#jeff’s noises here are making me feel insane

[frostbeees]

elliotte: “there is something i do want to shoutout that’s going on at our hotel.”

jeff: “while you’re in a towel.”

[gerrystamour]

here i have found some peace of mind [chapter six]

Rated E | Steddie

[ FIRST ] [ PREVIOUS ]

Finally, the boys meet... AKA, the Fuckening I'M SORRY THAT WAS TERRIBLE Once again, Steve is a transmasc character, I am a transmasc writer, I base his transness off of my own and so I refer to his anatomy the same way I refer to my own. Steve, like me, does not have bottom dysphoria and enjoys vaginal penetration. Also, Steve can't get pregnant and though it's not mentioned explicitly in the fic, it's because his tubes have been tied. CW: There is just a lot of smut in this chapter.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

for once in my life i feel alive

The crowd around Steve and Will was absolutely buzzing with excitement, already sweaty and ramped up from the openers. Despite getting to the arena a bit later than much of the crowd, Steve and Will managed to make it to the barrier, largely thanks to Will’s bony elbows.

Even though Steve had no experience with metal outside of Corroded Coffin’s music, he could respect the energy the opening bands brought with them. It was all just a bit noisy for Steve, and the yelling made it hard to understand the words, but overall, he could enjoy it.

“The words aren’t the point, Steve,” Will said with a snort when Steve complained aloud to him about it.

“Then why even bother having lyrics?” Steve snapped back, rolling his eyes as he watched the curtains that had been dropped around the stage from a rig above them while it was set for Corroded Coffin.

“You read the lyrics later after you feel the emotion first,” Will explained and Steve let out a huff.

“Yeah, well the feeling I get listening to unintelligible screaming is annoyance,” he said with a teasing grin, nudging Will with his elbow as the lights dimmed.

With the lights lowering, the low din around them increased to a roar. If Steve thought the energy of the crowd was insane before, he didn’t have words to describe it now. Steve had been to concerts before, but he couldn’t say any of them had this level of engagement from the crowd before the music even started.

The arena grew so dark that only the emergency exit lights and the screens of phones were visible in the darkness, and if Steve hadn’t been so close, he wouldn’t have been able to see the curtain being raised. When a low, sustained guitar tone began to play, the noise from the crowd immediately dropped easily by half, just as a red spotlight lit up the center of the stage where there now sat an ornate altar.

And Eddie was on top of the altar, standing with his head thrown back, letting the tension build, his guitar hanging from its strap around his neck, slung low on his hips. Tilting his head forward to flash a toothy, almost maniacal grin at the crowd, he began to sing, soft and almost mournful.

Steve felt his breath leave him in one swift gust.

The thing was that Steve knew Eddie was talented. He knew the man could sing and he knew he could do it well. To hear it live, however, and in what was clearly Eddie’s element? That was something else entirely.

Suddenly, another spotlight shone on the stage, illuminating Grant as a quick bass line started up, slowly building in volume until the whole stage was lit up and the rest of the band joined in. It was loud, but amazing, just Jeff and Eddie practically dueling with their guitars while Gareth went crazy on the drums atop the platform behind Eddie’s altar.

The guitar battle bled so seamlessly into the next song that Steve almost missed the transition, and in the end only truly realized that the song changed because the lighting itself did.

The whole band was wearing outfits like the costumes they wore in the music video Steve watched, with dark, skin-tight leather pants and elaborate horns. A big notable change, however, was the brace that Eddie wore on his leg so he could stand for a bit without using his cane for longer. There was a sturdy mic stand on the altar that was built with a hook where Eddie’s cane hung from its wrist strap.

Once Eddie started singing again, however, Steve was swept up in the performance and energy of the crowd. He’d done quite a bit of listening to the newest album, making sure he knew the lyrics of the newest stuff well enough to not stand out too much in the crowd.

A lot of the guitar work was carried by Jeff as well as another person that Steve knew was not actually in the band. Steve remembered a few Tour Diaries that explained that while Eddie did all of the rhythm guitar lines on the studio version of the album, that was only because the recording timeline allowed for him to play guitar and recover. While touring, Eddie had to be careful so he didn’t trigger his nerve pain, so he only played guitar during certain songs, and even then only for specific parts.

Throughout the next several songs, Eddie was standing atop the altar, holding onto the mic stand with his guitar hanging around his neck as he swung his hips with the beat. The move was slow, sensual, even during the heavier moments and had Steve flushed and breathless. Luckily with how hot and sweaty he was just from being surrounded by hundreds of shouting and singing people, his reaction to Eddie’s hips practically grinding against a guitar wouldn’t be obvious.

Behind the band were two huge screens that seemed to alternate between live shots of the band and scenes from the music videos, and every time the cameras were on a specific member, they always knew exactly what camera to be looking at. Once again, the comments the boys made about ‘complicated choreography’ came back to Steve and he found himself feeling more and more impressed with them.

Naturally, Eddie’s relationship with the camera work was electric, the way he was so tuned into how good he looked, what his best angle was, how to stare down the camera, his little hand motions to the camera. The best one (while simultaneously being the worst) was a sultry come-hither motion with one finger during a song that Steve was fairly certain was about having sex in a cemetery.

The band played through the first five full songs before the lighting changed and the band took a break. It wasn’t obvious as a break, the band just stopping their actual playing while a quiet, ominous backing track continued. Gareth was chugging a bottle of water while Jeff wandered across the stage to stand closer to the other guitarist.

Turning his attention back to Eddie, Steve actually met the man’s gaze and gasped. Eddie was leaning on his cane, his guitar swung around to his back, giving the crowd an uninterrupted view of the long, perfect line of his body. With the way their eyes were locked, though, it was as if this whole performance was for Steve alone.

Chuckling into the mic, Eddie tore his gaze away and looked around the arena. “Good evening, Chicago!” he called, his grin nothing but teeth and dimples when the crowd roared back. “How’s everyone feeling tonight?”

The crowd exploded with excitement, somehow even louder than the first response.

“See, I’m feeling great tonight. This show’s a little bit different,” Eddie continued, shifting his weight carefully between his feet as Jeff wandered back to his spot on the stage. The crowd screamed back excitedly, and Eddie met Steve’s eyes briefly before he added with a smirk, “Got someone special in the crowd.”

To Steve’s utter disbelief, what sounded like half of the arena began wailing ‘Steve,’ making the entirety of the band laugh loudly. Steve’s entire face felt impossibly hot as Eddie looked back at him with a tiny wink.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve laughed, covering his mouth when Will looked over at him with a look that was somehow both sympathetic and jealous.

All of the people surrounding Will and him were joining in with the inside-joke with the band, and also looking around desperately as if they could actually find the elusive “Steve” from the Tour Diaries.

Gareth was squinting around at the crowd before he leaned over to his mic. “The hell are y’all looking around for?” he asked flatly, and the crowd just shouted back Steve’s name. “You don’t even know what he looks like!”

“Leave ‘em alone, they’re just excited,” Eddie said to Gareth as Jeff smirked and started playing his guitar, the backing track quieting as the lighting dimmed again. “It’s your fault they’re like this anyway.”

There was a bit more banter, but Steve had all but tuned it out as he watched Eddie goof off with his friends. They seamlessly shifted into another intricate guitar moment, one that Eddie took part in, even taking the lead at one point. He and Jeff had effortless chemistry on the stage, easily switching back and forth, never fumbling as far as Steve’s untrained ear could tell.

As Jeff took over the guitar solo, Eddie swung his guitar around to his back and held onto the mic with both hands. “This next song is Dark Altar,” he said in a low, sultry voice, and Steve cheered along with the crowd. Eddie was looking at him again, smirking as he added, “This one’s for you, Stevie.”

Then Eddie winked, and Steve was pretty sure he would’ve crawled up there to kiss that smug look off Eddie’s face if it wasn’t for the security guard standing just ahead of him.

Eddie was intense throughout the song, holding onto the mic stand and grinding his hips against the pole of it, throwing his head back and even groaning out some of the lyrics. Behind him, scenes from the music video played on the huge screens, including the scene of all of them with the priest. However, the shot was held longer, letting Steve see it in all its glory without squinting at the fuzzy frame on his phone. It was impossibly sexy, and once again Steve had the very vivid fantasy of being in the priest’s place.

The rest of the concert was a blur, Steve’s thoughts completely occupied with how good Eddie looked, how good he sounded, and how much Steve wanted him. He was vibrating with his excitement as every song brought him closer to the moment he met Eddie, face-to-face and in-person. It seemed like Eddie was just as excited, his eyes finding Steve’s every few moments. A few of those times, Eddie would reach down and grab himself, as if he was adjusting his erection in his pants, which drove the crowd insane almost as much as it did to Steve.

As Jeff and Grant chatted one final time with the audience ahead of the last two songs on the setlist, Eddie was carefully assisted down from the altar by a stage tech. Eddie stopped them before they could walk away and gestured vaguely in Steve’s direction while saying something close to their ear. The stage tech glanced over, squinting against the lights and frowning at him until Steve did a little wave. The stage tech smirked, turned back to Eddie and said something back that earned them a small shove and a laugh before the tech walked off.

Honestly, the moment was so short and quick that Steve was certain that he only really noticed it because he was completely focused on Eddie.

Now that Eddie was set up on the stage rather than the altar, he was closer almost as if he was in reach. With a jolt as the music started again in full swing, Steve realized that this was the closest they had been to each other. The second to last song started slow, Eddie singing almost sweetly for the first verse. Steve gazed up at Eddie, watching him sing and rock to the music, his eyes shut.

It was captivating, watching him feel the music like that, and Steve imagined a moment this sweet and intimate somewhere else. He imagined sleepy mornings with Eddie singing softly while making a pot of coffee, and Steve felt faint with the strength of his want.

When the song picked up, it didn’t lessen Steve’s want at all, especially as Eddie actually took lead guitar through the solo, his look of concentration intense. Steve couldn’t help but imagine Eddie sitting on his couch, guitar in his lap while he figured out a melody. Something soft and quiet, domestic even, that had Steve’s heart aching.

By the time the last song began to play, Steve was spiraling with his feelings for Eddie that he knew were too much for what was probably possible for them. It didn’t help that Eddie seemed determined to stare down directly at Steve, holding Steve’s gaze through the entire song, only breaking eye contact when he took the lead through the guitar solo once again.

Taking a deep breath, Steve shouted along with the crowd as the song came to a close and the curtain lowered around the stage again.

Before Steve could properly shake himself out of his thoughts to figure out with Will where they were supposed to go now, the security guard in front of them stepped up to the barrier.

“Come with me, please,” he said to them both, motioning down toward the end of the barrier where there was a space to slip behind it.

Glancing at each other with raised eyebrows, Steve and Will followed as quickly as they could with the crowd still milling about and reluctant to leave just yet.

❖

Steve and Will sat in one of the fancy lounges overlooking the arena below, each of them too excited to actually sit down on the couches. If Steve was honest, he kept looking at the couches and remembering the filth Eddie moaned and he needed to stop getting so flustered about it.

With the security guard escorting them, they were the first ones to the room, even ahead of the band, which was likely Eddie’s plan. They would have a few minutes of semi-privacy before the other fans with the VIP tickets were allowed in to actually meet face to face.

“Steve, you’re pacing,” Will said stiffly and Steve immediately stopped moving, looking back at him. To his surprise, Will looked like he was about to freak out, picking at his thumbnail and bouncing. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Wh-why? I’m sorry, I’ll try to stop, just what’s up man?” Steve asked, immediately crossing the lounge to stand with Will.

“I dunno, just got all tense with the adrenaline dropping, I guess. Freaking out because this is literally my favourite band, like, what if they suck as people?” Will said in a rush, then immediately added, “Like, what if they think I’m weird and annoying especially if I can’t even say anything to them?”

“Will, dude, no one is gonna think you’re annoying, okay? Everyone loves you and so will the guys,” Steve said, grabbing Will’s shoulder firmly. Then, with a cheeky grin Steve added, “And hey, I have some connections with the band, so I can tell you with absolute certainty that they do not suck as people.”

Will laughed at that, shoving Steve gently, especially when he reached up to ruffle his hair. “Dude, fuck off,” Will laughed, swatting Steve’s hand away.

“Yeugh, you’re so sweaty,” Steve complained, wiping his hand off on Will’s chest.

Just as they stepped apart, the door of the lounge opened and Eddie practically clambered through it, grinning and breathless as he crossed the lounge to Steve. Will immediately took a huge step back with a loud, almost disbelieving laugh as Eddie stumbled into Steve’s space.

The air seemed to leave the room as Eddie fisted his hands in the front of Steve’s shirt, pulling him in so close they were almost pressed flush against each other.

Steve stared at him, wide-eyed and smiling, taking in the details of Eddie’s face that he didn’t get to see in the video calls. Like the beginnings of crow’s feet at the corners of Eddie’s deep brown eyes, and just how rich those brown eyes were, or the silver strands of hair shot sparsely through the brown. Eddie still had some of his make-up on his face, clearly only washing up enough to get the bulk off but leaving patches of foundation and dark body paint near his hairline and on his throat.

Eddie was so beautiful and real that Steve felt like he might start to cry about it. They were finally together, in the same room and in the same space, breathing the same air and so close to kissing it was driving Steve insane. With a soft, pleading sound just for Eddie, Steve tilted his mouth up and Eddie let out a gusty breath.

“We shouldn’t,” Eddie said quietly, his hands tightening in Steve’s shirt as he went to pull back. “You know we couldn’t handle it.”

Steve laughed, tilting his head back to groan at the ceiling. “Christ, you think we’re that bad?” he asked. When he lowered his eyes to look back at Eddie through his lashes, the man was staring at the column of his throat with something that could only be described as hunger.

“I for sure am,” Eddie admitted after a moment, licking his lips and turning his attention to Steve’s face. “Wanna wait ‘til we won’t be interrupted, okay, sweetheart?”

“Y-yeah, sounds perfect,” Steve managed to stumble out, finally putting his hands on Eddie’s waist and hooking his fingers into the belt loops there. “Can’t believe this is actually happening.”

“Jesus H Christ, me neither,” Eddie laughed breathlessly, and Steve felt himself swoon over his dimples all over again. “When I saw you at the barrier, thought I was fucking dreaming, like genuinely thought I fell off the stage and was in a fucking coma.”

“Alright boys, put some space between you two before security comes in with the other fans,” Chrissy said as she stepped up beside them.

With a sad sound, Eddie let go of Steve’s shirt and stepped out of his space. “I’m gonna sit down, care to join me?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows at Steve as he carefully lowered himself onto the couch. With a content groan, Eddie slipped his cane off of his wrist to lay it across his lap, then stretched his leg out in front of him.

Steve quickly sat down with Eddie, even if his mind was immediately in the gutter about it. Eddie smirked at him, as if he could hear Steve’s thoughts, and stretched an arm across the back of the couch behind Steve, letting his fingertips rest gently on Steve’s shoulder.

Looking up at Will, Eddie beamed at him. “Hey, man, you must be Will! I’ve heard you’re a big fan, yeah?” he greeted, and Steve could have sworn the whole room heated up with the force of Will’s blush.

But of course, Will immediately fell into a natural rhythm chatting with Eddie, and soon they were passionately discussing Dungeons & Dragons.

That was when the couch on the other side of Steve dipped with the weight of someone else. Looking over, he was faced with Jeff while Gareth and Grant stayed standing, all of them eying Steve thoughtfully.

“It’s great to finally meet you, Steve,” Jeff said warmly, holding a hand up to offer a handshake. “I’m Jeff, by the way.”

Steve laughed and accepted the handshake. “I know,” he admitted with a shrug. “Eddie talked a lot about you guys, and I watched the videos.”

Gareth laughed. “Oh, I know you have,” he said smugly, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

“Gareth keeps saying he got you and Eddie back together,” Grant explained at Steve’s questioning look. “Because of the Steve Spotting montages.”

Snorting, Steve rolled his eyes. Before he could respond though, the door opened and a handful of fans entered the lounge, all of them bubbling with excitement. Without hesitation, Gareth and Grant crossed the room to start engaging with them, and a few brave fans approached the couch to talk with Jeff. Eventually a fan interjected with Eddie and Will’s conversation (which sounded more like an argument about the validity of experience points versus milestones with leveling up a party), and Eddie changed gears instantly.

It was actually alarming for Steve, and even Will looked a bit taken aback. Eddie was, of course, absolutely pleasant with the person and on the whole, he was engaged with their questions and giving polite answers. But his smile didn’t quite have his dimples, and his entire demeanour shifted to that sultry, almost seductive stage persona. What was wild to Steve is that the fan didn’t even seem phased that Eddie seemed to become a completely different person.

Steve was startled out of his thoughts when someone tapped on his shoulder. Craning his head back, he frowned at the security guard looking down at him sternly.

“You can’t be sitting on the couch with the band members,” the man said quietly, and Steve made a face but decided not to make a scene about it. He would have plenty of time with Eddie later, so it was fine.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Steve said with a pleasant smile, and he started to get up but Eddie’s hand slid down to properly hold his shoulder firmly.

“He’s allowed to be here,” Eddie said, looking back at the security guard with a good-natured smile.

The security guard almost seemed to puff up at that. “Fans can’t be on the couch with you, Mr. Munson, even if you say so,” he said even more sternly, almost condescendingly.

“Eddie, it’s okay—” Steve started, but Eddie just squeezed his shoulder once.

“He’s not a fan,” he said, his eyes flicking to the guard’s badge, before meeting his eyes again. The expression on Eddie’s face was dark, challenging even. “He’s my boyfriend. Leave him alone.”

The security guard jolted back at the same moment Steve turned to look at Eddie with wide eyes. The security guard was apologizing, fumbling through it and Eddie was shooing him away, but all Steve was able to hear was Eddie calling him his boyfriend. Heat filled Steve, and not even just in the sense of lust. He felt warmed all the way to his toes, that maybe this wasn’t just going to be casual and fun, that even for Eddie it was serious.

“Gotta go, love, see you later.”

Remembering that term of endearment from just a few hours before had Steve blushing even more, and maybe grinning like an idiot.

When the security guard walked away, Eddie leaned close to Steve’s ear and said lowly, “I hope that was okay. Sometimes these rent-a-pigs get full of themselves and try to boss us around.”

Steve laughed and nodded. “Yeah, Eds, that was fine,” he replied, and when Eddie pulled back, his expression was so fond and affectionate that Steve wanted to hide from it. Instead, he just smiled and said, “We’ll talk about it more at our date, yeah?”

Eddie just laughed and nodded. “Fuck yeah, we will,” he laughed.

“Is this Steve?” one of the fans nearby asked, and suddenly all the strangers in the lounge whipped around to look directly at Steve. Will snorted, covering his mouth to hide his laughter.

“Hi,” he said weakly the attention, waving jerkily. He blanched when someone lifted their phone as if to take a picture of him, but then his sight was obstructed by Jeff’s head when the man sat carefully in his lap, effectively blocking any pictures anyone tried to take.

“No pics of Stevie, please!” Eddie announced to the room, patting Jeff’s shoulder in thanks. “He’s shy.”

“’M not shy, just not really ready for thirty random people to have pictures of me on their phones,” Steve said quietly, grinning when Eddie and Jeff both laughed.

The group of people all decided to back off when it was clear that Jeff wasn’t going to get out of the way. Soon enough, they were all distracted surrounding Grant and Gareth while they demonstrated some elaborate secret handshake they were making up on the spot.

Eddie patted Jeff on the back. “Alright, man, your work here is done,” he said, making a frustrated noise when Jeff just snuggled in tighter against Steve’s chest. “Dude, thanks but get off my boyfriend’s lap.”

“Nah, I don’t think I will. It’s a comfy lap,” Jeff sighed, tipping his head back to rest on Steve’s shoulder to grin sidelong at him. “You got a problem with me sitting here, Steve?”

With a smirk, Steve wound his arms around Jeff’s waist and said, “Nope, all good, man.”

“Steve,” Eddie whined loudly, which drew the attention of some of the fans again, and they all broke out into a chorus of wailing “Steeeeve”s that had Gareth nearly collapsing to his knees with laughter.

The rest of the meet-and-greet went by relatively uneventfully. Will ended up sitting on the couch across from Eddie and restarted their earlier argument about various DM things, which got a bit rowdy when one of the other fans wandered over and joined the discussion. Eventually, Chrissy returned to the lounge and announced that it was time for anyone to get the autographs they wanted as the boys had to head out shortly.

At that point, Steve got off the couch to make room for the boys, watching them all quickly sign the items that fans handed them. As the fans had their things signed and were ushered out, Steve eyed the security guard from earlier a bit warily as the guard beckoned for Will to leave immediately after getting his stuff signed.

“Just give us a minute, I’m his ride,” Steve called a bit smugly, and the security guard dropped his hand huffily.

Soon enough, it was just Will and him with the band, and Chrissy was gathering them all up to return to the bus. When Eddie stood up, Steve stepped into his space with a little smirk, hooking a finger into his belt loop again.

“Mr. Munson, I was hoping for an autograph,” Steve said quietly, just loud enough for Eddie to hear, batting his eyelashes up at him.

Eddie blinked down at him, his cheeks turning pink before his expression turned hungry. “Did you, now? What’d you want signed, gorgeous?” he asked.

Steve made a show of looking around shyly. “Can’t show you in front of everyone,” he said softly, sweetly even. He couldn’t help the smirk when Eddie’s nostrils flared with his next slow breath in.

“How about you meet me back at my hotel, baby, I’ll give you something better than my autograph,” Eddie suggested, his tone downright guttural he was speaking so low.

Steve pouted. “You know I can’t go back to your hotel,” he whined, and Eddie cursed.

“Then the bus. I’ll wait for you on the bus where we’re parking it. I’ll give you your autograph there,” Eddie corrected, reaching up to cup Steve’s cheek softly.

“I’ll be there, promise,” Steve said as he tilted his face up as if to ask for a kiss. This time, it looked like Eddie was going to give in to the impulse, so Steve grinned and stepped back. Eddie’s gaze was heated and locked on his as Steve walked backward to the door. “See you, Eds.”

Without waiting for his response, Steve turned around and practically dragged Will out of the lounge, giggling almost deliriously.

“So, what were you saying about it not being serious, Steve?” Will asked knowingly, his arms crossed.

“Oh, shut up, Byers. Not a word to Robin,” Steve said breathlessly.

“Already texted her. Literally the moment he called you his boyfriend,” Will said.

“Ugh, traitor,” Steve groused, knowing he would hear so much shit about that the moment he got home.

❖

When Steve arrived at the tour bus, he was nearly shaking with his need to finally touch Eddie. He had parked his own car in the staff parking at the airport and walked to the oversized lot, excitement overcoming a lot of his nerves.

Opening the door, Steve climbed up the steps and found Eddie waiting, leaning against the kitchenette. He was in comfier clothes, a tank top and sweatpants, and Steve’s mouth watered at the sight of Eddie’s cock tenting the front of those pants.

Without a word, Steve crowded into Eddie’s space, pressing his lips and nose under Eddie’s jaw, mouthing at the skin there and tasting the salt of his sweat. Eddie let out a happy groan, wrapping his arms around Steve and grabbing his ass, hauling him in closer as Steve bit and sucked marks into Eddie’s skin.

“You’re so pushy,” Eddie groaned thickly into the air and Steve chuckled, licking a stripe up Eddie’s throat and nibbling on his earlobe.

“You’ve no idea,” Steve whispered before dropping heavily to his knees at Eddie’s feet and pulling at the drawstring of his sweatpants.

Eddie laughed almost incredulously as Steve yanked his clothes out of the way, a hand burying itself in Steve’s hair. “Shit, baby, did you come here with a plan?” he asked, and the sound he made when Steve mouthed at his cock through his boxers would live in Steve’s mind forever.

“Kind of. Just been thinking about getting my mouth on this since this morning,” Steve admitted as he found the head of Eddie’s cock through the fabric and sucked, moaning when the hand in his hair tightened roughly.

“Get to it then, sweetheart,” Eddie managed as he pulled Steve away by his hair, shoving his boxers down off his hips. “Don’t have all night.”

Steve shivered at the bossy tone, spreading his legs as he felt a gush of slick coat his boxers. He was looking up at Eddie’s face, pointedly ignoring the hard cock in front of him, as he asked, “What’s the rush?”

“The band’s operating on a tight schedule, sweet thing,” Eddie replied, smirking down at Steve as he brought back their little game from the lounge.

Steve moaned as a flash of heat lanced through his core and he finally looked down at his prize. The sound that was punched out of Steve was the furthest thing from dignified, but he refused to be embarrassed by it. The video Steve had been treated to that morning did nothing to prepare him for the real thing.

Eddie’s cock wasn’t huge, definitely a very easy length to take into his mouth and throat, but it was still big. More, it was thick in a way that made Steve’s jaw ache just thinking about wrapping his lips around it. Just like the rest of Eddie, his cock was solid and broad, perhaps in a way that most people wouldn’t expect. Lifting a hand up to wrap around it, Steve whined as his middle finger could barely reach his thumb.

