#jess didn't have a say in getting that apartment or not) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

babeyun · 1 month ago

Text

out of my head ✮ l.hs [m]

✮ synopsis: years after your friendship with heeseung has begun crumbling, you ask him to be part of one of the biggest days of your life - your wedding day.

✮ genre: estranged best friends to ??? ; semi-unrequited lovers au ; angst ; fluff

✮ pairing: singer!lee heeseung x financial advisor!fem!reader ; sim jaeyun x reader

✮ word count: 10.4k (yikes...)

✮ rating: nc-17.

✮ warning(s): ...kissing? lol? a lot of hurt with no comfort, semi-unrequited lovers, wedding superstitions, mentions of having kids.

✮ playlist: off my face - justin bieber ; are we still friends? - tyler, the creator ; your eyes only - enhypen ; this is why i need you - jesse ruben.

✮ a/n: i'm a yapper sorry, but happiest birthday to heeseung <3 that's my pookie! i love u.

four months ago.

"you're getting married?"

you and heeseung had been best friends for nearly twenty years. the two of you met at a park during a winter storm, both of you having begged your mothers for a chance to go see the snow. a coincidence really, the two of you having somehow lived the same experience (one that heeseung was convinced was fate, while you just boiled it down to two four-year-old kids giving into the natural urge to plunge their grubby little fingers into cold, unforgiving snow.)

however, in the last few years, you'd grown apart.

you were freshly out of university, and heeseung had recently taken a job as a backup vocalist for one of the local entertainment companies. he'd been a singer his entire life, something you never allowed yourself to pick up because your mother had always taught you that safety nets were better. while heeseung openly explored his talents, eventually learning guitar and slowly, piano - you buried yourself in mathematical equations that made your brain hurt but forced yourself through it all because, after all, you needed a plan.

heeseung lived life on the edge. he didn't care if he had money, if he had belongings - life was more than that to him. he ventured out into the city with nothing but his headphones sometimes, not even so much as bothering to bring an umbrella if it looked like rain. "if i get soaked, i get soaked! life is more than staying inside with your head heavy from studying." he told you once, and you had just shaken your head.

"come on, y/n! don't you want to dance in the rain? don't you want to risk getting sick and having your mom make you that soup you really like? live a little, life is too short to waste away in our bedrooms." he tugged you out of your house that day, making you leave your phone behind as you trekked the entire city by foot, and once the rain did start falling, you were a mile from your house. "heeseung, i can't get sick! i have a presentation–"

"screw that presentation! live in the now!" he held you close as the rain pelted your backs, spinning you around as your laughter echoed in the neighborhood. "isn't this fun! aren't you enjoying this newfound freedom, no expectations? no logarithms, no polynomials!" he exclaimed, making you only laugh harder. "hee, i'm a finance major. that is fun for me!"

"and i'm a y/n major, i know you fucking hate math!" he giggled as he set you down, his fingers brushing your wet hair off your face. "i don't have things like you do, hee! i need a plan, i need something to fall back on. you work to make money to invest into yourself, you don't follow dreams!" you say as the two of you make the route back to your house, making him scoff.

"are you saying i'm wasting my time living the way i do?" he asked, a twang of hurt in his voice going unnoticed by you as you nodded. "i do. i think you are wasting your potential." your words pierced him, but he said nothing more as the two of you reached your mom's house. "see you later, hee."

"see you later."

that had happened three years ago. heeseung noticeably distanced himself after that day, limiting your hangouts to once a week instead of dropping by whenever he felt like it. soon, what were weekly hangouts became biweekly, before you were only meeting him for dinner on a random wednesday night in the middle of the month. you never asked so he never explained, and he simply assumed your silence on the subject meant that your puzzle of a life no longer had a need for a lee heeseung-shaped piece.

it pained him to think that you were outgrowing him.

heeseung was taking classes while working, having finally let your words get to him. you were right, in a way - he couldn't live his life on the edge forever, but the fact that you actually said that to him after constantly reassuring him that you believed in him was...unexpected, to say the least.

"she's just worried about you, hee." his older brother rattled, and heeseung shook his head. he had long told him about that day, and continued to try and decipher it for the years after. he didn’t really understand why it bothered him so much, but his only guess was the same — you had pretended to have an interest in his life, but yet, just like everyone else…

…you had no faith in him.

“yes, hee, i’m getting married! focus!” you tapped your pen on the notepad in front of you, the ice in your matcha long melted. heeseung was gripping his mug of hot chocolate for dear life, wondering where he missed the fact that you were even in a relationship to begin with. “i didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, forgive me for being curious.” he scoffs, making you roll your eyes.

“you would know if you answered any of my calls.” you say pointedly, making him groan. “okay, sorry i’ve been so absent from your life. what’s this guy’s name anyway?”

“sim jaeyun. you can call him jake.” you scribble something onto the notepad, before tearing it off and handing it to him. “this is his number, you’re going to have to talk to him at some point for what i’m about to ask you.”

your smile is mischievous, one that heeseung could never forget. it was engraved in his memory, it lit up his dreams and haunted his nightmares. the same smile he’s written endless lyrics about, the same smile he’s fallen in love with but refused to admit it.

“y/n, i haven’t seen you in six months. how can someone possibly gauge if a person is marriage material in such a short time?” he argues as he folds the scrap of yellow paper. you huff with a frustrated look on your face, “jaeyun and i have been seeing each other for a year! we made it official nine months ago, and we’ve been engaged for three months! i told you this already!”

“when the fuck did you even mention him!?” he groans, and you click your pen angrily.

"hee, if you hadn't been so focused on your own life, you'd be up to date with mine." grimacing, you reach into the knapsack you brought with you. pulling out a pink binder, you set it on the table, facing him. the paper sheet behind the vinyl reads the sims - may 2026.

he snorts inwardly, before you open the binder. "i know we haven't been as close as we'd like the past few years." you start, clearing your throat as he glances at you. you pull apart the binder rings, pulling out a folder as you continue to speak. "but, i know that you're still doing the singing thing, and i wanted to offer you a gig."

sliding the folder across to him, he glances down at it. it's thick with pieces of printer paper, lyrics typed neatly in times new roman. he recognizes the first song as he slips it out of the folder, his eyes scanning the sheet over and over.

"you want me to sing at your wedding?" he asks incredulously, and you take a sip of your watered down matcha. you press your lips together as you nod, staring at your fingers. "i showed jaeyun some clips of yours from a few of your other gigs, and he really liked it. this is our song, and we want you to sing it for our first dance." you tap the paper with your pen, and heeseung sighs.

"then why are we here alone? why isn't he here, showing face and asking me with you?" he accuses, and your frown is deep enough that he's sure you're about to throw your drink at him. "he's at work, if you must know. he's busy."

"and what does he work in that he can't come with his future wife to a measly two-hour lunch?" he taps his finger on the table, his eyes boring into yours, searching for any sign of the best friend he'd become estranged from. you weren't there.

"he's..." you bite your lip, staring at whatever was behind him in order not to meet his eyes. he looks at you pointedly, brows raised in expectation - a look he'd always hated from other people. you grimace before responding. "he's a singer, he's recording his album right now." heeseung blinks slowly, something you knew meant he was about to either get up and leave, or he was going to scold you once he processed the information. your best friend was nothing short of an open book, but as he looked down at the sheet in his hand and shook his head, you suddenly couldn't read him anymore.

"after all the shit you gave me." his tongue drips with poison before he shoves the sheet of paper back in the folder, tapping it with his hand before grimacing. "when is the wedding? do i have to be there for the whole thing?" his eyes are full of fire as he stares at you, and you can feel yourself shrink under his gaze. heeseung was rarely ever mad at you, even during these years of estrangement. you were never really on the receiving end of his anger, so you never handled it. "may second. you don't have to stay, if you don't want to. but i'd love for you to be there." your words are softer than you intended, and you can really feel the tug on the invisible string that ties the two of you together.

he nods, pressing his lips together as you watch his eyes brim with tears. "okay." he looks away as the first tear falls, wiping it away quickly before getting up. "just…send me the address when the time comes." he tucks the folder under his arm as he quickly walks away, trying not to let any more tears fall as he exits the cafe.

he can't help but hold everything in as he walks to his apartment, his mind spinning with potential thoughts. when did you get so far? how did he let you stray so deeply, and where did you even meet this guy? why didn't you tell him sooner? or did you, and he just blocked it out? he can't remember, no matter how hard he skims his memory. "fuck!" he screams as he slams his door shut, throwing the folder onto the table in the foyer.

he slides down the door, a sinking feeling taking over his stomach as he hits the cold tile. he can't help but sob into his hands, his shoulders shaking violently as he does. you're getting married and he missed the entire thing, he's missed the past year of your life and has no remorse in doing so. he only feels sorry now, now that he's realized he's too late.

april 30.

heeseung was increasingly stressed.

you had told him over text (because he wouldn't answer your calls) that he had to take the week off so he could participate in bonding activities with your fiancé's groomsmen. he'd been reluctant, and said he'd get there the thursday before the wedding, nothing sooner – making you upset. he didn't care, he wouldn't lie to himself – he felt betrayed that you were getting married to someone else. it was childish of him and he knew it, but as he aimlessly wandered jeju island alone – it only sank deeper into his bones that he had truly fucked up.

he didn't bother to bond with any of your bridesmaids, either – despite their starry eyes and warm smiles, he could only see the dread in your eyes, the twitch in your lower lip as you greeted your guests with your fiancé. he kept his hand on your lower back at all times, and heeseung wonders if jake knows that he did that in the past. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he held your hand as you both skipped through the sand on family vacations with your families, heeseung wonders if jake knows that he shared a bed with you on nights where thunderstorms would scare you out of your sleep and heeseung would run the three blocks to your house to comfort you.

heeseung wonders if jake knows that he was your first kiss, in the back of heeseung's '96 civic when you were both juniors in high school. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he is in love with you, and that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop.

not that jake knowing any of this would matter, because come saturday night, you'd be out of his grasp forever. he would never place his hand on the small of your back to ease your nerves, he would never hold your hand, he would never share a bed with you. he would never kiss you again, and he'd rather never see you again if it were up to him.

but it wasn't, was it? "heeseung! you made it!"

heeseung turns to see park sunghoon walking towards him with his hand shielding his eyes from the sun. "oh shit, hey! i didn't think you and y/n kept in touch after high school, it's great to see you." heeseung greets him, and sunghoon snorts.

"we didn't, actually. jaeyun and i go way back." sunghoon nods. sunghoon had been a friend of the two of you, but it was hard to keep in touch due to his prominent ice skating career. he was always busy, and it was easier to cut ropes than continuously make promises to see each other only to fall short.

"i'm sorry i didn't reach out more." heeseung starts, but sunghoon shakes his head. "don't even worry about it! my life was too crazy to keep tabs on everybody." sunghoon shakes his head, and heeseung tilts his head at him. "was?" sunghoon shifts in the sand, picking his cuticles as he sighs. "i had to quit, i got injured pretty badly during the finale of my last competition. i won, though, so at least i went out with a bang." he shrugs, and heeseung can see the disappointment in his eyes before offering a hug. "i'm sorry, hoon. that really fucking sucks."

sunghoon rejects the hug with a shake of his head. "it's fine, i'm doing other things now. i work as a backup vocalist for jake, me and jay. oh, jay's here, too! have you seen him?" sunghoon gestures to the air, and heeseung offers a small smile before shaking his head. "haven't seen him yet. to be honest, i don't want to be here." heeseung's confession, if surprising, doesn't seem to faze sunghoon. instead, the younger boy nods. "i figured you wouldn't. you're singing for them, right? i heard through the grapevine." sunghoon smirks, and heeseung rolls his eyes before lightly punching his arm. "stop lying, you brat. you read it on the wedding program."

sunghoon gives him a soft pat on the back, before leaning closer. "she wasn't going to wait forever, heeseung." with a curt nod, sunghoon continues down the beach towards the resort, leaving heeseung with wide eyes and a heavy heart. what did he mean by that?

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

the night was heavy as the last of your guests straggled in, and your feet were swelling in your shoes from standing for so long. jake had offered to take over as you went up to your room to change them, and you were internally thanking him as you hobbled to the elevator.

only for you to arrive and see your best friend waiting there calmly, headphones over his ears as he softly nods along to whatever is playing. he looks up when the elevator finally opens, completely oblivious to your lingering presence behind him. it's only when you get in after him, feeling the shift of the elevator's floor, that he looks at you.

his eyes are unreadable as he skims them over your face, a soft tilt to his head before he presses button six, hand hovering over the button as he waits for you to speak. you put up five fingers, and he presses it carefully as the doors close. it's silent, and for the first time ever since you were four years old, heeseung feels like a stranger. a polite stranger that presses the elevator button for you, that has come all the way from seoul on a ferry to sing at his estranged best friend's wedding.

except he's not a stranger, and you're the estranged best friend getting married this weekend. you're the estranged best friend who lied about your fiancé being excited for him to sing your first dance song, and you're the estranged best friend who wants it to hurt him. you want it to hurt, seeing you dance with your soon-to-be husband all night, you want it to burn in his chest when the two of you kiss at the end of the aisle.

you want him to ache as badly as you did when he basically abandoned you for no good reason. you want him to stay up all night in tears like you did when he wouldn't answer your calls, you want him to rant passionately about you to whoever gets the privilege of being his girlfriend like you did to jake when the two of you first started dating, and you want him to ignore the questions of if you're in love with each other.

just like you did.

loving heeseung was a thing of the past. he was out of your heart and out of your head, for the most part. you only ever thought of him when you'd talk to jake about old high school stories, skipping over the parts where you and heeseung shared loving caresses that the two of you convinced yourselves were nothing more than platonic. it didn't matter now, though, because there was no piece shaped like you in heeseung's puzzling life anymore.

you love jake. he's your endgame, and you're glad to be marrying him.

"are you excited? big day soon." he says gently, and you can feel your stomach turn as he nudges you with his elbow. you nod, a small smile on your lips as you glance down at your engagement ring. jake had it custom made, a marquise diamond nestled onto a thick gold band. it was a little tight, but you promised yourself you'd get it resized after the wedding.

"very excited. are you nervous? about your performance, i mean?" you ask, genuine concern in your voice as he shakes his head. "just another gig, really. it's special to you, though, so i've been putting my all into the rehearsals." he itches his neck, a nervous tick you'd picked up on through the years. you nod, patting his shoulder gently. the conversation stops as the elevator does, the number five on the elevator's neon sign.

"my stop. i'll see you at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow, right? you need to be there." your eyes are pleading, and heeseung can't help but sigh. "i'll try."

the answer doesn't seem to satisfy you, but you nod anyway, turning on your heels to go to your room. the doors close, and he lets out a shaky breath. you're very excited to marry sim jaeyun in less than thirty-six hours. you're very excited to be mrs. sim, you're very excited to have your first dance with your husband to the sound of your best friend's voice singing the song that reminds you and jake of your relationship.

a song that insinuates the two of you are unbelievably high off each other in every which way, and how ruined one of you has made the other for anybody else. but this song doesn't take into consideration how he is ruined for anyone else, how he is in pieces at the mere thought of you wearing white while meeting someone else down the aisle.

he doesn't want to feel like that anymore.

may 01.

"hey! you must be heeseung, i've been waiting forever to meet you!"

heeseung doesn't recognize the voice as he turns, eyes swollen with sleep when he looks to see you, and who he presumes to be sim jaeyun. he nods absently, before glancing at his cup of hot water. he'd stumbled down to the hotel's complimentary lounge, a packet of fennel mint tea in his hand.

"give me a moment, i'm sorry. i'm barely here." he apologizes sheepishly, tearing the bag open and dipping the bag into the cup. he wipes at his eyes once more, before turning to face a smiling jake. "you're jaeyun, right? nice to finally meet you man, y/n has said some awesome things about you."

lies. heeseung doesn't remember a single thing you have ever said about jake, just that he's a singer. but out of courtesy, and jake's business-like grip on his hand, he smiles through it anyway. "i heard that you asked for me specifically. your wedding song is beautiful." heeseung sees you wince out of the corner of his eye as jake looks a bit taken aback. he tilts his head slightly, but goes along with what heeseung now knows is a lie. "i'm glad you could make it. y/n talks a lot about your singing skills, are you working on any projects right now?" your face is pained as heeseung looks you dead in the eyes, "no, i'm just a backup vocalist. i gave up on that dream a while ago." he looks back at jake, who has a sad smile on his face. "the fame, the money…i was never suited for that life, anyway." "i'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you." jake sounds genuine, a flash of sadness in his eyes as he shakes heeseung's hand again. "i hope to see you at the rehearsal tonight. have you got a girlfriend? there'll be quite a few people at our singles' table." jake wiggles his brows and heeseung wonders when you're going to speak.

"actually, heeseung won't be able to stay. he's got another gig on sunday." you lie, and jake's eyes widen. "oh, you'll be missing our reception?" "i'll be leaving right after your dance, i do sincerely apologize." heeseung gives jake a sheepish grin, to which jake nods slowly. "that's unfortunate, there's a lot of people you could network with here! take advantage of it, dreams are meant to become reality." jake finalizes, before giving heeseung another warm smile.

"i will do my best! thank you for having me." heeseung says, and you can feel the fake tone of happiness in his voice seep into your bones. you'd been the only person to ever recognize it, and heeseung knows you're aware he used it as he takes the tea bag out of his mug. "i will see you both tonight."

he spins on his heel as he hears jake whisper to you.

"you asked him to sing our song? when? why didn't you tell me?" "we can talk about this later, okay? he's really good, i promise."

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

your mother had been staring at heeseung for the last fifteen minutes, and heeseung was almost sure she was trying to figure out if he was who she thought he was. he gave her a small smile and waved, and the moment her eyes lit up, the person in front of her turned.

jake. he frowns as she walks away from him mid-conversation, stumbling over only moments before the rehearsal dinner is set to start.

"sorry, sweetie. i didn't know you and my y/n finally made up! it's so good to see you!" her embrace is crushing, and heeseung doesn't have the heart to tell your mother that you're a horrible liar. you hadn't 'made up' – he was simply doing you a favor, something else you'd lied about. he just smiles as she pulls back, ruffling his hair gently. "love the red, it really suits you." "thank you, auntie. it's nice to see you again." he remains relaxed as he sees her eyes soften. "what's wrong? not ready to see your little girl walk down the aisle?" he teases, and the older woman sighs inwardly. she turns, her shoulder brushing his as they stare into the room full of tipsy bridesmaids and boisterous groomsmen. "if i admit something to you, you'll keep it quiet, right?" she murmurs, and heeseung suddenly feels like this conversation isn't going to be one that favors his unruly feelings for you. "of course, auntie. who am i to tell?" "i always thought you'd be the one to marry my y/n." she sighs, clasping her hands in front of her as her eyes watch jake speaking to you gently as he hands you a glass of wine. heeseung's eyes follow hers and the two of them can see as your face falls and jake quickly moves to hide you from any lingering gazes. "i should go see what's wrong. it's nice to see you, heeseung. please enjoy the wedding!" he nods as your mother quickly crosses the room, her arm around you as jake gets pushed to entertain the guests while you get taken care of. jake looks nervous, and heeseung can't seem to stop his body as he also crosses the room, a small smile on his face. "good evening, jake." "oh, hey! how are you liking the venue so far?" a small flash of relief passes onto his face, and heeseung feels guilty as he shrugs. "it's what i expected for someone like y/n. so floral, so bright. are you sure you had any part in this?" he snickers, and jake laughs genuinely.

"she wouldn't let me even look at the flowers with her. babe, you're going to pick the wrong ones!" he imitates you, and heeseung shakes his head in amusement. you'd always been a bit of a control freak when it came to your visions, and now that your life revolved around financial decisions, you were wound up extra tight. "yeah, she's always been like that." he sighs, and jake doesn't miss the slight tone of sadness.

"listen, i don't know you very well," jake starts, reaching for a bottle of cabernet across the table. he grabs two glasses, uncorking the wine as he leans to pour. "but i want to say thank you." he holds the wine out to heeseung, and he tries not to look curious as he takes it.

"thank you for what?" heeseung asks, and jake gives him a pointed look as he blindly pours his own glass.

"for taking care of y/n all these years. i know you and i probably won't be the best of friends, i'm the first to admit that i'm not very good at sharing her attention." jake grimaces to himself as he replaces the cork into the bottle. "but i'm glad that she has someone as reliable as you, that can just… be there for her. it's a beautiful thing, your friendship."

heeseung almost feels nauseous as jake continues talking about how sweet your lifelong friendship with him seems. it just confirms that you told jake everything and anything you could about it, and based on his mention of jealousy, that includes the first kiss you shared. he can barely hear jake over the sound of his heart beating in his ears, but understands enough when jake pats his shoulder.

