#jess mariano imagine angst

[munsonsfairy]

nephew with emotionally unavailable parents 🤝 uncle who feels the need to take care of said nephew

[scarlet4rose]

possesive/obsessed jess mariano? where jess is so inlove with the reader that he stalks her and follows her everywhere idk

hmmmm alright, I'll try

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obsessed with you, Jess x reader

..༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚.

° you spent your whole life in Stars Hollow. every day was the same. until the day jess mariano came to town

° you noticed him right away, but he had a bad reputation from the beginning and everyone around you told you to stay away from him. so you did.

° but what you didn't know was that you had caught his eye as much as he had caught yours. and he had no intention of staying away from you.

° every morning you would walk past luke's diner on your way to school. as soon as jess had figured this out, he kept an eye out for you every morning to see when you would walk past the window. he wrote down the time you would usually walk past and would be looking at the clock every few minutes, not being able to concentrate on his work whatsoever.

° he would also voluntarily go to school just to see you there

° he breaks into the school at night and goes through the principal's office looking for your student file and schedule.

° he memorizes your schedule and waits for you after every class. but you just smile at him and continue to ignore him.

° you drive him crazy, but on the outside he tries to remain as cool and unaffected as possible

° one day he sees you kneeling down to a boy after a fight in the schoolyard and worrying about his well-being. his heart stops. he thinks he has a genius idea

° a few days later, he deliberately insults some random boy. he makes sure you're close by and can see everything. he starts a fight with him, but after a while he doesn't fight back at all and lets himself be hit again and again. when it's all over, Jess's face is all bloody and he purposely remains lying on the ground. he waits a bit. and then there you are

° you bend down to him, your face shocked, you put your hand over your mouth. Jess can see your hand shaking. all because of him.

° you help him up and walk him to the school nurse. Jess doesn't even feel that bad, but he still leans on you when he walks just to be closer to you.

° the nurse is taking care of Jess. you're about to leave when Jess starts moaning in pain and is totally exaggerating, at which point the nurse decides to tell you to stay and wants you to take him home.

° you reluctantly agree and stay by his side. Jess makes every effort to keep from smiling.

°when you walk him home, he thanks you every few seconds. when he notices that you blush in response, he continues and showers you with compliments, which you dismiss slightly embarrassed. after all, you're still trying to stay away from him, as everyone around you has been telling you to do.

° you take him up to his room and lay him down on his bed. you look around a bit, then Jess gets his camera, which had been lying on his bedside table, and takes a photo of you out of the blue. you in his room! for him, it's like a dream come true, a moment he has to capture. you're absolutely shocked and set him straight. "Jess, what the hell are you doing?" jess just grins "did you just swear? did I just make miss perfect swear?"

° you get a bit shy: "I'm not as perfect as you think". Jess' heart starts pounding. you're so damn cute to him, he can hardly stand it.

° Jess is running out of excuses to keep you in his room. he makes you get a glass of water. and then some ice. and then a second blanket from the closet. he doesn't want you to leave, but you're starting to feel silly ;) and say you have to go back to school. Jess can't do anything but watch you go.

° the next day he has the photo of you in his room developed and hangs it on his wall

° Luke notices the photo and asks his nephew how he knows 'this girl'. Jess just smiles and says 'this girl' will soon be his girlfriend.

very soon.

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the end ;)

[xdivyxd]

Hi fellow Tumblr users I'm Ivy, i go by they/she <3

I write gn!reader, requests are always open :)

My chemical romance, Taylor Swift, the Marauders, mcu (phases 1-3), Gilmore girls, dead poets society, grey's anatomy and more :)

Feel free to request other people and if i know then I'll try my best xD

[teddypickerry]

hii bb!! love ur stories sm

do u think u could do a angst jess mariano imagine where the reader is in a relationship with someone else and jess get really upset and jealous and ends up confessing his love to the reader x.🤍

𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐄 !

pairings! — jess mariano x fem reader

warnings! — cheating (kind of), cursing (…LMFAO), lowk jess being a fluffy bitch so watch out

a/n! — this is kinda out of character for jess imo??? BUTTTT I LOVED WRITING IT. i love this idea + jess just being a fucking lovebot. i want to kiss his face (if you can’t tell from the picture)

THE TEENAGE BOY sat on the steps of the Stars Hollow gazebo, his eyes locked on his best friend laughing with another guy across the town square. They were both drinking coffee and seemed lost in their own world, completely oblivious to Jess's presence. He'd known you'd been seeing a guy for a few weeks now. But anytime he'd ask about him, you would change the subject. Jess was doubting himself at this point. Why would his best friend lie about her very own boyfriend to him?

It was a few days later that Jess was finally blessed with his presence — Daniel was his name, a pretty boring name for the burnout that he was. He wasn't anything special to Jess. Just a tall guy with greasy hair and a shitty sense of humor. To you, he was a good time. Something that most of the Stars Hollow residents lacked.

Friday afternoon marked four weeks since Daniel first locked eyes on you, vowing to his friends that he was gonna win you over. He wrote his number on a cigarette that he offered you which was quite the distinctive ask out. Ever since the boy had entered your life the other boy in your life, your best friend (the asshole + idiot) Jess Mariano, had been a bit slaggish. It wasn't that he was rude to you outright but he seemed uninterested and... different.

You finished your afternoon of homework by replacing your jeans with a pair of comfortable shorts, awaiting a much needed night in. A knock on the door kickstarted your heart a bit, not expecting anyone until later (the takeout guy and your friend Rory, who are not the same person). When you opened the door, revealing an intense Jess. He didn't say a word as he sunk into his jean jacket in the cold weather. You stepped aside to let him in, the worried look on his face enough to suffice as an excuse to let him in. Despite his asshole attitude the past few weeks. "What's going on?" Your voice was hesitant, unsure of the possibilities of Jess's ulterior mood.

"It's... it's Daniel. I don't fucking trust him," he muttered like it was nothing making you sigh. "I can't explain why, I just... I dunno. He looks at you like a freak and I don't think he's good for you." He admitted straightforward whole fumbling with his pockets. It was a rare sight to see Jess anything less than... how do I put this lightly? A cynical, judgmental, cocky bastard. 

So this was a sight to see. He was confident in his words but an internal conflict was dragging him down revealing an inner mood. "What are you.." Your voice trailed off in pure confusion. Reminiscent on the idea that this is why Jess has been so on edge lately. "Where are you even getting this from?" A stern look took over your face.

"Listen to me, Y/N. Something's off about this guy. Everyone can see it." Jess snapped before he sighed and attempted to calm himself down. He didn't want to get angry at you, that was the last resort actually. "What if we just followed him? Just for one day? We would find something-"

"What the hell? No!" You interjected in genuine question if your best friend had gone mad. "Can you stop accusing him of being a dick? Does this get you off?"

The two had gone silent as they both swallowed your words. There was a hint of regret on your behalf even though Jess was showing signs of insanity. He stepped forward, his hand placing a gentle hold on your arm. He was desperate and it showed. "I'm telling you, something's wrong with that guy. I can't tell you why... or how, I just feel it. Believe me, please. For me?"

You contemplated his words for a moment before looking him in the eye directly. Now or never. "Is it that or something else?" You hushed, a hasty breath releasing. "What do you..." His voice was soft, which you'd never experienced from Jess. He tried to sound curious and failed miserably when he took a deep breath.

Another silence fell over the two when she tried to decipher what he was thinking. She had no idea which route to take. "Are you upset that we don't see each-other anymore? I know I've been distant lately but you can't just put the blame on Danny, Jess."

Safe route.

His hand ran down her forearm to play with her fingers unintentionally. Jess was silent which showcased his answer. You were right and he didn't want to admit how much that affected him, or how much that was apart of the problem. He also half expected you to say something else but realized how idiotic that thought was. "It's true... but only because I care about you. I don't want you to get hurt or whatever... you know?" Once again, safe route. Or as I would say... bullshit.

"Are you sure about that?" Your voice came just below a whisper hardly enough for either of you to hear. His face seemed to harden at the accusation he wanted you to believe him. "Can't you just believe the 'I miss you' lame thing?" He attempted to joke with a straight face. You didn't budge and let out a soft breath before glancing away. "What do you want me to tell you, Y/N?" Jess's voice raised into a heavier tone seemingly upset with his best friend's lack of belief.

"That you love me," you uttered even shocking yourself. Jess quite literally couldn't believe his ears. He didn't waste anytime to do the thing he couldn't stop thinking about anytime he saw you. Jess stepped forward with your faces nearly touching. "I do love you."

Now was your opportunity to not waste any time. You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. A sudden surprise for Jess, which he obviously appreciated. The short but passionate kiss was ended with a soft breath, only for him make an attempt to take the lead. He took a deep breath and pulled you back into him. A deeper and more intense kiss coming over the both of you. You were soft and sweet in his arms that were now tangling around you. Due to dire need of oxygen (sadly) your lips were pulled apart. The elephant in the room needed to be addressed and no I'm not talking about your dad's elephant hat. "What are you gonna tell the asshole?"

"Jess," You warned teasingly being brought out of your trance. "That I'm the asshole. I shouldn't have stringed him along like this. I know we weren't exclusive or anything but... I feel really bad. Because I've been in love with my best friend for a long fucking time."

Jess had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from kissing you again. A new addiction of his has occurred and they were called your lips. This conversation was heavy on your heart, you needed his advice rather than his spit. "How do you think he'll react?"

"Well how would you react?" You scoffed before pressing your head against the wall. "He'll take it out on me, not you. I'm sure." This was the time Jess realized this situation would have consequences to be dealt with. Something he was never too fond of. He liked living life his way, not with a barrier. The thought of Daniel being pissed at you made him want to knock him out, which to be fair is something he's wanted to do for a long time. Jess pressed his lips to your cheek softly, in an attempt of comfort. A sweeter Jess was something you'd never seen. But you weren't arguing.

"I'll talk to him if you want... I promise to call him Daniel and not Dickwad." Jess teased with his nose pressed to the side of your face. You giggled before turning towards him. "That might not be the best idea since I just spent my evening confessing my love to you."

"Fair enough." Now was his turn to laugh shining his crooked grin you were so fond of. "I'll wait outside with a crowbar for him and a kiss for you." Jess's joke made you playfully roll his eyes before leaning in for a soft kiss. You wanted to take in as much as this moment as possible. It was still unbelievable. "I'm yours, I'll be there for whatever you need. Like your own personal Bosley?"

"Does that make me your angel?" You teased while he replied with his lips touching yours for the seventh millionth time that evening. But you knew you'd never get sick of this feeling. Neither of you could bare to hold back as you fell deeper into the kiss. When you finally pulled apart he was full of energy and adrenaline. He could run a marathon screaming about how he was kissing the girl he loved loudly. He wanted to know how you felt about him too. "Tell me I'm the only one for you," He whispered intensely. Jess's look was pure fire as he intensely looked into your eyes.

"I love you, Jess Mariano. Only you."

"Good. Now let's watch Detroit Rock City."

"Hey!"

[reidshearts]

-‘๑’-favourite stories

more here!!

FLUFF

these fics @borntobewondering

partners in crime - luke castellan @mischiefmoons

a kiss - , remus lupin @forourmoons

single dad! jess mariano series - @teddypickerry

prettiest girl at hogwarts , remus lupin @kitkathockey

the wrong reid , spencer reid- @thyme-in-a-bubble

patch me up? always , spencer reid- @weird-is-life

hot , remus lupin- @forourmoons

perfect present , singledad! steve harrinton @magicchai

the y/n l/n? , spencer reid- @radiant-reid

coffee lover , remus lupin - @masivechaos

whispers of the wind , neteyam - @amberlills

‘cause i love you two , spencer reid @ddejavvu

pedro pascal x actress! reader @papipascalforme-hello

we cant be friends (wait for your love) - aaron hotchner @cerisereids

ANGST

kiss of life - luke castellan @sunsburns

out of time , platonic bau team @ncis-cm-hp-sherlock-imagines

my love , luke castellan @7s3ven

lovelorn , luke castellan @lixzey

[leossmoonn]

hii!! can you do a jess mariano angst imagine? where he gets jealous because the reader is dating someone else and he ends up confessing his love to her x

Lowk ik I said I wouldn’t write for gilmore girls but we all know I can’t make decisions and this isn’t a nsfw ask (which ik this is silly, but thank the heavens 😭) so, yeah! I’ll try and write it. I’ve been so busy and honestly writing isn’t my main hobby anymore, but I’ll try to write this!!