“Not even fucking you with it yet, and you’re already singing for me?” Eddie teased, his voice thick with want, and Steve felt dizzy with the mention of being fucked. His cunt and dick throbbed, and he swore he could feel the beginnings of an orgasm already building in his gut.

Instead of answering, Steve took Eddie into his mouth, testing just how deep he could take him in one go. The weight of Eddie on his tongue, the spread of his jaw to accommodate his girth, had Steve groaning around him and pressing forward until he felt close to his gag reflex. Steve’s mouth was so full, and yet he hadn’t taken all of it in. Furrowing his brow, Steve was determined to swallow this perfect, fat cock by the end of the night.

Sliding back slowly, Steve swirled his tongue along the bottom vein and sucked noisily, the sound of it obscenely wet with how much spit was pooling under his tongue. Steve moaned and focused on the head, sucking gently while tonguing the slit to lap up the stream of precum leaking from it. Eddie’s other hand joined the first in Steve’s hair as he let out a low sound, and Steve looked up through his lashes to meet his gaze as he slowly took his cock back into his mouth.

Eddie’s eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open as he panted, soft sounds accompanying each hard exhale. When Steve paused as the head nudged at his soft palate and hummed, Eddie dropped his head back against the cabinet with a hard thud and a proper whimper.

“Fuck, baby, feels so good,” Eddie gasped, and Steve whined at the praise.

Pulling back a bit, Steve took a deep breath and pushed forward, opening his throat and pushing until his nose and lips were buried in the coarse hair at the base of Eddie’s cock. The weight of Eddie in his mouth and throat, the ache in his jaw and the way his throat was constricting, trying to push Eddie out or take him deeper, was intoxicating. Steve didn’t want to pull back off, even as he felt the gag coming, felt his whole body tensing, tears streaming down his cheeks. Choking, Steve finally pulled back, swallowing hard against the dry-heave and gasping for breath as his lips rested against the head of Eddie’s cock.

Looking back up at Eddie, Steve felt pinned by the heated stare he was under, Eddie’s nostrils flared and his mouth wet and red and hanging open with his sounds.

With a desperate sound, Steve went to work, fucking his face on Eddie’s thick cock with an enthusiasm he couldn’t remember ever having about sucking dick. Every few plunges, Steve would gag and choke, but he refused to let it stop him. Steve felt wet everywhere, with tears on his cheeks, spit coating his chin and throat, and his slick soaking through his boxers. It was filthy and perfect, and Steve wanted to add Eddie’s cum to the mess so desperately he buried his nose into the hair at the base again, swallowing around the fat head and not even pulling back when he gagged at first.

“Whoa, whoa, hold on, baby,” Eddie gasped through the litany of sobbing moans, pulling on Steve’s hair until he finally pulled back, his mouth slipping off Eddie’s cock with a wet pop.

“Why are you stopping me?” Steve complained, his voice hoarse in a way that made his own dick twitch.

“Gonna come if you keep that up, baby,” Eddie gasped, reaching up to wipe beads of sweat off his forehead and push his hair back out of his face.

“I want you to come in my throat,” Steve said firmly, his pout relaxing when Eddie groaned.

“Jesus H Christ, you’re really wanting me to come only five minutes in?” Eddie laughed, his face red with his blush.

“Yeah, if it’s in my throat,” Steve repeated, but when he tried to get his mouth on Eddie’s cock again, the hands in his hair stopped him. With a sob, Steve whined, “Eddie, please.”

“Babe, I adore your enthusiasm, holy shit, I’m just—” Eddie paused to take a deep breath, settling down a bit and Steve took that time to try and cool off as well.

“I know I said we didn’t have all night, but that was part of the roleplay, yeah? We absolutely do not need to rush any of this,” Eddie finally said, staring wide-eyed at Steve at his feet.

“Can you get hard again if you come right now?” Steve asked, swallowing and wiping his chin off, trying not to feel too smug when Eddie had to close his eyes and take another calming breath.

“Yeah, I can—it might take a bit, but I can definitely get hard again,” Eddie finally answered, sliding a hand down to hold Steve’s cheek, smearing his thumb through the tears and spit on his skin. “Feel like I’ve been hard for a week.”

“Same,” Steve moaned, fluttering his lashes up at Eddie. “Please, Eds, fuck my mouth on your cock. Want you at the back of my throat when you come, even if I choke on it.”

Eddie took a sharp breath, his hands tightening in Steve’s hair. “You sure, baby?” he asked, and the check-in touched Steve.

Instead of answering with words, Steve opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out a bit, whining softly as he nodded.

This time Eddie dragged Steve forward, feeding him his cock and guiding his head with rough tugs of his hair. Steve was in heaven, his eyes rolling back as he relaxed his throat as much as possible, timing his breaths, and gagging every time he messed up the rhythm. It was perfect, amazing even, and he wrapped an arm around Eddie’s thighs as he lifted the other hand to squeeze and tug gently at Eddie’s balls.

When Eddie sobbed prettily, Steve slid his hand further back to play with his taint, and his hand froze as he felt small metal balls just behind his sac. With a groan, Steve investigated what felt like a short ladder of curved barbells, three of them, down Eddie’s taint. Steve was overwhelmed with the fantasy of feeling them under his tongue, even as he gagged and choked on Eddie’s cock. Curling his finger, Steve rested the length of it along Eddie’s perineum, his knuckle resting just before his hole, and pressed.

The reaction was beautiful.

Eddie practically shouted, his moan a punched-out sob as he threw his head back and dragged Steve’s mouth onto his cock to the hilt. Steve had taken a deep breath, so he worked to keep his throat open around the head of Eddie’s cock while he massaged his taint, pulling all manner of whimpering pleas from the man above him.

With another shattered moan, Eddie shuddered and pulsed against Steve’s tongue, and Steve choked as the first shot hit the back of his throat. Tightening his grip around Eddie’s thighs, Steve didn’t let him pull him back, taking each pump of cum straight down his throat, tears streaming down his face as he gagged again. Needing to breathe, Steve pulled back, and his mouth filled with the rest of Eddie’s hot, salty load.

Eddie let out a whine and dragged Steve back to the hilt before he could swallow, and Steve felt a mouthful of cum and spit spill over his chin and down his throat. He hadn’t been ready for the way Eddie would bottom out again so quickly, so he choked and more of the mess of spit and cum in his mouth splattered in the coarse hair his mouth and nose were pressed into. Eddie didn’t relent, holding Steve there while he whimpered through the aftershocks of his orgasm, his cock slowly softening against Steve’s tongue.

When Steve gagged again, that seemed to snap Eddie out of it and he pulled Steve off of his cock.

Steve gasped desperately, his whole body shaking as he swallowed down a cough. “Holy shit,” he said, or at least tried to but his voice was gone it seemed. Swallowing again, he moaned at the salty aftertaste that coated his tongue, his cunt throbbing with need.

“Jesus Christ, Steve, how is it you never mentioned you give head like you’re fucking made for it?” Eddie panted, his voice high as he swallowed hard, trying to catch his breath.

“Flatterer,” Steve managed to choke out, blushing.

“Steve, you just sucked my soul out of my cock, don’t be fucking modest,” Eddie laughed, lifting his hands to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes. “We didn’t even make it to my bunk, Steve. I had everything set up, then you came in here and got on your knees like the perfect wet dream you are, and you’re gonna act like you don’t know exactly how good you are?”

Steve was beside himself at the praise, his dick so hard against his soaked boxers he could hardly stand it.

When Eddie finally looked back down at him, he let out a soft moan and Steve could see his cock give a valiant twitch. Steve preened under the implied praise, sliding his fingers up through the mess cooling on his throat and chin and sucking them into his mouth. It was filthy, and if it wasn’t for the hunger that darkened Eddie’s expression, Steve would’ve been embarrassed for doing it at all.

“We need to get horizontal if we wanna keep going, Stevie,” Eddie gasped, and Steve noticed for the first time how much Eddie’s leg was shaking.

“Oh, shit, sorry—” Steve started, his face growing hot.

“Do not apologize for giving me literally the best orgasm in my entire life,” Eddie interrupted, and Steve grabbed his leg and slung it over his shoulder. “Fuck, baby, see there you are being sweet and shit—why are you still down there anyway, big boy?”

“Honestly, I’m so fucking wet right now, I’m afraid to move,” Steve admitted, but it was only partially true. He mostly just liked looking up at Eddie when he was like that, soft with post-orgasm bliss and blushing.

“Jesus, you can’t just say that shit to me—I need you to get into my bunk while I sort my brain out. Through the curtain there, bottom one on the left,” Eddie said in a rush, covering his eyes again while he took a deep breath.

Smirking, Steve carefully slipped away and disappeared behind the curtain. He could hear Eddie muttering to himself back near the kitchenette—“He has to be a demon, an incubus or something, he can’t actually be real.”—and Steve couldn’t help his self-satisfied grin. Eddie hadn’t said anything about how he wanted Steve, so he quickly stripped out of his clothes, using his shirt to wipe off his chin a bit, before crawling into Eddie’s bunk. As a final touch, Steve closed the privacy curtains on the bunk and lounged back, spreading his legs lewdly.

As he heard Eddie shuffle through the curtain to the bunks and start removing his own clothes, Steve laced his fingers behind his head and arched his back, spreading his legs even wider and tipping his head back to look at the ceiling of the bunk.

“Why’d you close the curtain, Ste-eeve oh my God.”

Steve looked down his nose at Eddie who had just opened the curtains and was halfway in the bunk. His eyes were tracking the line of Steve’s body, his cheeks turning pink as they landed and froze on his cunt.

“See something you like, Eds?” Steve asked sweetly, lowering his hand to run two fingers along the slit of his hole, separating the lips and shaking as he felt more slick trickle out. Framing his dick with his fingers, he gently squeezed and tugged, shuddering with a soft moan.

Eddie clambered into the bunk, barely reacting when he very obviously hit his own head on the top of the opening. Before Steve could react fully, Eddie was on his stomach between his legs, using his face to push Steve’s hand out of the way. As Steve pulled his hand back, Eddie strained upward and caught his fingers in his mouth, sucking them deep and groaning.

Breathlessly, Steve pushed them as deep as he could without gagging Eddie, pressing down on his tongue when Eddie’s eyes rolled back with a moan. That was very interesting, and Steve would be happy to investigate that another time. Gently, he pulled his fingers out of Eddie’s mouth and buried them in his hair, firmly guiding Eddie’s face between his legs.

Without hesitation, Eddie took Steve’s dick into his mouth with a filthy moan, sucking on it gently, sweetly even. Steve arched his back again as pleasure shot through his gut, his thighs squeezing around Eddie’s head a bit. Sighing, Steve crossed his ankles on Eddie’s back, both hands in his hair to keep him in place.

From the blissed-out expression on Eddie’s face, Steve didn’t think he actually had to work that hard to keep him right there, sucking and licking messily at his dick. 

Steve knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help it, sighing at the heavy-lidded and dazed look that overcame Eddie’s blushing face. Eddie’s brow furrowed and he whined as he ran his tongue around his dick, then focused his efforts on the hood.

Steve arched sharply with a cry when Eddie worked the hood back and teased Steve’s frenulum with his tongue. At his cry, Eddie whimpered and doubled his efforts, opening his eyes lazily to meet Steve’s gaze, his expression hazy.

“Fuck, Eds, feels so good,” Steve sighed, breathless as his release gently built. Sighing happily, Eddie dropped his chin a bit to lap into Steve’s cunt before returning to his dick.

Grunting, Eddie shifted his weight on his elbows and lifted his mouth a bit. “S’okay if I finger you?” he asked and Steve nodded almost frantically.

“You can absolutely finger me, Eds,” he groaned, biting his lip as Eddie pressed two fingers inside.

Eddie’s fingers were thicker than Steve’s, so two of them caused a bit of a stretch that had him whining and spreading his legs. Something seemed to snap between them, and Eddie turned his face to bite and suck several marks into the soft skin of Steve’s inner thigh. Steve groaned as he did, rocking his hips to fuck himself on Eddie’s fingers, shuddering when the man pressed a third finger inside him.

Moaning breathlessly, Steve blinked hazily down at Eddie, startling when their gazes locked while Eddie mouthed his way down Steve’s thigh. He scraped his teeth along the way, teasing with soft bites before marking him up with a dark hickey. Steve was beside himself, tears springing to his eyes as he rocked desperately down onto the fingers fucking into him.

Then Eddie crooked his fingers perfectly into Steve’s g-spot and he cried out sharply, arching off the bed with babbled nonsense, mostly praise and pleas for more and “right there, Eds, don’t stop, God, please don’t stop.”

With a chuckle, Eddie went to pull his fingers out and Steve reached down to grab his wrist, so quickly that he seemed to actually startle the man.

“Why’re you stopping?” Steve asked, breathless with his want, desperately on the edge and shaking with his need to come. “I didn’t tease you,” he added with a pout, and Eddie laughed.

“Stevie, I’m just—I’m so fucking hard again, I was just gonna adjust myself,” Eddie explained, and Steve groaned, tipping his head back and letting go of Eddie’s wrist.

“Sorry, just—fuck, I’m so close,” Steve complained, throwing his arm over his eyes while he waited for Eddie’s fingers to return.

“All good, gorgeous,” Eddie hummed, turning his face to mark Steve’s other thigh up as he slid his fingers back into Steve’s cunt. “Good to know you’re a brat when you’re being edged,” he murmured against Steve’s skin.

“Not a brat,” Steve argued, but his petulance was short-lived when Eddie found his g-spot and worked it relentlessly with his fingertips.

Steve couldn’t help the loud, sharp cries that exploded from his throat as Eddie fucked his fingers in and out of him, finding his sweet spot on every slide in, his accuracy terrible and perfect. With both hands in Eddie’s hair, Steve dragged him back onto his dick, grinding it up into Eddie’s mouth when the man immediately began to suck it perfectly.

Eddie’s wicked tongue flicked at the head before slipping under the hood and caressing his frenulum again at the same time he massaged Steve’s g-spot, earning himself noises that could only be described as screams. Steve’s orgasm was barreling forward, his stomach tense and cunt squeezing around Eddie’s fingers, and Eddie wasn’t slowing down. The sounds Eddie’s mouth was making on Steve’s dick, his fingers inside Steve’s cunt, were obscene in how wet it all was.

Then Eddie nipped at Steve’s dick and the flash of almost-pain made him gasp, his cunt pulsing out another gush of slick. With a growly chuckle, Eddie did it again and Steve threw his head back, sobbing through his orgasm as his thighs clamped down hard around Eddie’s head.

Even though he came, Eddie didn’t stop, almost didn’t even seem to register that Steve came with the way he kept going against his g-spot, nipping and sucking his dick with even more determination. Steve shook under the attention, another release building quickly on the aftershocks of the first, his moans coming out in shattered whimpers. He knew his hands in Eddie’s hair must be painful, but Eddie didn’t complain, just sucked and bit at his dick happily, rutting against the bed with a moan of his own.

When Steve came again, he arched so sharply he nearly sat up, practically wailing into the heated air of the bunk. Tears were streaming down his face as he convulsed with each wave of his release, sobbing when Eddie still didn’t stop, his eyes gazing up the length of his body. It was too much—the mouth, the fingers, Eddie’s big brown eyes looking up at him, watching him shake and cry and beg—but Steve couldn’t bring himself to stop it either.

Steve babbled for mercy, pleading with Eddie while holding his pretty mouth against his dick, fingers tangled viciously in his long curls.

Eddie chuckled against him and shifted his weight on his elbows. The fingers in Steve’s cunt withdrew, and he whined shakily as his cunt grasped desperately around nothing. Then Steve felt pressure against his ass, just enough to get his attention.

When Steve looked down at Eddie, eyes wild and entire body shaking, Eddie swiveled his finger around Steve’s hole questioningly. “S’okay?” he mumbled against Steve’s dick, and despite his earlier pleas, Steve was nodding desperately.

Eddie wasted no time pressing one thick, long finger inside, the slide smooth with the slick from his cunt, but just barely wet enough. Fucking the finger in and out, Eddie bullied a second one in, winding Steve with the slightly painful stretch. With two thick fingers in Steve’s ass, Eddie pulled away from his dick to shove three fingers of his other hand into Steve’s empty cunt.

With a sob, Steve rocked his hips down onto Eddie’s fingers, shuddering at the smoothness of the fingers in his cunt and the rough drag of the fingers in his ass.

“Let’s get you nice and stretched out,” Eddie murmured, mostly to himself, and pushed the third wet finger into his hole.

It hurt, deliciously so, and Steve threw his head back with a pitiful sob. He was so close to coming, even with the aching stretch in his ass, almost especially because of the stretch, and he could barely breathe with it.

With that, Eddie lowered his mouth to rest around Steve’s dick, doing nothing for a moment. Then he spread his fingers slightly at the same moment the digits in his cunt crooked up, and his teeth scraped across the head of his dick.

Steve came nearly silently that time, his eyes rolling back as his breath got caught between a hiss and a groan. When he came back to himself, he was letting out little gasping sobs with each wave of his orgasm, both hands shoving at Eddie’s head as the pleasure became jagged momentarily. Eddie smugly pulled away, grinning up at him as Steve rocked his hips down onto the fingers still inside him, whimpering and crying as he came down.

“Eddie, please, need a break—” Steve gasped, and he whined at how empty he was when Eddie pulled his fingers out of both holes. “Holy fuck.”

“You can say that again,” Eddie laughed, his hair a wild mess from Steve’s hands and his chin shiny with his slick.

Steve was struck with the need to lick that mess up and kiss the man that made him feel so good he might as well have been floating. With a jolt, Steve realized they hadn’t kissed yet this whole time, and he whined softly. He had to fix that immediately.

“C’mup here,” he practically sobbed, and Eddie acquiesced instantly.

The moment Eddie’s face was level with his, Steve began laying open-mouthed kisses along Eddie's chin and cheeks, lapping up his mess and dodging Eddie’s lips. Finally, Steve couldn’t tease any longer and, holding Eddie’s face with both hands, pulled Eddie into a hungry, gasping kiss.

It was perfect, literally everything Steve had dreamed their first kiss would be and more. With Eddie on top of him, nestled between Steve’s shivering thighs and melting into him, Steve couldn’t think of a better way for that moment to be happening.

Steve sobbed against Eddie’s mouth as the man licked past his lips, meeting his questing tongue as he wrapped his legs around Eddie’s waist. With a groan, Eddie rocked his thick cock against Steve’s hip, dragging another wanton sound from Steve. He wanted that length inside him, he wanted to feel the stretch of that cock against the walls of his cunt, wanted to feel hollowed out by it. Steve needed to feel the heat of Eddie’s release inside him.

“Fuck me,” Steve whined against Eddie’s mouth, moving his hips to try and position Eddie’s cock, but he couldn’t get the angle right. “Please, Eds, want it—”

Groaning, Eddie pulled back. “Okay, slow down, let’s just take a deep breath for a second,” he suggested, and Steve froze underneath him, afraid he misinterpreted something at some point. Picking up on Steve’s budding anxiety, Eddie said, “I just need a drink really quick, maybe wash my hands. I will gladly fuck you into this mattress, baby. Been dreaming of doing just that since, like mid-May.”

Steve laughed sheepishly, unwinding his legs from around Eddie’s waist and letting him get up. “Okay, that’s—yeah, maybe cooling down for a second makes sense,” he admitted, his thighs still shaking from his own earth-shattering orgasms just a few minutes before.

Eddie was quick with washing up, and he brought two plastic bottles of water back to the bunk, handing one to Steve who drank his gratefully. When Eddie reached into a drawer underneath his bed and pulled out a strip of condoms, Steve frowned but quickly looked away to school his expression into something less selfish. If Eddie preferred to use a condom, that was fine. Steve wasn’t about to pitch a fit over a guy valuing safe sex.

“Hey, wait, what was that?”

Steve jumped when Eddie turned his face back toward him, frowning teasingly.

“What?” Steve asked, closing his water bottle and fiddling with it in his lap.

“You looked all disappointed. What’s up?” Eddie asked, cupping Steve’s face gently in his hands. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just—I was—fuck this is so hard to say out loud when I’m not too horny to fucking think,” Steve complained, screwing his eyes shut as he blurted out, “I got really excited thinking about you coming inside me, so when I saw the condoms I just—the condoms are fine, we can absolutely use one, I was just briefly a little sad, and—”

“Holy shit, Stevie, I only grabbed the condoms because I didn’t want to assume you’d be cool with that, or there weren’t any, y’know, risks,” Eddie said, and Steve dropped his hand to smirk at him.

“Risks?” Steve asked, enjoying the way Eddie blushed.

“The last guy with a pussy that I fucked could still get knocked up if we weren’t careful, so yeah, y’know, risks,” Eddie said in a rush, scrubbing the back of his neck.

Steve smiled and reached forward to bury his hand in Eddie’s hair, pulling him in for a slow, sweet kiss. With a sigh, Steve slowly laid back in the bunk, coaxing Eddie on top of him and back between his legs. Groaning softly, Steve pulled away to meet Eddie’s eyes heatedly.

“No risk of that with me, promise,” Steve said quietly as he reached down between them to position the head of Eddie’s cock against the wet seam of his cunt. With a mischievous smirk, Steve added, “Happy to let you fuck me raw as often as you want, though. Try and make it stick?”

Eddie groaned and dropped his head onto Steve’s shoulder. “Fuck, baby, you can’t just say shit like that,” he practically whimpered before kissing and nipping Steve’s collarbone.

Sighing, Steve stroked Eddie’s cock, the head of it pressed against his entrance and driving him insane. With a shuddering sigh, Eddie’s hips rocked forward and the tip of his cock slid inside.

Steve wasn’t tight by any means, but it had been a while since Steve had taken an actual cock, and he didn’t use thick toys when he took care of himself. That all said, even though Steve wasn’t tight, Eddie was still thick, so the stretch wasn’t possible to ignore.

Breathing through it, Steve clutched at Eddie’s back and whimpered as Eddie rocked his hips forward, sliding inside inch by inch.

After a few moments of that, Eddie lifted his head to kiss Steve deeply, licking into his mouth and swallowing his soft sounds at each short slide inside him. Humming, Eddie tipped his head to sing directly into his ear, “Let the Devil in…”

Steve jolted at the singing, feeling his cunt grow slicker at hearing Eddie’s singing so close to his ear. Not only that but he recognized the lyrics as being from one of Eddie’s songs.

“Fuck, Eds, I’m trying,” Steve whined, dropping his head back on the pillow.

Grunting, Eddie asked, “Does it hurt?”

Steve considered the question and shook his head, gasping as Eddie rocked a little deeper. “N-no, it’s not.”

“Alright, let me know if this is too much,” Eddie said thickly, and with a soft whine, Eddie snapped his hips forward, hilting hard and fast against the lips of Steve’s cunt.

Steve arched up against Eddie with a punched-out cry, going cross-eyed at how full he suddenly felt. Eddie didn’t give him much of a chance to recover his full brain capacity before he set a brutal pace.

It was intense, the way Eddie moved against him, grunting with each slap of his hips against Steve’s core, his cock fucking Steve deep and perfect. The sounds of Eddie’s cock sliding in and out of his cunt had Steve blushing all the way to his chest. Again, everything sounded so wet and messy, and if Steve had the ability to care he would be embarrassed about it.

As it was, Steve was too busy trying to catch his breath, his moans coming out in short little cries with every plunging thrust into his core while Eddie sucked marks into the skin of his throat.

“Eds,” Steve sobbed, clutching at Eddie’s back as the man hissed and fucked him harder, faster. “Eddie, please.”

“Please, what, gorgeous?” Eddie asked breathlessly, lifting his head to kiss Steve deeply, pressing their tongues together before Steve could answer.

They gasped into each other’s mouths for what felt like hours while Eddie’s hips pounded against him, his thick cock spearing his cunt in an almost punishing pace. Steve whimpered as the coil of his release pulled taut in his gut, his toes curling with the impending force of it.

“Eddie, so close,” he managed to sob, the words muddled around Eddie’s tongue, his breath hitching with each hard push inside him. “Eddie, please, please, please.”

“What do you need, baby?” Eddie grunted, whimpering as he shuddered above Steve, his body shaking with his own approaching orgasm.

“Your hand—my dick, please, Eds, please,” Steve gasped desperately, his eyes rolling back as Eddie pushed all the way in and stopped moving.

With a low groan, Eddie propped himself on one hand above Steve, keeping himself hilted inside his cunt as he got a hand between them to work Steve’s dick between two fingers.

Steve stared up at Eddie, watching him as he loomed above him and focused on getting him off, his eyes closed and kiss-reddened mouth hanging open and panting. Eddie’s curls hung around his face in damp, sweaty ringlets, swinging with the frantic motions of his arm while he dragged Steve closer and closer to his release. Slowly Eddie’s eyes opened to meet his, his gaze hooded and heavy. Eddie refused to look away, as if he wanted to watch the moment Steve came undone, wanted to see him fall apart at the seams.

