#jaylina ‚ ic.
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@un1awful asked : “ i’m not a good person. “ ( for Jay )
𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙭 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙚.
A SNORT comes from the surgeon in driver's seat of black HONDA civic , eyes still concentrated on the ROAD , watching guard rails of TRAIN TRACKS lower themselves slowly , blinking red LIGHTS and distant train horns to come closer and closer . out of all the people to ask the question , WHY HER ? why her ? eyes linger on the BLINKING red traffic lights that reflect on her hand in the DARKNESS of the night , but crimson doesn't seem to leave , even after it winks out . even then . SLENDER fingers drum on steering wheel , before she turns down the RADIO in the small car . CLASSICAL music seems to warp , and go quiet , only a small hum after her adjustment , if only to be OVERTAKEN by sounds of freight train running past the two of them .
( who cares about good , and bad ? such an arbitrary BLACK AND WHITE way of thinking you found yourself drinking down months ago . not everything is so easily one or the other . what a STUPID way to think ; to mull on what makes you a GOOD or bad person . or maybe , it's because you've come to terms with it more easily this WAY : that the culmination of every sinful slice and SINGED piece of flesh at your HAND , that maybe , maybe , there's some SALVATION for you .
there's nothing left for you . no salvation . nothing . one day you'll realize that . FULLY . )
❛ who cares ? ❜ she asks , breaking gentle , rolling music with CRASS voice , not a hint of irritation or malice , but one that seems of ACCEPTANCE , like one who stares down the BARREL of the gun with no fear . watches as FREIGHT TRAIN chugs along on the tracks , doesn't look at him , seeming lost in her THOUGHT . ❛ there's no such thing as a GOOD person . just people , who do bad things , and people who do good things . ❜
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Jason Todd’s Online Dating Profile
Name: jason peter todd
Age: 21
Gender: male
Status: single
Hair: black
Eyes: blue
Height: 6′2
Weight: 225 lbs.
Nicknames?: jay, jaybird, jayman, jaylina, toddster
Favourite Colour?: red,i guess
Favourite Smell?: gunsmoke, leather, and cheap cologne
Favourite Food?: cheeseburgers
Favourite Drink?: vodka
Do You Smoke?: sometimes, only when im stressed.
Do You Like Animals?: ..do...do people not like animals? of course i like animals.
Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?: no, not really.
Do You Watch TV? whenever i get time off work, i do.
Have You Ever Been Arrested?: ...yes, but it was not my fault, i didn’t know public nudity was illegal.
Have You Ever Had Sex?: seriously?
Hair Colour Preference?: never really mattered to me
Tall or Short S/O?: both work for me
What’s Your Zodiac Sign?: Leo
Favourite Dessert?: ice cream, especially rocky road
Favourite Disney Movie?: the aristocats
Favourite Movie?: the godfather....is that too cliche?
Favourite TV Show?: breaking bad, without a doubt.
Favourite Candy?: twix or snickers
Favourite Band?: probably black sabbath
Guilty Pleasure Song?: ughhh, milkshake by kellis
Favourite TV Character?: chandler from friends
Favourite City?: definitely not gotham lol
Favourite Insult?: dipshit
Favourite Dog Breed?: all dogs are good dogs
What Traits Do You Look For In A Person?:
i want someone who’s kind and caring, honestly. humour is great, too. but those traits are really the only must-haves.
Do You Have Any Siblings?:
4 brothers and 2 sisters. dick (yes his name is really dick haha), tim, damian, duke, steph, and cass.
Where Do You See Yourself In 10 Years?:
hopefully, in a happy relationship in a nice house with 10 dogs and 8 cats :)
masterlist
#Jason Todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#DC comics#dc comics imagine#dc imagine#superhero#batman#red hood x reader#redhood#red hood#red hood imagine#imagine
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@daemonry asked : [ FIVE DEATHS ] -jaylina or katarina teehee , send for five times our muses almost died together sender almost dies and the one time the sender does.
𝗙𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗦 𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗕𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗦. 𝗮���𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁��𝗻𝗴. 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆.
ONE.
dark eyes flutter open and closed : vision blurs and protests , head pounds as he hears VOICES mutter out stats that he can't quite comprehend , but familiarity lingers in his BONES and sinks into him LIKE a tingling he can't get rid of . alive . he's alive . he aches , he aches , and he's ALIVE , and the pulsating pain in his head , base of his spine , reminds him . for better or worse , he's alive .
