#jared the it guy

[mduhgv-erbzlih]

tumblr finds jared (2023, colorized)

[disconnected-dragon]

Everyone, I am proud to report that happy meat farms arg fandom finally got our sexy man!

[mduhgverbzlih]

i think "JARED'S IT FILE!!" is really funny like did he write this whole thing thinking that someone would find it and think he's actually cool and popular and that it's definitely the real jared it file or what. he's like such a terrible liar, he's always saying these things and it's obvious that it's about how he feels on some level. i think. i'm not great at analysis but i am great about obsessing over jared warrenheim.

[someminecraftvillager]

Hmf jared in Roblox?

[angelvix2000]

Me hugging and comforting Jared (from happy meat farms) what I'm saying to him 1. I feel your pain I know it hurts 2. I'm sorry your mom abused you, you didn't deserve it. She's just a bad person and a bully who puts you down to make her feel better about herself. 3. Don't let her have power over you. You're better and stronger than her and you will rise above her I know it! She may not love you but I do and I'll always be here for you.

[wafflebloggies]

4. a place that remains unchanged

back - next They said you could never go home again.

Whoever had first said so, Antonio guessed their home probably hadn’t been the HR Department. On a site big enough to have two official zip codes, in a building big enough to require its own proprietary SatNav, in a zone within a zone within two smeary tempered-glass doors and past a number of warning symbols which most humans never got to see (certainly in combination) in the course of a normal and safe lifetime, Antonio’s first home was a tricky place to visit if you didn’t belong. Humans, with their dependence on things like light and a reliable source of breathable air and geometry that made logical sense, tended to struggle if they were left to wander around in it for too long. For which reason, and a whole host of others, they weren’t.

Humans had to keep records, and check biometrics, and make sure the people who were allowed in to the HR Department were people who really should be there. Antonio, who wasn’t a person, didn’t pay much attention to them. The few he met on his way to the Entry saw him coming, a big husky guy with a big friendly smile on his big friendly face, his neat-and-tidy black clothes and his serene ambling walk, as easy to stop as continental drift, and got out of his way about as fast as Mrs. Hernandez’s cat, with maybe a little less scrabbling on the squeaky tiled floors.

The eyes of the Entry raked over him, pinged green and let out a happy double-beep. The Entry hissed open, slow and sticky, both doors juddering crankily, and Antonio headed inside, nearly bumping into a couple of late personnel who were heading for decon, gas-masked and goggled and crinkling along in their grubby bluesuits. He smiled at them as he passed and left them behind, disappearing into the dingy clutter that filled the rooms beyond.

“Creepy fucker.”

“Shh!”

Most of the outer layers of the HR Department existed in a state of permanent nomadic flux. The humans who had work to do here did it anywhere they could, camping in odd corners and places they felt relatively safe, the equipment they brought with them hastily unpacked and shoved wherever there was space. Antonio passed benches scattered with discarded racks of tubes and petri dishes, overturned chairs, mini-fridges leaking melted goop, X-rays pinned crookedly to the walls with peeling tape, and multiple empty boardrooms where meetings seemed to have broken up in an emergency, or never ended up starting at all.

Inner, deeper. Through the screaming halls, the hair room, half an acre of blackened paisley carpet, through a minor plumbing problem which turned the tiled floor into an endless greenish lake, Antonio splashed on, humming a peppy little tune in his light, pleasant tenor. Certain things, hungry in the dark, heard him coming- cracked doors- twitched ceiling tiles- saw him and thought better of it. Other things sensed him coming a long way off and cleared the path in a hurry, shrinking from his shadow.

Antonio still remembered being new, and how amazed he’d been that there was anything else in the world besides Mother's light. He remembered how dull and ashen dark the world had seemed at first, beyond its reach. He remembered having to grow used to the world outside, to slowly learn the contrast of nights and days, slowly begin to see the subtleties of sunlight and shade and colour the way humans did, with their five narrow senses.

He could, with some effort, see the HR Department the way humans saw it, too. He knew that to them it was mostly cold and damp, ghastly humid in strange thermal hotspots where the heat and wet had rotted wood and melted plaster and taken the paint right off the sweating black walls. He knew the air smelled and tasted generally like an old carpet that had been rolled up without being dried properly and then put in a garden shed for several years. He heard the weird noises in the darkness, and with a little imagination he recognized how worrying they might sound if you didn’t know whether they were cries of fear… or hunger.