And who was Steve to deny him that?

With a broken sob, Steve arched off the bed, nails dragging across Eddie’s back as his cunt clenched almost painfully around the cock sitting deep inside him. The sound Eddie let loose was guttural, something Steve almost felt more than he heard, and soon Eddie was moving.

Eddie fucked him, harder and faster than before, driving into Steve’s spasming, wet hole with brutal thrusts that punched little, gasping screams out of him. It dragged his orgasm out, making Steve feel like it would never end, like Eddie was about to keep him there in that blissful, sensitive, painful place until he died.

Then Eddie’s rhythm stuttered, the thrusts growing erratic against him and Steve forced his eyes open. Eddie had hung his head, in a way that hid his face behind his curtain of hair, and Steve couldn’t have that.

Whining, Steve grabbed Eddie’s face, tilting it back up and pushing his hair out of the way. Eddie’s expression was soft, so needy and beautiful that Steve felt close to tears. Steve stroked his cheek with a thumb, and Eddie sighed, turning his head to kiss Steve’s palm softly.

The way Steve’s heart stuttered in his chest at that sweet gesture had tears springing to Steve’s eyes.

“Come for me, Eds, please, wanna feel it,” Steve murmured, breathless as Eddie’s eyes rolled back and his cock settled deep inside him one last time.

Steve moaned thickly as he felt the warm bloom of Eddie’s release inside him, Eddie letting out those perfect whimpers with each hot pulse into Steve’s cunt.

With a shaky breath, Eddie pulled out and flopped onto the mattress beside Steve, gasping for breath. Steve swallowed thickly around his own heavy breathing and looked over at him, smiling shyly when he found Eddie staring at him.

“How are you real?” Eddie asked, his voice awed and impossibly soft, as if they hadn’t been fucking like animals for what felt like hours.

“Could ask you the same thing, Eds,” Steve replied, rolling onto his side and shivering as he felt some of Eddie’s load trickle out of him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been fucked that good.”

Eddie laughed out loud at that, wiggling close to kiss Steve sweetly. “Same,” he agreed in a little whisper before a yawn overtook him. “Fuck, I’m sorry, the night’s catching up to me.”

Steve laughed and pulled away, reaching over the side of the bed to grab his boxers and slip them back on. “Let’s get you to bed then,” Steve said with a bright smile, even as exhaustion tugged at him too.

The two of them got dressed again, Eddie letting Steve borrow a shirt since his own had been thoroughly wrecked earlier. They got distracted a couple times when they would kiss each other and make-out a bit, but overall they managed to get dressed without any incidents. Even when Steve shivered at the sensation of Eddie’s cum trickling out of him and answered honestly when Eddie asked him what was up.

“Fuck, if I was able to get it up again tonight…” Eddie trailed off before kissing Steve soundly and pulling away.

Steve walked Eddie most of the way back to the hotel, holding his hand with their fingers tangled together. It felt perfect, natural even, walking with Eddie and holding hands, and it broke Steve’s heart to stop short of reaching the lobby.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Eddie asked quietly, almost shyly as he wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist and pulled him close.

“Yeah, of course,” Steve replied with a grin, winding his arms around Eddie’s neck and pulling him in for a soft, chaste kiss. “Wouldn’t miss our actual date,” he teased, and Eddie laughed loudly.

“Holy fuck, we actually did everything backwards, huh?” he said, laughing again when Steve nodded.

“Yeah, we kinda did. But I don’t mind, if you don’t,” Steve replied, and Eddie beamed at him.

“Not at all,” Eddie agreed before leaning in for a searching kiss, stealing the breath from Steve’s lungs.

[ NEXT ]

[ READ ON AO3 ]

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider reblogging! Taglist! @patchworkgargoyle, @kazalohiku, @ent-is-indecisive, @steddierthings, @xenon-demon, @mylilplanet, @hellion-child, @scarcrossdlvrs, @steddieas-shegoes, @plskillmemrghostface, @theheadlessphilosopher, @scoops-stevie, @bangarangdarling, @inairbinad, @stobinesque, @2btheanswertothequestion, @starryeyedjanai, @spookednsaucy, @honeysucklesinger, @indigohightide, @afewproblems, @mightbeasleep, @thegingerrapunzel, @pluckedstrings, @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx, @steddie-there Join the taglist by reblogging and expressing interest in keeping up in the tags or reblog comments!!!

[constellama]

re: the post you sent in the discord

part 1: first thoughts

brosenthal as scar? incredible

with joey as mumbo all i can think about is owen in a suit and idk if my gay ass can handle that

lauren as grian. brosenthal and lauren cactus ring... yeah i can see it lmao. WAIT RICHPEZ AS GRUMBO LMAOOOOOO THE FUCKIN. "WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS" SCENE OH MY GODDDD

jeff can definitely make tango noises

holden as joel... fuck it he deserves to go off the rails. i wanna see him in joel's goofy ass red wizard fit from last life

dylan as martyn... yeah dylan would get tormented by the watchers and break our hearts the same way martyn does. also dylan and joey as the ahasbands 10/10 dynamic

mariah as lizzie... ough i love it. with brian holden as joel that would be Such an energy for jizzie. also with the other brian as scar the secret life cow scene would be Iconic

joe as jimmy... i don't fully agree with this but the visuals of 1) jeff and joe ranchers and 2) dylan and joe big dogs are both absolutely legendary

jon does have bdubs energy but the whitewashing... /nm (also would pay money to watch jon and jeff reenact the b.e.s.t. betrayal lol) (also also jon's too tall lmao)

curt as impulse? oh absolutely 100% i am So here for it. joey, lauren, dylan, joe and curt as the southlands? I 👏 CON 👏 IC 👏. also jon and curt impdubs double life dynamic? amazing. incredible. we know curt can play gay so it's jon's turn

JAIME AS PEARL. 5am pearl jaime... brother i am GAY. also the mounders energy of joey, jon, brian h and jaime? incredible

Regarding THIS POST

- I don’t think I’ve seen enough of brosenthal’s acting BUT IM GONNA TRUST YOU AND OP ON THIS

- IM SOOO NORMAL ABOUT THIS. OH MY GOD. If you’ve seen any of the spy another day concert screenshots THEN YOU KNOW. The mustache, the Owen accent oh my god

- RICHPEZ GRUMBO WITH THE WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS YESSS LITERALLY INSANE. Lauren as Grian just makes SO much sense to me like yes. It’s just perfect in a way where you never thought of it but now that it’s presented to you it just makes sense.

- I do not know enough about tango but absolutely the energy feels like it’s there. Tango is deranged enough to make decked out and Jeff is just deranged in general so I GET YOU

- op mentioned junior’s energy being similar to joel AND YESS I SO GET IT

- dylan as martyn,,,, good lord this is gonna make me insane. I need you to imagine that last line martyn had in limited life but dylan instead. Do you see the vision.

- MARIAH AS LIZZIE ABSOLUTE PERFECTION, NO NOTES. Literally the best part of the post

- I also cannot see Joe as Jimmy but then again i don’t know Joe’s range of acting. Again, I haven’t watched all of the non-hatchetfield starkid shows so maybe it fits better than I think it does idk

- ooo yeah you’re right :/ what are your thoughts on James Tolbert as Bdubs? There’s that specific face he makes in adore me in Black Friday that reminds me so much of the Bdubs Smile ™️

- Curt as impulse AGAIN, PERFECT. idk much about impulse but like. I can see it so clearly

- JAIME AS PEARL OHGGUHH YESSS. She would be able to do the scarlet Pearl arc SO WELL I JUST KNOW IT

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Why did you elbow me? 214

Achilles Castle part 116

Lemonade and lies Part 59

Nicholas (Nick) Stephen McSwarek undercover part 23

Lanie: pov this first photo a nurse took, it's her in the CICU with the breathing tube in, she had it in for a week to help her left lung and until she woke up. I'm pausing because the photos go by so fast. During her first bandaged change the nurse chose to take a photo for us of her injuries/future scars and one with the bandage on.

Parker: pov wow that is one insane injury I can't believe you survived that, Stana says me either. Lanie mentions Stana told her something after waking up.

Stana: pov As I was dying in the ambulance and the OR, I saw my mother and she told me to keep fighting.

Parker: pov you saw your mother? Lanie tells me Stana's mom died in 1999. Oh that makes sense, I guess she was looking out for you.

Lanie: pov A few photos of upset friends and family members go by. The nurse took this photo a few minutes after Stana was awake and the breathing tube was out at this point she still had the chest tube and monitors.

Pamela: pov what is this blurry video of?

Lanie: pov it's her first echocardiogram after the shooting, it's an ultrasound of her heart. The Dr's/surgeon wanted to see if everything looked okay and that they didn't miss anything important.

Jeff: pov hey Lanie what are those weird spots on the echo thing, ultrasound whatever it's called. Are they internal stitches or something else.

Lanie: pov yes they are. A few more photos go by, after the first month in the hospital Stana said she needed space and went to her dad's cabin after being released. The hospital sent a home Healthcare person to be with them in the beginning.

Kate/Stana: pov I had to wear that annoying heart monitor that thing, wouldn’t stop beeping and got tangled in everything. Barton comments how I'm looking much better in these photos.

Lanie: pov Here comes her first steps. The ultrasound video from the special test is on her also, I was in the room with her during the test. It was scary to properly diagnose her. They insert a catheter and induce arrhythmia, Stans says which doesn't feel great at all.

Parker: pov I can't believe she had to learn to walk again. Barton says It's time to get back to work and if Stana needs a few extra minutes she can have them.

Kate/Stana: pov I just want to go back to work to take my mind off of everything that just happened. Lanie mentions if I'm okay she is going to head back to work since perlmutter is filling in for her. Nick is picking me up after work. The rest of the day goes okay. Parker and Pamela, who are dating, invited me and Greig to an outdoor concert tonight saying it will also have food. I will have to think about it. It's hit or miss with loud noises. I wouldn't want to ruin it for everyone by having an episode.

Ryan: pov I'm getting a frantic call from Jenny who says she thinks something is in the backyard she saw movement, she thinks it's a cat. Since Esposito is driving I have him drive me over there. We both got out and looked around in the backyard where Jenny saw the cat. It's definitely a stray cat, she says the cat looks pregnant. I tell her to take it to the vet to make sure it's okay and that it doesn't have a family.

Jenny: pov I grab a box and put an old blanket in it, Esposito puts the cat in it, I look up local vets near me.

Esposito: pov by Jenny keeps us updated, me and Ryan head back to the squad car. We are still on shift.

Jenny: pov the drive to the vets office is short, the receptionist is very nice. I find a spot to sit and wait for my name to be called, it eventually is. In the exam room the vet tech starts asking me a bunch of questions which I answer as best I can. Marcus checks to see if she has a microchip which she doesn't. An ultrasound is going to be done to double check that she is actually pregnant, how many babies she will have and how far along is she. Marcus says she is definitely pregnant with 7 babies due any day now. I ask if I can keep her. He said sure let me make some phone calls. He is back in the room with some paperwork for me to fill out. The vet gave me a basket of stuff for her and told me it's okay to take her to the pet store while I get a few things since I want to keep her. I already called Ryan and discussed this with him.

Castle: pov an author friend of mine invited me out to dinner tonight then we are going to the movies. I've been so bored today and not in the mood to write. It's hard not having Kate here. She is my inspiration/muse. Maybe this will take my mind off of her not being here.

Officer Nicholas (Nick) Stephen McSwarek/Greig: pov me and Kovitch got a lot done while Kate is at work, I check the messages on my phone and realize I have some missed calls and text from lanie and Barton. I call Lanie to ask what happened and she explains everything to me saying Kate is fine and leaving work at a normal time.

Jenny: pov I don't want to stress out the cat so I make sure the trip is quick, a nice employee helps me out. Sarah Grace is going to be so excited when she gets home from school. Back home I'm setting up an area in the house for her. Will still need to pick a name. It's hard being pregnant, at least she has a safe place to live. To be continued. …….

[fluffyzhana]

Alright fine

So, to start, I need to go over the difference between a speaker and a step speaker. With a speaker, you can tell Alexa something like, "Set the volume to 26" and it will be set to 26. But sometimes, you don't know the scale on an audio device, because there's no real industry standard for that. So, instead you use a step speaker. All that does is raise or lower the volume by a number of steps.

Okay, we good? We good.

So, when you tell Alexa to raise the volume by 12, it will send me a command that says, in a more technical way, "Change volume of device ABCD by positive 6". The actual JSON message isn't important, just know that this is all the important information that is sent. This is fine. This works perfect if I want to spend the extra effort to increase the volume by a very specific amount. However, what happens when I just want to tell Alexa, "Turn up the volume?" By how much do you think it should increase? 1? 2? Maybe 5?

No, by default, Alexa thinks that the volume should be increased by a whopping 10.

Now, I want you to imagine for a moment. You're playing music on your speakers. Your speakers go from 1-10, with 1 unit intervals in between. It's a little quiet, so you tell Alexa, turn up the volume. Suddenly, your eardrums are being blown out by the sound of your music. You cry out to your Echo device "ALEXA! TURN DOWN THE VOLUME" but she can't hear you over the noise complaint you just created for yourself. Quick on your feet, you whip out your phone and type in, "Alexa, turn down the volume" and suddenly, nothing. No music seems to be playing at all. You lean into the speakers, try to unmute, try to play music, but you don't hear anything. Confused, you make the mistake of turning up your volume once more. You feel blood trickle down the side of your face as the last thing you ever hear is Smash Mouth, promptly followed by a loud pop.

Sure, call this an extreme example, but seriously, this is dangerous.

So, you may be asking at this point, "why not just change the default?" With that question, my dear reader, you have already proven yourself more competent than the Jeff Bozos who wrote this code, because you CAN'T.

There is no way to actually change that default value. Maybe interpret the default value on the program's sid--Nope! There is absolutely no difference in the command Alexa sends between "Increase the volume" and "Increase the volume by 10."

If you don't believe me, here's the documents! They're open for anyone to read! Tell me where, anywhere, does it give any possible way to change the default value? Nowhere! Absolute. Insanity.

How it has gone this long without anyone calling them out is beyond me. I've tried posting to their forums. It's a ghost town of questions with no answers. An endless line of people desperately begging silent walls for a response.

Fuck Alexa.

Alexa Skills Kit broke the color purple and it pisses me off to no end.

[mythicalmyles]

hi there ! your writing is literally like a saving grace to me 🥺🫶🏼! could i request Jeff with a younger male reader? + breeding, forced orgasm, punishment, & yandere

i was thinking maybe MC is considered super gullible and innocent. yknow, the shtick! thank you so much if you get to this!! i hope you have a great day (🫧 )

I like da way u think and im so glad ypu like my stuff that means sm i lov u🥹 hope u enjoy also i hope u dm me doing force squirting instead <3

(Name) sat quietly at his desk, headphones blaring through his ear drums. He sniffled and shuffled position in his chair before skipping a few songs before finally settling on one.

His eyes flicked to the time, 4.07 am. A breath shot out his nose as he flopped back against his chair, he should fix this. Instead he shook his head and continued staring past his computer, thoughts running through his head.

His thoughts always ended up on an old friend, Jeffery Woods. It felt like some distant fever dream, but it had happened. Sometimes he morned the loss of his old friend but fear would be quick to fill him after, the authorities had long lost count of his bodies.

(Name) wrapped his arms around himself as he felt his body tremor, dread filling his stomach. A horrible feeling filled his body, he couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt like a cornered mouse.

Hands gripping his shoulders had a scream tearing through the room, (Name) didn’t care how girly he might’ve sounded as terror filled every inch of his body causing him to lock in place.

He let out a winded yelp as he fell back with the chair, thankful for the cushioning. His eyes shot open and whatever noise he had began to make died in his throat when (e/c) eyes met blue.

Hed recognise those eyes anywhere, part of him quickly began to berate himself for thinking about this so much. “Hello sunshine.” Jeffs voice was completely different, not only was it deeper then last time they’d spoken but it held this tone of insanity in it.

(Name) knew he was fucked up, all the murders, the self mutilation it all had to go back to that day. (Name) quickly jumped up, trying to run around Jeff but failing as the other threw him onto his bed.

“Come in now, is that anyway to great an old friend?” Jeff laughed before quickly jumping on top of (Name), hands quickly restraining the younger. “Please Jeff, i didn’t have anything to do with that.” (Name) begged, eyes tearing up as he searched for anything on Jeff’s face.

Jeff giggled and shook his head. “I know that, silly.” Jeff’s tone was condescending as he stared down at the smaller boy trapped under him. “I'm not here to hurt you.. Much." He grinned and (Name) closed his eyes, his panic almost too much for himself to hand.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." (Name) blinked his eyes open, looking at Jeff's serious face. He let out a breath and relaxed in Jeff's grip. "What do you-" Jeff was quick to cut him off. "Don't worry about it." His thumbs lightly rubbed against (Names) wrist. "Plus, i only hurt bad people."

(Name) frowned but before he could speak Jeff continued. "I do research into the people i hurt and they deserve it, but the news would never tell you that." (Name) bit his lip, his dad had always raved on about people spying on them and that no one could be trusted.

"I would never hurt an innocent person." Jeff's face stayed serious as he lied through his teeth, (Name) ate it up. "What about your parents? Liu?" (Name) questioned, Jeff did his best to hide his aggrivation at the twenty questions he was suddenly being levied with but he sucked it up.

"Mom and dad... They. My face.." Was all Jeff said before bursting into tears, (Name) quick to hug him. "It's okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore, im sorry." Once (Name) apologised Jeff knew he had him, quick to hid his smirk by dipping his head down.

He pushed his head into (Names) neck who shivered as his breath touched him. Jeff moved his knees closer to his body, causing (Names) legs to spread around his waist. Jeff grinned as he felt the others breathing pick up.

Jeff pushed the others shirt up as his hand moved up (Names) stomach to begin flicking his nipple. A shocked gasp left him as he gripped Jeff's wrist, doing nothing to stop the stronger man. "Jeff, wait no." (Name) panicked as Jeff shushed him, his mouth moving to play with his other nipple.

A strangled moan left (Name) as Jeff's tongue circled his bud, he shook his head as his breathing became laboured. "Jeff, no." He tried to say more sternly, Jeff chuckled in response and kept assaulting his nipples.

Moans fell from (Names) lips as he tried to pull Jeffs hand away from his nipple. He paused to squeeze Jeffs wrist as his back arched and his eyes rolled. Jeff stopped only to make his way down (Names) stomach, slurping against his skin as he moved down. "Please." (Name) moaned out as Jeff pulled down his boxers, Jeff smirked.

"Want more already." A small cry left (Name) as he shook his head. "No-ahhh please stop." Jeff laughed as he easily flipped the smaller boy onto his stomach. Jeff stuck his fingers into (Names) mouth, fucking his throat for a few seconds as drool coated him. "Good boy." Jeff cooed as he pushed a finger into (Name).

A broken cry flew from his lips as Jeffs finger sank into him. "God, so tight pretty boy." A whimper left (Name). "Jeff please, you don't have to do this." (Name) begged through his moans. "I want to." Was all Jeff replied before pushing another finger in. (Names) moans raised in pitch as Jeff used his free hand to grip his hip and pull him back onto his fingers.

Jeff spotted lotion on the side table and quickly scooped it up, (Name) tried to run but Jeff was quick to dive on top of him. "C'mon baby, it's gonna feel so good." (Name) just shook his head and shivered as Jeff coated his cock in lotion. Jeff didn't waste time before pushing into the smaller, he let out a loud groan as his cock was gripped.

"So tight, so good." Was all Jeff could say before he gripped (Names) hips and began fucking him. (Name) let out a cry at the intrusion, Jeff's cock filling him more then he could bare. A strangled moan left him as Jeff roughly fucked into him, he could feel his own cock harden as Jeff assaulted his prostate.

Loud moans filled the room along with the sound of skin slapping as Jeff took him roughly. "Gonna breed you up pretty boy, fill you up with so much cum. You'd look so pretty full of my babies." (Name) gasped and flushed, his cock twitched at Jeffs words.

He shook his head though, quick to protest. "Shut up, what are you really gonna do pretty baby? I have my cock deep in this pretty little ass of yours. You're mine now." (Name) sobbed, he couldn't tell at this point if it was because of how good he felt right now or if he really didn't want what Jeff said.

"I should've taken you when i first say you, you looked so pretty." (Names) mouth opened, not sure what he was going to respond before a weird stabbing feeling filled his stomach. Panic filled him as he began fighting against Jeff again. "No, Jeff. Please, i'm begging, you need to stop please." (Name) begged as weird feeling filled his stomach and cock, he could swear he was about to piss himself.

He kept begging, instead jeff ignored him and grabbed his arms. He pulled them behind (Names) back as his hand gripped (Names) neck. Jeff gripped hard as he continued to slam into (Names) prostate, (Name) let out a loud scream as he squirted, his own liquid coating him.

(Name) sobbed, embarrassment flushing him, Jeff paused to smile in glee. "I've never seen a man actually do it!" He cheered, (Name) sniffled before turning around to Jeff. Jeff swore before gripping the others hair and connecting their lips. He pulled out and dove on top of (Name), their bodies flush together as Jeff pushed his cock back into (Names) hole.

(Name) moaned weakly as Jeff praised him, continuing to thrust his cock into the already spent boy. (Name) burned with over sensativity but it also felt so good all he could do was lie back and take what Jeff threw at him.

Jeff grinned as the other fully relaxed and submitted. "Such a good boy, so pretty." Jeff cooed as he ran one of his hands through the others hair. It didn't take too long for (Names) moans to pick up and for his to struggle again. "Not again, please." Jeff shut him up but pressing his lips to the others as he picked up his thrusts, his own climax coming close.

(Name) came again, cum barley dripping out his cock as he let out a high pitched whine. His whine turned into a yelp as Jeff suddenly slapped his ass, Jeff slapped his ass four more times delighting when tears filled the others eyes as he begged Jeff to stop. "You should've been a good boy." Jeff smacked his ass ten more times, delighting in the way (Name) tightened around his cock.

Jeff began thrusting into him again except this time he'd randomly smack (Names) ass delighting in the shout the other produced each time. Jeff stopped his slaps in favour of picking up his thrusts and chasing his release, (Name) came again and Jeff lightly chuckled as he hit his own release and pumped the smaller man full of his cum.

"Told you I'd breed you good."

[watchmegetobsessed]

BABY MAMA

A/N: woke up and just knew i needed to write about dad Harry, bc lets be honest, he is my fav. this fic is perfectly fine as a oneshot, but if you'd like, it could be a sequel to Grammy Winner Husband and Baby Grammy, i wrote things to line up with them!

PAIRING: Husband!Harry / Dad!Harry x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2k

masterlist

The arena is blowing up, the fans are screaming from the top of their lungs and Harry is putting out a show just as good as the previous ones have been. He is blowing the stage up, singing, dancing, joking around with the fans, enjoying this time he gets to spend with the people who got him to this point in his life. He’ll never be not grateful for what he has, what he is experiencing, no matter how hard this life can get sometimes.

“Dallas, how are you feeling tonight?” he asks in the mic as he walks back to his water bottle to have a few sips. The crowd erupts, the screams almost burst his eardrums, but he just chuckles, easing his thirst with some water before he returns to the microphone stand.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he teasingly asks, though the reaction is the same. Insane screaming. “Alright, let’s move this show on before you get bored,” he chuckles playfully, the band starts playing the next song and he is back at what he does the best. Performing.

Though not far from the arena, there’s someone who thinks there’s something he is even better at than performing. That person is you, and you’re one hundred percent sure Harry is best at being a father to your five months old son.

Owning the stage, putting out the utter best he can, Harry’s thoughts still wander away from the show he is supposed to be focusing on. He can’t help it, his instincts are just completely drawn to his baby in the hotel suit, dying to know how he is doing. Leaving for the show late afternoon was harder than usually, because baby Theo was having a fever and coughing quite badly. His heart was breaking that he couldn’t help his son, didn’t even know what could be done for such a tiny baby.

“Love, he’ll be alright, okay? The doctor is on the way, it’s gonna be fine,” you told him gently as he was cradling Theo to his naked chest, always so eager to be skin-to-skin with him. Harry kissed his soft little curls on top of his head before nodding, though you knew it was eating him away.

“Call me or Jeff if something happens, okay?” he told you, handing Theo over to you, who was finally asleep after fussing for hours.

“I will,” you nodded, but he cupped your face to make you look at him.

“Y/N, I mean it. I’ll come off the stage if—“

“You won’t come off the stage, Theo is gonna be fine, he just probably got a cold from the aircon at the greenroom in Denver. He’ll be here when you get back, okay?”

He knew this tone, this was your momma bear voice and he would never argue with you when you used it, so he just nodded, kissed you and then Theo’s chubby cheek before heading out.

Now as he is nearing the end of the show he can’t help but think about finally being back at the hotel with his wife and baby, though he won’t let it be seen how eager he is to get off the stage.