"...and i figured i'd be honest. y/n didn't say anything about you singing our song, we had originally planned for sunghoon to sing it with the band we hired. i guess she thought you'd be better for it, and i trust her judgment." jake says, pulling heeseung back in. "oh, i'm sorry." "don't even worry about it, man. hey, why don't you just relax, enjoy the dinner tonight. tomorrow is going to hit us like a fucking train, we should be well rested today." jake nods, and heeseung reciprocates with a gentle smile as someone else calls for jake's attention. "remember, just chill! network!" jake gestures to the room as he walks backwards towards the people looking for him.

heeseung can't shake the nausea from his throat, setting down the glass of wine to wander to the bathroom. but, the hall seems to get longer and longer, the temperature changing from the cold air conditioning to the humid spring air. he can feel a breeze in his hair, and then he realizes he's on the beach. his feet are buried in the warm sand, shoes in his hand.

sighing, he reminds himself he can't zone out like that all the time. it's not healthy, you had told him once. what if you end up in the middle of nowhere?

he reaches into his pocket, pulled out his spare headphones. he was supposed to bond with everyone at your stupid rehearsal dinner, but he didn't care to do so as he stared at the crashing waves. plugging the headphones into his phone, he gently speaks to siri as he lays on his back, looking up at the cloudless sky.

"hey, siri. play are we still friends? by tyler, the creator."

he stares into the water as the song pours into his ears. he doesn't know where things went to shit, but he knows it's his fault. he should've told you that what you said hurt his feelings. he should have communicated, then maybe it'd be him sitting next you in the private jet your mother rented solely for your honeymoon escape after the reception.

maybe it'd be him spinning you around in your beautiful wedding dress, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you dance the night away. maybe it would be him, like your mom had hoped. maybe it would be him, like he had hoped, too.

his fingers dig into the sand as he swallows the lump in his throat. there is nothing in hell, heaven or earth that would stop you from trekking the aisle tomorrow afternoon. nothing would stop jake from kissing you tenderly right in front of him, and doing it for the rest of your lives. it would taunt him, it would haunt him like the ghost of your friendship. you weren't friends anymore, the two of you knew it. things would never be the same between you, and yet, neither of you was brave enough to ask the question.

why?

"heeseung! are you out here?!" he can hear sunghoon's voice over the fourth replay of the song, lowering the volume as he tilts his head to find him. "over here, what's up?" "what's up? they're waiting for you, man!" sunghoon is standing in the doorway of the resort, the soft breeze blowing his hair back as a bridesmaid also peers over his shoulder. heeseung sighs as he stands, wiping his pants of sand and shoving his phone into his pocket. he walks quickly, humming quietly to himself to semi-prepare his voice for the perfect delivery of the song you wanted him to sing.

everyone is chatting quietly around the tables as heeseung steps inside, running his fingers through his hair as he walks forward. your mother catches his eye, a concerned look on her face, but he can't hold eye contact. he faces the floor as he reaches the small stage the venue has set up for the band, jay perched on a stool holding a guitar.

"hey, hee. you ready?" he asks as he tucks in his in-ear monitor, and heeseung shrugs as he takes his place behind the microphone. only then does he notice that the chatter he heard was just two bridesmaids, kim sunoo, riki nishimura and yang jungwon – all friends of yours and jake's that he hadn't bothered to meet further than reading their names in the program.

he watches silently as you and jake take the center of the dance floor, your eyes slightly reddened as you gingerly drape your arms over your fiancé. your smile doesn't fill your cheeks as jay begins playing softly.

heeseung takes a deep breath, and your eyes catch him as he begins to sing.

one touch, and you've got me stoned. higher than i've ever known…

you were both thirteen.

he remembers the way you held onto him the night that you lost your first mathletes competition. you cried so hard that you'd almost thrown up, and heeseung could only soothe you by dragging you to the nearest convenience store and shoving a melona popsicle in your hand. you went silent after that, gripping his hand tightly as he walked you home. you'd squeezed his hand three times that night, something he'd always done but you'd roll your eyes at.

"why would i squeeze your hand when i can just tell you, hee?"

you call the shots and i'll follow. sunrise, but the night's still young…

you were both seventeen.

he remembers when you called him to come over while it was storming, because your mother was out of town. your house was a little over a mile away and normally, he didn't mind the walk. it was almost three in the morning, and he'd been sleeping when your ringtone went off for the third time. "hello?" "hee, please come over. it's storming so bad, i'm so–"

he hadn't even let you finish before ripping his bedsheets off his body and sprinting for the door. his clothes, his shoes, everything was soaking wet by the time he got to your house. you'd embraced him anyway, your own clothes soaking through as he trudged into your home – only for the storm to stop a few moments after his arrival.

no words, but we're speaking tongues. if you let me, i might say too much…

you were both twenty.

he remembers when you asked him, in the middle of your kitchen during your graduation party, if he could kiss you. the house was empty except for the two of you – his parents and your mom had decided to throw a joint party, using the excuse that two best friends should always stick together. your mom had sent you inside for more hor d'oeuvres, and you'd dragged him inside with the excuse that you couldn't carry them all yourself.

"you don't have to, hee. i'm sorry." your eyes were full of embarrassment as heeseung stared at you, a bit in shock at your question. only as you begin to move further into the kitchen does he register what you've said, and grabs your arm, pulling you toward him. "ask me again, i'm sorry. i zoned out, i thought you asked me to kiss you."

"i did." you repeated quietly, and heeseung blinked twice before nodding. "o-okay. yeah, i can do that." he cleared his throat, looking over your shoulder into the foyer to ensure no one was opening the door.

"are you sure? i mean, it's your first kiss, wouldn't you want to have it with someone special?" he's rambling, and your gentle laugh pulls him right back.

"you are special, hee."

without another word, he backed you up against your kitchen counter, his hands on your hips as he softly kissed you. your hands were on his biceps, and he could feel your nervousness seep through your locked lips. he carefully circles your thighs to lift you onto the counter, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck before he breaks the kiss.

"how was that? okay?" his eyes searched yours, a shy smile playing on his swollen lips as you blinked. "uh, i'm not sure. i think–" "you want to try again?" his head tilted to the side, a habit you loved and eventually also caught. you nodded silently. his smile was wide as he closed the gap between the two of you, the hands on your thighs squeezing softly. once, twice, three times.

i love you.

your touch blurred my vision. it's your world, and i'm just in it…

you're both twenty one.

he remembers how he stared at his bedroom ceiling, clothes soaked in rain from prancing around the city with you. how piercing your words were, how he thought for so long that you believed in him. how all of these events he can't stop thinking about, are about you. how proud he was of you, how lucky he was to have you, how insane it was that you wanted him. you wanted him at one point.

how he didn't care that he got sick, but certainly didn't understand why your sore throat and stuffy nose didn't make him feel a pang of distress. how he didn't care that no one else was refuting his talent, because they weren't you. he didn't care about anyone else in this world, but you.

even sober, i'm not thinking straight…

you're both twenty two.

he remembers his birthday going abhorrently wrong. you weren't there, per usual – you were too wrapped up with school to give heeseung a second thought. he'd long realized that he didn't want to lose you, but it seemed that you no longer cared to keep the friendship alive. he still has the messages he sent you, and is still amazed at the lack of typos despite being absolutely shitfaced.

message to: my y/n <3 [2022.10.15 | 11:23pm] it's my birthday, baby. [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] you can't be here for me today? [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] i miss you. i miss our friendship. [2022.10.15 | 11:26pm] i can't believe you're missing my birthday. i never miss your birthdays. [2022.10.15 | 11:30pm] is this it? are we done? [2022.10.15 | 11:34pm] when will you come back to me? when, how much longer? [2022.10.15 | 11:35pm] when you graduate? i can wait. (not delivered!) [2022.10.15 | 11:47pm] just tell me how long. i'll wait. (not delivered!)[2022.10.16 | 12:02am] i'd wait forever for you (not delivered!)

he changed his number after that. he still doesn't know how you got his new one. he doesn't care to ask, either.

cause i'm off my face, in love with you…

you're both twenty five.

he's watching you slow dance with your fiancé, fingers interlaced behind his neck as jake's hands rest on your hips. he hates the jealousy that boils in his stomach, but doesn't bother to break eye contact with the tile on the ceiling with water damage.

i'm out my head, so into you…

he can feel his fingers tightening around the microphone stand, but can't seem to stop his eyes from averting as jake spins you gently, before your soft giggle hits his ears. you look up at jake with what he can only assume is adoration, before resting your cheek on his shoulder. you're looking right at heeseung, mouthing along to the song.

and i don't know how you do it…

you're fixing your posture instead, still staring at heeseung as jake takes your hand in his, kissing your knuckles. you instinctively smile at the feeling, and heeseung's eyes zero in on your fingers as you squeeze jake's hand.

once, twice, three times. i love you.

but i'm forever ruined by you, ooh, ooh, ooh.

"i love you." your eyes haven't left heeseung as you whisper the words, and you can see the way his eyes fill with fire as he looks away. you get a twisted feeling of satisfaction in your gut, before finally averting your eyes back to your fiancé. jake is smiling softly at you, and you quickly close the gap between you as heeseung continues to sing. your lips press against jake's smoothly, before he swiftly moves away. "i can't wait to marry you tomorrow." he whispers.

"me, too."

liar.

may 02.

the wedding is in twenty minutes.

your pantyhose has ripped, you tripped going up the stairs. you're not even wearing your dress yet. there are storm clouds gathering, and you can’t help but feel like everything in the universe is working against you. the only thing holding you together is your mother, her arms are wrapped tightly around you.

“are you sure we can’t just run away and elope?” you mumble into her shoulder, and your mother laughs. “not anymore. but,” she pulls away from you, cradling your face in her hands gently. “i love you, honey. everything will be okay.”

you hate the churn in your stomach at the word everything. because if everything were okay, it'd be sunny. if everything were okay, you'd be staring down an aisle full of people and only see heeseung at the end of it. if everything were okay, you would've never said yes to that first date.

“i love you.” you repeat, your hand resting on her wrists as you nod robotically. “i’ll see you out there, okay?”

“okay.” you breathe out shakily as she presses her lips to your hairline, lingering slightly before pulling away and leaving your room. you were alone now, and you glanced out the window at all the guests gathering on the beach. everyone is dressed so brightly, bunches of pinks and lilacs scattered across the sand. jake is waiting patiently at the end of the aisle, the forest green of his suit making his skin glow slightly brighter. how he does it, you don't know.

and then you see heeseung.

he’s dressed in black, despite the theme of the wedding being floral and natural. you grimace, forcing yourself to look away before spotting your dress hanging on the back of the door. you'd have to shimmy into it on your own, having sent everyone out in a fit of anxiety.

sighing, you unhook the heavy dress from the door, carefully letting the skirt pool on the floor as you step into it. it slides on perfectly, and you can't help but lose your breath at the sudden weight of the world on your chest. you're getting married, and you love jake.

but he'll never, ever be heeseung.

"tighten up, y/n. you've got this." you shake your head, reaching back and forcing the zipper up as high as you could. you had a hook-and-eye closure at the top, something you'd simply have to forego if you wanted to make it downstairs on time. groaning to yourself, you attempt to pull up the zipper just a bit more, before giving up and covering it with your veil. grabbing your bouquet, you give yourself a final glance in the mirror.

"you've got this. everything will be okay."

your voice is shaky, but you swing your room door open anyway – only to be met with heeseung on the other side. his eyes widen, mouth slightly agape as you come into his view. "wow, you look…" "what are you doing here? you're supposed to be downstairs." you scold, shoving your keycard into the pocket of your dress. oh yeah, you've got it like that. "your mom asked me to come see what was taking so long. i told her you'd be down soon, but she insisted." he shrugs, so nonchalantly.

like none of this is eating away at him.

"ugh, whatever. come on." your tone is angry, but your face shows nothing but fear. his eyes follow as you storm towards the elevator, seeing the zipper of your dress slowly sliding down as you reach the doors. "here, hold on."

his fingers move your veil carefully as you step into the elevator, before pulling the fabric tighter together and pulling the zipper to the top. he carefully clasps the closure, and you swear you feel every hair on your body sticking up when his fingertips gently graze your back. "don't touch me, heeseung."

"i'm trying to help you. otherwise, you'd flash that entire crowd." he scoffs, pressing the floor button. you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself as the elevator becomes silent. the tension is thick between you, you know it. your eyes never leave the neon sign, watching the floor numbers go by before heeseung reaches over and pulls the emergency lever.

"what the fuck are you doing?! i'm already late!" you gasp, hitting his arm with your bouquet when he stands in front of the lever. "i can't let you do this unless you hear what i have to say."

"heeseung, i'm getting married. this is the biggest day of my life–" your whining is cut short by his hand on your mouth, and only then do you see the unshed tears in his eyes. "the biggest day of my life was when i met you on that stupid playground. i never, ever in my life thought our friendship would end this way, and you know what, it makes me kind of sick."

he breathes deeply, removing his hand from your face as he sees the shock in your eyes. "you're saying you're already late to your big day, well i just want to say i beat you in that department. i've never had a problem with punctuality, but i really missed the mark on this one." his chuckle is dry, humorless as he looks at the bouquet in your hand. "i don't think i'll get over this, ever. i'll never get the chance to be in his place. but," he steps back, fingers gripping the emergency lever in his hand.

"i want you to know that it should be me. i should be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle. i should be the one who gets to love you until the end of my days, and even then, you'd never die. you'd be loved by me forever, the evidence strewn all over the world in compositions and lyrics. i would never let you die."

he pushes the lever back, before moving back to his original spot next to you. the elevator doors open, revealing an empty lobby. the storm clouds are no longer that far away, and you can feel the humidity through the open plan of the resort.

"i am foolishly, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. and i hope you realize this is the biggest mistake of your life." his voice is soft, as is his smile when he offers his hand. "here's to your forever, my love."

you say nothing.

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

if heeseung was anything, it was a sick bastard. a sick, rat bastard who had no shame. your mother took you from his arm at the end of the aisle, and you didn't even realize you'd allowed him to lead you there. jake's eyes shone with what could only be identified as jealousy.

he smiled the entire ceremony, clapping and whistling alongside your other guests through the vows. the sappy vows jake had penned were poetic compared to yours, but he knew what you meant anyway. you felt several fat raindrops plop onto your head and shoulders, while heeseung had come prepared and shared his umbrella with your mother.

he even helped her inside once the rain really started pouring, just after your first kiss as a married couple. your stomach was boiling over in fury as you watched him laugh with her, his eyes only meeting yours once with a soft smile.

you and jake slipped away to change into your reception clothing, his suit jacket abandoned and sleeves rolled up, showing off the watch you got him for his birthday. your ballroom white dress, now stained with sand, was traded in for an a-line style. jake met you in front of the resort, his fingers curled in yours when he finally spoke.

"we really did it, huh." he says quietly, his eyes scanning the shut doors of the reception venue. you nod, your breath caught in your throat when he takes a step back, his hand squeezing yours. "two years." your ears twitch at this. "what?" "all i ask for is two years. we can have a kid. we'll have an heir to our wills. we can get divorced after two years, and you can be with him." he breathes, eyes following the pattern on the heavy wooden door. you choke out a scoff of disbelief, your throat burning. "what the fuck are you talking about, jaeyun?" he winces at the use of his name, so used to gentle baby and sweetened honey. a sigh escapes his lips as he turns to face you. "i know you love him, y/n. you don't have to hide it from me. you wouldn't have brought him all the way out here, you wouldn't have gone behind my back and changed the plans for the band. your mom loves him, for crying out loud. i never stood a chance." he chuckles sadly, and your tears are hot as they flow down your face.

"how can you say that, jaeyun? i'm married to you, i've chosen you, over anything and anyone in this world! how can you say such things?!" your hurt is evident, but he can't figure out if it's because of the little blame game or if it's because you truly, deeply love him. he doesn't know what to say, but reaches to wipe your tears. you jerk away, a frown etched on your glossed lips as you wipe them yourself. you take a deep breath, grabbing the door knob.

"fix your face." you mutter, a tone jake had never received from you as he sighed, painting a smile of everything's okay on his face as the two of you threw the doors open in unison. your crowd of guests cheered loudly, rice flying everywhere as they welcomed you in. the band was loudly playing got to be real by cheryl lynn, and you almost forget jake's painful words behind the door. you almost forget that heeseung will be queueing up to sing for you and your husband, for free, on the very stage you're now standing in front of.

jungwon hands you a microphone and two champagne flutes, before slinking away to his seat. you hand one to jake, who swirls it nervously.

"wow, it's such an honor to have all of our loved ones here today." your voice is shaky as you take them all in, dozens of eyes staring you down. "i mean, i've waited for this day since i was a little girl. it's a blessing to finally see it in color, in person. thank you." jake breathes in deeply, before looking away to blink back tears. "i'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating." he speaks into the microphone, earning an empathetic laugh from the guests, your hand ghosts over his back, and he stiffens at it. "i'm so…so terribly in love with y/n. i can't believe this day is real." a soft aww echoes in the room, your chest tightening as you see heeseung sitting next to your mother. he's cooing with everyone else. "and i can't wait to be a man that is continuously worthy of her love. to y/n."

you almost burst into tears as everyone raises their drinks to you, the clink of glasses adding to the emotion as you and jake find your seats at the end of the hall. you sit gingerly, holding jake's hand under the table tightly. "i love you, jake." "i love you, y/n."

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

the speeches were a mess. jay was a mess of tears, and minjeong spewed bullshit about the two of you being like sisters. heeseung hadn't met her until five minutes after the ceremony, and if you had been close to anyone enough to consider them a sibling, he'd know them. no one knew you like he did.

"and now, for the newlyweds' first dance! we have a very special guest singing for us today, please give a warm welcome and round of applause to y/n's longest friend, lee heeseung!"

he smiled nervously as he took the stage, a puffy-eyed jay sitting behind him as he tested the microphone. "thank you for having me, and congratulations to the newlyweds. y/n, i'm eternally proud of you and so grateful to be here on your special day. i love you." none of the guests know it means something more to him, to you, as they let out an aww. how heartwarming, that your lifelong best friend was here for you. how lovely, that he was supporting you every step of the way.

he sang carefully, watching as you and jake held each other tightly, swaying to the song. he can hear your sniffle, a soft sob into jake's shoulder as he lovingly strokes your back. he looks away.

it should be him.

it should be heeseung, that gets to see you wear white. it should be heeseung, that gets to plan a tedious wedding at your instruction. it should be heeseung that gets to take you on a romantic honeymoon and spend all day in the sun and all night glued to your bed. it should be heeseung that gets to shampoo your hair for you when you're feeling too tired, it should be heeseung that gets to watch you put lipstick on in the morning just to ruin it before you're out the door.

it should be him. and everyone knows it, no matter if they know your history or not.

"thank you, everyone. let's hear it for the newlyweds!"

october 15.

"hey."

it's been over a year since your wedding. you and jake had happily posted tons of wedding photos, piled over with honeymoon flicks. you and heeseung hadn't spoken since the wedding. he left right after the first dance, catching the first ferry back to seoul. he didn't bother contacting you to see if you'd made it back safely, he didn't bother to message you a happy birthday when it came around. he just didn't care.

he dropped out of college for the second time, and spent the summer going around seoul auditioning for companies. decelis entertainment finally gave him a break, and only after he got his contract did he find out that jake and all of his friends were also at this company.

he was polite in the hallways. he smiled, he waved, he engaged in small talk and perused the past. he didn't ask questions, he didn't initiate. he spent his time holed away in the studio with a producer named yeonjun, recording for hours on end without a break. he was set to debut in two weeks, having dropped his first teaser just two days prior.

all without you to cheer him on.

"what are you doing here?" his voice was cold, nothing you weren't used to at this point. his hair wasn't red anymore, now a natural chocolate brown. it suited him. "came to visit, heard from jake that you've been training for a year." "what's it to you?"

he's being harsh, he knows he's being harsh.

"hey, y/n. nice to see you." jake calls from across the hall, exiting his studio with jay and sunghoon in tow. the two of them seem to say nothing at the sudden casualties between you and jake, or the insinuation that he hadn't seen you in a while. heeseung gives you a glance, your hands holding a gift and a grocery bag. "may i come in?" "i'm busy, at the moment." he coughs, ignoring the way your eyes roll. "too busy for a slice of cake?" you hold up a bag in your fingers, and his eyes narrow. he leans back into the studio, his eyes scanning the calendar for any potential special dates. he's not even flipped to the right month, the calendar reading july.

"shit, did i miss something?" he whips out his phone, which you simply cover with your hand. a soft laugh escapes your lips as you lift your other hand, the gift bag screaming happy birthday in gold glitter flashing at him. "oh, man." he moves away from the door, allowing you to walk in. you look around, and although the studio doesn't belong to him, it sure smells like him. it looks like him, it's covered in him, it feels like home.

"happy birthday, hee." you say gently, setting the gift down on the couch and slowly sitting down to unwrap his cake. "i know it's not much, but i'm barely here." you chuckle, tapping your temple as he takes a seat in his desk chair. he's wary, you can tell.

"something on your mind?" "why are you here? i debut in two weeks, i don't need any bullshit." he rubs his temples, and you only frown. "you know, once upon a time, you would've been happy to have me here." your tone is pointed, and heeseung sighs. "fine, fine. i'm sorry."

