#jensens too out of it to try and do anything himself so bryce actually gets to take care of him without his stubbornness

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

yes i am a little obsessed with bryce being 100% dedicated to taking care of jensen when he's sick

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 18

A/N: This chapter got away from me a bit. It’s over 6 thousand words so tuck in guys. I hope you like it. And as I’ve said before, any time a character gets sick in this, it’s nothing more than a flu or common bug. Given this is a Before chapter, COVID didn't exist, but just given the situation currently. I feel like it is important to say that. Just a note on temperature. According to Google 52 degrees F is roughly 11 degrees C. 45 degrees F is roughly 6 degrees C. For my fellow non-USians. Feedback is appreciated as always and much love. -Em

Winter formal was upon us. It was only one day out now. Jeff was still on me about going, like he had been for weeks. I still had no intention of going. And as luck would have it, I had just run into the perfect excuse not to go. I woke up Friday morning to my stomach cramping and churning. Oh god this is awful. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Before I even had time to wake up wake up, I rolled over and grabbed my trashcan. My body shook as I coughed. Sitting up, I flung my legs over the side of my bed. My mom knocked on the door. “Addison? Are you alright honey?”

“Yeah Mom. I’m okay. Just not feeling very well.” She opened the door and peeked inside.

“Let me check your temperature.”

“Can I brush my teeth first?” Mum looked around the room cautiously.

“Of course. I’ll be downstairs. Come down whenever you’re ready.” I nodded and held my stomach.

I went downstairs once my teeth were cleaned and I had rinsed my mouth several times. Mum and dad were in the kitchen. I groaned. The smell of coffee brewing was making me queasy. “I already called the school. You’re staying home today.” Mum said, coming to fawn over me. I waved her off.

“Okay. I’ll call Justin and tell him he needs to get himself to school.” I grabbed a pack of saltines and a Gatorade to take upstairs.

“Feel better.” Dad called after me. I heard him say to mum that it probably wasn’t really that bad. “She should still go to school.” Mum didn’t answer. I changed into a different pair of pyjamas and crawled into bed. My crackers and juice were set neatly on the nightstand by my bed. I grabbed the book I was reading last night. As a last-minute decision, I grabbed my trash can and pulled it closer to the bed.

I called Justin after I got comfortable. “Hello?”

“Morning Justy.”

“Morning Addy.”

“I’m sick.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You’ll need to find your own way to school today.”

“I can do that. Are you sure you’re sick? Or are you just trying to get out of going to Formal?”

“I have crackers and Gatorade. I wasn’t even out of bed yet.”

“Oh.” He exclaimed. “Um. Yeah. You stay in bed. And remember to drink water. And dry toast.”

“I will. Can you grab my homework? And tell Jeff Atkins that I’m sorry I won’t get to enjoy the magic of Winter Formal tomorrow.”

“Sure thing. Feel better.”

“Mhmm. Love you.”

“Love you too.” I rolled over in bed and tried to get a little more sleep. It was a useless venture. I spent half an hour tossing and turning. I couldn’t get comfortable. It was too hot with the blankets on. It was too cold with them off. One leg out didn’t feel much better. My head was starting to hurt. My stomach was doing flips and cramping. Frustrated, I threw the covers off and went to the bathroom. The bottle of Tylenol was shoved in the back of the medicine cabinet. I took two of the foil packets and went back to bed.

Briefly, my mind went there. I had a flash of another kind of foil packet. And a flash of a calendar. My eyes widened slightly before I counted. Then I remembered that we hadn’t not used a condom, ever. I had an IUD. We were protected either way for…. I couldn’t think the word. We also hadn’t had sex in a month. And I had gotten my period between then and now. I sighed in relief. That thought did make me realize I hadn’t texted Monty yet. I took my phone again and saw that he had texted me about fifteen minutes ago.  

Morning Addison. I swiped left and his message opened.

Morning Montgomery.

You’re up late this morning.

I’ve actually been up.

Oh? Everything okay?

Yes and no.

??

I’m kind of sick. But it’s nothing to worry about.

You sure?

Yeah. I’m alright. Just need to eat my crackers, drink my juice, and sleep. On the plus side, I can get out of going to the dance without lying to Jeff Atkins.

I can come by tonight if you want.

I’ll think about it.

Okay. A few minutes later he sent me another text. Why do you call him Jeff Atkins and not just Jeff?

I dunno. He calls me Addison Hawthorne. No one else does it. It’s kind of just a thing we do.

Can I call you by your full name?

No.

Not even occasionally?

No.

Why?

Is your name Jeff Atkins?

No?

Then there is your answer.

Fine, fine. Feel better, okay?

I’ll try.

I’ll text you later baby.

Mmkay. The Tylenol I took was starting to kick in and my eyelids were getting heavy. Before I could drop it, I put my phone on the nightstand. I woke up again around noon. My stomach was feeling a little better, so I sat up and ate a few crackers slowly. The medicine had worn off by now. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my missed notifications for a bit. Nothing too interesting had happened. I sighed heavily and tossed my phone to the side of my bed.

My book was more interesting than I expected it to be, and soon enough I was almost done. The tri-tone buzz of my phone distracted me. I rested the book in my lap and grumbled to myself. “Who’s texting me now?” It was Jeff Atkins.

Hey Addison Hawthore. Justin tells me you’re sick. I hope you aren’t trying to just avoid the dance.

Jeff Atkins. I would NEVER. I am definitely sick. Doesn’t seem like anything major though. Probably be at school Monday. I trust you will give me a very thorough report on all things Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker?

Glad to hear. Leah says feel better by the way. I’ll find you.

Tell her thank you. Now. I don’t want to be rude, but I’m almost done my book.

See you Monday Addison. I didn’t answer him. I texted Monty instead.

Don’t worry about coming over tonight. I should be fine by Sunday. I’ll see you Monday.

Sounds good.

The rest of the day I lounged in bed. My mum came in to check on me when she got home. Saturday was much of the same as Friday. I stayed in bed. I read another book. I slept. My illness was doing better. Not well enough to go to the dance, but I could handle toast which was a good sign. Justin called me while he was getting ready at Bryce’s.

“Hey Justin, what’s up?”

“Getting ready with Bryce and the guys.” I could hear the boys roughhousing in the background and Justin’s voice seemed far away. He must have had me on speaker.

“Hi boys.”

“Hey.” They called back.

“You stuck me with him tonight.”

“I’m sick Bryce. I would not be very much fun or help at the dance tonight.”

“You say you’re sick.” Bryce kidded back. He must be in a good mood.

“Would you like me to describe to you in detail what I spent my day doing yesterday?”

“Not really.”

“Didn’t think so. Now boys.”

“Yeah Addy?” Justin asked.

“I need all of your attention.”

“We’re listening.” Zach laughed.

“Oh no. Is she going to give us the lecture?”

“What lecture?” Anders asked.

“Yes. She is.” I said. “Please try to keep the shenanigans to a minimum.”

“But they’re fun.” Justin complained.

“So is not getting arrested. Do not add to the population. Remember that is often a permanent commitment.  However, I do support the right to choose. Do not fight anyone tonight. And please, for the love of God, if you are going to drink, do not spike the punch bowl. Do not be that guy. And don’t be messy drunk. I want to hear no stories about messy drunk athletes come Monday. And another thing, do not drink and drive. If you need a ride, my mum is perfectly happy to go get you and take you home.”

“She took the fun out of a dance in two minutes.” Someone grumbled.

“That was not me taking the fun out. I’m more than okay with some shenanigans. I encourage some. Please have fun for me. I just don’t want you getting anyone pregnant. You’re all old enough to go to the drugstore or the corner store and buy yourselves some damn condoms. If I can go do it, so can you. As for the drinking and driving thing, a DUI is bad. Especially when you’re underage. My mum likes Justin. So she will gladly give someone a ride if they need.”

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You have condoms?” Bryce asked.

“I’m not the Virgin Mary.”

“Who could you possibly be having sex with?”

“None of your business. And I swear Bryce if you say Justin.” I laughed. I may have said too much.

“You’ll what?”

“She won’t anything. I will.” Justin laughed.

“Oh! One more thing. Don’t screw up Clay’s night.”

“Fine. We won’t. Gotta go, bye.” Bryce said. I could hear him grumbling before Justin hung up. “Wonder how far she’ll go with Jensen, hey Justy?” I rolled my eyes. How can he go from fun and not horrible to a disgusting pig in thirty seconds flat?

By Monday, I was back to feeling like myself. I grabbed a soft cream sweater from my closet and paired it with a floral skirt. A worn in pair of black combat boots and silver studs rounded out the look. I left my hair down to let it air dry without a weird kink in it. Bounding down the stairs, I smiled brightly at my parents. “Morning mum. Morning dad.”

“Morning sweetie.” My mum laughed brightly. My dad looked at me strangely.

“You’re awfully happy this morning.” My smile faltered slightly.

“Well, I’m not physically sick today. I think that warrants being happy. And it’s the last few days before winter break.” There was a voice in the back of my head I tried to ignore. I was happy. I plastered on a smile and grabbed a packet of oatmeal. Silently, I warmed my milk and stirred my breakfast. My parents were going over their schedules for the day. It was just about grade deadline for mum, so she had a stack of tests and papers in her office. Dad was already prepping for tax season in a couple of months. The office at work was stacked too, I’m sure.

“I’m going to take this to school.” I mumbled.

At school, I grabbed my cup of oatmeal to eat before class. “Peaches and cream. Interesting.”

“Jesus.” I gasped. “Morning Monty.”

“Morning Addy.” I began walking to my locker. He fell into step beside me.

“Did you need something?” I was sure people were watching us.

“No. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Okay? You know we are at school, right?”

“Yes. We have chemistry together. Is it really so bad to walk to your locker together?”

“I don’t know Monty.”

“For all anyone knows, I’m looking for Bryce. Who will probably be with Justin. Who will be at your locker.”

“I guess.” I sighed. I handed him my cup of oatmeal. “If you’re going to follow me to my locker, hold this while I get my spoon.” Pulling my bag around me, I took the spoon from the front pocket. Monty handed back my breakfast for me to eat while we walked.

“Peaches and cream oatmeal.” He muttered.

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Just making a mental note.” He smirked. I could see the smile behind his eyes though.

“It was on sale. It was this or plain and plain oatmeal is….”

“Plain.”

“Exactly.”

We made it to my locker, where it just so happened that Justin was waiting for me. With my least favorite white boy in tow. “Hey Justin. Walker.”

“Addy.” Bryce nodded.

“Feeling better?”

“Much. What did I miss Friday?”

“Not a whole lot.” Justin shrugged.

“A better question would be what did we miss?” Bryce asked, looking between Monty and I.

“I was on my way in when I saw her pull in. Figured I’d stop and tell her about what she missed in chem.”

“Which apparently wasn’t much.” I shrugged, scraping the last of my breakfast up. “I need to go to class. I expect a full report on what I missed at the dance at lunch.”

“Jeff will give you one. Don’t worry.” Justin laughed. “You’re awfully invested in Clay and Hannah.”

“I could have been invested in you and Hannah. But….” I looked at Bryce briefly. “Here we are.”

“I don’t think she put out for him, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Monty added.

“Gross.”

“Don’t think he would even know how.” Bryce laughed.

“And I’m leaving. Be nice boys.”

My classes were abuzz with talk of the Winter Formal. Mostly talking about what so and so wore, or who such and such was dancing with, or that one song Tony played that went like this or that. Clearly, I hadn’t missed much. Apparently, Jessica had had one or four too many nips off Bryce’s flask. I rolled my eyes internally. I mean, at least the boys weren’t messy. By the time lunch came, I was excited to hear about anything that wasn’t the dance. I knew, of course, that wouldn’t be the case. But still.

Sliding into my usual seat next to Justin, I placed my head on the table. “What’s eating you?” Scott asked.

“Nothing. I’m just bored of hearing about the dance.”

“It wasn’t that bad. And you haven’t heard Jeff’s retelling of Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker’s dance.”

“I want to hear about that. And then nothing else.” He nodded in understanding.

“Seriously though, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just had a long weekend is all. Guess it knocked more out of me than I thought.” I heard him hum. Jeff laughed jovially as he sat down. How can one man be so damn happy all the time?

“You missed quite the dance on Saturday, Addison.”

“It seems that way. Though, anything would be better than what I spent the weekend doing.”

“Fair. You’re feeling better?”

“Yeah. Just tired now.”

“I bet. Now. About the dance. More specifically, Clay and Hannah at the dance.”

“Yes. And then no more dance talk please.”

“Okay. So, Clay was being a wallflower.”

“As usual.”

“Yes. But he was sitting on the bleachers across the gym from Hannah. And he waved and nodded at her. When I told him to go, he was all ‘I can’t dance’ and so I was like ‘no one can dance. It’s a dance.’”

“Of course. No one likes the ones who can dance.”

“That’s what I said! He was awkward as hell and then they were cute. Danced around like idiots. Had the best time. Leah thought it was fantastic. I was waiting for the slow song that was coming. Or I hoped it was. And then it did. They were awkward again.”

“Right.” I adjusted my position and leaned in to listen to him better.

“Hey gu-.” Justin said, sitting down.

“Shh.” Charlie cut him off. “Jeff is telling a story.”

“They almost kissed.”

“Almost?”

“But then Jess….”

“Ah, this part of the story I know. She was messy. And Hannah cleaned it up.”

“Yes. But that was the dance. Good time.”

“I’m sorry I missed it.” The boys around me spent the rest of lunch having their own conversations. Or giving me their own rundown of the dance. I tuned most of that out. It was hard to pretend not to notice the small glances Monty was sending my way. I sent a few his way too.

Christmas break, finals, and January flew by. Before any of us knew it, it was February. Valentine’s Day was fast approaching. Which, if you didn’t know from looking at the calendar, you certainly knew by the annual Oh My Dollar Valentines posters. There were little heart shaped boxes of chocolate at all the stores in town. The price of roses soared exponentially. I rolled my eyes as I passed one the first day of February. Justin tried to get me to buy one that day.

“No. I’m not interested in paying for cheer camp.”

“You’re always on my ass about school spirit.”

“Yeah. Because like it or not, you and your friends run this school. School spirit is not paying for the wonderful cause of sending the squad to cheer camp.”

“Fine.” He grinned mischievously at me. I watched him reach into his pocket as we passed one of the many tables lining the halls. “Two Dollar Valentines please.” My eyes widened.

“Justin. No.”

“Oh but it’ll be fun.” He laughed.

“I don’t care.” I couldn’t help but smile. He held it out to me, but I shook my head. “No way.”

“Suit yourself. I know you well enough to fill it out for you anyways.” Justin grinned and stuck his tongue out at me. You little shit. I reached out to grab the paper from him. I was going to return it. He held it above his head. I tried to grab it again and he waved his arm around.

“Give it to me.” I laughed.

“Nope. Get taller and maybe I’ll consider it.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Well then I guess you won’t be getting the survey.” I huffed at him. He lowered his arms and I tried to take it again. He pushed my hand away and took off running. “It’ll be an exciting surprise.” Justin yelled as he ran.

“Justin Foley!” I yelled back. I love that boy. But sometimes I just want to…. Oh. What am I going to tell Monty?I sighed and turned around, intending to cut Justin off at his first class and steal the stupid survey from him. When I turned however, I collided with someone.

“We should really stop running into each other like this. People might think we are together or something.” Monty said.

“Or they’ll think you have a thing for me. Since you seem to be the one who always approaches me.”

“That is definitely a possibility.” He handed me my keys. “Might need these later. Wouldn’t want someone finding them and trying to use them.” He started to walk away backwards. I followed after him.

“I highly doubt someone would try to steal an ’09 Camry.”

“Never know.”

“Besides. It’s Evergreen County. Nothing ever happens here.”

“True. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah. I need to have some words with Justin Foley.”

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?”

“Maybe.” I rose a brow. Monty gave me a funny look. “I’ll explain later.”

At lunch I stopped Justin in the hall on the way to the cafeteria. Pulling him into an empty classroom, I locked the door. “I need that survey back Justin.”

“Why?”

“Because I have no interest in going on a valentines date with someone. You know I hate Valentine’s Day.”

“It could be fun.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Well, you have thirteen days to change your mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“I submitted it on the way to second period.” I blinked at him. Did he just say…?

“You what?”

“I submitted it already. You’ll be receiving a list of ‘promising matches’ on Valentine’s Day.” Oh no. Throwing my head back, I sighed very heavily.

“I hate you.” I groaned.

“I love you too Addy.” Justin brushed past me to leave. “I’ll save you a seat?”

“Nope. That’s okay. I need a break from the testosterone today.”

“Okay.” As soon as he was gone, I texted Monty.

Hey. I need to talk to you. Can you meet me in the library?

Yeah. Bring a book?

Please. My locker was on the way, so I grabbed my books for the rest of the day.

There was a table free in the back of the room. I snagged it so Montgomery and I could have some privacy. He found me a little while later. I was pretending to be taking notes. In actuality, I was doodling and trying not to think about his reaction to Justin’s little stunt. Or reactions. “What’s going on?” He asked as he sat down.

“Hi to you too.”

“Sorry. Hi. What’s going on?”

“So don’t freak out.”

“Don’t start with don’t freak out and I won’t freak out.”

“Justin uh,” I paused.

“Justin? What?”