The last song passes, the whole arena blows up from the energy and he is throwing kisses everywhere as he heads off the stage, down the aisle that leads him backstage. As he puts on his mask he turns around one last time, throwing some more kisses around to his beloved fans before disappearing behind the curtains.

“Did she call?” he instantly asks Jeff instantly, who hands him his phone over, a text from you already waiting for him.

Doc just left, everything is fine, left some meds for bub. Love you Xx

Even though this is what you told him before too, he feels relieved that the doctor confirmed it, but he still can’t wait to see the two of you.

“Alright, get the car ready, I’m leaving in ten,” he tells Jeff.

“Got it,” he nods, not even daring to argue with him. He knows better than to stand between Harry and his baby.

His legs bounce nervously on his way back to the hotel and he jumps out of the car as if it was on fire, running inside in a rush. He swipes the keycard through the reader on the door and opens it quietly, scanning over the place for you and Theo and there you are, sitting in one of the armchairs with his sleeping son in your arms, your hand gently tapping on his bum. You must have just finished feeding him, because a rag is still thrown over your shoulder and your shirt is all wrinkled around your chest. Theo loves playing with the fabric while you breastfeeding him and Harry loves watching his tiny fingers grab onto it and massaging it aimlessly.

“Hey,” he breathes out, quietly pushing the door closed behind him before he walks over, kneeling in front of you. He kisses Theo’s forehead first, before pressing his lips to yours too. “How is bub feeling?”

“He is doing good. The doc gave him some meds for the fever and we have a syrup for the coughing. He said he’ll be fine in a few days,” you softly explain to him, nodding towards everything the doctor left you on the coffee table.

Harry grabs the bottles, inspecting them as if he knows anything about medicine and you can’t help but smile as he furrows his eyebrows, reading the packaging.

“Want to put him to bed?” you ask him, his head snapping up right away.

“Of course,” he nods eagerly. You both stand up and he carefully takes the little boy from your arms without waking him up. “Hey bubs, I missed you,” he coos at Theo and as you watch him sway with the sleeping baby, your heart could easily burst from just the sight of them.

You didn’t know what life would be like as a family of three. After Harry posted a picture of you with his Grammy award and your belly ready to pop, the whole world went crazy over the fact that Harry Styles is going to be a dad. Despite the buzz, you managed to stay hidden for the rest of your pregnancy and just three weeks after that post, Theodore Styles decided to come to the world. Harry cancelled everything for the first two months, it was just the three of you, showering in the joys of parenthood. You had all the ups and downs, but you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Then tour got rescheduled and Harry was hesitant whether it was a good idea to go on the road with a five months old.

“Sarah and Mitch are coming too, she gave birth a week after me,” you reasoned when Harry was about to cancel the whole tour. It took you some time to convince him that it’s gonna be fine, though you knew he would be extra cautious with Theo.

Now as you see him gently sway his way to the bassinet next to your bed, knowing that he just performed to thousands of people and now he is here with you and your son, you wouldn’t change it to some peace at home. Besides, you’re convinced tour is gonna do good for Theo, make him get used to people around him, not just the two of you or the grandparents and aunts. During the first night in Vegas, he barely spent an hour in your arms, everyone wanted a piece of him and you gladly let them befriend him, especially because he loves meeting new people, just like his daddy.

As Harry lays him into the bassinet and stands next to it with a lovesick smile on his face, you sneak behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He smells so fresh, he surely had a quick shower before heading back to the hotel, but you’re already planning to seduce him to join you for a quick shower as well. He won’t say no.

“Watched a livestream for a bit, you were so good,” you hum, kissing his right shoulder blade and you don’t miss how he leans back against you. “Loved the shimmery outfit.”

“Yeah?” he chuckles softly. Reaching around, he pulls you forwards so he can wrap you in his arms, kissing your forehead gently. “I missed seeing you dance at the side,” he smirks at you and you don’t miss the reference to the old times.

On his first solo tour, when you weren’t even married yet he often caught you dancing like crazy at the side of the stage, it would always make him laugh mid-song and you loved hearing his giggles through the mic, so you often did it on purpose. A few nights ago in Vegas you did the same, but with Theo in your arms, a massive ear protector on his head so the noise didn’t hurt him. When Harry spotted you, he almost started crying, he mouthed I love youand then carried on with the show.

“I’ll be there soon,” you smile at him, cupping his face in your hands to pull him down for a kiss that’s more than just a peck. “Now, I need help with something,” you mumble against his lips.

“Anything, baby.”

“I need you to help me shower,” you tell him cheekily. He pulls back and stares down at you with a playful grin, his hands already wandering under your shirt.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah, I need someone to wash my back and… maybe somewhere else,” you hum seductively and start pulling him towards the bathroom, peeking at Theo one last time, but he is sleeping so deep, the two of you can have some alone time.

“Alright, I could never deny anything from my favorite milf,” he grins, but you smack his chest with a gasp.

“Harry! I told you not to call me that!” you protest, the two of you walking into the bathroom not to bother the sleeping baby in the room. You start running the water right away so it can be nice and hot for you when you walk in.

“Why? You are a milf,” he smirks, so full of himself, already pulling his shirt over his head.

“Then you’re a dilf, just so you know.”

“Baby, my fans have been calling me that for years, even before Theo,” he chuckles softly.

“You were destined to be a dad,” you giggle, getting rid of your own clothes. “Hey, if Theo feels better tomorrow, we could maybe take a walk in that park we saw on the way here,” you suggest, but when no answer comes, you look at Harry and find him just standing there, fully naked, staring at you grinning widely. “What?” you ask, glancing down at your own naked body. Suddenly, you are way too aware of the weight you haven’t been able to lose after giving birth, the stretch marks on your waist and how you’re not at all freshly shaved. Just as you’d move your hands to cover yourself a bit, Harry grabs your wrists and stops you.

“You are so fucking gorgeous, baby,” he hums, dropping his head until his lips could reach yours.

“Stop being such a flirt,” you giggle, feeling your face heating up.

“It’s the truth! I have the prettiest baby mama and that’s a fact.”

He looks at you with so much love and adoration in those beautiful green eyes, it almost makes you cry, knowing that this man is your husband and you get to spend the rest of your life with him.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you kiss him hard, pulling him into the spacious walk in shower.

“Then come and get your baby mama wet,” you giggle against his lips, making him laugh with the ambiguous request as he shuts the glass door behind him, his lips hungrily kissing wherever he can reach and you’re pretty sure the hot water is not the only thing that’s steaming up the glass.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[infernwetrust]

In His Office [Michael Langdon x Fem Reader]

Summary: A recent change in your shift allows for you to have lunch with Michael at his brand new dealership.

Warnings: SMUT, SMUT, SMUT. Swearing. I think that’s about it.

WC: 2.5k

A/N: This idea came to me recently today lol. We all know Michael Langdon isn’t a stranger to a little office sex. I imagined this one with F&R Michael. Thank you for reading! -Juno

Michael walked around his dealership, hands clasped behind his back as he silently studied his employees at work. Not wanting Michael to always stress over his job as the anti-Christ, you convinced him to pursue something else that he was interested in. Why not start a business, he had thought. He decided that he would own a decent sized car lot, divided into 3 sections; luxury, middle-class, and pre-owned vehicles. The business took off well as he constantly won awards throughout the year whether it be for most sales or outstanding customer service.

He could feel the eyes burning into him as he walked passed, from employees and customers alike. He knew he was attractive. He knew that some of his workers wanted to screw him, but he paid their nasty thoughts no mind. He dressed in all black as usual. A black button up shirt that hugged his figure perfectly, tight black jeans, sporting the Michael Kors belt you had gotten him for his birthday, and his favorite pair of black dress shoes to go with it. He never went anywhere without wearing the platinum chain, which proudly displayed his last name, around his neck. That was also a gift from you.

His hands shifted behind his back and his thumb brushed against his wedding band, causing him smile a little bit as he finished walking the floor, returning to his office and taking a seat at his desk. He looked down at the wedding band, reminding himself of the passionate encounter that the two of you had shared a few nights ago.

"Michael..." you whispered against his lips as he lay comfortably between your legs.

"Hmm, my love?" he questioned, his blue eyes meeting yours, his lips not moving an inch away from yours.

"I want you to wear your ring while you make love to me. I want to see it. I want to be reminded of your commitment to me." He smiled against your lips because funny enough, it was something he always thought of too. Normally he would take it off to avoid it flying off his finger due to any sudden hand movements while the two of you got lost in each other.

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"I have your weekly sales report, Mr. Langdon." his lovely Ms. Mead said, walking into his office and gently placing the folder on his desk. He smiled warmly at her, taking a bite of his now cold bagel before moving the folder closer to him. It was only right that he made her head of the financials. She was so good with numbers and always had Michael's files correctly placed together.

"Now you know you don't have to call me that." he said to her. "Michael, Mike, even son, works just fine for me."

"I know." she said. "But we're in your place of business, my dear. I will always address you with respect."

"You're too good to me, you know that?" All she could do was smile. "Took care of me when no one else would, never left my side, always provided for me. I won't ever be able to thank you enough." She was going to say something else when Michael's front desk receptionist walked into his office, his shirt drenched in coffee.

"Jeremy what the fuck happened to you?"Michael questioned, furrowing his eyebrows as one of his first impression's of his establishment was now completely a mess. "You can't fucking greet people like that. What type of business do you think I'm running here?"

"There's a woman, in the lobby." he began, out of breath. "She keeps demanding that I direct you to her office and that she's your wife. I think she's crazy, but I tried letting her know that you're a very busy man and that she'd have to call in advance to meet with you, but she wouldn't take no for an answer." A smile crept its way across Michael's face as he snapped his fingers, restoring Jeremy's outfit back to its original state. Yup. That was you.

"Yeah, that sounds like my wife." Michael said, grinning alongside Ms. Mead. "Perhaps you should of listened to her the first time."

"But sir, I was just trying to-,"

"Ah ah. I've heard enough. Walk her back here and make sure you get nothing else thrown on you for the rest of the day or your fired. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir." Jeremy said lowly, turning to exit Michael's office and get you.

"These fucking new hires, huh?" Michael questioned, looking at Ms. Mead.

"You let Jeff and Mutt do the hiring when you really should pass that job along to Gallant. He would make sure the right people were working here."

"That he would. That he would..." Michael agreed, rubbing underneath his chin. And then you walked into the room. With a recent shift change, you now got off at 2PM, which means you were able to meet Michael for his lunches that he took at 2:30. He stared at you, smiling devilishly, running his fingers across his bottom lip.

"You're lucky I don't fire you my fucking self." you said to Jeremy as he escorted you in.

"My apologies, Mrs. Langdon." he said, with his head low.

"Yeah, whatever. You can get out now." He wasted no time, quickly leaving the room, accidentally bumping into the side of the door, causing the 3 of you to giggle. "Ugh, Michael, don't tell me you're still chewing on that bagel I sent you to work with." You walked over to his desk, engulfing Ms. Mead into a tight hug, which she gladly returned before planting a kiss on your cheek.

"I'll leave you two, to it." she said, giving Michael a nod before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Why so bossy today?" Michael questioned, sitting up in his chair and resting his hands on his desk, admiring your unique figure.

"Between work today and your stupid front desk agent, I'm just ready to eat lunch with you and for you to come home."

"It was that bad today?"

"If I could throw my computer out of the window with no consequences, I would." Michael chuckled, grabbing his bag of Panera Bread. You knew his favorite. Turkey Bacon Bravo, with avocado, extra, extra, avocado. Cheddar Broccoli soup and a Coke.

"You and me both, my Queen." Michael grabbed a remote, the one that control the shades in his office. He lowered them, half way, just so that no one walking by would be able to peak in at the two of you. "Staying with me until I get off at 5 or do you just want to take my car and go home and then come back for me?”

"You know I am. I've missed you terribly today."

"Is that why my front desk boy ended up covered in coffee?" The two of you looked at each other with a grin. "A temper just like mine. Mrs. Langdon, I love it, just as much as I love you."

"I love you too." you responded. "My temper is how I keep things in order."

"Mmmm." Michael hummed. "Tell me about it."

After lunch, Michael returned to his duties, going over his sales reports, moving things where they needed to go, and sending out emails and reminders. You loved watching him work. You loved how fast his fingers moved a crossed the keys and how his gaze never broke away from the task at hand. You were mainly focused on his outfit choice for today. You had no idea he would be leaving the house in an outfit that pointed out ALL of his features. Though he was soft, you could still see the full outline of his length through his jeans when he sat down. His chest, outlined against his shirt perfectly, you could just make out his nipples. The size of Michael's thighs drove you insane, that you couldn't help but come over in the chair you were sitting in and start rubbing them.

His focus still didn't break and while you knew he preferred to stay focused on his work, today it didn't seem like he cared. He allowed you to rub his thigh, his breathing slightly increasing as he typed up a inventory report. When he paused for a moment, wanting to crack his knuckles, you took the opportunity to spin his chair around so that it was facing you. The both of you immediately made eye contact, but no words were spoken. You could read his face and he could read yours. You were both on on the same page. He grabbed another remote, this time the stereo remote, turning it on, leaving the music at a reasonable volume.

Your hands were already fumbling with his belt as you got it unclasped. You quickly unbuttoned his jeans, Michael kicking off his shoes and moving them to the side. You pulled them down, bringing his boxers down with his, revealing his semi-hard cock. And all you did was touch him. You knew how much Michael craved you, both intimately and non-intimately. He was weak underneath your touch most of the time. You got on your knees in front of him, hands on his thighs as you slowly took him into your mouth. He let out a Godly sigh, leaning his head back as you got to work on him.

"Ssssh." you said, popping him out of your mouth. "It seems to be a busy day for you. You don't want your customers to know what's going on behind your office doors do you?"

"And what if I do?" Michael questioned, his cock twitching from missing your mouth.

"Well let's pretend you don't. No noises. Can you do that for me, daddy?" Michael's jaw clenched at the name and he bit his lip slightly. Silent Michael was sight to see. While extremely audible Michael was one of your favorites, nothing beat looking up at him and watching as he expressed his pleasure with his face and body.

You took him back into your mouth, slowly bobbing your head up and down on his length. Michael's jaw dropped. He desperately wanted to moan. He wanted you to know how good you were making him feel, but he kept it quiet. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, never taking his eyes off you. He didn't bother to take it off, his chest and torso for the most part exposed, his chain landing perfectly in the middle of chest. You licked up and down the sides of his shaft, using your hand to stroke circles around his spit glazed tip. The sound of the wetness drove the both of you crazy. Your own arousal soaked through your panties.

Putting him back in your mouth, you sucked on just his tip, using both of your hands to stroke the rest of his length. Looking up at him, he looked so beautiful. He was breathing heavily as he peered back down at you, running his hand through his hair, his hips starting to thrust upwards in your hand to try and match your pace. His foot found its way between your legs and using his big toe, he slowly rubbed it across your clit, causing you to moan lowly around him, the vibrations ripping through him.

You were sucking faster now, moving your hands faster. He gripped both sides of his office chair, before deciding to let them go, wanting his hands wrapped up in your hair instead. You moved your hands, knowing what he was wanting to do. Welcoming it. And you loved watching him do it too. His thrusts in your mouth started off slow and gently, before they became rough and fast. You looked up at Michael again, who was now breathing so rapidly you thought that maybe he could be hyperventilating. You could see him mouthing the word fuck over and over and over.

He stood up abruptly, pulling you up with him before smashing his lips onto yours, immediately sliding his tongue into your mouth, the two of you fighting for dominance. He was quick to rid you of your clothes before pulling his shirt all the way off. With a quick wave of his hand, everything that was now on his desk, was on his office sofa, neatly stacked so that he could return to it lately. He picked you up, setting you down on his desk.

"Now can you do the same for me?" he asked, quickly sliding into you, catching you off guard. Sensing your impending loud moan he quickly put a hand over your mouth. "No noises yes? Or I'll stop and we'll have to finish this at home." You nodded against his hand and he slowly moved in and out of you at a rhythmic pace. You pulled him by the back of his neck, closer to you, putting your lips directly against his ear. His hands roamed all over you, squeezing your breasts, playing with your nipples as he gradually increased the pace at which he fucked you. Your hands travelled up and down his back when suddenly he grabbed them, pinning them above your head.

You swore the desk was inching farther and farther away from the area it resided in as he now pounded into you relentlessly and you could help but let out a cry of pleasure, or at least you tried to, but Michael knew you all to well. He used his powers to keep you quiet, your mouth wanting to make noise, but nothing but breaths and pants coming out.

"Poor, girl." Michael said between breaths. "Dishing out challenges you can't even do yourself. Now look, I have to use my powers to keep your mouth shut. Pathetic. You enjoy being my little office toy?" You nodded vigorously. Not only had your shift change allowed you to have lunch with Michael, but it was just the fact that you were now able to spend the rest of his work filled day with him, sex or no sex.

"That's what I thought." he continued, his pounding becoming sloppier and sloppier as he neared his climax, you not following too far behind. When he let your hands go, they immediately found their way to his hair, giving it a sharp tug to which he inhaled sharply to stop himself from cursing. You grabbed him by his throat, pulling him back down towards you as you neared your orgasm, foreheads pressed against each other with nothing but pure love and lust in the both of your eyes.

You let go first, squirming violently against Michael, who sloppily kissed you following his own release shortly after, breathing and panting loudly in each other's mouths. You both rode out your orgasms until the pleasure was completely gone.

"This shift change is going to be so much fun." Michael said as he rested his face in your neck.

"So much fun, Mr. Langdon. So much fun." you said back.

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid @theneverendinghunger

[ciggylungz]

Music to my ears

Music to my ears- 1.7k

Blurb night: (Request: What abt like something in the studio? Like studio sex 🥵 your header inspired me lol)

 ------

Y/n always loved when Harry brought her to the studio with him, seeing her man all in his grove and in his element made her happy. She couldn’t deny how sexy he looked when he was strumming on the guitar or sitting with a clenched jaw, drumming his fingers while tweaking some lyrics to make it perfect.

Harry was all smiles when he heard the studio door open, his beautiful girlfriend making her way into the room holding some water bottles for him and the band, and some nice food- remembering to skip any item with dairy in it since it can clog up his throat with phlegm which wouldn’t be too good while trying to belt out another billboard hit.

“There she is! Hey darlin’” Harry craned his neck to peck her as she walked by, he was seated in a office chair going over some sheet music Mitch had written that belonged to the instrumental section of one of his works in progress and Y/n gave him a good once over decided he looked especially hot in his black slacks and wrinkled rolling stones shirt. “I brought treats! The BLT for Mitch, Cesar salad hold the crotons for Sara with a side of soup, two blueberry muffins and a black tea for Jeff and a sparkling lemon water with a vegan chicken noodle soup for my Harry- with of course- the breads you requested with it my dear.”

Y/n handed out the goodies to the group of artists, giving Harry his food with a kiss on his cheek perching herself on the table in front of him to snag a few bites of his food every so often as she talked with the group listing to some of the music they’d already got down dancing in her spot a little bit enjoying the behind the scenes of his upcoming album. “Sound’s good, I think you got another hit in the makin’ here baby. ‘m proud of yeh bub!” Y/n ran her fingers through Harry’s hair, the man giving her a content coo and grip on her thigh in return rubbing his thumb on the denim covered skin lovingly.

“Thank ya’, couldn’t do it without these guys or you my love. You guys make me great, would be nothin’ without ya’” his sweetness got a chorus of adored ‘awes’ which the slightly arrogant artist bathed in dramatically waving his hands and pretending to be bashful earning him some chuckles from everyone in the room.

 -------

It was nearing 10 in the evening when Mitch finally decided to call it a night, everyone else besides Harry and Y/n had left over the last few hours. Each trickling out with some yawns and good bidding's as they decided to make their way home but Harry was focused on his music, and Y/n knew once he was this much in a grove, he wasn’t going to pack up till he felt it was time. in the meantime Y/n was sprawled out on one of the couches in the room, her left hand absentmindedly running over the suede pushing the material back and fourth in a satisfying pattern while scrolling through her phone texting a few friends and replying to some emails in between playing random games on the device.

Harry was deep into his work, tongue tucked between his teeth while his knee bounced slightly to the melody playing in his head. He was currently trying to put the finishing touches on medicine , a rather proactive song that he was still on the fence about releasing or keeping a concert special. His inspiration behind it was his journey through sexuality, romance and the fast pace lust that he’s experienced as a star during his formative years. Of course his Y/n was a big inspiration on that track, their sexual endeavors prominent in his mind while coming up with the lyrics.

His mind was filled with photographic memories of the times they did various naughty things. The foursome in brazil where they both explored bisexuality, having Harry, Y/n and then another couple join them, the hand full of times they’d had sex in public. In his car, in an alley, in bathroom at the VMA’s. on the roof, in a pool, and even the once Y/n went down on him in his mothers back garden while she ran to the shop.  He thought of the sloppy kisses, the spitting, cum eating, rim jobs and pussy eating. It was all so dirty and god he knew this song would drive people mad. So being the cheeky bastard he is, he made two final decisions about the piece of work right then and there.

1-      It would be an exclusive concert song

2-      He wanted to have some special audio in it

 Harry knew the idea was daring, likely to turn heads and cause mothers of concert goers to place a hand over their heart with a raised eyebrow but this was his music and he never had an issue with controversial art.

The man then looked to his side, seeing his love in her natural state. Relaxed, lips slightly pursed with her eyelashes batting every few seconds as she focused on the screen. Somehow even when she was lying in a lazy position, hair in a messy bun with a small stain from her tea on the bottom of her shirt, she still looked insanely beautiful.

“Love?” y/n shifted her eyes towards her boyfriend when she heard the pet name, turning onto her side to give him her full attention. “What’s up, H?” she rested her chin on her fist, blowing a few stray hairs out of her eyes. “How would you feel about helpin’ me out with this song?”

Harry gave her a bit of a suggestive taunt of his brows, the girl tilting her head slightly. “Sure, what do yeh have in mind, bub?” Y/n was quick to her feet walking towards him to peer down at the notebook full of lyrics, yet her attention was soon focused on the sensation of being tugged into his lap and the feeling of a rather firm lump pressing into her bum. Her head turned to look at her now smirking boyfriend, pursing her lips slightly in question. “Well, the songs a bit alt to what I usually write…going to keep it off the album make it exclusive but I think I want some background audio of us…making love princess.”

To be clear, Y/n wasn’t a prude. She wasn’t shy about her sexuality, she actually felt very empowered by how confident she was about her sex life and Harry found it exceptionally sexy to be with a woman who was open and not shy at all about trying new things, and this was definitely a new one for her to consider.

He gave her a moment to mull it over, seeing her head sway slightly while she weighed the offer before she gave a shrug and a nod to her boyfriend. “Sure, why not? Gonna be music layered on it right? So it’s not full blown balls smacking into ass?” her question made the man snort, nodding his head. “Yup, gonna layer the instrumental over it. Hoping to isolate the vocals of the moaning to mesh into the music then my singing. I think it could sound fuckin’ excellent and well I get to fuck yeh, so I think it’s a win win hmm?” his hands migrated to her tits, giving them a firm squeeze as his lips pressed into the back of her neck. His touches achieved his goal of sending a shiver through his girl, her spine tingling and hips starting to squirm as he sponged open mouth kisses from the nape of her neck to each shoulder.

“Yea…yea lets do it.” Her words were breathier, his touch putting her under his spell instantly. Lust hung in the air while he kept his grip on her his free hand used to turn on the mic in the sound booth before starting the recording and pushing them both in the padded room.

“god, you’re a doll lettin’ me fuck yeh for my track. I love you so much baby..” his words were as rushed as his frantic hands tugging their clothes off. Hers were prying the buttons of his trousers undone while he ridded her of her bra and started on her pants their mouths crashing together in a sloppy, needy dirty kiss. One that left the lower half of their faces shiny and their teeth slightly clenched from knocking them together in the heat of their movements.

“I love you more, jesus Haz, please hurry up need you in me.” Y/n worked on shoving her panties to the side, Harry hoisting her leg up to have her angled just right to sink his cock into. These were the moments he praised whoever invented birth control, nothing beats getting to spontaneously fuck his girl without having to worry about finding a condom.

Gasps, moans and whines filled the booth. The pleasured noises bouncing off the foam glued to the walls, the insulation amplifying their noises as Harry pounded himself inside Y/n relentlessly, his cock forcibly spreading her inner walls stimulating the deepest parts of her making her pour out a river of beautiful moans he couldn’t wait to mesh into the song. He did little to contain his own groans, deciding if they were prominent in the recording he’d match them with the bass so the deep tones complimented each other.

“ ‘m gonna cum”  

The string of words every guy loves to hear from the woman they are pleasuring, it boosts their ego and gives them an extra shot of stamina to push her over the edge satisfying her fully before he lets himself go.

When the tightening of her cunt gripped onto his cock, sucking him in further happened the best moans of the session were let out. Harmonious perfectly pitched moans spilling from her mouth, his joining hers in a duet soon after as his balls gave everything they had inside of her. the pair were a sticky mess, but it didn’t matter to them they both were still in the orgasmic haze complimented with the rush of voyeurism.