" do - hyun ? can you hear us ? " monotone beeps come from the heart monitor that is just another PAINFUL reminder , and he lets out something that resembles a groan , or a moan ; shifts under scratchy HOSPITAL sheets against scabbed skin , but he's there . he's alive . " you were in a car accident . do you remember ? "
do - hyun groans as he tries to throw his aching arm over his eyes from piercing BRIGHT lies of the hospital room , and despite it all , there's an OVERWHELMING calm in his system : beat of heart monitor syncing up with the pulsing in his head . " yeah , i was in the car --- " and he freezes at hearing the familiar SOUND of heels against the hard floors of the HOSPITAL'S ICU . " no ... NO ... " he whines , turning to one of the DOCTORS in white lab coats , groaning as he does so ; struggling against the tubing , " why did you ... call her ? "
JINGLING of familiar keychain as she swings large purse with her : she makes no move to hide herself , doctor to sheepishly apologize with , " it's standard procedure ... " as jaylina STANDS at the foot of his BED , arms crossed over her CHEST . he can spy her abnormally shiny keychain , and seems to FOCUS on it , as she scowls .
" give me his chart . "
" ma'am , it's not customary --- "
" give me his chart ! " jaylina snaps out to doctor , who offers it to her like scared animal does SACRIFICE to god : manicured nails to snatch at it as she most nearly SHOVES the doctor aside , and the rest of the doctors , save for one in DARK navy blue scrubs sits on the right side of his bed , bemusement lingering on his features . A GLANCE up at him , a beg , a plea , but he simply holds his hands up in a shrug kind of SURRENDER way . pediatrician all but storms up to do hyun , anger ablaze in brown eyes . " are you on drugs ? "
" no . " " alcohol ? " " no . " " a gang ? so HELP me god , do - hyun , if i find out you're in a gang --- " " god , jaylina , no , jesus --- "
" i clothe you , feed you , put a roof over your head , and THIS is you you have to show for it ? " all but slams the clipboard down into his LAP after quick glances through the pages , enough to make him WINCE at the force and contact , but she doesn't bat an eye . " putangina --- i told you to stop hanging out with those stupid kids . all of those kids are going around and acting STUPID . i've told you that you can not . and look where you are . and now you've embarrassed me in front of my coworker . "
" you're the one being embarrassin--- AH ! shit ! stop ! it ! " his words to be cut off by the TUGGLING feeling of her grabbing onto his EAR , jingling of her keys and loose grip enough for him to struggle out of her grasp .
" do you know how fucking embarrassing it is to pick up my son at --- " keys jangle as she flips her wrist to look at the time , " three thirty in the morning because he forgot how to drive a car with his stupid ass friends ? "
he freezes at her words , sheepish little SMILE coming to his lips as he fiddles with the edges of the papers on his charts , listening to her ramble on , as she talks to her COWORKER , who throws do - hyun a wink when she's not looking . " oh my god . he's giving me a stress headache . go fucking fix the rest of my kid before i kill him for being an idiot AND crashing the minivan . " continues to GRUMBLE as she smacks a forehead kiss onto him ( probably a bit too aggressively ) , before exiting the AUTOMATIC doors , and greeting the nurses at the station outside with a smile .
" you look oddly happy for someone who just got chewed out , " the doctor that remains remarks , and do - hyun watches as JAYLINA works her magic with her coworkers , and he swallows , looking up at the other .
" she called me her kid . "
TWO.
PACES back and forth outside of bedroom , glass of WINE in her hand , biting down on THUMB , and waits . waits . ( can't remember the last time you've been this WORRIED : maybe when aj was a kid and came down with strep , and you barely had the MONEY to afford the antibiotics . begged the clinic , your med school , anything for ANYONE to help you with it , but you were just a kid --- and he was too . the overwhelming swelling in your chest , the tightening , the waiting , the GOD FORSAKEN waiting , it's smothering . it consumes your everyday life and demands to be seen , and unrelenting . and you hate yourself for it , you hate it , truly : the relief that came knowing you would never have to have that kind of suffocation anymore .
