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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years ago

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Normally I open up the Homestuck 2 liveblog with a tongue-in-cheek comment about how reading HS2 is pain, but I just watched the debate and HS2 looks incredible by comparison, so let’s see if this good mood carries over. Looks like we’re on Candyland, too, Candy updates tend to be better (or at least bad in a funny way) than the oft-boring Meat updates, and personally, I think “The Omega Kids fuck around” is the best part of HS2 by yards.

Man, that lamp is almost perfectly positioned to draw a line through the image separating the two scenes (the dialogue for which is on two separate columns), but it’s just the tiniest bit off-center. I wonder if that was intentional and mobile-responsiveness is just a cruel mistress. It’s a cute touch, if so. I suppose the door (and the photos, which are the same height as the door) also serves the same purpose of having the two scenes be sectioned off. I don’t really know a lot about “scene composition” so maybe I should stay in my wheelhouse, but I think it’s divided very nicely

HARRY: and some of us aren't gods and shit. JOHN: i'm detecting a hint of judgement in your voice, there, harry anderson JOHN: don't you enjoy being a part of all this? finally getting to be in the thick of it all?

John, always dense, has not picked up on Harry Anderson’s demotion to Harry. He’s also inserting a lot of his own desires onto Harry, here, too. Vrissy is the one who wanted to be in the thick of it all (thematic idea to stick a pin into to see if it plays out: John should be mentoring Vrissy and Vriska should be mentoring Harry. Some evidence that HS2 is building this idea, but not a lot yet)

HARRY: now YOU look like you're hiding some extra commentary. JOHN: oh, i don't need to burden you with all the bureaucratic stuff, it's boring.

You gotta subscribe to John’s $20/mo Patreon tier for that, Harry.

JOHN: because here i am, sitting in the dugout, same as you. HARRY: in the dugout? JOHN: oh, or, uh... JOHN: what's a metaphor you might like better... HARRY: no, JOHN: i'm like the uhh...understudy. HARRY: dad. no, jesus, you don't have to do this. JOHN: or i got cast in as babysitter number 2 when i had auditioned for, i dunno, HARRY: yeah, please, i got the baseball metaphor. HARRY: i'm not a complete fucking nerd.

John doesn’t really “get” theater kids, I get. It makes me think a little of how John’s dad thought John was massively into clowns. Also, this is a cute.

JOHN: it's been really nice to get to spend so much time with you. HARRY: um. yeah, it's not so bad. HARRY: anyway, before you ruffle my hair or anything, it looks like things are getting a bit heated between the vriskas over there. HARRY: maybe we should offer them a snack to bring the mood back down? JOHN: me, mess up your hair when you’ve worked so hard on that look? i do know you at least that well, harry anderson HARRY: thank god.

This is also cute. Harry maybe the only person in the entire cast of Homestuck or Homestuck 2 to have a semi-normal relationship with his parents.

Speaking of semi-symmetry, the line where Harry says how happy he is to stay home almost lines up perfectly with Vriska being furious that she has to stay home. I wonder again if that’s a coincidence of if someone had a really clever idea that didn’t make it fully intact through editing (or was considered not worth the effort).

VRISKA: How are you so calm right now? Your lusii were training you, right? And you’re a troll, you’re definitely five times stronger than a human! And if you’re my clone, you are way more 8adass than little miss Fussy Fangs.

Vriska is making several false assumptions here, but the most interesting one is that Vrissy is Vriska’s clone. She’s not. She’s descended from Vriska, and takes after Vriska very strongly, but it’s not a one-to-one thing.

VRISSY: 8ut I guess this Situation is Kind of Serious? VRISSY: There’s a whole Plan and Stuff Like that. VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it!

Vriska.jpg

VRISKA: That’s just even more indication that they don’t know what they’re doing! Lalonde and Maryam have had however many sweeps to get older and stupider, 8ut from where I’m standing, it was literally only a few days ago that I was their commander! I am primed for the 8attlefield!

Okay, this line is across from John saying he’s in the dugout. There is absolutely an intentional, if not one-to-one strict, mirroring of these two conversations that’s actually really neat. I should go back to the other times HS2 has had conversations formatted like this to see if this mirroring has been happening all along. It’s a really good use of the format! I like this a lot!

