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fruitcoops · 3 years ago

Note

Going off of the Jax request, I’d love to see a demisexual or gray sexual reg having a romantic/sexual relationship with Jax. It’s not often that I, a demisexual human being, see other ace people in relationships in media. No pressure though 🥰

Since NYU-era Reg is still so new to the whole 'being a functional person' thing, this is less of a specific relationship and more of him figuring out the difference. Hope you enjoy! Regulus credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Jax and Kris are my OCs <3

TW mention of alcohol

Jax glanced up, then back down. Then up again, because they were pretty sure Regulus was—yep, definitely sure—and fixed their eyes on their computer screen again. An itch prickled the nape of their neck and they absently scratched at it.

One more glance couldn’t hurt.

“What are you looking at?” Jax blurted when they found Regulus’ steel-gray eyes still focused on them with deadly precision.

“Are you homophobic?”

Jax felt their mouth fall slightly open. At the next table over, a young woman quickly began gathering her things. “I beg your fucking pardon?”

“Are you homophobic?” Regulus repeated without blinking.

“Regulus.” Is he high? Is he dying? Jax shook their head, so beyond baffled there wasn’t a single word to replace it. “I’m literally nonbinary.”

“But are you homophobic?”

“Why—” They pinched the bridge of their nose so hard spots danced behind their eyelids. Homophobic. Am I, pride flag central, homophobic. “No,” Jax sighed. “No, Reg, I am not homophobic, though I am dying to know what made you think I was.”

“You didn’t do anything. I just figured I’d ask.”

“In the middle of the library?”

Regulus frowned. “Was there a place you’d prefer?”

Jesus Christ. “You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes because you were worried I was homophobic?”

Color rose to Regulus’ cheeks and he squared his shoulders, something that seemed to be a habit whenever someone made him uncomfortable. It reminded Jax of a porcupine raising its spines, or a cat’s fur bristling in defense. He finally looked away, fiddling with the spiral of his notebook. “Just making sure,” he muttered.

Worry took the place of the itch at Jax’s neck; they cast a cursory look around for other students, then shifted their chair closer to the table and bent their head. “Are you…?”

“What? No.” Regulus stopped his fidgeting and tucked his hands under his thighs. “My brother is. I’m—hmm.”

Jax stifled a laugh at the disgruntled noise, and after a moment’s hesitation reached out to roll Regulus’ pen toward him. “You don’t have to talk about it. If you want to, though, I’m all ears.”

“I know what I am,” Regulus said with a disgruntled wrinkle of his nose that said the exact opposite. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your…stuff.”

“It’s cool,” Jax assured him, offering a smile that made some of the tension bleed from Regulus’ posture.

They didn’t talk about it for another month.

Then Regulus kissed them.

It was a mutually-agreed-upon kiss, to be fair, but the fact of the matter was that they were both a little tipsy and Jax had never been the type to take things like that seriously. Regulus, on the other hand…

“Reg—”

“I’m sorry!”

Jax paused, turning back to the building for a second with a muttered curse before trudging through the blistering wind once more. “Yeah,” they muttered, even though Regulus surely wouldn’t hear it. “You said that.”

Everything had been fine at first. Kris had gone to get them all refills—free ones, thanks to it being his brother’s apartment—and Regulus had a funny sort of frown on his face. Jax hadn’t thought much of it. Reg was known for his lethal case of RBF among their friend group, and it only made him more endearing. But that frown was the kind that came with some serious thought and Jax spent the better part of five minutes wondering when Regulus was just going to spit it out already. They had been a little surprised by the ice-cold determination in Regulus’ eyes, though not nearly as surprised as when the words finally decided to work.

Can I kiss you?

…what?

Can I kiss you? On the mouth. You don’t have to.

Like an idiot, Jax had shrugged and grinned and set their empty cup down. It wouldn’t be the first time they had kissed a friend at a party. Sure, dude, they had said, as comfortable as ever around Regulus. Go for it.

They had just enough time to register that Regulus had soft lips and terrible kissing technique before there was a burst of motion, an apology, and Regulus disappeared into the crowd of stumbling college students packed into a too-small space. Jax had only managed to call after him once before he was out of sight.

Which brought them to the present, both shivering like idiots who had left their coats inside during November in New-fucking-York while Regulus did his level best to fast-walk the whole half-mile to their dorm and Jax chased him down for…reasons. Reasons that were 90% platonic and 100% concerned.

“Can we talk?” Jax called, breaking into a light jog.

“I’d rather not!”

“Please?”

Regulus didn’t grace that with a response, his shoulders up by his ears and arms wrapped around himself like a hug.

“Reg, c’mon, don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything!” and then, so quiet Jax nearly missed it, “that’s the point.”

“I’m not upset.”

“I am!”

“Why?”

“Because—” A moment of hesitation followed. “Because fuck you, that’s why!”

“That’s not gonna work on me, Reg.”

“Yes, well, it should!”

Jax’s breath steamed in the air when they huffed; the cold air burned their lungs on the next inhale and they silently cursed Regulus’ natural athleticism. The guy was fitter than any college student had the right to be.

“Reg,” they tried again. “You can’t outrun this.”

“Why not?”

