#jay got raided halfway in and had to give a content warning.

[autisticlalna]

AAAAAAAA. FUCK. VP stayed with Sapphire as long as he could-- he couldn't remember the loops, Vikings never remember, but he needed to be there for them, because even if all he knew was that his sister was stressed and scared because why does this keep happening, what did i do wrong that was enough for him to know they need help.

but things start to break. they cant both be running in circles, not the "true" versions of them. it doesnt matter how hard he digs his heels in, how hard he tries to escape notice, when everything grinds to a halt. and then he's gone, with a replacement standing where he was. someone made to do the job he wasn't doing. someone who gave up on her.

What do you think Tempus and Locus were like as siblings? Did they get along? Did they despise each other? Why does Sapphire want to find her original half so badly? Is it because they were originally joined at the hip and this new emptiness is killer? Or does she feel as though she needs to find him? To atone for some great and tragic sin?

WAILS .

(context for the names thing: potential theory of Tempus and Locus being names for Sapphire and the first Viking / VP! maybe!)

so like.. judging by the signs in the Clocktower. after losing him, the memory of VP kinda feels like it was Saph's reason to keep going. they're a duo - one literally cannot exist without the other.

maybe they weren't as close as they could've been, though. maybe Sapphire didn't realize that until he was gone. no amount of rewinding, resetting, or retrying has brought him back. he keeps seeing people with his face, with his voice, but it's not the same.

they have to keep going. it's what he would've wanted them to do. he would've wanted them to find a way out. (or maybe that's what they're telling themself, because the thought of him leaving them behind on purpose is too much to bear.)

id like to think the were happy. i think Sapphire would like to think that too. but when you're stuck in a cycle where one of you kills the other over and over - always a pleasure and always a demise - something's going to break eventually.

what happened for VP to ghost his sister? what happened for the remnants of him to forget her? what happened for the only one to even know he exists to not want anything to do with her? how did she get stuck in the loop to begin with, and how much of it was his fault?

"stop being so lousy of a brother". was Sapphire really saying to Viking, or was part of them directing that to VP, too?

Sapphire misses him. maybe he misses Sapphire back, if enough of him still exists to miss someone.

[werewolfdays]

Coming Out

part 3 of 3 for visiting Nadya’s parents! (here’s part 1 and 2) 

This whole storyline has been the hardest for me to write and this part in particular has been the most difficult so I hope you enjoy it and happy holidays for people celebrating! (Content Warning: abuse mention) -

“Shit!” 

The shrill curse alone would have pulled me out of my dreams, but the bed shifted so suddenly that it forced my eyes to snap open. 

I took a second to get my bearings, blinking at the wall for a few disorienting moments. Then I remembered that I was at my parent’s house. Remembered the night I just had with Jayde. My body had that slight satisfying soreness that I only get when we made love, making the first emotion I felt contentment. 

The confusion hit me next and I flipped over to face what had woken me while I curled deeper into the warm blankets to shield my naked body from the slight chill in the room. I became more puzzled when I saw Jayde frantically pulling her clothes on like the house was on fire. 

I frowned deeply, “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s almost eight-forty.” She said after she shrugged her flannel on and pointed at the clock. 

Even with my blurred vision, I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and saw that she was horrifyingly correct. My stomach dropped. Sure, I wanted to finally come out to my parents today, but being caught naked in bed with my girlfriend was exactly the opposite of how I wanted it to go. 

I sat bolt upright, quickly snatching the clothes that Jayde was handing over to me, “Did you leave Ruben’s door open?” I asked, grasping for any hope that my parents wouldn’t know Jayde had spent the night with me, and pulled her shirt over my head. 

Much to my relief, Jayde shook her head while rushing to button her shirt up, “No, I closed it just in case, but they could still see me leave your room.” 

I slipped my underwear on and attempted some cautious optimism, “Just be extra quiet, I’m sure they won’t notice.” 

Now that I was mostly clothed, I took a few seconds to sit at the edge of my bed and take a few deep breaths. I needed to regain my calm so I could convincingly act like nothing happened. If I walked into breakfast looking guiltier than when I got caught raiding the secret candy stash as a small child, then that would definitely raise suspicions.

Jayde hesitated by my door with her head tilted to the side, listening and waiting for the coast to be clear. She looked a little ridiculous with her unevenly buttoned flannel and her sleep pants slightly askew on her hips, but nothing that couldn’t be explained away with a hard night’s sleep. I watched on as she carefully opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, sighing in relief when it silently shut behind her. 

Still in nothing but my underwear and Jayde’s shirt, I stood and went to my bag to retrieve something a little warmer to wear. Did we really get away with it? I thought to myself as I rummaged for some clothing. 

On the one side, getting caught like this would be mortifying beyond belief, but at least it would be done and over with. Of course, on the other side, I probably wouldn’t get a chance to explain myself at all before Jayde and I were kicked out of the house immediately. No, it was far, far better to have this situation in my own hands. 

Then Jayde came back into my room, looking more than a little alarmed, and I held my breath for the worst case scenario. 

“Um.” The word came out of her mouth so slowly that I was certain we had been caught, “Your mom wants you to know that breakfast is ready.” 

