#japril appreciation week

[austennerdita2533]

Hi Ashlee!!! I hope you're doing well. I'm appealing to your brilliant mind for help with character analysis :) I want to write a japril fic but realize I'm struggling in part because imo Jackson has such an undefined and often inconsistently written personality? Like for seasons he's presented as too detached and remote and retreats whenever things get tough, but then a few seasons ago the writers tell us his problem is that he's too dependent on other people and can't be alone, which is...the exact opposite?! And he's often portrayed as laidback to the point of being not caring and trying hard enough but then suddenly like a week or two later he's all super intense and competitive? And they show him as almost TOO logical and rational to the point of detachment but then he'll be depicted like an episode later as someone who always follows his heart and his instincts?! I'm getting whiplash trying to get a handle on his core traits lol. It's funny with Grey's because their female characters are generally SO vividly, clearly defined and layered yet consistent, while the male characters tend to be either one dimensional or wildly inconsistent. Anyway, any help you can give me is much appreciated!

Hello there, nonnie! I agree with you about how the Grey's writers have written Jackson inconsistently over the course of the show.

I always resonated with his character most when he was depicted as logical/rational and somewhat emotionally detached. That made sense to me, given his background as an Avery and growing up with Catherine as his mother. I'd argue she's not the warmest person. She's focused, intense, and ambitious. A strong personality. A force to be reckoned with. She loves her son, of course, I am not doubting that, but I think it's obvious she raised him to be the sort of person to do what's right, to do what's expected of him, and I feel like that's translated into him having had to brush emotion aside. He was taught that other things were more important. So, in that regard, he would have been brought up to be intense and competitive, right? That's what was expected of him. I feel like Catherine wouldn't have had much patience for emotional-based decision making either, so Jackson would've learned to suppress a lot to survive and be successful. (Which, I'd argue, is something we see over the course of the series already.)

He's always struck me as a more introverted, introspective person, too. Someone who weighs his thoughts and actions. He may be impulsive at times, quick to act in certain scenarios, but only if, logically, he reasons that it's the best course for him in that moment. He's not expressive, either. I feel like he has a difficult time not only identifying his emotions but being able to put them into words until he reaches an epiphany. He intellectualizes long before he allows himself to feel. Ironically, this is why April is such a wonderful complement to him romantically because she ushers him into a state of feeling, into a state of sitting with his emotions. She helps him to confront parts of himself that are uncomfortable, foreign, or scary. She pushes him out of his comfort zone.

[astoldbyacertifiedunicorn]

Japril Appreciation Week: Day 3 ⇒ A song or quote that reminds you of them 

Halo by Beyoncé 

Remember those walls I built?

Well, baby they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But, I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

Jackson Avery couldn't understand why exactly he was feeling so angry. It was a hard emotion to pin down for a 7 year old. He just knew, that despite all the coddling his mother has been trying to do, and all the yelling his granddad had done, he had an inexplicable need to act out. 

And now here he was, at a doctor's office, where his mom said that his behavior at school meant he'd have to talk to this doctor and tell her what was wrong. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't sure what was wrong, so there was nothing to tell her. He hadn't meant to push Pete off the swing. He really hadn't. But Pete had been talking about how his dad was teaching him to play baseball and how they'd gone for ice cream after, and he hadn't stopped when Jackson had asked him to. So, he'd pushed him, and Pete had gotten a scrape on his forehead and he'd cried real hard. Jackson had felt terrible. It wasn't Pete's fault he was feeling awfully angry this whole month. 

"Jackson, please stop being difficult. You're an Avery. You can't act out like this in public." Catherine told him, through gritted teeth, as she dragged him along a hallway leading to the doctor he was supposed to see. 

He didn't care much at the time that he was an Avery, it didn't mean anything to him. He just knew he was having a particularly bad day and he needed to scream. A lot. 

"Honey, please stop screaming." Catherine huffed, looking completely lost as to what to do with a screeching child who was kicking, arms flailing wildly as she carried him to the psychiatric ward to meet a child therapist, with as much grace as she could muster. 

"I don't want to go! I don't want to go!" He bent his body, and let his feet hit the floor, attempting to pull his mother to screeching halt.

"Honey, you have to. The school isn't letting you back until the doctor says you're... fine." Catherine explains, in a hushed voice, both to soothe and avoid scandal. 

"I am fine!" He says indignantly, even though he knows that feeling like you're fine means you want to play on the Nintendo instead of feeling like throwing it across the room. 

"You're not, Jackson. And it's okay. You're da-" 

He screamed as loud as he could, lungs puffed out, and the veins in his throat almost popping through the thin skin. She was going to say a name he didn't want to hear. 

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I won't bring him up. Just... please. Behave." Catherine tried to no avail, since Jackson was still belting out high pitch yells, and she had no option but to carry him into the room. 

 Maybe it was the stillness of the room itself, or the many faces that turned their way when they entered, but the moment they stepped into the room, Jackson went quiet. He looked around, observing the area with his eyes, unsure of what exactly this place was. It had bright coloured walls, and a play area a little off to the place where adults were all seated, flipping through magazines. His mother, finally looking relieved, was asked by a lady seated at a desk, to wait for some time before the doctor could see him. 

 She took Jackson's hand and led him into the play area, "Please, please, play nice." 

 He turned around, a scowl permanently etched on his face, as he walked forward, kicking all the toys that lay in his path as hard as he possibly could. There were 2 kids to the right, coloring and a little girl who was playing in the toy house all by herself. He chose a spot nearer to the door, sat cross legged, and took to the task of throwing any object in his vicinity as far as he possibly could. He did this for a while, happy with the rush he got every time a toy bounced so hard it almost broke.

 "Hi." 

 He stopped, a toy truck in hand, wheels almost falling off from being thrown numerous times, and looked to his right. 

 "I'm April Kepner. But you can call me April. Do you want to be my husband?" 

 He blinked, completely taken aback by this bold little girl in front of him, who was holding out her hand towards him. Her red hair was pulled up by two pigtails, and she had on a pair of dungarees, a wide smile, and a pair of massive glasses, she kept pushing up her nose. 

 "Me and Lizzy are playing house," She clarifies, pointing to a battered down doll, "I'm her mommy, and so if we get married, you can be her daddy."

 He turns red, and his hands ball up into fists. He didn't want to play house with this girl. She was annoying, and he hated her. Just like he hated everyone, especially his dad. 

 "I don't want to play a stupid game with you. Leave me alone!" He yells at her, and although most kids he knew, now flinched around him, April seemed to stay steady. 

 "It's not a stupid game." She insists, and smiles wider, "We have to go to work, and come home, and look after Lizzy. Like mommy's and daddy's do." 

 "It's a stupid game because not all daddy's do that!" He tells her, rolling his eyes. Some daddy's don't come back home. 

 "What do you mean?" She asks, putting her hands into her pockets. 

 "Nothing." He mumbles, because he doesn't talk about that day. 

 He doesn't talk about the day his daddy said he'd just be going to work, and he never came back after that. He doesn't talk about how Jackson had waited every day for a whole month, on the step outside his house, like he always does. Maybe he'd gone on a trip, Jackson had thought, he'll come back. He always goes on trips, but he always comes back. He'd waited, and waited, thought of all the stories he'd tell his dad when he came home, and all the games they'd play. He couldn't wait. He sat there, on that step, from the time he got home from school, all the way until the sun had set, waiting for his dad to just come home. He'd done that, until his mom had patted his head, and told him, in the same tone she used when his pet goldfish Frank had died, that dad wasn't coming back. 

 "Dads are dumb. I don't want to be a dad." He tells her, and she thinks this over for a second. 

 "Hm, then you can be the mom!" She tells him, gleefully, and Jackson feels like laughing for the first time in a while. 

 "I can't be the mom, stupid." He tells her, and instantly feels bad when she looks hurt. 

 "Hey! Don't call me stupid. I'm really smart. I read a lot, and know big words, like approximately."

 Jackson nodded, quite impressed, and muttered an apology. 

 "It's okay," She smiles, "So do you want to be the mom?" 

 Jackson nods, hesitatingly. He doesn't want to play, but there was something about April he now decided that he quite liked. 

 "Okay." Because at least moms don't leave. 

 "Why do you hate dads?" She asks, and he purses his lips, before he relents. 

 "They leave you." 

 "No they don't." She argues, looking baffled. 

 "Mine did." Jackson shrugs, carefully picking up Lizzie from April. 

 "Oh." She says, and pouts for a moment, "Well then he's a bad daddy." 

 Jackson looks up at her, and feels angry for a second. He new he should probably defend his father, but even at 7 years old he knew it wasn't true. 

 "Yeah he is." 

 "Is that why you're so mad?" She asks him, and Jackson takes a while before he nods, "Well, that seems fair. I'd be so angry if my daddy left too." 

 He didn't know there would be anyone who'd think he was right to feel the way he did.

 "Thanks." 

 She smiles at him, a toothy grin, and Jackson notices how she's missing a couple of teeth, but she was cute for a girl, even though rumour was they all had cooties. 

 "Hey Jackson," April says, as they get ready to go to work, and he feeds Lizzy with a tube they're pretending is a bottle, "I won't leave. I'm going to be the best daddy!" 

 He smiles, and something happens for the first time since his dad left. He doesn't feel so angry anymore. 

 Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget to pull me back to the ground again

 “Hey, April!”

 His best friend, who was sitting cross legged on the floor, near the play area, looked up from her book, and waved him over. She was wearing a sweater with a long skirt, and had apparently broken her glasses from the looks of it, since it was being held together by a white plaster of some sort.

 April and him had been friends ever since they’d met when they were seven years old, right here, in the waiting room of Mass Gen’s psych ward. Now they were both 14, and they still came here every Friday. She made these appointments his mother forced him to go, more bearable.

 When he reaches her, she scoots over to make space for him, as he takes a seat, pushing his legs in front of him.

 “What are you reading?” He asks, peaking at the words in her books, which were far too small for his liking.

 “Ulysses by James Joyce. It’s the Latinised name of the hero, Odysseus in Homer’s poem Odyssey. It's really interesting because throughout the novel you see parallels of the poem and the novel, like the characters structural experiences and the thematic exploration of modernism-”

 He chuckles quietly to himself, as April basically narrates a book report right in front of him. She was a bit of nerd, and he said that with pride. His best friend was one of the smartest people he knew. Heck, that’s why she was here in the first place. As a kid, April had never paid attention in class, and her teachers had found her difficult to teach since she doesn’t seem to be interested in her lessons. Her parents had gotten worried and brought her here, just to make sure April didn’t have any learning difficulties. Turns out, it was quite the opposite. She wasn’t challenged enough, because she was too smart for the grade she was in. So, she’d gotten bumped up a few grades, and was now a high school student at 14.

 “Sounds boring.” He teases, and pushes her with his elbow.

 “Shut up! It’s really good. It’s just-” She bites her lip, and hesitates.

 “Unnecessarily overcomplicated and a tiny bit over hyped?” He guesses, and she shyly chuckles before agreeing.

 “Yeah. It is. But it’s still good though.” She says, and closes the book before placing it back into her bag pack.

 “Says you, nerd.”

 She pushes him away, and rolls her eyes, 

 “How was school?”

 "Same old, same old. Nothing exciting,” He shrugs, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

 April stares at him, eyes narrowed and he can tell that she knows he’s bluffing.

 “I know when you’re lying! What happened?”

 He waits a second, letting her grow slightly impatient as she whines for him to stop being an asshole, and just tell her.  He gives in, smirking fully, as he deposits his report card on her lap. She opens it up, and begins to squeal so loud she gets hushed by Nurse Ria.

 "Sorry,” She mutters to Ria, as she throws her hands over his shoulders, hugging him tightly, “I told you, you could do it”

 He grins at her, and nods his head, “You did. Thank you for tutoring me… and you know, for believing in me and stuff.”

 He’s awkward with these kind of talks, but he really wants her to know how much he appreciates her friendship. His family never really cared to push him. His mom excused pretty much anything he did because of his dad, and his grandfather didn’t see any potential in him, which he never once failed to remind him. Jackson was just a sad, pretty face and he knew that nothing was expected of him. Well, by his family at least. April, on the other hand, had spent the last couple of months, tutoring him and pushing him trying to prove to him that if he worked hard, he could be really smart. He’d been unwilling at first, but the more time went on, Jackson had realized that he wasn’t failing because he wasn’t smart, but because no one cared enough to tell him otherwise. Except for April. So when he’d received his report with all A’s, he knew there was just one person he wanted to show it to.

 “I am so proud of you.” She smiles at him, her eyes beaming and her tone so genuine. His stomach did that weird flip it did whenever she looked at him like that. He wasn’t sure why.

 “So what’s up with you?” He asks her, as she hands him his report back.

 She opens her mouth as if to say something, and then shakes her head, faking a smile, “Nothing.”

 “You know, I can read you too, right?” He asks, and she drops her smile, instead choosing to pout, “April, come on, tell me. Did someone do something? Did they say something?”

 “They always do that.” She shrugs, as if she’s used to it, even though she really shouldn’t have to be. April had never had an easy time fitting in. She was smart, imaginative and a little strange, and even though those were all his favorite things about her, it also meant that she was an easy target for bullies. It also didn’t help that her classmates were all almost 4 or 5 years older than her. It was another reason why she still came here.

 “Hey, come on. Tell me.”

 She takes a deep breath and turns to him, “It’s so stupid, I shouldn’t even be upset.”

 He raises his brows at her, and clears his throat, putting on his best impression of their psychiatrist, Dr.Jones, “Your emotions are always valid. You have a right to be upset about even the smallest, most inconsequential of things.”

 April laughs, but it feels too forced, and it makes him want to punch whoever hurt her.

 “We have senior prom coming up, and I didn’t even want to go. You know I don’t like parties,” She tells him, and he nods, “Anyway, Jake, this guy in my biology class, asked me to go with him, and he’s… cute and kind of smart, so I said yes.”

 Jackson unconsciously clenches his fist. He already didn’t like where this story was going.

 “So, it turns out, it was all going to be a prank. He wasn’t going to turn up on that day. I overheard them when I went back after class to get this book I’d left behind.”

 She wipes her eyes, and he watches a stray tear roll down her cheeks. What a dick, he thinks. What kind of a horrible, disgusting, pathetic human being has to make someone feel like this so that they can feel better about themselves? April didn’t deserve this. Heck, no person deserved this.

 "What a fucker.” He mumbles, and April look shocked at how cold he sounds.

 “Jackson, don’t curse.” She mutters back, as she quickly shoots a glance around the room.

 “Do you want me to beat him up?” He asks, all serious, because even though he was younger than this guy, Jackson was quite built for his age, so he could probably take him out. He would, for her.

 “Don’t be ridiculous. If you do anything stupid like that I will go straight to your mother, okay?”

 “Whatever.” He mutters, but he knew she wasn’t joking about that.

 “April Kepner.” Nurse Ria, points at the door, indicating to April that she could go in.

 “We’re still on for tomorrow, right?” She asks, standing up, and patting her skirt down. They had movie night every Saturday at his place.

 “Yeah,” He says, but there’s something else he’s itching to ask her.

 “April?”

 “Hm?”

 He gulps, wondering when he’d gotten so nervous, “Do you… do you maybe want to go to prom with me?”

 She looks confused for a while, and a little astounded at his question.

 “You mean your junior prom?”

 He nods.

 “Yeah. All our friends will be there. Alex, Cristina, Lexie and Mark.”

 She smiles, “I do miss the gang.”

 “So, you… want to go?”

 She looks at him, and blushes, tugging on her bag.

 “April, go in!” Nurse Ria ushers her, clearly impatient.

 She looks over her shoulder, and turns back to him.

 “Okay.”

 He grins, almost breaking his jaw.

 “Okay.”

 It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

It's the risk that I'm taking

I ain't never gonna shut you out

 It had been 2 weeks of hell for Jackson. He sat in the car, head on the steering wheel, thinking about how he wasn't at all ready to go have a therapy session where he'd undoubtedly have to bring up the events of the past 2 weeks. 

 God, did he regret it. He regretted it every single day since it happened. He could barely sleep or concentrate on his classes, he was disengaged from his friends and he didn't really give a shit that he'd been an angry, intolerable douche as his mother loved to remind him. 

 He groaned, realizing he was just delaying the inevitable, and got down from his car. He walked towards the hospital, and caught his reflection on the mirror. He hadn't shaved in a while, and he looked like he felt on the inside, absolutely shitty. 

 "Hi, Jackson. You're early this week." 

 He manages a smile at the receptionist, and nods his head, "Yeah, I, uh, got caught up in a class last week." 

 No he hadn't. He'd come here, sat in his car in the parking lot and waited until he'd seen April leave the hospital, to get down and leave for his appointment. It had only been a week, and it was too fresh. 

 "Alright, well, you'll go in after April." She winks at him, and he lowers his head in shame. Of course, everyone here still thought they were together. 

 He doesn't say anything, instead nods a goodbye and walks towards the room. He slowly opens the door, and heads inside, while some faces look up to see who had entered. He smiles at Jake, a 32 year old with severe social anxiety. They never talked, but sometimes Jackson would play video games  in the waiting room with him, until April was done. 

 April. There she was, tucked into a corner, seemingly reading through some notes from class. She looked amazing, he thought. She was wearing a pale blue skater dress, with sandals, and her red hair was piled at the top of her head in a messy bun. April was, as always, effortless. 

 He hesitates for a slight second, wonders if he should maybe stay outside the waiting area for some more time, but honestly it would make him more of a coward than he already was. 

 He walks up to her, and she senses his presence, tearing her eyes from her notes to glance up at him. She looks up at him, and her face is conflicted with a mixture of emotions. She looks sad, angry and resigned. The worst thing is through it all he sees what he saw that night, when she told him she loved him, and he had gotten too scared to say it back. 

 "Can I sit here?" Jackson asks, softly, pointing to the two chairs in the corner.

 She nods, and looks away from him, as he sits down, throwing his bag on the other chair. 

 They sit in silence for a while, before he decides he needs to say something, because damn it, he misses her. 

 "How are you?" He asks and she turns to face him. It breaks his heart once more when he sees the bags under her eyes and the pale skin, and red eyes. He did this to her.

 She frowns, clearly annoyed by his question, and even he has to admit it was a dumb one. 