“We live together, dumbass.” Regulus came to an abrupt halt, illuminated by the streetlamp overhead and the porch light of their dorm building. Jax waited a few feet away and tried not to shiver too loudly. “Look, I can sleep somewhere else tonight, but…”

“No.” Regulus slumped. Jax could make out just his profile in the darkness, all shadows and angles and something very, very hurt that they still didn’t understand. Regulus rubbed the back of his neck. “No, you don’t have to do that. I’m—can we go inside?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Jax hoped their relief didn’t come through too much; then again, it really didn’t matter. Regulus was bad at emotions, but excellent at reading people. It was a gift they had wished for many times.

They headed indoors in complete silence, maintaining the comfortable distance. A theory began to take shape in the back of Jax’s mind, but they stayed quiet until the door to their dorm closed with a dull thunk and the overhead light flickered to life. Regulus dropped his keys on his desk and scrubbed a hand through his hair, still shivering a little.

Jax remained in the doorway. The theory rolled and ruminated, then tumbled out of their mouth just as Regulus kicked his shoes under the bed. “Have you ever kissed someone?”

Regulus snorted humorlessly. “That bad, was it?”

“No,” they answered honestly.

“I meant what I said. We don’t need to talk about it.” Regulus’ coat came off next and disappeared into his closet. “I’m sorry for asking.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jax said gently, stepping further into the room. Regulus kept his gaze down as he shuffled into pajama pants and pushed up onto his mattress, folding his long legs under himself with distinct misery written on every inch.

“I pressured you.”

“You didn’t. I promise.”

“You don’t like me like that.”

Jax let out a slow breath and moved to their own bed, smoothing the covers down just for something to do. Regulus was prone to making assumptions when it came to other people’s opinions of him—they didn’t like thinking about the why behind that habit. “No,” they admitted. “Not really.”

“You thought Sirius was hot, and we look the same.”

“I can think people are hot without wanting to fuck them, Reg.”

Some of the resentment faded away with Regulus’ grimace. “I don’t want that.”

“Neither do I.”

“But we kissed.”

“So?” Regulus tucked his knees up to his chest, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands. Jax couldn’t count how often they had come home to find Regulus picking at the fabric of his shirts; no hem or cuff was safe when the nervousness set in. They scooted closer, closing a fraction of the distance between the beds. “You can kiss people and not sleep with them. You can kiss people and not date them. It’s just kissing.”

A dark red thread came loose. “A kiss means something.”

“Not if you don’t want it to.” How did nobody tell you this? Jax silently wondered. Regulus had been so at ease around his brother at parent’s weekend, but every deep conversation they had brought up more indications that Regulus’ life had been very different in the not-so-distant past.

“I don’t want to sleep with anyone,” Regulus said with more conviction than Jax had heard all night. They waited, and watched him deflate. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“What do you mean?”

Regulus fell quiet for a longer stretch, his careful eyes focused on the steady blink of Kris’ alarm clock. “I don’t know if I want to date you, Jax,” he said, limbs pulled tight to his body. “I don’t know whether that was a good kiss. I don’t know the difference between wanting to be friends and wanting to be more, and I’m sorry I dragged you into it.”

“Please don’t be sorry,” Jax said softly.

“I really don’t know.” Regulus sniffled, though his eyes were dry and Jax was grateful for it. They had only seen him cry once, and that was enough. “That’s not meant to be an excuse.”

“I didn’t think it was.”

“I don’t know how to have this many friends.”

Rip my heart out and stomp on it next time, would you? Jax swallowed hard. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll help.”

Regulus ran both hands down his face. “Can you turn the lights out? It’s easier to talk in the dark.”

“Yeah, man, I’ve got you.” That, at least, Jax could do. Regulus turned their shared lamp on as they headed back to bed, but otherwise didn’t budge. The gentle glow took away some of his sharp edges, softening him into the person they knew.

Regulus pillowed his chin on his arms, only half-visible in the thick fabric of his Lions hoodie. “My old friends were fucking terrible, Jax.”

“I figured.”

“I really like you. I want to hang out and have you over for holidays, and I like it when we hug, but I don’t think I want to kiss you anymore. Does that make any kind of sense?”

Hello, Regulus’ old friends? I’ve come to ask about your spleen’s extended warranty. “I like you, too,” Jax said, reaching out to tug on the end of Regulus’ duvet to get his attention. “And that sounds like regular friendship to me, Reg.”

“But I’m friends with Leo, and I don’t think he’s cute like you are.”

Jax tugged again until Regulus stopped hiding his face in his knees. “You’re my friend. You’re hot. Kris is my friend. He’s not my type. I care about you both the same way.”

Regulus groaned into his sleeves. “Why do feelings have to be confusing?”

“Fuck if I know, dude.”

“I…am so tired.”

“Go to bed, then.”

“Don’t we need to talk about the whole kissing and dating and friend-ing thing?”

“We agreed we don’t want to date, right?” Jax half-shrugged. “We’re friends. I’ve kissed friends before. There’s not much else to worry about.”

Regulus stared at them in a mix of awe and confusion. “You are so relaxed all the time.”

“Most of the time,” they corrected, flipping back their bedsheets. “It takes effort, too. I’m turning the lamp off unless we need to talk more.”