and then you meet him and you tell yourself it'll be different , you won't let it happen again : but it does . it does ; it CONSUMES you , because no matter how you try to scrub it from your BODY , you're a mother . you're a MOTHER , even when he's gone . even when you won't admit it . )
a small groan comes from the BEDROOM , and she all but sprints to it , setting the wine glass down on table outside , rushing to his side . tears water in her eyes as she KNEELS down to his level . voice is watery as she pushes back dark , sweaty MATTED hair away from his face , his FOREHEAD , cups his face with her hand , " hey baby , " she swallows down her tears , wipes away SWEAT beads that drip down his face as he SHIVERS . " i'm here . mama's here . "
" it hurts , " do - hyun whines , so small , so childish as his body writhes and ACHES in pain and her FACIAL expression hides no pain , eyebrows knitting together and frown deepening as she watches him beg for mercy for a god that does not hear him . " it hurts , please ... "
" i know baby , i know . it's just your body getting rid of whatever shit you have in you right now , " jaylina reassures him , continuing to PUSH hair out of his face . looks away from him , just a moment ( remember when you looked away for more than that . remember the pain of grieving your child . vow never to let it happen again . ) to grab a water bottle on the night stand and hold it up to him . " can you drink some water ? just a little , do - hyun ... " gentle woman is to insist , helping him SIT UP , but even that proves to be a CHORE as he wheezes , trying to SUPPORT himself with his hands , only to almost fall back down as hands give out on him , but she catches him in time with free arm .
" m'tired , " he mopes , but she shakes her head , PUSHING him up a little further to the water bottle , brings it to his LIPS .
" i've got you . just drink some water and you can go back to bed okay sweetheart ? " he makes a SOUND that sounds like agreement as he attempts to drink from hard plastic water bottle , and it spills out , past his LIPS , but she makes quick WORK of cleaning it up : cableknit sweater sleeves used as NAPKIN to wipe away the dribbles . " good . good . you can lie back down . "
one hand on his BACK and one hand on the front of his chest , she lowers the other back into bed and underneath the covers , tucking him in TIGHTLY . his eyes flutter SHUT and shivering seems to come to a slow , and she stands up from her SQUATTING position and presses a KISS to her fingers which then touch his FOREHEAD gently . " goodnight , do - hyun . "
( " goodnight , mama !! " big GRIN to come from the other despite sweating out whatever FLU COLD combination he's gotten this season , and the wormy SMILE that comes to your features is impossible to keep off as you GO IN , fingers tickling at his sides as he GIGGLES and laughs until he's hoarse , and wheezing .
" goodnight , AJ . " you stand up from the BED and smile down at him while he locks eyes with you , hiding smile underneath comforter , before closing his eyes --- )
and she does a double take : shaking head as she does so . IT'S NOT HIM . for better or worse , it's not him .
THREE.
" coming ! " jaylina teeters over marble floor of PENTHOUSE towards front door : makes sure to turn the heat on stove to low , voice loud , to project out and through the door even though CLOSED , waving wooden SPOON in her hand to enunciate and punctuate her words in the air . " i saw your keys on the COUNTER before you left for the eggs , but i FORGOT , i should've texted you . BUUUT , i think these will really bring that new RECIPE together --- " ( and you're so excited : woman never made for DOMESTICITY like this , or , maybe you were , but it was lost after it all , between work and hobby and no one left to be human FOR , but it excites you . )
hitwoman to open the DOOR : heavy pressure on it something she doesn't even CONSIDER , but body reacts before her BRAIN does , as taller man falls onto her SHOULDERS , body , PRACTICALLY deadweight against her : she's lucky she doesn't collapse down WITH him , despite staggering while holding his weight . " do - hyun ? "
" hi ma ... got the e ... ggs... " he mutters into her ear , all but trying to make sure he doesn't TAKE her down with him as BROWN CARTON of eggs fall with HIM .
( all you see is RED . face swollen , beaten to a PULP , bruised , and bloodied , all within an inch of his life . cheeks swell into his purpling eyes , cuts on his FOREHEAD bleed into his eye : nose crooked and poorly aligned , blood dripping from down his busted LIP . you see red , and blue , and purple , but it's red .
YOUR EYES blur with red hot tears : child who you couldn't save somehow blurring with the one in front of you . something hot , disgusting , rageful , deep in your stomach crawls up into your THROAT , begs to be known . you couldn't save him before . YOU COULDN'T SAVE him before . you couldn't . a trail mix of sorrow and unbridled rage cooks within you , demands the violence he's all been put through , all been PUT THROUGH , twice more , burn the world alive if only it means him just a bit more safety , you'd be wise to let them sleep forever , and you're almost so consumed by the RED rage that burns through you ---
--- you almost don't hear him speak . )
" don't ... " frail grip onto her ankle is the only thing that stops her from turning , and JAYLINA looks down at the other , and her rage melts almost instantly into that of WORRY , even beaten , even bloodied , even BRUISED with nothing but pain to show for it ; he's a better person than her . he always will be . " s'my fault ... "
" okay baby , okay . it's okay . i've got you , " all but scoops up the OTHER , slinging his arm over her SHOULDER while pulling him to the COUCH , whispering reassurances in the other's ear while settling him down into it . " i won't let them touch you again baby , i promise . " cups his CHEEKS in her soft hands , trying not to HURT him in the process , but it's an inevitability .