"i'm the one who should be sorry." you murmur, and heeseung says nothing. he knows you're right.

you're both quiet, before heeseung notices the candle next to the cake. he rolls the chair over, his fingers carefully centering the candle. "have you got a light?"

you shake your head no, a sheepish look in your eyes. "i'm sorry. we can pretend, if that's okay?" he hates the way his lips twitch into a smile at your wide eyes. "yeah, we can pretend."

you sing for him softly, your cheek squished into your hand as you lean on the armrest. he closes his eyes, making a wish and blowing the makeshift flame out. "what'd you wish for?" you yawn, and he shakes his head.

"won't come true if i tell you." shrugging, he rolls back over to his desk, leaving the cake on the table. you just make a noise of agreement, before a sigh slips past you. "i heard your teaser, you know." he doesn't care to react, only giving you a short sound. "mhm?" "is it about me?" you ask, and he straightens in his chair before spinning around to face you. "all my songs are about you. every single one of them." he gestures to a tattered journal on the soundboard. it's covered in stickers, and…a taped photo of you and him as toddlers. "oh."

"i mean what i say, y/n." he rolls his eyes, before spinning back around. "if it were me, i'd never let you die."

but it is you, you think. it's always been you.

"why did jake say it was nice to see you?" he asks, too cowardly to look you in the eyes. he hears your sigh, before hearing you shift around on the couch. he spins around again, only to see you have removed your shoes and tucked your legs beneath you. his eyes scan you, before looking at your fingers. your ring is gone, replaced by a chunky painite stone in silver. your eyes are gently burning into him, and he shivers in the warmth. "well…why?" "before the reception, he told me he knew." you shrug, "he knew how you felt about me, and how i allegedly felt about you. he brought up my mother, and how he felt like he'd never stood a chance."

"but he did. you married him, after all." heeseung rolls his eyes as you shrug, blinking slowly as you speak again. "we gave it a good shot. maybe i should've listened to all those superstitions, they're not such bullshit. the tripping, the rain, god, the way my ring was too tight." you scoff sadly, before glancing back up at him.

he seems to understand. if he doesn't, he doesn't say anything. sighing, you reach over to rustle the gift bag with your fingers. "you've got to open this, you know."

"y/n, i can't do this." he breathes out, eyes screwed shut. "i can't sit here with you and pretend like we're all good, like you're not married to the same guy i share a company with. we stopped being friends a long time ago, what are you trying to do here?" "i'm not trying to do anything but reconnect. i fully accepted the fact that whether or not you're with me, you're still someone i love. i spent years trying to figure out why you drifted away from me, and then jake and i sat down at our dinner table a few weeks ago after meeting with the lawyer and he asked me about our friendship. so i told him everything, from the very beginning."

heeseung can't breathe as you get up, walking towards him and slowly sinking into a squat. your hands are on his knees, giving a gentle squeeze before you speak.

"i'm sorry i made it seem like i had no faith in you. i said horrible things to you, even if they seemed right to me, and i'm so sorry that it took someone else to tell me that i'd treated you so badly that day."

his eyes are brimming with tears, but he looks away from you. he can't cry, not now, not in front of you.

"you've always been like that, though." he murmurs, picking at his cuticles when you carefully take his hands in yours. he suppresses a sob as the warmth of you envelopes his fingers, "i was projecting. i thought that everyone had to be like me, that everyone had to have a plan. some people are just better at flying by the seat of their pants, i mean, look at all you've accomplished despite me saying such shitty things to you. you're about to debut, you're going to see great success. everyday i'm rooting for you, even if i'm not the person you go home to."

you give his hands a firm squeeze. once, twice, three times. i love you.

"are you divorced?"

you scoff out a soft laugh, looking down at his jeans. "jake and i haven't been together since the wedding. we spent the honeymoon playing mermaids and crying over whiskey sours."

"i can't forgive you right now." he confesses, making your head snap up to look at him. he swallows hard, "i can't forgive you right now, because i'm still mad at you. for saying those things to me, and…and you hurt me, when you asked me to sing for your wedding. it hurt me a lot, y/n." "i'm sorry, hee." you whisper, your thumbs wipe at the tears spilling from his eyes. he leans into your touch, before pulling away. "i know you are, y/n. i know."

he gently pushes away, offering his hand to help you up. you take it, and he waits for you to put your shoes on before leading you back to the door. "i'll call you, okay? when i'm ready."

you step out of the studio, peering up at him with sad eyes. "you promise?"

he sighs, nodding his head. "i promise, baby."

523 notes · View notes

flemingology · 1 month ago

Text

first time ─ jessie fleming x reader

in which: you and jessie take the next step in your relationship

warnings: smut (18+), g!p sex, oral (r receiving), penetrative sex (r receiving), dirty talk

wc: 4.6K, used a couple prompts from @delusionisaplace!

a/n: Let's say jessie is still at chelsea here, just to make sense of the tiny bit of plot there is at the beginning of this fic, lol. also, this is... pure filth. I don't know why this was the fic that got me out of my writer's block but yeah, have it. also if the whole g!p thing is NOT your thing, then don't read it! the warning is there for a reason. it's my first time writing this dynamic, so I'm sorry if it's kinda shitty. as usual, not proofread. sorry for any mistakes.

You kept rolling your hips down into Jessie's lap, another whine escaping your lips as you could feel her growing cock pressing into you with every brush against her hips. Your head was buried in your girlfriend's neck, lips parted and softly panting as you fisted your hands in her hair. "Fuck, Jess, if we don't stop now we are not making it in time to Leah's," you said, with the last remaining bit of dignity lingering inside of you.

Leah had invited some of her Arsenal teammates and their plus ones over for a big dinner at her place, to which you'd eagerly agreed when you first got the invitation. After a bit of convincing, you'd managed to get Jessie on board too – the self-consciousness about being the only Chelsea player in a predominantly Arsenal-covered living room quickly washed away with the prospect of a little mingling with old and new friends in sight.

Right now, though, a dinner with friends was the last thing on Jessie's mind. Admittedly, it wasn't really at the front of yours either. Your every thought now laced with pleasure, you tried your absolute hardest to keep a little bit of self-control before you lost yourself completely in Jessie's touch, in the feeling of her burgeoning hard-on pressing against your awaiting core.

"Yeah", Jessie breathed against you, forcing her eyes closed because your blissed out face was pushing her towards an edge she didn't want to be at yet, "yeah, you're right," she said, but made no move to stop or get up, if anything she pushed your hips harder against hers.

You lifted your head from her neck in a vain attempt to regain some control, but seeing Jessie's baby hairs sticking against her forehead that was covered in a sheen layer of sweat, a frown etched upon her face as she concentrated on being good for you with her eyes closed, there wasn't a single cell in your body that wanted anything else but this.

"Fuck it," you mumbled underneath your breath, "we'll make up an excuse later," it was the last bit of encouragement that Jessie needed, already lifting you up from the couch before you even got a chance at finishing your sentence. You squealed as she lifted you up and you put your legs around her waist, hanging onto her while she manoeuvred the two of you up the stairs and into her bedroom.

You and Jessie hadn't gone much further than a few heated make-out sessions on either of your couches yet. The relationship was fairly new and as much as you were completely infatuated by her, you'd promised each other to take it slow. But the past week, anytime Jessie did anything but breathe near you, you wanted nothing more than to jump her bones – you were ovulating, in your defense. So when you rang her doorbell that night, having gotten ready in your own apartment for Leah's dinner, and Jessie opened the door in a white button-up shirt that was tucked into a pair of black slacks that perfectly hugged her muscular thighs, you knew you wouldn't have the self control to restrain yourself tonight.

Jessie's button-up shirt and your dress long forgotten – not without the promise that you'd wear it again for her – your girlfriend placed you on the bed and crawled on top of you. "You drive me crazy, baby, honestly. I need you so bad," she said, pulling a moan from you. Jessie had always been – and still was – quite reserved. She had her moments with you where she would turn into herself, but those were rare. With other people, though, it was rare that they would see Jessie let loose. So when you discovered that Jessie was quite the dirty talker in bed, it's safe to say you more than were surprised. Pleasantly surprised, that's for sure.

Your Canadian peppered kisses all over your face, your cheek and jawline until she reached the base of your neck, where she let her wet tongue glide over the sensitive skin all the way back up until she reached your ear, where she softly nipped on your earlobe. All your senses were overwhelmed with Jessie – you saw, heard, felt and smelled nothing but her. And you loved it.

A couple moments later Jessie still found her face nuzzled into your neck, sucking, kissing and licking all over the skin there. And as much as you liked it and it felt good, you were starting to feel quite the throb between your legs – and you wanted, needed, her to do something about it.

"Jess", you said breathily, to which she lifted her head. "Please, I need you," you continued, to which a small smirk tugged at her lips. "What do you need, love?" she asked. You groaned and threw your head back. "Your mouth, your fingers, your dick. Anything, Jess." A shiver rolled down Jessie's spine as you finished talking, purely due to the excitement of what was about to come.

The Canadian wasn't particularly someone for one-night stands, she simply loved too hard to be able to fuck someone without catching any sorts of feelings for them. That, combined with her busy schedule, meant she hadn't dated in a good while. Meaning that, for the last couple of years, the only relief Jessie could give herself was the pumping of her own hand. Merely the thought of her length being enveloped in your warm tunnel had her almost bursting.

She slowly made her way down, pressing open-mouthed kisses all over your body. You could feel her sucking your skin and marking you up, but you didn't have an ounce of self-control left in your body anymore to tell her to stop. She reached your underwear and teased you by dipping one finger underneath the waistband, but not trailing further.

"Can I take this off?" she asked softly, earning a nod from you. "I'm gonna need words, beautiful," she said, when you didn't speak up further. "I know you can do that for me," she continued, which caused you to blush. "Yeah-, yeah, that's okay. Only if you undress too," you replied. Jessie glanced down at her own body and noticed that she was still half-dressed, her lower body still covered. She stood up quickly and kicked off her trousers and socks – her swollen cock a little less restrained which caused her to sigh a breath of relief – before settling her body between your legs again.

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips when she pulled your underwear down your legs, a string of your arousal connected to the garment. "You're soaked baby, god, you're so hot," Jessie mumbled.

Your girlfriend skipped the teasing and torturing and delved straight in, your scent way too intoxicating for the Canadian to wait any longer to taste you. Jessie licked a long, slow stripe from your entrance up to your clit, gathering your arousal in her mouth and spreading it all over your lips. You couldn't hold back the moan that escaped your lips upon the feeling of Jessie's warm tongue against your heat.

"Fuck, Jess, that's so good," you said breathlessly. You had been uncertain and insecure about this moment for a long time, but you couldn't have wished for a better time to take the next step in your relationship. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Jessie took your sensitive nub in her mouth and teasingly flicked her tongue across it, earning a grunt from you. You tangled your hands in her curls and gave a sharp tug when you felt her teeth graze your clit, the sting subsiding quickly when she started sucking on it again.

It wasn't long before you started to feel a tightening sensation starting to bubble up inside of you. Jessie's tongue was working wonders against your core and you were seriously questioning why it had taken the two of you so long to get to this point. The room was filled with the sounds of your moans and the squelching of your drenched core, riling you up further – if that was even possible. Jessie hadn't even used her fingers yet and she had you teetering on the edge.

"Jess," you breathed, trying to form a coherent sentence while the Canadian was sucking and licking on you at a relentless pace. "I'm close, baby, you're gonna make me cum," you continued. Jessie hummed into your pussy, not relenting by any means. In response, she squeezed your thighs that were resting on her shoulders. Your moans rose in pitch as she brought you closer and closer to your high, not letting her pace waver once you started squirming and bucking underneath her.

"Oh fuck, Jess, fuck, I'm cumming," you mustered, right before you felt the coil in your belly snap. You arched your back off the bed and threw your head back, your thighs locking around Jessie's head whose ministrations kept going. You let out a loud moan as you started to come down, your girlfriend guiding you through your orgasm and eventually releasing your lips with a pop as you started growing sensitive.

You dropped your legs from Jessie's shoulders and rested them on the mattress, trying to catch your breath from the mind-blowing orgasm you just had. "Fuck, that was good," you said, not needing to glance at Jessie to know there was a smug smirk plastered on her face. She rested her head on your thigh and pressed soft kisses, waiting for you to come down from your high.

A couple moments later you managed to catch your breath, and opened your eyes to look at her. "You're amazing", you said, a light smile tugging at your lips. You couldn't miss the small blush that crept upon your girlfriend's cheeks at your words. "Thank you, baby, I love making you feel good," she replied.

Another few moments of silence went by before you spoke up. "What about you?" you said, wanting nothing more than to return the favor but not really knowing how to approach the subject. After all, you were quite nervous, to put it lightly. You had never had sex with a dick before, and you definitely didn't know whether you were going to be any good at it – whether you would like it even. Jessie and you had talked about it countless of times, talked about what you thought you would like and not like, because the last thing she wanted was to make you uncomfortable or to hurt you in the moment.

"What about me?" Jessie quipped back, but you didn't miss the glint in her eyes. She climbed up your body and laid her head on your chest before you replied. "I want you to feel good too," you said softly, to which she let out a little chuckle. "Pleasuring you is more than enough, baby," she said, to which you rolled your eyes. "I'm not having that, Fleming. You know what I mean."

Jessie chuckled and looked up at you. "Are you sure? I know we said we'd take things slow on this regard," she asked. She was right. You had told her that you wanted to take things slow. You were more than comfortable with the Canadian but you didn't want to rush into things. You nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing the conversation. "Yeah, you're right. I did say that. But this feels good. It feels right," you said, tucking a strand of hair behind Jessie's ear. "So if it feels right for you too, I'm more than willing to try some things."

"It feels more than right, you know that, but I just want to make sure that you feel okay with all of this. I'd never want to rush you into doing things you'd rather not," Jessie said softly, tracing patterns on your bare chest. You pressed a kiss against her crown and took her chin between your thumb and index finger, tilting her head up towards you. You gave her an appreciative look before you spoke. "You're perfect, Jess. I love how mindful you are being, but I promise that I'm okay with this. I'd tell you if I wasn't."

Jessie gave you a nod and a warm smile before rolling off your body and sitting up, seemingly a bit nervous about her next step. She looked around hesitantly around the room. "You okay, Jess?" you inquired, now sitting up against the headboard. "Y-yeah, I was just," she breathed, voice slightly wavering. You frowned, wondering what had gotten Jessie visibly upset. "We're on the same page, right?" she asked. You cocked an eyebrow at your girlfriend. "I think so, yeah? I don't know what you mean, but I don't see how we couldn't be."

Jessie seemed to relax a little at your words. "Is it okay if I grab a condom, then?" you chuckled at her question, shaking her head in disbelief before speaking up again. "Of course, Jess, why are you so nervous about that?"

"I don't know, we hadn't verbally agreed on what we wanted next and I didn't want to just grab a condom if I wasn't sure that this is what you wanted," she explained. A small smile tugged at your lips as you leant in and cupped her cheek, pressing a tender kiss against her lips before you replied. "You're adorable. Thank you for checking in. But yeah I can confirm that this," you gestured towards Jessie's hand that was resting on the nightstand and then down towards her still-hardened member, "is what I want."

Jessie's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red and she cast her gaze away from yours, slightly embarrassed at her own uncertainty. Nonetheless, she opened her nightstand and rummaged around until she found an unopened pack of condoms. "It's been ages since I've used these, but I'm pretty sure they're not expired yet," Jessie said with a toothy grin on her face. "Well, we should make sure to get some new ones then next time we're grocery shopping," you said, a teasing smile adorning your lips as you spoke to your girlfriend. "Big plans huh?" she inquired, before bringing the condom packet to her mouth and ripping it open.

You watched on in awe as Jessie slipped the top of the condom over her tip and rolled the rest down her length. It was safe to say that Jessie's member was above average length. It was quite wide and thick. On another day, if your heart wasn't pounding in your chest, you would've probably made a comment about it. You had never had sex with a dick before, so it was safe to say that you were quite nervous about taking her, if you were going to be able to at all.

Jessie made her way back over to you and spread your legs again, settling her body in between yours as she sat back on her heels. She caressed your thighs gently and relented from doing anything, letting you set the pace for now. She could tell you were nervous. She offered you a warm, small smile before speaking up. "I'll be gentle with you, I promise. I wouldn't want to hurt you, ever," you nodded and gave your girlfriend an appreciative nod. She knew you'd never had penetrative sex with a dick before. She also knew you were nervous, so it meant a lot to you that she was reassuring you like this.

"I know. I trust you," you said, before you scooted a little closer to her, trying to wordlessly let her know that you were ready. Jessie got the hint and pushed her body towards you, hovering over you on her knees as she adjusted so her dick was lining up with your entrance. You watched on between your bodies in awe as Jessie grabbed her length and softly pushed it up and down between your folds, repeatedly bumping against your clit. You couldn't suppress the soft whimpers that escaped your lips. A couple moments later, Jessie looked up to you and searched your eyes for any signs of uncertainty. She wanted to make sure that you were fully comfortable before she pushed further. You grabbed her hand that was situated on your hip, keeping herself up, and gave it a tight squeeze.

Jessie took it as encouragement and lined herself up with your entrance, ever so slowly inching forward. She kept her eyes trained on your face as she entered you, making sure she didn't miss any signs of discomfort as she stretched you out. You closed your eyes and bit your lip as you focused on the feeling of Jessie's hardened member entering you. Despite a first orgasm, you hadn't loosened much and you could feel the way she was stretching you out. A frown was etched on your face as you tried to compose your breathing. You tried your best to relax and to loosen up for her, but Jessie couldn't push further.

"Just let it happen, baby, don't think about it too much. I can feel you tightening around me," Jessie spoke up softly. You nodded wordlessly, taking a deep breath in and trying to relax further. Jessie was still on her knees between your legs, patiently stretching you out. She, too, was having a hard time at remaining composed. Not so much because of discomfort, but mainly because she lost herself in the feeling of being wrapped up in your heat. She wasn't in deep, by any means, but your warmth was enveloping her tip and she loved the feeling.

A couple minutes, a lot of trial and error and deep breaths later, Jessie's hips were finally flush against yours. It hadn't been easy, but the feeling of being filled by your girlfriend was nothing like you'd ever experienced. Jessie was hovering over you now, wanting to be close to you instead of on her knees between your legs. "Does this feel fine?" Jessie whispered in your ear, not wanting to disturb you too much while you were adjusting to her length inside of you. You nodded wordlessly, letting your nails rake over Jessie's back. "Yeah," you breathed out. "Yeah, this is okay."

A couple more moments passed before you spoke up again. "I think I'm ready for you to move," you said tentatively. Jessie lifted her head and looked at you, searching your eyes for any discomfort. "Okay," she breathed, pressing a tender kiss against your forehead. Jessie slowly pulled her hips back, pulling out of you just until she reached the tip. She moaned softly at the sensation, pushing back inside of you and filling you to the hilt. "Fuck," you whimpered, "do that again, please."

Jessie eyed you curiously and pulled back once more, making sure her tip stayed inside of you. "Like this?" she asked, earning a wordless nod from you. She grinned slightly, pushing back inside of you and letting your warm tunnel envelop her length. "You feel so tight around me, darling, you're so hot."

By now, you had comfortably adjusted to Jessie's length. Even though you could still feel her stretching you out with every thrust, most of the uncomfortable feeling was now replaced with pleasure. Jessie found a steady rhythm that felt good to both of you, pushing in and out of you while making sure you were comfortable.

The room was now filled with the sounds of your shared moans and the squelching of your core every time Jessie pushed inside of you. You were undeniably wetter than you'd ever been. Not only the feeling of being fucked by your girlfriend and being so close to each other, the thought of her filling you up again and again was doing things to you too.

Jessie's breathing became slightly ragged the longer you continued. You could feel her thrusts were becoming a little less regular and you wondered if those were the telltale signs of her growing closer to her orgasm. You wished you could say the same, though. Although it felt good, you didn't know whether this was doing it for you. You realized that you should tell Jessie, because she wouldn't forgive herself if she came and you didn't.

You pressed your hand against Jessie's chest which caused her to halt her movements, looking up at you worriedly. "I don't think it's going to work like this, Jess. This feels good, but I don't know if it's going to get me there," you said, an inevitable blush creeping up your cheeks. "I'm sorry."

Jessie shook her head and spoke adamantly. "Don't be sorry, please. We have all night, okay? No need to rush," she said, while leaning down and pressing a loving kiss against your lips before she sat back on her heels and slowly pulled herself out of you, watching on amazedly as your core tried to suck her back in. "Like what you see?" you teased, a smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah. I do, this is hot."

Jessie pulled out of you completely and took your hands in hers. "Is there anything you would like to try? Something you think might feel better?" Jessie inquired. You shrugged, dropping the eye contact and looking away from your girlfriend. You had an idea, but you were slightly embarrassed to voice it. She frowned, grabbing your chin between her thumb and index finger and tilting your head towards hers again. "It's just me, baby, please tell me what you've got on your mind."

Your already-red face turned a shade darker, another blush creeping on your cheeks as you locked eyes with her. "Do you maybe want to, uhm, try a different position?" you asked softly, uncertainty laced in your voice. Jessie chuckled lightly and smiled brightly at you. "Of course I want to try a different position, love," Jessie reassured you, giving your hands an appreciative squeeze as you looked up at her.