Regulus shook his head, though his brows were furrowed. “Non, I’m good for now. Bonne nuit.”

“Sleep well, Reg.” The room fell into darkness and Jax curled up beneath the soothing weight of their blankets. Their hearing was still dampened from the party, and they could feel sobriety creeping in; with any luck, the hangover wouldn’t be too bad. Deep conversations had a tendency to ease oncoming headaches.

The rustling from Regulus’ bed stopped. “Are you sure you’re okay with the—”

“The kiss didn’t bother me,” Jax mumbled around a yawn. “There wasn’t even tongue. It barely counted. Sleep.”

“I wouldn’t stick my tongue in your mouth for a first kiss,” Regulus grumbled as he continued getting comfortable.

“Mhmm.”

“I wouldn’t!”

“I know.”

“Well—fine. Good. I’m glad.”

Jax rolled their eyes, grateful for the shadows that hid their grin. “If you’re still worried, we can talk about it tomorrow when I’m not still a little drunk.”

“…really?”

“You. Unconsciousness. Now.”

The bedframe squeaked under Regulus’ constant movement, then went quiet when he sighed. “You’re a great friend. I’m very lucky to have you. Just so you know.”

Jax smiled into their pillow. He could act as tough and scary as he wanted, but Regulus was a big old softie beneath all those layers. Someday, they hoped other people would see the same. Regulus deserved it. “Wouldn’t wish for anyone else, Reg.”

#regulus black #jax keahi #kris #sweater weather #vaincre #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #nyu #college reg #relationships

158 notes · View notes

fruitcoops · 3 years ago

Note

eve! your fic about reg + sirius and laundry was fabulous and the bit about parent weekend made me think of something that i would love to read. do you think you could write something about dumo and celeste going to regulus’ parent weekend? just some fluff & found family. thank you!

Fluff, found family, and Regulus? Yes please! Jax, Kris, and Vanessa are OCs, but all other characters belong to @lumosinlove <3

TW for mild panic (no panic attack, just icky feelings)

Regulus surveyed the room with no small amount of disdain bubbling in his stomach. Could have been nerves, actually. He wasn’t sure. Emotions had never been a strong point in the Black family, and his habit of falling back on general grumpiness had been stubborn even through therapy.

Regardless of the reason, he wasn’t feeling good, and his room was looking even worse. It was a complete and utter disaster, a mess, a Titanic-level failure to clean and hygienic horror—

“Hey, it looks great in here!” Regulus jumped as a heavy backpack thudded to the ground; Jax put their hands on their hips and looked around with a surprised sort of grin. “Did you do all this? Dude, you made your bed with hospital corners?”

“It was my best attempt,” he muttered, then smoothed a hand down his sheets for the fifth time. Goddamn creases.

Jax sniffed the air. “Is that…vinegar?”

“I washed the floor,” Regulus said absently. The window screen was nailed to the frame, rendering it immobile; maybe he could call the RA and ask for a screwdriver to pull it out for a soak… “The smell will clear out if we leave the window open.”

Jax nodded, turning in a slow circle. “Damn.”

“Do you think it’s clean enough?”

“For what?”

Regulus stared at them, speechless. “For parent weekend.”

“I—yeah, probably.” Jax frowned a little, as if this wasn’t the most important weekend of their entire lives. “Why, are the RAs doing a room check? You know they don’t actually care what the room looks like as long as we don’t leave, like, drugs out, right?”

“I know,” Regulus said, a little impatient. Jax and Kris were the best roommates he could have asked for, but it was clear who the planner of their shared dorm was. He wanted to know details down to the minute. They were more like Leo—on top of things, but so laid-back it was startling sometimes.

Jax nodded again and began unloading their bag, tossing books and a planner across the tiny desk by the foot of their bed. “I was thinking—” They cut off with an oof when Regulus tossed their sweatshirt over. “Thanks. I was thinking I’d bring my folks up here on Saturday morning, but we’ll be out of your hair the rest of the day. Is that okay?”

Saturday morning. Sirius and the Dumais arrive at 10 am, lunch at noon, take them around the city until five pm, dinner at six. Regulus nodded. “Ouais, c’est bien.”

“Are your parents coming up?”

Regulus faltered. Jax seemed to notice, too, because their curiosity became a concerned frown and they stopped stacking their notebooks. “Sort of,” Regulus answered evasively. For all his plans, he still hadn’t figured out a way to explain his family situation. He tended to fade into the background whenever the subject arose. “It’s…my brother is coming, yes.”

To their credit, Jax just nodded. “Cool. My parents have been dying to meet you, by the way. I think they’re impressed with your ability to keep me from getting scurvy.”

Some of the weight on Regulus’ chest lifted and he managed a half-smile. “Have you been gossiping about me?”

“Only the bad stuff,” Jax said, but their grin and scrunched nose told him it was just a tease. That was new to Regulus, too—the nice kind of teasing. He and Sirius traded chirps from time to time, but there was still so much to heal behind the scenes. But he didn’t have tenuous history with anyone at NYU, Jax had four siblings, and Kris was from Boston. Regulus quickly came to realize the teasing was more affectionate than anything.