" m'sorry , " he babbles , and she shushes him , smoothing out shirt that has been ripped up in the PROCESS , shakes her head .
" no baby . don't apologize . thank you , " voice cracks , " for coming back home to me . "
FOUR.
" what ... ? " the OPERATING room is eerily silent at the SURGEON'S words , nothing but the heartbeat monitor to beat rhythmically with draped child open in front of her : abdomen opened and EXPOSED to cold air , constant sound of suction from an INTERN who she can barely remember their name of next to her . ( it goes against every FIBER of your being . you're a DOCTOR . a surgeon . move . do something . don't just let the patient sit on the TABLE , you didn't exceed to fail here , to fail now , to fail this CHILD , and you know that you have to move , that you have to do SOMETHING , but the scalpel feels cold and HEAVY in your hands , operating ROOM seeming to fade out and blur around you . ) " i am operating on a VERY tiny human with VERY tiny organs , so please tell me you didn't say what you SAID . please tell me you didn't just say that my SON arrested in the emergency room --- "
" dr. valdez , i did in fact --- "
" i know what you SAID ! " a roar , snap out of WOMAN who's still grieving even now , grieving for son who she never had a CHANCE to save , and now for son trapped behind the wall of her job , of the people , of the LITTLE LIFE she swore to save . ( this is someone else's AJ or do - hyun , you know . know it in your BONES , that you've got to do everything you can in order to make sure they can live the life they didn't --- NO . do - hyun has time . he has time . he has time . you can still go . you can still go . ) " where's the dr. callas . i need him to replace me , " she utters , looking at scared INTERN like she could slice through them with scalpel in HAND if given the CHOICE , but she stays : eerily frozen and refusing to break sterile field , and tries to focus on the sound of the HEARTBEAT of child open on table .
one . two . three . one . two . three . one . two . th
( " what would you do if i died ? " he's oddly serious as he looks at you : you to almost choke on the pancit going down your THROAT , and he slides your glass of wine to you as you STRUGGLE to fight the stinging in your throat , before clearing your throat once more , and taking a sip of the drink . FORK feels oddly heavy in your HAND as you push the chiccharron around on the plate .
" you'll be dead , " you counter with a SNORT , " so it doesn't matter what i would do . " twirl the glass noodles around your fork , refusing to LOOK the other in the EYE as you stab a piece of meat with the END of the utensil . the scraping of his SPOON and fork is enough to make you LOOK up from your own plate , and uneasiness fills your CHEST as he shakes his head . a roll of your eyes , as you continue to PICK at the leftover food that begins to grow cold . " i'll move on . eventually . "
say this with so much CONVICTION you almost believe it , ignore the TILES that can be removed and compartments that linger underneath : the BACK UP PLANS that you've never told him about , things that would most certainly skew his view about you , the blood on your hand . you're a LIAR , know it like the back of your hand , when you say you'll move on , you most certainly won't .
" just curious . " )
" i'm here to replace you , " a gentle voice OFFERS , and it's a moment , and her body feels like it's not even HERS as she peels the GLOVES and dirtied gown off her , slamming it into the garbage , and moving to SCRUB ROOM . water is HOT and she scrubs , and scrubs , hand feeling almost raw after she's finished , before scrubbing again , and again , and doesn't know how much time passes , but SCRUBS until the feeling in her hand is stinging or NUMB . pushes out the DOOR of the scrub room : ignores tears pooling in corner of her eyes and rips off her SCRUB CAP .
FIVE.
THE HEARTBEAT monitor does nothing to comfort the surgeon , find her PLAYING with his limp hand , holding it GENTLY and threading her FINGERS through his , and eyebrows knit together in some amalgamate of FRUSTRATION and sadness , as she SQUEEZES his hand and presses kiss to back of his hand . " it's okay baby . they'll take care of you , " she mumbles into his HAND , not even sure if he can HEAR her , but she still whispers PRAYERS in tagalog to the other . watery eyes raise up to her COWORKER , as she tries to SPEAK , but only comes up with a FROWN , lips pursing as she does so . " are you sure i can't go ? " her voice is so small , so WEAK , " he's afraid ... of hospitals , " her voice breaks as she looks up at the SURGEON , and he gives her a LOOK that all but breaks her HEART . ( you can't let him die alone . you can't . you don't want to . )
stands up from her chair and PRESSES a kiss onto his FOREHEAD , " you're my light . you can't go just yet , " jaylina whispers HOTLY to him , voice covered in tears as she smooths his HAIR back . " i need you to fight . please , do - hyun . " and she looks down at her son , eyes lingering on his facial features , waiting for something , anything , a RESPONSE --- but there's nothing . nothing but the sounds of the heartbeat monitor to comfort her .
and then they roll him out on the GURNEY , and she's alone .