You didn't really know how to progress further. You could tell that Jessie expected further explanation from you, probably an insight to what position you wanted to try. You were still feeling quite apprehensive about the whole situation, but you mustered up the courage to go further. "Maybe... uhm, do you maybe want to try from the back?"

Jessie's face lit up at what you said, a smug smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah," she chuckled, "I'm more than down to try from the back," Jessie sat back a bit to give you more room to work with, you shuffling from underneath her. You rolled your body over and pushed yourself up, holding your body up on your hands and knees. Jessie moved too, positioning her body behind yours and making sure the both of you were comfortably in the middle of the mattress.

"God, I wish you could see how good you looked from this angle," Jessie whispered. Her eyes were trained on your entrance, that was clenching around nothing. Your folds were sopping wet, your arousal smeared out all over them adding to the sensations. You turned your head and looked at your girlfriend over your shoulder, chuckling as you noticed her staring at you in awe. "You're a dork, you know that?"

Jessie let out a breathy laugh and shuffled closer to you, her dick lining up with your entrance again. "I know I am, that's why you love me" she said, not wasting another second and pushing herself inside of you again. "Oh," you said, your breath hitching in your throat at the feeling of being filled again. "Oh, yeah, that's good."

"Fuck, that's so much better, Jess. Keep going, please," you whimpered, Jessie's dick hitting your sweet spot repeatedly from the renewed angle. The Canadian propped one of her legs up next to your body for extra leverage and held your waist and started pushing in and out of you at a relentless pace. Now that she knew for sure that this felt good for you, there was no longer that mental barrier.

Your moans and whimpers only spurred her on, pleasure taking over her thoughts as her dick was enveloped in your warmth. "God, you feel so good inside of me, Jess, fuck," you got out. "Nothing will ever come close to the feeling of you around my dick, baby."

You started moving your hips back against Jessie's in time with her thrusts as a long moan escaped the Canadian's throat. "Fuck, you're incredible," she said, as you were adding to her pleasure. "You look so good like this baby, taking me so well. You're doing so good.

Her praise did inexplicable things to you. To know that you were making her feel good was working wonders on your ego. You'd been worried that you weren't going to be good enough for her, especially in the beginning as you'd have to find your footing in sex with Jessie, but tonight had blown all your doubts away.

Just as before, you could tell that Jessie was growing close to a release. This time, though, you could feel the same for you. The familiar tightening sensation started boiling up again, your breaths becoming uneven and your thrusts back against Jessie losing their strength.

"Are you close, baby? You wanna cum for me?" Jessie asked, seemingly reading your mind. You groaned deeply and mustered up a response. "God, yes, please Jessie, let me cum," you begged her. "Begging already, huh? I wasn't even denying you of anything," Jessie said with a touch of degradation in her voice which turned you on further, if that was even possible.

You threw your head down against the mattress and groaned again, not having the strength to muster up a smart response. "Go ahead, baby, cum for me, cum all over my cock," the Canadian said, finishing you off with a few harsh thrusts before you bursted all over her length, spitting out moan after moan. It wasn't long before Jessie came too, rutting harshly into you as she spurted ropes of cum into her condom. She groaned as she pulled your body flush against hers, now both of you on your knees as she fucked you through both of your orgasms.

Jessie brought of you down against the mattress when you had both come down. She laid wordlessly on top of you as she tried to compose herself and regain her breath, her dick softening and falling out of your still-drenched core. She rolled over onto her back and opened her arms for you to fall into, your head resting on her chest. You listened to her heart that was rapidly pumping.

You were the first to speak up after a couple moments. "God, that was amazing. You were amazing. I love you so much," you accentuated her words with a couple tender kisses against Jessie's lips. She smiled into the kiss. "If anything, all credit goes to you. You told me you'd never had sex with a dick before, but honestly I couldn't tell. You're everything and more," Jessie said, pulling you closer to her.

After cleaning each other up, you spent the rest of the evening in comfy clothing in each other's arms, sprawled out over the bed watching some tv. "We're gonna have to find a good excuse for Leah, by the way. I checked my phone earlier and noticed a couple missed calls."

Jessie chuckled and continued rubbed soothing patterns up and down your back. "Next time we'll make sure not to miss a dinner you agreed to. I just really couldn't withstand you this time," the midfielder confessed. "Well, that makes both of us," you pressed another tender, lingering kiss against Jessie's lips. Before long, you both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

#woso #woso community #woso imagine #woso x reader #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jflem #portland thorns #canada wnt

414 notes · View notes

wasitforrevenge · 9 months ago

Text

oh sweetheart

pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au

word count: 1.9k

rating: 18+

warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)

summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.

authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)

PART 1 | part 2

series masterlist <3

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.

loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.

you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.

it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.

after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.

you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.

jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.

you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.

"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.

he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.

"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.

the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.

the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.

"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.

"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.

you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.

"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.

"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.

"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.

"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.

"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.

suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.

you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.

jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.

dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.

you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.

thats her.

thats the girl who saved you outside.

the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.

the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.

you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.

...5

...4

...3

...2

as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.

#ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #pedro pascal #ellie williams #the last of us #tlou2 #tlog #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #joel and ellie #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams series #joel tlou #thot4elleific

1K notes · View notes

youryanderedaddy · 10 months ago

Text

Tw: female reader, slight dub-con to con, degradation, sex toys pt.1 Happy Valentine's 💞💞💞

Bitchy mean girl, who basically forces you to come to her house every weekend with the pretext that she needs tutoring - and who's more fitting to help her fix her grades than her favourite little nerd?

You actually come prepared too, pink cutesy backpack stuffed with textbooks, footnotes, highlights and colourful markers. But the moment you step inside her house and Jess sees the sheer academic arsenal you've prepared, she burst into torching, mocking laughter. She flicks at your forehead, wiping off a single tear.

"You really thought we were going to study?" She scoffs, dragging you into her lap - smirking as she watches you panic and whine to be let go. She kisses you roughly, determined to get your lips fully wet and shiny, saliva dripping down your chin once she finally pulls away. "You're more stupid than I thought." The cheerleader grins with endearment. "You're lucky you're so cute."

She takes hold of both your thighs and spreads them apart, leering at the lacy white panties peeking underneath your skirt.

"Looks like you came prepared after all." Jess taunts, playing with the flimsy, frilly pink lining - toying with the little ribon in the middle of it. "Maybe deep down you knew this would happen." She grips your jawline, forcing your head up - eyes set on her lips. "Or ma-aybe... you were actually hoping it would." Her hand slips to your neck. "Which one is it, little slut?"

"N-no, it's not like that!" You try to defend yourself, cheeks heating up by the second. "I-I, I wasn't, I didn't-" You stumble all over your words - but your body betrays you, back arching wantonly as Jess brushes a single finger across your clothed slit. Giggling with content at your desperation, she starts rubbing you over your panties, enjoying the way you squirm and shake your head as if fighting the pleasure.

"You weren't what, nerd? You weren't trying to get yourself fucked like a proper whore?" The girl all but hisses down your throat, biting at your jugular - letting her lips soothe the initial sting. "You weren't trying to be all slutty and cute, making me want you?" You can feel her fingers finally, finally make their way down the elastic band, cupping your mound before the first digit slips inside you, forcing a lewd, breathy moan out of you. "You're so wet for me, yet you keep acting like you don't want it."

Her lips stretch into a thin, self evident smirk as she reaches for something in her pocket you can't make out from beneath her. You suck in a sharp breath, eyes still glassy from her teasing - both anxious and excited to see what's next.

"I have just the right thing for a little bratty bitch like you." Jess pulls you into yet another messy, sloppy kiss, grinning at the sight of your chin stained all over by her bright red lipstick. It makes you look so... hers. "Let's see how long you can hide your true feelings once I have you coming your brains out." She says, teeth bared with a sadistic little gleam in her dark blue eyes. You hear a buzzing sound - and then your vision fills with blurry lines and stars and raw, red - hot pleasure you can feel deep in your guts.

The cheerleader nests the small vibrator snugly against your clit, setting your nerves on fire. It's all too much - her soft, delicate hands touching you all over, the dirty whispers in your ear egging you on, the waves of ecstasy flooding your body each and every second. You try to catch your breath, but every time you open your mouth, the sounds that come out are all whiner and needier than the last.

"Aww, you're already doing so good for me, baby." Jess coos, head resting against your shoulder - holding you down tightly as your body writhes and jumps as if devoid of any control. "See? It's so much better to be honest." She presses the vibrator down once again, watching your button swell and twitch in overstimulation. "Let go completely." She licks your neck, driving you even wilder. "Let me make you mine, m'kay?"

And you think, hell, you might as well.

#yandere #yancore #female yandere #female yandere x reader #yandere smut #yandere oneshot #yandere x you #female yandere x you #female yandere x female reader

984 notes · View notes

sigma-alpha-writer-chad · 24 days ago

Text

Grow Up, Would You? [Josh Washington]

“I don’t know if you’ve changed any since middle school but I really hope you’ve learned the difference between pranking somebody and just being a fucking bully.”

You can also find this story on Ao3!

Chapter Four / Chapter Five / Chapter Six

[CHAPTER FIVE]

"Chris, you are... not good at this," Josh says, holding a 4 of diamonds in his hand. "This is, like, the third time you've gotten my card wrong."

"I'd be better if I wasn't drunk off my ass," Chris defends, smacking the deck of cards on the counter. I say nothing, too busy trying to calm my laughter and holding on to Matt for balance. Laughing, himself, he holds my forearms to keep me steady.

Although they'd left us for a while, Matt and Mike eventually migrated back into the kitchen at the sound of the laughter. I was shocked that Emily wasn't wrapped around Mike like she usually was, but no one would ever hear me complain or even acknowledge her absence.

"I don't think we've ever actually spent much time together," Matt says, straightening up as he wiped a tear from his eye. "You're cool. I'm sorry for maybe seeing kind of, standoffish, earlier...?" He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Oh, no," I giggle. "It's awkward meeting new people, I get it. Thank you, though." I knew Matt was more meek than the others, but I didn't realize he was a sweetheart. Mike pats me on the back.

"She's maaad cool," he confirms. By the way his words merge together I can tell he's drunk. "I've never gotten to talk to her thoughhh, Emily think she wants me or whatever."

"Emily thinks everyone wants you," Josh snorts. Mike gasps, placing his hands over his torso dramatically.

"Don't they?" I cringe. Josh taps the counter loudly, drawing our attention to the lineup of shots.

"What are the, uh," Chris starts, looking into his shot as he tries to find the words he needs. "The girls! Sam, Jess, and Emily, the twins, what're they doing?" he asks.

"Some skin routine, or something. Jess brought an entire kit," Mike sighs. "I'm pretty bummed out that she said girls only, that stuff is fire." We all clink our glasses together and take the shots, Matt shaking his head violently after he swallowed.

"Goddamn, shit is nasty," he hissed, scrunching up his face. Everyone else can't help but laugh, though I can feel my face starting to burn. It could be nothing or anything, but in the past I've learned that sometimes it means I just need some air.

"I'm gonna go get some air," I say, hiking my thumb behind me towards the back balcony.

"Gonna hurl?" Josh asks, that stupid grin on his stupid face.

"No, just need some air." I walk out the door and outside. Shit. I forgot my coat. I decide against going inside - it would be embarrassing if they realized. The night was going so well, I didn't want them to watch me take the walk of shame to grab my winter garments.

I clear off a part of the railing and lean against it, shivering and holding myself. The icy air did it's job quickly in cooling my skin and opening my lungs. Despite my shivering, I took slow, deep breaths until I hear the door opening and closing behind me.

"Hey," I greet, not turning around.

"Cold?" I chew on my cheek as Josh leans next to me, holding one of his thick coats in his hands.

"Freezing," I admit, laughing. Josh says nothing, instead gently placing his coat over my shoulders. Holy fuck it was warm. Despite my reservations I quickly put it on and zip it closed, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh, wow, thank you. It's so warm." Josh laughs loudly and leans again on the railing next to me, our shoulders a hair apart.

"I have it hanging next to the fireplace," he explains. I look up at him through my lashes, and he looks down at me. "So, always nice and toasty... like a Hot Pocket." I look back out across the snowy forest in a failed attempt to hide the smile from my face. I don't know why I thought it was funny - because it wasn't.

I've always hated that Josh was able to make me smile, even when he was at his worst bullying me. If he was making jokes nearby, I was the one nearly bursting a blood vessel trying not to laugh. I know he sees me, though, because he had a twinkle in his eye and a gentle grin of his own.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asks me, tilting his head in an attempt to be on my level.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply, surprised he was asking. "I just need a break sometimes." I pause. "Thanks for checking."

"Alright, girl, well," he starts, leaning against me for a second. He's so warm I almost ask him to stay there. I knew at that thought that I should start drinking less vodka and more water. "I'll give you your... your alone time."

"Thank you, Josh." I say. He pauses, and suddenly there's much more hesitance to leave. I wonder why. Is it that I said his name? "Are you okay?" he takes a deep inhale.

"Yeah," he starts, though I'm immediately not convinced. "I just need a little space, sometimes, too." There's another pause. He's still leaning against me, our shoulders pressed together. For a millisecond I can feel my head move to lean on his shoulder and I freeze. Josh opens his mouth again, hesitating to speak. "I don't know how I'm feeling about Mike, lately."

"Mike?" I repeat. He nods, taking another deep breath.

"Hannah's got a thing for him," Josh states. He's looking across the forest with his eyebrows furrowed. "And he keeps playing with her feelings, I think."

"You think?" He nods again.

"He hasn't - he won't reject her. He knows how she feels about him and he just let's her. I think he digs the attention or something, but it's pissing me off. I tried to tell Hannah he wasn't into her, but -" he cuts himself off and shakes his head. I can tell he's getting angry at just the thought of the subject. "But she just won't listen. How can a girl so smart not see what he's doing?"

"I don't know," I murmur. I wasn't sure what to say, or how to comfort him. "She asked me about him, earlier." Josh looks at me as he waits for me to continue. "Asked what I thought about him. I just said he wasn't my type, he's got a girlfriend, whatever."

"Oh, well, what is your type?" He smirks. I roll my eyes and lean hard against him as he laughs at me.

"I think she knows Mike doesn't feel the same," I say. "She just doesn't care."

"The land of delusion," Josh huffs before looking at me. "Wanting somebody you can't have, well... I guess that sort of runs in the family." I side eye him and my heart rate picks up.

"Sam?" I gulp. Josh bursts out in laughter.

"Oh, Jordan," he starts, rubbing his eyes. "You kill me."

"I'm funny, I know," I grin. We make eye contact again and the pressure of his shoulder against mine increases as he leans further into me before, finally, pulling away. The absence of his warmth is immediate and I frown.

"I'm just worried about Hannah, is all," he clarifies, suddenly. "I'll see you back inside."

"See you." I smile, softly, and listen as the door opens. Instead of closing, though, I hear gentle conversation and a 'she wants some alone time right now, man.' I turn around to see Mike trying to go to the balcony with me, Joshua blocking his way. They continue to bicker, but I can't hear anything else until Mike notices me watching.

"Hey, Jordan, just thought we could get to know each other better without Emily bitching you out!" He calls. I frown and look at Josh, who is staring at the back of Mike's head so intensely I half expected to see smoke start rising from his dark hair.

"You talk about your girlfriend weird," I blurt out. I look around me as if Emily would descend upon us at any moment and exact her wrath. "Don't you like her or something?" Mike laughs and shakes his head, finally pushing past Josh, who stumbles a few feet back.

"Of course I do," he says, placing both hands on my shoulders. I tense up immediately and make an attempt to gently shrug him off, but he just tightens his grip slightly. "But sometimes she tries to keep me from making new friends, or trying to strengthen already existing relationships. You understand, right? Jealous girlfriend things."

"I'm about to go inside," I gulp. I want his hands off of me now. I don't hate Mike, but the discomfort was incredible. "Just go on in and wait for me."

"Oh, come on, let's -"

"She said she's going inside." Josh butts in. I furrow my eyebrows and Mike finally lets me go. My feelings are complicated, both appreciation and annoyance swirling in my chest. Appreciation for the defense, and annoyance for not letting me handle it myself.

The appreciation wins over.

I pull the coat up over my cold nose and look between Josh and Mike. It's now, as Mike holds his hands up in defeat and he and Josh bicker, that I realize Josh's coat smelled so good. Did he smell this good? My drunken mind considers getting really close to Josh to find out.

It smells like pine, firewood, and cologne. I was almost sure though that the pine and firewood was from the cologne itself. I close my eyes. The scent was comforting and made me feel warmer.

My serenity is interrupted by Mike slamming the lodge door behind him as he finally relented and went inside. I jump, startled, and slip, falling flat on my back. There was enough snow that it didn't hurt, but I wasn't happy. I can hear Josh laughing.

"I'm going to try to help you up," he says through giggles. I start to sit up, slowly, and he offers is hand. I take it, and smile mischievously. "What're you-" I pull him down into the snow with me, doing my best evil laugh as I stand up. Josh rolls around, trying to get a grip on his surroundings, and he grabs my leg and pulls me back down on top of him.

I land on his chest and he lets out a huff, the air from his lungs being knocked out of him. As I try to get up, he wraps his arms around me and doesn't let go.

"Hey, hey! Release me, wench!" I yell. I try to sound serious, but I'm giggling and beaming.

"No can do, lady. Feel the wrath of Mr. Winter!" He rolls over so that I'm sunken into the pile of snow that had accumulated at the edge of the balcony. It reaches just over my ears.

And he's on top of me, his hands now on my hips and holding me down, his knee resting between mine. I'm shaking, but not from the cold anymore.

"Comfy?" He asks, moving his hands from me to hold himself up.

"Five stars," I sigh, rolling my eyes. I wish I wasn't smiling. I wish my heart wasn't pounding. "Can I get up now?"

"I don't know, all this alcohol and being wasted shit has made me tired," he yawns. His breath smells like booze and breath mints he'd been popping all night. He moves slowly, as if giving me an opportunity to stop him, and lays fully on top of me. "I'm going to sleep." Instead of shoving him off and screaming, like a part of me tells me to, I let him. His breath is warm on my neck as he fake-snores loudly. I shudder.

"Okay pal, get off me before somebody comes out here and sees this."

"Embarrassed?" Josh laughs breathily, his warm breath continuing to send chills through my body.

"Nervous."

"I make you nervous?" He sits himself back up again, that dumb smile back on his face. I try to think about the terrible things he'd done to me in our elementary and middle school times, but I can't seem to be upset at him no matter how much I try. I'm feeling something different for him. Not disdain or annoyance or the usual hatred.

It's something different.

"Yes." I relent. "And you do smell good."

"What?" I laugh out loud in embarrassment and disbelief at myself.

"I've had too much to drink," I sigh. I smile at Josh, and he smiles back, but he appears nervous and his eyes can't reach mine. He chews his lip as he starts to get up. I almost frown as he does, the warmth and weight of his body was comforting. He reached out his hand, again, and this time I take it.

"Let's go back inside," he mumbles, brushing the snow off of me. I smile as he does. "Okay?

"Okay."

----------

I sit at the counter of the bar, resting my chin on the palm of my right hand. On the other side stood Josh. He has a cocktail shaker in his hands, shaking it like a professional bartender would.

"Another water for the fair young lady?" He asks, taking my glass and filling it with the clear liquid, adding as much dramatic flair as he could.

"Oh, yes, m'dear, thank you," I hum. Chris and everyone else had headed to bed long ago, leaving Josh and I alone in the kitchen, the both of us deciding to be mostly sober before even going to bed. Josh slides the water to me and winks. I laugh, then snap my mouth shut.

"What is it?" He asks, tilting his head and leaning over the counter.

"I..." I start to laugh, moving my arm to hide my face. "I sound so, so drunk." Josh laughs at me before pushing the glass of water to me again.

"Drink up, madam," he says. I grab the glass, slowly sliding it towards me as Josh and I lock eyes. I raise an eyebrow and bring the water to my lips, downing it quickly like a massive shot.

"I'd like another, please. And make that a double."

"As you wish," he laughs. He gives me water in a much bigger glass, not bothering with the theatrics this time as he gets himself a drink as well. Instead of walking around the bar to sit, he stays opposite of me and leaning over the counter. I take a sip from the cup. I can feel myself growing more sober as time passes, but not by much. "How're you feeling?" I tilt my head in thought. I wondered for just a moment if I should be honest with him.

"I'm feeling good," I admit, smiling to myself. I can feel him watching me. "I'm..." I swallow, a bit nervous. "I'm glad I came. Thank you for tolerating me." My eyes move to his. The kitchen was completely dark save for a single light above the stove. For a moment I think he almost looks handsome in this lighting.

I must be wasted.

"I should say the same," Josh sighs, looking away from me. He's staring at the counter now. "I know I'm not... Your favorite." He starts, inhaling deeply. "But you've been showing up, anyways, for Chris and... And my sisters. I love Chris, and I love my sisters, more than anything, y'know? So... If they call you friend, you..." His eyes meet mine for not even a second, seemingly too nervous to meet my eyes. "You let me know if you need anything and I'll try to help you out, alright?" My eyes are watering. Why are my eyes watering? Why is he saying this to me.