“Uh…” I just stared at her with my mouth agape for a moment, trying to process what she said, “So, you’re telling me that…”

“I’m telling you that breakfast is ready,” She repeated, taking a couple more steps into my room, “And nothing else.” 

The breath of relief I released was so big that I ended up backing up a few feet to sit down on my bed again. Jayde came to a stop directly in front of me and I looked up to see both an amused and bewildered expression on her face through the veil of lingering panic. 

A light chuckle came out of her mouth, “She caught me right at the top of the stairs. I must have looked like the biggest idiot, standing there with wide eyes and unable to say a damn word.” 

Picturing that made me laugh softly too. After another sigh, I reached out to start fixing the buttons on Jayde’s shirt so she wouldn’t look too haggard once we got downstairs, “It’s a good thing we won’t have to worry about close calls anymore after today.” 

She went quiet for a few seconds, not speaking again until I glanced back up at her, “I know you have a plan and everything, but… you don’t have to do it today if you’re scared.” 

I gave her a grateful smile, “I’m going to be scared no matter what. It’s not about that, it’s about whether or not I’m ready.” 

Her hand came up to tuck some of my hair behind my ear and then rested on my cheek, “And you’re sure you’re ready? There isn’t any shame in realizing you aren’t.” The sincerity I saw in her midnight blue eyes warmed the inside of my chest. 

“I’m ready, Jay.” I told her confidently, finishing with her shirt. I took another moment to twist the waistband of her pants back into place, tying the cord. Then I turned my head and pressed a kiss to her palm before standing up and heading back over to my bag, “Just… make sure we can leave quickly if it ends badly…” 

“I know how to make a fast getaway.” She quipped while I slipped some pants on. 

I let out a soft breath in amusement and followed Jayde out of my room and downstairs. The entire house smelled of cooking breakfast. Sausage, eggs, hash browns, toast. My mouth watered at the thought of eating it, having expended a lot of energy the previous night. I headed straight for the coffee pot to fill up a mug, and grabbed a plate to pile high. Both of my parents were sitting in the same seats they always sit in during meals, my dad with his newspaper and my mom nursing a steaming cup of tea. 

“I didn’t think I’d see either of you this morning.” My mom said with a lighthearted tone. 

Jayde offered a bashful smile, “I’m usually an early riser.” 

“It’s true.” I confirmed, “Jayde has tried to make me a morning person without any luck. She’s almost always up before dawn.” 

“Ruben’s bed must be very comfortable for you, then.” 

“Yeah, I guess it must be.” Jayde replied, turning away before my mom could see her clench her jaw. 

The urge to reach out and soothe the brief rush of anger I saw from her at the mention of my brother caused my hand to twitch in her direction, but I stopped myself. Then I wondered if it would matter whether I stopped myself or not if our relationship was going to be revealed in a few hours time. Jayde was right in assuming I was scared. I was terrified. The bubble of secrecy was where I felt the safest in this household, and I just wanted to feel as safe as possible until the very last minute, even if it felt cowardly to hide.

I was halfway through my breakfast, too deep in my mind to pay much attention to the morning small talk around me, when a particular question directed at Jayde suddenly pulled me out of my thoughts. 

“What happened there?” My mother asked.

My head snapped up and I looked over at what she was motioning at on Jayde. My heart dropped like an anvil as soon as I saw that Jayde’s hair had been brushed over her shoulder to expose her neck, mortifyingly revealing the faded bite mark I left on her last night. Our luck was really unfortunate. The mark was nearly healed. In a couple hours, it would most likely be completely gone, but right now, it was just visible enough to be noticeable. 

I swallowed hard, trying to conceal the rapid flush of heat to my face and ears. Jayde seemed to be struggling just like I was, her hand shooting up for the bite mark and repositioning her blonde hair over it. 

“Oh- uh,” Jayde cleared her throat to hide her panic, “I, um, I sometimes scratch myself in my sleep. It’s nothing, really.” 

Before I could be relieved by the excuse, my mom started to lean over the table to try and get a closer look, her concern deepening, “Is it a rash, you think? Are you allergic to any fabric softeners?”

“No, no,” Jayde answered quickly, trying not to be too obvious in leaning away from her, “It’s just a little tick. It’s fine, I swear.”

I noticed my father started to take interest in this new topic, his eyes shifting from my girlfriend to his wife and back again. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he watched the two, almost as if he was trying to decipher something. 

“I can give you some cream for that, if you like.” 

“That’s very generous of you, Mrs. Bishop, but I’ll be okay.” 

“Winona, please.” My mom reminded her.

“Right, Winona.” Jayde was sounding more flustered with my mom’s hospitality. “Thank you, but it really is fine.” 

I nervously took a sip of my coffee, suddenly remembering the hickeys Jayde gave me and being beyond grateful that the majority of them were on my back. Though I did subtly adjust the collar of my shirt to make sure the one at the base of my neck and shoulder remained hidden. My peripheral vision stayed on my dad, noting his line of sight was solely on Jayde now, and I worried that he was realizing too much. I needed to change the topic. 

“Okay, if you say so.” My mother politely relented.  

“Mom, I meant to ask you how work is going.” I interjected, “How are the students this year?” 