“Your family doesn’t watch hockey, ouais?” he asked.

Jax barked a laugh. “Yeah, actually, haven’t you heard of the famous O’ahu ice rinks?”

“Very funny,” Regulus snorted. He had been grateful for it at first. The idea of having a roommate who knew everything about him, every nasty bit of what the Snakes (and his parents) made him into, almost made him scrap his applications on multiple occasions. Jax’s complete lack of interest in hockey and Kris’ general distaste for sports had been a breath of fresh air, even when it felt a little like Regulus was lying to them. They had been living together for two months and neither knew that only a year ago, Regulus had been gearing up for the living nightmare of his rookie season.

A minute of relative quiet passed before Jax glanced at him. “Why do you ask?”

Regulus shrugged one shoulder. “No reason. My brother plays and my—the people coming to see me are really into it, that’s all.”

“Sam, yeah?”

“Sirius.”

He bit back a grin at Jax’s groan. “God, I knew it was going to be something crazy like yours.”

“Then why did you guess Sam?” Regulus laughed.

“Fucking—I don’t know! I went to high school with four Sams! Are there any other wild names I need to memorize?”

“Pascal, Celeste, Adele, Marc, Louis, and Katie.” Even the sound of their names eased the jittery pressure in his body. 24 hours, and he wouldn’t be all alone in a big city for the second time in as many years.

“So that’s a yes,” Jax deadpanned.

Regulus smiled innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Those names are perfectly normal.”

Jax socked him on the arm as they passed. That was another thing Regulus had been working on—friendly touches. Sirius was tactile, but very few people other than him and Leo had got up the courage to so much as slap Regulus on the back. It was like he was a feral cat someone let into the rink that they were afraid would bite at the smallest attempt at a pet.

But he was getting better. Regulus returned the gentle punch to Jax’s bicep, right above the band of their tattoo, and hauled his messenger bag off the floor. He could worry about family stuff after class was over. If he was lucky, he might even be able to talk them both into getting donuts before Kris caught the train home.

---------------

Campus had never been more crowded. The whole place hummed with activity and yet Regulus stood alone by his favorite bench, the one that caught enough sunlight to stay warm and still kept the glare off his laptop. He checked his watch again; they weren’t scheduled to meet for another fifteen minutes, but Dumo liked to be early and Sirius had probably been pestering them all since the previous—

“Regulus!” He jumped at the sudden shout and turned, bewildered. Jax was making their way through the mob of families with two people in tow, both of whom shared their dark hair and eyes. “I thought you were heading out this morning.”

“Oh, sorry—”

“Hey, no, that’s perfect,” Jax assured him, still grinning. “These are my parents. We’re going to check out the dorm in a sec, but we wanted to come say hi first.”

Social time with strangers. You can do this. Regulus offered a smile and a hand to the short woman at Jax’s shoulder. “Hello, I’m Regulus Black. Jax’s roommate.”

Her broad smile reached all the way to the high of her cheeks as she shook his hand. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Regulus. We’ve heard such good things.”

“I hope so,” he said with a light laugh. Be nice, be friendly, keep the conversation going. “How was your flight?”

“Uneventful.” Jax’s father had the same sharp jaw and kind eyes; his handshake was firm, like Dumo’s. “Thomas Keahi. Jax told us you have siblings as well?”

“An older brother, and then some younger adoptive ones, yeah.” Regulus’ stomach leapt at the thought of the Dumais as his adoptive family and he kept his face carefully under control. It might have been the easiest way to describe them, but some days he still didn’t know if he had the right. He barely spent seven months with them. Sirius had seven years.

Sirius would hate the mere idea of Regulus feeling like he didn’t belong.

“The minions couldn’t take time off school to come up, but my parents are here for the next few days,” Jax continued. Even for someone who had always struck Regulus as chill to the core, they seemed relaxed. There was a permanent smile on their face; their shoulders were loose. It was nice to see them so obviously happy.

“That’s good, there’s so much to do in the city.”

“Would you want to come out to dinner with us sometime?”

“Oh.” Regulus couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice. “You—really?”

He expected Jax to be offended, but they seemed unfazed by his abrupt rudeness. “Of course, man, we’d love to have you.”

“We completely understand if you want to spend time with your family, though,” Mrs. Keahi assured him. “Are they coming to visit?”

My family. Is my family coming to visit? “Yes,” Regulus said, swallowing down the initial burst of unease. “Yeah, they’ll be here sometime this morning.”

“Well, they’re welcome to join as well. I’m sure they’re lovely people.”

“Yeah, they’re—” Regulus did a double take as a familiar head of jet-black hair stuck out amongst the rivers of much shorter people over Mr. Keahi’s shoulder. “They’re…right there, actually.”

Sirius, per usual, had found a goal and zeroed in on it. Unfortunately, that goal was Regulus, and the obstacles in his way were living, breathing, unpadded human beings. Regulus fought the urge to groan aloud as Dumo had to take Sirius by the shoulder and physically pull him back to let a campus truck pass before ushering the rest of the family forward.

“Reg!” Sirius called with a puppylike grin, waving one hand over his head.