[darthkruge]

Hi! So I've been reading a lot of you stuff, and it's great! And I was wondering if you could do a Jess Mariano x reader where the reader helps Jess get over Rory. And Jess realizes that he's already in love with the reader? If not, it's fine.

Thank you!!

Summary: Everyday since Jess and Rory broke up, Jess has gone to sit on the bridge. Everyday, you join him and sit together until, one day, he breaks the silence. 

Warnings: Language, this is kinda angsty. Like it ends on a positive note because you know he realizes he loves the Reader but like this isn’t intense fluff. 

Words: 1.3k

A/N: Thank you!! And yes of course, I hope you like this! Also, your request was so sweet and polite, I really appreciate that :). I know that this doesn’t strictly stick to canon, but I thought this made more sense. Moreover, I just love writing Gilmore Girls when it’s set in Stars Hollow. Anyway, I hope all that’s okay  <3

Oh one more thing! I’m really tired rn and I formatted this super rushed so if something’s off or I forgot something...whoops 

(gif not mine)

It had been a month since Rory broke his heart. Jess Mariano still visited the bridge everyday, sitting there, legs hanging over the water, disposition more solemn than you’ve ever seen. You hated seeing him like this-- his light, sarcastic remarks had become cruel and acerbic. Some days, you barely recognized him. Despite this, he was still your best friend and you knew that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t give up on you either. 

Lost in thought, you allowed your legs to subconsciously carry you to the bridge, as they did every other night. Jess was illuminated by the moon, the cold, Connecticut air ruffling through his hair. You came and wordlessly sat next to him, something he’d grown to expect. 

Every time started the same. You’d sit down and just be there with him, keeping him in silent company for the first fifteen minutes. He could talk if he wanted to but almost never did. Sometimes, he’d take your hand and play with your fingers. Sometimes, he’d notice you were cold and wrap his jacket around you. Sometimes, your eyes would briefly meet and you’d give him a reassuring smile.

Then, you always asked if he wanted to talk about it. Usually he’d just shake his head. Occasionally, he’d complain about her, saying he deserved better and that she was a terrible girlfriend. Occasionally, he’d complain about himself, asking why he was so broken that he had to fuck up the one good relationship he’d ever been in. He never cried. At least, not in front of you. 

Expecting the same as every prior encounter, you walked up and sat next to him. 

“Hi,” He greeted, catching you off guard.

You made sure to scale back your reaction, not wanting to scare him off with a huge response. “Hey.”

Jess wordlessly got up and held a hand out to you. Taking it, you allowed him to stand you up and pull you into his chest. He buried his face in your neck, tears running down his cheeks. As sobs were pulled from his body, you gently rocked him back and forth, trying to pour every ounce of comfort you had into him. 

Eventually, Jess pulled back and, without meeting your gaze, returned and sat down on the bridge. You followed. You took a risk, opting to rub your hand up and down his back, letting him know you were still here and encouraging him to share, if needed. 

“Why do you still come here?”

You looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Why do you still come here?” He repeated, finally meeting your eyes. “All I do is sit here, silently. So why do you still come here? I know you have shit you could be doing”

“Because you’re my best friend. Because you’re in pain. Because you have a tendency to shut the entire world out and I’m not going to let you plunge into darkness.”

“I just don’t understand how it all got so fucked up. It was fine! Rory and I were fine! And then it all just got screwed up and now I’m here and she’s gone and it’ll never be the same again!” His voice broke, anger and pain evident in his voice.

“Hey!” You said, voice strong. “You’re going to be alright, Jess. I know you loved her, I know. But your life isn’t over just because she isn’t in it anymore. Please, you know how much she meant to you, but you have to start looking forward. You’ll never get past this if you keep clinging onto what could have been.”

“Fuck, I know that! I do! I just- I really thought we would work out, you know?”

Your gaze softened. Jess wasn’t always the easiest to talk to but pretty much no one ever saw this level of vulnerability with him. As he spoke, he realized this, too. He was never more honest, more open, than when he was with you. 

“I know you did. I thought you would, too.” It killed you to not scream ‘I’m right here!’ as he talked about his failed relationship. But you wouldn’t do that to him right now. He needed a friend, not someone dumping all these romantic feelings on him. Besides, you’d grown accustomed to swallowing your feelings for him. You realized long ago that he’d never like you back and you much preferred to have him in your life, even as only a friend, than lose him altogether. 

Jess and you slipped back into that silence you were so accustomed to. He thought about the last month, about what a shit friend he’d been to you. He was beating himself up mentally, stuck in this unhealthy spiral. He knew you didn’t deserve it but he felt like if he pushed you away, you’d be better off. Further, he was trying to punish himself; isolating from you was the most painful consequence of all. 

He took a breath, the gravity of everything settling on him. He realized how good you’ve been, how you’d sacrificed countless hours to simply keep him company. How you spent your energy ensuring he didn’t let himself drown completely. How he could turn to you always. How you were the kindest person he’d ever met. How you were the only person he’d allowed himself to trust on an emotional level. How your displays of affection made him feel safe. How you respected his boundaries and never forced him to talk about anything. How you just understood. 

Shit, He thought, I’m fucking in love with Y/N.

Instead of telling you that, Jess started off by breaking the silence one more by thanking you.

“For what?” You wondered.

“Everything. I dunno, being you, I guess.” You looked at him quizzically, lips threatening to curl into a laugh and his inability to convey his thoughts. 

“Just accept the ‘thank you’ alright?” Jess continued, defensively. 

“You’re welcome.” Despite your smirk, your words were sincere. It truly did mean a lot to you that he’d come to you. 

Somehow, this boy continued to surprise you. Suddenly, his lips were on yours and, being stunned, you froze. Jess pulled back immediately, an apology written all over his face. Before he could get it out, though, it was like your brain started working again and you pulled him back in. He smiled into the kiss, a relieved sigh passing through the both of you. You could hardly believe this was happening but you weren’t going to question it, it’s all you’ve wanted for so long. 

Your heart was racing as you pulled away. You looked at him, no idea what comes next. 

“I think I’m in love with you, Y/N”

Your mind went blank. Even though you had no idea what was going to happen after the kiss, you hadn’t even entertained the notion of him being in love with you.  

You scrambled to find something to say but he cut you off. “It’s alright, you don’t need to respond. I just, I wanted you to know. I think that I was too stupid to realize it before, I mean I was so obsessed with trying to figure out what went wrong with Rory. I didn’t even think about moving on and then I guess we were talking and I realized…”

He trailed off but you knew the meaning of his pauses. Collecting yourself, you decided it was your turn to say something. “I think I’m in love with you, too. Actually, I know I’m in love with you. And I have been for a really long time, I just didn’t want to mess everything up. I love our friendship, I don’t want to lose you if we start dating and something happens.”

“You won’t. Nothing’s gonna happen.” He said it with such certainty, you couldn’t help yourself. You believed him.

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@serpntines

[bellasweetwriting]

Memories

Jess Mariano x f.Reader

(not my gif)

masterlist

requests:  “omg please please PLEASE do a jess mariano x reader with the enemies to lovers prompt that says “ive accepted my feelings now accept yours” i can’t remember the number lol but hope that helps!” -- holiwould

“ okay bet. jess mariano x reader except the reader feels like jess is kinda slipping out of control and away from her and she can’t keep fixing his mistakes and they maybe break up or something? idk ab the ending that up to you ” - holiwould

note: this is a mix between the two requests, the song Miss You by Louis Tomlinson, and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars. If you haven’t heard them listen to them while you read

warnings: yelling, some trauma, most angst, kissing

word count: 2,3k

He was staring at your picture. Your hair was a little bit shorter than it is now. You were wearing this wine tone of lipstick that the employee of Sephora recommended to you. He remembered that time you kissed his cheek as he said goodbye just for him to walk six blocks with your lips marked on his face,

Damn, he missed you.

He missed your laughter, your suggestions for movie nights that always involved either Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling. So much you loved them, and he knew that; he was jealous of them even.

Could he drink his memories away? Damn it, he needed to erase you from his thoughts. Everything reminded him of you. Every song on the radio was about you. 

His pride, his ego, his arrogance, caused you to walk away from him the moment he needed you the most. 

"Jess!" You exclaimed as he lifted you up and threw you to the pool, jumping next. "Why did you do that?"

You were both staying at Jess's friend's house after a celebration party for your new book, which was just published. You and Jess went outside to the backyard and walked around the swimming pool when he decided it would be funny to throw you to the water. 

After seeing you battle to get to the surface, he jumped too, holding his laughter until his head was above the water, staring at you with a big cocky smile. 

You threw water and him while you took off your favorite shirt since you didn't want the chemicals of the pool to ruin it. You left it by the side of the swimming pool where just a few seconds ago you were standing unaware that you would end up in the water.

Jess glanced at you, not being able to ignore that your shirt was gone and your bra was visible. He smiled foolishly, not being able to help it. 

"Stop looking at me, you horn dog," you exclaimed laughing, as you splashed him, Jess tossing water back at you. "Was this your master plan? To throw me to the pool in the middle of the night and froze me to death just to see my underwear?" He laughed even louder, and you couldn't help to join him, letting out a giggle. "You have no game, Mariano."

"You look just so darn cute when you are mad, Y/N," he said with that tone of his. His deep voice stumbled in your brain as you sat down on the edge of the swimming pool. He swam quickly in your direction, impulsing himself out of the water and sitting next to her. "Did the cold pass?"

"No, I'm just trying a new blue tone in my lips. Does it suit me?" You sarcastically asked as he stretched his arm and grabbed his jean jacket, covering your shoulders with it. "Oh, what a gentleman. Is this your new move, because I'm falling for it. I want you, I need you. Oh, baby, oh, baby." Jess chuckled as you simply rolled your eyes, putting on Jess's jacket correctly. "Aren't you cold, Cry-Baby Walker?" 

"I've been worst. Those cold nights in New York City, only covered by a blanket and the constant screaming of the adults in the room at the end of the hall, were the coldest nights and roughest nights," he murmured before looking at you. You were shooked as you listened to him, but soonly upset when he started laughing. "You sometimes say a joke and never know if it is trauma until you see the look on people's faces."

"Asshole," you mumbled.

"Pretty," he replied, making you look at him. He slowly leaned in until he was close to your lips before whispering next to them, "I know a way to warm up." And with that, he kissed you gently, running his fingers through your wet hair, instantly warming you up.

"Hey, Jess!" Yelled some guy, grabbing the guy's attention.

Suddenly, he wasn't at that swimming pool anymore. He was at the bar again, filled with these stupid friends he made in this new city. If you saw him right now, you wouldn't even recognize him.

He was wearing a leather jacket and some old jeans, with an edition of The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand on his pocket, a book he wasn't able to finish yet. He had in his hands your photograph next to that old vintage restaurant three blocks away from where you work. You described it as that colorful coffee shop with strawberry smoothies and a cute place to read a book or spend time with people you care about.

"Mariano," his friend called him again, appearing with two glasses of beer and sitting next to the writer. "What are you doing crying over here? We are having a party in your honor, man. It is not an everyday thing that your books get a review on the Washington Post, and make it to the Best-Sellers list. What's up with you?"

"Today is her birthday." His friend looked at him, confused. The clock had just marked midnight. "It's her birthday, and I'm in fucking New York City, getting drunk with people I met three weeks ago and staring at a picture that was taken a year ago."

No matter what this strange guy that he calls friend just to lie at himself to hide that he is, in reality, alone would say. He missed you.

"Don't make so much noise, Mariano!" You yelled at him in a whisper, both of you watching their steps as they enter his apartment. "Your neighbors are trying to sleep."

