#jaynemias armin fics

[jaynemia]

"Confession On Marley"

Armin Arlert x gen-neutral!reader

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❥┆Tooth aching fluff, slight angst

❥┆WC: 2039

❥┆Notes: Openings and closing aren't my strong suit LET ME COOK also sorry for grammar mistakes 🤕

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You and your best friend, Armin, had just finished getting off the ship that led you and the rest of the Eldia Scout Regiment to Marley. Amidst all the chaos and tragedy that had surrounded you, you found peace in the cheery air and bright sky.

“Welcome to the continent of Marley!" Onyankopon exclaimed. "I’ll guide you to the Azumabito estate.”

As the others, meaning Hange, Connie, and Sasha, seemingly grow infatuated by what Hange calls a "car,” you stand next to Armin, absolutely bewildered.

“Huh,” you chuckle, “so much for ‘don’t stand out.’ Do you think they’ll be alright, ya’know, being like that out here?”

Armin nods and quickly shakes his head. “No, yeah, I’m sure they’ll be fine. Come on, I wanna learn more about this place!”

“What’s there to learn about?” You ask curiously while trailing after him as he walks off. When you catch up to him, you can’t help but smile at his eager expression. He’s not that different from the rest of the group after all. It was nice to see a change in demeanor. Ever since this war started, Armin’s changed. He had no time to act shy, insecure, and hopeless. He was more on edge than he ever was in his entire life. When you two met as young children, you always had to protect him from threats like bullies. But now? Now bullies are just silly, and you found yourself being protected by him more than the other way around. It left a bittersweet wound in your heart.

“Well,” you hear his voice again, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. “Uh, you know. I think this will be a great learning experience..” He explains, but quickly trails off while trying to get closer to a food stand without you noticing.

You can’t help but chuckle at the sight and take a satchel of money from your pocket. “What’s this? Never seen it before. Looks good.” You chime.

“Oh! Uh, no, no.. I’m just looking!” The blonde squeaked and scratched the side of his cheek. He was always like that: wanting you to never do anything for him if it meant you spending something of value, whether that was money or even your time.

“Well, these actually looked good so.. why don’t we share?” You said while softly elbowing him. His grateful expression was evident by his grin as you held a tan cone with white cream up to his face. Armin hesitantly bit a small chunk and his eyes went wide.

“Woah..! It’s cold! And sweet?” He mumbles with a mouthful of what the vendor called ice cream. “Try it!”

You lean forward and lick the ice cream, immediately feeling a wave of satisfaction overcome you. “Mm,” you hum, “I’ve never eaten anything like this before. Are we even doing it right?”

“I’m sure it can’t be that hard to eat this thing.” He smiles. You can’t help but smile back since you provided him with something he wanted. It made you feel good.

However, thoughts of the future flashed before you. Will this ever last? Being happy with him? What if he gets mixed into something terrible? What if you weren’t there to stop it?

You bit your inner cheek and cursed yourself for thinking about these thoughts again. You knew that normal friends don’t think about their futures with their best friends so dearly like that. It took you a while to realize your infatuation with Armin was actually just a crush, but you also figured that the best course of action was to let it be a crush and a crush only. You knew you couldn’t pursue it. There’s no time for romance in the middle of a war. It’s not like it didn’t hurt, though.

“No, not the time. Just be happy.” You thought while trying to push your mind into a positive headspace. God, you fell hard.

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Soon after, you found yourself roaming around with your best friend by your side, letting him lead you to different places and trying different foods. It was like a festival that you and Armin could never get bored of. You had even convinced this random stranger to drive you and Armin around a lap in his car. Food, entertainment, friends, and each other. But how could you have fun knowing you’d have to leave this moment of solidarity? Your head couldn’t stop aching with bitter thoughts. You prayed you’d get to experience this again. You prayed it wouldn’t be just a memory.

“Hey,” you heard a soft voice call out, followed by the feeling of a hand on your shoulder. “You’re spacing out. Do you wanna stop walking? We can find somewhere to take a nap.” It was getting dark after all.

You blink a couple times and shake your head. As you look forward, your eyes glisten against the lights below you. The sun began to set and the buildings seemingly awoke in different lights and lanterns.

