’re doing just fine, Curls.” “Jimmy, I don't like playing drums.” “WHAT?”)

Delusions of Saviour (Slayer)- No lyrics, but this is here because the band loves to use it as a warm-up. Dai works on keeping the beat, while Jimmy, Curly, and Anya warm up their fingers. Curly hums along to the tune, sometimes will do full vocal runs if they’re pushing for time. Jimmy likes to make up lyrics on the spot and mumble them while they’re warming up. [[This is the ONLY song on this playlist that remains the original artists- in this AU the bands still for sure exist, but those songs in particular are written and sung by Tulpar instead of that bad (Sorry, SOAD, your songs are my barbie’s now)]]

Still Waiting (Sum 41)- Another :) early song of Jimmy’s. He writes this around middle school as he slowly opens his eyes to the state of the world. Aaaaaand he channels his frustration over school getting suspended again. 

The Good Life (Three Days Grace)- Another one of Jimmy’s early songs. Him and his parents are living in the shittiest apartment known to man since they had to move on such short notice if they wanted Jimmy to stay on track. One day when it was another ‘fend-for-yourself’ dinner night, Jimmy decided not to bother in finding anything and wrote this song instead. It makes its debut as Tulpar’s song a little later into their concert career when they’re making profit on their music. Jimmy finally shares it, and Curly is surprised he’d share anything from the more personal sections of his journal, especially from that early on. Jimmy would never let Dai or Anya look at his journal even after they joined (but Curly got to look right away. hmm) and from that song forward he tried to be more open with his bandmates. (that quickly ends when dai accuses Jimmy of sleeping with his girlfriend because one song is a little too horny and describes the events of that night almost perfectly)

Last Resort (Papa Roach)- The last song Jimmy writes in his notebook before he disappears. It essentially becomes his suicide note and it’s what throws Curly into a panic. Curly can never bring himself to sing/rap/say the lyrics, when it comes time to perform it, Daisuke takes the lead on vocals. They’re simple enough to keep time with as he stays on drums and Curly has to focus hard on keeping the rights notes to keep himself from hearing Jimmy through Daisuke. 

[itsallmouthwashing]

Through Hell, Jimmy's Personal (Band AU Scene- Full)

Songs Used in Context (playlist here): MAYDAY (40), Through Hell (4), Ængus The Prize-Winning Hog (1)

Playlist Expansions (if you want more lore!) One, Two, Three

As results of my recent poll, here is Through Hell, Jimmy's Personal. I didn't realize that I put down a story that was supposed to be for the very end of the story on my poll, so for my own sanity I'm rearranging the timeline so accommodate and have something bigger- so this happened more toward the middle I suppose.

When I do the full-length fic, this scene may be a bit different, but for now this is how Jimmy's return from his bender goes. It's Tulpar's first concert after his return from his (first :)] bender, everyone is on the mend personally but Jimmy is still in his head about what he's done. (fellas, is this taking responsibility?) You'll find out more when we get there in the fic though :)

Please listen to Through Hell (below, or here) so you have a sense of what is going on musically in the story :)

_____P--L--E--A--S--E----E--N--J--O--Y______

It's a tradition in between some songs to showcase everyone and their talents. It gives us time to take a breather, drink water, clear our throats, whatever. Someone takes one for the team so the rest of us can recover, even if it's for exactly sixty seconds. Sometimes 70 if one of us really milks the whammy bar or if Daisuke gets a little too invested in his cymbal finish. Sometimes 75 if I get distracted when Curly wipes his mouth before rolling his shoulders and stretching his neck.

God, his neck.

“Please, give it up for MUSUME!” Curly announces with a flair of his arm.

It’s Anya’s turn. She starts playing a medley of riffs from our warm-ups, trying to keep the crowd juiced as we regroup mentally. Daisuke’s opening a water bottle for her and keeping it in one hand as he sips on the other. 

But she’s tired and sluggish on the stings. He attempts to do jazz hands and water from Anya’s full water bottle spills to the floor. It’s only a little off the top, but it’s enough for Daisuke to attempt shrinking into a moth and living his shortened days on the lightbulb above him.

Thirty seconds is what I give myself to down half the water bottle on the stool behind me. My hand shakes when I put it down, and fifteen seconds is what I give myself to take deep breaths. Five seconds to glance at the setlist in my head. Five seconds to rearrange my thoughts into the key. Another five seconds to breathe. 

Five. Four. Three-

Curly’s hands aren’t supposed to be there. If we just did Mayday, then Decline must be next, and those aren't the starting positions for Decline. I don't have time to double check, not even when Curly mumbles some sort of song introduction that I can't hear because the blood is pounding behind my eyes. Everything is too bright. Everything is too loud. This isn't how it’s supposed to go-

He takes a deep breath and adjusts his stance and it’s a miracle his legs aren't shaking beneath him. I recognize the crease in his brows when he closes his eyes and the hard look of determination to push through when he opens them. 

His hands pick softly at the strings of his guitar where we just finished shredding.

His insides are boiling.

They must be, because mine are too. 

“I’ve been through hell,”

No. 

There's no way. 

This song has been with me the whole time, how could-

“I’ll never be good enough for me.”

Why? 

Where did he find this? 

When could I have let it out of my sight?

“And none of my friends know what goes in my head,”

No, they never could. 

“I’m waiting for the only thing guaranteed.” 

No one but you.

When he points to me as the lights flash it’s enough to remind myself we’re on stage. Thousands of eyes are on me, following Curly’s magic touch as I scramble into place. The key is easy enough to switch gears to, but I feel it all in overdrive. Like someone’s hitting the gas in my mind and its pedal to the metal. Daisuke explodes on his drums, his sound piercing despite the earplugs. I feel the beat through the floor, through my feet, up through my bones and replacing my heart as the hammering in my chest. 

Despite the cheers and wild applause for the debut of a new song, it’s just the two of us. Me and Curly on this stage, in a room of thousands of empty chairs. In a room where the air is so thick it might swallow us whole.

I think I want it to.

