#jfc this was not what i had intended to write but i can’t help myself 🥴

[eiilleen]

part 1: andriod!aemond who has been in service to the targaryen family for two hundred years. he’s seen the birth and death of many generations and the great expanse of the house targaryen’s influence in the galaxy.

what was once common knowledge of his origins has been lost to time, even for targaryen’s and their great archives of knowledge and histories of the known universe. aemond was created in the image of duchess alient’s son who was taken at the age of ten and nine by a tragedy. an accident, some who conserved freely with aemond over the years, had confided in him. aemond recalls the memory data of his activation as vividly as he can the previous day.

instead of being a comfort to the mourning duchess, the andriod proved to be a stark reminder of what she lost. it escalated to the point alicent could no longer bear the sight of her son’s doppelgänger, who mimicked his likeness even in mannerism and speech. she had threatened to decommission him in one fight of hysteria. aemond was restricted to the palaces archives where which he stayed for six years which rarely a glimpse of his masters.

aemond did not mind. he nether had the capacity to take offence nor have any human response to the duchesses dislike of him. he would not argue however, that he had a preference. with so much acknowledge at his finger tips, he was never without something to read and learn. and learn he did. from languages to the microscopic makeup of known worlds, he absorbed every within the archive. this proved to be his ticket

the duke, viserys, and husband to alient, had died. his first born, the now duchess rhaenyra, became head of the house and thus continued this political expanse. it became known of aemond’s considerable wealth of knowledge and he was relieved of his confinement to became an advisor upon rhaenyra’s flag ship.

it was there that he met for the first time, lord lucerys of house velaryon. second son of rhaenrya and successor to the blue moon and seat of house velayron in the death of his grandfather, duke corlys velaryon.

aemond found himself immediately inquisitive of the boy and quickly determined it was because they, for a lack of better explanation, shared a connection. for without his lordship, aemond would have never been commissioned. it was a strange phenomenon to watch the boy shy away from his presence. where the duchess alicent had been volatile, lucerys was nervous, afraid. guilt ridden. and aemond found these displays of human emotion fascinating.

[glittercracker]

Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor. 

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage? 

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

[the-ship-sails-itself]

The Ennui of Writing

Weirdly enough, have been writing quite a bit for being someone filled with something like ennui in regards writing.

I don’t feel like writing.

But I am in fact writing.

I dislike almost everything I’ve written.

Also, still grappling with wordcount envy.

On a good day I struggle to make a chapter hit 1000 words.

Have come up with a number of new ideas.

They all sound either too stupid or too exhausting to write.

Multi-chapter, multiple installments in a series... ugh.

Every idea I’ve had recently devolved into them banging when I started writing it out.

Even the ones I didn’t intend to go higher than a T-rating.

Don’t feel like posting anything saxy at the moment.

As in I feel more than reluctance.

Almost like I feel... disappointed in myself for writing the way I do.

I feel like there’s plenty of that content up as it is.  I don’t feel I need  to be contributing atm.

I have this weird suspicion that folks out there might be wishing I *wouldn’t* contribute so much smut.

I don’t even like how i write that stuff most of the time.

I get concerned that my smut writing is trite.

Reads as unrealistic.

Reads as unsexy

Reads like it has no understanding of human anatomy much less the anatomy involved with such activities.

Reads like maybe I’m failing to grasp either of the characters’ voices.

I seem to be in the minority when it comes to like 90% of my opinions regarding the characters I write about.

Based on all the fic I’ve read.

Am I really getting them *that* wrong?

My dialogue sounds different.

Do I just not know how people talk?

Do *I* not know how to talk?

jfc do I sound like some weird ass robot when I talk irl???

My motivations for the characters re: plot and sex sounds different.

Am I writing either or both characters as too soft?

Would Macy actually be that soft or caring towards Harry?  

Is she even the comforting type?  

Am I just projecting what I want her to be vs how she’s actually portrayed in canon? 

(Macy at the end of 1.10 makes me wonder)

Too angry? 

Too uptight?

Should Macy have a looser voice and use more modern-ish slang?

Not uptight enough?

Do I write Harry as not formal enough in the way that he speaks?

And back to the dialogue: How shitty am I at making Harry sound British?

Am I using slang wrong?

Is there any native UK English speaker out there that can help a shitty fanfic writer out?

Most of the time I just can’t find a properly british way to have Harry get angry at himself and call himself terrible names.

I’m not trying to be competitive but I feel like even If I did want to write smut I’d have to up my game big time given what’s already been posted.

And just don’t have it in me to even go looking for my A-game, much less bringing it anywhere...

god, just the idea of trying to come up with a satisfying/original way to write vanilla sex just fills me with dread and a need for a sad panda nap.

I had this whole saga planned that was almost all kink/fet/smut but now I’m just like...

I feel like people are tired of me writing this stuff.

That could be a projection.

Maybe I’m just tired of me writing this stuff...

There’s already way better and wilder stuff out there. 

Me adding to the pile... 

(yes, i’m aware of the Two Cakes argument)

I want to work on my WIPs

All the next chapters of all my WIPs have mature content.

I don’t feel like posting that kind of content right now.

Like there seems to be a lot.

And, yes, I’m aware I contributed quite a bit to that number

But for some reason, while I don’t care if the numbers continue to go up, I, just for right now, don’t want to be the reason they go up.

I don’t want smut to be my main thing.

And, again, I’m not even sure if I do it well or how I could improve.

I’m kind of scared to think about it.

Probably in the same vein as an actor that doesn’t want to be pigeonholed as a sci-fi baddie or girl who gets kidnapped or hot guy who is also an unlikable douchebag or lady cop/lawyer/doctor who is always wrong or mistaken despite heart being in the right place.

Even the unpublished WIPs I started last year are languishing in the shame folder due to my sudden smut writing related reluctance.

I’m being unreasonably picky with my pre-writing requirements

printouts of outlines

hand written outlines

snacks and beverages

just the right music

etc

I want to write fluff

Sadly no fluffy ideas come to mind.

Hacy week prompts are giving me ideas but again...

those ideas are mainly awful and/or y’know...

I’m just making myself sadder and more annoyed with myself.  

Good gravy this was a long ass pity party.

I’m gonna go to bed.

I hope you all don’t find it too annoying if I start posting stupid little single or double drabbles in the next few days.

(gonna assume it’d be pretty hard to write people banging in less than two-hundred words or even a hundred.)

[lookwhatilost]

breadtube types love to think that every proud boy kind of dude was, at some point, 1 good conversation away from leaning left at some angle, fully ignoring the elephant in the room – their dad's failing small business they feel entitled to inherit bc they're NOT working class.

to me, the big question is why are the breadtubers so afraid of drawing a line in the sand? why are they afraid of the possibility (inevitability) of irreconcilable material interests? have they never worked fast food or retail? this shit is so obvious. nazis are pretty much all rich. and if they're not "cash rich" they're property rich, which actually is not a lesser kind of rich. they stand to inherit something, a business or some rentals etc. if they're not part of haute bourgeoisie they're part of petit bourgeoisie which, it turns out, is still the bourgeoisie.

idk why i expose myself to this garbage. i hate anything even marginally sympathetic to these pieces of shit. if a white person whose only difference from them is sexual orientation & gender can turn out like me, it's pretty clear what the problem is so fuck any angle on how they're actually innocent uwu. ultimately i find it so offensive & fash-sympathetic (thus fascist) to say only thing separating me from them is ideology. yeah okay w/e we're all cis people etc, but they dnt work for a living, and if you ignore that shit you legitimize their framing of themselves as normal. if you rly want to pull people in that minuscule population of fence-riders leftwards in a meaningful sense you'd make them confront the fact that their class is condemned to die by history & their only hope is to betray it. if they can't agree to that, what use are they to us?

