#jesus christ its so fucking bleak

[tokagrem]

FUCKING infuriating how people will ""correct"" others unprompted under john egb*rt posts like "her names june actually!!" and then turn around and not acknowledge transmasc roxy at. all. im gonna fucking tear my face off LMFAO

[vilelittlecritter]

Reading dreamscape and this shit is good.

Like, too good.

Like I am enjoying this way too much kind of good.

[spottedside]

laying in bed thinking

[thessaralka]

you know what's always frustrated me about dragon age tho

the religions

they're built on shaky (or zero) foundations.

all major real world religions have SOME kind of powerful reason that people choose to believe in them - they're all deeply rooted in occult metaphysics, NDEs and cosmic mystical events, secret esoteric knowledge, human history, myth, generations upon generations of human blood and ritual and ceremony.

andrastianism is basically catholicism but we don't know why people believe in the maker. we just know that they do.

people believe in jesus christ as the son of god because there is powerful evidence of him existing, powerful spiritual truths there, powerful legends prophesying his existence, and powerful history (it's of course deeper than that but this isn't a post about christianity).

it's understandable why people believe in anrdraste as a goddess-figure, as she has a powerful legend.

people believe in "god/ the universe/ source/ brahman/ allah/ 'the force'" (different names for the same concept) because spirituality is an inherent part of existence, it is a foundational truth of our reality that can only be experienced individually and not (yet, quite) proven by science (unless you get into quantum mechanics and einstein's theories and so on). it requires faith, and faith only comes from experiencing "knowing" directly. it cannot be taught, and it cannot be measured.

we know next to nothing about why people would ever be convinced by the maker enough to believe in him/ it as a god.

the elder scrolls does religious lore REALLY well. the aedra and the daedra have a creation myth that goes back to the two primal forces in the universe (anu and padomay - which are basically masculine and feminine primal forces, the yin/ yang of daosim - this ties into real world religions and makes the world of ES feel very real, because we can relate to it).

as far as i know, the only creation myth we get apart from the maker's "he was displeased by his creation and turned his back on it" is from the alamarri/ avaar with korth the mountain-father who created the mountains and provides game (a god worthy of being worshipped, to offer such foundations).

like, what does the maker even do? yeah he "created the golden city" (ehhhh??? not really thoooo????) and got mad at the tevinter magisters (that was just them poking at solas's fade prison too much tho)... and created the veil (that was solas tho). so nothing the maker has done has actually happened, it's the byrpoduct of something the evanuris did. mostly solas.

thedas (particularly with the dalish worship of the evanuris) feels like a post-apocalyptic world that lost its religion and its reasons for believing in religion a long time ago, because they've been continuously decimated by blights/ war/ slavery/ loss/ degradation.

and perhaps that is the truth of it. their faith is bleak, and rootless, because the world of thedas is a post-apocalyptic world that is bleak, and rootless (thanks to solas and the evanuris who created the blight, and sundered the titans from their dreams).

the most honest religions in thedas are, in my opinion, the dwarven religion (which is not a religion at all, and instead a worship of skill and excellence), and the avaar religion, which is based in their communication with the spirit world - which makes sense! because spirits are the energy of an idea or feeling, and that energy is tangibly spiritual and powerful. andrastianism is cool too, except for the part about it being founded on andraste being the bride of the maker, so we're back at square one.

what the fuck do these people even believe in?

[thatneoncrisis]

oh captain my captain, do you have a favorite scene in TLT?

i like when g1deon attacks harrow in the bathroom because it sucks and no one helps her.

that sounds SO mean but its bleak in a way i really like. imagine living with god and he cant help you. she was in the BATH, harrows had this repeated motif in the books of nakedness and vulnerability but jesus christ. and the fact that g1deon still CAN'T kill her, hes just fucking tormenting her. i remember pal doing the freezing thing on gideon at the end of gtn and its like why doest everyone do that it seems super useful especially if youre tasked with killing someone whos only skill against you is panicking creatively. just get her to stop moving and you're gold right?