JOHN: so anyway, as you can see, this would have worked just fine! HARRY: no i think karkat’s right. this looks like shit, dad. JOHN: you know, me letting your earlier use of the word "fuck" slide wasn't a blanket approval for all cursing in front of me. HARRY: sorry. HARRY: try not to make such a shit plan, and i won't call it that. JOHN: haha wow.

The other thing I like is the John/Harry dynamic.

HARRY: it's not like i think i'm any better! HARRY: i mean, i still can't believe i told vrissy and them to bring a dead celebrity to school. HARRY: what was i THINKING. JOHN: you were thinking it sounded hilarious! JOHN: but yeah, in hindsight, maybe not the best call. JOHN: maybe it’s genetic? HARRY: yeah. HARRY: i kinda can’t believe we’re all still alive, actually. HARRY: and how did YOU make it this far, being so bad at this? JOHN: i had my friends with me, i guess.

John your friends repeatedly tried to kill you and succeeded at least twice.

He’d spent so long seeing mostly the best parts of Roxy in Harry Anderson. He forgot, he guesses, to look for himself in there, too. And if what they have in common right now is a lack of strategic foresight, hey, he’ll take it.

I’m slowly developing a theory that John is subconsciously the narrator of Candy, given how everything suddenly started going John’s way after Calliope left (and how the narrator seemed to really hate Gamzee last chapter). Remember, John has spoken in narration before in HS1, but never seemed to realize he was doing it. I probably need to essay this theory out at some point, but not now.

Oh, hey! Jane does have goons! And they’ve slightly change the way they draw Rose’s hair, so her head isn’t a perfect circle with lines on it. This looks much better.

JANE: I haven't given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don't know what you're referring to. I'm just a simple business woman. JADE: right with her own talk show JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups! JANE: That's what a business woman is, Jade, dear.

I know that this is supposed to be Capitalism Bad, but “You claim to be a businesswoman when you own a merchant company!”. Jade. Come on. This reads less as Jane going “Of course I’m evil, I’m a CEO” and more that Jade literally doesn’t know what a business woman is.

JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.

Jane you don’t own “territory” do you not know what a businesswoman is either?

JANE: Your ship is in contested airspace. You will land, whereby it will be confiscated by the Royal Human Guard. After that you will be taken into custody.

CONTESTED BY WHOM, JANE? WHO THE FUCK IS THE WAR BETWEEN?!

JADE: shut the fuck up for a minute and look up!

There’s a BIG-ASS spaceship like ten feet in front of you! Did you not notice until Jade pointed it out?

Also why does the Rebellion ship have the Crockercorp prongs on it?

JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society? JADE: i never asked you to do that! JADE: you offered! JADE: so stop calling me ungrateful for not sucking your dick over things i never asked for!

Sorry again, Jade, are you implying that you wouldn’t have given your daughter an education had Jane not offered? “Rose and Jade entrusted their daughter to Jane, who they were at war with” is an enigma of a plot point.

The world is watching her be dressed down by a couple blood traitor rebels, one of which has very prominent dog ears. Jane wonders if either of them are even recognizable to the assembled as two of the old gods. One of her PR managers had recommended that she keep her look as static as possible, so that people can always recognize her as Jane Crocker, Captain of Industry, Creator of Earth C, Maintainer of Peace and Plenty.

Jade has always had dog ears what the fuck? I guess this is supposed to be Jane’s warped thinking.

So, anyway, Kanaya fake-holds Tavvy hostage, Jane buys the threat as real and they build up like Jane is going to sacrifice her own son for PR points but she ultimately stands down and lets everyone go. It’s left intentionally vague whether or not she was always going to do this, or if she didn’t want to do it in front of Jake, or if the presence of Jake stirred something in her that made her change her mind. I like the ambiguity.

This was a very “Homestuck 2″ update. The plot of kind of nonsense, but it’s carried by the character interactions and a bit of cleverness.

#Homestuck 2 #Homestuck 2 liveblog #Homestuck

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grandhotelabyss · 4 years ago

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Speaking of his comparatively small output, Ishiguro said: “I don’t have any regrets about it. In some ways, I suppose, I’m just not that dedicated to my vocation. I expect it’s because writing wasn’t my first choice of profession. It’s almost something I fell back on because I couldn’t make it as a singer-songwriter. It’s not something I’ve wanted to do every minute of my life. It’s what I was permitted to do. So, you know, I do it when I really want to do it, but otherwise I don’t.”