“Jesus baby, I think we just secured a grammy.”

[jgthirlwell]

2020 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2020

JG Thirlwell

Composer

Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

www.foetus.org

2020 was a troubling and disturbing year. I created a lot of music and experienced a lot of nights waking at 5am in a panic. I deeply missed the sacred experience of being able to see live music. In its absence of that I listened to a lot of music. It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2020, in no particular order.

Le Grand Sbam Furvent (Dur Et Doux) John Elmquist’s HardArt Group I Own an Ion (900 Nurses) Roly Porter Kistvaen (Subtext) Liturgy Origin Of The Alimonies (YLYLCYN) Clark Kiri Variations (Throttle) Dai Kaht Dai Kaht I & II (Soleil Zeuhl) Chromb Le livre des merveilles (Dur Et Doux) Horse Lords The Common Task (Northern Spy) Ecker & Meultzer Carbon (Subtext) Insane Warrior Tendrils (RJ’s Electrical Connections) Jeff Parker Suite For Max Brown (International Anthem) Jacob Kirkegaard Opus Mors (Topos) Tristan Perich Drift Multiply (Nonesuch) Bec Plexus Sticklip (New Amsterdam) Vak Budo (Soleil Zeuhl) Merlin Nova BOO! (Bandcamp) The The Muscle OST (Cineola) Zombi 2020 (Relapse) Regis Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss (Downwards) Rival Consoles Articulation (Erased Tapes) Sarah Davachi Cantus, Descant (L.A.T.E.) Sufjan Stevens The Ascension (Asthmatic Kitty) Idles Ultra Mono (Partisan) Daedelus The Bittereindeers (Brainfeeder) Boris No (Bandcamp) Aksak Maboul Figures / Un peu de l’ame des bandits / Onze Danses Pour Cobattre La Migraine (Crammed) Noveller Arrow (Ba Da Bing) Felicia Atkinson Everything Evaporate (Shelter Press) Ital Tek Dream Boundary (Planet Mu) Author and Punisher Beastland (Relapse) Sparks A Steady Drip Drip Drip (BMG) Corima Amatarasu (Soleil Zeuhl) Code Orange Underneath (Roadrunner) Deerhoof Future Teenage Cave Artists /Silly Symphonies / To Be Surrounded../ Love Lore(Joyful Noise) Sote Moscels (Opal Tapes) Run The Jewels RTJ4 (Jewel Runners) Oranssi Pazuzu Mestarin Kynsi (Nuclear Blast) Master Boot Record Floppy Disk Overdrive (Metal Blade) Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith The Mosaic Of Transformation (Ghostly International) / Ears (Western Vinyl) Michael Gordon Acquanetta (Cantelope) Neom Arkana Temporis (Soleil Zeuhl) Rian Treanor Ataxia / File Under UK Metaplasm (Planet Mu) Helm Saturnalia (Alter) Ivvvo doG (Halcyon Veil) Robert Normandeau Figures (Empreintes Digitales) Ben Vida Reducing The Tempo To Zero (Shelter Press) Beatrice Dillon Workaround (Pan) Dan Deacon Mystic Familiar (Domino) Sea Oleena Weaving A Basket (Higher Plain Music) Elysian Fields Transience Of Life (Ojet) Rhapsody Symphony Of Enchanted Lands II - The Dark Secret (Magic Circle) Duma Duma (Nyege Nyege) Ulla Strauss Tumbling Towards a Wall / Seed (Bandcamp)

Honorable mentions Carl Stone Stolen Car (Unseen Worlds)  Nazar Guerilla (Hyperdub) Iwo Zaluski with the Children of Park Lane Primary School, Wembley The Remarkable Earth Making Machine (Trunk) Nahash Flowers Of The Revolution (SVBKVLT) Cindy Lee Whats Tonight To Eternity (Bandcamp) Insect Ark The Vanishing (Profound Lore) 33EMYBW Arthropods (SVBKVLT) Declan McKenna Zeroes (Tomplicated) Layma Azur Zeii (Bandcamp)

FILM TV Succession ZeroZeroZero Escape at Dannemora 1917 Small Axe : Five films by Steve McQueen Pirhanas Monos The Hater Better Call Saul

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Drew Daniel

Matmos, The Soft Pink Truth

an alphabet of 2020 recordings

Arca “KiCk i” BFTT “Intrusive / Obtrusive” clipping. “Visions of Bodies Being Burned” Duma “Duma” Eilbacher, Max “Metabolist Meter (Foster, Cottin, Caetani and a Fly)” Forbidden Colors “La Yeguada” GILA “Energy Demonstration” HiedraH Club de Baile “Bichote-K Bailable Vol. 2” Ian Power “Maintenance Hums” Jeff Carey “Index[off]” Kassel Jaeger “Meith” Laurie Anderson “Songs From the Bardo” Mukqs “Water Levels” Negativland “The World Will Decide” O’Rourke, Jim “Shutting Down Here” Perlesvaus “These Things Below with Those Above” Quicksails “Blue Rise” Rian Treanor “File Under UK Metaplasm” Slikback “///” Terminal Nation “Holocene Extinction” Ulcerate “Stare Into Death and Be Still” Various Artists “HAUS of ALTR” William Tyler “New Vanitas” Xyla “Ways” Y A S H A “Summations” :zoviet-france: “Châsse 2ᵉ”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sarah Lipstate  (Noveller)

With all live performances canceled, this was truly the year of demo videos and home studio recording for me. These are 10 pieces of gear that came out in 2020 that helped keep me feeling creative and inspired during lockdown. In no particular order:

EHX Oceans 12 Dual Stereo Reverb - The Oceans 12 ticks all the boxes for what I’m looking for in a great soundscaping reverb. I used the Shimmer and Reverse algorithms in conjunction a lot when I was composing music for a film score.

Chase Bliss Audio Blooper - While I don’t actually own a Blooper, I had the pleasure of borrowing one from Mike of Baranik Guitars after NAMM this year. He made an incredible Blooper-inspired guitar and I was completely charmed by them both. Chase Bliss always delivers pedals that push me creatively and the Blooper truly hits the mark.

Cooper FX Arcades - I love everything Cooper FX has released to-date so the opportunity to access those sounds in one pedal via plug-in cartridges is just awesome.

SolidGoldFX NU-33 - I was asked to do a demo of this pedal for its release and ended up being really charmed by this box’s approach to lo-fi nostalgia. I’ve used it a lot for film scoring and highly recommend adding it to your collection.

Demedash Effects T-120 DLX V2 - I LOVE a good tape echo and the T-120 Deluxe V2 ranks up there with the best I’ve tried. This pedal made its way to me this Christmas and I look forward to making some beautiful sounds with it in the new year.

Hologram Electronics Microcosm - The Microcosm is one of those pedals where you should fully read the manual before diving in but once you put in that initial effort you’ve got a massively powerful tool on your hands. It does glitch like no other. Definitely worth the homework

Azzam Bells MP019 - I discovered this unique instrument through a post on Reverb’s IG page and immediately looked it up and ordered one. These experimental percussion instruments are hand-made in Italy and they’re as beautiful visually as they are sonically. I used it for bowed cymbal and daxophone sounds on a film score and it was absolutely haunting.

Echopark Dual Harmonic Boost 2 - I love the control you have over dialing in the perfect amount of grit with these dual boost circuits. I use it a lot as a textural tool when I’m laying down drones or bringing in big distorted swells. It’s one of the most versatile overdrives in my collection and I love that.

Fender Parallel Universe Series Volume II Maverick Dorado - I was smitten with the Maverick Dorado when I first saw it at NAMM. It has a lot of the specs that I look for in a guitar and the body shape with the Mystic Pine finish just blew me away. I hope that I get to use it live soon.

Polyeffects Beebo - The Beebo is one of those pedals that I genuinely feel is smarter than I am. It’s like an entire computer in one small touchscreen box. I can’t claim to have mastered using it yet but the sounds that I have managed to get out of it so far have been brilliant. I’m looking forward to spending more time with this box in 2021

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HELM 2020 REVIEW

Let's get the bad stuff out the way first, 2020 was undoubtedly an awful year. I'm still not sure how to really respond to seeing a global pandemic bring the capital to its knees and everything I love and hold dear to a grinding halt. Our government fucked it's response, putting profit before people and killing tens of thousands. The Labour Party descended into farce with the newly elected leader Sir Keith revealing himself as a bland centrist with no opposition or ideas. On a personal level it sucked not being able to travel or see my friends in different parts of the world - or even the same country - who I am starting to miss a lot. However, I was fortunate enough to get through the year with my sanity intact. Music, art and culture once again being my main positive. I think I listened to more music than I have in any year ever. I read more books than I have done since I was a teenager probably. I also re-discovered the joys of walking long distances and am extremely thankful for living near a lot of incredible green spaces: Epping Forest, Walthamstow Wetlands, Walthamstow Marshes, Wanstead Park, Wanstead Flats...

Music. My favourite albums of the year.

Oranssi Pazuzu - Mestarin kynsi Wetware - Flail Raspberry Bulbs - Before The Age Of Mirrors Necrot - Mortal Rope Sect - The Great Flood Private World - Aleph Oneohtrix Point Never - Magic Oneohtrix Point Never Pyrrhon - Abcess Time CS+Kreme - Snoopy Speaker Music - Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry Drew McDowall - Agalma Regis - Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss Nazar - Guerilla Zoviet France - Russian Heterodoxical Songs (and all the ZF reissues!!) Triple Negative - God Bless the Death Drive Permission - Organised People Suffer Actress - Karma & Desire Acolytes - Stress II The Gerogerigegege - >(decrescendo) Chubby & The Gang - Speed Kills Flora Yin-Wong - Holy Palm Eiko Ishibashi - Hyakki Yagyo The The - See Without Being Seen Prurient - Casablanca Flamethrower Henning Christiansen - L’essere Umano Errabando La Voce Errabando Subdued - Over The Hills And Far Away Rian Treanor - File Under UK Metaplasm Komare - The Sense Of Hearing Shredded Nerve - Acts Of Betrayal Jesu - Terminus Autechre - SIGN Hey Colossus - Dances / Curses Sparkle Division - To Feel Embraced Mark Harwood - A Perfect Punctual Paradise Under My Own Name Still House Plants - Fast Edit The Bug & Dis Fig - In Blue Kommand - Terrorscape Haus Arafna - Asche Khthoniik Cerviiks - Æequiizoiikum Worm - Gloomlord Kraus - A Golden Brain Faceless Burial - Speciation

A shout-out to Jon Abby's AMPLIFY series on Bandcamp / Facebook, which I contributed a new piece of music to.

A shout out to the labels where most of the music I listened to seemed to come from:

The Trilogy Tapes Iron Bonehead Penultimate Press Dais La Vida Es Un Mus

Gigs. Despite live music being destroyed in 2020 I still saw a few unforgettable performances at the beginning of the year.

Graham Lambkin @ The ICA, London Puce Mary / JFK @ The Glove That Fits, London Demilich @ Finnfest, The Garage, London Container / PC World / National Unrest @ Venue MOT, London S.H.I.T / Asid / Chubby & The Gang @ Static Shock Festival, ExFed, London

Books I enjoyed. Most not published this year, but all read in 2020.

Joe Kennedy - Authentocrats David Balzer - Curationism Tom Mills - BBC: The Myth Of A Public Service Simon Morris - Consumer Guide: Special Edition Luke Turner - Out Of The Woods Various - Bad News For Labour Mike Wendling - Alt-Right Baited Area issues 1 & 2.

Film. Three good films I saw this year which I hadn't before.

Suspiria (Remake) Midsommar Cannibal Holocaust

Podcasts. I listened to a lot of these whilst walking.

We Don't Talk About The Weather Novara Media Tysky Sour & Novara FM Grounded with Louis Theroux System of Systems Red Scare loveline episodes Suite 212 NOISEXTRA Social Discipline CONTAIN

TV.

Didn't watch a huge amount and what I did was mostly trash. For some reason I rewatched both series' of This Life, a British drama from the late 90's about a group of young professionals house sharing and navigating their careers. Very cringey and has aged terribly, but it was perversely fascinating to revisit something from that time in the age of the pandemic. Following on from this I binge watched the entire series of Industry which was entertaining enough. A programme about a bunch of horny bankers with what felt like a confused ideology behind it. It seemed stuck between trying to criticise and glorify the culture around the industry, but also protect the industry itself from outside criticism by portraying anyone who may oppose as an insufferable wanker. Currently halfway through Succession which is OK. The Murdoch documentaries on the BBC were excellent and a rare respite from their descent into client journalism.

Thanks to anyone who listened to my music this year also. Best wishes to you all for 2021.

Luke Younger

http://hhelmm.com | http://alter.bandcamp.com

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Elliott Sharp

composer

1. My Nr. 1 lesson: patience. Whether it's bouncing through 30 seconds of severe turbulence at 39000 feet or slogging through 30 minutes of a interminable piece of concert music, one attribute I've tried to develop is the ability to see past the discrete and awaited ending, the exact framing of the immediate process, but put it into the context of a larger time frame. I've found that this year more than all others has demanded it. Breathing helps...

2. Books: revisiting old favorites from the realm of Thomas Pynchon and Philip K. Dick (both especially relevant), digging into John Lomax's portrait of Jelly Roll Morton, the works of Colson Whitehead, random things off of the shelf…

3. Composing: with touring off the table, I focused on that which needed to be written, some requested and commissioned, some spontaneously springing forth. Composing requires that one open the windows wide to the world, which at this moment brought in grief, terror, uncertainty, anxiety, visions of plague and pestilence and incipient fascism. Okay, now shut the window and get to work! How to process, translate, transform? The work can be a comfortable and obsessive cocoon once one learns to handle the radioactive materials and put them into the creativity reactor.

4. Beans! We have long been a fan in our house of the wide world of legumes but this year brought two stars to the front: the black bean and the red lentil. The black bean commands the lofty peaks but the seemingly infinite variations of dal surround it. Ginger, garlic, turmeric, smoked paprika, cayenne, onions, and olive oil form the basis then imagination builds.

5. Online teaching substituted for my canceled conduction of workshops in the Pyrenees Mountains of France. Between the participants and myself, we built a temporary but very congenial space online to share concepts and music. In addition, private lessons brought conversation and music with new friends in Germany, Italy, California, Australia, Illinois, Denmark, Pennsylvania, Spain, Florida, Brazil.

6. What started out as "stress baking" (before I even had heard of the term) soon became a frequent practice that yielded very edible results. The twins preferred the sweeter forays into banana bread and chocolate cake. I tried to find a balance between tried-and-true techniques and experiments in texture and taste with yeasted pumpernickels, multi-grains, and seed breads.

7. While not the same as performing 'live ', online gigs proved that it was possible to generate a surprising amount of adrenaline even without the pheromonal handshaking of a room filled with receptive ears. As a corollary, online recording collaborations with friends worldwide proved to be inspiring and a suitable substrate for sonic experimentation, exploration of new instruments, tunings, effects programming, structures. In these realms, shout-outs to Helene Breschand, Mike Cooper, Henry Kaiser, Tracie Morris, Mikel Banks, Dougie Bowne, Payton McDonald, Billy Martin, Colin Stetson, Jim O'Rourke, Scott Amendola, Roberto Zorzi, Jason Hoopes, Eric Mingus, Melanie Dyer, Dave Hofstra, Don McKenzie, Sergio Sorrentino, Veniero Rizzardi, Taylor Ho Bynum, Scott Fields, Bachir Attar, Karl Bruckmaier, Robbie Lee, Matthew Evan Taylor, Matteo Liberatore, Al Kaatz, David Barratt, Jessica Hallock, Kolin Zeinikov, Robbie Lee, Jeremy Nesse, James Ilgenfritz, Sergio Armaroli, Steve Piccolo, Sandy Ewen, David Weinstein, Jim Whittemore, Chris Vine, Werner Puntigam, William Schimmel.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Daniel O’Sullivan

(Grumbling Fur, Guapo, Miasma & the Carousel of Headless Horses, Ulver, Sunn O))), Æthenor, Laniakea, Miracle, Mothlite, and This Is Not This Heat.)

Music Richard Youngs - Ein Klein Nein Alabaster DePlume - Instrumentals Hildegard von Bingen - O Nobilissima Viriditas Francisco de Penalosa - Missa Ave Maria Peregrina Carlo Gesualdo - Responsoria 1611 Dirty Projectors - Five EPs Sonic Boom - All Things Being Equal Brother Peter Broderick - Blackberry Richard Horowitz - Eros Of Arabia Duncan Trussell Family Hour Cocteau Twins in the bath

Books/comics Alexander Tucker - Entity Reunion II Derek Jarman - Chroma Stephen Harrod Buhner - Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm The Penguin Book Of Irish Poetry - edited by Patrick Crotty The Gospel Of Ramakrishna - translated by Swami Nikhilananda Lucretius - De Rerum Natura Plotinus - Enneads Ram Dass - Grist For The Mill Lisa Brown - Phantom Twin

Other Fasting / meditation / macrodosing Walks in freshly coppiced woodland (for the smell mainly). Plants / Foraging / Growing Traditional ferments Douglas Sirk movies Mandolorian Writing songs on the piano Rediscovery of Kenneth Graham via my kids

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Karl O’Connor (Regis)

01.Wolfgang Press - Unremembered, Remembered 02. Klara Lewis - Ingrid Live at Fylkingen 03. Jesu - Terminus 04. Dave Ball - Leeds Poly Demos 1979 05. Edwin Pouncey - Rated Sav X (the Savage Pencil Skratchbook) 06. The Bug - In Blue 07. New Order - Power,Corruption and Lies ( Writing Sessions  ) 08. JG Thirlwell and Simon Steensland - Oscillospira 09. FM Einheit and Andreas Ammer - Hammerschlag 10. Thurston Moore - By The Fire 11. Body Stuff - Body Stuff 3 12. Ann M Hogan - Honeysuckle Burials 13. Rob Halford - Confess (Autobiography)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Caleb Braaten (Sacred Bones Records)

Shirley Collins Hearts Ease Dehd Flowers Of Devotion Duma Duma Bob Dylan Rough and Rowdy Ways Green-House Six Songs for Invisible Gardens John Jeffery Passage Drew McDowall Agalma Sweeping Promises Hunger For a Way Out Colter Wall Western Swing & Waltzes and Other Punchy Songs Woods Strange to Explain

My Favorite 90’s Nostalgia Movie Rewatches

Colors Ghost Dog Menace II Society The Player Rounders Safe Starship Troopers Trees Lounge Vampires Waiting For Guffman

Most Culturally Bankrupt Year : 1997

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Charlie Looker

(composer, Psalm Zero, Extra Life, Seaven Teares)

Ten Things That Didn’t Happen in 2020

1.  I didn’t write a ton of new music. Don’t get me wrong, I wrote some. I always do. But mostly I focused on my new YouTube channel, essays, and on getting old recordings released. I haven’t even been working a day-job so I thought I was going to write my next Ring Cycle, but I really didn’t find Covid inspiring.

2.  Trump wasn’t re-elected. Cool.

3. I didn’t lose anyone to Covid. I am, of course, profoundly grateful for this. But I feel pretty embarrassed remembering group-texting ten friends in March, “We are all going to see a loved one die. Every single one of us. Don’t kid yourselves”. I can get hysterical, and that was somewhat irresponsible of me.

4.  No revolution happened. I don’t mean to be smug or cynical, or to belittle anyone’s participation in the protests. But, as far as I can tell, nothing happened in 2020 that promises to reduce police brutality or human suffering of any kind. We’ll see. That burning Minneapolis police station was exciting to watch at the time, if only on an aesthetic level.

5.  I have a stack of unread books I bought this year, just staring at me, with nary a crease among them. These include:

Adorno and Horkheimer, The Dialectic of Enlightenment (looks amazing, but I haven’t touched it) Marx, Grundrisse (it’s 1000 pages for fuck’s sake. Amazon also accidentally sent me two copies, and its double presence in the stack is just comical) Reza Negarestani, Intelligence and Spirit (the first 15 pages blew my mind, then my mind blew it off)

6.  I didn’t settle into living in LA. I moved here six months before Covid and I was just starting to cultivate some friendships and play shows. This was quashed and I still feel like I still live in New York. I still barely know the layout of the city here.

7.  No brand-new buzzy musical artists burst onto the scene, that I can recall. No new hyped micro-genre of the moment. There was just no way for there to be a hot new trend. I’d say that was refreshing, but it wasn’t.

8.  Tyson’s return was not awesome. Two minute rounds, ended in a draw. I’ve been getting way into boxing this past year. This fight was a bummer. I’m looking forward to Mayweather vs Logan Paul (LOL) because we know it’s comedy ahead of time.

9.  For three weeks in July, I didn’t do a single thing other than watch street fight compilations on YouTube and Worldstar. That’s just grim.

10.  There were no school shootings in March. Apparently, this was the first March with no school shootings since 2002. Not a single 7th grader got a hand job in March either. I cannot begin to imagine what it’s like to be a kid now.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Chuck Bettis

https://chuckbettis.com

Other People's Music released this year:

Coil "Musick to Play in the Dark" (Dais)

Duma "s/t" (Nyege Nyege Tapes) Twig Harper "External Boundless Prison/ in 4 parts EP" (self-release) I.P.Y. (Ikue Mori, Phew, YoshimiO) "I.P.Y." (Tzadik) Kill Alters "A2B2 Live Stream 11/13/2020" (self-release) Krallice "Mass Cathexis" (self-release) Lust$ickPuppy "Cosmic Brownie" (self-release) Doug McKechnie "San Francisco Moog: 1968-72" (VG+ Records) Merlin Nova "Boo!" (self-release) Omrb "Milandthriust, The Graths of Mersh" (self-release) Akio Suzuki & Aki Onda "gi n ga" (self-release) Yoth Iria "Under His Sway" (Repulsive Echo) Wetware "Flail" (Dais)

My own music released this year:

collaborations

Chatter Blip "Microcosmopolitan" (Contour Editions) Matmos "The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form" (Thrill Jockey) Reverse Bullets  "Dreampop Dsyphoria" (self-release) Snake Union "live at Roulette" (self-release) Snake Union w/ Hisham Bharoocha, Bonnie Jones, Heejin Jang, Matthew Regula "Three Arrows" (Rat Route) Thomas Dimuzio "Balance" (Gench Music) YoshimiO & Chuck Bettis  "Live at the Stone" (Living Myth)

solo Chuck Bettis "Arc of Enlghtenment"  (Living Myth) Chuck Bettis "Motion Parallax"  (Living Myth)

compilation Various Artist "Polished Turds Vol.1" (Granpa)

Music Books read this year

"Intermediary Spaces" by Eliane Radigue/Julia Eckhardt (Umland) "Ennio Morricone In His Own Words" by Ennio Morricone/Alessandro De Rosa (Oxford University Press) "Free Jazz In Japan: A Personal History" by Soejima Teruto (Public Bath Press) "Rumors of Noizu: Hijokaidan and the Road to 2nd Damascus" by Kato David Hopkins (Public Bath Press)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Maya Hardinge

(musician / artist)

list of things i liked this year

first ever solo road trip through new mexico and Texas right before lockdown experiencing manhattan with no cars on the road . having a car to escape in to nature. (which i craved so much) walks and bike rides with friends… FRIENDS! The web site ‘workaway’ that helped me feel that there were options for escape. playing games weekly on zoom during lock down teaching yoga weekly on zoom. Witnessing and being part of the BLM protests. witnessing and being part of the demise of T sitting on my couch at 6am drinking a cup of tea, appreciating my apt. making time to meditate. halloween without tourists .

some music I’ve bought and/or enjoyed this year Elvis Perkins-Black Coat Daughter Patricia Kokett -Soi soi Henning Christiansen - OP201 Bryce Hackford- Safe Svitlana Nianio and Oleksander - Snayesh yak? rozkazhy Brannten schnure - Sommer im Pfirsichhain Killing Joke - Nighttime David Shea - Tower of mirrors Shakey - Shakey Woodford halse tapes Coil - Musick to play in the dark

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

BJ Nilsen

sound artist / composer

Work 2020

Despite Covid 19 lots of things actually did happen.

