#jesus christ I can't tell you how happy i am rn

[andvys]

EMMY YOU DID IT AGAIN! IM DEAD. I NEED A MOMENT AFTER READING THIS!!

first of all, reader is such a hot badass? I wish I was her 😩

“Want something stronger than that?” The voice belonged to the curly-haired boy you were looking everywhere for. I always get so blushy and giddy whenever Eddie appears

He and Steve shared one thing in common; you.

Maybe that’s eventually what drew them closer, both boys begging for your attention in every way possible. Pathetic, but you were so tempting. OH? that's what drew them closer huh?

He didn’t blame him, he’d burn the world down if you asked him to OH MY GOD??? EXCUSE ME??? OH HES DOWN BAD.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Billy scoffs, “You fuck him one time, and look how pathetic you get. No wonder everyone keeps calling you a slut—” Once again, I want to punch this stupid asshole, he is so annoying, a menace in every universe, Emmy 😩

A loud thud resounds in your ears, you barely register what happened before you turn to see Steve shaking off his fist with a smirk on his face. “Don’t fucking call her that again.”  FUCK YESSSS! DEFEND YOUR GIRL!

“You think Michael Myers is hot?”

“Yeah!” You nodded, “Too weird for you, Munson?” you nudged him playfully.

literally me rn:

(when I saw Eddie in the michael myers mask I— no i’m not gonna say)

“More.” You hiss out a breath as his fingertips gently circle your clit. It’s demanding, and Eddie’s amber gaze is dark as it meets yours. “Behave,” He warns, it’s electrifying, making you want to disobey more than anything, everything about him draws you in. the way I would've passed out if he told me to behave I--

“Makin’ prettiest noises for me, such a good girl, aren’t ya?” IM SCREAMING!!!! JUST SCREAMING

“Needy little slut,” he murmurs in your ear. “Steve wasn’t enough for you?” thinking about his deep voice, him saying that makes me just.....

“That stays on.” He hums against your chest, fingers sliding over the tight little skirt you were wearing, flipping it over to your stomach but not taking it off.  OH I LOVE IT WHEN HE TELLS HIS GIRL TO KEEP HER SKIRT ON 😩 SOMETHING ABOUT IT IS JUST SO 😩

“Jesus fucking Christ… look at this cunt… just soaked for me,” NASAKHDFKASKA

His mind was almost spiraling, that insecurity he felt years ago almost returning and the image was quick to shatter. Why didn’t you want him? Why did you want Eddie? POOR INSECURE STEVIEEEEE. DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE NEXT

“Dude, do you realize what that means?” 

“What?” Eddie inquired. 

“Oh my sweet, sweet, Munson…” Steve tssked, “She wants both of us.” YES YES YES I AM SO READY FOR THE THREESOME, THESE FILTHY FUCKERS ARE GONNA BE SO INTENSE 😩

Emmy, you never fail to amaze me with your writing. Your smuts are literally one of the bests on here, it's so easy to get into your stories, I always have the best time reading them!!!

The Eddie smut??????? I'M NOT OKAY! I'M NOOOOT OKAY! I'm so happy that she fucked him first 😌

I love your reader, she is so hot and badass, I love how much she's teasing them! The ice cream part???? That was so fucking hot omfg.

I can't wait to see what will happen in the next part. I already know I'm in for a wild ride and I'm so fucking excited!!!!

This story has me in a chokehold, I love it and I love u bff 💕

˚ 　　　 . ✧ 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐄

vol 2; summer breeze — king!steve harrington x fgirl!reader x eddie munson

summary: in which some chaos ensues between the boys and billy, and one of the boys finally get what they want; you. (wc: 6.5k+)

warnings: smut smut smut, minors DNI, p in v, creampie, unprotected (wrap it up irl im so serious) kinda fist fight? billy gets punched, im sorry but billy gets punched a lot in my fics, protective steddie hehe, drgs, weed basically, no use of ‘y/n’, degrading, praises, LOTS OF PRAISES, nicknames! reader is kinda heartless basically a maneater and kinda of a mastermind, eddie is a cutiepie.

authors note: not proof-read ignore mistakes ! thank u @andvys for giving me the best ideas always and thank u for helping me! ily and hope u enjoy this mwah!!! also yall know mastermind by ts? and how its kinda supposed to be sarcastic? well i took that song too seriously and literally. listened to a lot of metal and this fic is their love child! enjoy !!

and please like + reblog + interact to support me ! thank u ily

read vol. 1 here

Fuzzy.

Exactly how your mind and body felt.

You didn’t expect to do that with Steve.

King Steve. You were just supposed to play with him.

He wasn’t supposed to make you feel like this.

And it wasn’t anything, it was purely physical. Or at least that’s what your mind forced you to think.

Because no one had ever made you cum like that before, no one ever attended to you like that before.

Pathetic. Really pathetic. You’ve fucked half the guys in Hawkins, yet one night with Steve, and he didn’t even fuck you, yet that’s all you could think about.

You sucked on the cigarette sitting between your lips, the feeling giving you a lewd reminder of earlier when you remembered how good he felt between your lips, sliding down your throat.

Shit shit shit. Shut the fuck up. What the fuck was wrong with you?

“Want something stronger than that?” The voice belonged to the curly-haired boy you were looking everywhere for.

It felt like a fucked up horny deja vu. 

Turning around swiftly, the smoke formed around the air between you when you blew it in his face, making him grin. “Eddie!” Your tone gleeful, “Been looking everywhere for you!” Sweet. Sweet but so fucking dangerous. Eddie knew that about you.

He knew about the effect you had on everyone. I mean, he wasn’t complaining, he was right there in line with them. Just to have a glimpse of you.

He and Steve shared one thing in common; you.

Maybe that’s eventually what drew them closer, both boys begging for your attention in every way possible. Pathetic, but you were so tempting.

They teased each other about you, Eddie bragged about the countless times you batted your lashes at him, the countless times you twirled and giggled at him.

and Steve bragged about how you looked at him with your alluring eyes, or how you called him ‘baby’ that one time. 

Eddie was sure he had never seen Steve the way he did with you, because Steve usually never got hung up on one girl, it was simple for him, he’d fuck one and then move to another. But you always kept him on his toes. Something no one ever did before. So he always tried and tried, failing regardless. 

He didn’t blame him, he’d burn the world down if you asked him to, even though the only interactions he had with you were when you bought something from him, or the countless times you winked at him whenever he saw you around. God, that had him on his knees. 

So it was no surprise he almost melted when you said those magical words. You? Looking for him? 

“Me?” A rush of bubblegum pink is quick to rise to his cheeks. He can’t help himself, Steve was going to freak out when he found out how you were looking for Eddie. God, he was going to have fun with this. 

“Where’s Billy?” He added, trying to sound cool when he lit the freshly rolled joint sitting on his wetted lips. 

He was cute. Didn’t even know the rumors, and the blush on his cheeks weirdly had you need him. 

“We broke up,” you hummed, and a boyish grin sat on his lips immediately while he noted how you didn’t have a sad bone in your body, that jerk didn’t deserve you. “I’m just having fun now, you know?” You added with a smirk. 

You were going to be the death of him. He could be fun, he could be so fucking fun, he could make you feel fun you’ve never felt before. 

“Oh, yeah? With who, now?” Shit, shit, shit. That is not what he meant to say, he was an absolute fucking idiot. A grade one asshole.  

Your eyes widened when you tilted your head, “are you calling me a slut, Munson?” You snatched the joint from his lips, earning a whine from him as you kept your piercing eye contact. 

The pinkish color on his cheeks turned blood red, and you could see him almost fidgeting. Why did you find it so endearing? 

“N-no! No that’s not what I meant at all! You’re not a slut! I mean if you want to be you could be— I mean you’re not but—” His words tangled with each other adorably, and you couldn’t help but let out a deep chuckle. 

“I’m just playing with you!” You playfully nudged his shoulder, adoring the way his grin came back instantly, you took a long drag from the joint before passing it back to him. “Don’t worry, baby.” 

Eddie almost lost it at that.

Suck it, Steve. She called him baby, too, and now they were fucking even. 

“I’m having fun with everyone that douchebag hates.” You muttered with a smirk. 

Eddie desperately needed to make Billy hate him, maybe he could rip him off the next time he brought from him, or maybe he could just… sucker punch him? 

“Steve was fun.” You giggled, remembering the way he was so pathetically begging for you to stay. And you had to admit he was good, the best you had in this messed up town. 

Eddie blinked quickly, struggling to process what you just said… You.. and.. Steve?

“Steve?” He almost stammered, face growing hot at what you were implying, did that little asshole actually manage to be with you? You?!? 

“Steve Harrington?” He repeated.

“Yeah,” you hummed, brows scrunching at his dumbfounded expression… What was going on? Was he… jealous?

 “You jealous, Munson?” You giggled with a smirk, brow raised and all bold. So upfront that it has Eddie stammering and blushing all over again. 

“N-no, uh— Steve is my friend is all.” He adds, taking a long drag from the joint to keep himself together, he has to look all confident because he wants to impress you. 

He just doesn’t know that you being all flustered is what draws your attention. Confident but still cute. The exact mix you need for Steve’s arrogance. And they’re friends? Fuck, just the thought of them together has you rubbing your thighs. 

“Oh!” You hum, “That’s funny because I was actually going to go for you, but Steve found me first.” You know the effect that will have on Eddie, you see it in the way he coughs while exhaling the smoke, wetting his lips while he tries to play it cool. 

Sadly, it’s all interrupted by the one and only. Billy fucking Hargrove. 

His hand roughly makes you turn to him before you can comprehend what’s happening, “Fucking Harrington, really?” He spat in your face, nostrils flaring with how angry he was, but all it did was make you want to laugh in his face—the audacity of this little boy. 

Eddie’s quicker than you to react, trying to push him away from you but Billy shakes off his hold. ��Get away from her.” Eddie spits. Billy ignores him with a scoff, attention all on you. 

You hate the way your stomach flutters at Eddie being protective, what the fuck are these boys doing to you?

“You kiss Tina in front of everyone, and me fucking Harrington is the problem?”

“You fucked him?” Billy lets out through gritted teeth, technically, you didn’t but it seemed like Billy only thought the two of you kissed. 

Before you could answer he clenched his fists, “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him.” 

Shit. You really didn’t think this through, did you? 

A guilty feeling settled into your stomach, Steve didn’t deserve that. And he definitely didn’t deserve to get beaten up because of you. You swallowed the lump in your throat and grabbed Billy by the arm to stop him from searching for Steve.

“D-don’t!” 

“Excuse me?” Billy said, pinching his brows together.

“Please don’t do anything to him.” Eddie watches everything unravel, taken aback by how willing you are to throw yourself under the bus for Steve. It makes his brows furrow and makes him almost get a glimpse of you, behind that cool facade, behind that whole act. It entices him more and more.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Billy scoffs, “You fuck him one time, and look how pathetic you get. No wonder everyone keeps calling you a slut—”

A loud thud resounds in your ears, you barely register what happened before you turn to see Steve shaking off his fist with a smirk on his face. “Don’t fucking call her that again.” 

Billy chuckles loudly at the impact, blood quickly dripping down his nose and an obvious red mark bruising his cheek. “My my, Harrington coming to defend his new little slut, huh?” 

And this time, another thud of a punch resonated from your side, and you audibly gasp. 

Eddie. 

These boys were going to be the death of you, appearing out of nowhere and then doing shit like this. 

They stood in front of you, arms crossed against their chest as they eyed Billy groaning on the ground, it wasn’t long before Tina came with her annoying shriek and a crowd formed around the four of you, the two boys were quick to drag you out of the party. 

“Couldn’t stay away from me, could you, sweetheart?” Steve muttered in your ear with his lips twitched into a smirk. 

Cocky bastard. 

You gave him a slight smile. “Actually… I was looking for this one,” you hummed sweetly, hand gently nudging Eddie’s shoulder. A grin sat on his lips, he itched to elbow Steve, who just gave him a roll of his eyes. 

“But, thank you, both.” You give them a shy smile, it’s meaningful, and you’re grateful to have them protect you. 

“Anything for our special girl,” Steve winks.

“Want us to take you home?” Eddie interrupts, eyeing you, he can see that you’re a bit shaken up, even though you try to hide it. 

“No need, boys. Can walk home!” You giggle with a wink. 

“We insist.” Steve steps up, leaning into the car, hips jutted out. All slutty, and it’s tempting. But, no. 

You had fucked up enough today and gotten your feelings too involved. You couldn’t do it. 

You gave both of them a sloppy kiss on their cheek before you got on your feet, “My house is just around the corner.” 

“See you around, boys.” You winked one last time, turning back before they could say anything, walking away with a strut as you could almost feel their gaze burn your back. 

Both boys watched you with their jaws almost open, teeth biting onto their bottom lips with hope. They wanted—needed you. 

。°。°。°。°。°

“I’m tellin’ you dude, it was fuckin’ unreal. She was just so good,” Steve hummed into the ice cream he took a stripe of lick from.

Eddie grunted. “Jesus, fuck. Still can’t believe she let you even near her.” He glared daggers into him.

Steve grumbled a chuckle, nudging him. “Jealous much, Munson?” His lips curled into a boyish grin, face inches away from Eddie who was now stammering.

“C’mon, we can share, can’t we big boy?” Steve winked, enjoying the crimson red coloring the curly boy’s puffy cheeks.

“Nothing we haven’t done before,” He hummed, sucking his cheeks with a ‘mmhmm’ sound as the flavors of the strawberry goodness flooded his senses.

They did have threesomes before, but this was different, this was you. It meant so much more to Eddie, and selfishly, he wanted you to himself first, too. 

“If you can even get her,” Steve smirked, knowing if it took him this long, Eddie would have to try for years.

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Eddie winked with a new-found confidence

“I’ll turn on the Munson charm.” He snapped his fingers together with a wicked grin, “and she’ll be beggin’ for me in no time.” 

Steve couldn’t even keep the throaty chuckle for a second before he patted Eddie on the back. “Good fuckin’ luck with that.” 

You shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but how could you not when they were right fucking in front of you?!

And after Steve said, they had done threesomes before, your mouth watered just at the thought of both boys towering over you, attending to your every need, trying to dominate you but also pathetically begging for more. 

And if you framed everything correctly, they’d want to fuck you and would think they were the ones in charge, not knowing you were the mastermind behind all of it.

“Hi, boys!” You waved with a giggle, rushing to their side as your skirt rode up your thigh, both boys turning their bodies fully to meet you. 

Both of their Adam’s apple bobbing at the sight of you—a graphic baby tee showing just enough of your skin, paired with the most perfect skirt Steve has ever seen, and Eddie’s eyes were almost glued to your chest, enjoying the way your breasts jiggled as you walked. 

You couldn’t hide your smirk at their widened eyes, men were so easy. 

They both stammered, and you wished you weren’t enjoying this so fucking much. But, you were. You had to have both of them. 

Letting your tongue swirl around the cone in your hand, you looked up at Eddie. “What flavor is that?” 

“Chocolate,” He replied quickly, “I love chocolate!” You exclaimed, and Eddie grew weak in his knees, gulping and letting his cock strain himself against his zipper. God, he felt like a fucking pervert. 

“Do you wanna try some?” He barely managed to speak clearly and you nodded quickly with a grin, Steve watching it all with a huff. 

Without giving him a chance to do anything, you wrapped your palm around his, giggling while you let the cold silkiness coat your tongue, lapping at it while your focus remained on Eddie’s dark eyes. 

He almost groaned at the sight; you knew that was your cue. “Tastes so delicious, Eds.” You hummed with an exaggerated sound, reveling in the way Eddie blinked quickly to register all of it. 

“Wanna try mine?” Steve’s silky, cocky voice had your attention shifting, you raised a single brow, shrugging. 

“Already tried that, thanks,” Your voice carries a bit of coldness but is still alluring enough to have Steve crave more from you. 

“I don’t think you tried all of it, sweetheart,” His voice still held that cool tone, tongue sticking out to lick a stripe from the cone wrapped around his palm, almost giving you a flashback as rosy lips framed the words so lewd that you had to do something. 

You were quick to tilt your head sideways, leaning in just enough to have your velvety lips against his, Eddie watched in awe, enjoying the way you sucked on Steve’s tongue, letting the sweet strawberry flavor explode your taste buds as exaggerated sounds left your lips as you pulled away, leaving Steve with nothing. 

“Mhmm, you’re right, Stevie,” You hummed, Steve’s face wearing a shock you hadn’t seen before. “But I think mine, tastes so much better…” You cooed facing Eddie, “Wouldn’t you agree, pretty boy?” You directed it at Steve, relishing the dumbfounded look on his face, while Eddie watched all of it with a contented sigh. 

He needed both of you. 

You needed both of them. 

And Steve would do anything for you, and for Eddie, even if he never would explicitly show it. 

“Y-yeah,” he stammered, bringing a wicked smirk to your face. Easy. 

Before you turned to leave, you faced Eddie, “Oh!” 

“Do you have any free time this afternoon?” If you gave him those eyes and that sweet tone, he’d give you all of his time in the world. 

“Uh-huh, of course.” He's sure his voice sounds so squeaky but you smile at him so sweetly that it melts away all his worries.

“Okay, do you mind if I drop by? I need something to relax, and to let a little bit of my steam off…” You winked at him, you couldn’t be more obvious, and Eddie almost went limp at your words, no need for the Munson charm after all. 

“S-sure!” He exclaimed, mouth curling into a wide grin. 

“See you later, boys.”

。°。°。°。°。°

“Really?” Eddie eyed you with a raise of his brows, getting more and more comfortable the further both of you inhaled from the rolled joint, your knee brushed against his, and his worries ghosted away with it. 

“You think Michael Myers is hot?”

“Yeah!” You nodded, “Too weird for you, Munson?” you nudged him playfully.

“No, no! It’s just… how? He has a mask on,”

With a shrug, “The mask is the appeal,” you giggle. 

He scrunches his brows, confused. “The mystery of the mask is what makes him sexy.” You shrug, and a soft ‘oh!’ escapes his lips. 

He’s quick to ash the joint to the skull resin ashtray, getting up in a rush, causing you to furrow your brows, “what the hell are you doing?”

He turns with a grin, “getting a mask.” 

You giggle at that, “Oh, trust me, you don’t need a mask pretty boy.”

“W-what?” He blinks quickly to process all of it, bringing a wide smile to your lips as you almost drag him by the collar of his shirt. 

Eddie’s almost frozen, his mind explodes at how forward you’re being, pants getting tighter when he realizes how close you are to him. 

It’s finally happening and he can feel himself melt into you, he lets you stripe him of his control and his lips part slightly in surprise. 

Mind struggling to process if this is all real. With a giggle you take him by surprise when you tug your fingertips at his messy curls, twisting his head to the side as you crash your lips down to his. 

Dangerously sweet, addicting, and bold. And Eddie is putty in your hands.

“The prettiest lips,” you hum into his mouth. 

“Yeah?” He almost blushes a rosy color, and you can’t help but relish that feeling, letting it sink to your chest at how beautiful he looks when he’s so flushed, and you realize you need both of them. 

You need Steve’s cockiness, you need Eddie’s tentativeness at the same fucking time. 

And both of their dominance. 

You whimper needily, the feel and taste of his soft lips flood all over your body, making you ache. Holy shit, he’s fucking good. 

“F-fuck,” He whimpers as he pulls back, mind trying to register everything, but he’s quick to dive back in once he realizes he just stopped kissing you. 

A passionate, needy kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth, teeth nibbling on your bottom lip, as his hand roughly grabs your waist, pulling you further. You feel hot, skin buzzing at how demanding he is. 

Then he slowly moves from your lips to your jaw, down to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over, and you can’t help but feel that warm slickness coating your thighs at how fucking needy he is for you. 

And you know exactly what you need to do to lure him in, entirely. 

“N-need you, Eds,” you whine into his lips, brows pinched together and Eddie’s already about to explode in his pants, you’re fucking perfect. 

“Where do you need me, angel?” He asks, all obedient and it has your core throbbing with need. 

Your thighs part slowly, skirt riding up more and more as you expose yourself to him, and Eddie’s teeth drag on his bottom lip at the sight. “Here,” nails rake on the surface of the couch beneath your legs, pussy fully on display. 

He almost groans at the sight, but no, he has to take control back again, he has to impress you. 

And he wants to savor this moment, enjoy you, fully. 

It gives him all the confidence he needs, with a slight push he has you on your back, sprawled on the couch, you’re surprised by the sudden change of control, but anticipation jumps in your insides, not knowing his next move is exciting and you let him enjoy it. 

His hands start to idly run everywhere on your body, all grabby and rough. You don’t know what to expect from him, and it certainly isn’t this, his hold on your hips, breasts, and thighs, enough to leave a mark, still gentle, still attentive but equally rough and it has you almost whining out. 

He’s perfect. 

“Needy baby,” He hums, planting a sloppy kiss on your neck. “What do you need… my fingers or my tongue?” 

You shamelessly spread your legs further, enjoying his weight on top of you, hard bulge pressing against your thigh, but you need more. “Both.” 

And your whiny answer is all he needs, his rough hands travel down to your inner thighs, almost toying as he drags his mouth all over you. Nibbling and biting all over your neck, shoulder, breasts, everywhere. 

He’s quick to drop down between your legs, and he groans at the sight of your puffy lips and dampened thighs, “Jesus Christ…” His teeth draw on his bottom lip.

“No panties?” 

“Nuh-uh,” you giggle shamelessly, and he’s almost fucking gone. The fabric of his pants so painfully harsh against his erected cock that he hisses. 

Your legs quiver when he traces a finger around your opening teasingly and his mouth is pressing kisses down your inner thigh, sloppy and filthy. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he hums into you. 

Your little whimpers and the sight of you so relaxed make Eddie a madman, he understands Steve’s non-stop blabbing about you the last few days, granted, he always knew you were perfect. 

But once he gets a taste of this, and a sight of you like this, he knows he can’t fucking quit, ever. 

“More.” You hiss out a breath as his fingertips gently circle your clit. It’s demanding, and Eddie’s amber gaze is dark as it meets yours. “Behave,” He warns, it’s electrifying, making you want to disobey more than anything, everything about him draws you in. 

With a smirk, you run your hand down his arms, meeting his fingertips with a gaze so dangerously lewd that Eddie’s eyes almost roll to the back of his head. “But I’m aching… I need so much more.” 

He groans, loudly. “So fucking needy, aren’t you? Only for me, huh?” 

He wants reassurance, he wants you to tell him he’s better than Steve. And you don’t, because you need both of them, so you just tease him enough, just so both of them could get the idea of proving themselves to you. 

You could just imagine them both taking turns, trying to prove to you which one would make you cum more, complementing each other, striping you out of your control, just for that one second, not knowing that you planned all of it.

It’s sick, a bit deranged, and stupid. But exactly what you need.

“Mhmm, only for you, baby.” 

Endearing words have him quick to push two fingers inside of you, still agonizingly slow, withdrawing a breath when he feels your slick walls. 

His fingers slowly go in and out of you, the suspenseful score from the movie almost mirrors your heartbeat, rising each time he gives you a grin, basking in your whines. 

“Look so pretty like this, sweetheart,” he praises, enjoying how your lips part slightly, pretty whines coming out of it. He circles your clit at a slow pace, still. Relishing in the way his name slips past your mouth so desperately, almost begging. 

He presses a light kiss to your clit, and you shudder at the impact, gazing down at him, “You like the way I look between your pretty thighs?” He hums into your walls. 

“Yes,” You coo, and he doesn’t hesitate to dive in, parting your cunt with his thumb before his tongue is teasingly lapping up at you. 

It’s all so filthy and intimate that you immediately squeeze your eyes shut, his fingers, his tongue, it’s all too much but at the same time not enough. 

You need him, you need more from him. It’s just not enough. 

“Makin’ prettiest noises for me, such a good girl, aren’t ya?” You hum excitedly, all fucked out as you grind yourself on his mouth, you don’t know what it is, but you can’t help yourself, fingertips latched onto his curls, head thrown back, you feel like screaming. 

And he’s torturously slow, giving you everything you need but not fully everything, withdrawing just a little to have you go crazy. And it’s fucking working, his tongue works wonders inside of your walls, his name falling like a prayer from your lips. 

Not fucking enough. And it’s frustrating, to feel so on edge. 

You shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t beg for more, but you can’t help it, it’s all hazy and you want more, it’s like you’ve been deprived, and he feels so fucking good. 

And maybe, you letting Eddie fuck you could drive Steve further, you could just imagine the scorched face on Steve’s look when he found out, and you want that mean side of him. You want him to compete for your attention, you want him to stripe you out of your control, for once in your fucking life.

You try to drag at his curls to feel his tongue more and more, flicking at your clit agonizingly slow but he slaps your hand away, warning you with his dark gaze. 

“I need more,” you pout, looking down at him all doe-eyed. 

“Need you to fuck me,” you whine with a hidden smirk, Eddie’s eyes flashing a hunger that has you all excited in your tummy.  

“Needy little slut,” he murmurs in your ear. “Steve wasn’t enough for you?” You love the newfound confidence in him, the sudden change in his tone, the darker his eyes get, the way he cooes has you dripping with need. 

You shake your head with a giggle, “Steve didn’t fuck me.” 

“What?” That brings an unintentional grin to his lips. You didn’t let Steve fuck you but you were going to let Eddie fuck you? Oh, he could just cum in his pants right then and there. 

You? Begging to be fucked by him? He was in heaven, and you were the prettiest angel. 

“No wonder, he can’t fucking shut up about you,” 

So your plan was working. 

“I don’t blame him, angel. I wouldn’t be able to quit you right after I tasted you either, so fucking perfect, hmm?” He gives you a dazzlingly addicting kiss, lips tasting like you and you hum into it. 

You try to pull him closer by his shirt, but he doesn’t let you, making you pout innocently at him. “I need you.” You don’t know how he has you like this, and you try to make your brain believe that this was your plan, but you wholeheartedly want this, you want him to fuck your brains out. You want him to make you cum until you physically can’t anymore. 

A possessive look sits on his face, gaze all dangerous and it has you wanting more, “You have me.” A wicked grin overturns on his lips, he’s quick to get rid of his clothes, almost ripping open your blouse. Fingertips brush over your skin with such passion that it almost burns.

He groans at the sight of your breasts, hands itching to grab them, mouth watering at the sight. “So.” A kiss on your breasts, “fucking”, a nibble, “perfect.” His hands grabbed everywhere, mind reveling in everything.

Still struggling to realize if this was all real or not. He was hooked, so fucking hooked. 

He couldn’t blame Steve for not shutting up about you, you were addicting. He was right, maybe the two of you could share. He wouldn’t be opposed to it at all, if there was one thing the three of you were good at, it was this. 

“That stays on.” He hums against your chest, fingers sliding over the tight little skirt you were wearing, flipping it over to your stomach but not taking it off.  

You were whining like a bitch in heat now, eagerly watching him take off his cock from his already wet boxers, patches of pre-cum had formed on it and you couldn’t help the delicious smirk on your face. 

With a painful groan, his cock slipped past his boxers, and your eyes widened at the sight. 

Salmon pink tip pearled with his pre-cum, looking so delicious that your mouth involuntarily opened at it, he was almost as big as Steve, only thicker, and slightly more curved to the left, perfect, just fucking perfect. 

You understood his cockiness when it came to this, he was absolutely packing and by the way he had been acting, you could tell he knew how to fucking use it. 

He leaned back slightly, still positioned between your thighs before he took his cock in his hand, with a dangerous gaze, he jerked at it, letting out a small groan with a sly smirk. 

You could feel your thighs dampening when he circled the angry tip over your clit. “That feels good, doesn’t it, angel?” Mocking, cruel, teasing. And you loved every fucking second of it. 

“Y-yeah,” You murmur, eyes squeezed shut, your thighs are almost shaking and he’s watching you with a smirk, it’s all too sensitive and everything he does gives you an electrifying pleasure that you haven’t felt before. 

Shutting up all the avoidant voices in your head that tell you you shouldn’t be doing this. Your thoughts and your body is consumed by pleasure as you hazily look down, his hand still on his cock while he drags it down through your folds. The tip of his pink slit parts you slightly, enjoying the way you’re gushing for him. 

“Jesus fucking Christ… look at this cunt… just soaked for me,” he growls and lines his throbbing cock at your entrance, a loud needy moan escapes your lips, making him gloat.

“Look at how greedy your pussy is, angel… practically pulling me in.” He teases, cock still dragging along your folds, and you are about to embarrassingly beg, before he finally drives his cock the rest of the way into your aching cunt, “Fuck, fuck, fuuuck!” He groans loudly, his moans deliciously lewd. And your whines are mixed with his. 

His hands are everywhere, rough, and grabby, almost like they are marking you. His hips thrust further into you fucking all of your worries away. 

“Look how well you’re takin’ me, doll.” He hums, eagerly watching the way his cock disappears in and out of your soppy walls, mouth hanging open as curses slip past it at each of his movements. 

“Eddie…” You whimper, you can’t focus, you can’t even fucking think. Your brain is short-circuiting by how good everything he feels, how he is hitting that one spot and is stretching you wider and wider, and you are doing everything you can to adjust to his size. 

“What d’ya need, baby?” He coos mockingly.

He’s so much more cocky now, and he has earned it because he’s that good and you’re awfully pathetic for him. 

You want to speak, but it’s almost as if you’re unable to, it’s frustrating, and Eddie is loving every second of it. 

“Awww, so cock drunk that you can’t even speak, princess?” Another harsh thrust has you whining and squirming. 

“You need more, baby? Need me deeper inside of this tight little cunt?” He hums, cock slamming inside of you so agonizingly slow that it has you moaning for more, you’re simply fucked out and he’s too far gone. 

“Need me to stretch it out with my big cock?” You nod so quickly that your head almost falls off, and Eddie’s chuckle reverberates loudly, echoing in the room with your whimpers. 

“Greedy little slut.” He picks up his pace, and you’re fully lost in desire now, clinging to him as each of his thrusts pushes you closer and closer, he’s filling you to the brim and it nearly has you sobbing beneath him. 

“You feel so good, sweetheart. Fuckin’ soaked for me and this tight cunt was just made for my cock, wasn’t it?” He growls against your neck, licking a path from your collarbone to the shell of your ear, grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

Your eyes are squeezed shut, head thrown back in full euphoria while he thrusts in and out of you, setting a hard, brutal pace. Teeth sucking into your shoulder to slow himself down, to stop the release he can feel building.

Incoherent babbles are all that leave your lips, you can feel that familiar knot forming in your stomach, “Y-yes, yes!” You whine, “I’m close, baby.” You lift your hips, trying to grind it against his cock to get more friction. 