i dont know. i think on some level i dont believe g1deon ever wanted to hurt her. at the end he just kind of begs for her to kill herself so she doesnt succumb to the RBs. calling it a kindness feels wrong its still like. emotional terrorism. but i think he could have killed her, if he really wanted. mercy stabbed her from behind it wasnt fucking rocket science. hell pyrrha had a GUN at the end of the book, presumably g1deons, why not shoot her? i dont think being blind would have stopped him.

ooooh gideon the first the man that you are

i also really like the scene introducing harrow in gtn with every word she got younger and shorter in my mind it was really funny. like i thought she was thirty the way gideon was talking about her. i also like crown walking nona to school

[multi-muse-transect]

V in Mortal Kombat interactions.

@aggravateddurian

Duplicate

V: If you’re me from the future, please tell me I get Johnny out of my head.

V: It’s gonna come at a price.

V: So is Jackie alive in your universe?

V: Who's Jackie?

V: So where are you from? Haywood, Badlands or Charter Hill?

V: Haywood.

Raiden

V: It’s gonna take more than just fancy fighting moves to survive NC.

Raiden: Don't judge a book by its cover V.

V: Fuck, it’s so hard to fight without combat implants!

Raiden: You must get used to a life without crutches, only then can you overcome the city itself.

V: You don’t happen to know who’s the Zen Master now do you?

Raiden: Why he’s a teacher in the Wushi Academy!

V: You’re gonna love the esoterica.

Raiden: You should show me sometime.

Raiden: Such a bleak future you live in…

V: It has its perks.

Raiden: It’s horrible that people would do things to themselves to survive such an insane city.

V: The city ends up getting them regardless.

Johnny Cage

V: Told you Alex was the best.

Johnny: The best? She is leading woman material!

V: Johnny and Solomon are actors in this universe?

Johnny: You’re talking about Keanu and Idris right?

V: No, you’re not making my life into a movie.

Johnny: Maybe a video game can work?

Johnny: So you mind telling me how brain dances work?

V: You need to chrome the fuck up first.

Johnny: Adam Smasher sounds like a lame ass name.

V: Why don't you say that to his face when you see him?

Scorpion

V: You remind me of this one guy-he was a bodyguard.

Scorpion: I wish to meet him one day then.

V: Fuck me, what kind of implants cause those?

Scorpion: Technology isn't required to learn magic.

Scorpion: You're getting more and more skilled without your combat implants.

V: It took sometime but I'm getting there.

Scorpion: Arasaka's evil must be stopped!

V: They'll learn to fear the reaper when we raid it.

Sub Zero

V: I've met plenty of gonks like you in NC. All dead in a ditch

Sub Zero: Then I will be the first to survive.

V: You just sold out your clan by working for Arasaka!

Sub Zero: A small price to pay for salvation.

Sub Zero: Adam Smasher has proven himself to be a valuable ally!

V: Don't come crying to me when he bites you in the ass!

Sub Zero: With Arasaka's tech, I will create an unstoppable army of cyber-Lin Kuei!

V: Not on my watch!

Kung Lao

V: Careful, that attitude won't get anywhere in NC.

Kung: Cybernetic thugs don't scare me.

V: A hat? Seriously!?

Kung: Don't underestimate it V.

Kung: Is Panam available for today?

V: As if she'd go out with you.

Kung: I heard about the story of David Martinez. I've had the same experience like that...

V: You should take it to heart.

Sindel

V: This isn't my first time meeting a ruler.

Sindel: Oh? Do tell...

V: Jesus Christ, what kind of chrome makes you do THAT?

Sindel: Please, I don't need machines in my body.

Sindel: Do you do this often? Asking rulers out for dinner?

V: I learned it from a gig in Dogtown.

Sindel: Our magic will help cure your condition.

V: Let's hope it doesn't turn the other guy into pixie dust first.

Shang Tsung

V: Tell me where So Mi is or you end up eating lead.

Shang: You still care about her despite everything?

