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gilbertandanne · 7 years ago

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Third installment to the Serendipity/Amaranthine universe. How far would you go in order to protect someone you love? WARNING: as with the first two parts in the series, there is an overall trigger warning for abuse (physical, mental, emotional). That, combined with the adult themes in this fic (alcohol, language, situations, etc), are the reason for the rating. Primarily Rucas.

Rating: M

Soundtrack (not at all in order and will be edited as the story progresses)

Word count: 4,778

A/N: This chapter is completely dedicated to my girl @jenn0bi because it’s her birthday tomorrow!! I know I’m a few hours early, Jenn. I hope you don’t mind.

Elysian

Chapter Two: Aphrodite

Aphrodite: Greek goddess of love and beauty

“Thanks again for letting me get showered and everything before our date,” Riley told her boyfriend as they exited her dorm building. She felt more than embarrassed that for some strange reason, Lucas knew that she had overslept this morning. She wasn’t sure how he found out. Maybe Maya told him while she went to their suitemates’ room to borrow some of their sheets to black out the windows or something.

Lucas chuckled. “Well, we had time. I know Maya wanted me to help get your room back to normal, and besides,” he playfully smirked, “You kinda smelled.”

Riley’s mouth fell open before she nudged him. “Oh, you think you’re so funny.”

Lucas laughed. “Sometimes.”

She rolled her eyes despite the grin on her face. “Either way, thank you for helping her out today. I know it wasn’t exactly what you thought you were getting into, but I know she really appreciated it.”

“I’m afraid to see the finished product.” He couldn’t believe that he fell asleep on Riley’s bed like that, even if it was only for about fifteen minutes. The whole situation had to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life, but for some reason, being near her had calmed him to the point where he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep next to her. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised. Riley always seemed to have that effect on him. No matter what situation he was thrown into, as long as she was around, he felt calmer and more at peace with the chaotic world around them.

“Yeah, it was kind of weird, wasn’t it? I feel bad that we fell asleep, but she was gone for a really long time.” Riley yawned. “With finals next week, I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he agreed as he slipped his hand into hers as they strolled through Greenwich Village. “Trying to pack up my dorm room, getting ready for finals, and making sure everything’s taken care of for mom while I’m gone this summer…it’s been a lot to deal with lately.” He glanced at her. “I hate that we haven’t seen much of each other in the last few weeks…aside from astronomy class, that is.”

She smiled warmly at him. “Lucas, I understand. You’re going to be gone for three months. It’s a lot to wrap up on top of finals and moving out of the dorm.” She paused. “I mean, I know that I’m having trouble keeping up with everything, and I’m not even going anywhere.”

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I know. You’re always so understanding about my double life.”

She chuckled. “As long as we’re only talking about splitting time between Texas and New York and not something insane like you having a wife and kids back in Texas.” Her smile faded as her own words ricocheted in her mind. The dream she had that morning came crashing back to her. Was Maya right? Could that be a possibility for them in a few years? They had talked about how much they meant to one another and how they couldn’t see themselves with anyone else, but they hadn’t had any sort of conversation about their future. She always knew that he would have to get his doctorate out of the city, but where would that leave her? She was a theatre major who lived in the best city in the country for aspiring thespians. She couldn’t exactly pick up and leave with him, could she? And what about when he got out of school? Would he be able to get a job in the city or would he have to practice somewhere else? Would he even want to move back to New York? Her brain began to spin as she considered all of the possibilities. ‘Maybe that’s why we haven’t talked about it,’ she reasoned.

He pursed his lips as he tilted his head to the side. “Well, now that you mention it…”

His voice snapped her out of her rapid descent into a thought process she had no desire to contemplate at the moment. She playfully elbowed him. “Not funny, Friar.”

Lucas chuckled. “I thought it was pretty funny.” Funny because of how ridiculous the concept was. He knew that there couldn’t possibly be anyone else for him but the girl whose hand he held as they rounded the corner toward their destination.

Riley looked around them. “Where are we going anyway?”

“It’s a surprise.” Yes, he had been busy trying to get everything in order so he wouldn’t have to worry about anything once he left the city for the summer, but he, along with a few of his best friends, had managed to squeeze out enough time to get everything ready for what Lucas had hoped would be one of their best dates yet.

“Really? Cause it looks like we’re headed to your mom’s apartment building.”

He waited a beat. “That’s because we are.”

Riley laughed. “I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise.”

“Don’t worry. You didn’t.”

“Lucas,” Riley breathed as soon as they stepped out on the rooftop of Lucas’s mom’s apartment building. Riley surveyed the landscape around them. There were lights strung up across the rooftop, which offered a soft glow on the small table in the corner, complete with a white linen tablecloth and picnic basket on top. She noticed a movie screen along the far wall with a bunch of cushions, blankets, and pillows placed in front of it. She turned to her boyfriend as tears glistened her eyes. “Dinner and a movie?”

He nodded as he watched her take in everything around them. He had spent most of the previous night setting up the lights. He wanted to do the whole thing himself, but with the commitment he made to help Maya, he knew that he would need help with the last minute details. As he looked at the rooftop, he had to admit that Zay and Farkle did an incredible job with getting everything else set up. “Do you like it?”

Riley’s mouth fell open as she looked around them once more. How could he even ask her that? This moment felt so surreal. It felt like one of the many dreams she had in the last two years. “Lucas, I love it.”

He offered his hand for her to take. Once she did, he escorted her to the table. “There is take-out from Volare in the basket.”

Riley furrowed her eyebrows. Volare was one of their favorite restaurants, but considering the cost of the food there, it was usually reserved for special occasions and never used as a take out option. “Volare? Volare doesn’t have take-out.”

“I was pretty convincing,” he gestured to the basket on top of the table. “I know you love the spaghetti, so I hope that’s ok. I also asked Sal if they could put some extra garlic bread in there for you. There should also be some popcorn and chocolate for us when we watch the movie.”

Riley remained completely stunned, even as he pulled out her chair for her to sit down. Not only did he get take out from their restaurant, but he also ordered one of her favorite meals, got extra garlic bread for her, and made sure he had her favorite movie snacks ready. She thought that he knew what her favorite things were, they had been together for a few years now, but to put that much thought into a date was beyond anything she could ever hope for. She knew that she should have known better. Lucas was easily the most thoughtful person she had ever met. Of course he would make sure that she had everything she wanted. As she looked at the table in front of her, she silently thanked whatever higher power that brought him into her life in the first place. “Lucas, this is…incredible.” It was an understatement, but at the moment, Riley was thankful that she could form any words.

“I’m really glad you like it,” he said as he sat down across from her. As he pulled all of the food out for their meal, he couldn’t help but to feel extremely grateful for all the help Farkle, Zay, and his mom did to get everything set up for him. He needed the night to be perfect. With everything coming up, he wasn’t sure if they would get much alone time before he left for Texas for the summer. He needed Riley to know how much he loved her and how much he appreciated every second of every day that she was in his life.

Once everything was served, Lucas glanced at her. He wasn’t sure when would be the best time to do this, but ultimately he knew that he wouldn’t be able to think about anything else until he got this off his chest. “Can I say something before we begin?”

She slowly nodded as a small sense of dread formed in the pit of her stomach. Gone was the smile from his face and lightheartedness of his tone. She knew him long enough to know when he was being serious about something, even though she couldn’t remember the last time he was. “Of course.”

Lucas felt the palms of his hands begin to sweat as he looked into her eyes. He cleared his throat as he rubbed his palms against his pants in order to wipe the perspiration off. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? This was his girlfriend, his best friend. He had never been able to open up to anyone like he had with her. They had experienced some really intense conversations in the time that they knew one another. Comparatively, this should be a piece of cake, but still, he felt his heart rate increase as he opened his mouth. “I’m not sure if you know this…or even if you remember it, but two years ago today, we decided to start over…to leave the past where it belonged.”

“After opening night of ‘Much Ado About Nothing’,” Riley practically whispered as her eyes seemed to sparkle under the lights above them. She already felt a rush of tears sting the back of her eyes, and she wasn’t even sure why aside from the fact that the opening night of that play was one of the greatest nights of her life.

“I was scared back then,” he admitted. “I’ve never been that scared in my life…to take a chance on not just us, but on myself again…to trust myself not to hurt you again…to not screw this up again.” He swallowed before he reached across the table to take her hand in his. “Thank you, Riley. Thank you for taking a chance on me again…for…for fighting for us.”

She glanced at the table for a long moment as she tried to compose her thoughts. They never really talked about what happened while they were in high school. Once they started over, once they graduated, they both wanted to put that whole horrible experience behind them. They didn’t want to look back and be reminded of the pain they both had endured. They only wanted a fresh start, a true second chance to be with one another. For him to even mention the senior spring play surprised Riley. “Lucas,” she began as she slowly looked up at him. She didn’t like talking about what happened, but she knew how hard it was for him to say anything about it. She knew that she had to tell him just how much his belief in her meant to her. “You’re the one who didn’t give up. Even when I…after I pushed you away. You stayed. You fought yourself and me…and the world…because you knew that we were worth it.” She squeezed his hand as she smiled softly at him. “Two years later, and I need you to know that I would do anything for you…in order to keep you safe and make you happy.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” he assured her as he interlaced his fingers with hers. “You’ve helped me to become the best possible version of myself by just existing…by simply being alive at the same time as me.”

Her heart fluttered at his words. How lucky was she to be able to be with someone who felt the same way for her as she did for him? “And I’m the best me when I’m with you.” She smiled as she looked down at their joined hands. “Two years. That’s…a long time…especially for people our age, you know?” She was the only person she knew that was still dating the person they went out with in high school. None of her friends from high school or from the drama department at NYU still dated their high school sweethearts.

“I know. I want you to know that I’ve never been happier than I am right now.” He slowly untangled his hand from hers before he reached into the front pocket of his jeans.

Riley’s eyes slowly widened when he pulled out a small black velvet box. A blind panic began to rush through her. She loved the man in front of her with every fiber of her being, but she wasn’t ready for this. She was just trying to get through finals right now. She couldn’t fathom the idea of getting engaged or anything like that right now. Even though she constantly dreamt about the future, and that future always involved Lucas, did it all have to happen now? “Lucas, I…”

He quickly shook his head. She didn’t have to finish that sentence in order for him to know exactly what she thought it was. He knew that they weren’t ready for that step quite yet. He wanted to have a firmer grip on his life. He wanted to be worthy of her before he dared to ask her that particular question. “It’s not what it looks like,” he stated as he opened the box and offered it to her.