It’s all filthy and desperate and it has Eddie’s eyes rolling to the back of his head. You’re so fucking perfect for him and you stick to his mind. 

This image of you, begging, his name falling from your swollen lips, all fucked out and spread for him. It’s doing the best fucking damage to his mind and he can’t get enough of you. 

“You gonna cum for me, honey? Wanna soak my cock?” His words are so lewd and it has you nodding like an idiot, you want him to cum with you, you need to feel him inside of you. Filling every fucking inch of you. 

He can feel your pussy clamping around him, it’s all glorious and he wants nothing more than to engrave this image of you to his brain. He wants Steve to know, how you were mewling for him. “Cum for me, angel.” He praises, slamming inside of you deeper than before, thrusts getting sloppier the more he sees how close you are. 

He wants nothing more than to last, but your whimpers, the way you take him in, your mouth hanging open, it’s all fucking too much, and he knows if you give him one more whine or one more filthy talk he’s going to explode. 

You writhe under him, so painfully good, but fucking impossible to hold yourself back once his thumb circles around your clit.

“W-want you to cum, too. Need to feel you i-inside.” You encourage him, and he groans at the idea of cumming together with you, balls drawing up and ready to fill your insides. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuck, baby,” He growls, slamming into you once, twice, thrice. “If you say shit like that I’m gonna—fuck, fuck, fuck, baby!” He can feel his cock filling you to the brim, hitting that sensitive spot one last fucking time and you know it’s over.

“Cum for me, pretty boy.” You cry out as you orgasm, pleasure shooting through your already hazy mind, and that’s all the encouragement Eddie needs before he chases his own release. 

He pounds into you one final time, deeper and harder, in a frenzy with how badly he needs to cum inside of you. With a few ‘fuck’s and ‘shit’s, and ‘so f-fucking perfect’s he growls your name as he fills you up. Not slipping out until he’s sure you’re filled full of him. 

He collapses next to you with a sigh of breath, a sloppy kiss on your shoulder as he’s trying to register what the fuck just happened. 

You don’t give him a minute to breathe when you quickly get up, collecting your blouse as you ignore the confused look on his face. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Getting ready?” You answer with a giggle. 

“What for?” 

“To leave, pretty boy.”

“B-but we just-” 

He sounded so adorable, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall into a mess of feelings, and yet without knowing, you were already walking right into it. 

“I’m going to this thing at The Hideout today.” You murmured while fixing your skirt and hair in the mirror. Skirt creased and hair all chaotic. You thought you looked a fucking mess, but Eddie would argue that's the prettiest you looked.

Ruined by him.

“There’s this band—”

“Corroded Coffin?” Eddie replied quickly. 

“How did you know?” You turned with a raised brow, intrigued. 

“You’re looking at their lead singer, sweetheart.” He replied smugly, a grin sitting on his plump lips. 

“Oh my god!” You said in a mock screeching voice, “Can I please get your autograph, Mr. Rockstar?” You batted your eyelashes with a twirl of your hair, giggling when he narrowed his gaze at you. 

“You’re lucky, you’re so pretty, huh?” You shouldn’t have felt your cheeks heat at the comment because he just fucked your brains out, but shit was he smooth. Making you blush with one fucking compliment. You were way too deep into this, weren’t you?

“So you listened to our stuff?” He asked, with a beaming smile on his face, too cocky. And it killed you to tell him you didn’t when he had the most adorable look on his face. 

“No, but, this might be a great first listening experience.” You hummed, “So make sure you don’t suck, Mr. Rockstar.” Your hand turned the doorknob when you threw him a wink. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I will rock your fuckin’ world," He returned the wink. “Again.” He said with a smug smile and a cool tone. 

You rolled your eyes playfully at him, “Oh, and make sure to invite Steve too.” You hummed nonchalantly as Eddie nodded, almost obediently.

He would do anything you asked him to. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have accepted to go, because it was never any good to fuck the same guy twice, especially with someone like Steve who just slept around, or someone like Eddie who wore his heart on his sleeve. It would either end with your heart broken or theirs. Things always got too messy.

But both of them were just so… good. And you had this opportunity to have both of them.

How were you supposed to hold yourself back? 

。°。°。°。°。°

“No fucking way.” Steve said exasperatedly, shaking his head and denying what Eddie told him for the hundredth time. 

Eddie groaned, growing frustrated, “Yes fucking way, dude, ask her!” 

“Ask her what, whether you fucked her or not?” Steve narrowed his gaze when he turned to him, words laced with bitterness, if Eddie didn't know him better he'd say Steve was jealous. 

And he was.

“Yeah, because I did, and she fucking loved it.” 

“Bullshit.” Steve spat, his face still wearing a shocked look that had Eddie grinning. 

His mind was almost spiraling, that insecurity he felt years ago almost returning and the image was quick to shatter. Why didn’t you want him? Why did you want Eddie? 

“C’mon, Stevie,” He elbowed Steve playfully, enjoying this. Steve gloated for days about you, for days. And now he had something bigger to tease him with.

Because you, who rejected every idiotic boy in this town, who even rejected 'King Steve' begged for Eddie. And he couldn't help but bask in that, especially to annoy Steve further. “Don’t be jealous, I thought you said we could share.” Eddie grinned like an idiot, brushing his shoulder against his teasingly.

And it was getting to Steve, the idea that you didn’t want him. Like you could see right through his King Steve bullshit. “Fuck you, man.” 

“So, what? You can have her, but I can’t?” He said with a little bitterness spilling out, eyeing Steve. 

“No, dude, just—” Steve sighed, “I can’t fucking get my mind off of her.” He mumbled, almost embarrassed.

“Neither can I!”

“So what the fuck are we supposed to do now?” Desperate, pathetic, and horny. Ironically, that’s how you were feeling too, without knowing that’s exactly what the boys were feeling too. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got that covered.” Steve looked at Eddie with a narrowed gaze.

“She’s coming to the show tonight,” Eddie hummed excitedly, “and she asked me to invite you too.”

Holy shit. That brought a saccharine smile on Steve’s face, it was stupid, to be so excited over something like this. But that meant you did want him. Stirring his stomach in the best and worst way possible, he wanted to shake it off, but he fucking couldn’t.

Jesus fucking Christ. What were you doing to him?

“Dude, do you realize what that means?” 

“What?” Eddie inquired. 

“Oh my sweet, sweet, Munson…” Steve tssked, “She wants both of us.”

“Oh, shit.” The realization was slow to hit Eddie, his mind still replaying what happened with you over and over again. “Wait you— uh, you’re okay with that?” Eddie asked, almost nervous. 

“Yeah, dude, why wouldn’t I be?” Steve shrugged carelessly, it wasn’t anything they hadn’t done before, but Eddie still felt nervous, because this time it did feel different, with both of you. 

“Besides we can’t keep our girl depraved now, can we?” 

[1800-needs-help]

Klaus, sobbing: It's so beautiful!!

Dave: What is? Why are you watching a Disney show?

Klaus, pointing at TJ and Cyrus holding hands: Look, it us!!

Dave, holding Klaus's hand and plopping down on the couch: It us.

[renegadeontherunn]

@city-of-fae​ LISS OKAY I STARTED ANSWERING YOUR ASK AND TUMBLR GLITCHED AND ATE IT I’M SO SORRY UGHHHH BUT ANYWAY

!!!!!! YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT THE ONLY ONE!!! OBI AND SOKA CONSUMES ME SOMETIMES AND THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YES!!!!! and thank you so much for the ask that tumblr was very mean to!!!!! let me go listen--

the song in question

OH MY GOD

ONE SECOND I'M JUST OVER HERE SOBBING GAHHHHHHH THIS SONG!!!! oh MAN this song in the context of obi-wan and ahsoka????? AND POST-ROTS????? GODDDDDD OKAY YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY LISS YOUR MIND--

awake, awake, you children bold / take hold of all your books and fold / the corners, they warned us / a storm is coming on

this is an AMAZING start to this song given the context of post-rots. it really gives me the feeling of yeah waking everyone up and frantically whispering get up, get up, grab your stuff we have to go which just gahhhh yes reminds me a lot of obi-wan and ahsoka having to leave behind everything in the wake of anakin's "storm coming on." and, of course, "children bold" is very ahsoka and obi-wan would tell her to take her books that's so :'))

what do you mean you've lost your scarlet welly boots? / do y'know what they cost? / wear a raincoat or it'll soak you to the bone

okay again, I can see this scene so clearly in my head, they're rushing around searching for all their stuff and ahsoka's like "obi-wan I can't find my boots" and it's all very much parent scolding child in a hurry/panic but then still turning around and saying "make sure you wear a raincoat, here take mine" and again that is very much obi-wan and ahsoka to me!!

and I love you, don't you know / that I'll be with you all along, as long as you are kind / to those who are not strong and cannot find their scarlet welly boots

I feel like this really captures an essential of obi-wan's teachings to ahsoka: be kind, help everyone you can, remember when you were in that situation, "teaching is a privilege, it's part of a Jedi's responsibility to help train the next generation," etc etc and also just the "I love you, don't you know / that I'll be with you all along" godddd thinking about that with obi and soka is mAKING ME SOB

cause when it's cold / I'll wrap my scarf around you / and when it's hard / I'll place your head into my hands

yes. yes yes yes yes this!!! this right here is obi-wan and ahsoka!!!! I'm sobbing

and when you scream that it's not fair / it's like I've gone off to the coast / left you behind just standing there / pretending not to see your ghost / if only you could hear my voice / but you are screaming far too loud to hear me swear / just because I left doesn't mean I'm not still there

goddddd okay yes, I think this can be seen through a few different contexts, definitely post-rots and also deception (oUCH OUCH OUCH) like you said, and also I think this works for post-s5. just all the times where obi-wan and ahsoka were separated and this is just. ouch ouch ouch. but yeah this part with deception??? such a good angle, ahsoka screaming it's not fair, but obi-wan saying I'm still here. ugh. pain

I get to watch you grow up now / and make me proud / make all of the mistakes that make me laugh / oh, darling, lord, how you make me laugh / . . . / cause you were always strong / when you were young, you'd kick things just to see if they would fall

I'm sobbing. liss, I'm sobbing. this! this is so obi-wan looking at ahsoka when she was a padawan. I think she really really brought a source of light and hope to both his and anakin's lives during the war and their characters are just so good together bc she's a lot like anakin ("you'd kick things just to see if they would fall"), but not nearly as weighed down as either of them (at least not until the end), and like. they are just :'))))) they! are! father! and! daughter!!!!

they said "that girl, she's wrong" / but I'll stick up for you / even though you haven't got a clue

the wrong jedi. that's all I'm gonna say. just. the wrong jedi

actually, that's not all I'm gonna say KJASJKDLADKLJS bc I have a lot of conflicting feelings and thoughts about obi-wan's involvement in the wrong jedi arc and since we got basically nothing in the actual show (because d*sney is a bunch of cowards) it all sort of has to be conjecture. but anyway, I think that obi-wan did stick up for ahsoka as much as he could and I really want to believe that he was right beside anakin defending her and like really trying to prove her innocence, but what we're shown in the show is. not that and I've seen a lot of really like solid and well-informed posts about how a big part of obi-wan's characterization is that he is someone who lets go and I can't find the one I'm thinking of rn but also like. idk it is shown how conflicted he is during that arc. plus, how much could they have even taken obi-wan's opinion into account bc it's nearly impossible for him to be unbiased?? like he's her grandmaster!! idk and that is NOT what this post is about ajskdkljdsa, but basically. yes. yes this is obi-wan in the wrong jedi.

and I'm so proud of you

screaming, crying, throwing up. GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

and when you scream "I'm not alright" / and throw my picture at the wall / "you were supposed to be my light / and keep me safe against them all / how could you leave me here?" you'll scream / . . . / you'll say "I've been so scared / you left me here behind / do you not care? / how the fuck am I supposed to carry on without you here?"

this! this is so so so much deception, post-s5, post-rots, all of this!!!! this is ahsoka confused and angry and hurt and betrayed and homesick and I'm going to SOB. I don't have much more to say about this line, just. yes. yes yes yes this

you'll miss me, oh jesus christ, you'll miss me / just as much as all those years ago, and you'll look up at the storm

okay yes this is definitely reminding me of post-rots ahsoka looking back on deception and post-rots obi-wan looking back on the wrong jedi both of them missing the other, both of them knowing what it feels like to lose each other and be separated and just having that happen again and again :(((

just when you're about to give up every hope you have, you turn around / perched by the stairs, someone's gone and left behind / a brand new pair of scarlet welly boots

this hits me SO HARD. it is so so indicative of obi-wan and ahsoka still being around post-rots even though they both think the other is gone (which is just. so heartbreaking I can't) but they both still have their memories of each other and what they've taught each other and I think that they really do live on in each other's lives after revenge of the sith and they both have the task of keeping anakin's memory alive and ensuring safety and happiness for other people and while their lives and missions are very different, they both are still trying to do the same thing and they still have that connection and I just. I sob.

I love them so much and this song is perfect for them thank you for introducing me to it!!!!!! I will never be over this song with them gOD