Giles Harvey, “Kazuo Ishiguro Sees What the Future Is Doing to Us”

(A long New York Times profile to crown the publicity campaign for Klara and the Sun, which I will read and review just as soon as it arrives, though I have a foreboding that it won’t add much to Never Let Me Go.

We here at Grand Hotel Abyss are interested in what we have elsewhere called “esoterica in the literary press”—what in other genres of writing would just be called themes or subtexts but which demand a more menacing appellation in the field of journalism, where writing is supposed to be transparent as glass. The undercurrent in Harvey’s piece is dolce far niente, which you can see if you compare how Harvey characterizes Ishiguro’s writing practice—as inspired laziness—to the way it’s described as an almost spiritualized martial art in the Guardian profile [“a process he compares to a samurai sword fight”].

Why this cryptic defense of the indolent? It accompanies an attempt to reinterpret the politics of Ishiguro’s fiction for the present, even though the first novels belong to the early triumphalist neoliberal moment in their skepticism of all organized politics. Never Let Me Go extends this skepticism to the organizations that have taken the place of politics and therefore breaks through into a true critique of neoliberalism. Never Let Me Go speaks to so many on a nearly forbidden channel because it is, more specifically, a critique of the feminine modes of domination that our era brings to the fore [e.g., as I’ve mentioned already, “why won’t men go to therapy?”].

We’ve discussed Nancy Armstrong before in these electronic pages; she wrote the book on the realist novel as a feminine mode of domination, and when she turns to Ishiguro’s science fiction—noting, as did the late Swedish Academy secretary Sara Danius, his odd resemblance both to Jane Austen and to Franz Kafka—she seemingly gets the message:

That is to say, as Kathy verbally replenishes her biologically depleted emotional life by describing all the connections she has made by means of this ruthless logic, what can only be called positive affect pulses back through the web of pathways which end in death. As it does so, her story converts the deaths of individual students into the form of life in common shared even by the dead in Walter Benjamin’s poignant lament for the passing of the traditional village storyteller. As it thus converts loss into connection at once banal and unavailable to normal individuals, Kathy’s story, I would argue, proposes a model of community that does not hark back to a bygone pastoral world, as Benjamin’s does, so much as open up the possibility that even individuals who consider themselves irreplaceable can and must acknowledge the continuous biological substratum on which they are already inscribed.

But Armstrong’s dense theoretical disquisition on a new post-novelistic model of community, as much as Harvey’s journalistic portrait of the artist as neo-social-democrat, doesn’t penetrate to the real Ishiguran esoterica. The author presents himself as a genial bumbling Englishman, a very decent liberal, a kindly multi-genre humanist like Gaiman or Mitchell—see his Amanda-Palmer-quoting daughter—who lacks even the grit in the eye you get from Amis or Rushdie. This is the softer book-club version of what Harvey and Armstrong are selling. Harvey writes,

Ishiguro came of age as a writer in the early 1980s, when market fundamentalism was sweeping Britain and the West, a development that caught him entirely off guard. “I never wanted revolution,” he said of his younger self. “But I did believe we could progress towards a more socialist world, a more generous welfare state. I went a long way into my adult life believing that was the consensus. When I was 24 or 25, I realized that Britain had taken a very different turn with the coming of Margaret Thatcher.” Although his books never explicitly address Thatcher’s neoliberal project, they reflect its dismaying human consequences. For Ishiguro’s characters, not working is not an option, or even a proclivity.

So much in his work is “not an option.” I think of the doomed clones torturing the fly in Never Let Me Go, the pianist enacting his great performance only when thinks he’s alone in The Unconsoled, the painter becoming a fascist because he sympathizes with the poor and oppressed in An Artist of the Floating World. The temptation is to recuperate this for a progressive politics in some watered-down Adornian reading that would show his works’ negativity to subtract from the world the very shape our hopes ought to take so that they become handbooks for utopia once you reverse the writing [I weakly lapsed into this at the end of my essay on Never Let Me Go]. His post-Nobel insistence on his genial liberalism points this way as much as does Armstrong’s summary of his work’s purpose as “provid[ing] a glimpse of what it might be like to live without the misbegotten notion that being a self-contained subject is the best and only way of being fully human,” or Harvey’s quiet argument for social democracy as a system that will allow us to be productively lazy just like the author.