Inside was a ring, but it wasn’t the ring itself that immediately hypnotized Riley. It was the stone in the center. She quickly noticed that the stone wasn’t a stone at all. It looked like a rock—a black, shimmering rock that seemed to glisten under the warm Christmas lights above them.

“It’s a meteorite,” Lucas clarified as Riley slowly slid the ring out of the box. He knew it was cheesy, but the moment he saw the ring, he knew he had to get it for her. “I think about that night in Texas a lot…when you opened up to me the first time. It meant everything to me…it still does. Now, every time I look at the sky…whether it’s a warm summer night in Texas with a sky full of stars above me, or a cold winter afternoon here in the city, I think about you. So I thought that you should have a piece of it. I wanted to get you something special…something unique…something that would make you think about me when I wasn’t around, because I need you to know that no matter where I am, whenever I see the sky…any sky…I think about you.” He waited for her to say something. When she didn’t, a wave of panic filled him. Did he mess up? Was this too much honesty? Did she hate the ring? “Do you…like it?”

Riley took a shaky breath as she looked at the rest of the ring. The band that surrounded the shimmering rock was silver. Silver leaves hugged the sides of the meteorite, which made the whole thing look like a rose. It was so unique, so beautiful, and immediately reminded Riley of those deep conversations and stolen moments under the endless star filled sky in Texas. It reminded her of the hill, one of her favorite places on earth. Did she like it?! As Riley looked up at Lucas, tears streamed down her cheeks. It had to be one of the most ridiculous questions he had ever asked her. “Lucas, I love it.” She blinked as more tears escaped from her eyes. “It’s perfect.” She looked back down at the ring. It was gorgeous and the thought behind it immediately made it one of the most valuable things she possessed, but at the same time, he needed to know that it was completely unnecessary. “You know I don’t need this to think about you, right?”

“I know, but I wanted to give you something that would remind you of this moment when I’m gone this summer. I want you to look at it and know that I love you and that I’ve never been so happy in my life. I want you to know that you’re the reason for it all. You’re the reason for everything good in my life, Riley.”

Riley sat the box down before she stood up and walked around the table toward him. When he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, she leaned forward to kiss him. As her lips opened against his, she knew that there weren’t possibly enough words in the English language to convey just how much she was going to miss him over the summer.

Lucas wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her onto his lap. Two years later and he knew he would never get used to the completely euphoric feeling of her lips on his. He smiled against her lips when he heard that breathy sigh that was uniquely Riley. He became convinced a long time ago that everything she did was perfect. Every move, every word, every single sigh of pleasure drove him insane. He was addicted to Riley Matthews, and that addiction only grew with every passing day. He never thought he had the capacity to love anyone this deeply or fully. It scared him at times, but he knew that this was meant to last. He was prepared to do anything for her, and maybe that was the scariest part of all. He’d crush himself if that was what she wanted. He never thought he’d give anyone that much power over him, but all it took was one smile from her to completely placate his fears. Choosing love, chasing love, was easily the best decision he had ever made.

Even though he briefly considered forgetting the meal altogether in order to spend the rest of the night with his arms wrapped around the goddess in his lap, he knew that they needed to do a few other things first. “We…should…probably…eat,” he mumbled against her lips.

Riley considered her options. She knew that if she really wanted to, she could pull him away from the fantastic meal and movie he had planned, but she wasn’t about to be the reason why his plans for the evening got derailed. She knew he had spent hours planning it out and she was determined to enjoy every single second of it. So, she slowly pulled away from him as she looked into his eyes. “I’m really going to miss you this summer.”

“Not nearly as much as I’m going to miss you,” he vowed as he rested his forehead against hers.

After dinner, Riley was certain that there was no way Lucas could top this evening. All of the food was still warm and oh so delicious. They made small talk as they simply enjoyed one another’s company. After Lucas put everything back into the basket, he reached for Riley’s hand before they walked over to the pallet of cushions and pillows in front of the screen. Riley grabbed a few blankets and the snacks while Lucas got the movie set up.

When the movie started, Riley thought for sure that she was going to cry again. She thought their walk down memory lane had ended, but the moment the movie started, she realized that he had curated the whole evening for them to remember the fact that they did have some amazing moments together while they were in high school.

Throughout the first thirty minutes of the movie, she couldn’t even concentrate on the screen in front of her. Out of every movie he could have picked, he picked “Romeo and Juliet”. He had set up this beautiful date. He managed to get take out from one of her favorite restaurants in the city. He chose to watch a film adaptation of the play that first brought them together.

Lucas had surprised her so many times in the three and a half years that she had known him, but this entire evening was so thoughtful, so romantic, so uniquely Lucas. She knew that part of the reason was to celebrate the second anniversary of their second chance, but she also knew it was his way of making it up to her for not being around this summer. She assured him last year and the year before that she completely understood why he went to Texas in the summer. He wanted to help his grandfather with the farm. He wanted to have a real relationship with his father. Riley knew that he needed that, and if he could reconnect with his father because of it, who was she to stop him?

She was going to miss him more than words could ever possibly say, but she had the week of July 4th to look forward to. Besides, between her theater class and apartment hunting this summer, she was going to have plenty to keep her busy.

She blinked several times as she tried to focus on the screen in front of them. She didn’t have to think about him leaving just yet, and wanted to enjoy this moment with him. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips when the party scene began. She had watched several versions of Shakespeare’s tragedy, but this version of “Romeo and Juliet” with Leonardo DiCaprio and Clare Danes had to be her favorite. There was something about their chemistry, the fire that always simmered between them that reminded Riley of their junior play. She leaned forward as the fictional world before her began to completely captivate her.

Lucas had maybe watched five seconds of the entire movie so far. His entire focus rested on the girl who, up until a moment ago, was completely relaxed in his arms. He hated to loosen his grip on her, but he loved how enthralled she always seemed by this play. He wondered if her love for it always existed, or if her fondness for it grew after they played the title characters their junior year of high school.

Lucas watched her for another moment before he sat up to whisper in her ear, “’If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this.’” He ran the back of his fingers down her bare arm as he reached for her right hand. He lifted it to his lips before he echoed Romeo’s on-screen dialogue. “’My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.’”

Riley swallowed as she turned away from the movie long enough to see her boyfriend’s lips lightly brush against her knuckles. She was immediately transported back to the opening night of their junior play. She remembered how scared she was to kiss him that night because she was afraid that everything she had been feeling for him would actually be real. Deep down, she knew that it wouldn’t be Juliet kissing her Romeo. It would be Riley Matthews kissing Lucas Friar, the guy she had felt a connection to long before they ever met.

She was so lost in her reverie that she missed her first opportunity to play along with Lucas and recite the dialogue she had memorized years ago.

Lucas smirked as he lightly brushed her knuckles with the fingers of his free hand. “’Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?’”

She was still completely frozen in place. Quite often over the last three and a half years, she had to ask herself if the guy in front of her actually existed. How could she possibly be so lucky as to have been able to get a second chance with him? He always treated her so sweetly, so lovingly. Despite his past, despite all of the adversity he went through with his family and his life back in Texas, he became the most wonderful and caring man she had ever known. Before him, she wasn’t sure she could have a love like her parents did. It seemed impossible, but here she sat, with someone that she would do absolutely anything for, without hesitation.

She turned her head back to the screen. Maybe Shakespeare got it wrong. Maybe Romeo and Juliet could have—and should have—had a happy ending? Wouldn’t that be a more effective love story? To have a couple who defied all the odds to be together, who managed to forge two enemy households together by their love? To be able to show how powerful love could be would be a true love story, wouldn’t it?

Lucas leaned in closer to his girlfriend as he brushed Riley’s hair to the side. “’O, then, dear saint’,” he began softly, “’let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant though, lest faith turn to despair.’” He lowered his lips to the base of her neck as he began to slowly plant open-mouthed kisses there.

Riley’s heart began to race the second she felt his lips on her neck. She slowly tilted her head to the side to offer him better access to the one of the most sensitive parts of her neck. She thought for sure that she would be unable to utter a word when he wrapped his arms around her as he continued his ministrations, but for some strange reason, she finally found her voice. “’Saints do not move,” she breathed, “though grant for prayer’s sake.’”

Lucas smiled against her neck before he lifted his head. His green eyes met her brown ones as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “’Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.’” As he slowly closed the space between them, he heard it again. Just like that opening night, as he inched closer to her lips, he heard her sharp intake of breath. He smiled at the sound. Just like that night over three years ago, he knew what that little gasp meant: she was anticipating this moment just as much as he was.

As his lips brushed gently against hers, Riley lifted her hand to softly caress his cheek. She could feel the tears rise up once again, but she quickly forced them back down. She didn’t want to ruin the moment by blubbering at how incredible this night had been. No, all she wanted to do was to show him just how much she loved him. They had come so far since the first time they uttered Shakespeare’s words to one another. So much so, that sometimes the whole play felt like another one of her dreams. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, she knew that this had to be real, despite the fact that there was something so incredibly surreal about the soft movement of his lips against hers.

As Lucas gently pulled Riley closer to him, he secretly delighted in the fact that she still trembled against his touch. He loved it because he knew that he reacted the exact same way whenever she was around. Just like the opening night of the play, he knew that he could completely melt into the woman before him. He had been so scared at the time to let her in, to give her a piece of him that he never thought he would give to anyone else, but here they were—three years later and he knew that she now possessed every single fragment of his being.

Yes, it was scary for him to admit that to himself. They had gone through so much to get to this moment, but as she began to kiss along his jawline, he knew that all of the pain they went through had been worth it. He wasn’t sure what he believed in when he first met her, but as he slowly leaned her back against the pallet of pillows and blankets underneath them, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that they were meant to be together—now and for always.