( " i don't know . i'd probably go crazy , " you say with another SNORT . " so you better not die . "
" i'll do my BEST to not do that , " he says with a ROLL of his eyes , and BITING down on his food . )
THERE'S a gown covering his body . the operating ROOM is quiet , and cold , darkness ENVELOPING the two save for the surgical overhead light . she's too afraid to take the BLUE DRAPE covering his body . knows it : knows it in her BONES that he's closed . he's CLEAN . it's standard . but she can't . hole in her CHEST opens and widens , carved itself out when it had NEVER healed from AJ , widened it with another son she's found herself grasping at for for more TIME . harrowing sob wreaks through her BODY as she holds onto the cold hand : squeezing it TIGHTLY as she cries , and cries , until her voice gives out from the gentle screams and her eyes are swollen .
" my baby , my baby , " she mutters and UTTERS like devout prayer , eyes swelling even as she scrubs at them with her dark navy SCRUBS , and tries not to grieve . tries , tries to hold it in , as if it were as easy as holding her BREATH underwater . door to the operating room opens , and she BARELY looks up , and begins to shake her head . " no . no . i will not let you take him away from me again , " she says , heat boiling the anguish in her words , hot enough to burn everyone in the ROOM , but feels strong , firm ARMS of one ... two ... three people begin to PULL her away . body is WEAK from hours of SITTING there , refusing to MOVE and dehydration from the tears she's cried leaves her WEAK , but she tries , she tries , still . she's not finished saying goodbye yet . she's not .
JAYLINA thrashes against the three SURGEONS , kicking and screaming with HOARSE voice , sobs and hot tears running down her already red face as she looks at draped cadaver of do - hyun , and she tries , and tries , but she's weak . she's so , so tired , and so weak . she can only WAIL and beg god for a second chance as they drag her out of the operating room .
( " i'll be fine . promise . " you offer him a WINK , before pushing yourself off from the table . dark humor lingers on your tone , " besides . losing aj hardened me to anything else life throws at me . don't give yourself that much CREDIT . " )
" my baby , that's my baby ... you took my baby , please ... please bring him back ... "
#jaylina ‚ ic.#daemonry#mother ment /#death /#violence /#accident /#hospital /#gore /#ask to tag#this was#harder to write but i got it out#finally#sob#i hope u enjoy... <3
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۟. ♡ ៶ SURGEON tracks down the sidewalk , pulling coat CLOSER to her with a pleasant sigh ; eyes lingering on the sky with a certain kind of adoration that can't be SCRUBBED from her . ( you can feel it . feel it in your BONES : know that feeling like the back of your hand ; been on the opposite end of it far too many times . it's a gaze that can't be found , but always there . always watching . ) another HUM escapes her lips , as she adjusts her PURSE in crook of arm , digging into it to pull out CAR keys from purse . doesn't even FLINCH as she brushes against SMALL glass bottle ; another against hilt of knife , before pulling out car keys with a successful smirk .
۟. ♡ ៶ but there's a certain kind of annoyance that FLOATS by jaylina as she sees her COMPANION --- although she won't say she knows why he's there ; or how he KNEW when she was getting off of work . instead , redhead won't let it cross her FACE , letting elation and GOLDEN tones of laughter escape her lips , ❛ hey boss ! thanks for waiting up ! ❜ ( oh , how well she plays the role , not a FLINCH , not a second off , not the slightest bit of PETURBANCE on countenance . )
۟. ♡ ៶ links her ARM through his , as if it's NOTHING more than second nature , tugging him ALONG to her car ; only to stop after a few steps , a SURPRISING amount of strength in her LITTLE body . heels click on the PAVEMENT as she looks up to the other , before offering FLIRTATIOUS smirk , leaning on TIP TOES , cupping over his ear like whispering something SENSUAL --- for his ears only . a laugh , a GIGGLE , tossing her head back before trying once more , leaving the words for him , and him only . ❛ there's someone following me . if you make a reaction , i'll fucking kill both of you , ❜ jaylina whispers , ❛ so laugh like i just told you the FUNNIEST joke you've heard , and maybe , maybe , i'll actually cook your steak the way you like it tonight . ❜
۟. ♡ ៶ ( starter call . ♥ @puckish-rogue ) !