“Justin filled out and submitted a Dollar Valentine for me.” I quickly added, “I didn’t ask him to. He just bought it and did it. I was going to get it back from him at lunch, but he submitted it on his way to second.” I looked up. Monty was staring at me. And he was… what is he doing? And then his lip twitched. He was trying not to laugh. “What?”

“That’s what this is about? That is what was so urgent?”

“Yes?”

“The fact that Justin Foley filled out a Dollar Valentine for you?”

“Yes?” I was extremely confused.

“Addison. I really don’t care if he filled out a stupid survey for you. Are you going to go on the date?”

“Of course not!”

“Then I don’t give a shit.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good.” I was still a little hesitant to say anything. “Oh. I should probably mention. I hate Valentine’s Day.”

“Really?” He frowned in confusion.

“Yes. Is that really so hard to believe?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’re a romantic.”

“I know. Which is why I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s the least romantic holiday. If you want to do something nice for me, or get me flowers, show me that you like me, do it on a random day. Not when you have to because it’s a Hallmark holiday.” I was careful not to say the word love. It may have been five months, which is a long time in high school, but we weren’t there yet.

“So, you’re a romantic who hates Valentine’s Day. Okay. Coffee date though?”

“Sure. But not because of what day it is.”

“No. Of course not.” Monty winked at me and then got up to leave. “Come find me after school.” I nodded.

“I’m going to stay here and make Justin sweat a little.”

The next couple of weeks passed slowly. I had forgiven Justin for filling out a Valentine for me a couple of days after he submitted it. After school on the thirteenth, I ran to Walplex to get ingredients for macarons. I browsed the aisles in search of almond flour and raspberry flavouring. Before I left the lot, I texted Monty. Turns out you’re worth it after all. He was busy with practice. I didn’t expect an answer any time soon.

At home, I unloaded my ingredients and put the carton of egg whites in a bowl of lukewarm water to come to room temperature without overheating them. “Hey Siri. Play State Champs on Spotify.”

“Playing State Champs.” I sang along quietly while I went about making my macarons. I said very kind and loving things to the batter aloud. In my head, I was swearing at them with words that would make a sailor blush. He really is worth it.

Dad came home while I was piping the batter onto the Silpat.

“Hi.”

“Hi. What are you doing?”

“Making macarons for my friends.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.” I shrugged. Dad scoffed and shook his head. “What?”

“Nothing.” He snapped. My face didn’t react. Inside, I felt the familiar sensation of becoming smaller and my insides closing in on themselves. Just ignore him. It’s okay. You’re okay.

“Okay.” I replied meekly. Instead of responding, he went and shut himself in the office. I sighed softly to myself and started on my macaron filling while the cookie batter sat on the tray.

Once my cookies were baked and cooled after dinner, I began to fill them. I picked a Wilton number 18 tip, a small star, and piped chocolate ganache around a raspberry on half of the cookies. When they were all filled, I topped each one. Then I carefully placed them in a container and grabbed several napkins. I also put five each in two disposable aluminum containers. One for Justin. And one for Montgomery. “They won’t notice if one is missing.” I muttered to myself. I took a bite, and it was perfect. Not hollow. Still had a chew to it. The outside was crisp. The slightly bittersweet filling complemented the sweetness of the cookie Perfect. I moaned softly. Setting the containers in the fridge so they didn’t melt overnight, I went upstairs to take a shower and get ready for bed.

The next morning it was Valentine’s Day. As much as I hated the holiday, I wasn’t opposed to dressing up. I dug around my closet for something to wear. I had a red circle skirt in mind. I just needed to find something to wear with it. “Hey Siri, what’s the weather today?”

“It’s currently cloudy and forty-five degrees. The high is expected to be fifty-two degrees and the low will be forty-five degrees.”

“Thank you.” Only fifty-two. I can wear a sweater. I pulled out a couple. The red cable knit was too match-y. The plain black was too plain. My last option was a black sweater with white hearts. This is nice. Shrugging it on, I pulled on a pair of black tights to cover my legs. Topping off the look with my favourite diamond studs and a simple charm bracelet, I checked the clock. I had time to paint my nails.

Soon, I was ready for school. I redid my nails in a nice nude shade. Knowing I was going on a date today, I went quite neutral on the makeup. I wanted my skirt and top to be the focus of my look. My parents were putting their breakfast away when I went downstairs. “Morning guys.”

“Morning sweetie.” We exchanged pleasantries with each other. “You look lovely Addison.”

“Thanks Mum. May not like today, but it’s an excuse to wear this sweater.”

“Very true.” She kissed my cheek gently, so her lipstick didn’t transfer.

“Why are there three containers in the fridge Addison?” Oh crap. Uh….

“Because one is for Justin, one is for my friends to share, and the other one is for me when my friends inevitably leave me with none.”

“I see.” He didn’t sound convinced. Or interested for that matter. When does he ever sound interested? He called after me as I was leaving. “Remember your mother and I are going out tonight for dinner and date night.”

“I know.” I smiled at him. “You kids have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.” I smiled brighter when he dipped my mom and kissed her. Gross but so cute.

“I love you, Margot.”

“I love you too, Brooks.” My mom replied.

My friends were waiting at my locker when I got there. “Hey guys. What’s going on?”

“Justin said you were bringing macarons to school.” Charlie grinned.

“Ah yes. You’re here for snacks. Of course. Hey Clay.”

“Hey Addy.” I shooed the boys away from my locker so I could put my bag in and take out the large container.

“These are for sharing.”

“We know. We can share.” Bryce nodded. Sure, you can. I rolled my eyes playfully. Then I set about passing each of the plethora of boys gathered around my locker a napkin. And then I gave them one macaron each. Jeff got two so he had one to give to Leah.

“Why does he get two?” Luke complained.

“Because he has a girlfriend. And I like her. Do any of you have girlfriends I like?” My eyes shifted to Monty minutely. He smirked softly and quirked a brow quickly. No one seemed to notice. “No? Then you get one for now. You can have more at lunch.” The bell rang. The boys began to disperse to their respective classes. I grabbed Justin and gave him his container.

“You’re the best.” He grinned and kissed my temple when he pulled me in for a hug.

“So are you. Now go get educated.” I texted Monty as I walked to class. I’ll give you yours after school.

I think I like being worth it. This is delicious. Why don’t you make these all the time?

Make them with me sometime. You’ll see.

On my way to lunch, I stopped to pick up my Dollar Valentine. “Hey Sheri.”

“Addison! Oh my gosh. When I heard you filled out a survey, I almost didn’t believe it.”

“Justin did it.”

“Oh. At least he knows you. I hope you get better matches than I did.”

“We’ll see.” I waited while she printed out my list. I glanced at it when she handed it to me.

Andrew B.

Cody K.

Daniel R.

Justin F.

Bryce W.

“Oh. My. God.” I laughed.

“What?”

“I matched with Justin. And Bryce Walker. How the hell?”

“Well, Justin knows you best. And he did the survey for you.” Sheri shrugged.

“Okay fair. But Bryce?”

“I don’t have an answer there.” We both laughed and I left to go to the cafeteria to join my friends. While I walked, I called Justin.

“Hey Addy, what’s up?”

“Hey Valentine. Have you picked up your matches yet?”

“I’m just looking at them now. I was just about to call you to see who you matched with.”

“Well, I think you’re my best match.”

“No one else up to your standards?” I was behind him now.

“Nope.” He turned and hung up. “But I have very important plans tonight, so I’ll need a rain check.”

“No problem. Your annual Bones marathon?” Sure.

“You know it. Next season is the last one.”

“Since I can’t take you out tonight, at least let me escort you to lunch.” He held his arm out to me. I grasped it dramatically.

“Such a gentleman.” We laughed hysterically.

Montgomery loved the macarons. We met at Monet’s after school to get coffee to go because it was crowded. Thankfully no one questioned us if they saw us. They were too wrapped up in their own dates to be concerned about us. Our date was wonderful. There was no chocolate in heart shaped boxes. There weren’t any overpriced roses. Just the two of us spending time together privately. Since my parents were out for the foreseeable future, he came back to my place. We hung out for a bit until he had to leave to avoid my parents. All in all, it was a pretty good Valentine’s Day. He found it hysterical that Justin and I were matched for Dollar Valentines.

Spring had sprung in Evergreen in mid-March. By the time April rolled around, flowers were in full bloom again and it was getting warmer and warmer. On a particularly nice Saturday, I woke up in an unusually good mood. I looked out the window and it was sunny, not a cloud in the sky. As I was sitting in bed, I looked around my room. My camera caught my eye on my bookshelf. Maybe today is the day I introduce Monty to my camera. I got ready but didn’t get dressed. It was still early for a Saturday. And I knew Monty was a big fan of sleep.

After an hour or so of putzing around in my room, I decided to call him. “Morning Addy.” He answered. His voice was still thick with sleep. I smiled.

“Good morning sunshine.” I heard him shifting in bed.

“You’re chipper this morning.”

“It’s nice out. It’s finally spring.”

“It is.” He smiled.

“I was wondering if you had plans today?” I eyed my camera.

“No, I don’t think so. What did you have in mind Bookworm?”

“I thought I could introduce you to my other hobby Casanova.”

He gasped dramatically. “You mean to tell me you like things other than books?”

“Yes.” I laughed. “What do you say?”

“I’m in. When and where?”

“The park by the docks? Say, one o’clock?”

“Sure thing.”

“Wear something comfortable.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye baby.”

My parents were in the office working. It was ten am on a Saturday. But it was getting close to exam time for my mom, so she was busy. Tax season was ending, so dad was busy. I opened my bedroom door and called into the house. “I’m going out later. I don’t know how long I’ll be out.”

“Okay honey. Have fun.”

“That’s nice.” I sighed and closed my door. After a quick shower I got dressed. I knew I would probably be moving around a lot today, so I picked a pair of leggings and a loose black t-shirt from American Eagle. I really should go get one of these in every colour. They’re the best shirts. I threw a random cardigan on my bed. It was later joined by my wallet and camera.

Sitting down to do my hair and makeup, I decided to just do a quick French braid. It kept the hair out of my face. I contemplated my makeup for a while. I still had plenty of time to spare. Pressing play on my Spotify and it picked up on a random Beartooth song. Artist Radios are always interesting. I hummed and tapped along with the music while I dug through my vanity. I didn’t have an excessive amount of makeup. Maybe I had a little too much lipstick, but it’s my favourite type of makeup. I kept everything but my lipstick fairly light and neutral. My skin was actually nice today so I could just use concealer and set it. With the rest of my makeup done, I dug through my slightly embarrassing amount of lipstick. “I’m feeling bold today. Red?” I asked myself in the mirror. “Red.” I nodded. I was ready to go now. I chucked the tube of lipstick in my wallet.

It was close to lunch so I texted Monty. Did you want me to make a couple of sandwiches or something?

Sure. I went downstairs and dug through the cheese drawer.

I have turkey, ham, and some other white meat. Possibly chicken?

Ham is okay.

Cheddar okay?

Yup. I made our sandwiches. I knew how he liked his sandwiches now. Placing them in the fridge, I ran upstairs for my camera, camera bag, and now my purse. Our lunch was set on top of my wallet. I threw an ice pack in to keep everything cold and food safe. A couple of snacks joined in before I grabbed my keys.

“I’m leaving now. I’ll see you later.” I called.

“Okay.” My parents called together.

At the park, I met Monty over by a tree. He was wearing jeans and a plain white t-shirt. No flannel. That took me by surprise. He looked damn good though. I stopped on the way over for a couple of coffees from Starbucks. “Hey Casanova.”

“Hey Bookworm.”

“Lunch now or later?”

“Now is good. I could eat.” I rolled my eyes. “What?”

“You’re always hungry.”

“I’m a growing boy.” He defended.

“If you grow anymore, you’ll give Dempsey a run for his money.”

“Never know. They say boys grow again around nineteen.”

“Oh god. I don’t know if I could handle you getting taller.” He laughed.

“Might have to. Never know.” I looked down to hide my blush. I didn’t read into what he said. He was right. You never knew where you could end up. We talked quietly while we ate. Monty regaled me with stories of the baseball game I “missed” yesterday.

“Sounds like a nail biter.” I smiled.

“You don’t like baseball, do you?”

“No.” I replied quickly.

“That mean you’ll never come to a game?”

“Quite possibly. I will go to as many football games as I can though.”

“Deal. Now. What did you want to show me?”

“This.” I said as a pulled my camera out of the bag.

“Oh?”

“Yes. I told you I like photography.”

“I remember. I’m just surprised it took you this long to show it to me.”

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“Okay. I won’t question you.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not Tyler. I keep my photography to when people know about it and can see it.”

“I kind of figured.” I spent some time showing him my camera. It was the first thing I had spent any big amount of money on. I got it a few years ago. I saved up birthday and Christmas money. I never really got an allowance so that’s what I had to work with. I looked out at the water and stood up. Holding my hand out to my boyfriend, I nodded in the direction of the dock.

“Come on.” Montgomery took my hand and we walked to the railing. I examined the water for a few moments quietly. Then I lifted my camera and started shooting. It was beautiful. “It’s nicer at sunset. But daytime shoots are so fun.” I could feel him watching me. A bird was flying close by, so I snapped a picture. “It’s beautiful.” I said softly.

“Very beautiful.”

We wandered around the park together for a few hours. Occasionally we would stop to sit and just people watch. During one of these stops I noticed Monty had turned to look out over the water. The way the light was hitting his face was perfect. I quickly snapped a photo. I wanted to preserve the peaceful look on his face forever. Lord knows the boy could use some peace. He turned to me when he heard the click of the camera. Luckily it didn’t ruin the shot. He was smiling. I couldn’t help myself. I took a quick scan of the area and kissed him. When we pulled away, he quickly wiped the lipstick off. I laughed and dug around in my purse for a makeup wipe. “Here. Use this.”

“Thanks.” I touched up my lipstick. While I was doing that, he took my camera from my lap and snapped a photo of his own. “I’m not very good at this, so don’t be shocked if it comes out crappy.”

“I’m sure it’s great. Here, let me see.” He handed it back. I scrolled to the photo. It was really nice. “This is great Monty.” He nodded but didn’t say anything. Instead, he threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me in close to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. Turning the camera around, I snapped a picture of the two of us. It wasn’t exactly a candid, but it was as close as you could get with a selfie. We called it a night around six o’clock. He had to get home for dinner. I had some homework to do. I also wanted to get our photos transferred as soon as possible.

I walked into the house smiling to myself. Today had been a really great day. I felt good. “What the hell is all over your face?” My dad asked. Not a hello. No other acknowledgement.

“What do you mean?” I reached up to touch my face. Is there something on my face?

“You really caked it on today, didn’t you?” Oh. My makeup. I’d forgotten that he didn’t see me before I left.

“I put on a little makeup. I’m trying to use up a red lipstick.” I shrugged. The small feeling had begun to grow again.

“It makes you look like a prostitute.” Wow. That escalated quickly. My good mood vanished. I set my face. I wouldn’t let him see that he had hurt me.

“Thanks Dad. That was my goal today actually.”

“Don’t take that kind of tone with me, young lady.”

“Okay, whatever. Where’s Mum?”

“At the grocery store.”

“Okay. I’ll be upstairs.”

“Take off the paint while you’re up there.” He called after me.

When I reached my room, I closed the door and slid down it. Not wanting him to know I was crying I went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel. I curled up on my bed and sobbed into the towel. I didn’t care that there would be makeup stains on it. My phone buzzed on the floor. Sitting up, I stood to grab it. It was Monty. I want to see those photos baby.

Okay. I’ll send them over when I’m done.

Looking forward to it.

Yeah.

If I forgot to say, you looked pretty today.

Thanks. I wasn’t sure I believed him after what my dad said.

Any other mystery hobbies you want to show me?

Don’t think so.

Not even the art of knitting?

Maybe.

You okay Addy?

Yeah. Just tired.

Okay. I’ll talk to you later then.

Sure. I didn’t answer his next text. It was too much effort to do it now. I just wanted to lay in bed and be sad.

[reducttiddi3es]

Polar Opposites  Clay Jensen x Reader

summary: dollar valentine. clay with tom- boy(i don’t really like this word but could not find any other word) reader.

This is probably completely stupid. But I wrote it anyway. Requests are open for 13rw characters, feel free to hit me up. Enjoy x

Masterlist

"Oh, god! Do we really have to do this?" Y/n whined. "Yes!" snapped Jessica. Jess was determined to find her best friend a boyfriend and would not give up until she found her a date for Valentine's day.

And the school had come up with the most * convenient* option- Dollar Valentine. It was a survey that matched people and set them up based on a few questions. Y/n was not at all interested but, Jess would not let her be dateless on Valentine's day.

Y/n was one of those girls that, well, would not act like a girl. She rode a motorbike and was a trained boxer. She was that girl you wouldn't wanna mess with. Because well, she could KICK ASS!

When she first joined liberty, Bryce and his gang had tried to make a move on her and targeted her to a lot of catcalling. She tried to keep her calm so that she wouldn't get kicked out of school. But they just would not give up. Marcus smacked her ass one day and well he would have probably wished he was never born. She punched him straight in the face and broke his nose. Bryce pulled her away and pushed her against the locker but she used and her knee wisely against his crotch and that was the end of them. They just stayed away from her after that.