the lack of instrumental thinking is epidemic in rhetoric-obsessed communities. what utility comes from delivering another slur-vomiting cracker parroting chan memes to The Left? we have to constantly police the mf? we hold his hand until he predictably becomes an "ex-sjw"? sometimes (usually) the people who are engaged and on the border enough that they "might" have "potentially" become reluctant communists are best used as fertilizer for the gardens that provide employment to the people we serve who never ever considered being goddamn nazis.

if you insist on climbing all the way down into hell to rescue a few of the demons, you simply cannot come back to earth pretending you brought us angels, much less that you have not experienced, yourself, why they wanted to be in hell. it's silly vestigial christian cultural bullshit to see any kind of value in rescuing a fascist from themself. in practical reality, you are simply forcing naturally decent people to put up with indefinite burden of a whiny shit whose life helps working ppl less than their death. happy to agree that "privilege" analysis provides a decent framework for priority. all else being equal a more marginalized person makes for a "more revolutionary" leader, etc. this is not reconcilable with the opinion that we should recruit reluctant defectors from enemy classes as active members, much less leaders, of our orgs. idk where the pathological desire to win the enemy over comes from but it is absolutely suicidal. regardless of the organization in question, any people who joined it reluctantly should be paying their dues, not defining the agenda

you could prob convince Logic/Reason Leftists of practical immutability of material interest if you had data on nazis being wealthy but of course they trust nazis' self-reporting & nazis always do stonetoss shit linking their own lawyer-son asses to off-color construction workers. and i’m using using "nazi" ~liberally~ in this offhand opinion, bc to me, any settler-colonial fascist is a nazi, and anything that would make them "more like", idk, an italian neo-fascist, is mostly a reminder of how bad the italians failed at their settler-colonial aims, so who gives a fuck.

thanks for reading or at least tolerating the existence of this rambling stream of consciousness. i would have written a real essay with sources and arguments for everyone's edification, but i have neither the capacity for focus to write one nor the desire to publish it.

(for reference, here is a commonly-recommended video that exemplifies the empathetic zoological economically-agnostic oh-shucks-he's-just-a-sad-normal-white-boy-he-is narrative of how a young man in north america becomes a literal brownshirt nazi)

note specifically where the narrator talks abt how "far right thought leaders" may not "see themselves as" or "intend to become" such "far right thought leaders" but are ~merely~ shills for consumer products "incidentally" popular among "alt-righters". also key to this video's reconstruction of online fascist indoctrination is "politics as a set of affects, not a set of beliefs", as thought "affects" of online nazis like stefan molyneux, blaire white, etc are universally disarming, that they wouldn't seem "off" to "normal" ppl. this necessarily defines "normal" people as people in a position to ~discover blatantly white nationalist arguments w unblemished curiosity, people w no awareness of the existence of white nationalism per se - i.e. it accepts as ~normal those "white people w only white friends". the creator also describes a feedback loop wherein grifters become "radicalized" by audiences, chasing engagement etc. this is bullshit, obviously. they're not children. they're grown-ass fascists full of superficial hatred w economic bases, who should be in re-education camps at best.

at several points in nominally(?) anti-fascist narrative of "gabe" narrator describes communities where "minorities" are welcomed insofar as they avoid "identity politics". i get maybe some people can't relate to psychology of fascists but such description can only normalize it. this description necessarily frames addressing of issues of e.g. representation that affect such minorities within such interest communities as something that genuinely, in some sense, diverges from the status quo. as though at some point their marginalization was uncontroversial.

like clockwork, this angle on "alt-right" takes as axiom that communities from which "alt-right" recruits were 1st non-ideological, that fascists represent incursion of ideology &, by implication, so do ppl they oppose. political battle encroaches on something magically apolitical.

later, the creator says 

nazis act "apolitical", dropping hints to divide "our community" from "the left" 

"the left" says "you have a nazi problem, y'all" 

nazis say "jfc have you seen this? they're calling us all nazis for liking thing" 

 how stupid do you think ppl are, dude

from this perspective, communities of consumer interest have some kind of linear basis, origin, development, etc. problem here is that they absolutely dnt. they're continuous & amorphous. also this is obv abt gamers/gg & plenty of us who "played games" had no hate for zoë quinn

[rkwendy]

Five Times Around The Sun: A Rookies Fifth Anniversary Special

Dear Rookies,

First of all, I’d like to wish the roleplay a happy fifth birthday! I’m aware that not many roleplays live to make it this far. For you guys to make it, I’ll bet it’s some sort of achievement. And it’s all because of the work both the mods and the members of the community put into this. Let’s give ourselves a round of applause!

I warn you that this is more than 5,500 words long. So yeah. You are free to just skip over this if you wish!

There’s so much I want to say, but I’ve never been great at expressing my feelings. (Fun fact: my mom and I start laughing whenever one of us starts getting cheesy or emotional.) I never even properly celebrated either muse’s anniversaries despite them being in Rookies for more than two years! Forgive me if this gets too long. I promise I’ll do my best to keep this concise (Wow, big word!)

With this knowledge, please bear with me as I struggle to convey all that I want to say without cringing at myself.

I guess it’s safest to start sharing the story of why I opted to join Rookies in the first place. Like majority of what happened to me in terms of KRP, it was a complete accident. I have been in KRP since 2011 (if any of you have heard of ADiS, then… yeah… shifty eyes). I kind of stopped roleplaying because a job with a newspaper was difficult af. (I only went home to shower and eat. I was lucky to be able to sleep, lbr here) Anyway, I needed something to do once I resigned from my old job, and my friends got me back into KRP via a Kingsman-themed one, since they wanted someone to RP Infinite with them. I think some of you know which one it is. /cackles/

MOVING ON. This same friend also planned to join the Rookies and wanted a ship for their muse. We both ended up doing applications, but I was the only one who was able to submit because my friend ended up getting a job. Thus, my friend was never able to join the RP and I got accepted.

A little history time! Please bear with me, this is going to be irrelevant to you but I feel like I need to talk about this. Fun fact I probably never told anyone! Wendy was originally meant to be a Krystal muse. However, I had to make a few adjustments because there was either a Krystal reserve or there was a Krystal muse in the RP. I can’t remember which one it was. The muse was loosely inspired by Berry Good’s Johyun and NCT Dream’s Jaemin, who both used to be competitive speed skaters before they became idols. I changed the sport to figure skating because that is the sport I know best. Wendy was also based on several friends of mine, who were all a bunch of somewhat pretty overachievers. (Going to one of the top universities in the country enables you to meet these people, more on that when I talk about Johnny later on.)

I’m not going to lie, this was the first time I was in a directory that was this HUGE. (Not even ADiS was this huge. Min, please correct me if I’m wrong.) It was easy for me to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in the directory, along with concerns that my muse was just going to drown among the many way more interesting muses than what I had to offer.

It would have been easier for me to quit, since the reason I joined was gone. However, Jen ( @yujurk ) turned out to be one of my friends from my Indie RP days! Not going to lie, if it wasn’t for Jen, I doubt I’d have stayed in the roleplay at all. Jen helped ease me into the roleplay in all ways imaginable: by plotting with me, introducing me to muns from the same timezone, and answering any questions in case our good mods weren’t online.