"...okay," I croak. I can barely get the words out of my throat. "Thank you." I gulp down the rest of my water in an attempt to snuff out the fire burning in my chest. The air becomes heavy and thick with awkward tension. I wonder if he can hear my heart pounding.

"Do you want to put on a movie?" Josh asks, snapping me out of my fog.

"Uhm, sure. What are you thinking?"

"I've got Scream," he grins. "Do you like scary movies?" I roll my eyes, but I can't hide the smile growing on my face. "Ahh, there it is," Josh says gently, his voice low. My face feels like its set on fire.

"Is the couch fine?!" I gasp, standing up quickly and stumbling backwards. Josh laughs and asks if I'm okay, but I ignore him and scurry to the couch. Above the fireplace was a massive television. Josh turns it on and flips through channels to his own recording of Scream. I can't help but laugh.

"You recorded Scream?"

"Hey, man, don't be a hater," Josh sighs. As the movie starts he takes his seat. I'm at one end of the couch, and he's at the other. As we watch the movie, I take suspicious glances every now and then at Josh. Sometimes, I look at him and he's fully turned to look at me.

"Is there something on my face?" I ask when I catch him again. He shakes his head.

"No, I just want to see your reactions to the movie," he admitted. He's sounding less sober and more tired. As I look back towards the TV I can feel the sofa move as he moves towards me.

"I've seen this before," I whisper.

"Say what?" Josh scoots closer again so he can hear me. When I look at him again the movie starts to disappear. I don't know what I'm thinking.

I scoot closer to him.

"I said I've seen this movie before," I repeat, slightly louder. Josh is staring at me now without hesitation. I can tell he's tired, yet he has no issue with keeping his eyes on me. He looks like a puppy dog, pleading for any sort of attention.

"Oh, have you?" He says. This time, he's whispering, yet he's close enough that I can hear him just fine. I only realize, now, that our knees our touching, exactly as they did at the pizza bar. My heart rate picks up as Josh scans every detail of my face.

"Mhm," I hum. I look at his lips. They look soft. My hand twitches as I resist the urge to reach up and brush my thumb across his lip. How much have I had to drink?

"Jordan..." He starts, leaning in.

"Josh?" I gulp, looking back into his eyes.

Green eyes.

His hand slowly moves itself to my forearm.

"I am..." He laughs softly. "I think I have to be wasted." His hand slowly moves up my arm and to my shoulder but he doesn't stop. He brushes his thumb across my collarbone before he gently settles his hand gently at the side of my neck.

"Me, too," I whisper. Josh parts his lips and slowly moves closer to me, his thumb brushing my jawline. Is he going to kiss me? Holy shit. Is Joshua Washington going to kiss me? My heart pounds and I worry for a moment that I'm about to die. My chest is going to burst open at any second now.

"So we should stop," I say breathlessly, my hands quickly moving to his chest. It was surprisingly solid. My heart is twisted harshly, my chest so tight it felt as if my ribs would shatter at any moment. I half expect him to call me ugly, to scoff and roll his eyes, tell me it was just a joke.

But he doesn't.

Instead, he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against my own.

"I'm sorry, Jordan, I don't know what came over me," he spoke softly, just above a whisper. His hand doesn't leave it's place on my skin, and for some unspeakable reason I don't mind it. "Can I just... I'm... I don't know. Things feel fine with you," he admits, whispering as if I'll break if he speaks too loud. "Can we just stay like this for a while?" I nod, closing my own eyes as he rests his head on my shoulder. My hands move to his head as if on instinct, one hand brushing his hair softly and the other tracing circles on his back. He slowly wraps his arms around me in a loose hug, his weight pushing me backwards as he fell deeper into sleep.

Instead of laying back, myself, I slowly guided his head to my lap, where I continued to run my fingers through his hair.

"Chris would go insane if he saw this," I chuckle, a small smile on my face.

"You drive me insane," Josh mumbles something I can barely catch.

"Says you, Mr. Locker-Rats," I scoff. He smiles at the nickname.

"That's such a stupid name," he laughs. He takes a deep breath and his smile falters. Thank you, Jordan," he sighs, turning over into his side. "I really needed this."

"Hm?"

"I need this..." Josh says as he drifts off to sleep.

I'm sober now.

I know I'll remember this. I'll remember this for the rest of my life. The fragile body of my worst enemy left open and vulnerable to me like no one else had ever been, his head in my lap, with what felt like his soul held in my very hands. I felt as if one wrong move would break him.

Would he remember? Will he still be so kind, so gentle when everyone else can see him be kind to me?

I didn't think so. I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. Despite my reservations I continue to slowly pet his thick, soft hair. It's now, as I look down at him sleeping, that I start to realize that maybe I don't hate him anymore.

Maybe we could be some sort of friends.

I smile to myself and sigh, leaning back against the couch. I swear right then that I wouldn't fall asleep. Once the movie was over, I would go to my own room to spare Josh and I the embarrassment of being found in such a comfortable position with each other.

"You've changed," I murmur. "I think I like it." He says nothing. As the movie goes on, I watch his body rise and fall with his steady breathing. He'd been good to me today.

As the credits roll, I gently slide out from under him and replace my lap with a pillow under Josh's head. He doesn't move, and I lay a nearby throw blanket over him. I contemplate removing his boots, but decide against it to avoid waking him up. As I crouch down to his level, I take a moment to examine his face.

I hate to admit it, I do, but he looked serene. I thought to myself that maybe it was time to admit that he was physically appealing. I felt a safety and comfort around Josh, now, that I'd never felt before. Why? Is he really that different? Does he really care about me?

Or are we both drunk?

I chew on my lip as I stare at him. I don't know what's happening to me, I don't know what's come over me, but I run my fingers through his hair one more time as I place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. He shifts, and for a split second I think I see him trying to hold back a smile. I squint, but he doesn't move again. I sigh.

"Goodnight, Joshua."

--------------

Hey y'all! Thank you so much for your patience. This chapter did not want to work with me and kept not saving progress made and I kept having to re write it. I believe this chapter is a bit longer than normal, so I hope that makes up for it! The next one will be longer, too. I love talking to everybody, so thank you all so much for the kind comments, they make me so happy. Much love!!

Also: Accidentally posted this early, so some may be seeing this a second time. If that's you, this is the FINISHED chapter! Thank you.

❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @sc4rrc @mattymxmo @cellyx33 @jenepleurepasbaby @kalynnjonas @spinback-kiva @frankcastlesvest @barnxsromanxff

#josh washington #josh washington x reader #josh washington x you #joshua washington #until dawn #until dawn x reader #x reader #fanfiction

170 notes · View notes

thirstywoso · 3 months ago

Text

Modern Loneliness - Jessie Fleming (18+)

A/N: just a quick random one to keep people appeased - as per usual it was a rushed job whilst I work on some other stuff :)

W/C: 2.1K

Synopsis: Jessie and yourself find a way to relieve the tensions of a long distance relationship

Warnings: smut mdni 18+, descriptions of sex, breeding link, praise kink, masturbation

You were used to Jessie being away for long periods at a time, that's the way it had always been.

You'd met her one night at a bar after she had won the super league for the first time with Chelsea, you didn't have any interest in soccer and didn't even know who she was. That didn't stop the high of the win and the buzz of the drink in her veins from chatting you up, in fact being oblivious to who she was only made her want you more and you, you loved a girl who was a mystery.

You'd worked in the small exclusive bar that Jessie and her teammates had partied in all night for quite some time, so you were fairly used to having customers flirting over the bar. However, something you weren't as used to was them stood by the back door at 2am after you'd finished locking up for the night.

Looking for someone to help end her night on a high and you deciding a famous soccer player being added to your "bedded" list would be a cool story to tell at parties was what led you to wake up naked the next day in her bed, a mixture of clothes scattered around the room.

What was supposed to be a one night stand turned in to two nights, then three and then four. Before you knew it you and Jessie had moved in together and were celebrating three years together, of course it came with the ups and downs. One of those being her endless away day trips or National camps, you'd coped though, you both did. That was until Jessie had moved to Portland and you were finally thriving in you career that had taken off a year after dating the brunette.

Although you'd managed to get a job in Portland with the same firm, your life in London wasn't quite wrapped up and the Portland office wasn't ready for you just yet. This meant you'd been apart from Jessie for two months, the longest you'd ever gone without curling into her side or kissing her cute little freckled nose.

It also meant you were very frustrated... sexually. That's what led you to tonight, you were kind of tired but it was a Friday night, you'd finished work for the week, Jessie had not long been home from training and she had just finished an early dinner.

You were already in bed as it was one in the morning but as you doom scrolled your frown quickly turned upside down as you saw the picture of Jessie flash up on screen.

"Hey baby" you answer as her sweet little face came into view.

"Hey beautiful!" She says excitedly blowing you a kiss.

You talked about your days and before long you were fidgeting from how restless you were. Jessie being as observant as she is soon noticed this.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked with a hint of concern in her voice, of course you tried to brush her off but she was persistent.

"I just miss you Jess" you whine, looking at the camera pointedly.

"Is that so..." she smirks her voice lowering.

"So bad, my own hands are nothing compared to yours" you say with a sigh.

Suddenly Jessie disappears and you find yourself staring at her ceiling before you hear her scramble for her phone and she comes back into view, only this time she is shirtless.

"Take your top off baby" she says with confidence "let me see those pretty tits" she smiles at you as if butter wouldn't melt.

"Oh" is all you manage to squeak out, seeing Jessie's bare skin even through the phone screen sent a rush of arousal to your centre.

You remove your shirt quickly before appearing back on the screen, an audible gasp coming from the other side of the phone.

"I may not be there to touch you, to fuck you or to make your legs shake as you come apart on my fingers..." she says matter of fact "...but... I can still tell you exactly how I'd touch you if I was there" she smirks

"And I expect you to follow my instructions" she bites her lip looking at you, judging by the movement on the other side of the screen you know exactly where Jessie's free hand has just gone. All you can do is just nod in response.

"Firstly I want you to slide your hand into those sleep shorts I know that you are wearing" she says with a slight laugh. You do as you're told, even though she wasn't there physically, you knew better than to disobey those orders of hers.

Your hand snaked it's way down your toned abdomen and under the waistband of your shorts, tilting the phone down you show Jessie where your hand was now resting on your pelvic bone.

"Good girl" she mutters "Now be even better for me and put those fingers to good use, circle that pretty little clit baby girl" wasting no time the pads of your fingers start by gently swiping across your bundle of nerves and then back again.

Within minutes you're picking up a rhythm in which your fingers switch from gentle circling to a more desperate rub. You look back at your phone screen checking that your brown eyed girl could see exactly what you were doing, her lip tucked between her teeth didn't go unnoticed by you and the gentle shifting of her bicep gave you a clue to exactly how she felt about watching you.

"Oh you look so pretty when you touch yourself" she praises you as you wiggle out of your shorts. "Fuckkk" she groans out seeing your naked form now filling her screen. "Think you can dip those fingers inside for me?" She asks.

You continue to tease and rub your clit, a slight moan or whimper accidentally falling from your lips from time to time. "Don't hold back, let me hear you" she almost whispers in awe as she stares at the screen her own hand rocking back and forth across her heat now also visible on the screen.

You let out a loud guttural moan dignity be damned as two of your fingers slide into your entrance bottoming out at the knuckle and curling into your soft spot. A little more than she had asked for but you couldn't resist the hug of your fingers from your tight walls.

After opening your eyes that you hadn't realised you squeezed shut you tilted the phone back up to look at Jessie, her lip still tucked between her teeth as faint noises of satisfaction filtered through the phone, as you strained to hear them you realised the noise that was drowning out her slight whimpers was the sounds of her fingers curling in and out of her dripping pussy.

"Fuck Jessie, you sound so wet baby" you moan, eyes rolling back as your fingers now copy the speed and motion that Jessie has now showed you her fingers are doing. "All for you" she sighs curling her fingers deeper, the squelch proving just how much she was dripping for you.

"I've missed you so much, I can't wait until I'm there with you" you say swallowing your sadness and instead focus on the task at hand.

"Between your legs, the pad of my thumb circling your clit, two digits on my free hand stroking along your entrance... before pushing into you nice and deep" you pause taking a deep breath.

"You panting as I curl my thick long fingers against your weak spot over and over, hitting nice and deep Jess" she groans and whimpers at your words her fingers speeding up on herself. You can't help but bite your lip as you reach for the toy in your dresser, urging Jessie to do the same. Both back on the bed with your toys begging at your entrance you both talk each other through taking such big toys.

As you stretch around the plastic and watch Jessie do the same you continue talking to her "My lips suckling down on your throbbing clit as I add my third finger, your arousal dripping down my hand and wrist as I hit a delicious angle"

A moan rips from Jessie's throat as you continue, your words dripping with lust "funny Jessie, you told me you'd instruct me but look who is here weak for my words" you let out a sarcastic laugh.

"What can I say, you're so fucking hot" it comes out all breathy and you groan, grinding your hips against the palm of your hand for extra relief.

"As soon as I pull my fingers out I'll replace them with my tongue, lapping at your entrance before fucking you with it, curling deeper and deeper inside of you. Tasting every fucking inch of you whilst you suck my fingers clean" she cries out as brings herself to the edge, just as you think she's about to cum she pulls her toy out and the screen flashes up to her face where she begins sucking on the silicone that only moments ago had been deep inside her.

"Fuck Jessie, I want to taste you so bad" you pant as you slow down to keep your orgasm as bay.

"Not long now, I'll be back in London in two weeks for a friendly" she says removing the toy from her mouth with a pop.

"Not soon enough" you gasp out as you begin circling your clit again.

"I can't wait to be so full of you" she sighs somewhat sadly, to give her thought emphasis she shoved the phallic object in her hand inside her to the hilt again her toes curling.

You copy her actions before fumbling with the base of your toy flicking it to life as you find the right button. The slow vibration of the toy inside you causing you to squeeze your thighs together your walls fluttering as you stretch yourself once again.

"I can't wait to fill you, you will take my cock so well won't you princess? You look so pretty as you stretch yourself around me. Your mouth agape as I pound you closer to an earth shattering orgasm. I want you to feel so full of me and know that I am all yours" you groan almost dropping the phone as you turn up the vibration.

"I want your babies y/n" she says before her eyes shoot open realising what she said as your hand stills momentarily before speeding up. "Oh Jess, that's so fucking hot" you can see the relief wash across her features as she fucks herself harder.

"You want me to fill you baby? You want me to fuck you nice and good? Stretch out that pretty pussy? Watch you take every inch of my cock before I unload in you? Filling you with my babies?" You're so turned on you can't even stop yourself from letting it all out.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!" She chants. "I want to watch you swell with my babies. You'd be such a good mumma" you pause "look how wet you're getting, you really are a slutty girl aren't you Jessie" you giggle.

"So wet, I want it bad baby, I know it's not possible, but when I'm back in London I want you to try, try and knock me up"

"There's no harm in trying, I won't stop until you're filled with mini Flemings" you gasp as you flick up to the highest vibration, as you sit up straddling the pillow from Jessie's side of the bed, helping the toy angle up inside you.

It's been so long since you remembered being stretched in such a way, the way you rocked back and forth driving it deeper inside you. Your eyes screwed shut and your lip tucked between your teeth.

You ride the pillow imaging it's Jessie, you watch as she copies you. Both of your hips stuttering back and forth across your pillows as your toys hit the spot you needed each other most. You begin to bounce lightly with ever roll of the hips, the toy hitting you so deep. "You feel how deep that toy is?" You ask Jessie as she nods.

"That's how deep I'll cum inside you" a shriek rips through the phone, you're not sure which one of you it came from as you both fall forwards onto the bed as you orgasms wash over you. You have no energy to lift the phone but neither does Jessie.

The sounds of you both panting is the only noise to fill the air. "Well, that was better than doing it solo" you say with a laugh.

Jessie let's out a sound of approval, too spent to string an actual sentence together.

#woso #woso x reader #jessie fleming #jflem #wofo #woso imagine #portland thorns #women's football #women's soccer #canwnt #woso smut #canada women #wsl #jessie fleming smut #jessie fleming fic #jessie fleming imagine #woso fanfics

236 notes · View notes

scoobydoodean · 4 months ago

Note

Hi im a samgirl and i dont mind if others feel differently about this but if you are interested in a samgirl perspective, the short story to sam's allegorical queerness is that sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family. He felt that there was something dirty or unclean about himself which is how a lot of marginalized queer children feel growing up. It's not that queerness itself is monstrous but that society and the patriarchal family unit will cast queerness as the monstrous Other, which is why monstrosity is a pretty common queer allegory.

I keep getting asks about queer Sam and I'm not sure exactly why, other than people maybe assume I have a strong opinion about it. The simple truth is that I just don't find what's said about it compelling so it doesn't interest me. I have no issue with other people exploring it and don't have any desire to ruin anyone's fun. It's just that I don't personally see it when I dig deeper than the surface level of "he felt different" and examine why and exactly what Sam actually wanted and why he felt that way. I will get into that here to an extent I guess because I was asked in another piece of mail what my opinions were, but I don't intend it as an "argument" to start a fight or to dismantle anyone else's perception—just an explanation of my personal lack of interest in this particular type of meta.

First, I don't think "Sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family" works for me as a queer meta when the reason Sam felt "fundamentally different" was that—according to his own early framing—he was the normal one trapped in a family of freaks who wanted him to be a freak like them.

Sam says in 1.08 that he felt different from Dean and John, but when we read on to see why, he says it's because he wanted to play soccer instead of being a child soldier.

SAM Because I didn't wanna bowhunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. DEAN Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.

For people too young to get "the blonde chick in The Munsters", Dean is referring to Marilyn Munster, who was the one "normal" person in a family of monsters in a 1960s sitcom.

In childhood flashbacks in 4.13, Sam refuses to fight Dirk at first even though he could easily best him using the skills he learned from their father.

YOUNG DEAN That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? YOUNG SAM Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.

In both situations, Sam views his family and what they do as freakish and wants to distinguish himself as the one normal one trapped in a family of monsters who is at threat of becoming like them by pure association and family pressure.

YOUNG SAM Yeah, my, aah -- my dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too. MR. WYATT Do you want to go in the family business, Sam? YOUNG SAM No one's ever asked me that before. MR. WYATT Well? YOUNG SAM More than anything, no.

In 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, one of Sam's greatest childhood memories is getting to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner in a normal, upper middle class household instead of sitting around with "A bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."

In 1.01, he says he wants to be nothing like his family. He says he is normal unlike them when Dean is telling him they're the same:

DEAN You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are. SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.

Sam sees the upbringing that he has in common with Dean as something almost... humiliating—to the point that he plans to lie to Jess forever about how he was raised and about his family (1.01).

All of this to say... when the queer allegory I'm being sold is that a guy is queer because he wants to go to college, get married, have 2.5 kids, go no contact with his brother (because Dean isn't normal like him?), and lie about his family to his friends because the idea of them knowing he didn't grow up normal is embarrassing... I don't feel like I'm reading a queer allegory. I'd be more likely to think that if anything, I'm reading a comedy from the POV of "the token straight" who initially functions (in the Pilot) as the "normal" character to introduce the "normal" audience to an "abnormal" world in a relatable, palatable way.

That said, when we embrace the fact that the Winchesters are a family of freaks, there is an easy counterpoint here which is that Sam's attitude in the beginning of the series represents being closeted and desperately trying to assimilate with normal society and be perceived as just like everybody else... and his freak family is in the way. In this case, Sam knows deep down that he is like his family (i.e. queer) but desperately wishes he wasn't so that he could fit in. Given that I'm a big believer in Sam being a hunter through and through despite his occasional denials, I find this much more compelling than the argument that Sam feeling othered in his family because he sees himself (at least at first) as the one normal one makes him queer.

*One of you shaking me back and forth*

"But PK—WHAT ABOUT THE DEMON BLOOD?!?!"

Yeah yeah yeah. While it doesn't start out that way, eventually, Sam does reflect on his childhood and see himself as Megamind instead of Marilyn Munster. This is retroactive though (in my opinion. I do not actually believe Sam could "sense" his dormant powers) after finding out that Azazel dropped blood into his mouth when he was a baby. Instead of feeling like the normal one in a family of freaks, Sam starts to feel like the biggest freak in the family, and Dean's "I'm a freak too" suddenly feels like platitudes. Dean—whose calls Sam didn't pick up for years—starts to seem like the normal one—the good one—between them. Dean is the hero character, the righteous man, the sword of heaven... and Sam thinks in his worst moments that he is someone Hero!Dean should be duty bound to kill (2.11). These are all feelings that (again—in my opinion) develop later. I talk about Sam's feelings of otherness and why he actually had those feelings and how I think the demon blood erroneously comes into play as an explanation for his insecurities here.