I nearly thanked God himself when that drew her attention like a charm, making her forget about Jayde’s neck in a blink. 

“Oh, you know how teenagers can be. They’re a challenge, especially some of the boys, but every student is different and it’s so nice to talk with them one-on-one and find a system that works.” She answered proudly, “A lot of these kids don’t know just how smart they really are. Reminds me of you.” 

My small smile came across my lips. It wasn’t particularly strange to receive praise from my mom, but it hit a little different after the conversation I had with my father yesterday. I had hoped that maybe I could make at least one of my parents proud. In one way or another. 

“You’re a teacher?” Jayde asked, looking a little less tense at the subject change. 

My mother nodded, “Yes, I teach history at the local high school. You know, I was Nadya’s teacher when she was attending.” 

“They let you do that? There weren’t any concerns with nepotism?” 

“There were.” She confirmed, “I had to be a little harder on her to stop the rumors, but Nadya handled things just fine.” 

“Apart from the popular kids trying to be friends with me just so they could get a better grade.” I added. 

My mom raised a finger at me, “It didn’t work though.” 

“History is an interesting subject to pick, how did you decide to teach that?” 

I risked a glance towards my father at Jayde’s continued questioning. He resumed reading his newspaper, having no interest in our conversation anymore. I thought a silent prayer in hopes that he’d let go of any suspicion towards Jayde until I officially came out. 

“Well, history is such a rich subject, and a surprisingly repressed one in this country.” My mother answered, happy that she had the opportunity to explain, “I mean, just our history alone is being taught in such a watered down version that the majority of the people don’t have a full understanding of how this land came to be. You wouldn’t believe the amount of convincing it took to change my curriculum for a more accurate account.”

“I’m glad that your students have someone like you to teach them the full truth.” 

“I was supposed to go back home and teach after university, but Richard and I made this family together, and the children on the reservation know their histories already. I figured my knowledge would be best passed on somewhere like here.” 

Jayde actually looked very impressed, “That’s very admirable.” 

My mother gave her a grateful nod. Really, I was just beyond pleased that she was getting along with my girlfriend. Jayde mentioned last night that my mom liked her, even said that she shared old photographs of me with her, but seeing it for myself lifted some of the pressure off my shoulders. If my mother had a good impression of Jayde, then maybe it would be easier for her to accept that I was in love with her. 

After breakfast, my father retreated into his office, and Jayde took on the chore of cleaning the kitchen while I helped. My mother seemed to have disappeared, but then I spotted her through the kitchen window having another cup of tea on the back porch, peacefully enjoying the late morning sun. The urge to grab my own cup and go out to sit with her tugged at the back of my mind. I hadn’t really desired quality time with either of my parents since I was very young. It was a rare feeling, but I knew I shouldn’t ignore it. I might not get the chance again after today. 

Turned to Jayde, “Do you mind if I…?” 

She paused washing the dishes, looking out the window, and understood what I was requesting. Her smile was soft as she nodded, “Yeah, go ahead, I got this.” 

“Thanks.” I told her, glancing around to make sure it was just us before I leaned in to give her a quick peck on her cheek.

Once I steeped a mug of tea, I tentatively made my way out of the back door. The sky was mostly cloudy like it had been all weekend, teasing an oncoming storm from the north, but the sun’s rays still peeked through the cracks in the heavy blankets of gray hanging above us. 

My mother sat comfortably in her deck chair, rocking slightly as she breathed in the fresh air, looking almost like she was meditating. She was alerted to my approach when the screen door creaked closed behind me and her face brightened up when I sat down in the empty chair beside her. 

“It’s a pretty day.” I noted with a nod at the clouds, “Think it will rain?” 

She nodded, “I’m thinking maybe a bit of a drizzle.” 

“I do miss splashing in the puddles out front as a kid.” 

She chuckled knowingly, “You’d get so muddy and your father would lose his mind every time you came running back in the house when you heard a big thunderclap.” 

I smiled too, “Thunder doesn’t scare me anymore.” 

“I can’t imagine anything does, dear.” Then she gave me a meaningful look, “Not after the risks you’ve taken.” 

“You’d be surprised, mom. A lot of things scare me.” 

“That’s what makes you brave, Nadya.” Her hand reached out to hold mine, “You are a very brave young woman.” 

“What makes you think that?” I asked curiously. 

My mother pursed her lips, her eyes dropping for a moment, “Leaving home was the hardest and scariest thing I’ve ever done. Just to get enough money to do it was far from easy, and I had so many people try to talk me out of it, but ultimately, I knew that it was the best decision I could make for myself. And it was. It led me to this life I have now. It led me to having you.” Her thumb lovingly brushed my hand and I held her gaze, “Now you’re following in my footsteps, whether you know it or not. I know your father is worried, but I’m proud, Nadya. You recognized the hardest choice was the best one for you and that makes you brave.” 

“Thanks, mom.” I said through a strained voice, holding back some tears. Hope bloomed in my chest, knowing that I had one parent on my side. 

Her hand, warm from holding her cup of tea, moved to cup my cheek, “Never ignore how you feel inside.” 

“I won’t. It’s gotten me this far.” 