Armin had previously led you two up to a balcony by the help of a shop owner. As you begin to reminisce about that entire interaction, you also remember him talking to the owner, glancing at you every now and then and seeing the other man chuckle and nod at your best friend's words. Maybe he was lying just to get a good spot to hang out on? Unfortunately, he had to push you aside and talk to the owner privately in order to persuade him. "Weird," you thought, but didn’t care to dwell on it.

“I’m not that tired,” you say as you shrug off your indifference, “this is a nice view, man. Thank you for bringing me here. I needed a break.” You breathe in the cool air and sigh, feeling content with where your feet stand and the person you’re with at the very moment. It was nice.

Your brief moment of fulfillment quickly comes to a halt when you notice Armin fiddling with his fingers in the corner of your eye. His anxiety was something you took note of, but he usually relaxed around you. He wasn’t like this before, either.

“Are you okay? Maybe you need rest,” you suddenly speak in between a chuckle, making him jolt slightly at your inquiry. This made you tilt your head in confusion. You shift closer and whisper. “Hey, seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Ah- um..” The way he fumbled over his words made your heart melt. “Tell- I need to tell..”

“Armin, take your time-”

“No!”

Without another word, he grasped your hands and held them in his own. Your eyes widened after he cut you off so soon, but to your disappointment, you couldn’t read his expression at all since he was hanging his head low.

“Armi-”

“I-I.. I can’t.” He raises his head and looks at you with glossy eyes. “I can’t continue to live a good life knowing m-my life is- will be cut short.”

Armin's words are sharp, yet his tone is evidently not as confident as he’d like. His voice wavers as he continues to speak.

“And.. I, uh- even if we get over this, and we get to live, I mean- all of us get to live, what’s the point?!”

Your eyes begin to prickle with tears as he raises his voice and looks back down.

“I have to die after a few more years. M-My titan curse will not only be the cause of my death, but also an excuse. An excuse that- an excuse that will pull me away from you! Because I’m a coward!” He desperately explains, but to no avail, you have no idea what he’s talking about.

“I-I don’t follow,” you choke up.

He fully faces you with a soft tint of pink tainting his cheeks. The sight made your stomach churn out of guilt because you suddenly felt a glimmer of hope.

“I’d be a coward because there wouldn't be enough time to tell you how I feel. So that’s why I need to do it! A-And I need to repay you! For all the things you’ve given me my whole life. Not only for making my heart feel happy every time you walk by, b-but for giving me a spine!”

Armin grabs your forearms and grips your skin, keeping you close. “You make me feel confident, you make me feel so.. so strong, and it’s destroying me because all I do is burden you. I-I don’t want my- my death to be a burden too..”

He begins to sniffle and allow tears to run down his cheeks. You blink the tears welling up in your eyes down as well when you notice his last sentence growing quieter and quieter. All you could do is stare in silence.

“And, before I do that..!” He cries out while his voice cracks, “I want to live with you! A-At least.. no- I wanna be yours. Yours forever, until we both die!”

Armin completely breaks down, hiccuping in between sobs as he pulls away, seemingly to prevent himself from burdening you further. You both knew how impossible it would be to stay with each other until a natural death, but.. even so-

Without another thought, you instinctively pulled him in and held him so close in your arms.

“I love you..!” You gasped. “All this time I’ve been trying to erase these thoughts I’ve had for you. For years, I thought I could find peace and stay satisfied with being the guest in your wedding, a-and I..” Your throat closed up and you shook your head. You refused to think about the potential future you had to face.

You break away from the hug and cup his wet cheeks with your hands. His beautiful blue eyes that glistened under his tears made your head ache. When his expression softened, he looked down at your mouth, and you looked down at his, glancing between his lips and his gaze.

“And I can’t. Heaven knows I can’t.” You whisper in between a pathetic chuckle. “So-”

Armin lets out a soft whimper after you press a long, long kiss against his lips. The softness of his skin and the warmth of his cheeks got you so flustered and satisfied at the same time. While you brush your thumbs against his face, he wraps one arm around your back and the other clutching your hair. The two of you refused to let go as if Ymir’s curse would hit him in just a couple seconds.

It was only after you needed to breathe that you pulled away, and you were met with the heartbreaking, yet endearing sight of Armin’s needy eyes.