And even though Antonio might have admitted that a small struggling part of him felt less settled than it usually did, and that the gloomy halls and noisome voids felt less comforting than, say, the last time he’d made the trip… well, it had been a while, and he believed- he wanted to believe- that a visit back here would put him right. In his heart, his bones, or whatever he had instead, he knew that he belonged. Here, so close to Mother that if he were to look fully with his true senses he would have been struck blind in an instant, if he needed the reassurance he could still open his real eyes just a very, very little tiny smidge of a fraction and see by the blazing glimmer all around him that he was home, walking in glory, in the heart of her light.

Inner, deeper still. Humans did not work here. They came here, when they had to, very carefully, very quickly. If they were lucky, and stuck to the many stringent safety protocols, most of them also managed to leave.

--

Down a long, lonely hallway, where some of the discoloured metal panels had shorn off of the wall and a lot of the rest were buckled outwards in wild hooping arcs as if the whole corridor had been subject to explosive decompression, Antonio and his cheery humming bopped along, a little echoey, his wet black lace-ups leaving grey prints on the gritty floor. Overhead, so many of the tiles were missing that the ceiling looked like a maniac’s chess set, a crazy checkerboard barely hiding the steel skeleton above.

Antonio turned a corner and passed by yet another heavy, nameless steel sealer door, this one standing half-open on a lightless void. Not so many paces past, he slowed as an indefinable sensation of being seen squirrelled up his back with chilly fingers and crawled right to the top of his head. He turned, carefully, squinting into the dark.

As he stood still on the threshold of the heavy door, a single sharp point of red light appeared, flickering, much closer than he expected. As he backed up an instinctive step, the light stuttered, steadied, and circled into a ring- another- a third. Like an eerie triple sunrise, the trio of glowing red circles brightened and lifted together in a rough pyramid stack, until they loomed high over Antonio, bathing his upturned face with an eerie scarlet glow.

“Sup.”

“Oh… hey, Jared,” said Antonio, unenthusiastically. “How’s it going?”

“Eh, yunno.” It was a smooth lazy breeze of a voice, supremely unbothered, underscored by a faint metallic twang. The lights of Jared’s three segmented eye-rings slid away into the shadows as he spoke, vanished entirely, then whipped back into view like a pendulum, upside-down and swinging gently back and forth, right in front of Antonio's face.

“Haaaaanging in there.”

Antonio forced a laugh. “Man… good one. Well, anyways, I gotta be-”

“Antonio, right? How’s it been, jellybean?”

“Oh, great! You know, just tickin’ along, only I gotta-”

“Working hard? Or-” Clink-clink-clink-clink swishhhhhh, and the eyes reopened in quite another direction entirely, down near Antonio’s ankles in the mottled dark. “-Hardly working?”

You didn’t talk to Jared. It was a Rule. You didn’t talk to Jared, just like you didn’t keep secrets. Antonio looked desperately towards the far end of the corridor, seeking a polite escape, but the problem with the Rule about not talking to Jared was, it didn’t say anything about what to do if Jared tried to talk to you.

“Y’know, I’d love to stick around and chat, but I’ve actually got a thing-”

“Hey, shot in the dark- you don’t happen to have any jerky on you, do ya?”

“No, I-” Antonio paused, blinked. “What?”

“Yeah, not our brand, though. Between you and me...” the lights spiralled quickly up Antonio’s body, stopping by his ear, “...our stuff kinda tastes like old tennis shoes. Literally any other kind, like, Trader Joes, Red Truck... oh man, I saw Tillamook County’s doing these teriyaki-style wagyu strips now? I would literally kill to try that stuff. K-I-L-L. Though if you wanna be picky, it’s not technically a jerky, it’s more of a biltong. No? Oh, well, you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

“Sorry, man,” said Antonio, taking a couple of not-too-subtle steps backwards. “Uh, look, any other time I’d totally be down for a catch-up sesh, but I’ve really gotta jet.”

“Aw... well, okay.” Jared’s eyes drew back into the recess of the doorway, tilting in a mildly disappointed way. “Great job on the commercial, bee-tee-dubs. Little preachy, maybe... but I get it, I get it, you gotta stick to the pitch, right? Anyhoo, props, that was some solid work.”

“Hey, thanks,” said Antonio, and despite his pressing itch to be gone he was unable to keep the note of surprised gratitude out of his voice. Whether purely out of the discomfort of the situation, or the weird way he’d been feeling lately, or just because a simple, ordinary compliment was the last thing he’d expected and kind of a rare thing in itself, he was genuinely caught off guard. “Seriously, dude... thank you. That means a lot.”

“Anytime, Antoni-oni,” said Jared, now somewhere almost entirely out of sight that gave his voice a hollow, distant echo, like he was talking directly into a steel bucket. “Say hi to your little buddy for me.”