"I feel so sorry for them already," was the reply you got from Jess as he closed the door behind him and started kissing you, leading your way to the couch. "Who could say that I would be making out little Y/N someday?"

"Did you just call me «little Y/N»?" You questioned, laughing between kisses. "Hey, so I was thinking..."

"Think, no talk," he interrupted you as both of you sat on the couch.

"Wait, it is important," you said again, making him give up and listen to you. "Ok, so tomorrow, as you know, is my birthday..."

"What?" Jess exclaimed. "You never told me it was your birthday tomorrow! Now, I'll have to cancel my plans. Wait a sec..."

You looked at him, confused. Plans?

"Jess, I told you tomorrow was my birthday, like five times. With whom did you make plans tomorrow?"

"Wel, Jack, Fred, and Gabs. We were going out to the movies or some. Let me call Fred and tell him."

"Gabs as in Gabriella? Your ex?" He nodded. "You could've told me."

"Why? She's ancient history, and you aren't my girlfriend."

You quickly stood up, making him look over his cellphone to you. You didn't look happy, you seemed really upset.

"What are we doing here, Jess?"

"What do you mean?"

"For how long have we been hooking up? A month? Six weeks?" He knew where this was going. "At what are we playing here?"

"I don't know. You want to be something serious, I don't understand."

"That is precisely the thing I'm talking about, Jess. You never know anything. You never communicate! You have no idea how to express yourself or even how to treat a person that cares about you."

Jess sighed.

"What do you want from me, Y/N, huh?"

"I want you to care for someone at least once, Jess! I want you to remember things like my birthday or my favorite things or the way I like my coffee because you want to remember; because you care about me. We aren't teenagers anymore, Jess! You are grown enough to know that relationships are built by communication."

The writer quickly stood up, ready to discuss. 

"I care about you, Y/N!"

"No, you don't..." she whispered. "You can't even admit that you like me. That what you feel for me is more than making out because of boredom." He looked over to the big window with the view of Philadelphia. "Your birthday is on March 9th. You tend to forget to carry a pencil with you, and surprisingly, you are always in need of one, so I always carry one in my bag. When you meet someone, you stay extremely quiet while they talk and don't even say goodbye to them when you leave, and I've always told you that that is extremely rude, but you don't listen, you change the subject." 

His eyes met yours, and he noticed the tears that were threatening to leave your eyes. 

"You like french toasts," you continued, "but not with your coffee, so I always serve you orange juice when I make them for breakfast. Your eyes shine every time your uncle calls to tell you that he is doing fine because even if you don't admit it, you love him and appreciate him so much. And I remember all of those little details because I care about you, Jess. Hell, call me idiotic and girl for even thinking that maybe... I'm in love with you. But I'm worth more than this, Jess, I am. And if you can't see it, then it is no my problem. I am done trying just to release I am doing it alone. I've accepted my feelings, now accept yours. Bye, Jess."

And with that, you left.

"Then what are you doing here?" The guy asked Jess, dragging him away from his memories.

"What do you mean?" Jess asked.

"You are clearly not over this chick, you don't want to be in this party even though it is kinda in your honor, and it's her birthday. So, just leave. Go get her.

"How would I be certain she'll receive me with open arms?"

"You don't, man, that's the thing about love: you never know what is going to happen until you take the leap of faith."

He was right. He has always been scared of making the big jump. He has always been insecure about if anyone is going to be waiting to catch him. He couldn't keep making the same mistake over and over, he had to accept his feelings.

"I'm gonna go now. Thanks for the party, man."

Jess Mariano has never been more sure about something that what he was about to do. It was absurd. He was going to drive for an hour and a half in the middle of the night to Philadelphia. Yeah, sounded insane, but everything was about taking that leap of faith he was always scared to make.

But as soon as he hit the road, the doubts and questions hit his head like a train. What was he going to do? How would it end?

He was a writer. Every time he had an idea, the next thing that he knew was how it was going to end. You can't write a story without knowing the ending. But apparently, that was the only way of living it.

While he was driving to Philadelphia, you were sitting on your kitchen island, staring at that red velvet cupcake that held your single birthday candle. You were all alone, the same way you were your last birthday. You couldn't believe a year has passed since the last time you saw him.

You read that his book made the best-sellers list of the week. As soon as you read his name, the memories came back, as they have never left, they were just hiding inside a locked box waiting to come out.

Jess Mariano messed with your life in a way you could have never imagined. You were in love with him, and he never prooved you, he felt the same way with you. Jess wasn't even slipping away from you, you knew Jess always had a footstep out of the door, and you tried to ignore it, but it was almost impossible. Once he was in your life, he was in your life forever.

You blew the little candle, ate your cupcake, and went to sleep, not knowing that two hours later, you'll wake up by the sound of the doorbell. Who could be at two am in the morning? Your friends were going to come to prepare you breakfast, but a seven-hours head start was too much, even for them. 

"What's going on?" You sleepily asked as you opened the door, looking at Jess standing there. "Mariano? What are you doing here?"

"Your headaches are provoked by strong smells. You ran away from home at 18, but I've seen you call your parents from now and then to check on them. Your eyes light up at the mention of sugar. You have this Victoria Secret perfume that you stole from your aunt, and you never used it, you just like to spray it on the air and inhale it, because she smelled like that and you miss her. You used to be addicted to gum, so much that your mom had prohibited you from ever buying it. You love watching people renovate their houses on HGTV, and you make plans on how you are going to remodel your place. You love strawberries covered in chocolate, and you cry at the movies. And I remember all of these, even if it has been a year because I care about you, Y/N. And I couldn't say it back then because I was scared, but now I'm not. Now, I am the guy for you. I know how much you are worth it, I knew since the day I met you." He took a deep breath. "Please, Y/N, let me prove it to you that I can be the guy you need."

What would you say if Jess Mariano was standing in your doorstep, begging for a second chance? I'm honestly asking.

[alisonsfics]

♡𝙟𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙤♡

⤜♡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨♡⤛

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧

[prescottsownthisshithole]

Masterlist

* Fluff - * Angst - ^

Jess Mariano x reader

Somebody Else (JM)

Nathan Prescott x reader

You’re drunk, honey.* 

Anniversary* 

Concert*-

Dummy*

Drunk* 

You’re my light* 

Goddess* 

Accident* 

The tempest* 

Nathan x ftm! reader*  Halloween party* Nathan x ftm!reader * Dive* Text message*

Comfort*

Jealousy and acting* For him. (songfic)* Break up. Shitty fathers and loving boyfriend* Psychiatrist*

Accent*

Pillow fight*

Clean up* (songfic) Finals* Warren and Nathan falling for the same girl* Morning cuddles* Makeup* Problems* Stress help* (friends!NathanxVictoriaxReader) I think I’m in love with you and that’s scary* Help*^ Working* secret admirer* scratches* walking home*

MATCHUPS

matchup #1

matchup #2

matchup #3 matchup#4 matchup#5 matchup#6

matchup#7

matchup#8

matchup#9

matchup#10

matchup#11

matchup#12 matchup #13

matchup #14 matchup#15 matchup#16

CHLOE PRICE X READER

Hidden love* Fiancée* Sleepover*

RACHEL AMBER X READER

Shy*  I will always love you...^ Cheesy pick up lines* Unexpected* dating Rachel*

KATE MARSH X READER

Happy*

WARREN GRAHAM X READER

Notebook* Movies*

SEAN DIAZ X READER

Roads [1/?]* Meeting* Roads [2/?]* First time (smut)* Cuddling*

FINN(LiS2) x reader

dating Finn fight*

Drabbles

Nathan being your muse* roadtrip with Rachel dating Hannah (LiS2)

[bruh--wtf]

hi can i anonymously request a jess mariano imagine where its something similar to the scolding he does to rory but instead reader does that wake up call for him because he is not acting like himself. i hope that this makes sense but to summarise a angst where reader scolds him for his unusual behaviour but with a happy ending

Yes, definitely! I hope I did this right, I didn't think it was confusing but if I read it wrong, feel free to call me out.

Reason for Return

Masterlist

Jess Mariano x Reader

Liz and TJ were getting married. Luke told you it was Renaissance themed. He was enthusiastic about it, of course. Well he didn't tell you specifically. You were getting lunch with Lorelai. And he told both of you.

Lorelai Gilmore. She was your surrogate mother. You'd asked her to adopt you, and you were sure your parents wouldn't know the difference if she did.

You went to college, of course. But you live at home because you're school was close by.

Tomorrow's the wedding. You were watching Kirk yell at Miss. Patty. You rolled your eyes, walking oast the gazibo, towards Lukes. Then you see him. Sitting on the bench.

He meets your eyes, his expression was flat. You tried to hide your shock, but stumbled a little. You quickly walk towards Luke's. You glare at him as you walk in. He puts his hands up.

"What did I do?" He asks. "I really don't need anyone else to give me shit."

"No warning. No warning whatsoever?!" You hiss, sitting down at the counter. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath.

"I forgot," he says. You gape at him.

"You forgot? You forgot to tell me Jess was coming?" You ask. He puts his hands on the counter.

"It's his mom's wedding," he says.

"What did he say when you told him that?" You ask. He nods, not answering. He knew you were right. "He looks pissed. Why does he look pissed?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I walked past him in the park and he looked numb. What's with that?" You ask. He sighs, giving you a sympathetic look.

Before Jess moved, you two were close. Really close. He was close with Rory, obviously. He was the reason her and Dean broke up. Well, Dean read the situation wrong. But he was right about one thing. Rory wasn't in love with him anymore. But if he had said "Y/N's into him," instead, that would be correct.

You weren't completely sure if Jess liked her or not. But, they never dated.

You were closer to dating the boy than your friend. But that too, never happened.

"He's just here for the wedding, Y/N," he says. You nod as he sets a mug down infront of you. Then he looks up and pulls the cup away. You gape at him.

"You're really depriving me of coffee now?" You ask. His eyes widened a fraction. You look behind you at where Jess was now walking into the diner.

He briefly looks at Luke and you. Mainly you. But it was still brief. He goes upstairs. You clench your fists. You stand up and Luke walks infront of the stairs.

"Really want to do that right now?" you ask. He sighs, moving to let you up the stairs. You go up to the apartment.

You step inside to see Jess grabbing a new book. You didn't have time to see what it was, but it looked like Luke's.

He looks over at you and rolls his eyes, not looking at you for long.

"I don't even get a hello?" You ask. He closes the book, which looked to have another one inside of it, and tries to walk past you. But you close the apartment door. He clenches his jaw, still avoiding looking at you.

"Nothing. For over a year," you say. He looks at you finally. "Say something!"

"What do you want me to say?" He asks.

"At least try to defend yourself," you say. He reaches around you for the door handle. You push him back, further into the apartment.

"I don't need to defend myself to you," he says. You raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, no? Who was it that left me right before graduation completely broken?" His eyes leave yours again. "Want to defend yourself now?"

"This town was never for me, you know that," he says. You scoff.

"Bullshit," you say. He glares at you. "You liked it here, I know you did."

"You don't know anything about me," he says, again trying to get passed you.

"Like hell I don't!" You yell, pushing him back yet again. "I forgave you. Of course you wouldn't know that, because you weren't here. But I did. Months ago. Because Luke explained it to me. And I knew you well enough to figure out why you thought not graduating was even remotely intelligent," you say. His jaw was still clenched.

"If you forgave me, then why do you want me to defend myself?"

"Because you're acting like a complete asshole! You should at least want to try and talk to me. But you can barely look at me! And I want to know why!"

He couldn't meet your eye. You tilt your head slightly, trying to get him to look at you. You raise an eyebrow. You noticed how his hair had grown out a little bit.

"What the hell is going on with you?" You ask. He looks at you.

"I didn't mean to break you, and you shouldn't have forgiven me," he says. You stare at the boy.

"You're kidding me, right? You're acting like this because you want me to be pissed at you?"

He meets your eyes again, showing you were right. You scoff. "Tell me what's going on with you," you say. He doesn't say anything. "Tell me!"