#ouat2011 fic #rucas #rucas fic #*elysian*#riley x lucas #lucas x riley #rucas fanfic #rucas fanfiction #liley fic #hopefulforus #karaa-danverss #jenn0bi #iwantyoutochooseme #spamiam77 #simply-rucas

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gilbertandanne · 8 years ago

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Partition

A/N: Takes place two years before the events in ‘Crash Course’, so you don’t have to read it to understand what’s going on. I tried to interlace some plot points revealed in CC and it’s sequel, Infinite, but again, you don’t have to read them to understand what’s going on.

Song: ‘Partition’ by Queen B

Pairing: Rucas with brief mentions of J/M and F/S

Rated: M

Word Count: 14,221 (I still don’t know HOW it ended up this long)

Totally dedicating this one to @jenn0bi bc without her calling me out on not using this song (after I promised), this would never have been written. I *really* hope you like it, Jenn. <3

Maya groaned as she cradled her phone between her ear and her shoulder. She hated it when he made sense. The most annoying part of it was that her boyfriend always made sense—especially when it came to the subject of his niece. “It’s been two years,” she reasoned as she reached for her concealer.

“Yeah, but we both know that she’s different now. She’s not the same person she was in high school. She’s not the same person she was since they broke up.”

Maya cringed. She hated it when he used her words against her. “But it’s Farkle’s birthday.”

“I know. And I know she’ll be there and try to not let it affect her, but Maya, we still don’t know the whole story. We don’t know who broke up with who.”

“There are going to be a ton of people there,” she reasoned. “Maybe they won’t even cross paths? Maybe she’s doing better than we think she is? Maybe…maybe she is over it?” She looked down at the counter as she quickly debated on which eye shadow to use. “She has been dating around…and has gone on like four dates with this new guy.”

Josh frowned. “Really? Who is he?”

She frowned. Nothing she had was going to work with her dress. “Uhhh…Caleb, I think? I only met him once.”

“Is he coming tonight?”

She sighed. The good thing about living with her best friend was that she was welcome to borrow her things—including her makeup. “I think so. He’s friends with Farkle too. That’s how she met him.”

“Then maybe we only need to worry about Lucas?”

Maya scoffed. “You can worry about Lucas.”

“Come on, Maya. I know you still talk to him.”

“Maybe I do, but when it comes to break ups, us girls have to stick together.”

Riley took a deep breath as she examined her appearance. Was she actually going to do this? Was she going to willingly go somewhere she knew he would be? There were only two reasons that kept her from changing into her sweatpants and spending some much needed time with her Netflix: the first was because it was one of her best friends’ 21st birthdays and the second was because she had a date. That should be enough of a buffer, right? Surely, they won’t end up in a tangled heap on her bed, like every other time she’s seen him since he left for Texas two years ago?

Would that be so bad though? She had only ever been intimate with one person in her life, and that one person knew exactly where to touch her to send her to the peak of pleasure. He knew the deal just as well as she did. They agreed that it was only physical—that the feelings they once shared no longer existed.

Two years, and Riley Matthews lived happily in the land of denial.

But what about Caleb—her actual date for the evening? He was supposed to be her distraction, her way of forcing herself to move on from the toxic non-relationship relationship she found herself in with her ex-boyfriend. He was a nice guy. They got along great and had a lot in common. There was only one problem—he wasn’t Lucas.

“Stop it,” she growled at herself before she brushed her hair out of her eyes. No, Caleb wasn’t Lucas, but that didn’t mean that there couldn’t be something between them. It wasn’t fair to compare eight years of history to four dates, but she had very little else to compare it to. She never made it past the second date before, and with this guy, she had already doubled that landmark. She needed to see where this could go. She needed to end this cycle with Lucas.

She needed to move on.

//See me up in the club with fifty-eleven girls Posted in the back, diamond fangs in my grill Brooklyn brim with my eyes sitting low Every boy in here with me got that smoke//

The lights were dimmed, the drinks flowed, and everyone was dressed to the nine’s. As soon as Riley stepped foot into the ballroom, she felt like she had walked straight into a Fitzgerald novel. His parents spared no expense to celebrate the first 21 years of their brilliant son’s life. There was a jazz band at the front of the room, an open bar along the back wall, and a massive dance floor in the middle of it all.

“Riley,” she heard the man of the hour call out to her.

She spun around as a warm smile graced her features. “Well, if it isn’t the birthday boy.” She opened her arms as she hugged one of her best friends in the world. “Happy Birthday, Farkle.”

“Thank you,” he smiled as he pulled back from her. “Where’s Maya?”

“She went to pick up Josh. You know her…fashionably late and always wanting to make an entrance.”

“So, they’re finally going public, huh?”

Riley nodded. “The real question is when did they actually start dating?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Farkle. She hasn’t dated anyone in the last two years. You can’t tell me they weren’t sneaking around.”

He wrinkled his nose. “You really think she’d do that?”

Riley glanced around the room. “Yeah. I mean…if she thought people would disapprove or condemn her for it…why wouldn’t she keep it a secret?”

He shook his head. “I can’t imagine doing anything like that. If I was with someone I cared about…someone I loved…I’d proclaim it from the balcony of this place.”

Riley gave him a half smile. ‘Of course you would,’ she lamented. “Where is Smackle?”

He turned around as he surveyed the ballroom. “Somewhere in the crowd,” he chuckled. “I want to thank you for coming tonight.”

She knit her eyebrows together. Why would he thank her for attending his party? “Thank me? It’s your birthday.”

He nodded. “I know, but I also know that you haven’t seen…you know…since he left for Texas.”

She slowly nodded before she released a deep breath. “Yeah. Well…that’s what the open bar is for, right?”

He frowned. “But you aren’t—“

She pinned him with a look. Was he really going to stop her from grabbing a few drinks? True, she still had about eight months to go until her own 21st, but this was a party. She was determined to celebrate with her friends. “Speaking of…is he…here yet?” While she tried to sound as nonchalant as she could, it felt like her heart had done a back flip.

Farkle glanced around the ballroom once more. “I’m not sure. I haven’t seen him.” He paused. “I thought Caleb was bringing you?”

“We thought it would be easier if we met up here. Kind of take some of the pressure off.”

Farkle nodded. “He’s a good guy, Riley.”

“I know,” she smiled.

Farkle watched her for a moment as her eyes lowered to the ground. He had no idea what happened between Riley and Lucas in Europe two years earlier, but whatever happened must have been really awful. Neither of them ever talked about it, and they always seemed to shut down at the mere mention of the other. To his knowledge, neither of them had yet to engage in another romantic relationship. “You don’t have to force it you know.” When her head snapped up, he gave her a small smile. “We just want you to be happy.”

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“The bar is open…no ID required, but if you do drink, please use the chauffeur service my parents set up in the lobby. Limousines for all my guests to get home safely.”

Riley’s eyes widened. “Limos?”

He nodded. “It’s not every day that their only child turns 21.”

She laughed lightly. “In that case, how about we share a celebratory drink in your honor?”

//Every girl in here got to look me up and down All on Instagram, cake by the pound Circulate the image every time I come around G's up, tell me how I'm looking babe//

One drink turned into two, then three. She felt numb. She felt nothing. It was exactly where she wanted to be if she was forced to come face to face with him in front of a crowd of people. She had been there for nearly an hour and a half by the time she finished her fourth drink. Caleb had showed up around drink number three, and whenever they weren’t around the bar with Josh and Maya, they were on the dance floor.

To everyone else, she looked like a woman who didn’t have a care in the world. Despite the numbness, the anxiety she felt in the pit of her stomach grew more and more as the minutes droned on. At any moment, he would walk in. At any moment, she would become completely undone. In front of all her friends, she knew she would have a complete meltdown. She wasn’t over him. She had convinced herself that she was—she had to in order to survive. She broke up with him. She refused him. She had no right to still love him. She had no right to still dream about him. And she definitely didn’t have a right to want him to be next to her every single second for the rest of her life.

God, she was a terrible person. In front of her was a perfectly nice guy. Caleb was everything she could ever want, but all she could think about was the missing Texan.

As Caleb twirled her around on the dance floor, something in the doorway caught her eye. Her head lifted just as he walked in. Her heart raced as his eyes immediately locked onto hers.

He came.

For the first time since their breakup, they were in the same place and completely surrounded by their curious friends.

Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t stomach the idea of seeing him like this. She wasn’t ready. It was hard enough to keep her secret from her friends when he wasn’t in town. There was no way she could spend the next few hours with him in the same room and pretend that they weren’t what they were—friends with benefits without the friend part.

She suddenly stood rigid as she felt the color drain from her face. “I-I-‘m sorry,” she apologized to her date. “I think I had too much. I need…I need to go home…lay down.”

“That’s ok,” Caleb assured her. “I’ll go with you…make sure you get home safely.”

“No,” she gave him a small smile. He was such a nice guy—far nicer than she ever deserved. “That’s ok, Caleb. Farkle has this car service for everyone. I’m just…going to use that and go home. Stay. Have fun.” She looked around the ballroom. “It’s a great party.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Absolutely. I’m just need to go lay down. I’m not…I’m not going to be good company. Besides…I need someone to tell me everything that happens.”

He smiled. “You got it.”

//Boy this all for you just walk my way Just tell me how it's looking babe Just tell me how it's looking babe (How it's looking babe)//

She escaped the ballroom through the only other exit as quickly as her legs could carry her. She had to go home. She had to leave and avoid him completely. She was weak. She knew it. One look from him and she was about to fall apart. They had carried on this ridiculous non-relationship relationship for a while now. They didn’t speak when he was in Texas, but whenever he was in the city, their paths always crossed, and when they did, she couldn’t resist him. She never could, except for Paris.

Why couldn’t she be that strong now? Why couldn’t she look him in the eye and tell him that what they were doing was wrong and that it was only going to cause a greater rift between them in the end? She wanted him in her life, but as they were now, he was only in her life when he was in her bed—or his bed at his parents’ place—or her couch—or the kitchen counter at her parents’ apartment—or a few other places.

She shook her head as she chased the thought of them tangled up together out of her mind. She had to be strong, or as strong as she could be at the moment. That meant fleeing. That meant bailing on one of her best friends’ birthdays. There were easily 200 people in that ballroom, but in that split second when her eyes landed on his, only two people existed.

It was too intense, especially considering the fact that she was insanely inebriated. Little Riley Matthews, who rarely did anything wrong, was drunk and running away from her ex-boyfriend/current affair. If only her thirteen year old self could see her now.

