#jfc fine here take this one i can't use it anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fandom-hoarder · 5 months ago

Text

Starting walker finale...

Cordi, running the blender on speaker??

Oh god ptsd

Lmfao screaming at august jfc. What a dad thing

Hug🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Poor cordi. Everyone has a distance about him having been MIA :/ Is this gonna continue

Ok bonham, like I'm glad you're saying you're gonna help but if she wants to learn will you fucking teach her? It's frustrating af when your partner says they'll teach you their skill and then they're just like 'i did it for you'🙃🙃🙃

"Geri-science was a winner. Your sleepytime remedy worked like a charm." CASSIE, DID THAT SLEEPYTIME REMEDY INVOLVE GERI'S TONGUE IN YOUR PUSSY?

"How's Walker?"

"He's... fine. He has his people."

Ok, first of all, DOES he? And are you not one of those people, Geri? Lololol have you been withholding yourself from Walker for CASSIE? 👀👀👀👀👀👀 INTERESTING

Goddammittttttt I've paused too many times and I'm not allowed to have captions anymore. Every FUCKING time. The one good thing about walker ending is NEVER HAVING TO USE THIS GODFORSAKEN APP AGAIN

Omg PLEASE i can't understand what he's saying with Abby on the porch. I've rewatched it 4 times with the volume up.

"Having trouble tellin up from down sometimes " maybe??

I have the volume on 50 💀 i hate the way the app takes captions from me just cuz i pause a lot

PEREZ SIBLINGS FUCK YEAH

Ok stop, I can't help thinking right now about luna's dick friend. Is he gonna show up again, or was that JUST so the "i love her" could happen

God the family casting on this show all around is on point

Lmfao ooh here comes a stellacordi scene

"Felt like a total weirdo walking down the hall"

"That is probably a healthy reaction for an adult man to have."

OK BUT HE'S YOUR DAD?? LOLOLOL PARENTS DO COME THERE😂😂😂😂😂 UNLESS HES ALREADY FEELING SUSPICIOUSSS👀👀👀

THIS DIALOGUE IS FOR US ISTG

HAND ON KNEE

"He just needs you to be there. That was all I wanted. " 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Aaaah facing each other, knees together, hand on knee

"If you get anything from me-'" (pause---it'll be a baby😂😂😂)

HOLDING HIS HAND

"There's no version where you being gone is better. That'd just be a different type of pain. I still need my dad." 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Stella saying she doesn't need an apology 🥺🥺🥺🥺 fucking finally someone

HUGGGGG

Chin on her head, arms grasped around her!

Istg they're looking at my tumblr lmfao

...is trey gonna get the job👀 cassie's chances don't look great after that...

Cordell/Geri scene... I fucking. Knew. He would be like "i want to keep you happy" like. What about YOU, Cordi? What about the way Geri also hasn't been there for YOU? What about her flippant fucking attitude about things? What about the way you have always been all-in on declaring commitment when she has always been scared of commitment? Why is it painted like he's always the one at fault. I am going MAD

GERI WTF??? SO YOU HAD GRIEF HE DIDN'T KNOW HAD EVEN COME UP AND HE "wasn't there" because of his case and BEING FUCKING KIDNAPPED AND ALMOST KILLED. Like sure he wasn't there but why are you saying it like he mistreated you or ignored your pain??????

I want to smack this woman

Fucking patronizing mom voice

I feel like everyone is pressuring him to have to quit being a ranger. HE'S WALKER, TEXAS RANGER

Does he need work-life balance and therapy? YES. Does he need people holding him at a distance because he cares about being a ranger? NO

Feels like walking on fucking eggshells when she mom-hugs him and he hugs back.

STELLA GAVE YOU BETTER

And obvs it's not like i believe in canon stellacordi so obvs I'm not saying marry your daughter instead, but like. The difference is STARK

Like it's fine to wanna do your thing but you gotta stop stringing people along!!! From the beginning, he's always been all-in, wanting to tell everyone and make it official, yet somehow the narrative tries to tell us HE'S been the uncommitted one. WHAT???