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [obviously it's actually ages later so she clearly isn't coming back but it's also enough time that we can pretend we're fine and joke about it and that she might not reply until even later cos christmas so we feel safe to just be like nbd lol] Jimmy: *g2g Jimmy: or piss off would've worked an' all Jimmy: far as a christmas classic goes Janis: yeah, they was up Janis: you know how it goes from there Janis: didn't reckon comparing notes was gonna be any more thrilling than living it, yeah? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby timestamped to show how early he actually was up like yep] Janis: Ouch Janis: how buzzing was he then Janis: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 scale Jimmy: off it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Where was his best mate on the scale? Janis: pretty solid and manic 😆 Janis: bit of a wobble when she had to eat her lunch and stop playing with all the shit she got Janis: but what's 😂 without some 😭 Jimmy: #same obvs Jimmy: might just be Ian's cooking making me 😭 though Janis: I'll let her know Janis: feel well reassured and #seen Janis: Sharon didn't show? Jimmy: I know, mate we're all 💔 by her empty chair Jimmy: my mum neither, funnily enough Jimmy: pisstaking lack of miracles about Janis: We did see Jesus and Santa out on it so Janis: lads aren't on top form Jimmy: if he hadn't drank the 🥛 she might've appeared, needing a bit for her ☕ Jimmy: SUCH a selfish dickhead Janis: spin the trope on it's head Janis: clever Janis: could've been picking up more 🚬 too Jimmy: she left them behind, as NYE resolutions go 🚭 is a bit cliche but Jimmy: you crack on, Debbie Janis: far as parting gifts go Janis: so so at best Jimmy: Dunno I were chuffed with it Janis: of course, birth of 😎 boy Jimmy: weren't like I could follow in her footsteps out the door Jimmy: piss poor #originstory that Jimmy: have to fake it Janis: #relatable Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: when ain't we on the same page? Janis: have to 🤞 they'd never put this shit to paper Janis: poorly written fanfic and a netflix original that tanks, fine Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Jimmy: ✔✔ Janis: nothing, obviously Jimmy: 🖋🩸 it is then Janis: can sell my soul no problem Janis: good luck cashing that one in boys Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: any organs going Jimmy: won't be doing receipts, goes without saying Janis: careful how you word that one Janis: get a bit #metoo Jimmy: open to a bit of castration, since you asked Janis: Christmas does remind you of why not to have kids, right Jimmy: if nowt else Jimmy: can't all be Libis 💔 Janis: if you wanna chat to her form an orderly queue behind your brother, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 2nd choice AGAIN Janis: who else put you 🥈? Jimmy: who HASN'T, babes 😭😭😭 Janis: oh, always the bridesmaid Janis: very you Jimmy: bit weird in this context, don't reckon we can marry off kids or spread about that I wanna wife up Libi so I were avoiding it but Janis: if the baby pink/lilac dress fits darling Jimmy: baby pink like my 😳 OBVS Jimmy: can't have a clash Janis: bad enough you're the oldest and fattest, christ Jimmy: way to drag me by my unflattering weave, hun Janis: Hate for you to make a show of yourself Janis: say these things for your own good 😘 Jimmy: tah Jimmy: I get waiting til your nan is more pissed but don't forget to secure my child bride for tomorrow 😘 Janis: They said yes already Janis: leaving out your intentions, obviously Janis: not that keen to get rid of her Jimmy: we're all chuffed she ain't gotta go in the boot Janis: radio and sweets should suffice in shutting her up Janis: for a bit, anyway Janis: no miracles occurring here either Jimmy: again #same Jimmy: so much in common, me and her Janis: sorry but no one is gonna ship this one Jimmy: PROPERLY starcrossed, what a dream Jimmy: off you fuck, tah Janis: rude Janis: and you won't be able to kidnap her without my help so at least keep me on side 'til then, moron Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: know where she lives and how to shut her up so Janis: yeah, but you don't know how to call off her KILLER dog Janis: checkmate, asswipe Jimmy: I'll have a google, be alright Janis: get your face ripped off, please Janis: get rid of the need for any of this Jimmy: SO romantic, you Jimmy: I'll miss you Jimmy: but bit rude if you ain't allowed to get married without a face Jimmy: bet the tories sorted that Janis: like fuck Janis: your outside'll just reflect the monster within Janis: easier to 🔎 even for the idiots about this way Janis: she'll get saved in no time and you'll get to be behind bars like you wanna ⛓💘 Jimmy: LITERALLY can't deal with these compliments rn tbh Jimmy: or that happy ending Janis: 💦 comes but once a year Jimmy: get your 🧠💭💕 off 🎅 it's OVER, Jodie Jimmy: he's already forgotten you Janis: he's literally all I've got Janis: fuck you Jimmy: delete your 📞 history and move on Jimmy: you've got the 🎁🎁 lads are good for nowt else Janis: I believe, thanks Janis: unlike you you bitter cow Jimmy: UGH, get a grip, babes Janis: 🤢 this is far too much like talking to actual Gracie Jimmy: won't insist on a 🏆 Jimmy: nowt challenging about doing a decent impression of any of 'em Janis: bit rude you've faked being impressed before now then Jimmy: for me, I'm a well better actor than you, girl Janis: if you reckon that then my job here is done Janis: all the 🏆🏆 for me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah, that kinda day Jimmy: you gonna turn this one around for me an' all? Janis: is that what you want? Jimmy: isn't that what you want? Janis: if you're saying I reckon I always can, like a saviour complex, then nah Janis: but if you're just asking if I still want to see you, then, yeah Jimmy: if either of us would have a complex like that, it's gotta be me as a white lad, come on Janis: alright Janis: I'll come Jimmy: alright Janis: I know today is shit Janis: we don't need to pretend otherwise Jimmy: didn't reckon we were Janis: yeah Jimmy: ? Janis: It is a stupid question Janis: but aside from the obvious, are you alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: Yeah, pretty much Janis: so what's wrong? Jimmy: how much of the obvious are we putting aside? Janis: that the kids would be a bit gutted about your mum and the food and craic from your dad would be a bit shit Janis: in a nutshell Janis: so go on Jimmy: I'll live Janis: you don't wanna tell me, do you Jimmy: nowt to tell, it's shit, you already said it Janis: okay Jimmy: if you can believe in 🎅 you can take my word for it Janis: I am Janis: okay means 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: we don't need to have an entire 👌👍 back and forth Janis: I'll 💬 when I'm close and you can keep being alright Jimmy: you started it, mate Jimmy: don't be a spoilsport Janis: go on then Janis: have your fun, it ain't mine Jimmy: 🗨  to me dickhead Janis: talk back to me Jimmy: I am Janis: not properly Janis: it's gone funny again Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Janis: I don't know Janis: just what you want Jimmy: I never said I were any good with words Janis: I'll survive Janis: let's just be Janis: like normal, business as usual Jimmy: I thought you were gonna write business casual, like there's an Ian approved dress code Jimmy: 🤏 gutted Janis: I have forgone the glitter and fur Janis: though I doubt he'd be as buzzing as shit nan, couldn't risk that faux pas again Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: he'd be chuffed to bits if you were wearing that, no funny business Janis: for the throwback of it all or Jimmy: you're right, loads of people have 👀 the 📷 Jimmy: you CAN'T Janis: if he slid into the gals DMs with the goss you could 🚨 Jimmy: ootd not outfit of the DAYS Jimmy: 👮🚔 Janis: oi, arrest him, not me Janis: you never said you were strictly fashion 👮 Jimmy: fine, if you don't wanna drive off into the sunset with me Jimmy: offering you a getaway car here Janis: the cars with me Jimmy: if Libi's not in the boot I ain't interested, soz Jimmy: you were told Janis: 🙄 Janis: you'll have to wait and see Janis: and be disappointed Jimmy: if you're wearing that pisstake of an outfit again, yeah Janis: I told you I ain't Janis: never again Janis: 🔥 Jimmy: did you? Janis: yeah Janis: [pictures of a jolly xmas fire with that melting all over the shop lmao] Jimmy: bit rude of you not to invite us Janis: I would if I could Janis: there's plenty more to burn Jimmy: 🎄 jumpers for a start Janis: exactly Janis: see if 💀#2 wants to put her diary on Jimmy: we could do it here 🤞 the whole house'd go up Jimmy: have to move then Janis: that would be win win Janis: death or a fresh start Jimmy: not enough drama for Bill but never is Jimmy: can't win with his 👻 Janis: he'd have you picking who to save Janis: always so EXTRA Janis: take a day off, Billy Jimmy: dead easy answer Janis: Sister can save herself, fuck the dog, so the kid? Jimmy: it's obvs you so the 🎭 can go ON and ON and ON 💔🎻😭 and owt else Janis: ugh Janis: my hero Jimmy: Bill makes the rules, babe Jimmy: @ him 👏👏🌹 Janis: lemme think of a sonnet first Janis: got to win him back 'round Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: don't offer to help then Janis: lazy Jimmy: why would I want you in his good books? Janis: what's good for me is good for you Jimmy: you can only have the one 👻 boyfriend at a time Jimmy: it ain't nowt but 👎 for me to get dumped for a more 🥇🎨🖋 🎭 Janis: I've only got the one Janis: ain't nothing but the writer Janis: and his ideas usually get ignored anyway Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: oh Bill Janis: you don't have to feel bad for him Janis: is trying to steal me Jimmy: can't blame him for having a go Janis: far as  🧛 fake girlfriends go Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 far as muses go Janis: I wasn't expecting half as many of the pub crawl pics to come out Janis: and that's not sounding surprised again Janis: just that the 🥴😵 wasn't too real Jimmy: you're that dickhead who looks #goals even with the 📸 on Janis: you make me look good Janis: #talent Janis: #skillz Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me Jimmy: you just look Janis: yeah well Janis: we're #goals by default 'cos you're not ugly yourself Janis: half of 'em probably think they're doing charity work or something 🦐🦑 Jimmy: tis the season Jimmy: 💀👑 must be 💔 she can't get back on it Janis: looks great on a CV Janis: but daddy hasn't thought about that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: kicking himself when he realises she's already too thick for Trinity Janis: God ONLY knows where she'll end up now Jimmy: 🤞 for the north OBVS Janis: 🤔 Janis: Leeds? Janis: I'll float the idea to her Jimmy: fit right in, her Jimmy: no need to ever leave Janis: SO happy for her and her new Northern life Jimmy: chuck you an oscar in a bit Janis: you got me another prezzie? Janis: you shouldn't have 🤗😘 Jimmy: can't help myself Janis: 🎅 energy Jimmy: just wanna be the 🎅 you deserve 💕 Janis: awh, don't make us cry Jimmy: 🚗 or 🏃? Janis: 🚗 Janis: why not Jimmy: alright 🚫😭 Janis: Considerate Janis: all you know I'm already ten sheets to the wind Jimmy: I'd know Janis: alright 👮 Jimmy: give yourself away ages before I got you to do any blowing, pisshead Janis: piss off would I Jimmy: weren't a challenge Janis: didn't say it was Janis: not bringing a bottle, obviously Janis: don't wanna make friends with him do I Jimmy: could've given it to me Janis: if it's a requirement I'll keep driving, dickhead Jimmy: if it were a requirement I'd have said before now Janis: then shh Janis: I might've got you something Jimmy: weird coincidence, that Janis: you did? Janis: almost like it's a holiday or something Jimmy: Dunno, sounds fake to me, that, mate Janis: what did you get me then Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😣 Janis: mean Jimmy: come here and open it Janis: if it's your dick in box I'm gonna be a 🤏 unimpressed Jimmy: 🎀 Janis: gift wrapping skills leaving nothing to be desired Janis: got it Jimmy: [a picture of this wrapped gift like how rude look how beautiful it is] Janis: don't be a tease again Janis: I'm already driving fast as I can Jimmy: only be a tease if didn't give it you Jimmy: actually for Libi, soz like Janis: she's had enough Janis: take it even if it's another cuddly toy Jimmy: I ain't giving you no clues Janis: not even if I 🥺 Jimmy: go on Janis: [does but obviously it's very pisstakey] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: is that a clue Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might just not fancy you 💀💀💀 from the lack of attention before you get here Janis: very possible Janis: so like me Jimmy: can't take the risk Janis: all the 💪🥇 heroics for you Jimmy: tah Jimmy: nowt to do with being a dickhead who needs you to do owt Janis: 'course not Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: but crack on through the 🌨 to bring me my Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: does this mean I'm an elf Jimmy: you're poor exploited rudolf and I'm your dead keen missus Jimmy: we've switched Janis: 😱 Jimmy: crack on and save me an' all Jimmy: would call this house a prison if I were a dramatic sort of reindeer lass Janis: I doubt you're being treated to such stunning musical numbers whilst you sit and rot though Janis: actually be right there, like Jimmy: you gonna sing for us? Janis: also how you know I'm not that drunk Janis: no karaoke now Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 Janis: 😏 Janis: we'll see Jimmy: [obvs does because always that bitch] Janis: [just assuming your xmas injury is not visible?] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say no so that the bubs won't know when we go to skerries because that's feelsier] Janis: [I vibe] Janis: okay, pretty convincing Jimmy: always sounding so 😱 you Janis: I might've forgotten what you looked like Jimmy: either that's bollocks or what you said a bit ago about my #goals face were Janis: you decide Jimmy: 👌 Janis: maybe I'm just saying it's been ages Jimmy: not denying that Janis: then take the compliment Jimmy: if we're telling each other what to do, shut up and drive Janis: 1. you always try and tell me what to do 2. what do you think I'm doing, you shut up Jimmy: 1. when do I? 2. pissing about Janis: literally constantly, no way I could narrow it down to a few examples Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: well bossy Janis: #bossbabe Jimmy: OI 👏 do 👏 you 👏 wanna 👏 buy 👏 the 👏 shite 👏 off 👏 my 👏 facebook 👏 OR 👏 WHAT? Janis: Honey, you're in a pyramid scheme Janis: and the lipsticks are shit 💁 Jimmy: 💰 on that being what pub crawl Sharon or Karen 💋 me with Jimmy: might've woken up with no face and your #ultimatekinkunlocked Janis: never gonna sell 'em so she may as well get some wear out of 'em Jimmy: #entreprenher Janis: 🤢 Janis: #dirtyoldcow Jimmy: 🐑 or nowt for this lad Jimmy: and she weren't even blonde! Janis: honestly, who does she think she is Janis: walking 'round like she's 👸🏼 Jimmy: *👰🏼 Jimmy: I'm a good catholic boy now 🚫💍🚫💋 Janis: 🤞 you've just made my nan drop down dead somewhere Jimmy: merry christmas, my dear Jimmy: 👍✔⚰ Janis: best present ever 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what did you get anyway Janis: fun was watching everyone struggle to get me anything without hint or direction Jimmy: mine were Ian not bothering to surprise us with 🐱🐭🐹🐰 or 🐢🐍🦎 to go with the 🐕 no dickhead asked for Janis: Such a read of poor Twix Janis: never again Jimmy: the one favour she's done us Janis: * I read 😇 Jimmy: he wants to bring her tomorrow Jimmy: 🤞🚫🐕 allowed Janis: plenty of places we can go that are only fake dog friendly Janis: but likewise, loads we can go where she can as well Jimmy: where do you want to? Janis: where do you wanna Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I don't care, s'not about me Jimmy: or me Janis: well we can't just let them decide or fuck knows what hell we'd end up in Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: have a 💭 Janis: you too Janis: or you'll blame me if it's crap Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: but alright Janis: 😒 is permanent I know Jimmy: while I've still got a face any road Janis: we'll see how far the chemical burn can drive your rating down Jimmy: it won't with you, nowt else matters obvs Janis: won't run my rating down, or won't change my # of you? Jimmy: hang on, your rating ain't the same as your #s?! 😱 Janis: oops, I meant scale of #1-#10 Jimmy: don't matter, we're 💕 face or no face Janis: if you wanted sympathy, a well good breakup where I look like a total bitch Janis: and you don't need to fake no terminal illness Jimmy: be a bit rude Janis: could work Janis: though the sympathy sex DMs might get out of control for the gals that can stomach it Jimmy: you're really not convincing me this is even a 🥉 plan Janis: I was just thinking of myself, ngl babes Janis: the only lads who would bother me would be the ones that like mean girls, so at least I could still piss on 💀👑's parade and steal all her victims Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is that a 🤝? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: if it were I'd have said it were Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: do it whilst you still can Janis: melty face Jimmy: ���🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: oh you Jimmy: highlight of my day, that Janis: I know that's saying fuck all so Jimmy: 🎻🎻'll say it for me Jimmy: should probably 😭 while I can an' all Jimmy: brb Janis: where you going? Janis: I'll be there soon Jimmy: not telling you where I 😭 Janis: 🙄🙄😑 right Janis: carry on Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes before you get here, nowt to worry about Jimmy: back to 😎🚬 business as usual Janis: thank god Janis: not the kind of 'pleased to see me' I'm after Jimmy: 🔧🔨🪓🔪 I know Janis: be well rude if you'd forgot Jimmy: haven't had chance to smack myself round the head with any of 'em yet, you're alright Jimmy: nowt but a dream Janis: don't worry Janis: about to be a reality Jimmy: 🤞😍🤞 Janis: something like that Janis: am I coming in or are you coming outside Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I dunno Janis: answer it and I'll see Jimmy: why would you wanna come in? Jimmy: the obvs answer to that one is you wouldn't Janis: Yeah, but mission piss off your dad is in full swing, hence I asked Janis: but alright Janis: obviously I'm not pulling up right outside your house in his car so come over park Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [chilling outside this car not at all looking like you're about to do a drug deal or something] Jimmy: [chuck this 🎁 at her immediately because we're excited and also it's a distraction from how forlorn he clearly is] Janis: [poke and prod and shake it like you can work out what it is] Jimmy: [a look like open it then] Janis: [a look like don't rush me but obviously does and I cannot overstate how actually #SHOOK we'd be like idk what you're gonna say gal] Jimmy: [jimothy just gonna assume you don't like it, thanks for the self doubt Ian] Janis: ['mine's a bit shit now' like it's just a lighter but also you got that engraved we see you] Jimmy: [gesture for that gift like I'll be the judge of that thank you] Jimmy: [we know he's buzzing and is gonna use it immediately] Janis: [handing it over like you're not that bothered but clearly are, lowkey just looking through as much of the book as we can rn] Jimmy: [please do gal because he was joking about 😭 a min ago but he'd actually be emosh af rn cos the greatest gift we have ever received honestly] Janis: [when you don't even have to explain that you had it done before he did it 'cos literally last night and it's Christmas, we're all a bit emosh and overwhelmed now lmao, slayed it too hard] Jimmy: [not putting the lighter away even after his lit both of your 🚬 -which would be a moment ™ rn in each other's grill while overwhelmed af- because we're just gonna keep tracing that engraving with our fingers lowkey forever] Janis: [the amount of times we keep going to say something, like, literally no one has ever got us a gift this good, or how much we like it, or literally any of it, but we cannot 'cos it's too much so just standing here dying and smoking] Jimmy: [hard same though, they are both very much in the same boat, but add loads of blinking for him so he don't sob nbd] Janis: [when nothing is safe rn, can't speak, can't make out, just like !!! so hard, do a feelsy lean like you okay 'cos can't verbalise so] Jimmy: [obvs gonna do a feelsy lean back which hopefully won't hurt you too much boy because idk how we're hurting you this time] Janis: [yeah just let me know when it would be obvious 'cos not oblivious but don't wanna act like she's psychic and just gonna know immediately lol] Jimmy: [can you remember what injury I did when ice bath because I remember that but not what was fucking him up at the time] Janis: [it was just general body shots/potential for a broken rib moment, I think?] Jimmy: [that sounds accurate because nhs direct were like 🚭 so of course I did] Janis: [it just makes sense for where you would hit someone if you weren't going for a face moment, so potential you might of flinched then, I guess, so we're ? and out of our feels like what was that] Jimmy: [yeah like we're hiding the fact it hurts every time we breathe in so we don't have to forfeit the 🚬 and shit on your gift giving but the feelsy lean is our undoing, literally could've just not done it boy but we know you had to] Janis: [like honestly well done for getting that far it's only 'cos it was so dramatically emotional, the lowkey speed we're putting together what Bobby said, the obvious fact you were driving Ian's stolen car, like okay, so at least we don't have to ask the question, just gently holding his face 'cos can't even hug him or anything 'can I see?' like lemme assess the damage] Jimmy: [at least you would have a bit of time left to downplay how bad it is by looking at her like I'm fine before the bruises expose you because hasn't been long enough for them to fully be !!!!] Janis: [a look like, so show me then, but not as cunty as that sounds lmao] Jimmy: [I look around at the weather like do you want me to freeze to death because I love that we're communicating in looks still lol] Janis: [turning around like oh look, a car] Jimmy: [go sit in it because the weather isn't just an excuse clearly if you're gonna get snowed in tomorrow] Janis: [turn that heating on gal 'bit rude you weren't gonna seduce me' but your tone making it obvs you don't reckon you're gonna succeed at lightening the mood rn but you're alright with not making him talk about it too] Jimmy: ['bit rude of you to reckon I weren't' and a look around like is this not the perfect place to seduce you in because we will downplay this situation until the day we die so it's all nbd and we're SO FINE] Janis: [likewise looks around and shrugs 'suppose it's no less romantic than the park' and then looks out at said park and just chills in the silence for a bit] Jimmy: [we're looking too cos the mems and then eventually we're like 'come here then' as if we're gonna just hook up in this car as standard, sir your injuries] Janis: [does not] Jimmy: [nudges her like excuse you but you know that's gonna make you flinch if the feelsy lean did so then we're just annoyed for letting that happen again] Janis: [sighs, 'never promised I was gonna kill you today' like simply not in this state, and then is looking around again for something, before taking off our hoodie and getting out to assemble this snow pack] Jimmy: [OTT fake sigh to hide how big our genuine sigh would have been as if she doesn't know and then we're just watching her do this like ? before it becomes obvious what she's doing 'got loads of frozen sprouts at ours' because who in his fam would wanna eat them but we're not stopping her because we're hiding this from Bobby at least even if Cass knows] Janis: [just giving this to him like put it where you need it most 'you could go lay in it but you nah'd that idea before we even started' again, gentle pisstaking rn] Jimmy: [does obvs so you're gonna see anyway gal 'no I never, you never said that were your plan' likewise with our gentle pisstaking as if this is a normal day] Janis: [gestures like be my guest 'not a requirement I've gotta be on top of you' but we're looking the best we can without dramatically examining him right now and we're not happy with what we seeing, obviously] Jimmy: ['weren't a requirement for me to get my tits out either but that's what you were after a bit ago' as if she was asking him to flash her instead of trying to investigate whether he's alright or not, I lol] Janis: [IRL 🙄 at you boy 'you gonna try and tell me you're not that sort of girl now'] Jimmy: [crosses himself in the most pisstakey manner cos he's still him, however much pain he's in] Janis: [lols 'great, fake waiting 'til fake marriage now'] Jimmy: [is like 🤫 but way hotter than that emoji is obviously and then kissing her as if it's their secret] Janis: [the casual restraint we must show so it doesn't end up going too heavy here, but still, you can kiss as his face isn't injured rn, points to the heavens like, he's always watching babe] Jimmy: [a look up to said heavens like we're so #into that idea of a pervy voyeuristic god] Janis: [😏 'all about the #fans, you'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like a nerd 'don't sound like me'] Janis: [noise like hmm okay hun, after a little more silence, 'where were the kids?' we mean when Ian beat him up but up to you if he follows this train of thought] Jimmy: [shaking his head again before he can stop himself but obvs this time seriously like they didn't see anything because he does know what she means and my vibe is that whenever this happened Cass would've kept Bobby busy when the arguing started but because jimothy isn't ready to get into this whole story even though she's already worked it out he's gonna pretend he doesn't know what she's going on about and that was simply a confused headshake 'what?'] Janis: ['where are the kids now, like?' like what they up to, how'd you sneak out vibes, not 'cos you wanna pretend that's what you said all along but you understood if nothing else that he heard you and he doesn't wanna talk about however he understood what you said so we changing the subject] Jimmy: [nods in the direction of his house literally over the road 'can probably see 'em pissing about with all the shit he's bought from here' because we know that's the only parenting Ian does honey] Janis: [nods because we understand this type of parenting too, even if that isn't actually all that ruster do but you know 'gonna take weeks to get rid of all the fucking wrapping paper at ours'] Jimmy: [flicks his lighter she got him on and off 'you'll have a right laugh doing that' because we know she loves the one we gave her too] Janis: ['another good idea' and going to switch out his snow pack 'is it helping a bit?'] Jimmy: ['full of 'em, me' because we can't even with people taking care of us because when does that ever happen but it is helping so we've gotta add 'but you do alright yourself an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like it's the literal least we can do 'cos we think other people would probably have something to say or whatever rn and we don't 'you had any painkillers yet?'] Jimmy: [mimes drinking but that's clearly a pisstake because you'd know if he was drunk rn and is about to say something but actually does 🥱 because hasn't had any sleep which would hurt so thank god for this snow actually working so it's bearable] Janis: [back at it with this snow pack like we're anticipating that, before rummaging round in this car looking for some pills, gonna say there's none, at least he lives more central than you gal, looking at him like hmm 'you should go lay in the back' like get comfy whilst I run to the shops 'shame Helena isn't actually a dealer, though'] Jimmy: ['bit weird if you drove all this way to watch me sleep, Joanne' but does go to get comfy because why not tbh but because he's him he's pulling her along with him like I only will if you come and lie with me 'or in the boot' imagine if she just popped up like hey LOL] Janis: ['what are you gonna do about it?' said like a usual challenge but it simply is not, speaking of the boot reaching over now she's also in the back for the obligatory random coats and picnic blankets etc so she can cover him up so he doesn't get cold whilst having to be covered in snow as well, just tucking him in and shaking our head like oh you 'so soz I didn't kidnap any bitch for you and tie her up back there'] Jimmy: [tries to start a playfight but we simply can't so we're grumpy and forlorn but we're pretending we're gutted about the lack of kidnap only and making it OTT and fake as per 'you'll have to do' and acting like we're gonna tie her up with something but snuggling into her because we are buzzing she's here in these shit times] Janis: [just snuggling for a while, trying to make him as comfortable as possible all things considered 'I've got to get some pain relief in you before you crash' and dramatically tearing yourself away like you won't be 10 minutes or so] Jimmy: [checking his imaginary watch like no no I don't have time to crash it's alright because you simply don't want her to go even though she's literally gonna be 10 minutes lol] Janis: [pouting unintentionally 'cos likewise don't really wanna leave him like you could take the car but don't wanna drive it all over this town unnecessarily like they run license plate checks often enough to not be silly with it 'I'll get drink too, if I can, if you want' like every little helps] Jimmy: [gotta just run his thumb over that pouty lip like that's not the most distracting thing ever because if we say something we'll just be like DON'T GO!! too dramatically to even pretend is fake so we can't even talk, so soz that he can't answer a question ever at the best of times but managing to get out 'if you want' as if she's the one who needs it oh jimothy] Janis: [testing you so hard right now soz gal, 'it'll keep us warm' because you have to be at least slightly suggestive back before running] Jimmy: speaking of kidnap, my sister's coming tomorrow an' all Jimmy: can chuck the 🐕 at her soon as it starts doing our heads in Janis: 👍 Janis: we won't have to do something completely 4-6 shit then and we can blame it on her on the sly Janis: sorted Jimmy: Dunno what or where they'll all be bothered about Janis: well I have been 🤔 like you said Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what's your 🥇💡? Janis: we can kick it cliche and go to the beach Janis: but not here Janis: nan and granda got a caravan in Skerries and Libi would love showing you and Bobby around no doubt Jimmy: *#goals Jimmy: if Libi's 😁 our kid will be Janis: awh Janis: thank god they don't go to our school Janis: too much competition Jimmy: he's been going on about her all day Jimmy: don't even need #s Janis: had to wrestle my phone off her 'cos she was trying to call him midway through lunch to see if he had to eat carrots too Jimmy: the answer's he don't have to eat owt he don't want, she'd have been 💔 Jimmy: just tells Ian he's allergic to whatever it is if he starts Jimmy: he'd be well good at fake dating, oscar's in the bag Janis: honestly, coming for your job at CG next Janis: when he can reach the counter Jimmy: he can have that, they've been on at me to work tomorrow Janis: seriously Janis: who needs overpriced caffeine that badly boxing day Jimmy: what dickhead needs it any day? Janis: true Janis: but especially now Jimmy: Pete needs the 💰💰 for new 🎸 strings or some bollocks, I've told him to crack on Jimmy: 😘 Janis: he'll remember you when he's made it big Jimmy: 🤞 he'll write a song about me Jimmy: you can sing it Janis: that's cruel and unusual punishment Janis: obviously want a song written about me, not to sing about you 💔 Jimmy: you'll have to earn yours an' all Jimmy: he's no slag Janis: it is easy though Jimmy: to write a song or inspire one? Janis: to inspire one Janis: even without shifts to swap Jimmy: inspire me then Jimmy: might 🖋 you one Janis: right now I'm a bit busy getting you drugs and alcohol Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: what are you gonna do let 💊 🥃 inspire me instead? Janis: Can you even write? Janis: I'll know if you cheat and let Bill's 👻 do it for you Jimmy: even the thickest northerner would know if Bill's 👻 had a go Jimmy: all his thees and thous Janis: that's how they talk in the countryside though Janis: I've been forced to read Wuthering Heights, tah Jimmy: bit rude you ain't written me a sonnet, living out there in the middle of nowt with all them fit 🐑 all about to act as a muse for you Janis: if it don't fit on a lighter, how am I gonna get you to see it? Jimmy: carve it into my 😎 Janis: a good idea 'til you're legally blind and I've got to train the dog more than sit and stay Jimmy: if anyone could though, mate Jimmy: obvs you Jimmy: train it to walk us into traffic and that's another job done Janis: nah Janis: shit way to die Janis: where's the fun in it for me? Jimmy: never said there were, it were you saying you were busy Janis: come on Janis: never too busy for you, darling Jimmy: walked into that like I were blind Janis: you are sleepy Janis: won't be too disappointed in you Jimmy: should've let you meet Ian, that's step mum talk if I've ever heard it Janis: financially ruining him with the divorce is just the tip of the iceberg of shit I'd be more than willing to do Janis: #fakedatethefakeboyfriendsrealdad? Janis: might be the logical next step Jimmy: if that's the tip, can't wait to hear what you're willing to do on the rest of that iceberg Janis: nothing if not dedicated to the cause Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: I did forget how many places would be shut though Janis: there'll be somewhere Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: come back Janis: no you need some Jimmy: I'll live Janis: how about at yours Jimmy: 💊 ✔ 🥃✔ Jimmy: not gonna get any 🏆 off Helena or her customers but Janis: yeah but, can you go in Janis: or am I Jimmy: I get it, you wanna crack on with your iceberg strategy Janis: 🛳 Jimmy: I better crack on an' all and paint you before I 🥶🌊 Janis: you better still be under those blankets Jimmy: [a picture like 👀 peeping out from those blankets] Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: come back Janis: okay Janis: but I am gonna make you feel better somehow Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: knew you couldn't resist me, Jules Janis: never said I could Janis: but you've got to resist me Jimmy: don't challenge me Jimmy: not like that Janis: Sorry Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: I know, baby Janis: so devastating Jimmy: worst christmas EVER Janis: 🥺 Janis: you would feel differently if you'd picked yourself up a 🐶 Jimmy: that'd be worst christmas ever and ever amen Janis: STOP PRAYING Janis: it's so weird Jimmy: make me Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: [show back up, lowkey grumpy you forgot it was Christmas day but we're happy to see him, checking he's comfortable and probably doing the snow pack again] Jimmy: [snuggle her because she must be cold and that's obvs the only reason okay] Janis: [get yourselves situated lads] Jimmy: [opening his mouth to say a million things like thanks, I missed you, I was only joking it's not the worst christmas ever but we don't know how to say any of them so we're just not] Janis: [putting your finger on his mouth like he said anything at all there 's'alright' like it so isn't for either of you rn but you're trying god bless Jimmy: [hitting her with some intense eye contact like I hope you can read my mind rn because all those things I wanna say are so important] Janis: [at least you can kiss] Jimmy: [you both very much need to, I couldn't be that evil] Janis: [or something is gonna come out here, I can't be held responsible lol] Jimmy: [literally same so shh for a bit please] Janis: [emotions are running hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh and not jus me character bleeding] Jimmy: [they are and that's why it's gonna be so fun that they get snowed in and so heartbreaking when she leaves] Janis: [oh the delicious drama] Jimmy: [speaking of leaving neither of you are gonna wanna go home even more than usual] Janis: [like you barely have to, just to make sure Cass and Bobby are ready and you've got to get Libi gal but yes, still] Jimmy: [damn you kiddos, we know they'd just go now if not for y'all] Janis: [when you can't leave your siblings, so sad, so rude] Jimmy: [literally didn't ask to be parents rn but we are out here becoming a family unit] Janis: [god bless, at least you're all gonna have a good time on this trip] Jimmy: [we'll make sure you do, lads, casual domestic bliss] Janis: [but seriously, is there anything else we dare to say or do rn before making you separate] Jimmy: [we should probably separate you but I don't want to lol] Janis: [at least you can message when you're separated so you'll have to say something and not just snugg] Jimmy: [give her your hoodie or jumper before she goes because she's sacrificed hers for you and you easily can sacrifice one of your layers because you only have to go across the road when you can bring yourself to] Janis: [cute selfie you don't need to take to prove you're still wearing it like 5 minutes later lol] Jimmy: [one back of him taking some painkillers, I imagine they're on his sticky out tongue in a sassy manner like we're calling her out for worrying about him when he's OBVS FINE but we're sending the pic actually so she won't worry because we care] Janis: take more than the recommended dose, tah Janis: but only double, no 💀 Jimmy: I get it, no self induced coma unless you're there to take advantage Janis: if Sandy ain't gonna Jimmy: how many oscars has she got? you should've have 'em off her Janis: has she got any? Janis: you're her biggest fan, you tell me Jimmy: it's you bringing her up Janis: sounds fake Jimmy: you'd know about that more than me Janis: Why would I? Jimmy: you're going for her oscars Janis: on my own Janis: I think not Jimmy: don't reckon they'll cut one in half for us Jimmy: and as long as I've got the #fans convinced I why would I need owt else? Janis: long-winded way of saying you'd be 🥈 Jimmy: what you thought I were done giving you 🎁s Janis: don't cheapen the actual gift, dickhead Janis: also if you aren't, gonna have to do the classic see-what's-lying-about-to-wrap so Jimmy: nowt cheap about 🥇 Janis: is if you reckon you're giving it me Janis: got to earn it or what's the point Jimmy: don't you reckon you have? Janis: don't you? Jimmy: what for? Janis: for our 💘story Janis: what else? Jimmy: not today I've not Janis: yeah you have Janis: anyway, no cunt works christmas Jimmy: you have 🚑 Janis: that's not 💘 Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: then you was fucked up, what am I meant to do? Janis: anyone would Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: that's what loads of people would do Janis: nah Janis: not a pussy Jimmy: 💔🧛 there weren't no 🩸 though Jimmy: next time 🤞 Janis: you might be pissing it Janis: but I'm not thrilled about that Janis: lack of a piss fetish aside Jimmy: I'll leave out the selfie one way or the other Janis: 💡 Janis: don't wanna get banned, babe Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: love a ban, me Janis: fine Janis: can you not just do an appropriately placed 🍆 sticker Jimmy: depends how massive the sticker'll go, babe Jimmy: no promises Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Jimmy: 🚫🩸🧠 Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: no need to tell the fans it's 'cause I'm pissing it out Janis: 🤫 Janis: though no need if you plan on going live next time you need a slash Jimmy: only if the 💊🥃 really inspire me Janis: 🙄 Janis: soz we're not going away on a bender Jimmy: have to rely on you for my 🎨 then Janis: nice of you not to demote me Jimmy: here Jimmy: [whatever today's doodle the final one of this advent is] Janis: it's the last one Jimmy: don't have to be Janis: you gonna keep doing it 'til 💀💔 Jimmy: why not? Janis: not very goals if you get wrist strain Jimmy: I'll spread it about it's not 🍆 related, don't worry Janis: tah Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you'll run out of ways to draw me before long Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: ✏🖌💪 Jimmy: Oi you forgot 🖋🖍 Janis: 🖋 is Bill's 🖍 is Bobby's Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you're being the hog Janis: learn to share Jimmy: gave him the last roast potato ages ago Jimmy: just the kind of brother I am 🏆 Janis: show off Jimmy: keep your jealousy in check, I'd have given it you if you'd been here Janis: had a plate load myself, don't you worry Jimmy: sleep easy now, tah Janis: that makes one of us Jimmy: I get it, you're 😁 for tomorrow Jimmy: you and our kid both Janis: more like Libi won't leave me alone now for the same reason Janis: she basically does acrobatics in her sleep so that'll be well fun Jimmy: 💔 we can't chuck the two of 'em in a room in a bit and leave 'em to it Jimmy: 'cause he'll be as bad Janis: you're gonna have to sleep on his floor Janis: hard surface will help in the long run Jimmy: dunno how I'm explaining that Jimmy: 🦷🔦🦷 brb just checking for monsters mate, don't 😱😭 or owt Janis: duh, say you wanna go camping Janis: then he'll inevitably wanna join you and you can have the bed to yourself when he crashes Jimmy: make up your mind, Janet Jimmy: hard surface you said Janis: just rather you didn't get booted Janis: either or on where you end up Jimmy: weren't in my #ultimategoals Janis: obviously, I ain't there Jimmy: what you trying to make me 😭😭😭 for? Janis: not my ultimate goal either Jimmy: that'd be turning the 🚗 round Janis: 'course Janis: what could be more cinematic Jimmy: nowt, which is why I said it Janis: shame you don't write the scene directions Jimmy: yeah Janis: he's such a cockblock Jimmy: SUCH a slag for the tension Janis: bit rude 'cos he had them married, fucked and dead in the space of like 3 days in the OG Jimmy: what's he trying to say about us? the dickhead Janis: maybe he's trying to be more #relatable to a modern audience? Janis: he's seen the ❤s and the views Jimmy: next go round he'll do it so they never meet IRL Janis: 😱 oh god Janis: I'd kms immediately Jimmy: there you go Jimmy: job done in even less than 3 days Janis: at least I get to 👀 at you Janis: an actual fake boyfriend that doesn't exist is well 🎻 Jimmy: the 🎨 would be SO shite Janis: probably 'cos I'd have to do it myself Jimmy: nah 'cause I wouldn't be in it Janis: 😂 Janis: bighead strikes again Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: you never did sing to me Janis: shh Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't just sing at you Jimmy: why? Janis: 1. it'd be weird 2. contrary to popular (your) belief, I don't think I'm well mint at everything Jimmy: 1. you're making it weird 2. you never will with that attitude, dickhead Janis: 😑 Jimmy: *3. please Janis: let a good song come on the radio first Jimmy: as excuses go 🏆 Jimmy: know how you feel about interrupting Mariah Janis: [voice recording of us singing along to whatever festive song is on rn like there] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Jimmy: but none for me 'cause I never thought through how much that'd make me miss you Janis: it's hardly a lullabye but Janis: you wanted it Jimmy: dunno what's more of a pisstake 1. you not reckoning you're good at owt 2. that there's actually nowt you aren't 3. how bad I still want you here Janis: I just know what I'm good at, properly Janis: most people can sing if someone teaches you how to breathe right Janis: but the last part is mutual Jimmy: you gonna give me the bulletpoints or what? Janis: of what I'm good at? Jimmy: can't teach me to breathe properly from there, might as well Janis: I don't think nows the time for breathing exercises, like Janis: and you've seen or you'll see what I'm good at Jimmy: don't want you to crash the 🚗 girl Jimmy: why I said the breathing bit can wait Janis: 😏 Janis: but Jimmy: but Janis: I miss you Jimmy: it wasn't long enough Jimmy: tomorrow'll be Jimmy: you'll be telling me to piss off by the end Janis: maybe Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: not that being a MASSIVE dickhead is, obvs Janis: obviously Janis: but you're literally competing with children so who am I gonna get sick of faster Jimmy: goes without saying won't be the 🐕 Janis: you brought her up Jimmy: missing me less already look Janis: dickhead Janis: you bringing her then? Jimmy: 🤞 Ian'll murder her if I don't Janis: that's a yeah Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you don't want her murdered Jimmy: the blame for it, but that'll be @iantaylor8 Jimmy: chuffed to bits for him to have it Janis: maybe she'll 'run away' tomorrow then Jimmy: went to live with mum, nowt to worry about kids 👍 Janis: an update on the farm classic Jimmy: 🗨 bollocks is what he's good at Janis: not going for the easy gag of saying it's where you got it from Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: should I bring Killer? Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: not really Janis: but she'd flip shit if you brought Twix Janis: don't wanna get them on the rocks already 💔 Jimmy: you're alright, I'll leave her here Janis: 👌 I'll tell her Jimmy: 👌 Janis: might have to call you up when she refuses to take my word for it Jimmy: if she has a go at me in sign she can say whatever she likes Jimmy: haven't taught her nowt that'll 💔 me Janis: we all know 💩head is pretty devastating Janis: don't need to put a brave face on Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: how many times, babe Janis: how dare I forget how special you are Jimmy: SO rude Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'll forgive you, just that kind of 🎅 Janis: the kind that misses out on an opportunity to have me make it up to you? Janis: psh Jimmy: the kind that knows you will Janis: purposely won't now Jimmy: alright, then I'll have to make you Janis: look forward to seeing you try Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: let's hope so Janis: I wanted to be nice to you but now I can't on principle Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: stop it Jimmy: when you start being nice to me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you better not lose the lighter Jimmy: 😱😱 AS IF Janis: or give it away to any fucker in the smoking area Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: that'll DEFINITELY happen Janis: 😠 Jimmy: it's not the last roast potato, you're alright Janis: 👌 Jimmy: it is Jimmy: whatever you give me is safe with me Janis: alright, we did fairytale of new york last night Jimmy: weren't likely to forget how 🥇 I did the accent Janis: you don't take Irish and it shows Jimmy: said nowt about chucking that lighter at your head Janis: well I've got a full play to hit you with so think on, Shane Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: rude Jimmy: I'm trying to tell you I like my 🎁 dickhead Janis: so do I Jimmy: good Janis: Libi said tell Bobby to remember Snow Janis: it was a bit threatening tbh but leave that out Jimmy: forget Snow, forget this friendship, mate 👋 Janis: what can I say Janis: she's got priorities Jimmy: takes after you, gonna chuck me if I chuck this lighter Janis: least no fucker else is gonna reckon she's my kid Jimmy: they'll hear me 🗨 and reckon they're all mine Janis: the reality is they'll probably think they're yours and your sisters Janis: soz 🤢 Jimmy: grim up north Janis: not gonna make your sister buzzing for the day out so 🤫 Jimmy: not gonna add her into this 🗨 Jimmy: she might not wanna now the 🐕's not Janis: @ all of 'em Janis: cheek Jimmy: 💔 Janis: least you wanna spend time with me Janis: have to do Jimmy: you gonna be nice to me then? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: are you gonna be nice to me or what Jimmy: dunno what you mean Jimmy: never not nice to you Janis: 🤔 Janis: not really an answer, that Jimmy: be nice to me, you can have the same back Jimmy: how's that? Janis: when am I not nice to you is the question Janis: but alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: see, no answer Janis: I'm too nice to you Jimmy: or I were being nice by 🔥 the receipts Janis: ha Janis: go for it, not like I'm delusional like the gals and think I'm SO lovely to EVERYONE Jimmy: should've introduced them to Ian Jimmy: that's his #vibe today Janis: long as he promises to murder them Janis: ideal Jimmy: won't be able to help himself, obvs Jimmy: they make up for not being bottle blonde by looking 45 Janis: I'll tell Grace to put the right wig on Jimmy: bit of patience 💀👑 and 💀#2's will have all fallen out Janis: less evidence clean up Janis: considerate of them Janis: really are #saints Jimmy: hang about for that tutorial, you'll be well in Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I wore something girly and I've got a man Janis: literally the requirements apparently Jimmy: soz, you're right Jimmy: I were thinking about the learning experience that is Tammy's tiktoks Janis: 😂 Janis: if you think I'm dancing for you as well Janis: another thing coming Jimmy: have to do everything myself round here Janis: you love it Jimmy: one of us has to be #goals Jimmy: if you won't, it's up to me Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Janis: you take the piss Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 🙄 Janis: not long ago you didn't like me walking, never mind 💃 Jimmy: and how mardy were you Jimmy: can't have it both ways, Jennifer Janis: you know why Jimmy: never said I didn't Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll carry you about tomorrow if you're missing it Janis: no you won't Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're gonna take it easy Jimmy: 🛏⛓'s meant to be my kink not yours Janis: s'called roleplaying Janis: try it Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: I promise you'll have a good time Jimmy: yeah? Janis: serious Jimmy: alright Jimmy: then I promise not to piss about Janis: okay Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: yeah Janis: are you Jimmy: now I've seen you Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: you and your lines Janis: make me 😳 Jimmy: Oi, I just said it weren't a line Janis: but Jimmy: you heard Janis: I wish I could've stayed Jimmy: do the counting for us Jimmy: til we can go Janis: I'm on it Janis: 🖕✌🤟 Jimmy: that were it Janis: well smart, like Janis: not to brag Jimmy: won't start you a # if you don't want Jimmy: I get it, loads of pressure Janis: what girl don't want a # for Christmas? Janis: #sospoilt Jimmy: [obvs does give her complimentary #s enjoy that the fans] Janis: [flirt on those socials 'cos we don't know what to really say atm] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be fake and extra because the feels are high rn] Janis: [you simply must lads, also hint about this trip like you've had it planned forever] Jimmy: [just wait for how romantic and #goals we can make it when we're snowed in lads, little do you know] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [thank god we have this flirting sesh because I've had to tone what I was gonna say down so many times lol like not yet boy] Janis: [a hard same] Janis: fake you is fun Jimmy: 🤏 of a twat, I get why you like him Janis: give him my number, yeah Jimmy: didn't sound like you were shy around him, reckon you can do that yourself Janis: reckon he'll be well about me making you do it though so Janis: tah Jimmy: massive twat were what I meant to call him Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you know how Bill's 👻 feels about a love triangle Janis: technically a love square but fuck fake me Janis: no one is here for her Jimmy: bit rude to the fans Janis: she's just a boring version of me Janis: deny it Jimmy: never said I was one of her fans Janis: 😱 Janis: *sends screenshot* Jimmy: *backtracks so hard I need more 💊s to sort me out but it's alright there's nowt more goals than a lad with no spine* Janis: we 👏 love 👏 a 👏 doormat 👏 Jimmy: works for mates an' all, dunno why I were acting like I were special there Janis: fake you is well special Janis: #facts Jimmy: 😇 him Janis: gotta be a reason the DMs are so full Jimmy: there's LOADS Jimmy: could go on and on Janis: 🤤 Janis: don't let me stop you Jimmy: he is, well humble that lad Janis: SO shy Janis: scaring him with my thirst Jimmy: bit awkward but can't help it you Janis: it's cool, I can pretend I'm shy too Janis: what's more goals than pretending you have a totally different personality to catch you a man Jimmy: duh Janis: you'd know all about that 😎🚬 Jimmy: I've had a girlfriend, yeah Janis: 💔 Janis: what she pretend to be then? Jimmy: a lass who weren't a total nightmare Janis: if you're gonna pretend to be anything Janis: fairplay Jimmy: did work for a bit, give her that Janis: not the first or last to fall for it Jimmy: obvs Janis: just saying Jimmy: weren't saying you should shut up Janis: well Janis: no need to chat about it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: wasn't what I mean anyway, for starters Jimmy: you meant I weren't 😎🚬 which for starters is bollocks Janis: okay 🤓 Jimmy: you Janis: Hardly Jimmy: more chance that you're a 🤓 than me Jimmy: and loads more receipts Janis: is there fuck Jimmy: deny it all you like, girl Jimmy: I can't even read Janis: ~express~ yourself in other ways don't you Janis: I don't Jimmy: bollocks do you not Janis: only when you force me to sing Jimmy: didn't take much 🥊 Janet Jimmy: barely twisted owt of yours Janis: 'cos you couldn't, soft boy Janis: be embarrassing to watch you try Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you'd be 😳 but we both know why Janis: not what we're talking about Jimmy: is it not? Janis: you know it's not Jimmy: sounds fake Janis: never said you weren't good at that Jimmy: I'm just saying you express yourself in as many different ways as me Janis: that's just Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤷🤐 Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Janis: that's just between you and me, is what I was going to say Jimmy: weren't gonna send a tweet, you're alright Janis: shut up Jimmy: that's just between me and everyone else Janis: something like that Jimmy: that's exactly what it's like Jimmy: I've got nowt to say to any of them Janis: Me either Janis: never have, really Jimmy: I like talking to you Jimmy: don't matter what about Janis: it's alright, ain't it Jimmy: that a question or what? Janis: we're mates? Janis: that's a question for you Jimmy: do you wanna be mates? Janis: we act like it Janis: don't we Jimmy: not what I asked but Janis: yeah but you always ask questions never answer so I'm allowed to as well Janis: don't you think we do? Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about, I answer questions Janis: 😂 Janis: you don't Jimmy: bollocks Janis: go on then Janis: answer my question Janis: without asking one Jimmy: hang on, which one, are we mates or do we act like it? Janis: can you manage 2? Janis: since you do it all the time, shouldn't be a struggle Jimmy: there's nowt I can't handle, dickhead Janis: ... Janis: I'm waiting Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: dunno why I wanna be mates with you Janis: Charming as that is Janis: still counts as an answer, so I'll take it Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: I dunno what's more charming than I don't like talking to anybody but you Jimmy: or why you'd reckon I'd say that but not wanna be mates Janis: well you're confusing and I'm thick too sometimes Jimmy: you alright now? Jimmy: 'cause having to play 20 questions would be taking the piss a bit Janis: you don't take the piss and we will be fine Jimmy: I'm not taking the piss Jimmy: I can ask a mate if they're alright, can't I? Janis: you're making me sound like I'm well high maintenance and hysterical Jimmy: how am I? Janis: acting like I asked you 1000s instead of 2 Janis: but I am fine, despite you being a bit of a dickhead Jimmy: just said playing the games would be a pisstake when you ain't even sleeping over, nowt else Janis: that mean no midnight snacks? 💔 Jimmy: 😱😱 no Janis: we've made such a mistake Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: quick, pop on a romcom Jimmy: rather you popped back in the 🚗 Janis: me too Janis: can't really head off in the dead of night or it will be obvious it's a kidnapping Jimmy: we'll go back for her in a bit, I'll live Janis: I could come back Janis: what about if your brother wakes up though Janis: you can't kip in the 🚗 Jimmy: *should Jimmy: I'll let you in Janis: yeah? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you gonna wait for everyone to be 😴 or what? Jimmy: I can't have your fit nan fuming at me Janis: for starters, ugh Janis: but I can just come back over Janis: though I probably should give them some ~quality family time~ before I do, keep them somewhat on side Jimmy: I don't care if you don't Jimmy: but if Libi wanted some bollocks from home that meant we needed to pick her up from there it'd be a top idea for you to stay here and a 🥇💡 for you to spread that about Janis: 😈 Janis: I knew I kept you around for a reason Jimmy: bit late to kidnap Star and chuck her back at your nans, she's too high profile now, every dickhead has seen her Janis: you are to blame for that bit Janis: but that's easy Janis: kids are idiots, or suggestible, if you wanna be nice about it Janis: I'll make her remember something she absolutely NEEDS Jimmy: you're not as thick as I look Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you aren't either but I won't spread that about Janis: reputation and everything Jimmy: gotta stay #relatable to the fans, babe Janis: #attainable some would say Jimmy: they can have the cancer I've got coming my way if they're that bothered Jimmy: not having you off me though Janis: I don't want nobody else Jimmy: none of them dickheads are good enough for you Janis: I don't care about that Janis: I just want you Jimmy: have me then Jimmy: I'm doing nowt but waiting here Janis: it's well inconvenient that I keep remembering you're hurt Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: don't worry, there's plenty we can do without injuring you further Janis: and I won't make any jokes about stamina Jimmy: don't YOU worry Jimmy: you heard, I'm alright Jimmy: nowt I can't handle, I said Janis: alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: ❌ Janis: just trying to help, not overreact though so yeah Janis: ✔ Jimmy: you did help Jimmy: tah for that, I should've 🗨 Janis: nah Janis: it's nothing Jimmy: not nowt to me Janis: whatever kind of dickhead you are Janis: no call for that Jimmy: it were my own fault, no denying that Janis: still Jimmy: you're a top mate on the first day of being one Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: the fact neither of us has got any others right now is really showing Janis: but fuck it Jimmy: I don't want any others Janis: me neither Janis: load of cunts Jimmy: up north, here and wherever else Ian tries to drag me next Janis: you wanna be penpals, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Jimmy: and 😭 obvs Jimmy: sweat's more your shout, being SUCH an athlete Janis: I'll send you some 🧦 Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: maybe I should charge, you're right Jimmy: got in there just in time for mates rates Janis: lucky you Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 is right Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: what so you don't want my 💌? Janis: you ain't gonna write to me Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't, Jasmine Jimmy: I'll send you daily 🎨 Janis: why are we talking about this? Jimmy: you asked Janis: oh so now you can't stop with your answers Jimmy: make up your mind, my dear Janis: shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: better Janis: if we're gonna talk about anything, let's talk about now Jimmy: alright Janis: well, more specifically, in a bit, when I'll be there Jimmy: go on then Janis: what? Jimmy: 🗨 something Jimmy: that'd be how a conversation works Janis: ugh Janis: just Janis: I wanna see you Jimmy: it feels like ages since you were here Janis: I know Janis: but I don't know why Janis: it always feels like that Jimmy: I think you answered it when you said you wanna see me Janis: yeah Janis: no lie Jimmy: I get it, you know Janis: yeah, you aren't that good an actor Janis: I can tell Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I mean, I asked for this when I picked you, but I didn't ask for this Janis: what's that supposed to mean? Jimmy: what I said Jimmy: it ain't always piss easy being in over my massive head, even if I manage to make it look it Janis: you ain't Janis: the plans going exactly to plan Janis: this is just Janis: fun, yeah Jimmy: dunno how pissed I were when I last said it but you are that, and do make owt less shit Janis: you too Janis: so let's keep doing it Jimmy: I weren't saying I don't wanna Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm coming over for a reason Jimmy: alright, don't take the piss Jimmy: I had a point somewhere, I just dunno what it were Janis: I ain't Janis: you're cute Jimmy: that sounds well pisstakey, girl Janis: but you are Janis: and I like you as a mate Janis: but no shit I wanna fuck you too Jimmy: gutted you don't wanna write to me, you're actually really good with words Janis: a pisstake Janis: but warranted Jimmy: I mean it, it were like you read my mind then and 🖋 it down Janis: as long as we're on the same 📑 I don't give a fuck how stupid it sounds Jimmy: about how cute I am? OBVS Janis: deal with it nerd Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: long as you keep it between us, call me what you like Janis: I wouldn't give me free rein like that Jimmy: as challenges go, I've accepted worse Janis: 😏 Janis: won't be calling you nothing though, gotta be well 🤫 ain't we Jimmy: whisper to me then Janis: I'll try Jimmy: you're alright, I won't make you promise Janis: I don't really wanna get kicked out Janis: and whispering leads too easily into Janis: more Jimmy: I'm not chucking you out and no other dickhead can Janis: be mildly amusing 'cos he don't know I'd just be going to sleep in his car but Jimmy: you'll be staying here, he's still being fake nice to me Janis: weird Jimmy: might be if I didn't know exactly why Janis: ? Janis: or is a stupid question Jimmy: he weren't visited by any 👻s if that's what you're asking Jimmy: have to keep his guilty conscience and pending sexual harassments rolling onto the new year Janis: Good to know that treatment is exclusively for bosses who don't pay enough or give Christmas eve off Janis: Soz to all the Sharons, you're gonna have to keep on grinning and bearing it, babe Janis: trust him to be the 'cries when he's finished' cliche Janis: cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: but Sharon can come for your oscar and man tomorrow when she's got him and the place all to herself so she'll be chuffed to bits if no other other dickhead is Janis: 😬 Janis: gutted to be doing him any kind of favour, obvs Jimmy: leaving the 🐕 will 💔 them Janis: nothing like dog shit to ruin the mood Jimmy: or piss or 😭 Janis: she will be devvo if she ain't invited to join in Jimmy: 🤞 she'll be gutted enough to piss off Janis: you're so rude Janis: piss off and find you, you blatantly mean Jimmy: if that were my type I wouldn't have been after rescuing at the pub Janis: are we talking about Sharon or the dog? Jimmy: either or Jimmy: both a bit easy going with their 👅 Janis: and neither cuts their own fringe so what's the point eh Jimmy: exactly Janis: 🤓🎨😍 Jimmy: won't catch either of them in overalls that's OBVS me out Janis: 😂 don't Jimmy: them lasses probably would have a go at 🚬 with a 🖍 Janis: your brother is already cooler than you, I'd keep it quiet Jimmy: you're right, they'd kidnap him Jimmy: which is only #goals when I go on about it Janis: that's dubious at best but sure Jimmy: 😏 Janis: if you ever offered to kidnap me, maybe Janis: the 💘 is 💀 Jimmy: you come too willingly, nowt I can do about that Janis: rude Janis: try making me not wanna Jimmy: you're already on your way here or will be in a bit Jimmy: picked the wrong day to play hard to get Janis: plenty of time to turn around Jimmy: don't mean I wanna give you loads of chances Janis: fair, calling me easy again was a bold enough choice to count for multiple goes Jimmy: only compliment you've ever taken to 💘 Janis: ha Jimmy: any time you'd rather I go on about what hard work you are Jimmy: just say Janis: you poor #lads just can't win, is that what you're saying? Jimmy: it'll do Janis: 😏 Janis: just know what to say and exactly when to say it, christ Janis: not hard Jimmy: 👍 Janis: real lads do have the shitty end of the deal, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't know Jimmy: only a fake lad Janis: right Janis: got the little shorts and hat and everything Janis: cute Jimmy: what? Janis: Pinocchio Janis: the look Jimmy: Dunno him or where he gets his ootds Janis: oh Janis: awkward this isn't a homage Jimmy: bit awkward for you that he ain't my mate 'cause his dad is just your type 👴💕 Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: we're all 💔 I don't have #lads to go to the pub with Janis: you ain't Janis: last time I brought it up you made that clear Jimmy: that'll by why I were in character 🤥 for you Jimmy: nowt if not supportive of your kinks, me Janis: 😱 Janis: can't believe you don't respect how important the #gurlgang is Jimmy: you can be 😱 after you've respected the 🤥📏 tah Janis: you and size Jimmy: doing you a MASSIVE favour is just the kind of lad I am Janis: wow, so thankful Jimmy: 🎁's just keep coming Jimmy: 💘'll never 💀💀💀 while I'm offering my face as a seat Janis: you might suffocate though Janis: 😳 Jimmy: top of my list for how I wanna 💀💀💀 now Jimmy: gutted I never thought of it sooner Janis: easily done Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't ✔ like that's not a mental image that could make me crash, dickhead Jimmy: it were you who were going on about turning the car round and that like that weren't gonna make me say owt I could so you wouldn't Janis: as if I was going to Jimmy: now you won't Janis: I wasn't going to Janis: but any chance to 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: any chance to let you Janis: nothing more 💘 than that Jimmy: is that a challenge or what? Janis: you want it to be? Jimmy: do you want it to be? Janis: in what world am I going to say no? Jimmy: dunno, might be a world where you don't want your big head setting off the airbag Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: [🔥🔥 sext obvs like any chance to also kill you] Janis: I Jimmy: you Janis: no, you Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: it feels like yours Jimmy: not to me Janis: I'm alright taking the blame for how you feel Jimmy: you can handle that an' all, yeah? Janis: you don't think I can? Jimmy: never said that Janis: Good Janis: because I can and I want to Jimmy: take it then Janis: [show up gal] Janis: I'm here Jimmy: [let her in and do that trope where you just kiss her immediately and against the door when you've closed it and while you're taking off her coat] Janis: [such a romcom forever] Jimmy: [can't and won't ever resist] Janis: [we're here for it shameless rn] Jimmy: [the question is are we saying that everyone is still up and about rn or are they asleep?] Janis: [hmm 'cos either is viable depends what vibe we want to achieve here] Jimmy: [yeah and there are pros and cons to either] Janis: [it'd be rude but potentially plot-driving/fun to have her first interaction with Ian because she hasn't yet] Jimmy: [bonus points if he's like asleep on the sofa or something because what a christmas mood and they wake him up either deliberately or accidentally] Janis: [what a dad, too full and drunk] Jimmy: [literally too perfect of a cliche not to take advantage of] Janis: [you're probably not gonna want to on purpose rn because we're in a #mood but Cass should blatantly still be up even if Bobby ain't and be like DAD JIMMYS GF IS HERE 'cos lord knows she's bored rn] Jimmy: [JJ just trying to have their makeout sesh, but I'll forgive you Cass we know you're upset because your mum isn't here and you know Jimothy and Ian have brawled because even if you didn't hear or witness it that's the only time Ian is ever nice to him so] Janis: [and you're 12 so 'nuff said on all counts] Jimmy: [mhmm, soz you gotta deal with Ian's fake niceness though Janis because that's not a mood] Janis: [ew, at least shit nan is honest is nothing else, lmao, just trying to take Jimmy's lead of the vibe he wants like are we being rude or fake nice back or what 'cos nothing in it for you beyond helping him out so] Jimmy: [would not have the strength to be fake nice to you if Bobby is not around rn because only doing it ever for his sake so have fun trying to keep it up Ian when we're just getting the bae a drink from your stash and doing our best to leave you unacknowledged like we're the deaf one] Janis: [at least we can be our usual charming selves then] Jimmy: [like we can't be rude enough he'll say you can't take the kids with you tomorrow hence we're just not saying anything because temptation to just tell him to fuck off always] Janis: [just some sly shade, easily done, also I hope you didn't come looking like a hoe 'cos assumptions that are lowkey a bit racial already being made without doing that] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't gonna like you no matter what gal, we'll get out of there as soon as we can honestly] Janis: [how dare you, but no, we would not want you to like us, we know your game hun] Jimmy: [it'll be fun af when we lowkey move you in and it's just 24/7 piss off Ian time] Jimmy: [but for now take the bottle and run lads] Janis: [soz that didn't work Cass but you know] Jimmy: [Jimothy needs this rn, soz you don't have your bf yet but you'll understand when you do] Janis: [you'll get your whole squad soon] Jimmy: [we'll all be living our best lives but for now we're just trying to survive the festive season so] Jimmy: [it makes me happy to know that Janis' arrival will have wound Twix up so you won't be able to just go back to sleep Ian] Janis: [go take that poor dog for a piss sir] Jimmy: [because we are not doing it, we're going upstairs good day] Janis: [buh-bye] Jimmy: [boy just downing however much drink was in his glass as he goes cos fml and also we've spent an age pretending we're not physically hurting which is not a mood either] Janis: [actually needed, so you can't say nothing Ian] Jimmy: [hopefully you left all your presents downstairs cos your room isn't very big and we don't need them everywhere] Janis: [and Bobby is in his bed, we gotta lay that boy down like get comfy] Jimmy: [the biggest sigh in the world, imagine] Janis: [copying him but laying down next to him carefully so we don't squash him] Jimmy: [going to write on her but we don't know what to say so we're just 👀] Janis: [doing an impression of nice Ian to try and make him lol Jimmy: [you know it's spot on but that just reminds him what a dick Ian is so we just shake our head like ffs but obvs not at you gal] Janis: [yeah, mistake to make hen but we don't know what to do, little horizontal feelsy lean like !!!] Jimmy: [we're doing it back even if it hurts because we don't care, the feelsy lean is sacred] Janis: ['he's such a twat' the reassurance he doesn't need but we're saying it so seriously] Jimmy: [can't help genuinely smiling because you know Ian is the kind of person who everyone thinks is just such a standard dad and we obvs didn't think the bae would fall for it but there's always gonna be a part of us thinking he's right and we're wrong so the relief] Janis: [we all know the kind, just parenting you, psh, but we smiling back 'cos love to see it] Jimmy: [😍 because she's cute and we're in love] Janis: [gotta kiss him soft] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be soft because we know you both like it] Janis: [a good excuse because we are not trying to injure you boy forreal, but the restraint is a killer lmao] Jimmy: [the perfect excuse for you to show her how good you are with your hands even if you don't remember/are pretending you don't remember that bit of the drunken christmas eve convo because you can keep your distance a lil bit more but still kill her] Janis: [enjoy trying not to die gal, 'cos whilst making Ian overhear you is funny, waking the kid is not so shh] Jimmy: [at least he's deaf so you've got less chance than if you were at mcvickers house and Libi was just like oh hey, speaking of the caravan when you're snowed in is gonna be hilarious casually no privacy ever] Janis: [that's true, how do you wake up a deaf person except for rudely shaking them like HELLO also how do they know when there's a fire/any other kind of alarm, questions I have but are not entirely relevant rn, won't make Cass hate us that much already lmao, 'cos honestly, need an ally in you when Skerries alone] Jimmy: [I've seen vibrating ones that they can like put under their pillow and shit which is slightly less rude than just being like OI but yeah, we can win Cass over during this unexpectedly longer trip than we thought we'd be on] Jimmy: [but for now have a drink and recover gal] Janis: [a good idea, ang would like that] Janis: [lowkey pouty like you can't immediately return the favour but you simply cannot soz] Jimmy: [doing the pouty lip bite thing won't help but we simply must nevertheless] Janis: ['that's illegal'] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we're pretending doesn't hurt because we're fine] Janis: [obviously we notice 'cos in what world aren't we 'should really bandage you up' and looking like do you have any in or do we need to get that tomorrow] Jimmy: [🤨 because it's such a foreign concept that anyone actually cares about us that we can't hide our genuine surprise/confusion and then we have to go look because we're like this is awkward how dare she care about me, let's say there is so you can chuck them at her] Janis: ['that's what you need to do' like he's just thinking it's bullshit advice, unravel some of that bandage after it's thrown at you 'it'll heal faster' and gesturing for him to take his top off 'can be a mummy for a bit, ghost boy'] Jimmy: [obvs gonna throw his top at her as well because always] Janis: [pretending it's so gross like ew] Jimmy: [equally as obvs then getting all up in her grill like if you thought that was gross you'll HATE this] Janis: [the pretence of being #horrified is so thinly veiled, but focus gal, gotta bandage him up as tightly as you can so it's more comfortable for him, the casual intimacy, bye, pretend we do not notice] Jimmy: [what a mcvickers-esque moment] Janis: [truly] Jimmy: [do a ✔ on her in the same place as the bandage is like okay job done and because you do feel better for it and most importantly just shamelessly wanna touch her bare skin whenever we can] Janis: [dramatically stop breathing for a sec 'yeah?'] Jimmy: [kiss her as dramatically to show her you can without it hurting as much as it did before] Janis: [can't even fake mad about it] Jimmy: [interrupt this makeout sesh for long enough to casually pour some of whatever this bottle is into her mouth because it's always a saucy mood and she has earned it by nursing you back to health] Janis: [too much of a mood frankly we're so about it, also nice throwback to literally last night what is time] Jimmy: [gonna have to let y'all hook up because this boy has no chill but just be really careful please] Janis: [just let him lead and you should be fine] Jimmy: [gotta be soft so that's a whole new mood in itself because you have not yet] Janis: [feeding him drink in the same manner after but that likewise feels really soft 'cos basically doing it like it's medicine at this point like you gotta, then removing whatever clothes you got left on to get in bed] Jimmy: [shameless snuggling will ensue because we will play tetris if needs be until we find a position that's comfortable for you both to be in] Janis: [drawing the ✔ on him when we're settled but also a ❓] Jimmy: [taking her hand and turning it into a 👍 and then giving it a lil thank you squeeze before adding his own ? to ask if she's alright too] Janis: [snuggling down as a response] Jimmy: [a happy sigh compared to the dramatic one earlier] Janis: ['Jimmy-' but stopping 'cos don't know what you think you're gonna say hen] Jimmy: [the softest 'what?' ever] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING for a hot sec 'merry christmas'] Jimmy: [obvs we're saying it back even though we know that's not what she was gonna say] Janis: [you better stop] Jimmy: [will draw 😁 on you is it a pisstake/ are we this buzzing that the bae is here and tomorrow we can leave/do we wanna just touch her always/is it all of these] Janis: [gonna say we got lost on that one so we're just like what are you talking about boy/tickled like oi] Jimmy: [doing it again more slowly and deliberately so it'll tickle more and she might get it so we don't have to do it with our face if she doesn't lol] Janis: [just loling like staph 'I'm either gonna fall out or fuck you up here' but not mad, obvs] Jimmy: [hold onto her so she can't fall out and that's ofc the only reason] Janis: [random but have we ever said whether the caravan is 2 or 3 bedrooms?] Jimmy: [I don't think we've ever specified but I assume it's on the bigger side because mcvickers own it and all the fam ever] Janis: [let's go with 3 then, a double and 2 singles, makes sense, usually have a way to make beds in the lounge too] Jimmy: [I'll try and remember that for all the other people and gens it affects lol] Janis: [write that down boo lol]