"I can't give you an answer that you would like," he says. You scoff, giving a sarcastic smile.

"I can't promise I'd like any answer. But I still want one," you say. He blinks, looking down, avoiding looking at you yet again. You bring a hand up to his face, trying to turn it slightly, but he turns his face further away. You bring your other hand up. He looks at you. "Please, Jess."

He lets out a breath, and you felt the hot air fan your face. Your breath hitched slightly, but it wasn't enough for him to notice. "I didn't talk to you because I knew that talking to you would make me want to come back."

You stare at him for a moment. Your hands become loose and they slide down slightly, landing on his chest. You tried to understand. You didn't know what it could actually mean. He sees the confusion on your face and shifts more, to face you.

"I liked it here, you're right. Only because of Luke, Rory, and you. Mainly you. And if I heard your voice, if I knew you weren't mad at me, I would have been back here instantly."

You stare at him. You were hoping his words meant one thing, but part of you doubted it. The bigger part. "What's so wrong with that?" You ask.

"Nobody wants me here. Not Luke, not the town-"

"I do!" You say. He watches you. "And... even if you didn't stay here, I want you to at least talk to me!"

You realize your hands have probably sat in their spot for far to long, so you let them fall yet again. This time they landed at your sides, as you let out a sigh.

"I don't deserve you," he says, almost quietly. You meet his eyes.

"Jess-"

"No, I knew it when we started getting close. I knew that this would happen. I hurt you and you still somehow want to talk to me," he says, like he can't believe it.

"Well it's true. You're right, the town doesn't want you here. But Luke does. And I'm sure your mom does. And I do. If you want to be somewhere else, that's fine. But don't pretend like you didn't spend years here, like we don't exist."

"You think that's what I've been doing?"

"Sure seems like it."

"Well, it's not." You stare at him and raise an eyebrow. "I think about you every single day. You are always somehow popping into my head."

"Jess... what are you saying?" His fingers trace your wrist lightly, as if he's hesitant to hold your hands.

"I'm saying that if I had stayed, I would have wanted more than just being friends," he admits. You felt your mouth fall open slightly.

It took you a minute to process and question. "You-"

"I'm in love with you." Your eyes widen even more.

He looks nervous, waiting for a response. You couldn't fully process it. Jess Mariano. The boy you were the closest with for so long. The boy who you fell for a few months after he moved to your town. He was in love with you. And you'd wanted to hear it for so long, but you couldn't form the words to say it back.

He takes your silence as the wrong answer. He takes his hands away, nodding, looking down at his book, then up at the door. He takes a step around you, out into the stairway. You finally leap into motion. You turn, grabbing his wrist.

"Y/N-" he is cut off by you rising up slightly on your toes, connecting your lips with his. He didn't take long to react. His lips felt slightly chapped, and moved gently against your own. His hands found the side of your face. One of your hands gently rested intbetween his chest and abdomen. And your other hand reached up, lightly tracing his arm.

When the two of you finally pull apart, he rests his head on yours. "I don't know if you noticed... but I love you too." He chuckles, one of his hands mindlessly playing with your hair.

"I might need you to show me that again," he says. You tried to hide your smile by biting your lips. A small blush crept onto your cheeks. "Would you be my date to the wedding?"

You pecked his lips, still smiling.

"I'll take that as a yes?" You laugh slightly, nodding.

"Yes. It's a yes."

[ao3feedjessrory]

Sojourn

read it on the AO3 at https://bit.ly/34lyuIg

by ksfd89

Oneshot where Rory thinks about Jess during her summer trip between S3 and 4. Very heavy on angst! Enjoy! I might write a follow-up from Jess's POV in California!

Words: 2839, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Gilmore Girls

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Rory Gilmore, Jess Mariano

Relationships: Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano

Additional Tags: Angst, Family, How I imagine Rory was feeling

read it on the AO3 at https://bit.ly/34lyuIg

[scarlet4rose]

I think I'm in love with you

Jess Mariano x reader y/n angst

₊ ⋆˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ‧

A November night. Rain keeps on pouring down, the sky is dark. you're kind of sad and look out of the window, which is full of raindrops and offers a view of ... nothing at all. there's nothing to see.

you think. But suddenly there's the glimpse of a shadow and this November night no longer seems to mean just nothing at all.

You crack open the window a little and glance out. "Hello?" you call out into the dark. You're about to close the window again until you hear his voice. "Don't"

You widen your eyes: "Jess?" "Yeah, it's me" he's all wet and seems to be trying to stop himself from shivering.

"Are you stupid? What are you doing here?" you ask. he could get sick in the cold and the rain, you think. you're worried about him actually.

"oh great, that's just typical. the first thing you ask is if i'm stupid! That's how you think of me, right?" Jess pretends to be upset and has his brows furrowed.

"what?" you shake your head, "no, that's not true…" "well, then what is true?" he replies, sounding kind of provocative

"You're gonna be real sick by tomorrow! True enough??"

he tries hard not to smile. "so what are you gonna do about it?"

"let you in, I guess?", you sigh.

"That's what I was hoping for". Jess steps closer to your window and climbs into your room. his clothes are full of rain and it's dripping on the carpet.

you groan in annoyance: "you're making a huge mess here and I don't even know why... why you're here"

"Huge mess?" Jess looks at you in disbelief, "Jesus, Y/N, it's just water. it'll dry."

Your expression remains unchanged. "Jess, what are you doing here?". He tilts his head a little. "I was bored. that's all ".

"great. whenever you're bored, i'm good enough," you cross your arms and turn your head to the side.

Jess and you are good friends. you go to school together, you occasionally help him with his homework, since he doesn't do any of it on his own. you're cool. but sometimes, just sometimes, you're overcome with a feeling of helplessness when you're around him. a feeling that you could want more, but you just can't be. you're too different and everyone knows he's no good for you.

Jess just smiles: "maybe".

but you're not in the mood for his games tonight. "go home, Jess. I really don't know what you want from me right now. it's kinda late. contact your homework help next time during the day!"

Jess blinks in confusion: "woah, Y/N. that's not what i meant. you know you're not just my homework help, come on now."

he tries to reach for your hand, but you pull it away. you won't even look at him.

"please Y/N, what the hell are you doin ? I don't understand. I never said anything like that"

you swallow: "i know. sometimes you just think certain things. but you never say them".

Jess sounds almost angry now: "Stop it! you don't know what you're saying"

"you're right", you reply in a sarcastic tone, "how on earth am I supposed to know what I am saying".

"God!" Jess takes a step back, "what's the matter with you all of a sudden? why are you actin like i don't care about you?"

you can't help it, you turn your face towards him and try your best to give him a cold and determined look. "I don't have to act like you don't care about me. I already know you don't"

his eyes grow sad und he just looks at you, doesn't say a word for about a minute. he seems to be deep in thought for a while and you're beginning to feel uneasy. maybe you went too far, you think.

"Jess...?", you mutter

"Y/N", his expression remains stern.

"Yeah?"

"you care about me?", he then asks. your breath hitches in your throat. Of course you do! how couldn't you? he was never supposed to know though...

"well, what do you wanna hear?", you try to play it cool, but you can feel your foolish heart jumping up and down in your chest like a maniac.

"you know, maybe you're right. you know, right about how we think certain things but never say them?"

"I guess so", your heart is beating even faster. is he going to break it now?

"I think stuff. and it's just stupid. but when I asked you if you cared about me... I kinda wanted you to say you do"

You look at him shocked, wanting to yell, 'But I do', but you can't seem to form the words.

"And it's just stupid cause… I think I'm kind of in love with you. or whatever this feeling is, because I've never been in love before" .

his confession hits you like a train and you feel numb, it's all so dreamy, so surreal. "Jess, I didn't know", you burst out. you wanna fall into his arms and confess to him too, but he's already at your window. opening it.

"yeah, it's whatever", He bites down on his lower lip, "gonna get over it anyway"

"No, Jess, wait, please wait", you plead with him to stay, but he doesn't listen. he's out of your room in a second, rain pouring down on him.

"i dont wanna wait. I'm always stuck waiting for something. not gonna wait. no more", he says in a cold voice. and then he's gone, disappeared into the night.

you feel like you might break down and cry at any moment, but you know how to pull yourself together, cause you have always had to your whole life. And now you know something else too. Jess loves you. and you got feelings for him too, there's no denying it any longer. and you know he needs to know. he won't have to wait anymore.

Because tommorow at school, you'll see him again

--------------------˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚---------------------

[daydreamreality]

Thinking about actor availability, and how that affects my perception of Jess and how strongly I feel about shipping Literati.

Really thought this would only be a few paragraphs going over the points where Jess could have disappeared never to be seen again, but it turned into a freaking essay so LONG POST warning if you decide to click ahead. 

If the last we saw of Jess was hanging up the phone in the season 3 finale: "Well, it was fun ride while it lasted. That's about how I thought this would end." Still have a lot empathy for this kid and wish him well, but you screwed with Rory's heart like I knew would happen. Was that intentional? No. But he was so immature, out of control with his emotions, zero communication skills, not trusting in others...the list of reasons why he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even if the feelings were serious, goes on. There was no way Rory wasn't going to end up as collateral damage in his personal breakdown that I could feel was going to happen. And this is the thought I had as a teenager with no dating experience watching this show for the first time. Did I want to date him? Hell no! I could see that trainwreck from a mile away. Rory was naïve to put her heart in his trust but that's part of her good qualities - she's sees the best in people and champions for them. I could go on a tangent about why exactly Jess was such an important character to me when I first watched the show (and probably why he stuck around unconsciously until I decided on a whim to rewatch GG in lockdown) but...I don't know, maybe some other time.

In the context of the entire show, I would look back at the relationship as my favorite one to watch of Rory's in the series (The build-up! The connection! Their deep belief in and respect for each other! The angst!) and Jess being a really fun character to root for (and yell at) but endgame? It was a short lived but important relationship. It’s fun to think about what ifs and how circumstances could have changed to make it work, but we can move on.

The ill-fated spin-off: I have no idea what this show would have been about except focusing on Jess and Jimmy and I’m not about to theorize. I still like Jess at this point so it would probably make me like him more since we’re getting a deeper dive into his character, but in regard to shipping him with Rory, this opinion would not change unless he all of sudden showed some great maturity. But I doubt this show would have even gotten a whole season so that probably wouldn’t happen. And then he’s living in California…this is too much, moving on.

If the last we see of Jess is in season 4: About the same feeling as above. Life, as expected, has not been treating Jess well. At all. His jadedness and hostility is at an all-time high when he shows up to get his car. Do I see the reasons informing his behavior and have empathy (once again, for a KID)? Yes, but he's also being a jerk. "The years don't seem to have hardened you." Well this year sure has!

I love the "I love you" scene but too little too late, buddy. That's probably why I love it, it's all a bit hopeless. Just keep shoveling the angst at me. I do like fics where this scene is reimagined with Rory running after him to give him a piece of her mind or Jess finding some other words to say (I really feel like he had more to say there but got overwhelmed), and coming to a tentative reconciliation: exchanging numbers, "don't fall off the face of the earth," but getting back together? No. You hurt her and you're feeling the consequences. Rory is not obligated or responsible to reciprocate those feelings, nor is she in a place to do that right now. 

But season 4 does cement that Luke and Jess's relationship is one of my favorites in the entire show. There's probably a whole other post in me regarding that so I'll keep it brief. Because of his respect for Luke, Jess makes tentative steps towards maturing in interpersonal relationships. He shows some vulnerability and honesty with a veil of sarcasm and awkwardness because, well, it's JESS.