As I was navigating and slowly finding my place in the RP, the third season of the MGAs happened! Not going to lie, I wasn’t sure I was ready for Wendy to be signed, but I thought I might as well do it for the lulz. I know I said this a lot, but the MGAs were probably the among the wildest things I ever put a muse through that I swore that I was never putting another muse through it. Despite that, I’m glad I put Wendy through the experience. It taught her a lot about herself, as well as how far she was willing to push in order to achieve her dreams. At this point, I would like to give a shout-out to Team Nova! Wendy and I can’t imagine having any other teammates besides Jungwoo ( @jungwooxrk ), and the former Luhan ( who is still around as @rksoojung and is still one of Wendy’s loves ), Mijoo, and Soyou (RIP muses). Of course, Wendy owes Ricky ( @rkrxcky ) a lot for leading her to where she is today. Thanks you guys.

After the MGAs, Wendy signed with Nova. I’d like to thank everyone in the Nova family, both past and present, for putting up with this tiny girl who claims to be their future CEO. After two years with the company, Wendy has become (hopefully) an even better vocalist and composer. Sure, her dancing and charisma can use more work — scratch that, a lot more work — but we will get her to a level that’s passable. After all, if she intends to inherit the company someday, she has to do well in the department Nova is known for. I never thought Wendy would last this long as a trainee, but here we are. She could have easily left during Royal Survival, but she didn’t. OOC, the event happened when I was taking TOPIK so RIP. IC, the reason was because she believes in whatever plans Nova has for her (if there are any LMAO). Although she’s having second thoughts now, she’s still determined to see it through. She intends to inherit the company from Hyun Bin, so she has to stay. LOL.

To Minju ( @jinkyungxrk ), thank you for being one of the first to welcome Wendy to the company and making it easy for her to adjust to trainee life. Ani ( @rkmiya ), Wendy and Sunmi have made it! Can you all believe it took Wendy TWO FREAKING YEARS to get comfortable enough with Sunmi to call her unni? And can you all believe it took us around that long to actually plot properly? JFC we are both such snails. Matt ( @rksona ), wherever you are, Wendy will always consider Dawon as one of her Nova best friends. After all, they’re both vocalists who signed pretty close to the same time. To my fellow KRP senior citizen MC/Jae ( @sujirk ) (IDK which you prefer so I’ll use both), it’s nice to know there’s someone close to my age who’s still RP-ing too, despite feeling like that Will Smith meme when finding out how YOUNG some of these children are. And here’s to Wendy and Suji getting to know each other and becoming closer. Maddy ( @rkkaeun )… Where do I even begin? Wendy likes Kaeun a lot and is excited to see how Kaeun will grow, and I feel the same about you too. To Chaeyoung mun ( @rkchaeyoung ) (Honestly, I have no idea how you like to be called, so I shall refer to you as Sowon and Chaeyoung mun for now, I’m so sorry!) and Sunny ( @rkmeiqi ), Chaeyoung and Meiqi are special to Wendy because they are simply the first fellow 98-line girls to join Nova. To Neo ( @rkyngsun ), we have yet to talk a lot and plot more, but I’m grateful that you’re okay with Wendy going all Regina George on your girl. This is going to be a slightly slow burn ship before these vocalists become gay for each other in a way. But I just hope we stick together for this crazy ride. And Nana ( @hyunark ), with Hyuna signed to Nova, Wendy’s even happier than ever, despite feeling some occasional salt at their beloved CEO. Here’s to our girls writing more songs together~

To the boys of Nova, thank you all for being the best boys you can possibly be. To Jess ( @rkhuidong ), thank you having Hui be kind of like a dad/older brother to Wendy. Thank you for assuring her that she did the right thing even if she was punished for it. To Chanel, (OMG this is mention number 2, Chanel!) Ricky is Wendy’s coach and kind of mentor, as well as the fourth-wall reality check. To Lex (you better get used to this. I have a feeling you’ll be mentioned A LOT), our kids have gone through so much, haven’t they? The MGAs, surviving Nova, and a lot more. Wendy cares for Jungwoo a lot, and she hopes they can tough this out together. To Joi ( @bambamrk ), Wendy’s always admired how cool and nice he is. She hopes he’s happy. To Fifi  ( @haknyeonrk ), Circe ( @rkmbin ), and Lulu ( @rksxngyeol ), Wendy would love to get to know your boys all so much better. To Rome ( @rkromeo ), (the now-gone) Jinyoung, and (old) Kihyun, you will always be honorary Nova Boys to Wendy, no matter what.

To Roe ( @rkhugo @rkyooa @suhork ), Wendy wouldn’t let me lump Hugo with all the other boys of Nova. After all, Hugo is special. I’m grateful that Roe entrusted Hugo’s heart in Wendy’s inexperienced hands. I’m honored that Roe actually agreed to have Hugo go through a slow-burn ship, especially when I’m aware that she isn’t the most patient of people when it comes to that. Thank you for putting up with both Wendy’s lack of affection and her inexperience when it comes to relationships, and all the things she fears. Thank you again for putting up with my snail’s pace replies, but I want you to know it’s because I want to give Hugo the replies he deserves. The muse for this ship is alive and kicking, and I intend to keep it that way. Both Wendy and I love you and Hugo so much, Roe. LOL I spent so much time talking about Hugo that I forgot to mention how much both Wendy and Johnny also care about Yooa and Suho, but they do.

Now I’m on the topic of thanks to, I think I should also give a special shout-out to the girls of rkredvelet. Though we don’t talk as often as I’d like, I have to admit you were among the first to plot with me when I was new here. You are all Wendy’s best friends for life.

To Rose ( @rkyeri ): I like seeing you tweet about dancing and your takes on things. I also learn a lot from you! Your comments in the KT groupchat crack me up a lot as well. You’re doing amazing, bb! On a muse perspective, Yeri is one of Wendy’s oldest friends, going back from their days in Canada. Wendy just wants Yeri to know that she’s proud of her for being one step closer to her dreams. She’s also asking when she can start printing the Anna slogan.

To Keith ( @rkjxy ): Hoy, bakla. Other than being a ray of sunshine to both Wendy and me, thank you for everything. Just as Wendy and Joy have fun together anytime, anywhere, I like to think it can become something like that for us both. I love our discussions about local stuff and fandom. May mapapagraduate na ako! /cries proud mom tears/

To Kyle ( @seulgirk ): One of the true MVPs of my life. Just as I honestly have no idea where Wendy would be without Seulgi, I don’t want to imagine what would have happened to me if you hadn’t helped me out all those times. Seulgi is practically Wendy’s person. (LBR, if Hugo had to be threatened by anyone, it’s Seulgi.) I also enjoy commiserating over watching winter sports at godforsaken timeslots (one of these days, I’ll understand hockey enough), as well as listening to to you/reading your tweets discussing your muses/muse ideas. And those puns of yours give me so much life.  

Anyway, next up, I’d like to give a shoutout to rkbrosquad!!!! Honestly, having you guys made life a lot more colorful for me, as well as both my muses. I’m not going to lie, this is probably one of the first group chats I was ever in, in terms of KRP. It’s like my muses gained a new family with this insane, but loving bunch. I also like how this chat can also turn into a meme dumpsite, a spazz area, and a tea corner if we need it. Here’s to more adventures with our muses and if distance isn’t an issue, I bet we’d all look for chances to meet.

To Jen, you are one of the reasons we have a squad in the first place. Without you, I bet I wouldn’t have stayed after the first week. Having a familiar face who’s been with the RP for a long time helped me get settled much more easily. It was your helpful self that inspired me to pay it forward for the future muns who’d enter the RP. So if anyone’s grateful that I was friendly to them, please direct your compliments to Jen for setting a good example! Other than that, you and your muses changed my muses’ lives completely. Shoutout goes to her mentor Jieun and one of her closest friends Soyeon.