//

The survey results were out and Jess came running to her friend as soon as the bell rang. She got out the sheet that she got from Sheri and held it out to Y/n. Y/n rolled her eyes at her and snatched to sheet and opened it up and read the first name. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "What..?? Who is it? Is it bad or good? Oh come on" Jess was impatient to know whose name caused her friend to be so shocked. Y/n put the sheet in front of Jess's face. As soon as she saw what her friend was referring to and burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. That was a name that both of them would NOT have expected. NEVER.

CLAY JENSEN. Like what?? Obviously, a program wouldn't give them their soulmate but they expected it to be at least 1 percent right but this was ridiculous.

//

Clay opened up his sheet in the presence of his trusted friend Jeff. Clay had done this only because Jeff thought that Clay NEEDED to get laid. As soon as he saw the name on top Clay was shocked beyond words and so was Jeff. As much as Y/n was one of the most beautiful girls they had ever seen they both knew that this had gone wrong. Clay was a nerd, even though he disagreed, he was. He was someone that kept to himself and stayed away from most nonsense while Y/n sometimes was the cause of nonsense. This was a mess. He knew he should have never listened to Jeff. But somewhere down there he knew he was attracted to her.

//

Jess had forced Y/n to go talk to Clay. She literally shoved her onto Clay. "Hey Clay" Y/n smiled confidently. But that made Clay more afraid than he already was. " Uh... hi". " See I get it if you don't wanna do this. I get how stupid this is". " No...no", he said.

Y/n looked at him curiously. " I- I would like to go to... I don't know.. anywhere. Where ever you want... Like only if you want to. I mean I'm not forcing. Like I could ever.." Clay blabbered. She just laughed at him" Cut it out, Clay. I'll go with you. 7 pm Rosie's. I'll pick you up. I don't want you coming on that stupid bike of yours", she said and walked away. Clay just looked at her. How could a walk seem so confident?

//

Y/n picked out a little black dress with a skull on it to wear and showed it to Jess, who just shook her head disappointed. " We are trying to impress Clay and not make him want to run away for his life," she said and started to pull out all the clothes from the closet. She couldn't find a single thing wearable for a date. She reached out to her bag and pulled out a beautiful light blue dress and shoved it to Y/n's hands. Y/n gave her a 'are you serious' smirk but looking at her friend she realized that she was very much serious. She tried it on, she didn't really like it but she actually looked very pretty.

They went downstairs. Y/n's mom was surprised when she saw her daughter in a dress like that. But kept her mouth shut knowing a wrong word and the dress would go off and those scary clothes will come back on.

//

Clay waited for Y/n in the living room of his house. His mom came up to him and told him she was glad that he was finally going out. They heard a honk outside their house and Clay got up to leave. He quickly made his way outside. He saw Jessica's car and walked up to it and saw Y/n looking as gorgeous as ever. He sat in the passenger seat. " You, uh, look beautiful", he said. She smiled at him," Thanks, let's go."

//

Rosie's was filled with many people. Mostly teen couples. Most of them making out, while others were drowned in each other's eyes. Soft romantic music was playing. But to counter the beautiful romantic atmosphere, there was loud laughter coming from one particular table in the corner. Clay and Y/n were laughing like they'd known each other forever. Who would have thought that just the day before they did not even want to be here.

Honestly, they were afraid that they would not have anything to talk about but... " Jess forced me into this but I can't say I'm not enjoying it"

" Same Jeff did this but I'm glad he did. But frankly, I was afraid of you"

"Oh come on, I would not eat you"

" Well, considering what you do every evening I wouldn't be surprised if you did", he chuckled.

" Heyy!! Not nice Clay. I love boxing. It's like the only thing I'm good at"

" Sorry but why boxing, couldn't you try something more feminine"

" Now don't take that topic Clay or I'll probably actually devour you," she said playfully hitting his arm.

" Okay sorry, chill" he was laughing aloud. Y/n giggled.

//

" Okay so I was actually right about you being a nerd"

Clay gave her a 'what the hell" look and continued" So that is supposed to be the Camelopardalis or the giraffe", he said pointing at the constellation. Y/n was quite impressed with his knowledge and smiled.

//

Y/n walked Clay up to his door. " We should do this again", Clay said.

" Yeah, definitely"

Clay was suddenly filled with a little bit of confidence, he leaned forward and to his surprise, Y/n met him halfway and their lips were attached. He kissed her and held her waist so that she could come a little closer. She put her hands around his neck and they kissed for quite some time until he pulled away gasping for breath. Clay felt wonderful. Y/n smiled at him. " See ya", she said before walking off to her car and she winked at him and drove away into the darkness. Talk about surprises, he couldn't believe he was so attracted to a girl that just a day ago he would just stay away from. a girl he was afraid of.

As for Y/n, she still could not see why she liked someone like Clay. Even Polar Opposites seemed too small a word. But in a way, they completed each other, she was the strength he needed, he was the calm she needed.What can I say opposites attract.

MASTERLIST

[jjmaebank]

Justin Foley - Did You Kill Him?

A/N: I know I've been sooo inactive and basically haven't written in over a year but the trailer for the new season of 13rw got me rewatching the series and I just feel like writing for them again idk lol, but I should most definitely be getting on w my college applications rn oops

Your boyfriend Justin has been avoiding you for the last 2 weeks and is clearly keeping a secret, little do you know it's got to do with the murder of Bryce Walker...

-

Your boyfriend Justin had been acting off all of this week and last, he'd been avoiding your calls and kept interaction at a minimum at school. You were beginning to think maybe he'd started using again after staying clean for so long. But if that was it, why would he be avoiding you? He still seemed normal with Clay and people, I mean as normal as he could with the Jensens adopting him and all.

Eventually you decided enough was enough. You were practically getting the silent treatment from your own boyfriend, or at least that's what it felt like, and you deserved to know what was going on in his life or at least a reason for why he was shutting you out.

You couldn't imagine that Justin would be anywhere other than the Jensens house on a Thursday evening so you hopped in your car and drove down the familiar route. You arrived at the Jensen household but didn't see Clay's car parked outside. Nevertheless, you proceeded to knock on the front door and hope the two troubled teenagers were home.

"Hey (Y/N), is everything okay? Justin didn't tell us you'd be coming over," Mr Jensen said in his typical friendly and welcoming manner.

"Oh, yeah everything's fine Mr Jensen, sorry to show up so unannounced but is Justin here? I really need to talk to him," you asked.

"No, he isn't actually. Him and Clay left a while ago, said they were working on some group project at Tony's house?" Mr Jensen responded, just as gullible as ever to his sons' cleverly crafted lies.

"Oh right...sorry to bother you then, could you maybe just tell him I stopped by and to call me?" You sulked.

"Why don't you just wait here with Lainie and I? The boys should be back soon, it's a school night and we'd love the company," Mr Jensen smiled.

"I wouldn't want to intrude..." You replied.

"Not at all, come on in," Mr Jensen gestured for you to walk in and shut the door behind you.

-

About half an hour later you heard the front door open and close, followed by an exchange of angry whispering.

"Clay? Justin?" Lainie yelled from the living room.

"Yeah Mom?" You heard Clay reply from the other side of the wall.

"Could you come in here please?" His mom responded, "Justin too."

You then saw the two boys walk through the door into the living room, both of them taken aback  when seeing you sat on the couch with their parents.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?" Justin asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"I need to talk to you Justin," you responded, standing up from your spot on the couch.

"At 9 pm on a Thursday night?" He raised his eyebrow, "why didn't you just call me?"

"Well I would've but you don't really answer my calls anymore," you replied, raising your voice a little. How can he act as if nothing's up?

"We'll just leave you to it..." Mr Jensen said rather awkwardly, switching off the TV, "just let us know you get home safe (Y/N) alright?"

"Yeah sure thing Mr Jensen," you responded as him and Lainie went upstairs.

"What did you need to talk about?" Justin asked.

You looked over at Clay who was still in the room, his nosey nature clearly keeping him from giving you and your boyfriend privacy and shot him a look signalling you wanted to be alone.

"Oh right it's like boyfriend girlfriend stuff..." Clay nodded, clicking his tongue awkwardly before turning on his heels and leaving too.

"What's wrong babe?" Justin asked.

"Don't call me babe, Justin, I could ask you the same thing!" You exclaimed, your anger starting to show itself now that it was just you and him.

"What do you mean?"

He was still playing the oblivious card, which was only fuelling your anger more.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You avoid all my calls, hardly speak to me at school or text me for that matter, it's like you don't want to talk to me...so what the fuck is up with you not me?"

Justin began to tap his foot, a sign you knew too well of him trying to come up with a bullshit excuse, "I've just been really busy, that's all. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't want to talk to you though."

"Cut the crap Justin, you're clearly not too busy for Clay and Tony, and even Jessica!"

"What are you trying to say?" Justin replied, starting to get angry.

"I don't fucking know Justin! All I know is you're acting normal with almost everyone but me, and I want to know why! What's going on that I don't know about?"

At this point, your anger was clashing with his, this had always been an issue in your relationship, you were both hot tempered and stubborn.

"Nothing! For fucks sake (Y/N), nothing okay! Besides...even if there was something you'd probably be better off not knowing..." he mumbled the last part, but just clear enough for you to comprehend.

"So there is something?" You continued to grill him.

"Wha-no!" Justin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Stop fucking lying to me Justin! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of being your girlfriend but not actually feeling like it!" You yelled.

"Then maybe you shouldn't..." he whispered.

"Shouldn't what..." You responded in an equally hushed tone, hoping he wasn't insinuating what you thought he was.

"Be my girlfriend," he whispered, looking down at his shoes.

"Can't even look me in the eyes when breaking up with me huh?" You replied, tears welling up in your eyes.

"(Y/N)...." Justin began but you cut him off.

"Just save it okay? Clearly whatever it is you're hiding is worth more than our entire relationship to you," you said, wiping the tears from your eyes and making your way to the front door.

"(Y/N)...I want to tell you...but I don't want you to leave me..." Justin said, his voice pained and his eyes starting to tear up.

"Nothing you say can change the way that I feel about you, don't you get that?" You responded, a last bit of hope resurfacing that maybe your boyfriend will let you back into his life and it wouldn't have to end, at least not in this way.

"This would...(Y/N), please you don't understand!" Justin said, tears rolling down his cheeks at this point.

"Then help me understand!" You exclaimed.

"I-I can't," Justin said, his voice cracking.

"I see..." you responded looking him in the eyes, "bye Justin."

With that you turned around and walked out the house.

"Wait! (Y/N)! Please, just trust me that you're better off not knowing this!" Justin pleaded, following you down the front steps and to your car.

"I don't hide anything from you Justin, I thought we were past that...and clearly my love for you isn't enough to prove to you that nothing you say or do will change how I feel...because you still keep me in the dark and make me feel like you don't trust me!" You exclaimed, getting in your car.

"It's not like that! It's not that I don't trust you! I can't explain it I just don't want you to think I'm a monster!" Justin cried.

"I could never think that Justin, I can't keep telling you this, so I'm not sure whether it's your insecurity of me not loving you enough or you just not trusting me...but either one is damaging our relationship right now, and I can't keep doing this." You replied, tears spilling down your cheeks as you slammed your car door shut and drove off, leaving your boyfriend stood outside his house, cursing himself for what he's done.

A/N: probably gonna make a part two for this where (Y/N) finds out what Justin's been keeping and that he was just trying to protect her from the truth.

[i-just-came-to-reblog]

The f*cked up reasons (13reasonswhy)

This post might be a little long, feel free to read, or not. This is just my opinion and for the record, I KNOW THE ACTORS ARE NOT THEIR CHARACTERS AND SO SHOULD YOU.

This post may contain spoilers if you haven't watched the show

I'm not gonna lie, after the last episode of season 2, I was insecure about watching any further, the scene where Tyler got raped was way too much for me, I thought I was gonna pass out from the shock, I can't begin to express how those 4 minutes or so made me feel, I'm not a guy, don't know how rape is for them, and I know it may be different for every person, but I've been sexually assaulted and it is a huge trauma, it is something you can't escape and just like Tyler said, for me, when you start to recover, the moment you stop being distracted by something, you remember, I was afraid all the time thinking they were going to show flashbacks and I was not ready for it.

But I must say I liked the way they portrayed Tyler's recovery, how his friends were there for him, at first trying to make sure he wouldn't do anything, but then because they actually cared and they helped him to get out of the black hole he was in.

That said, this post is about redemption and justice. I'm not comparing Tyler's situation with Bryce's or Montgomery's, because there is no point of comparison, Tyler was a victim and Monty was the rapist.

First, Bryce:

I get why the writers might have thought giving Bryce a more sentimental side was a good idea, because just like they did with Hannah, it helps to round up the person, THE HUMAN BEING, but when you've been in a situation like hers, Jessica's, Chloe's or the seven or eight more girls he admitted he raped, it's hard to see the other side, the human side, for you, they will always be monsters, they destroy and most important, they do not deserve a second chance; he got plenty, at least 9 times he could have try to stop and change, but he had to see the consequences of his actions, driving Hannah to kill herself and Jessica to finally report him, and just when he saw his life fall apart, he tried, but someone killed him.

He didn't have an easy life (but still easier than most of the Liberty High's kids) he had an absent father and a cold mother, but what he did was not and is not excused because of that, it might have been a part, but not all of it. He did that because just like Hannah's mother said, he felt entitled, he didn't care what the person he was raping was feeling, he just took what he wanted.

Now, Monty :

"he could've been saved, just like Justin", "he was a Justin that didn't get help", "he was changing with Winston", "he did that because his father was abusive and homophobic", "if you are against him you are homohobic" <----- WHAT?!

I'm sorry, just like with Bryce, THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR WHAT HE DID, I've been reading a lot of posts defending him just because now we've learned he was into guys.

Yes, he had an abusive father, and probably a mother that didn't do much to help him, but the people comparing him with Justin (who BTW I'm not saying is an angel) should see that much of Justin's recovery had to do with himself, not just the Jensens or Jessica, he showed something that we never saw in Monty: REGRET, Monty never admitted he had raped Tyler and never showed signs that he felt bad about it, for him it was just a game which is even worse, because in his mind, hurting someone that way was not a big deal and could've been proof that he was willing to do it again.

Monty showed feelings for Winston, that doesn't mean he was changing the person he was, he felt attracted to him and we saw that in 2 EPISODES, and just bits, that it's not proof enough to say he was a good person, he did a lot of things, not just rape, and he never felt guilty about them.

And then, someone killed him (or so they said)

Now. Justice.

Both Bryce and Monty deserved to pay for what they did, they did not deserve to die. JUSTICE, NOT VENGEANCE.

Bryce didn't deserve to die, he was a troubled guy who did a lot of bad things and destroyed lives, he was trying to change, he reached out for help and when someone killed him, they took that from him. HE DESERVED TO GO TO JAIL, TO PROOF HE WAS WORTH SOMETHING, THAT HE COULD CHANGE AND DO BETTER. He knew nothing would change what he did, but he could've proven he was not going to hurt anyone else.

And Monty, he didn't deserve to die either, HE DESERVED TO GO TO JAIL TOO FOR WHAT HE DID TO TYLER, YES, BUT HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE FRAMED FOR MURDER, it's all about what he did and didn't do, and what he didn't do, was kill Bryce, of course he had to pay for raping Tyler, but also, since we saw he was a troubled, very troubled guy too, get the help he needed to, at least try to get rid of the bad feelings and thoughts and urges to hurt other people. But framing him was something awful, he was a rapist, but not a murderer, and the person who killed Bryce, also has to pay for it.

Just Justice.

I don't know if anyone is gonna read this, but just so you know, I'm not trying to pick a fight with anyone, just wanted to give my opinion, and get this thoughts out.

Now I can rest...

[that--one--slow--song-blog]

13 Reasons Why: My Opinions on Each Character

Spoilers!!!! 

Hannah Baker

Deserved better

Wasn’t perfect

She tried her best but there was an obvious underlying sadness in her

Her and Zach would’ve been cute in my opinion

She was at times problematic herself 

Should still be alive

Clay Jensen

Makes everything about him

Releasing the tapes even though personal stuff like Hannah and Jessica’s assaults were on there.. like I understand he wanted to stop Bryce but he didn’t think that one through

Blames girls for what happened in the clubhouse

He tries so hard to fix everything which is nice but sometimes it seems to be for selfish reasons

Thinks he deserved Hannah?? Which is gross?

Thinks Hannah is bad because she had other relationships?

Is awful to his mum even though she’s problematic too

Treats everyone like shit

The gun scene at Bryce’s was sad 

The whole Skye thing was weird

I understand he feels like he never really hurt Hannah but he constantly holds stuff over everyone 

Personally don’t really like him but I wish I did cause like he deserves to be happy and I feel bad that Hannah will always be with him and he will most likely need to get real help for this.

Jessica Davis

Deserves the world!!!!!!