[jimlingss]

FuCkInG jIMLINGSSSS!!!! YOU DID THAT!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH AYSKTSKGSNFZNGZNFSKTD I'M CURRENTLY ON THE SUBWAY SO I CAN'T OUTWARDLY FREAK OUT AS MUCH AS I WANT TO ABOUT THIS I AM D Y I N G OHMYGOD AS SOON AS I READ THIS I'M GONNA BE ON👏THE👏FLOOR👏 JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! I'M BOUTTA REREAD THE 1ST 2 CHAPTERS SO I COULD APPRECIATE THIS IN ALL OF IT'S GLORY AHHH NO WARNING EITHER!!!! (which was probably the best way because i am s h o c k e d, i 10000% was not expecting that rn aldjfjsk i love surprises!!)

[Potential Spoilers Below]

You are literally so sweet! I really don’t know what I would do without you and your messages :’) Your encouragement is my gasoline, I swear.

myjeansareonfire said:JIMLINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I WANNA CRY WHY AM I SUCH AN EMOTIONAL BEAN?!?!?!?!?!?!? ESPECIALLY SEEING THAT PICTURE OF THEM AT THE END BEFORE THE EPILOGUE AKDJDHEKSKDBSNAJ I'M D E A D AHHH JIMINGS!!! 😭😭😭😭 Damn, what can i even say? You've rendered me speechless, speechless!!!!!!!!! This.. Has probably got to be my.. Third or fourth favorite thing you've ever written. Definitely in the top 5! Yes you have other writing that's more eloquent & beautiful & well thought out & descriptive but (1/11)

oh wow. one of your top favourites? You know, I would try to be surprised but I’m not cause it was also one of the funnest things I’ve ever written haha. I was laughing and hollering while writing and that never happens. It also wasn’t a struggle to edit and I wrote it in record time. Honestly, who knew the fic would work out considering I did 0 planning and pulled all of it out of my ass. rofl.

ahhh the character's relationships!! Just, the comedy!! The tension!! The originality of the personality created for each member! The heart warming parts! How despite the fact that it is labeled a crack fic, yoongi's always keeping it real!! 😭😭 ahh i literally can't imagine how he went through all he went through & endured all that he endured, he really really /really/ had to be in love with y/n, & that had to have been from the beginning! There's so much he'd put up w/even before y/n (2/11)

knew he was a boy like ahh & HOW IS Y/N SO DENSE?? LIKE??? I JUST WANTED TO SHAKE HER & YELL IN HER FACE AND BE LIKE Y O O N G I F U C K I N G L I K E S Y O U THIS BOY IS IN L O V E WITH YOU!!! Every time jimin came into the picture and she was like HERE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE i was like uhmm?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Really, girl?? It's gon be like that?? Gah! So frustrating T_T she's testosterone has been... Such a great fic. Definitely worth the wait!!! I would've waited even longer for this! :D (3/11)

you could've dropped this in 2019 & i still would've been like yES OH BOY HERE WE GOOOOO asdfghjkl. She's testosterone... Is like a Perfect™ fic. It's so funny it makes you wanna piss yourself. The second hand embarrassment is so bad you have to hide your face because you're turning beat red too! (Is that you you spell beat?! Beet???) The fluff parts are so /good/ whenever they happen you're just like yES!!! It's like, you know when you're reading something, and there's these 2 characters (4/11)

Frankly, She’s Testosterone is the best comedy I’ve ever been able to do haha my sense of humour can’t get any better than that in writing. I also realllllly despise reading dense characters cause I want to scream like you ‘ARE YOU BLIND?!’ but it was actually really amusing being on the writing side of it. I’ve never written a dense character before - (hint, hint) in one of my future fics they’ll be another slightly dense OC but that’s to come :3

also I think it’s beet red? hahaha omg I’m always afraid that my fluff is cringey but whelp it’s good for the ‘crackness’ of the fic.

you really like and something is like about to Happen™ and you're like DEAR LORD IT'D BE SO FREAKEN GREAT IF [BLANK] HAPPENS and then BAM!!!! you make it happen!!! It's like you've read the reader's mind and then as you were reading their mind you wrote it! Lmao! You gave us everything we could've wanted 😭😭😭 this fic is like everyone's guilty pleasure there's no holding back, you've indulged us with all our wildest dreams ;-; (5/11)

This fic is everything i ever could've asked for& everything i didn't even think about asking for😭& listen idk if this is a latino thing but i love that approval from the parents!! It really warms my heart!! Gah! &the way yoongi was so ready in his nice white button down & nice pants & waxed hair!! That boy was dressed to impress! & i LOVED HOW Y/N'S PARENTS WERE JUST LIKE HER AKDJSHS YOU COULD SEE EXACTLY WHERE HER PERSONALITY CAME FROM😭😭i'm not gonna lie her dad made me rlly emotional(6/11)

like wow what a nice dad ;~; anD HOSEOK'S CHARACTER I LITERALLY LOVED HIM SO MUCH he was so funny!!!!!!! I could feel his passion! Everytime those tears started falling i was like yes👏ho👏seok👏 let it all out boy! 😭👏🙏🙌 i love passionate people! 😂 even if they're ridiculously passionate ajdhsk passion is good! & jin's character! Loved how he was like this untouchable conceited person but after finding y/n crying we pretty much saw he's as much of a weirdo as everyone else 😂(7/11) 

jimin was too much for me tbh i was like boy wHERE IS YOUR DOWNFALL?! (tho that ending was hella cute he really is too pure for this world) and namJOOOOOOOOOOON my boy!! I love namjoon so much ajdkdjg and his character in this story had me on the flooooor he was like the exact opposite of how people usually write him! And i loved it!!! Okay moving on to jungkook that boooooyyy every time he spoke i just glared at him in my head and face palmed he was so sHy such a smol shy bean stop acting(8/11)

Your message is making my heart so warm. If you also notice through my writing, most of the parents (aside from The Wicked Witch) are really nice, approving parents. I do that because of 2 reasons. #1 - ‘The parents trying to rip the kids apart’ trope really pisses me off hahahaha I get so upset and angry as the reader/audience so I never write it. #2 - My own parents would never be so accepting so at least the parents of my characters can be nicer ahaha.

The image of Yoongi dressing up for her parents that you described is exactly like that. I also intentionally tried to make her parents similar to her, give the family the ‘silly village idiot’ vibe haha. Also, writing Jin’s character was one of the biggest things I struggled with since I didn’t know what to basis it off of and I had to go back to watch the vapp episode, I managed in the end though and I’m glad you liked him :3

Oh Jimin....I have no words for him as the writer lol. AND YES NAMJOON! He is my favourite character in the fic by far. Everyone writes him as smart or philosophical, sometimes a sly ‘daddy’ playboy/fratboy but I never knew it would be so hilarious to write him as a complete idiot. Honestly, I might write a fic like that later in the future hahahahahhaha.

like you don't care everyone can see through your act! & OKAY THIS IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT(well kind of)but i'm not a big shipper between the members, & consequently i don't read a lot of mxm fics but my friend is like OBSESSED with taekook & recently she's been sending me a lot of domestic taekook fics & i read them & love them all cuz they're just so cute!! 😭😭 domestic things in general really pull at my heart strings ;-; so THAT BIT OF IMPLIED TAEKOOK FEELS AT THE END really hit me!! 😭(9/11)

right in my corazon ;-; also, i /totally/ wholeheartedly shipped tae and y/n for like a solid five minutes and i was like LET THEM END UP TOGETHER OR LET /SOMETHING/ HAPPEN but then yoongi swooped back in and i was fully loyal to my y/n x yoongi feels. IDK IF YOU CAN TELL but i really freaking loved and enjoyed this fic, and i know it's gonna be one of those fics that i go back and reread over and over again. This fic had me cringing, laughing, (10/11)

Ah, personally I’m okay with shipping (pretty neutral towards it) but yeah, I don’t read too many mxm fics either. There’s a reason I threw it in. BECAUSE I WAS EXACTLY LIKE YOU! I was writing Tae and the OC and it was supposed to be a way where Yoongi would get lowkey jealous but as I was writing, I thought....wow the OC and Tae are kind of cute together....they should like end up together and then I was like NOOOOO THAT’S NOT PART OF THE PLAN! It broke my heart to make Tae end up by himself so I was thinking about the other characters and I thought Jungkook was the perfect fit, despite their characters being very odd with each other haha.

slapping knees, burying my face into pillows screaming, squealing, & had me making my family thoroughly question my sanity! I want to say that i'm sad that it's over, but i don't think i am! At least not right now 😂 i'm on a reading high, & that was great! Later i'll probably be wishing i could indulge in their adventures forevermore, but for now, i am very, very happy & content with this perfect piece of writing :') bless you, jimlings! & Thank you so so much for sharing this with us!❤(11/11)

Thank you so much. Your message has made my heart warm. I hope whatever you’re celebrating this holiday season, you’ll have a good time.

Are you... Are you serious?!?! 18??? Same day.... Same year!! We're exactly the same age aksjfhskdlsb i'm dead

:O I guess we’re same aged friends!! COOOL!

