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itssowholsomicoulddie · 1 year ago

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A couple things. Who is this book even for? Who's the target audience? Because it's not girls like the TV show. (Of course boys and non-binary pals could enjoy it too, but it was marketed for girls.) No woman is going to want to read a story where the only women are stupid, naive, and weak.

Are we supposed to sympathize with Jester? I thought the author must hate him with the way they mutilated his character, but seeing as he's set up to be a "hero", it looks like we're supposed to like him? And, be sad that he died? Like Loki in any Thor movie?

TV show Jester was my favorite. Little girl me saw little boy him doing his best to keep everyone happy, even when it was hard or hurt. That was my role in my family so I related to that a lot. I felt so much kinship with that boy and I loved him. Hearing about everything that was happening in Dragonblade, I was honestly hoping he would die. Isn't that sad? That I would rather have my favorite character cease to exist in cannon than have them go on the way they are?

What was the point of that death? If Gunther had died, it would have made narrative sense. Questions would go unanswered, but at least then other characters would feel bad for ignoring him? Honestly, Jester's parentage is more interesting to me than Gunther's, sorry. But no death makes sense for the narrative. I heard that this was the last chapter and I was shocked. There's so much left unresolved? It feels like we're halfway through a book rather than at the end.

WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?????

A good original character added to established cannon should serve a purpose, fill a gap, or be dynamic enough to pull off not doing anything. Richard doesn't do any of that. He has useful information, but that can't be all. Mentor characters get killed off not just because they're stronger than the protagonist, but because after they've passed on their knowledge, they've served their purpose. Exit stage right. And they should never, ever, take the place of a perfectly good cannon character. I think that's one of the things that bothers me the most. Jane doesn't feel like the protagonist anymore. This is everyone's story but hers.

If they wanted to make Richard likable it wouldn't have been hard to do. He can be arrogant, he can be mysterious, he could even be thirsty I guess, but he can't erase cannon. give him moments of vulnerability. Let him make mistakes, be corrected, and move forward as a better character. It seems like he's better than everyone at everything, including being creepy.

The whole thing feels like a self-insert fanific done wrong. And it's fine if you write, read, or enjoy those stories. It's totally fine, good for you. It's not fine to give the fandom hope for something incredible and canonical, and then butcher all the characters. It's like they didn't even watch the show. It's taking advantage of nostalgia to peddle a weak and wavering Jane and a handsy, disrespectful male lead. It's not okay and it makes me mad.

Dragonblade Deep Dive - Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter twenty

Welcome to the final chapter of this madness (save for an epilogue still to come) and boy is it a doozy. First of all, that MASSIVE SPOILER EVENT has finally happened, and it disappoints in ways I really didn’t think this book had left to offer. Secondly, if you thought the final chapter might actually resolve some things, please leave your expectations at the cut.

Chapter twenty-one – Acts of Courage

We open in Jester’s POV. He’s lurking outside of Magnus’ house, where he can’t hear or see anything. If this were a well-written novel that could have been foreshadowing, but it isn’t so it’s not. Moving on. The door opens and he hides behind it as one of the henchmen appears, very drunk and apparently incredibly stupid as he repeats his task out loud to himself, which is very handy for Jester. He is to saddle up a pony and cart (NOT a horse and wagon, in case you were wondering. And no, that’s not a crucial detail we needed to know). The Henchman (I would say he is privileged to have a name, but it’s ‘Ox’ so, no) stumbles into a laneway beside the house. Jester assumes he is doing some dodgy deal for Magnus, then repeats Ivon’s line about the princess being his duty now and thinks about how he must do what he can to keep her safe until help arrives and that she’s almost certainly in the house at Magnus’ mercy and… follows Ox into the laneway. There’s no logic here but we’re supposed to understand that Jester following Ox is going to help the princess.

The laneway is very messy and cluttered with objects, which doesn’t seem right for someone as possessive and mercenary as Magnus Breech. Instead of being an opportunity to show how years as court jester have made Jester nimble and light-footed, allowing him to be sneaky, this obstacle course is a struggle for him, but it allows him to stay hidden from the drunk Ox (henceforth known as Hugs and Kisses) who is in a yard at the end of the passageway untying a pony (not a horse!). Another man appears from nowhere to see what he’s doing, they talk, the second man helps Hugs with the pony and points out he’s drunk, and gets efficiently knocked out by said drunk. It’s really hard to tell if Ox actually is drunk or if he’s faking, but I think he’s supposed to be drunk for real. Then again that’s a transient state at best in this novel.

Ox picks up the man he just knocked out and carries him over his shoulder to the laneway. Jester searches for a hiding place and finds a pile of musty, stinky, gross damp sacks. He crawls under just in time for Ox to dump the unconscious man right on top.

We join Gunther now, who is shaking so hard he’s almost rendered mute, as his father continues to beat him. Magnus curses him for his fear and Gunther defies him for it, claiming he’s angry not scared. He tries to persuade Magnus that this is not who they are but Magnus strongly disagrees, and tells Gunther that he is of Magnus’ blood, so his parentage now gets even more confusing.