To Lyn ( @rkavery @rkxsnn ), hoy mumsh. It’s refreshing to able to talk to more people in the same language. Not to mention, your muses always got up to the wildest antics that had both my muses and me laughing. I’m cheering for you both in rp and in real life. Alam mo ‘yan. And muse-wise, thanks for letting your former boy be the James Potter to Johnny’s Sirius Black (or vice versa). Johnny and I will miss your boy loads, but we also welcome your new girls with open arms. And also thanks for shipping with Wendy at some point, even if she ended up broken. (ULOL ang drama!)

To Shinobi ( @rkgray @rkkangjoon ): You are legitimately one of the sweetest people I have ever had the fortune to meet. You’re nice to everyone, get along well with people, and have the most awesome characters ever. Your ideas are just A+++. Gray will also always be the reason Wendy’s standards for men are so high, since in her eyes, Gray is perfect. (Gray will get Johnny’s love in the KT Boyz segment) Meanwhile, Kangjoon will be that handsome brother Wendy will be protective about because she thinks he deserves the best. Johnny will always thank Kangjoon for accidentally smacking him in the butt, which lead him to the best squad ever. #NEVERFORGET

To Nana: OMG! This is your second mention. All those posts of Hyuna and LE to send the group chat into a gay panic are more than welcome. It’s always fun plotting with you and your muses, no matter which one it is. Wendy is proud of Jihoon ( @jihoonrk ) in Convex, as well as looking for a chance to release some hilarious pre-debut shit. As for Hyuna, we all know how much Wendy admires Hyuna and loves her a lot. Here’s to hopefully getting to plot with Younghyun sooner or later!

To Maddy ( @aronrk ): Yes, this is your second mention too. Wendy and Aron have yet to thread together, yeah? LOL. Anyway, Wendy obviously cares a lot about Aron, Kaeun, and Nayoung. And I think it carries over to me caring a lot about you. It’s cool to talk to someone who works in the same industry as I do (rather as I used to) and have the same interests. Bonus points for living in the same timezone! (Aron will get Johnny’s love in the KT Boyz segment)

To Sammi ( @rkxminhee ): You are also one of the nicest people I have ever met. I love learning about girl groups from you, since I’m generally clueless about the ones outside of the Big Three or aren’t as well-known. I’m not going to lie, everytime I see Minhee, I think of you. I remember seeing Minhee post that she was in my country, and the first thing I thought was, “DOES SAMMI KNOW MINHEE IS IN MY COUNTRY?!”

To Em ( @borark ): You’re doing an amazing job as a momma to a cutie pie! Anyway, Bora is one of the coolest girls Wendy has ever known, just as I think you are one of my faves. We need a proper thread ASAP when we’re both not busy T_T

Bet y’all thought that was done, right? Nope. We still have a long way to go. Trust me, if you’re getting tired reading this, I’m even more exhausted writing it. We’ll all just have to deal with it. RIP @ us.

Back in 2016, NCT U, NCT 127, and NCT Dream had debuted. Back then, I was aware that Johnny, the SM Rookie who trained with SM the longest had yet to debut. So as a joke, I thought to myself, I’ll debut him before SM does. He came in a month after Wendy got signed at the MGAs. I figured I could handle two muses so LOL. He started as an NPC friend for Wendy who had a crush on Seulgi, and then I thought I could bring him in.

The first time I knew it was time for Johnny to graduate from NPC to actual muse was when I was watching a local drama called “On the Wings of Love.” One of the characters was a spoken-word artist, and I felt like it was something that suited the Johnny muse I had. I also wanted to bring in a muse who can speak Filipino, so I had an excuse to say PUTANGINA on the dash, as well as spread OPM to Rookies.

From there, Johnny just started becoming more real to me as a muse. Johnny was also based on several college friends of mine, who were all a bunch of insanely intelligent and talented people. He was inspired by a classmate who was actually a MYX VJ (local music TV channel) who was also taking up a pre-med degree. Johnny was also inspired by the guy who became our class valedictorian: a dork who was smart AF and could sing, dance, act, write songs, and was part of the debate team with me. One of my closest friends who I miss a lot was gifted with a superior IQ and an almost flawless memory, and she was also a CF model. All these people inspired me to bring Johnny to life.

Honestly, Johnny brought on a new series of challenges that I never thought was possible. I was less awkward when I brought him in, since I was already somewhat at ease with the community. The challenge was to make him want to be an idol. But somehow, fate let things happen and loh and behold!

From not wanting anything to do with the entertainment industry, Johnny finds himself immersed in it all. He would like to thank the former Jungkook muse (who might make a return as a different FC hint hint) for forging his application for that Samsung modeling casting. That started his interest and curiosity for modeling. However, he got his feet wet only when his teacher told him to go for it. But still, that forgery got him a start.

Then, the life-changing talent show happened. Johnny owes Hugo a huge-ass thank you for signing up him for that Hongdae talent show. He is now proud to be a KT (KermiT) Boy. I still have no clue how Johnny wants to develop from being a genius turned model to becoming the artist he can be. But I guess that’s what we will all have to anticipate.

I hadn’t planned for Johnny to fall in love. In fact, I was planning to make him an asexual hermit. Sure, he’s had crushes on Seulgi and Lisa, but he never dreamed those could amount to anything. He was supposed to be forever alone. (To Roe, that time Yukji tried flirting with Johnny will always be one of the most iconic moments.) However, Ten happened! Yay! Nine asked to plot so nicely, and I figured why the hell not? Okay, fun fact, the reason I planned for Johnny to be a hermit was because I was too scared to be called out for face-chasing. I’m relieved that Nine reached out first. And now they’re the cutest boyfriends. Again, I would like to apologize for my snail’s pace when it comes to replies. I will talk a little more about this later on. I promise.

Another reason Johnny has stayed alive for so long was because of all the friends he’s made over the time we’ve been in this RP. Honestly, every single one of these friends have made Johnny’s life more exciting, more colorful, and have taken him in directions he never would have considered if left to his own devices. I guess the long-ass thank you messages are now in order.

To rknctea:

To Nine ( @tenrk ): You go first simply because Johnny asked me to. Besides, I want to thank you and Ten for making Johnny believe that he’s capable of love and sexual feelings. Ten makes Johnny want to be the right person for Ten, and to be a better boyfriend. I don’t know whether I ever mentioned this, but Johnny sees Ten in his future. OOC-wise, I’m thankful that you brought us NCT typists together in the group chat. Not to mention, you make me laugh with all the stuff you link in there. In our DMs, I love how we both get soft together over JohnTen. Whether it’s plots for our boys or IRL JohnTen doing stuff, it’s always great sharing the feels with you.

To Yurim ( @rktaeil ): To one of the people I’ve known longest in RK (outside the brosquad), my experience in Rookies wouldn’t be the same without you. I’m glad you brought in Taeil. Although I reply at a glacial pace now, I’m excited to see what happens to Taeil. I still find it hilarious that you declared your NCT bias will be whose calling card you’ll draw. Anyway, the reason your barrel man has yet to come to you is because I will personally bring it to you when I fly there next year. If you have any other requests, please let me know anytime before I fly. (I will let you know when we’re arriving so we can meet.)

To Hunnie ( @yutark ): We have been through a lot during the time we’ve known each other. You point out things I don’t notice otherwise and work way harder than I do, just as Yuta shows Johnny perspectives that are immensely different from his own. I struggle coming up with ways to ruin my muses’ lives and to just write in general. I don’t know how you do it so religiously and so diligently on top of schoolwork. We also spazz over a lot of different fandoms together, and I’m happy that you’re a lot happier now. Also, welcome to the UAAP life. I’m glad you decided to watch basketball with me and that you’re somehow rekindling your love for the game. Game Two, here we come!