Regulus considered curling up on the ground and giving in to lethal levels of embarrassment. He settled for a slight wave of acknowledgement instead and braced himself for the inevitable rib-crushing hug.

“Reg,” Jax muttered under their breath as Sirius and the Dumais finally broke free of the worst of the traffic and started crossing the plaza. “You didn’t tell me your brother was hot.”

“Shut up,” Regulus gritted out.

Katie started running the second her light-up sneakers touched the grass and he bent to catch her as she launched herself at his legs with a shriek of excitement. “We missed you!” she shouted directly into his ear.

“I missed you, too,” he laughed, letting her squeeze him tight around the neck. Jax and their parents watched in clear amusement and he fought a blush. “Mr. and Mrs. Keahi, this is Katie. Katie, this is my roommate Jax and their parents.”

She shifted around to fit in the crook of his arm and beamed at them. “Hi!”

“Hi, Katie,” Mrs. Keahi said around her smile. “I like your ribbons.”

“Mama did them for me.”

“She did an excellent job.”

Two big hands lifted Katie straight out of Regulus’ arms in a burst of giggles; he didn’t even get a second to protest before all the air in his body was forcefully expelled. “My turn,” Sirius teased, ruffling the back of his hair. “Where’s your coat, Reg?”

“Dorm,” he wheezed. “Killing me.”

Sirius let him go at last, but kept both hands firmly on Regulus’ shoulders as he looked him up and down. “You got shorter.”

“Did not.” In his periphery, he could see Dumo and Celeste introducing themselves and the kids to the Keahis; it seemed to be going well. Regulus would die before he admitted it aloud, but he felt something in his chest settle at the sight of them all within reach.

“You did.” Sirius bent to kiss the top of his head before clapping him on the shoulder. “Missed you. The house is too quiet, now. I keep making an extra breakfast for you.”

“Remus keeps making an extra breakfast,” Regulus corrected, and got another hair ruffle for it. Nobody at school touched his hair. Sirius always did.

Sirius was here.

It hit him, then—the reality of the situation. He had been so caught up in cleaning and frontloading work to leave his whole weekend open that he hadn’t left any time to process the why behind it. His mismatched little family had driven four hours to visit. They were right there in front of him for the first time in two months. Celeste and Sirius had both teared up when he left, but they were smiling now. And they were here.

“And you must be Regulus’ brother.” Mr. Keahi’s deep voice startled him out of his epiphany and Regulus blinked hard as Sirius moved to shake his hand; he felt a light touch to his elbow and caught Jax’s silent question, then nodded. He was cool. He was fine. There was no need to get emotional.

“I cried when I picked them up from the airport this morning,” Jax whispered as the chatter started up again between their families. “No judgement here.”

Regulus cleared his throat. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

A different person might have rolled their eyes, but Jax was Jax, and they just grinned. “Course you don’t.”

Regulus opened his mouth to chirp them back, but a heavy weight fell over his shoulders and he went willingly into Dumo’s embrace. “It is wonderful to see you,” Dumo said, holding him close. Regulus shut his eyes; he hadn’t heard anyone speak Quebec French in so, so long. It sounded like home.

“I missed you, too,” he murmured, the words rolling off in an easy tumble.

Celeste was next, gathering him up in her arms for a tight squeeze and burst of rapid-fire questions—are you sleeping? Are you happy? When was the last time you had a vegetable?—before she smoothed out the cowlick Sirius had created and kissed his forehead. “Two months is too long,” she teased. “Knutty is pining.”

“He’s got plenty of people to keep him occupied,” Regulus laughed, then ducked back down for another hug, just because he could. He could do that now. They were here. Celeste made a soft noise and patted him between the shoulder blades, her long brown hair tickling his nose before he straightened again. When he looked back, Jax was poorly hiding a grin.

Told you so, they mouthed. Regulus checked to make sure the kids were occupied before sending his snarky roommate a well-deserved middle finger.

Basic small talk became comfortable conversation and an invitation to combine their campus tours, which Dumo enthusiastically agreed was an excellent idea and brought a pained look from Jax. “They’re gonna be best friends,” they whisper-groaned to Regulus as the group began to move again. “I hope you’re ready to be double-adopted.”

“Kris should’ve stayed,” he muttered back. “We could have made it a party.”

Jax snorted. “Pretty sure that’s called a ‘commune’.”

“Jax!” They both startled, and Mrs. Keahi urged Jax to the front of the group with a smile and a tilt of her head. “Come on, tour guide, we don’t know where any of these places are!”

They glanced back down at Regulus. “I’ll take this shift, you take the next one?”

“Deal.”

Jax slapped him on the back and jogged forward, and Regulus blew out a slow breath. He was grateful for a few more minutes to figure out how to navigate two wildly different worlds colliding right in the middle. School Regulus was not Home Regulus. Hell, he had only been Home Regulus instead of Snakes Regulus for six months. He wasn’t sure what they expected of him, but he had the lingering feeling he would fail miserably at being both.

Sirius lagged back from the rest of the group as they wandered down the cobblestones, all listening to Jax with a classroom-like intensity. One broad shoulder nearly bumped Regulus off the short curb. “You okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“Reg.”

“Don’t start,” he warned.