Magnus lays out his plan to Gunther. He has promised to pay Ox a vast sum of money if he kills Lavinia by throwing her off a cliff and making it look like she fell off Dragon. He says Ox will do it for “fear of me and love of gold” so he really knows how to motivate his employees. Gunther is still shaking violently (this is really focused on a lot) as he tries to point out that Ox can’t keep a secret. Magnus says that won’t be a problem because Gunther is going to follow along behind and kill Ox. I’m really starting to question Magnus’ ability to formulate a plan at this point, if he honestly thinks that Gunther will stand back and watch Ox kill Lavinia and then walk up and kill him.

Magnus tells Gunther that they either succeed together or hang together. Well at least someone finally acknowledges that Gunther wasn’t exaggerating about how this situation would probably get him killed. Yay?

Gunther tries to protest and is smacked around some more. Magnus continues to extrapolate, telling Gunther that Lavinia was always meant to die, after Gunther had married her and they had produced an heir. Cuthber was supposed to be killed too so Gunther would be regent until his child came of age. This is a very convoluted plan with lots of room for error.

Magnus tries to “calm his rage” by pacing and punching his own thighs. It’s as strange and awkward as it sounds. He insists that tonight Gunther will leave his “spoilt, comfortable childhood behind.” For those playing along at home, Gunther has been hiding money in his bedroom walls since he was thirteen in expectation of the day he will need to run for his life from the house where his father beats him and he serves as unpaid labour. I think whatever childhood he had ended long ago.

Magnus tells him that tonight he will kill Ox.

Dragon joins Jane and Robert, and is immediately angry at Robert as he can feel Jane’s pain through their psychic link or whatever. Jane tells him it was wolves, and that he should thank Robert for saving her. Blech.

Jane asks about the Princess and Dragon tells her where she is. Both Dragon and Robert want to take Jane back to the castle to have her injuries seen to as they both say she is more important than the princess. Not sure why Robert gets a vote here but Jane overrides them both anyway.

Robert “assists” Jane onto Dragon, and Dragon is briefly annoyed but then realises that Robert is agreeing with him and is mollified. He also mentions Robert’s TEETH, in case you’d forgotten what book we’re reading.

Dragon argues in favour of letting Pepper patch Jane up and Robert agrees again, saying that his hands have (miraculously!) started to mend.

Robert starts giving Dragon orders and call Jane his Dragonblade, which gets Dragon indignant and then confused. It’s worth mentioning at this point that Dragon has been told literally nothing about all of the life-altering information Jane has learned thus far.

Jane overrides them both and tells them they are going to find the princess.

We’re back at the merchant’s house, where Lavinia is less than impressed by the Ox and Pony show. She tells Magnus she would rather walk back to the castle and that Gunther should escort her. Magnus insists that she ride in the cart and Lavinia is quickly distracted by a not* at ALL** important*** pile of canvas in the back of the cart (it’s not even shiny?) and agrees. She reminds Magnus that he and Gunther are to come to the castle tomorrow and sort out the whole misunderstanding. I’m struggling to believe that she’s really this stupid. She offers Magnus her hand so that he can kiss her ring and as he does so she notices that his sleeve is completely soaked through with blood. She comments on it and Magnus sighs, which is apparently Ox’s cue to stuff her into a sack. Magnus tells him to make sure her death looks like she accidentally fell from Dragon.

*definitely not

**not even a little

***nope

Jester is watching all of this from the alleyway, and jumps unseen onto the cart as it passes by. We’re given a long-winded insight into his decision making leading up to jumping in the cart but it’s completely unimportant. The main point is that he’s being Very Brave.

Now he’s on the cart, where he climbs over the canvas. The canvas is mentioned A LOT. If this were a well-written novel that would NOT have been foreshadowing, but it isn’t so it is. He sits behind Ox and deliberates for a seemingly endless amount of time over what to do, if/how to over power him, if to call for the guards at the castle gate as they pass by, wishing he had paid more attention to Jane and Gunther’s training over the years etc. etc. ad nauseum. Ox turns the wagon away from the castle towards the cliffs. It’s a dangerous stretch of road with one corner known locally as “Widow’s Bend”, for the many fatal accidents it has caused. Jester finally decides what to do and it’s… pulling his hat down over Ox’s head? Ugh. Ox has his hand over Lavinia’s mouth to keep her quiet (why didn’t he just thump her over the head? He’s good at that) and she bites him, so he’s doubly distracted.

Lavinia tosses off the sack and sees Jester. The pony freaks out and takes off, Ox and Jester are thrown into the back of the cart but Lavinia remains on the seat. Ox tries to stab Jester with a knife but is thrown out onto the road. Lavinia grabs the reigns and tries to get the pony under control and Jester crawls forwards to help her, holding onto the back of the seat for support (what a good idea). They approach Widow’s Bend and Jester knows they won’t make it. He tells Lavinia they have to jump (another good idea) and they both get ready when Lavinia spots Dragon flying towards them.

Jane has seen the wagon and instructs Dragon to grab hold of it. He swoops down and Robert holds tight onto Jane’s waist (eyeroll). Jane hadn’t even known who was in the cart until they got closer, she was just following her heroic instincts.