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LOUD , bold laughter to come from jaylina , full of something she hasn't felt in a long while , but something she relishes in while looking at the other . golden tones of happiness morphs into CONCERN , hand to fall from his hair to CHEEK , and then to tap ever so gently under his CHIN ; much like concerned mother would their child . ❛ but maybe i'll do the speeding tonight , mister lightning fur-queen , ❜ she teases , ❛ you've had a BIT too much to drink . besides , the passenger seat suits you more with those ears right now ! ❜ and sure , maybe it's a little MEAN to compare him to a dog that'd hang their head out the window , but she'd rather do the driving now than him if he had to go anywhere . ❛ and as much as i'd LOVE to match with you ... i can't steal your thunder . i might end up looking cuter than you , and we can't have THAT , now can we ? ❜
there's joy in your expression, unbridled joy that brings a large grin to your face. when hand reaches out and ruffles your hair, a sweet giggle spills from your lips. your happiness .. is it pure ? or created by the drinks you've been having ? how many cups have you swiped from others already ? the night has barely begun and you're swaying a bit on your feet. " i could tooooootally go to top speeds ! i'm like .. like mcqueen from cars !! the ears actually help me go faster ! " you inch just a bit closer, hand covering mouth as you whisper-yell to her. " i have an extra pair if you wanna match with me ~ " / @knifvd
#jaylina ‚ ic.#jirayus#HOLDS GENTLY IN MY PALMS...#she care .... it is her mom and doctor in her . . . .#also if the touchy / physical contact thing makes him or u uncomfy let me know and i can change it o7!!!
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NEVER would admit it : something as weak as some feeling that boils up into her throat at SEEING the other in such a state . frown lingers on her lips , eyebrows knitting together as she HOLDS suture kit in her lap . ( you're never NOT a mother . even now . even when they're not yours . especially not yours . ) ❛ how did you even GET this --- ❜ crinkles of plastic that carries KIT as she waves it towards his STATE up and down , with a certain kind of DISAPPOINTMENT that can only be offered like a mother , ❛ --- beat up on ? ❜
frown deepens ; lips PURSING as she looks at the younger one , lips no longer TURNED into frown , but melting into something expressionless , slender FINGERS to firmly tug at his chin ( but never harshly ) , looking at the other's CUTS and bruises as presented to her , no less surgical knife to pull and filet away at him , before relaxing her grip and letting her hand fall back into her lap . ❛ you need to be more careful . i'll PATCH you up , but some of these will scar , even with proper care . let me get some lidocaine for you , alright ? ❜
@mellodiies ♡ 𝙨𝙘.
#mellodiies#jaylina ‚ ic.#what are you looking at ‚ queue tie pie?#i hope this is okay but pls lmk if u want smth diff<3
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THERE'S A MOMENT . it's been moments , minutes , HOURS . she should've been ready hours ago ; knows it in her bones , but she can't move . can't move . it was a mistake , a SIMPLE mistake , her wallet contents having been spilt out onto MARBLE floor of pristine penthouse . ( you're a shell , you're a ghost of a PERSON , known it since you first seen it hit the light . you're a ghost . you're a ghost . it should've been you , it SHOULD'VE been you . amalgamation of a woman , not anymore mother than you are MONSTER . ) small box with empty slots where vials should have been held are now EMPTY , remains of what should have been sealed now lingering with the PHOTOS and sizzle in contact with each other ; glass sparkles and threatens to cut anything or anyone that comes near it . pistols that seem too big for her hands linger farther off , SCATTERED .
own hands are bleeding : chemical burns lingering on PALMS and stings , but jaylina doesn't move . doesn't MOVE . eyes linger and SETTLE on the two figures in the polaroid that she holds onto , gripping onto the PHOTO with a vice grip ; as if afraid it'll slip through her fingers if she's not careful . hollowed out woman left looking at the small , faded piece of paper . ( AJ , my love , aj . it should've been me . it should've been me . i thought i was better . i thought i was better . i should've been better . ) how long did she have that lingering in there ? how could she forget ? she's not sure . ( you're awful . how could you forget your son ? )
DOOR creaks open , and head is to snap up towards the other . doesn't know when she started crying : hot tears running down her FEATURES as she looks up towards MIRAGE , face almost expressionless save for the TEARS that continue to run down her face . ❛ i told you ... ❜ voice is hollow , swallows down her TEARS , ❛ that i wasn't doing today's job . are you fucking stupid or are you just intentionally dense ? ❜
@spookyhubby ♥ angsty starter call .
