#jesus of exurbia

[meatcrimes]

everyone say happy birthday to leo

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let hour one of birthday commence

[meatcrimes]

i’ve been having the worst fucking day ever. just. thing after thing after thing keeps happening. at this rate i’m just gonna go to bed at 3pm just so i can get a short break from things getting worse

[meatcrimes]

two eclipses this aries season, ready for the drama.

[meatcrimes]

[meatcrimes]

all this talk about eclipse watching just reminds me of how differently shoshone culture treats eclipses

growing up eclipses were something you gave the sun and moon privacy for, because if you gazed upon them they could damage your vision. only in adulthood did i realize the actual tale was that the sun and moon were having sex and if someone looked voyeuristically, the sun would smite them via temporary blindness

[meatcrimes]

im so tense i feel coiled up like a spring. everything annoys me rn. i want to scream when i get an unsolicited notification somewhere. and it’s not even fair to them cause it’s not like anyone did anything wrong im just in a bad mood! fuck! i could cry from frustration from things that i normally wouldn’t even notice

[meatcrimes]

I am a handywoman. I just installed the wall mirror that’s been sitting on my floor for six months. There may have been directions but they were so unhelpful, thankfully i kinda intuitively knew how to install a screw anchor even tho ive never done it before. it just took a little bit of tinkering with scrap wood and the only casualty was a single anchor cracked because i didn’t drive the screw straight and it poked thru the side. but yeah, second try i did it, and i got the mirror hung even tho there were no instructions on how to do that, it just said “hang the mirror on the screws” WITH WHAT EXACTLY?! eventually i realized the paper backing was just part of the packaging and there was an actual piece where the screws went underneath. i feel like a sim who just gained one point of the handiness skill

[meatcrimes]

i’ve finally grown out and trimmed off all of the bleached ends. Blow dried it to see the real length and i’m stunned. I have long hair again! ♡

[meatcrimes]

and the thing is. i know my anger is just my way of coping with sadness. because if i’m angry enough, i can’t feel the despair.

if anyone learns anything from this, just think twice before abandoning someone with abandonment issues. have a fucking heart. don’t do this to someone

[meatcrimes]

my birthday is tomorrow, this is the most neutral to positive i’ve felt about it in a while. ☺️🎂

[meatcrimes]

i thought they’d be swollen shut with the sheer amount of crying i did yesterday but i was pleasantly surprised looking in the mirror. i actually really like how my eyes look after crying.

[meatcrimes]

i will take the coal you gave me, make a timeless masterpiece.

[meatcrimes]

i bet je sawyers twitter mentions are a mess rn

[meatcrimes]

i don’t want to like. publicly say what it is just yet (or maybe at all) but i am consensually taking part in a very difficult and potentially dangerous task that is vital for my long term wellbeing. that sounds both way too dramatic and way too sanitized but that’s the most concise and nonspecific way i can describe it. you need not worry about me but i am still in physical and emotional pain, and will continue to be for at least a few days. any kind of emotional support would be very welcome at this time.