V: I've known many backstabbing assholes in NC. You're not special.

Shang: But I am built different compared to them.

Shang: I assure you, my magic will make sure that Silverhand will be gone.

V: I'm not selling my principals out to a wizard!

Shang: I wonder if I will have Silverhand's soul when I take it from your body.

V: One-try it asshole and two-I don't think that's how it works.

Shao Kahn

V: I almost mistook you for an Animals member.

Shao: Do you mock me mercenary!?

V: Not my first I've fight someone big with a hammer.

Shao: Then they must've died in the most humiliating way possible!

Shao: I am not afraid of a dying mercenary!

V: You will be.

Shao: All legends fade.

V: Not mine, it will never fade away!

Reiko

V: You're seriously coming at me with a spear and shurikens?

Reiko: Unlike you-I don't need machines under my skin.

V: Many gonks like you die because of loyalty.

Reiko: Then they have died honorably!

Reiko: You aren't afraid of death. Good!

V: I pass by it all the time.

Reiko: You spared Khameleon. So weak and disgusting! Mercy is disgusting!

V: Your devotion to the roided maniac is way more disgusting.

Tanya

V (if female V): You know anything I can get for Judy?

Tanya: I recommend the flowers of the royal garden.

V: My world can use more people like you.

Tanya: Maybe there is. Perhaps you weren't looking enough.

Tanya: I don't trust Reed.

V: Good, don't!

Tanya: Takemura is so blinded by loyalty.

V: That's Goro for you.

Kitana

V: You sound...familiar.

Kitana: I don't even know who you are.

V: Fuck me, I need one of those!

Kitana: First you must learn to train with them.

Kitana: I can't believe the Mox's care about money instead of caring for others.

V: Tell me about it.

Kitana: Thank you for telling me about Hansen.

V: You're welcome princess.

Li Mei

V: I think I know a detective who would love to have you as a partner.

Li Mei: Do tell Earthrealmer...

V: If the cops acted like you then NC would have zero crime.

Li Mei: Perhaps I should teach them.

Li Mei: So much corruption in your city, I'm surprise it's still standing.

V: You can thank the mega-corps that semi-run it.

Li Mei: 6th Street are nothing but barbarians parading as protectors.

V: Lofty patriotic bullshit is all they spew out of their mouths.

Kenshi

V: Fought a guy just like you. Hunted Tigers.

Kenshi: Was he just as skilled as me?

V: You're gonna love Jotaro Shobo since you kill yakuza a lot.

Kenshi: Really? Tell me where he is...

Kenshi: Your blades are advanced but not advanced as sento.

V: No shit. None of them can summon a ghost!

Kenshi: I would love to duel Oda one day.

V: I don't think that's a smart idea...

Ashrah

V: No one is good or bad where I come from...except for Maelstrom.

Ashrah: They are beyond redemption.

V: I know a guy who needs someone like you, he's FIA.

Ashrah: I know he has a good heart but is clouded by devotion.

Ashrah: So Mi is safe with me.

V: Tell her I said hi.

Ashrah: Regina Jones heart is so pure yet full of darkness.

V: Really? She doesn't seem to have a bad bone in her.

Smoke

V: What the hell kinda name is Smoke?

Smoke: One that you will respect.

V: Thanks for taking care of 6th Street for me.

Smoke: They're nothing but savages.

Smoke: The Aldecaldos have such a beautiful culture.

V: Wanna join them one day?

Smoke: Wakako looks like she's taken a liking to me.

V: Odd, she doesn't like anyone.

Geras

V: So..how does my story end?

Geras: Your future is very...hard to tell.

V: You're a Samurai fan?

Geras: I was watching their concerts very recently.

Geras: I suggest you should side with So Mi.

V: Why is that?

Geras: I have met another who travels to other timelines.

V: Ciri? Yeah, she does that.

Liu Kang

V: I can tell you didn't create my timeline.

Liu Kang: I would never create such depravity.

V: Shit, I'm sure Viktor would love you on the boxing club.