 "I'm sorry, that was a really stupid question." He laughs, humorlessly. 

 He knows he's really fucked up when she doesn't even reply. Heck, he knew he really fucked up the moment she'd stormed out of his room, crying her eyes out 2 weeks ago. They'd tip toed around each other for the majority of their teenage years, after they'd gone to junior prom and lost their virginity to each other. When they’d gone to college he’d finally grown the balls to ask her out, and when they'd started dating, Jackson had thought they'd finally figured it out.

 "April, I-I really am so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. God, April, that's the last thing I want to do." He tells her with a melancholic smile on his lips, "I regret it, so damn much, but... I don't know, it's for the best? Trust me, it's is. You don't... you don't want to love me."

 She sighs, and shakes her head, letting her hair fall over her face. He knows she does this when she's mad at him and wants to block him out, but it's an indication she's listening so he goes on. 

 "Do you hate me? Please don't hate me." He whispers. 

 "I don't hate you." 

 She tells him, rolling her eyes, finally coming out of the hair veil she had going on. 

 "Yeah?" 

 "Of course I don't hate you, Jackson! That's the whole problem! The problem is I love you so much that it almost feels unhealthy." She groans, burying her face in her hands. 

 "April-" 

 "No!" She yells, a little too loud, and her face flushes having remembered that they're in public. She settles on a stern, hushed tone, "You don't get to do this, Jackson. You don't get to break me, and then come here and say you're sorry, and act like regretting it will make everything alright again. It doesn't work like that!" 

 "I didn't think that. I swear I didn't. I just wanted to explain-" 

 "Explain what? That you don't love me back? Don't worry, message received. Loud and clear. Just... please leave me alone, Jackson. Go back to avoiding me like you've been doing these last 2 weeks. Go back to acting like we never happened." 

 Yes, he had avoided her. He'd intentionally avoided places she visits, and kept to his campus. She goes to Yale, and he goes to Harvard, something he'd for once be grateful for. He just couldn't bear seeing her, and be reminded of the choice he'd made. 

 "Okay, you're right. I avoided you. I'm sorry. I should've handled that better." 

 "You don't say." She replies, sarcastically. 

 "But don't... don't say I don't- that I don't-" His words fail him, like they did that day, when he needs it the most. 

 He waits for a second, gathers his thoughts. He had to make a decision, because one thing was for sure. He did love her. It was that overwhelming realization that had led to them breaking up in the first place. He loved her, but he had no idea what love was. He wouldn't ever try to love April without knowing exactly how to love her right. But, he also needed her in his life. Selfish or selfless? Maybe he was too young to make the right choice. Either way, she needed to know why.

 "I have never felt like this. I've never felt so overwhelmed by something, by someone, like I do with you. April, everything I feel for you, overwhelms me. And it's scary. It's terrifying, because I know I'm just going to end up failing you." 

 He admits, and looks up at her staring back at him, completely shocked. She'd definitely not guessed that, he could tell. God knows what conclusions she'd come to, with all her insecurities and anxieties. 

 "What? No you won't." She says, as if the mere thought was ridiculous. 

 "I will, April! I will! I don't know how to love someone. I'll screw it up and I'll hurt you, more than I already have, and you'll hate me. I can't have you hating me." He'd give her up, if it was for her best. Selfless, it is then. 

 "No, no, you won't. I know you won't." She insists. 

 "April-" 

 "No! You listen here. You are not your father. You are not Robert. You're Jackson. You are a completely different person. I know he screwed you up, Jackson, I know that. But are you really going to let him screw everything up for the rest of your life? Don't give him that kind of power!" She pokes him in the chest, once, twice, to prove her point. 

 She takes in a deep breath, and calms herself, considering her outburst had gotten her riled up. 

 "I'm not saying you have to love me-"

 "I do." 

 She smiles at him, a warmth reaching her eyes that had only minutes ago looked dead. How could he not love her when she knew him better than anyone else?

 "Yeah?" She asks, and he nods.

 "You're just scared to say it out loud?" 

 He nods, again.

 "Well then you should've just told me that, doofus!" 

 He pushes him back, and he lets himself have a laugh for the first time since he'd called them off, since he'd decided that he wasn't someone who deserved April.

 She places both her hands in his face. 

 "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I know you think you're unlovable, Jackson, because you think he couldn't love you but that's not true. I love you. I love you so much. I-" 

 She was the ultimate risk. The blind jumping into a bottomless pit. But God, was she worth all the damage it could do. 

 "Love you. I love you." 

 She kisses him then, and he can almost feel the older man next to him rolling his eyes at their public display of affection. She pulls back, studies him, and kisses him once more. 

 "You are not him." 

 He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't deny it either. 

 April brings an arm to his shoulder and lightly pulls his body towards her. She brings her mouth towards his ear, and gently bites on the lobe. 

 "Want to skip today?" She murmurs, and like the 20 year old, hormonal boy he is, he can feel himself embarrassingly react to just her words, "Maybe, some makeup sex? I hear it's really good." 

 He smirks, and surreptitiously puts his hand under her dress, snapping the elastic of her underwear. 

 "Well, let's go find out." 

Everywhere I’m looking now, 

I’m surrounded by your embrace, 

Baby I can see your halo, 

You know you’re my saving grace,

You’re everything I need and more

It’s written all over your face

Baby, can feel your halo

Pray it won’t fade away

“Mom, remember that Samuel tends to walk around a lot, so keep an eye on him even if you put him in the play pen, and Harriet will fuss for April at bedtime so just play that recording I sent to your phone, and she’ll calm down.”

Jackson tells his mother, as he walks paces the hallway outside of the now very familiar waiting room, although he comes here less often over the years and it looks very different than it did when he first came here. He listens to his mother rattle on about how she’s perfectly aware and capable of handling her own grandchildren, and that he should stop worrying about this, and worry about something that actually required his attention, like his marriage. It was, after all, the reason why he was back here, after almost 5 years.

He cuts the line, after telling her to stay out of his business, and goes back inside to rejoin his wife. He walks up to her, and sees her attempting to sit down on the chair, with an 8 month pregnant belly, which he knew now, after 2 other babies, was no easy feat.

“Hey, hey, let me help.”

She stares daggers at him, but nonetheless takes his hand, and lets him sit her down. She doesn’t thank him these days. She’s not very amicable towards him at all these days, and honestly, he doesn’t blame her. He’s been a little impossible to like as of lately.

“How’s the baby?” He asks, placing a hand on her belly.

“Kicking on my bladder, doing cartwheels around my belly and craving raisin pudding. I hate raisin pudding. Basically, making my life as difficult as possible. That’s how I’m sure it’s your child.” She gives him a withering look, as she uncomfortably adjusts herself on the chair.

He shakes his head, used to the jabs she takes at him nowadays, “Is that why you’re sure? Not because you recall that vacation in Cancun when you wanted me so bad, you refused to let me get up and go get a condom?”

She widens her eyes, and as she used to do even back then, when he’d said or done something inappropriate in this waiting room, quickly scans the crowd to see if they’re listening. Once she realizes they aren’t, she turns back to him.

“I’m not in the mood to joke with you, Jackson. If you’re feeling particularly talkative today, please feel free to instead talk to our therapist about-”

“There is nothing to talk about, April. God, we’re just wasting our time here.”

She scoffs at him, “It’s nice to see that you think saving our marriage is a waste of your time.”

“That’s not fair! You know that’s not what I-”

“Doctors Avery, if you could maybe try to resolve your issues in my office and not the waiting room, that would be great. I can assure you I’m more qualified of an audience than Lilly over here.”

Rashida, their counselor, points to the 5 year old little girl who sees enamored by their hushed argument.

April flushes a bright red, and gets up with his help, to follow Rashida into her office. They sit down, and the tension settles back in.

“Alright, did we do our homework for this week?” Rashida asks, staring earnestly at them.

“Yes.” April nods, albeit too enthusiastically, and he smirks at how his genius of a wife never stopped being the cute nerd who taught him the word ‘approximately’.

“Okay, then, April would you like to tell me what you’ve written down. Now remember Jackson, this is a list of all the things you did that affected April negatively. I don’t want you interrupting until she’s done.” He warns her, because he had a tendency to be quite defensive.

“Okay, so he’s been more and more distant lately-”

“Oh come on!” He groans, and immediately looks bashful since it had only been a second since he’d been told not to interrupt and he was already doing it, “Sorry.”

“So he’s been distant. He keeps trying to distract me with sex, and honestly, I’m over that. And last week, he yelled at me because I asked him if he wanted my help giving Harriet a bath. It’s like he thinks I’m questioning him as a parent, and-”

He sighs, as April lists off all his recent failures as a husband. He hates that she feels so disappointed. It was not at all his intention, to ever hurt her or make her feel like they’re marriage wasn’t strong enough. When they’ve gotten married, he’d made her promise him that divorce would never be an option for them. So last month when she’d given him the ‘therapy or else’ ultimatum, he knew she didn’t mean a divorce, but that the word would become an option for her.  

“I just want him to open up to me. I just want him to stop telling me nothing is wrong-”

“Nothing is wrong, April. I am fine, I keep telling you this, but you’re not listening to me. You’re reading into nothing.” He groans, running a hand over his face.