I think it probably also makes sense to mention here that the idea that Sam was treated as a monster by his family is very very overstated by portions of fandom. I'm not saying Sam never had reason to feel different or othered or unloved or neglected—he absolutely did (as did Dean). I am saying that people like to write about things that never actually happened when they talk about how Sam was treated growing up. Sam felt different from his family because John let Dean start hunting when he was younger than Sam, then he felt different because he wanted to play soccer and go to school while John wanted him to hunt, and because he thought Dean enjoyed being a parentified child and being raised like a soldier and Sam didn't. Retroactively, Sam feels different when he finds out he has powers. These do not develop until he is an adult, and it is never indicated to us that John knew about any of this when Sam was growing up—much less treated him differently growing up because of it. Retroactively, Sam believes Dean sees him as a freak for having visions even though Dean repeatedly treats his visions as no big deal and psychics are an accepted and trusted group within the hunter community (see: Missouri, Pam, Fred). Retroactively, Sam feels different because he was fed blood as a baby. He did not know this until he was an adult, and neither did Dean, as far as we know, neither did John. Sam never believes that Dean would act on John's last whispered command (that again—does not transpire until Sam is an adult) to the point that he repeatedly tries to guilt Dean into promises to follow through and carry out John's will. Retroactively, Sam feels like a freak in season 4 because Sam chooses to drink a completely different demon's blood of his own free will and develop a completely new power set and Dean doesn't think it's a good thing.

TL;DR Sam did not grow up being treated as the monstrous other by his dad and brother. He grew up as an understandably rebellious kid whose dad was a neglectful asshole and a drill sergeant, and he hated being dragged from place to place with no say. He felt different because he stood in contrast to a brother who tried his best to keep the peace because experience taught Dean that refusing to obey would get people killed (1.18), John would send Dean away if Dean gave him lip (14.12), and Dean felt he had to be there to take care of Sam and John (1.06).

More or less, these are the reasons I don't find the queer Sam metas I have stumbled across particularly compelling (along with—imo—Jared's lack of romantic chemistry with other men). At the same time, people seeing Sam as queer or not queer doesn't bother me. I am not trying to "take away" that interpretation from anyone else (as if I even could). I'm just not interested.

#mail #sam and isolation

204 notes · View notes

fairlyang · 11 months ago

Text

Woken up 🕷️

You get woken up by miguel eating you out

w/c: 2.1K

pairing: miguel o’hara x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. fwb, some kind of plot, lots of teasing, spend time apart, he finds you in bed, can't help it, eats you out, but you're asleep, kinda dub-con, somno, you wake up

Miguel didn't do relationships which was why everyone thought it was odd and strange when he was always so soft towards you. You didn't question it, you thought you'd just given him the best first impression possible but that wasn't exactly the case.

He was fascinated by you, captivated by your beauty, wit, and sarcasm. Although it irritated him that you were one of the few that wasn't afraid to stand up to him or talk back, that was one of the things he especially liked about you.

He eventually started flirting with you as well as seeing how you'd react when giving you little touches like his hand pressed against the small of your back, or lightly wrapping his arm around your shoulder. When he saw you ease into it, he started testing the waters a little more by putting his hand on your knee, or getting his face really close to yours. Even took it a step further and would have his hand on your thigh rubbing circles on it.

Eventually you caught on and started doing the same to see how he liked it. Well he did, but in another sense he didn't. He hated the effect you had on him almost instantly. His ego was never going to let him cave before you.

He was slightly teasing you even more by going behind you breathing down your neck when you were alone or have his hands on your hips when you stood still.

You didn't always wear your suit at HQ sometimes having some sweats around or just a hoodie with the suit underneath, and he allowed it until you started wearing provocative clothing. He couldn't stand the idea of other people staring at you the way he did so he told you that you were no longer an exception to that rule but you had fun while it lasted wearing tops and dresses that accentuated every inch and curve of your body.

So then you took your tight fitted suit to your advantage by rubbing your ass against him "on accident" and even going as far as reaching down to pick something up from the floor when you knew he was watching.

He then decided enough was enough and he quickly grabbed your hand and dragged you to his office to finally have you. He demanded you take off your suit while he took his off. When you were both fully nude he smashed your lips together and his hands were all over your body, feeling how soft your skin was and you were feeling him at the same time. A passionate and almost hungry kiss. All the teasing that lead up to this had you both aching to just get to it. So you did.

That didn't end up being the last time you did it at HQ and you'd go to him when you needed his touch and vice versa.

Turns out both of you were always so needy so he made you share his office with him. It made your lives much easier instead of running and swinging around trying to find each other.

You both tried to be as discreet as possible not wanting to bring attention to yourselves even more than before. It didn't stop your friends from pestering you to tell them about it. Miles and Gwen being the most curious and nosy. Good thing you had an incredible poker face and were a decent liar. Hobie on the other hand kind of read through you but you knew he wouldn't say anything.

It did end up going under the radar and they soon stopped asking questions and focusing on putting Hobie on with someone which didn't go well..... You thought you were in the clear and your secret would just be forever hidden until Jess ended up catching you on your knees in front of Miguel in your shared office. She quickly looked away and said she didn't see a thing and left.

She ended up pulling you aside a few days after and asking how you managed to do that out of curiosity and you just shrugged confused by it yourself. She didn't tell a soul and the secret has been hidden for five months now.

You both always had to keep it at a minimum considering you both move in and out of universes especially when you aren't always in the same teams for missions. Although you were practically his right hand girl he didn't always automatically schedule you to be on his team, especially if it was high odds of it being hard to complete or really dangerous.

But this led to him seeing you a bit less given he didn't want to put you in any danger and the timing was never on point.

He felt himself crave you at moments he shouldn't. He thought of you, and your body in the middle of missions, he'd try to shake off the ideas, and positions he wanted you in but it was extremely hard. You were always the first and last thing he thought of right when the day started and ended.

It was the same way for you but you had slightly more time on your hands because he let you choose what you wanted to help out with at HQ. You'd help out your friends, read up on files, and label vials. But always in the back of your mind was Miguel and the way he would touch you, breathe you in, please you.

Something you had always wanted to try with Miguel was somnophilia, whether it be you or him giving each other head while you slept. He loved the idea but as time wasn't ever on your sides it never happened. But it was always on the back of your mind anytime you went to sleep.

You went to sleep tired as fuck after a long day of dealing with all the dipshits not doing their job right in your regular job on your Earth during the morning, and helping out at HQ almost directly after. You decided to go back to your Earth after you were done putting away the anomalies you successfully caught. You changed as fast as possible only wearing a random shirt and some panties. You went straight to bed and knocked the fuck out.

Miguel went to go find you in your room at HQ but he didn't see you there and went back to his own quarters. He went into his room seeing you weren't in his bed either and began to panic. Then he realized there was one other place you could be and he made a portal to go to your Earth.

He walked through and was in your living room. He closed the portal and walked to your room quietly. He open the door slowly trying to not make any noise and goes inside. He closes it slowly and turns around, a sigh of relief leaving his mouth seeing you asleep on your bed.

Although you've been mainly just fucking around he's grown close to you, he's grown to care for you more than he imagined.

He walked closer to your bed, right on the edge as he looks as you closely. Your shirt had gone up to your back exposing your lower back and curves. One of your legs was laid straight down and the other was lifted up. One hand under your cheek and the other swung out.

He easily took notice of the tiny red thing you were wearing. His mind was already running wild and he hasn't seen you in a few days. He felt hungry.

He moves to the left side of your side and sat down by your legs. His fingers lightly went up and down your legs and thighs. Good thing you were a heavy sleeper.

He felt bold so he moved your already stretched out leg a bit farther so now you were a bit arched, more than before that is. His mouth salivated at the sight in front of him. He knew if he started there was no going back.

His fingers lightly traced up and down your leg, he noticed you didn't move so he went higher up his hands playing with your ass. You stirred a tiny bit and he stopped but then kept going. He carefully tried to take your thong off but knew he wouldn't be able to peel it off from your knees. He tried but just left them there.

His eyes widen at your already slick cunt. He smirks and lays down between your legs. He lightly blows against your slit and you squirm a bit making him chuckle. He spreads your ass then lets go letting it jiggle and he swears. He's never played with you unconscious but you've both talked about trying it someday, and right now was the perfect time for him to try.

He leaves a kiss to your slit then kitten licks down to your clit and moves back up to your slit absolutely loving how you taste. It's something he can never get tired of.

After a few minutes of him doing that and not much movement from you, he decided to change his pace.

He was then devouring your pussy as if it were his last meal. Not stopping and wrapping his arms tightly against your hips. You were now squirming and slowly waking up. But he wasn't going to stop until you came all over his mouth conscious or unconscious.

You were now letting out some moans and your breathing becoming unsteady. Miguel moans against your pussy and collected all your dripping juices on his tongue. Suddenly you let out a shaky breath, opening your eyes, and wake up letting out a whimper.

This made Miguel even more feral and he went down to suck on your clit making you squirm but he held you down how he needed. "M-Miggy?" You asked breathless, your eyes hazy and feeling his hands grip you harder.

"Oh- o-oh fuck- Miguel." You whine and spread your legs so he can have more space.

He smacks your ass as a thanks and you moan into your pillow. You could hear the slurping noises and his tongue working it's magic making you somehow even more wet. You could feel him go up and down your slit and even tease your hole making you whimper. He gently spreads your folds and you feel him blow on it making you shiver. "y-you're sick-"

"Te encanta nena." He murmurs and goes back to it very softly and slowly trying to stick his tongue in your pussy. (You love it baby)

You whimper again and feel your body shiver and your orgasm fast approaching. "M-Miggy- fuck- asi así-" you whine and try to buck your hips against his mouth. (Like that, like that)

He pulls away and spit on it and dives right back in. You feel him lick down to your clit when suddenly he slides one finger inside you accidentally going all the way because of your slickness. You whimper and he sticks another finger in and starts pumping them in and out of you fast. You squirm and he starts curling them up and going deeper inside you.

His mouth is on your clit sucking on it and his fingers dripping while coming in and out of you. "M- fuck! Miguel- amor no parres- i-I'm so close-" (don’t stop)

He goes even faster, deeper, his mouth devours your folds and sensitive clit making your legs start to shake. He never pulls away, practically making out with your clit and fucking you with his fingers when he suddenly adds a third and you clench against them moaning out and feeling so close.

Your legs start shaking and that feeling in your stomach coming up fast. The final moan was a mix of that, a scream, and a whimper. Miguel slows down as you ride your high and lets go of his grip on your hips.

He leaves little kisses on your thighs before slowly taking his fingers out of you. You whimper suddenly feeling empty and can't seem to move, extremely used up and tired. He pulls your shirt down and gets in bed pulling you towards him. You were still shaking as it's been a while since Miguel's last been able to play with you.

"Estas bien amor. I'm here." He whispers leaves a kiss on your cheek. (You're okay my love)

Your breathing calms down and you look up at him. "T-thanks." You whisper and weakly smile.

"Of course. I mean I just couldn't help it...." He whispers and leaves a small peck on your lips before pulling away.

"Go to sleep angel, I'll be here tomorrow I promise." Was the last thing you heard before falling asleep in his arms.

#miguel ohara #miguel ohara imagine #across the spiderverse #miguel ohara x y/n #Miguel O’Hara smut #miguel ohara smut #spiderman 2099 #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x you

750 notes · View notes

stary-darlin · 7 months ago

Text

JUST HOLDING HER LIKE THAT, MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE TURNING BACK

— ex!ellie williams × reader

It's been 150 days since your last conversation with Ellie, which was an argument, unfortunately. none of you were pleased by the result of it, yet you two still decided to not talk, ignoring when your friends asked you about what happened or if you guys still have a connection with each other. you both were at fault.

And just like teenagers, you both would eye each other when you see each other in the club or anywhere honestly. luck wasn't at any of your sides, maybe because both of you were scardy cats that would die if you chatted with your ex that you still love? maybe.

Moral of the story: both of you became strangers, trying to forget your significant other's name each time you heard their name be called, your body letting out an electric shock each time your shoulders touched each other.

Ellie's friend, Dina knew damn well what was going on, and she was not surprised by so. since when you guys were friends – before confessing your love to each other – you both did the same thing. blushing when you would get close to each other like some teenagers, staying quiet when you sit next to each other. even though you both were pleading for each other's love, your eyes would say it all. As they say, eyes are the window of the soul, and it was indeed. but Dani knew she had to stop this period drama play of yours.

So she came up with a plan that would work on the dumbest couple in the whole world – aka you and Ellie if that's not visible – but needed others' help so she called Abby and Jesse.

SATURDAY, 23:08 PM

— Jesse: why are we doing this again?...

— Dina: to stop them from looking like sad puppies when they see each other

— Jesse: damn right lol

— Abby: so what are we going to do?

— Dina: okay so we will invite them to our party but separately, so they don't know that the other is coming.

— Jesse: okay...

— Abby: mhm

— Dina: and you both know that Ellie has a low tolerance for alcohol

— Abby: so she gets drunk and confesses to y/n? bet.

— Jesse: tbh, I feel like we will regret this...

— Dina: Shut up jesse, come in 30 minutes.

Dina called you, inviting you to the party as the plan says, and you agreed to a party freak like yourself. Dani nodded to the others and set up the living room with LED lights and party decorations, sipping on their fresh drinks when they were done as a prize for their hard work.

"Imagine if this doesn't work," Jesse spoke to himself, "I would die cause I have a test in like two days."

Both Abby and Dina glared at him like two eagles looking for their meal of the day which shut Jesse up. "as if you get good grades in 'em or study" abby replied to him before rolling her eyes and opening her phone, calling ellie with Jesse's stunned expression in the background.

When you arrived to dina's apartment, abby was done with inviting ellie with force because ellie said she didnt feel good a.k.a felt depressed after the break up that was five months ago, i mean come on ellie is sad cause she lost her ultimate sweetheart, her sweet soulmate.

You parted with all three like there was no tomorrow, all of you hugging with your arms on your shoulders while jumping around with your glasses in hand. dani and abby looked at each other, finding it weird that abby didn't come till now and it was already 20 minutes after ending the call. jesse couldn't even care, he was having the time of his life dancing with you and drinking shots of vodka, letting the burning effect of the alcohol burn down his throat.

"Where is ellie?" dina whispered to abby while pretending to dance, "didn't you call her like 20 minutes ago?"

Abby looked down at her phone and nodded, "yes, she said she will come after 10 minutes."

Dina groaned and took a shot before taking her phone and calling ellie. ellie answered quickly, pretending to cough and making the excuse that she's sick, letting dina pull out plan B.

"Don't you want to get back with your darling sweetheart?" she whispered angrily to the phone, forcing a smile and raising her glass when you smile to her. ellie then all of a sudden ellie was no longer sick, "wait, what? you have her with you? oh my god, thank you, thank you."

"Just come fucking here before she passes out from all the drinks shes taking–" she hung up and ellie jumped off her bed like super mario, putting on the sexiest silk black blouse on herself, was it because she was going to re-marry you today? yes, actually, she daydreamed of being your husband with the confidence of a greek god.

As you went to the bathroom, you heard loud banging that you later on ignored when Dina opened the door. you fix your lipstick, apply another coat on your lips before adding lip balm on for a little glossy look, looking at your face for a last time before opening the door and walking back to the living room, the loud music muffling the sounds of the chatter and laughter as you tilted your head to the side and took another glass that was on the kitchen's pantry with the other snacks, noticing a hand take the last glass right in front of you, trapping you on the side of the pantry. turning around you saw Ellie with that black blouse that was perfect with her biceps and her skin color, looking at her with widened expressions, both of you keeping eye contact for a moment before you walked away with the glass in hand.

Ellie turned around, her eyes following your figure, watching the way your jeans skirt moved on your hips with each step you took and the tight crop top with graphics on it, showing your torso and body to her, causing Ellie's mouth to water for a second. remembering she has to act sexy and cool to attract you back, she put down the glass and took a shot of vodka that was soon mixed with other rough heavy alcohol drink.

She watched you in the corner of everywhere, admiring your beauty that was in its most divine shapes; looking like a painting that was waiting for her to start painting to complete it, and she does admit you both complete each other and that's what she loved about you. she didn't have to work hard for anything cause she knew you were worth all her time, she was willing to be the mark to your Cleopatra with every fiber in her body.

She held her chuckle and smile when she watched you almost trip on the couch's leg, seems like the alcohol was working indeed. and her clumsy little sweetheart just keeping on tripping over and over again before letting out a tiny burp, she knew it was her show time. So she walked to you with her hands in her pants, "hey, you good, babe?" she whispered against your ear, causing you to flinch and look back at her, your eyes closing and opening lazily.

"Yeah, you are not, are you? come, should we go to the guest room?" she took your hand with her arm around your waist, her hand grasping your waist with slight grip. her braincells laughing and giggling at being able to feel you again. "come, let's go."

She walked you to the guest room that was away from everyone, chuckling to herself as she saw you with your gaze still on her looking like a total deer in the headlights. "stop looking at me like that, babe." she tilting her head to the side as she slide you into her other arm to close the door behind her.

"Woah–" you replied to her with your lips curled into an 'O' shape, your eyes turning into hearts as you stared at the two unbottoned buttons that gave you the view of her fair skin, making your cheeks redden. ellie hummed and looked at where you stared at her before letting out a laughter and looking back at you, her eyes narrowed into a curve with her lips, her smirk causing you to let out random babbles.

"Uh-huh, baby?" ellie played along as she placed the back of her hand against the side of your cheek, screaming internally as she felt the warmth of your soft cheeks that were caused by the alcohol. "u–...uh-huh" you shuttered as you nodded with nothing but pure emptiness in your head.

"You're so fucking cute, god." she groaned as she leaned in, taking your lips against yours, savoring every second of it. her hands cupping your face to the back of your ears – with ellie deepening the kiss – her tongue sliding against your parted lips, tasting your cherry lip balm causing her to groan once more. leaning back to let you get your breath, your face flushed with your lipstick smudged, turning on ellie even more.

You whimper softly while opening your eyes lazily, leaning your head closer to her face, and putting your palm on her collarbone, tip-toeing your way to the top to take another kiss, whimpering once more as she backs away playfully. "Do you even know what you're doing right now?"

"Uh-huh..." you nodded before tip-toeing again to kiss her, causing her to lean back before your lips meet hers, "let me–" you pout as you try one again, only repeating the same loop over and over again until you got tired to the point you started tearing up. Head down and bottom lip forward into a sad pout. "No, baby. Don't cry, I'm sorry." Ellie quickly lifted you head see your face, wiping the tears away with her hand cupping your face to only see that it was all an act. "Are you actin–" you cut her off by kissing her but this time you were the one in lead, tip-toeing on her shoe as you pressed your body against her, one of your arms on the beginning of her back and the other on the back of her head. Letting out a soft gasp as she bites your bottom lip, pouting as the shining pain continues when she continues kissing you.

Your intimate moment speaking words as much as your actions did, ellie leaded you to the bed while not letting go of your lips as if she wanted to get a new record on kissing you for the longest time.

"Ellie–" you gasped once more, hands on her shoulders as you pulled away from the kiss for a little mini break, all of that kissing sobering you up. "You–...we shouldn't do this."

Ellie frowned and took your hand to her chest where the heart, "you love me still, don't you?" You nodded with a pout, "and I love you so that means nothing is wrong with it. Now come here–" she took your lips against hers before you pulled away again.

"But we broke up" you spoke as you gazed up at her, "okay and? It was a heated argument, baby. We both couldn't live without each other." You looked over at her eyes, the shine in them like the one when she confessed to you; real and true.

"Look, I'm sorry for raising my voice. I regretted it since then and didn't know how to make up for it, I'm really, really sorry. I loved you since the first day I saw you, and the same love for you is still with me, I love you with every energy to my soul." She confessed while keeping her tilted head beside yours, her hand on your jaw with the other on the other side of your hips, pinning you to the bed. You let out a soft whine of her name as you pouted, tears in your eyes as you kissed her once again but this time it was heated and full of regret and hope for the upcoming, ellie let out a groan and leaned closer, cupping your throat with one hand, her thumb pressing gently on it.

"You don't know how much I missed you, missed this." She murmured against your lips before continuing to kiss you, parting your lips with her tongue which caused you to let out a soft moan as you lay down on the bed with ellie on top, following you.

As the situation got more heated, Jesse walked past the room to go to the bathroom since abby was in the other one and heard muffled moans and gasps, his face reddened as soon as he knew what you and ellie are doing. Dina followed him to ask him about what music to play next and heard the noises too, her expression freezing as she looked at the door.

"I told you we will soon regret this..." Jesse whispered to her while pressing his lips together into a straight line. "L-let's just...uhm go." Dina's voice softly appeared since the next song came up, both her and Jesse walked back to the living room, their faces traumatized as if they were kids who noticed their parents have sex. Abby came out of the bathroom and stood infront of them.

"Is everything okay?" She asked while taking a glass and taking a sip.

"N-no, no. Nothing's okay– I mean everything is okay." Jesse mumbled while staring at the floor like an insane person in the asylum.

"Why do you guys look like that then?–" she asked while raising a brow, confused. God replying to her by himself as soon as she says that. The music lowered down by siri with a combination of muffled moans that were now louder and bed-creaking noises. "Oh." She shut her mouth so quick, "well atleast they are together right and having fun?" She tried to comfort their brains that was traumatized in a second.