But then of course this all goes to hell when applied to Rory. Sometimes I like to think how this dorm scene would have gone down if Rory stepped back for a second and went, "Hold on. You're not making any sense, chill out," and they could have talked a bit and had a similar reconciliation like I said above because I really think that’s all he was going for - to talk to her, apologize, and make an attempt at reciprocation like he did with Luke. But getting back together here? Canonically, he hasn't made enough progress. He set aside his personal feelings to be in his mother's wedding and used the knowledge from the self-help book to apologize to Luke, but I don't think the book's message has sunk in all the way yet and he’s still got a massive chip on his shoulder preventing him from making a good life for himself. Getting rejected by Rory here is an important moment and I really like it. It's fun to think about the AU if Rory had said yes (hello road trip!), but it's very in-character for her to not be able to handle Jess's crisis and just shouting "NO, make it stop." This is one of my proudest of Rory moments: Protect your heart girl, he ain't ready. The seeds have been planted that Jess will continue to grow and I wish him well on his journey. Endgame material? Nah. Goodbye forever, take care my friend...

Even though this scene doesn't feel like closure at all, I really thought this was the end of Jess Mariano. So imagine my surprise when -

SEASON 6: HE'S BACK. Coming out of the shadows, [literally] it's Jess Marianoooo *air horns* *confetti* *jazz hands* *Jess rolls his eyes at the fanfare*

Alright, that's out of my system. But for real that's what my mind did at this point. For context, the way I watched this show for the first time was getting the DVDs from the library while a couple of seasons were still on the air; when a new season was available to borrow, I would rewatch all the seasons up to the current point so my memories and favorite parts of the show are seasons 1-4. Because I was not bingeing the show all the way through, seeing Jess here seemingly so different didn’t feel out of place. A shock, yes! A happy surprise. But nothing about him seemed OOC. A year had gone by, we’d seen some signs of maturity in him, and getting rejected by Rory was a big kick in the ass for him to start making bigger changes in his life. I really cannot emphasize how satisfying and sensical his positive character development felt to me. 

The slight maturity we see in season 4 in its full potential. Jess is still Jess: guarded, self-deprecating, and a bit prickly but he shows a sense of calm and feeling more comfortable in his skin. This is really satisfying to see as someone who always "knew" there was a kind and capable heart underneath the exterior just like Rory did, and that tough guy, must protect myself at all costs posturing has melted away. But that side of him isn't gone, it's not like the writing did a complete 180 on his character. I love this. He's just...more at peace with himself but he's not a different person, and he's found something to direct his focus and intellect on. He's made his peace with Luke, and now he has something of worth to show Rory to try to mend that hurt as well.

Yes, it would have been nice to see how and why he decided to write a book and work in publishing but this course of events is not out of left field, nor is Jess enough of a main character at this point for scenes like this to be necessary to the show unless they were tied to Luke and showing another side of him. Jess has shown in the past that he has a good work ethic if he feels it is worth it. The problem wasn't him being lazy, just poor decision making and focusing on RIGHT NOW, "I need to get out of Stars Hollow and live my life," and not considering the consequences of his actions. Which as an immature kid whose life had told him he can only depend on himself...not out of the ordinary. The dude’s life passion is literature and has probably read every book he can get his hands on, it’s not crazy that he had his own story in him. 

Here is where Literati becomes endgame material for me. Prior to the revival it was always my feeling that post-series they would reconnect while Rory was on the campaign or afterwards. It would be low drama (except for Lorelai criticism), slowly gaining trust in each other again, and eventually starting a committed relationship within a year or two of being friends with sexual tension (lol). They made their adolescent mistakes, hurt each other, but learned from it and started over on infinitely better footing.

The match just makes sense to me at this point for many reasons; I don't feel like I need to list them all out because you can go to any pro-Literati post and I'll probably agree with the majority of the points. The biggest issue they had was timing: “Right heart, wrong time.” I like especially how they even out each other's more extreme personality traits. For example, Rory learning from Jess to consider her own feelings instead of sacrificing herself for others, and Jess considering others before himself all the time. Or professionally, I can see Jess encouraging her to step away from her ultra-organized, “everything has to be just so” ways when it benefits her to seize an opportunity right now, don’t worry about the details, you got this. Maybe Jess has another book in him, but his self-deprecation and disorganization prevent him from getting it done but Rory helps him be more objective and focused. There’s this…synergistic energy I feel with the two of them: they’re great by themselves, but form something better together.

Judging from Rory's reactions towards him in this season, I don't think it's OOC for her to have romantic feelings for him again. She's extremely proud of his accomplishments and not unhappy to see him (not holding a grudge). They fall back into their comfortable dynamic even if it makes them both a bit nervous. Now some could argue that this means that Rory only wants to be friends with him but...when have Jess and Rory ever been just friends? If "Another Year in the Life" comes out (I've got serious doubts but would love to be proved wrong) and Rory rejects him or he's not even a part of it, fine! But I just don't see anything in canon that says explicitly she'll never feel romantic towards him again.

Now the kiss...there's a lot of ways to read that scene. Do I think Jess was in the right to assume "everything is fixed" as a go ahead? No. But that's part of why he is such an engaging character: he's impulsive and acts in accordance to his feelings, and yes, this gets himself and others in trouble. 

Do I think Rory purposefully went to the open house to "use" Jess to get back at Logan? No. I think she genuinely wanted to support him, and Logan being out of town meant she wouldn't have to explain why it was important for her to go. I see the kiss paralleling the one in 2x22 but instead of Rory not being able to hold her feelings in any longer, Jess initiates. The way I see it is she was unaware she still had lingering feelings towards him (not out of nowhere, I mean their relationship has "unfinished business" written all over it) and that scared the crap out of her, just like at the end of season 2. So she runs away to the "safe space" that is being with Logan. Because she's in love with Logan, she has a sense of obligation towards him, and Rory has shown many times that she does not react well to change and highly emotional situations.

Is this scene a deal breaker for a future relationship between them? I don't think so. Jess says that he isn't sorry she came, which I take as "I'll never be sorry to see you no matter the context." Yes, this hurt him and made him pretty mad, but I don't think he's holding a grudge against her for this; even in the moment he's more concerned that someone cheated on her and her safety getting to her car. He sets a boundary that he doesn't deserve his feelings to be pushed around like this and Rory agrees. Not that I condone this sort of tit-for-tat hurting of each other (which I don't think Rory was going for in the first place) but it's almost like...that cycle is now broken. The whole scene is so open ended, it doesn't feel like a "good bye forever" to Jess.

"But Rory is so in love with Logan!" I don't know about you, but that "I'm in love with him despite all the bad he's done..." sounds so defeated and sad. It's almost like she's resigned herself to being in love with Logan. The first time I watched this, I thought this was foreshadowing that the relationship was on its last legs. To keep them together, Logan almost dies so Rory will bury her hurt out of guilt for holding a grudge against him. She is completely entitled to feeling hurt by Logan's actions, and I hate that she feels like she has to do this. But it happened, moving on.

"But Rory is a cheater!" When I think about Rory's characteristics, "cheater" doesn't make the list. She feels entitled to the men that she's loved and this isn’t super great behavior, but I don't view her as inherently unfaithful or okay with cheating. I give her leeway on the season 2 Jess kiss because she was a teenager with a lot of conflicting emotions and everything around her was pushing her to stay with Dean. The season 4 Dean debacle...she was still very young and naïve. I put most of the blame on Dean for manipulating her; I say most because if Rory really wanted to be with him, she should have been more sure of the status of his marriage, but I repeat: he manipulated her and she was very young and naïve. I dare to say she has been conditioned to view Dean as nothing but safe and trustworthy so why wouldn't she believe him... Season 4 was all about her being out of sorts when away from the Stars Hollow bubble and trying to reclaim some normalcy. Narratively, I see why this makes sense and I don't think the intention was to say “Rory is okay with cheating,” but to show very explicitly that Rory isn't perfect. This show goes to extremes, at this point I kind of just accept it and don't jump to "this person/character is terrible!" Certain characteristics and behaviors I have less patience for (mild) or will make me lose all respect for a character (extreme - honestly very few GG characters fall into this category for me); you may feel differently and that's fine. When other plot points in this series are much more bizarre and OOC, while this turn of events makes me uncomfortable and angry, at least it makes sense to me.

The 6x18 kiss I've already said that I don't think Rory had premeditated intent to cheat on Logan judging from the fact that Jess initiated it; yes, she went with it nor was it a complete surprise, I get this. The "I couldn't even cheat on him..." line I think is an outburst of guilt and regret, not her saying she had a plan in mind. Maybe I'm being too soft on her, I don't know...she did stay there late but maybe she just got lost in the book while waiting to say bye. We've seen her not know how to deal with conflicting emotions and change to her status quo, and attempt to distract herself when life isn't panning out the way she wants and not think about the consequences in the moment, so I don't find this scene OOC or intentionally cruel. The revival...I don’t think I can even go there right now because it would just be me screaming incoherently about how much I hate "full circle" and how bizarre the entire thing was. Maybe something of value would eventually come out with a lot of editing. XD

This isn’t to say I’m 100% on Rory’s side all the time. Pretty much every character in this show has at some point made me smile, made me laugh (generally with them, but some characters it’s more like at), made me want to give them a hug, made me roll my eyes, and made me want to throw something at them. That’s why I love it so much! Even if the drama is turned up to 1000, I still get the sense that these characters are human. My favs end up on my “will protect at all costs” and “shit” lists throughout the series, no one is immune. Except Lane. She really is the best person in this entire show. #JusticeForLaneKim

If ASP had written season 7: (Remember there being some sort of theme to this post? Only two episodes in s6, but Jess sure does make an impact.) I bet Jess would show up at some point. MV is loyal to the creators and not the show, if it was important for Jess to be there I’m sure his shooting schedule would have been accounted for. Storyline would have been similar to the revival because AYITL is ASPs season she didn’t get to do without considering how time passing affects the characters (I’M STILL SALTY) except Rory is at Yale and I think the book was a new idea. Shipping as endgame doesn’t change, and I bet there wouldn’t be a nice little Literati ending because we’ve got to end it the same way, right? I don't even need them to be together at the end because Rory has greater plans to focus on, but just a moment! One moment is all I asked for... I don’t know if this makes me mad because I felt like the narrative had been pushing us along this path for so long even if actual "endgame" was going to be offscreen or if I kind of like just having it in my imagination. Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. In any case, it could have been cool to see Jess present for the birth of his half-sister and giving Luke some support. 

Like I said, I'm not touching AYITL right now. The whole starting point of this was, "huh, if MV never came back to the show, how would I feel about Jess and Literati?" And he was in it so it doesn't really fit into this even though we've gone on a meandering journey as pieces of discourse that have never sat right with me but didn't quite know how to express that disagreement until now popped in my mind. So there you go. If you’ve made it to end, claps to you, what a champ.

At the end of the day, Literati is the ship that makes me feel the most things, it's kind of just a gut thing. This really isn't any sort of argument just an outpouring of love for the show and these characters. I don't know how well that's communicated, but hey, I try. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia for the pairing and I always viewed Jess as being Rory’s, and only Rory’s, choice.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Oliver Twist and Little Orphan Annie

PART TWENTY OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: discussions of physical/emotional abuse, anxiety about future, serious angst, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 5.8K

Summary: As graduation approaches, Ella and Jess paint a room, and attend a party.

“How have you never painted a room before?” Ella asked, tiling her head at Jess as she guided his hand, armed with a roller, up and down.

A creamy white streaked the wall in stark contrast with the old color, giving off pungent fumes. Her one window was opened all the way, letting in the late May air. Rain poured on Stars Hollow, a thunderstorm which brought humidity and lightning. The sky had faded to a dark greenish-gray, a dull bruise. But Ella felt her spirits lifted high. Lorelai had paint leftover from redoing the Independence Inn following the fire, and she’d given it all to Ella. Sometimes, she didn’t know what she would do without the Gilmore matriarch. If she had to stay in her room during college, the least she could do was have a new mural. Three of the walls would be soft eggshell, while she had yet to decide the exact design of the one behind her bed. She had a lot of purple to use, and was thinking something floral. But the base coat was all they needed for the day.

Jess had volunteered rather than been recruited, but it quickly became clear to Ella that he had no idea what he was doing. His first few strokes were patchy at best, textured at worst. She was thankful Luke hadn’t gotten a new apartment back when they were thinking of moving. The plan then had been to have Jess paint it. Ella could only imagine the quarrels which would have ensued. As she guided Jess’s hand, she maneuvered around the mattress in the center of the room, piled high with almost all her belongings and surrounded by layers of plastic to protect the carpet.