“That’s not true. I’ve known you since I was 7 years old, Jackson! I’ve been your best friend for almost 28 years, we’ve been married for over 10 years. I know you! I know when you’re upset.” She insists.

“April, I love you. I love our kids. My life revolves around the three of you. I live for the three of you. Is that not enough?”

“Of course I know you love me, Jackson, that’s not the problem. I love you too, so much. I just don’t think my husband should go through something that is making him into someone I don’t recognize because of it.”

“Did you know Dr.Jones was my father?”

They break their gazes away from each other to look at Rashida.

“Really?”April asks, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“Small world.” He comments.

Rashida smiles warmly, “Did you know you were his favorite patients? He used to talk about the two of you at home. Of course, he never said any names, but after reading your files, I figured out it out. He thought it was crazy romantic that you two met here, at seven, and ended up dating. He loved that you two asked him to come to your wedding. It’s sad he passed away before it happened.”

“It broke our hearts.” April admitted, and he did remember how sad she was that he couldn’t be there. They hadn’t even been able to make it to the funeral.

“Did you know that you two talked about each other at every single one of your sessions?” She asks, and they both nod, knowingly but surprised that the other also did the same, “It’s sweet. Aprils talked about how she finally found someone that seemed to truly like her, and Jackson talked about how he’d found someone he could maybe picture himself having a family with. You found healing, not only within yourselves, but also within each other. I just… urge you not to forget about your incredible history. Remember this when you’re confused about Jackson’s feelings or when April seems to read into yours a little too much, just don’t forget-”

“I found my dad.”

The silence that set in the room was so loud, Jackson wished someone would say something. April looked so shocked, her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide. She gasps, as she brings a hand up to her mouth.

“You….uh…. dad… um, what?” She stutters, eyes rapidly blinking, trying to decipher this information.

“I found him. I hired this guy to look into him, and he finally found him. He lives in Montana. He owns a bar and he sells chicory coffee on Etsy. It’s really fucking weird.”

“Oh, honey.”

April scoots closer to him, taking hold of his hand, and hugging it to her chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me this? Gosh, Jackson, I can’t believe you dealt with all that by yourself.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to worry you. I know how you get with my dad, April. You feel bad, and you think talking to him is going to solve it, and I don’t know what I even want to do with this information. I’m torn between wanting to talk to him, and punching his lights out, or both,” He admits, and then looks sheepishly at April. He knew she didn’t like any kind of violent talk, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’d like to punch him myself, to be honest.” She says, and he smiles at her.

“Look, Jackson, it’s definitely up to you, but from what I read in your files, you always talk about closure. Maybe this is the closure you’ve always wanted.” Rashida says, and he shrugs. He’s torn between that and never wanting to see him again.

“I just want you to tell me when you’re going through something this big. I’m your wife, Jackson. You don’t have to deal with this alone.” April tells him, running a hand through his hair, “I will come with you, if you decide to go. I will be there for whatever you need. I am your wife. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

If Jackson was to look at his life through a series of snapshots, the one person who would always be there was April. When his father had left, all those years ago, there had been a hole in his life, he’d never thought he could fill, but as fate would have it, he met April. April his friend, April his best friend, April his girlfriend, and April his wife. They’d all filled up that gaping hole, bit by bit, piece by piece until there were only faint scars of what had happened.

“Thank you.” He says, as he leans forward and kisses her.

If there was a thing as a guardian angel, well he’d found his at seven, and he had held on for dear life.

Baby, I can feel your halo, 

Pray it won’t fade away. 

THANK YOU FOR READING! 

I’m not too happy with this one, so sorry if it wasn’t all that good <3

[ginandweas]

Japril Appreciation Week 2021 ↳ Day 1: Favourite episode(s) / Favourite happy moments

Two people who loved each other. Two people who really wanted to protect each other. Who really wanted what was best for each other.

[japrildaily]

Hello Japril shippers! Three years of waiting.. And we finally got it! Our lovely couple get back on the screen again as #JaprilTheMovie part 3. I couldn’t believe it would happen one day. When people saw the news, the #Japril tag and the fandom woke up from winter sleep. People don’t forget. It shows how strong Sarah and Jesse created couple that have so big impact to people.

Let’s celebrate this week once again!

Important informations:

Japril Appreciation Week 2021 is from 28th June to 04th July.

You can participate by making gifs, graphics, videos, picspams, writing fanfics, notes etc.

Tag your posts with #japrilweek2021

If you have any question, you can ask me here.

If you don’t want to stick to the plan & you have other idea for each day, don’t hesitate to post it. :)

If dates for this week don’t fit, you can do it later. 

Schedule:

Day 1: Favourite episode(s) / Favourite happy moments

Day 2: AU: Japril moved to Boston and.. develop a story

Day 3: Heartbreaking moment(s)

Day 4: A quote/song that remind You of Japril

Day 5: Favourite scene(s) with Harriet

Day 6: Couple tropes

Day 7: Free choice

Spread the world and enjoy! :)

[sarfatisyeun]

hello, it’s  April Kepner Appreciation Week so i need more april stans who to follow, love ya

[daisugababy]

Finally watched this weeks episode, and like I really liked it. What a great ending for jackson and his story. However it left me feeling so salty about his arc since s8 and especially since s14... imagine if we had gotten to explore all these feelings/emotions in a season long arc instead of just introducing and resolving it all in one ep (pretty much). The fact is outside of japril and the weird maggie/jackson arc I cant think of one story they have given him over the last few seasons. It would have been so much fun to see him adopt a mentor role, or even grow as a parent. But instead the only things jackson has done is be rich, own the hospital and do surgery. Plus jesse is probably one of the top 5 actors on that show (as seen in this ep) and they give him NOTHING to work with lol. The fact is greys introduced too many characters that didnt need to be there and it ruined the show as meaningless plots took away from what should be the main cast. Like to that point, what have bailey and richard done over the last few seasons? The only thing coming to mind is worry about ben, have a heart attack, be chief, mom died (which they didnt really do anything with) and make surgery pen, get cobalt poisoning, have a weird season long fight with catherine lol. Meanwhile teddy had a baby with owen, had an affair with tom, had a 3 season long love triangle with owen and tom, and had a whole plot introduced where she is bi and the love of her life died in 9/11?? (not to mention the whole alison thing is lowkey a huge plothole with henry and how he died and how his death weighed on her...). Anyways sorry for the rant just jackson was one of my favs back in the day and ive always been bothered with how they have written him since mark died and also since japril broke up !

The episode was really nice! I enjoyed it a lot.

I liked Jackson a lot when he still got good material. Him and Mark were such an iconic duo. Man, I miss them. I would’ve loved to see Jackson as a mentor and I thought that’s what they were going for with him and Dahlia.

What’s really missing with Grey’s is writing out characters in a manner that doesn’t just kill them. Let them leave town for whatever reason and don’t keep them all around when you can’t give them all good storylines anymore. You can bring them back whenever you feel it’s time. They could’ve written out Jackson and April together. Could’ve still shipped off Arizona to New York. Jo could’ve gone with Alex to take care of the kids. T*wen could’ve stayed/gone to Germany (although I don’t want them here LOL). Bailey barely has a story on Grey’s and appears on Station 19 more bc of Ben. Have her show up there more. And Webber idk tbh. Have him more interact with the interns/residents since he loves teaching them?

Also as much as I like Amelink, they could’ve just given them a break til they come back for real. I just don’t understand why both of them would go into a hospital during a pandemic with a baby at home. Nico and Tom stil exist to do the job. Give them the time. Or write Tom out too, because I really don’t know what they’re trying to do with him except for still crying after Teddy and having Covid.  

I miss the good old Grey’s with more focus on the cases and patients. Maybe then I could appreciate Meredith more again. I loved her for so long but what did she even do the last 2 seasons except being dumb as hell?

I’m not necessarily saying, yeet them all, but what good does it do when you have a lot of really great actors that you don’t have material for anymore? Especially when you have newer characters you barely explored yet?

Don’t worry, I loved your rant, gave me a chance to throw my rant out here too hahaha. Because I liked Jackson A LOT, but after Mark died and April left there was just.... nothing going on with him. (I try to repress that j*ggie mess.)

[sarahdrewsource]

Japril Appreciation Week 2019. day three – hottest kisses/scenes

[aprilrph]

Japril Appreciation Week 2018 Day 4: Free choice

The ending we all deserved.

[trulisthetic]

NEW || Late Night Nerves

Japril Appreciation Week 2018

Day 2: Favorite Japril scene as friends.

[A/N] 8x21. It’s the night before the boards and when the nerves start kicking in, all Jackson needs is his best friend... and a few drinks.

He knew there was no way he was going to get some sleep anytime soon the second he laid down on the bed of his hotel room. It was too fluffy, too white. And it smelled too clean. But had the bed been the only problem he would just sleep on that small green couch at the corner instead. And how he wished the solution to his sleeplessness was that simple.

But he was certain as hell that even if he were lying on his own bed right now, he’d still be nowhere near sleeping. It was only inside walls that he knew it was still there, coursing through his veins as if it hitched a ride on his blood cells. Anxiety. Nervousness. Fear.

He’d spent the last five years of his residency training to become a surgeon. But those five years suddenly didn't even matter. The only thing that mattered, the only thing between him and the rest of his career was a test. In this random hotel, in this random city, with a random examiner asking him random questions. Kindergarten, high school, college, med school, residency, it all led to this moment.

