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yatgb · 1 year ago

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Annnnd the results are in! The answer that was false is.....

Answer #9! Nobody transforms into a giant kraken to cause chaos in Splatoon.

There is a special ability called Kraken that you can use in multiplayer online, but it has no bearing on the story/lore so it is the false one. Everyone who doubted that bears existed im so sorry to say that you are wrong

Also yes i admit to the crime of Lying A Little To Sound Funny so some of these are technical lies and tripped up even veterans of the series. Sorrey <3 i know the sea urchin doesnt actually mug you and i know beef jerky doesnt exist it was an attempt to sound funny T_T

Explanations for all the other statements are under the cut! All links take you to a relevant Inkipedia page for further research if you so wish, but ill try to explain each as concisely as i can.

Ultimately this was an excuse to infodump and i did NOT expect it to blow up the way it did >XP i did enjoy reading the tags of non-fans and which ones they thought was the outlier, so thank you everyone who participated!! If this convinced you to check the series out, ill consider my job here done. Even if you dont check out the series, thanks for looking at this silly poll <3

Without further ado, let me explain the batshit stuff i mentioned and also lied about a little

"the city gets its power from a massive electrified catfish"

The Great Zapfish is, as stated, a massive catfish with electrified whiskers. It sits at the center of city and generates power for everyone. Every game, the Zapfish is stolen and there's worries of a power crisis until it's rescued. Look at the guy! Its just a little man

"Squid ppl are inherently violent and their favorite passtime is bloodsports"

Okay i lied by accident on this one because i was remembering in-universe propaganda. Oops

So, Inklings (evolutionary form of squids) arent inherently violent, but they do take great pride in their victory over the Octarians during The Great Turf War 100 years ago. In memory of that victory, they started Ink Battles to let off steam and fight against each other in a friendly competition.

Turf Wars are the default Ink Battle, where the goal is to cover as much ground in your team's color as possible and is modeled after how The Great Turf War functioned. There are four other modes (Clam Blitz, Splat Zones, Tower Control, and Rainmaker) used in more competitive ranked battles. Inklings can respawn after dying, so they tend to aim for taking out their opponents as if it were an actual war being fought. Imagine if football players killed each other on the field thats basically what this is

"A bear steals a rocket ship to nuke the entire planet"

rip to everyone who didnt believe bears existed in splatoon. In fact there is One (1) bear that exists and he wanted to destroy the world bc he got too lonely </3

Mr. Grizz is the only survivor of a conservation effort gone wrong. He didn't cope well with being the only mammal left on earth after being cryofrozen for 12,000 years, and after a lot of experimentation discovered a way to create a substance called "Fuzzy Ooze" that could turn the evolved sealife into mammals. He repurposed a rocket ship left behind by a society of humans, loaded it with Fuzzy Ooze, and planned to crash it into Earth to coat the planet in it and "restore balance" (aka: bring mammals back to life). He was defeated, and is now harmlessly orbiting the Earth in space.

"a borderline illegal business involving mass slaughtering (sentient) fish"

Salmonids are an evolved amphibious species of salmon, which hatch their young from Golden Eggs. Mr. Grizz needed Golden Eggs as part of producing Fuzzy Ooze, and he needed lots of them for as much ooze as possible.

He founded Grizzco Industries to hire Inklings and Octolings to collect the eggs for him in a gamemode called Salmon Run, which is essentially COD Zombies but with salmon coming to attack. In this gamemode, your goal is to meet a quota of collected Golden Eggs which you get from killing Boss Salmonids, who have a variety of ways to attack you.

Grizzco Industries is very shady and was made to mimic your typical Toxic Workplace. Abysmal and dangerous working conditions, forcing employees to use illegally modified weapons, paying employees with prize capsules and currencies only useable in Grizzco shops instead of actual money... the list goes on. Mr. Grizz doesn't tell his employees why he needs the Golden Eggs, and never actually meets them face-to-face at all; every order is given through a pre-recorded radio.

Essentially, Mr. Grizz is taking advantage of the Inklings and Octolings having no idea what the Salmonids are actually like and spreads propaganda about them being mindless monsters who want to invade their city, all so they'll go out and get their Golden Eggs for him.

"theres a sea urchin who will mug you in a back alley"

Yes this is one i exaggerated for funsies and ppl got confused. Sorrey </3

Spyke is a sea urchin who hangs out in a back alley in Inkopolis, offering you services to do with your battle gear; specifically the abilities they can give you.

These services are ambiguous and maybe illegal (he asks if youre a cop when you first meet him and never really explains what he's doing, just that he can give you what you want) and he gets pushy if he notices that you have Super Sea Snails, which act as a food source/delicacy for him and a currency that you can use in place of cash for certain things he can do.