“Good girl.” My mother praised affectionately, patting my cheek and pulling her hand away to resume cradling her mug. 

I took a sip of my tea, savoring the comforting feeling it filled me with, “I’m really glad I came home.” 

“I’m glad too.” She said after a drink, “Maybe… maybe you could visit more often. I know you're busy, but I love seeing you and how grown up you’ve become. Your friend is always welcome here too, if she likes.” 

“That sounds nice.” Despite how unsafe this house made me feel, I couldn’t help but hope for things to be okay after today. I tried so desperately to ignore the fact that me coming out could destroy the foundation I built this weekend. That it could ruin this moment between me and my mother. 

“What time are you leaving?” 

“Soon,” I replied, focusing on the reflection of the clouds in my tea, “It’s a long journey back home and we have work and I have school.” 

“Of course.” She nodded. 

We fell into silence and I realized I could just allow myself to enjoy it for a little while. After all, if everything was going to be ruined soon, I should take advantage of the peace now. 

Getting showered and dressed and packing my things seemed to go by both too slow and too fast. I must have rehearsed what I was going to say dozens of times. Must have replayed every possible outcome. I rummaged through my old desk, sifting through piles of old notes, until I found a blank piece of notebook paper. Once I had a pen in my hand, I chewed on my bottom lip and put my glasses on. 

Dear, Mom and Dad,

Leaving a letter was the safest way to go. I wouldn’t have to witness any sort of disastrous fallout. I continued to write.

I’m a lesbian. Jayde is my girlfriend. I’ve been gay my whole life and thought you should finally know…

Quick and to the point, can’t go wrong there. Then the tip of the pen hovered over the paper. What else was there to add really? Certainly not the fact that Jayde was a werewolf and I’ve been living a far more dangerous life than they could ever imagine. I groaned at myself, realizing this was a stupid idea and crumpled the paper in my hand, tossing it in the garbage can. My mom thought I was brave. Jayde thought I was strong. I wanted to prove them right. I had to do this face to face. 

“Can I take your bag to the car?” Jayde asked behind me.

I jumped a little in my chair, not having heard her enter my room, but I turned around and nodded, “Yeah, that’d be nice, thank you.”

She shouldered my bag and lingered for a moment. I felt her eyes studying me, but couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze for several long beats. When I did, Jayde offered a smile, “Having second thoughts?”

“Not exactly,” I answered, looking down and chewing on my lip some more, ��Just feels like I’m about to kick down a house of cards I spent forever constructing.” 

Her footsteps came towards me, but I still looked at the floor. Then her finger tapped underneath my chin, gently urging my gaze upwards. My eyes found hers again, and I saw nothing but love in them. “One way or another, everything will be okay.” 

In this moment, I knew she was right. I could lose this family today, but it wasn’t really one I actually had in the first place. Not like I have with Jayde. The worst case scenario could happen soon, but I would still have a home to go to. A real home. A place where I felt safe and happy and truly loved. 

“I know it will.” 

A quiet beat passed between us, followed by Jayde leaning in to place a warm kiss to my lips. It was brief, and even chaste, but it still made the butterflies in my gut flutter. She pulled back, her smile beautiful, and she stepped away from me, backing out of the room with our bags and disappearing around the corner. In the final minutes of silence I had in my bedroom, I gave myself time to take deep breaths and prepare. 

Once I mustered the nerve to go back downstairs, I saw that my mother was the only one waiting in the living room. My dad must still be in his study, doing whatever it is he does in there for hours at a time. This was my last chance to back out. I could just say goodbye and leave, Jayde wouldn’t judge me for it. But no. That wasn’t what I wanted, and more importantly, it wasn’t what I needed. 

“Hey, mom, could you go get dad? We’re gonna leave in a minute here.” 

“Sure, I’ll be right right back.” She said. I could tell she was sad to say goodbye, but she seemed more hopeful after our conversation. I had to push through the lump that formed in my throat at the thought that what I was about to say soon might tarnish her sentiments. 

Jayde came back into the house, closing the front door behind her, and made her way to me, “Is this it?” 

“This is it.” 

“Do you want me to leave?” She asked, shifting in place like she was getting ready to go wait in the car. 

“No.” I quickly replied. My hand caught hers, just in case she disappeared, “Please stay with me.” 

Her fingers laced with mine, her thumb caressing the back of my hand, “I’m right here.” 

I held on to the lifeline that she was for me until I heard my parents return to the living room. My father’s expression was neutral, but his eyes landed on Jayde before they settled on me. I found that slightly odd, but tried not to dwell on it. 

“You heading out, sweetie?” He asked me casually. 

“Yeah, we’re heading out. Um…” I started subconsciously wringing my hands, massaging my thumb in small circles over the palm of my hand, “Do you think we could sit down for a second? I have something to say.” 

“Is everything alright?” My mom questioned with a worried frown as we all found places to sit. 

Jayde sat closer to me than she has all weekend. She still didn’t touch me, but her presence gave me a desperately needed confidence boost. 