And the moment had now come.

KEEP READING

[minyoonggis]

quick greys thoughts (i might do a longer meta post later but i just needed to express my thoughts because oh dang)

“Replacement babies. PTSD.” Anddddd that was the sound of my heart breaking. 

When the audience heard this, my heart simultaneously broke and stopped. 

I really appreciate that we’re getting a storyline that’s solely about April, and her struggle with her faith. While it’s so hard seeing her in pain, or disconnected, it’s so interesting as well. 

April’s face during her conversation with Matthew was, to say the least, fascinating and gut-wrenching at the same time. She ran out of that barn, clutching Jackson’s hand, with such hope in her heart. And she fell in love, and was loved, and got pregnant, and loved that baby too- and then, it all started to slip away. She lost her baby, and eventually lost her husband as well. The April we see now, while a more mature April, has also faced more struggles and been hurt by the world. She’s not the same, and while Matthew at the moment seemed to have found his happy ending, the only happy ending she has left at the moment is Harriet. (Also, Sarah Drew, as usual, KILLED IT. During this episode, she ran the gamut of emotions- to perky awkward April, to the April we see at the end, whose eyes just look utterly dead)

Also, this is a storyline we haven’t seen with April before. We’ve seen April and her attempts to revirginize in season 10. We’ve seen her struggles with dealing with Samuel’s death. We’ve seen her enlist in the army to serve abroad, in an attempt to stem her pain. And now, she has finally reached a breaking point with her faith. And since she has lost that, what can she believe in? Her faith, which has guided her for so long, has let her down. What systems of religion can she trust? What systems of order can she trust? She saw tonight how police “just doing their job” stole the life of a child and destroyed a family. April can’t count on anything anymore, except Harriet. 

Harriet at this point is the only thing she can count on. We are seeing perky, optimistic, never give up, “I’m a soldier” April Kepner not believing in anything. Overall, besides her daughter, right now things aren’t going April’s way, to say the least. And this is a heavy topic. It’s intense. And it’s a storyline all on her own.

While I don’t know if I have it in me at the moment to hope for Japril at this point (Jaggie and the writers have broken my heart in that way) I’m happy that it looks like we’re getting a strong arc for April the second half of this season. Give her more scenes, more lines, more stories to tell. Sarah Drew, the actress, deserves this. And April Kepner, our wonderfully flawed, human character, absolutely deserves it as well. 

Few more quick points:

I wonder if April thought at any point during this episode how if Samuel had been able to grow up, the dangers he would face as a black boy growing up in America

It’ll be interesting to see how April’s lack of faith at the moment affects her personality, and affects how she judges the contest- and will other people pick up on that? 

even though it’s painful knowing what jaggie there is to come, it was nice to just see jackson and april interact again. i miss them, and i miss their friendship, and i really just miss everything about them. but i know better than to count on anything with that... 

I don’t know if it’ll be a thing, but I’m really curious what Jackson’s reaction would be to finding out April slept with the intern

I’m not mad April slept with him?.. 

I need #teamtrauma back in my life, please- last week was good, but i need more. April needs support and friends and everyone just needs to protect April Kepner, ok? 

also i’m bitter i knOW but wow shonda. tweeting twice about maggie tonight with her limited screentime? and not ONCE about april/her storyline/sarah drew’s performance? there will be plenty of more opportunities to tweet all you want about maggie, considering how much screentime she gets. 

Ok, that’s all folks. (Did I say this was going to be quick?)

[austennerdita2533]

Rank how much these GA ship murders hurt the most: Merder, Slexie, Japril.

OMG....THIS IS SO MEAN !!! These are the 3 ship deaths that crawl inside of you like freshly bloodied fingernails so they can rot forever, not die, because whenever the brain reflects back on them it’s like a giant hook pierces through your chest dragging - tearing - tossing - dumping you ass-first into the wrenching pain like. it’s. the. first. damn. time. It doesn’t matter how many times you watch, or how hard you try to prepare yourself for what’s coming before it comes--it destroys you anyway.😭

If I absolutely HAD to rank them, though--

1) Slexie - They win top spot for me because that damn plane crash was so unexpectedly tragic and I thought they had more time...they deserved more time! There’s something so terrible about watching Mark AND Meredith sob over Lexie, to hear him express his love in the moments before she takes her last breath and is gone from the earth, to see him there perched against plane scraps after the dust settles, still clutching her cold fingertips because he can’t let go, he won’t, because they were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to get married, have kids, be the 50 + year old love story that everyone else envied. Add into the equation how Mark lingers for a few days (weeks?) after the survivors return to Seattle, alive, only to fade further and further away each day, imparting his “if you love someone, you tell ‘em. you say it, and you say it loud” wisdom AND IT’S 50 SHADES OF BAWL MY EYEBALLS OUT FOREVER, OKAY? 

I take solace in the fact that he and Lexie are together in death buuut...why not give them a chance to live instead?

2) Merder - Meredith and Derek, their love story, it was the heart of the show. They went through so many ups-and-downs as individuals, as a couple, and I sat front row for it all--beginning to end. I have no shame admitting that I bawled throughout Derek’s ENTIRE death episode. I actually think it’s the hardest I’ve cried watching Grey’s and I’ve cried a lot watching this show over the years. His inner monologue destroyed me in every way. But how do you not sob when he dies - not because his injuries are so fatal that he cannot be saved - but because the doctors treating him make a beyond fatal mistake? Then, worse still, you have to watch Meredith make the decision to take him off life support??? Listen as she tells him it’s okay for him to die now, that she and the kids will be okay??? Just--how freaking DARE you! I mean, Derek hoped to die when he was 110 years old, in Meredith’s arms, only for it all to end like that? Really? WHYYYY. 

The heart-shredding unfairness of it all makes me want to scream! I realize it’s extremely true to life and while I appreciate that--I still hate it. (I was more prepared for this ship’s ending because I knew Patrick Dempsey was leaving. But only marginally more prepared lol.)

3) Japril - I feel oh, so incredibly guilty about ranking Jackson and April so low because their canon ending absolutely wrecked me, e s p e c i a l l y when I take into account their last conversation prior to the April/Matthew non-interrupted wedding where she trails off with a “you’re my...” and leaves us all hanging. So, okay, technically what they are to each other or what they mean to each other doesn’t need to be said, defined, or defended. However, if anyone thinks the words SOULMATE or BEST FRIEND don’t belong at the other end of that ellipsis then come and fight me because that’s what they are. What they will always be. That’s precisely why their end is so tragic because they understand each other better than someone else ever will or could, yet, still, in the end, the whole “you’re my best friend, you’re my favorite person” thing isn’t enough to keep their marriage together. Worse than that, all you want is for them to find their way back to each other! For keeps! 

Since they’re both still alive, though, I can pretend they will or do. A girl can dream, right? (I think that’s why I have them ranked as #3.)

[astoldbyacertifiedunicorn]

Japril Appreciation Week: Day 6 ⇒ Favorite scene that you can watch over and over again 

M RATING AHEAD 

Jackson wonders if they were fated to end up like this. If there was something that may have indicated to him, when he first met April in Mercy West, that she would one day end up giving him her virginity, and he would love every single second of it.

April had blown his mind last night. Sure, her inexperience meant that she was careful, cautious with her movements, a little unsure sometimes, he'd never been more into the sex in his whole life. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be present for every single second, and it had been mind blowing how different the sex had felt with her. It had felt... more. That's the only way he could think to describe it.

And then she'd let him sleep next to her, cuddled into his chest, and held him close, and even though he'd always disliked sharing a bed with someone, preferring his own personal space, he'd held on to her just as tight.

He's already dressed, since he was up early. He puts the other shoe on and ties it up, pulling his trouser over it.

He smiles at her sleeping figure, watching the rise and fall on her chest. Her body was covered by the fabric of a thin sheet, but her jostling had pulled it down, to expose a creamy breast. She was a beauty.

He watched her as she moved sleepily moved her hands above her head, and stretched her body. She let them fall on the bed, but the movement had made her breasts stick out towards him, almost invitingly. He didn't want to do anything she may not be comfortable with, because after all, she'd just lost her virginity to him only last night.

But there was this almost magnetic pull towards her, and he'd found out last night, that virgin maybe, but April was by no means shy when it came to sex.

He brought a finger up to her shoulder, tracing the skin towards her collarbone, and feeling goosebumps erupt on her to his touch. It was so sexy that she reacted to him even in her sleep.

He leaned down, shooting a glance up to her face to catch her expression, before he took a bud in his mouth, circling it around with his tongue. He saw her face change, her lips fall open as she sighed so softly. He pulled on it slightly with his teeth, and a small smile began to graze her face.

He smirked against her, as he slipped his hand underneath the sheet and found her other breast, taking a handful and squeezing it, earning a gasp.

He let her go with a pop of his mouth, as he continued dropping kisses down her body, watching her thighs part involuntarily.

He dropped a kiss to her skin, just above her already wet mound, and watched her eyes flutter open in surprise.

"Jackson." She moans, dropping a hand down to grab his curls, and he wonders for a slight second if she plans to ask him to stop, but instead she presses his face against her heat.