In Feburary I visited the only active nuclear plant in The Nederlands as part of my "Expanded Field Recording” project together with SML. In March revisited the Acousmonium at the Elevate Festival in Graz with an additional trip deep inside the Schlossberg recording old mining trains. In March and April I did two daily recording projects “Pending and Auditory Scenes” - both of Amsterdam during lockdown. In May did my first Zoom field recording workshop with the CAMP project. In June & July  two research trips in Waldviertel, Austria with Franz Pomassl. In August recorded bells and organs in 10 different churches around Amsterdam for Jacob Lekkerkerker. In September recorded Kali Malone at the Orgelpark in Amsterdam. Performed at Heart of Noise Festival in Innsbruck and A4 in Bratislava. Also went ice-skating for first time in 20? Years. In November and December I travelled to Jeju island to record field recordings for a project by Femke Herregraven for the Gwangju Biennale, commissioned for 2021. Did lots of gardening, released two tapes “Call it Philips, Eindoven” and “Zomer 2020” with Sigtryggur Berg Sigmarsson. NOW! Looking forward to 2021.

http://bjnilsen.info https://soundcloud.com/bjnilsen/sets/auditory-scenes-amsterdam

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Vicki Bennett

(People Like Us)

Negativland - True False https://negativland.com/products/truefalse-cd (this came out last year but is so THIS year) Bob Dylan - Rough and Rowdy Ways https://www.bobdylan.com/albums/rough-and-rowdy-ways/ The Soft Pink Truth - We from Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase https://thesoftpinktruth.bandcamp.com/album/shall-we-go-on-sinning-so-that-grace-may-increase Carl Stone - Stolen Car https://unseenworlds.bandcamp.com/album/stolen-car Porest - Sedimental Gurney https://porest.bandcamp.com/album/sedimental-gurney Matmos - The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form https://matmos.bandcamp.com/album/the-consuming-flame-open-exercises-in-group-form Domenique Dumont - Miniatures De Auto Rhythm https://antinoterecordings.bandcamp.com/album/atn044-domenique-dumont-miniatures-de-auto-rhythm The The - See Without Being Seen https://www.thethe.com/product/see-without-being-seen-cd/ Ciggy de la Noche - Hold Tight HMRC https://soundcloud.com/ciggydelanoche/hold-tight-hmrc Neil Cicierega - Mouth Dreams http://www.neilcic.com/mouthdreams/

and my details: http://peoplelikeus.org/ https://peoplelikeus-vickibennett.bandcamp.com/ pic: http://peoplelikeus.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Welcome-Abroad-promo3-2-scaled.jpg

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

DJ Food

Music - Type 303 - Sticky Disco / Analogue Acidbath 7" (45 Live) The British Space Group - The Ley of the Land CD (Wyrd Britain) Squarepusher - Be Up A Hello LP / Warp 10 NTS mix (Warp) dgoHn - Undesignated Proximate (Modern Love) LF58 - Alterazione LP (Astral Industries) Robert Fripp - Music For Quiet Moments series (DGM) Run The Jewels - RTJ4 (BMG) Simf Onyx - Magenta Skyline / The Unresolved 7" (Delights) Luke Vibert - Modern Rave LP (Hypercolour) JG Thirlwell & Simon Steensland - Oscillospira (Ipecac) Aural Design - Looking & Seeing 7" / DL (Russian Library) Luke Vibert - Rave Hop (Hypercolour) Clipping. with Christopher Fleeger - Double Live (Sub Pop) APAT - Terry Riley's 'In C' performed on Modular Synthesizer (YouTube) Field Lines Cartographer - The Spectral Isle LP (Castles In Space) Jane Weaver - The Revolution of Super Visions single (Fire Records) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - K.G. LP (Flightless) Humanoid - Hed-Set - forthcoming on (De:tuned)

Film / TV - Inside No.9 (BBC) What We Do In The Shadows Season 2 (Netflix) Tales From The Loop (Amazon) Keith Haring - Street Art Boy (BBC) John Was Trying To Contact Aliens (Netflix) The Social Dilemma (Netflix) The Mandalorian (Season 2) (Disney+) Long Hot Summers - The Style Council documentary (Sky Arts) Zappa (Alex Winter)

Books / Comics / Magazines Confessions of a Bookseller - Shaun Bythell (Profile books) The Often Wrong - Farel Dalrymple (Image Comics) Edwin Pouncey - Rated SavX (Strange Attractor Press) Jeffrey Lewis - Fuff (all issues - really late to the party on this one) Rian Hughes - XX - A Novel, Graphic (Picador) Cosey Fanni Tutti - Art, Sex, Music (Faber) Caza - Kris Kool (Passenger Press) Dan Lish - Egostrip Vol.1 Electronic Sound magazine Decorum - Jonathan Hickman & Mike Huddleston (Image) John Higgs - Stranger Than We Can Imagine Simon Halfon - Cover To Cover (Nemperor)

Very few exhibitions or shows this year for obvious reasons

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[angelicmichael]

Imminient Annihilation Sounds so Dope, Chapter Six

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Pure Madison and Micheal content. They decide what to do after the whole fiasco with Micheals soulmate. There is implied smut in this near the end of the chapter!! This chapter is also another MICHEALS POV chapter so keep that in mind when reading!! This chapter is also incredibly angsty.. basically this chapter is just showing how soft and whipped Micheal is for Madison lmaoo

Words: 3.3k+

A/N: If you read this fic on AO3 then you know I’m literally just copying and pasting my chapter summaries lmao. Anyways, likes and reblogs always appreciated and let me know if you wanna be on the tag list!!

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Your typical morning routine consisted of you waking up around 7 or 8 am, checking your email to see if anyone from the cooperative contacted you, and then carrying on with your day. However, your mornings were looking really different lately.

Over the past two days, you let yourself wake up naturally - or if you heard Madison stir or wake up first you would wake up too. It was nice to let the rays of the sun and chirping of the birds naturally lead you out of slumber, not to be awakening by your deafening alarm clock or feel groggy from over sleeping.

However the circumstances you were now in weren’t too nice though. Waking up was probably the nicest part of your day, sadly. Cherishing the fact that your girlfriend was even still alive would be another highlight of your day.

After you got your bearings together after that night that you had met your soulmate in person, you contacted the cooperative and told them you would need a couple days of a break - without any contact during the break what so ever. Yesterday was the last day of no contact. Today, in a couple hours actually, you would be meeting Jeff and Mutt to get a matience update on Ms. Mead which would be your introduction back into working with the cooperative.

However, you still had a couple hours left until you had to leave Madison. After waking up naturally a couple minutes ago, you lay in Madison’s bed.. trying to get the motivation to actually open your eyes and wake up.

After the events that had occurred two days ago you basically had moved in with Madison, sure it wasn’t official but you were here 24/7. She never asked you to stay but she didn’t have too, you knew it was the right thing to do. And even by reading her mind you knew it was what she (not so secretly) wanted you to do.

After she nearly died you felt insanely guilty. If it wasn’t for you having all of these fucking soulmate issues she wouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place. But you knew there was no way for you to predict what happened.

When you met your soulmate, you were supposed to get to the house to meet her before Madison did. The whole point was for you two to arrive at the same time, or atleast you to show up first so that you both could ambush your soulmate at the same time but obvisouly that didn’t happen.

Everything that could’ve gone wrong, did go wrong. Of course your soulmate wasn’t supposed to have such strong powers either. You knew she had powers but when you switched with her and you were in her body, her powers weren’t strong at all. She only had two powers that you were aware of which were fire and the ability to bring people back from the dead. but then she showed up a couple days ago and apparently had even more advanced powers than you did? You were beyond baffled and so fucking angry. Angry that her powers grew so fast and angry that you didn’t pick up on it somehow. How could you have made mistake like this? You couldn’t help but blame yourself for not knowing about your soulmates powers, and than having Madison pay the price for it.

Unpredictability was a characteristic that you despised of the most. Not being able to predict someone made you feel helpless and out of control. You supposed the feeling of wanting to be in control came from the lack of control you felt while growing up. The situations you were put in and the hatred your family felt about you were totally out of your control. And now, you were really starting to feel out of control once again.

You’ve never met anyone who your powers didn’t work on and you honestly never thought that you would.. That’s why you felt so baffled on what to do now. You first had your suspicions about your powers not working on her when you saw her on the porch a couple nights ago.

The first thing you did when you met someone was read their mind. Sometimes it was a conscious act, sometimes not. However, when you met your soulmate you weren’t able to read her mind. No thoughts of hers filled your mind when you looked into her eyes, only your own thoughts seemed to echo in your ears.

You should’ve known then but you wrote that off as maybe one power of yours being defective. However, when you tried to kill her your suspicions became true.

At first you felt stupid for thinking you would be able to take her out so easily. Then you figured it was probably impossible to kill your own soulmate, even if you did hate them. Now you would just have to wait for the apocalypse to take her out you supposed, since she seemed to be invincible towards you. However that felt wrong. It felt wrong to just wait out her death, you felt even more angry and vengeful towards her more than ever that she fucked with Madison. You felt it would only be right if you were the one to take her last breath from her, not some generic bomb that would take out the entire population as well. You wanted to see the life leave her eyes, you wanted to see her be tortured and cry and writhe in pain in her last moments on earth. No one hurt your girlfriend and got away with it, the bitch had to pay. Actions have consequences after all. You just had to find a new way to make this happen but you knew if there was a will there was a way.

She could block your powers, yes. That was a fact but if you physically attacked her? Like with your fists? There’s no way she could be immune to that if you actually manually killed her with your own two hands.

It’s not like you couldn’t choke someone out, hell, you did it to your own grandma and nearly killed her in the process.. You guess that was the plan then. It seemed simple enough, easy even. Almost too easy. You felt stupid for returning back to L.A if you were just going back to Lousiana but you knew that the choice to come back was necessary. Madison needed time to rest, even though you healed her pretty much instantly after the incident happened.

You finally stretched in your bed. Or Madison’s bed, actually. Your arm wandered over to the left side of the bed where Madison typically resided, your hand reaching out for her to pull her close to you - but she wasn’t there. Instead your hand only felt the semi cold bed sheets and your stomach dropped. Where was she?

In normal circumstances you wouldn’t be so irrational and think the worst but after knowing that someone existed who was stronger than you, you were a little on edge.

Sitting up straight so quickly on the bed made you slightly light headed, but you quickly focused instead on trying to hear her thoughts. If Madison was still in her apartment or atleast in close proximity, you would be able to hear her thoughts.. and you did. You didn’t bother listening to exactly what they were, you just heard them - like a slight buzzing or humming noise.. like a swarm of insects almost. You got out of the bed and decided to check the kitchen first, the door to the master bathroom was empty and obvisouly vacated.

The smell of coffee started to grow stronger as you approached the kitchen. The wooden floors nearly stung your feet with how cold they are - as you were barefoot. In fact, the only garments you happened to be wearing was a pair of tight fitting black boxers.

Then when you turned the corner into the kitchen you saw her. You smirked, she was nearly naked. She wore ‘clothes’ (if you could even call them that) that matched yours. She sported only a tight black bra and matching black underwear, with a white sheer robe that was thrown over that was very loosely and lazily tied around the waist - a pathetic attempt in your opionion to remain modest. I mean after all, you did have neighbors. Madison lived in the city in a apartment with so many windows you even bother to count them all.

She didn’t even notice you when you came into the kitchen. She close to the sink, looking over the city through one of the big windows with a mug in hand. Moodily sipping.

That was when you started to notice that something was off. Off with Madison. Something was wrong, very, very wrong. Madison was never the type to get up at 8 or 9 in the morning and make coffee and then - do whatever the hell she was doing now. Drinking coffee and looking at the view? Who was this? It certainly wasn’t the Madison you grew to know and love.

As of late, She always slept in until 11 or noon, and then she would try her best to convince you to stay in bed with her all day and take care of her.. And you had no problem doing so - in fact you were the one who insisted on watching her since you felt so guilty. It was your fault she got hurt in the first place. It was just.. very unsettling to see her like this.

You slowly approached her silently until you were just a couple steps behind her. You even stopped breathing to avoid making your presence known.

“Darling”?

You spoke. Your voice cut into the crisp morning air like a knife. Madison jumped nearly a foot, letting go of the coffee cup but mere seconds before it hit the ground - you were able to catch it with your magic and put it safely on the kitchen island counter. Thank god for your cat like reflexes your father graced you with. The coffee was defintly spilled on the floor though.. Dammit.

Madison whipped around,

“Fucking shit Micheal”.

Her arms folded over her chest. Her eyes looked tired, they were rimmed with dark circles and there was residue from mascara under her eyes. You wonder if she got any sleep last night at all... you thought she got sleep last night since you slept next to her but perhaps not. The expression on her face was more than just being tired though. Her face held some other expression that you couldn’t exactly put your finger on.

“what are you doing up this early? Are you okay”?

You asked. You were expecting some kind of sarcastic rebuttal, or atleast for her to roll her eyes but she did neither of those things. Instead she briefly looked at her nails, licked her lips and tried to not meet your gaze. She was nervous, that was easy to tell. You were about to open your mouth again to try and pursuade her to communicate with you but she beat you to it this time.

“Ever since.. that situation happened, I’ve been having nightmares Micheal. Horrible nightmares, and if it’s not nightmares than it’s insomnia but you haven’t even noticed have you? You’ve been so fucking distant lately-“!

You felt as if a rug was pulled out from under you. Feelings of anger and confusion started to rise within you and it was starting to get hard to control yourself. You’ve always had zero patience when it came to other people blaming you or getting upset with you.

“What are you talking about? You’ve been my number one priority Madison. I put the cooperative on hold once again, and now for the second time the end times are being put off for you-“

You started but Madison cut you off, she was now nearly screaming. Her voice rang throughout the apartment - shrill and sharp.

“No Micheal! I have never been your priority. Do you really want me to start listing people who are a bigger priority to you than me? Because it’s nearly fucking everyone”.

The anger you felt, first in your chest and now starting to spread throughout your body was getting harder and harder for you to control. You knew that you didn’t want to hurt Madison, but it was starting to become difficult to really convince yourself of that. You could feel your shoulders and your jaw tense up, your hands were clenched into tight fists as your teeth gritted together. When you spoke it came out as a hiss.

“Madison. Everything I’m doing is for you, it’s for us. The whole point of trying to end the fucking world is so that we can live a better life without having to deal with all of this bullshit. The fact that you can’t recognize that is fucking alarming, to say the least”.

You swallowed and crossed your arms, and tried to shake out the tension you felt by rolling your shoulders back. Madison sighed and frowned. She walked closer to you and put her hand on your shoulder.

That was another thing you loved about Madison. She wasn’t scared of you. You knew that was the only reason why Jeff and Mutt, and most others, listened and obeyed your every command. It was more than just respect, they feared you. You knew within a split second you could obliterate their soul - like they never exsisted. Madison knew this and yet she didn’t cower. She wasn’t afraid to tell you no, it made her unique. It made her stand out.

“I know that, Hun. It’s just.. that’s not it. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here”.

She said and she paused and stared at you. Her eyes narrowed, she seemed deep in thought - as if she was trying to find the right words to say. Easily you could read her mind and just find out what she was trying to say but out of respect for her and this situation, you chose not too.

“Micheal.. Ever since.. you switched you’ve been different. Your close with me physically but your distant. You’ve been depressed and I think we both know how to solve this problem, we just don’t like the answer”.

The anger you felt washed away once you heard those words. It was replaced with fear, worry and abondenment. That one thing you fucking feared the most, probably more than death or even disappointing your father - being abondend again. You couldn’t take it - you couldn’t. Tears started to prick at your eyes and you hated yourself for it. You hated being weak. You could feel yourself shaking ever so slightly, and Madison having her hand on your shoulder still, felt you shaking.

She brought you in for a hug, her skin was cold but it was still a comforting gesture. You felt her lips softly kiss your cheek and then she whispered into your ear,

“This isn’t goodbye, I would never do that to you. I would never leave you Micheal”.

She parted from your hug just so she could make eye contact as she spoke. You felt a stab in your heart as you saw her eyes were wet, she was crying. Something that was extremly uncharacteristic of her.

“But we need to take a step back. At least for now because you need to figure this thing out with her. I can’t stand to see you so distant and depressed Micheal, you need to see her and atleast try to have some kind of relationship with her. Whether that’s friendship or dating, that’s up to you but you need to try. I’ll always be here for you”.

You felt yourself start to breath faster and faster as you shook your head, in total disbelief. There was no way what she was saying was real, there had to be some other way.

“No. No, There has to be some other way Madison. I have a new plan to try to kill her, we don’t have to use magic”.

You pleaded, your voice sounded strange from you being upset. You wiped away your tears with the back of your hand as you sniffled. If it was anyone else other than Madison (or perhaps Ms. Mead) you would have killed them on the spot for allowing them to see you cry. No one saw you cry. Execpt Madison.

Madison shook her head at your response.

“Micheal, we both know that’s not a option and that’s not going to work. The fucking bitch can seem to block your powers, I’m sure she would find some way to defy death even if you did choke her out”.

She grabbed a pack of ciggerates from the island counter and took a ciggerate, and with the wave of her hand lit it. She took a hit and slowly exhaled and then continued talking,

“Trust me, I want that cunt dead just as much as you do but.. I also know you Micheal. And I want you to be happy and as much as I’ll be jealous, she’s what you need right now”.

As soon as you felt a tear slip onto your cheek, you moved in to kiss her. Hard. Of course you took the ciggerate away from her first though. You put both of your hands on the side of her face as you first felt her freeze, then quickly melt into the kiss as she swiftly crossed her hands over the back of your neck.

Your intentions were to give her one last good kiss but this was quickly turning into more. One kiss turned into two and before you knew it you full blown making out. Tongue and everything. The kiss was sloppy and full of emotion, too much emotion than you liked. You pulled away, partially to get a breath and partially to talk to her. You moved your hands from her face but her hands still lingered on you, not letting you go.

“Madison I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care if she’s my soulmate. I want you, your all I need”.

You pleaded. Your swollen lips made it difficult to talk.

“Less talking, more kissing”.

Madison growled, and pulled you in for another kiss. You lifted her up by grabbing the back of her legs and having her jump so that you could put her on top of the kitchen island. She scooter back so that she could lay down and pulled you on top of her. you heard the coffee cup you placed ealier on the island hit the ground and shatter but you didn’t care. The ciggerates along with many other belongings were also now on the floor as well but lust was now starting to consume you and cloud your judgement to the point where you just didn’t fucking care. The only thing you cared about was making Madison the happiest woman in the world, currently.

~

After seeing Jeff and Mutt and letting them know all future cooperative meetings would be done via zoom, you returned back to your penthouse. You thought briefly about going back to Madison’s apartment to get your things but if what she said was true then you would be able to get your stuff back anytime.. At least you hoped. You tried to not think too much about that.

But right now you sat in your home that was currently lit by candles - you were prepping to talk with your father to hopefully get some insight about this situation.

You had your laptop in front of you that you just booked a one way flight to Lousiana with that would be leaving tonight. Here goes nothing.

Taglist: @mindlesschicca

[fan-imagines]

Dylan O’Brien~Big Girls Don’t Cry

MASTERLIST

Dylan O’Brien x NeutralReader

Synopsis - you are an actor on Teen Wolf. you and Dylan are filming a scene, but there’s something in your past that doesn’t allow you to cry. Dylan helps you when you have a panic attack about it.

Word Count - 2.1k+

**Warnings** mentions of abuse and drunk driving accident, panic and anger attack, self-depricating

a.n. - hi! so this one is a little more serious so read with caution, and i also know that the way he stops the panic attack isn’t an accurate way to do so, i just wanted to use it because of the Stydia moment. also, i apologize for this being so late in the week. i have been insanely busy this week, but you don’t care lol. enjoy this imagine!

‘’Come on, Y/c/n, just say something. Please.’’ Dylan says his line to me, as he forcefully waves his arm to get his point across.

‘’What do you expect me to do, Stiles? I’m not equipped for this!’’ I shout back at him, and try to have some form of tear fall down my face. At least have my eyes pool, but this is the seventh take and nothing has happened yet. We used some tear-jerker eye drops, but they didn’t give the effect the director wanted. I am always told that I am a great actor, and that’s specifically why Jeff Davis had a role made for me. I can act out almost anything, but for the longest time, I have not been able to cry. I hate that I can’t cry. Well, I guess I could, but if I start, I won't be able to stop.

‘'I don’t know! I’m not equipped for this either, but you see me doing it.’’

‘’I can’t. I don’t... I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to lose you.’’ A tear is supposed to fall from eye, Stiles is to come up to me and wipe it away, then embrace me in a hug. No tear falls, so the scene doesn’t advance.  

‘’Cut!’’ I hear the director call, and he sounds very annoyed, which I completely understand. I’m holding up production, and I can’t seem to do a simple task. I sigh heavily in frustration. ‘’That’s it for the day! Let’s go ahead and wrap it up.’’ He stands from his chair, rubs his temple, and begins walking away. I can feel the anger at myself rise up in my body, and I just want to get to my trailer so I can release it.

‘’Hey, Y/n, it’s-’’ But I don’t hear the rest as I am making a bee-line for my trailer. I open up the trailer door, and rip off the jacket I had on, as it was making me hot. 

I close my eyes and breathe through my nose to try and calm myself down, but it’s not working. Thoughts are flying through my head, and overcoming my brain.  

How are you even actor? You’re dumb, you can’t even do a simple thing as cry. You’re not an actor, you’re a child thinking they can do whatever they want. You’re stupid. You’re an idiot. You think you can do well with this job?

I clench my hair, trying to claw the thoughts out of my brain. I open my mouth to scream, but no noise comes out. I don’t want make too much noise, still a little aware of the other people on this lot. My legs give out, and I fall to the ground and lean my forehead against it. I bring my arm up and slam it back down to the floor of the trailer until my palm hurts. My breathing gets ragged as the thoughts continue to fly through my head.

You think that anyone on this team likes you? You hold up production, you forget your lines, you annoy everyone, and you know it. You ruin everything. You can’t do anything. You don’t matter, and you can’t save anyone. You couldn’t save your mom or sister. You can’t even save yourself.  

My throat feels thick, and I feel like the room is crushing in on me. I cry out, and tears fly from my eyes for the first time in years when I think about what happened to my family. The sobs croak out as the air gets thinner in the room. I look at my hands through my tear-clouded eyes, and see them shaking violently. I can’t do this. I can’t think straight. I can’t even breathe. Oh my gosh, I can’t breathe. The door to my trailer is opened, but I don’t hear it over the sounds of me trying to catch a breath.  

I don’t notice that anyone walked in until Dylan is sitting in front of me, looking worriedly at my eyes that are tear-filled.  

‘’Y/n. Listen to my voi --- come on you can --- breathe ---- focus on me and ---.’’ His voice cuts in and out in my ears, not being able to understand what he is trying to say. He continues to look at me, seemingly trying to figure out what to do. The next thing I know, his lips are on mine, and it’s few seconds before I’m kissing him back. He pulls back in a few seconds, and I am finally able to take deep, heavy breaths; the thoughts in my head lightly subsiding to the back of my mind.  

‘'Dylan.’’ I say, breathlessly. I look up at him, ^^^ still catching my breath, and happy to have the small distraction from my turmoil.

‘’I’m, I’m sorry. That’s not how I would usually calm someone down from something like this. I don’t know, it worked for our characters, and I thought I would try it.’’ He says, sheepishly, waiting for my reaction. My breathing stalls to almost normal, and my heart beat slows. I try to focus on everything else, but what was swirling in my mind. I look at the TV that’s mounted on the wall. The black sofa that turns out into a bed. I look at my trailer door which Dylan came in from. I look at Dylan’s blue shirt, his white and gray flannel that he still has on from Stiles’ outfit. I look at his golden-brown eyes, and the hint of worry behind them. I notice his freckles that scatter along his face. There aren’t too many, but there are enough to lightly coat his face. My eyes shift to his lips that were just on mine. They are nicely shaped for his face, and are usually in the form of a smirk or a smile. I look back to his eyes, feeling calmer, but suddenly realize that I haven’t said anything except his name.

‘’Thank, thank you,’’ My voice comes out shaky, and my body is starting to feel tired and shaky. My palm hurts from where I was hitting it, and my head feels hot, like it’s going to explode. ‘’I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t come.’’ His eyes change from worry to warmth.  

‘’Here, let me help you up.’’ He stands before grabbing my elbows and helping me stand. My legs are still wobbly, and I almost fall again, but Dylan catches me. He leads me to the sofa a few feet away, and crouches in front of me to continue to be face to face. ‘’Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?’’ His voice is non-judgmental, and genuinely concerned, which makes me think. I can’t have this bottled in anymore. I can’t keep living with this burden that could weigh me down completely much longer.  

‘’Umm,’’ I start.

‘’You don’t have to, Y/n. Just you can, if you want. I’m here to listen.’’ His voice comes out quickly, but still concerned, wanting to understand what’s going on.  

‘’No, I do. It's just, I haven’t thought about this, let alone talked about it since it happened.’’

‘’You don’t have to tell me. We can just sit here until you get annoyed of me, but it may help.’’