“Reg—”

“I’m fine.” He turned to walk backwards down the familiar path, spreading his hands as Sirius leveled him with an unimpressed look. “See? Healthy, whole, I have friends…”

“And I am so grateful for all of that.” Sirius’ brow arched. Regulus wrinkled his nose. “Spill.”

“There is nothing to spill,” he insisted. “I know you worry about me like it’s your job—”

“It is.”

“—but I am an adult, I’m in college, and I don’t need it.”

They walked in silence, letting the chatter of their families and the dozens of other visitors fill the space. Regulus slipped his hands in the pocket of his hoodie with a sigh and fell back into step next to Sirius. He always went too far. Always got a little too harsh, too abrasive. Their mother had called that ‘independence’ once upon a time. “I missed you,” Sirius said at last.

Regulus waited for him to continue; when nothing followed, he listed to the side until they collided gently again. “I missed you, too. And really, I’m okay. I’m happy here.”

“I meant it. The house is too quiet now.”

“Maybe you should get a smaller house,” Regulus suggested, kicking a pebble into a nearby bush. “One you don’t hate.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“You did when you bought it.”

Sirius heaved a sigh. “Why would I buy a house—”

“You didn’t put fucking pictures in the living room for seven years—”

“Okay, low blow—”

“Do you actually like that house?” Regulus glanced up just in time to see Sirius roll his eyes. “It’s so big and so empty. The walls are beige, Sirius.”

“Not anymore. We got bored a month ago and repainted.” A smile tugged at the corner of Sirius’ mouth and he slung an arm over Regulus’ shoulders, dragging him in for a side hug. “It’s not about the house, Reg. I don’t give a shit about the house. But I do miss hearing you rummaging in my basement like a feral raccoon on Saturday mornings, so the house is too quiet. But I’m so, so glad you’re happy.”

Regulus chewed the inside of his lip for a few seconds. “How many pictures of me did Remus make you move from the kitchen because you got emotional?”

“None of your business.” Sirius released him with a flick to his forehead that did nothing to quell Regulus’ snickering. “I like it here. Nice campus. Nobody asking for my autograph.”

“Yeah, about that…” Regulus pulled the cuff of one sleeve over his hand and picked at the frayed edge with one hand, slowing by a degree until there was a little more distance between them and the others. Jax was still ambling along, perfectly at ease. “Let’s not mention the hockey thing, ouais?”

Sirius frowned. “The—oh. Oh.”

“They don’t follow any teams. Jax and their parents—they don’t know, and I’d like to keep it that way.” He swallowed, suddenly wishing he had brought the fidget bracelet Kris gave him. Pulling at a stray thread in his hoodie cuff would have to suffice. “I told them you play, though, so feel free to…you know. Talk about it. Just not me.”

But Sirius’ frown only deepened. “Have people been bothering you about it?”

Regulus could have laughed, if the topic didn’t still put him on edge after eight months of freedom. There had been a few sideways glances in the beginning and a few more turned-down autographs, and yet he seemed to have found the least sports-inclined group of friends on planet Earth entirely by accident. “No,” he said. “Despite my name and school being dumped in every single fucking sports magazine, I’m old news. And I’m okay with that.”

“You sure?”

“Jax is nice.” The library was getting closer by the second and Jax kept looking back at them; Regulus scuffed his sneaker against the curb. “Jax, and Vanessa, and Kris…they’re good friends and I like them a lot, and I’m happy being just Regulus.”

“Just Regulus,” Sirius repeated with a nod. “Okay. I can do that.”

-------------------

He didn’t even have to tell Dumo. If Regulus had any doubts that the man was psychic before, they were all dashed when he expertly veered away from hockey whenever it began to bud in their conversations for a full four hours. It wasn’t until lunch that the topic became unavoidable.

“It’s a pretty long way from Gryffindor, isn’t it?” Mrs. Keahi asked, cupping her tea for warmth. “You guys must have some fun plans for your trip.”

“Oh, we’re going to have a great time,” Celeste answered. “Pascal and I haven’t been in so long. Regulus is going to take us to the Natural History Museum tomorrow, and if the sun decides to show up, we’ll go to Central Park to see the statues.”

“And the ducks!” Katie declared with a happy kick of her legs.

Marc nodded enthusiastically. “And if it’s cloudy, then Regulus is gonna take us ice skating in Brooklyn!”

“You skate?”

Regulus froze and felt Sirius stiffen next to him. He chewed the rest of his soup dumpling—if he had needed any more reasons to hate his parents, never bringing dumplings into the house would be near the top of the list—and swallowed hard, uncaring of how the inside burned his tongue. “A little, yeah,” he said after a beat too long of silence. “Yeah, no, it’s big in Montreal. Sirius and I both grew up with it.”

“I hate to say it, but I think we’re the worst people to talk about ice skating with,” Mrs. Keahi laughed, though Regulus caught the curious glance she sent their direction. Fuck.

“It’s an even trade,” Dumo assured her. “You’re a champion surfer, and I can barely get through a lap in the pool!”