Jester sees Dragon coming and tells Lavinia to hold on tight to something (a GRAND idea). Lavinia grabs hold of the bench seat and wraps her arms around it. Jester jumps onto the pile of canvas and holds onto a piece of rope that holds it together (a very, very bad idea).

Dragon grabs the pony and cart as they careen off the road, and funnily enough he’s not particularly slow or gentle about it, so the loose cargo (and the jester holding it) slide right out. Jester lets go of the cloth and tries to grab the cart, but is left with nothing but air.

Jane didn’t see him fall, but she notices his absence when the cart is back on the ground. She tells Robert (the guy she just met who recently escaped from the castle dungeon) to get off Dragon and look after the princess, and she and Dragon race off to find Jester.

They find him and Dragon lands close by. Jester is still alive as Jane runs to him, heck he’s even singing! He’s a mangled and bloodied wreck with some bones protruding, and Jane knows there won’t be any saving him. He asks if Lavinia is safe and Jane says she is thanks to him.

Jester claims he’s a hero, and Jane agrees. She tells him he will have to write a ballad about it.

Incel!Jester makes his move, telling Jane he wrote ballads for her, and she requests to hear one. He sings for her as she watches her friend dying, but this scene is all about Jester. He makes Jane promise that she will find Gunther and keep him safe because of all the blood on Magnus, then he tells her how he wants his funeral arranged (I shit you not). He wants to be cremated on a boat Viking-style with dragon fire because it’s the colour of Jane’s hair. He tells her he would have brushed her hair every day of her life. Jane kisses him as he dies, then starts crying.

End chapter.

Overall Impressions:

UGH.

Last chapter we learnt that Gunther isn’t Magnus’ son, but in this chapter we’re told they’re still blood relations. Is this supposed to absolve everyone who failed to intervene in Gunther’s life because it turns out he IS a Breech after all? Because it doesn’t, just to be clear.

I know the scene between Gunther and Magnus is overshadowed by the end scene but the disturbing undertone of the previous chapter really carries through here. Why, in a chapter called “Acts of Courage” is Gunther’s fear focused on so intently? Jester is off being a man of action while Sir Gunther the Knight quivers and quakes with no reprieve. His reasonable fears have been dismissed by everyone he has shared them with throughout this novel but now that we are seeing how on point his predictions were, the focus is on how terrified he is? We don’t even get to see if he was able to make any difference at all, or how hard he fought to stop his father, or even if the blood dripping from Magnus’ hand is his or Gunther’s. We ALREADY KNOW he’s scared; he’s spent the last twenty chapters explaining WHY he’s scared and if one person had listened to him this whole mess could have been avoided. Instead, everything has imploded, and doubtless Gunther will be blamed and probably called a coward to boot.

ROBERT’S HANDS. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this last chapter but he fought off those wolves with bandaged hands?? Which have already started to heal even though they were only burned THAT AFTERNOON???!!?!?!? Anyway, he sure can’t keep those hands off Jane, which is a detail that really didn’t need to be included full stop, but in this chapter especially.

Robert telling Dragon that Jane is his Dragonblade is really telling of his attitude towards Jane and her autonomy in this whole situation. It should be up to Jane to have that conversation with Dragon when they are able to on their terms, it’s really none of Robert’s business. But of course he can’t let a chance to exert control over Jane pass him by.

Now, about Jester. I found his POV in this chapter frankly exhausting. So much time spent extrapolating all of the things he could/should/would do before he just goes and does the dumbest thing. I’m not sure if all the reasoning was meant to show how intelligent he is and how deeply he thinks everything through, but really it contributed nothing except a higher word count.

His death was meaningless and unnecessary. He didn’t die to save Lavinia, she was already saved, and would still be saved if he had not died. It could be argued that sometimes death is unnecessary and meaningless and that is the point, but I don’t think that applies here. If Jester had just listened to Gunther instead of dismissing his warnings, then this could all have been avoided. But no, better to call him dramatic and then grandstand from his deathbed by making Jane promise to find Gunther and keep him safe. Never mind that Gunther would be safe and Jester would be alive if he’d been just a bit smarter earlier in the day.

The death scene itself was painful to read for all the wrong reasons. He has fallen to his death from some kind of height, his body is destroyed but his lungs and brain are working just fine. He gets to have the “death he deserves”, confessing his feelings to Jane as she cradles his head, singing the ballads he wrote for her, alone with her at last. We see this from Jane’s POV but as usual she is just a passive vessel into which male characters pour their adoration, and we get very little insight into how she actually feels about it. Does she kiss Jester because she realises she loves him, or because she pities him? We don’t know.

Time passed since the start of the novel: day two - night

Mentions of the word gong: 1

Mentions of Robert’s teeth: 1

#jane and the dragon #jatd #dragonblade #dragonblade spoilers #dragonblade deep dive #jester jatd #jester #jane turnkey #gunther jatd #gunther #richard #feel my rage #this is holding back a lot because I don't want to make the author feel too bad #just an appropriate amount of bad #my poor boy

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