[punkscowardschampions]

Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶😶 Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: how much you got on you rn Ronnie: enough for me Ronnie: you aint piggybacking Joe: enough for me then Joe: not suggesting you send it first class Joe: 'less you know how to do that Ronnie: I do but in what world mckenna Joe: however much you reckon you'd need to do it Joe: i'll double it Ronnie: use that ingenuity for your own score Joe: yeah whatever Joe: all chat Ronnie: like ive got anything to prove to you Ronnie: least of all how well i can be your bitch when you holler at me Ronnie: cry is more accurate Joe: fuck sake Joe: forget about it Joe: it's a stupid idea Joe: you gonna give me a better one Ronnie: not one for the scrapbook was it cunt Ronnie: dry your eyes & do your own running Ronnie: you need me to hold your hand everytime now Ronnie: big enough to take it go find it Joe: ha ha Joe: like I'm running anywhere Ronnie: this where we play doctor yeah Ronnie: you tell me how bad it hurts & I make it better for you Joe: exactly Joe: now we're on the same page Ronnie: nah you think you can tear out some pages & spit ball em at me to get my attention but why should I give a shit bout these playground games boy just 'cause you heading back home to your mammy Ronnie: im sound Ronnie: dont care how loud you're crying she's the one who's gotta show up for that Joe: i don't want yor attention Joe: i want some heroin Ronnie: maybe she's still got old school connections Ronnie: find her little black book son Joe: maybe Joe: one of you could be useful like Ronnie: wounded & bleeding Ronnie: shit junkie you are house full of people to shake up & shit to steal but you coming to me Joe: just looking for that big sisterly advice Joe: obviously Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you sound like the littlest one what is he 4 like Joe: feel it Ronnie: trying to make my heart bleed now yeah Ronnie: grow a fucking pair before it really hurts Joe: if you wanted to scare me you shouldn't have given me the gear Joe: realistically too late anyway but who wants to hear or think about my idyllic childhood yeah Ronnie: if you couldnt hack it you shouldve cried off then Ronnie: save the tears now Joe: and i thought i was the only one with obsessive thought spirals Joe: when i get some i'll remember to feel good about how much you miss me Ronnie: like youre special baby Ronnie: please Ronnie: weve all got mad minds hows that not clicked in yours Ronnie: how many kids shes squeezed out & you reckon were the only self medicating Ronnie: hit up another sibling to fix you Joe: am though Joe: she's always told me Joe: ⭐ boy Ronnie: talk her up with that foreplay Ronnie: be good for £££s Joe: no tah Joe: not my type Joe: and it's only ever worked on you Joe: but you've given me another idea so cheers Ronnie: i dunno whats funnier that youre trying to tell me you dont wanna slip your mum one or you reckon you know what works on me Joe: lemme know when you work it out Joe: 👍 Ronnie: let me know when youve stopped playing happy families Joe: you reckon i wanna be here Ronnie: didnt see no fingernail marks on my floor or walls Ronnie: still reckon you were dragged though yeah Joe: check your thighs Joe: ain't all perks being the favourite 💔 Ronnie: [sends him pics cos that bitch haha] Ronnie: grow a pair whipping boy Ronnie: before she says jump youre on the ledge Ronnie: its pathetic mckenna Joe: see Joe: ain't been that long Joe: only feels it, babe Ronnie: you'll need all that sweet talk for the local dope dealer Ronnie: but if you wanna think of me when you're turning tricks for them it'll go easier Joe: lovely as that'd be Joe: not in progressive london now Joe: gonna have to pay like the rest, worst luck Ronnie: go beg for your pocket money then kidda Ronnie: before she picks a new fave Ronnie: younger & prettier like Joe: nah Joe: we want her to Joe: remember Joe: then me and more importantly my student loans can come back Ronnie: bullshit if you wanted her to you wouldn't have gone Ronnie: you love it Joe: can't just go way uni and never come back Joe: send out a search party Ronnie: use your ⭐ as a beacon cant they Joe: let's hope not Joe: i come here Joe: keeps 'em away rest of the time Joe: yeah Ronnie: if you want em to fuck off commit to it Ronnie: stop being such a pussy Joe: ain't that easy Ronnie: find a ditch to lie down in Ronnie: it ain't hard Ronnie: youre a junkie motherfuckers don't support that Joe: far as they know Joe: i ain't Joe: let 'em catch up Ronnie: do it yourself if you wanna slam the door Joe: see how this goes Joe: not really thinking about them right now Joe: you know Ronnie: youre on one about that lot constantly Joe: just on one constantly full stop Joe: why else would i need the shit Ronnie: dont need to go that hard playing doctor baby Joe: 💘 Joe: you always know just what to say Ronnie: not used to you talking Joe: i know i know Joe: in an ideal world neither of us would be here Ronnie: like not born yeah Ronnie: but she cant keep her legs closed Joe: such a dreamer, you Ronnie: not the one who cant get high without their hand held Joe: n'awh Joe: that's the dream Joe: so romantic too Ronnie: yeah im living it loads of gear close & you far as Ronnie: greedy prick Joe: miss you too baby Joe: in a bit tho, gotta go pick up Ronnie: fuck off soft lad Ronnie: you miss me spoon feeding you Ronnie: you cant talk to me with a dealers cock in your mouth I know Ronnie: multitasking hard enough pretending not to be junkie scum yeah Joe: sure the whole mummy kink ain't your thing Joe: i'll try and get involved but kinda a mood killer Joe: which is kinda rude, know you don't want me to score Ronnie: thats all yours but I'll try anything once Ronnie: 'cause a whinging dope sick baby is really a turn on for me like Ronnie: just gotta keep that going Joe: no judgment here Joe: gotta do what you gotta do Ronnie: you gotta Ronnie: im sound Joe: and i'm happy for you Ronnie: lie to them don't lie to me Joe: alright Joe: will be a bit when I get mine but still Joe: you don't have to be here so Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: grow up & cut the fucking apron strings Joe: you've stopped being helpful for the day? Joe: right then Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: not flying over to fuck you cos your ma aint in the mood & thats as helpful as it gets Joe: why not Ronnie: youve got another sister Ronnie: see if shes into it Joe: but you're so special yeah Ronnie: but shes a good grooming age Joe: leave it out Ronnie: or what Joe: or what Ronnie: asked you first joseph Joe: alright veronica Ronnie: alright weak cunt Joe: probably Ronnie: pick up before you make me sick Ronnie: jesus Joe: waiting on the man Joe: as per Ronnie: if id known rattling had made you shit out your whole spine id have sucked his dick for you & sped things along Joe: so sweet Joe: one of the many things I like about you Ronnie: list just gets longer the longer youre away yeah Ronnie: dont come back & maybe you'll fall in love Joe: i know you want that less than you want me back Joe: don't lie Ronnie: you care what I want now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: only when it benefits me too, darling Joe: junkie scum 101 Joe: was on my timetable like Ronnie: theyve really done a number on you if youre on your knees for my truth Joe: who Joe: mummy dearest or my school Ronnie: take your pick Joe: ain't tryna hide it Joe: just doing my bit to be the whiny baby you want rn Ronnie: cheers then Ronnie: nailed that Ronnie: tell your ma i finally get how she feels 'cause its too late to get you scraped out Joe: 😂 Joe: on it Joe: assuming i ain't 'bout to get kneecapped Joe: or worse Joe: stood up 💔 Ronnie: i'll cross my fingers for raped & robbed Ronnie: standard Joe: you know i ain't gonna have that much of a good time without you 💘 Ronnie: stop trying to make me say I hate you so you can rub one out Ronnie: i dont do sexting Joe: worth a shot Joe: just killing time here Joe: trying not to puke Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: like that attempt at enthusiasm Ronnie: you really know how to make a girl wet what can I say Ronnie: gotta romance my dealer out of want instead of need now Joe: thought I'd return the favour Joe: just how I roll Ronnie: course you do golden boy Joe: you ain't that mad about it Joe: i know Ronnie: i aint as fucking thick as you so again course Joe: true Joe: [time for drew to show and not deliver] Ronnie: made up about all these compliments Ronnie: who knew you could be this much on my tits from this distance Joe: just that good Joe: obviously Ronnie: you aint shit Ronnie: don't lie Joe: whatever Joe: can't touch me now Ronnie: only your ma is turned on at the sight of you Ronnie: but she will Joe: alright Joe: cba rn Ronnie: how are you still crying Ronnie: did he not show Joe: he did Joe: but he was about 12 and had no gear Joe: got enough tranqs to knock out an elephant but still Ronnie: when i told you to hit up your siblings i meant the freckled one not one of the toddlers Joe: yeah right Joe: like he knows a great smack dealer, even if we did talk Ronnie: hes a coke head Ronnie: give him 5 Joe: nah Joe: opposite direction Joe: only way is up Ronnie: whatever just get on a plane Joe: yeah Joe: i'm gonna Joe: fuck this Ronnie: ill be waiting with shit that aint a fucking joke Ronnie: you can owe me Joe: yeah? Joe: good Ronnie: don't talk me out of it Ronnie: christ you're annoying Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: only want you back on your feet so I can kick em out from under you myself Joe: hot Ronnie: like you said, it ain't been that long Ronnie: you know I am Joe: yeah Joe: where was this distraction when I really really needed it tho Ronnie: baby when have I ever been good for you Ronnie: selfish to my core Ronnie: we're here for me Joe: works for me Ronnie: just get to the airport & stop fannying about Joe: I've already taken 'em so hold on Joe: no packing now never mind going through customs Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: i had to Ronnie: when then Joe: still today Joe: just later Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: call me Ronnie: maybe i'll answer if it ain't too late Joe: can i call you now too Joe: i gotta stay awake Ronnie: I'm good but no guarantees I'm that good Joe: they ain't kicked in that good yet either Joe: just keep my eyes on the road yeah Ronnie: how much did you pay for baby aspirin mckenna Joe: was cheap as fuck at least Joe: just a kid Joe: barely broke a 50 for all of these so Joe: [photo] Ronnie: not as green as you feel yeah Joe: want me to bring some back Ronnie: too late to rob the boy now Ronnie: & you'll take em yourself before you see me I know you Joe: yeah Joe: i will Joe: but had good intentions, babe Ronnie: take em to church Ronnie: what use is that shit to me Ronnie: gimme bad ideas or don't come around Joe: got plenty of those come on Ronnie: like what Ronnie: come on Joe: what Joe: tryna focus here Ronnie: you wanna stay awake Ronnie: play the game Joe: alright Joe: yeah Joe: you gonna come back to mine Joe: flatmate's gone home Ronnie: are you gonna make it worth it if she's not there to kick in the teeth Joe: won't need to miss her once I'm back Ronnie: fucked her yet? Ronnie: we could do it together Ronnie: I dont normally slip one to virgins but I already made the exception for you Joe: no and funny Joe: keep me as the only exception Joe: how else will i feel special Ronnie: keep hitting up preteen dealers that'll help Joe: he was pretty Ronnie: if im ever in the area like Joe: i wish Ronnie: you & your ma both Ronnie: my turn to feel special Joe: weird ain't it Ronnie: for me Ronnie: you love it Joe: nah Ronnie: not a question Ronnie: you do Joe: don't Ronnie: liar Joe: maybe from you Joe: I'll allow it Ronnie: those pills better be kicking in Ronnie: if youre chatting this much shit sober you can stay in ireland Joe: 😂 Joe: they are Ronnie: book a flight Ronnie: i ain't your ma im not doing it Joe: lemme get home, like Joe: be more obvious you're tryna kill me Ronnie: what im trying to do Ronnie: you gonna call that your home now Joe: you know what i mean Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i know youre full of shit, mckenna Joe: nah Joe: just bars Joe: make it up to you Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: x it as many times as fits Joe: k Joe: prove it when i see you Ronnie: you reckon Joe: not a question Ronnie: nah just bold claims for someone who still fucks like a virgin & has to check in with his ma Ronnie: can you without her permission Joe: get the slip signed if you're so worried Joe: chill out Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: couple of chewable vitamins & you're chill yeah Joe: you said you got loads Ronnie: I said enough Ronnie: & that was before babysitting you Ronnie: you make me need to spike every vein Joe: need Joe: want Joe: same diff we both know it Ronnie: not trying to make it matter baby Ronnie: put any words in my mouth you want Ronnie: or need Joe: here Joe: wish me luck on telling 'em i'm off Joe: or don't Ronnie: i'll do it for you Ronnie: point me at the relevant mckennas Joe: even stoned Joe: know that ain't a good idea Ronnie: pussy Joe: love u 2 Ronnie: 💋 Joe: [suitable amount of hours for the shit to wear off to a manageable level, avoid the parents and get out on the sly] Joe: [airport photo] Joe: tada Ronnie: we reckoned you'd bottled it Joe: taken a poll like Ronnie: yeah know you like to feel special Joe: warms my cold dead 💘 Joe: honest Ronnie: walk your corpse to me then Joe: and she says she don't sext Ronnie: you wanna be the only exception so bad or what Joe: you know how bad i want it Ronnie: dont leave again & maybe I'll buy it Joe: being dopesick was almost a nice distraction from thinking about you Ronnie: that warms my 🖤 Joe: thought so Joe: nothing does it quite like me being near-death yeah Ronnie: i do like you pathetic Ronnie: but don't think that any of it comes close to me yeah Joe: you saying you're better than heroin Ronnie: im saying you think you were hurting earlier Ronnie: ill show you pain Ronnie: all you have to do is fuck off again Joe: i won't Joe: i need to be there Joe: with you Ronnie: leave me & I will fucking break you Ronnie: i mean it Joe: i know Joe: i'm not gonna Ronnie: how did you get out Joe: parents weren't in but i said a uni friend was in a car accident and they couldn't get hold of his parents Joe: going hell anyway Joe: and someone on my course was hit by a car so if any of them are that concerned to go snooping Ronnie: thats beautiful Ronnie: you're not as much of a useless waster as youve sounded for most of the day like Joe: steady Joe: was almost not an insult Ronnie: who isn't turned on by a good lie Joe: only when I lie to you Joe: got it Ronnie: don't you fucking dare lie to me Joe: couldn't if i wanted to Ronnie: think about what kind of welcome back you want Ronnie: 'cause I can be nice or not nice Ronnie: its on you & what you say to me Joe: baby Joe: already told you I basically missed you more than heroin, how nice can one boy be Ronnie: you wont be saying that when I hand the gear over Joe: yeah i will Joe: been on you longer Ronnie: its fucking good though Joe: yeah Joe: ain't gonna say otherwise Ronnie: paid more & got better so you won't wanna leave Ronnie: dont have to rely on pretty preteens around here Joe: you know i didn't wanna leave in the first place Ronnie: i know you keep saying it like it makes a difference Joe: tell me what will and i'll do it Ronnie: i'll burn your passport that will Joe: burn my passport Joe: that's what you want? Ronnie: what do you have to go running to them for Ronnie: that's what I wanna know Ronnie: what the fuck is there for you Ronnie: cant even get a fix Joe: nothing, never has been Joe: it's obligation though Joe: you get it, i know you've done some shit just 'cos charlie wants to Joe: or 'cos bronson need it Ronnie: that's different Joe: why Ronnie: I ain't going round bullshitting how much i hate 'em on the one breath & in the other dropping everything for the pair of 'em Ronnie: ride or die is that Joe: okay so it is different Joe: it's more complicated Ronnie: fuck complicated its black & white Joe: nah like Joe: whatever i reckon about them Joe: i still owe 'em Joe: for now Joe: debts to pay like Ronnie: how ain't it been paid Ronnie: they ain't done you right since you were a kid Ronnie: if ever Ronnie: a roof & food that's easily totalled Joe: i dunno Joe: shit ton of interest Joe: learnt from the best debt collectors in liverpool, like Ronnie: write it off Ronnie: is when youre dead Joe: tell 'em that's my payment plan Ronnie: talking it out is your first mistake Ronnie: when the fuck has that worked on anyone who comes to collect Ronnie: dont even buy you time just makes you look a doss cunt more than you are Joe: maybe i can convince my da but you know she's biased Joe: all i have to do is get uni done and they can tick it off as a success Ronnie: i dont know jack about her Ronnie: how i want it Ronnie: if i aint read it off a file as a kid i don't need to hear it Joe: yeah Joe: but i ain't telling you i'm golden boy 'cos it seems cool am i Joe: whatever i'm gone now Ronnie: you're telling me 'cause you wanna trade wounds since I won't have your stories off you Ronnie: burn it into your arm deeper & maybe I'll pay attention Joe: you know it ain't about you, babe Joe: anyway, if we were still being nice I'd tell you none of the usual shit works to get you outta my head so thanks for that one Ronnie: ive been saying all day it's about her & I ain't competing with your fucking ma alright Ronnie: she smothered you poor baby Ronnie: you wanna try neglect its real easy Ronnie: feels better too Joe: you're the one who keeps bringing her up, yeah Joe: you want me to be that cunt Joe: easy Joe: I bet it was better, lucky you Ronnie: youre the one who ran home to have her tuck you in again Ronnie: youre that cunt Ronnie: mama's boy Joe: fuck's sake Joe: yeah alright Ronnie: you're the cunt who has the nerve to come crying to me when your mommy would shoot you up if you asked her to Joe: you reckon Joe: considering her dad was and she don't even hate yours as much i'll go with a no on that one Joe: plenty of sad stories I've heard and you ain't need to Ronnie: I reckon golden boy Ronnie: loves you as much as I love gear yeah Ronnie: & not trying to throw another baby away so you're welcome for the free pass Joe: cheers Joe: feels great Ronnie: you gonna cry again mckenna Joe: if i do i'll send you photos, don't worry Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: send me some either way Joe: you're a headfuck you know Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: dealer said it last time I fucked him Joe: you want fresh line Joe: 👌 Ronnie: give it to me then Joe: give me the flight to think of something you ain't heard before Ronnie: it ain't long enough Joe: fair there's plenty of shit i can say that you ain't heard for real before Joe: but it'd be a copout so i'll keep trying Ronnie: like what Joe: how many of your brothers you fucked lik4 Ronnie: don't reckon freckles is interested Ronnie: leaves me the gay & the kid Ronnie: what about your sister that'd be hot like Joe: they're all kids, just so you know Ronnie: no they ain't Ronnie: i know you lost your virginity to me but don't reckon they're waiting Joe: you wish Joe: hopefully just on the first count Ronnie: you're a sick boy Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you too baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: thats not some shit I ain't heard before Joe: just truth though Joe: no lying Ronnie: feels like one Ronnie: I'm good Joe: what you want me to say to that Ronnie: say what you wanna say Ronnie: again not your ma Joe: i'm good then Ronnie: truth or lie Joe: lie but not a big one Joe: true once i'm off this plane Ronnie: you out of sweeties or they're just that sugar free Joe: i'm trying to time it just right Joe: then i can actually just a decent amount and not be in a coma for you Ronnie: alright fuck Ronnie: you win Ronnie: nobody's said that to me before Joe: i mean it Joe: i want you first Ronnie: don't say this shit when you're on the wrong side of a plane ride Ronnie: jesus mckenna Joe: gotta make sure you miss me too Ronnie: you're such a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: you still want me though Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: why Ronnie: what do you want me to say Joe: you don't have to say anything Joe: but I ain't gonna shut up about how I ain't been able to get you out of my head this whole time Ronnie: yeah you said im a headfuck Ronnie: more than your family & the gear Ronnie: I'll take it Joe: better though Joe: you know Joe: so I'll take it and all Ronnie: you're a headfuck Ronnie: what are you being nice to me for Joe: you said it could go one of two ways Joe: you want me to be mean Ronnie: I want you to be here Ronnie: but you ain't Joe: I'm coming Ronnie: & I'm waiting on you Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I know Ronnie: I hate you Ronnie: I'm losing it, do you know that Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: what am I gonna do with that Joe: I don't know Joe: what do you want me to do Ronnie: what can you do Ronnie: can't even score by yourself Ronnie: worse than a fucking kid Joe: was desperate Joe: and it was your idea Ronnie: thats how it is every time Ronnie: you don't have any fucking idea 'cause I'm here cupping your balls & wiping your arse for you Joe: you've been giving me an easy ride of it yeah Joe: alright Ronnie: youre gonna try & call bullshit on that yeah Joe: nah i just had no idea you were being so generous Joe: would've got you a keychain at least Ronnie: fuck you Joe: you too Ronnie: get one with sharp edges we can make a blood oath or some shit Ronnie: maybe after you'll grow the hell up Joe: sure Joe: it's my speciality yeah Ronnie: cutting's more mine but you can have it Ronnie: same old shit gets boring yeah Joe: we can share Joe: she'd be proud Ronnie: my aspiration in life Ronnie: cheers Joe: obvs mine too Ronnie: you brought her up then not me Joe: reckon you owed me that one so Joe: even Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: say that again & you'll be swallowing teeth Joe: don't worry, that was hot Joe: you won it back Ronnie: go to hell mckenna Joe: you wanna be with me forever Joe: 💘 Ronnie: just reckoning you'll get there quicker than you will this fucking airport Joe: just be glad I didn't try to get back in at rush hour Ronnie: be glad im still waiting Joe: ain't gonna waste words on it Joe: show you Ronnie: 💘

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Sorry about that Rio: her mans hasn't text her Buster: And that's closer to Drew's fault than it is mine Buster: But whatever Rio: I know Rio: she's really hurting this AM Buster: Yeah and he's got drugs Buster: What have I got? Buster: It's fine Rio: You know, father of the year coming through to save the day again Rio: Well, I appreciate all your help last night, even if she don't remember Buster: Good thing I didn't do it for her then Buster: I still reckon you should have left them to it and come with me Rio: Best I'm around in case it kicks off again Rio: Drew'll tire of it long before it's close to being sorted so Buster: I know Buster: I'm just bringing my selfishness into the new year Rio: I don't blame you Rio: Any other morning, like Buster: Let me know when he's gone and I'll circle back Buster: So long as Indie don't try and fight me about it, like Rio: 'Course Rio: Nah, sure her lad'll hit her up and she'll be outta here like a shot Buster: No offense to the kid but I hope so Buster: You got up so early 😒 Rio: Awh baby Rio: Knew she'd be laying there stewing otherwise Buster: Mothering duty calls I get it Rio: You know I'd rather be with you Rio: lowkey using the barricading skills you showed me rn so they leave me alone, like Rio: it ain't a party Buster: I'm getting breakfast and checking Edie's socials so lowkey feel like a dad Buster: Not a party either Rio: Hot 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You have no business looking that good in the AM without teasing me as well Rio: Now who's teasing Rio: I dread to think Buster: I mean it Buster: You're beautiful Rio: You're nice Rio: I feel like shit Buster: What can I do? Rio: Nah, nothing Rio: 'less you got an IV drip and a way to knock some sense into Indie and Edie without getting out the gloves, like Buster: I know places where that shit is trendy Buster: Among other things Rio: I don't doubt it, babe Buster: I can send someone round if you like Buster: It works Rio: With those two dossing in the front room? That wouldn't be shaming 🙄 Rio: I'll drink my water, don't worry Buster: Good girl Rio: Really Rio: I already miss you, don't be hitting me with that Buster: I can't help it Buster: I miss you too Buster: And Nance ain't bringing her A game to this outing Rio: Tell her she's gotta revel in the fact she weren't the holy show last night Buster: Already did Buster: Probably why she's pouting into her scrambled egg Buster: 😂 Rio: Aww Rio: There's still time, babe, make it your resolution and you've got all year Buster: I'm already trying to make her see that the barista is flirting with her not me Buster: My work is cut out Buster: She's gotta put hers in by firing back Rio: Fr, need a success story this morning Buster: She's as red as her hair, this ain't gonna happen Buster: I really did get all the game, like Rio: Leave her alone 😂 Rio: Poor girl Buster: Excuse me, you wanted me to play nice with the fam Buster: This barista is hot and Nance is welcome Rio: 😏 Appreciate the effort Rio: She clearly got your dose of shame too Buster: Unlucky Rio: Either that or she don't share your type Buster: That's a given Buster: I'm not trying to fuck no MILFS tempting as it'd be to piss James off by doing his mum Rio: Eww Rio: Too early for that, thank you Buster: She's not that bad Buster: a solid 7 Rio: Take your word for it Rio: Fortunately didn't meet her Buster: So that's a no to the threesome then? Buster: Shame Rio: 😂 Rio: Never say never, babe Buster: Picture the happy couple walking in on that, the only incentive you need Buster: Chlo thinks she knows freaky, nah babe Rio: She 'bouta find out Rio: he's weird as hell Buster: And she's vanilla as hell Buster: What a match Rio: Well out of it Rio: You reckon they even together still Rio: if they were Buster: I know they are Buster: Even both blocked I'm still seeing them somehow Rio: Lovely Buster: Do you want me to bring you some coffee or anything? Rio: That's okay baby Rio: Come back though, even if you have to bring work to do Buster: 'Course Buster: Soon as the coast is clear Rio: I don't care Rio: I live here too Buster: I just don't wanna make things worse for you, babe Buster: You know he winds me up Rio: We can ignore him Rio: I'm not sitting with them Buster: Alright Rio: You don't have to Rio: but I want you here Buster: I want to be there Buster: With you Rio: Good Rio: I fucking hate him, he's barely acknowledge what happened last night Buster: Yeah, I bet Buster: Such a cunt Rio: But I'm the one that's killing the vibe 'cos I don't wanna get high rn Rio: Okay Buster: It's literally morning Buster: I'm no pussy but come on Rio: Seriously, we ain't getting last night back, lads Rio: give it up now Buster: Should I bring food for Indie? Buster: She's gonna be fucked Rio: Yeah, get her back on side for sure Buster: She basically eats anything, yeah? Rio: Literally Rio: It's a madness where she puts it Buster: I'll grab some stuff for you too, if you don't want it I'm sure Indie'll eat it for you Rio: You're cute Buster: Getting my heroics in early, that's all Rio: Can't help yourself, right Buster: 'Course not Rio: Why I can't help but like you Buster: As long as it's not the only reason Rio: I know you want the list Buster: Yeah Rio: I'll work on it whilst you do your essays Buster: We'll see who finishes first Buster: Word count is key Rio: Damn, I was gonna hit it with the bullet points Rio: no slacking, I guess Buster: You're getting graded, babe Buster: Think on Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not got any 🍎s so I'll give it my all Buster: I'll take 🍑s you know Rio: 😂 we're alright then Rio: got that in abundance Buster: 😂 Buster: When did Nance get so chatty? Let me go Rio: You love it Rio: and I get a headstart, win win Buster: I love you Buster: And I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: Prove it Rio: How do you want me to do that today baby? Buster: Surprise me Buster: No offense to my sister but I'm bored Rio: I'll make it extra good then Rio: Hmm, gimme 5 Buster: Take 10 Rio: Generous as always Buster: You'll see how generous I can be when I get back Rio: You'll be feeling it Rio: Looking for that A, you know Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Rio: [Snap] Buster: Well now you've got me thinking all kinds of things Rio: Yeah? Rio: Positively inspiring Buster: Babe Buster: Tell me I can't walk out and leave my sister sitting here 'cause that's all I want Rio: Be good now and I'll be as bad as you want Buster: That's why I love you Buster: Not that I'm writing you a list on a napkin right now, like Rio: Pretend it's for the waitress if you get caught, babe Buster: Obviously Buster: Doing my best as is to teach Nance how to flirt Buster: She's useless and it's weird Buster: People are gonna think we're a couple if she don't catch on to any of it soon Rio: 😬 She'd shut that down faster than you at least Rio: I hope you aren't matching today Buster: You know she'd make me change if we had been Rio: 😂 Rio: Bless Buster: Shame Chlo's blocked I could've sent her some twin time Buster: Really convince her of my incest kink Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't make that face Rio: [Sends actual grumpy face] Buster: You're so cute Rio: Then be nice Rio: I'm trying to think about you here, not that bitch Buster: I'm sorry baby Buster: I'll kiss you until I feel you smile again, okay Rio: It's a start 😋 Buster: And then I'll let you decide where you want me to go next Buster: Wherever cheers you up the most Rio: Want me to show you where I need it most? Buster: You know I do Rio: Tilt your phone, this ain't for anyone else, especially not your sister Rio: Sorry to disappoint, Chloe Rio: [Snap] Buster: I went into the bathroom, reckoning that would be the best idea Buster: I'm having so many flashbacks to last night Buster: Jesus Rio: You weren't wrong Rio: I keep touching, I can feel each individual hit, it's turning me on so much Buster: Fuck Buster: I need to touch you or myself right now Rio: Do it Rio: I can make you cum so fast if I want, we both know it Buster: Especially when you talk like that Rio: I want you to be as needy as me Buster: I'm there, trust me Rio: You're not Rio: Not until you've silently cum in that bathroom stall thinking about me riding you Rio: They're still here so I had to bite down on my pillow Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I can't be silent Buster: I can't Rio: I know Rio: It's one of the things that makes you so fucking hot Rio: I don't care, I want people to hear, know how I've got you Buster: If I bite my lip any harder it's gonna bleed, that's how you've got me Rio: You can handle it, baby Rio: Give me something to kiss better Buster: You can have anything Buster: Everything Rio: I want it all, all of you Rio: because you own me Buster: I'm all yours, babe Buster: This is for you too 'cause I want you so bad Rio: Fuck yourself like you'd fuck me if I was there with you Rio: I want you to cum so hard Buster: Baby I'm so close already Rio: Yeah you are Rio: I bet your dick is covered in precum now, I wish I was there to taste it Buster: Christ, Rio Buster: I fucking love you Rio: I love you Rio: You're everything, babe Buster: Tell me again Buster: Make me cum Rio: You're my everything, Buster and I fucking love you Rio: All I wanna do is make you happy and make you cum Buster: Oh my god, baby Buster: You're perfect Buster: I can't Rio: You can though Rio: it's why we work so well, you're just as bad as me Buster: Fuck Rio: You're cumming for me right now, aren't you, baby? Rio: Fuck Buster: I just came so hard saying your name Buster: Nobody better have heard that Rio: Jesus, you're so good Rio: too fucking good Rio: I wanted to hear it but I'll make you say it even louder when you get here Buster: Somehow I have to get my shit together so I can go and pay the bill Buster: It's fucking ridiculous what you can do to me without even being here Rio: Sorry, Daddy Rio: I bet you look so fucking good now, they gonna be too flustered to care Rio: It's the same for me, I never think about anyone else now, you're all my fantasies Buster: [sends pics because you know he would, shameless bastard] Buster: Keep thinking about me Buster: I'll be there soon Rio: 😻 Rio: Okay how are you real Buster: Says you Buster: On another level of beautiful, like Rio: You make me feel so good Buster: Good 'cause that's all I wanna do Rio: but I have one question Buster: Go on Rio: Can I touch myself or do I need to wait for Daddy? Rio: I wanna be good for you but it aches Buster: I want you to do it Buster: You need to feel as good as I do Rio: Your hands are so big and rough it feels so good on the most sensitive parts of me Buster: I know, babe Buster: It's why I never wanna stop touching you Rio: I wish we could just fuck forever sometimes Rio: Any time I'm not with you feels wasted Buster: Me too Buster: But you look so good wanting me too so it's not ever wasted Rio: You can watch me want you 'til you're hard again Rio: I'll do all the work, you've earnt it Buster: You've the hottest girl I've ever seen never mind met Rio: And I'm all for you Rio: Don't get mad 'cos this is a little fucked up to say but I hope he hears you fucking me, 'cos he could never and will never Rio: Me moaning your name over and over like a prayer Buster: I'm not mad Buster: You're mine and I want him to know it Rio: Good Rio: Me too Buster: I hope he gets mad Rio: Yeah? Buster: He needs to realise that you're never gonna want anyone as much as you want me Buster: And he's never gonna need you as badly as I do Rio: He really does Rio: and now I really want you to show him Buster: I will Buster: All day if that's what it takes Buster: I'll fuck you so hard and loud your whole street will know it Rio: Even if he gets the message before then like Rio: Please Buster: I know what you need, babe Buster: It's not about him, that's just a bonus Rio: Just when I think I can't love you any more Buster: You're gonna have to marry me, sorry about it Rio: Well, you have ruined me for anyone else Rio: No other boys are like you Buster: Don't forget it Rio: Promise Buster: I promise I won't let you either Buster: I'm always gonna make you feel this good Rio: You really mean that, don't you? Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't know how to do anything else, not with you Buster: It's how you make me feel Rio: Good, it really is all I want Rio: for you to be happy and for me to be happy with you Buster: Wish granted, like Buster: I'm finally leaving Rio: 🙌 Buster: I don't even have to give Nance a lift either 'cause she's shopping or some shit Buster: So actually won't be long Rio: Clearly doing something right, like Rio: God or 🍀 whatever you want working in our favour for once Buster: Yeah, as much as I'm the only god you really need, the other bloke ain't doing bad right now Rio: He's the OG wingman when you got him on side, I'm telling you Buster: I hope he ain't the jealous type then 'cause you know you're gonna be praying to me before him Rio: 'Course not Rio: Practically encouraged Rio: if we pretend the birth control ain't there but shh, he turns a blind eye to when I go down the clinic and I turn one to all the suffering, like Buster: Let's never pretend that though Rio: Doesn't do it for me either, I promise you that Buster: That's why you're the one I'm with and not the one we ain't talking about anymore ever Buster: Well, one of the countless reasons, like Rio: I'll take that, happily Buster: I love you, Rio. So much Rio: I love you too Rio: You make me forget that right now isn't perfect 'cos I feel it when you're around Buster: Me too Buster: You're so perfect I'll take that and deal with whatever shit I have to Rio: Together Rio: You don't need to do it all alone anymore Buster: You either Rio: Thank you Buster: You never have to say that to me Rio: I do though 'cos I don't think anyone has ever acknowledged I have shit to deal with Rio: not to be all woe is me about it but Buster: I know they haven't, but like I said before, I know what you need, babe Buster: I'm here for you whatever Rio: How do you know what I need Rio: It's crazy Buster: I don't know Buster: I just do Buster: Maybe I always have Rio: Yeah Rio: I think so Rio: That's how it feels Buster: It's like how you know who I actually am Buster: Not to be that cunt about it Rio: Exactly though Rio: I would've never admitted it, even a year or so back but Rio: I don't know Rio: I knew you were different Buster: Yeah Buster: Why do you think I couldn't come near you, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know we had to get our shit together and heads sorted- ish Rio: but I wish I'd had you sooner still Buster: You did Buster: That kiss still happened Rio: True Buster: I wanted to be around you all the time back then Rio: When you had the misfortune of being in Dublin, like 😉 Buster: It used to make me so mad when I had to go home Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah, I loved it, being here Buster: I don't know when that changed Buster: How I chose London and all those cunts instead Rio: I get it Rio: It was more permanent, more stable Rio: you could only be here properly in the holidays, who wants to come somewhere and feel like they've missed out on so much Rio: Especially when Nance moved too Buster: When she chose here it was like I couldn't have it Buster: Even if I wanted to Buster: It's stupid but Rio: Nah, I see it Rio: I mean, it wasn't you why she left but, it hit too close for comfort for both of you Buster: Enough of it was me Rio: You both had some shit to sort Rio: who doesn't Rio: but I'd say you're both getting there now, yeah? Buster: I'm trying 'cause I didn't before, not hard enough Buster: I didn't want her to stay 'cause she knows me too, even if she didn't reckon I was still that same person, like Buster: It was too hard having her around so I didn't make it easy for her to be Rio: Yeah Rio: Shit is hard enough without giving yourself a hard time, you were doing what you had to for an easy time Rio: Doesn't excuse it or make it right but you can make it right now, like Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna go to Uni here, I've decided Buster: Wherever Nance goes, this is still home for her Buster: And you're here, most importantly Rio: That'll be so good Rio: I'm really excited now Buster: We won't have to do this back and forth bullshit any more Buster: I'll just be here Rio: Have to go more places together to get that platinum membership now, like Rio: but still, what could be better Buster: Exactly Buster: That said, I am nearly there, so I have a few ideas of what could come close Rio: Oh yeah? I'm all ears, baby Buster: I'm gonna make you cum so many times that it won't only be Drew wanting me to stop Buster: You'll be so sensitive to me I'll have you begging Rio: 😩😩😩 Rio: This is me giving full permission to ignore me though because I want that so bad Rio: don't stop 'til you're fully satisfied daddy Buster: I won't be satisfied until you've said my name enough to lose your voice Rio: Oh my God, Buster Buster: Yeah, just like that, babe Rio: Just practicing 😂😋 Buster: Good Buster: Be ready for me Rio: We're beyond ready Rio: You shouldn't have let me play with myself Rio: I'm messy Buster: I'll clean you up, babe, it's okay Rio: If you don't stop, I'm gonna be saying your name before you even get here Buster: Say it Buster: Let him know how bad you want me already Rio: Okay Rio: I'm not even embarrassed, this is just how good you are Buster: Fuck yourself like I'm there watching Buster: I want you weak for me when I am Rio: Yes, sir Buster: Hurry up though 'cause I'm nearly at your door Buster: You have to cum before I get back, yeah? Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so close, I can feel it Buster: Don't stop Rio: I won't baby Rio: Tell me to cum for you, oh God please Buster: Go harder now Buster: It's time to cum for me baby Rio: I'm fucking myself so hard he can probably hear exactly how wet my pussy is for you Buster: Yeah he can Rio: This is all for you Buster: Tell me you love me so he knows it too Rio: Buster I love you I love you Buster: I love you Rio: I don't know if I've ever cum like that just with my hand Rio: Jesus Buster: You've been such a good girl for me I'll let myself in Buster: Don't move Rio: I don't think I can, and that's without factoring in how much it makes me melt when you call me your good girl so Buster: If I need you in a different position, I'll move you, don't worry Rio: Come in here and show me how big and strong you are Buster: Just delivering Indie's food and checking out how mad Drew already is Buster: I almost wish you could move so you'd know Rio: Serious? Rio: You're gonna have to fill me in more ways than one then Buster: I will, I promise