To Min ( @rkjaemin ): You would have gone first but Johnny insisted otherwise. Buwisit siya. We have been together since 2011 and I hope this doesn’t change at all. You knew me from when I was a total noob to the RP world, and have been one of those who saw my writing improve or deteriorate over the years. You are one of the loveliest people I’ve ever met IC or OOC. I’m happy you joined this madhouse called Rookies with me, and I hope this is good healing for you from work. I love you and can we please have dinner with the rest of the girls soon? Just as I will always be rooting for you and will be available to help, please tell your evil spawn of a muse that Johnny’s willing to help him too. Same goes for Wendy and Somi.

To Peach ( @rkhaechan ): When I first told Min to join Rookies, I never thought you two would find each other. But I’m glad you did. You make my girl so happy, and with that, I’m happy too. I will go down with the S.S. PeachMin. I better be invited to that wedding. Anyway, Johnny loves Haechan a lot, especially because he makes evil spawn Jaemin so happy. Haechie may be my new fave of your muses, but Soyou will always be special to me. After all, Wendy wouldn’t have lasted in the MGAs without your girl going all soccer mom on the whole team. Wendy hopes that Jihyun unni is proud of her.

To Jen ( @rkmxrk ): You are honestly one of the most fun people I have ever talked to. We can talk about fandom, winter sports, and just about how our days went. It doesn’t really matter. Long live KKT calls. Not to mention, long live being a professional enabler who convinces the rest of us to spend our hard-earned money on our faves. LMAO. One thing I also learned from you, is to be careful of what I say because you’ll have RECEIPTS. Just as Johnny looks after Mark and wishes for him to succeed, I wish the same for you. And Johnny’s proud that Mark’s finally getting what he’s been trying to say for the last few months.

To Fifi ( @jaehyunrk ), Dayo ( @rkxsicheng ) , Phil ( @rkdoyoung ), Grey ( @rkjeno ), Adri ( @rktaeyxng ): although we don’t talk as much, I’m still thankful that you’re all here. I’d like for us to get to know each other even better, even if I’m either a shy hermit, a lazy egg, or just awake when you’re asleep. But you all bring lots of laughter to the group chat, and I’d like for Johnny to plot with your boys too. (Or in Fifi’s case, Get Johnny and Jaehyun a new thread challenge)

To Lex: Damn it, Lex. I’ve lost track how many times I’ve mentioned you. I hope you’re enjoying your stay in the rknctea group chat. And I hope that somehow, Johnny and Jungwoo find their ways to each other.

To the KT Ent muses and muns:

To Carly ( @taeminrk ) : I was really planning to save this for later when I got to my thank you mods part, but I thought oh well. Anyway, I want to thank you for being one of the best mods to help me get settled when I was new here. As well as answering any questions I had, no matter how stupid they were. I’m glad I got over the initial intimidation of “OMG MOD!” to someone I can actually have fun talking to. I just hope Johnny eventually gets over that “OMG SUNBAE!” vibe Taemin gives out. Johnny always saw Taemin as the senior he has to impress and not disappoint. Trust me, Johnny’s trying but he feels like he’ll never be good enough for Taemin’s standards. LMAO

To Maddy: Johnny always thought of Aron as one of the coolest, happiest, and most talented people he’s ever met. Aron radiates sunshine in Johnny’s opinion, and he wonders how someone can be so bright all the time. Yes, Aron has permission to climb Johnny like a tree and Johnny will enjoy it.

To Shinobi: Johnny will always say Gray is his idol. Hands down. He can give Jongdae a run for his money. He will also go down with the old man ship of Gray and Huidong.

To Lulu ( @minhyukxrk ): Johnny’s rooting for his fellow twin tower and he hopes that Minhyuk will one day be the rich, talented billionaire he knows Minhyuk can be. Tall people unite despite this short revolution!

To Yurim ( @rkxkjd ): If Taemin is the strict dad, then Jongdae is the cool dad Johnny wants to be like when he grows up. After all, Jongdae is probably the muse who’s known Johnny the longest. These two go way back and are both nerds.

To Lex ( @rksungho ): Oh man, I gave up counting how many mentions you got. This is probably going to be the last. Sungho and Johnny are different as they can be, despite a somewhat similar skillset. Not going to lie, Johnny wants to get along with him, despite Sungho just being so angry at everything.

To Cherry ( @rkjimin ): We don’t get to talk as often as I’d like, but I’d like for that to change as soon as we’re both not busy. Jimin is a lovely muse, and Johnny looks forward to getting to know him better in the future~

To Hunnie ( @rksunwoo ): Sunwoo is special to Johnny, because they joined KT at around the same time. There has to be something to be said about two strangers who started a journey at the same time. Johnny wishes he was as talented and talented as Sunwoo. I like to think that Johnny and Sunwoo have a unique bond that only the two of them can understand.

To Shino ( @rkjinjin ): Johnny and Jinwoo, aka big guy and small fry. Just kidding. Though for real, Johnny is always impressed with Jinwoo’s talent and is grateful to learn so much from him. As for you Shino, having you around is lots of fun. I have learned not to say any silly stuff in the group chat unless I wish to be exposed. (Never forget: VORE TAEMIN)

To Hyunjin mun (T_T IDK How you want to be addressed) ( @rkxhyunjin ): You are the only KT Boy Johnny has no thread with. I’d love for us to change that ASAP. Please?

To the females at KT, Johnny loves and respects you a lot. He’d love to get closer with you all. For now, he declares Haseul ( @haseulrk ) and Jennie ( @rkjennie ) as his faves, because he’s closest to them. Johnny never thought he’d be a step-parent to a dog, but Ahyoung  ( @rkxblue ) somehow got him to do it, so she’s special too. He also sees Minji ( @rkariel ) as the older sister you don’t want to disappoint, while Yeri is the younger sister he finds hilarious. He’d also love to get to know Audrey, ( @rkaudrey ), Momo ( @rkxmomo ), Luda ( @rkxluda ), and Chungha ( @rkchungha ) better!

To Carly and Keith, and by some extension, Kate, Johnny has come to see Luna ( @rkluna ) and Jisoo ( @rkjisoo ) (and Eve ( @rkxeve,) by extension) as his lesbian moms. He low-key blames and credits them for being why he is the way he is today. You don’t get raised by two extremely opposite but equally bad-ass women and not be some mix of weird. He doesn’t get to talk to his moms so much, but he wants them to know he loves them a lot.

I can’t leave this without yelling at Lari! Baekhyun ( @rkbyunbaek ) is the best host brother Johnny could ever ask for. Both of us can’t imagine this boy living with anyone else but Baekhyun’s family. Johnny feels bad that they hardly ever see each other anymore, but that doesn’t change how much he loves Baekhyun. Johnny is actually going to be upset when he’ll have to move out of the Byun residence because he’s going to miss this host family a lot.

I’d also like to thank people I have yet to properly thread with (or seldom get to thread with) but talk to frequently OOC, especially on Twitter. There’s way too many of you to be tagged, but you know who you all are. I love how we can talk about anything, ranging from K-Pop to local showbiz, to current events, and more random topics.