She sprinted through the lobby as she made her way outside. She had forgotten her jacket, but there was no way she would dare go back inside. She spotted a valet outside and quickly told him that she was at the Minkus party but needed a ride home.

Her fingers tapped against her clutch as she waited for her ride. It felt like an eternity had passed by the time a limousine pulled up in front of her. She smiled at the elderly driver as he stepped out of the limo to open the door for her. “Thank you,” she said as she walked toward the door.

“Riley,” a voice called out from behind her.

She froze as she gripped the door. She closed her eyes as she quickly assessed her options. She could climb in the limo, pretend that she hadn’t heard him, go home, and sleep…or…she could face him and get this over with. She took a deep breath as she turned around to face him. God, even under the bright lights of the city she loved, he looked positively god-like. She was never able to resist him, but there was something about Lucas Friar in a suit that always drove her crazy. She swallowed as her eyes slowly took in his appearance.

“Miss,” the limo driver questioned as he waited to close the door behind his passenger.

Riley smiled at the driver as she gave him the address to the apartment she shared with Maya. “I can get the door,” she kindly told him. She waited until he slid into the driver’s seat and shut the door before she dared to look at Lucas once more.

“Where are you going?” It was a pathetic question, he knew it, but he wasn’t sure what else to say. She was the first person he saw as he entered the ballroom. She looked like a vision in red, but unfortunately for him, she was twirling around on the dance floor with someone who wasn’t him. ‘Because you aren’t together,’ he bitterly reminded himself as he engaged in what felt like an hour-long staring match with the girl he had once been able to call his own.

When she left the ballroom, he followed her. Farkle was one of his best friends, but Riley was—everything. One of the biggest reasons he decided to fly in for the night was on the off chance that he would be able to see her, maybe even talk to her. Their current relationship status, or lack thereof, was driving him to the brink of madness. He wanted her—not just her body—but all of her. He wanted to be hers and he wanted her to be his again. His world hadn’t felt like his world since that ill-fated trip to Europe. All he wanted was to wake up from this nightmare and move forward with the girl who had captured his heart nearly a decade ago.

“Home,” she said simply as her heart pounded. She smacked her palm against the door as she bit her bottom lip. She knew she shouldn’t. She knew that nothing good was going to come from it, but there was something about him that she had never been able to resist. She wanted to blame the alcohol for her weakness, but even in her bewildered state, she knew it wasn’t that. It was him. He was her weakness.

She finally pushed the door open. “Coming?”

//I do this all for you baby just take aim And tell me how it's looking babe (How it's looking babe) Tell me how it's looking babe, looking babe//

She briefly closed her eyes when she heard the door shut. She was going to hell. She knew it. This was insane. She left the party to avoid him, and now, he was going to go back to her apartment with her? She swallowed before she opened her eyes. As the limo pulled away from the curb, she looked around the spacious car. “Pretty nice, huh,” she commented.

“Yeah,” he released a breath. “Farkle’s parents set this up too?”

She nodded. “That way everyone can get home safely.”

He looked at her. “Why did you leave so early?”

She glanced out the window. “I wasn’t feeling well.” Her eyes fell to her lap.

“You seemed to be doing fine when I saw you…dancing around with…”

“Caleb.” She slowly turned to him. “That was Caleb.”

Lucas’s lips formed a thin line as he debated his next question. He had to ask. He had to know. “Boyfriend?”

Riley shook her head. “We’ve been out a few times. Nothing…serious.”

“Do you want there to be anything serious?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s nice. He’s friends with Farkle. He’s…everything a girl could want.”

Lucas nodded. “Looks like it.” He paused. “So, if he’s Mr. Perfect, then why isn’t he in here with you?”

Riley knew that this was wrong. She knew that she should give Lucas some stupid reason and use Caleb as an excuse to end things, but she couldn’t. She felt like a moth drown to the flame, and it had been four months since she last saw him at Christmas. Four months since the last time he was in her bed.

Four months too long.

She didn’t answer him as she slowly raked her eyes over his body. She allowed the alcohol to overtake her, to quiet the annoying voice in her head that screamed at her that this wasn’t right. She didn’t want to think. She could think tomorrow. Right now, tonight, she wanted to feel. She wanted to feel something that she had only ever felt with him.

Riley slowly lifted her hand before she placed it on his thigh. She knew what she was inviting in. She knew that Pandora’s box had suddenly flown open, but she didn’t care. Lucas Friar was sitting next to her, and all she wanted was to feel him inside of her.

He was jealous. Knowing that the guy who spun her around on the dance floor was also someone she had gone on multiple dates with made him more than a little hot under the collar. He knew he had no say in who she dated, but God, did he want one. He wanted to keep her. He wanted her.

As soon as her fingers grazed his thigh, he became undone. The woman next to him completely possessed all of his senses. He knew that this wouldn’t end well, but what he wouldn’t give for one more taste of heaven—of the goddess who haunted every dream he had since the day they met. “How long…until we reach your place?”

She blinked. “It took me half an hour to get here. Considering the traffic…maybe forty five minutes?”

He slowly inched closer to her before he ran his index finger along her cheek. “Say it,” his suddenly hoarse voice pleaded with her as his hand cupped the side of her face. “Tell me you want me.”

She watched his eyes darken as he commanded her to tell him the truth. “I want you,” she found herself answering as she closed the remaining space between them.

He moved his hand to the back of her neck before his lips met hers in a searing kiss.

//Drop the bass, mane, the bass get lower Radio say "speed it up", I just go slower High like treble, pumping on the mids Ya man ain't ever seen a booty like this//

As soon as she felt his lips on hers, everything else melted away. It was part of the reason why she felt so intoxicated by him. With every touch, every kiss, every lustful whisper, they were transported to a place where time, space, and everything else that kept them apart didn’t exist. They simple were. They merely existed to show one another just how perfectly well they fit together.

Riley opened her mouth against his as she eagerly invited his tongue to re-familiarize itself with hers. Her hands gripped his forearms as he cupped her face in his hands. She knew this wasn’t right. She knew that they were in a limo and that they could get caught doing whatever it was they were about to do, but she didn’t care. She had been forced to be away from his touch for the last several months. She didn’t want to sit in awkward silence for the next forty-five minutes while she could be re-familiarizing herself with every square inch of his muscular body.

She quickly slid his jacket down his arms. Lucas broke away from her lips long enough to toss it to the other side of the limousine. This wasn’t them—at least not completely. Three years ago, he never thought they would be well on their way to fulfilling a stereotype about limousines, but three years ago, he never imagined that they wouldn’t be together. She had changed a lot in the last two years. She was more serious now. They didn’t talk about much when they were together. Somehow, they both thought it would be easier. For him, it certainly was. He knew that, given the opportunity, he would beg her to take him back, to forget about that trip after graduation.

After she slid his tie off, he quickly unbuttoned his shirt. He was grateful for the fact that he thought to take her ring—the engagement ring that he wore around his neck—off before he left his parents’ house. If she ever saw it, if she knew that he wore it like a chain around his neck for all to see his ultimate failure, she would never speak to him again. He couldn’t help but wear it though. In some demented, self-deprecating way, it made him feel closer to her while he lived two thousand miles away.

As he slid the white shirt down his arms, he watched her scoot closer to him before she quickly pulled his undershirt off. She then lowered her head in order to plant kisses across his bare chest. He closed his eyes as he leaned his head back. What he wouldn’t give to know that this was real. He knew he had to put it out of his mind. He knew that he had to forget, for a little while, that the heavenly creature beside him not only possessed his heart, but his mind, body, and soul as well.

His mind nearly exploded when she slowly sank to the ground in front of him.

//And why you think ya keep my name rolling off the tongue Cuz when he wanna smash I'll just write another one I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor//

She had to forget that he still had the capacity to rip her heart to shreds. She had to forget that she left Farkle’s party to avoid this exact situation. She wanted the alcohol to wipe away every shred of feeling she had for the man who sat in front of her. It would be easier that way.

She bit her bottom lip as she pushed every angst-filled thought away. She could chastise herself for being weak later. Right now, he was half naked in front of her. He really was built like a Greek god. Had he been working out? The muscles in his chest seemed more defined than the last time she saw him. She was beginning to think of him like a fine wine—only getting better with age.

It was the opposite of what she had hoped for. She hoped that they would outgrow whatever this was. She hoped that one day she would wake up and not love him. It had been almost two years since she broke up with him, but here she was—kneeling in front of him—completely in awe of every square inch of him.

She scooted closer as her hands reached for his belt.

As she reached her arms out, he did as well. He didn’t want her to kneel in front of him—at least, not yet. He wanted to be inside of her. He wanted to send them both to the peak of ecstasy. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to become completely lost inside of her. He wanted to hear that melodic moan—the one that had haunted him since their last encounter.

Riley pulled back from him as he reached for her. “No,” she commanded.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “No?”

She shook her head. “You climbed into my limo, remember? Pretty sure that means I get to make the rules.”

“Riley,” he groaned, “You don’t have to—“

Her eyes darkened. “I want to.”

“Well, I want to be inside you. I want to taste you.”

//Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor//

She placed her hands behind her as she leaned back on the floor of the limousine. Her head slowly rolled to the side as she stared at him. “How about this,” she slowly drawled out as the four drinks she pounded earlier began to take effect. The old Riley Matthews would never discuss sex as freely and as plainly as she was about to, but she wasn’t the old Riley. She hadn’t been the old Riley since she got back from Europe two years ago.

He watched as she slowly stretched back. The act may have seemed innocent enough at the time, but while her body moved back, her dress remained stagnant. He licked his lips as he was graced with the sight of her cleavage. How was this fair? He was only half dressed while she hadn’t so much as taken her shoes off. “I’m listening,” he finally murmured.

//Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor//

“I get what I want on the way to my place…and when we get there…you get what you want.” Her eyes slowly lowered from his own eyes, down his chest and finally toward his crotch. She slowly rolled her head to the other side as lifted her eyes back up to his. She was completely inexperienced when it came to the art of seduction, but those drinks at least gave her the illusion that she was doing something right.

“Or,” he countered as he slowly leaned forward, “I get what I want now…take you to a place you’ve never been before…and when we get to your apartment,” his eyes slowly roamed down her body, “you beg me to do it all over again.”

//Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor Like like liquor, like like like liquor//

Riley slowly inhaled as she watched him inch closer and closer to her. His eyes had locked onto hers, and she couldn’t make herself look away. She took several shallow breaths as he slowly sank to the floor and straddled her. As he slowly leaned forward, her breath completely caught in her throat.

He placed his hands on either side of her as his lips inched toward hers. He was tired of the space in between them. He had to deal with it 99% of the time. He was going to be damned if he would allow it while they were alone together.

He lowered his eyes to her lips as his face drew closer to hers. “Do we have a deal,” he rumbled before his lips lightly brushed against hers.

//Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor//

She closed her eyes at the contact. God, he was much better at the whole seduction thing than she was. As he slowly nibbled on her bottom lip, she felt herself beginning to cave in. Did it really matter who was in control? All she wanted to do was lose herself in him. All she wanted was to pretend that her entire life wasn’t completely screwed up.

Lucas couldn’t stop the smile that formed when he heard a soft moan escape her as he lightly ran his tongue across her bottom lip. She tasted like vodka, and he hated it. He hated that she had been drinking. He wasn’t going to ask how much. He knew if he did, that it would all be over. As much as he wanted her, he wasn’t in it strictly for the sex. He was in it to keep some kind of connection with her. He hoped that one of these rendezvouses would result in their reconciliation. He hoped that, maybe one day, he would be able to possess her heart just as she had always possessed his.

For now, he had to accept their relationship for what it was—and that meant ignoring the vodka on her lips.

//Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor//

A shiver shot down her spine as his tongue slowly tasted her lips. Could he taste the alcohol she had drank? Did he know how drunk she was? Did he care?

No. She wasn’t about to allow her train of thought to stray from the intensity of the moment they were engaged in. Her temporary restoration to reality made her realize that she wanted to be in control—at least for a while. She wanted the power to administer, or withhold, pleasure from him. She wanted to dominate him—just as he dominated most of her thoughts.

She nudged him back as she turned her head to the side. When he sat back on his heels, she turned to him once more. “No deal,” she purred. “You can either sit back up in that seat and experience the best,” her eyes lowered to his crotch for a beat before she looked back up at him, “Or we can sit on opposite sides of this limousine until I get home, and then you can go back to the party.”

He took a deep breath. “That’s not fair.”

She smirked. “You won’t think that if you agree to the terms…trust me.”

//Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor Like like liquor, like like like liquor//

She sat up as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Well,” she asked softly before she touched her lips with her index finger. “Do we have a deal?”

He had no other choice. He’d be her willing slave if she asked him to. “You get a say now, and I get a say later?”

She nodded. “And don’t worry…I’ve got the place to myself for the entire night.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

She nodded. “So, what’s it going to be, Friar?”

//Driver, roll up the partition, please Driver, roll up the partition, please I don't need you seeing 'Yoncé on her knees//

“You’re so going to pay for that,” he told her as he slowly rose and sat back in the seat.

Riley smirked as she leaned forward and began to unbuckle his pants. “Promises, promises.” She unzipped his pants and slid them down while Lucas kicked his shoes off. Riley took his pants off and tossed them in the direction of the rest of his discarded clothing. She tilted her head to the side as she briefly admired the sight of him clad only in a pair of black boxers. ‘He could totally be an underwear model,’ she mused as she hooked her fingers underneath the band of the last remaining garment he wore. Slowly, almost painfully so, she slid his underwear down. She sat it next to her before she slid in between his legs.

She knew that they didn’t have long before they reached her apartment. She knew that he ended up with the better deal, but about six months ago, she had a dream about Lucas Friar that she hadn’t quite been able to rid herself of—and it started out a lot like this.

She slowly looked up into his curious eyes. As she lowered her head, she maintained eye contact with him. She wanted to see his pleasure. She wanted to know that she had some control over him—at least for a little while.

She placed her left hand on his thigh while her right hand hovered over his penis. She slowly ran her index finger down the length of his shaft. When he jumped at the contact, she knew that she had the potential to affect him just as deeply as he affected her. She smiled as she watched him slowly relax as she ran her fingers over him once more.

While his body may have relaxed against her touch, his mind nearly exploded. What was she thinking? What did she want to do so badly that she had to resort to threats to get him to acquiesce to her desire to take charge? All he wanted was to reach for her, pull her close, and bury himself inside of her. Screw the outside world. Screw the last two years. Screw everything that made her keep him at arm’s length. What if he moved back home? Would that solve everything or would that only push her further away?

He closed his eyes and hissed as her hand wrapped around his aching erection. She was teasing him. She had to know that she was driving him insane. God, it was taking everything in him not to reach for her, to beg her to return to him.

//Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up We ain't even gonna make it to this club//

When he closed his eyes, Riley felt a warmness spread through her. He was enjoying this, and she had barely started. A surge of confidence shot through her as she lowered her lips to his throbbing member. Her tongue darted out as she stared at the man before her.

Lucas moaned as soon as he felt her tongue slide over him. This wasn’t the first time she had ever gone down on him, but he had forgotten just how intoxicating the sensation was. He felt completely paralyzed as she wrapped her lips around the head of his penis. He took a deep breath as she slowly slid his length between the heavenly gates of her lips.

With every inch she took in, she could feel the control she had over him. It was empowering to know that she could do whatever she wanted to him in that moment and would comply. While she was the one who rejected him, the one who ended it, she often felt like she was the one who was held captive in their new ‘relationship’. She couldn’t explain the feeling, except for the conclusion she had reached, and then tried to bury, nearly nine months earlier—that she was still in love with him.

//Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged Oh he so horny, yeah he want to fuck He popped all my buttons, and he ripped my blouse He Monica Lewinsky-ed all on my gown//

She clenched her fists as she finally took him completely in her mouth. She wasn’t going to get emotional with him. Not now. She could lament the absurdity of her life once he left the city. For now, she only wanted to give, and receive, pleasure from the only person she had ever experienced it from. She focused on the task at hand as she began to bob her head up and down. She wanted to fully give into whatever they had become. She didn’t want to think about the consequences. She only wanted to feel. She wanted him to beg for her. She wanted him to need her just as much as she needed him. Everything else would either fade or work itself out over time.

Lucas gripped the seat as he leaned his head back. He had to keep his mind focused on the most revolting things to keep himself from exploding as she continued to lick and suck him. He thought about cold showers, the starting lineup of the Yankees, even the ill-fated trip to Europe—all to no avail. She had been moving against him for only a few minutes, but he was almost at that pivotal point.

She must have sensed it because right at the point of release, she detached her lips from his shaft. “You ok,” she panted as she watched him slowly lower his head to look at her.

“Y-Yeah,” he stammered before he cleared his throat. “More than ok. You?”

“Not as good as you,” she said softly as she slowly stood up. She placed her legs on either side of him as she straddled him. “But,” she whispered as she lowered her head to his neck, “I’m pretty sure I can get there…with your help.”

Lucas swallowed as her lips connected with the base of his neck. His hands moved to her back as he desperately sought contact with her skin. He was still willing to let her control what would or would not happen in the limo, because he knew as soon as they entered her apartment, it would be his turn to dictate who received what and when.

“That feels good,” she purred in his ear. “I love it when you touch me.” She leaned back. “Even if it’s somewhere completely innocent…like my back or my arms.”

He swallowed as his eyes met hers. Was he losing his mind or did he see a flash of something more in her lust-filled gaze? What did she mean? Did she miss him as much as he missed her? Did she miss them? Did she want something more than what they had been reduced to? “Well,” he began as his lowered his hand to the hem of her dress. “I am more than willing to touch you wherever you want me to.”

Riley lowered her gaze as she watched him slowly slide her dress up as his hands glided up her thighs. Her heart raced as his fingers grazed the outside of her underwear. “And you can,” her voice quivered slightly as she looked back at him, “when it’s your turn.”

“Aw, come on, Riles,” he smirked, “You know you want me inside you just as badly as I want to be inside you.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Mmm…I feel how badly you want to be inside of me.”

His hand slowly slid over in between her legs. He gave her a wolfish grin as soon as he felt the moisture between her thighs. “So do I,” he practically snarled as he ran his thumb over the outside of the thin material.

“Ravish me,” she commanded as she buried her head in the side of his neck. “Show me, Lucas. I want to know how badly you want me.”

He needed no other invitation. He quickly gripped the band of her underwear and with one pull, the lacy material ripped. He quickly discarded it before he slid her closer to him. In one fluid motion, he filled her.

//Oh there daddy, daddy didn’t bring the towel Oh baby baby we betta slow it down Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up We ain't even gonna make it to this club//

They remained still for a few moments as the simply took in the moment. They were finally one—they were finally connected again. They both felt like they could finally breathe for the first time in months. They both felt like the chaotic world that surrounded them finally made sense. It felt like coming home.

He gripped her hips as she slowly began to rock back and forth. He was content enough to let her control their pace—for the moment. He knew she wanted to control the ride, so he was determined to allow her to do that, despite her pleas for him to take over. He knew he had time to do that—once they got into her apartment.

Her hand slid across his shoulders and down his arms as she began to regain control of her senses. This felt good—too good—better than the dream she couldn’t seem to let go of.

He wanted to touch her. He wanted to see every square inch of her magnificent body, but he knew that they had to be getting close to her place, and again, he wanted her to dictate what he could and couldn’t see. If she wanted to remain fully (well, almost) clothed during their first interlude, then that was completely up to her. He could guarantee that she wouldn’t have a stitch of clothing on her during their second, and hopefully, third exchange.

//Take all of me I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like The kind of girl you like, girl you like//

Riley’s movements began to quicken as she threw her head back. Lucas wrapped his arms around her as he began to plant kisses along her neck and chest. This felt nothing short of heaven, and he was hell bent to send her to the same euphoric paradise when they reached their destination.

He nearly snapped at her when she pushed his head back. Before he had a chance to voice his displeasure, she quickly covered his lips with her own. He pulled her even closer as he sought to control her mouth.

Riley couldn’t get close enough to him as she neared her climax. Her legs were wrapped around him as their tongues engaged in another battle of a long fought war between them. This was everything she had dreamt of and so much more. “Lucas,” she gasped as she pulled back. She couldn’t breathe. She could barely get his name out. She moaned as she quickened her pace.