“Okay..” He whispers so gently, as if everyone in the world could hear you two. “O-Okay..”

You press another quick kiss and let the sound of Armin’s whine echo in your ears.

"Mmnh..!"

“I’m not giving up, I promise you.” You say with a more confident tone as you grip his hands.

He sniffles again and quickly nods his head. “I won’t either! I promise. I’m happy, I’m so, so happy.”

This time, Armin wraps his arms around your neck and kisses you. You found it so adorable how he seemingly just gained the courage to. Feeling so proud and so content, you place your hands on his waist and let his hips rub against yours, finding this special moment to be both intimate and sweet. He lets out a shaky moan upon feeling your tongue against his, and you both just hold each other. Until the end of time.

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Upon going back to the boat to return home, you decide to walk around, looking for your new boyfriend with a wide smile on your face. Without warning, Jean walks past you and bumps into your shoulder.

"Sorry.” He says.

Before you could even apologize as well after looking back to face him, you suddenly feel startled at his own face. He looked so.. dejected.

“What the hell? What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

“You’re lucky..” he said in a tone that sounded like his soul left his body. "Must be nice to get the one you want, huh?”

Your eye twitched for a moment. “Hey, man.. uh, it’s gonna be okay.”

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[jaynemia]

"Your Dream"

Armin Arlert x gen-neutral!reader

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❥┆Angst + fluff I think idk honestly

❥┆WC: 3228

❥┆Notes: This is kinda modern AU and also inspired by "Curtain Call" by Hitomi (An eruri fan thingy ahaha..anyway) Apologies for mistakes and such ++ Slight spoilers

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“And that’s my dream!” Armin beams as he closes his precious book about the outside world.

“To see the ocean?”

He excitedly nods his head, “me, Eren, and Mikasa are gonna do it. And, well- I thought that.. maybe you’d wanna join too?

You scoff at his invitation and wave your hand dismissively. “That’s impossible in these walls. Plus, it’s a boring idea. The only time we’d be able to see the ocean is if we're about to die as soldiers.”

The blonde boy sighs and looks down, clearly hurt by your indifference. “Oh. I dunno.. I just want you there with me when I do. I won’t give up.”

Regrettably, he didn’t give up. You wish he had.

Your eyes soften upon seeing the sadness in his expression. “I mean, who knows? Maybe we can.”

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“Armin-!”

You come crashing down from a sudden gust of steam during a deadly battle with the Colossal Titan. Just before you could figure out where you landed, your eyes shot open from an aching pain. You wince, look down, and get overcome with a wave of despair when you see a large metal rod piercing your flesh. You try to move, but you’re bound to the rubble that sits under you.

“Hel-”

Your pleas are left unheard as the only sound you can produce are coughs of blood and labored breaths. The impact of your fall caused severe damage to your ribs and lungs, leading to internal bleeding. It hurt to even think, but thinking was all you could do.

“Armin was with me when I crashed, did he fall too? He’s here somewhere..!”

Regardless of the blood staining your clothes and running down your mouth, you had more important priorities.

“I need to find him. He’s here, he’s not dead. I’ll save him.”

But you couldn’t.

The only thing you could do was lay there helplessly and feel your life draining away. The sky blurred, then cleared when you forced yourself to wake up, and then blurred again. An endless cycle of pain tormented you for what seemed like hours. No one was around to save you.

As the sun begins to hide behind the buildings in front of you, you hear a muffled, yet familiar voice. You could barely make it out, but you assumed a conversation was being held near you. There was a shriek of anguish from a woman that echoed through your ears, followed by another woman talking.

“Mikasa-! You — to know ———!”

“Mikasa? Mikasa was near?” You thought, but whoever was near, their words were fading in and out of your ears.

“— Armin could do that, too..!”

Your eyes weakly flutter open and you begin to cry even more than you already had. Armin was alive? You smiled weakly and got overcome with hope that maybe his injuries weren’t as bad as yours. Maybe he wasn’t injured at all!

“But — doesn’t have Erwin’s experience ————”

Erwin?

Your hopes begin to diminish when you hear Mikasa plead with them to save Armin. It sounded like they were either going to choose to save the Commander, Erwin, or your best friend. Why not both? What the hell was happening?