The theme, the subtext, the esoterica is something else, though, something less like socialism in cipher and more akin to a philosophy of quiet retreat, inner exile, beneath the posture of conformity, something like Kierkegaard’s Knight of Faith or Jünger’s Anarch, though let me finish Eumeswil before you quote me on the latter.

The 20th century is dying more slowly than Onegin’s uncle, but it’s still clear what the future holds: corporatist biosurveillance city-states, which will come in “woke” Zuck/Bezos forms with democratic-socialist veneers and “based” Thiel/Musk versions that are more frank, but which will be the same in the end. Why else does even the present political left’s theory of “equity,” as encapsulated in this genuinely disgusting meme, imply the coerced correction of inherent biological inequality? This is the point I’ve been making since my essay on Spike Jonez’s Her in 2014: what the woke and the based want is basically the same thing—the juridical and biological extermination of the human being. Some will advertise this state of affairs as the expansion of humanism and the alternative to neoliberalism Ishiguro says he was hoping for. They will buy and sell our information and our atoms and tell us it’s freedom, they will bribe us a pittance to be serfs and call it socialism, and like Kathy and Ryder we will do our best to play our part with pride and decency. It is to this future that Ishiguro’s best novels offer a guide.

Further reading: check the Kazuo Ishiguro tag over at the main site for me on A Pale View of Hills, An Artist of the Floating World, Never Let Me Go, The Buried Giant, and a first response to Ishiguro’s Nobel. Confession: I’ve never read When We Were Orphans; I should have by now, but I know so little about its historical setting and am always intimidated by the word-problem aspect of detective novels, so I’ve put it off.)

#kazuo ishiguro #giles harvey #nancy armstrong #neoliberalism #fiction #literature #science fiction #english literature

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reel-hannibal · 5 years ago

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Reel Hannibal 2019 Masterlist

Happy Hanniween, Fannibals! Thanks so much to everyone who participated despite the unexpected hiccups - we really appreciated your patience <3

And now, on this perfect Hannibal holiday, here is the masterlist of all the wonderful entries for Reel Hannibal 2019!

Title: all fools in love Creator: @slowestdive Inspired by: Pride and Prejudice Summary: A Pride & Prejudice AU featuring Will as Elizabeth, Hannibal as Mr. Darcy, and really just an excuse to draw these two being utterly in love with each other in period outfits Art: HERE

Title: The Real Husbands of Sarmatia Creator: Tigerprawn Inspired by: The Real Housewives of [...] Summary: Previously on The Real Husbands of Sarmartia: Galahad, 29 “Tristan?” Galahad makes a point of rolling his eyes for the camera. “I mean, okay, he’s good at his job. I’ll give him that. But why does he spend the whole day in those short shorts? Okay, so it gets hot around here. But then why doesn’t he get a haircut if it’s so hot? Well, I guess it is hot and he’s out by the pool… getting wet. With the pool water.”Galahad’s phone bleeps. “Wait…” He frowns at his phone. “What the fuck is goat yoga?”::Close up of goats bleating:: Fic and Banner: HERE

Title: Spacedust Creator: @victorineb Inspired by: Stardust Summary: Adam has wished for two things in his entire life: to marry Beth, and to visit the stars. When he and Beth see a falling star one night, he sees a chance to have both at once, and promises to find the star and bring it back to his beloved so that she will see that he's worthy of her hand. The star, though, has different plans... A Spacedogs/Stardust AU, in which stars can talk, men can fly, and true love can be found in the strangest of places. Fic and Banner: HERE

Title: Underground Lights Creator: @fhimechan Inspired by: Hercules Summary: Once upon a time, Will traded his soul for Alana's life. Luckily, Chilton wants to save (and marry) him. An Hercules AU where Will is Meg, Hannibal is Hades, Chilton is Hercules and True Love always wins. Fic: HERE

Title: Sweet dreams Creator: @acheforhim-fic Inspired by: Black Mirror Summary: Tortured by nightmares, Will Graham gets a Nocturnal Companion – an AI who will share and moderate his dreams, and hopefully grant him some relief. (You already know whose digital clone the AI matches him with.) Fic: HERE

