#jessicachaffin

[adamwatchesmovies]

Desperados (2020)

Throughout Desperados, I thought “If it does this one thing I know it’s going to do, I promise I’ll give it some credit”. So why am I giving it the lowest score I can? Because the one thing it does “right” is a crumb next to a monolith of unfunny, badly written trash. Everywhere I look, the running time is listed at 105 minutes. That can’t be right. It felt so much longer.

Jobless, romantically desperate Wesley (Nasim Pedrad) is at the end of her rope when her date, Sean (Lamorne Morris), walks away minutes after meeting her. After this catastrophe, she meets Jared (Robbie Amell). He seems like a sure-thing but suddenly ghosts her. Furious, Wesley sends him an essay-long hate-email. That’s when she discovers Jared's just awoken from a coma in Mexico. Wesley and her best friends Brooke (Anna Camp) and Kaylie (Sarah Burns) decide to delete the message from his inbox before he can read it.

It’s a comedy but even so, Wesley immediately establishes herself as too dumb to live. She bombs a job interview so bad you wonder who's the one recovering from a head injury. Despite the fat stack of bills at home, she’s still able to spontaneously travel to Mexico and drag her two friends along. They really must be the greatest BFFs ever to agree to go on this insane mission.

Immediately, you know where everything is headed. Wesley and her pals have to navigate through shenanigans that include accusations of pedophilia, inconvenient nudity, sex toys, a randy dolphin, Mexican jail, a car accident, and more. Meanwhile, you know the Jared thing is doomed. Wesley’s been lying to him non-stop. Even if she pulls off this con, things aren’t going to last. You’re forced to sit and wait for the inevitable, groaning at the lame attempts to make you laugh. You can keep yourself semi-amused by imagining this scenario with the genders reversed. Cast Penn Badgley (or better yet, someone who ISN’T handsome), tweak the soundtrack and you’ve got yourself a thriller.

Desperados is horribly dated. It’s got references to social media, text messaging, and some modern-day references but the characters have been plucked out of a time machine. When Sandra Bullock was still doing this kind of plot she was nabbing “Worst of” awards. It’s even more sexist today, making the female director (LP) and writer (Ellen Rapoport) doubly disappointing.

You want to know the one “good thing”? It’s got to do with Sean. He happens to be in Mexico and bumps into Wesley over and over. Obviously, he and Wesley will wind up together. You hardly ever see a black man with a fair-skinned woman in comedies of this genre. Too bad him tolerating all her red flag-raising eccentricities proves he’s as stupid as she is. 

Desperados deviates so little from the template it guarantees no one will remember it down the line. Thank goodness. It'd be a waste of precious neural connections. (September 26, 2020)

[elizapdushku]

Abby's (2019) #abbys #neilflynn #nataliemorales #jessicachaffin #nelsonfranklin #kimiabehpoornia #leonardouzts #patrickgorman #willgreenberg #joshmalmuth #tvtuesday #tvtuesdays #tvilove #favouritetvseries https://www.instagram.com/p/CW5tsItMpa7/?utm_medium=tumblr

[pagetgram]

Paget Brewster & Jessica Chaffin outside after Comedy Central’s Another Period Premiere Party

@jessicachaffin: @pagetpaget: can't find the fucking lens @anotherperiod party. But I love her. #animals

[babaalexander]

Great Birthday Wishes to Actresses Born on January 5 January Jones Deepika Padukone Diane Keaton Blanca Soto Alana Gordillo Sophie Austin Sade Kimora Young Jenna Rosenow Fabiola Guajardo Jane Wyman (1917-2007) Brooklyn Sudano Pamela Sue Martin Mandip Gill Suzy Amis Joyce Ching Emma Bolger Megan Murphy Jesse Draper Jessica Chaffin Hannah El-Zahed Patrice Fisher Clarine Harp Bailey Borders Jang Seo-hee Soma Laishram Hayley McLaughlin Jan Ployshompoo Beatrice Winde (1924-2004) Kathy DiStefano Gioia Arismendi Mayuko Takata Faralyna Idris #JanuaryJones #DeepikaPadukone #DianeKeaton #BlancaSoto #AlanaGordillo #SophieAustin #SadeKimoraYoung #JennaRosenow #FabiolaGuajardo #BrooklynSudano #PamelaSueMartin #MandipGill #SuzyAmis #JoyceChing #EmmaBolger #MeganMurphy #JesseDraper #JessicaChaffin #HannahElZahed #PatriceFisher #ClarineHarp #BaileyBorders #JangSeohee #SomaLaishram #HayleyMcLaughlin #JanPloyshompoo #KathyDiStefano #GioiaArismendi #MayukoTakata #FaralynaIdris

[atmidnightfmk]

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Paul Feig, Jessica Chaffin, Jamie Denbo

Kill @paulfeig​, Marry @jessicachaffin, Fuck @jamiedenbo 

OMG guys, we are so close to being caught up. CAN YOU FEEL IT? CAN YOU FEEL THE CAUGHTUPEDNESS COMING TOWARDS YOU LIKE A GLISTENING SILVER WAVE?