Lucas dropped his hands to her ass as he slid her to him. If he wasn’t already approaching his own climax, he would have after he heard her gasp his name. He never loved his name more than when he heard her say it in complete, unadulterated pleasure. He groaned as she slammed against him. Just a few more thrusts and he would be sent spiraling into a different plane of reality.

“Oh,” she moaned once more as her head snapped back. She was there. She was there. She just needed him to join her. She needed to feel him convulse within her.

The sight of her nearing the brink of her climax sent him tumbling over. He gripped her back as he moaned her name. She fisted his hair as she finally gave in and careened over the edge with him.

It was wrong. She knew it, and he did too, but at that moment, nothing ever felt more right.

//Take all of me I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like The kinda girl you like Is right here with me//

She tried to straighten up her appearance as much as she could while Lucas put his clothes back on. Her hair was a mess, and her dress was slightly wrinkled, but she didn’t care about that. She just hoped that the driver didn’t hear them. She had never done anything like that in her life, but as she glanced at Lucas who seemed to be preoccupied with putting his shirt back on, she had zero regrets about it. At the end of the day, she trusted the guy she sat next to, even if they weren’t together. He had been her first everything, and was still her only sexual partner. She trusted him more than anyone—even herself at times. It was one reason why she refused to engage in deep discussions with him. She knew she would buckle. She knew she would confess everything to him, but she couldn’t. He was still in Texas. She was still in New York. She couldn’t hold him back. If he met someone, she didn’t want him to worry about breaking her heart (even though when the day finally came, Riley knew she would be completely inconsolable).

She shook her head. Were they there yet? She needed something to drink. She was beginning to sober up and her brain was racing to catch up to her heart. She couldn’t allow that. She didn’t want to back out. She didn’t want to walk away from him. She wasn’t strong enough for that—not yet anyway. Couldn’t they hold on for a little while longer?”

As Lucas slid his jacket on, he spotted Riley’s torn underwear on the ground. He glanced at the brunette who stared out the darkened window. He leaned forward as he reached for the garment. He slid it into his pocket before he leaned back in his seat. He slid his tie into the other pocket as the limo finally halted.

Riley turned her head when she heard the driver open his door. She smiled sheepishly at Lucas. “Perfect timing.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah.”

When the driver opened the door on Lucas’s side, the Texan slid out of the limo. Riley quickly scanned the backseat, but couldn’t find her underwear anywhere. ‘Oh God,’ she thought as she reached for her clutch. ‘Please don’t let this sweet man find them.’ She slid out of the car and thanked the driver for giving her a ride home.

The driver nodded and wished her a good night.

As he walked away, Riley glanced at Lucas. Well, she was already going to hell for doing this, might as well enjoy another glimpse of heaven while she was at it.

She opened her bag as she searched for her keys.

“When did you move out of the dorm,” he asked as they walked toward the door.

“Umm…after last semester. We…we were trying to stay at least through sophomore year, but it got to be too loud over there. And besides,” she added as she stuck the key in the door, “Maya started dating Josh, so she was more than ready to leave the juvenile setting of a dorm room.” She opened the door.

“So, they finally went public,” Lucas noted as they walked up the stairs toward Riley’s apartment.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Zay and I have a running bet on to when they actually first started dating.” She looked back at the Texan. “Pretty sure it was while we were in high school.”

“Oh definitely,” he agreed as he followed her on the stairs. “She was always sneaking off…didn’t date anyone. She went to prom by herself.”

“She didn’t go by herself,” Riley insisted as they reached the third floor. “We all went together, remember?”

Lucas looked down as he followed her down the hallway. Oh. He remembered that night clearly. It was the night he knew he was going to propose to her. The three of them went to the prom together because Riley didn’t want Maya to go alone. Lucas danced with both of them and the girls danced with one another. It reminded him a lot of the triangle that wasn’t in middle school. As he watched them dance with one another, he realized that they all had come so far from those days. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone the way he loved her. He knew it was crazy. They were young and both of them had committed themselves to going to schools on opposite sides of the country, but as he watched her turn to look at him and smiled while she danced with her best friend, he knew that there would never be anyone else for him.

“Lucas,” she called out to him.

His head snapped up at the sound of his name.

“Are you going to come in or stay in the hallway all night,” she chuckled.

He gave her a small smile as he followed her into her apartment.

//Driver, roll up the partition fast Driver, roll up the partition fast Over there I swear I saw them cameras flash//

Riley sat her clutch on the counter as she ducked into of the small kitchenette. She needed alcohol to quiet the voice in her head that screamed at her that this wasn’t right. “Do you want anything,” she called out as she opened the fridge.

“What do you have,” he called back as he slowly wandered into her small living room. Pictures of their group aligned the walls of the small apartment. Some of Maya’s artwork was peppered in between. A soft smile formed on his lips as he recalled every memory of every photo that laid before him.

“Beer, wine, tequila, vodka…”

“Beer is good,” he responded as he shrugged out of his jacket. He needed to take the edge off. He hadn’t had a drop to drink, but if he was expected to keep up the charade of pretending that what they were doing was strictly physical, then he needed something to dull his senses. He had nearly declared his undying love for her in the limo, and that was during a rushed exchange. God knows what would come out of his mouth given a few more hours with her.

For what he had envisioned for the remainder of the evening, he knew that he had to be at least slightly inebriated.

He wasn’t about to destroy the last shred of her he could have.

She heard him loud and clear: beer. He wanted beer. Meanwhile, she went straight for the vodka. It had allowed her to pull through the first time. Surely, it wouldn’t give up on her now. “How about a shot of vodka too,” she called out as she poured one for herself.

“Sure,” he answered as he strolled into the kitchen. He leaned against the doorway as he watched her pour him a shot.

“Do you need something to chase it with,” she asked as she opened the refrigerator.

“No,” he answered.

Riley smiled at him. “Impressive Dr. Friar. Learn that in Texas?”

He smirked. “Well, in Texas, we go for whiskey.”

“Sorry,” she shrugged as she closed the refrigerator. She grabbed both shots before she walked over to him. She handed him the glass. “Fresh out.”

He tapped his glass to hers. “To…old friends.”

She looked down. “Yeah. Old friends.”

They both leaned back at the same time as they downed the liquid. Neither of them reacted as it burned down their throats. Both had become used to the taste of it. Both of them were used to using it as a means of escaping their feelings, the reality that had taken shape of their world.

“Do you want another one,” she asked as she took the glass from him.

“One more,” he answered. “Then I could really go for that beer.”

She smiled as she poured them another shot. “I didn’t forget.” She sat the bottle down. “You know,” she began as she walked back to him, “Beer is pretty fattening.”

He looked down. “Are you saying I’ve gotten fat,” he teased.

She handed him the small glass. Neither said a word as they both drank the contents. “No,” she answered as she took the glass from him. “Quite the opposite actually. I need to know your secret to staying fit while pounding beers.”

“I don’t drink beer that often,” he answered truthfully.

“Just on special occasions,” she offered.

He chuckled. “Yeah…or when there isn’t an ample supply of whiskey around.”

“Ah.” She opened the refrigerator one last time as she pulled out a beer for him. She popped the cap off before she walked back to him and handed him the bottle. “Well, now I know.”

“For next time?” He took a swig as he watched her walk into the living room.

“Are you coming back this summer?”

“Yeah,” he sighed as he followed her.

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

“I’ll only be in town for a few weeks.”

Riley slowly sat down on the couch. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” he sat down next to her. “Pappy Joe needs some help this summer. I told him I’d help him. He doesn’t really have…anyone else there to take care of everything.”

Riley folded her hands. “Well, that’s nice of you.” Her gaze fell as she looked at her joined hands. So, he wouldn’t be in town this summer. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe this was the push she needed to finally detach herself from him. Her eyes drifted back toward her kitchen. Would it be too much for her to finish off that bottle of vodka?

“Unless there’s a reason for me to stay.” He took another swig of his beer. Had he actually said that? He waited for the fallout. He waited for her to get upset, to kick him out. Instead, he heard her chuckle.

“Family is family. I don’t think there could be a better reason for you to spend the summer there.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. He glanced around the room once more. “This is a nice apartment.”

“Yeah,” she sighed as she looked around. “We like it. Nice neighbors. It’s nice to feel independent, you know?”

“Definitely understandable.” He looked at the bottle in his hands.

They fell silent for a few moments as Lucas took occasional sips of his drink. Finally, Riley’s ringtone chimed through the otherwise soundless apartment. She got up as she walked over to her clutch. She pulled out her phone as she read her missed text message. She took a deep breath as she typed a response.

“Who is that,” Lucas asked off handedly. When Riley didn’t answer him, he furrowed his eyebrows. He knew it was none of his business, but a sense of dread filled him. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

“Him who,” she asked as she sat her phone down.

“The guy you were dancing with when I showed up tonight. The guy you’ve been seeing.”

“Yeah,” she answered as she walked back into the living room.

“Is it serious?”

She frowned. “Obviously not,” she answered, slightly offended that he would even consider the idea that she would cheat on someone.

“I didn’t…I didn’t mean it like that.”

Riley crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t have to justify my love life to you.”

“Uh…you do if you’re sleeping with him,” he responded as he stood up. “I have a right to know who you’ve been with before we…before anything else happens.”

He was right. She knew he was. She would want to know if he became intimate with someone else. It was the safest way to know whether or not she could contract something. “No,” she grounded out. “We aren’t…it’s not like that.”

“But you could be right,” he asked as he inched closer to her. “Intimate…with him.”

“I don’t have to answer that,” she responded. “I’m dating around…as I’m sure you are too.” She paused. “We can’t talk about this. It’s not…we aren’t…I don’t owe you an explanation. I’ve been seeing someone who is also friends with Farkle…we went to his party together. We danced.” She paused. “He texted me to make sure I’m ok…that I got home safely.” She waited a beat. “You can’t be jealous.”

“I’m not,” he lied as he finally reached her. “I was just…curious…as I’m sure you would be if you saw me tangled up with someone else on a dance floor.” He slowly raked his eyes over her. He didn’t want to fight with her. Jealousy coursed through his veins, but now wasn’t the time to react. “You know…you said once we got here that I could dictate what we do.”