"Yeah..." both of dina and Jesse replied back.

Requests: open <3

#MARI'S WORKS ꒰͡ ི ༏ ྀ͡꒱ ⭑๋܂#ellie williams x reader #wlw #lesbian #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fluff #dina tlou #jesse tlou #abby tlou #ellie williams headcanons #ellie wiliams x fem reader

236 notes · View notes

hgfictionwriter · 7 months ago

Text

Scattered

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: ADHD can be a lot to navigate, but Jessie embraces you, your ADHD and everything that comes with it.

A/N: Based on this request. This came a little too easily lol. Renews my empathy for my wife LOL. Bless her haha. And bless Jessie cause I bet she'd be just as thoughtful.

You lifted your head as motion in your periphery caught your eye. You took out your earbuds when you saw Jessie giving a quick wave from the doorway.

"Don't forget - we have to leave for dinner in an hour," she reminded you patiently. "I'm not saying you have to get ready now, we just need to be out the door at 5:30."

You looked at the clock and then gave her a nod. "Thank you."

She knew you were hyperfocused on something and if you had to abruptly stop you'd be in a foul mood. You'd learned that it helped when you had a wind-down period, so to speak.

You mapped out the time, making a mental note of when to pack up when you thought better of it and set a timer on your phone instead.

Before you knew it, your alarm went off, pulling you out of your trance. You sighed inwardly - you were on a roll and you didn't want to lose momentum. And it's not like you didn't want to go to dinner - you loved Sinc and Janine, but it still took effort for you to compartmentalize and get a move on.

You emerged from the office and looked around the apartment you shared with Jessie. She was sitting on the couch reading, but was dressed for dinner and you noted she had her things neatly laid out by the front door. She gave you a small smile and a wave.

"How'd it go?"

"Good," you said, somewhat distracted as you were trying to determine what you needed to do and in what order. "Thank you." You stopped yourself and returned her smile, now giving her your attention. "How's your book?"

"It's good, baby," she said with a light laugh before gesturing with a nod. "Go on. Get ready."

Jessie knew you well. She recognized what you were trying to do, but also understood that you needed to get sorted and moving if you were going to stay on schedule. She didn't take offense.

"Thanks," you said with a look that was both grateful and a bit shy. "I'll ask you more about it in the car."

Opening your closet, you already knew what you wanted to wear tonight, but a heavy frown fell across your face as you realized the shirt you had in mind was still in the laundry. You swore it was clean.

You sighed as you examined your other options. You eventually narrowed it down to two, your eyes darting back and forth several times. Would that shirt go with the pants you picked? Where were you going again for dinner? What did Jessie wear? Was it cold out? Jessie was in a t-shirt. But she's always warm. It was warm earlier. But it was going to be night, so... You eventually just tossed the one shirt back, forcing yourself to make a decision.

You checked the time and rushed into the bathroom to finish getting ready. You were doing your hair when your mind wandered and you remembered that you told Jessie earlier that you'd update the grocery list. You mulled it over. What were you doing this week? That would affect the list. You went to check your calendar but when you opened your phone you saw an email notification from this store you wanted to get Jessie a gift from.

You were putting in your shipping information when a brief rush of alarm went through you as you heard Jessie getting up. You looked at the time. Oh shit. Wait - what were you supposed to be doing?

A flurry of activity ensued as you worked to finish getting ready. You had to backtrack a couple of times because you'd just left something laying out in your wake. On a second pass through, you had to make a point of stopping to pick it up and put it away.

Before you and Jess moved in together, your apartment could've been described as organized chaos. Clusters of items here and there, but you knew where things were. For the most part. Jessie, however, was very neat and orderly. And you loved her desperately, so you tried to be very mindful of how you tended to leave mess and clutter. It took a little extra effort on your part, but if it helped Jessie feel more at ease and didn't make her feel like she had to pick up after you, it was absolutely worth it.

You rushed up to Jessie who was casually putting on her shoes at the front door. You were slightly out of breath from your zig-zagging through the apartment and she smiled at you affectionately.

"Right on time," she said with a nod of approval, gesturing to her watch and giving you a wink.

You exhaled. "Chaos."

She laughed and held out your jacket for you, prompting you to weave your arms through.

"Thank you," you said and leaned in to give her a quick kiss.

"Anytime," she said as she grabbed her things. She paused as you started patting your pockets and looking around.

"Phone?" She asked knowingly. You looked to her with a frown of concern and nodded. She rolled her eyes with a soft laugh and reached over to the side table. Your phone was on the corner.

"Oh, there it is," you said brightly with a laugh of your own. She reached around and tucked the phone into your back pocket, giving you a smirk and kissed your cheek as she pulled back.

"Oh, one last thing," you said, holding up your index finger. "I need to write it down before I forget." You quickly grabbed the notebook and fancy pen Jessie bought you previously (stationery was a past fixation of yours) and jotted down something on your to-do list. You clicked the pen and put the notebook aside, turning to her.

"Ready to go?" She asked, a smile still lingering.

You gave her a cheesy 'OK' gesture with your hand and winked. "All set."

"And you call me a dork," she joked.

"You love me."

"I certainly do."

There were many ways you knew Jessie loved you, but the fact that Jessie - who herself was very put together - navigated and embraced your quirks with patience and affection, told you she loved and understood you. Sure, you frustrated her now and then, but chances are those were times you were even more frustrated with yourself. She always talked things out with you or tried her best to make things easier. You adored and appreciated her for it.

She was one of the very few people you let your walls down around. The flurry she'd just witnessed is something most people would never see. At work - and previously in school - your reviews always said you were diligent, organized, and composed. And you were - but it came at a cost. By the time you got home every day, you used up all of your mental faculties to stay on top of things at work or with acquaintances. Home was your reprieve; you could recharge, relax and just be yourself.

As Jessie drove you both downtown, you began flipping through songs. Short, fleeting bursts of music filled the car before cutting to the next piece. While your attention was fixed on the console screen, you felt Jessie's eyes on you. "Which song are you looking for?"

"I'll know it when I hear it," you answered, eyes still transfixed on the changing song titles.

Jessie sighed wearily, but you spied the burgeoning smirk on her lips when you glanced over.

At dinner, your knee bounced incessantly up and down as you listened to Sinc and Janine speak. You hardly realized what you were doing until Jessie reached out a hand and gently placed it on your leg. You held her hand and played with her ring instead.

At one point, Sinc was sharing a story and it sparked a thought far off in your mind. You intermittently sat forward and back, waiting to speak - trying very conscientiously to not cut her off by interjecting. When you got your opening, you literally sat on the edge of your seat and began talking, waving your hands animatedly as you did.

You ended up on a couple of tangents, pausing momentarily with a frown before speaking. "Where was I going with this? Right. You mentioned Vancouver, which made me think of real estate, which led me to appliances. So Jessie and I..."

Jessie just chuckled and idly rubbed small circles on your lower back.

At some point, Jessie herself told an uncharacteristically convoluted story. Janine and Sinc were frowning at her in confusion, but you followed her train of thought easily. You reiterated it for her.

"I'm with you.” You gave her a charming smile. She turned to her teammates with a small, satisfied grin.

"She always gets me."

After dinner, the four of you went to meet up with other teammates at a bar. You hung out for a couple of hours, but between the socialization and a long week of meetings and masking, you felt your social battery drain. You started disassociating as people talked and you were having trouble focusing.

Jessie came by, sitting next to you and leaning in to be heard over the din of the crowd.

"You about ready to leave? I'm just about at my limit," she said. You gave her a grateful look.

"Are you sure? We don’t have to leave on account of me,” you tried to assure her. She grasped your hand, lacing your fingers together.

“Babe. I’m ready to go, too. Another 10 minutes? Then say bye to everyone?” She asked.

You leaned your head on her shoulder. “Thank you. I’m sorry I can’t handle more.” You felt her turn her head towards you.

“Baby. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

You lifted your head up to look at her. You’d had this conversation before but you still got in your head about it all and it was hard to stop.

“I just want to be the best partner for you. But sometimes I just get overwhelmed. And then I can’t function or interact the way I want to. And I probably talked too much at dinner. And about god knows what. I hope I didn’t embarrass you-”

Jessie held up her hands, gently coaxing you to stop.

“Baby. Please.” She smiled affectionately at you. “You’re doing it again,” she said with a soft laugh. “You were great tonight. You always are. I could never be embarrassed by you. I’m always so proud to have you with me.”

She tucked your hair behind your ear and went on. “We’re both at our limit. So, let’s finish up here. Can we cuddle when we get home?" She asked.

"That sounds amazing.”

A/N: Okay, y'all. This next part has nothing to do with Jflem, I just have to share this personal anecdote that just happened. The timing is too perfect considering I was writing this ADHD fic.

*Wife calls me while I'm driving and it sounds like she's crying*

"Are you okay???"

"Are you okay?"

"Huh?" My concern immediately shifts to confusion.

"Do you have everything you need in order to be successful today?" She asks in a very measured way.

Realization hits me immediately. I turn to the passenger seat and instead of seeing my work bag, I only see a pair of shoes. Shoes that I made great mental note of that morning to bring with me to the office. But no sign of my work bag that I packed that morning, alongside the idle musing of, "Wow, it would be so bad if I forgot my laptop."

By now, my wife is cackling. She wasn't crying at all when she called, she was trying her hardest not to laugh.

I'm 25 minutes into a 30 minute drive.

"Can you make it work without your bag somehow?" My wife asks amongst her ongoing laughter.

"It has my laptop. My pass. My wallet. Everything. Guess I'm coming back home!"

We're killing ourselves laughing at this point.

"Okay, well, I'll see you soon. Don't get pulled over!"

ADHD struggles are real, folks lol.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #woso x reader #woso #jflem #woso imagine #canwnt x reader #adhd brain

371 notes · View notes

crumb · 6 months ago

Text

i love how benson is, on the surface, this devil-may-care kind of character, going around shooting people, dragging randy around to fix his life and scaring the hoes in the process—but at the same time there are these little details that show how much he does care. I mean the big obvious one is his motivation for wanting to fix randy, fix randy and help him not turn out like benson and the rest of the people in the small town, we all know this and have gone over these themes. but the smaller details, unintentional or not, those are really nice. Benson being the only one at Burger Burgers Burgers who has his sleeves cuffed and his shirt tucked in. This is one of many details that shows Benson does care, he cares about how he looks and how he's perceived to some extent. because let's be honest, it does set his character apart from the stereotypical 'redneck working at a fast food joint'. Which then gives an added weight to when he walks outside for his cigarette and untucks his shirt. he's releasing himself from this more restrained version he's presented himself as up until that point. Which then ALSO makes Chris saying "Benson, why do you fucking care?" even funnier. because like... Benson basically responds by killing him which in a way is him saying "hey, you're right, why do I fucking care?" lmaoooo Benson is also the only one, other than Randy (and I guess hardy?) who is wearing BBB uniform trousers. Chris is wearing cargo joggers and Jess is wearing a mini skirt with fishnets. If benson really didn't care about that job, or how he looked at that job, would he be wearing 100% of the uniform, well fitted, cuffed, tucked, cleaned, and ironed? And then when changing outfits at his house he puts on a fuzzy yellow/green cardigan and graphic ringer tee, the choices of which feel very intentional and like they're his favorite pieces of clothing. Which I think must be true if you think about him knowing this is his swan song, he wants to go out looking good. But what he doesn't change? His trousers. You'd think after killing three people at a job you probably don't particularly like and dragging their bodies around, changing out of the uniform would be a relief, other than wanting to just get out of clothes that are recognizable to the restaurant. Which makes me think his BBB uniform trousers are the best/most well-fitting trousers he owns which in itself is interesting. I mean look at the clothes he gives randy, they're not that much different in body size so even on benson those jeans would've been oversized as hell. This somewhat cleaned up version of himself that he presents, especially pre-killing spree, juxtaposed to his home life and his car is, I think, a great representation of Benson as a person. His home life, the clutter, his Ma in the front room, the clothes he gives randy, the junk strewn around his car—versus his cleaned and cuffed and tucked uniform and his stylish cardigan and graphic tee (idc what you say i love the cardigan)—I think it shows someone who is struggling but putting on a brave front, trying to come off as put together, as someone who knows himself and doesn't care about other people's perceptions, but at the same time so desperately does care and hates that he cares, and hates that he can't seem to change things. he can only dress them up a little to look presentable to passersby. and maybe it's one of those "the walls are just blue because they're blue!!" type situations and the wardobe dept or kyle or carter or the art director and whoever else, maybe it's just simply style/design decisions by one or several of them and there's no subtextual meaning behind it all—but even if so, I love that, to me at least, it's developed this deeper meaning within the context of the film and the character.

Don't even get me started on the Kurt Cobain cardigan and Benson having a shotgun in his trunk.

#hey i should just shut up #lol #the passenger #the passenger 2023 #im gonna go work on a gifset now hehe

150 notes · View notes

xxsp3llb0undxx · 1 year ago

Text

The Pack Imprint

Fem!Reader x Uley Pack {2.9k}

Requested - Unknown

DO NOT POST MY WORK TO OTHER SITES OR CLAIM AS YOUR OWN. I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OF TWILIGHT.

Summary: Reader is Bella Swan's neighbour, having lived beside the Swan's her whole life. The once close pair, now hate each other all because of the group of shifters that reside in the rainy state of Forks, Washington.

WARNINGS: BELLA SLANDER // SWEARING // NOT PROOF READ

Forks, Washington - February 19th 2005

It had been a month since Bella came back to town, she was the centre of the school gossip, everyone trying to either be her friend or get a date with her. All but one person - Y/n L/n. Bella and Y/n grew up together, they were childhood friends along side Jacob Black. But after her parents divorced and she went to live with her mom, Bella had grown distant with the young girl she once saw as a sister. Two letters a week turned into one a month, which then turned into nothing. Y/n was heartbroken, her best friend had up and left. Jacob tried to be around more often but with school on the res and his dad nagging at him to help around the house, he couldn't fit Y/n into his schedule. Which in turn, made the pair grown apart from each other as well. That was until she came back.

The last month in Forks had been hell. Everywhere Y/n went, whispers about the Swan girl being back was all she heard. Every time she would enter through the school door the chatter about her once best friend would swarm through the halls, Y/n had enough. She was sick and tired of always hearing about her, Bella this and Bella that - it was giving her a headache. Jessica and Angela had gave Y/n's seat at the lunch table away to Bella, that was until she started sitting with the Cullens. It was infuriating, she's been back a month and she's already pining after the only Cullen available, it was pathetic. Bella was like a plague coming to ruin Y/n's life all over again, but she wouldn't allow it to affect her.

When lunch came around, Y/n found an empty table near the back of the cafeteria. Jessica and Angela tried to invite her back to their table but all they were met with was Y/n's middle finger held up in front of their faces, the two girls turned and walked away but not without Jessica muttering a not so quiet 'bitch' under her breath. Y/n had enough of Jessica's shit; the sly things she'd say about everyone, how she would point out peoples insecurities and worst of all - how she victimised herself all the goddamn time. Y/n had got up out of her seat, the screech from the metal legs dragging against the floor grabbed the attention of everyone in the cafeteria. "Hey Jess?" Before the girl could respond, Y/n had grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her back - the scream she let out was loud, almost deafening the Cullens; who were on the other side of the cafeteria. "Don't you ever call me a bitch again, do you hear me? I'm sick and tired of your bullshit. You just never learn to fucking shut up." With that said, Y/n had let go of her and walked out the double doors leading into the parking lot of the school.

The Cullens had watched the whole thing unfold, Bella clinging onto Edward's arm saying she was scared. Emmett had the biggest grin on his face, he was enjoying himself too much, quiet little Y/n had turned out to be a badass and Emmett loved it. Rose had to stop her mate from joining in, a firm grip on his bicep - enough to hurt anyone that wasn't a vampire. Alice, knowing what would happen, had excused herself before the fight broke out. She wanted to see if Y/n was alright, so the pixie like vampire had decided to wait beside Y/n's car, hoping she would show up soon. But she didn't, at least not for awhile. Alice had gotten tired of waiting, she turned to leave when she heard the car door behind her shut with a soft click. Before she could do anything, the car had reversed and turned out the parking lot - heading as far away from the gates of Forks Highschool.

March 5th 2005

It had been at least a week since the whole incident between Y/n and Jessica. No one had seen or heard off Y/n, people had started to spread rumours around saying she was expelled or she had ran away after what she had done but none of it was true, only no one would really know the truth at least not yet. Bella had rang Jacob after it had turned into two weeks of not seeing Y/n, at first the young wolf sounded unfazed, like he didn't care but in truth, it was all an act. He knew about what had happened, he heard it straight from the horses mouth the day it all occurred. Y/n had drove all the way to Jacob's house, he was in the garage when he head the screech of tires pulling up in front of his house. He had poked his head out the garage door to see who it was, not really in the mood for anyone to come rushing into his house when he was busy. The sight of a distraught Y/n had panicked the poor boy, he rushed over to her scanning her body for any signs of injury but he turned up with nothing. Y/n was on the verge of tears, he could hear her heart hammering in her chest. Jacob brought her in to his arms, the warmth radiating off of him helped calm the girl down a little though she was still shaking.

Y/n had brought Jacob up to date with what had happened, he was proud of her for finally standing up to Jessica but he was also upset that it had to get to this point for Y/n to finally step up and confront her about it. Y/n had stayed with Jacob and his dad for the last couple weeks, begging them to not send her back there. A couple weeks had then turned into a month, Jacob had started to ignore everyone and started to hang out with Sam Uley and his little pack of mutts. Y/n wasn't having it, she was sick and tired of waiting for Jacob to come home but he never did, no matter how many times Y/n had asked Billy where Jacob had disappeared to he never told her. She waited for as long as she could until it was too much, she had trekked all the way over to Sam's place; her hands clenched and face red hot with anger. She was going to get her answers one way or another.

When Y/n had made it to Sam's house, Bella just so happened to be there too. Her fiery orange truck parked in the drive. There was a indescribable feeling in the pit of Y/n's stomach, a mixture between anxiety and full blown hatred. She stomped her way over to the group, Sam was telling Bella to leave but she wasn't having any of it, like always. Paul was the first to notice Y/n, her h/l h/c whipping around with the wind. Before he could tell Sam she was here, Bella had shouted at him. "What did you do to him? He didn't want this. He just up and left without telling me anything because he's scared of you." Paul had laughed at Bella, Jacob wasn't scared of anyone and yet she still thought that. Paul was calm until Bella had gone and slapped him across the face, she clutched her hand to her chest, it was surely broken after that hit. Paul had started to shake violently, Sam had pushed Bella back telling her to back away whilst simultaneously trying to get Paul to calm down. Y/n had the dumbest idea ever, we all must admit she's not the smartest. She had slowly started to step towards Paul right as he had shifted.

Bella's screaming could be heard but that didn't bother Y/n, what did though was the huge dark silver furred wolf right in front of her. It's teeth bared, snarling at her. Though, she felt no fear. Her hand slowly reached up and gently lay upon it's muzzle. The wolf huffed, he wasn't entirely trusting the girl in front of him but he also felt no fear towards her. He looked into her e/c and everything stilled. The noise around him had calmed, all he could focus on was her. Paul felt like the centre of the earth had shifted, like he was finally where he was meant to be. Before he knew it, he had shifted back. Y/n's body flush against his own, protecting him from the eyes around them. Soon enough, a blanket had been given to him to cover up until he was able to make it back to the house and put a new set of clothes on. Paul was confused, how was he able to imprint on Y/n when he had already imprinted on Rachel, Jacob's sister?

After the events of earlier today, Bella had told Jacob to never speak to her again and she left, just like that. Jacob was sat on the steps of Sam's porch, he just wanted to be alone but he knew that was impossible. Jacob felt a shift of weight beside him, he turned his head and saw Y/n wrapped up in one of Emily's blankets, she must've given Y/n the blanket to stay warm. Jacob threw his arm over the smaller girl, the warm his body provided her, soothed the chill that made a home in her bones. "You know, Bella doesn't deserve you Jake. You're too good for her." They both sat there in silence for awhile, the soft chime of the trees rustling in the wind settling in to the comfortable silence around them. The door to Sam's house opened, revealing the older male. "Come inside, we're having a pack meeting." The pair looked at each other before Jacob got up and walked inside, leaving Y/n to sit on her own to watch the trees dance around in the soft breeze.

Inside Sam's house, the pack was all sat around in his living room. Embry, Paul, Jared and Quil were sat on the sofa, Leah and Seth took up the two arm chairs while Sam and Jacob were stood; everyone waiting for Sam to start the meeting. "We all witnessed what happened between Paul and Y/n earlier, Paul imprinted for the second time. What we need to figure out is why that happened." All eyes were on Paul, he felt smug about having two imprintee's but it felt wrong, as if he were betraying Rachel. The meeting had gone on for the last hour, the pack had decided to try and see if they would all imprint or if it was only Paul to be lucky enough to have two imprintee's. The pack had left the house, Y/n completely unaware of what was about to happen. Jacob held his hand out to Y/n, pulling her up on her feet and leading her over to the small field where Paul had initially shifted. "I need you to be as calm as possible, okay? We need to see if what happened to Paul earlier will happen to all of us, I promise I will explain it all later." Y/n only nodded her head, giving Jacob the all clear.