‘’I want to. I think it’s time to finally get this off my chest,’’ I look down at my hands, trying to figure out where to start, ‘’My mom was left by my dad when I was little. She somewhat quickly remarried, needing help around the house, and with finances. They had a baby together, and the baby was a girl. My stepdad became abusive towards me, but told me that if I cried, he would hit my mom, or my sister, who was a toddler at the time. I cried twice, and the pain was much worse. He ‘dropped’ my sister, which gave her a concussion. So, I bore it. I never cried after that. I couldn’t risk him hitting my mom or sister again. I never even told my mom what was happening, she just assumed I was a clumsy child. One day, he got super drunk and upset, so he decided to take my mom and sister on a drive. They got in an accident, caused by him, kill-’’ I feel my heart start pounding at the thought, and reliving what happened. He grabs my hand, and lightly squeezes it. I take a breath and continue, needing to do this, ‘’Killing them. I don’t have any other family that stepped up, so I was sent to foster care. That’s where I would pretend to be someone different in every house I went into. It was the only thing that kept me rooted. I wouldn’t think about my mom or sister. I was someone else. I was playing a character, and when you’re acting, you don’t think about your life. If I cry, I am showing weakness, and there are consequences. I’m messed up, and crying only reminds me of that. I, I didn’t do anything to save them. If I told my mom, maybe it would have been different. Maybe she could have left. Her and my sister would still be alive. I wouldn’t have had to watch as they were lowered into the ground. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even cry at their funeral. I mean, who even does that? Who does that?’’ Another tear falls, and I furiously wipe it away.  

‘’Hey, it’s okay to cry. It doesn't show weakness. It helps you build strength. You get out what's causing you pain, and you learn how to live with it. There are no bad consequences to letting out how you are feeling. It helps show how you think, how you care, and how you love. I know you loved your sister and mom, that’s why you shielded what happened to them. What happened to you. You can remember them without that man corrupting that. I’m sure your mom made you and your sister a PB&J, and you sat outside with a glass of milk, looking at the sun.’’ I lightly smile and nod, thinking about this. She actually gave us apple juice. We had just gotten back from the park, where my mom would push me on swings. ‘’Not all the memories have to be bad. You are not weak, in the slightest, Y/n. You endured that pain so your family wouldn’t have to. You are strong. Sitting here with me, telling me about what happened, and doing so well in life, despite what you went through is strong. You’re stronger than anyone I know. I am weak compared to you. Yesterday, I shed a little tear when I toasted my bread a little too long.’’ I laugh at this, and he smiles. I nod, accepting what he is saying. I am strong. I lived through torment, and I am successful now. They are still with me, watching over me. I kept them safe from what I could, and that was strong of me. Crying for them isn’t weak. Crying isn’t showing weakness. I’m not weak.  

I lean forward, and grab Dylan to pull him to me. I wrap my arms around his neck, and hug him tightly. He hugs me back in an instant, just as hard.  