She is so strong 

Tries her best to do right for Hannah

Still loves Justin which is problematic but I kinda get it

Her storyline deserved more screentime

I’m proud of her for trying to help Chloe

Olivia Baker

Deserved better from Andy

That dress scene fucked me up

She tried so hard to get justice

I feel so much for her

Kate Walsh killed it

Zach Dempsey

FAVOURITE CHARACTER

Best character development 

Was so sweet to Hannah

He’s an idiot though who can’t speak for himself until the very end

Needed to ditch Bryce and Monty sooner

Him and Alex are amazing

He’s strong and brave and I honestly just really love him

Justin Foley

Poor baby deserves better now that he is trying to be better

But what he did to Jess is horrible and they really shouldn’t end up together

Needs to get actual help for the drugs

Of course the poor kid gets more time than the rich kid who did the actual crime

I see bad things with his mum’s boyfriend in the future

WHEN CLAY’S FAMILY ADOPTED HIM OMFGGGG

He will always love Jessica

Funny af in my opinion

Alex Standall

Ngl I find him a little annoying 

But I love him and Zach

Happy he lived

Wish they explained what happened more

He needs to chill 

Loves Jessica

Tony Padilla

I constantly think of Smosh whenever he’s on screen

Love his friendship with Olivia

Needs to stop helping Clay with his dumbass ideas

I think he did what was right cause it’s what Hannah wanted

Tyler Down

Honestly he scares me but he deserves help

I think the actor did amazing 

That scene in 2x13 is so fucked up but I actually recognized it from a news story so yeah like that actually happened...

I do think the timing of his storyline is off but school shootings are constantly happening cause the government doesn’t care about anyone. So why not tell the story on tv when it’s constantly happening to people 

I really was hoping the ending wouldn’t happen but Tyler was too far gone 

Sherri Holland 

Did so amazing this season

She really turned her life around

Her helping everyone was nice and I really like her tbh

She should’ve been in more scenes 

She needs to slap Clay

Bryce Walker

Actual psychopath

The way he spoke to his mum was fucking creepy as shit 

He has assaulted like 4 girls that we know of and he got 3 MONTHS PROBATION

Like are you fucked

He manipulates everyones

Ew the scene where he got hard thinking about the assaults was FUCKED

God he’s so gross 

But I have to say the actor did so good cause I wanted to vomit everytime he was on screen

Mr Porter

Redeemed himself in my opinion

His trial scene was sad af I cried

He thought he did what was right

But he realizes he should’ve done more

He should’ve punched that jackass principle

Courtney Crimsen

Kinda sad she wasn’t around a lot 

So proud of her for coming out 

Love her dads

She did good

Ryan Shaver 

He didn’t do anything that bad to me to begin with 

He’s overall just there 

He’s on the good side 

He’s funny to me 

Marcus Cole

HYPOCRITE

Boring af 

Happy he called out Bryce even though it was to save himself

He’s gross too

Skye Miller

Needed help

Glad she got it

Better without Clay

She looks so much like Kevin Bacon (the actresses dad) and it was distracting

Scott Reed

Needs to remove himself from Bryce and Monty

Could be a good guy

Should’ve gotten more of a story

Chloe

I feel bad for her

Wish she would’ve told the truth but she’s scared

I knew she was gonna get pregnant

I think she might abort and that will be a big storyline

I hope she kills Bryce

Montgomery de la Cruz

Just as bad as Bryce

Gross dumbass

Monster

Literally so mad I was hoping he would side with Scott and Zach

I’m gonna do more after but yeah I have dumbass opinions but whatever lol

[team-free-winchester]

Back to you~ Justin Foley

Summary: After what Justin did to Jess you helped Clay and Sheri for the sake of Jess so Tony didn't have to. You thought after it all he would love you but you can't unsee what happened in the locker room.

Pairing: Justin x reader

Warning: Talk of cheating

AN: If you guys haven't noticed this series will be updated every Sunday.

//

Every single word builds up to this moment

And I gotta convince myself I don't want it

Even though I do

Waking up that morning you expected it to be just like any other morning, you get up, get ready for school, leave but apparently not today. I was staring at my phone as I left the house checking all my messages when I seen I had a missed call and a text from Tony

I need a favor, call me

The moment I seen the message I dialled his number hoping it was not majorly wrong with my friend, he answered on the second ring.

“Tony, what’s going on?”

“We found a way to put Bryce away and help Jess,” he says confusing me.

“How Jess doesn’t want to testify?”

“No but Justin can which brings me to that favor I needed,” he says pausing for a moment, “We found Justin, but he's involved with drugs. Clay and Sheri are taking turns watching them but neither one can today,” he continues trailing off.

“And you so you wanted me to?” you ask sighing.

“If I had another choice I would but I can’t violate probation and being around drug addicts could do it.”

Fine when and where do I have to go?” I ask already regretting my decision.

“Thank you, I’ll text you the address,” he says before he hung up.

Looking down I see an address and directions to climb in through a window on the side of the house so no one sees me, so I head to my car driving to Clay’s house. Climbing through the window I scare Clay and Justin slightly though once Clay calms down he looks at me and asks, “What’re you doing here y/n?”

“Tony sent me he can’t come you should know why.”

Clay nods replying, “Foods downstairs, clean any messes made, don’t leave the house and don’t get seen by anyone.”

I nod feeling like i’m babysitting a child, once the door closes and Clay walks downstairs I turn to look at Justin. ‘Well this is awkward’ I think to myself, eventually Justin speaks breaking me from my thoughts, “Can we please go outside I’m sick of being stuck here?” he ask with the puppy dog eyes he used to use on me when me, him, and jess were best friends. We were just like her, Alex, Hannah that it was painfully ironic.

“Clay said we had to stay in the house,” I reply before looking at his eyes again and giving in, “fine but we are only going to my house we have to be carefully.”

Smiling at me he says, “Thank you.”

Hanging out in my room was awkward, i’m not going to lie but it also had a familiar feeling that I had been missing all this time that he was gone. Neither of us said anything as he looked at the pictures I had all over the sides of my mirror and my wall. All off our memories, the walls were cluttered with Jess, Hannah, Tony, Alex, Zach, Clay, and Justin. I watched as he studied the one off on the corner, it was my favorite since it was taken a few days before he even looked at Jess and before I became their best friend instead of just his. We had spent the holiday weekend together at a campsite when my mom snapped the picture of me on his lap roasting marshmallows.

When he looked at me again I seen tears in his eyes almost as if he just remembered I was the best friend he left behind. Justin still didn’t say anything he just walked over and wrapped me in a long overdue hug that I was hesitant to return at first, but once I did I never wanted to let go.

//

Eventually Justin returned to school for good though Jess wasn’t to happy about it. Everything was actually going good and Justin was suppose to testify today which meant me and Clay were taking the day out of school to go and be there for him. When I showed up to the courthouse I seen Clay and Justin standing outside the courtroom talking with Mrs. Jensen until Justin noticed me and walked over to pull me into a hug.

We’ve gotten closer since the day I took care of him in replacement of Tony, but nothing ever happened between us.

By the time I figured out what I actually felt for my best friend we were standing in front of the courthouse after her heard Hannah’s trial results. The results were disappointing though most of us expected it to happen the way it did. We all were by Mrs. Baker’s side as she finished making her statement then It happened, before anyone could understand it Bryce was in cuffs being escorted down the steps as two more officers made their way towards Justin. My heart sunk when I realized what Justin did by admitting what he let happen to Jess, he turned himself over as well.

I held back tears as he walked down the stairs, I went to follow him when Jess beat me to it. I froze in my tracks but I still heard him tell her it was okay as they put him in the back of the car. I didn’t let a single tear fall until I was at home in the confines of my bedroom thankful my father was working away for the week so you could be free to cry without interruption. And that’s what I did for three days whenever I was at home because I couldn’t believe he really was gone.

//

Eventually it became a here and there thing that was mainly when I go to one of his hearings with Clay and Mrs. Jensen. Me and Clay felt horrible about him being there so we bonded and eventually I started telling him Justin and Is childhood memories, clay actually liked the fact that he got to know Justin even if it had to be through you, though he only admitted it once and probably never will again. After a while it was really stressful that bryce was out and Justin wasn’t but Mrs.Jensen was doing everything she could  to get him out, even if it still wasn’t enough.

When Hannah’s memorial ran around Clay was even more tense than he was before, I tried to get him to relax but it just didn’t seem to happen until he was up at the podium saying what he had put together as her goodbye. Afterwards we all met up at Monet's and wrote something on the wall that was be dedicated to her. I walked over sitting at a table with Tony and Caleb smiling at them as I set my drink on the table. I didn’t bother looking up until I heard Zach’s voice boom through the cafe though I couldn’t tell what he said, he is only ever that loud when something happens happen that makes him happy so I was curious. When I finally seen the reason for the comotion I notice Justin at a table with Clay and his mom, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of my best friend who has been locked away far to long.

//

I never got a chance to speak to Justin that day which is why i’m walking through the hallway trying to find him, the dance was this Friday and I wanted to ask him if he wanted to go. When I seen him he was with Clay who smiled as I approached the two, when I arrived in front of them Justin pulled me into a hug speaking first, “I missed you y/n”

“I missed you too,” I say burying my face in his chest before I we pull apart, “Are you going to the dance?” I ask continuing.

“Yeah me and Clay are going you should come”

I nod my heart sinking, ‘he wants me to go as a group with his friends’, “Okay,” I say.

//

We were all dancing to some of the songs when Justin slipped off so I was wandering through the barely locked school looking for him. When I found him though my heart stopped and I had to hold back the sobs that threatened to rip through my body. He was sitting in the locker room Jessica on his lap as they…

Backing up I hit some equipment causing them to figure out i’m there i’m there. Not caring that Justin is staring directly at me I turn and head out towards the front door. I just want to go home right now especially when I just seen Jess and Justin, one of which is in a relationship and it’s not with the other person.

[statticscribbles]

Hot Tub

Summary: Clay/Hannah; Clay joins Hannah/Bryce in the hot tub and Bryce leaves; Hannah and Clay talk

Clay can see Hannah’s trying her best not to just run and leave, she’d seemed happy at first but then Bryce must have said something or done something to make her react like his entire body was acid.

Clay’s not sure why he suddenly finds himself stepping forward. Or why he pulls his shirt and pants off to sink into the water between Bryce and Hannah. There’s not much room but Hannah looks grateful as she shifts over to allow Clay to sink between them.

“Hey Jensen…” Bryce grins, he’s slurring slightly and Clay can tell he’s putting it on, he knows Bryce hates being out of control, and the risk of a random drug test from the school keeps him from giving into drinking more than half a cup of watered down beer.

”I was just telling Baker here that since this is a hot tub, and we’re at a partyyyy…” He trails off winking at her and Hannah glares. Clay raises an eyebrow and then laughs.

“Well I hope you’re not going to do anything now. That’s fucked up since I’m still here, enjoying the hot tub for what it’s meant to be.” Clay shoots back and he can see Bryce already starting to grumble and be annoyed. It takes him another five minutes before he leaves and Clay can’t help but smile at how much Hannah relaxes when Bryce storms off no doubts to torment someone else.

”Thank you.” Hannah mumbles, it’s been like ten minutes of them just relaxes and Clay nods, smiling at her.

“Course I’d do anything for you.” He grins and curses himself for saying that out loud, he’s sure she’ll think he’s exactly the same as Bryce, but from the smile she shoots him he realizes she doesn’t consider him to be like Bryce at all.

They’re just relaxing, not really paying attention to anything going on around them, but Clay can see Hannah scooting closer to him and he reaches his hand out to loop around her shoulders. They sit like that for a while, for all Clay cares it could have been five minutes but then Hannah turns to face him and leans forward, actually kissing him. She pulls back and he wants to lean forward and kiss her again but he waits, he knows they’ve both been drinking and he really really doesn’t want to be called a wannabe Bryce. She doesn’t seem to think this as she leans back deepening the next kiss and he grins when she pulls away his hands hesitantly sliding down her sides.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“And go where?” Clay furrows his brow, still a little shocked Hannah had even kissed him.

“There’s bound to be a free bedroom upstairs.” She winks a little and Clay grins back nodding. He wraps the spare towel around her and leads her towards where he assumes the bedrooms are.

“Actually I think I’d rather go back to yours, or mine; the idea of being here and uhh, anyone barging in…” Hannah wrinkles her nose and Clay nods sighing a little.

“Thank god, I didn’t want to freak you out but I don’t really want to be stuck here. Hey Justin.” Clay grins and Justin nods to him, half support Jessica as he starts to walk her to the bedroom.

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah she’s just had too much, figured I’d drop her in the spare room to sleep.”

“We can take her home if you want to stay.”

”Oh really, that’d be killer. I don’t like the idea of leaving her here…” Clay nods , and both he and Justin walk her to the back seat.

“You know where she lives right Hannah?”

“Yeah, course. We’ll text you when she’s home.”

“Thanks.” He grins and Hannah looks into the backseat as Clay starts to follow the directions she’s given.

“This is a bit of a mood killer huh?” She laughs when Jessica whines and Clay grins shaking his head.

“Nah, I mean right now yeah, but we’re not going to do anything right now; it’d be like having a sleeping toddler in the back. Little weird.”

“I can’t believe you’re referring to Jessica as our daughter.”

“So we’re parents now? Hmmm does that mean I can make dad jokes to Justin?” Clay laughs and Hannah joins in.

Justin just sends a string of emoji’s back when Hannah texts a picture of a semi-sober Jessica getting scolded by her parents.

Clay laughs pulling Hannah back towards him for a kiss before they get into the car.

“So my place or yours?”

“Well both our parents are home so…”

“I’d go with mine, no offence.” Clay offers and Hannah grins nodding.

“To the Jensen house!” She laughs and Clay doesn’t think he’s ever heard anything prettier as he drives towards his house hoping his parents are asleep.

Support My Writing?

[sweetvengeancee]

Jealousy isn’t a good colour on you (Montgomery De la Cruz x Reader)

Warnings : Alcohol, jealousy, bad English. Word count: 2601.

A/N: I’m sorry for being a terrible person and posting every 8656 years. Depression is a bitch, and it’s back. It’s tiring to always pretend that you’re happy so all I wanna do all day long is sleep, but I promise I’ll post more soon.

Also, My armour, my first Montgomery imagine got over 500 notes; thank you all so much!

You can read my first Monty imagine here, my Zach imagine here and my Justin imagines here and here.

The party was already in full swing when Montgomery walked in the Walker household. Intoxicated teenagers were dancing – or more like grinding – in the living room, others playing in the swimming pool or relaxing in the hot tub.

The brown-eyed boy walked up to his group of friends in the back of the garden, a few of them already drunk even though it was barely 10pm. He poured himself some vodka in an empty red cup and leaned against the little bar as he sipped on it. His eyes scanned the crowd that was forming outside as he wasn’t really interested in the conversation the other boys were having about the upcoming basketball game.

The party was supposed to be like any other – he was going to dance, play beer pong, flirt a bit with a few girls and get drunk, ending the night in one of the guest rooms upstairs alone or with a random girl, he didn’t really care. That is until he saw her walk in, and all his plans for the night have changed.

Y/N was the nicest and the most beautiful girl in Liberty High, at least according to him. The way her H/C hair waved as she walked past him, the way her eyes shined and her lips curved into a small smile as she greeted him in the hallway everyday made his heart melt and his breath hitch. He was head over heels for her, but of course he would never admit it. The only person aware of his feelings for the girl was Jeff, as he has caught his teammate staring at her more than once and confronted him about it.

Go for it, ask her out! He remembers his blue-eyed friend saying one day, to which Montgomery had rolled his eyes and scoffed, pretending not to know what or who the boy was talking about. And it has been going on for almost three months – three painfully long months if you ask Jeff. It was tiring and also worrying him that his friend was still in denial. He couldn’t blame him for acting this way though, as he knew that the boy has never felt something like this before.

Sure, Montgomery De la Cruz has had girlfriends – a countless amount of them. But he never felt anything more than lust or want towards them. They were all pretty girls who would have done anything to win the player’s heart, but not one succeeded. Instead, Y/N did. And she wasn’t even trying.

It was the way she seemed always happy and cheerful that made him fall for her. She was permanently smiling, and her bright smile was oh so contagious. Everyone at Liberty High adored her – the teachers, the students, from the shy Clay Jensen and Tyler Down to the jocks such as Justin Foley or even Bryce Walker. And she, in return, adored everyone.

But she was too good for him, and he knew it. She was kind and he was harsh, sometimes even cruel. She was friendly, always helping new pupils to get adapted to the new school; and he was cold towards new people, always picking up fights with newbies and weaker ones. She was a hopeless romantic – he had noticed it when she dated a guy for a few weeks a couple months ago, and he was a player.

And so that was the reason why he hasn’t made a move. Although Jeff has been pushing him to do so, Montgomery wasn’t ready to get rejected by the only girl he actually felt something for.

“Y/N is looking good tonight.” Zach said, earning a few hums of approval from his friends and bringing Monty back from his thoughts. He blinked a few times and nodded softly, his attention back to the girl. Heat rose to his cheeks as Y/N’s eyes met his. Noticing him starring, she waved at him and he gave her a small smile before lowering his gaze to the now empty cup he was holding.

She was stunning. Her light blue dress and nude sandals made her look so innocent, almost angelic. She had let her hair down, just like he preferred, and her make-up was really light – just some mascara and lip gloss, from what he could tell from this distance.

He looked up once again and couldn’t help the small smile and the warm feeling that developed in his chest as he saw her standing a few meters away from him, talking to Hannah. Both girls were grinning and giggling – he could hear them from where he was. The sound of her laugh was music to his ears.

The boy sighed loudly, turning around to pour himself another drink. He earned a few confused stares from his friends but decided to ignore them, forget everything and enjoy the party.