“Been a while since I slept right, cause my darkest thoughts keep me up at night-” his eyes are sunken like they’ve always been, if not even more. I don't think he’s gotten much sleep since I've been gone, or since I've been back. 

Curly and his wired lapdog, one roaming the halls, doped out of his mind while his coward of a master was a good boy for teacher. I fought a lot of fights for him- fights that probably shouldn't have turned into fights. But a dog does not know why it bites, except when its purpose is to protect its charge. 

“But I faked a smile even in the end,” 

No one saw us for who we were.

Does he know it’s about us?

I’m staring at him. Most times I need to look down at my hands and find my place. But I see it now. 

It’s standing right in front of me, singing my deepest secrets to the world like they’re a silly joke. A new melody for the public to shape and mold to their own experiences, make love and art to. To be their truest self because it exists.

He shapes them now like clay, his thumbs caked in dried pottery and clothes blotted with water and his efforts. He’s standing from the wheel as he takes away the guards that once belonged to me, wiggle wire carving it from the place it was molded and gentle hands carrying it up and up and up. 

When I see myself through his eyes, that's all my secrets become: pottery.

Shareable. Breakable. Beautiful. 

“I've been through hell-” Just behind us is Daisuke now, smiling as he joins my chorus. When did he have the time to practice this, I realize. When did Anya? 

Anya and Curly join, back-to-back, smiling as they bring the melody up and down in waves that drag me along by knotted hair. I want the image of Curly’s sweat-damp face, smiling as he kills me softly, ingrained in my mind forever.

“Fill me up with a glass of rye until I’m drunk enough to forget,” 

Oh fuck. Dad. God, how could I forget the line about dad? 

A wave of grief hits me, grey and hollow like a ghost coming to haunt me. I watch it move toward me at lightning speed and pass through me just as quickly. And I can't reach back for it. I can't beg for it to brush my skin one more time so I could feel the sting again. 

Remind me that I loved them, I beg despite it.

“Either way I’m fucking screwed-” Curly’s voice snaps me back. He’s doing it now? He’s showing them now? We haven't practiced his screams in so long, I’ve been gone for so long, I’m worried he’ll forget the technique right in the middle. 

I don't know when I took over guitar, or when he took the mic off the stand, but his foot goes to the floor speaker, his silhouette making him an angel descending from the heavens, taking god's fearsome glow with him.

My power move, I realize. The one I taught him at the end of junior year. The one that makes you forget that you’re trying. The one that makes you feel invincible when the heat of the lights hit your skin, the one that makes the girls go crazy.

The one that screams I know what I’m doing. 

“I dont think happiness was meant for me, when all I ever do is seem to fucking complain, so let me be- You’re never gonna change me.”

He has enough time to look at me, smile at me, beam at me, even, before he returns to his blocking. He’s back with Anya for only a second before he’s at Daisuke’s side. He joins on the rise and fall, beaming at me, too, before falling deeper into his drums. 

Oh, fuck. Blocking.

The easiest to fall into is simply letting my hair cover my face and pretend I’m banging my head against the table of air in front of me. I don't know where to move. I don't know what to do with my body except stay frozen and feel everything happen beneath me while my fingers move off muscle-memory alone.

He was always too shy to practice without me and I wonder when he had the time to find a coach. 

But I know a good student studies outside of the classroom. 

I was his coach, I remember. And I abandoned him. 

Did he beg for me when I was gone? Would he scream and stop right in the middle to sob and cry and kick because I wasn't there to give him what he needed? Did he get up in the middle of the night to try again and throw Daisuke’s drumsticks against the wall when he screwed up? Did the garage door rattle with the sheer force of Curly’s pain? 

I think I have to believe he did. Otherwise, I wouldn't believe him if he said he did miss me. 

“I've been through-” Daisuke takes the lead on the chorus this time, letting Curly weave his vocals in like liquid gold on broken shards of a vase. They rise and fall like steady breathing through it all, and I think I need to talk to Daisuke after the show. He’s been holding out. 

I contemplate it, but suddenly don't have the time.

Everything falls silent. Daisuke and Anya and I are still, but Curly is moving his hand just enough to carry the melody. It floats to me in tangible half and quarter and sixteenth notes, all hitting my chest like I’m their staff and they’ve been ripped away from their place in me. 

He’s looking at me. He’s expecting me. 

They all are. Thousands of eyes and then some, stabbing me like I’m standing in a pit and it’s raining needles. 

The mic stands alone in the spotlight. I half expect that if I grab it there's going to be a giant boulder dropping down from behind me. The moment feels too perfectly curated for me; it all feels like a trap. Maybe a bucket of pig’s blood will come raining down instead.

But my hand is already on the stand. My other is grabbing the microphone. 

What am I doing? 

Setting yourself free.

Curly’s hand lifts, holding the pic I gave him when we graduated. Holding my beating heart in his fist. Holding our future in his fingertips. 

A grey pic with a T engraved on one side, the other with the image of a pig’s nose. 

It’s supposed to represent the first song we started and finished together, our finisher for every show, our good friend who struggled from the cranberry bog to bring us hope and life. Ængus, the Prize-Winning Hog.

The image itself is just a long circle with two lines in the middle.

But instead of Ængus, it’s just us again. Two lines in what feels like the vast, infinite space surrounding us. I gave it to him when I was sure it would be just us in Tulpar. Just us carving a name out of ourself in the rock-and-roll obsidian.

I never expected two other lines to rub away at the grooves carved deep into the space I put between me and the world. My only breach was sealed with foam, enough so that if anything punctured it from the inside, everything would come flying out. 

But then Daisuke. And then Anya. 

I’ve used my emergency supply and it wasn't enough. 

And then suddenly I was filled with holes. 

Curly’s hand goes down with Daisuke’s and it rings through me like the morning bell, suddenly reminding me I have somewhere to be. 

On stage. In front of my fans. 

Our fans-

“I've been through- HELL-”

-Screaming to anyone who’ll listen.