No matter how much anyone pleads, whether that was Mikasa, Eren, or even you, everyone knows saving Erwin would be the best choice. Armin had no chance. Your tears continue to fall and mix with the blood on your body. There was no time to grieve, so you forced yourself into acceptance. You were at least glad that you were to die the same day he would have.

“I’m sorry I was so mean,” you thought hopelessly, “I’m sorry I was so angry all the time. I’ll be nicer, I promise. Let’s go see the ocean. I’ve loved you forever, that’s why I never forgot about your dream.”

But you can’t talk, so he never heard.

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BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-

Your hand flies to your phone as you sluggishly press the “stop” button and begin to get ready for work. Unfortunately for you, your chosen line of work was not as interesting as you would have hoped as a child. When you settled for being a librarian at a public library, you quickly got comfortable with the satisfying pay, but wished for something a little more engaging. You’re grateful for the well-paying job, nevertheless.

After cooking up some breakfast, you head over to the library. The air was nice when you walked out; the yellow color of the sun seemed to comfort you more than anything else.

Luckily for you, the library was only a walking distance away and you quickly got to work tidying things up and making sure all the computers were ready for use. Without delay, you flip over the “we’re open” sign in front of the door and wait for people to come by.

One by one, people of all ages visit and find solidarity in the peaceful place. Although some annoying people regularly visit now and then, the job was pretty nice. Still, you find yourself wishing that you could at least switch occupations just for one day at least. Most of your friends had much more exhilarating jobs, such as a bartender, a firefighter, a policeman, an anesthesiologist, and a vet.

“Me? As a policeman?”

You begin to daydream of all the exciting missions you’d be assigned to if you had these kinds of careers. For a firefighter, you’d have to save people. As a police officer, you could hunt bad people down. As you continue to think, another idea slips into your mind, “what about a soldier?” Weirdly, you shiver a little and shake your head. “Who’d willingly wanna be a soldier?”

“Uhm- excuse me..” You hear a timid voice call out; it was so quiet but loud enough to snap you back into reality.

“Oh! Sorry, did you need somethin-”

Your eyebrows raise a bit at the sight of the young man in front of you. He was a pale, nice-looking blonde boy who looked not too far from your age. On top of that, his face looked extremely horrified. It confused you, to say the least. As he hands you his library card, you notice his hand shaking.

“Sir? Are you okay?” You suddenly ask, making him jolt slightly and almost drop the books in his hand. Soon after, his horrified expression slowly dropped into a slightly sad one.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

You nod in understanding, giving him a friendly smile as you scan his card. “Armin Arlert,” it said. What a pretty name.

As you look back up and hand him his card, he stares into your eyes as if he was expecting his card to be denied like he was paying for groceries. There was a strange glimmer of a random hope behind his gaze, but when you simply handed it back, he quickly looked down and shoved it back in his wallet.

“I’ve never seen you before. Is this your first time visiting?” You ask, trying to make small talk with the nervous man.

He sighs, “yeah, this is my first time. I needed some new copies of this history book since the school I worked at ran out.”

You raise an eyebrow, “you’re a teacher?”

Armin, you assumed his name was, nodded and returned a smile. “Yes! Uh, Shiganshina High School. Have you heard of it?”

You conveniently have been quite familiar with it as it’s fairly close to your house. “Yeah, it’s not that far from where I live. That’s cool, you being a teacher and all, Mr. Arlert.”

“Ahahaha! Ahaah- ah..” He seemingly switches back to his anxious state and laughs a bit loudly. “Please, just call me Armin.”

After nodding slowly, you respond with a softer tone. “Alright, Armin.”

Armin closes his eyes and sighs once more. “Okay, well, I-I should head back. Sorry for taking up your time.”

“Oh no, that’s alright. You didn’t at all.” You respond, trying to reassure him as best you can. After he looks at you one last time, you watch him walk out the door as a weird sense of loneliness overtakes you. What an interesting guy.

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Day after day, your usual routine quickly got interrupted by the same stranger you met that very day. Armin came in at the same time and constantly checked out and returned books not even a day after borrowing them. He claimed they were for students since their school’s library was being “renovated,” but its renovation had been ongoing for two months now.

“Morning,” he greets you while walking in with one book and hands it to you as usual. His nervousness seemed to fade slowly day by day, hinted by his more confident, albeit still quiet tone.