Being distracted with a bad law enforcement case and wanting to protect your family from the details is NOT THE SAME as not being committed to a relationship. And if he's been a bad partner, SO HAS SHE.

She's either ignored or not even noticed VERY CLEAR SIGNS that he was not ok

I haaaaate her lmfao

Omg cassie got the job!!!

Omfg are you fucking serious. Started this Larry/James scene with captions, haven't paused at all, and suddenly after "yeah it's the spot" the captions just STOPPED🙃🙃🙃 worst app fucking ever

"Kelly has someone she'd like to hook you up with" it feels like trey has been fielding a lot of this this season lol. I don't see trey/cassie as romantic, but it did sort of feel like the season could end that way because of trey's none ships and friendship w cassie

Why, when he says "a family vacation" do they all go like "no, you don't have to" i want to smack all y'all wtf??? THIS MAN HAS LITERALLY BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS FAMILY AND BEING TOLD HE'S NOT AROUND BUT HE IS *TRYING TO BE* GODDDDDD I AM GONNA START BITING!!

"And if that answer is yes, how would you feel about inviting Geri?" Bleh, don't. I hope she can't go lmfao

August Edward Walker!!

The fact that they spell augie like auggie!! Should i change my fics??😂😂😂😂😂

Music suddenly too loud on 50 lol

Lmfaooo the twilight convo. "Clearly team jacob" *liam looks totally vindicated and enamored* "THANK YOU" 😂😂

It's honestly hard for me to ship liam with anyone else now cuz he and ben are so cute😅😅😅

CORDELL DANCING HELP HE'S SO CUUUTE

"I struggled with how to let go, and I realized...it happened. And I-I have to let it happen" heart hurt. It's hard being a parent of grown children 😭😭😭 you really do have to realize it happened. They grew up.

Hahhh I'm crying. Ouch

Omfg for a split second i thought abby and bonham were gonna tell him to move out of the farmhouse. Jfc i had a moment of RAGE

And then "but you finally made it into a home" goddd

I'm over here like, charmed also ended with the sisters living separately, they could totally do this to me🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

That crostini looks delicious

If August had gone to the military instead of school i was gonna be upset and fixit

Oh lol sweet, trey will be Walker's partner 👀 i wish we could've gotten to see that 🥺��🥺 And we'd get stuff like in the early days with trey caretaking his stupid wounds 👀👀👀

Ok girls scene. I hate geri but i love her dress lol. Reminds me of a dress i had as a kid

S5 could've been a nice final season. Like they could've said "ok we'll give you a final season to wrap this up" BUT NO

Wow, Sadie apologizing for ghosting Stella 🙃🙃🙃

Lolol sadie is another "you are your father's daughter"

Oh ok, so sadie will work at or manage??? the new side step probably...

Lmao liam "and maybe we could add a real estate level..to it" 😅😅😅😅

Ben: boyfriend please stop speaking lawyer lol

Hahh they're so CUTE. Cordri could NEVER

Lol abby. "Meddling" God FINALLY they're talking about actual intentions

Cordi with his shirt undone 👀👀👀👀👀

God he looks so happy and cavalier. He's like, this'll be so romantic and I'm gonna commit to her and everything will be perfect.

And then Geri's like, whoa settle down there buddy. I think i understand you too

WHAT

She messes with his shirt like "stop looking so slutty" lmfao why is everything she does so patronizing

He stoops down to tuck her hair🥺🥺

"I think i might have a solution for that" gonna either quit or take leave....

Ok I'm still pissy that Luna is blamed on him. HE WAS KIDNAPPED AND BURIED

I know it FEELS like his behavior is to blame, but HE DIDN'T KILL LUNA

If he'd been shot looking for someone else, would she blame THEM???

And I'm not saying he shouldn't apologize for his reckless behavior, but like. Why is no one worried about HIM

I'm tearing my HAIR OUT

LEAVE OF ABSENCE. I WAS RIGHT.

Liam. GOVERNOR???