Title: Cannibal’s Labyrinth Creator: @whispers-in-the-chrysalis Inspired by: Pan’s Labyrinth Art: HERE

Title: Unsinkable Creator: @cinnamaldeide Inspired by: Titanic Summary: Detective Graham is tasked to shed some light on a serie of suspicious disappearances of both first and second class passengers happening aboard the Titanic. When Will finds out that head chef Hannibal Lecter is the culprit, the ocean liner proves to be not unsinkable after all. Aesthetic Moodboard: HERE

Title: Ultimate EliasChicken and HanniHorse Creator: @insanelyartful Inspired by: Ultimate Chicken Horse Summary: Featuring Grigg as Bunny, Elias as Chicken, Cliff as Elephant, d’Artagnan as Squirrel, Adam Raki as Raccoon, Hannibal as Horse, Will as Sheep, Nigel as Iguana, and Aiden Galvin as Monkey. Art: HERE

Title: Once Upon A Cannibal Creator: @thesilverqueenlady Inspired by: Once Upon A Time Summary: Will Graham is settling down to have a nice, quiet little birthday to himself when a girl knocks on his front door. "Hi!" she says. "My name is Abigail, and I'm your daughter." Fic: HERE

Title: Will Graham And The Seven Dogs Creator: @stratumgermanitivum Inspired by: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Summary: Once upon a time, there had been a prince. Of course, that was quite a few years back, now, and very few people remembered him. As the years passed, King Chilton grew more and more frustrated with the boy, and the boy with him. And so it was that on the eve of the boy’s eighteenth birthday, Chilton drew up an order to have him committed - for his own good, of course - trapped in the dungeon under Chilton’s exclusive care until his mind was healed. Or until Chilton had no more use for his talents. However, when the castle guards came for the boy, they found the room empty, the window open. Long live King Chilton. Fic: HERE

Title: The Mummy Creator: @ishxallxgood Inspired by: The Mummy Summary: Adam Raki is a librarian, and he's damn proud. He has been obsessed with Ancient Egypt and the Legend of Imhannitep and his consort Anck-Will-Namun since he was a child. When his sister comes across a priceless artifact, Adam cannot resist the pull of Hamunaptra to uncover the secrets plaguing his dreams since he was a child. Fic: HERE

Title: Nakama Creators: @fragile-teacup and @beatricenius Inspired by: Emma Summary: Hannibal Lecter is handsome, clever, rich, Omegan... and quite oblivious to the fact that he is hopelessly in love with his brusque Alpha mentor, Will. Will Graham has always looked out for Hannibal, occasionally despairing of his young protégé's spoiled nature but valuing his companionship just the same. They are the best of friends. But when Hannibal finds himself in the grip of a late first heat, both men are forced to confront feelings which neither are prepared for... Nakama, a Regency A/B/O romance based on Emma by Jane Austen. Fic and Art: HERE

Title: The Game Begins Creators: @insanelyartful Inspired by: Dead by Daylight Summary: While for everyone else, the world seems to be ending; for four very different beings, everything is only beginning. For Will, well, at least social niceties aren't his top priority anymore. For Hannibal, it has opened up a whole new realm of possibilities. And though Nigel wishes it were the end, it's not the end for him quite yet. Then there's Aiden, who sooooo shouldn't be dealing with this during the apocalypse. Fic: HERE

Again, all of our thanks and appreciation to everyone who participated in the 2019 Reel Hannibal! We were thrilled to see so many gorgeous AUs and we hope that everyone had as much fun as we did.

If you haven’t checked out these amazing Reels, please do so and shower these Fannibals in cookies, comments, and kudos, because they really deserve them.

See you next year in April for Reel Hannibal 2020!!!

You can also check out: Reel Hannibal on AO3 | Reel Hannibal on Twitter | Reel Hannibal 2018 Masterlist

#reel hannibal #reel hannibal 2019 #reel hannibal masterlist #hannibal

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 6 years ago

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Spider-Man: Life Story #2 Thoughts

Very mixed feelings....again

SPOILERS

Let me get this out the way Bagley is the man on this book. Beautiful art work, beautiful colouring, the works. I especially love him drawing a MJ reminiscent of his 90s take on her but with more modern art flourishes.