“Everything’s fine, it’s just… well I need to tell you something.” My heart started to race, faster than it had when my dad called me out yesterday, and I took in a deep breath to try and calm it. “I’m, uh…” Then I looked over at Jayde, seeing that her gaze was firmly locked on me. When we met eyes, I took the leap. No turning back, here it goes, “Jayde isn’t my friend. She’s my girlfriend.” My gaze drifted over to my parents again, noting their unreadable expressions before continuing, “We’ve been together for over a year, and I’ve known that I’m a lesbian for… a lot longer than that.” 

The entire room- the entire house- was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Quiet enough that I thought I could hear my own heart pounding. It was almost as if the outside world went still as well. The silence lingered unbearably as I was torn between waiting for their reactions and letting my gaze fall to the carpeted floor in front of me. One thing was for certain, a pause like this was not a good sign. 

The first person to react was my mother. As I was about to open my mouth and beg for either of them to say something, she suddenly shot up from her seat and stormed away towards the stairs with a weak sob. On instinct, I stood up to rush after her. 

“Nadya,” I heard Jayde say, feeling her hand gently grab my arm to stop me. 

I only gave her one brief pleading look over my shoulder. “Please don’t.” I begged softly, pulling free of her grasp and chasing after my mother. 

I found her standing in the middle of the master bedroom upstairs. Her face in her hands in what I could only assume was despair. It hurt my heart to see, though I wasn’t about to give up just yet. I can and I will mend this. Make her see that this wasn’t as awful as she believed. 

“Mom, this isn’t a bad thing.” I said, taking a few hesitant steps into the room, “I’m happy. Jayde, she’s—”

“This is all my fault.” My mother cried. 

I blinked, “This isn’t anyone’s fault, mom, this is who I am. Who I’ve always been.” 

“No,” She insisted, finally facing me so I could see the tears of guilt on her face for myself, “No, this is my fault.” 

This reaction wasn’t what I was expecting. It just didn’t make any sense to me. I shook my head and reached for her, “Why would you say something like that?” 

What she said next stopped me right in my tracks and made my blood run cold, “Ruben has messed you up more than I thought.” 

“What?” I asked through a wheezing breath of air. 

“I was so optimistic when you came here talking about school and your work, but…” Her expression became contorted with pain and she had to look away, “The damage done to you is too deep.” 

For several moments, I couldn’t even breathe, “Mom… what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying I never should have listened to your father!” She snapped, but not at me. She was angry with herself. “I wanted to get Ruben real help! But he told me he would take care of it. Said he didn’t want his only son to be locked up in a nuthouse. Ruben is his son, I didn’t have any right to tell him what to do.” 

All I was capable of was standing there. Still as a statue. Breath caught in my closing throat. 

“I should have fought harder to protect you, I see that now. You’ll never know how sorry I am. Goodness, Nadya, look at what you think of yourself.”

It was a feat to try and process what I was hearing. My mom reached for me, as if to comfort me, but I stumbled a few steps back, not wanting her anywhere near me, “You’re saying you knew? You and dad?” 

Her shimmering eyes bore into mine, “We tried to protect you from him, Nadya, please believe me. All of those summer programs, all of those sports, encouraging him to enlist, they were all supposed to distract him from you.” 

“They didn’t work.” I whispered while shaking my head. My eyesight became blurred with my own tears. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was starting to crack something inside of me, I could feel whatever it was splitting me open more and more after each passing second. My voice trembled with my next words, “You don’t even know what he did to me, do you? You don’t even know that he threatened to kill me! Did you?!” 

My mom covered her mouth in sorrow and horror with a shaking hand, more of her tears falling down her cheeks, “Nadya, I am so- please forgive me—”

“No!” I screamed. That crack shattered me in two, releasing an emotion that I didn’t have a name for, but it made me sick. “No, you don’t get to beg me for forgiveness! You let it happen! Both of you, you let him do whatever he wanted!” 

“Nadya—”

I couldn’t hear any more of it. Not at all. Without another word, I stormed out of the room, leaving my mother a sobbing mess behind me. Only the burning need to run pushed me forward. I had to get away from here. I had to put this place behind me too and never, ever look back again. 

——

Nadya gently pulled out of my grasp and raced up the stairs, leaving me alone in the living room with her father. I tried to ignore him, pacing back and forth while keeping my eyes glued to the upstairs so I could listen, just in case I should intervene, but his glare was so hard that it was all I could feel. It was like his eyes were drilling into the back of my head. 

I was torn between focusing my hearing or not. I didn’t want to intrude on their conversation, I only wanted to make sure Nadya was safe. My chest ached for her because this was not how I wanted things to go. I just couldn’t understand it. How any parent could turn their back on their child like this. My parents would never do such a thing. They would accept me, and Nadya, with unconditional love. Of that, I had no doubts. 

Richard’s eyes still tracked my every movement and I had about enough of it. 

When I turned to face him, throwing my own glare to rival his, he spoke, “You’re the reason, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?”

His scornful stare did not waver, “You show up and she suddenly leaves everything behind, giving up her life and her promising career. It was because of you, wasn’t it?” 

I despised it, but he was correct. Maybe not in the way he was assuming, but that hardly mattered. If I hadn’t asked for Nadya’s help that day in the hospital, she would still be working there, still going to a real school, still enjoying a normal life. My eyes dropped and I turned away in shame, clenching my jaw hard. 