Finally, I’d like to thank the mods, each one, having helped me in some shape or form. Kyle, Keith, and Carly, you all got long-ass love letters from me, so I won’t bother repeating myself anymore. To Sera, you truly are hard carry AF. Thank you noticing my hiatus messages and just being there in general. I’ve always told people you are great, and I’m glad my faith isn’t misplaced at all. To Bianca, thank you for answering my stupid AF questions during events. Because I swear even I would roll my eyes at myself for some of the things I ask sometimes. To Mira, you were one of the mods who welcomed me back when I was new. So I’d like to thank you for that. Wendy misses one of her mean girl friends~ To Razel, those graphics are A++++ Here’s to more talking about PH showbiz, food, and to us finally having a proper thread!

I bet I forgot so many people, but this is about how much I can write. Fun fact! I started writing this post at around 11:30am, and I finished writing this at around 6pm. If you made it this far, congratulations!

I’ll spare you all from my rambling, and I’ll just end it here.

My muses and I are cheering for everyone and their muses in their endeavors, whether IC or OOC. I would also like to apologize for the times I have offended you, whether I was aware of it or not. (I’m sure I’ve apologized if I was aware of it, but yeah.) I’m trying to be a better person than I was the day before. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’ll do my best to be a better mun to both Wendy and Johnny, as well as be a better member of this community.

With all my love,

Clara (rkwendy and rkjohnny)

[gffa]

18. what is your favorite star wars book or comic? THIS IS A REALLY HARD QUESTION.  If you absolutely made me choose, I would probably pick Wild Space because we all know how much I love that book, but I’m going to choose a different one because it’s been so strongly on my mind lately--Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith. I love many of the Star Wars comics (especially the Obi-Wan & Anakin comic and Mace Windu: Jedi of the Republic comic!), I was reading them well before this one came out, but I think it’s the one that actually legit vaulted me into wanting to dig into the comics hard.  It’s certainly a very large chunk of why I have any kind of feelings about the Darth Vader parts of Anakin’s life, where before this I didn’t really care that much at all. This comic is drawing the connections between Anakin and Vader in amazing ways, it’s highlighting everything about the choices he made and how he had other options, often shoved right into his face, and he still denied that they were there.  It’s illustrating beautifully all the worst parts of the character, when they’re dialed up to a hundred.  It’s just straight up fun in all the extra-as-hell moments! It’s the comic that really engaged me in a way that dragged me into this part of the Star Wars franchise.  I dunno if it’s the best written one, but it’s the one that’s gotten me to do the most talking and the most at showing the bridge between Anakin and Vader, how they’re absolutely the same person.  And it’s the one I most look forward to reading! 19. what’s your opinion on legends/expanded universe? I LOVE IT.  Parts of it are absolutely terrible and so many people just doing whatever without any kind of oversight led to a gigantic mess and a lot of the writers in Legends were just Not Good At Writing Star Wars, but there’s a lot of really great stories and characters that were told there.  I still read tons of Legends stuff and find them very valuable and worthwhile experiences to have, they can still have some great insights or just be fun to consume! The sticky thing, of course, is that they’re not canon and they kind of never really were.  George Lucas made that super clear and I think it’s actually a really, really smart idea on Disney’s part to just make Legends and canon two separate worlds.  You cannot piece them back together anymore, you couldn’t as soon as Ben Solo existed, but even as far back as the prequels material, the Jedi Apprentice books, etc., cannot work with The Clone Wars anymore. It’s fine to enjoy them!  It’s fine to live in that space!  I really love Mara Jade, for example, and I love Ben Skywalker a lot, too!  And I’m sad that I’ll probably never get to see them in a Saga movie or in anything new again, but I’m also willing to roll with it because canon has brought some amazing things with it (including a whole lot of queer characters that Legends N E V E R gave us), as well as all those people who didn’t have any idea how to write the Jedi?  *gleefully drop-kicks them over the side of a cliff* 25. which character do you have a love/hate relationship with? I’ve already covered Qui-Gon and Palpatine, so this time I’m going with: JAR JAR BINKS. About the time I started coming back to Star Wars after a long hiatus, the Darth Darth Binks theory had just been posted and I was so taken in by it, I LOVED IT. Looking back, I’m not sure if it actually was intended (that quote about “Jar Jar is the key to all of this” is taken WAY out of context for example, George was specifically talking about special effects, that if they could nail the way Jar Jar looked, then the effects would be pulled off), but I still enjoyed it. And I think what happened with Ahmed Best is a fucking shame, like, JFC, Star Wars fandom, this is a really ugly look for us.  It makes me defensive of Jar Jar’s character, including that a lot of kids actually really loved the character! But also, yeah, Jar Jar is really kinda super racist and I get that they didn’t intend for him to be that, as well as he is at least played by a black guy, but it’s still pretty awful.  And, yeah, he is annoying. Yet, I can’t help but feel sympathy for him when it’s super clear that people find him annoying all the time.  Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were annoyed by him, Padme in TCW makes it R E A L clear that she’s annoyed by him, nobody actually treats him like the Galactic Senator that he is, his ending is actually really sad--and this is someone who genuinely wanted to help people.  Being mean to Jar Jar, someone who was trying his best to be cheerful and helpful, feels kind of cruel after awhile. Still.  I can never bring myself to like him or the storylines he gets.  He’s really, really annoying!  And the space Jamaican accent still makes me cringe the way it’s played.  So, I am really, really ambivalent about Jar Jar, I’m really torn about the character.

[littlespoonevan]

i was tagged by the ever lovely @spanglebangle, thank you angel!!! <3

1) How many works in progress do you have?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh 3? long fics??????? i believe????? and 13 prompts. i only write one fic at a time (idk how ppl can split their focus between multiple wips jfc) but that’s everything i’m currently intending to write askdjfh

2) Do you/would you write fanfiction?

i mean...yeah lmao

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

ok listen. liSTEN. i understand. paperbacks are pretty and smell like Real Books~ blah blah blah that’s lovely but let me tell you something, last summer i borrowed a paperback from my friend after having a kindle since 2013 and it was the worst experience of my life. i read in two places: beside a pool on holidays and in bed (also in school when i’m like, actually teaching a novel but u know). so in bed with this stupid book here’s what happened: my lil torch that i normally clip onto my kindle cover kept slipping off the pages, i got a cramp in my hand from the way i had to hold the book and the pages were so loUD when i turned them. it was awful. i’m sorry but you can pry my kindle from my cold dead hands (i will say paperbacks are better to teach with though)

4) When did you start writing?

well when i was a child i used to make my own books (hand drawn illustrations and everything y’all) so i was really into that from the ages of about 8-11? then i kind of stopped for my teenage years but got back into it again when i was 17 and i’ve been writing ever since!!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

i mean, i guess i trust the internet with my work which is a pretty big deal asdlkfjsd normally my fandom friends will be subjected to me annoying them for my entire fic writing experience until the thing is finally posted (sorry, friends. ur the real mvps <33)

6) Where is your favorite place to write?

in my armchair in my living room!!

7) Favorite childhood book?

oh my god i can’t remember what i used to read as a child???????? i loved reading though. do you know, when i first had to get glasses they found out i had no focus in my eyes and they tested my reading age bc usually if a kid has no focus in their eyes they’d be quite a poor reader (which would give away that there was an issue) but i was actually reading like, 3 years above my age range asdjkhf so yeah, i really loved reading :’) i remember i read all the Judy Moody books and most of Jacqueline Wilson’s too!!

8) Writing for fun or publication?

of course i write for fun. i couldn’t put as much time and effort into as i do if i didn’t. but god, yeah. the prospect of perhaps one day publishing something is always a secret dream of mine :’))) idk if it’ll ever happen but we’ll see!

9) Pen and paper or computer?