Now onto the nitty gritty.

For the last issue I said I had mixed feelings because the premise for Life Story seemed at odds with what was advertised.

Reading ahead for the solicits for the series it became clear that what we were apparently going to get was the events of Spider-Man’s life playing out in real time wherein each of the stories still happened in the decade/time period they originally occurred in but Peter himself would just be the age he’d realistically have been. For example if Peter was 15 in 1962 then in theory when he deals with Kraven’s Last Hunt in 1987 he’d be 40.

Reading this issue though...even THAT isn’t what this book actually is.

What this book actually is... is Chip Zdarsky’s fanfiction.

It’s just a general Alternate Universe.

It’s not even a What If wherein you presume history to be the same up to a point of divergence then explore the repercussions of that divergence.

Like you’d think wouldn’t you that the changes in Spider-Man’s history would be as the natural result of either him aging in real time or him or at least the natural repercussions of dealing with real life history more realistically. Like you’d have thought in the last issue Norman Osborn going to jail would be because of the Vietnam War in some way.

Nope.

He goes to jail because Peter just decides in this universe to spill the beans on him.

Even before that Peter’s history was different because how and when Norman confronted Peter about his identity was radically different as well, not to mention Gwen learning his secret.

Gwen is perhaps the centrepiece of why this is just fanfiction and nothing more.

Zdarsky is very plainly a Gwen stan and you can tell from this as well as his OTHER alternate universe in his Spec run where he had Gwen and Peter also end up together.

So here Gwen and Peter got married and were married for a long while and that’s the status quo we’re jumping into.

Gag me.

But it goes deeper than that.

I’ve never been impressed by Zdarksy as a Spider-Man writer and this issue is perhaps a microcosm of why.

This story, this series had a central premise but that’s not the real premise the real premise is for this to be just Chip Zdarksy randomly remixing and changing pieces of Spider-Man’s history anyway he desires.

Like He’s going to vaguely hit certain beats per decade.

In the 1960s Norman will find out who he is and Flash will join the army.

In the 1970s Gwen will die and maybe MJ and Peter will hook up and there will be clones.

In the 1980s if the cover is to be believed he will be buried alive.

In the 1990s we’re probably getting clones.

But it’s superficial. It’s hitting the beats in spirit but not in sunbstance.

Gwen for instance does not die via a bridge, a Goblin and a misplaced webline.

She dies because Harry (not Norman) throws a bomb at a clone of Gwen stuck in a test tube who was actually the real Gwen.

The issue’s quality honestly very much depends upon how far you personally are willing to buy this AU as being just randomly different.

Because of the false advertising it’s curtailing my enjoyment for sure.

But more than this my enjoyment is curtailed because an awful lot of the changes I strongly suspect are not the result of Zdarsky actively choosing to change things but Zdarksy simply being a crap writer and not understanding the characters in general. Also just being bad at common sense things in his writing.

Let’s go through some of those things:

· Mary Jane getting drunk. Nope. Sorry. Mary Jane was all about her party girl facade and keeping people at a distance, she’d never have compromised her cover and potentially allowed herself to lose control like that. She loved to party and yeah probably enjoyed alcohol but in a controlled manner

· MJ chewing out Peter for allowing Flash to die. WTF was that? MJ knew Peter was Spider-Man and was alternatively sympathetic towards him or else repressed that knowledge because it upset her. It took the Puma invading his home and endangering her life very directly after YEARS for her to finally let that out. Here she sips one too many martinis and it slips out? Not to mention MJ NEVER blamed Peter for Gwen’s death nor Captain Stacy’s. She understood that he couldn’t do everything even with his power and that was when she knew Peter was the guy who literally snapped Gwen’s neck by accident. Does she blame Iron Man and Giant Man for also allowing Flash to die. How does she, or Peter in fact, know Peter would’ve been in Flash’s platoon to protect him in the first place?

· MJ being engaged to Harry. ARE YOU SERIOUS! MJ had COMMTMENT ISSUES why the fuck would she be engaged to him! She also never regarded their relationship as serious at all and broke up with him FFS! This is like screwing up Peter’s origin!

· MJ and Peter tolerate Harry’s drug abuse. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what?????????????????? Peter ‘guilt/responsibility�� Parker...just sits back and allows his best friend to kill himself with drugs? Mary Jane does that too? MJ whom it was implied in the Drug Trilogy KNEW about Harry’s problem and drifted away from him because of it? WTF Zdarksy.

· MJ is...a DJ...Um....huh? I suspect all of the above can be explained via Zdarksy adopting a simplistic, superficial and frankly possibly somewhat sexist attitude to MJ’s ‘party girl’ label

· Why is Norman still in jail? We know from Marvel Knights he had a contingency in place if he was ever jailed wherein Aunt May would be kidnapped and Peter thus forced to liberate him, a plan he had in place since shortly after he found out Peter’s identity. In this universe Norman knew Peter’s secret for ages BEFORE acting on it so he had plenty of time to dream up that plan but here the plan he made AFTER he was jailed was to get his son to hire a professor to create a clone of himself upon which to pin the blame for his crimes???? That doesn’t even make sense since it doesn’t exonerate him!

The general public would just find out that in spite of the overwhelming evidence the Green Goblin wasn’t Norman Osborn just someone who looked like and had his exact genetics (could genetic science even detect a difference between an original or a clone back in the 1970s?). How does that exonerate him? Wouldn’t someone question if maybe Norman just had the clone created after the fact which is exactly what he did?

Why even go to the trouble of doing that, you might as well have someone with plastic surgery or a mask look like Norman Osborn and reveal they framed Norman for some reason. Or have ANYONE ELSE dress up as the Goblin instead, like Harry for instance instead of having him be...ugh...the Black Goblin...In Hobgoblin Lives Macendale revealing he wasn’t the original Hobgoblin created enough doubt that his case stood a better chance surely Norman could pull the same trick...you know....like he has in canon...twice...Also what was Norman’s plan anyway, the clone of himself gets jailed then he gets free and then...he goes back to being the Goblin...what?????????????

· Norman considering Peter his true heir makes no sense. Yeah eventually Norman dreamed up that scheme but it took him years and multiple defeats by Peter whilst feeling harry was a failure. In this universe none of that history is there, he even respects Harry to a degree so why would he feel Peter was the better choice for his heir?

· Norman dreamed up the clone scheme because he wanted to shatter Peter’s sense of identity. If his hang up was Peter would make a great heir for himself back during the Clone Saga or even after why the fuck did he try to recruit the real Peter instead of just creating a clone for himself? Because to Norman a clone is genuinely a lesser, not a true person at all. So why make a clone Peter in the first place?

· Why do the clones of Peter and Gwen adopt the last names ‘Parker’. Surely a guy called ‘Ben Parker’ who looks just like Peter Parker, who’d dead uncle was Ben Parker, who is also married to a woman who looks like Peter Parker’s dead wife, named after the mother of Peter Parker’s dead mother-in-law would raise some questions. Was Zdarsky really so adverse to just calling them ‘Ben and Helen Reilly’

· I get that they are both clones but the implication here is that Ben and ‘Helen’ are now in a relationship. Why? Ben couldn’t possibly have all of Peter’s up to date memories and Helen was presumed to be the real Gwen ever since she and Peter got married (I’ll explain why in a moment). That means from Helen’s point of view the man she married and was in love with was Peter and not Ben and from Peter’s point of view, sure he married a clone and not the real deal but...so what? From MJ’s point of view in the 1990s Clone Saga most of her relationship with Peter, including their marriage had actually been with the clone not the real Peter, but he was the person she had that history with and was in love with. Helen IS the woman Peter loved and married and she even implies as much when she states because she has all of Gwen’s memories she and MJ will always be friends. So why are she and Peter breaking up? Why is Peter acting like the woman he actually married and had many years of matrimony with dead when in effect he loved two identical women and one of them died. He’s acting like he’s a widower and Helen is meaningless which doesn’t make any sense. Same with Helen, she’s just hooking up with Ben because he’s a clone like her and is nearly identical to her husband but...he isn’t. Peter is the man she loves, Ben hasn’t got all his memories or anything. It’s just a mess

· What was Warren’s plan here? Replace the real Gwen with a clone, put her in a test tube and then somehow this will allow him to be with her? I know Warren is nuts but his mania when it comes to Gwen always made sense within his warped logic

· Warren cloning Gwen and giving her away doesn’t even make sense. Warren only cloned Gwen because she died, he wanted to in a sense bring her back to life. He never tried to clone her when she was alive and practically engaged with Peter. He didn’t even like the idea of any version of Gwen potentially being with Peter, which is why he created a clone of himself to hook up with the Gwen clone he created. Here he’s created a clone of Gwen to what? Trick Peter into marrying the fake while he gets to keep the real one in mint condition in a tank? What??????????????????