She slowly looked up at him as their potential argument quickly melted away. “What do you want to do?”

He placed his hands on either side of her as he ran his fingers over the straps of her dress. “I want to spend the next several hours worshipping every square inch of you.” He slowly slid the straps down her arms. As soon as the straps were released from her, her dress fell to the floor. Due to the low cut design of the dress, Riley didn’t wear a bra. So, there she stood before him, completely naked.

“God,” he breathed as he slowly re-familiarized himself with every square inch of her form. “You’re so beautiful, Riley.”

“What do you want to do to me, Lucas,” she asked softly as she made no attempt to cover herself up. “Or what to do you want me to do to you?”

His eyes slowly traveled back up to her chocolate eyes. “I want you to show me your bedroom.”

//Handprints and footprints on my glass Handprints and good grips all on my ass//

Outwardly, she acted so completely confident in her body that she still made no move to cover up as she walked down the short hallway to her room. Inwardly, her brain screamed at her to cover up because she was Riley Matthews—the girl who was always insecure. It was a very strange thing. When he looked at her, she didn’t feel insecure. She didn’t feel the need to cover anything up. She felt beautiful.

As she opened the door to her bedroom, she turned back to him. She waited for him to enter, but instead he stopped right in front of her.

She held her breath as he leaned into her. “Do you want this,” he asked her.

She leaned her head back against the doorway. “What?”

“This? Our little deal. Do you want to continue it?”

She swallowed. “Why…why do you ask?”

“Because…you’re dating other people. Maybe you’re interested in a relationship with Caleb. If you are, tell me, and we can end this now…walk away as—“

“Friends,” she offered.

“Yeah,” he answered.

Riley looked at him for a long moment. This was her chance to come to her senses and stop the insanity. This was her chance to break the cycle for once and for all. He gave her an opening; she only had to take it. The problem was that this whole arrangement was her idea, and she still felt the same way now as she did then. While she wasn’t permitted to be with him, while she knew that this didn’t make up for the loss she experienced two years ago, she still couldn’t find the words to actually end it. She had to have any part of him that she could. This was the only way. Maybe one day she would gain some sense of control and end it, but she couldn’t do that now. She was too addicted to him. “I don’t want to stop,” she answered honestly. “Do you?”

He did. He wanted to stop it if it meant that he could have her completely. Gauging by their earlier conversation, he knew that wasn’t a possibility. Not now, at least. He could wait a little longer. She was worth it. They were worth it. He leaned down to her. “No,” he answered softly.

As he neared her lips, she pulled back from him. She smiled as a look of confusion graced his face. “There’s only one rule,” she said as she ran her finger along the collar of his shirt.

He swallowed. “What’s that?”

Her eyes fell to the floor. “You can’t step over that threshold if you have any stitch of clothing on.”

His eyes slowly fell to the ground. He watched as Riley slid her black heels off before she crossed the threshold. She tossed them toward the corner of the room before she turned back to him. “That’s it,” she smirked. “The only rule.”

Lucas’s mouth fell open. Who was this girl and what had she done with Riley Matthews? She spoke with such confidence, such allure that he thought his heart had actually stopped beating. He had always loved the woman who stood before him. He had spent years trying to show her that she had no need to be insecure about anything—that she was an angel who walked amongst mere mortals. Had college given her this newfound sense of confidence? Had their little arrangement taken the pressure off to be perfect?

He had no idea, but as he found himself unbuttoning his shirt, he wasn’t about to question it. He knew she wasn’t perfect, but in that moment, he couldn’t think of a single thing he would ever change about her. All he wanted to do was to pay homage to her very existence. He wanted to give her what she deserved—pure, unadulterated pleasure.

As he slid his shirt down his arms, he knew that he would never be worthy of her. He knew that he should be grateful for the years she had allowed him to be in her orbit. He knew that one day this would end, and that he would be forced to survive in a world where he wasn’t allowed to pay tribute to her existence.

But not tonight.

No, tonight he was fortunate enough to be given the chance to make sure she knew that she held all of him within the palm of her hand.

He knew the current status of their relationship wasn’t healthy, but he didn’t care. He knew that one day he would. He knew that one day either he or she would confront the reality of what they had been doing for the last year and a half, but as Lucas unbuckled his pants, he sent up a silent prayer to whatever deity would listen to him that it wouldn’t end—that their impending conversation would result in a reconciliation. He already had to live six months in a world without her. If he had any say in his future, that would never happen again.

//Private show with the music blasting He like to call me Peaches when we get this nasty Red wine drip, we’ll talk that trash Chauffeur eavesdropping trying not to crash//

Riley watched as Lucas undressed. She was impressed with the way she had been able to command him thus far. She felt the vodka begin to take effect as he slid his underwear off. ‘Good,’ she mused as he tossed the last piece of his clothing to the side. She didn’t want to think logically. As he stepped over the threshold into her room and strolled toward her, she knew that tonight, she only wanted him.

“Now, its mine turn,” he told her as he stood in front of her.

“A deal is a deal,” she reached behind her head to pull her hair tie out. Her long brown hair came tumbling down, providing a sheer cover for her breasts.

Lucas ran his fingers down her tangled locks before he tossed her hair over her shoulder. He needed to see her—all of her. His index finger slowly slid down her arm. The right corner of his mouth turned up into a smile when he noticed the trail of goose bumps that quickly followed his touch. “I want to touch every square inch of you,” he murmured as his other hand gripped her waist. “I want to hear you moan my name,” he continued as he gently nudged her to him. “I want you to beg for more.” His left hand lightly brushed the length of her spine. When Riley closed her eyes and shuddered in response, Lucas’s smile grew. “I want you to beg for me,” he finished as his eyes looked down at her.

Riley slowly opened her eyes when she felt his gaze land on her body. It was clear that he wanted to take his time with her tonight, but she already wanted nothing more than to shove him on her bed and show him exactly how his gentle caresses had affected her. When her eyes met his, she took a shaky breath. His eyes had darkened as his other hand gripped her other side of her waist. She swallowed. Maybe she hadn’t had enough to drink over the last few hours. Maybe she was still too sober to do this without feeling anything for the man in front of her.

As his face leaned in toward hers, she realized that there wasn’t enough alcohol on earth to ever make her truly forget just how much she loved him.

//Oh there daddy, daddy now you ripped my fur Oh baby baby be sweating out my hair Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up We ain't even gonna make it to this club//

He wasn’t sure how long they stood in her bedroom as they kissed. Time was no longer a concept. They must have been suspended up in space somewhere. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days. He had no idea. All he knew was that this time, their kisses had slowed. There wasn’t any sense of urgency. It was gentle, methodical. He wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to explore every part of her. When she released a soft moan, he pulled her flush against him. He had to hear that sound again. He had to know that she was enjoying this just as much as he was.

Riley’s hands slid up his arms as she finally wrapped her arms around his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair as she opened her mouth further. At that moment, she felt like it would never be enough. Their bodies were completely pressed against one another, his tongue actively engaged in another battle of dominance with hers, and yet, she needed to be closer. When she felt his hands slide around to cup her ass, she smiled. When she felt his erection against her pelvis, she slowly spread her legs to allow him to brush against her vagina.

Lucas practically growled at the contact, but it wasn’t directed at the brunette in his arms. He found himself thrust in his own civil war. Part of him wanted to take her right then and there, but there was another part of him who wanted to continue with his plan.

He gripped her ass even tighter as he lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her over to her bed. He finally broke contact with her perfect mouth once her head hit her pillow. “You aren’t playing fair,” he breathed.

She squirmed under the intensity of his gaze. With one look, she felt like he could ask her to do anything and she would comply without hesitation. It was dangerous. He was dangerous. Her heart began to race as his eyes slowly ran down the length of her body. She would give anything to know what he was thinking.

‘You got to slow down, Friar,’ he told himself as he took several deep breaths. They had all night—a luxury neither were used to. Before, it had always been hurried exchanges between them. Now he had the chance to truly make love to the woman in front of him. “You’re incredible,” he breathed as his hand ran down her legs. He paused when he reached her knees. He gently nudged them apart as he positioned himself in between them.

Riley said nothing as she watched him slowly plant kisses along her hipbone. She took a shaky breath as she felt goose bumps pop up along every area he touched.

Lucas smiled against her skin as he methodically kissed down the length of her right leg. As he slowly made his way up to her hip on her left leg, he noticed her squirm. “You aren’t enjoying this?” His tone wasn’t accusatory. He seemed more amused by her reaction. He could feel the heat permeating from in between her thighs. He heard every breathy sigh she released as he paid homage to her slender legs. There was no way on earth she wasn’t enjoying every second of this.

She closed her eyes as he began to kiss along her hipbone once more. It was one of her tender spots, and he knew it. She hissed as his teeth gently scraped across her flawless flesh. “Please,” she moaned before she took a sharp shallow breath. “Lucas, please.”

He lifted his head as he watched her lean her head back. For a second, he thought he could hear her heart racing. He needed to resist her pleas, for now anyway. He had only began his exploration of her body. “You can do better than that,” he teased as his hands moved up to cup her breasts.

Riley arched her back at his touch. She furrowed her eyebrows together as she tried to figure out some way to regain control of her senses. She knew he was teasing her. She knew that he wanted to hear her beg. She hadn’t intended for that to slip from her lips, but as he slowly lowered his head in between her thighs, she knew that it wouldn’t be the last time she begged for him.

//Take all of me I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like The kind of girl you like, girl you like//

“Oh my God,” she cried out as she felt herself fly over the edge of ecstasy. She panted as he slowly lifted his head. If her eyes were open, she would have noticed the ruthless grin he had as he slowly slid up her body. Her heart slammed against her chest as she desperately tried to catch her breath. “Lucas,” she panted as she felt him kiss along her neck. “Are you sure you haven’t done that with someone in Texas?” Her mind was completely fogged over as she placed her hand over her forehead. He had gone down on her before, but it had never been quite that meticulous. He took his time. He made sure to pay attention to the areas she was the most sensitive to. Basically, it was sheer perfection.

He chuckled against her neck. “No,” he answered as his lips slid down to her collarbone. “Just you.”