“Don’t think I don’t know what you did under my roof either. You didn’t hide it as well as you think.” 

I figured he must be talking about me sleeping with Nadya last night. The urge to throw it in his face very nearly made me impulsively say something vulgar about my intimacy with his daughter, but I would never degrade her like that. Instead, I rolled my eyes, “Grow up, Richard.” 

“You’re taking advantage of her.” He said, his words dripping with the disgust he had for me. 

My gaze snapped back up at him. Even though I still blamed myself for dragging Nadya into my life, I couldn’t fully hate myself for it. Not when I was as happy as I am with her. Not when I could feel how much she loved me in every kiss. See it in every smile I received. I was convinced, despite it all, that we still had a good life together. It was something worth fighting for, something I was willing to die for. Something I’m still willing to die for. And here was her dickbag father, trying to tell me I was taking advantage. 

I took an aggressive step towards where he was still seated on the leather chair, looking down at him as I bared my teeth, and spoke slowly to get my point across, “Everything I do is to make sure she’s safe. Make sure she feels happy. And loved.” My next sentence came out in a growl so low that if anyone else were in the room, he would have been the only one to hear it, “Do not come at me like you know what’s best for her. You don’t know her at all. She is my first thought. I can tell she isn’t yours.”

He didn’t seem to have anything to say about that, apart from looking like I backhanded him, so I scoffed and resumed my pacing while keeping a close eye on the top of the stairs. Then the sound of shouting made my steps falter. Specifically the sound of Nadya shouting. She’s always been such a soft spoken person, rarely ever raising her voice, and when she did, it was calm and firm. There was nothing calm about the muffled yelling I heard coming from upstairs. I couldn’t imagine what must have prompted her to be reacting in that way. 

Nadya came storming down the stairs not long after, crying and looking more upset than I’ve ever seen her. She didn’t bother looking back, didn’t even look at me, just made a beeline straight for the front door. The force with which she tore it open was so violent that it slammed against the wall hard enough to shake the whole house and bounce back closed right behind her. I was so baffled by that behavior that I stood there for a few seconds, blinking in confusion and wondering if that was really Nadya I just saw. 

I shook myself out of my shock. That was probably a good sign to leave. I casted one more furious scowl over at Richard, silently letting him know that if I had it my way, I’d knock his teeth out, and then I went after Nadya. Before I reached the front door, I glanced up the stairs once more, but Winona must still be hiding out in her room after her confrontation with her daughter. A part of me wanted to stomp up there and drag her downstairs, make her apologize for whatever she said, but I knew that wasn’t a realistic solution. So I left the house. 

There was a fear in the back of my mind that worried Nadya had just run off on foot, but I found her waiting in the car, sitting in the passenger's seat. Her feet were propped up on the glove compartment, forearms resting on her knees with her head in her hands. I opened the door and settled into the driver’s seat, studying her carefully. Every breath she took looked painful and she continued to cry, not trying to hide it from me. 

I could sense every single negative emotion, feeling it as my own, as it hung around her in an invisible cloud. It was powerful enough that her usual soothing scent was buried deep underneath it all. 

“Nadya,” I struggled with what to say. 

“Just get me out of here.” She mumbled into her hands. 

That, I could do. “Okay.” 

We weren’t on the road long before her miserable sobs were becoming too heartbreaking for me to bear. I was waiting as patiently as possible for Nadya to tell me what happened during her conversation with her mother, but she didn’t say a single word. All Nadya did was continue to weep into her hands while curled up in a ball of misery. It was horrible to see. Horrible to feel that cloud of grief around her grow until it consumed the whole car. I had wanted to give her some time to calm down, but that didn’t seem like something that would happen any time soon. 

“Nadya, what happened? What did she say to you?” I prompted gently, keeping a close eye on both her and the road ahead. The only answer I received was a single shake of her head and a quiet whimper. She was never one to completely shut down, not like this, which just made me more concerned. “Nadya, please talk to me.”

When I still didn’t get a response, I knew I had to do something. Whatever happened was really bad and I wasn’t about to just let her suffer through it by herself. I pulled the car over and parked it in an alley. Probably not the safest one in this area, but for the moment, it would do.

Nadya finally looked up when the car stopped moving. “No, Jay, what are you doing?”

“I just need you to tell me what happened, that’s it.” I requested as carefully as possible. The desire to comfort her in any way I could was tugging at my heart, pulling me towards her, but I held back in case that would make her uncomfortable, “You’re scaring the hell out of me. I want to be here for you, I want to help you, but I won’t know how until you tell me what she said.”

She sniffled, wiping away her tears even though they continuously fell, “They knew.” 

My frown deepened, not fully understanding just yet, “They knew? About us?”

“No,” Nadya shook her head and looked at everything besides me, “Ruben. They knew what he was doing to me. The whole time, they knew.” 

It was like she just spoke in a different language. There’s no way that was true. Because, if that were true, then her parents allowed Ruben to abuse her for years. They allowed their child, their own flesh and blood, to be harmed under their roof where they had the audacity to call themselves a family. I couldn’t think of anything more despicable than that.