"Please?" She asks, and it's the absolutely wanton desire he sees in her mixed with the most innocent sounding request, that makes him dip his head, and eat her out like a starved man, only pulling away when she's bone dry.  

"That-that was... woah." She chuckles, breathlessly.

"Yeah?" He asks her, before tangling a hand in her hair, kissing her feverishly.

She pulls him closer to her by his tie, responding to his lips.

"Who needs an alarm, right?" He grins, while shooting a glance downwards.

"Uh huh." She nods, still in a daze, a wide grin on her face but he can tell she's still coming down from her high.

"Go get dressed." He tells her, dropping a kiss to her chin, before moving away from her.

She giggles and turns around on the bed, pulling the sheet up to her chest, "We had sex last night."

He turns back to her, as he pulls on his jacket, smiling tenderly, "Yeah, we did."

She nods again, still wearing that Cheshire Cat smile.

"I wanna do it again." She whispers, and her eyes go wide, almost as if she was surprising herself with the admission.

He was hoping she'd say that, "Not until I take you out."

"Yeah?" She asks, trying not to let her glee come through, but forgetting momentarily that he could read her like a book.

"Yeah."

"Why are you ready so early?" She asks, her back against her headboard, and her legs stretched out in front of her.

"I need to get my lucky pencil, remember?"

"Oh yes," She chuckles, "You're so lame."

He gasps in fake hurt, "You take that back."

"Nope. Don't want to." She tells him defiantly.

He walks quickly up towards her, and before she can react, pulls her to the edge of the bed. He gets down on his knees, parting her legs in one swift movement.

"I think this might change your mind." He grins mischievously, before setting his mouth on hers to work her again. This time, however, he doesn't come up for air until she's begging him to.

"Is my pencil lame?" He asks, nuzzling her very sensitive nerves with his nose, as her hips thrust up at the sensation.

"Yes." She squeaks out, and he darts his tongue out, before she's pushing at his face, "I'm joking. I can't anymore."

He comes up to face her, and she looks at him, exhausted, "Say it."

"Your pencil isn't lame." She says, and goes to roll her eyes, before he pecks her lips.

"Good."

"I can't feel my legs." She says, "I can't feel them."

He quietly laughs at how genuinely worried she sounds, "You're welcome."

He quickly runs out of the room, dodging the pillow she throws towards him.

Jackson couldn't keep the grin off his face, as he walked down hallway, leading to his mother's room. April, was enchanting. He'd never been so enamored by a person before, but since last night, it felt as if he'd been aimlessly walking around a dark room, and someone had finally switched on the light. It was almost frightening how easy it had been for them to transition into lovers. Sexual chemistry wasn't something that could be faked. It had nothing to do with experience or skills, but more to do with finding someone who's body and presence felt as if it was made for you. He'd long thought that was a bunch of love sick bullshit, until he'd slept with a very virgin April who'd managed to know exactly what to do to get him undone.

He was thinking about how he couldn't wait to get back to her, when he knocked on the door of his mother's hotel room. He could hear the rustling of feet behind the door, and the lock clicking open, and he smiled at the welcoming figure of.... Richard Webber?!

He was confused, so very confused.

"Good morning, Dr.Webber?" He almost asked, tearing his gaze away from his Chief, basically his boss, dressed in a robe, "I, uh thought this was my mom's room. I must have heard her wrong, sorry-"

"Oh, uh, no no, just wait a minute." Richard says, looking just as uncomfortable as Jackson seemed to feel right now.

Jackson stayed put, wondering whether the senior doctor would by any chance have his mother's actual room number, and he was off to retrieve that, when his mother, dressed in a very similar robe, popped her head through the door.

"Morning, baby. Here's your pencil. Okay, now remember-"

Jackson couldn't exactly hear anything, she said next because utter shock on occasion led to momentary incapacity to do anything, but stand very straight, mouth wide open.

"Alright, honey, good luck." His mother, kissed him on the cheek, and closed the door.

Jackson found himself unable to move for a moment, recounting the fact that he had just seen his mother, and Richard Webber, in a room together, dressed in robes. Oh hell no. He was going to be sick. If he didn't get some air, or jump off a high building, he was going to lose his mind.

He found himself speed walking back towards April's room, wanting more than anything to have his best friend to tell him, that she'd noticed how sometimes, he saw things that weren't really there, a mirage of sorts. That's what it was, because no way in hell was Richard Webber banging his mom. Oh hell no.

"Richard Webber is banging my mom."

"What?!"

April, whom he had found in their bathroom, wearing a towel, was in the process of blow drying her hair. Well, right now, she was merely staring at him through the mirror, blow dryer shooting warm air into her stunned face.

He recounted the events of that morning, while April remained on her spot, completely flabbergasted. Why was this happening to him?

"I'm going to fail. I'm going to go the exam room, and then I'm going to be thinking about how Richard Webber banged my mom, and then stood around the room with her wearing matching robes." He yells, quite hysterical at this point, willing himself not to lose his shit, even though he very much wants to.

To top it all off, after the initial shock had worn off, April was laughing. A lot.

"Yes, please, laugh at my pain, April." He rolls his eyes at her, and pouts.

"Aw, I'm sorry," She says through giggles, even though she doesn't sound the least bit sorry at all, "What can I do to make it better, hm?"

She walks up to him, and places her arm around his waist, and he pulls her closer, his fingers toying with the opening of her towel.

"Well, I mean there's one way." He smirks at her, but she swats his hand away when he attempts to slip in between the folds.

"How are you in the mood after that?" She asks him, shaking her head at his constant enthusiasm. It wasn't his fault April could get him going even after a traumatic experience.

He shrugs, and she leans in to him, standing on her tip toes to kiss him, languidly. He deepens the kiss, and she pulls back, but keeps her hands on his face.

"Look, your mom is a gorgeous, smart, strong and brilliant woman, and men like Dr.Webber are going to be attracted to her, and she's going to be attracted to them, because she doesn't stop being a woman, just because she's your mother." April tells him, and he knows she's right. His mother was allowed to date, although she did it sparingly when he was growing up, most probably to avoid hurting his feelings. He was an adult now, so he really had no say.

"Okay, fine, you're right, but why did I have to find out like that?" He groans, dropping his head to her shoulder, reliving the mortifying situation, "Also, Richard Webber of all people. Not only is he my chief, but he's not exactly boyfriend of the year."

"Jackson!" She chastises him, and he kisses her shoulder, before she pulls him up to face her.

"Look, you don't chose who you're attracted to. Sometimes it just happens, and it takes you by surprise, and you can't really fight it." Her voice is a low hum, and she bites her lip towards the end, as she searches his eyes. Who was her to argue with that logic?

"Hm, you're right." He agrees with her, because he hadn't expected to be so in lust with his best friend, that he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

"Of course I am. I'm always right." She pushes her hair behind her shoulders, and smirks. He chuckles in agreement, as he slaps her butt, a little too hard, and she squeals in surprise.

While April was changing, he was seated on the bed, facing the wall, as per her orders, since she didn't want him to see her naked. It made no sense to him at all.

There's a knock on the room door and he raises a brow at April who was covering her chest with her arms, "Oh I ordered room service."

"Great." He smiles, as she disappears behind the wall for him to go and retrieve the food.  

He opens the door, however to his, now fully dressed, mom who looks at him with same kind of confusion he had felt when he'd first gone to her room. She looks at him, creases her brow, and then look down the hallway, and back again at him.

"I thought this was April's room." She asks him.

"Um, yeah it is. What are you doing here?" He asks, trying to stall the conversation until April is hopefully fully dressed.

"Well, I came here looking for you, and you weren't in your room so I thought I'd ask April if she'd seen where you were." Catherine explains, slyly peeking into the room.

He blocks her view by moving his body closer to the door, "Oh well, yeah, we thought we'd get some early revising done before the exam."

He lies, hoping he sounds effortless, because he's not ready for his mother to know what happened with him and April. She'll meddle, and make April uncomfortable, and he didn't need that for her before a big exam.

"Oh, okay." She says, sounding a little convinced, "Well, listen, about Richard-"

"Mom, we really don't need to talk about that." He says, shaking his head vehemently.

"Look, honey, I-"

"Jackson, have you seen my skirt anywhere?"

He doesn't exactly need to see April to know she's given them away. He sees his mother's eyes go wide, and sees her gasp in disbelief, before hearing a very loud scream from behind him.

Great.

He turns around, and sees April standing in a sexy as hell, beige lingerie set, as she covers herself with her arms and runs behind the wall.

"So I don't think there's a practical portion to this exam."

He turns back to face his mother, who is standing with her arms crossed in front of her chest, wearing a smirk.

"Mom, don't."

She waves him off, "April, honey, good luck for today."

"Er, thank you, Dr.Avery." April replies, stammering in embarrassment from behind the wall.

Jackson runs his hand over his face, knowing that once you get his mother started, there was no stopping her.

"Baby, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Catherine, hm?" Catherine says, and April mutters a quick sorry, "It's okay, I'm just so glad you finally took my advice. I hope he was good-"

"Oh no! No, no. Off you go. You've done enough damage, already." He tells her, pushing her away, because she, although unintentionally, would make sure April never speaks to him again for the rest of her life.