She lowered her hand as she felt her heart rate begin to return to normal. “I can’t wait to repay you for it,” she sighed happily.

“Well,” he drawled out as he lifted his head. “It’ll have to wait until next time.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“My rules, remember?” He smirked. “I’m not done yet.”

“This isn’t fair,” she groaned as he lowered his head to kiss the other side of her neck.

Lucas slid his hand down her arm until he reached her hand. He brushed his fingertips against hers for a moment before he lifted her hand above her head. “What do you want, Riley?”

“You know what I want,” she whispered as his teeth lightly bit her earlobe.

“And you know what I want,” he retorted as his hands roamed her body. He lifted his head as his eyes met hers. He knew he couldn’t ask for the one thing he needed the most in this world, but for now, this could keep him going until the next time he saw her. “I need to hear it, Riley. I need to know that you need this just as badly as I do…that you want to be consumed by me. I need to hear that you know that the fire you feel right now is because of me.”

She stared into his eyes for a long moment. Something was beginning to shift between them. She felt it the moment he began to pleasure her. What had made that orgasm so intense wasn’t the way he used his tongue, or the rhythm of his fingers inside of her, it was because he had made love to her. He still had feelings for her. It was something she had tried to deny for a while, but as she looked into his eyes now, she knew she that it couldn’t possibly be anything else.

They had to end this. She knew that. However, knowing and acting were two different things. She wasn’t strong enough to say goodbye to him yet, because she felt the same way.

All of the reasons she broke up with him came rushing at her. He was going to be a veterinarian. That meant a lot more time in school than simply two more years. What if they reconciled just to argue all the time and become even more miserable than they already were? She couldn’t stand the thought of him not in her life.

No. Until everything got settled, she couldn’t tell him. She wasn’t ready to let him go. She was stuck in this non-relationship relationship with him. And while it had its perks, it also felt like the definition of purgatory.

“I need you,” she finally whispered as she forced herself to come back to the present. She had plenty of time to torment herself later. Right now, she needed to be in this moment with him. She needed this taste of paradise. “Please,” she begged. “Lucas, I need more. I need to feel you inside me.”

She didn’t think it was possible, but his eyes darkened further at her words. Her fingers brushed against his cheek. “Please,” she pleaded once more.

This was supposed to be his moment. This was supposed to be the moment he knew whether or not she loved him. He thought that if she begged for him, that he would know that she needed him as much as he needed her. As she said the words he longed to hear, he felt himself silently plead with her to take him back. He thought he would feel some vindication, some newfound certainty that he had taken the upper hand in their tumultuous relationship, but as soon as her hands brushed across his cheek, he knew that he would jump off the Brooklyn Bridge if she asked him to. He was a slave to the woman underneath him. He always was, and always would be. He nearly professed his love in response, but quickly stopped himself. Now wasn’t the time for that.

His lips finally crashed against hers as she wrapped her legs around his hips.

//Take all of me I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like The kinda girl you like Is right here with me//

His right hand lowered to cup her ass while she gripped his shoulders. He quickly slid into her. Riley gasped in response as he gave her a moment to get used to the sensation. He tossed her hair to the side as he sucked on the base of her neck. The act elicited a moan from the brunette. She wiggled against him as she buried her head in his neck. Could they stay just like this forever? She couldn’t imagine a better form of heaven.

At first he slowly moved against her as she dug her fingernails into his shoulder blades. She was felt so tight, so perfect. His sexual experience was only limited to her, but he couldn’t imagine a more perfect fit as he repeatedly filled her.

“Yes,” she groaned against his neck before she began to gently suck on the tender piece of flesh behind his ear. It was one of the most sensitive spots on his body, and she knew it. She knew exactly what to do to speed him up, to bend him to her will.

He both loved and loathed that she held that much power over him. He moaned as he began to speed up his thrusts. He took a deep breath as she wrapped her legs even tighter around him. He wasn’t going to let go yet. This felt too incredible. He needed this moment to last. He needed to feel this close to her for as long as she would allow him to.

“Lucas,” she panted as he palmed her ass. “Please,” she begged, “please don’t stop.”

He nearly came right then and there. That was what he desperately needed to hear. He needed to hear her plead with him. He needed to hear her pleasure. He needed to know that he affected her just as deeply, just as primitively, just as passionately, as she affected him. She possessed most of his thoughts, even from two thousand miles away. He needed to know that after he left her once more, that she would think about this night and remember it. He wanted this moment to be seared into her memory for the rest of her life. He wanted to ruin every other guy for her. He wanted to be the only one. He wanted to be the one.

//Est-ce que tu aimes le sexe? Le sexe, je veux dire: l'activité physique, le coït. Tu aimes ça? Tu ne t'intéresses pas au sexe? Les hommes pensent que les féministes détestent le sexe mais c'est une activité très stimulante et naturelle que les femmes adorent//

She was there. She was ready to release her third climax of the evening, but she wanted to wait for him. Nothing felt better than to reach the pinnacle of pleasure with him. “Lucas…oh God.”

He groaned in response. If he lived to be 100, he’d never get tired of the way she breathed his name in the bedroom. The way she said it immediately pushed him to the brink. “Riley,” he moaned. She wrapped her arms around his back and pressed her foot against his ass. The act sent him even further into her, where he finally exploded.

As soon as she felt him climax, Riley followed. She cried out as she tightened her hold on him. She didn’t want to let go. She couldn’t. He was the only thing that kept her tied to the earth below. She was on another plane of existence as they both longed to remain in that world. In that world, nothing else mattered but them. They didn’t have to worry about labels or figuring out the complexities of their relationship. They merely existed to please one another.

Soon enough, gravity took control as they slowly fell back to Earth. Lucas reluctantly pulled out of her as he laid down next to her. He pulled her to him before he placed a gently kiss to her shoulder.

Riley sighed contentedly as she closed her eyes. “That was…”

He smiled against her shoulder. “Was what?”

She searched her brain. Had she spoken? If so, what did she say? She wasn’t even entirely sure where she was at the moment. She finally let out a soft chuckle. “I have no idea.” She took a deep breath. “I need something to drink.” She turned her head toward him. “Do you want something?”

“I’ll get it,” he offered as he reluctantly untangled himself from the goddess next to him. “What would you like? Water or something stronger? I make a mean vodka cranberry…or so I’m told.”

She smirked as she caught his reference to the last time they met up. “Both sound heavenly,” she answered.

“Both, it is.”

Riley sat up as she watched him leave her bedroom without a stitch of clothing on. “Damn,” she mumbled as she fell back on the bed. How was it possible that she felt like she was on cloud nine while at the same time, also felt an overwhelming sense of grief? Tears quickly formed in her eyes. This wasn’t allowed. She couldn’t cry right now. She didn’t want to think about what comes next. She wanted to live in the moment with him.

She sat back up as she wiped her eyes. She needed to escape for a few moments and regroup. She wandered into her bathroom and turned on the shower. As soon as she stepped in, she felt the water scald her, but she didn’t care. She needed to feel something other than the rush of loneliness that had suddenly captured her.

//Take all of me I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like The kind of girl you like, girl you like//

She wasn’t sure how long she stood in the shower before he entered the bathroom. Neither of them said anything as he slipped into the shower behind her. He hissed when he felt the scalding water. “Jesus, Riley.” He noticed the red marks on her skin and quickly turned the hot water down. “Are you ok?”

She slowly turned to face him. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was still dark outside. They still had a few more hours at least. She had a little while longer to pretend that everything was ok, that whatever they had was normal, and not the worst idea in the history of everything. “I’m fine,” she smiled as she stepped closer to him. Her eyes slowly traveled down his body. “You’re ready again?” He was completely insatiable. She would never be able to keep up with him.

“Maybe in a little while,” he responded as he reached for her loofah. “Right now, I’m thinking a shower…the drinks…a little relaxation.”

“I’m not sure that’s allowed,” she responded before she turned away from him.

Her comment stung slightly, but he wasn’t about to argue with her after what had just transpired in her bedroom. “You know,” he began as he reached for her soap, “You did say that we were friends with benefits. Maybe in between the benefits, we could actually…be friends.” He ran the loofah along her back. “Friends can drink and hang out, right?”

He had a point. They didn’t talk at all unless he was in town, and before tonight, they only had a very limited amount of time to release their sexual frustration on one another. Maybe trying out the friends side of their arrangement would allow her the chance to become more comfortable with what they were now? Maybe that way, she wouldn’t try to hide from him next time? “You’re right. Friends hang out…and we’re friends, right?”

‘For now,’ his mind screamed at him. “Yeah. Yeah…we’re friends.” They had always been friends, but it had also always been more than that between them. Was he happy with their current relationship status? No. Of course not. He wouldn’t be satisfied until they were back together, but he could wait a little longer to plead his case to her.

//Take all of me I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like//

They laid back in her bed as they watched tv for a little while. He briefly wondered when she would kick him out of her place, but halfway through the second episode of ‘Red Planet Diaries’ she draped her arm across his waist and placed her head on his chest. He was slightly confused at first. He didn’t know that cuddling was acceptable in their non-relationship relationship, not that he would ever complain about it.

When her breathing deepened, he knew that she had fallen asleep. He wasn’t about to disturb her for the world. He wrapped his arm around her back and lightly traced out the three words he had restrained himself from saying the entire night. ‘I love you,’ he thought as he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Riley slowly opened her eyes when she felt Lucas’ arm loosen its grip on her waist. He was asleep. She wasn’t entirely sure why she had pretended to fall asleep. No. That’s a lie. She knew why she did it. She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted him to stay the night. She wanted him to stay forever.

She took a deep breath. Forever is a long time, and it felt like the universe had transpired to keep them apart for some reason. She had tried to move on. She thought that she was on the way to doing that with Caleb, but one night with Lucas changed everything. She needed to end things with Caleb. Farkle was right and she didn’t want to lead him on. She wasn’t ready for another relationship. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready. She was fairly certain that she would be in love with Lucas Friar for the rest of her life, but she couldn’t have him. Not now. Not while they were in school. Not while they lived on opposite sides of the country. She wasn’t going to be the reason why he missed out. As much as it killed her, as much as she loathed herself and the current predicament she found herself in, she couldn’t give him up yet.

//The kinda girl you like Is right here with me//

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