Liu Kang: I’ll visit one day.

Liu Kang: In one timeline, you and So Mi are together.

V: That...that's kinda beautiful.

Liu Kang: I have something that will help your ailment.

V: Really? It won't fry my nerves right?

[homophyte]

just watching some youtube n someone was talking about a negative experience w laughing gas during medical/surgical procedure which of course reminded me of my own negative experiences w it so i did a random google if its common for people to freak out on it and finding absolutely tons of accounts of people talking about extreme paranoia and anxiety and even accounts that appear to be dangerously high doses (people unable to breathe etc) but all the sources from a medical perspective were either about the dangers of whippets or cost-benefit of laughing gas over other drugs. ill admit this was a very cursory curiosity google and im sure someone has looked into it but Jesus Christ the medical field is so fucking bleak actually

[gobbinhalfglass]

Someone who didn’t know I write just got ahold of something I wrote and their response was “Wow this could’ve been super depressing and crushing for all the characters involved! Why didn’t you do that?”

Because when you’ve seen enough hopelessness and crushed spirits in real life, you don’t tend to have a taste for it in fiction, sir. I’m not planning to publish this work, so I don’t need to think about what the biggest reaction would be from a reader. I’m going to write happy endings even in stories where people struggle every step of the way because God damn it there isn’t enough of that in the world.

I have no doubt I could write horror and tragedy very well. But y’know what? Fuck that. There’s enough horror and tragedy in the world around me and I see no reason to fill my personal projects with it. “Oh but you could convey what you feel to an audience!” How about I don’t add my experienced pain and fear to others’ already bleak perception of the world? I don’t want anyone to understand it like that because that means they understand it. Why would I wish that on someone? I’d much prefer to make a fleeting smile than a lasting existential crisis in someone. I want to put into the world what it lacks, not what there’s too much of. I’m not gonna write anything really dystopian because y’know what? I live in a fucking dystopia at this point and it is really god damn boring. Nobody seems to want to admits either of those things but jesus christ… So many people feel it in their bones. Maybe some fucked up things happen in a story, but why does that tragedy need to be further compounded with more tragedy ad infinum to be interesting to some people? Why can’t a singular tragedy exist as its own fully formed plot point, with all the influence on characters and events that entails? Why do people want a character to just suffer over and over in a story that doesn’t fucking need that?

For context, my protagonist only found out he committed matricide immediately after striking a killing blow to the story’s witch-queen antagonist. And she dropped some pretty big plot twisting things in her dying breaths. APPARENTLY it’s been deemed more interesting for him to spiral into alcoholism, depression and self-destruction over it than to grieve healthily and actually grapple with his actions. This guy hasn’t been prone to extreme responses to emotion up until this point, he’s been on multiple literal battlefields and failed to save people. So the suggestion that he should suddenly turn to alcohol and totally self-destruct over this one event kind of pissed me off. Especially when he’s got two close friends who’re still there for him right there when this all went down. “But it’d be a better story!” No. Fuck off. You don’t get to read my stories anymore. The protagonist will grieve and process in the presence of his found family like the reasonably well-adjusted warrior he has been shown to be already.

Anyway, this was mostly just a vent post about my own artistic preference and the fact that people seem so smitten with dystopian tragedy in their fiction that they seem to expect it from me. Kinda pisses me off that people want more sadness in media, frankly. I realize that’s a hot take on the “Put that character into situations” website but good god people are just in love with torturing characters when there’s not much to gain from it.

As a side note, kudos to all the people whose characters or fanfics actually have depicted character growth from the situations later down the line.

[yellowocaballero]

Iirc, in the movie it’s implied that after the Tim incident Bruce and Tim did not talk to each other again for over 50 years until the end of the movie. Like Jesus Christ I know Jason and Bruce’s relationship is super strained but that’s a whole other level of bleak. I will admit though I love it because for that exact reason, I was so caught off guard by it because you think a kid’s show wouldn’t go that route.

BTAS could get fucking dark sometimes. I still remember Perchance to Dream very well. Anybody else remember that episode? It was seriously really fucking dark. Where Batman - wait, I referenced it.

Very creepy when I was 13.

I did love BTAS for its bleakness - for how it was genuinely pretty noir, for how it said very little but could hit on some pretty profound notes. It was light on plot and dialogue, and each episode was very straightforward and very light on character or emotional work. It's very much a 90s cartoon, which were extremely high on action and very low on everything else. But it's such an exercise in atmosphere and tone, and watching BTAS you always got so sucked up into its world. I used to get up early at 4 in the morning to curl up in blankets and watch it, because I always felt like the show needed absolute darkness and solitude, and you could just lose yourself in it. It didn't need more than what it had. It's what makes the show still the best Batman thing ever: it was just pure noir mystery action vibes. With some silliness, colorful characters, humor, and life - but it was Gotham, and for 20 minutes you were within Gotham. Sometimes a cartoon is just vibes. They really don't make 'em like they used to.

Which is why I guess I disliked the ROTJ stuff. Character drama with always very minimalistic characters, shocking stuff like what happened to Tim, dramatic comic book plotlines - none of that felt native to BTAS. It took me out of the world. But yes, it's very tonally consistent with BTAS, isn't it!!!!!!! Isn't it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stackslip]

god i am sooo confused by nayuta's looks too. if she is indeed aging quick that paints such a geim picture of makima too. like, imagine if makima was in fact really young. it would make a lot of sense in the most devastating way possible

oh FUCK. i mean before all this i did already assume she aged weirdly (since nayuta was born already a child), but i also thought that she'd stopped ageing when she looked about 25 and was in fact older than she looked, and her being denied any kind of childhood and connection to other people was part of why she was so emotionally immature and acted like a toddler when backed into a corner. but with what that youre saying, im imagining her only being born like five to ten years prior to the events of part 1 and it makes me want to claw at my face. its so much worse. but it fits! the bureau has no qualms recruiting very young people like denji, and to them makima was just a tool anyway and as a devil they considered that she wasnt in need of a childhood at all. it would also fit her having fought pochita 5-6 years ago! jesus christ thats so fucking bleak.

[butchviking]

You know what yeah maybe I should kill myself. And given I have decided the world is worse than death to be compassionate but respectful of autonomy we SHOULD advocate for everyone killing themselves. If autonomy weren’t an issue we should kill others to help them. Theoretically we should kill anyone we think has sufficiently reduced autonomy. Like they can’t comprehend the choice but it is the right one, it’s good medicine. Why should we hold back good medicine. Top 10 methods?

are u a canadian legislator. wtf. girl listen we're all suicidal the world is dark and bleak but its bright too and there's joy and u gotta take the rough w the smooth and dont fucking kill yourself. what the entire fuck. dont fucking kill yourself can you go listen to im a mess frank iero or remember the laughter (album) ray toro or something and reach out to a friend or a coworker or a family member or a professional or a stranger on the street or i guess me, a random fucking tumblr user saying do NOT kys. the tone of this is so baffling to me i feel like im being accused of being pro-suicide or something. my darling i am just a mentally ill mfer on the internet and i dont think people should fucking kill themselves jesus christ the human experience is worth something even in all its misery its worth something do u understand. this is what it is to be human. to b alive. i dont understand whats going on here at all. i have to take this in the best faith bc of course i do but. what is going on. are u alright.

[yapzone]

why i am such a hater on millennials (as a gen z girlie)

(jk ily (i do not))

1. my brother in christ you let the brony fandom happen. i'd forgive you but looking mlp up on youtube when i was 6 was my 9/11

2. give your kids normal names. like harper is cute but dont name your kid like moses or matthaison (this is not a joke i know a fifth grader named that)

3. also color will not kill your children. neither will pbs kids, going outside, or being bored for a little bit

4. stop with the family vlogs before your kids end up with child actor syndrome

5. oh my god shut up we get it you like the 90s we know you like teen titans and we know you like pokemon red and green

6. on that note can you stop being like "oOoOh the old pokemon games are harder" like you werent 10 playing it??? like it doesnt take a rocket scientist to realize swords dance is a good move

7. jesus fucking christ STOP DRAWING PORN OF KIDS CONTENT you are NOT entitled to your own place in a childrens space!!! its like going to a playground and insisting that all kids stay away from the swingsets so you can say bad words, or putting a seperate section for hardcore drugs in a candy store. you're kind of a total creep. this extends to adult characters in kids shows btw, watch what you say on the internet ffs

8. hey shouldnt you guys still be in animation school?

9. look its not your fault but you made a generation of middle schoolers terrified of growing up because the world is apparently a bleak and horrible place and they wont teach you taxes or smth

10. guys. we're not gen alpha. we know what ds's and nyan cat are

11. dude you're gonna fry your kids brains. taking away the ipad wont kill them. also i feel like you're sheltering your kids way too much and i need you to stop

12. anyways you guys arent entitled or bratty for wanting better living conditions or whatever boomers think abt you BUT you're kinda weird

[skarifikator]

i have been very on edge lately. understimulated and overwhelmed at the same time. very lonely but i also fucking struggle to keep up with a conversation or initiate any kind of contact, i feel so dumb. and fearful. i dont even know how to talk about it but my life is so empty and i find it difficult to confide in people in a cohesive way. i feel so unrelatable? i am struggling with some internal stuff that i just. feel like such a loser over. and have for such a long time and its real fucking cliché but knowing that doesn't help. i feel really gross about it. like i wish i was comfortable talking about it in serious but idk if i ever will be at this rate and that scares me a lot?

my future is so bleak too. my current life is bleak but with the change in my living situation on the horizon i am just. struggling to have the energy to even exist tbh. my relationship with my father is going to suffer and my anxiety will only get worse and my social ties will only deteriorate. even my online friendships i feel like are slipping and it's not like i had /that/ many in the first place.

jesus christ. i think i cope as well as i can considering but god i fucking hate this. i hate my existence. i hate how i am i hate how i act. i dont hate myself but i hate what i've let happen to me i hate how complacent i am i hate how i have no legs to stand on and no support system beyond the home left.

i wish i was loved genuinely and not just because of what i am to the people in my life.

[holodeckprotocols]

animorphs 52 (the sacrifice) #thoughts

under the cut!

ax book!!! :')

i like James. I was wary about new recruits but he's got good energy.

i'm still struggling to get used to the fact that the yeerks can morph. but I really appreciate how bad at it they are. not so easy is it hmm???

this dark, dirty slaughter in the tunnel is so bleak :(

aw, ax liking a raccoon morph for its nimble little hands!! so cute!! 

oh god, ax has been communicating with the andalites this whole time? and they're just as useless and cold as ever? fucking GREAT

Jesus Rachel and Cassie have really stopped getting along, haven't they :(

this is an absolutely brutal conversation between ax and Cassie.

wow. is morphing technology the answer? can it be?

"We were children no longer. And we never would be again." AUGHHHHH"

Ax, for the last time... Don't call me prince." CRYYYYYYY

my god this is grisly

ahhh fuck, the controllers helping them ;_; the tide is turning!!

Jesus CHRIST that is a fuckton of damage. my god.

holy shit this one was intense. so glad that Rachel & her mom shared that moment and the team is back together for now ;_;

HWAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[return-to-callalily]