"Oh alright. I'm going. I'll be expecting you two to have dinner with me tonight, okay? You can fly back to Seattle on our plane the next day." Catherine says, as she shoots him a look that tells him that this is one thing she will to compromise on.

"Yeah, sure, okay. I'll talk to, April." He promises, and attempts to shut the door.

"Hey," Catherine says, holding his chin, pulling his face up to look at her, "I always rooted for this, so don't mess it up."

He smiles, and nods his head, "I won't."

She walks off them, waving at him, and he finally closes the door behind him, exhaling loudly.

He walks to the room, and sees April, still standing very still behind the wall.

"She's gone." He tells her, and almost laughs at how mortified she looks. She's blushing a deep red, and it's spread through her entire body.

"I want the earth to open up and swallow me whole, right now." She groans, falling face first on to the bed, "I am not leaving this room.... forever."

He chuckles, and pulls her up, finding her skirt wedged between the space of the bed and the bed table.

"Trust me, you're fine. She's thrilled about this." He tells her, as she pulls on her skirt.

"I was caught by a doctor and woman whom I admire so much, in my underwear after I've had sex with her son. Don't tell me I'm fine!" She huffs, as she secures the final button of her top, and runs her hands through her curls.

"Well, her son is very happy that you decided to have sex with him." He grins at her, and she rolls her eyes, finally letting herself laugh.

"This is so crazy." She tells him, adjusting his tie.

"Well, that's the Averys for you."

"Yeah, but they're alright." She teases, sticking her tongue out at him.

He shakes his head, softly laughing along, and kisses her lovingly, "Good luck."

She nods, chews on her bottom lip, and pulls her face towards him forcefully, her lips rough against his, and she momentarily, literally, takes his breath away, "Okay, I feel better. Good luck, Jackson."

He's a little awestruck and she blushes when she notices. He loved it when she took the lead with him. That was all the good luck he needed. Maybe it was time, for his pencil to retire.

“I passed!”

Well, that was one of them. Cristina grinned smugly at the rest of the group, trying to convince them that she wasn’t the least bit worried, even though he knew this was far from the truth. They were all aware that each of them were brilliant and intelligent enough to pass, but the exams had gone sour for all of them for many different reasons. Cristina’s examiner had preferred old school techniques over her newer, albeit slightly riskier ones, Meredith had had the awful stomach flu she’d contracted from Zola, Alex had flown back to Seattle in the middle of his exam, April had furiously yelled back at an examiner who’d told her that she couldn’t be a good doctor if she was of faith and he himself had been distracted by his mother being in the room next to him, probably trying to keep an eye on his exam. They all went through their ordeals, and had come out of it more certain that the boards just wasn’t going to go their way. Maybe Cristina would be the exception.

“I passed too!”

And Meredith, it seems. He watched on as the self-proclaimed twisted sisters, hugged each others, basically jumping around for joy. He was a little more nervous now with each pass. What was the statistics again? 1 out of 5 of them would fail. He looked beside him towards April who wiped sweat from her forehead, closing her eyes tight shut, possibly praying. The religion thing he’d found out when she had told him before the exam that she sent out a prayer for him as well. He’d mused to April, although his own knowledge of religion was very limited, if there wasn’t something against the whole pre-marital sex in the bible. She’d assured him that although she would’ve preferred to have been married, it didn’t matter all too much, because she was very happy that it was with him. Her best friend, and now, possibly more. He’d stupidly asked if she was now an outlaw, an enemy of the state of heaven, when she’d laughed and told him, that the religion she believed in was kind, forgiving and understanding, especially of those who were only, supposedly, ‘guilty’ of love.

“I passed! I fucking passed!”

Alex had been the wild card. Jackson’s eyes darted to April’s as they focused on his. This was it. The defining moment for the two of them. The two Mercy Westers, the outsiders. They had more to prove than the other three.  Their phones chimed at the same time, and he quickly opened his app, and pressed on the first email in his account.

Pass. He had passed.

“I passed! I passed! Oh thank you, God!” April squealed happily, before looking at him hopefully, awaiting.

“Pass.”

The doctors all broke into a cheer, happy that their whole unit, who had spent weeks studying together, and as a result bonding with one another, had finally made it through that one final stretch. However, all he could feel was April, who had decided to jump onto him, her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck, kissing him senseless. What a way to celebrate, he thinks, as he holds her to him, letting her consume him.

He stops when he hears a throat clearing behind him, and April pulls back from him, looking fully flushed, possibly from their small make out session, but more or so from the fact that they had forgotten their friends were standing right there, in front of them, completely unaware of what had transpired between them the night before.

“Please, tell me everyone saw what I saw, because this is the best thing that happened the whole day.” Cristina says,  looking slightly too stunned to understand what she’d just witnessed.

“You mean how Avery and Kepner tried to make a baby in front of us?” Alex asks, looking at them in equal parts disgust and amused.

"When did this happen?” Meredith asks, pointing to the two of them, a little surprised, but the smile in her voice was obvious.

“Um, last night.” And this morning, twice, he wants to say, but refrains himself.

“Do I need to punch him?” Meredith asks, and he narrows his eyes at her. Of course, she’d assumed he’d made the moves on April.

“No, no, you don’t. It was my idea actually,” April chuckles, holding on to his hand, “I kinda jumped him.”

“Damn, Kepner.” Alex laughs, and nudges her shoulder.

“I am proud. Shocked, but proud.” Cristina says.

“Yeah, I’m surprised too, but I’m happy for you two.” She smiles at them, and April grins up at him. He’s happy for them, too.

“I mean, I’m surprised one of you finally grew the balls to make a move, but I’m not surprised it happened,” Alex shrugs at the other doctors, who look confused, “I felt like a constant third wheel when I lived with them. They act like a married couple. It was the worst.”

“Shut up, Alex.” Jackson says, rolling his eyes.

Their bus pulled up as the doctors started to pile on, the conversation shifting from them back to the boards.

“You guys coming?” Alex asks, pulling his bag up the steps.

“No, we have to do dinner with my mom. We’ll fly in tomorrow for the dinner.”

“Meeting the parents. Good luck.” Meredith says to April, offering a hug, as she goes to take her seat.

“Wait, does this mean you’re no longer a virgin? I’m going to have to come up with a new name,” Cristina pretends to think for a while, “How about cherry pop?”

“Goodbye, Cristina.” April calls out, as she pulls him away from the bus, waving to her friends.

“We’ll work on it.” Cristina shouts back, as the door closes.

He looks down at April, and pulls her nearer to his side, bending down to kiss her hair.

“Congratulations.” He mumbles, and she looks up at him, grinning widely.

“I’m so proud of us.” She says.

He leans into kiss her when his mother’s voice interrupts them, “Babies! I’m so proud of you! You’re both so smart. I’m just happy that my grandchildren will be cute andintelligent.”

“Mom!” He yells at her, choking on air, at her mention of grandchildren. What was wrong with her?

“Oh shush, are you ready to go for dinner?” She asks the two of them, and he looks at April. He’s a little surprised at how much desire and lust her sees in her face, and he knows right then, that there’s really only one thing they both want to do.

“Um, mom-”

“Oh, stop, I have eyes. Go off, you two. Just meet me tomorrow for breakfast.” Catherine says, playfully tsking at them.

April stammers, definitely not wanting to cancel any plans with his mother, but he wasn’t about to ruin this opportunity. He was already dragging her hallway through the lobby by the time his mother finishes her sentence.

She suddenly pulls at him, and he wonders why she’s stopping.

“In here.” She says, as she opens the door, and goes in, implying he follow. He quickly takes a look at the sign and does a double take when he notices that it’s the men’s bathroom.

“I can’t wait until we get to the room.” April tells him, seated on the counter of an empty bathroom.

“Really?” He’s pleasantly shocked, but not really. He’s almost giddy.

“Lock the door.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

[ginandweas]

Japril Appreciation Week 2021 ↳ Day 6: Couple tropes

[japrildaily]

Hello Japril shippers! Some of you asked if there is gonna be another edition of Japril Week. I thought about it and decided to make a next one. Even if the story with our beautiful couple is not continuing on the screen, we can still keep them alive. :) So...  Let’s celebrate this week!

Important informations:

Japril Appreciation Week 2019 is from 26th August to 01st September.

You can participate by making gifs, graphics, videos, picspams, writing fanfics, notes etc.

Tag your posts with #japrilweek2019

If you have any question, you can ask me here.

If you don’t want to stick to the plan & you have other idea for each day, don’t hesitate to post it. :)

Schedule:

Day 1: A scene(s) that should get an award

Day 2: Fee choice

Day 3: Hottest kisses/moments

Day 4: AU / A scene you wish happened

Day 5: Favourite reunion

Day 6: Powerful speech/quote

Day 7: Free choice

Spread the world! :)

[i-may-have-a-point]

Review of 14x01 “Break Down the House” and 14x02 “Get Off on the Pain “

“The painful irony for doctors is that we often have to make you sicker in order to heal you.”

There are a few things we can count on with Grey’s Anatomy.  One, the voiceovers are meaningful.  The words that begin and end each episode are intentional.  Two, most seasons (13 was a glaring exception) are written with the end in mind.  Where our characters start is rarely where they finish.  However, where they start is still important.   Three, when the show promises a lighter, happier season, we will always get the exact opposite.  With that said, once I heard the opening voiceover, I knew we should expect pain and lots of it.  And in true Grey’s fashion, they delivered.