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: You owe someone a pint, like Buster: What? Rio: Indie just got back from A & E Rio: Someone broke Drew's nose, apparently Buster: So it was broke? Good Buster: You can have that pint on me Rio: You what now Buster: You heard me Buster: I'm not about to toast myself, maybe next time if I go harder but Buster: If you wanna celebrate, you're welcome Rio: What the fuck, Buster? Buster: What's your problem? You were happy about it a second ago Rio: I'm not crying about it but Rio: why? Buster: Don't act like you need a list Rio: I thought you'd decided to leave it Rio: What changed? Buster: He didn't leave it Buster: Started chatting shit so Rio: When doesn't he? Hardly new Buster: When he's bleeding Buster: He's too busy trying not to cry then, like Rio: For God's sake Buster: What? Buster: You want me to be sorry now? Rio: This isn't funny Rio: I want you to think of an excuse for hitting him 'cos you clearly don't have a real reason you're wanting to share Buster: Oh so you wanna know what he was saying about you, is that it? Buster: 'Cause there's my reason Rio: Yeah, well I assume you don't want to tell Indie, or anyone else that could ask, that Rio: hence we agreed to leave it and him alone Buster: He's not gonna tell anyone that an 18 year old posh boy fucked him up Buster: It's fine Rio: It ain't Rio: there's something you aren't telling me Buster: You mean I ain't Buster: True Buster: But I don't wanna talk about it so unless there's any more you wanna say about Drew Rio: I don't care about him Buster: Good to know Buster: It hasn't been that long since we spoke last, like Buster: Would be awkward if you'd changed your mind that hard Rio: Is there anything I can do? Rio: Without you having to talk, like Buster: I don't know Buster: I'm just trying to have a drink Rio: Fine Rio: well you said you'd buy me one so where are you? Buster: The fam boozer so I'm guessing you're gonna want a raincheck on that Rio: What, you can't be seen with me now? Buster: What like we're best friends who drink together now? Rio: It's not that weird Rio: you just want to avoid the conversation Buster: It can be both Rio: Is Grandad there? Buster: 'Course Buster: So I don't need you sliding into the booth next to me Buster: My head's already wrecked without being that close to you as well Rio: Good Rio: Just tell me what's wrong Buster: There aren't words for it, babe Buster: I don't know what to say Rio: It's not gotta be poetic Rio: take your time but Rio: you're scaring me, like Buster: That's not what I want, I'm sorry Buster: It's just a mess. I am Buster: Chlo hit me up again Rio: It's alright, just let Grandad take you home when he says you've had enough, yeah? Rio: Right, what did she say? Buster: She's saying its not mine now Rio: Oh, babe Rio: It should be illegal to mess with someone's head this much Rio: What the fuck is wrong with her Buster: She don't wanna be associated with me so she's lying Buster: But I can't prove that until she has the kid Rio: Jesus Rio: Be honest, is it because of me? Because, you can change her mind on that Rio: I know I said it was a bad idea but fuck Buster: It's too late to change her mind Buster: You haven't heard the really good part yet Rio: I'm really sorry, Buster Rio: Now I don't have the words Rio: Do I even want to know, what could be the 'good' part of this? Buster: Don't say sorry Buster: None of this is your fault, I wouldn't play her game and I wouldn't have regardless of us being together or not Buster: You don't want to know but I had to hear it so Buster: And we tell each other everything yeah? Buster: She's told James he's the dad Buster: They are together now or some shit I assume Rio: No, it's all her, right Rio: It isn't yours either Rio: but this is fucking Rio: the worst, I didn't think people actually did shit like this outside of bad TV Rio: That would be hilarious if it so clearly wasn't Rio: even he doesn't deserve that, fucking hell Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe it did happen? I reckoned they hadn't fucked since last Christmas 'cause he hadn't said anything and you know how he likes to chat but maybe it's different with her Buster: Fuck knows why but he likes her Buster: Or maybe he was just off his face too like she said Buster: Or maybe she's just fucking lying to me Rio: That's the fucked thing Rio: you can't trust anything she says Rio: and then she tells you two stories anyway so, is either true, neither, like? Rio: The worst headfuck Buster: Tell me what to do Buster: I can't handle months of this Buster: I don't even know how far gone she is now, like Rio: Does she? Rio: Maybe you talk to her parents? They have to handle this because she isn't Rio: If she's under 18 and under their care, they've got some sway, she can't just do what she wants when she's fucking up this badly Buster: Alright Buster: That's a better idea that anything I'm doing right now Buster: Trying not to cry in this fucking pub Buster: Turned into my fucking sister Rio: Understandable, more than Rio: Do you want me to come get you? Buster: I don't even know what I want Buster: I should be happy shouldn't I? Off the hook Buster: Like I could literally go to America if I want Rio: Because you don't know for sure Rio: all she's given you is more uncertainty and you're not a complete cunt like her so you're not fine not knowing Rio: You wanna do the right thing Buster: I should've hit Drew harder, that's the closest I'm getting to the right thing right now Rio: I think you're right he won't say, Indie didn't have a clue so Rio: don't worry about that Rio: you wanna go punch things? Buster: I'm gonna be sick is what I reckon Buster: Hold on Rio: Better? Buster: I swear she's gonna give me a stomach ulcer like its the fucking 80s Buster: Stressing me the fuck out Buster: I'm not drunk enough for this, I'll never be Rio: Get another drink Rio: I'd like to give you better advice but at this point Rio: that is the best you can do Buster: I've changed my mind, you should come Buster: Be here Rio: Okay, I'll come get you Buster: Stay with me Buster: It's the furthest away from Chelsea cunts we can be Buster: I fucking love this pub Rio: Maybe you enjoy it for a while longer then I'll come, yeah Rio: Don't need the added stress of that do you Buster: You're not stress Rio: I mean the stress of not being us properly, like Buster: We're still us Buster: Remember when we were little, we were always here 'cause our parents were always working Rio: Yeah Rio: Why I'm so good at pool, like Buster: And pulling pints Buster: You loved it, Nance was under a table if she weren't behind me, but you were in your element, like Buster: 2nd home for you and gotta be our 3rd Rio: Naturally, cheers for the stunning CV like, pops Rio: Shit was so simple then Buster: I thought it was so shit at the time, what the fuck did I know Rio: Well, always been a moody bastard Buster: Nah, you've just always been that annoying Rio: Rude Rio: I am a delight and always have been Buster: Whatever you say, babe Buster: Still waiting on you to come here and show me Rio: Just 'cos I was everyone's fave, soz I took your shine Buster: Nobody can say no that face that's all Buster: Same, like Rio: How're you finding the time to still be cute, like? Buster: It comes natural with you, that's what I'm saying Buster: Everyone's fave Rio: Shh Buster: You know exactly what you're doing, looking and being like that Rio: What are you chatting, babe? Buster: That you're perfect Rio: And that's all part of my master plan, is it? 😏 Buster: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: well, don't tell Buster: 🤐 obviously Rio: Good, you're not that drunk yet Buster: I'm not drunk Buster: I'm working on it Rio: 😂 Godspeed Buster: Come and join me Buster: I'm gonna keep asking Buster: You're not the only one who can be annoying, like Rio: You wanna awkwardly avoid eye contact that bad? Buster: I want you Rio: Then drink your drinks and I'll come get you Rio: you can't have me in the pub Rio: we can't talk either, which I know is part of the appeal Buster: so sensible Buster: it's hot Rio: Glad you agree, babe Buster: 😏 Rio: Remember, water, yeah? Buster: That's my line, baby Rio: Yeah but it's solid Rio: so take it, like Buster: Don't worry, it's handled Rio: Good boy Buster: Behave Buster: Talking like that to me Rio: 🤐 Buster: Don't act like you don't love it Rio: Obviously but Rio: time and a place isn't there Buster: it can be right now Rio: Nah Buster: Don't you wanna feel good? I do Rio: I know you do baby Rio: You will do again Buster: I hate this. I hate her Rio: Yeah Rio: This is horrible Buster: At least I don't have to tell Nance now Rio: That's true Rio: Any silver lining Buster: Yeah Buster: Dodged that bullet, cheers Chlo Rio: Yeah, enjoy not having her in your face for now Rio: 'til her parents can get this sorted Rio: it doesn't need to be all on you Buster: James of all people Buster: You're really gonna have to kick him off your stream now, he'll need all that cash Rio: Oh God Rio: what a pair Rio: could've gone my whole life without that mental image Buster: I'd almost feel bad for him if he wasn't such a cunt Buster: Don't worry lad I'll resolve this for you Rio: Yeah, wonder how he's feeling rn Rio: if it's even true, like Buster: Hit him up Buster: Sure he'd still love to hear from you, babe Rio: Play 2nd to Chloe again? You're alright Buster: Don't Buster: You never were Rio: I know Rio: just a joke Rio: also not gutted over the loss of James from the dating game, just in case you didn't get that either ���� Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause from how he made it sound you had the best night of your life Rio: Oh James Rio: not a wistful sigh Rio: 😬 just nah Buster: Thank Christ I know enough about what you do like now to know it's such bullshit and not be jealous Rio: Yeah, that would really be a waste of your time, trust Buster: Been there, done that Rio: Yeah Rio: That feels like forever ago Buster: Yeah? Buster: I'm glad Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: Don't you think? Rio: It isn't really but a lot's happened since Rio: like I love you too Buster: Yeah Buster: Like you said, its one thing after another Rio: Yeah, won't tempt fate by asking what else but you know Rio: gotta be a limit, right? Buster: Regardless I need a holiday and we've just been Rio: Tell me about it Rio: Should've taken Nance up on her offer Buster: It ain't too late for a last minute trip, babe Rio: It is a bit Rio: 🎅 coming Buster: Like he ain't gonna know where to find you Rio: What about the fam tho Buster: I ain't saying you gotta go anywhere, you know he ain't the one bringing you gifts anyway Buster: Sit on my lap and tell me what you want Rio: Babe Rio: You're killing me Buster: Stop fighting it then Buster: I want you and you want me Rio: Not right now, I can't babe, 'cos you're trashed and even if you weren't, you ain't in the best headspace Rio: I'm still come see you if you want Buster: You can change that, you're the only person who can Buster: Give me a good mood Rio: Alright, omw Rio: remember where you are, yeah? Buster: I ain't no amateur remember Rio: Don't forget it, champ Buster: I've got a full 10 rounds left in me, babe Rio: 'Course 😏 Buster: You'll see Rio: Better not Rio: Best behaviour boy Buster: 'Course Rio: Very convincing Buster: Yeah I know Rio: Sure you've got the oscars speech ready, like Buster: I'll do it on the night Buster: Be alright Rio: 😂 Rio: Hot Buster: Like I said, yeah I know Rio: S'alright, I rate cockiness, as it goes so Buster: Glad to hear it, like Rio: What story do you reckon Ro is getting 'bout his busted nose Buster: 😂 Buster: Mugging for that watch he's still wearing on his wrist probably Rio: Forreal Rio: like hold up sis, this ain't adding up Buster: She's the stupidest smart woman I've ever met Rio: Wilful ignorance probably the least blissful but Rio: easier than dealing with the shitstorm I suppose Buster: Yeah Rio: I'd ask him but don't wanna give him any better ideas, get outta this one yourself moron Buster: Don't talk to him Rio: I'm not, he's just chatting shit Buster: About me? Rio: Well yeah, gotta try and save face after you beat him, like I care Buster: Tell me Rio: Not saying anything worth hearing, or getting mad about, don't worry Buster: Everything that comes out of his mouth makes me mad Buster: Don't start keeping secrets for him too Rio: I'm not, if you wanna know then you can but no need to bloody your knuckles over it a 2nd time is all I'm saying Buster: Whatever Rio: Don't be mad, I shouldn't have brought it up Buster: Yeah you should Buster: That's my fucking point Rio: It doesn't bother me Rio: I just ignore him Buster: Don't even fucking start me on that Buster: Seriously Rio: What Rio: what am I meant to do Buster: I'm not talking in circles with you about this Buster: You know the answers already and I'm mad Rio: If I thought there was a better way to deal with it, I'd be doing that so Rio: let's leave it Buster: Whatever Buster: Just keep leaving it for his fucking benefit, yeah? Fine Rio: Not his, everyone else's Buster: Bullshit. Who's it helping but him? Rio: Indie, Ro, their kid Rio: saving the entire fam from the aggro Buster: Nah Buster: They'd be better off knowing Buster: You're saving yourself 'cause you reckon they're gonna think you like it, nothing I can say 'cause I know better and I'm the most selfish cunt going too, but own it Buster: At least to me Buster: No more excuses, like Rio: You really think that's all it is, that I'm that selfish Rio: Fuck off Buster: I reckon it's closest to the truth, yeah Buster: 'Cause chat all you want but you're not saving the fam anything, just stalling and how is that better? Buster: Why would you wanna wait til that baby is old enough to understand or Ro's married? Fuck that Rio: So that's on me now too, yeah? Rio: She's turned a blindeye to worse and we all know it Buster: She ain't turning a blind eye to this though and you know it Buster: She doesn't know Buster: He ain't that stupid and neither is she Rio: There's nothing to know because nothing's going to happen Rio: Despite what you clearly reckon, I won't let it Buster: Fuck off, Rio Buster: Don't twist my words Buster: The intent is there, ain't that bad enough? Rio: What, like I'm special? Rio: Sure he's already cheating on her Rio: sorry I don't wanna be the other woman she can push bullshit blame on Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: She's not gonna blame you Buster: You're family, she loves you, she helped raise you, shut up Rio: Whatever Rio: I know how this goes Buster: No you don't Buster: And if Nance was in your place you wouldn't be saying whatever about it Rio: Well she isn't Rio: and it wouldn't be anyone but me Buster: Don't you dare tell me again that you asked for this Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: I didn't say it Buster: You're thinking it though Buster: That's so fucked Rio: You've said as much right here so don't act like you haven't Rio: or that everyone else won't so yeah, whatever, you're right Buster: I've never meant it though Buster: You do Rio: It's the truth Buster: No it's not Buster: It's so far from the truth Rio: Whatever Rio: I've got nothing more to say about it Buster: Fuck this Buster: I'm going for a walk Rio: Alright Buster: Yeah it will be, I'm not gonna punch anyone on my way out, like Rio: Good to know Buster: Besides, even if I did, it can't be traced back to you in any way this time so Buster: All good Rio: Don't be a prick Buster: Like you said, I can't act like I ain't Rio: When did I even say that Rio: This conversation is ridiculous Buster: 'Cause you're being ridiculous Rio: Me? Rio: Okay Buster: Yeah you Buster: It ain't me Rio: Blame me all you've gotta Buster: I'd be in good company if I did at least Rio: Shut up Buster: No Rio: Thought you were going for a walk Buster: I am Buster: I can walk and talk just as easy as you can tell me to fuck off if that's what you want Rio: Do what you want Rio: just don't fall in the river and drown Buster: Fuck that Buster: I'm not an idiot Rio: I'm just saying Rio: I'm glad you're so passionately anti-drowning Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: 🙄 I want you to drown now do I? Rio: Jesus Buster, the drama Buster: I've gotta keep up with this fam somehow, all about that competitive streak, you know Rio: Do what you must Rio: Not in the mood for playing Buster: Go back to texting Drew then Buster: 'Cause he ain't Rio: Don't tempt me Buster: Don't use me as your excuse Rio: Fuck off Rio: If I'm gonna get accused then I may as well do it Buster: Fuck you Buster: If you wanna do it, do it, don't act like it's about me Rio: It isn't about you Rio: I desperately wanna ride Drew, ofc Buster: Shut up Rio: Isn't that what you wanna hear? Buster: Don't Rio: Then why are we having this conversation Buster: 'Cause he wants to fuck you and you don't care Buster: Just fucking care about yourself Rio: Whatever, everybody wants to fuck me Rio: I'm everyone's favourite, yeah? Buster: Stop Buster: It's different and you know it Rio: Really Rio: I don't think we should go there Buster: Whatever Rio: Seriously, glass house, stones, not a good idea Buster: What the fuck Rio: You don't see the irony in that at all Buster: Obviously you do Rio: I'm not blind Buster: Say what you wanna fucking say, Rio, you ain't mute either Rio: I've said it but fine Rio: it's alright when it benefits you but now it ain't 'cos it's him Buster: Seriously Buster: Fuck you Buster: How dare you Rio: It needed to be said Rio: there's no world in which I can make a big fuss about this Drew situation and then out us, it isn't going to work Buster: No it didn't Buster: Don't talk to me Rio: Fine