im thinking of getting baptized, catholic. i poke at men who turned religious in the blink of an eye, but i am admittedly exactly that kind of person. why do you think i stash rosaries? i have so much to apologize for. so little to tell them to. thats why i still clung to god despite having cursed him ever since i gained consciousness. ever since i gained consciousness ive felt guilty, and ive hated god. somewhere along those lines, i loved him, too, a sinner’s remorseful affection. i claw at the insides of my mouth, trying to get the words out. i cant. its stupid, i know that. i still wont. i would choke in gods presence before i could apologize. its not my ego, no? thats not it. i have no pride. i think im just scared. i have to ask him for forgiveness again, jesus fucking christ. and again. and again. i can see my childhood, its bleak and ever so familiar. its me telling god im sorry. for the things i was yet to do. i hope all those apologies are enough to compensate for the sins ive now comitted. i have a lifetime of them. im so guilty. im so guilty and my mind is absolute filth, im horrified god would even consider me his child. im not his daughter. he is not my father. no one is. i act like no one is because im covered in guilt its what i wash myself with at the end of the day its what i drink its what i consume and its all that ever comes out of me, guilt, that is, guilt that is gross but alluring. i want not a single person to get close to me because of that. no fathers. no nothing. they know too much, they did this. im dripping with guilt and i embrace it it fucking STINGS to do that but its what i have to do, because its all ill ever feel. i know it doesnt make me evil but it makes me fucking similar to him oh my god i hate this i hate this i hate him he makes me so uncomfortable please please please tell me its not i who ruined what we had tell me its him please point your fingers at him i cant go on with burden like this constantly weighing down my conscience. its like his stupid comments never left my memory, his insensitivity and ambiguity... so hes always been like this. but i used to love my father so much. that was the problem. i shouldve leaned towards my mother more. i shouldve seeked comfort in my mother instead because until now i can still bring myself to stay right next to her. you know i cant even force myself to ride shotgun when my father is driving? where in the hell am i supposed to find the solace a father’s embrace gives you then? if not within my own? im afraid people wont understand me. what good father does that? but what bad father does that? ... i dont know. i dont know. i feel im angry FOR my mother. she should be fuming, frustrated, instead, im the one who feels that rage. when i was younger they used to be hers. and now all of a sudden she doesnt want to have to do anything with it goddamn forgiveness and forgetfulness. the things i would do for a father. the things i would do for a father figure who is ANYTHING but like him. i wouldnt deserve that man then, because id be asking for someone who’s nothing like me. maybe he’d look at me loathsome... what kind of fucking daughter is this? brain in the gutter. who raised her, right? see how i can only ever write with such passionate hatred when it comes to my father? they dont have to be articulate and comprehensible. i dont get him either. but the emotion is right here. its right here. im not letting it run away. im a stranger to myself but this emotion is not. it runs deeeeep, streams forever, cools down never, its what you feel at the presence of a father who has not done right by your upbringing

[mizkit]

new blog post: art vs industry

new blog post on https://mizkit.com/art-vs-industry/

art vs industry

Elsewhere a friend posted an image of all the upcoming/in development Marvel projects, of which there were…many…like, over 20…and made a comment about whether it was art or industry.

It turned out I had some feelings on that. :)

I think Marvel walks an interesting line between art and industry. A lot of it’s industry, which is fine because it IS an industry. And since I find, IDK, probably 80% of that industry’s product to be entertaining, I’m pretty happy with that. My problems with the industry aspect of it lie in where they are overworking and underpaying the people, especially the VXF artists, who are carrying so very much of the weight of these films, and in where they’re rushing things that could be good and fail to be because of the headlong pursuit of the Almighty Dollar. So yeah, on that front, I find the industry side problematic.

On the other hand, it’s an artistic industry by its nature, in which they occasionally they strive for and achieve Art, and I think those moments, those films, are sublime, and they actively bring me joy: Winter Solider is as good a spy film as there is, and Black Panther is a stunning achievement on basically every level.

But I also get to-my-toes-thrills out of many of the rank commercialism moments: Bucky flipping that motorcycle makes me go whuff every time, I was in the theatre shrieking my head off when Cap finally said “Avengers, assemble!”, and I burst into tears (I am in fact tearing up now remembering it) when they brought all the Marvel women together for that one big shot. That’s what I wanted. Was it art? Hell if I know, but it made me happy, which is what really matters to me.