Let’s start somewhere easy.  

Ben/Bailey-  Benley spent most of the two hours snacking on the stairs of the main lobby, overanalyzing the construction workers, and discussing shoes. When I heard Ben would be going to the spin-off I wondered what their story would be this season. Season 12 brought us rebellious Ben who sliced people open with clipboards and waited for his wife to chastise him.  Season 13 brought us doormat Bailey who let Catherine Avery intimidate her into thinking she didn’t know how to run a hospital, which of course, led to the terribleness that was the Eliza storyline. So for season 14, I could do with a little less Benley. I adore both of them, but honestly, I would be okay with them staying on the stairs.  

Megan/Nathan/Meredith - Megan’s return is something we have all been waiting for since we heard she was only” presumed dead.”  It could possibly be the least shocking return from the dead in the history of television.  Predictability aside, I appreciate that while this feels like a different version of Addison showing up in her fur coat, Mer and Megan stayed mature in an awkward situation.  They are setting up Mer and Nathan’s relationship much better than last season as well.  In season 13, we collectively cringed each time Nathan asked Meredith out because after fifteen rejections, you’ve got to take a hint, man.  By the time they ended up on the plane together it felt so forced that it was hard to root for them.  Having Nathan show that he is torn between the two is warming me up to Griggs more, though.  And that proposal scene has so much secondhand awkwardness that I literally threw my blanket over my head so I didn’t have to watch.  My guess is that in the end, Megan will choose her son over Nathan and return to Iraq, and Nathan and Mer will find their way back to each other after an entire season of pining from afar.  

Amelia/Owen/Teddy - I thought Teddy was such a nice addition to these two episodes.  She was absolutely correct that Mer operating on Megan is a conflict of interest, and I think Teddy and Owen have great chemistry.  Just like Megan’s return, Amelia’s brain tumor also feels like a new version of an old story - Izzie’s brain tumor.  Are we going to see her freeze her eggs as well?  Because all Owen Hunt has wanted for the last 74 years is a baby, and he clearly has no problem finding a new woman if he needs to.  Staying faithful is not his strong point.  As much as I like Owen and Teddy’s chemistry, I felt that having Owen cheat on his wife who wouldn’t give him a baby yet again, really put a dent in his character.  Giving Amelia a tumor should make for some great dramatic scenes with Owen, Amelia, Mer, etc., but it also pushes the “Owen finally gets a baby” story back another season.  And really, unless Caterina leaves, which I don’t think she will, Amelia will be fine.  Krista said in an interview that she wanted to explain Amelia’s ooc actions (a nice way of saying bad writing) so she decided to give her a tumor.  That’s how bad things got in season 13.  They can only be explained by a brain tumor.  Nice.

Jo/Alex/Deluca - Looks like they quickly kicked Deluca out of the picture, and made it pretty clear this will not be a triangle.  Every time Alex or Jo started talking to each other I so badly wanted one of them to say, “Why I haven’t I seen you in eight weeks?”  Last season they could barely look at each other without getting teary-eyed and mopey, and this season they act like most of s13 didn’t happen.  I guess that is another way Krista is trying to fix the writing.  Just act like it didn’t happen.  I wish we had that luxury.  I am a Jolex fan.  I think they belong together, and I want to see them get rid of Paul and live happily ever after.  Unfortunately, happily ever after usually lasts about five episodes on this show, so the fact that they are so happy in the premiere makes me nervous for where their story will go from here.  Also, I know Jo sleeping with the intern was supposed to be shocking and funny, but it made me cringe.  For a woman who has been with multiple abusive men in the past, Jo going home with a man who is essentially a stranger seemed ooc.  Also, she snuck out of his room in the morning and then had sex with Alex hours later in the Resident’s Lounge.  I hope she showered in between.

Arizona/Carina - Carina is already better than Eliza, but I am not completely sold on this story.  This was also incredibly predictable.  Once she was announced as joining the show, most of the fans called that she was joining for Arizona.  How did we know?  Because that seems to be the only story Arizona can have.  I am all for her finding someone and finding happiness, but I would like to see Arizona, the doctor, again as well.  

April/Jackson/Maggie - Before I say anything else, I have to say that Sarah Drew is incredible.  Her heartbreak was so real and so tangible that it made an unbearable scene beautiful.  

I see this from two angles.  One perspective is the show (Krista? Shonda?) wants to end Japril and has decided to put Jackson with Maggie because (like Arizona) hooking her up with someone seems to be the ultimate goal, while her abilities as a doctor and her character development are ignored.  There were some hints that this may happen.  I think Jackson and Maggie may have been trying to have some moments, but it is so hard to tell.  I have to rewatch their scenes and analyze are they being intentionally awkward or is the awkwardness a result of their lack of chemistry?  Is that a confused look or a thinking look? Was that a smile or a grimace?  With Japril and Maggie/Nathan and Maggie/Deluca their feelings were always clear.  Now whatever they are doing is making their already painful scenes more difficult to watch.  If Jackson and Maggie is something they pursue, they will have a hard time getting the audience on board.  The majority is adamantly against it, and they will never come out from Japril’s shadow.  Japril’s story cannot be matched or recreated, so Jackson/Maggie would eventually become a side couple who just happen to be on a show that people are watching for Griggs or Jolex. As viewers we feel so disrespected that there is no saving that ship in our eyes. From this perspective it was difficult to watch Jackson sit there and not respond.  Or to accept the idea that he would think sex to April could ever be casual.  It was heartbreaking.

Another perspective I see is that Japril may not be completely dead.  I am not at all trying to give out false hope.  I saw what you saw.  But as painful as it was, I am happy that April said what she was feeling and that Jackson was clearly bothered by knowing he had hurt her.  And as much as I wanted him to fight for her, to say something, anything, watching them sit in silence, holding hands made me think about how through everything, the love and respect has remained.  They may be the only couple in the history of the show who have stayed faithful to each other no matter what.  The writers could have destroyed them completely.  We easily could have seen a Jackson/Maggie hook-up that would have broken them in a different way.  Instead, we saw April tell Jackson what she needed to say and Jackson listened.  Writing the scene that way leaves that trust, respect, and love in tact so that it can be revived.  The episode had a couple of other moments made me wonder if they were hints as well.  Maggie’s relationship with Deluca was brought up for the first time in forever, and Maggie seemed pretty excited that he called her beautiful.  Granted, Maggie would get excited about a man offering her a tissue when she sneezes, but again, Grey’s does not write random lines.  Plus, Deluca is officially out of Jolex’s relationship, I believe.  So that is something to keep an eye on.  Also, Maggie and Webber had a clear father/daughter scene where he talked about hoping she got her talent from him.  So, for anyone arguing he isn’t her dad, the show seems to say otherwise.  I thought it was interesting they put that scene in if they have any thoughts of Jackson and Maggie happening.  Krista says April has a complicated journey this season.  I would argue that she has had a complicated journey every season, but for them to openly say it has my wheels turning with ideas.  And of course, these things on top of Jesse and Sarah’s open support and love for Japril leaves me with a flicker of hope.  

They left hope for a reason.  If we are to believe the words that opened and closed the show, then this season will be about breaking things down to build them up better the second time.  

We’ve seen how they are going to break things.  Now let’s see how they fix it.

“The painful irony for doctors is that we often have to make you sicker in order to heal you. If a bone is healed unevenly, we have to re-break it. If a scar is too thick, we have to scrape it off and create a new wound. We break you down to rebuild you. We go to medical school because we want to learn how to fix what’s broken, but we quickly learn that we often have to make things worse before we can make them better. It’s risky, and it’s frightening for surgeons and for patients, but usually, it’s worth it. You get a second chance at life, and we get to be the architects of your second chance. It’s win-win, when it works.”

[copiouscouples]

Japril Appreciation Week - Day 6

Scene that I Can Watch Over and Over Again

Title: Hold You in My Arms

Jackson rocked his newborn daughter in his arms as he waited for her mother to wake up. Today had been a hell of a day. He hadn’t been this scared since… No, he’d never been this scared before. But everything was OK. April was OK. Their daughter was OK.

Jackson nuzzled his daughter with his nose. She blinked at him and opened and closed her tiny rosebud mouth. It was crazy how she was just a few hours old and she was already his world. He just wished April would wake up soon. He couldn’t wait to show her their beautiful daughter.

Minutes ticked by as he continued to rock his daughter. Eventually, April started to rouse. Her eyes opened and she saw him and smiled.

“Hey,” he said. “Want to see your daughter?”

Shaking her head emphatically, she tried to sit up but winced with the pain of exertion.

“April, we’ll come to you. Lie back. You just had surgery. Don’t strain yourself.”

“You’re right,” she replied, her smile strained this time as she settled back against the pillows.

Jackson got up and gently placed their daughter in her arms. He stayed close just in case she needed help. April smiled up at him. “Thank you,” she mouthed.

As April kissed their baby girl on the forehead, he said, “You were very brave today.”

“I had to be,” April said, smiling adoringly at the baby. “I had to do it for her. She was worth it though. She’s so perfect. Look at her. I could just eat her up.”

Jackson reached for April’s hand, lightly caressing it. “Thank you for what you did, but you better not scare me like that again.”