Minutes passed, drinks were drunk and he could feel the alcohol pump in his veins. He wasn’t drunk, far from it actually, but definitely tipsy. He was still at the bar, sitting on a high stool with Zach to his left and a very wasted and almost passed-out Marcus to his right when a wave of braveness, most likely caused by the alcohol, took over him. He was going to talk to Y/N. Not ask her out, at least not yet, but just make small talk and see how things go.

He turned around on the stool to face the crowd, careful not to fall as his vision blurred for a second. Regaining his composure, he let his eyes run over the dancing bodies, a big smile plastered to his face. It only took him a few seconds to find her, and what he saw made his smile vanish and his brows furrow.

Y/N was there, in the middle of the dancing couples, her arms thrown lazily around Jeff’s neck as his hands rested gently on her hips. Monty’s fists clenched and his pupils dilated with anger, a strange feeling creeping on his heart making his chest feel heavy. It was something he had never felt before. Was it jealousy? It couldn’t be, Montgomery has never ever felt jealous before – if something, people were always jealous of him.

He could see them smiling and whispering things to each other, and it made him sick to the stomach. He felt furious, disappointed, betrayed. How could Jeff do this? Yes, Monty has always denied having feelings for the H/C haired girl. But he knew Jeff wasn’t buying any of his lies, they have known each other for so long they both knew when the other one was lying. The blue-eyed boy was even the one always pushing him to make a move, and now here we was, taking his chance the night Montgomery was finally going to try.

Getting off the stool, the boy stormed past the dancing crowd and towards the house, his fists and jaw clenched. Taking a last look back, his eyes met Y/N’s E/C ones for a second before he entered the residence, slamming the door behind him and leaving her utterly confused.

“What’s wrong with Monty?” She shouted over the music, her worried eyes lingering on the closed door. The question caught Jeff off guard, as he wasn’t really paying attention to his teammate that night. He had a mission at hand, after all.

“What? I don’t know.” The boy brushed her off, focusing back on his goal. “Can you still see them? How are things going?” Y/N’s eyes wandered around the garden in search of her friend, Hannah, and Clay. She nodded slowly once she found them, smiles plastered to their faces as they swung their bodies to the beat.

When Hannah Baker arrived at Liberty High, Y/N was over-excited. She couldn’t wait to show the new student around the school, and around the town. And as everyone else, Hannah grew fond of the H/C haired girl. She even considered her a friend.

Y/N being her very observant and romantic self quickly noticed that her new friend had the hots for the reserved and calm boy – Clay Jensen. And she made it her personal mission to set them up.

“Yeah, they’re near the hot tub, still dancing.” The girl informed him before pulling away from the boy, making him look at her with a raised brow.

Y/N and Jeff weren’t exactly friends until this year. They shared a few classes, but never really met outside of school and parties. That is until she learnt that Clay was tutoring him, and a plan formed in her head. She had met Jeff at his locker one day, and asked him to help her out, which he gladly accepted. Every time they met now was to discuss the, as they called it, ‘Mission: Clannah’.

“I, uh. I need a drink. I’ll be right back.” She quickly squeezed her way through the sweaty bodies, taking a big breath once she was out of the crowd.

She couldn’t help but worry. Montgomery looked furious. And what concerned her even more was the fact that it was her he was looking at before slamming that door, his eyes filled with anger but also something else that looked like hurt, as if it was her who has made him mad.

Truth is, Y/N has always had a crush on the baseball player. Ever since she met him in junior year at the cafeteria when she accidentally spilled water on him. She smiled at the memory as she walked towards the door, ready to find him.

The girl didn’t really know what it was in him that attracted her. Was it his bad boy attitude? His Colgate smile? Or maybe even his arrogance? She didn’t know, but she couldn’t help but to fall for him. Slowly but surely. Needless to say that all of her friends disapproved. They all warned her, sometimes even making up stories to discourage her. He’s an ass, Y/N. Forget him. They would say, but it only made her want to know him even more.

She was sure he wasn’t as bad as everyone said he was. There’s good in everyone. She would always reply, earning scoffs, eye-rolls and sighs from her friends.

Every time she saw him with another girl, her heart would ache, but she would still keep her happy façade. She couldn’t be mad at him after all, he had no idea of her feelings. But months passed and the girl couldn’t bring herself to act upon them. He would never go for a girl like me. She kept repeating herself.

The girls surrounding him were always the same type – pretty and confident, they knew what they wanted and how to get it. She just couldn’t picture him being interested by someone like her. Y/N was a good girl, and he was Liberty High’s bad boy. She was calm and he was rough. She was the sun and he was the moon.

The living room of the Walker house wasn’t as crowded as the garden. Only a few people were sitting on the couches, talking and laughing while playing a drinking game Y/N did not know. She wasn’t a big drinker, after all.

It took her only a couple of minutes to find the brunette sitting on the stairs, his head hanging low and an empty bottle of beer resting in his hand. He was breathing slowly, his shoulders moving up and down with each inhale and exhale of air. He looked calm, so calm she thought he might be asleep and she was ready to leave him be, until he moved to put the bottle down next to him. He still hasn’t seen her though, so she cleared her throat finally catching his attention.

“Y/N?” His voice was soft and quiet as he whispered her name, his eyes wide as he wasn’t expecting her to be here. He looked so lost, for a minute she wondered if he wasn’t completely hammered. But then he blinked a few times and shook his head as if to bring himself back from his thoughts to the real world. He kept on starring up at her, making her shift uncomfortably.

“Uh, are you okay? I was dancing with Jeff and saw you leave…” She asked unsure, looking down and playing with her fingers to distract herself from his beautiful brown eyes. His jaw clenched at the mention of Jeff, but it went unnoticed by the girl.

“I’m fine.” He answered shortly. Silence took over them, none of them knowing what to say. This was probably the longest conversation they’ve had had so far, except for school projects. And it was going terribly wrong. “You can go back to Jeff. I’m okay.” He spat after a while, making Y/N frown.

“Are you su-” Worry filled her voice and she tried to put a hand on his shoulder, only for him to look up at her which made her stop right away.

“I said I’m fine, Y/N!” He exclaimed, louder than he intended to. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, slowly breathing in and out to calm himself down. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, I’m gonna go I didn’-” She was already turning on her heel, ready to leave the house and then the party but Monty cut her off once again, totally ignoring her.

“I just, I can’t believe him.” The brunette let out a humourless laugh. “He knows how I feel about you yet he’s throwing himself at you.” He continued, his eyes focused on everything but the girl.

Y/N stood there motionless, her brain still processing what she had just heard. Did Montgomery De la Cruz, Liberty High’s biggest bad boy just confessed his feelings to her?

“You like me?” She asked, her voice shaky and unsure. “Me?” She repeated. Monty’s eyes finally met hers, he nodded slowly.

“Of course I do. You’re the most amazing girl in this goddamn town.” He said, keeping eye contact. Y/N could feel her heart melt and her cheeks turn a crimson red colour. She knew he was sincere, she saw it in his deep brown eyes.

“Why haven’t you told me?” She crouched down in front of him, taking his hands in hers, squeezing them gently.

“Because you’re way too good for me.” Monty looked down at their hands, intertwining their fingers together. “You’d never date me.” He whispered.

He looked so vulnerable at that moment – she had never seen him like this, she doubted anyone ever has. She smiled at him even though he wasn’t looking at her.

“Pick me up tomorrow at seven?” She finally asked after a few minutes. Montgomery’s head shot up, his eyes wide and his lips parted. Oh, how she wanted to kiss him right there, right then. But she bit on her bottom lip instead, forcing herself to focus. She looked at him expectantly as he searched for the right thing to say.

“I- uh, Are you-, I mean. Sure. Tomorrow at seven.” He stuttered, quickly nodding.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then” Getting up, Y/N laughed quietly at his shocked expression. Who would have thought that Y/N, the quiet good girl could leave Montgomery, the famous bad boy speechless? She turned around, slowly walking towards the door ready to head home for a good night of sleep before their date. “Oh and by the way,” She called catching his attention. “Jealousy isn’t a good colour on you.” She added with a smile before walking out leaving a smiling Monty behind. The boy laughed quietly to himself and rubbed at his tired eyes, shaking his head. He couldn’t wait.

I’m sorry the ending sucked

Tags

@bicuriousjensn @xbarrjallenx @miles-heizer-in-ur-panties

[mckirkings]

Of Mustangs and Slow Smiles - Chapter 1

A 13 Reasons Why Clay Jensen/Tony Padilla Fanfiction

AO3 Link: 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12631431/chapters/28781355

Summary: 

Sometimes distance is all you need. From a place; idea. From people. It’s replenishing, distance.

That’s why Clay is so excited to go on a summer trip with his best friend Tony. To get away from everything that has bogged him down during the worst year of his whole life. To come to terms with things, good or bad. Maybe even enter a new stage of his life, if he has the courage.

Because when did Tony become everything to him? How can he chance something more if he has nobody else?

Chapters:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

(For tags, please see the AO3 link.)

Chapter 1: Summer

Length: 3,331

The final bell rang, loud and abrasive.

Cheers quickly followed, filling the halls of Liberty High, and the worst school year of Clay’s life was finally over. None of his classmates paid attention to the cheery farewells Mrs. Hollows was giving, instead they were all chatting loudly and hastily leaving; one second the whole classroom was filled with noise and teenagers, the next it was empty except for Clay standing awkwardly by the homework collection bins.

“Uh, bye Mrs. Hollows.”

His no-longer teacher gave him that same look every adult now gave him, but at least she looked pleased at having been acknowledged, which was the whole point. “Bye Clay, have a nice summer! Take care of yourself, okay?”

Clay nodded curtly and gave what he hoped passed as a pleasant smile, slowly backing out of the Honors U.S. Government & Economics classroom and into the ceaseless throng of students in the hall.

He allowed himself to blend into the cheery crowd like he usually did, excitement burbling somewhere deep in his core—a feeling he hadn’t felt for long time. Skye passed him going the opposite direction and he gave a slight wave and a brief goodbye, which she returned before being swallowed by the crowd. He saw Sheri too, exchanged goodbyes with her on the front steps of school, and that’s when it finally hit him, under the shady trees and puffy white clouds.

He was free from all of it. For months.

He didn't have to think about school, trials, or tapes. Though he would always be thinking about Hannah, no matter what. Eyes wouldn’t follow him wherever he went either, nor would any whispers, and that fucking tone teachers now used whenever they talked to him wouldn't be heard at all. For a few bliss-filled months he wouldn’t be Clay Jensen, the kid who got Bryce Walker arrested and Mr. Porter fired; instead he would just be Clay, laid-back guy spending every waking moment of his vacation with his best friend.

Clay thought back to Mrs. Hollows’ words; yeah he would have a nice summer. A fucking fantastic one actually. One far away from this city and invasive reporters and surprise street interviews.

He was feeling better already.

Tony’s Mustang pulled up to the curb where Clay typically waited, his friend leaning over the stick shift to unlock the door for him. Clay shrugged his backpack off his shoulder and hopped in, tucking it between his knees before buckling up.

“Padilla.”

Tony met Clay’s eyes and cracked his usual subtle smirk. “Jensen.”

An unrestrained smile threatened to take over Clay’s face, something that only seemed to happen when he was around Tony. It didn’t help that his feeling of excitement was no longer just softly burbling under the surface but had instead completely sunken in and inundated his entire body.

Clay gave in to the feeling, allowing himself to smile. The way Tony’s eyes crinkled slightly in response was well worth it. His friend's smirk turned to a full-blown smile of its own as Tony amusedly shook his head, easing off the brake and accelerating away from the curb.

Clay watched Liberty High recede and lost himself in the rumble of Tony’s engine. Was this how Hannah felt at the end of sophomore year? Completely free?

“You ready for this trip?”

Tony’s warm eyes were filled with a different question. Clay nodded and smiled again, “Yeah, I’m already packed. Really looking forward to the complete au naturel experience.”

Tony breathed out a laugh and quirked a brow. Warmth joined the excitement in Clay’s guts. “I don’t know if staying in a cabin counts as au naturel, or whatever. Now it’d be a different story if we were going to actually camp…”

“Not going to happen Padilla, I have to ease myself into being a nature freak—I can’t just jump in with a month-long camping trip on my first try.” Clay tapped his fingers to the beat of the mixtape emanating from the speakers. Tony always had the best taste in music. “Anyway, it’d only truly be au naturel if we stayed in the forest with nothing but spears and loincloths… I don't really see my mom going for that.”

Tony laughed, turning down Main Street with an easy rotation of his palm. “You have an interesting sense of imagination, man. I’m just saying that if you really want to experience nature we should go out camping when we get there. I bet we could rent some equipment, no problem.”

“Yeah, uh, I guess we could do that.” Would they get separate tents? “I don’t really care what we do, I’m just excited to get the hell away from here.”

“You and me both…” As Tony turned onto Clay’s street Clay caught Tony’s slightly apprehensive expression in the reflection of the windshield. Weird how it all came down to his eyes and creased forehead. “Sure you can control that excitement of yours until tomorrow?”

The Mustang came to a slow stop in front of Clay’s house, the Wentworths’ kids were playing loudly in the yard across the street. “Yeah? It shouldn’t be an issue. I’ve waited this long, what’s one more night?”

“Hm, if you say so. Be ready early tomorrow, I’ll shoot you a text when I’m heading over.”

Clay gathered up his backpack and opened the car door. “Alright, sounds good. See you tomorrow.”

“See you, Clay.”

Clay took a few steps away from Tony’s Mustang, the engine idling and he could hear the music falter as Tony changed tapes. Before he second-guessed himself Clay turned around and strode up to the red muscle car, ducking his head through the rolled-down window. Tony turned to him, eyebrows high, a questioning look on his face.

“Uh, I just wanted to say thanks, for all of this… You didn’t have to agree to go on a trip with me, but you did—or agree to drive, or, uh, well everything else you’ve done for me this last year. It means a lot, so… Thanks Tony.”

Tony’s expression morphed into one of fondness and relief, his big captivating eyes kind and smile slight but more open than Clay was used to. Clay could feel his cheeks heat up, something that was happening increasingly often when he was around his best friend.

Tony’s voice was soft, “It’s no problem Clay, it’s not like you’re holding me hostage or anything—I want to go. And help you, always, like I said.”

Clay was certain his face was red now. “But still, thanks…” He averted his eyes and pulled back, “So, um, have a good night, I’ll just—“

Tony chuckled. “Yeah, goodnight Clay!”

Clay nodded and retreated from the car, bounding across his yard and up his front steps. Tony’s engine revved and Clay turned to see his car pull away, the sun glittering off the paint as it cast through the leaves of the tree-lined street.

When Clay entered his house he could still see Tony’s face, all open and handsome. It was like a ghost under his eyelids.

Clay was having that nightmare again. That one where he was standing there, on the other side of the guardrail. The city lights spread out beneath him like a dazzling blanket, the twilight sky shades of fading blue and orangish-pink, the colors reflecting off the Pacific just at the horizon.

It was beautiful, the view.

The wind whipped at him, his clothes nothing compared to the daggers of cold slicing through his body. His feet were planted right on the edge, loose rocks and pebbles jostling and falling over themselves down the cliff. Their sound echoing and disappearing the further down they fell.

It would be so easy, to just… To just lean forward and forget it all. To allow gravity to take hold, to claim him as he tumbled down…

He wouldn’t have to think anymore, to be responsible.

It was so tempting.

Clay realizes tears are streaming down his face, trailing down his neck, their weight constricting his breathing and strangling him. He knows he’s talking, or trying to; saying things aloud, to the sky and air, everything he should have told Hannah that night when they were both so vulnerable. All the possibilities and failed chances were uttered and flashed through his mind in that instant, before disappearing and becoming meaningless.

There was no changing reality, no matter how hard he loved or tried.

In the dream, the nightmare, he could hear Tony’s voice behind him, pleading for him not to fall, urging him away from the edge, the desperation in his voice heartbreaking and raw. He felt that tugging urge to walk away, but no matter how hard he tried Clay couldn’t listen to his friend, to the boy who had so much care to give. Instead in this reality Clay balanced on one leg, right on the edge, his other foot dangling in a half-step over nothing.

He leaned forward and was falling headfirst down, the cliffside rushing around him, trees and shrubs blurs of dusky color.

The city lights seemed infinite and shined like stars, like he was spiraling up to the heavens instead of down to earth. The lights spread apart, becoming incoherent, and the blackness between rushed in to fill their void; the tears streaming from Clay’s eyes being captured in the free-fall, little globs of anti-gravity floating around him.

One breath and the foot of the dark cliff raced up to meet him; Clay knew he had made a mistake, a horrible, grave mistake that he couldn’t ever take back. He cringed for the impact like he always did, the flash of pain followed by nothingness finally having cognitive weight on his mind.

He closed his eyes tightly, but instead of hitting the dirt at the bottom of the cliff like usual, arms reached out and caught him. They wrapped around him and cradled him close, gently, their strength and firmness protecting him. A soft but deep voice was whispering against his ear, reassuring him that everything would be alright.

He couldn’t open his eyes but he knew.

Tony.

“You sure you packed your anxiety medication?”

“Yeah mom, I'm sure.”

His mother was obviously flustered. “What about your toothbrush? Did you pack enough underwear?”