“G’morning to you.” You smile and take his book. When you look down, you smile again at his choice of reading. It was a large book about geography, not just maps, but the history that lies within the lats and longs of the pages.

“Do you, I mean, do the kids really like this stuff?”

Upon hearing your first words, he clears his throat and nods. “Well, yes, they’re very interested in.. human geography.”

“I’m sure,” you say in between a snicker.

Armin chuckles softly as he grabs a random book off your counter, that being just a magazine, and hands it to you. When you take the magazine, he fiddles with his fingers and looks down. Naturally, you could easily notice that he wanted to ask something, or at the very least, talk. So you talk first.

“Something on your mind? I can read you like a book now. Pun intended.”

He immediately shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck. “No, well.. yes.”

After letting a shaky sigh slip through his lips, he begins, “I was wondering if- ah- you’d wanna.. go to my house for some coffee?”

Your brows raise at his sudden invitation. He was pretty cute after all, but you’ve only known this guy for two months.

Hesitantly, you give him a soft smile and decline. “Sorry, I’d like to, but I don’t go to anyone's house on first dates. You understand, right?”

Armin’s face flushes a bit and he waves his hands defensively. “D-Date? No, I mean- yes, I understand.”

You shrug, “maybe a coffee shop?”

His face falls into a more disappointed one. “I need somewhere that’s secluded. Well, I’m not gonna do anything,” he chuckles nervously, “look, I just need to talk to you. It’s been on my mind since the day we met.”

Suddenly, your interest peaks. There was something about this man’s urgency that made you trust him. Maybe you were crazy.

Soon, you think of another suggestion. “How about the school you work at? There are probably some empty classrooms there, right? Or maybe we can use yours when the kids are on break?”

Armin’s face lights up and he nods excitedly. “Yes! That’s perfect! Today, then?”

“Today?”

You think for a moment, then decide to just call and ask one of your coworkers to take your shift. His enthusiasm was rubbing off on you.

“Fine, let’s go.”

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As you step out of his car and into the building, you look around and laugh a little at the commotion of the high school students.

“Shiganshina, Shiganshina, where have I heard that before?” You mutter while walking beside Armin who’s leading you to his classroom. He noticeably clenches his fist upon hearing your words and opens a door. As you enter, you stare in awe at how cozy it looks. The interior is full of soft string lights and funny posters with motivational text on them. Definitely fits his aesthetic.

“So, uh..” He pulls a chair beside his desk and motions you over. You take a seat and watch him sit in his chair, incredibly nervous as he looks down. “I don’t know how to word this, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you say soothingly, “take your time.”

“Basically… I used to know you. Like, in another universe, I think?”

You tilt your head, completely confused. The air around you seemed to grow dense. “What..?”

“I’m not crazy, please let me explain.”

Armin begins to explain to you in detail what this previous life was like. He recites every small memory he held on to that you both shared like when you protected him from bullies and shared your food with him. He also told you the bad memories he had, like watching all his friends die in battle, and how you both were soldiers who served and protected the people from “titans.” He listed a bunch of names, claiming them to be your friends too, like “Mikasa, Eren, Sasha, Connie,” none of whom you’ve ever heard of. By the end of his rant, he seemed to be tearing up after hesitating for a bit.

“And then.. we fought the Colossal Titan. I don’t remember how it happened, but you..” He suddenly leans forward a bit and holds his mouth like he was about to throw up.

“Jesus!” You hold his shoulders tight as you begin to rub them in hopes of calming him down. “It’s alright…”

Armin’s soft sniffles echo through your ears and you furrow your eyebrows. “And then..!” He cries out, “we found you..! Dead on the ground, impaled, and dirtied with your own blood!”

You felt yourself getting colder as he told you this “memory;” this sight he had to bear witness to. When you look down at your palms, you imagine what they would look like with blood soaked in each crevice of your skin. You cringe.

Even though you were skeptical this whole time, that feeling slowly began to fade as he shared with you one of the most traumatic experiences he’s had. It felt like you’ve dreamt about it before, or like it was deja vu.

“How..” you speak up as quietly as possible, “how do you know that it was me? What if I just look like the person you’ve- uh, met before?”