I think I’m really not very precious about ‘art’, though, honestly. I’m a working artist. I make my own living mostly through industry: I write paranormal romance because it sells and I need to pay the rent and the bills and for my kid’s clothes. Out of the 50+ books I’ve published, I think probably three of them are what I’d consider art, and that, IDK, 60% of the others have moments of the sublime/active artistic beauty and merit. I think the other 40% are fun, and that’s their job. They’re meant to be escapist. Maybe there are some life lessons or really important moments in them for other people. I’d like to think so, but mostly I want to make readers happy for a little while, and I’m told it works.

And that’s what most Marvel movies & tv do for me. If I want Art with a Capital A, I’ll watch something else. I’ll watch, IDK, August: Osage County, which is the last film I went to on purpose that I thought would make me cry (the last one i went to that i DIDN’T think would make me cry which i FRICKIN’ SOBBED THROUGH was IF, holy god, I was not prepared, Jesus H Christ). I’ll watch Portrait of a Lady on Fire, or…IDK, man. There’s plenty of it available if that’s what I’m after. But the truth is, I’m usually not looking for Art. I’m already emotionally ground down and worn out and I rarely want to watch movies that are going to depress me or making me cry or even, honestly, expect me to think all that much, most of the time. Too much of what we sell as Art is bleak instead of uplifting, and man, there’s enough bleak to deal with already.

I suppose the point is mostly that I don’t think art and industry are separate beasts. I think the idea that artists shouldn’t make any money to keep their art pure is fucking nonsense. I think the Marvel films employ tens of thousands of people in artistic endeavors ranging from headline actors to costumers to lighting designers to construction workers and on and on. From that perspective, arguably there’s very little as artistic as a Marvel production in the modern world.

I don’t think that most of the time they’re…they’re not Loving Vincent kinds of Art, where a film about Vincent Van Gogh was turned into a living painting in an act of single-minded dedication and passion, but it’s difficult to argue, in my opinion, that the Marvel films don’t have something to say about the human condition. We love the visual theatrics of the superhero powers, but it was Vision’s line, “What is grief, if not love persevering?” that actually brought us to our knees. Tony’s and Cap’s ability to almost connect and then the frustration of their failing to is what twists our heart. If Rocket’s excavated rage in Guardians 3, and the entirety of Wakanda Forever, offering catharsis to hundreds of millions of people who had suffered a shocking loss together, isn’t art, then I don’t know what the hell is.

So, yeah. I guess I think it’s a false dichotomy, and I get why people are frustrated with the commercialization of the art, but, like. That’s how it works! Comics have always been commercial! Pantheons have always been there to sell you something! Movies are a commercial product! Do I think it’s arguably problematic that it seems like the only movies/tv people are watching (or at least, going to the theatre for) seem to be the big smash-em-up escapism thing?

…no. No, actually, I really, really don’t. I think the problem is that the world is exhausting and movies are very, very expensive, and if you’re going to choose A Thing to spend your probably-very-limited entertainment budget on, it’s completely reasonable to choose The Thing that everybody else is going to see! The water cooler movies! We all went to Barbenheimer! We all went to Deadpool & Wolverine! We’re all gonna go to…I don’t actually know what the next actual must-see movie is gonna be, let’s call it Minecraft bc that seems sure to make pundits mad that people are going to it instead of, IDK, The Bikeriders!

We’re not doing that because we Hate Art, we’re doing it because there’s still a pandemic on and we can only afford a theatrical release film once a quarter if we’re lucky and if we’re gonna go to one at all we want it to be the one we can talk about with everybody else! The rest of it can wait 3 months (or less!!!) until our family of 4 can watch it for the cost of the streaming service that we’re paying for anyway, with homemade popcorn and a pause button for when we’ve drunk our body weight in Pepsi but don’t want to miss any of the movie!

Did I get off track? Yes! Do I feel strongly about this? Also yes! Did it turn out that further discussion with my friend determined we meant different things by ‘art’ and ‘industry’ and am I going to yhave to write an entirely different post in response to that? Also-also yes! Am I going to stop writing now because I can’t think of a good wrap-up paragraph? Also-also-also yes! :)