“-Faced all my demons,” Curly reminds me at my side. I realize I’ve taken his place on the speaker. My foot is up, guitar clinging to me by its strap and hands clasped around the microphone like a nun begging for forgiveness. In a way, I think I am.

“But I never made it back,” I reply. It's hard to scream when your throat is closing. 

Curly strides towards me as he builds the melody on his guitar. He’s smiling still, warm and loving and inviting. Like he’s welcoming me home. Like I really did make it back. A small leap off the speaker is enough to get me over to the mic stand and secure it in time to get my hands back to the neck of my guitar. 

Daisuke keeps to his own instrument as our voices collide into the chorus, crashing like oceans meeting for the first time since Pangea’s divorce. I want so badly for it to be our lips. I want him here and now on the stage, in front of God. In front of everyone.  

This angel is mine, and his salvation is my own.

When his voice goes just higher than mine, when our voices are the last thing to ring before the applause takes over, I know I don't want to leave again. I never want to leave the stage. I never want to bow-out or step away.

I never want to go through hell again.

He’s panting, we both are, and his chest is gleaming through the open buttons at the top of his button-down. It’s so sheer for a concert, but I guess breathable material is important, even when everyone in the crowd can see your tits from the nosebleeds. 

“Now… who wants to hear about our good friend, Ængus?” Curly asks when he notices we’ve been staring at each other for too long. The crowd cheers and Curly looks back to me, winking. I hope the audience can't tell the difference between sweat and tears.

[itsallmouthwashing]

hi :) here's a little bit from Clubs and Mouthwash, a scene from my band AU

_______P--L--E--A--S--E----E--N--J--O--Y_______

He takes too many paper towels from the dispenser and runs them under the water. They’re warm when the paper scrubs my arms. 

“You warmed up the water for me…”

It’s hard sitting down when you’re drunk. Everything is moving side-to-side even when I’m perfectly still.

“Hold still, Curls. You’re pulling away from me.”

“Psh, you’re pulling away from me-”

“Alright, let's get you sobered up. You’re not making sense anymore.”

At this bar there’s a mouthwash dispenser. I know because how else could he produce such a tiny cup from nowhere?

“Drink.”

An oasis appears where my mouth was once a desert. The flimsy paper cup feels like a shot glass in my hand and I down it like-so, tapping the edge of the sink in request for me. Jimmy laughs as he takes the cup from me and fills it again. 

I take another shot. He refills. I take another. He refills. Another. Refill. Another-

My throat burns as the taste of minty fresh alcohol. 

“Motherfucker!”

All Jimmy does is laugh as he collects more paper towels and wets them under the still-running water. This time they’re cold when he tends to the spill again. I shrink away from his touch, shivering.

“Cold…”

“Yeah, you’re fucked up, babe.”

I think I could set the paper towels on fire with just my skin. It’s alight, spreading across my body like wildfire and I need a helicopter filled with a giant bucket of water stat. 

“Hot,” I mumble.

“Yeah, I am,” he replies, scrubbing harder in an area on my forearm. I think someone wrote something down there.The hairs on my arm are getting tangled with each other. 

“Stop, hurts.”

“What? Don't be a big baby, Curly.”

He continues to scrub and my arm is on fire for a different reason now. 

Part of me wishes Malcom was cleaning me up instead of him.

“Malcolm…”

Jimmy stops working on my arm completely.

“Who’s Malcolm? That guy that bought you a drink?”

“Yeah, I think he put something in it-” I start reaching for my pockets to find the little umbrella he gave to me from his own drink. I find it, but when I look up Jimmy isnt there anymore. The room swims as I look to the door a little too quickly, but I see it’s still closing. 

Ah, shit.

Drunk Curly needs better words.

[itsallmouthwashing]

Hi happy new year here's band au angst WEEEEE

not really proof read, wanted to get some sort of something out for the new year and the scene came to me like a fever dream in the middle of Benadryl induced coma! RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH ANGST!

CW: drug abuse mention, suicide mention

Word Count: ~1.2k

Anya might be OOC but its an AU whatever WEE!

____P--L--E--A--S--E----E--N--J--O--Y____

“Where have you been-?” Anya shouts from the door.

“I said no questions, Anya,” a stranger answers.

“Yeah, that was before I saw the sorry state you’re in!”

“Anya? Whats going on? Who’s at the door?” I shout from the kitchen.

“Fucking- JIMMY!”

Jimmy lets a notebook thud onto the table. The leather slaps the table like an angry hand, but Jimmy looks everything but that. His eyes are sunken and his face is formed almost perfectly to his skull. He’s so thin.

“Where have you been?”

“Anya-”

“No, Jimmy, I don't care about your ‘no questions’ bullshit! Where were you? We were worried sick!”

“Come on, Anya. When have I been the type to need worrying?” He tries to plaster on a winning smile, but it falls flat when his jaw clicks with the effort. He’s so weak, too.

“Well, I was pretty worried when you called from a payphone at three in the morning saying your final goodbyes.” 

Jimmy looks away, embarrassed and bruised. The blooming purple on his cheek is all I can see before his hair falls into his profile. 

“Daisuke was worried when you disappeared without a trace and he found your note on the garage door!”

His teeth catch his bottom lip.

“Grant was worried sick- when he was the last person to find out! He was the one shaking and crying and having panic attacks every single day because you decided to fuck off without us for a month and have all the hookers and blow you could get your grubby fucking paws on.”

She stands abruptly from the table and Jimmy catches the chair that falls with the speed. His eyes concentrate hard on the painted wood, laser engraving his racing thoughts with just his gaze. 

Look up. Please. Look at me.

“I can't look at you right now, James. You can expect that ‘no questions’ bullfuckery from Curly but not from me. You dont get to treat us like shit, fuck off for a month, and then come back expecting sympathy.”

“Hurt people, hurt people, Anya. Please, just try to understand-”

“And you-” Her head snaps up. “Jimmy chews us up, picks us out of his teeth for a month, and then begs for us to wedge ourselves back in there? And you’re the first one out of the trashcan?”