That brought a rousing laugh from the whole table and Regulus sent a silent prayer of thanks to the series of events that brought Dumo into his life. He may have been a fantastic liar back home, but a few months of decency had made his skills rusty. “You know,” Mr. Keahi said thoughtfully. “We were going to be in Brooklyn tomorrow anyway. Why don’t we meet up, let the kids have a break from the hovering and skate around for a bit? I’ve been dying to check out an old record shop over there.”

“I guess this is my chance to learn from the best,” Jax joked.

“Oh, we’re hardly the best,” Sirius chuckled, as if he didn’t have a dozen trophies and a Stanley Cup ring waiting at home.

Regulus’ heart hammered in his chest and he covered his minor panic by shoving another dumpling in his mouth. You haven’t skated in months. They don’t follow hockey. They won’t suspect a thing. Sirius can lie about the color of the sky if he puts his mind to it. “Ouais, that sounds like a lot of fun,” he forced out. “Especially if we’re keeping eyes on the monsters, eh?”

“I’m fourteen,” Adele reminded him, though there was no real heat behind it.

“Even better, then we outnumber them by one.”

That drew a pleased smile from her and Regulus internally congratulated himself for the save. Now, he just had to figure out how to be bad at the only thing he had ever been good at.

----------------

To put it succinctly, he failed. The rest of the day had gone smooth as butter—the two families parted ways after lunch and Regulus let himself sink back into the easy comfort of his home self, sticking close to Sirius’ side and letting the kids use him as a jungle gym while they wandered the city and Dumo regaled them with tales of the Rangers. It was hard to say goodbye after dinner, even knowing that they would be together again in a mere 12 hours; Jax was already out cold by the time he returned to their dorm.

Regulus didn’t fall asleep until nearly one in the morning. Every time he closed his eyes, he imagined he could hear the scrape of his skates on fresh ice, feel the buzz of a perfect slapshot, taste the bitter adrenaline that had ruled his life before melting away because of a single choice to ask for help. He didn’t regret it. Most of the time.

Regulus Black, NHL Dropout.

Sirius Black’s Younger Brother, Slated to Leave NHL After One Season.

Snakes Rookie Regulus Black Burnt Out Already?

When Will Regulus Black Return?

NHL to College: Most People Do the Opposite. See Page Six for More.

He woke, and laid hands on his skates for the first time since he arrived at the university. If Jax noticed his sullen mood, they didn’t say a thing all morning, once again reminding Regulus how lucky he was to have someone like that in his life. But it would be an hour-long subway ride to reach Brooklyn and Jax only had so much patience when their friends were upset.

“Hey, Reg?” There it is. Regulus slipped his headphones around his neck and mustered a slight smile. The furrow on Jax’s brow deepened. “You know you don’t have to skate if you don’t want to, right? My dad just wants to get to know your parents better, and my asthma really can’t handle those old shops.”

“I know, Jax.” And you barely know me. “I skated for a really long time and it was kind of rough when I stopped, so I…” He trailed off with half a shrug. “I don’t know. I miss it, but it’s hard, you know?”

“If you want to go get hot cocoa instead, that’s—”

“I want to skate,” Regulus interrupted gently. That wasn’t a lie of any kind; it was, perhaps, the most honest thing he had said to Jax all day. He was glad their subway car was mostly empty. “My parents thought I was going to be a hockey prodigy and it didn’t work out, that’s all. But I promise I’m excited. It’s more fun when it’s on my terms.”

Jax eyed him, a little wary. “You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay.” The tension between them lifted. “Alright, cool. Are you going to teach me all sorts of hockey tricks, now?”

What, you mean the ones I won awards for? “I didn’t bring a stick, so no,” Regulus said dryly. “But if you can figure out the basics, I’ll show you how to skate backwards.”

“Sick.”

They stepped off at the next stop and headed out into the chilly air—it was cold for early fall. If Gryffindor’s weather was anything like this, Leo would be suffering. Good thing he’s got his boys to keep him warm, Regulus thought as they wove through the crowds of tourists. He could see Sirius and the kids just ahead, huddled up in a flock while Louis antagonized Adele.

“Arrête ça—hey, you two, good trip?” Sirius straightened up with a cheerful smile and yanked the front of Regulus’ hat down over his eyes in greeting.

“Nice and easy,” Jax laughed. “Damn, did everyone but me bring skates?”

“French-Canadian,” Sirius said by way of explanation, sounding almost apologetic as he held up their bag. “It’s in our blood.”

“Yeah, Reg mentioned he used to play. Did you?”

“Oh, yeah, hockey was our whole childhood.” Sirius was still smiling, still calm and big-brotherly, but he caught Regulus’ arm as they headed into the rink area and lowered his voice to a barely-there whisper. “How much?”

“Just that I skated for a while and our parents wanted me to do pro hockey,” he murmured while Katie begged Jax to play tag with her when they were on the ice.

Sirius nodded. “D’accord. Hey, Jax, don’t worry about getting skates. What’s your shoe size?”

And just like that, the bump smoothed over. Regulus helped Marc and Louis get their laces to the perfect tightness—which only he or Sirius could achieve, apparently—before sitting next to Jax as Katie gave them careful instructions. “Papa does a loop around my ankle,” she explained, either oblivious or uncaring about Jax’s increasing confusion. “It’s okay, though, you’re doing your best. Regulus said you have another roommate. Is that true?”