No he never actually mugs you but look at this guy

He'd absolutely shank a guy for a tasty snail. Also hes british

"fish ppl can batter and fry themselves like food as a fashion statement"

We see these in two NPCS; Crusty Sean and Fred Crumbs.

Crusty Sean is a shoe shop owner turned food truck owner turned explorer whos entire personality is being a fried shrimp. Fred Crumbs is a japanese horse mackrel that's been filleted and fried and takes over Crusty Sean's shoe shop. Dont ask how they survive this just smile and nod and accept the fried fish selling you shoes. How is he even wearing the shoes i dont knwo

"a testing facility murders its participants and uses the bodies to end the world"

rip to the people who thought this one wasnt real. This place is fucking crazy. This is literally the plot of Splatoon 2's 80s themed DLC, Octo Expansion.

The Kamabo Corporation, known as Kamabo Co., is a company created by Commander Tartar, a 12,000 year old AI gone rogue and set on wiping out all evolved sealife and creating a new, "superior" species. They're stationed in the Deepsea Metro, an underwater society of deep sea cretures.

The test involves kidnapping someone, erasing their memories, and convincing them that they can reach "The Promised Land" by passing the trial of gathering 4 "thangs". In reality, these 4 items combine to create a blender, which Tartar coerces them inside of and promptly kills them, blending them into a slurry and adding that slurry to the test subjects that came before them. All of these slurries of dead bodies combine to create Sanitized Ink, a substance that can essentially turn someone into a zombie or even kill them. This test was run with over 10,000 applicants, as the character you play as in the DLC is applicant 10,008.

When it's found out, Tartar attempts to load the Sanitized Ink into a laser cannon to be shot at the most populated city, Inkopolis, but is intercepted and defeated. The statue that Tartar used as its base of operations is still sunk into the water, but wrecked and useless.

"World War 2 is stopped bc 2 girls sang a really good song"

Another one that was sort of exaggerated for funnies

In the first two Splatoon games, DJ Octavio acts as the main antagonist, who steals The Great Zapfish from Inkopolis. Agent 3 and Agent 4 respectively defeat him and rescue the Zapfish, empowered by Callie and Marie singing the Calamari Inkantation, which also serves to distract DJ Octavio and convince members of the Octarian Army to defect.

No its not explicity stated that a war would break out but like. The inklings are gonna want their main sorce of power back yknow. And octarians are enemies of the state. Also if you havent PLEASE listen to calamari inkantation itll blow ur tits clean off

"Someone does a magical girl transformation into a strip of beef jerky"

I am so sorry for tripping everyone up by adding the word beef. Thats my bad

Anyway, this is referencing when Cap'n Cuttlefish was dehydrated by Mr. Grizz in an attempt to kill him. He's left stuck in his squid form, flattened and looking cooked, and references often being tired and thirsty. Look at this guy. Unauthorized fucking thing blow it up now

(Also a normal inkling squid form for reference. Dude is dried the fuck up)

Anyway if you got this far, thank u for absorbing the information :] once again sorry for failing to be funnie </3 if this poll or these explanations made you want to check out the series, i recommend watching a longplay on youtube. Unless you have a wii u you cant play Splatoon 1, and Splatoon 2 and 3 are both $60 (and the Octo Expansion in Splat2 is an extra $20) and i know nobody wants to spend that money lmfao. But theres a wealth of information on youtube and Inkipedia and even here on tumblr!

Happy splatting and stay squiddy <3

getting inspired by all these polls so

Dont vote if you know the answer!!!! I wanna see what non splooners think :3 also maybe reblog to get this out there???

#jesus christ i love u guys. my notes r hell /pos #splatoon

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towerofgodscreamblogwink · 3 years ago

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reading im not even sure which chap oh no wait it’s 85 i actually put it in notes great

reading 85-86 s3 but nothing is happening we are happy lo po bia family

...

(white’s interrupts flashbacks, aria hates this arc, khun might have onlyfans, hansung almost sings a furry song)

happy disclaimer cos i don’t want any awkward convos: these readings were made weeks ago cause im up to date with raws, but waitin till official release till i post (so i can replace the screens with official ones) (unless ill get impatient and just post with fan translations as soon as they come out lol)

white: hell yeah dude it’s super cool

BAM: STOP TALKING IN MY FLASHBACK

“It’s just what he does” - siu

me: how abt ill do the edits after am finished

other me: no

also fun fact my mouse decided to commit rip so i need to do it with touchepad

BAM: BECAUSE...WE MADE...A PINKY PROMISE!!

aria: no we didn’t

bam: we didn’t??

and so bam left aria

wait, didn’t you say your lives had expire date-? and that’s why there was a spell on y’all in the first place?? DOES IT MEAN SHE’LL JUST DIE AT SOME POINT LATER ??