Her face holds our future and it's cracking. Pieces of her porcelain skin break away and fall like powder snow from a ledge. A small piece next to her eye chips and I'm too aware of the swords she's stabbing in my chest over and over again. I feel all 10 of them when she plunges and withdraws, over and over again to the beat of my hammering heart. It’s a wonder it hasn't stopped yet. 

“I haven't left this house in a month because Curly couldn't stand being alone. He couldn't stand not knowing where you were so he asked me to stay. Just until he comes back, he said. I didn't mind. I really didn't. I don’t.”

My stomach churns at her tone. She says it like she's going to stay. She says it like Jimmy isn't. She says it like it will happen again. She says it like Jimmy’s overdose is an inevitability. She says it like she knows I won’t handle it well when he does.

“So, for you to sit here, at his table, in his house, in our studio-” It’s now when her voice shakes. Her silent tears have already pasted strands of hair to her face and her hands are gripping the table so hard she’s shaking. Or she’s shaking so much she has to grip the table to keep steady. “For you to say that you don't need worrying about? It’s a slap in the face. To think of us as people who can't recognize the signs of someone who is deeply upset with their life. As if we can't recognize it in someone we spend almost every fucking day with? It doesnt take a genius to know when someone’s on the verge of suicide.”

He fiddles with the ends of his hoodie thats too thin for this kind of weather. I dont know how he got here, and I’m worries about the built-up moisture in his hair and on his shoulders. I hope he didn't walk here in the snow.

But it started snowing weeks before Jimmy left. Kept snowing right up until now. 

Where was he?

Was this all he had? 

“James, we have two months to present a new concept. Swansea already pulled strings to get it set back to a three month deadline instead of the one and a half we were given a week after you disappeared and in case you forgot- YOU are our song-writer.”

At least he’s found something to get him moving. His arm shoots out to raise the journal in the air, and Anya shares a look with me that wonders if he’s still on something. 

“Right here.”

“Okay?”

“I wrote a lot while I was… out-”

“Okay-”

“BUT! There’s a lot in here so I’m sure-”

“NO, JIMMY!” It’s the kind of yell that rips the throat. The kind that bounces off the walls and the echoes that are knocked loose live in the wood beams forever. The kind that wakes you up from your half-drugged state and makes your eyes go wide. “No, I’m not going to stand here and listen to your bullshit. Not right now, not until you can look me in the eyes and say that you will do. Better. I don’t need the solution to our career problems. This is about YOU and the things and people you were leaving behind! And you know what-” she straightens as her hands fly from the table and up in surrender. “That's a great idea, Anya! Leaving sounds perfect!”

Even when she gathers her coat from the couch and her bass from the garage, she makes sure to not slam the door or storm around. I almost wish she did so I could hear something echo through the dining room and then forever in my mind. I try to reach for her scream so I have some sort of noise to cling to. 

But it’s so silent. The whisps have made their nest in between the studs and drywall settled into the wood to hibernate. They don't want to be found. 

I’ve never heard Jimmy this quiet. 

I have to strangle the part of me that says I’m grateful, but I am when he places the journal back on the table and folds his hands in his lap. Finally, finally, he looks at me. The movements in his face are minimal, almost like he’s simply projecting the emote to me through thought alone, but he gives me a motion that says, Go ahead. Then, he looks away again. 

It’s firm and sticky in my hands. I don't know where the substance came from, and I’m not sure I want to know.

I’m not sure if I want to know.

“You still smoke?” I ask as I place the book back down.

“Not the habit I’m tryna kick.” He looks between the journal and me for some time. “So, sure.”

“I don't know what to do.”

“I don't know either, Curls.”

“What happened?”

He sighs. “Can I pull the no questions card?”

And I consider it. I turn the idea over in my hands and run my finger along its spine and tilt my head to see it from a different angle.

“I don’t know.”Anya was right is written on the bottom when I flip it upside-down.

[itsallmouthwashing]

Dear Diary, Someone Smashed My Guitar Today (Band AU- Chapter 1 snippet)

CW: depictions of violence, blood, use of f-slur

Word Count: ~2.2k

Highschool!Jimmy, Highschool!Curly, Angst, (physical)hurt/comfort, slight instant pining?

Im officially working on the first chapter for the band AU fic, but in the meantime here's a scene I've been working on from it (that ended up being almost the full thing WHOOPS!) :) please enjoy, reblog are so appreciated :)

Curly hears rumors of getting jumped after school

Jimmy hears them too

Jimmy gets there first and takes care of it

When Curly gets there, JImmy is covered in blood 

_____P--L--E--A--S--E----E--N--J--O--Y_____

There's blood on his shirt. It’s pooled at his neck line and trailing up like a river to its source: his bruised nose. I can't tell from this distance if it’s broken or not, but he’s looking at me through the slits of eyes like he’s cursing me. Like this is my fault. 

Maybe it is.

“Do we have a problem?” I try my best to sound tough, to not slide into the part of me that lightens the mood and eases the tension by joking. No, I need to make a name for myself. So this doesn't happen again. If they get me now, I’ll be dealing with it for the next four years, and I’ll be damned if I become the target again.

 My hands tighten at my sides and my leg starts bouncing without my permission. 

“Took care of it.” He sniffles and covers his mouth with the back of his hand to cover the wince that follows, but I hear it when he sucks in through his teeth. Blood drips from his face to the ground and that's when I see the spatters on the concrete. Pools and streaks and drops of crimson and deep mahogany. 

There’s so much-

The hand that’s shaking at his side is cut and bruised and dripping. I can't tell if the blood that falls is from him, or another’s come to join itself again in the pores of the pavement.

My lower half won't stay still. I’m fucking buzzing with energy. I think the steps I take towards him are involuntary. 

“I was told-?” to meet here. I was told to be at this exact curb at this exact time or there would be worse waiting for me tomorrow. His face is familiar to me now. A crooked piercing at the left side of his lip, greasy brown hair pasted to his forehead, deep brown eyes narrow and warning through the darkness of his cave. Prey that cross its gaping maw, beware. 

“Not today, no.” He dabs at the corner of his nose with his finger, pulling it away to see it covered in bright red blood. 