A final flicker, and the lights blipped into darkness.

“I’ll see you around…”

Antonio waited until he was pretty sure Jared was really gone, then turned and headed again down the long, pressure-scarred metal hall. It wasn’t really too long a trip from this point, and he padded along in silence.

He didn’t feel much like humming anymore.

–

After a few more corners, the hallway started to change and taper down through a narrow twist-and-turn, the walls crowding with grubby white ceramic pipes, like pale veins lining a long dry throat. As Antonio ducked under the last cracked angle of the ceiling, he found himself stepping out at last onto the debris-littered floor of a long, low, dim room, seemingly endless, full of slanting beams.

In this muffled, colourless space, heaped as it was with drifts and piles of grey dust, even the usual noises seemed far-off and stifled. Antonio picked his way carefully past bare recesses and empty hollows, under the watery grey light, over strange shapes buried beneath the thick dust, half-familiar, half-formless.

A door, one of many, sealed from the outside with a thick, crash-bar handle. Latched, in the same way you'd put a child-lock on a trashcan- not really for any reason of security, more so to stop any of the hungry and inquisitive things roaming these halls from getting in and making a mess with the contents. Some of the other doors here looked as if they could have been sealed tight-shut for a hundred years. Others hung open on tall little cells, like wax pockets in a comb; vacant nodes, nothing inside but bare concrete walls, indistinct shadows, eddies of dry grey dust.

A peeling bit of Dymotape that didn’t look too old clung to the smeary plate above this latch, carelessly applied, already coiling itself into a little spiral. Antonio reached out, smoothed it down flat with a thumb.

[G0008]

Antonio shot the latch, took a good deep breath, and pulled the heavy door wide open, already smiling his biggest, widest, friendliest smile.

“Hi, Mark.”

[aluminia]

Jared the It-Girl

[archive-of-the-incident]

******CW: ROBOT ASS UP******* **SUGGESTIVE**

I’M READY, PROMOTION! I’M READY, PROMOTION!!!

Will this get your attention, or????

https://www.instagram.com/p/CtFtbrZLums/?igshid=NjZiM2M3MzIxNA== (higher quality)

[queenoftheimps]

One thing I find interesting about The Terror's cult following is that, on the face of it, the audience that is attached to the show is not at all what I imagine people assumed when it was released.

Like, this a show specifically about history and the military/the navy, with a cast that is 95% white guys. Even with the horror elements, I kind of imagine AMC executives might've thought it would do well with the 'Dad' audience, or people who like stuff like Band of Brothers. (Tobias Menzies' latest show, Manhunt, is in this category, and I don't think it's entirely coincidental that he & Ciarán Hinds were also big main characters on HBO's Rome, something that also fits this niche.)

And instead, it seems like it was mainly embraced by a younger audience (something Jared Harris himself noticed), specifically one that's probably a lot more queer/non-masculine than might have been expected.

I'm sure there are people out there with much more astute analysis than me on why that is, but I wonder if a lot of it is simply down to tone. This isn't a show about the glory of the military or a patriotic mission, or even about men being noble/tough in the face of an ultimately tragic ending.

It's about how all that shit falls apart when it comes to push comes to shove, and how sometimes things that are framed as glorious are actually a pointless fucking tragedy on behalf of an empire that kept chugging right along without them. And the only thing to show for it is the bonds these people formed before they died.

[cold-boys-fandom-hub]

15 more behind the scenes photos from Christos Lawton!

[ardentpoop]

okie.

[mduhgv-erbzlih]

can anyone tell me what is going on in the third photo? i can't tell what's in it but it looks like there's a brain in the middle maybe. i've included some upscaled different versions if it helps.

it feels like one of those AI generated images where i can't identify anything but i don't think that's what it is. maybe i just need another pair of eyes on it and it's really obvious?? i can't tell, i've been trying to figure out what's going on in it for a while

source ^u^

additionally, the confusing image is called "modification3" with the eyes being "modification1" and the hands being "modification2"

[mxltifxnd0m]

must be love ❥ s.winchester

summary: social media/modern era au with stanford! sam winchester

pairings: established sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x fem! reader

warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slice of life, references to drinking, and one mention of sex

a/n: first social media au so please be nice to be loll. but this was fun to make! and who knows i might make more in the future 🤭

also happy b-day to jared padalecki our cancer king 😩🙌 (him being a cancer makes so much sense to me), and the user: dianhhboo is actually my friend to introduced me to spn and i wanted to add her in the fic 🤭

reblog and comment! i love to see your thoughts on my fics (even if this isn't technically a fic lol)

𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

yourusername

liked by jessymoore, samwinchester, and 1490 others

yourusername life lately <3

tagged: jessymoore, dianahhboo, samwinchester, deansbaby67 +3 more

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jessymoore we need to have more girls nights, finals are going to kill me ↳ yourusername 100% this paper might make me off myself ↳ dianhhboo remind me why i decided to major in psych 😭 ↳ jessymoore because we wanted free therapy after we graduated

deansbaby67 fyi i totally kicked your ass in cards ↳ yourusername mhm sure you did deanie you were totally not drunk off your ass the entire time ↳ deansbaby67 @ samwinchester sammy come and get your gf she's being mean to me ☹️ ↳ samwinchester not my problem 🤷‍♂️ ↳ deansbaby67 im never visiting you ever again

+ + +

samwinchester

liked by yourusername, dianhhboo, and 986 others

samwinchester study date for the LSATS with my love (we consumed so much coffee but she still fell asleep)

view all 532 comments

bradybunch dude i thought you said you wanted to study alone ↳ samwinchester your idea of studying is just having your work out and being on your phone ↳ bradybunch harsh... but fair

yourusername i was running on fumes and that book was really boring i couldn't help it ↳ samwinchester how much sleep did you get in the past week... ↳ yourusername ummm like 5 hours... ↳ samwinchester per night? ↳ yourusername ...the entire week ↳ samwinchester BABE!? that's it, you're not studying anymore, come to my dorm, we're going to bed ↳ yourusername 😏😏 ↳ samwinchester we're SLEEPING honey ↳ yourusername 😒

deansbaby67 nerds ↳ samwinchester really dean? ↳ deansbaby67 just calling it how i see it ↳ samwinchester whatever 🙄

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yourusername

liked by deansbaby67, winchestermary, and 1567 others

yourusername guys i love my bf 🥰🥰

tagged: samwinchester

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deansbaby67 barf 🤢 this is not what i wanted to see first thing in the morning ↳ yourusername sorry mr. one night stands ↳ deansbaby67 are you slut shaming me? ↳ yourusername ofc i am 😍

samwinchester i love you too but why those photos 😭 ↳ yourusername why not? i need to show the ppl my smoking hot and sweet boyfriend 😘

jessymoore youre cheating on me?! im leaving and taking the kids ↳ yourusername WAIT NO BABE HE MEANS NOTHING I SWEAR DONT TAKE THE KIDS ↳ jessymoore too late the papers are on your desk ↳ deansbaby67 wth did i just read?

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samwinchester

liked by dianhhboo, bradybrunch, and 1053 others

samwinchester love you my silly girl ❤️

tagged: yourusername

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dianhhboo you guys are disgustingly cute ↳ jessymoore right? like please we get it you're in love

yourusername ive trained you well in taking candids 🤭 also when did you take those photos? ↳ samwinchester a magician never reveals his secrets 🤫 ↳ yourusername you're a dork ↳ samwinchester ah but you love this dork ↳ yourusername unfortunately ↳ samwinchester UNFORTUNATELY??

yourusername im kidding i love you sammy ❤️ ↳ samwinchester i love you too i guess ↳ yourusername oh great ive triggered sassy sammy

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yourusername

liked by jessymoore, bradybunch and 1267 others

yourusername officially moved in with sammy 💛

tagged: samwinchester

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deansbaby67 uhh at least tag me for helping you two dweebs move in? ↳ yourusername sorry 🙄

yourusername add'l creds to @ deansbaby67 bc he's a big baby ↳ deansbaby67 thank you future sister-in-law ↳ yourusername @ samwinchester 🤨🤨 wanna explain? ↳ samwinchester @ yourusername not really

winchestersmary congrats on moving in you two! i hope to see you soon ↳ yourusername aah thank you mary we'll be visiting for christmas 😁

samwinchester i love you baby ↳ yourusername love you more sammy ↳ samwinchester impossible

[mduhgverbzlih]

jared’s cyborg eyes look kinda like ball bearings. which is also what the inside of a fidget spinner looks like. and he also has three cyborg eyes like how a normal fidget spinner has 3 arms. jared fidget spinner

[someminecraftvillager]

HEHEHEH THÉ STUPID JARED I DREW AT THE END-

oki i got really lazy with this one

please don’t hate on me for this but, Jared (I think) design by @fictional-men-enthusiast

[angelvix2000]

9 months later I gave birth to me and Jared's baby girl Jupiter. I named her that so she knows she's among the stars.