Computer oh my gOD. i had to hand write something for college today bc i didn’t have my laptop with me and it was horrible jfc

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

nope! i mean, i have a bachelors degree in english akjdfa but there were no creative writing modules available with that (which i was very sad about) so while i imagine that’s definitely helped, everything’s come from me. and tbh i think that’s why writing is so special to me?????? i’m not very naturally good at anything (except maybe school bc i have a good memory) everything i’ve ever done i have to try really, really hard at and even then i might only be mediocre at best. but writing. it’s like the one thing that’s mine? it’s the one thing i taught myself and can actually feel proud of most of the time???? yeah, idk :’)

11) What inspires you to write?

hmm songs inspire me a lot!! like, sometimes a song will make me feel a certain way and then i’ll try to write that feeling??? but in general when it comes to fanfiction, i think it’s just a need to fill in the blanks, to add more to the universe, thinking about “well what if this happened instead?” or “what if they were in this universe?” there’s so much you can do with the characters beyond what happens with them on screen and yeah, i really like getting to explore that :’)

this was a lot of fun!! i’m gonna tag @isaksredscarf @salengedusmiler @greathalesonfire @bechnaesun and @shadeandadidas <3

[the-moon-and-stars-my-love]

GUESS WHO'S GETTING OLDER TODAY???

Sophieeeeeeeee, u old now. Like, extra older than me (yes I know it’s only 5 days difference in the month, but like, a full year soooooooo 370 days older. I can say that you’re old hehe). Man oh man, okay, so there are two ways this post could go. I can either a) continue to tease you for getting old, or b) be all sorts of sappy about the wonderful person that is you. Hmmm, well considering I’ve already teased you a lot about this leading up to your birthday, I’ll focus on the bit where I talk about you. There’s a lot I could say about you, Sophie. You’re this person who, upon meeting for the first time two months ago, was so willing to just start talking to me even though you had never spoken to me once before. You made me feel so welcome even though I knew exactly two of you in that Skype call, and you actually talked to me. You know what was extra cool about talking to you? That we formed our own friendship really really fast. Like, I wasn’t just PJ and Rev’s friend. I was also your friend. And that was just…really nice. Because we messaged on our own after that first call and a friendship was started. You are insanely creative and artistic. I love when you send me your progress pictures of your latest art piece because I feel this wonderful sense of pride in your talent every time you do. You are absolutely incredible, and I mean that. I am honestly always in awe by how good you are (yes, you really are). You lose sleep while arting sometimes, which does me the concern, as do some of your snaps jfc Soph xD, but you always make sure to catch up on your sleep somehow which does me some relief. You have constantly been there for me when I’m about to have a breakdown or when I’m starting to panic. You’ve helped me refocus myself and find a calm in the midst of the mess that my brain is sometimes. I can ask you for animal pictures and you just ask "what kind?" I cannot thank you enough for the wonderful friendship you have given me. You’re honestly one of the sweetest people I know. I cherish the heck out of you. Like, you're so ready to be there for any one of your friends, and you seem to always have something right to say when we need it, or you know to ask what we need, whether it be music or company or anything else really. And you just, share of yourself, so unabashedly. You are so affectionate and I appreciate it so much because I need that sometimes and you do that so freely *smooches your forehead* I can't say it enough. I love you so much, Sophie. You're just so good to all of us who are lucky enough to call you a friend and family. When I was about to start writing this, I had to take a moment to think about how long I've actually known you. Because two months didn't seem right. It's felt a lot longer, like you should have been in my life way longer than two months. I guess that just speaks to how much you mean to me. We told each other once that we were gonna keep each other, and I hope you know I intend on keeping that promise. I'd very much so like for you to be in my life for an extremely long time. And I cannot wait for the day we meet because that's something that can happen so soon if we can just drive to each other or something. But those are just little details. The important bit is that you remember you're gonna get the biggest hug and a forehead smooch from me, I don't care how much taller than me you are. Part of me wants to just call you Tree, or maybe Groot, but Actually Kylo Ren is much more accurate xD Anyway, Sophie, happy birthday. You've kicked the butt of everything the world has thrown at you this last year, you've made a really lovely family that consists of people who love you so deeply, you've learned more about yourself, and you've grown as a person. I'd say that's a pretty solid year. My wish for you is that the universe treats you well, that you remember how loved you are always, that you're able to be surrounded by good things as often as possible, and that your 20th year takes you all the way through to the next birthday. Have a good one today, friend. I love youuuuuu, Sophie💖 @darkness-anon

[ladypjmoon]

BTS FF Reads for May…

Greetings Readers!!!

Here is the BTS FanFiction Reading List for May!!!  

These are just some of the amazing stories I’ve read lately—cheers to all the talented writers out there!!!

And as always, if you enjoy a story PLEASE leave the author a comment at the links provided—I haven’t found one who doesn’t respond well to their fans!!!

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01)   Title: A Knight's Duty

Ship:  Jikook

Author:  by jeong4vr

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/10152389

Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is the knight guarding Sierthia's crown prince Park Jimin, and well, that just happens to be easier said than done when all prince Jimin wants to do is: firstly, fuck Jeongguk, secondly, run around without letting anyone know beforehand.

My Review: This is a magic kingdom au—done extremely well, I might add!  I love how the author has Jungkook in total denial about how many times (he eludes to ONE, err sure Kook!) he’s caved to Prince Jimin’s charms—yet it only takes one visit to Yoongi’s magic shack for Jungkook to give up the lie, lol! And even though I’m a puritan when it comes to Yoonmin & Taekook—this was done right so f*ckit, I stan Jikook here—highly recommend this one—enjoy the smut...it’s magical!!! ;)  

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 02)   Title: Backseat

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by nomilkonlysuga (Umekozaru)

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/9548933.

Summary:  Yoongi is possessive. Jimin is his. Jungkook is his. With the small difference that Jungkook can't keep his fucking hands to himself, apparently. Punishment ensues.

My Review: Ok, uhm I liked this story but I also had to be in the right frame of mind to read it—not a lot of fluff and feels in this one so be forewarned—this one is rough around the edges as far as sexual content so READ the tags for more help!

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 03)   Title: Date Me

Ship:  Taekook | Vkook

Author:  by flywithtaetae (kimtaehyungs)

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/3948544

Summary:  Taehyung flirts with the cute high school boy and relishes in the flustered reaction he gets for almost an entire year. But when the following year comes along, he finds himself choking on his own words.

My Review: Fluff and feels for this coffee shop au where Taehyung watches the young high school boy Jungkook grow into a beautiful young man and graduate before his eyes while nursing the hugest crush ever—this ends beautifully and all is right with the world...this will definitely have you smiling all the way through!        

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 04)   Title: do what you want (with my body)

Ship:  Taekook | Vkook

Author:  by aeterisks

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/8125570

Summary:  Jeongguk isn't quite sure what the game he and Taehyung are playing right now is, but he's not going to lose.

My Review:  Flat broke college student au (God don’t miss those days, lol!) where both Taehyung and Jungkook are a little too competitive for their own good—and yet it seems to work out in their favor this time around—as they’re both harboring hidden feelings for each other that are finally explored during a visit to the local theater...there’s some great dialog and the smut is lit so read the TAGS, lol!

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 05)   Title:  Hello, I'm Min Yoongi, and I'm not desperately in love with you.

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by Giveme5minutes

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/9521771

Summary:  Where Yoongi is not so secretly pining after Jimin, Jimin is being very oblivious to his own feelings, Taehyung is very, very confused, and everyone else is just enjoying the show.