Armin looks up at you with tears staining his eyes. He speaks in between sobs and grabs your shoulders. “I can’t forget your face! How could I? After that, I died a natural death, waiting every second for you, even though you died so many years before me. For so many years I wished it were me. That’s something I could never forget.”

You slowly shake your head. “I don’t understand..”

He shakes you a bit and the desperation in his tone makes your blood run cold.

“You feel it too, don’t you?! I’ve seen your face when I mention these things! I know you’ve seen me before! You’ve heard of Shiganshina before, right?! That’s where I was born! That’s where you were born, too!”

Your face softens and you hug him while he continues to choke on his tears. “It’s okay now, shh. I remember.”

He seemed to have calmed down by your comfort, but your words were just a lie. You tried and tried to think, but guilt overwhelmed you when you simply couldn’t recall anything he was talking about. However, he just seemed too emotional to be lying and too adamant about this to be insane.

You pull away and give him a bittersweet smile. “Crazy ‘first date’ huh? A classroom wasn’t really somewhere I’ve dreamed of going to, but it’s alright.”

Armin giggles at your lighthearted joke and nods while wiping his tears. “I-I don’t think it’s that bad, but yeah, I’d have picked something different.”

“Oh? Where would you go for a first date then?”

He grins eagerly and sits up. “The beach!”

You raise an eyebrow at his words and scoff. “The beach? What a boring idea.”

Boring?

A sudden cold chill ran down your spine as you slowly started feeling your head ache. “That was mean, why’d I say that?” You thought.

When you look up, you're met with Armin’s hopeful eyes. “Yeah, you said that before, too. Something like it anyway.”

After nodding your head and rubbing your temples, you begin to think rapidly. “The beach, the beach,” you thought over and over again. It never posed any significance to you, but something weird overcame you as you subconsciously rubbed your side.

“You know what,” you say as you click your tongue, “I need to get home anyway, ya’know, to run some errands.”

Armin checks his watch and gets up to lead you to the door. “Ah, my class is starting in a few minutes anyway, good timing!”

After you wave goodbye, he pulls you into an unexpected embrace. You feel your cheeks heat up as you pat his back and return the hug. “Goodbye, Armin.”

“Goodbye.”

As you walk out and head home for the day, you force yourself to shake off that strange feeling welling up in your body and mind. There was no use in dwelling on it and trying to make sense of this entire situation. Plus, Armin’s recollections just sounded so bizarre. At the end of the day, he was most likely just a crazy man who lost someone who looked like you and didn’t know how to grieve. That’s probably it.

When you finally find yourself comfortable enough to sleep, you let your mind drift as your limbs slowly relax.

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“Why are you always so mean?”

You look up and see your best friend pouting in the seat in front of you while you both eat inside the dining quarters. As you take another bite of the small loaf of bread in your hand, you wave dismissively at him.

“I’m not, Armin. I’m just honest.” You shrug.

Armin sighs and shakes his head, “Eren says he wants to go, too. Why can’t you be nice like him?”

You put a hand over your chest, feigning offense. “Me? Not nice? Come on, all I said was that silly dream of yours was boring. And Eren can suck it.”

He grumbles and looks down, playing with the soup in his bowl. “You’re never gonna change that opinion, huh?”

After pondering for a moment and jokingly putting your finger to your chin, you answer bluntly. “Nope!”

Armin glances up at you and his lip quivers slightly. Soon after a few seconds of awkward silence, he speaks up again; this time in a much more quiet tone.

“I know.”

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There was a sudden sensation that you couldn't seem to grasp or explain. All you could see was a white flash, and when you opened your eyes, you were met with your dark room in the middle of the night. You gasp after realizing you hadn’t been breathing the entire time following your abrupt awakening, and you just clasp your shirt.

A dream? What kind of dream was that?

Thoughts and possible solutions spread through your mind like wildfire. The soup, the bread, the table, your clothes.. what did it mean? Where did you get all these seemingly specific thoughts? You thought long and hard, trying to figure out what kind of TV show or video you watched to dream about something like this, but to no avail, nothing came close to whatever it was you dreamt about.

When you begin to remember the face of the boy you saw in that dream, you slowly hold your hand up to your mouth.

“Oh, shit.”

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❥┆End notes: hey so funny thing this is actually NOT finished and idk if im gonna finish it 😎😎