Clay readjusted the strap of his duffle as it dug into his shoulder, meeting his father’s amused eyes over his mother’s head. “I think so, I made sure to get all the essentials…”

His mother took a calming breath and smiled at him, bringing him into a tight hug. He couldn’t blame her for being worried; ever since the tapes and the trial he made a point of allowing himself to get closer to his parents, and this trip was a demonstration of the renewed trust between them. They probably wouldn’t have allowed it to happen if he was going with anyone but Tony.

She pulled back but kept her hands gently gripping his shoulders. “Okay, okay. Sorry, but I have to make sure… If anything happens don’t hesitate to call us, alright? We’ll drive and pick you up ourselves if we have to.”

Clay looked down at his mom’s shoes, the lightness of excitement inside himself threatening to finally burst forth. “I know mom, it’ll be fine. I should really go, Tony’s already out front…”

His mother smiled and pulled away completely, his father’s hand coming up to rest on her shoulder. Was it Clay’s imagination or did she look teary-eyed? “Alright! Go, have fun! We love you, stay safe!”

His father nodded, “Have a good time, pal. Be smart.”

“Pal? Seriously dad?” Clay let a laugh escape his mouth, taking a few steps to the front door. “Love you guys, I’ll let you know when we get to the cabin!”

He made his exit and ran down the front steps as his mother began to say her goodbyes again. Tony’s been waiting for at least 10 minutes already, he couldn’t risk being held up any longer..

The hum of Tony’s engine greeted him as he flew down his front walk, the sight of the red Mustang lifting a weight off his chest. This was finally happening, after all the planning and parental convincing, it was real. Clay couldn’t stop his grin from making an appearance, it only grew as he swung open the door and dropped his duffle into the back seat.

Tony was grinning too, all wide and slightly lopsided. “Hey Clay, ready for this?”

“I don’t think I’ve been more ready for anything in my life.” Clay buckled his seatbelt and shifted so he was more comfortable. “Let’s get out of here—quickly before my mom comes out and says I forgot something.”

Tony chuckled, shifting the gear out of park. “Eager, huh? I can help with that…”

Tony shifted the car again and put two hands on the steering wheel, accelerating out his parking space and down the street. Not over the speed limit, but definitely faster than was typical for Clay’s neighborhood. Clay wondered when his smile would falter, it didn’t feel like it would ever go away.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting, you know, uh, parents…”

“It’s no problem, I thought as much.” Tony glanced at him and reached out, firmly planting a hand on Clay’s shoulder. Tony squeezed slightly, Clay felt himself begin to flush. “They’re allowed to worry, we just have to show them that they shouldn’t have to.”

Clay huffed a laugh, his cheeks were already hurting from smiling so much. “So wise, oh Unhelpful Yoda…”

Tony’s hand retreated, Clay really wanted it to stay a little longer. “So you keep telling me. What do you want to listen to first? You get to control the sound for the first hour, and we have to kick this off right.”

“Is it really in my control if I’m choosing from tapes you’ve made?”

Tony shook his head and shot Clay a smirk, “Think of it as a curatorial position… C’mon, I’m dying for some music right now.”

Clay examined Tony’s tape collection in the center console, specifically the ones he knew Tony made just for driving. He thought through the track list of each tape, having them basically memorized after all the driving they’ve done over the last few months. His fingers ghosted over the tape backs, picking one up he knew had a lot of The Black Keys on it, they were perfect for road trips.

When he popped it in Tony nodded his head. “Good choice.”

“They’re all good choices, but thanks.”

“That’s right, only the good shit for my speakers!”

Clay laughed and glanced over at Tony. Even though he was paying attention to the road, Clay could tell Tony was smiling by the crinkling around his visible eye and the little upturn of his mouth in profile. It always felt nice to be around Tony when he smiled, and to make him smile, especially since he was so stoic and enigmatic around everyone else.

Clay drummed his fingers to the music on the leather lining the car door, where his arm was resting half out the window. He smiled too, watching the city pass by with unconcerned eyes.

As familiar sights came into view only to quickly disappear again it was like all the external pressure and stress that had taken hold over Clay’s life since the trial began to melt away with the music. He felt himself relax, sinking deeper into the seat, allowing himself to be loose and one with the sound. Tony was also feeling the music, nodding along as they went up an onramp onto the highway, one of his sturdy hands tapping the steering wheel along with the beat.

They had fallen into that comfortable silence which characterized their friendship so perfectly, basking in the ease and presence of the other.

It was always so easy being around Tony. For some reason his friend just got him, understood him in a way others didn’t, even as Clay vowed to become a better person and stop hiding how he felt. Tony knew what he was going through, saw Clay’s struggle, and still he was supportive and there. Tony was always there.

Sometimes Clay felt like he didn’t deserve Tony, that he took way more than he gave back. It didn’t help that he couldn’t be as open and honest with everyone as he’d like, even if he wanted to, and as much as it pained him some things had to remain hidden even from Tony.

One thing in particular, really.

There were moments when Clay found himself wondering… Wondering if Tony knew how he felt about him. But with Clay’s new confidence, or rather, lack of fear of embarrassment, came the ability to not turn into a blabbering mess whenever he talked to someone he had a crush on. So maybe Tony hadn’t noticed.

Or maybe Clay hadn’t changed in that regard at all, and the difference was only because this time around it was Tony who was the object of his affections. Tony, his old childhood best friend who Clay had so much history with; the only person outside his family he could even say he was close to. How Tony made him feel and react, with confidence and comfort, was so different than how Hannah had made him feel; still made him feel every now and again. There was stress over the possibility of confessing, of course, but there was none of that awkward tension between them when they talked, it was still uncomplicated. Most of the time.

There was another type of tension though, one Clay was sure he was just imagining, that permeated their conversations every once and awhile. He couldn’t recognize what it was—or maybe he was just trying his best to convince himself it was something else—but it was nothing he’d ever experienced before, it was different….

Maybe the differences were why Clay didn’t feel guilty, didn’t feel like he was betraying Hannah.

“That’s it, we’re out of the city limits now,” Tony said, leaning back and taking an easier position driving.

Clay looked around, tearing himself away from a possible dark spiral. He was supposed to be relaxing, damnit! Palm trees and vibrant green leaves stuck over the sound barriers on either side of the highway, the peaks of cookie-cutter homes making themselves known here and there. “Still not in nature though,” he observed.

“Still have hours to go.”

Clay felt a renewed giddiness, they were so close to finally escaping. “Want me to change the tape? I think I need something with a bit more energy, y’know?”

“It’s your call man, you're still the one in control.”

“That’s right… I am, aren't I?” Clay browsed the tapes again, he wondered if Tony knew he was talking about more than just music. “How about this?”

The raw notes of Sleigh Bells belted from the speakers, Clay turning up the volume. Tony and him exchanged a grin, Tony speeding up as the cars began to thin out near the edge of the suburbs. The wind shrieked through the rolled-down windows and the distorted sound of experimental music sent waves of adrenaline through Clay’s veins.

He felt energized and ready for anything, almost high but absolutely free. Like when he and Tony had climbed that cliff face and shouted when they got to the top; he felt alive. So alive that he needed to scream or yell—he gave in and let out a triumphal howl and sang loudly along with the music.

Tony was wide-eyed for a second but then he laughed and followed Clay’s example; jamming out without a care in the world as the highway narrowed from eight to four lanes, as it began to wind through hills and eucalyptus trees, away from the Bay Area and out to the middle of nowhere.

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

whats the cause of his cute lil mental break 🥺 and why is it ethan ramsey lol jk

no bc it literally was ethan. + a bunch of other shit but ethan was his breaking point <3

also answering for these two :)

@aces-and-angels

so to go WAY back to the origin (beyond his usual mental health struggles) he got into his motorcycle accident a montg before he was supposed to leave on a docs without boarders type of trip. on top of the physical pain (fractured humerus, mild shattered knee cap, broken wrist, and a shard of metal to his chest that nearly took out his lung), he was really upset that he couldn't go

healing was a LONG process. it took him a few weeks to get home, and then it was a lot of recovery and pt appointments after the fact. not being able to work/do things bothered him more than the physical pain

he was alone at his place most of the day which was rough, but bryce was sure to come over most nights and his friends would stop by here and there

he's finally cleared to go back to work (w the help of a knee and wrist brace). tobias had taken over the team while he was gone and jensen was fine to let him keep it while he was still getting back to 100%

things were okay but it was rough adjusting, and the whole time he was emailing w the people who ran the trip he was supposed to take, and they had no other openings for like,, two years. so that just kinda crushed him

ab a month after he gets back he tells tobias he's ready to take the team back, to which he happily agrees but made sure to let jensen know that he could let him know if he ever needed a break

not too long later jensen is in a meeting w some of the board + ethan + bloom and other higher up hospital people. he gets a little mouthy about some of the policies they were developing while he was gone, and some of the types of patients they'd be impacting (that they did not consider when developing it)

ethan pulls him aside after and starts comparing him to tobias. mind you tobias did not attend meetings like that since he was a temporary fill in, but as far as communication went he was much more simple compared to jensen. ethan started criticizing how jensen Always has something to say w stuff like that and meetings were perfectly pleasant without him

jensens already sensitive to the fact that he's taking over the dt for a second time, so to have ethan tell him that he'd rather not have him there is tough. he rolls his eyes and moves along like normal but it sticks

over the next month or two it's just more of that from ethan. jensens stressed w the dt workload plus pt appointments plus check ups plus trying to sort out legal stuff from the accident

the board ends up pushing through a policy that particularly impacts non english speaking patients, which puts more work onto jensen as a registered translator. he's constantly being pulled in like 12 directions, and i imagine their nursing staff got a system makeover which means nobody knows how to sort out any complications in scheduling for a bit, and constantly puts them behind schedule

jensen wanted to bring it up to some of the board members ab how it was a bad policy And bad timing but ethan approaches him on why that's not a good idea to bring up

during this time jensen had really been isolating himself just bc he didn't have the energy for his friends or anything aside from work

their argument turns into quite the spectacle. ethan lays into him on causing unnecessary extra problems when the hospital is already struggling w new changes and jensens ab to fucking kill him. jensen is not one to argue back, usually just quietly sits there and takes it, but he fucking blows up on ethan. tells him that he has no idea what it's like actually struggling w shit, how much hes dealing w from recovery to incompetent higher ups to the world falling apart and their political system going up in flames. he is so stressed about everything and ethan thinks it's a good time to ask him to "be pleasant" bitch please.

the argument happens literally in the middle of one of the busiest halls next to one of the nurses stations and it gets them both put on a suspension

jensen does not handle the suspension well. he hadn't been to therapy since before the accident and couldn't get a refill on his meds so he stopped taking them a few weeks ago. he hasn't talked to his friends in a month, and saw bryce maybe twice but bryce was also worrying ab his stuff for his boards so jensen wasn't going to bother him w it anyway

all of this = jensen being completely alone and isolated in his apartment for a week w no mental support after being completely overworked and overwhelmed for months and still getting used to the knee and wrist braces and coming to terms w the longterm impacts of the accident. thus ensues the mental break

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 16

A/N: This chapter is very Justin-centric. I felt like Addy and Justy needed a day where they didn't need to worry about boys or moms. Just a day to be kids. It’s kind of filler but I like it. It’s a light chapter. As always, feedback is always nice and much love. - Em 

Things were awkward between us for the next week. We had agreed to table the discussion about his dad and had come to a tentative understanding about Justin. We had never had a fight like that before so, we weren’t really sure where the lines were yet. I learned that his dad was a line you don’t cross unless invited. He learned that Justin was a line that was going to run parallel to our relationship, whether he liked it or not. Monty’s behaviour at school was different too. He was a little nicer for people to be around. Not Tyler Down, but I couldn’t really blame him. The kid was fucking creepy. Monty was even sort of polite to Justin.

By the following Monday, things had gone back to normal. Our texts were longer and less to the point. He was… well he was more Monty at school than he was for a few days. His friends didn’t seem to pick up on the change. But I did. He’s trying. I got dressed in in my comfy light wash jeans, because Justin and I were going to the mall after school and paired it with a light pink tank top with an old red and black flannel. The flannel had been sitting at the back of my closet for quite a while. I found it while I was going through and cleaning it out for donations. “Morning Dad.” I called as I heard him pass my room. He cleared his throat and grunted in response. He must have just woken up.

Downstairs, dad was making a cup of coffee while he read the paper. “Morning Addy.” He nodded when he heard me. Definitely just woke up. Grabbing a granola bar for breakfast, I went through and gathered up my books for school. Once they were neatly arranged in my backpack, I set it by the door. My book from last night was still sitting on the island. I took it and flipped it open to my last page since I had a little time to kill before leaving for school. Deciding I would get too lost in the book, I rethought and took it over to my bag to take to school.

“Justin and I are going to the mall after school. He needs help shoe shopping. And I need to grab a few replacement shirts. I had to throw some out that were too old.”

“Have fun. Don’t forget to grab your mom’s prescription on the way home.”

“I won’t. Do we need anything else while we are out?”

“No, we should be okay. I’ll text you if I think of anything today. Your mom will be late today too. One of her students needed to schedule an afterhours meeting.”

“Okay. See you later dad.”

“Bye.”

Justin was early today, which surprised me. At least until I noticed his duffel bag. He must have spent the night at Bryce’s last night. He was mingling with his friends. I waved as I passed them to my locker, not paying anyone much mind. I watched them a bit from across the hall. They were goofing off as usual. Justin’s smile seemed a little forced. I’ll talk to him after school. My eyes scanned the group. When they landed on Monty, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. And I will admit I may have possibly spent more time than strictly required, simply checking him out. It was during my perusal of his body that I noticed something familiar. A little too familiar. My eyes widened and I looked down. That… that’s… we are wearing the same shirt. Spinning around and opening my locker again, I ripped off the flannel and shoved it in my locker.

Casually making my way over to the group of boys, I made sure to rub my arms like I was cold. “Morning Justin. Morning Boys.” I shivered.

“Morning Addy.” Justin said, as he leaned in to hug me gently.

“Where’s my morning Addy?” Bryce smirked.

“Oh, I’m sorry Bryce. I must have forgotten we say morning to each other. Morning Walker.”

“Morning Addy. Are you cold or are you finally going to tell us all what your secret to doing well in school is?”

“I’m cold. And I’ve shared my secret with you before. It’s called actually opening the books they rent to us and reading them. Hey Justin, do you have an extra sweater? I spilled water on my other shirt like right after I left the house.”

“Yeah, I have one in my locker. Go ahead and grab it.”

“Thanks. Have I told you you’re the best lately?”

“Nope.” He laughed.

“Well, now I have.”

I was in a good mood when lunch rolled around. I nodded to Courtney in the hall on my way to the cafeteria. She was talking to Marcus about one thing or another. Tyler was watching Hannah in a way that had it been anyone else, wouldn’t have been weird. Clay was watching her too. I smiled and waved at him. He nodded back. “Hey Addison.” Tyler called. I turned around and he waved his camera at me. I waved my book in the air like I was busy but stopped for the student life photographer anyway. He snapped his photo and I continued on.

Since I was in a good mood, I didn’t even think twice about sitting with Justin and his friends. “Are we eating at the mall?” Justin asked when I sat down.

“I don’t see why not. I’ll have to stop at Baker Drugs on my way home though. Mum has a refill waiting.”

“Okay.” He nodded and bit into his sandwich. Jeff bounded over to the table.

“Guess who got above a C?” He asked, proudly.

“You?” Anders asked in response.

“Yup. Now I can finally make Clay make a move.”

“He’s going to hate it Jeff.” I said.

“I know. But he needs to put himself out there.”

“Make a move on who?” Monty asked.

“Hannah Baker.” Jeff replied. “Everyone knows he likes her.”

“I don’t really pay attention to the Jensen kid.” He shrugged.

“He hates dances.”

“I know. But a deal is a deal. I get above a C he goes to the dance. Are you going Addy?”

“Wasn’t planning on it, no.”

“Why not?” Bryce asked. I rolled my eyes.

“I hate school dances. The only not crappy part is that Tony is DJing.”

“You have to go. I’m going.” Justin begged with his mouth full.

I shook my head. What is it with boys not chewing their food? “I went to the last one. It’s Bryce’s turn to babysit you.”

“I babysat last time.”

“No, you didn’t. You were sneaking off behind the bleachers with your date. I babysat. Plus, I can’t tie a tie. And neither can Justin. Ergo, your turn.”

“Yes you-.” Justin started. I kicked him under the table.

“I’m not going to the stupid dance. Besides, I have homework.”

“Addison. The dance isn’t for like three weeks.” Jeff complained.

“I know Jeff. But I am not Clay Jensen. I have friends. I have a life.”

“Aren’t you friends with Clay?” Scott asked.

“Yes. So, I know he keeps to himself. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to the dance.”

“You’re not going to the dance yet.” Justin smiled devilishly. I rolled my eyes.

“Did you finish your English paper?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Did you?” He challenged. Monty choked on a laugh. Smooth. Bryce quirked his brow.

“Did you just ask her if she finished a homework assignment?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged.

“Yes, I did. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. Since you’re on me about my homework.”

“Justin. The last time she handed something in late, was like seventh grade because she was out of school the day it was due.” Monty added.

“I remember. She had a stress rash because of it. How do you remember?”

He shrugged. “It had never happened before.” He noticed that? And thought it was important enough to remember? Thankfully before any more questions could be raised, the bell rang.

“I’ll meet you at my locker after school Justin.” He gave me a thumbs up before walking away, already in conversation with Zach about something.

Justin and I drove to the mall, singing along to whatever was on a Spotify artist radio. “Do we want a pretzel now or later?” I asked as I pulled my purse out of my backpack in the car. I had changed back into the flannel from this morning while I waited for my best friend at my locker.

“Now.” We said in unison.

Pretzels in hand, we wandered around the mall for a while. “I need some new shirts. I had to throw a bunch out because they were really old and not able to be donated.”

“You want opinions?”

“Of course.”

“Shoes first?”

“Sure.”

“DSW?” He shrugged and nodded. At the store, we headed straight for the men’s section. I pointed out a few pairs that seemed like they were his style. He made a face at the first couple of pairs and shook his head. Shrugging, I pointed out a pair of Nikes that were on sale. He gave me his best seriously look and I laughed. “They could be nice.”

“Yeah. If I want to look like my feet are three sizes bigger than they are.”

“You know what they say about guys with big feet though Justin.” He flipped me off. “What about these?” This time, he actually tried them on. They were not the right ones.

After a few more busts, we decided it was time to try a different store. Famous Footwear was having a sale. We stopped in there. Once again, we headed straight for the men’s sneakers. He tried a couple of pairs of Converse. Neither of us were very big fans. “White?” I asked, pointing out a pair of Pumas.

“No.” He shot down. I nodded and we kept looking. He picked up a pair of grey and white Nikes. “These are nice.”

“They are.” We found his size and he tried them on. “How do they feel?”

“Good.” He flexed his foot a few times before trying them out to walk. “Yeah, these feel good.” I smiled and we placed them back in the box to go pay.

Shoes in hand, we made a quick pitstop for coffee. Justin brought up the topic of the Winter Formal again while we walked around trying to find some shirts for me. “Are you really not going to go Addy?”

“No Justin. I don’t want to go. And besides, I have no one to go with.” At least, no one I can go to a school dance with.

“You can go with us.”

“Go with you and Bryce. And Bryce’s boys?” I quirked my brow, sharply.

“Yeah. We don’t bite. We are fun.”

“Fun. Sure.” I muttered.

“You could see Clay try to talk to Hannah.”

“Or I could sit at home and binge watch Pretty Little Liars.”

“I thought you said you had homework Addy.”

“You know that was just so Jeff would let my excuse slide. For now, at least.”

“Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“If I say I’ll think about it, will you drop it?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Then I will think about it.” He made a fist pumping motion and I burst out laughing. “You are such a freaking dork.”

We stopped at Target and looked around the clothes-he wasn’t going to let me look at anything else-for a while. But nothing really felt like me when I looked at it or tried it on. American Eagle was a little better. I was able to at least find things I liked on the hanger and on me. “This?” I asked Justin when I came out of the dressing room in a soft purple shirt.

“It’s nice. Makes your boobs look good.”

“That’s always a plus.” I added it to the small yes pile. A blue one was next. He shook his head.

“Not your colour.”

“Didn’t think so.” A couple more noes were added to the pile before we checked out. Aritzia and Zara were close by, but I didn’t like anything on the rack enough to try it on. We made a quick stop at Madewell and I got a couple of plain white t-shirts.

“Can we make a Sephora stop? I need to replace my foundation.”

“We can if you give me your wallet, so you don’t spend all of your money.”

“I won’t spend it all. I literally only need a new bottle of foundation.”

“Alright. You have ten minutes to get in line tops.”

“Yes Dad.” I shook my head. Justin scoffed jovially. He followed close behind me in the store to make sure I stayed true to my word. They were out of my shade in my usual formula. I grabbed a bottle of my backup formula instead. By the time we were done, I didn’t even have the energy to make a stop at the bookstore. We decided to grab a slice of pizza to go instead of sitting in the food court.

Back in town, we stopped at Baker Drugs and got my mom’s prescription. I grabbed a box of gobstoppers for good measure and grinned at Justin. “Are you spending the night? We can do movies before bed as long as you aren’t a pain in my ass in the morning.”

“Sure. I’ll let my mom know.”

At home, I texted Monty while Justin was in the bathroom. Hey, Justin is spending the night for movie night.

Okay. How was shopping?

Good. I got some stuff.

Awesome. Enjoy your movies babe. Justin came back before I could reply. “Who you texting?”

“Just Zach about our Government assignment. Do we want snacks?”

“Of course, we want snacks.” Together, the two of us went downstairs and raided the cabinets.

“Hi Justin. Hi Addison.” Mum greeted as she came in the door.

“Hi Margot.” Justin replied.

“Hi Mum.”

“Make sure you don’t eat too much candy you two.” She chuckled when she saw us trying to stuff a box of Swedish berries in Justin’s sweater.

“We won’t Mum.”

“Yes Mom.”

I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Justin and I ran upstairs with our contraband. We both changed into comfy clothes and arranged our candy on my bed. When the microwave beeped, I ran back down to get it. Mum pretended not to notice me grabbing an extra chocolate bar. I heard her laughing with dad about it though.

“They really are quite cute together.”

“I suppose. Thankfully we don’t need to worry about them being another kind of cute.” Dad said. No, you really don’t.

Justin had Netflix pulled up when I got back to my room and shut the door. He was scrolling aimlessly. “I put butter on in the middle and the top.”

“Wonderful.” He grinned. “What mood are we in?”

“Superbad?”

“Addison! That is an R rated movie.” He exclaimed, scandalously.

“But it’s funny.”

“Superbad it is.” We got settled and hit play. After it was done, we scrolled through and picked The Social Network. Finally, just for fun to end the night… er, morning, we decided to watch the 2011 Footloose. Between the three films, we ate so much candy we knew we would wake up with stomach aches on Tuesday.

[13reasonswhyobsessed]

Tony/Clay: Missing Pieces

Here you go, @platonic-relations06 :) Hope you enjoy this, even though it's probably not what you had in mind. I tried to write a hurt!Clay and protective!Tony with a twist to it. WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Ghosts. Major Angst. Sad fic. Be warned. ~Present~ Clay is killing himself. He isn't killing himself in that way. But looking at pictures from when they were kids in a box he had kept in his closet on the top shelf, looking at recent pictures of them on his phone, going through text messages...It's killing him. Emotionally. But even though Clay is aware of this, he doesn't stop. Today is just another day of feeling empty, a permanent ache in his chest that will never go away. Some days Clay convinces himself that Tony isn't gone. And some days he isn't gone. Clay knows he's going insane, just like he did with Hannah, but this is different. With Hannah, the hallucinations stopped after two weeks. With Tony, they go on for months. And it's not just hallucinations. Tony is actually there, having normal conversations with him, sitting across from him on his bed. Clay just can't bring himself to stop it. Tony will reminisce about old times. He’ll tell stories about things they did when they were children. He’ll talk about how he's had feelings for Clay since he can remember, how he loves him. He’ll talk about their first kiss on top of their rock, how nothing else had felt right but being with Clay right then and there. Clay will speak back, laugh and smile along with him, but the knife twists in his heart more and more each time. Clay knows it isn't healthy to be doing this to himself. Tony is dead, not really there, and that's why it's so hard for him to let go. He can’t let go. Refuses to, despite it all. Part of him thinks that as long as he can see, smell and hear Tony, he can keep his best friend alive a little bit longer. There's a knock on the door and then it opened. Tony stepped inside before shutting the door behind him and then takes a seat next to Clay on his bed. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” He asked. Clay doesn’t respond. “Clay?” There's concern in his tone. It makes Clay sick. “I'm fine,” he answered shortly. “You don't seem fine. You seem sad.” Tony reached up and placed a hand on the side of Clay’s face. “You okay?” Normally, Clay would lean into it and close his eyes, enjoying the touch. Today, he pulled away. He wants to feel his pain today. “Don't,” he told Tony. “Don't do that.” Tony blinked in surprise and pulled his hand back. “Do what, Clay? What's going on?” Tears welled up in Clay’s eyes and he looks away, pulling his knees up to his chest. “I can't help you if you don't tell me,” Tony urged gently. “Did somebody hurt you?” When Clay still didn't answer, his voice suddenly turned angry. “Seriously, Clay, did someone--? Was it Bryce again? Justin? My brothers and I will kick their asses, Clay, I swear to--” Clay cut him off sharply. He doesn't want to hear what Tony has to say right now. Tony can't do anything, even if Clay’s pain was because of Justin and Bryce. In fact, he wished it were that. But Bryce’s family moved away last year and Justin isn't so much of a dick to him anymore. No, this is just about Tony. What is a hallucination supposed to do to help him? “I don't need your help,” he answered. “When I do I'll tell you. But I'm fine.” “I know you're not fine, Clay.” “Why are you here, Tony?” It's a question Clay finds himself asking all the time ever since he lost the real Tony. Tony gives him the same answer he always does. “I wanted to see you.” And Clay started to cry. Like he always does. And he allowed Tony to wrap him up in his arms, allowed himself to bury his face in the crook of Tony’s neck. It does nothing to ease the pain, but he doesn't pull back. “It's okay, Clay,” Tony comforted him, rubbing his back with one hand while the other runs his fingers through his hair on the back of his head. “It's okay. I'm right here. I'm always right here.” The words are full of reassurance and love, and it made Clay cry harder. “I'm sorry,” Clay cried into his neck. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It should've been me. I should've stopped it. I'm sorry.” Tony squeezed him gently. “It's okay. It's not your fault. Clay. It's not your fault. It's never your fault.” Except it is Clay’s fault. Clay knows it. It was him who the man was pointing the gun at. It was him who was supposed to die that night. But Tony had protected him, just like always, and this time it resulted in his death. “Yes it is!” Clay hissed out, voice broken. “You can't say it's not!” Tony pulled away and gripped his shoulders with both hands tightly. “Listen to me, Clay,” he said firmly, looking directly into Clay’s eyes. “What happened to me is not your fault. I saved your life because I love you--” “And it's my fault you love me.” There's a pause. “Yes,” Tony said after a moment. “And it's my fault you love me, right? My fault that you're in so much pain right now? So I guess we’re even then.” He smiled softly and placed his hands on the side of Clay’s face. “I love you, Clay Jensen. And there is nothing that will ever make me regret that. Ever.” ~Past~ The night that Tony died, Clay remembers screaming and screaming for help until his voice was hoarse. He remembers being dragged away from Tony’s body by the police. He remembers having to go down to the station to talk about what had happened, and then needing his parents to help him up the stairs to his bedroom because he was in too much shock to make it up himself. The worst part of Tony dying wasn't even the declaration that had been made before the bullet pierced his head. It was the wide, terrified look in Tony’s eyes that Clay will never forget. Tony had needed help in that moment for the first time, and Clay couldn't do anything. In the end, Clay had failed Tony. Maybe Tony would disagree, but Clay knows it’s true. He knew it when he cradled his best friend’s body in his arms, sobbing over the one person he could never bare to lose. And still he knows it now. He doesn't remember how many days he stayed locked in his room right after that night, never letting any light into his room. He slept off and on for what could have been week, and it wasn't until he thought he heard a very familiar voice that he snapped out of it. He had held his breath, thinking that Tony was going to come into his room at any minute and drag him out of bed, and only got complete silence in return. Lainie did everything she could to get him to eat. He refused, at first, but he eventually started to eat again just to appease her. His mother and father did everything they could to try and cheer him up, but Clay could see the sadness in their own eyes. One night, when Clay was crying into his pillow, he heard it again. Much clearer this time. “Clay?” Clay covered his ears with us hands to drown it out. “Clay, can you hear me?” Despite himself, Clay pulled his hands away and sat up quickly, looking around his room with a racing heart. Tony's voice was too clear then for him to be imagining it. But what else could it have been? Tony's dead. He scoffed at himself for being ridiculous and dropped his head back onto his pillow, not noticing the shadow that stood in the corner of the room, watching him with devastated eyes. ~Present~ “Can you stay?” Clay asked. He and Tony were laying on his bed, watching each other with their foreheads pressed together. Tony frowned, sudden pain in his eyes, and didn't say anything. It's not the answer he's usually received with, so Clay suddenly feels nervous. “Tony?” “I can't stay, Clay. Not anymore,” Tony responds quietly. “I'm gone, Clay. I'm dead.” Clay's heart broke at the words. “I know you are.” “No, you think you're imagining me right now. And you're not.” Tony reached down between them and took Clay’s hand. “I'm here, Clay. I've always been here. You were never imagining me.” “You can't go.” Clay shook his head frantically, ignoring what Tony said about being real. “You can't. I need you. I need you here with me.” He started to panic, breathing picking up and chest tightening. “Clay. Clay, stop.” Tony stroked his thumb over the taller boy’s cheekbone soothingly, trying to calm him down. “I'm stuck here, babe. I can't leave until you let me go. And you need to let me go.” Clay squeezed his eyes shut. A tear slides down his cheek and he let out a shudder when Tony brushes it away. “I can't lose you again,” he said, voice thick with tears. “Whether you're real or not, I can't...Please. Please don't go, Tony. Not again.” “Clay...I can't move on without your help. I don't want to go, either, bud. Not without you. But I've been here long enough. I needed to make sure you were going to be okay, to protect you...And I did. You're gonna be okay. I know that for a fact.” Clay sobs and placed his own hand on the side of Tony’s neck. “Tony, don't ask me to do this.” Tony had tears in his eyes as well. He let out a shaky breath and pressed his lips against Clay’s. Clay depends the kiss almost immediately, desperate to kiss this man one last time. “You have people who care about you,” Tony breathed out when they pull away. “Jessica, Justin, Zach, Sherri, Alex...They’re gonna be there for you. Okay? You won't be alone. And Clay...I'm always gonna be right there with you, even if you can't see me or hear me anymore. I'm always gonna be there to protect you.” “I don't even know if I'm gonna survive this,” Clay choked out. “I don't know if I can handle it.” Tony brought their lips back together for another moment, his own tears falling over. “Yes, you can,” Tony assured him. “I promise you that you can. You're strong, Clay. You've always been strong, even if you didn't realize it.” Clay clung to him. They held each other for what could have been hours and it still wasn't long enough. Then, when he finished crying, whispered, “I guess it's not fair to make you stay here. I can't be selfish now.” “Clay, you are anything but selfish.” Clay let out a humorless chuckle. Tony smiled and kissed his forehead. “Will I ever see you again?” Clay asked. “I don't know,” Tony said honestly, smile turning sad. “But I love you. I will always love you.” “I love you too.” Clay managed to smile back somehow. “I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, Tony.” Tony nodded. “I know, Clay. And I'm gonna miss you too. But don't ever forget that I'm still always gonna be here--” “To protect me,” Clay finished for him. “I know.” They share one last goodbye kiss and then Tony is gone. True to his word, Tony is his guardian. Clay never hears or sees him again, but he can feel it when Tony is close, knows that it's Tony helping him beat the shit out of some asshole jock who Clay got into a fight with. Tony isn't completely gone. And Clay knows he will see him again in the future, hopefully many years from now. Hannah was his first love. Tony would always be his last.

[kerguelenn]

Keep The Door Open_ Zach Dempsey x Reader (Justin Foley’s sister)

So I’m french and start Tumblr two weeks ago I think. And I discover this amazing things called “Imagines” and just fell into it. And then, I decide to write one. So since I’m french, you can guess that English isn’t my first language so I excuse myself for all the mispelled word and everything. Hope you will enjoyed.

Warning: None, except the fact that I love Zach so much.

      You know it’s bad. Or not. All you know, the only things your brain is capable of process for the moment is how good Zach Dempsey is a kisser. And you can totally deal with it. Because you’re kissing him back. In your bedroom, on your bed. Two feet away from your brother’s room, your boyfriend’s best friend. Yeah, you know how mess up it sound but you like Zach since Justin came back home one day with him. He is an old crush, and you were okay with keep it a secret since you were incapable to talk to him without babbling stupidly. So you really didn’t though he liked you back. That was completely impossible. That why you thought he was messing with you when he asked you out, you thought your brother was trying to mock you because you win at basketball against him the night before. And you specially didn’t believe Zach because he asked you in school where a dozen of students could have see you or heard you. But he keep asking, and you finally say yes. And now, that’s exactly what you’ve been doing since three months. Hiding and making out like horny teenagers.

           You and Zach wanted to go public but both of you were a little scared by the reaction of Justin when he will learned the truth. So you kept it quiet waiting for the right moment. But with all the mess with Hannah Baker’s tape (yes you knew about it, she wasn’t your friend but you liked her, and learning you brother and boyfriend play a role in her death wasn’t easy to deal with. Especially with the Bryce’s tape), and Jessica breaking up with him; your brother wasn’t in the right shape to deal with anything.

           Zach moves to your jugular, kissing you. He always makes you so lost after a make out session. For hours you could still feels his breath on your neck, the shape of his lips or his scent on your close. It’s like he has a super power, making you hot and lost and only capable to think about him for the next hours.

“Zach?”

He keeps kissing you, ignoring your voice.

“Zach? Baby?”

Your right hand is playing with his hair, loving how soft they are.

“Hmmmm?”

You smiled a little, knowing he trying to ignore you because he’s already know what you’re going to tell him.

“You know you can’t leave mark here.”

He’s finally leaving your neck to look you in the eyes.

“Why are you always breaking my heart Y/N?”

He’s pouting like a three years old who didn’t get the toys he wants. It’s look so cute that you can’t repress the urge to kiss him and changing place on the bed to be on top.

“First because Justin doesn’t know about us and I really don’t want to have this weird conversation with him at breakfast. And two, because i don’t like it. I always saw hickey like marks.”

“That was it is Babe. Love marks.”

He kiss you again making you speechless for a few second. But your hands find their way to his torso and push him back to the mattress holding him.

“But I just find them disturbing you know, like suddenly you were just on objects that someone own. And everyone is judging you, talking behind you back. Making you feeling bad and awful. Sometimes, i see girl with hickeys on their neck, next to their boyfriend. They should look happy, but their eyes are filled with  fear, but they have to pretend because that’s why their boyfriend expected them to do. They controlling their lives. And I don’t want that.”

You know you speak without thinking, because after you finished, Zach hands fell from your hips and his eyes looks hurt.

“Do you really think so low of me Y/N? Do you think I want to put on hickey on your neck only to treat you like shit? Really? After I run after you for a month, asking you repeatedly on a date when you just keep rejecting me? You must be fucking kidding me.”

Zach push you back on the other side of the bed, collecting his things. You’re so lost by how things went to hell in a few second that your brain doesn’t register with the actual situation right away. But just before he reach the door you push him against it kissing him like your life depends on it. Because it is, you love Zach fucking Dempsey so much that you cannot live with him leaving your room without knowing if it will be okay between you two. Your hands are behind his back trying to draw him towards you (with the height difference it’s not really easy to kiss him without holding him) you’re trying to show him how sorry you are for hurting him, showing him how much you care about him. You can feel how much he cares about you. His hands travels along your back till it stop after your ass to carry you. Letting you be has his height. He push you back to the door and kissing you like he’s going to die tomorrow.

After you’re both breathless from the kiss, you try to make you look at him.

“Zach, I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry but it’s not okay if you leave every time I going to hurt you. Because I’m going to do it, even if I don’t want too. So you need to tell me, explain me your point of view. I don’t know the world. I only know what I thinking, what I believe in. What I love.” You’re caressing his face, lightly on his cheeks trying to erase all the wrong that have be done to him. “I love you Zachary Shan-Yung Dempsey and I’m not going anywhere.”

You’re the first one of the two of you to tell the word Love. And you’re really trying to not freak out at the moment because yes, you know you love him, you’re probably love him since the first smile he address you but you just said it out loud without knowing if he feels the same about you.

“I was supposed to say it first. I love you Y/N Foley. More than you could ever know. And I don’t want to mark you to control you. I want to mark you because I love you. And maybe because I want to show everyone that you’re mine and only mine. I want the world to know that you’re my girlfriend, and that I love you. I want to show to all the boys who look at you that you’re mine. You’re my girlfriend.”

“A little possessive, don’t you think darling?” You laugh at his smile, and kiss him again.

“Don’t say to me Y/N, that you don’t want to leave a mark on my body letting know to all the girl, the cheerleader and other that I’m yours.” You shift in his arms.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You mumble.

“You think I don’t see the jealousy in your eyes when I shots and Ellia from the cheers can’t stop touching me?”

“It’s not Ellia it’s Hailey.” And you know you fall just right into his trap. “Okay, you’re right Dempsey, maybe I’m a little jealous when a girl can’t stop touching you even if I right here”

“She doesn’t mean a thing to me babe. And it’s okay to be jealous. I am too, when I see you with Clay and Tony talking about things that make you laugh and smile.”

“Most of the time we talked about movies or music. Sometimes about Hannah.” You see how his eyes get lost for a second when he hears her name. “And about Skye too.”

“Skye, the dark weird girl? Who works at Monet’s?”

“Yeah, and she’s not weird. She actually really fun and interesting to talk to. I like her.”

“But why do you talk about her with her other friend.” You don’t respond right away, trying to know if it’s okay to talk about Skye with Zach.

“Babe?” You look back at him and shy a little.

“You can’t tell anyone about it. If Tony or Clay learns about it, they’re going to kill you.”

“I’m not really scared about Jensen babe.”

“It’s funny how you say nothing about Tony.” You smile a little when he hides himself in your neck. “Okay, you see, Clay discover she’s not well, and we think she could be a little depressive. So we try to talk about thing we find in her comportment that could be different before it’s too late.”

“You think she would… Like Hannah..?”He can’t say the word and your heart break a little when you see him like that.

“It’s a possibility; we want to be sure about it. We just trying to know if she keeps hurting herself and it’s freaking me out because if she does that means she could do other things and she became one of my closest friend, who know about you and me by the way.” Zach doesn’t let you finish.

“What? She knows about us? I thought we keep it quiet!”

“Okay, don’t get mad baby, but Tony and Clay know too.”

“You must be kidding me, you tell your friends but I can’t tell to my best friend about you!”

You kiss his lips, just because you want it.

“You can’t tell your best friend, because your best friend is my brother who going to kill every boy who get close to his sister. I doesn’t want to get you kill just because you kiss perfectly.” You wink at him before he gets the chance to pretend he’s hurt by what you said. He kiss you on the cheeks “I should go to see Justin. It’s been almost an hour I’m here, and he going to start asking question.”

           You know he’s right, but you’re incapable to let him go. but before you could kiss him goodbye, someone is beating at your door like maniac.

“Y/N why can’t I come in? Why your door is close? Mom wants to see you and ask you to come downstairs!”

“Two seconds Justin” You screamed back at him, trying to decide where you going to hide your giant boyfriend. You look to the window but it’s raining too hard to let him there for a few minutes without letting him catch a cold or worse and with their big game tonight you just can’t.

“Go to the closet. Hurry, please.”

“Y/N!” Yells your brother behind the door.

“God Justin, I’m coming!” You open the door and look right at him.”What do you want, because we both know mom isn’t here.”

“Why your door is closed in a Saturday morning at ten?” You’re trying to think fast, making up something.

“I was working on your birthday present.”

“My birthday is in four month Y/N…”

“Yeah, I know that dummy. It just I got an idea and I prefer do it right now that being late.”

“Then, can I see it?”

“Like you said, your birthday is in four month. You’re going to have to wait. Thank to stopped by but i would like to continue so if you could, leave.” You’re showing him the door before something bad happen and he discovers Zach.

“Why Zach’s jacket is here?” Yeah, something bad like that.

“Humm, he gives it to me last night.”

“Last night?”

“Hmhmmm.”

“We were together last night Y/N. Playing basketball, and you were at home, studying.”

“But you came home. And I got to bed. But I had a nightmare and go for a walk. He saw me and keeps me company till I was ready to go back to bed.”

“Y/N, you’re always coming to me when you have a nightmare.”

“I know, but you look so peaceful that i couldn’t wake you.”

Okay, you didn’t go for a walk last night, but you did have a nightmare. So you’re not completely lying to your big brother right now.

He give you a hug before he got to the door and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Tell Zach that I’m waiting for him in my room, and, please Y/N don’t hide him in your closet again or he gonna to be stuck in here one day.”

“Yeah, alright Jus’ I will tell him. Wait what?” He smiles at you like you’re the most funny thing he see in his life.

“You have a hickey on your neck and Zach’s car is parked in front of the house since an hour. And yes, we’re going to have a talk about him being your boyfriend and both of you hiding it from me but I’m happy for you guys.”

You look at him, trying to know if it just a joke or if he really just guess the entire thing right.

“How did you know he’s in the closet?”

“Because the door is closed Y/N. And you’re so scared of monsters since you’re a child that you’re incapable to close it. And thank you but I’m not stupid, I perfectly see how you look at each other.” He turns to the closet before adding “Zach, I’m waiting for you in my room. We don’t have all day so hurry up.”

You can hear your boyfriend’s voice telling him he will meet him there before Justin finally leaves your room letting you speechless.

“Look babe, it seems it didn’t turn up so bad. But I’m going to see him and make sure he’s okay with it. See you later.”

You don’t even see Zach leaving because you’re trying to understand how this could have happen in less than three minutes without you seeing it. The next things you do is calling Skye to tell her everything.

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10952487

[thelonerlife-blog]

13 Reasons Why

So in this post, I’ll talk about my opinions of the characters on the show (Not the book since the book didn’t expand so much on the other characters and  there are major I mean MAJOR differences between the book and the show)

SPOILERS BELOW

Worst to best

Bryce: Sick, Rapist, didn’t think what he did was wrong, believed that every girl wanted to be with him, bully, asshole. I need a dictionary to find every single horrible word in the dictionary to describe him.

Mr. Porter: how the hell is he a guidance counselor, told Hannah to move on after she was raped, He didn’t really care about kids being bullied but he only cares about his job, Do you remember how he told Tyler to figure out what he’s doing that makes the kids pick on him. Who fucking tells a bullied kid to do that!! I can write an essay on why I hate him.

Courtney: Only cares about herself, betrayed Hannah, RAPE APOLOGIST, Wanted to hide the fact that she’s gay even though her parents were gay ??, RAPE APOLOGIST, needed to be slapped every time she opened her mouth, fucking liar and further ruined Hannah’s reputation even though she knew that Hannah’s reputation was a fucking lie, RAPE APOLOGIST

Marcus : Only cares about himself, Tried to use Hannah, Would do anything to cover up his ass (like remember what he did with the Clay and the weed ), humiliated Hannah when she rejected him (fucking asshole), scum bag, selfish, he was always trying to stick with Bryce so he could get what he wanted. didn’t believe what he did was wrong

Justin Foley: He started the rumors and slut shaming that happened to Hannah and ruined her first kiss. Didn’t fucking try hard enough to stop Jessica from being raped, brainwashed Jessica to believe that Hannah was a liar, hid behind Bryce Walker, who fucking raped his girlfriend because he needed his money, who lies about someone being raped in order to protect them. The reason he’s under Courtney and Marcus is that he actually told the truth in the end and cut off his ties with Bryce while the other 2 remained shit.

Tyler: creep, stalker,, betrayed Hannah when he said that he deleted all the pics but actually had one and exposed Hannah and invaded her fucking privacy and made her feel like she was no longer safe. H said that clay was the last  one who  got the tapes which was a fucking dick move ; however, Clay shouldn’t have exposed him like that and the others overly bullied him and no one shouldn’t be bullied like that even if he was a creepy stalker and they drove him to insanity like he might shoot the fucking school because he was bullied and when tried looking for help Mr. Porter was a complete asshole to him. He’s still a fucking creep and stalker but it doesn’t make bullying him okay

Jess: a horrible best friend used the rumors and blamed Hannah for something stupid that Alex Standall did, thought Hannah was an attention whore and a liar on the tapes even though everyone else’s stories on the tapes were true on the tape was true, annoyed me with her excessive wildness. Didn’t deserve to get raped. Loved how she didn’t forgive Justin Liar Foley like you go girl and I really hope she gets better and gets her fucking shit together.

Zach: wants to be a marine biologist which is cute af, star basketball player, tried to make Hannah feel better, actually Kept the letter ; however, he actually hangs out with  the wrong people like BRYCE AND JUSTIN even though they are the reincarnations of the devil, makes stupid decisions like steal people’s compliments, tries to hide the tapes which is stupid as Alex Standall described him, “You’re just an entitled idiot who does, cruel stupid things even though you probably have a decent heart”. Also, he ignored Justin Foley who thought of him as his best friend when he needed a place to stay

Ryan: actual asshole, arrogant af, shouldn’t have published Hannah’s poem without her fucking consent even if he believed that it’s good as it’s her fucking thoughts. He betrayed Hannah's trust. However, his replies actually cracked me up when he reminded everyone how Bryce was a rapist and how he called out Courtney for being a rape apologist

Sheri: responsible for my baby Jeff’s death, didn’t report the accident even though Hannah begged her to report it ; however, in the end, she helped the elderly couple and reported herself to the police which was an amazing move, probably the only one on the tapes who wasn’t conspiring against Clay, lowkey shipped her with Clay.

Alex Standall: seriously wrote Hannah as best ass because he wanted to take revenge on Jessica for not having fucking sex with him, ruined his friendship with both of them; however he felt so fucking guilty about it and tried to be better, relatable character, he called out everyone for their shit, wanted for everyone to know the truth and to expose Bryce  for the fucking rapist he is, NOBODY CAUGHT THE SIGNS AND HE TRIED TO FUCKING COMMIT SUICIDE EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNS WERE SO FUCKING CLEAR. I really hope he survives

Clay Jensen: Took too damn long to finish the fucking tapes, his revenge shit was annoying af, problematic, should have been the better person and not exposed tyler, awkward af (even more than me), felt sorry for him when he listened to his tape, shouldn’t have blamed himself for what happened to Hannah, probably the only person who made Clay happy, felt sorry because he lost his best friend and his crush in the same month, actually believed Hannah and didn’t accuse her of being a liar, LOVED IT WHEN HE CONFRONTED BRYCE AND GOT THE 14TH TAPE LIKE THIS WAS SUCH A GREAT SCENE !!!, Loved how he tried to help Skye at the end of the show, really don’t want Tyler to shoot him, was sweet to many people including Jeff’s parents and Hannah's parents

Hannah Baker : a little over-dramatic, anyone who says that she didn’t resist Bryce enough can fucking fight me (yes, people actually say this ), shows you why slut shaming was wrong, really talented poet , didn’t deserve to die this way, needed to know that many people loved her, I was disappointed when the poetry guy told her to come back and that they missed her and she didn’t realize that people actually loved her and needed to survive, a little annoying tbh, she was surrounded by drama, deserved a proper funeral

TONY: was always there for Clay, followed Clay around to make sure he was okay, so sweet when realized that Clay was about to listen to his tape, respected Hannah’s wish, almost risked his relationship for Hannah, he could have actually ignored the whole thing but he didn’t, sweetheart, I loved his mustang, tolerated Clay’s mood swings, was very helpful to the Bakers, gave the tapes to the Bakers when he realized it was the right thing to do

JEFF ATKINS : He was very sweet to the cute little nerdy Clay Jensen, He deserved better, He wanted to get his grades better,  He deserved better, He wanted to help Clay become more social, He deserved better, He talked about Clay really well to his parents, He deserved better , He was a sweetheart, He deserved better , He was adorable, He deserved better, remember when he carried the drunk guy away from Clay and Hannah so they could have fun together, He deserved better , I needed him as a best friend, He deserved better, He didn’t deserve to die, He deserved better, He didn’t deserve to get blamed for drunk driving,   He deserved better, I loved him so fucking much,  He deserved better, He was the only pure soul on the show,  He deserved better

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

12. Does/did your oc ever wish they could change the way they are? Why? If it's in the past, how did they get over the feeling? (this can be about internalized homo/transphobia)

For both Jensen and Bryce... And could I also ask for Cy, too? 👀 If so, maybe a quick 1 and 2 for them as well.

ty for the ask!! i think ill actually answer for cyrus in a different post bc id like to finish up their profile first :)

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

jensen honestly didnt know for a long time. he was aware there was something "off" like he didnt really feel the same way his peers felt, but also he didnt really have the means or time to care or "discover" it? he likes who he likes, and thats about as complex as it went for him. once he was in college he really accepted and realized that he was into other people the same way he was "supposed" to be into girls, so he started actually experimenting more. as for being aspec, i think he figured that out later in med school. he was relatively isolated as far as friendships and relationships went, so he really got to explore that and how it related to him. gender has always been a weird thing for him, and he still doesnt quite know where he stands on it

bryce has always known. hes been kissing boys forever, and there were no fucks given from him. even if his parents discouraged him it never really stopped him, and he still had plenty of boyfriends and other partners through high school, undergrad, and med school. he didnt find out/realize that he was demiro until he was w jensen though. jensen was the first relationship he had where he actually felt,, right? and once he talked to jensen about it, he helped him to find a label that he felt fit (in this fic)

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

jensen can see their purpose but doesnt like them for himself, and bryce likes them but also gets not wanting to use them. jensen will always use "queer" because its easier for him than trying to explain every nuance of his sexuality and gender, and he feels really confined by lables. bryce on the other hand really likes having ways to describe what he is/what feels best for him, and it makes him happy to have a collective sense of belonging/understanding with others who use the same label

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

bryce and jensen are both very open with their identities, though jensen (as per usual) tends to be more reserved about it. theyre both blunt in terms of telling people, and bryce tends to be quicker to share, but jensen usually waits until its relevant. bryce prefers to be blunt about it bc he likes to weed out the people who will be asses, but also it just wouldn't feel right to him to build a relationship where he felt that he couldnt be open about it. he would never want to trap himself in a friendship or any relationship where he had to hide that part of himself. for jensen, hes just not really the type to share anything about himself often. hes the type of person where he will know everything about you, but you know nothing about him, and this definitely applies to that. its just more how he is than anything to do w his identity

12. Does/did your oc ever wish they could change the way they are? Why? If it's in the past, how did they get over the feeling? (this can be about internalized homo/transphobia)

no, not really. bryce and jensen have always been relatively comfortable with who they are, and, even if there were people that thought otherwise, they still knew they were in the right for it. like bryce didnt grow up w accepting parents, jensens mom never talked about stuff like that, but there were so many other issues going on that it wasn't super significant for either of them (bryce a little, but jensen just never worried about it). once they were away from their home environments they were both able to explore more of themselves, and they never really wanted to change any of it