The same rage I felt when I had Ruben by the throat the other night started to boil up from my chest in a growl I was unable to contain. I turned my attention back to the vehicle, putting it in reverse and pulling the car out into the street. I did not continue our journey home. Instead, I turned the car back in the direction we came. Back to that fucking house. 

“What are you doing?” Nadya asked when she realized. 

“They are not fucking getting away with this.” I snarled through clenched teeth.  

“Stop.” She commanded so firmly that my foot hit the brake pedal without me telling it to and my fury actually started to fade like a flickering flame. I would have dwelled on how weird that was if Nadya didn’t sound so distressed when she continued, “No, don’t take me back there, take me away. Take me far fucking away, alright? That’s what I need from you.” 

I looked at her and she looked right back at me so intensely, her brown eyes bright with tears, that I knew how important it was to respect her wishes. “Okay,” I agreed, the flickering flame blowing out completely, and I flipped the car around, “Okay. Let’s go.” 

The drive fell into silence. Nadya didn’t completely stop crying, but she no longer sobbed, which was slightly encouraging despite the fact that she fell silent once again. After a while, a few droplets of water pelted the windshield, soon turning into an outright downpour once the thick roiling clouds fully blanketed the sky above us. The gentle rhythm of the storm against the car seemed to soothe her, and me, even more. I sensed her own dark invisible cloud start to dissipate, washing away with the rain, and was grateful to the sky for offering her comfort. 

It took more than a couple of hours for her tears to fully subside. Half of my attention was on the road and the other half was spent glancing over at her to check on how she was doing. I was so relieved to see the reflection of dry eyes in the window as she stared outside at all the passing scenery. Sure, she was still unusually quiet, but I had been worrying that she would never run out of tears to shed. She did look exhausted though, rightfully so. 

When I pulled over to refuel the car, I stepped out into the pouring rain to stop by the little coffee shop next to the gas station for some sustenance. While I was waiting for my order to be prepared, I took a moment to study the map I had and make sure we were still headed in the right direction. In my close inspection of various routes, I noted a spot on the map that called to me. A place that wasn’t too far from where we were currently stopped and wouldn’t even be out of our way when we ventured on. It might even be the kind of place to put a smile on Nadya’s face. 

I collected our drinks and made my way back to the car. Nadya didn’t give any indication that she noticed my return, so I held out a cup to her, briefly bumping her on the arm to gain her attention. She shook out of her trance with a small jolt, looking over at the cup I was offering her. 

“It’s tea.” I told her, “I thought you could use some.”

The plastic lid had collected a fair bit of rain drops, but that didn’t seem to bother her. She accepted it with a weak, but grateful smile. 

“You should eat something too.” Next, I offered a small brown bag that was warm to the touch, “Muffin?” 

Nadya took that too, putting her drink in the cup holder so she could peek inside the bag. My spirits were lifted when her smile became more genuine at the sight of her favorite type of muffin, prepared nice and warm just for her. 

Once the gas tank had been filled, I put us back on the road again. Thankfully, Nadya was nibbling on her muffin and sipping her tea. I could sense a tiny bit more tension leaving her body. The anxieties making both me and my wolf restless began to quiet with them. 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.” Nadya said in a slightly hoarse tone from all of her crying. 

The sound of her voice made my heart skip a couple of beats. “Don’t be. I wouldn’t have listened to you otherwise.” 

“What would you have done? Beat them up or something?” She let out a breath that would have sounded amused if she wasn’t so drained. 

“I’m not sure…” I answered honestly, “I didn’t really have a plan, I was just seeing red. I would have at least handed your father his own ass.” 

The next quiet scoff she released had some more life to it and I glanced over to see a brief hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. “That would have been a sight to see.” 

A quick smirk flashed across my lips, “No, it wouldn’t have. He’d be knocked out in two seconds flat. And that’s only if I went easy on him.” He’d be grateful that he’s a dentist, that’s for sure. 

Our surroundings slowly turned into trees that were growing taller and taller by the mile. It was like we were being swallowed by a whole other world. A world where giants roamed. Nadya strained in her seat to see the tops of the redwoods through the sheets of rain running down her closed window. I smiled to myself as I drove on, knowing that she would love this. 

I pulled the car over when we entered the state park, easily finding an empty space park. There were maybe two or three other cars around, the rain serving as a deterrent for hikers not keen on getting soaked and muddy. Nadya and I weren’t the type of people to mind that sort of thing. 

I looked over at her again after I shut the car off, “Will you take a walk with me?” 

She nodded as eagerly as she could manage. 

All of the foliage from the trees gave us more cover from the rain than if we had been out in the open, but we still got decently drenched in less than ten minutes of walking around. The trails weren’t very long or complicated at all, I could tell this was mostly just a casual tourist spot, but it was still soothing beyond words to be away from a congested city and surrounded by nature. The trees themselves were more like natural skyscrapers, reaching so high into the sky that the tops were hidden in the mist. Wherever the other hikers were, I couldn’t say. The park was big and empty enough that we didn’t see any signs of other people. It was just me and Nadya, strolling through an oasis of green and scents of earth with the chorus of rainfall. For a little while, I could almost forget anything bad happened today. 