“Sure is, Peaches,” Jax said as they fumbled to get her laces around the little hook. Regulus couldn’t blame them; little-kid skates were impossible in every way. “His name is Kris, and he’s very nice.”

“Papa has a friend named Kris. Where’s your Kris?”

“He’s at home in Boston right now with his mom, but he’ll be back on Monday.”

Regulus pulled his skates out as they chatted, running his hands over the peeling plastic of the ankles and the frayed laces, gray instead of white from so much use. He had thrown out his Snakes skates the second he was free after some serious contemplation not to set them on fire in Sirius’ backyard, leaving him with the set he had owned since before he joined. His ‘practice’ pair, his father had called them. They had been a birthday gift from Sirius—dark blue and unassuming without a single speck of green.

Regulus didn’t know what he had expected when he slipped the boot on and it fit perfectly, bracing his foot with familiar pressure and support. He felt his back straighten and his shoulders square up; the lack of pads made him feel too light, suddenly. Hockey was life, but it had felt so heavy that last year.

Part of him wondered if he would remember how to put them on after so much time away. The laces looked foreign in his hands, even as he wrapped them around his fingers to tighten them on muscle memory. There was the cushion around his ankle—there was the shift of his foot finding its proper spot. He gripped the edges of the bench with a slow exhale and left the blade protectors on. Just a moment longer, he begged. Keep me on solid ground for one more minute.

“Regulus, I’m ready!” Katie said, shuffling up to his side with a beaming smile. “Sirius has gotta help Jax get their skates on, but can we go?”

“I’m out of practice,” Regulus warned playfully with a tickle to her sides. “I might fall down.”

“Non, non, you’re the best!”

“D’accord,” he groaned, hauling himself upright. Time’s up. The protectors came off and he took Katie’s hand; he could feel Sirius watching him and studiously ignored it. “Viens ici, petite.”

He made it all the way to the boards before he had to stop and let go of her hand with some vague excuse as his stomach began to tremble and his knees wobbled. Katie scampered ahead and slipped out onto the ice like she had been born for it, chasing after her siblings with ease. He remembered that feeling. Icy air on his face and in his lungs, a burn in his legs and invincibility in his veins. Sirius could take a hit from the biggest guy out there and keep blazing toward the goal, but the big guys had never been able to catch Regulus.

He took a sharp breath in and stepped onto the ice.

He didn’t fall.

The frozen ball in his chest cracked, then began to thaw, lightening with each push of his legs. Regulus gathered speed and let his momentum take over; he was unburdened by pads or a score or horrible teammates. He trusted his skates to carry him forward, and they slid over the choppy ice like pure silk. And God, did it feel good.

So good he couldn’t help but laugh when he caught Sirius’ eye across the rink, pushing off hard to snow him as he stepped out as well with Jax close behind. “You left your roommate, fucker!” Sirius called in French.

“Can’t hear you, I’m skating!” Regulus answered with a wild grin. He went backwards a few feet before completing a wide loop with the rest of the thin crowd, those few people crazy enough to skate in October when the ice had a 50/50 chance of melting under surprise bursts of autumn sun. He was strong and tall again. He had hated the press, but he could still hear the crowd screaming his name if he concentrated hard enough. Most of the Snakes were undeserving of a city that loyal to their team. They only saw the fame, never the appreciation. Never the deep and abiding pride Slytherin had in supporting their own. They had wanted him, had loved him, like nobody ever had before.

“You said you were bad at this!” Jax accused as they clambered along the boards on shaky ankles. Adele, ever the exasperated eldest child, skated next to them with an offered elbow in case of emergency.

“Your knees are bending inward,” Regulus pointed out by way of an answer. “Straighten your back up, and clench your buttcheeks. You’ll be more stable.”

Jax narrowed their eyes. “How long exactly have you been skating?”

A laugh bubbled out against Regulus’ will. He forgot how boring School Regulus was. “Every day for fourteen years, mon ami.”

He left Jax’s spluttering in the dust and made a beeline for Sirius, digging his blades in to build up that extra force before dropping a light check to his shoulder. “Are you having fun?” Sirius asked in clear amusement. “I think Jax is plotting your murder already.”

Regulus stopped hard and pushed off again, sliding straight into Sirius’ arms for a hug that winded them both for a moment. “Thank you,” he said into the scratchy fabric of Sirius’ coat. For this, and for everything.

He felt him sigh. “It’s good to see you this happy again. It’s good to see you, Reg.”

“I love hockey. I miss it.” Every day, and twice as much when I watch a game. He drew back from Sirius with one final squeeze of his ribcage, tucking his hands into his pockets. He felt more balanced on the ice than he ever did on solid ground. Louis and Marc flew by in a blur; Katie had joined Adele in coaxing Jax off the wall, and Sirius was still watching him with that funny mix of wanting to say something but knowing he should shut his big mouth and let Regulus talk. Regulus knocked the toes of their skates together. “This is better.”

#regulus black #sirius black #pascal dumais #celeste dumais #dumais kids #adele #katie #marc #louis #my fic #fanfic #sweater weather #vaincre #jax keahi #parent weekend #lumosinlove #fluff #skating

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