Omg liam getting kidnapped from Ben by MIB?????😂😂😂😂😂

Luna's coaster on cassie's cork board 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Godddd cordi has a ring box

Yeah, I'm ready *secret smile*

Omfg so vanderbeek did a cameo as the new neighbor???😅 i really wonder what that backstory would've been

Ok i think that was the end lol. Gonna rewatch 😅😅😅😅

"See you sometime" i wonder if the ep title would be the same if they weren't canceled

I wish they'd said what the governor wanted, but I'm glad everybody kinda got a little "next thing for this character" inkling

Ok with hindsight of the episode as a whole, I'm even angrier at Geri in the opener. Like the parallel there is clearly intended when Geri says "you're a reminder and that's the last thing she needs" as he's having a BLENDER FLASHBACK

Like idk. She says you're ok and ilu like stating it as a fact will reassure him, but she doesn't actually say "are you ok? Should i call mawline?"

The way Cordi obviously feels like has to tie them together and keep her happy 🙃🙃🙃

*Aside* >>> Vanderbeek would TOTALLY be an annoying neighbor and probably cause problems on the ranch, maybe even between abby and bonham

Geri isn't right for Cordi, and he isn't right for her! They don't ever seem to have the same life goals??? OR love language

Augie saying "go-lly you scared the hell outta me" 😅😅😅

Augie: what's this about?

PLEASE, AUGUST, YOU ACT LIKE THIS MAN ISN'T ALWAYS EXCITED TO MAKE A SPECIAL BREAKFAST FOR AN OCCASION. HE'S HERE NOW WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE IT'S WEIRD AND HE HAS AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE 😭😭😭😭

You and Stella backed out of so many special meals he made!! Have you all gone fucking bonkers??

If they hadn't ended that scene with a hug i would've had to murder someone tbh

I wonder what plans bonham has for the ranch contracts

That "he has his people" line from Geri still driving me CRAZY. SHE'S NOT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT HIS PTSD

Geri rejected Beaches. That's a red flag lol

Abby having a mom moment with Cordi and telling him not to worry about what he might've done different 🥺🥺🥺🥺 fucking thank you.

Also, the way he's like "i kept telling myself after this case was over everything would fall into place. But i ended up just makin a mess of everything" --- john winchester thesis statement

This subaru commercial i always get feels like a travesty. Why is the lesbians car in a het commercial 😅😅😅😅

Stella being like "THIS abduction" but also reassuring cordi it wasn't his fault... only abby and stella have any rights right now

Godd this is making me cry again

The fact that stella hasn't seen what's in that letter... gahhh i can't remember the wording anymore but it was something about always being with her snd it was soooo 👁👄👁... another thing to end up in fic fodder

"And maybe after that we can figure out...where to go from here." MY STELLACORDI HEARTTT

i was well fed for stellacordi this season. More than i truly could imagine. Bless

Het subaru commercial again. In my mind, this woman is bi and in her first non-wlw relationship 😅😅😅

Once again with hindsight this 2nd Cordri convo is even more frustrating. There is NOTHING in her words or behavior that should lead Cordi to think she'll say yes to marrying him. They are on two different tracks in their relationship conversation and she's still holding him at arm's length. This is not a woman in love. This is a woman in "might as well."

AND THE JUXTAPOSITION OF THIS SCENE, AFTER GETTING REASSURANCE FROM STELLA, IS SURE AN INTERESTING NARRATIVE CHOICE

"And i was drowning, and you weren't there" and no followup that "i know you were kidnapped and that's not your fault" just the mom chastisement and patronizing hug.

And his body language is like "oh shit, she's gonna break up with me unless i prove I'm IN THIS"

Geri would totally say no on the vacation

Also we know she never said yes to hoyt because of thinking his wanderlust wouldn't settle. Why would this with cordi be ANY different. Sure he has roots, but he's also dedicated to solving cases. He's not quitting. And i don't see her saying yes without an ultimatum to him

Lol, last vacation days has Geri mentally switching back to thinking about real life and how it just won't work with cordi still in the rangers, and wanting to move to okc to get sadie set up 👀👀👀

Goddd i wish she'd been involved in Emily's death lololol

I know some people are probably upset August didn't get a romantic storyline, but I'm really glad they didn't shoehorn one in for him OR stella. Not even for my shipper heart, but for my aspec heart craving non romantic stories!!