The pack had lined up beside each other, Paul was the first to shift. He felt all the feelings from earlier flood back, his heart pounded as he stepped closer to Y/n. She reached out to run her fingers through this fur, earning a soft grunt from the silver wolf. Next was Embry, he was scared to look up at Y/n, he felt sick to his stomach; what if he didn't imprint? Y/n took careful steps to Embry, his fur was gray with black spots; he was slightly smaller than Paul. Y/n crouched down to be eye level with the gray wolf, his eye's locked with hers and it was like his whole body was set alight. Slight tingles coursed through his bones, he felt complete. Embry nuzzled into Y/n, small giggles erupted from the girl, the sound was like wind chimes clashing together. Embry left with Paul to shift back and change back into their clothes. Quil and Jared were next, Quil's wolf had chocolate brown fur while Jared had light brown fur with black markings around his eyes. The pair had imprinted instantly, their tails wagging behind them as they accepted the affection off their imprintee. Seth had imprinted fairly easy, though he was still scared. The sandy brown furred wolf cowered at the attention of his imprint, too overwhelmed by the feelings bubbling inside him. The young wolf left as quickly as possible, wanting to shift back and put this behind him for now.

Leah imprinted soon after Seth, she finally knew what it was like to have someone meant for her. The tingling coursing through her body was welcomed, Leah stayed beside Y/n refusing to leave the girls side. She would not leave her imprint, not now - not ever. Jacob and Sam were the only ones left, they had decided to shift at the same time, afraid of being rejected. Sam was a black furred wolf, he was like a shadow while Jacob was a rusty brown colour, almost like Seth. Sam was the first to look up at Y/n, her e/c stared straight back at him. His heart was pounding in his ears, he didn't feel anything at first. He knew what it was like to imprint and yet, he felt nothing. Sam was about to give up and just walk away, until Y/n sat in front of him and ran her fingers through his fur, an electric shot went straight though him. Images flashed behind his eyes, growing old with her, having a family of their own, loving her till his very last breath. Sam now had two imprintee's, what was he going to tell Emily? The black furred wolf walked off towards the house, his ears pinned against his head.

Jacob still had his head pointed down, his eyes trained on the dirt under his paws. "Jake? Look at me, please." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. Jacob listed his head, his pupils blew as images of them laughing together, cooking dinner together, messing around with the pack flashed before his eyes. It was like his ears were flooded with water, he knew he would do anything, be anything for her. His whole world was centred around Y/n and what their life would be like together. A blanket of warmth wrapped itself around his heart, he felt content knowing his best friend would be his forever.

Once everyone had shifted back and back in their clothes, they had all settled in to the living room. Y/n sat on the sofa, squished between Jacob and Leah, while Seth sat in front of her on the floor; his back pressed against her legs. Paul and Jared were fighting over what to watch, while Quil and Embry made popcorn for everyone. Sam was the only one missing, he was sat in his shared bedroom with Emily. They were arguing, everyone could hear it. "Is it my fault? Them fighting, I mean." Y/n felt guilty, she didn't want to tear apart Sam's relationship, she would gladly show herself out if it wasn't for Jacob and Leah physically holding her in place. Paul was the first to say anything, he had crouched in front of the sofa, his hand linked with hers. "Hey.. it's not your fault doll face, no one could've seen this happening. You are our imprint, you are what matters the most to us, it could never be your fault, okay?" Paul kissed Y/n's knuckles, his lips ever so lightly grazing her skin. She sniffled slightly as she nodded her head. Y/n couldn't have been more happy to have the pack, she finally felt loved and included for once. The rest of the night consisted of watching random movies and eating too much junk, Y/n had passed out on Leah's shoulder after the second movie had started. She was soon followed by the rest of the pack, all spread out in the living room. Seth cuddling into Y/n's leg, Jacob flung half on Y/n while Leah was now hanging off the sofa, Paul laying beside Seth on the floor; his head on Seth's arm. Jared and Embry passed out on the arm chairs, their bodies thrown across them like they were dolls tossed to the side. Quil was the only normal one out the bunch, he was cuddled into a blanket away from everyone else, a pillow under his head as he snored.

Y/n had made a family for life, she would not give this up for anything.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #twilight x reader #the cullen family #quileute #sam uley #jacob black #paul lahote #jared cameron #quil ateara #embry call #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #emily young

759 notes · View notes

joannasprose · 19 days ago

Text

CHAPTER ONE

—⊱✿⊰—

free Palestine, free Sudan—no one is free until we all are free.

hi ! I am so glad to share the first chapter of my little series Bite Your Tongue! :) I really do hope everyone enjoys this read,, and it eases your mind even slightly. enjoy :) 💜

content warnings: this chapter contains mentions of self harm, alcohol usage, drug use, and other mature themes. please do not read it any of topics might trigger you. ICYMI — if you’d like to read it on wattpad, for better formatting, and pretty images, my username is joannasprose 💜🗡️ :)))

—⊱✿⊰—

THE NIGHT THOSE feelings had arrived unwarranted, had been one full of an array of emotions. Questions danced across your mind in complete silence as you sat by yourself in the dark. Wondering, contemplating—anything that might solve the complexity in which your mind holds.

———

ITS A COOLER night than most.

You hadn't been one for it, the unrelenting cold. You run your hands over the exposed skin of your arms, and as you step into the crowded space—almost immediately met with smell of alcohol and artificial air wafting through it; you find yourself regretting the agreement of a night out.

The venue is filled with strangers; some stumbling over their own feet, others stand near the front door—strangers, in which you nearly have push past to get by, and finally, the weird sweaty smell that lingers in the air.

Perhaps it was the alluring feeling of relief, leaving the stress of life tucked beneath bed-covers, and consuming the potions that you knew Dina would concoct. Or maybe it had been her alluring words themselves; that somehow, in some way, had always seemed to persuade you. But the adrenaline, the tiniest bits of excitement that pooled in your mind slowly began to dissipates along with other things—and you find yourself cringing as you nearly bump into everyone around you.

Taking a vacant seat at the bar, in the far corner, you find that your heart is beating as fast as your thoughts. Another senseless night of watching strangers become too drunk to hold themselves up—and another wondering when it would end. And as your foot taps against the floor incessantly, Dina's hand to your shoulder is the only thing that pulls you out of that dissociative state.

"Hey! You made it!" she says, her words spoken loudly over the blaring music, leaning close to your ear, hoping to evade the mix of voices and music that seems to bounce off walls and blend together.

Now, as she takes a seat next to you—turning to her—you meet her eyes, looking over her thick eyelashes.

Dina Woodward always held some kind of edge to her. Whether that was in the way she dressed, the way she held her bluntness between her teeth, or her dark brown hair that fell past her shoulders tonight; all of it was piercing as a snake bite.

Yet she loved the simple things; the movies and books she would often find herself crying to, the vulnerabilities that steadily seemed to resurface. All of it had been put on display amongst the walls of your shared apartment.

"You asked me to come," you say. Dina rolls her eyes before taking a sip from the drink clutched in her hands, and then, "where's Jesse?" You could almost feel the annoyance hanging off her alcohol coated breath. Her frustration was not aimed towards you, but rather, the difficulty of her relationship.

"Wherever he is." She simply says, and this time, she brings the cup to her lips and swallows a mouthful.

You hum in response, settling your hands into your lap and watching as she sets her cup down on the wooden counter. "You want a drink?" She leans in close, nearly shouting in your ear when she does. You shake your head in response, and as she settles back into her seat, she rolls her eyes. "Seriously? I didn't beg you to come so you could stand off in the corner and do nothing."

Shrugging your shoulders, you speak: "Yeah? And if I get shitfaced, who'll drive us home?" You cock a brow, just in time to catch yet another roll of her eyes.

"What? Poor baby can't handle her alcohol?" This time, you're the one to roll eyes when she speaks. You had known Dina since the end of your 8th grade year in middle school—and since then, the two of you had always seemed to stick together like messily placed glitter.

"Shut up," you say, nudging her side playfully.

Suddenly, she perks up. Dina stands from her seat next to now readily getting up to move. "I'll be right back! Gonna do find someone," she says, looking off at whatever's behind you, before directing her attention back to you. "And I'm gonna go get you that drink." Before you could protest, Dina's already left your side, blurring into the sea of people.

You've found that you never enjoyed large gatherings. You never strayed away from them, but you had never indulged in them either. Your eyes skim across the room, watching people packed together as if they were in minimal space converse in undying conversations.

The moment Dina had left out of your sights, and the moment you turned back around towards the wooden counter—that unyielding anxiety had begun to latch on again like a vine infested bush.

You think about spring in your sophomore year of high school; one spent sat on Dina's floor, making shitty posters for her band on canvas using a free trial. That spring, one where it had been so humid, that you could almost find comfort even in its humidity. And you know it's because you'd hadn't met him yet—when he hadn't stuck his dog-teeth into you.

Your foot begins to pick up where it left off, tirelessly bouncing up and down against the floor. That same, grueling anxiety seems as though it begs to take root in your mind.

Terminal was the name of Dina's band. Herself, and two other girls around your age. You'd never met them, far too busy with cognitives of work and your home life to venture and leave. You had yet to see her preform either—not including when she'd play demos and such of what she had been working on.

You've heard them on CDs she would give you, recordings she made, "Why not just use Spotify? Isn't that easier?" You asked her as she shoved her hand in the deep pits of her bag, searching for a few moments before pulling out the thing and giving it to you.

"Because we're broke as shit." She had replied, and as she lingers bitterly in your mind, you begin to shift in your seat, placing your elbow on the table and resting your head on your hand.

Dina didn't quite fit the 'normal' standard for the music she played. And that alone is what you always admired about her. Surely, her witty and snappy demeanor had made up for it.

Five minutes have gone by now. Five long minutes of no sign of Dina, no text message, and indication on when she would be returning. Pulling your phone from your pocket, holding it close to your face to unlock it—you open the messages between the two of you, now typing away on your phone.

YOU: hey, you okay? where are you?

A few minutes pass—one, two, three, four of them before you get a text back.

DINA: shit, yeah sorry. I'm with Jesse, I didn't mean to leave you I swear. We're talking now I guess

YOU: it's fine. I'm gonna head step out for a little bit. If you need me

DINA: are you okay? I can come back and talk with him later

YOU: Dina, It's fine, seriously it's just kinda hot in here

DINA: okay, text me if you need anything okay?

YOU: okay

———

( play Main Theme - soundtrack by Alex G )

Pushing past the mounds of bodies, letting countless of apologies fall from your throat is what annoys you the most. Not the fact that Dina had brought you here, and then promptly left you for Jesse. Irritation, as it had, slips past your barricade, and renders it all useless as you slither through the crowd, stalking towards the sign that read exit, in a bright, red neon.

You don't smoke and yet as you leave the venue, pushing your back harshly against the wall behind you, you found yourself wishing you did. The moon is a sharp blade of silver, keeping the alleyway alight, along with the street light that stands tall at the end of it.

For the first time tonight, you are truly alone. Alone with what haunts you, with your grueling thoughts and what the night has to offer you. Though, that unrecognized ache still curls inside of you.

Maybe you would have still been alone, if the sound of footsteps weren't thudding against the ground, invading your silence.

You quickly lift your head up, eyes pouring over the stranger who approaches you, hands that had once hung at their sides for a brief moment, now pulled promptly to either side of their head.

"Sorry," they pause their stride almost immediately, now only standing a few paces away from you. "Didn't mean to scare you or anything." Now, as you get a good look at the stranger—something about them had seemed so familiar as the moon puts their features on displays.

From a short distance, you almost couldn't tell if her hair was black or merely just a dark brown. Her frame is tall, not much taller than your own, but tall enough to vaguely stand over you. Freckles decorate her face like scattered paint, and her eyes are unreadable, they sit between a light green, and yet a much darker one. A Loose pair of blue jeans hug her waist almost perfectly, and on her shoulders, lays a grey flannel, along with a white tank top that displays only a hint of her collar bone.

It's a new angle for you. To see her fully. It clicks when she lowers her hand, when the shadow across her face now promptly falls and you finally get to see her fully.

Now, it's when you notice the scar that adorns her right eyebrow.

After a long moment, she speaks again, "You're Dina's friend, right?" She asks, moving to lean against the wall along with you, though she leaves a lengthy space between the two of you.

You nod hesitantly before speaking, "Yeah," you say, eyes watching closely as she shoves her hands into pants pockets, and then: "Aren't you the guitarist in her band?"

She scoffs, looking over to you with narrowed brows, "'Her band'," she questions, smiling with her teeth now, "it's Dina's band now?" She measures, amusement strung across her features.

"I mean, well, Terminal." You stumble on your words, though you find that the smile she held a moment prior still resides there, unwavering.

"Yeah. I'm in Dina's band. She asked me to come out here to make sure you were alright." Before you know it, shes pulled a hand from the depths of her pocket, holding it out to you, "Ellie Williams, and you, Dina’s friend?"

You roll your eyes, but nonetheless, you place your hand in hers, feeling as her grip tightens slightly around yours. Shockingly, it isn't harsh. You could practically feel the callouses on her fingertips, yet you find that her touch is still soft. Weirdly comforting.

"Y/N." You breath.

She smiles when you look at her, though this time it feels different from the others. More genuine.

Your eyes travel down to her hand, and slowly, they travel up her arm, only momentarily catching the black ink sunken deep into her skin—as well valley of red hidden underneath the sleeves of her flannel before she briskly pulls away.

"I haven't seen you around before," she mutters, her voice suddenly quieter, digging into her pockets before pulling an out a pack of cigarettes from them, taking one out of the pack while she holding it in her hand as she speaks. "You just moved here?" Ellie pulls a light out of her other pocket, flicking it a few times, and when it finally ignites a flame—she holds it to the bud.

"Yeah. Just moved here a few weeks ago." She hums, pulling the cigarette from her mouth, while then letting tendrils of smoke escape her lips, and with you watching guilty, she speaks, "You smoke?"

For a moment, you think back to the reason you left the venue in the first place. The undying conversations, the smell of alcohol seeping into your nostrils—and that brief annoyance you had willfully felt for Dina when she left. You think about it for a short moment, eyes still on Ellie, you heave a sigh, "A little," you say, which hadn't completely been a lie, yet not the truth either.

Her eyes watch over you for a moment, eyes wavering, she gestures the box towards you, and watches as you take one from the pack.

Slyly keeping the thing tucked between her lips, she lets you settle it between your own lips. Nearing you, again, it takes three tries until the fire ignites. She nears it to the tip of it, waiting, and then pulling away when she's sure it's been lit.

You inhale its smoke, tasting its bitterness, and take it all in, while briefly exhaling. A faint cough escapes your throat.

"What do you do?" She says, which startles you considering you had only just now gotten used to the brief silence. Pulling it from your lips, and looking over to Ellie as she stares at the puddle in front of her speak: "I'm a journalist. I also write books sometimes, working on my first one."

You watch her eyes rise, and you watch as a smile pulls at her lips, willingly, "Well shit," she says, a smile that you strangely find comforting—which is weird, considering you don't know her—curls on her lips. "Dina really does have some interesting friends."

"She doesn't talk about me?" You ask, feeling a sting of pain at the revelation, though Ellie is quick to crumble any of those feelings, "She does, I'm sure. I'm just not around much."

You hum in response tiredly in response before speaking, "What do you do?" You ask, realizing the cigarette had been hanging between your fingertips, the smoke vaguely emitting off of it. You pull it to your lips. "Well, as you know, I'm in Dina's band," you roll your eyes as you let smoke fall from your lips, "I've said that once. And this is my first time speaking to you, are you ever gonna let that go?"

"Nope." She says, quickly, too quickly for comfort.

"Anyway," she follows, "I'm also a tattoo artist."

Your brows perk in interest, eyes skimming over her skin, and in that moment, you watch as she turns away from you.

"Are you gonna show me any of your tattoos? Wanna try to impress me?"

Ellie hums, perhaps contemplating, perhaps alluding you to believe she is before she says, "Maybe another time."

A rebuttal lies on your lips, another strange urge to see the strangers hidden tattoos inked in skin, but you have restraint tucked between your gums. So you don't question her.

"Well..." you say, switching the topic, "I'm writing a piece on the Enchanting Beauty of Art," you say, pulling the almost finished bud to your lips, inhaling the smoke, and then promptly blowing it out.

You put it out on the brick wall, listening to its subtle hiss as you speak, "it's about art. Um, obviously."

Ellie hums, and then, "Is that your title," she questions. Now, you notice that she's already finished hers. The space between her lips are empty, along with her fingers, "You want me to give you some insight, or some shit? I'm not that good." She says, rather plainly.

"You're probably good enough. Better than me."

Ellie pushes herself off the wall. And for a moment, you begin to she's planning to get ready to leave before she pulls her phone from her pocket, opening it and handing it to you. "Text me. Call me, or whatever you want. I'll answer your questions."

Your brows raise when she spoke, looking down to her hand, and back up to her space, you find yourself yet again, stumbling over your words, "I mean. You don't have to, I was joking."

Ellie doesn't drop her hand, only a sly smile sneaks onto her lips again, though, you never even considered if it had left, "Well, if you were joking, then that's seriously fucking embarrassing on my part," she began, still gesturing towards you, "and to soothe said embarrassment, give me yours and I'll give you mine. Text me when you need it."

A smile creeps on your lips, it's undeniable, and you watch as her eyes waft over to the cupids bow of them, watching for a considerably long moment before saying: "Playing the guitar has helped me learn I can keep my hand up for a very long time," she shrugs, "might wanna take it before we spend the entire night out here."

You practically scramble to take her phone from your hands as you pull out yours. "Shit. Sorry."

You hold hers in your hand for moment as you pull out your own, unlocking it and then pressing the phone app and quickly handing it to her.

The both of you type away. She calls her own number, and you feel as the phone buzzes in your hands when she does.

Ellie slips her phone into her pocket when you hand it to her.

"You goin' back inside?" She asks, her eyes narrowing at you. You catch a hint of a sweet southern accent.

"Are you trying to get rid of me that fast?" You quip, and Ellie smiles.

She sighs, "Just wanted to make sure you got back inside safe so Dina's not on my ass again." You laugh, stuffing your phone into your pockets. You hum in response, and she bids you goodbye.

When you near the door, she watches and then turns on her heel. And for a moment, you watch her departure.

You feel the simmer of something bubbling up inside your stomach, something unrelenting as you walk through the double doors. You realize, as you shuffled through your pants pockets, that you've been clutching the abandoned cigarette the entire time.

You hadn't felt the burn. If there were one.

You think of Ellie's subtle, kind words, her restrained yet welcoming demeanor. And as you spot Dina in the crowd, ushering you over—you'd wished you met her earlier on.

———

THE FOLLOWING MORNING

10:37AM

STUFFING YOUR FACE with the hash browns Dina had gotten from the diner just down the street from your apartment, she spoke: "You saw Ellie, right?"

You hum in response, chewing your few, and swallowing it down, "Yeah. She gave me her number too." Dina's eyes narrow in interest. Sitting new to you on her brown two-seater, she slides herself closer to you. "Oh? And what happened after that?"

You squint your eyes at her, already knowing what she's suggesting.

"Jesus. Not like that. We talked, exchanged numbers, and said goodbye. That's it."

Dina rolls her eyes, taking the plate from your hands, and practically clutching it near her chest. "Yeah sure. I give it a few months and you guys'll be together."

Your eyes widen. You nudge her shoulder harshly, and when you do, the hash brown nearly falls to the floor—luckily, though, Dina held it more tightly just in time. "I'm just saying! She usually never..." you watch as Dina tries to finds the words, the laugh track from the show that plays on the tv is the only thing that seems to fill the silence before she speaks.

"She doesn't talk much. I thought she would tell you who she was, and that would be the end of it."

You think back on it now.

Ellie didn't seem to fit Dina's description. At least in your head. Part of finds yourself wondering what that Ellie is like. Though part of you wants to know more the Ellie you'd met last night.

You switch the topic. "What was that last night? Why'd you leave so suddenly?"

You watch as Dina looks over to you, the fork that you had once previously stabbed into the food, now flipping it over. "Jesse had flowers for me, he apologized." You could nearly roll your eyes at her statement, yet you only let out a half-hearted smile.

"Again?" You joke, though not really.

You expect Dina to at least get somewhat irritated with you. You'd assumed anyone would at a comment like that. Though, she only places the paper plate down on the wooden table in front of you both, and throws her arms over your shoulder.

"Yeah, whatever. Keep talking."

You shrug her off her of you, a smile curling on your lips slightly—you focus back onto the screen ahead, thinking back to Ellie's alluring smile, and the moment you do, you find yourself questioning why you're even thinking about her at all.

#the last of us 2 #ellie williams #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #bite your tongue #ellie williams the last of us #ellie x you #ellie x reader #fanfic

60 notes · View notes