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@skytired asked : ❝ Is there something on my face or am I that handsome you can't pry your eyes away from me? ❞ A bright chuckle as he fully turned to face Jaylina, putting his coffee down on the table. He could feel her eyes on him for a while & it surely wasn't just accidental stare. So it's only natural to return the " gesture ", even if obstructed by his bangs.
Slight tilt of his head & smile weaken as now Kanaye was focused on Jaylina. Did he see that face before somewhere?
Either way, no risk, no fun. If the connection was important, he'll remind himself sooner or later. A wide grin was back on his face as he pointed at the other chair at the table.
❝ Don't be shy, come join me. I didn't get any cake yet, so the best part is yet to do. I'll pay for us both, so you get a cake for free & I have a buddy to talk to. I'd say win-win right there. ❞
IT HADN'T BEEN intentional . not at all : found him looking a little too much like the person from last night she had so easily let the life slither out from in between her fingers ( not really : your brain to betray you , you're PARANOID , even now , even now , seeing ghosts where there are none . it's not sustainable , it never is , but the anger burns HEAVY and deep in your belly , no less charcoal fire to become burning blaze , and it burns bright , and the life that you take seems to provide relief to the burns you give yourself ) , but she'll curse herself for being so OBVIOUS .
❛ ... patient , ❜ mouth is moving before BRAIN can process , giving that THIN LIPPED smile to him , one that doesn't quite reach the eyes , ❛ you look like ... one of the patient's i've had in the past . or their caregiver , ❜ jaylina's voice is so peculiarly even for someone who feels like they've been caught with hand in the cookie jar ; but it's the JOB . this is the job . even here ? especially here .
( it's that sinking gut feeling : the one you got the night of your baby's passing , the time when he wouldn't pick up the phone , when he didn't come home ; remember it , remember it all , even if you don't want to , remember the DREAD that dripped down your spine and kept you alive after that day . remember . remember it , and swallow it whole . this is what it's like to be marked . you know it . you've done it . you've never been one to TRUST the hand that feeds you , especially now , but ill fitting smile and blood rushing in your ears seem to be punishment enough to keep you frozen in time . )
instead , she offers him that SMILE , that same smile like he's nothing other than another pediatric patient , voice almost too smooth , too kind , ❛ unfortunately , i've got to get to work , i'm sorry hon , ❜ saccharine sweetening her VOICE as she holds onto hot coffee below the sleeve : feels the heat burn into her palm , but never shies away from it . ❛ i can leave you with my card , though , ❜ and she digs into long coat pocket and RESTS the card on the table in front of him , placing it face down with two fingers .
she takes a last look at his FEATURES : memorizing it and burning it into her brain , before mother offers one last smile to him . it's best to keep an eye on this one , yeah ?
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new tag drop pt 2 ; i will not be updating the old ones , but hopefully this helps keep tags more concise , etc . mostly because i think my tags were super cluttered beforehand LOL
katarina : katarina ‚ ic. katarina ‚ dev. katarina ‚ vis.
jaylina : jaylina ‚ ic. jaylina ‚ dev. jaylina ‚ vis.
hyun : hyun ‚ ic. hyun ‚ dev. hyun ‚ vis.
guoba : guoba ‚ ic. guoba ‚ dev. guoba ‚ vis.
soraka : soraka ‚ ic. soraka ‚ dev. soraka ‚ vis.
luxanna : luxanna ‚ ic. luxanna ‚ dev. luxanna ‚ vis.
misc : dev ‚ inbox. dev ‚ dash games. dev ‚ wanted plot. ic ‚ open.
monika : monika ‚ ic. monika ‚ dev. monika ‚ vis.
ethan : ethan ‚ ic. ethan ‚ dev. ethan ‚ vis.
ooc : bunny speaks ‚ ooc.
#katarina ‚ ic.#katarina ‚ dev.#katarina ‚ vis.#jaylina ‚ ic.#jaylina ‚ dev.#jaylina ‚ vis.#hyun ‚ ic.#hyun ‚ dev.#hyun ‚ vis.#guoba ‚ ic.#guoba ‚ dev.#guoba ‚ vis.#soraka ‚ vis.#soraka :#soraka ‚ ic.#soraka ‚ dev.#luxanna ‚ ic.#luxanna ‚ dev.#luxanna ‚ vis.#dev ‚ inbox.#dev ‚ dash games.#dev ‚ wanted plot.#ic ‚ open.#monika ‚ ic.#monika ‚ dev.#monika ‚ vis.#ethan ‚ vis.#ethan ‚ dev.#ethan :#ethan ‚ ic.