And I'm fucking grateful they didn't end with a concrete cordri engagement

I really like Cordi’s embroidered shirt. It's so cute

Hmm... geri adjusting her not-skewed dress, and cordi's unbuttoned shirt... is this meant to signal that they were getting handsy and decided to move away from people, or am i reading in too much lol

Like every time he tries to be romantic, she redirects with a "but"

Maybe you're just aro, Geri. Maybe someone needs to tell you that's a thing!!

"I love us. And I...UNDERSTAND you, I REALLY think i do." = i love us just like this and really don't want to get married, like... ever.

God i feel insane. WHO sees them with a happy ending together???? It's not THERE

She can feel him leading up to a proposal and redirects him so he can't

But she won't fucking let him down and let him free 🙃🙃🙃

Godd why couldn't they tell us what the governor needs liam for😅😅😅

I'm fine with this ending, as far as i can be. I definitely don't want a more concrete "what happens next" happy ending

I don't want a wedding

Lol Cordell's leather satchel is such a Sam bag

Stella about the Davidson ranch sublet: "why? Maybe it'll be a total drama free situation and we'll just be, like... neighbors." The perfect setup for drama lol, and to tell us well we can't show you but there would've definitely been drama

When cordell grabs gerii's hand in the truck, is it just me or is it trembly? Was it just an extended squeeze, or a signal of stress 👀👀👀👀

Vanderbeek's toe ring and sandals😅😅😅😅😅😅

God i can't believe it's over

#walker #walker liveblog #walker finale #walker spoilers #walker 4x13 #anti geri #anti cordri #cordri critical #geri critical #stellacordi #< for my commentary

2 notes · View notes

shwarmii · 1 year ago

Text

i just moved three boxes (two light and one heavy-for-me) to my car to take to the storage unit after a break and i AM SO BRAVE

context: i am still in the process of moving (un-moving? i am here, in a new residence, but i am surrounded by boxes and shit ugh) and i was very kindly gifted a storage unit by my parents since i down-sized so much (and my dad is a hoarder so he was very "YOU CAN'T GET RID OF YOUR BREAKFAST ISLAND CHAIRS JUST BC YOU NO LONGER HAVE A BREAKFAST ISLAND" even tho i got the three plush chairs for a total of $20 bc thrifting yay). but i couldnt supervise the movers (bc i was so wiped i was gonna throw up or faint if i didnt lay down and let them do whatever) and they apparently read like.. 2 or 3 of my labels and none of the rest. so they ignored so many that instructed them to put things in the storage unit. and i dont feel comfy calling them for a discount bc they had to deal with so much regarding me and my disability already (mainly: that i didnt finish packing before they got there. yeah. i did 2 or 3 all-nighters in a row just before they came, worked for weeks, and still couldnt do it all. best i could do was make them piles of the remaining stuff and go "please help")

but yeah, im quite disabled and sickly and i have muscle weakness, and i am spent FOR A DAY after a carrying a single case of Arrowhead water from my car to my personal cart to my apartment, so you can imagine the havoc a medium-to-large Costco Box of board games is apparently causing me

(read more is just more of me complaining about boxes, ft. me breaking down how my internalized ableism skews my pov of how difficultly heavy things are by using my little sister for comparison)