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Where'd you go? You can come back now if you want Buster: Dad's gone Rio: How'd it go? Buster: Better than I reckoned it would Buster: I'm still standing Rio: One of you is losing your touch Rio: but good Buster: He's going soft, obviously Buster: Missed my chance Rio: Unlucky Rio: Comes in threes, yeah? So you've only gotta field off one more Buster: It's the worst one though. I've gotta tell my sister eventually Rio: Yeah Rio: Seriously, good fucking luck Rio: How are you even? Buster: Cheers, babe Buster: Right now I ain't even Buster: Mum reckons I should wait for the DNA Rio: I guess that makes sense Rio: Don't wanna lol jks on it Buster: Exactly Buster: And we both reckon Chlo will behave enough not to tell her before I do so Rio: Yeah? I hope so Buster: Me too Rio: Do you feel a bit better, like Rio: now they know Buster: Yeah Buster: They have that effect Buster: Neither of them are gonna take any bullshit from me or her Rio: Good, you're in safe hands Buster: For real, get yourself a mum who thinks she can do anything Rio: I do Rio: God bless 'em Buster: She was gonna fight me for shouting at you Buster: That's another story, like Rio: Ha, what? Rio: Well, I'd like to see that if she's still offering Buster: Shut up and eat your fruit she's about to deliver in thanks Rio: Ooh, that'll be 🔥 Rio: It's one thing posh people do well, the gift baskets Buster: I'll take your word for it 'cause I ain't getting one Rio: Wait for the babyshower, like Rio: Sorry Buster: Or you could just share with me while I fend for myself here in my hotel suite Rio: You really wanted some room service huh Buster: 'Course Buster: Who can sleep without a mint on their pillow, like? Rio: Idiot Buster: No argument here Rio: That's why you're staying in School, babe Buster: Nah, they need me, I don't need them Buster: I make them look good with my results, babe Rio: Hmm Rio: Take your word on that one Buster: You don't believe me? Rude Buster: I'm such a good student and you know it Rio: Don't make me laugh rn Buster: Actually offended. Don't let the extended absence fool you like, I really love school Buster: Also, I've gotta. You look so cute when you laugh so Rio: Duh, I know you're a 🤓 Rio: Don't need to tell me Rio: Or say that Buster: I know you love a reminder though Rio: 'Course Rio: How long are you staying? Buster: I don't know Buster: How long do you want me to? Rio: Just answer, Buster Buster: I just did Buster: I can't tell you what I don't know Rio: Ugh Rio: Fine Buster: I thought you'd be happy that I'm here Buster: What's wrong? Rio: What's wrong? Really? Buster: Rio, what the fuck? How does it make any difference to what's happening whether I'm there or here Rio: It doesn't Buster: Then why are you getting mad at me for staying? Rio: I'm not Rio: You do what you want Rio: but happy about it would be a stretch Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Do what you've got to do Buster: I literally am, why are you being a bitch about it Rio: Fuck you Rio: I still get time to deal with this myself, and for myself Rio: just because I care about you and making sure you were okay Buster: Fuck you Buster: I've had a shit day, why can't I be happy that we're still in the same fucking country for once instead of just feeling bad about everything Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: Okay this might be happening to you but it isn't all about you Buster: Tell me something I don't fucking know, alright Buster: I've spent the whole day telling everyone else about this Rio: Yeah, me included Buster: And what you're all talked out now are you? Poor you Rio: Seriously, fuck off Buster: Fine Rio: I'm going to go away so you can have Dublin to yourself Buster: Fuck that Buster: I don't want it Buster: Just talk to me Rio: About what Rio: What is there to say Buster: How you feel, what you wanna do, what happens next Buster: any of it Buster: Don't just fucking leave Rio: I feel fantastic, about as good as you no doubt Rio: What happens next is you're going to be a father Rio: so whatever I wanted to do is irrelevant Buster: Stop Buster: No it isn't Buster: Nothing that you want or don't want is irrelevant Buster: I fucking love you Rio: Yeah, it is Rio: it's hard enough doing this now, you said so yourself right Rio: how do you think it'll work when you've got a kid Buster: 'Cause I'll make it work Buster: It's always been hard and we always did it anyway, we still can Rio: If you think this is hard then you have no idea Rio: you're going to have uni and a kid and a social life and somehow find the time to come see me? Rio: I don't think so Buster: Well, I'll prove it then Buster: Wait and see Rio: You'd be better if you moved on Rio: Save yourself the hassle Buster: Don't Rio: I'm serious Buster: So am I Buster: That's such bullshit Rio: You feel that now but once you leave for uni and now this Rio: you're gonna feel different Rio: I know Buster: Don't tell me how I'm gonna feel Buster: You don't know that, you can't Rio: I can guess Rio: You'll meet someone else Buster: Fuck off Buster: I don't wanna meet someone else Buster: Who the fuck are they gonna be? Buster: I want you Rio: I don't know Rio: Someone more like you, smart and whatever Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I'm punching above my weight with you already Rio: So you reckon you can't do any better, yeah? Buster: No I can't, babe Buster: You're perfect, you know Buster: Don't let a shit day make you doubt it Rio: Do you actually mean that or is it something you just say Buster: Of course I mean it Buster: Do you need a list or what? Rio: No, shut up, make me sound conceited Buster: Do you really think I'd still be here, fighting this hard to get you to stay and every fucking thing else, to just chat shit? Rio: I guess not Rio: I just, I don't know Rio: it's a lot Buster: I know Buster: But it's always been a lot, yeah? Buster: I'm not my sister it wouldn't have got this far if I didn't reckon it was worth it Buster: You are Rio: Yeah Rio: I just can't help but keep thinking Rio: how fucking stupid we'd look if we went to the trouble of outing ourselves Rio: and then just got over it Rio: it's so much upheaval and Buster: We don't have to tell anyone Buster: I'd rather have it this way than not at all Rio: But we're already sick of it Rio: I don't know what to do, this is why Buster: I can't answer that for you, babe. I wish I could Buster: You've gotta do what you've gotta do too Buster: You either wanna keep trying or you don't Rio: Of course I do but there's so much more to consider than what I want Buster: Right now, it's all that matters to me though Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: I love you, you know that Buster: I love you too Buster: It can be enough, can't it? Rio: I want it to be Buster: Me too Buster: Not only 'cause I don't have anything else to give you Buster: I want you to be happy, you know Buster: If you can't be with me then you have to move on Rio: Big ask, babe Buster: Yeah well, it's been that kind of day Buster: This isn't gonna work if you're waiting for it to end. I know that's my fault, 'cause I fucked it up before and I can't promise I won't ever again but Rio: Yeah, 'cos my life is so perfect, please Buster: Last I checked you didn't impregnate an actual psycho though Rio: That would be impressive though Buster: Don't make me laugh Buster: I'm trying to be serious and heroic Rio: Aren't you always Buster: You wish Rio: 'Course Buster: Solve all your problems, like Rio: Ha, feel free Rio: Can't offer the same in return but you know Buster: Like you said, big ask Rio: Bit rude Rio: don't point out all my problems like that Buster: I ain't gotta call myself out like that Buster: I know I'm your biggest drama, babe Rio: You reckon? Rio: Not gonna hurt your masculinity by suggesting otherwise Buster: You can't kick me while I'm down Rio: Okay just so we know, that ain't actually flying as an excuse Buster: Come on Buster: Be nice to me Rio: I'm always nice to you Buster: But you could be nicer Buster: Stay with me while I'm here Rio: Babe Rio: I don't know if I can Buster: Why? Rio: Because it's nearly my birthday everyone's going to be all up in my business Buster: Indie'll cover for you Buster: As far as everyone needs to know you're just at the flat chilling or whatever Buster: You're at work too much for them to question that Rio: Why are you so convincing? Buster: 'Cause I'm so selfish Rio: I don't know, maybe I don't need much persuading Buster: I don't mind if you do Buster: I'm tired but I'm not that tired Rio: Surprised you've got any trust left in you though Rio: or you got the trojans like Buster: Not funny Rio: Nah Rio: but honestly Buster: If this is your way of telling me that I'm not a DILF then like Rio: Awkward Buster: Dump me now honestly 'cause that's the biggest lie you've ever told if that's what you're saying Buster: I haven't even had a single sleepless night yet, I look great, cheers Rio: If you're that worried about your beauty sleep I won't come over then Buster: Please Buster: You know you will Rio: You better hope Buster: No need, only gotta wait Buster: Are you at work or what? Rio: No Rio: Just avoiding you Buster: Come over then Rio: Going by keep your enemies closer, are we? Buster: Shut up Rio: I know you wanna make me Buster: I really don't Buster: I want the opposite Rio: Yeah? Buster: I'm not gonna waste a hotel room by being quiet in it and neither are you Rio: Would be a shame Buster: Not to mention all the time we could be spending together too Rio: I just want to forget about all this for a while Buster: I can help you Buster: Just let me Rio: Promise Buster: I swear Buster: I'll make you feel better, just me and you and none of this will even exist for as long as we want Rio: We can do that, yeah Rio: Just one more time Buster: 'Course Buster: It's what I'm good at babe Rio: Can't disagree Buster: You know I need you too Rio: Tell me again Buster: I need you Buster: Right now Rio: Okay, I'll come over Buster: [sends his fancy ass hotel deets] Rio: Of course you are Rio: no premier inns here Buster: Even purgatory doesn't come cheap the way I do it Buster: Down but not out, babe Rio: 🙄 So inspiring Buster: I'm just trying to survive my exile Buster: It's all in the thread count Rio: Sure that's how Napoleon did it, like Buster: I don't have to do anything the way that tiny cunt did it regardless Rio: 😂 Rio: Why are you dissing him Buster: Didn't realise he was a fantasy of yours like Buster: Trying to feel tall, babe? Buster: Still not as small as you I don't reckon Rio: He wrote a good love letter but you know Rio: Only got eyes for Josephine Rio: Gutted 😕 Buster: And I'm the nerdy one, yeah alright Rio: Shut up, had to make history interesting somehow Buster: Better than fantasizing about the teachers, I'll give you that Rio: Oh god no Rio: You'd get it if you saw our history teach, no thank you Buster: Whatever gets you off, babe I'm not judging Rio: You're dumb, he never got that raunchy Rio: Mozart was a freak though 👀 Buster: I see why you bought me that fancy pen now Buster: Which is it, love note or symphony? Rio: 'Course Rio: expect 'em both about the time I get my 💍 yeah Buster: Obviously Buster: Tell me about Mozart then Rio: Boy you don't even wanna know 😂 Rio: 🍑💩 Buster: 😂 Rio: Got us all feeling vanilla Buster: Got me thinking that you're an absolute 🤓 Rio: You love it Buster: Oh do I? Rio: Yeah Rio: Wanting me to talk nerdy to you Rio: I see you Buster: I'm just trying to get an education, make up for the one I'm about to miss Buster: Don't get it twisted Rio: Yeah Rio: Using me for my brains Rio: so believable babe Buster: 'Course Buster: Everyone knows you're a huge swot, like Rio: They'll know you out ya damn mind I know that 😏 Buster: It's how you've got me Buster: I'm not mad about it Rio: Better work on your lines if you're writing me that letter Buster: Don't be rushing me Buster: How long did he spend on his? Rio: Oh he wrote her all the time, and would get mad when she didn't write back often or fast enough Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're making that up Rio: “I have your letters of the 16th and the 21st. There are many days when you don’t write. What do you do, then?” Rio: Direct quote Rio: along with calling her a slut, shit you not, boy was mad Buster: 😒 you wouldn't think it was romantic if I hit you with a double text before you had chance to reply Rio: When my names your last word even though you remarried, then we'll talk Buster: Who else am I putting a 💍 on? Stop playing Buster: His game is weak compared to me Rio: Maybe you'll be feeling the need when I cba to write back Buster: Shut up Buster: You couldn't ignore me if you tried Rio: Sure I could if you were pissing about all over Europe Buster: Been there, done that, babe Rio: 😂 You really gon' compare yourself to Napoleon? Buster: Fuck no Buster: But like, I have traveled extensively, deal with it Buster: Turning heads everywhere I go Rio: Bitch, me too Rio: Not gonna make me jealous on either account Buster: First time for it Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't make that face Rio: Why not Buster: 'Cause I like that you are and how bad you want me Rio: Of course you do Buster: I feel it too, you know Rio: Yeah? Buster: It drives me crazy like Rio: Not giving you much to be jealous about these days Rio: Tragic, honestly Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: You're so hot everyone wants you anyway Rio: Okay, slight overstatement Buster: It's not Buster: Everyone's looking at you when I'm trying not to make it obvious as fuck that I want to Rio: I wouldn't know Rio: Only looking at you, clearly Buster: Well, yeah Rio: That's why this is so shit Buster: One of many reasons Rio: I know you were drunk and everything but Rio: the thought of it still boils my blood Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I literally did push her away earlier in the night, I don't know what happened after Rio: I know Rio: it's not like I even had any right but still Rio: you felt like mine Buster: I am yours Rio: Not all mine now Rio: I have to share with her of all people Buster: We don't know that yet Buster: And you never have to share me with her anyway Rio: you won't get protective and noble over her Rio: that's just for me Buster: I was nearly sick in my mouth at the idea so no Buster: She's never had me like that and she never will Rio: Okay Rio: Good Buster: You're special to me, like it or not and believe it or not Rio: I do believe it and believe me, I do like it Rio: Too much, I don't want someone coming in and taking my place now Buster: I love you. She can't make me stop and neither can anyone else Buster: Nobody's been in your place never mind trying to take it Rio: I love you Buster Rio: Always have, always will 😜 Buster: It's gonna be alright for us, whatever I have to do Buster: I didn't wait years for this for her to ruin it in a night, yeah? Rio: I believe you Rio: Me too Rio: Iwant to be with you Buster: You're all I want Buster: I don't care about America or any of it Rio: Really Buster: I'm still going to uni obviously, but I don't wanna go if it means being further away from you Buster: There are other decent schools that are full of less yanks, like Rio: I'd move there if you wanted but now Rio: Probably not, but you've got plenty decent on your doorstep Buster: Maybe we could still go, we don't know for sure that Chlo's trapped me here Buster: But I don't know, I was thinking about it before this, how far away that is and how much your fam needs you to mother them all Rio: Yeah, I would miss them all Rio: but I'd survive, I can't deal with not being with you any more Buster: But I'm not trying to make you give up things, I'm trying to get us things, you know Rio: I know, if the younger ones were a bit older but Rio: they all still need me right now Buster: Exactly Buster: And I can do what I need to do here Buster: Might actually have to Rio: We'll see Buster: All I know is my mum told me to fight to make sure things I don't want ruined by this bullshit aren't, so that's what I'm gonna do Rio: Solid advice Buster: She was good Buster: Like how I remember from being a kid Buster: Before I turned into this idiot Rio: You'll get it back Rio: Everyone has to have their rebellious 'fuck this family' phase Rio: you'd be weird if you didn't Buster: I have to get it back somehow Buster: Like even Nance knows about how the Chlo thing went down now, that I wasn't like trying to fuck her over or fuck Chlo either so Buster: It's gonna be shit if she has to stick around but we're in the same boat of neither of us wanting her too, right? Rio: Yeah Rio: It'll sting but she knows it wasn't remotely your intention and that it's as shitty for you with added consequences so Buster: I just keep thinking, if someone did that to her, how Chlo played me, it's so fucked Buster: Or if I did that to some girl, you know Rio: It is Rio: I am really fucking sorry it happened to you, you know that Rio: Even if my own petty shit gets in the way sometimes Rio: it was wrong on a lot of levels, like Buster: It wouldn't even matter as much if she recognised that it was but we all know she doesn't and won't Buster: No child should be raised by her, mine or not Rio: Sadly, can't stop her or other cunts breeding Rio: unfortunate Rio: if it is yours, it'll be alright, you'll do right by it, I know Buster: I'm still hoping her parents will step in when they know, not that they can force her to do anything but Rio: Maybe they'll talk sense and she'll listen but yeah Buster: Let's not talk about this anymore Buster: For tonight at least Rio: Fine by me Buster: My final word on it is that I'm sorry for how all this went Buster: My mum has a point, I shouldn't shout at you Buster: I'm not sending you more fruit though Rio: I know you are, I promise I do Rio: Damn, so close Buster: Probably should send my veggie loving sister some crudités or something Buster: I can think of better ways to make it up to you though Rio: Tell me more Rio: not about the raw veg, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Not a kink of yours? Buster: Good to know Rio: I have enjoy sex toys that I don't need to raid the pantry Rio: sacrilege in my household Buster: You're funny Buster: And that is genuinely comforting that I don't have to hit up room service with that kind of request Rio: Oh they've had worse Buster: Sure, from me on previous visits is likely Buster: But I'm 😇 now so Rio: 😒 Rio: without me? Buster: Do you think there's a fancy hotel room in this city I haven't fucked in? Rio: Well don't tell me that Buster: 🤐 Rio: Honestly, why do I gotta get you when you're all reformed 🙄 Buster: 'Cause I only am as far as everyone else is concerned Buster: For you I'd do anything Rio: Interesting Rio: I plan to test that bold claim Buster: I hope you do Buster: Try me as much as you want Rio: I hope you weren't here to rest Buster: 'Course not Buster: I'm here 'cause it's nearly your birthday Rio: Oh yeah Rio: Almost forgot Buster: I'm not gonna let you Rio: Spoil me? Buster: Try and stop me Rio: Nah, it's allowed Rio: Get to be 👸 for one day, like Buster: I don't care if it ain't. It's happening Buster: For all the days I'm here Rio: 'Cos I'm your princess, yeah? Buster: Babe, come on, you're a queen Rio: 😋 You're so cute Buster: You're fucking beautiful Rio: Shh Buster: No Buster: You are Rio: I don't know what to say sometimes you're so Rio: nice Buster: You don't have to say anything, I'm not that competitive, like Rio: I can't say nothing when you got me feeling this good Buster: Just show me how you feel when you get here Rio: Done Buster: Good

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I can hear Nancy crying Buster: Mum and dad are between here and London somewhere Rio: Oh no Rio: I'd leave her to it Rio: I could text her to put out feelers but, she probably won't be ready to talk to anyone Rio: maybe just put a brew on in a few ☕ Buster: Yeah Buster: If I want it thrown at my head Rio: Who's offended by a cup of tea Rio: don't need to offer a digestive and a chat with it, like Buster: Anyone who knows me 'cause when have I ever offered Buster: She's not an idiot Buster: Even if she reckons she can get away with pretending I don't hear her Rio: Alright Rio: probably do pretend then, if that's what she wants Buster: Or just kick the door in, how I want Rio: She'll talk to Junior if there's anything drastic, trust me Rio: they talk about everything Buster: Come over Buster: She'll talk to you Rio: Be a bit suspect, like hey heard you were in your feelings Rio: she wouldn't like to think you're talking about her Buster: Fuck that Buster: Someone needs to Buster: Something's up, obviously Rio: Buster Rio: it's alright Rio: she'll talk about it when she wants to Rio: she's not an idiot, yeah? if it was serious she'd reach out Buster: No she wouldn't Buster: She never does Buster: Come on Rio: Neither would you Rio: but would you be alright if everyone just rolled up on you, even with good intentions Rio: just hang tight, yeah Buster: We aren't talking about me Rio: No but Rio: I've text her, okay Rio: I'll let you know Buster: Will you, or will I have to make you tell me like usual Rio: I'll tell you Rio: We aren't talking about me Buster: Fine Rio: Don't worry, yeah? Buster: I ain't Rio: You are Rio: or why would you be talking to me rn Buster: 'Cause Buster: I knew you'd know what to do Rio: Yeah, well, had enough experience by now Rio: sorry there's not much you can do Buster: Not like she wants me to anyway Buster: So whatever Rio: Be weird if she did on this one Rio: gotta sort that kinda thing yourself Buster: Yeah Buster: Come over then. Not for her Rio: I can't Buster: I can lock my door too, like Buster: She's not gonna see you Rio: You can still hear her though, so she'd hear me Buster: I'll drive us somewhere else then Rio: You've changed your mind then Buster: What? Rio: Now you want to, we're just gonna forget it happened, yeah? Buster: Do you wanna sort this or not? Rio: Yeah Rio: So, tell me what we're doing Buster: I don't know, we'll just find somewhere to go, like Rio: Right, are you planning on talking when we get there or what? Buster: Are you? Rio: I'm trying to talk to you now, like Buster: Like it's rocket science Buster: Do you love me or don't you? Rio: Why do I have to be the one to put myself out there Rio: I said it first before, you know Buster: Yeah? Buster: I didn't know Rio: No Rio: Well, I did Buster: Alright. Did you mean it? Rio: Are you gonna stop if I get it wrong? Buster: Rio Buster: Just tell me the truth Rio: Of course I meant it Buster: Seriously Rio: Please don't take the piss out of me right now Rio: Yes, seriously Buster: I'm not Buster: It's just a headfuck Rio: Trust me, I know Rio: I didn't intend for it to happen Buster: I know, but it did Rio: Sorry about it, like Rio: it isn't ideal for me either really Buster: I never said I was sorry Rio: Didn't need to Rio: literally ran away Rio: get it, like but Buster: Fuck off Buster: I was surprised, don't get offended, like Rio: That's putting it lightly Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Besides the point now Rio: but there you go Buster: It's not Buster: Jesus I'm trying here Rio: You don't have to say anything but Rio: I ain't gonna sit here and pour my heart out for no reason, like Buster: Don't be an idiot Rio: Don't call me an idiot Buster: Don't act like one Buster: I already told you I'm not sorry and I meant what I said Buster: I fucking love you, alright? Rio: I swear to God if you're just saying that 'cos I did.. Buster: Fuck you Buster: I love you Rio: You're such an idiot Rio: but I love you Buster: I must be 'cause I've never said it before and now I've said it Christ knows how many times to you Rio: just the three, if you're worried about your score Rio: you've never said it before? Buster: No Buster: Why would I? Rio: I dunno, thought you would've had at least one proper girlfriend Buster: Shut up Buster: I don't do girlfriends Rio: Should've guessed Rio: not keeping that close an eye on your love life before 😜 Buster: Could've fooled me Buster: You're usually such a know it all Buster: And obsessed with me, like Rio: You shut up Rio: insufferable, honestly Buster: Make me Rio: Are you still coming to get me Rio: 'cos I will Buster: Yeah Buster: I've missed you Rio: Me too Rio: sorry I fucked up your plans Rio: did you still go Buster: Don't Buster: I fucked them up Buster: I nearly called you so many times, I'm sorry Rio: It's alright I wouldn't have even been mad if you didn't Rio: just don't stop talking to me again, okay Rio: whatever you wanna say Buster: I won't Buster: Promise Rio: Good Buster: Let's get a room, yeah? No chance of the Spanish weather but it'll still be hot Rio: Okay 😍 Rio: Did I mention I missed you? Buster: Yeah but say it again Rio: I really fucking missed you Buster: How long do you need to be ready to go? Rio: I want to tell you to come now 'cos I want you Rio: but actually, look a state so Rio: give me half an hour to sort this Buster: I'll be right here Buster: I just promised not to stop chatting to you, like Rio: You're alright 😂 not demanding constant and total attention literal 😉 Rio: but I like it Buster: No takebacks, Cavante. A promise is a promise Buster: If you wanted to dictate terms you should've sooner Rio: Love it when you talk law Rio: such a nerd Buster: Fuck off Buster: You're a nerd Rio: Ha very mature 😂 not to mention how Buster: Well, maybe I wanna go back to when we were kids Buster: Do it all again Rio: Baby Rio: You're so cute Buster: You're beautiful Rio: You're gonna kill me Buster: I haven't even started yet, babe Rio: Yeah? Buster: I'm not just taking you to a hotel for the parallel Buster: We're gonna need that Do Not Disturb sign Rio: You know Rio: especially 'cos I gotta keep telling you how much I missed you and you can't stop chatting Rio: up all night 😏 sorry about it Buster: Especially 'cause I'm gonna fuck you with my tongue until you tell me how me how much you love me Buster: If we're up all night that'll be your fault Rio: 😫 Rio: DADDY Rio: Definitely all your fault but I'll figure out a way to get payback Buster: Yeah? Buster: We'll see Rio: You will Rio: just for you Buster: You spoil me, babe Rio: Only what you deserve Buster: You usually make me earn it Buster: You've really missed me, yeah? Rio: Too much Rio: It ain't even funny how long it felt Buster: I won't laugh at you Buster: Or do that again Rio: I thought that was it Buster: I'm sorry Rio: It ain't so you don't have to be Buster: But I am Buster: I hate when you're upset Rio: I'm happy now Rio: you make me so happy baby Buster: Good Buster: Hearing Nance set me off thinking about you Rio: You're so good Rio: wish you'd let people see Buster: I'm not Buster: But I wanna be for you Rio: Are too Buster: Shut up Buster: Are you ready yet or what? Rio: So impatient Rio: unaccounting for the levels of tragic, moping 'round my house like a teen all over again Buster: You reckon you've seen me impatient, but it'll be nothing compared to when I get you in the car Rio: What I'm secretly hoping for 😈 Buster: Don't keep it secret Buster: I wanna hear all about it Rio: I just wanna feel exactly how hard you've missed me Buster: You will Rio: Don't pull up to the house though, I'll come to the top of the lane Rio: unless you wanna have an improtu catch up with the fam 🙄 Buster: As much as I'd not have to drive this turned on, I'd rather not have them kill the mood for me Rio: honestly Rio: or have to think up a decent excuse why you're even picking me up Buster: I mean, I've already thrown my sister under the bus to start a convo with you, like Rio: I know you care too, babe Rio: At the dangerous point of horny where I basically don't care Rio: sorry lads Rio: you've all seen him, don't act surprised Buster: Keep my secrets, babe Buster: Me too Buster: And it's always gonna be more dangerous for me Rio: 'Course Rio: why's that then? Buster: I know I only have to look at you to see how much you want me but nobody else needs to be in the know whereas anyone can literally see how hard you make me Buster: Playing with unfair odds here, like Rio: Awh baby 😂 Rio: I'd bring it up with God for you but we ain't on speaking terms now Buster: If you wanna talk to yourself don't feel the need to do it on my behalf, babe 😂 Buster: While you're there ask Santa what he's bringing us Rio: Oi Rio: Already shaken my faith don't be cheeky Buster: Answered your prayers you mean Rio: Yeah, obviously, you in a groupchat with my priest or what? Rio: in confessional like, what was that? slow down, gotta type it out Buster: If there's a god you should believe in it's me for how often I can make you cum Buster: He's not making you feel that good, is he Rio: That is blasphemy Rio: as well as unnecessary advice Rio: I'm already there, like Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you know I'll worship you anytime, like Rio: ANY time, yeah? Rio: Good to know Buster: 'Course Buster: Not some fucking amateur that you've fallen for here Rio: Thank God Rio: oops, there I go again Buster: 😏 Buster: I have that effect, he'll understand, forgiving sort so I've heard Rio: Idiot Rio: Better start 🙏 he is Buster: I'd rather wait until I'm with you to get on my knees Buster: More worthwhile, like Rio: 😳 Rio: Not going to complain Rio: you know I only want you to get down on 'em for me really Buster: God's a bit free with his love, ain't he? Not gonna work for me as a jealous type Rio: Well he is love Rio: it's complicated Rio: stick with me Rio: even I ain't that much of a headfuck Buster: 😂 Buster: And I don't need to be in competition for favourite son, cheers Rio: When's the last time YOU died for our sins, babe? Rio: Sort it out Buster: The French call an orgasm a little death so Buster: Died for yours plenty of times Rio: Full of useful information, you 🤓 Rio: so dramatic Rio: the french, and you, like Buster: What can I say? That's the kind of education you've just gotta pay for Buster: And you love it Rio: Investment worth having, clearly 😜 Rio: Maybe Buster: You'll see when I'm investing my 💰💰💰 Buster: Really love me then Rio: Why else would I be here? 😏🙄 Buster: Exactly Rio: More palatable story, lbr Rio: in it for the 💳 duh Buster: Until someone questions why you ain't just with my dad, like Rio: Duh, so loyal Rio: him, not me Buster: 😂 Rio: also not drew about things, like 😬 Buster: At least he's blocked now so I don't have to smash his face in Rio: Seriously Rio: he was so creepy Buster: is Buster: You know he ain't changed just 'cause he's being denied seeing your posts Rio: Nah, 'course Rio: Just think, he was probably pissed at the pub, can't be as bad as I remember it Buster: Babe Buster: Don't start Rio: I don't wanna start drama, that's the thing Buster: Fuck that Buster: You know if he tries to start any more I'll finish it Buster: I swear to you Rio: Well, I'm sure he won't so let's not think about it Buster: Normally I'd argue but all my focus is on you right now anyway Buster: I can't think about anything or anybody else Rio: Not gonna apologise for it Buster: I don't need you to Buster: Just tell me you're ready to be picked up Rio: 👍 Rio: Been ready AGES what you talkin' about Buster: 🙄 Buster: Well, I'm nearly there and I don't see you, babe Rio: 🙊 Rio: Putting my shoes on, honest Buster: 'Course Buster: Anyone would think you'd wanna get us caught or me ending up with a worse fate leaving me and this car hanging around the 24 Rio: Well, if you're gonna be rude about my ends 🖕 Rio: good 🍀 to yas Rio: 😂 Buster: Hilarious Rio: Be nice or I'm not coming out to play Buster: I just complimented your sense of humor Buster: That is nice Rio: Hmm Rio: Say it like you mean it, babe Buster: Come out and I'll be even nicer Buster: I mean that Rio: 🤤 Rio: These shoes are not made for running but I need the height Buster: How far have you got? I'll carry you Rio: SHUT UP I'D DIE Buster: I'm not gonna drop you, baby Buster: You'd be fine Rio: I MEAN I'D MELT STOP Buster: That's not giving me much incentive to stop Rio: I just Rio: how'd you get so cute seriously Buster: Genetics Rio: Nah Rio: I mean, obviously Rio: but how you are Rio: and you've not had a girlfriend, why?? Rio: denying the world Buster: I'm how I am 'cause of you Buster: Shame you can't take the credit, like but Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: also, I see you Buster: Good Buster: Get in the car Rio: If I make you ask one more time do you promise to be extra not nice? Buster: Well, I was about to say please but Rio: Good to know I can push you further baby Buster: Come and do it then Buster: I need you to Rio: 💋

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Nancy

Rio: How's your head? 💀 Nancy: Don't talk to me, like. I can't read and I don't know Nancy: Living that philosophy as I embrace death Rio: 😂 First time embracing the porcelain is it Rio: Babe, you gotta hold on, drunk you was spilling secrets and I need to know if she was chatting shit! Nancy: I mean, I've had some bad 🍣 before I turned full veggie back in the day but this Nancy: Oh god Nancy: OH GOD 😱 please spare me the details....I can't Rio: I wouldn't go there rn babe Rio: not in your weakened state, unless you wanna repeat Rio: S'alright, it was good news! From what I caught Rio: 💕 Nancy: It's so not alright Nancy: Rio, help me, I made everything worse when I came home last night, okay? And I Rio: What did you do? Nothing that can't be sorted I'm sure, everything seems more drastic in the morning but I'll let you know Nancy: No it's really bad Nancy: I sent some texts and I seriously can't even read them Nancy: Drunk + Dyslexic = I can't tell Nancy: What's she gonna think? Nancy: I'll have to move schools again! Sorry mum Rio: Oh honey, we've all done it Rio: sure this mystery girl has herself, no shame Rio: best thing you can do is tell her that you were more than a lil tipsy, laugh it off Rio: she'll think it's funny but you know, not tell the world funny, and problem sorted Rio: did you send 📸s? Nancy: But Nancy: How? Nancy: I can't be like oh hey so I forgot you gave me your number when I first moved here and you probably did too but here's the thing Nancy: Thankfully when I've got a drink in me is the one time I put the camera down Rio: That's good then, not gotta deny they're your tits, like Rio: That's chill, unless you drunkely told her your stalking her, which clearly not Rio: soz wrong number that shit Nancy: JESUS CHRIST SHE IS TYPING Nancy: Murder me Rio: Imma wait 'til I hear what she's gotta say Nancy: I can hear you with the 🍿 from here Nancy: Enjoying yourself? Nancy: 😭 Nancy: Trust me to pick the one person who actually replies to a drunk dial Rio: Hush, been waiting for this day forever Rio: 😏 she likes you Nancy: She likes that I'm openly gay too Nancy: We're outnumbered at school Rio: Omg is it Erin Rio: Yeah she's so down Rio: and she's cute Nancy: That's not her name at all so now I wanna know who you think you have the gay scoop on Nancy: Not just a blatant subject change while I cringe myself to the grave, clearly Rio: Is that not her name? Rio: I forget Rio: Something like that Nancy: She is Irish so a fair guess Nancy: So many Erin's in our year Rio: Init Rio: in form though Nancy: I can't talk about her and to her Nancy: With this hangover, come on Rio: Drink your water and suck it up sugar Rio: Why not? Rio: Whatever her name is, obvs about it Nancy: Maybe but Nancy: no Rio: Don't hurt to have a few on the backburner Rio: and she clearly ain't offended you have 😉 Nancy: I don't want anyone on the backburner, thanks Nancy: If you're not gonna be all in, what's the point? Rio: Then go for it Rio: no? Nancy: she wants to cure me with coffee Nancy: what do I do? Rio: How gay Rio: go go go! Nancy: looking like this? Nancy: she's not right for me but thats just rude Nancy: I don't want her to think I don't think she's gorgeous and cool and Rio: 🙄 Rio: what are you like Rio: put some lipstick on and pull yourself together Rio: you'll be fine, got genetics on your side, like Nancy: so has she Nancy: do you seriously not know who she is? Rio: Not like I been scoping myself Rio: send me her facebook or something Nancy: [Sends it] Nancy: Now do you get it? I can't go Nancy: She looks like she stepped out a music video and I Nancy: doomed from the start lesbian cliches are not how I'm trying to spend my summer Rio: Nah don't be silly Rio: You're gorgeous Rio: She is the one I was thinking of, remember the name now I gotta Rio: then don't be angsting from the sidelines, if that's not what you're about 😜 Rio: Seriously though, it's just coffee, no harm in it Nancy: Yeah? You think? Not like a big mug of me leading her on Nancy: It's not that I don't wanna spend my day in cafes with pretty girls but Nancy: Like I said, if you're not all in, isn't that just time I won't get back Rio: God no, you're not promising shit with a latte and she ain't asking, necessarily Rio: what would you be doing otherwise? Rio: accepting death from your bed Rio: honestly, a date can end with an outcome that ain't a marriage proposal, and it will still be alright Rio: you gays Nancy: I just Nancy: I feel weird about it Nancy: None of this is ideal, you know what I mean Nancy: and I've not had a string of bad dates I can add this to the pile of when I fuck it up Nancy: or any, like Rio: You've got this Rio: Not gonna utter the phrase be yourself but do, like Rio: first time for everything Rio: might even enjoy it Rio: get a caffeine hit if nothing else but honestly, she was alright from what I remember Nancy: as long as I don't irish up my coffee, yeah? Nancy: how embarrassing can I be Rio: 😂 Rio: I don't know how much there is to be said for hair of the dog really so yeah Rio: wouldn't ask the barista that with a wink Rio: slow your roll, gurl Nancy: what did I say? what did I do? Nancy: good lord Rio: I missed some of it Rio: you called your brother out, I remember that much Rio: fashion police 🚨 Nancy: okay that's funny Nancy: saving grace kinda Rio: Knew you'd like that 😏 Rio: might need to ask/apologise to Junie Rio: he looked fairly traumatised so he's probs got the best scoop Nancy: oh Nancy: that'll be why he's not checked in Nancy: scared I might still be drunk Rio: Bless him Rio: your a first ahead of him now, like Nancy: baby boy Nancy: I won't tell him about my non-date then Rio: He'll be happy for you, I'm sure Nancy: What should I wear? I've been extra enough in her inbox without doing it in person Nancy: Genuine question I'm not just doing a girly stress Nancy: I'd ask Mum but she's not in my corner right now Rio: 😬 awks, maybe do irish up your coffee just for the look of the thing #proud Rio: definitely nothing too tryhard but summer's great 'cos dresses are so low-maintenance but always look flattering Rio: go for a maxi since you can tall bitch Nancy: this is a disaster Nancy: im gonna look like a rich girl trying to hang Nancy: whatever I do Rio: Nah Rio: could run over to ours and borrow something if you're really worried but honestly Rio: avoid blatant branding and people never spy Nancy: Tempted as I am to get Billie to bless me Nancy: I don't need everyone asking why I need it Rio: I feel you Rio: Nosy bastards Nancy: There's gonna be enough questions after last night Nancy: next time stop me I beg you Rio: Throw myself on the tequila bomb, got it Nancy: Tequila, was I? Rio: you were warned Rio: s'a killer, babe Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: I'm an idiot Rio: Christ, if you are then there's no hope for the rest of us Rio: it was a party, s'alright to let loose every once and a while Rio: reccommended, in fact Nancy: that's not what I was doing though Nancy: 🙈 Rio: cut that tongue loose Nancy: Rio! 😳 Rio: 😂 Nancy: I know you probably haven't realised when I'm such a pro at keeping secrets, like, but I'm just a big gay mess who's never been kissed Rio: Everyone starts somewhere Rio: it's not as hard as you think it is, trust Rio: you'll be fine when it comes to it Nancy: Yeah, you and my brother! 😞🤒 I know you were young but still can't believe you let him Rio: 🙉 Shh Rio: Don't remind me Nancy: Sorry but it cheers me Nancy: I'll never do anything that awful 😂 drunk or sober Rio: Yeah, reckon if you go there we need to have a bigger, realer talk, babe Rio: no excusing twincest Nancy: ⛔⛔ Nancy: Okay I'm going before you put anything else in my head that I'd need more than a few drinks to get out Nancy: No asking for details 'cause you aren't getting them Rio: 👻 Rio: Spoilsport Rio: Enjoy tho 😘 Nancy: Thanks 🤞