“We can’t all be Michelangelo,” he quipped, frustrated with his clear incompetence. In theory, painting a room evenly wasn’t hard. But, a perpetual renter, he had zero experience. Theory was proving much different than practice.

Ella snorted a laugh. “Jess, it’s not the Sistine Chapel. You’re painting one wall with one color.”

“Easy for you to say. You paint all the time.”

She rolled her eyes. “You didn’t have to help. Just don’t apply too much pressure. We’ll have to do a few coats, but that’s the only way to make it look good.”

“I’ll do my best,” Jess grumbled as she stepped away from him, going to her own paint tray and prepping her roller for the wall next to his.

“I know you will, James Dean,” Ella said, more sincerely than he was expecting.

Smiling a tiny smile, Jess glanced over his shoulder at her. Her hair, held away from her face in a black bandana, fell down her back. The old Pixies t-shirt she wore rose up as she reached high on her tiptoes, exposing the dimples in her back, above the waistband of her worn jeans. His stomach buzzed with pleasant butterflies as he turned back to the wall.

“You write your speech yet?” Jess asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Groaning playfully, Ella shook her head more to herself than to Jess. “No. Not quite ready to pretend to have some inspiring message about the last four years. Also, I’m pretty sure my speech is going to be the last one. I’ll have to follow whatever those student government kids have to say.”

“Well, graduation is still three weeks away. You’ve got some time, Miss Valedictorian,” he said.

“One of four valedictorians,” she reminded him, her tone dismissive. “With the lowest GPA of all four.”

“How many times, Eleanor? It’s still a huge deal.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she said, breathing a soft sigh.

Before Jess could speak again, a quiet knock sounded on the door. Ella’s father didn’t wait to be invited in before he opened the door. Both of them turned and Jess could almost see Ella’s body turn rigid. Jess bit his lip again and put his paint roller down in his tray as Jake Stevens began to speak.

“Hey, Ellie, how’s it going in here?” Jake asked.

“Fine,” Ella shrugged, gazing around the room. “Should be done by tomorrow or day after next.”

Jake nodded. “Good. Don’t want the house smelling like this forever.”

“Right,” she said. “I just figured...white will be a better color for a guest room when I move out, and with the pink gone only one wall will need painting by then.”

“But that won’t be for a while, right?” Jake said, eyebrows raised.

There was almost a warning tone in his voice, Jess thought. In the interactions he’d seen between Ella and her father, it was never blatant. Jake never said anything overtly cruel or malicious, but it was in the way he said things. Like he knew there was nothing his daughter could do to get out from under his thumb. Like he could forever bind her to the role her mother used to fill, the chores and the emotional labor, while still ignoring her as if she didn’t live in the room right next to his. It was such an odd dichotomy.

Jess could definitely understand having a parent who was often neglectful, but there was a strange, controlling element to Jake’s behavior which Jess had never experienced himself. Many of Liz’s boyfriends (and sometimes fiancés, and sometimes husbands) were addicts with less than friendly personalities. But they were never around long enough to establish true manipulation of him. Instead, Jess would fight with them (more often than not, to protect Liz) until they got fed up and left. Then, Liz would blame him for driving the guy away and the cycle would begin again. The last time he’d gotten into a scrap with one of her men, punches had been thrown. Jess had even landed a few himself, but his fighting back proved to be the final straw for Liz. Instead of watching the man walk away from her, she’d sent Jess to Luke. But, of course, she’d moved onto the next one by the time Jess returned to New York following the accident with Rory’s car.

Those men, their main weapon was fear. But Ella’s father wielded guilt instead. He used his words, how he said them, and small actions disguised as discipline, instead of his fists. He loomed over his daughter coldly. She didn’t often talk about it, but Jess knew Ella’s father had slapped her at least once as a child, for talking back to him at the dinner table. She’d made the comment off-handedly, as though it was nothing. As though all parents kept their kids in line using such methods. And she claimed her father hadn’t touched her in anger since, that things were getting better between them, that her father had a hard childhood of his own and he had learned to parent in an abusive environment. But touch wasn’t always the vehicle for household violence. A family could have some kind of love without it being a healthy kind of love. It wasn’t dramatic, he didn’t witness any blow-outs. And though Jake always had a beer in hand when he was home, Ella only shook her head when Jess brought it up, told him her father never got blackout drunk anymore. Not since Fiona came around. But the subtle, warning tone was always there. And Jess could see shades of it every time Jake and Ella spoke to each other.

“Yeah,” Ella said, offering a weak smile. “Not for a while. But I’ll be thanking myself in four years.”

“Smart,” Jake agreed, nodding. Then, he turned to Jess: “And how are you, young man? No college plans I hear?”

“No,” Jess said, shaking his head. “Personally, I think I’m better equipped for trades.”

Again, Jake nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on Jess. “I suppose only time will tell, won’t it?”

“Yes. Yes, it will,” Jess said shortly.

Jake smiled thinly. “Well, I can’t wait to see the room when it’s done. As you were, kids.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Ella said, picking her roller back up as her father shut the door behind him.

Swallowing dryly, she took a second to listen to the rain outside. She flexed her free hand once and then got back to work, humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath. Jess watched, hesitant to say a word. Slowly, he began to paint again, rollers squeaking quietly against the walls.

“I hate it when he calls me ‘young man,’” he said, trying to keep his tone light.

She scoffed. “Wow, I’m shocked.”

“Yes, I’m very unpredictable,” he quipped. “There you go, type-casting me again.”

“Hey, I can’t help it if you’re James Dean back from the dead,” she teased, smirking over at him. “Speaking of which, are you too cool for the party next weekend, or are you gonna come watch Lane play with me?”

Running his free hand over his mouth, Jess locked eyes with her, looking over his shoulder again. “Depends. Are we gonna go make fun of everything like we’re gonna do at prom?”

Ella nodded. “Everything except the music. You can come be a Grinch with me, just like at the diner on Christmas.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And you don’t get to complain about my driving at prom. It’ll be a station wagon instead of a limo, since your rust bucket is gone,” Ella reminded him. Three weeks prior, Jess had walked out of the diner one morning and found his car gone. He had heard no leads about it since.

He sighed through his nose. “Whatever you say, soccer mom. I’ll get the tickets this week.”

“Okay, but I’m paying you back for mine.”

“If you insist,” he shrugged.

“I do.”

His eyes lingered on her a moment longer as she reached high on the wall. Sidestepping his painting tray, he brought a gentle hand to the small of her back and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Scrunching up her nose, she chuckled and told him not to distract her. And he went back to work laughing.

.   .   .

Though there were rips in her fishnets, Ella felt an added, confident skip to her step as she passed town square. The Spring Fling festival banner was still hung over the gazebo, though it had ended with a parade the night before. Bunches of flowers still lined the streets, beginning to wilt in the heat of May. In the back of her mind, she worried vaguely about her dark eye makeup melting off in the sunshine. Her Doc Martens squeaked on the tile floor of Luke’s as she waltzed in, breathing a small sigh at the gust of cool air conditioning. She smoothed down her black floral dress, blowing loose strands of hair, which had fallen from her half-up, half-down look, away from her freckled cheeks.

Only a few customers peppered the red tables, and no one occupied the counter. Luke scribbled on his pad as he stood behind the ancient register, preparing to close.

“Hey, Luke,” she called, smiling slightly at him.

He mumbled a greeting to her, not glancing up. Ella scoffed out a laugh at his disinterest, and didn’t bother asking if it was alright before going behind the curtain and trudging up the stairs. He’d been acting off lately, and though she wondered if it was something to do with his lawyer lady friend, she knew better than to ask. She’d spent the afternoon before visiting Julie in New Britain, and he seemed to have cooled off at least a little since she’d last seen him. Granted, it had been a Thursday, inventory day. One could always expect a fair amount of open hostility from Luke on inventory day. Ella could hear the sound of the Sex Pistols before she even neared the apartment door. Only knocking twice, and assuming she wouldn’t be heard over the music anyway, she stepped into the apartment. Jess sat up in his bed, reading Dead Souls, brows furrowed in concentration in spite of the noise.

Smirking, she came over and turned down the music to half volume. He only looked up to see her as Johnny Rotten got quieter, and blinked in surprise at her. She set her bag shoulder bag down on the worn wooden floor and sat at the end of the bed, legs hanging off the side.

“Hey, James Dean,” she said. “More light reading?”

He shrugged. “Seems that way.”

Clicking her tongue, she shook her head to herself. “I can just never stomach the Russians.”

Finally, one corner of his mouth quirked slightly upward. “So unrefined.”

She shrugged. “Maybe someday you’ll convert me.”

“Someday.” Jess put his book on the nightstand and ran a hand over his mouth. “You look ready to rock and roll all night and party every day.”

Rolling her eyes, Ella ignored the (millionth) KISS joke and cast her eyes down to her outfit once more. “Thanks. I was going for sort of a Winona Ryder thing.”

“Aren’t you always?”

“That I am,” she smiled, standing from the bed and holding a hand out to him. “We gotta go if we want to see the full set.”

Sighing through his nose, he grabbed her hand to pull himself up and nodded.

“Oh, and I finished my speech today,” she said as she watched him go over to the dresser to change out of the shirt he’d worn on shift and into his Metallica tee.

“Huh.”

“If you wanna read it before graduation, I can give you inside access,” she teased. “Or you can be surprised at the actual ceremony.”

“As long as it doesn’t mention me,” he muttered as he changed and checked his hair in the mirror.

She snorted a laugh. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mariano.”

Watching his reflection in the mirror, she saw a half hearted smirk cross his face. It didn’t reach his eyes. He ran a hand over his mouth again as he appraised his reflection, and Ella’s brows furrowed in concern.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He turned back to her and gave an unconvincing nod. “Fine.”

“Really? We don’t have to go if you’re not okay, y’know. I mean, I want to see Lane play, but in general I think parties are meaningless excuses for teenage debauchery.”

Jess didn’t look back at her when he spoke, turning off his music and going over by the door to grab his shoes. “We’re going. I know how much you wanna see Lane.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, she noticed the storms brewing in his brown eyes. His face was slightly pale. He looked exhausted. When he straightened up, shoes on, she went over and put her hand to his cheek.

“Do you feel sick?” she asked, feeling him lean into her touch though he wasn’t feverish. “You were fine Thursday night, but you closed alone. Did you get to sleep afterwards? I know sometimes if you work too late you can’t get to sleep-“

“Eleanor,” he cut her off, his voice tired, “I’m fine. Let’s just go. Please.”

Raising at a hesitant brow at the shortness of his tone, she bit her tongue and nodded slowly. He certainly didn’t seem fine, but they would be late if they waited much longer. And Lane was counting on her being there. Jess grabbed her hand and led her out of the apartment. And when he felt her give his hand a reassuring squeeze, he had to swallow down the myriad of emotions which rose in his throat.

.   .   .

Lane’s band, which still had yet to earn a name, got through the first set with little to no bumps in the road. The living room was stuffy, a suburban wet dream filled to the brim with drunk students. An ever-present smile shone on Ella’s face as she watched her friend banging it out on the drums, despite how much she disliked the stickiness of the atmosphere. She knew how much Lane had always wanted this, her own band, her own instrument. As they finished up with their first thirty minutes, having announced an intermission, Dave Rygalski walked by her, Jess, and Rory with a nod. Ella was glad Jess and Dave had been getting along so well. If Jess was going to stay in Stars Hollow for the foreseeable future, he had to have some other friends besides her and Rory. As soon as Lane hopped up from her drums, she came squealing over to the three of them in excitement, engulfing Rory in a hug. However, before she had too much of a chance to babble about the set, Dave whisked her away for a private conversation.