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۟. ♡ ៶ she knows she shouldn't entertain it : she's no SKIN in the game and nothing to bear FRUIT from it , but the train is loud , and the FREIGHTS seem to inch by , leaving her no companion except the radio and the other , but mother is suddenly regretting her choice in COMPANY . ( asks so freely : like he has no sins weighing him down , perhaps that's why , perhaps it's why the IRRITATION boils in the bottom of your throat and you silence it with another swallow . grip the steering wheel of the car , and let your fingers DRUM gently to the beat of the jazz you've turned on ; beat dissonant to the beat of the train wheels that screech and THUMP against the tracks . why you ? it's like he's mocking you . )
۟. ♡ ៶ jaylina mulls over his WORDS , despite it leaving a bitter taste in her MOUTH , but features don't seem to morph at his words : a mixture of boredom and indifference on countenance , eyes tracing the movement of the cars , over and over , but barely moves a muscle . instead , humourless SNORT tumbles from the lips of the surgeon , and she'll look into rearview mirror , as if looking for something . SOMEONE . ( he's not there . he's not THERE . look , and LOOK , and remember , remember the days of LAUGHTER and happiness when you watched him play on the silly little console you had spent paycheck after PAYCHECK saving up for that damned thing , but he was so happy , so fucking happy , how could you not ? how could you not ? )
۟. ♡ ៶ ❛ do what i do ... ❜ voice feels so empty and hollow , airy , like contemplating nothing more than how the TEMPERATURES dropped when the night arrived , as if not thinking about how so clearly the BLOOD of her patients and the blood of her victims bleed the same red . it's always so , so RED . it won't leave . it won't leave . you scrub , and you scrub , and it never leaves . ❛ i save lives . i take lives , it comes with being a SURGEON , but that's not all i am . i'm not a GOD for saving the person on the table , and i'm not a murderer when i can't , ❜ offers him a sly smile that says NOTHING more , ❛ i don't have the time to deliberate my actions . it's a waste of my TIME , and a waste of yours too . if you want someone to judge you by your actions , to ABSOLVE you of sin , go to a priest . ❜ she pauses , almost contemplative , ❛ but i don't need to convince myself . you should do what needs to be DONE for yourself , consequences of good and bad are IRRELEVANT . because if you don't do it ... how do you live ? why bother ? ❜
۟. ♡ ៶ a sigh as the final freight passes by them , and the barrier lifts ; jaylina to gently press on the gas . engine comes to life and pulls them into a steady pace . ❛ you'll spend your entire life second guessing your DECISIONS if you judge them on some arbitrary definition of good and bad . when you DO what you do , are you happy ? are you fulfilled ? ❜
Jay's words lingered in Kurama's mind, like an echo in the vast chambers of his thoughts. The rhythmic clatter of the train's wheels against the tracks seemed to sync with the dissonance within him. He was a man accustomed to navigating the shadowy realms of morality, where right and wrong blurred into an indistinct tapestry of choices.
The turmoil within him was an old companion, one that had walked alongside him through the darkest alleys of his past. Kurama often grappled with the dichotomy of his actions, aware of the darkness he embraced as a necessary part of his existence. The constant dance between good and evil played out in the recesses of his mind, a perpetual struggle that defined him more than he cared to admit.
His penchant for engaging in profound conversations with those who held no stake in his life was a peculiar habit. It was as if he sought solace in the anonymity of such exchanges, revealing facets of himself that remained concealed from those who genuinely cared about him. Maybe it was a way to alleviate the burden of the secrets he carried or a desperate attempt to connect with something beyond the surface. Turning his gaze away from the passing train, Kurama spoke, his voice measured and reflective.
❝ Yes, but eventually you become the things you do—it becomes the essence of who you are. And what about you? ❞ His voice carried a note of genuine curiosity, tinged with a hint of yearning for comprehension. ❝ When you...do what you do—do you convince yourself that it’s the right thing? Or does it really not matter to you whether it’s right or wrong as long as it’s done? ❞
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JAYLINA is a sparkling lightbulb of happiness ; watch as her small SMILE turns into grin , ( oh , how you still play doctor , how you still play mother . be as violent as you want , but that doesn't wash it from your HANDS . ) slender hand with scarred fingers to REACH OUT and ruffle the other's HAIR . ❛ the absolute CUTEST were-driver . although , i'm not really sure how you're supposed to drive like that ... i'm not sure i could exactly trust you to go TOP SPEEDS ! ❜
open.
" can you guess what i'm dressed up as ~ ? " you're clearly dressed as a racing driver but .. is that .. dog ears on your head ? " i couldn't decide .. so i just decided a were-racing driver was the best ! i'm cute, aren't i ? ruff, ruff ~ "
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