“What… Did you do?” 

“Like I said. Took care of it.” He wipes his nose with the back of his hand now, gingerly, just below his still leaking nostrils. Either he got hit, bad, or this happened just seconds before I got here. “We’re even, by the way.”

“You smashed my guitar last month.”

I laugh. I have to because the look in his eyes and the blood on his shirt and the bruises under his skin are overwhelming. The reality of the situation slowly creeps up my spine. My mind can't ignore the blood anymore. 

All he has to say in response is nothing at all. He just nods his head and blots the blood again with his other hand. I scramble to my pockets, pulling out the wad of tissues mother gave me this morning after a sneezing fit. She said something about being careful about the pollen this time of the season, but I think blood leaking from one’s nose is more important than some boogers. He looks at it for a while before looking back at me. 

Then, “We’re even.” He sniffles again but doesn't wince. He’s not looking away, and somehow I can't. “Come find me if someone gives you trouble again. But you’ll owe me.”

“I can handle myself- uh…”

He’s walking away. I want to yell at him to wait, but I hear police sirens in the distance and he does too. He’s sprinting now, down the street and taking a left and I forget that we’re only two blocks from our neighborhood. I think I start running too, because suddenly there’s wind on my face and air in my lungs and my legs are on fire. My feet are pounding on the pavement and they’re desperate to take me home. To follow. To get his name. He’s crossing the street onto the next that leads into our complex. My chest is on fire.

My chest is on fire.

I think I’ve been hit by a bus. I didn't look both ways before crossing the street and now I’m paying the price. The asphalt is rough, bits of rock and debris dug into my skin and slicing me open. But the road is smooth, almost like tile.

I don't remember his name. I know his face but I never got his-

A knee hits my jaw and knocks me over fully, and just before I close my eyes I watch a foot speed towards me. My hands fly to my head, my knees to my chest, my cries to the air.

“Come find me if these guys give you trouble again.” 

I can't get up. There’s two more feet to my back and another to my head and my legs aren't enough to protect from the one attacking my face. 

I didn't hear anything today. No one came to warn me. No one talked about it around anyone that mattered. 

Why is no one doing anything?

Camera flashes and iPhone’s recording. Beeps and whoops and subtle encouragement moving through the people like a lion through tall grass. Circling me, prowling, hungry.

I try to open my eyes, find anyone in the growing crowd who will look at me and do something. Anything. 

And there’s someone in the audience who’s already staring at me.

The same look of disdain and hatred for the world he held when my guitar laid in pieces between us. When my parents took us over to his apartment and I found out he lives just up the street from me. When his parents made him hand over the wad of cash himself to replace it. When he got to the curb seconds before me and saved me from this fate once before.

It’s not his face in the crowd, but all at once I remember something. 

“James,” I say when a foot connects with my sternum and I’m able to hide it between the hurk that’s forced out of me. I remember hearing it during attendance. Mr Peter’s voice calling out and his annoyed correction in response.

“Jimmy!” I call out, more desperate now. My chest hurts. I think one of my ribs might be broken and I suddenly remember we don't have insurance here yet and I’m sick for a new reason. 

“JIMMY!” It’s four-to-one and I can't move. It's dozens of people against four and no one moves. My throat is closing and my lungs are expanding into shards of bone and glass.

Uproarious laughter and humored mutters coat me like darkness. Someone’s Chucks connect with my jaw and the pop echoes in my ears. 

“Patheic fucking britt can't even fight for himself!” They punctuate with dropping to their knees and ripping my hands from my face. My eyes stay open now. I can't look away when the person smirking at me has blood on their face. Is that mine?

“JIMMY!” I’m crying now. I promised myself that no matter what happened I wouldn't cry at school but I'm sobbing into my shoulder, looking away and struggling to cover my head again like there’s mortar fire in the sky. I hear it’s whistling through the air as it finds me through the clouds and rains down like holy retribution. 

Except, it doesn’t. I don't get obliterated into pink mist, my body and self left to be wondered about and longed for by my loved ones. No, it’s the one on his knees behind my head, ramming his fist into my skull and not caring if his knuckle bones shattered in the process. 

There’s commotion around me, voices yelling and screaming and struggling and bouncing off the narrow hallway walls. People running away, hands lifting from my arms and head and the legs that caged me scatter. 

I have to blink to focus on what's happening in front of me. The hallway is empty now, save for three people. One of them is on the ground beside me holding his face in his hands and groaning. His blood leaks onto the floor and pools between us. Someone’s standing in front of me and I can't make out much but their silhouette and that of the person they have by the throat against the lockers. 

But everything’s blurry again. Something red drips into my vision and I think there may be blood in my eyes. I hear something drop to the floor with a thud and then someone picking me up by my arms. 

“Up, up. Come on, we need to get out of here-”

What? What's happening? The voice is so familiar but in my dazed state I can't search for it. In the depths of my mind I'm shaking in the corner and sobbing into my hands. My throat burns, and I can't tell if I'm holding back tears or if the sobs are ripping me apart on their own.

“Come on, work with me. One foot then the other. We need to go-”

I don't know when we get outside but we do. The F hallway is close enough to the exit for us to slip out quickly, I suppose. The air is crisp and light and cold on my open wounds. It’s only because of the chill that I know I have wounds. The sun hurts. Everything hurts. My head is pounding and, oh fuck, what if I have a concussion? I'll need to go to hospital, but how much is that here? Are there special rules for immigrants?

Are there worse rules?

He doesn't peel my dead weight off of him until we’re a few streets away from school. He places me down so I can sit on the transformer that's between someones’ property, and it’s only when he knees in front of me with searching eyes that I see who it is.

“You… came…” It’s hard to speak. It’s hard to breathe. I can't breathe. 

“Well, yeah,” he says. “You called.” He hands me a pack of cigarettes, offering a lighter in his other, and I don't know when he had the time to light his own. 

“We’re 13?”

“Yeah, I was nine when I started smoking. So,” he gestures them to me again.

Fuck it. This day can't get any worse.

He smiles when I take one from the pack. There were too many smokers in Bath, but I guess copying the masters isn't enough because when I go to light the cig I catch my finger instead. Jimmy’s watching me through it all. Probably to see if I'm a poser or not. But he snatches the lighter from me, looks at me like I’ve got to be kidding him, and gestures me forward. I try to move my neck closer to where his hand waits but wince when all my nerves pinch at once. He rolls his eyes and takes the stick from my lips, lights it, and hands it back to me.

“First smoke?”

“Yeah, thanks for the fag, I guess,” I laugh, feeling like we’re twenty years old outside of a nightclub and I need nicotine to chase the fire in my veins. He rushes up to his feet, suddenly towering over me.

"What did you call me?”

“Wh-what?”

“I’m gonna give you one chance, since you just got your ass handed to you.”

“I-I said, thanks for the fag? The- the cigarette?”

“Wha-?” He looks to the cig and then to me, then to the cig again, then back to me. 

“Uh, it’s just what we call cigarettes in the UK? I didn't mean anything by it- honest.”

“Oh. Kay. Uh… I knew that. Not used to hearing it in that context.”

“Sorry.”

“Just don't say that here. Ever.”

“What?”

“Fag. Or faggot. Just don't say it.”

“Right…”

“It’s like the n-word, ya know? It's just something you don't say.”

“You do realize that while you’re saying fag, you’re not sasying what the n-word is?”

“Okay, genius, you go around saying-.”

I choke on the exhale. It holds uncomfortable space in my throat and burns my sinuses with a feeling like an interrupted orgasm. I cough and sputter through the fire in my lungs, hack and spit into the grass when the charred feeling doesn't loosen. He actually says it. No cushion.

“You just said-”

He gives me a silent look as he takes a drag. Something tells me that someone else's reaction may be more visceral than mine. 

“Okay, whatever. I get your point.” He nods and looks away, letting his jaw hang open and letting the smoke pool out on its own like a lazy river. I don't know what it is about the sight of him blowing out smoke that makes me tingle. “Thanks for the cig, brah.” 

It’s not my best American accent, I’ll admit, but it gets him to look at me and crack the slightest of smiles. The chuckle he does blows the remaining smoke away, but the feeling remains. He shuffles in his pockets again, putting away the cigarettes and lighter and pulling out a black rectangle. He flips it to me and I’m not sure what to do with the phone that's suddenly in my lap. 

“Uh… not for me, is it?"

“Ha, no,” he scoffs, “Put your number in my phone. If I hear anything about those guys I’ll let you know. But I also need to reach you when I cash in my favor.”

He’s looking away again, hiding behind a curtain of thick brown hair and pretending to be interested in something on the block over. 

“Favor?”

“We were even last time. Now, you owe me.”

Oh, right. 

“I thought heroes didn't need payment for their good deeds.”

“Well, that's your first mistake. I’m not a hero." But what do you call the person who saves you life twice in the span of a season? What do you call the person who comes when you call? “‘D be nice though,” he inhales, sucks on the menthol taste stuck to the roof of his mouth, and says through the exhale, “To be someone’s hero.”

“You’re my hero. If that counts.” Ive been letting the cigarette burn between my fingers until now. The ash falls when I move it to my lips, and I can only take a baby hit before my mouth is burning, like I just swallowed unflavored mouthwash. The kind that's pure ethanol and none of the sweet. He chuckles, putting out the cigarette on the transformer. 

“Yeah, I bet your parents are heroes to you, too.” He leaps off and dusts the bottom of his jeans. “But they don't get you cigarettes after a rescue, do they? No, think that's more villain shit. Giving a kid cigs.”

“So, you’d rather be my villain?”

“I’d rather not be your anything, lad.” He attempts my accent and it's so shite I can't help but laugh.

“How about just being my friend, then?”

He shoves his hands in his back pockets and looks to the ground. Has no one ever asked him that before? Or am I just that shitty to be around? Am I just some kid who needs to be sheltered and protected to him?

Finally he looks back at me, but it’s at the worst time because I feel like I’m crying. Maybe he’s ignoring it, or maybe he doesn't care, or maybe I’m not crying at all. But he smiles and grabs his phone from my lap.

“How about being someone that owes me a favor?”

I smile too. I don't think he means it, not really, cause he can't stop smiling. Even when I hand his phone back. Even when he walks me back to the complex. Even when I invite him in and he declines. Even when he turns his back to me to walk to his building. 

[itsallmouthwashing]

Band Au interaction I just thought of

Context: Jimmy often uses songwriting as a way to vent and really get his feelings off his chest. (Sometimes it's just dramatic, but Curly can never really tell)

Tulpar: playing Sugar (System of a Down)

Jimmy: I play Russian roulette everyday, a mans sport! With a bullet called life Curly, concerned: yeah, mama, called life........... Jimmy: I got a gun the otherday from Sako, it’s cute! Fit’s right in my pocket Curly, shaking: yeah, right in my pocket............... Jimmy: My girl she lashes out at me sometimes and I just FUCKING kicker and then- oh, baby! She’s okay! Curly, now on the other side of the room: Sugar!....................

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar (Band Au) Playlist Expansion- Part 3

I can't fix the bullet points im sorry :)

As a late holiday gift, here's the next bunch of song expansions from the Tulapr Band AU playlist that correlates with the AU Im writing! Please enjoy 10 SONGS and the bit of story that goes with it. I'm gonna try and get these stories out, but im also on the fence if I want to do a full fic before I dive too deep on any details :)

Decline (Wide Ire)- A song Jimmy writes during one of his benders, before he goes missing. Of course he’s drinking as he writes it, and at one point he spills his glass of un-iced whisky on the pages, causing the illusion of his letters tumbling down the lines. He scraps it all, sparks a bowl, and starts writing. Sometimes, it’s the only state his creativity allows. As long as he’s high, he can write whatever comes to mind and still have it be coherent the next day. He feels fine as he jots it all down, happy, even. But when he tries to edit it in the morning, he can't touch it for weeks. He paralyzes himself with the need to get high and the need to do better. He gets so overwhelmed that he eventually needs to smoke to calm down

Make Believe (Memphis May Fire)- After a particularly bad break, Curly questions his sanity. The stress is piling on, Jimmy’s still missing, and he’s slowly losing his grip on everything. He works on the song by himself, turning to it when he needs to focus on something in his control. Sometimes he sings it under his breath as a way to ground himself. He know’s it’s his. He knows the reasons these words are in his head, and in a way it brings him back to reality.

When he screams, he screams for hope. Something, anything, to guide him out of the fucking darkness. He has a new way of dissociating: seeing himself in a music video. He feels himself in a tight black box, free to its whims of tossing him in any direction. He feels the cgi on his skin when he fades in and out of frame through another dimension’s video editor. Each time, he reaches for Jimmy. Each time, he hopes he’ll be there on the other side. Each time, he's not there to catch him when Curly falls deeper into the pits of despair. 

Psycho (When I Wake Up) (The Wildlife)- Jimmy’s stupid pinning fucking ass. Before he confesses to Curly. He writes it at the end of freshman year of college when things really kick off with P.E Records. When he fully realizes his feelings for Curly. P.E Records is suddenly demanding a ballot, the band finds it, (“How THE FUCK ARE THE DOING THAT!”) or Jimmy volunteers it when Swansea turns down all their other attempts. Curly is the one that sings it, and it does something irreversible to Jimmy’s heart. 

Jimmy performs this song at an open mic night. Curly follows him, as he has the habit of doing so now, and watches as Jimmy stares right at him in his usual hiding place at the bar. He doesn't break eye-contact, even as Jimmy walks out the side door. But when Curly follows him outside, Jimmy suddenly can't look at him (IM GONNA WRITE IT!!!)

Fine! (Public Theater)- Curly’s stupid pinning fucking ass. Curly writes this after he drops out in Sophomore year to focus harder on their music after they’re signed. He tries to convince himself it's about his band and the people he tries so hard to protect, but he finds when he performs it for the first time he realizes that its about Jimmy. Its always been about Jimmy. He plays it off like it’s a representation of the anxiety they’re all feeling suddenly beginning a career in music, and the story takes. But Curly knows. (Swansea too but he’s too old for that shit lmao)

If You Think This Song Is About You, It Probably Is (Destroy, Rebuild Until God Shows)- Daisuke writes this one! He gets cheated on :( he finds out his partner was sneaking around with someone-- longer brown hair and piercings almost everywhere. Dai is convinced that it's Jimmy- And one day he shows up to practice pissed. Jimmy tries to be supportive, being the first one to ask what's wrong, but Dai explodes, seeing his opportunity to confront him. Jimmy is adamant it wasn't him, saying he was out that night, but his partner's house wasn't where he was. He refused to say where, (he was at Curlys. For gay reasons) and Dai takes it as further proof. Dai throws the first punch, Anya throws the last. She's the one that breaks it up and forces them in other rooms. . Too bad they have a concert that night! (I have ideas to write this out fully, ill update when I do!)

HAMMS IN A GLASS (Winona Fighter)- Anya sings this one on her centric album. Written as a way to express her feelings about her studies and the stress she’s collapsing under (and written after she gets pulled over lmao). She mainly workshops it with Dai before it’s concert-ready. This happens a littler after finals week (not exactly sure in the timeline) and swansea demand the polish it ans get him the finished version at the end of the week. 

The music video is the second released under P.E Records and gets a great buzz going for the name Tulpar. Theri first album only had the budget for one music video, and that was (one ill figure out later sorry)

Mind Rider (Hail The Sun)- A song Jimmy wrote one day when he was feeling particularly horny and lonely. He fantasizes about Curly cheating on his girlfriend with him and has to take (many) pauses to rub one out in the writing process. One day the band finds it (“how the fuck do they keep doing that?? Gotta stop keeping my scraps out even if I wont care for them in the morning”),and knowing their fans are getting increasingly thirsty and would love a sexy song (hi, I’m fans) they polish it and Swansea approves it with no notes (does it help that Curly really plays into it? Why is he so focused on moving his hips?) (I understand the voice of the original singer doesn't really fit Curly or Jimmy, but by god is it a sexy song and the worms demand association) 

Sell My Heart (Whale Bones)- Curly writes this one while Jimmy is missing. He's pining, he's lonely, he's missing his best friend. It's part of the album that becomes a desperate plea for Jimmy to just come back to him. Come back to everything they've been working towards. Come back to me, please. I can't live without my heart. 

The Pantaloon (Twenty-One Pilots)- A song Jimmy wrote when he was younger about his complicated relationship with family. (TOP song is here cause Tulapr started as just two fucking dudes and yes TOP is the model). His parents were separated, in the process of a divorce (or at least really contemplating it), and his dad would never show up for their scheduled outings. He wrote this song on the curb outside of his family apartment and worked on harmonies until the sun set and the air chilled his fingertips enough he couldn't write without it hurting. 

He revisits it after his parent’s death. He’s going through a box of his old things they packed away to make space for an office. In it were a few of his old song-journals and in those journals were the desperate pleas of a child left to find his parents' love somewhere else. They were always too enamored with each other to pay attention to the things they were leaving behind

Shreddy vs Margeret (Ü Blue)- One of the last song’s Jimmy and Curly sing together before Jimmy goes missing :)

Cave In (I The Mighty)- Dai, Anya, Curly, AND Swansea wrote this one after Jimmy disappears. He’s struggling with addiction, pushing everyone he loves away, and limping off into the woods to die like an animal. It’s been years since anyone has seen him and they’re all so desperate for answers they release the song so that by some grace of God he’d show back up. And one day he does. He barges in during practice, sweaty and wet and feeling like a landfill. But they don't care as they all rush to hug him. Anya cries, Daisuke does too, Swansea’s sobbing by himself because he puts himself in Jimmy’s shoes. What if that was him? What if that was Swansea that ran off all those years ago instead of getting sober? He doesn't know if he’s sobbing from relief, or if its because deep down he does wish it was him- except he wishes nothing brought him back. Curly is the only one that doesn’t cry (at least not in front of everyone else) but lets it all out when he takes Jimmy home to clean up and rest. Buuuuut not before Jimmy fucking faints and they take him to the hospital instead [dont worry, ya’ll’ll get your fix in a while :)))]

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar (JimCurl Band AU) Playslist Expansions

Playlist here, Part Two here

I'm doing more than 5 for my first post on this because by god the WORMS. I'll try to do these consistently so we're all on the same page

Content warning for: mentions of assault, mentions of parent death, drug abuse, VERY ooc characters

1.) Kiss Me (Crawlers)- In between her studies, Anya has a hard time processing the feelings of her recent assault. Her boyfriend isn’t treating her well, overall uses her for sex when he’s pent up or stressed or whatever excuse he has for why he needs his dick sucked that night. One night she’s continuing to say no. Her boyfriend proposes a drink to cap off the night and drugs her, rapes her, and breaks up with her. She can't come forward about the assault for reasons (i haven't figured out whoops). It’s the song she performs for Jimmy to ‘prove her worth.’ She plays her own bass, does her own vocals, and Dai is on drums before his own audition (Curly lowkey helped her revise the song and work through it. Sometimes she would cry to him during the process and he would just hold her. When she auditions for Tulpar, it’s the first time she doesn’t cry when she sings the song.)

It really hits Jimmy in the heart as many of his ‘friends’ (people he felt close to but those people really didn’t want to be around him) had experienced or took care of others who were victims. Of course he tries to push these feelings aside and judge the song fairly (girl, it’s a banger, let her IN), and he convinces himself that his approval had nothing to do with the topic (it didn’t really, it was a banger)

2.) Ængus The Prize-Winning Hog (The Toxhards)- A silly song Curly wrote with Jimmy at the beginning of their Tulpar ventures. They passed it around back and forth between classes when they were together. One time they got caught passing notes and the teacher read the lines out loud. She really laid into them, accusing them of taking drugs and scribbling nonsense (Jimmy was also known for passing around bud at school if other kids asked for it. Curly got him to cut that shit out at school senior year but was convinced by Jimmy to keep getting bud for them and Dai and Aynya.)

It becomes their closing song when Tulpar goes pro and signs with Pony Express Records. Anya and Dai do chorus vocals!

3.) Be Careful What You Wish For (Bad Omens)- In return for Jimmy teaching screams, Curly teaches Jimmy to sing! This is a song Jimmy wrote after he apologized to Anya and Dai and Curly for the way he’d been treating them. Still on the fence about therapy but feeling heavy with his thoughts and feelings about what he’d done. He refuses to let Curly see it or workshop it with him (he tries to hide the fact that he’s writing at all) Instead, he comes to Dai and Anya! He performs his first draft for them, can't help but cry afterward and they give him hugs for a while. They workshop a little after he calms down. It’s almost never performance ready because Jimmy can't help but tear up after he sings it, but when Curly convinces him to sing at one of their larger concerts he still cries but the crowd is so enthusiastic about his performance and emotion that he starts t feel it doesn’t matter if he does cry on stage :)

4.) Through Hell (Melrose Avenue)- A song that Jimmy’s kept private for all of his life. Songwriting was a way for him to cope and process his feelings for as long as he could remember, and this song had been with him through the beginning. One day Curly and the crew find it and decide to surprise him during one of their concerts by learning it and performing it. Curly does the entire song! Jimmy joins in with his own screams and vocals at 2:28, and they sing the song together from there :)))))) Dai does background vocals throughout the whole song, so he’s the one singing along at the start. 

The whole time Jimmy is trying to keep up on his guitar- he knows the song by heart, but seeing his friends performing a song so so dear to him makes him feel whole. (Maybe canon Jimmy would find it disrespectful and get pissed. But this barbie thinks its moving)

5.) Vampire By Rumor (TX2)- Honestly this song is only on here cause I can't get the image of Daisuke doing this song as a halloween special “concert only” song for the fans. He’s dresses as a vampire, Jimmy is a zombie (he forgot about the song bit entirely, green and purple face paint was somehow on hand and he didn’t mind ripping holes in his shirt and jeans (said the fans go wild for the skin)), Curly is a cowboy (OF COURSE), and Anya dresses in bloody scrubs ("It's still in theme!" she argued when Jimmy pointed out it wasn't really a costume). Swansea even joins in the fun by dressing up! (he pins a paper scrap that says "costume" on his tech blacks)

6.) Forgotten (The Plot In You)- For sure one of their heaviest songs and Jimmy takes the lead. He wrote it after many years of processing his parents death. For a time he turned to drugs to cope with everything he was feelings, and after starting therapy and medication he wrote this song as a subtle promise to himself and their fans that he would stay clean

7.) At My Back (Madds Buckley)- The song Anya sings at Jimmy and Curly’s wedding :) Dai does ukulele and Anya does the drums as she sings :) 

8.) Gut Punch/Don’t Meet Your Idols (Everybody’s Worried About Owen)- Another song in the many Jimmy wrote after his parent’s deaths. Written after he apologizes to Anya and Dai. He performs it at a local open mic that (coincidentally) Anya, Dai, and Curly are at for drinks and to vent. The ‘idol’ in this context would be his dad. The crew agrees to keep it secret that they saw him, but end up being the loudest when he finishes. Thankfully he doesn’t notice them and thinks he’s just hearing things

9.) hover like a GODDESS (WILLOW)- Anya wrote this after a crazy hook-up with a girl at a bar. She realizes she’s queer and FULLY embraces it. Tulpar does an Anya-centric album 

10.) she knows it (Maggie Lindemann)- Another song Anya wrote and sings. Curly gets a girlfriend and Anya is falling head-over-heels for her (while Jimmy is getting so frustrated that Curly is with someone else). Depending on how long the relationship goes on for Anya tries not to stare at her while she sings but can't help it. Jimmy can't help but look at Curly