Rory smiled over at Jess and Ella weakly when she saw Dean nearing their vicinity with his new girlfriend, Lindsey, and quickly retreated to another room. Ella leaned back against Jess, who stood behind her, near the pristine couch, with his arms wrapped around her waist. She could feel his breathing against her back, smell his pine scent. And she thought for the first time in a very long time that the future might not just be survivable, but bright. Soon, she would be a high school graduate, be (tentatively) majoring in history, which had been her second-best subject in public school, still working at the diner. It wasn’t what her wildest dreams called for, but it certainly wasn’t bleak.

Jess’s breath was hot on her neck as he spoke into her ear, which was still buzzing from the loud music and the crowd. “You wanna go?”

She shook her head against his chest. “I think we should stay for the second set. And I haven’t even gotten a chance to talk to Lane yet. She’ll probably need my sage wisdom after whatever she and Dave are talking about.”

“Elle, I don’t-”

Before he could finish, he saw Dean and Lindsey heading directly for them.  Ella could feel Jess’s muscles instantly tense, his hands tightening around her own, his face stony. She knew how the feud started, with Dean trying to pull Jess away from a fight when Jess first came to town. But, then again, she had once gotten him off of Peter Smith. Only then, he didn’t take a swing at her like he had at Dean. If Jess hadn’t changed so much since then, and Dean hadn’t been such an asshole to Rory, she probably would’ve been on Dean’s side. But in the few times she’d heard Jess and Dean speak, she knew there was fault on both sides. And she was inclined to align with one of her best friends and her boyfriend before some possessive dick from Chicago.

“Hey, guys,” Dean began, his hand in Lindsey’s grasp as they ambled over. “Have you seen Rory?”

Ella actually liked Lindsey. They’d been acquaintances in high school (though in a class of only about seventy kids, one was usually acquaintances with everyone else), and had always thought her very sweet. And she could rock the bleach blonde look like no one else in their grade. It was certainly a style choice Ella could admire.  

Ella shrugged. “She’s around here somewhere. Why?”

“Just thought I’d say hello,” Dean replied, eyes searching the room for his ex-girlfriend, while his new girlfriend stood at his side.

“How sweet of you,” Jess said, venom in his voice.

Ella cleared her throat and pivoted the conversation before Dean could shoot anything back. “Yeah, anyway, you guys like the band?”

“Oh, they were great. I can’t say I recognized a lot of the songs, though,” Lindsey smiled, her voice light.

Nodding, Ella attempted a generous smile back. “Don’t feel bad. Lane knows every song in the English language. And some in pretty much every other language, too. There are bound to be some deep cuts in their repertoire, if she has any say in the set lists.”

Lindsey chuckled.

“So, Ella, I heard you’re going to Southern Connecticut State?” Dean asked, continuing the small talk despite the thick tension in the air.

Still, Ella forced a plastic smile on her face. She knew Rory wouldn’t want her causing any trouble, as the heartbreak was still so fresh. And she’d been able to master her people-pleasing artificiality after her years of serving Taylor at the diner.

“Yeah. Managed to score a spot.”

“Me too,” Dean said. “What are you going for?”

“History.”

“Oh, cool. I’m thinking maybe business, but I’m not entirely sure yet.” Dean had at some point focused his attention away from Ella and onto Jess, who still had his arms wrapped around Ella, watching the awkwardness silently. He just wanted whatever small town, false polite nonsense which was necessary to be over. “What about you, Jess?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not going to college or anything, right? Seems like you’re not going to school at all anymore, anyway.” Dean narrowed his eyes at Jess, and a momentary staring contest ensued.

Disentangling himself from Ella, Jess decided not to humor Dean’s attempt to rile him. “I’m gonna go check out the state of that bathroom line,” he muttered to Ella before trudging off.

Brows furrowing in concern, Ella's eyes lingered on him as he went, until he turned a corner and she lost sight of him. Huffing out an angry breath, she turned back to Lindsey, and Dean, who had a pleased expression on his face. Shaking her head, mostly to herself, she excused herself to go find Lane, maneuvering through the sweaty bodies and drunken mumbles.

.   .   .

Balmy air and crickets, Ella finally found Jess again out on the back porch. Most people were inside, gearing up for the band’s second set. She’d had to spend a pretty long time pulling a drunken Lane off the phone to her mother, aided by a still-shaken Rory. The evening seemed to have come to a screeching halt in the hour since the first set, and Ella was debating grabbing Jess’s hand and dragging him out. It was doubtful Lane would be conscious enough to make it through a song, let alone a second set. When Ella didn’t see his gelled black curls in the living room sea of teenage heads, she knew right where Jess would be. The night was pleasant, not quite too warm or humid, despite it being late May.

He stood with his forearms leaned against the railing, facing the lush green backyard, and he didn’t even look back when he heard her open and close the screen door. Ambling up next to him, her boots felt heavy on her feet. The air was cool on her hot skin, and the spring breeze blew her hair from her face. Arms against the polished wooden rail, mirroring him, she waited a few moments before finally speaking in a soft tone. She tilted her head to the red solo cup Jess held in his hands.

“Penny for a sip?” she asked.

Jess smirked. Saying nothing, he held the cup out to her. Taking a gulp of his slightly warm beer, she grimaced and then handed it back to him.

“Thank you, good sir.”

“Who are you? Oliver Twist?”

She shrugged, noncommittal. “Or Little Orphan Annie. Can’t keep my broadway straight. You could probably help me out.”

“Very funny, Stevens,” he said, a ghost of a smile on his face. But it didn’t meet his eyes. They lacked their usual sardonic sparkle, even in the glowing moonlight.

Leaning into his shoulder, Ella took in another deep breath of the fresh air. “What are you doing out here, James Dean? Did you not bring your sulking book?”

“Just couldn’t handle it inside.” He took another swig of his drink, emptying the cup, and set it carefully on the railing next to him.

“Was it Dean?” Ella asked, placing a hand on the back of his neck and running her fingers through the ends of his hair.

Jess glanced down at the ground with a bitter chuckle. “You think I actually care about Frankenstein’s monster in there?”

She scoffed knowingly. “Okay, fair enough. We can go soon, if you want. Lane’s wasted and Rory’s all messed up about Dean being here. And, I think I forgot to feed the cat? I have no idea why I let him stay in our house. He showed up right after my mom died, and kept hanging around our porch. He was already so old and he was so skinny. So I started letting him in when it got colder. My dad barely even noticed. I thought he’d be grateful, but now he hates us. Guess there was a lot of yelling and crying going on when he first came to live with us. But I suppose misery loves company-”

“I just…” Jess began, cutting off her rambling voice. He knew she was still waiting for an answer, but didn’t want to ask him another question. “You work your ass off for four years, and Dean still gets into the same college as you.”

Ella shrugged. “I don’t mind. There’s lots of people there. I probably won’t ever see him.”

“At least he’s finishing high school,” Jess muttered, shaking his head to himself and looking down at his hands, clenching and unclenching them in fists.

Brows furrowed, Ella’s hand fell from his skin and she tilted her head in askance. “What do you mean?”

He heaved a big sigh, looking out into the woods beyond the yard. Somewhere through the trees, he thought he could see the shine of the lake. An ache tugged at his heart, and his stomach did a flip before he spoke again.

“I went to get prom tickets when you were in the art room at lunch today. But then I got called to the principal’s office. He said I missed too many days.”

“And?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, he shook his head again. “Don’t make me say it, Elle.”

Pursing her lips, she brought her hands to her hips and nodded. “Guess you’ll need my speech in advance, then.”

“Guess so,” he echoed flatly, finally stealing a glance at her to gauge her reaction. With her strong stance, he could practically see the gears moving inside her head. There was a crease of concentration between her eyebrows, and she began biting at her nails absently.

“And you haven’t told Luke yet?” she asked.

“Nope.”

Again, she nodded, more decisive this time. “Okay...okay. I wish you could stay with me, but my dad will have you dead inside a day. I bet if you take twelfth grade over Luke’ll let you stay. I mean, I know he tries to act all tough, but I don’t know who he thinks he’s kidding.”

Jess straightened up again, running a hand over his mouth. He turned to face her. “I’m not going back to school. I can’t.”

“Of course you can, Jess. World bites you, you bite back.”

“Fine, then. I won’t.”

“Why not? Where are you gonna go?”

He could only shrug in response, looking back down at his shoes. Sometimes her gaze was so intense, even he couldn’t handle it. Usually, though, it was because of butterflies in his stomach, not because his heart was pounding nervously in his ears.

Swallowing dryly, she tried to maintain a calm facade. “No, Jess. You can’t do that Kerouac bullshit right now. You need a plan. I mean…” she paused to sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You told me you had it under control. You told me all I had to do was trust you.”

Closing his eyes for a moment, he composed himself and then wiped all emotion from his face when he looked back up at her. “I thought I did. I didn’t know how many days I missed, alright? But who cares! I never learned anything there anyway! It was a waste of my time!”

“And driving that forklift at Walmart forever isn’t a waste of your time?” she retorted, beginning to raise her voice. “If it made you happy, I’d say go for it. But it doesn’t! You’re too fucking smart for your own good, Mariano! You’re meant to be a writer! And you’re gonna settle on wasting your brain just because you were too proud to repeat senior year?!”

“Don’t talk to me about settling!” he countered, shaking his head.

“Fuck you, Jess,” she said, eyes narrowing as more blood rushed to her face, turning her skin scarlet with frustration. “Not everyone can just go wherever they want! Live wherever they want! I have people I actually care about!”

Rubbing at his mouth again, he sighed. “Yeah, well, lucky you! My mother is a wackjob who shipped me off because her boyfriend of the week didn’t like me! And my father is a fucking loser who couldn’t say more than two words when he finally met me!”

Ella took a step back in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

Jess breathed another exhausted sigh. “On Thursday, after you left. While I was closing. My dad came in, saw me for the first time in eighteen years. He told me who he was, took a good long look at me, and then ran right back out of the diner!”

There was a seismic shift in her face, eyes softening, color draining. Shaking her head, she went to touch his shoulder. “Oh my god, Jess. I didn’t-”

He shrugged off her hand. “Yeah, you didn’t know. Because I didn’t tell you. Because I’m just your deadbeat, high school dropout boyfriend who’s gonna work at Walmart for the rest of his life! How disappointing!”

“That’s not what I said!” she exclaimed, swallowing back the sting of tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, well, I can read between the lines pretty well at this point, honey,” he shot back, with a vicious, contemptuous tone.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to remain calm. She tried to remember Jess had just failed senior year and met his dad for the first time in a span of two days. But, as always, the fire in her stomach won. It was something about the way he looked at her. So cold. Like he felt nothing for her at all. Her heart dropped and she began to back away, towards the screen door.

“Fine. Fuck it! Go and find yourself. While I stay here, and think about what a fucking mistake it was to trust you when we said no cop-outs! Serves me right. Holden fucking Caulfield!” she shouted, slamming the sliding door behind her.

Raking a hand through his messy hair, Jess took no more than one moment of hesitation before rushing after her. It was crowded inside, people standing around waiting for a second set which would likely never be played. After a little frantic searching and weaving through smelly bodies, he found her. She was marching up the stairs to find Rory, who stood looking exceedingly uncomfortable speaking with Dean and Lindsey on the landing. Ella tugged on Rory’s sleeve, muttering something about finding Lane and leaving the drums to pick up later. A scowl crossed her face the moment she looked back to see Jess.

“Did he do something, Ella?” Dean piped up, towering over her and casting an authoritative glance at Jess.

Ella snorted a laugh and shook her head. “You can stand down, Dean. He did nothing. Nothing at all. Fuck off, alright, Mariano?”

Catching the finitive, vitriolic tone in Ella’s voice, Jess shook his head back at her. Apparently she had decided the conversation was over. “Right back at ya, then, Stevens.”