‘’Thank you, Dylan.’' He hums, and we stay in this position.

~~~~

‘’Come on, Y/c/n, just say something. Please.’’ We just came on set, and we’re doing our scene again, hopefully successful this time.  

‘’What do you expect me to do, Stiles? I’m not equipped for this!’’ I shout. I think about how wonderful my mom was, and how pretty my sister was. My eyes pool, giving the right affect, and I see Dylan lightly nod.  

‘'I don’t know! I’m not equipped for this either, but you see me doing it.’’ Dylan comes closer to me, meeting his mark. I let my eyes continue to fill, before saying my next line.  

‘’I can’t. I don’t... I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to lose you.’’ Two tears fall, almost simultaneously, and Dylan wraps his arms around me, making sure to not cover my entire face, as that’s what will show in the camera.  

‘’Trust me, Y/c/n. You can do this. I’ll always be here with you; I’m not going anywhere.’’

‘’And, cut! That was amazing, Y/n. Great job you guys. Let’s get set up for our next scene.’’ I hear. I pull away from Dylan, and he wipes my tears, smiling at me.  

‘’You were fantastic. You’re amazing, Y/n.’’ I smile, and kiss him. He is slightly shocked, but kisses me back in two seconds. We pull away, catching our breath, and I’m the first to speak.  

‘’You did this for me.’’ I tell him.

‘'No, you did this yourself. I just helped you a little.’’

‘’Thank you, regardless.’’ I chuckle.  

‘’The pleasure’s mine.’’

‘’Alright, lovebirds, we’re setting up for the next scene.’’ Tyler says to us. We both look at him, and nod, following him to the golf cart, our hands intertwined.  

[strongerwiththepack]

Curiosity

For FabFiveFeb2021 (John).

Thank-you so much to everyone who’s left me such nice comments on my little prompt fics this past week. It gave me the motivation to finally finish this FabFiveFeb fic (on the 1st of March 🤦‍♀️).

A fluffy John and Alan fic. Set 3 years before TAG. Using the prompt ‘A curiosity’. Thank-you @gumnut-logic for organising the challenge!

“Scott come on, I’m too busy this week.”

“You’re busy every week John” Scott rolled his eyes on the hologram, making John pout pathetically. “Stop putting this off. Besides, you’d be able to test out the coding on your sample collector things while you’re there.”

John narrowed his eyes, he did need to do that, but he could do it on Earth or the moon even. There was no need to go to Mars.

“What if there’s a rescue?”

“We can handle it John, a day off isn’t going to kill you.”

John scoffed. “You’re one to talk, Scott.”

“Alan misses you, just do this for him, please John.”

John narrowed his eyes. He knew what Scott was doing. Scott knew he knew as well. Didn’t mean it wasn’t effective.

“Fine.”

So that’s where he found himself now. With Alan. On Mars.

His little brother was having the best day of his life, bouncing around pointing out the different types of soil and rocks. John smiled to himself at the enthusiasm. Alan was going to make a great astronaut someday.

The journey over had been really nice. John had fielded all of Alan’s questions about Thunderbird 3 and space travel. It reminded him of when they were kids and John would help Alan with his homework. He’d even given Alan the chance to pilot which wasn’t all that thrilling when they were already on course but his brother had seemed happy enough.

Despite his reluctance, this was nice.

“Do you think we’ll see any Aliens John?”

John laughed. The transition from describing soil types to the degree of a college PHD student to asking in all seriousness about Aliens was the perfect description of his youngest brother’s personality.

“Not likely Alan.” John chuckled.

The pout added to the humour.

“Do you think dad ever saw any Aliens while he was here?” Alan queried innocently, eyes wide as he waited for an answer.

John swallowed painfully and tried not to put a damper on Alan’s mood. “He never mentioned it if he did.”

“Can we go see dad’s plaque?”

John had been before, with their dad. The footprint in the soil surrounded by a podium. He’d teased the man about it then, thinking it was rather cheesy. Not so much now.

“Unfortunately no, they’re building the new mars colonies around it so it’s closed off at the moment.” John explained. He was glad, the lone footprint would have brought up unwanted feelings this time around. “That mission is set to launch in 2061. It’ll be the first-time humans have set up permanent residence on Mars.”

“Wow” Alan admired in awe. Distraction successful. “They would need a lot of oxygen for that, or maybe one of those prototypes for oxygen conversion has been approved! And obviously they would need some sort of sustainable way to grow food…”

John let Alan trail off on his rant. The kid was going to ace his Mars paper that was for sure.

He still had to test out his sample collection drones. It was his latest project. When he had been at university it had been extremely difficult to gather consistent interplanetary data for his research. The data was out there but it was either impossible to navigate or hidden behind a paywall. He still liaised with a lot of universities and knew it was still a problem. So, he’d decided to create an open-source, easy-to-navigate database for students and researchers around the world.

He could use the data that was already available but like he said none of it was consistent so he and Brains had designed some deep-space drones that could collect all the data they needed.

They were programmed to test gravity, air quality, rock types, temperature and a host of other categories. The engineering behind these tiny drones was insane. John never could’ve done it alone, Brains truly was remarkable. His dad sure knew how to spot talent.

He placed the little drone down before activating it on his tablet.

“Hey Alan, come check this out!”

Alan bounced over excitedly as the rotor blades retracted from the drone and it rose into the air.

“Cool! Can I fly it?”

“There are no controls, it’s fully automated!” John explained as he passed the tablet to his younger brother. “The readings are already coming in, these tiny little bots can produce so much data – it’s going to revolutionise research and academia in the future.”

“Where’s it going now?”

The drone had begun to quickly move away from them before it dropped down into the earth, out of sight.

John took the tablet back. “Hmm looks like it’s found a deep crater, it’s trying to gather below surface data.”

The tablet made a shrill beeping noise. “Hmm looks like it’s found something unusual down there, we can’t get a clear reading.”

They walked over to peer over the edge of the large crater. It spanned at least five meters wide and it was too dark to see how deep.

John grinned at his little brother as he flicked on his helmet torch. “Want to take a look?”

Alan gaped at him, looking into the dark hole before his face broke into a huge grin. “Yes!”

John chuckled. “Okay, come on, let’s get the grappling gear.”

*

He and Alan dropped into the crater that was dimly lit through their suit torches. It was incredibly dusty, their torches reflected off the particles floating in the air. There was a tunnel that led further under the surface. They didn’t have enough light to see more than a few meters in front of them.

“You’re sure about the aliens, right John?” Alan questioned unsurely beside him.

“Yes Alan” John rolled his eyes as he shone his light towards the ceiling of the tunnel. “It the structural integrity I’m more worried about.”

Alan whipped his head up to check as well.

“It’s not too far in, just tread lightly and try not to make any loud noises.” John reasoned.

The drone chose that moment to zoom out of the dark tunnel at them, and Alan yelped in alarm as it almost hit his head.

John rolled his eyes facepalming his helmet as a new dust cloud erupted. “Yeah, loud noises like that.”

Alan smiled sheepishly and whispered. “Sorry.”

John cocked his head towards the tunnel. “C’mon.”

They quickly came across the source of the anomaly. There was something partially buried in the red-tinged soil.

“No way…” John gasped as they got closer.  “Do you know what that is Alan?”

“Uhhh” Alan focused his torch on it as he inched closer. “A rover?”

“It’s the NASA Curiosity rover!” John explained, brushing off some of the dust that had settled there. “It went missing in 2040 and was never recovered.”

“It looks like a bit of a relic.” Alan commented.

“Oh it is.” John said with a smile. “It was launched in 2011. It still holds the record for the longest operating rover on mars.”

“Oh cool.” Alan said airily.

John chuckled. He could tell his little brother wasn’t impressed. The rover was a dinosaur by their standards but he knew it had been revolutionary at the time.

He couldn’t wait to tell his Grandma. He still remembered her telling him the story of the Curiosity landing. How it had been broadcast live on the television. How Jeff, who’d still been a young child, had sat on her lap bouncing excitedly. The Tracy’s had always had their heart’s in space travel.

“Come on.” John prompted. “We’re gonna tow this thing out of here.”

“Do we have to?” Alan whined. “It’s massive.”

“Yep. Let’s grab the tow cables from Three.” John instructed. “NASA are going to be over the moon.”

“You can’t really ever be over the moon, John.” Alan called over his shoulder.

“I know Alan.”

*

It turned out Curiosity had fallen into the crater and lost power when it got trapped without the sun. When John and Alan pulled it from the crater, it miraculously began to charge through the solar panels again.

And that’s how, in 2057, Curiosity was returned to the world.

[p-osie]

josh peck’s relationship test

author’s note: i wrote this for myself, with my own name inserted, so it’s not super universal, but i’m sure you can make it work. i just love me some david, hope you do too. 

summary: y/n and david film a relationship test with josh peck, then can’t keep their hands off each other in the tesla on the ride home :)

warnings: smut xoxo

“I already hate this,” I say, sitting next to Josh and tucking my feet under my legs.

Josh and David both look at me. “Why?” Josh asks, serious, looking expectant.

“Because now I can’t cuddle David,” I say, popping my voice up an octave and making puppy eyes at David.

Josh pouts his lip and David wracks with laughter, clapping his hands.

Jason’s on the other side of the room, behind the camera. “That’s an intro.”

As Josh scrolls through his notes, looking for the first question, I put my eyes on David.

“Hey,” I whisper seductively, loud enough for the camera. “You look so hot right now.”

“Whoa, Y/N,” Josh scolds, not looking up.

David ignores him, making his face go slack, copying my whisper. “I was just about to tell you the same thing, you steamy little slut.”

“David, ew–” Jason pipes, but I lean into it, sticking out my tongue and leaning towards him. We pull away, right before our mouths touch, both laughing, Josh still uncomfortable.

“We can go, if you guys want,” Jason jokes.

David pulls on Josh’s arm. “Yeah, that would be great, actually.”

At this point, I almost pee myself laughing, my hands covering my mouth.

“Can I please just ask you guys the questions?” Josh groans, still hamming up how uncomfortable he is.

“What’s David’s favorite food?”

“Oh, God. I have no idea,” I lean forward, staring into space, feeling both David and Josh watching me.  “He posts about food so much. He loves so many different types of food…”

I pause for a second. “Actually, yeah. He doesn’t have one.”

Josh gives me a sad face. David cracks his gum, irritated. “Babe. Come on. Buffalo Wild Wings.”

“Oh, as if. You haven’t had B Dubs in months.”

“So?” David argues defensively. “It’s still my favorite.”

“Ugh, fucking– whatever.” I pretend to be mad.

“David?” Josh looks down at my boyfriend.

“Josh?” David mimics, leaning his head briefly on Josh’s shoulder.

“Who’s Y/N’s celebrity crush? Slash hall pass?”

“Jeff,” David jokes, turning to me.

“Stop,” I groan, flopping against the couch. “I hate this joke. It was a year ago!” David laughs at me, then composes his face as he stares into space to think for a second.

“Um– what’s his name– Noah something? Noah Centineo?”

I blow him a kiss. “Good guess, but no cigar, baby boy.”

David groans, then looks to Josh. “Who was it?”

“Harry Styles,” Josh tells him, pretending to look sad for him. David starts banging his head against the soft back of the couch.

“Stupid! Fuck!” he yells. “I knew that!”

Josh starts to ask me the next question before David stands up and throws a burst of dabs all in a row before sticking a whip at the end, hyping himself up. “Can’t! Miss! Another! Question!” he yells.

“Y/N, where did you and David first kiss?”

I smile, beginning to blush, and I watch David and his expression becomes almost the same, his cheeks flushing pink as he waits for me to answer.

“James Charles’ Tesla,” I whisper, almost not in the room because I’m remembering.

“It’s him,” Corinna taps me on the arm. “It’s David.”

“What? Where?” I whip around, almost spilling my drink.

Corinna laughs, but there he is, David Dobrik. There’s almost a glow about him, his big smile and laugh as people perform for his outstretched camera, people orbiting around him. The iPhone flashlight helps, too.

I inhale. “This is stupid. I feel like a dumb fangirl.”

Corinna shakes her head at me, rolling her eyes. “Y/N, it’s not like he doesn’t know who you are. You’ve been talking, he’s not just gonna not realize you’re here or not recognize you. You have green hair.”

I chew on my lip, still watching him. “You have a point.”

After a few moments, David stops recording. The flashlight is turned off. The people that have been clinging to his side starts to dissipate, and then he’s not David Dobrik. He’s just David.

“Okay,” I tell Corinna, downing the rest of my drink. “Fuck it.”

“Whoa, whoa,” she says, a bit of panic in her voice, catching my arm. “You sure you don’t want to make him come to you? Play hard to get?”

I pause, glancing at him. He still hasn’t realized I’m here. “Should I? I don’t really have the patience for that.”

“Y/N!”

I turn at the loud voice, and there’s James, a big smile on him as he comes toward us.

“James, thank you so much for having us,” Corinna reaches out to him first, hugging him. She starts gushing about his makeup, and I glance again at David, who has his eyes on me now. He must have heard James shout my name, and is moving through people, his floppy brown hair standing out as he snakes between the bodies.

“Hey,” he says, smiling broadly. “I thought that was you, greenie.”

“Hey,” I say back, smiling up at him, feeling the alcohol rush into a redness on my cheeks. Before I even decide to say it, I’m saying– “You know, you’re cuter than your hilarious DMs would indicate.”

But he leans back in laughter, his smile booming loudly. “I can’t tell if I should be flattered,” he tells me, close now so that I can hear him in the din of the party.

I’d almost forgotten that Corinna was distracting James until a long-nailed hand taps David on the shoulder.

“David!” James interjects, grabbing both of our shoulders. “Do you want to see my Tesla? It’s the new one.”

David’s face drops in total shock. “Yes. Absolutely,” he looks down at me again. “Come on. The new model is super cool.”

We follow James out of the crowded living room, through a side door and down stairs until we’re in a low-ceilinged garage with white walls and fluorescent lighting.

It’s a sleek navy blue, almost black, Tesla model 3.

James makes squealing noises. “And I got a custom license plate, too.”

I look down and see JAMESCH on a plate near the base of the car.

“Holy fuck,” David says, still flabbergasted. I look up at him. One of his hands is in his hair. “James, please let me sit in it.”

“Sure, sister,” James tosses him the keys, and David catches them with one hand. My girl brain makes my knees shiver slightly.

“Get in with me,” David murmurs down to me, still marveling at the car.

I chuckle. “Sure, Dave.”

When we climb into the car, David turns on his camera immediately and points it toward us. “Hi sisters!” he says, doing James’ signature wave.

I laugh, then hold up a peace sign, pretending to pose.

“So we’re in James Charles’ new Tesla Model 3 right now. And it’s– Y/N, what would you say it’s like?”

I raise my eyebrows, acting impressed, looking around the interior of the car. “It’s insane.”

“Insane,” David repeats. “I mean, this awesome screen. Look, he even named it Sistermobile.” David points to the screen behind the wheel. It does, in little white letters, say Sistermobile.

I laugh, leaning on the console to see. “I guess he has to stay on brand.”

He tilts the camera so it’s just pointing at me. “Plus, it comes with a hot girl.”

I laugh again, even harder, though I melt on the inside. “That’s absolutely right. I was designed by Elon Musk to work as a functioning backseat driver to go with every Tesla vehicle.”

He laughs, makes one or two more jokes, and then switches off the camera. “Where did they go?”

I look up. He’s right– we’re alone in the garage. James and Corinna are gone.

I turn back to face him. “Just us, I guess.”

“Finally.” He breaks into a big smile.

I mock a guffaw, leaning on the console. “Have you been wanting to get me alone, David Dobrik?”

“Absolutely.”

He’s leaning on the console now, too, his breath starting to fan across my face. I look up at him through my lashes. My blood feels like it’s beating inside my cheeks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have ulterior motives.” It doesn’t come out as confident as I want it to.

He giggles slightly, and I can really feel it on my skin. I can feel the vibration of his words as he says, “Like what?”

He can’t stop looking at my lips, and I don’t think I can, either. “You tell me, you’re the one who obviously has them.”

“Let me think.”

I wait for his eyes to flicker down to my parted lips one more time, and then I close the distance between us. His mouth is warm and soft, and I quickly feel all my breath leaving me. Then his hand is in my hair, and his lip is between my teeth, and all too soon, the Tesla begins to honk.

We look up to see James holding the keys, standing with a hand on his hip, the sleeves of his SISTERS hoodie bunched up around his forearms.

David smiles. “That was a really nice moment.”

“Hey, David?” Josh turns to him, smiling. “What’s Y/N’s favorite movie?”

David claps his hands triumphantly. “Easy. Mr. & Mrs. Smith.”

I soften. “Aw, baby.”

He leans forward to look at me. “I know you, babygirl.”

“He knows you, babygirl,” Josh mimics, staring me down. “But it’s time for our lightning round.”

I lean forward, looking directly into the camera, totally focused. Out of the corner of my eye, I see David copy me, and I smirk a little.

“Y/N– David’s favorite salad dressing?”

“Ranch.” Next to Josh, David does a little yes, baby.

“Yes. David– Y/N’s favorite dessert?”

“Cheesecake.”

“Y/N– David would want Shawn Mendes or even more Shawn Mendes.”

I laugh. “More Shawn.”

David laughs, his voice thin and high. “I love him.”

“David– what bothers Y/N the most about your relationship?”

David throws up his hands, and at first, I panic. I almost hadn’t let Josh ask the question.

He surprises me. “This is so easy,” David looks at me, gesturing, completely forgetting that we were in a lightning round, clearly settling into a long answer. “So, Y/N is from California, and I’m from the Midwest, and for college she went to– you went to Iowa– Iowa?”

“Iowa City? The University of Iowa?” I fill in, unsure where he’s going.

“Yeah, the University of Iowa. Which is, like, the rival school of ISU, where I almost went. So, if I had gone to ISU, we would have been in the same state, and Iowa City, where Y/N went to school, is sort of, like, the place to be if you want to party,” David explains.

“A lot of frats,” I add, heartwarmed, realizing what he’s saying.

“So, if I’d decided to go to college at ISU, we totally could have met,” he makes eye contact with me. “And she hates thinking about that. She hates that we could have met earlier and we didn’t.”

I look at Josh, who looks almost as heartwarmed as I do. “So you guys were totally fated. One way or the other, you were gonna end up together.”

“No, actually, I made sure we ended up together,” I joke. “I moved to LA so I could find him and make him fall in love with me.”

Josh laughs, but David raises his eyebrows. “That’s not too far off, babe.” I slap his arm.

Josh guffaws a little, still thinking about the story. “You know, that’s not actually what she said, but that’s really–”

“Wait, what?” David looks at me, bewildered. “That’s not what you said?”

“No,” I laugh, covering my face. “I don’t want to say it now.”

David grabs my shoulder in mock anger. “Tell me!”

I giggle more and more, hardly able to talk. “It was– that– you don’t–”

David gives me a look, realizing what I mean. “That I always wear a condom?”

I nod, dying laughing. Josh looks incredibly uncomfortable again.

“I hate you.” David stands up, pretending to walk out of the room. I fall off the couch.

Josh turns to me, still laughing on the floor, then to David as he sits back down. “Why does he wear a condom? Why do you wear a condom?”

“To be fucking safe!”

I wheeze, sitting back up next to Josh. “For the record,” I look into the camera. “I am not trying to get pregnant so I can steal all of David’s money.”

“Sure, babe,” David interrupts, rolling his eyes and then flashing a big smile as we all laugh.

When we finished filming, Paige comes out with a sleeping Max and, smiling, says that we should probably go, so he can sleep. Whispering, we agree, and tiptoe over to Max to kiss him lightly on the forehead. David almost gets too distracted, his hands wandering to Max’s little socked feet, but I curl my hands around his waist and jostle him gently.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he whispers. “Just can’t get over him.”

“I need some alone time with Uncle David,” I whisper into his neck, a bit lower, just for him. Paige stifles a laugh as David whips immediately to me, drawn.

That’s mostly it. We whisper goodbye to Josh, hug Jason in the street. He gets into his car, and we get into David’s. I turn to him as the Tesla turns on, his left hand on the wheel and the right on my thigh, as usual.

“It’s really sweet that you remember that.”

“What? The Iowa thing?”

“Yeah.” I wrap my hands around his, interlacing our fingers.

He squeezes my hand, but gives me a sort of of-course-I-remember look.

“Of course I remember,” he tells me, pushing some of his curls out of his face. “You’ve talked about it enough that it would be bad if I didn’t.”

“Do you wish that was how we’d met? In Iowa? I feel weird that I don’t know, even though we’ve already talked about it.”

David sucks his teeth, thinking about his answer as he looks down at the backup camera. “Is it bad if I say no?”

I guffaw playfully. “Yes!”

“No, no, wait,” he backpedals. “Think about it. I would’ve been back and forth all the time, since you can’t drive, and that would have gotten super annoying for both of us. And having classes. And we would have been totally different people. What if Old David and Old Y/N didn’t like each other?”

I shiver. “I think about that sometimes. How we might not have fallen in love if we’d met at any other time.”

He squeezes my hand again. “Don’t think about it, love.”

He starts to pull his hand away, beginning to back out of his parking space, but I catch it before he can bring it to the wheel. He looks up at me expectantly, so I lean over the console and kiss him. His hand comes off the wheel to hold my face to his, while I loop my fingers into his shirt collar to bring him closer.

When he pulls away, my head spins. I feel like a teenager. I blink hard, and he chuckles at me.

“You’re so amazing,” he says softly, his thumb on my cheek. “My perfect girl.”

I tighten my grip on his shirt and pull him into me again.

When he pulls into his driveway, the lights are already on inside, and we can plainly see Natalie moving around in the living room, even from inside the Tesla. My mind immediately deflates from the somewhat flirty car ride over, his hand having teased my thigh the whole way. David sighs, mirroring my thoughts.

“I don’t want to have to talk to Natalie,” he mumbles.

“Neither do I,” I admit, looking at him. “Sorry, Natalie.”

“Can I– can I just–” I wait for him to finish, but instead he unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over the console to kiss me again, his hand crunching a fistful of my hair as he holds my lips to his. He breathes heavily into it, and I smirk slightly. I love the effect I have on him.

So I toe off my shoes and gracefully climb into his lap. His breath is against my mouth, my hands holding myself up by his chest. His hands move down, and start to slip up into my shorts. My mouth is on his neck then, biting and sucking under his ear and jaw.

“Y/N, no. You know the rules,” he scolds me, pulling me back lightly by my hair. He doesn’t let me leave marks on him.

But instead, I ignore him, leaning forward to nip into his jugular again.

“Y/N–“ He wants to scold me again, I can tell, but he’s hardening and moaning beneath me, so I don’t stop.

After a moment, he brings his hand up to my throat and pushes me away until I’m against the steering wheel. I arch, reaching up to hold his hand in place.

“You’re not listening tonight.”

I whine in response, needy, grinding my hips against his. “Baby,” I beg.

“What is it?” his fingers tighten around my throat.

“Please,” I wheeze, my eyes fogging looking at his smirk.

“Please, what?”

I hum out a whine again, because I don’t know what I’m asking for. I let my tongue fall out of my open mouth, and then his fingers are off my throat and buried into my mouth.

“God, your fucking mouth, Y/N. Your mouth.” It’s his turn to moan now, as I run my tongue over his fingers.

“Do you want my mouth?” I whisper to him, leaning forward to press my lips against his ear.

“No,” he tells me bluntly. “Take off your fucking hoodie.”

I wiggle to sit facing away from him, and swivel my hips as I pull the hoodie over my head and leave my shorts in a pile next to the brake.

He grips my ass as I raise to straddle him again, but he’s pushing me forward, bending me over the wheel and pulling me apart with his thumbs.

“Fuck,” he praises, still holding my pussy open for him to admire, and then his fingers are deep inside me, curling and writhing.

“David!” I call back to him, feeling him screwing with my soft g-spot. I’m about to start fucking myself on his fingers when his mouth is wrapped around my clit.

I yelp in surprise. He sucks and licks as he fingers my g-spot and kneads my ass.

“David– David–” I moan out. He smiles against me, biting my clit lightly before he starts to suck and lick it in earnest, a pearl of flavor he’s been craving.

The pleasure shoots through me like daggers. It’s winding and twisting like roots, radiating from where David’s mouth moves hungrier and hungrier against me.

I’m about to cum when he stops. I whip around angrily, when I see him leaning his chair back as far as it will go.

He pulls on my thighs. “Bring it to me.”

I almost don’t know what he means, but then I realize that he can’t look at me, that his eyes are trained on my dripping pussy, his tongue out of his mouth.

I smirk and reach down to recline his seat the rest of the way.

My breath comes out in pants, in the passenger side now with my legs draped over him, completely naked. David’s cock is partially exposed, him panting too, his hoodie discarded in the backseat.

“That was incredible,” he wheezes.

I poke him with my toe. My skin in covered in a sheen of sweat. “One of our best.”

“We’re gonna end up telling our grandchildren about that.”

“Christ, that’s gross.”

David laughs, then turns his head to look at me. He has serious sex hair. “Hey. Come here.”

“I just ‘come here’-ed for about twenty-five minutes.”

He makes a kissy face, so I lean forward and let my lips touch his.

It’s incredibly chaste, even with my lack of clothes and David’s cock so close to me. They’re little pecks, loving and clean and innocent.

“David,” I say, leaning my forehead against his. “I love you.”

His hand comes up to my neck, holding me in place. “I love you more.”

[littledreamybeth]

Injuries, tears and 1 surprise

A/N: Hey folks! This is probably my last writing for a while since my exams are nearing and I have to concentrate on them! I’m not a professional, so I’m sorry if a few aspects of my content seems unrealistic to you :) Nevertheless, enjoy!

Y/N couldn’t remember the last time that she had driven to somewhere this fast as she was now. She  was clearly crossing the speed limit, she was aware of it, but she had a reason for this rush. It was a matter of life and death. Otherwise, she always stuck to the traffic rules, or rules in general. She was a good girl after all.

Tears continued to roll down her cheeks since the moment she had started the engine. Not even half an hour ago, she had received a certain call which she wished she had never received, making one of her biggest nightmares come true.

Her boyfriend’s mother had called, her voice unclear because she was crying so much.

She kept excusing herself for not having told Y/N that the love of her life was sent to hospital due to an accident sooner, because everything was quite hectic. Besides, her motherly instincts had advised Anne to keep Y/N from heartbreak until the worst was overcome. Anne gave no further details, only urging the young woman to hurry to the hospital as soon as possible.

Y/N practically threw herself out of her car after she had parked it in the hospital’s parking lot, and rushed to the entrance, ignoring the people with their flashing cameras and microphones, who started to mob her. She fought her way through them, but thankfully, she also got help from security guards, who tried to get rid of the crowd.

“H-Harry Styles,” Y/N croaked out of breath once she had arrived at the reception desk. It was a miracle that Y/N still stood on both of her legs, because she was almost at the verge of collapsing. She felt completely weak and drained off energy. The room around her was spinning and the walls seemed to be caging her in- it gave her a massive headache. Additionally, the constant worry about Harry drove her insane. The entire drive, she couldn’t think about anything but whether Harry was okay. No one really gave her any information about his condition- only that he was involved in a car crash this morning.

The friendly female staff behind the desk stared at her with sympathy. She knew exactly who this young woman in front of her was. She had seen her lovely face more than often on tabloids or magazines. Besides, the rumor that Harry Styles was hospitalized made its round quickly. Not only nurses were talking about it-no, the media also had heard about the news. It was hard to keep the reporters and paparazzi away from the building.

“Harry Styles!” Y/N repeated again with a trembling voice. Tears were brimming her eyes already and she could hardly maintain her emotions. “P-please, t-tell me w-where I can f-find h-him!”

The lady nodded her head, then turned to type something on the computer. The keyboard’s soft clicks gave Y/N a little moment of calmness. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest that the beats had reached her ear drums, too.

“He’s at the Intensive Care Unit,” the lady said.

Y/N’s blood froze in her entire body. “W-what?”

“I’m so sorry, darling.”

Y/N needed a moment to process everything. Harry was at the ICU, which means that his condition must have been very critical. Fear overtook her.  

“Can you tell me anything regarding his state?”

“He just left the operating room, love. He must be brought to his room by now.”

After the lady had given her the information she needed, Y/N thanked her and then sprinted all the way up to her destination without any stops. She would often bump into someone - especially at the stairs, since she refused to use the elevators because they were a waste of time; only apologizing with a quick ‘sorry’. The closer she got to Harry’s room, the more anxious she became. And then finally, she stood right in front of his door with heavy breaths leaving her lips. Her shaky fingers clasped the door handle tightly and with every inch that the door was opened, her heartbeat increased. Y/N swallowed hard, then entered the room.

What she saw in there ripped her apart.

Her eyes didn’t really recognize the presence of his family members and friends who were scattered around her boyfriend, because she had them trained on Harry only. At this moment, she saw no one but him. Everything else was faded out.

Her legs took control and moved her forward to the bed in which Harry was peacefully sleeping. The heartrate monitor, on which he was attached to, was the only noise that could be heard in the room and the only evidence showing that he was alive. It brought her a sense of comfort. If it wasn’t for that device, Y/N would have believed he was dead. He looked so pale and lifeless, as if no soul was resting in his body anymore. He looked nothing like her Harry, but still very beautiful.

“What happened?” Y/N managed to ask to the round after a long while, not tearing her gaze away from her boyfriend.

She felt someone’s hand on her shoulder, massaging her muscles gently in encouragement. It was Anne’s voice that spoke to her. It sounded as broken as she was feeling. “Drunk driver, what else?”

Y/N shut her eyes tightly, clenching her jaw. Anger cruised through her veins and she had the urge to scream and tear the first thing that she could grab apart. Because of a drunk asshole, Harry ended up here. Why in god’s name do drunk people always have to sit behind the wheel? Can’t they already assume the outcome of their stupid choice?

“What about the driver?”

“He died on spot.”

Y/N didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, whoever it was deserved to be in pain, however, losing their lives was a little bit too extreme, even for her liking.

She observed Harry. The majority of his head was covered with a white bandage, hiding his chocolate brown curls underneath. He had minor scratches on his cheeks and a plaster case around his left arm. There was also a bandage wrapped around his naked torso, which indicated that he had also gotten some broken ribs. The sight was unbearable. Harry- her strong Harry, who would do everything to keep her safe, was lying here, looking vulnerable and it seemed like he would break into a pile of pieces if you even dared to touch him. Y/N wanted to grab his hand, but was afraid to hurt him. He must’ve been enduring enough pain already, and she didn’t want to add any more.

“He just got out of surgery, y’know. The doctor said he was lucky,” Anne informed her. You could clearly hear exhaustion mixed with sorrow in her voice. “He had a severe head injury, but thank god, he got through it.”

Y/N couldn’t imagine how her life would’ve been like if he hadn’t made it. But fact is; she didn’t want to live in a world in which Harry did not exist. He must have had guardian angels who had protected him. Whatever force it was that kept Harry safe, Y/N was grateful for it.

Nick Grimshaw offered her a seat right next to her boyfriend.  She sat down and intertwined her fingers carefully with Harry’s, placing soft kisses on his knuckles. His unharmed hand felt warm around hers.

“I think we should give them some space,” Grimmy suggested, gesturing Harry’s manager and friend Jeff to leave. Jeff obeyed, and both disappeared out of the room.

Gemma approached Y/N, gave her a big, comforting hug, before she asked for her keys. “I know you will spend the entire night here, so I’m gonna get you some clothes and toiletries.”

Y/N reached out to her pocket, pulling her keys out and handing it over to the young brunette. Once Gemma had left, it was only her and Anne who remained.

“I’m glad he’s alive,” Anne whispered, loud enough for Y/N to hear. “I couldn’t bear to lose him.”

Being a mother of a worldwide superstar, she was always concerned about her son’s wellbeing. Especially when he was out of her reach. Then, she would have no control whatsoever over her son. He was her baby after all- of course, she worried. Harry was the only male remained in her life.

Anne didn’t stay long either, giving Y/N the opportunity to have some time with Harry alone.

Hours passed in which Y/N did nothing but to observe Harry’s chest, which lifted and fell with each intake of breath.  From time to time, a nurse would stop by to check on Harry’s vitals, advising her to take it easy on him when he woke up, and to not asking many questions.

Prayers of desperation would leave her rosy lips more than once, hoping that Harry would open his eyes very soon. She would have loved to lie down with him, cling to him tightly and just hold him. However, because of his broken bones, she could do nothing but holding his hand.

Her limbs began to sink sometime, sleep starting to consume her. But just as she was about to doze off, she felt a light movement under her hand. She instantly looked at her boyfriend.

Harry started to shift in his lying position, his face expressing nothing but pain. The anesthesia’s effect had begun to diminish slowly. Shallow breaths left his mouth, and he mumbled something unintelligible. His grip around her hand tightened. Y/N was about to call a nurse to inform her that Harry was slowly awakening, but she heard her name escaping his lips.

“Y/N…” he whispered weakly, his voice sounding like he hadn’t talked for ages. Rising from the chair, she took place on a free spot on the bed.

“I’m here…” she responded, feeling something wet running along her cheeks. “I’m right here…”

“Y/N…”

“I’m right here, my love. Don’t be afraid.” Y/N gently massaged the back of his hand to provide him comfort.

“Everything hurts…” he whined.

“I know… But it’ll be over soon, I promise.” She wished she could do something to take his pain away.

Harry slowly opened his eyes. Everything was blurry at first, but with every blink, his vision became a bit clearer, adjusting to his surroundings. He came back to his senses every passing minute.

“Let me get the nurse,” Y/N stated, then left the room. Very short after, she came back with another middle-aged, kind lady, who unplugged him from the heartrate monitor. She checked up on his injuries, gave him some painkillers, told them to inform her should there be any problems, and then left with a “Welcome back to the living, Mr. Styles.”

After she was gone, it was him and Y/N alone again.

“Hi,” he spoke, when his green irises met his love’s ones.

“Hey,” Y/N responded, “how are you feeling?”

He tried to sit up. Y/N rushed to his need, taking care that she didn’t hurt him.

“As if I was hit by a car,” Harry joked, but when he sensed Y/N’s tense and frozen state, and that she wasn’t laughing or smiling at all, he apologized instantly. “Sorry, love.”

A blunt remark hit his ears. “That joke was lame.”

“I know…”

“You scared me. You scared us all. I thought I had lost you.” Y/N nestled her cheek against the inner side of his palm. “No one told me how you were. I was so afraid.”

Harry wiped the wetness under her eyes away with his thumb. “I’m sorry, love. I never intended to scare any of you.”

She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. That drunk driver is the one to blame.”

“How are they, by the way? Anything regarding their condition?” the young man inquired. His question took her by surprise. Y/N contemplated if she should tell him right away, but he had all rights to know.

“We were told that they have passed away.” Unfortunately. If that person was still alive, they would have heard a big lecture from her. Harry’s features softened. Even though that person was the reason he was at this condition, he still felt bad for them. Drunk or not. No one deserved to die in an accident. Of course, this didn’t justify their actions. They sat behind the wheel, drunk, knowing the how likely it was to cause a car crash.

“I see.”

A short silence followed. Then, Harry pushed Y/N down to his direction.

“What are you doing? You’re injured.” Y/N called.

“Cuddle me.”

“I can’t you have broken ribs if you haven’t noticed already.”

“I don’t care. Cuddle me. I want cuddles now,” Harry pouted. “You’re my medicine, c’mon.”

Y/N laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. But she still obeyed to his wishes since she wanted nothing but to have him in her arms. Harry shifted away a little bit, making space for his love. Y/N cautiously laid down beside him, wrapping one arm around his lower half, making sure not to hit his injuries. Harry slung his healthy arm around her small form, snuggling against her.

“From now on, I’ll be accompanying you to everywhere,” Y/N said determined. “Somebody needs to keep an eye on you. Whether you want them to or not.”

Harry chuckled. “Is that so?”

“Yes…”

He kissed the crown of her head. Y/N wondered who was relying more on comfort, her or Harry?

“You won’t be getting rid of me so easily, love. Not gonna let that happen. You’re stuck with me forever.”

“I can’t risk losing you, anyway. I need you,” the young woman said. She looked intently at her lover, her eyes mirroring her emotions. Harry could tell that there was more behind them than she gave away. “We need you…”

“We?”

Y/N sat up and only led his hand onto her flat belly, where another life was going to rest and grow in the next couple of months. A large smile graced her lips.

As Harry caught on her hint, his eyes gleamed with joy. “Are you- are you really pregnant? Like, there is a little me in there?”

“There is, and that’s why I need you more than ever. When your mum called me and told me you were hospitalized, our baby was the first thing that crossed my mind. How would I raise them if you weren’t there anymore? I didn’t want them to grow up without a father, so I’m relieved from the bottom of my heart that you’re alive, and with me. Us, I mean.”

Harry gently ran his hand over her stomach.

“I’m not leaving anywhere, love. I won’t let you down, don’t worry.”

Pressing her lips delicately onto his, she kissed him gently.

“I love you,” they breathed in unison.

   taglist ❤ : @hes-writer

[gucciwins]

Hiking Fun

Y/N wants a dog and Harry talks too much

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I was up bright and early to go on a hike with my uncle, aunt and their lovely dog. I saw many people  and I always wondered how a hike with Harry would be. This is probably a lot of fluff and errors. I hope you enjoy.

You stopped cutting strawberries when you thought you heard a noise from the bedroom. When you heard nothing you continued on happy to know Harry was still sleeping a bit more.

As you placed the strawberries in a bowl you felt arms wrap around you. He leaned his head on his shoulder placing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Good morning, H.” You said squeezing one of the arms around you. You took a step to get out of his hold but he didn’t let you go. He seemed to squeeze just a bit harder showing signs of keeping you in place.

“You stay right here for just a bit more.” He states. “You left me in bed all alone. I was hoping for a morning cuddle.”

You can’t help but laugh at his statement. You lean your head back to get a better look at his face and the way he’s pursing his lips makes you weak in the knees. He always seems to make the prettiest expressions.

“I leave before you convince me to stay in bed all day.”

Harry laughs, “Darling, sex and cuddles are the cure to Sunday’s.”

“Not for me it isn’t, plus you promised we’d go on this hike.”

“I only did that so we could keep making out.” He says with a faint smile. “If anything I should be the one upset not you. You took advantage of me.”

“Oh please, you can’t say that when you were a willing participant.” You smirk as you finish your sentence.

Harry is left stunned because he had no response to you.

Harry finally lets you go so you can carry on with breakfast. You grab two spoons from the drawer next to the refrigerator and place it in his bowl. You push it towards him. You sit next to him and begin to eat quietly.

Harry breaks the silence.

“Why did we wake up at six a.m.?” He says after he passed the food he had in his mouth.

“This trail is in Orange, we live in L.A.” You stand from the table to place your dish in the sink. “Plus we have to beat the morning traffic. You get cranky if we sit in it too long.”

Harry stares at you not believing you just said that. He goes to deny it but you point a finger at him so he can stop himself. He takes his last bite and after placing the bowl in the sink he turns to you.

“Can I get my morning kiss?” He says softly pouting his lips.

You sigh but close the space between the both of you. You love feeling his soft lips against yours. You make to pull away but he brings a hand to hold your cheek. He deepens it and you bring your hands to rest on his chest. In two quick seconds you push him away.

He pinches his lip to hide the smirk that is growing on his face.

“I’ll meet you at my car in five minutes.” You rush out before he can grab you again to distract you.

**

“Harry pick a song!” You sigh this is the fifth time he has changed it. This is why he usually drives but since you knew where this was and he didn’t you volunteered to drive. Plus, he got a twinkle in his eye when he found out he would be able to control the music.

“I didn’t know it was this hard.” He mutters as he stops the song from playing.

“Harry, I will pull over, play a spanish playlist and put your phone in the trunk if you don’t decide in the next minute.” You need him to pick because you rather go with no music or the same type of music not something that makes you lose focus.

“We should just connect your phone.”

“It’s in the cupholder, go for it.” You switch into the next lane. Harry picks your playlist that has a yellow heart for its title.

‘Seven Bridges Road’ starts to play and you smile at Harry quickly before focusing back on the road.

“Was that so hard?”

“Honestly, yeah.”

**

Forty minutes later and two unnecessary pit stops you have made it to Peters Canyon. The park ranger directs you to park next to a black camry. You turn the car off and look around for a bit soaking in the view. You haven’t been on this trail in forever and when your brother mentioned it the other day you just had to come with Harry.

You get out of the car not waiting for Harry and hurry over to pay the three dollar parking fee. You come back and place the ticket on the window so that it can be seen.

“You should have let me paid, darling.” You shake your head at Harry letting him know it was okay. “I’m paying for breakfast.”

“Alright, sounds good to me.” You go to the drivers door to check if it’s locked once you confirm it is you skip over to Harry.

“Let us begin, lots of walking and dogs to see.”

“How long is the hike?” Harry asks as you carry a steady jogging pace.

“If we loop and follow the trail it’s six miles. We can also go up the last hill and turn around making it around four almost five.” You look down at your watch and begin the timer just see how long you’re out here. Just because you start out jogging doesn’t mean you’ll continue the entire time, you and Harry like to talk during these nice hikes as if you don’t already talk enough.

“A loop sounds good, get to really see the area.”

“That’s the spirit, H.” You giggle at your next thought. “Let’s make this trail our bitch.”

“You might want to save the attitude for later.” You shake your head a Harry because you know what’s approaching in a few minutes.

“This hill thinks otherwise.”

“One hill won’t kill us, we’ve done our fair share.”

“Harry there is like seven total and each only gets better.” He falters a few steps back when he hears you say that.

“You don’t want to turn back now and get breakfast.”

“Don’t be a weenie, we got this, plus matching sweaters always gives us extra energy.”

Harry and you both look down at your grey Treat People With Kindness hoodie and smile at one another. “Fine love, let us kick Peter’s ass.”

“That’s the spirit.” You say with a smile as you approach the first hill.

**

Three miles and five hills later you are walking at a good pace looking at the beautiful homes of Orange. It makes you smile because even years after high school it all looks the same.

“What’s the smile for?” Harry asks.

“Oh...ummm I was thinking back to when I would come practice here.” Harry nods to show he was listening. “I just find it nice that even after years of coming here and wildfires this place still manages to hold its beauty.”

“That’s sweet love, glad I got to come here with you. Always good making new memories together.”

You point to the top of a small hill. “That has a bit of shade, let us catch our breath and enjoy the view. It’s all downhill after this.”

Harry links your pinkies together and begins to lead the way. It is crazy that with a smile touch he has you blushing like a young school girl. If he asks you’ll blame in on the sun that is beginning to come out from behind the clouds.

You sit on the bench and Harry rests your linked hands on his thigh. It’s comforting not only for himself but you as well. As you sit a young looking husky comes over and sits by your feet. You don’t notice until you feel weight resting on your left foot.

“Oh my, aren’t you just a precious doggy!” You exclaim causing the dog’s tail to wag from left to right.

“You must be a pretty good cuddler, aren’t you lucky. Hope you get lots of love at home.” You tell the dog in a sweet voice that makes Harry smile so wide his cheeks begin to hurt.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t notice my girlfriend let the leash go.” A girl around your age approaches you.

You give her a warm smile letting her know it was okay. “You have such a good dog, it was no bother.”

Harry decides to make a comment. “A minute longer and they might have started cuddling.” You all laugh at Harry’s funny comment.

“Well thanks again also, I love your sweaters what a sick message to spread.”

“Thank you, it was my idea.” You tell her as she leaves.

Harry slaps you lightly on the shoulder. You turn to him and he has a face of disbelief. “Stop with that look, you know it was my idea. Let us call Jeff on his day off bright and early to settle this.” Harry mutters a few words you don’t manage to catch. He looks over at you and smiles.

“Let’s keep going then love.”

As you continue walking and stepping over a beetle you share your thoughts with Harry.

“I want a dog, one that can go on runs with me and hikes.” You say in a trance imagining it happen.

“That’s why you have me.” Harry tells you.

You burst out laughing and he can’t help but join in as well.

“I’m serious, he’d have your last name but I get to name him or her we don’t know yet.”

“Darling, get the idea out of your head. We don’t got time for a dog.”

“WE!” you exclaim, “you don’t but I do.”

“You’re working towards that promotion.” He reminds you.

“Screw the promotion if it means I get my dog.” Harry looks at you with a look that means to stop talking shit.

“Okay, yeah the promotion is important but I’m responsible. I kept our plants alive.”

Harry knows this argument will continue in circles if he doesn’t end it now.

“Our home isn’t ready for a dog. We don’t got much space for the poor pup.”

You nod but look deep in thought. You agree with Harry and drop the topic but Harry knows you. He knows you’ve thought of something.

“Tell me” You look at him confused. He continues to look at you till you answer him.

You release a long sigh. “I’m moving out. You stay at your home and I’ll get a pet friendly apartment.” You shrug your shoulders because it’s that easy.

He looks at you as if you’re insane. “You’re breaking up with me over a dog.”

“Don’t be daft Harry. I’m just moving out until you come to love my dog.”

Harry loses, he somehow always loses. “Give us some time to get ready for it. He’s got to be trained before he moves in.”

“Oh H, you really are the best.” You give him a quick peck on the lips.

“We’ve got two miles to go. I’ve got new found energy.”

**

Sunflowers, that is all you see around you. It makes you smile because the yellow just seems to be popping off the flower. You wish you could snatch them all up and take them home. It seems Harry feels the same.

He yells your name so you look over at him a few steps behind you. “This one has a bee in it.”

You giggle at your over excited boyfriend. “H, we’ve got lots more still. Take pictures later.”

Harry doesn’t complain and simply grabs your hand and pulls you along faster. You worry if you go any faster he’ll take a tumble to the sharp rocks.

“Sunflowers remind me of my mom.” You tell him.

“Why is that?”

“Well she went through a shit ton of stuff through her life but she always kept a radiant smile. Reminds me that tough times will come but we can always come out on top.” You tell him as you stop to tough a sunflower that was calling for your attention.

“I love your mom, I’m sad she moved to Oregon.” You can’t help but agree with Harry. Having your parents be away wasn’t easy but you enjoyed each visit you got to have together.

“You might want to take your final pictures because I can see the car.”

“No this is better. I want to remember it like this.”

“You’re a walking cliche.”

“You’re a twat, I hope you eat a bug.”

**

“Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course, darling. I had a great time.”

“Yeah” you take a drink of your water. “Kind of glad we didn’t see the snakes usually out this time of year.”

“Lucky us.” Harry pauses from sending his mom a picture of the sunflowers. “Did you say snakes?”

“My brother told me he saw one a while ago. Thought it might cross out path.”

Harry relaxes. “Aren’t we lucky.”

“When did your brother come.” He asks just to assure himself he’s fine.

“Thursday.”

“Two weeks ago Thursday”

“Thursday as the one that just passed.” You tell Harry with a small smile. He looked anything but happy.

“Pay your own breakfast” He says out of disbelief.

“Find yourself a ride home.” You run away from him zigzagging through cars to lose him.

Just as your were about to unlock the car he traps you in. He leans in close to whisper in your ear. “Let me make it up to you.”

You smirk knowing you have the upper hand. You tilt your head to the side to give him more access to your neck. He places a few kisses and you let out a soft moan. That is enough to get him hard and pressed against you.

Just as quickly you elbow him lightly in the stomach and get in the car.

“Get in loser we’re getting breakfast and you’re paying.”

Hope you enjoyed reading this. Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated