#jarty anon

[honeybcj]

hi han! jarty anon has returned after a long absence bcs exams n two different performances ongoing

i sent an ask a week ago but it just didn't send n i can't remember it so please take some filthy james and barty as an apology :3

okay so. hear me out. criminal james and drug dealer barty. thus.... violent depraved sex, and gun kink. james does a job one day and is super stressed so he seeks out local legend dealer, known as Bat. he's expecting some hobo in a dumpster, like fifty years old and decrepit, but instead it's the most jaw-droppingly hot dangerous twentysomething man and james is. drooling. so he forks over some bills, gets weed, but then decides to be a menace and whips out a gun when bartys turned and levels it with his head. instead of barty freaking the fuck out, like james expects, he instead says, was waiting for you to pull something, babe-- almost thought you'd be too pussy, but you don't disappoint, Sun. And james, being the intelligent fellow he is, only hears his codename. you heard of me? james grins. barty turns and smirks, gun in between his eyebrows, and james is starting to get hard because it takes a certain kind of batshit to look that hot with a pistol in your face and barty is definitely hot. b takes james pause to rip the gun away, punch him in the face, and shove james violently against a wall by his throat. j is depraved and actually enjoys this, and returns by pulling b close and biting his neck hard, and barty moans. james ascends, just a little bit, and barty returns the favor by biting at james' lips, harsh and demanding. they end up making out, more blood and teeth than lips, lost in an unvoiced competition of who can damage more. it goes on for a while, and then barty kicks james' knees out from under him, trapping him against the wall. james is actually salivating at the idea of sucking his cock, frothing at the mouth, but barty doesn't let him; instead, he takes the discarded gun and rests the barrel on james' lips, commanding him to suck. james grins, gleeful, and takes the whole fucking pistol into his mouth in one go, making the most intentionally obscene noises known to man. barty is having too much fun, and starts mercilessly fucking james' mouth with his own gun; the pace is so quick that the corners of james' lips tear, tracing saliva and thin coppery blood across the surface of the pistol. eventually, barty pulls the gun out, only to smear the spit-blood-maybe-tears mixture across his dick, going right back to fucking james's face. j looks ruined, and barty is having the time of his fucking life-- he comes minutes later, telling james to not swallow, and he pulls j back up so they can make out some more but now they're not just exchanging blood, there's come too, and it's sinful and downright disgusting and they love every second.

james still hasn't come yet-- he ends up getting off by humping barty's thigh, frantically, as barty bites his nipples through his shirt. after, they smoke james' long forgotten weed and exchange phone numbers, barty with a promise that next time won't be so gentle, james grinning and saying oh i'm suuure.

have a good day han !! ;3 got a bit carried away lol

due to unforeseen circumstances, it appears that han is very much unwell and will not be able to participate in society for the next 10 business days while they recuperate and bind this into their version of the holy bible.

but for real, i’m actually obsessed with this so unbelievably much. you have no idea how bad i want one of these fuckers to make to other suck off a gun. and that is the whole vibe i get. this is jarty. it is the holy text. it deserves to be framed and read out loud each and every morning before you start your day.

i can’t even add anything to this because i’m so stunned and it’s absolutely exquisite just the way it is. a round of applause for jarty anon (oh how i’ve missed you. i hope all your exams went well and that you have some time to relax now and do whatever makes your little heart happy. smooching you so hard my beloved!!!!!)

[sommerregenjuniluft]

Barty and james eating reg out at the same time

i’m. okay yes hello nonny you’re onto something there fjkdkd like just full on tongues out, skulls knocking as they try to wedge their heads between regulus’ thighs like i hope bro is flexible because on the left barty is pressing that leg into the mattress and then on the right james has it Hoisted over his shoulder all out of the way and oh god like their faces are so close they kind of start making out and oof pls i’m spiraling. also i’m So incorporating this into Little Death pt2. i need them both completely Slick with regulus, hell make him squirt over Both of them, evan is just stroking himself at the side and completely awestruck but then also he starts doubling over laughing because they are a MESS now and regulus just lays there all sweet, black dots in his vision, body Shiveringg wowwowow james starts licking reg’s cum off barty’s face and neck and that just makes Him horny and then barty is pulling them up right and their hip flush together and evan takes care of reg and ACTUALLY lemme pull out my doc real quick😭✍🏼

[itsjaywalkers]

Barty and james jerking each other off and they’re panting into each others mouth

you guys know i don't go here but . yes . i can actually see this scenario so very clearly . james and barty arguing, being so very mean to each other, james trying to avoid the whole thing escalating while barty keeps egging him on, always pressing the buttons that make james lose his shit. before he knows it, he's pushing barty against the wall, hands gripping the collar of his shirt while he tries to keep himself from punching that fucking smirk off his face. but then barty pushes their hips together, and james realises they're both painfully hard, and he sputters and tries to put some distance between their bodies, but barty cups him through his jeans before he can get far and continues to tease him but for very different reasons this time.. and well.. james is only a man..

a few minutes later, they have their jeans and boxers down to their mid-thighs as they jerk each other off, fast and hard and aggressive, to the point it feels almost painful, and trying to get the other to come first. they're flushed, and breathing unevenly into each other's mouths, and james is being SO loud, head constantly leaning forward against his will bc he wants to kiss barty soooo bad but he knows he'll never hear the end of it if he does

[murderoushagthesequel]

james/barty pls!!

ooo you got it [ask game]

i still kind of see it as a crack ship ngl but i do like them. i think their dynamic is hilarious and they're both such dramatic bitches in such different ways. the chaos is real.

at the moment i haven't seen much content on them but i could see myself liking them as a ship. idk who knows.

honestly i just thought of a pretty cool concept because i forgot about regupete and i was sitting here like who to pair regulus with if not james? and i just thought of past jegulus and past bartylus and james and barty know each other through regulus and then it's a funny little thing cuz it turns out regulus was aroace the whole time and then barty and james are just like.... this ex. i like him. i'm stealing him. and reg is just like yeah cool

anywayyyy thanks for the ask, anon, hope you're having a lovely morning/afternoon/evening/night lol

[fromagony]

Thoughts on rosekillerstarchaser?

*runs away*

I love them DEARLY anon

to me rosekiller and regulus happened first and rosekiller broke up and regulus was taking a break and one night jarty hooked up and evanreg found out and they fucked as a revenge but they realized they could all work this out together and bam they have a foursome it went on for hours and one by one everybody got to taste the other

[thinkinaboutambris]

Can I get Tyrus headcannons but they all work at Walmart?

Most definitely! 

So Walmart is open 24/7 and the GHC is working at a supermarket. They deal with so many random customers including one they swear was Tom Holland in disguise. 

A few of their employees quit and leave to work at a bank so they find themselves at loose ends for a bit until TJ Kippen walks up and applies. As hes the only one to apply he gets the job. 

He and Cyrus are in charge of stocking shelves during the training phase and talk a lot. Sleepy!Cyrus + Sleepy!TJ = a lot of clumsy flirting and talking about frozen chicken. Buffy and Andi will often have to tell Cyrus that his shift was over 2 hours ago you can go home now and YOU ARE FLIRTING WITH TJ  STOP GO TO BED

Buffy and Andi are the moms of the store and very very tired managers. They want everyone to be happy working but the customers are jerks. So if anyone is rude to the new employees they will remove the employee and deal with the customer. Cyrus will also do this but prefers to comfort the employee instead. 

TJ has used items to flirt a l o t. Candy aisle? Cyrus nothing here is as sweet as you. Fruit section? We could make a great pear. It always ends in blushing Cyrus and TJ who is like “Please don’t think I’m being friendly I”M FLIRTING WITH YOU” 

Yes they are both disasters but the crush is mutual. 

Marty and Jonah have held multiple interventions for them and are ultimately what get them together. It turns out shoving someone in a closet who have feelings for each other does work. 

Their shifts are then scheduled around each other but that doesn’t stop them from visiting each other

TJ: Huh Mr. Goodman I can’t seem to find the light bulbs, can you keep lighting up my world and help me find the right aisle? *winks*              Buffy: You literally work here.                                                              Cyrus: Hush the man needs help *escorts TJ away who is snickering*

Basically they are very cute together and everyone acts sick of it even while they all get together. Buffy and Andi are revealed to have been married a year. Jonah and Marty continue to be oblivious to each other and eventually take managership after Andi and Buffy move away to Boston.

TJ and Cyrus have their names on the back room wall somewhere and both love having that little reminder. 

[thekarleffect]

It is crazy to me how different this fandom treated Jyrus compared to like any other ship

(After Cyrus said his crush on Jonah was over)

1. Like before and after the show ended myself and other jyrus shippers would get anon asks like "Jyrus isnt going to be canon stop shipping it" or "Jyrus was never canon stop shipping it" but do you wanna know how many times I have heard someone say "this ship isnt going to be canon stop shipping it" or "this ship was never canon stop shipping it" to someone that ships ambi? 0 bandi? 0 Juffy? 0 Wonah? 0 Tonah? Jarty? 0 any other non canon ship you can possibly think of? 0 but jyrus had like at least 6

2. I could say "I ship Tj and Marty" or any other ship and I would get people going like "oh okay" but I say i ship Jyrus and people are all like "oh but you do know that jyrus wont be canon? Like it wont ever be canon you should know it wont be canon ever it's just platonic"

3. Cyrus said his crush on Jonah is over and immediately this fandom was like "even If the show goes on for 40 seasons jonah and cyrus can never be canon ever" yet I guarantee that if tyrus didn't get together in the s3 finale, and we got a s4 if on the second episode of season 4 TJ could say "I used to have a crush on Cyrus but not anymore" I would of see 300 different here is 20 different ways that TJ and Cyrus could be canon next episode"

5. Someone could say "I ship Ambi" is it romantic? Is it platonic? They don't feel the need to say, same person could say "I ship Juffy" is it romantic? Is it platonic? No need to say, but the same person says "I ship Jyrus" and it's all "platonically of course oh so very platonic, did I mention how platonic it is, cause I see it as super platonic, just platonic"

6.i have seen multiple posts where it's like "imagine shipping Jyrus, Ew" or "ew people still like Jyrus?" Never saw anyone say that about any other ship

7. Someone made a "I ship Jyrus now" post as a April fool's prank no one ever did it to any other ship and the reactions are as if he admitted to some horrible crime like "OMG NO WAY, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE, PLEASE!"

8. Some people in the fandom go out of their act like Jonah is some toxic person who like hates Cyrus, when he didn't do anything bad towards Cyrus

9. If let's say for example Libby and Andi went to the watch a movie at the movie theater together I would of seen "Aww how sweet and romantic I kinda ship them" posts but when Jyrus went to the movies alone its "oh what nice friends, absolutely nothing romantic here"

If buffy and Amber went to a restaurant alone and had a meal, the whole fandom would be all "I kinda ship them, that scene was super romantic and sweet" but if Jonah and Cyrus instead went to the same restaurant and did 100% the EXACT same things like no difference at all, this fandom would be all "oh what nice friends, nothing more, just friends"

10. People say "Jonah and Cyrus being canon is unrealistic as Jonah was Cyrus' first crush but as far as we know Jonah was Andi's first crush and was Amber's first crush and libby's first crush, and they got together, Buffy was Walker and Marty's first crush and Walker or Marty was Buffy's first crush Cyrus was iris' first crush, Marty was Rachel's first crush Bex and Bowie were each others first crush and they all got together and no one ever said it would be unrealistic for any of those couples to get together

[sodrippy]

hi val's jopping anon i love ur work! :) for your consideration: the jenga bus is coming and everybody's jumping..... we like to jarty we like to jarty

JENGABOYS YESSSSSS, MIND<3

[honeybcj]

hi han!! jarty anon back at it again.. exams went really well, i'm now officially a 4.0 gpa academic weapon :3

you mentioned a while back wanting to put james n barty in a jar. well. i present you this 7 minutes in heaven thingy! (omg fic ish format?!)

alcohol, dim lights, the haziness of nicotine. there was a house party at someone's place, barty can't remember whose; it doesn't matter. what he can remember is that somehow, the assorted hogwarts grads ended up playing truth or dare. remus was apparently everyone's first kiss, and the person who dyed reg's hair pink in sixth year was lily fucking evans (who is definitely more scary than people give her credit for). it's marlene's turn, and they must be feeling particularly vicious (or particularly drunk) because she dares barty to do seven minutes in heaven with james potter, of all people. though his nickname is bat, barty isn't blind: he's seen james, the man is hot. he may have even starred in some quidditch-flavoured jerk off sessions in sixth year; maybe even beyond that. besides that, though, barty hates the guy: quidditch captain for three years, head boy, notorious prankster, joyous sunshiny pretentious fucking asshole with his pretentious fucking toned thighs. he was a dick to slytherins especially, until sixth year (and remus) kicked some sense into his thick skull and he realised the snakes were also people. okay. well. bad wording aside, barty was still firmly against the idea of anything to do with james potter. this train of thought got him all the way through the "fuck no, mckinnon", the "what, crouch, too fuckin' pussy to glare at potter for seven minutes? scared you'll like it?" and the subsequent walk to the closet with 'golden boy' in tow. barty opened the door, ushering james forward, vitriolic saccharine voice saying "you first, princess". james does a little bow, reveals a middle finger, and salutes him. "thanks, servant." his voice is surprisingly raspy. "what, golden boy taken up smoking?" barty shuts the door, flicks the latch. potter looks-- hungrily? at the lock, then at barty's face. "sometimes," an easy shrug, "though i bet you could make me raspier." barty raises his eyebrows. potter, making advances? "you offering to suck my cock?" potter laughs; barty's tangled, high brain thinks it's whorish. "you'd have to earn it, crouch." fuck it. "okay!" he swings a punch. potter's fucking quidditch reflexes let him block it, and barty yelps as lush brown fingers dig nails into his arm. james rocks forwards to slam his head against barty's, and ouch, okay, hardheadedness can also be lethal. barty wrenches his arm out of james' grasp, shoving james against the wall of the closet, relishing in the sharp breath that cracks through the air. barty's forearm finds its way to james' throat, and their lips almost touch as he whispers, "how about now?" he's way too drunk to even guess at what's happening, what's going to happen, just hopes it ends with james' mouth around his dick. said man snarls, scraping his teeth against barty's, and then they're-- kissing? no, not quite; there's a bit too much blood and hate for it to be a kiss, and barty's pretty sure his arm is still cutting off some of james' air supply. bloody mash of lips and tongue is probably a better descriptor, not that he cares when james fucking potter is swiping his tongue across the roof of barty's mouth. canines poke into james' top lip and oh, holy fucking christ, the noise james makes leaves barty lightheaded, breath punched out pathetically and blood gone firmly south. the corners of james' lips turn upward and fucking hell, the sky bastard thinks he's won or something, just because barty's a bit dazed. fuck him. barty takes james by the shoulders and shoves him down, adding a kick to the knees for good measure. james fucking growls, but instead of trying to stand back up or bite barty or literally any other thing, he shoves his face into barty's tented crotch and fucking nuzzles his dick. barty's belt is gone, fly down, and james is pulling his cock through the slit in his boxers before barty is actually aware of what's going on again. his hand lands on james' mop of curls, fisting tight, and he shoves his dick into james' waiting, lightly bloody mouth. he fucks into james with abandon, his mouth tight and hot around barty. oh fuck--

james starts working his tongue and he is gone. he comes in less than two minutes, which is embarrassing, frankly, but not quite as bad as james humping the purple and blue lacing of barty's docs, a severe wet spot on the front of his pants. it's just it time, too, because then marlene is knocking on the door and he can hear sirius screaming in the next room and oh yeah. they probably weren't very quiet, what with banging and moaning and james potter sucking barty crouch jr's cock. james stands up, jerks barty once in a rough, calloused hand, and smirks. "try again sometime?" barty scoffs. "as fucking if, potter. where'd you fucking learn that, you secretly a whore?" james puts barty's dick back into his pants, does up the fly. leans closer. "come find out, in about an hour. hallway, third door on the left," and oh right, it's fucking potter's house they're at, isn't it. and then marlene properly bashes the door, and barty nods at james, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "thanks, babe," james says, and walks back out to the living room. his voice is raspier, fucking bastard. barty follows.

(reg n evs judge him so hard. side eyes and eyebrows and and and and. merciless teasing for months. the sex with james in his bedroom is more violent and also better in all ways, though it lacks the presence of old classmates to piss off and traumatize. sirius throws a fit. no one is surprised.)

anywhoooooo ty!! much much much longer read than usual, and i'm a lengthy ask anon even without fic format. thoughts? (my fingers got tired and i couldn't bear to do another ten lines of james humping barty's shoes but u get the idea)

jarty anon i’m kissing u on the mouth. with tongue. pissed off barty and arrogant james potter………. “though i bet you could make me raspier” WELL JAMES WHY DON’T YOU JUST SAY YOU WANT TO SUCK BARTY’S COCK LIKE IT’S YOUR GODDAMN JOB. oh they are so sloppy and filthy i want to make them kiss again. more blood. please. they need it. fucking starved for it.

OH GOD THE CONDESCENDING PET NAMES. they chokehold they have me in…….. i’m panting like a damn dog. i keep rereading this over and over. your brain is where i want me home to be. BARTY CALLING JAMES PRINCESS YEAH YOU WANT A PIECE OF HIS THIGHS JUST FUCKIN SAY IT BARTY. (or don’t because i’m here for the tension and extreme “hate” fucking)

for the love of god let james potter get off on barty’s docs please i’m begging you. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. oh i want james so pathetic all whining and moaning as he humps barty’s shoe. i’m sweating babe, so bad.

“you secretly a whore?” babe yeah james fleamont potter is a little bit of a whore. let him be a little bit of a whore i’m begging. i want him drooling and sobbing for relief and barty to feel absolutely no mercy about it. LET BARTY DICK JAMES DOWN OKAY?????!

violent fucking jarty? where would i be without them……….this is surreal. heaven really is a place on earth when jarty anon is in han’s asks. i could keel over right now and i would leave this earth feeling fulfilled.

(PS: so fucking proud of you for all the hard work you put into exams!!! you did That!!!! hoping you have some time to relax and enjoy yourself now that they are over. i’ve been cheering you on from the sidelines my dearest)

[honeybcj]

jarty anon has returned :3

so. i was reading the most recent beautiful asks and thought... evan/barty tops and james potter bottom. (this is more on the waist beads scenario btw)

james has taken to wearing waist beads all. the. fucking. time. and it is driving barty insane, and evan is getting all of bartys complains about how "he's wearing waist beads, evs, what the fuck am i meant to do? just go on about my day without thinking about fucking him? his hips, oh my fuck, they could cut glass..." and evan is Sick Of His Shit (and horny), so he hears "hips" and "fuck" in the same sentence and grabs barty, yanking him down to eye level, and says "you need some help tiring him out?" (barty immediately sports a semi). they make it through the rest of the day (barely) and b pulls james aside after dinner, tells him to meet in his room at midnight.

james is horny as fuck. he's been sitting in his room for hours and it's just a stupid fucking comment from barty crouch junior but his head is running through all the possible scenarios and he still hasn't taken the waist beads off. at 11:59, barty knocks on his door and he scrambles to open it, and in come b and evan. james looks like a mess, cheeks flushed and hard and on the verge of whimpering from the wait. b asks "evans joining us. that cool?" and james is out of his mind and just nods, pupils dilating. evan walks forward, grabs the back of james' neck, and throws him onto the bed, and barty does that same rip-the-beads-off trick that had gotten this whole thing started, tying james' hands together with the string while evan removed his shirt. barty is taking off james' pants and harshly kissing the insides of his thighs and evan is just.. watching. waiting. james forgets about him, whining at barty to just move up a bit, boxers scratching terribly against his dick, and then evan moves in. he bites james' nipple, hard, and james arches clean off the bed, knocking barty aside. b holds his hips down and nips his thighs while evan meticulously goes after james' nipples, til they're red and sore and so, so pretty; ev undresses a bit, telling barty to open james up, so b starts eating him out and james just moans, loud and whorish. evan moves to suck bruises into james' chest, neck, and collarbones, making him sting all over before licking back across the marks, and all the while barty is devouring james like it's the last thing he'll ever eat. evan rolls off from where he's straddling james and puts on his strap, and james is salivating and begging evan or barty to fuck him, "please, please god just-- fuck-- ah," and then evan pushes just the tip in and james is gone, whimpering, pleading evan to push in further. barty whispers to him that he needs to learn patience (some other time i will in fact write edging), and then evan slams in and starts railing james, the bed slamming against the wall with every forceful thrust. james screams, and barty starts making out with him, teasing his cock ever so lightly and stopping when james begs for more. james can't touch himself because of the beads, which are now leaving indents in his wrists, and finally he comes untouched, evan pulling out and jerking off barty.

(after all that, they untie james, take a shower all together, and collapse in the bed. sirius finds them the next afternoon when he shows up at james' place, shrieks + whacks them with pillows, and lovingly calls james a whore. evan joins them some more in the future, because james came so hard he blacked out and needed to get more, and it could turn into evan/james/barty or could be platonic idk)

um anyways

it's significantly less kinky but i'm currently thinking up a knifeplay one for james and evan and a transmasc james thingy soooo

my beloved nonnie hello <3 first of all, good morning to me. this…today is going to be a good day. i just know it because what i’ve just read is actually brilliant. i am in awe with your brain. especially because bottom james <3 let james get fucked more please and thank you. and the barty/evan dynamic with james??? oh that’s exquisite. look, i just need more whining, whimpering, panting, sobbing, sloppy, ruined james. i need to see all his walls come down and be fucked until he can’t think straight. like yes i’m so glad it’s barty and evan fucking him senseless. i talk a lot about james’ oral fixation and his love for giving head, but my barty loves giving head just as much, so when barty is eating out james…….it’s like the perfect reward for james because he deserves to feel just as good as he makes other people feel. and evan leaving all the marks and bruises rahhhhh that set something off inside more, way more than i thought. like james has no idea what he’s done to deserve both of them touching him at the same time, but he is definitely not opposed, and evan is more than happy to help out, especially when he sees everything that barty has been going on and on about. i feel like there isn’t much more that i can add to this because, just know, it’s stunning. i adore it. i love your brain. you’re doing things for me. changing lives one day at a time. i just—i can’t get over the waist beads on james like that fucker knows exactly what he’s doing. because me too barty i wouldn’t be able to take it for a second. i’d be snapping and bitching to evan about every little thing about james. i’d be perpetually light headed. but i’m also screaming about sirius showing up the next day like “what the fuck” ahhhh that is so funny to me because he’s just like “james what are you doing???” but james is all sheepish about it, going red in the cheeks as all the memories from the night before come flooding back. more evan in the future? sign me up.

jarty anon, you are doing great things for this world and for me. your mind is a beautiful place. i feel honored to get to see a sliver of your thoughts. have the most gorgeous day ever mwah mwah mwah! <3

[honeybcj]

omg han i have a tag now?! *explodes*

anywho..... it's the jarty anon and i've been on a roll with these + am obsessed with tattoo aus so here's a long (much more nsfw) one

masochist james and tattoo artist barty. aka james comes in at some ungodly hour of the night for his first tattoo, a sun on his left hipbone, and it's been a long day so barty is like, damn. this guys hot. james is a bit of an asshole, and barty's dwindling professionalism is taking so much because how dare this gorgeous man come in the middle of the night asking for a painful tattoo and proceed to be rude to me (it's hot). fast forward and james has unbuttoned his (very tight) pants, laying on the table and bartys starting on the edges of the outline, on the less painful sections. then b hits the bone dead on, and instead of hearing james yelp or tell him to "slow down, you dick, that hurt" like he had earlier, he moans. so barty drags the needle over the spot again, and james fucking whines and they're both so turned on. barty finishes the tattoo as quick as possible because he cannot fuck this up from being horny, and james keeps letting out little groans every now and then.

they end up fucking once james' tattoo is wrapped, right there on the bench, and keep fucking around every time james comes in for a new tattoo. they end up dating, and a year or so down the line when they both know they're in it for the long run, barty fucks james hard and then, while still inside him, tattooes his bitemark on top/around the sun james had gotten the very first day. james is in heaven, and bartys having a hard time concentrating because jesus christ james clenches every time he hits a painful spot, and bartys dick is inside his ass, so they're both hanging on by a thread and when barty finishes the tattoo they go for another two rounds before wrapping it.

um. ....anywayssssss

YES OF COURSE YOU GET YOUR OWN TAG! you’re feeding me the most exquisite jarty thoughts……and i’m severely unwell. each time that i think the last one was the best, you go and pull THIS out? i feel like my brain’s been knocked out of my skull. i simply cannot add anything to this because this, too me, is the literal gospel. i will drink it down and include it in every thought and prayer of mine. masochist james……that is hot. insanely so. and barty being a tattoo artist and taking full advantage of it? hell fucking yeah. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again, your brain is unmatched. i’m kissing it so hard, you have no idea. i could pick apart your brain and be the happiest person ever. whatever you’ve got cooking in there, keep up the good work. you are literally doing the lord’s work by talking about these two. i want to put them in a jar and shake them up a little bit. endearingly of course.

like barty fucking james over his station??? oh he doesn’t give two fucks because james just looks so good and he’s so arrogant that it’s pissing barty off so obviously the only way he can move on is to fuck him……….surprise bitch you can’t get off that easily. you’re stuck with him now. not that he’s complaining because that masochist inside james does something unholy to barty’s entire being.

anyway i don’t know what i did to deserve the pleasure of these stunning asks, but i’m so beyond thankful because i’m eating them up! smooching your brain some more. you’re brilliant, nonnie <3

[honeybcj]

heyo its the most recent james/barty anon....i had a Thought that might interest you

james potter wears waist beads one day, so barty rips them off and ties his wrists together with them. and they leave red marks on james' torso from where they were torn, and barty kisses it better while james snarls at him so then b just Bites his torso, and then they fuck nasty. and then james wears waist beads whenever he needs barty to be Extra hard, and barty develops a pavlovian response to them

*insert picture of me staring at my phone with wide eyes and my jaw on the floor* look i adore jarty i do i do, but this has sent me to another level. this might be one of the greatest things i have ever read. i need this image tattooed behind my eyelids. whatever your brain is made of, i’d like a sliver of that. the craft is brilliant, and i have nothing else to add because this is utter perfection in my eyes. i could listen to you go on about them all day and i would never get bored. it would make me feel the most alive i’ve ever felt. you’re a genius. all hail jarty.

[honeybcj]

jarty anon where are you i have an idea……..(literally haven’t stopped thinking about your asks)

[itsjaywalkers]

WAIT A MIN U SHIP JARTY???? AHHHHHH 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

YES AND NO NONNIE i don't really like jarty bc i'm a firm believer of them hating each other in every universe. that's what makes their dynamic so fun!! to me!!

HOWEVER i make an exception sometimes.. bc i do enjoy how a few of my mutuals write them.. and also they just fit patrick and art incredibly well, i couldn't ignore it even if i wanted to, they're just perfect for a challengers au imo and i've been brainrotting a lil about them lately bc of it

[itsjaywalkers]

you could only imagine how degrading James and barty are to each other

OH ABSOLUTELY NONNIE and it's not even a kink thing (even tho they're both into it) they just . hate each other so much . they get straight up cruel and nasty, like, to the point in which it'd bring anyone else to tears. not them tho. that's just a normal tuesday for james and barty

[itsjaywalkers]

James walking in on Barty eating regulus out 😏

depending on the au this can go in a really fun way or . a very dangerous one . like either james gets a lil jealous but still decides to join, bickering with barty every step of the way, or he literally loses his shit. i obviously love the former option more, barty and james eating reg out together and ending up making out in the process, but also . i gotta be honest nonnie . and it's a matter of which fic we're talking about