But as he went to leave, Dean kicked into action. Before Ella, Rory, or Lindsey, could grab him and pull him back, he went into full testosterone rage and lunged after Jess, turning him about and clocking him square across the face. Ella watched in horror, and immediately went after them. Confusion painted her face. She heard Dean muttering under his breath as he fought, about what an asshole Jess was, about how Rory’s friends were his responsibility too, and they shouldn’t be spoken to that way. About how it was time Jess got a taste of his own medicine, making him feel like an idiot in class and acting like he was too good for Stars Hollow. She’d never had any classes with Dean and Jess, but the altercation made her wonder how deeply the feud ran. Apparently, much deeper than she ever thought. If not for the urgency of the situation, Ella would have rolled her eyes harder than she had prior known was humanly possible. She couldn’t help but wonder what at all Rory or Lindsey saw in that sexist prick. In Ella’s opinion, the Donna Reed Show incident two years earlier should’ve been the end of the relationship.

All around the house, they fought, various others trying to pull them off of each other. Each time Ella thought she had an opening to grab Dean or Jess around the waist, they moved, jostling around. It was far more intense than the quarrel in the schoolyard had been. No, tonight there would be blood drawn. Finally, after a decent amount of carnage to the mid-century Connecticut two-story, someone managed to throw the two of them out onto the front lawn, still at each other’s throats. Ella yelled endlessly for them to stop, but neither listened. Only the sound of the police sirens approaching, red and blue lights flashing on the manicured grass, finally made them separate, a few boys at the party also aiding the effort.

Just as Ella started rushing over to Jess, Lane began vomiting up the shitty keg beer she’d gulped down all night long into the trimmed bushes. Rory was by her side, but ultimately Ella cast only a sympathetic glance their way before continuing after Jess. She caught up with him a few paces down the sidewalk, grabbing the sleeve of his t-shirt to finally stop him.

“Jess, Jesus, are you okay?” she demanded, trying to get a substantial glimpse at his face.

Once again, he shook off her touch. He turned back to her in the light of the sheriff’s car, eyes darker than she had ever seen them. “Get outta here, Eleanor! I don’t need your help!”

“But, your-”

“Stop, Elle, just stop!” he interrupted, gesturing with his arms and practically bursting with anger. “Stop chasing after me! Stop trying to help me! That’s over! I don’t need it, alright? You can just fucking stop!”

Clutching at her necklace, she felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach, gluing her to the spot where she stood, hazel eyes impossibly wide. Watching him go, watching him disappear around a corner, watching him walk away. And the worst part was how unsurprised she felt. Had it always been this way? Him ready to leave at a moment’s notice, and her stuck in her old, familiar ways? Were they bound to end the moment they began? She should have seen it sooner. Suddenly, the sounds of the siren and the singing of late spring crickets overwhelmed her ears, and she could do nothing but stand motionless, feeling a sharp crack in her heart.

[dancesontheedge]

An age and a half ago, @tavsancuk tagged me in a 10 characters in 10 fandoms meme.  I am finally filling it.  I have laid myself some ground rules.  I will choose and present to you, in no particular order, my ten favorite male characters.  I will also include explanations for my picks.  I am strongly considering doing a mirror post with my ten favorite female characters with explanations.  Also, some of them are coming with fic recs.  Sorry not sorry.  Most of those recs will route you to FFN.  That, I am a little sorry about.  Since this is explanation heavy, I’ll put it under a read more.

Finn (Star Wars) This fabulous man turns his back on everything he has ever been taught because he realized it was wrong.  He broke more than a decade’s worth of programming to free Poe Dameron, and then he went back for Rey despite his fear of the First Order.  That takes serious guts, and I have so much respect for his character.

have you heard by peradi Finn sparks a stormtrooper revolution.

Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls) Jess grew so much over the course of the series.  We did not get to see most of it happening, but he went from a really messed up, angry at the world teenager to a well-adjusted and very successful adult (based on what we’ve seen).  Also, though he and Rory had their issues as a couple, he was the only one of her boyfriends who she did not feel the need to change for.

Of Books and Music by once-was-serendipity.  Instead of cutting off all contact with Rory when he left in season 3, Jess sent books with his margin-notes to Rory.  We see him deal with all of his shit. Pay the Piper by Iscah McKrae.  Immediately after Rory’s disastrous visit to Philadelphia, Shane contacts Jess to tell him they have a daughter who she wants not part of.  Jess winds up taking full custody.  Incomplete. Truths Universally Acknowledged by 12cubed.  A Jane Austen report assigned by Mr. Medina spirals out of control as Taylor announces a Jane Austen festival.  Season 2 style Rory/Jess pining. Tide and Moon by once-was-serendipity.  Jess and Rory’s relationship over seasons 2 and 3 plays out a bit differently.  Mostly, Jess get’s his shit together earlier.  Incomplete.

Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) Over the course of the series, Zuko realized that his father was evil and everything he had been taught (by someone not-Uncle-Iroh) was either a lie or immoral.  Once he finished being in denial about it, he took action, ultimately changing sides and working to atone for the wrong he had done when he still believed in his father.

Embers by Vathara.  At the beginning of season 2, Zuko discovers the secret of healing fire, and then things get super AU, super fast.  Lots of worldbuilding, and I swear to god this author’s a goddess.  Has been described as “Atla in the style of Game of Thrones, minus the sex” Mismatched by Kimberly T. In season 1, Zuko discovers an Earth Kingdom baby with mismatched eyes.  Because local superstition claims the baby is a witch-child and bad luck because of it, Zuko adopts him.  This speeds his realization that everything he knows is wrong by quite a bit. Incomplete. Second Nature by lazyartisan.  At the end of season 1, Zuko is captured at the North Pole.  Angst ensues.  Essentially, the author upped the stakes and ignored the “kids show” genre.  Incomplete-ish.  The author told the story she wanted to tell, but ends the story at the end of season 2 rather than resolving everything.  She may eventually update again, she may not. Another Brother by AvocadoLove.  Zuko was scarred much younger than in canon and is found by Chief Hakoda almost dead on a Fire Navy ship.  Hakoda takes him in, and he is raised in the Southern Water Tribe alongside Sokka and Katara.

Steve Rogers (MCU) Steve Rogers’ moral compass is so on point it’s honestly terrifying.  His entire morality basically boils down to “I don’t like bullies or trust the people in power not to be bullies,” and honestly that’s the kind of role model we all could use.  He is uncompromising, but he’s right with an alarming consistency.  And he’s genuine, which warms the cockles of my own way-too-honest heart.  (It should, perhaps, be noted that this is why Benjamin Tallmadge is my favorite Turn character and that these traits are reflected in one of my most formative female characters, Keladry of Mindelen.)

Serenade by CSI Clue. Happy fic.  Steve gets a girlfriend and everything is adorable. Choice is Not a Word a Bullet Knows series by bomberqueen17.  Winter Soldier followup, so much poly capfam, at least one really awesome OC. A Pretty Boy with a Bird Tattoo by Kryptaria and rayvanfox.  Steve/Bucky/Nat OT3, punk college AU.  My favorite of their collaborative works (because Nat), but their other stuff (stucky, all of it) is super awesome too.  Source Code by Closer.  Steve is tired of everyone thinking he’s a robot clone or whatever the conspiracy theory of the week is. Freezer Burn series by Domenika Marzione.  Comics/MCU mashup that follows a different Avenger in each of the major stories. Freezer Burn follows Steve, Thaw follows Clint, Revenant follows Nat.

Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) Spencer Reid gets put through such shit by the Criminal Minds writers (and the fandom, honestly.  We love to watch him suffer), but he continues to be dedicated to justice and peaceful solutions.  In addition, he is one of the biggest nerds and genius’ on TV, and is generally way less obnoxious and improbable about it than others of his type.  It should be noted that I am not up to date on this show, having missed almost every episode that aired while I was at University, and that I am refusing to watch the current Reid-in-prison-without-his-memory arc.  Because that was a bridge too far.

Foxtrot Whiskey Bravo by Kuria Dalmatia.  Reid and Elle have a friends with benefits relationship.  Very unangsty for my possible Reid picks. The Comstock King’s Daughter by TheKnittingLady.  Reid/OC.  Reid and his date get kidnapped by an Unsub, things go better than they could.  The least depressing/angsty story by this author, the story by this author requiring the fewest content/trigger warnings.  This author is *very* good, but her work is pretty messed up.  Writes almost exclusively Reid-centrics, usually Reid/OC. Liar by Addicted Archangel.  Reid is imprisoned for a crime he did not commit.  Somehow not as angsty/whumpy as the current canon storyline.  Begins with his conviction, ends with his release.

Gilbert Blythe (Anne of Green Gables) Honestly, who doesn’t love Gilbert?  Pining away for Anne and being generally adorable.  No long winded explanation here, but can we all just take a second, think of Gilbert Blythe, and smile?

Blythe Spirit and Unromantic Ideal by Morte Rouge.  The first three books of the Anne of Green Gables Series from Gilbert’s POV.  I promise it’s not repetitive.  Some grammar issues.

Christopher Perry/Halliwell (Charmed) This tortured soul happens to fall right in the middle of one of my favorite tropes: Time Travel.  Chris travels back in time to prevent his older brother, the most powerful witch to ever live, from turning evil and taking over the world.  He lost literally everyone, led the resistance, watched his brother kill his fiance, and when he went back in time was hated by the younger versions of his family for being so driven and not letting them have a life and also for breaking up his mother and father (they, of course, did not know who he was). Also, he’s a sarcastic little shit.  It’s like he’s the definition of my preferred angst-button.

A Pair of Ragged Claws by cunneware.  Wyatt’s most deadly assassin arrives from the future.  It is revealed that she has been magically enslaved by Wyatt, and when that magic is lifted, she decides to aid Chris in his mission to prevent Wyatt from turning evil.  Ultimately, it is revealed that Chris is the sisters’ son/nephew. The Last Horcrux by Stonage Woman.  Crossover with Harry Potter, AU from book 6.  Taking place in the original future where Wyatt is evil, with all the accompanying super-depressing things that come along with that.  Harry is in his 40s, still fighting Voldemort, and essentially adopts Chris.  If you would like to know where my angst-o-meter sits, this one registers at like an 8 of 10.

Edmund Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia) Edmund is generally a shit in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.  Nobody will argue that point with you.  What’s important to me is how he grows.  He decides to become worthy of Aslan’s sacrifice.  He decides to live up to his sobriquet “The Just.”  He acts to atone for his selfishness and live a life of service.

Harold and Morgan: Not a Romance by rthstewart.  This is super a romance.  Edmund got married in Narnia to a banker from the Lone Islands.  It’s adorable, and I’m quite convinced she’s on the autism spectrum. The Stone Gryphon ‘verse by rthstewart.  The Pevensies deal with being back in WWII England, mostly by being ridiculously badass. Not a whole ton of Edmund yet, but it’s awesome, I love everything about it, and could hardly write Narnia recs and not include it. Letting Go by Lirenel.  Prince Caspian AU in which Edmund arrives separately from and substantially before his siblings because he wasn’t holding their hands at the train station. The Ledbury Run by Maddy Carr. Back in England, Edmund and Peter participate in a cross-country race and find in their path a downed German paratrooper.

Simon Tam (Firefly) Simon had it all.  He had money, he had his dream career, he had parents who were pleased as punch to have him as their son.  He gave it all up to rescue his sister from government experimentation and subsequently became a fugitive.  He has some trouble adjusting, as you can imagine, from golden child to desperate man on the edges of society, but he never considers going back.  Not once.  Because his sister was more important to him than all the accolades he could earn.

Alec Hardison (Leverage) Hardison is a hardened criminal.  Ish.  He takes immense pride in his hacking ability and would be offended if I said he was one of the best in the business.  Because he’s the best. But really, Hardison’s a soft touch.  He was the one most easily convinced to join the Leverage team and use his crime powers for good.  His first heist? Hacking into the Bank of Iceland to pay his Nana’s medical bills.  He decided that the Leverage crew was his family, and promptly adopted them all.  He’s the team-builder, the block they all built on.  He provided the space, he provided the nurturing eye, he paid attention to what his team members wanted and gave it to them.  Though he’s a criminal, he’s the moral center of the Leverage crew.  Also he’s a giant nerd and completely hilarious.

The Justice League Job by Eatsscissors.  Casefic about a stolen comic book. Hardison/Parker.