My Review: This is an absolute gem for any Yoonmin fan.  There is something so honest and organic about this story because neither Yoongi nor Jimin are rightfully aware of their own feelings—we see their love blossom through the other members memories and it’s a genuine love story that has a perfect ending...this is a favorite of mine because it’s Yoonmin love in its purest form.  Fluff and feels at its best...you won’t be sorry!

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 06)   Title: In Black Ink (My Lust May Still Shine Bright)

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by Untested Waters

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/8735260.

Summary:  It’s another Tuesday morning in the cafe when Jimin first sees him. It takes him off guard, really. It's not that Jimin stereotypes him or something like that. It's just...well, their usual crowd is a bunch of hipsters in fake glasses, ordering macchiato(s) and writing poetry on laptops covered in dorky stickers.  Min Yoongi walks into his coffee shop and completely shatters the monotony of his work life.  (or, Jimin is extremely turned on by Yoongi's tattoos and Yoongi thinks Jimin is cute)

My Review: Tattoos, piercings and sexy time—this is exactly why my heart belongs to Min Yoongi—sensual to the bone (pun intended ;) and Yoongi’s getting it done...if Jimin can stop squirming long enough and relax.  WoW! Once again this story heats up the room so read the TAGS and you might wanna NOT read this at church/mass/synagogue—just trying to keep it real...don’t want anyone passing the f*ck out, lmfao! ;)

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 07)   Title: in your eyes (it's where i wanna be)

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by bonnia

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/6602608

Summary:  Jimin pauses with his marker inches away from the cup, because — is he really going to do this? Isn’t it a bit old-fashioned to write something flirty on a coffee cup? But no matter what is churning gut says about danger and what the hell are you doing do you want to die, this guy is — with no better way to put it — totally Jimin’s Type with a capital T. (Or: Jimin accidentally starts a nickname war with the cute blonde who likes his coffee way too bitter.)

My Review: Sickeningly sweet with pet names—total fluff and feels—Jungkook is pretty extra, Taehyung is his usual blissful self and the rest of the crew is represented in a very realistic fashion...well written plot with great flow and tender theme.  This is a fun read so make sure you let bonnia know you liked it!    

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 08)   Title: knock it back

Ship:  Vhope

Author:  by bazooka

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/8251261

Summary:  Hoseok is a monster. Taehyung is a liar. They protect and punish each other in turn.

My Review: From one of my personal favorite BTS FF authors (sigh!!!) this story is FABULOUS space au—and I’m not a Vhope shipper—but this story is done to such perfection that I cannot help myself...ILY bazooka!!!  Read anything by this author if you love BTS...ngl!!!

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 09)   Title: Warehouse Kings

Ship: Yoonmin

Author:  by Rix

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/5556446

Summary:  If you can still feel the pain, you're just not getting hit hard enough.

My Review: Great story that gets a little violent in places—graphic depictions of violence isn’t a joke—so I caution you if you’re squeamish...other than this, the story is straight up Yoonmin slow burn set in a dystopian au so YES it’s dark but not horrible.

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 10)   Title: Side Dishes

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by Elemir

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/4352867

Summary:  Yoongi is Korea's most famous actor. He's kissed so many pretty girls that he doesn't know what love is supposed to feel like anymore.  And then he meets rookie actor Park Jimin.

My Review: A story within a story—the plot concerns a seasoned and green actor, a director and screenwriter—who come together to bring an average story to life...there are deep, soul-searching feelings locked within these 21 pages so ensure you’re ready for it.  Being who you are, who you’re meant to be and accepting the people in your life who bring out the best in you—this is a very unassuming story that packs a big psychological punch in a brief timeframe...it’s beautiful and I loved it.

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 11)   Title: take it or leave it

Ship:  Sugmon | Yoonjoon

Author:  by syubnugget

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/6927154

Summary:  “Don’t look now, but it’s your archenemy, the Rap Monster.”  Yoongi groans. “Jesus Christ, Taehyung, that name is lame enough without you adding ‘archenemy’ before it.”  “But your rivalry is so epic, it needs words like ‘archenemy.'”  “No, it needs you to shut up.”  “What it needs is for you two to relieve some of that tension.” Taehyung waggles his brows. “Are you gonna fuck him?”  Wherein Namjoon is a smug bastard, Taehyung wants to bang a lifeguard, and Yoongi just wants to enjoy his vacation.

My Review: Best friends go on a cruise and fall in love—the dialog in this is fabulous and the characters stay true to life—great little story...don’t miss this one!

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 12)   Title: taste of your lips on me, i can't forget

Ship:  Taekook | Vkook

Author:  by locks

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/10430463

Summary:  "Want you to fuck me so hard that it's all I can feel when I'm on my knees, praying," Taehyung whispers into his ear as he yanks Jeongguk's boxers down over his thighs, fingers sliding around to wrap around his cock. "Fuck me full of your come, Guk."  Jeongguk sends a silent apology to the man upstairs because Jesus fucking Christ.

My Review: READ THE TAGS!!!  This is church sex—it’s LIT, NGFL!!!  Hot as Hell—felt the flames lickin at my heels as I was reading this one, JFC!!!  Seriously...READ THE FUCKIN TAGS!!!  If you’re week on confession material (JFC) this will push you over the allotted limit for this life (?) or damn close to the edge anyway...warning you now.  It’s an amazing read and honestly, my breakfast got cold because I couldn’t STOP reading long enough to eat—who the hell needs food when you have Jungkook balls deep in Taehyung on a Sunday morning inside a confessional booth with a full congregation in the next room...just sayin. Read this at your own spiritual decline!!!

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 13)   Title: The Good, The Bad, and The Bangtan

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by Error401

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/5724484

Summary:   Jimin lifted his head up with an automatic smile when the door swished open, dust gusting inside from the strong winds common to the outpost. His eyes widened a little at the six angry-looking men who stomped inside, but didn’t let the smile slip from his face.  Travelers, obviously. Ones who weren’t having a good time. Well, it was to be expected on Mu 75.  “Good afternoon,” Jimin said, ducking his head in greeting and drawing their attention, and maybe some of their ire, to himself. “Can I help you with anything?” From their clothes and the advanced-looking tech of the weapons at their hips, Jimin was assuming they could pay. They had better.

My Review: This is a very veiled Yoonmin—you will need to squint and hold your tongue just so—but what I really liked about this story was Jimin’s strength...he’s conditioned not to trust anyone and yet he does.  This is truly a great story and I found myself wanting the author to actually ‘finish’ it instead of leaving me hanging...but then I always add alternate endings in my head as I’m reading...sooo, yeah it all worked out and things were perfect ;)

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 14)   Title: Untitled.mp3

Ship:  Yoonmin

Author:  by Elemir

Link:  http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/4593846.

Summary:  Jimin doesn't expect being suddenly evicted from his apartment right before his senior year of college. He also doesn't expect to move in with his quiet neighbor. And he's definitely not expecting that neighbor to be his newest music teacher, Professor Min Yoongi.

My Review: This is a good change of pace (from what I’m used to) and it serves Professor Yoongi to a point—even if he tries to hid his feelings from Jimin—and yes I said Prof Yoongi, Omg...my inner student is wanting to cause trouble ;)  

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 Well, that’s it for this month—I’ve been reading a metric f*ckton of Yoonmin lately so I’ll try to pace myself a little better next month...maybe diversify a little more but not promising anything! 

As always, let me know if you’ve fallen in love with a certain story—I’m more than willing to read BTS suggestions as long as they don’t involve the reader (personally hate these), I don’t like to muddy my BTS world with females or with anything EXO either...I just can’t, lol!

Other than that, if you have any suggestions, send me the link and I’ll check it out!!!

See you all next month!  

^___^  PJ