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Bank statement screenshot, his transfer circled] Rio: Is that you??? Buster: What? Rio: Did you transer that money, 'cos it's the amount I told you Ryan owes me, and around the time I told you, so Buster: You aren't ever getting it from that cunt Rio: That doesn't mean you have to foot the bill! Rio: Buster, oh my god Buster: It means he's got less of an excuse to come around though Buster: Worth it for that Rio: You must think I'm so ungrateful, I thought it was from the streams, I didn't clock it 'til now Buster: I didn't do it so you'd be grateful Buster: I have better methods for that, like Rio: Are you sure? Rio: I won't touch it, 'case you change your mind Rio: but thanks Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I don't want it back Rio: It's a lot of money that you don't owe me Buster: Nah Buster: It's like a piece from Nance's summer wardrobe or whatever Rio: I know Rio: and I already raided said wardrobe once, like Buster: Only what she left behind Buster: Nothing she cares about Rio: Still that good shit though Rio: not that I've priced it all up to put on poshmark or anything but you know Buster: Get that sorted for next time Buster: Anything you don't wanna keep yourself that is Buster: 💄 maybe Rio: 'Course Rio: was my colour Buster: Yeah Rio: Now I really owe you, yeah? Buster: Not for that Buster: I'm not trying to buy it, you know Rio: I know Rio: I will think of something though Buster: Good 'cause I can't stop thinking about you Rio: Same Rio: but reversed Rio: not that self-absorbed or feeling this bitch rn Buster: You should Buster: You look fucking good right now Rio: You would say that, perv 😉 Buster: Not sorry Buster: It's true Rio: Too early for truthing Rio: though thanks to all-inclusive i've been off my face nearly this entire time on cheap wine Buster: So what you'd rather a dare? Rio: 😂 Yeah Rio: what kinda of boring bitch picked truth, 'less they wanted to tell all their mates who they fancied Buster: I'm never bored of hearing how much you fancy me, babe Rio: Shut up 😏 Rio: about how mature i feel rn Rio: though glad you've grown, cuter now, like Buster: Are you saying I was an ugly kid? Buster: Bullshit and just rude to be honest Rio: No, just that you've got better with age Rio: don't start with me, accept the compliment like i'm accepting the cash 😜 Buster: Alright Buster: cheers then Rio: Welcome Rio: see, wasn't that nice? Buster: Shut up Buster: I've been nice to you loads of times Rio: I know Rio: I've been the cunt this time, like Buster: You're not Rio: Hmm, jury ain't even out on that one but imma use my time wisely Rio: gonna go straight guv Buster: Don't Buster: You actually would be in danger of being a boring bitch then Buster: And you ain't bad as is, like Rio: Now who's being rude, you don't need to take my place, babe Rio: Idk, undoubtly won't last, hasn't stuck yet, like Rio: sick of feeling like crap and acting or being treated like it Buster: I'm just saying, sin with me first, babe Buster: Do you really feel that bad? I know you didn't want a truth but you can tell me Rio: That doesn't count, I've decided Rio: mostly 'cos I really want to but no one's gonna know so no one can get fucked over, like Rio: Right now, yeah Rio: I didn't wanna go and leave Indie and things are weird between us rn as is Buster: She's alive I've seen the evidence Buster: but yeah I know Buster: Has he contacted you since you got there? Buster: Either he, like Rio: Yeah, I know she'll be alright, made sure but Rio: A few times Buster: And? Rio: Ryan just liking my pictures loving being the reason I'm here having a shit time on my tod Rio: Drew asking when my next shift was, so clearly been to see Indie, Dad of the year Buster: Twat Buster: Do you wanna come home? Rio: That's the thing Rio: not really Rio: Christ 😂 sob story moment Buster: You're allowed Buster: And you don't need my permission anyway, like Rio: I know I did it Rio: but everything is fucked at home rn Buster: Babe you haven't done anything Rio: I must've flirted with Drew too much and too real Rio: then the stupid fucking stream Rio: if Ryan has told anyone and my fam find out or get shit for it Rio: which he definitely will, fuck Rio: could explain the burlesque style of things but that was just fucking porn Rio: no escaping it Buster: Rio Buster: breathe, yeah? Buster: Drew's a grown ass man first of all and sketchy as fuck since he's been around. Indie knows Buster: She's not gonna blame you for him being a fucking perv Buster: And I've told you before, I'll shut Ryan up, 'cause I can and will Rio: Yeah Rio: Okay Rio: I just don't feel like I'm sorting anything from here Rio: 'cos I ain't Rio: I always fix things Buster: Exactly Buster: So let me do it this time Buster: I've got you, alright Rio: but it's not your mess Buster: So? Rio: so Rio: why Buster: So you can focus on having a not shit time Buster: That was the whole idea of you going, remember? Rio: Missed that memo Rio: here's me hiding in shame like Buster: Don't Rio: Try Rio: fuck's sake, do i have to admit i should've let you help from the start Buster: No, but I ain't gonna be mad if you do, obviously Buster: Just tell me what I can do now, yeah? Buster: What do you need? Rio: Don't reckon pride's gonna allow that just yet but then again Rio: gonna ask you to keep me company again though so maybe I can deal if I can admit I need that Rio: alone time's all well and good but feeling really fucking alone, like, nah Rio: not so much Buster: So let me come and keep you company for real Rio: can you? Buster: I wouldn't have said it if I couldn't Buster: I can be there Rio: do you wanna though? Rio: not exactly sold it Buster: Like I said, I'm not trying to buy you Rio: yeah Rio: well, if you did come Rio: i'd be happy about it Buster: Then I'm packing Rio: Buster Buster: What? Rio: Thanks Buster: Let me earn it first, babe Rio: Overachiever Buster: You say that like it's not the best thing to happen to you Rio: 😏 Rio: I ain't mad about it but don't ruin it, boy Buster: You reckon I could? Buster: I know how bad you want me, it'd take more than words Rio: True Rio: can't be bothered to lie about it now Buster: Good Buster: Don't lie to me Rio: I won't Rio: Can't, your annoyingly perceptive, like Buster: Well yeah, got my twin's share too, didn't I? Rio: Mean! Buster: Still true Rio: You don't have to say EVERY true thing just 'cos it is Buster: Not saying it to her, am I, she don't have to handle it Rio: 🙄 Rio: She's doing her best, bless her Rio: like the rest of us Buster: Maybe she should try a bit harder Buster: Like the rest of us Rio: She's changed a lot since she came to my School, you know Buster: Good for her Rio: Just saying Buster: Whatever Rio: Focus on packing Buster: It's done Buster: Not some amateur like Rio: know i don't plan on letting you leave the bed much but Rio: probably pack some outfits, babe Rio: how did you do it that fast Buster: 😏 Buster: I know you're more adventurous than that, babe Buster: Not gonna hide you away in the room when I can fuck you anywhere Rio: i did manage to get a room with a decent balcony, actually Buster: That's a start Rio: how soon can you get here Buster: There's a flight in a few hours then plus the actual time in the air, like Rio: Good Rio: Your 'rents cool? Buster: They could care less Buster: What else is summer for? Buster: Work hard, play hard, basically on our family crest Rio: 👍 Rio: I feel it Buster: Not gonna tell them I'm travelling to fuck you senseless Buster: Probably less approving of that but you know Rio: 😳 Rio: can't have them after me too, like Buster: I'd never let that happen Buster: I'm coming to make things better not worse Rio: You're too good Rio: to me and in general like Rio: got me weak 😩 Buster: You ain't seen nothing yet, babe Buster: Be ready for it Rio: You know I've BEEN ready Buster: Yeah but it's not just talk now, is it? Rio: Never been just talk Rio: unless you packing disappointment for me, like Buster: Shut up Buster: You know everything I've put in this case you'll wanna rip off me Rio: Just don't bill me for your dry cleaning Buster: Like you could afford it Rio: 😤 Rio: my point but don't be so rude Buster: Mine's that we gonna ruin half this Buster: That's why I packed so fast Rio: thank god i packed some decent shit in my own mad dash Rio: no excuse not to be seen with me now Buster: I'm done making excuses, believe me Buster: I don't care what you're wearing I just want to take it off you Rio: I know but I still want you to enjoy the view whilst doing it Buster: You know I will Buster: You're so hot it drives me insane Rio: Yeah Rio: I genuinely reckon when we finally get to fuck my life is gonna feel less shit because i actually feel mental how much i think about it Rio: no pressure 😂 Buster: I perform well under pressure Buster: No worries Rio: so fucking capable Rio: jesus Rio: such a turn on Buster: good Buster: 'cause I swear everything you do gets to me Rio: yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: i'm glad Rio: all i wanna do is turn you on and get you off Buster: It's finally gonna happen Rio: I know, I get to feel it Rio: taste it Buster: fuck I bet you taste so good Rio: you can find out as soon as you get here Rio: already so wet ready for you Buster: Jesus Buster: I need to Rio: make me cum with your tongue before you fuck me Rio: i'll be so hot and tight on your dick Buster: Babe Rio: Yes? 😇 Buster: You're perfect Rio: perfect for you Buster: Yeah Rio: You are for me Rio: I have to have you Buster: You can have me as many times as you want Buster: There's nothing to stop us once this plane ride is over Rio: I intend to Rio: Not gonna be satisfied with just once Rio: waited and wanted too long Buster: I've never agreed with you more Rio: Good thing no one else can ever know, right? Buster: My ego won't agree after I've made you cum more than you ever have but Buster: I'll forgo the brag this once Rio: Realisitcally you already got 'em beat, how many times I've screwed myself and pretended it was you Rio: Brag all you want, just don't put my name down as a reference, like 😂 Buster: Bragging won't feel as good as any of this anyway Buster: You think you like my odds now but just wait until I'm inside you or been eating you out for hours Buster: The competition just won't exist Rio: Fucking hell Rio: my brain won't exist Rio: i need to not think for a while Rio: only think about making you feel as good as you make me Buster: That's all I want too Buster: Fuck it Rio: you've earnt it, daddy Rio: gonna take care of you like you do me Buster: How long until somebody misses you? Buster: I'm not even there yet and I already don't want to leave Rio: Ugh, I took a week so we've got Rio: 3 days left Buster: You don't need to sleep, right? Rio: If I do wake me up by pressing your hard on into my ass Rio: 😍 best way to wake up Buster: Least I can do Rio: what's the most Rio: i want that Buster: You'll have to fall asleep to find out Buster: Depends what you want more, really Buster: 'Cause being awake will be very tempting, like Rio: but but 😖 Rio: i just want you constantly idc Rio: i'm yours for the weekend use me however and whenever you want Buster: You have no idea how many times I've imagined you saying shit like that to me Rio: and i wanted to Rio: had to make sure you did too Buster: Thank Christ we both know now Rio: Now it doesn't have to be all fantasy Rio: I want to do everything you've ever thought about me doing to you, let you do everything you've ever dreamed of Buster: I'm not gonna say no Buster: I'm still waiting to hear all of yours Rio: interrogate me, i'll list 'em off, one for every spank you give me Rio: harder you go harder i will baby Buster: Fucking hell Buster: okay Rio: you want that? Buster: I really want it Rio: Good Rio: it's always made me wet when you tell me what to do and get a lil rough with me Rio: even if it makes me mad too, still want you to push me up against the nearest wall and fuck the shit outta me Buster: I know Rio: Not even ashamed Rio: 'cos I'd rather you knew so you would sometime Buster: Don't be Buster: I'm not ashamed to admit how hard you get me anytime you do what you're told either Rio: get used to it, i wanna do whatever you say right now Rio: sometimes i've gotta ignore you though so you punish me Buster: I don't reckon you can ignore me, even when you need to Rio: True Rio: you're too good Buster: That's what you'll be saying when I let you talk, babe Rio: Buster Buster: You can say my name too Rio: Good, because you're all that's on my mind Rio: byy the time you get here i'm going to need you so bad Buster: I need you so bad now Rio: can i touch myself or do i have to be good and wait Buster: Wait for me Rio: okay daddy Rio: my fingers aren't going to be enough anyway when i'm thinking of your big dick Buster: 3 days won't be enough Rio: i know Rio: we can work it out Buster: promise Rio: promise Rio: i need you Rio: whenever we can Buster: Me too Buster: There's nobody else who comes close to you Rio: 'cos i'm made for you Rio: don't forget Buster: I won't Buster: not after this Buster: I couldn't before, like Rio: I know Rio: we both tried Rio: saw you trying not to look at me when i was failing myself Buster: and I tried to get you to look at me any way I fucking could Rio: You never had to try, trust me Buster: It felt like it, some of the stupid shit I've done Rio: Why am I here? Rio: Can't get any more desperate or stupid, like Buster: Don't say that Rio: Sorry Rio: it's just the truth Rio: you know that was for you Buster: It's not gonna be like that any more Rio: no Rio: if you get me wet then my pussy is yours Rio: i won't ever ddo it again Buster: I won't do that kinda shit to you anymore Buster: New games now, like Rio: Better Buster: Yeah

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Breakfast? Rio: What's on the menu? Buster: All sorts by the looks Buster: I can't take no credit, like, it's all the girl from last night's doing Rio: At least you were honest Rio: but I'll stay here then Buster: At least come and grab a plate for them Buster: There's shit loads Rio: Just save some Rio: I'm not dealing with the second-hand embarrassment of your morning-after Buster: She's not that bad Buster: And she's not staying long Rio: Bit weird Rio: and trust, she'd rather I didn't Buster: Only 'cause you're making it like that Buster: Don't Buster: Come and eat Rio: Was only next door, you know Rio: not dying to put a face to the voice Rio: 😶 Buster: Suit yourself Buster: Not sorry one of us had a good night Buster: And especially that it was me Rio: Fuck off Rio: don't gloat Rio: not room in the bed for 4 Buster: Shame Buster: Plenty of room in here Rio: Shut up or I'll send them down Rio: swarm of locusts would be preferable Buster: Not much of a threat when it solves my problem Buster: Couldn't get rid of this girl any faster myself Rio: thought she weren't that bad Buster: Doesn't mean I want her getting comfortable Buster: You ain't that bad some of the time but still fuck me off Rio: 😂 Rio: Doubt she's bought her toothbrush, babe Buster: She doesn't need to in order to outstay her welcome, believe me Rio: Dickhead Rio: let her finish her breakfast first, at least Buster: why should I? Buster: Didn't ask her to make it and she got what she really came for Rio: She still did though Rio: Roll with the punches, kid Buster: Says you hiding under the bed covers Buster: I already said my thanks Rio: What have I got to thank her for?! Buster: Breakfast, if I've gotta Rio: I see what you're trying to do Rio: but I'm not scaring her off for you Rio: perfectly capable yourself Buster: And you reckon you're the polite one Rio: I didn't fuck her Rio: not my problem, or responsibility Buster: Dramatic Rio: says you Rio: wanting to make this into a full cast production Rio: poor girl Buster: I was just trying to give you some fucking pancakes or whatever Rio: some fucking pancakes Rio: 😂 Buster: Shut up Rio: You're funny Buster: Obviously Buster: Got many talents Rio: Spare me the list Rio: barely opened my eyes here Buster: Coffee's on Rio: 👍 Rio: you owe me bed delivery Buster: Do I have to fetch and carry for them as well? Rio: they aren't awake but waft some fucking pancakes under their noses and they'll love you forever Buster: I don't owe you that big Buster: In fact, you owe me for last night's heroics. Becoming a habit for you, ain't it Rio: Technically, Edie owes you Rio: take it up with her, like Buster: I told you, I didn't do it for her Rio: Reckon it's more of a habit for you to offer up your services then Rio: but fine, what you want? Buster: I'll think about it Rio: You can have a bonus on the cab money Buster: I don't need that Rio: What do you need? Rio: Already know your silverware's stocked Buster: No rush is there, you don't have anywhere to be until this girl leaves Rio: Would be shaming for you and her if we beat her to the door, yeah Rio: up your game Buster: Enjoy your coffee, babe Buster: You know I don't feel shame Rio: Evidently not Buster: You've got it covered for us both though, like Rio: You what? Buster: You can come out now Buster: She's gone Buster: Stop cringing Rio: That's different Rio: Not my shame to own Buster: There's no shame for none of us to own Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Rio: She's walking it rn Buster: Says you Buster: She's going home happy Rio: You let her take a doggy bag? Rio: Thoughtful Buster: Fuck off Rio: Chill Buster: Chill yourself Buster: Back on the judgement this early Rio: I ain't judging her Rio: empathizing Buster: Whatever Buster: Don't compare me to the cunts you hook up with, cheers Rio: How do you know they're cunts Buster: It doesn't take a genius Rio: Fuck off Rio: and I'm being judgy Buster: Not fun being on the receiving end, is it? Rio: Whatever Rio: Didn't call out your taste Buster: Only 'cause you know it's decent Rio: Decent and expensive aren't always mutually exclusive Buster: I know Rio: Made it to Sunday Rio: got any sins to confess? Buster: Not yet Buster: Still early enough Rio: That's the spirit Rio: Just glad I'm going back with both of 'em and nothing too horrific to hide from the parentals Buster: You're welcome Rio: Claiming that win as entirely your own are you? Buster: As good as Buster: What good were you, like Rio: Ha Rio: you'd have found out if I weren't here Rio: welcome from the drama I saved you from, wanker Buster: Yeah yeah Rio: 🙄 Buster: What you doing today besides giving me grief? Rio: Nothing Rio: Just chillin' 'til we leave Rio: what're you up to? Buster: Football Buster: Come and cheer me on if you want, I know you love it Rio: Ha Rio: Idk, is any of your team fit? Buster: Only the captain Rio: Unless you're coming out and this is the love story of the century Rio: shut up Rio: Indie'd be about it though so why not, time to kill Buster: Alright Buster: Try not to let the enthusiasm go to my head Rio: If you wanted a WAG reckon you just let her leave 🤷 Buster: You're really gutted she's gone, aren't you? I'll give you her number Rio: Funny Rio: as if you've got it saved Buster: Fair Buster: Can't deny that Rio: Mhmm Rio: got your number, McKenna Buster: You wish, babe Buster: No need to go that far Rio: Deny it all you want Rio: 1-0 to me Buster: How do you reckon you scored? Rio: Being generous and just counting from the numbers bit Rio: we know there's been plenty more before but don't reckon you was on top of your game so Buster: Always at the top of my game Rio: Good to know Buster: Didn't see that one coming, with all your insider knowledge? Rio: Had my suspicions but consider it a free kick or whatever Buster: 'Course you did Rio: You can't be surprised? Buster: Nothing surprising about you, babe Buster: I know what I'm getting Rio: Fuck off Rio: Call you basic ONE time Rio: let it go 😏 Buster: Who's gonna make me, you? Buster: Like to see it Rio: I know you would Buster: Scaredy-cat Rio: Nah Buster: Sounds like it Rio: Dunno what you're hearing then Rio: Not me Buster: Prove it Rio: Alright Rio: How? Buster: You tell me Buster: You're the one bossing me about like Buster: Thinking you can tell me anything Rio: Clearly love it Rio: Given you the chance to take control and you've chickened out Buster: 'Cause you're not ready for it, babe Rio: You reckon? Buster: I know Buster: Been giving you chances since you got here Rio: You're crazy Buster: You reckon? Rio: not 100% on that one Buster: At least you're admitting that Rio: Only fair Rio: as you went first there Buster: 😇 Rio: Bit late for that 😂 Buster: Stop trying to get me to church, I see you Rio: You need Jesus! Buster: He needs me Buster: I'm good Rio: Sure he wants you on his team Rio: Idiot �� Buster: Who could fill pews faster? Buster: Got girls praying I'll look their way as is Rio: I'm ignoring you now Rio: That's blasphemy and bullshit Buster: Can you? Buster: Good luck Rio: Easy Buster: Go on then Rio: I'm coming down to get food Buster: Need an excuse already Buster: You're shit at this Rio: No, I'm telling you so you vacate Buster: Why would I make it that easy, you've got that covered, so you reckon Buster: I won't even be a distraction like, you're that good at ignoring me, yeah? Rio: I don't need you staring at me Rio: creeper Buster: Just want Rio: Obviously not or I woulda asked you to stay Buster: Obviously you're trying to save face 'cause you couldn't ignore me if you tried Rio: Eurgh Rio: Can't say I didn't try and warn you Rio: I look like hell so enjoy 🖕 Buster: Relax, I'm going Buster: Don't need to see the state of you Rio: Thanks Buster: Purely selfish act Buster: Trying to keep my breakfast down Rio: Changed your tune Buster: She's gone now I can admit it tasted alright Rio: Funny Buster: Accurate Rio: You chat such a load of shite Buster: Should be easy to ignore then Buster: Step your game up, babe Rio: Polite, ain't I Rio: and you're loud, so Buster: More fool you Buster: And none of you are giving me peace & quiet, thanks Rio: You want me to ignore you? Rio: Come tomorrow, wish granted, like Buster: Thank Christ Buster: Can't come soon enough Rio: You and your heroics Rio: Gotta stop offering, like Rio: Learnt your lesson? Buster: I can't help how desperate you are Buster: Gotta sort that yourself Rio: Please Rio: Had it all handled Buster: Nah Buster: You're chatting shite now Rio: Never know now Rio: Hypothetical, init Buster: All I know is you can say please to me next time Rio: Already thinking 'bout the next time Rio: who's desperate? Buster: Gotta Buster: I know what you're like Rio: No gotta about it, boy Buster: Says you Buster: I'm not that cunt Rio: I am? Rio: Charmer Buster: I never said that Buster: I'm just saying I'm not sorry for giving a shit when you come to me needing it Rio: Okay Buster: You sure about that or you wanna take the piss some more? Rio: I weren't Rio: just defending myself Buster: Whatever Rio: It ain't Rio: but you know, IOU Rio: good on my word, whatever you think Buster: Easy to say when I haven't asked for anything yet Rio: Yeah Rio: Try me Buster: When I know what I want, I will Rio: Cool Rio: Know where I am Buster: Yeah

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Is it true? Rio: Whatever could you be talking about, McKenna? Rio: Gis us a clue Buster: Stop playing. My sister and her MILF Rio: Sounds like a porno and suddenly you're back on the scene Rio: Funny that Rio: Why do you have any right to know if it is or isn't? Buster: Shut up Buster: Re-read the part where I said MY sister. There's your answer Rio: Re-read you making any attempt to contact her in the past however how long Rio: Oh wait, you can't Buster: Just tell me, Rio Rio: Would I be making any effort to conceal the answer if it wasn't Rio: Use your brain, Buster Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Don't be getting at me 'cause she ain't been using hers Rio: You think THIS is getting at you? Rio: Tip of the iceberg but what's the point Rio: Cba Buster: What's your fucking point, like? Buster: She's in the doghouse for once, not me Rio: Such a child Rio: Happy about that, are you? Buster: Yeah. Get's the rents off my back Buster: Am I meant to be crying about her not fucking her teacher? Buster: Move onto a new target Rio: For God's sake Rio: its not like that, you should care that your sister is heartbroken Rio: she isn't like you, she experiences human emotions Rio: at least make an attempt at sympathy, fucking hell Buster: There's plenty of younger, hotter lesbians around, she'll be fine Buster: If she could've pulled it off, fair play like, but she didn't Rio: If she wanted that, she would've gone there in the first place Rio: Are you really this dense or just committed to the act, like? Buster: She didn't really want anyone, that's why she went for the teacher who'd never go for her Buster: And her heart ain't proper broke Rio: What qualifies you to make that call? Rio: Have you even spoken to her Rio: She's felt like this about her since she got here, that's years Buster: Tried. She ain't taking my calls Buster: Got more attention that she can handle now Rio: Not everyone's a whore for it Rio: and I'm unsurprised she doesn't wanna talk to you rn Buster: Says you Buster: Don't wanna talk to her either, she's an embarrassment, that's why I'm in your inbox instead Rio: Excuse me Rio: Sure. At least the feeling's mutual then, hooray! Buster: Don't give it out like you're proud of her Rio: I'm not loving it for her, no Rio: but I'm not fucking embarrassed by her Rio: You don't even have to hear the shit said about her or see her struggle so get over yourself Buster: Whatever Buster: I've heard it all before Buster: She moved schools for a reason like Rio: Yeah and you didn't give a shit then Rio: So don't front anything else now Buster: She tell you that, did she? Buster: Don't front that you know me, girl Rio: Your actions speak loud enough Rio: Deal with it Buster: You got me under 24 hour surveillance then yeah? Rio: You wish you were that relevant Buster: You wish you had something better to do that stalk me more like Rio: You're in my inbox Buster: For a legit reason Buster: You're just chatting shit on me Rio: Just 'cause you don't wanna hear it Rio: doesn't mean it ain't legit Buster: I'm here asking Buster: Don't flatter yourself I'd be talking to you otherwise Buster: Haven't even told me how Nance is Rio: If I needed to come to you for flattery, I'd kms Rio: and I did Rio: heartbroken Rio: but you noped that 'cos you're the fucking expert on it Buster: Fuck off Buster: She coming home? Rio: No Rio: She doesn't want to Rio: Think your parents are coming here to see her Rio: If you are really arsed, at all, you should come see her too Buster: More fool her Buster: I'll check my schedule, cheers Rio: Like you said, there's reasons she left Rio: One thing you got right Buster: Like you said, it's been years Buster: She needs to get over it Rio: Being bullied by a load of posh cunts? Rio: Why should she? Rio: She gains nothing from 'getting over' that Rio: just 'cos you thrive from sponging off that scene Buster: It was hardly lord of the flies like Buster: We can't all thrive off hanging round the streets pretending we're poor as fuck, there'd be no room for you Rio: Yeah, as if you have any fucking clue Rio: even if you didn't see and hear what you wanna Rio: its girls, you don't get the dynamic, you're not privy to it Buster: There's nothing to get. She didn't stand up for herself Rio: Mhmm, that's exactly how that works Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Buster: She'll never know she didn't try it Rio: I'm fairly sure she did Rio: Anyway, this is ancient history Rio: she doesn't like you and your friends, boohoo Rio: its done, she's got her own life Buster: Get your own clue Buster: It wasn't me and my friends Buster: Good, don't need her tagging along and cramping my style Rio: They're all good as the same Rio: the female equivalent Rio: and evidently not, challenged already in that department Buster: You're full of shit Buster: You should sort that Rio: You reckon? Rio: I don't need your advice, thanks very much Buster: More fool you Rio: Not from where I'm standing Buster: More fun to look down your nose at me Buster: Whatever Buster: Not here to make friends Rio: You've gotta be kidding me Rio: If your nose was any higher in the air, you'd drown Buster: I've got plenty of reasons to hold my head high Rio: oh, please do regale me, i am so fascinated. Buster: Always trying to get with me Buster: You're as embarrassing as Nance is like Rio: what dream world are you living in? Rio: yeah, really pains not to be one of your favourites Rio: think I'll survive Buster: Survive but not thrive, yeah? Buster: Unlucky, babe Rio: You ain't that special, babe Buster: Says you Buster: Your loss Rio: Yeah you chat real loud but what would you do if I said otherwise? Rio: Freak Buster: You'll never know Buster: Deal with it Rio: Gutting, truly Buster: Yeah I know, you make it well obvious Rio: Only in your warped little mind, McKenna Buster: Keep telling yourself that, Cavante Rio: Don't need to, I'm not the delusional one Rio: but you do you, boo Buster: Well it ain't me, babe Rio: Heard that one before Buster: Should have taught you something then Rio: Don't worry, it did, I'm not waiting around for your infinite wisdom to know men ain't shit Rio: beaten to the punch there, like Buster: Back at you. I already know how crazy girls are Rio: Of course you do Rio: Colour me shook Buster: You'd have to stop knowing it all first like Rio: Ha, and do you think that's very likely? Buster: I know you think it ain't Buster: Reckoning you're clued into everything and everyone's shit Rio: N'awh, don't be salty 'cos I am and I can see through yours Buster: I ain't. I got your number too Buster: Just think it's hilarious you couldn't be more a ma and you ain't got no kids Buster: So middle aged I'm surprised my sister don't fancy you Rio: Fuck off, McKenna Rio: Just 'cos you're still a little boy Rio: isn't it past your bedtime, like? Buster: Glad to go Buster: Someone'll be round to tuck me in regardless Rio: Good, you're boring me Rio: and I didn't ask, just FYI Buster: Course I am Buster: Doesn't mean you weren't dying to know Buster: Later then Rio: Trust me, no one but you is even a little impressed by your conquests Rio: Especially not me, you weirdo Buster: Tell it to the girls forming a line Buster: Go ahead and speak up when you see me around Rio: If I fancied wasting my breath Rio: it'd be to tell them to run, nothing else Rio: Sorry to devastate you like that Buster: Trust me you ain't Buster: Gotta try a little harder to sell it if you want me to buy in Rio: Trust me when I say you'd know if I wanted that Rio: There is no try Buster: Course not Rio: We're not all tryhards, hun Buster: Just you Buster: I've seen you out, girl Buster: I've watched the hustle Buster: Not effortless as you reckon Rio: Why you watching? Buster: Why not? Buster: It's good for a laugh like Rio: Gotta get your kicks somehow, kid Buster: Least I'm up front about it Buster: You're all front Rio: Idk, I've got ass too Rio: Pretty well-proportioned all in all Buster: Hilarious Rio: What's hilarious is you thinking you know the first thing about me Buster: Likewise, babe Rio: Nah Rio: you're up front about it, remember dickhead? Rio: Contradictory too but we'll let that one slide Buster: Keeping up with you, that's all Rio: Good luck with that Rio: on any and all fronts Buster: Don't need luck Buster: Bored, yeah? but you're still here Rio: Manners cost nothing, McKenna Rio: assumedly why you've got no interest Buster: Wasting them as well as your time Buster: You do you Rio: Not talking to myself, am I? Rio: Though the effect is about the same Buster: I never said I was bored, did I? Buster: You're the one pretending you've got somewhere better to be Rio: Using people for your own amusement is par for the course in posh boy life Buster: Yeah Rio: if I was feeling it, I have plenty better candidates for the task, don't take it so personal Buster: The heartbreak catching, is it? Buster: I better watch myself like Rio: You'd need one to break it Rio: and my heart is just fine, tah for the concern Buster: Cheers for the head's up