Nadya eventually sat herself on a fallen log. Our pace had been too relaxed for her needing a rest, but I sensed she did need a break to be still for a moment. I sat myself right beside her, taking in our surroundings in comfortable silence. 

“I can’t tell if going was all a big mistake or not.” She finally stated. 

I turned my head towards her, “Well, at least you know.”

“That’s what I keep telling myself. At least I know…” The tip of her boot dug into the soft muddy earth at her feet and she stared at it, deep in thought. “I went because it felt like the right thing to do. I know what it’s like to lose someone important to me after I lost you. And when I got you back, I realized how lucky I was for getting a second chance. Not many people get that. Then I thought about your parents, how you didn’t get to say goodbye… My parents are still alive. You don’t have the same privilege that I do and it felt wrong to ignore that.” 

“But, Nadya,” I started carefully, “My parents weren’t anything like yours are. In a way, that makes me more privileged than you.” 

“I didn’t know just how different. Or how… bad. That’s what’s eating away at me. I didn’t actually want to come. I didn’t want to open myself up to them.” A grimace came across her face as she shook her head, “I mean, I do want the kind of relationship that you had with your parents, but I think I knew, deep down, that I wouldn’t be able to have that with them. Like, I would have to have different parents. If that makes any damn sense.” 

I nodded, “It does.” 

“I thought I had gotten through to my mom, but…” Her shoulders lifted in a hopeless shrug. 

I had to admit that I thought the same thing. It actually felt like a betrayal to me after getting to know her mother. “That was really disappointing.” 

“I could have just left it alone. Kept the distance I had with them.” Nadya let out such a large sigh that her whole body deflated. “Ignorance really was bliss.” 

“But knowledge is power, right? You’re stronger now that you know.” I pointed out. 

She shook her head, “I’m not so sure…” 

Despite her doubts about herself, Nadya reached up to touch the necklace I gave her. The one that was a symbol of strength. The one that reminded me of how strong I knew her to be. Her thumb brushed over the pendant like she was trying to convince herself that she was wrong. If she couldn’t, I would. 

“Nadya, look at me.” 

It seemed like she had to force herself to do so, but those warm brown eyes slowly traveled up to meet mine. Their color was as beautiful as the surrounding redwood forest. As calming as the gentle patter of rain all around us. 

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever met.” I told her with unshakable certainty. “After everything you’ve been through, after everything that’s been done to you, you’re still true to who you are. Someone who is kind and brave and smart. You’ve never wavered for a goddamn second. Sure, the world changes you in some ways, and it’s tested you, but you’ve always been you, Nadya. That is strength.” 

I watched as her eyes misted again and became momentarily worried that I had said something to upset her, but then she smiled at me. The biggest, most genuine smile I’ve seen from her all day. A smile that I was scared I wouldn’t be able to see for some time after recent events. It filled my heart with hope and joy. That expression on her face, damp chestnut hair peeking out from under the hood of her jacket and clinging to the sides of her face, made her the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. 

Just when I thought I couldn’t love her any more than I do right now, she kissed me. Her taste was mixed with the freshness of rain and the comfort and sweetness of the tea she had been drinking. My hand reached up to cup the side of her neck and pull her closer to me. The action caused her lips to part mine, deepening the kiss, and my senses became blurred to my surroundings so they could be completely focused on her. I felt just how cold her hands were when she gripped my wrists in a gentle grasp, but the rest of her was warm, including her mouth and every soft sigh I swallowed. 

“I love you.” She whispered, giving me a few more delicate strokes of her lips before pulling away to rest her forehead against mine. 

“I love you too.” I replied, leaning back to look at her. 

My hand went from her neck to the hand holding my wrist. There I captured her freezing fingers, cupping them in both of my hands and breathing hot breath on them to warm her up. Nadya watched me with a small smile lingering on her lips, allowing me to do the same to her other hand. Just a short time in contact with my unnatural body heat started to bring some life back into her cold digits. Satisfied that frostbite wouldn’t take them, I simply held onto her and brushed my thumbs over her knuckles, enjoying the comfortable silence we fell back into. 

Nadya looked around some more, enjoying the scenery. “You know what?” 

“Hm?” I asked curiously. 

“I think this is where that Star Wars movie was filmed.” 

I gave her a puzzled blink and looked around. That’s when I noticed the vague familiarity of the place. A crooked smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, “Empire Strikes Back…?” 

“Return of the Jedi.” She corrected.  

“Return of the Jedi, that’s right.” I nodded, “With the teddy bear people.” 

That made her chuckle, “I think they’re called Ewoks.” 

“Sure, that tracks.” I said sarcastically. 

“I had a crush on Leia.” She told me with a cocky grin. 

A moment passed before I said, “I think I did too.” 

That made her chuckle turn into an outright giggle. Her giggle was infectious, making me giggle too. Soon, our giggles evolved into outright laughs that neither of us could shake. It felt so good to hear her laugh, to laugh with her after such a stressful weekend. It only cemented the fact that there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for this gorgeous girl beside me. I’d move mountains to hear her laugh if I had to. Fight a whole army to make her feel safe. Tell her every single day for the rest of my life that I loved her just so she would feel it as I do.