i was so shaky after, it sucked so bad. im so glad my storage unit has carriers by the door so i dont gotta haul that shit long-distance anymore. my body is so disregulated, jfc, that box felt like it might as well have been 50 lbs but i know for a fact it was on the heavier side of "light". bc my little sister helped me out with the worst of my heavy boxes a week or so ago (aka: my book boxes. bastards were the heaviest thing by far bc i have a concept art book collection and those books are weirdly shaped and hardcover and even just five of them is heavy enough for me to struggle. though, in my defense, i had a physical therapist test my muscle strength and she openly said "Oh, god, that's not good" lmao rip) and like.. my lil sister is an athlete, sure (and built like a model jfc she is so tall and dainty, hOW?? shes got muscle mass but its so stretched out that she looks like she doesnt have much. but bitch works out for fun, runs at least a mile every morning before college classes, and does sports and dance for shits and giggles. and also she's STEM. beauty and brains. jfc, i love her, her future partner better worship the ground she walks on, i swear. but yeah, her favorite way to show love is acts of service and she likes doing physical labor, so when i asked for help all hesitantly and ready to bribe, she was like "Okay!!✨️" before i even finished and rejected any form of payment that was more than a starbucks frap. she's back in college on the other side of California now anD I MISS HER COMPANY.. AND ALSO HER MUSCLES...) but she truly carried all my book-boxes like they weighed as much as a handheld-basket of laundry

and i even asked her "Is that an okay weight? I can grab another cart, we can take as many breaks as you need, would you like a water, thank you so much for doing this, are you okay??" and she just laughed like a mix of Santa Claus and the blonde girl from Utena (/positive)

she was so fine with what she was carrying. the only reason she agreed to a cart was to make shit faster with less trips, but she didnt care about the weight of the boxes themselves. she even said "These aren't nearly as bad as you made them out to be!" (as bad = me telling her I couldn't lift them. i had to make the boxes and tower then ontop of one another and put a book in individually at a time. after they were filled, i could not lift those boxes at all). she openly found these boxes easy to deal with. they were about Office Depot File Cabinet size bc i worried using a BIG box for books would be truly unliftable. but yeah no she was fine. my sister was very open about it even and did a couple of tricks for the comedy of making me go "EY EY EY, BE CAREFUL, DONT HURT YOURSELF" and fuss over her

so. like. i know she'd be able to carry this board-game box i am currently struggling with, probably even one-handed if it wasnt for its awkward size of it which would necessitate she use two hands. and you might go "shwarmi, your sister is probably not an accurate representation of a person's strength, im sure those boxes were heavy, books are heavy, so are board games" and im like:

the book-boxes were likely heavy but mangeable for most people. the board game box was definitely heavy-end-of-the-"light" weight-spectrum. also, my sister is a great barometer for me because i am in F-tier, maybe D-tier on a good day, and she is A-tier. she is likely not S-tier, she isnt a body-builder, doesnt have obvious muscle definition, no a six-pack, no evident biceps or calfs, nothing. so most people are B- or C-tier. so she is actually a good litmus test for me, personally, because i see the strain on a B-/C-tier person and i spiral into thinking they feel like me when they DONT. so seeing my sister have no problems or strain beyond "this cart that your storage unit supplied sucks to steer!" makes my dumbass go "...ahhh, i see how different me struggling versus a B-/C-tier person struggling is now that i see my sister's limits and think of her proverbial Strength Stat as ridiculously high". i have a few other friends (and a brother, who teagically lives far away from me boo) who pride themselves on their strength that similarly make me do a double-take of "OOOOOOH.. oh, okay, my frame of reference has been righted, okay"

really brings to light a reminder that i still have a SHIT TON of internalized ableism. it is very hard rn to not kick myself for only doing three boxes in one trip today. my dumbass really wants to go "DO A NORMAL PERSON AMOUNT OF STORAGE MOVING" but, my comrade, i am not normal. i am disabled. i very physically weak. there is a reason why my loved ones and i make frequent jokes comparing me to "sickly Victorian ghost children" (hence why my @/playbychoices account had that John Mulaney quote as its blog-title for so long). i can do these three boxes today. hopefully, i can do the equivalent or more tomorrow, but i also could have another week-plus long flare-up like i did this past period before today. so. today. just three. very sadge. but alas, the way things do be

anyway

praise me for this stupid fucking board-games box. the other two were easy, even for me. one was even the same awkwardly medium-large Costco box but just had lighter shit inside. but the board game box??

shit sucked. im sitting next to an a/c with an ice-cold drink and my feet up, trying to get my likely-POTS-raddled body regulated back to a mangable level

but still

shit sucked

#shwarmi #me #diary dump

1 note · View note