· The reason I say Helen must have been the one who married Peter is because there is no way in Hell Warren would have walked the real Gwen down the aisle to marry Peter. Not ever. But if that is the intention...it makes no sense

· Why is Warren nice to Peter? In those silver age stories he was gruff and not that nice to him a lot of the time precisely because he was jealous of him. What, because he has the real Gwen that means he’s okay with Peter?

· Doc Ock is a reformed bad guy because in spite of the age difference and the fact that he’s nearly died multiple times (like I dunno in the accident that gave him his powers in the first place) marrying Aunt May and having a heart attack made him change his ways. Um...no...No, no, no those things would absolutely not cause Doc Ock to change his ways. He never really loved Aunt May, he just had affection for her because of his own Mommy issues and he’s nearly died countless times. Like surely the fact that he remained a villain after all those times, including his near death misses across Superior Spider-Man and Slott’s run, barely sort of reforming right at the end of ASM #800, is proof Doc Ock isn’t the guy who stops to smell the roses after a near miss. Not to mention in this universe I guess Spider-Man didn’t stop the wedding in time so Otto actually married Aunt May and then...was content to just wait until she died to get that island she inherited....

· Zdarsky apparently loved those Marc Webb movies because he not only wrote Gwen closer to Emma Stone, not only shipped her with Peter, but also leaned in on the Osborn sickness thing and decided to borrow the whole ‘Peter is a better son than you Harry’ angle from the Raimi movies too. Because why use the real canon I guess

· Why does anyone blame Peter for not helping Flash when fucking Iron Man and Giant Man are in Vietnam too?

· Why kill Flash? Again, wasn’t this series supposed to be Spider-Man’s life just in real time? You’ve just blown up all those Hobgoblin and Agent Venom stories playing out in real time because you wanted to do something arbitrarily different that also wanted to pretend like MJ would be super angry about Flash dying because Peter could have saved him...somehow...what?

· I’m sorry but...how the Hell is the Vietnam War still happening if Iron Man and Giant Man are involved? In the actual 1960s-1970s you had to suspend your disbelief about heroes involved in the war because realistically they would have altered it’s outcome, much as Superman could’ve ended WWII in a day. But in this AU Captain America, Iron Man AND Giant Man, super powered beings with immense intelligence and tech resources are actively involved in the war. Why the fuck are the Viet Cong still a thing at that point. I’m not trying to diss the real life Viet Cong, but realistically they might be able to fend off the then contemporary united states military but IRON MAN too? No absolutely not, Stark would’ve found a way to deal with them very easily just as Doctor Manhattan did in Watchmen

· Why is Iron Man even involved? Wasn’t Tony Stark’s whole origin about him realizing weapons are bad, war profiteering is bad, it hurts everyone. Why then is he using his weapon of war, the Iron Man armour, to help fight the Viet Cong??????????????????

· And on top of all this shit...the timeline doesn’t even make sense. This is essentially the Clone Saga/the Death of Gwen Stacy reference right? Okay cool...the latter happened in 1973 and the former in 1975...so why the fuck does this issue happen in 1977 with the epilogue in 1978????????????????????

I guess if you just entirely turn your brain off and treat this as akin to the Ultimate Universe where things are different for the sake of being different and all the riffing on the original history is fanservice then it’s enjoyable enough.

But as advertised, as obviously intended...its immensely problematic.

And frankly, once and for all this issue alone has convinced me Zdarksy is not a good Spider-Man writer because he clearly does not get these characters.

P.S. The redesigned costume looked...nice....but again it plays into the ‘this is different for the sake of being different’ thing rather than actually being a change that’d be natural due to the alterations in history.

P.P.S. Once again the real life historical aspects of the issue aren’t really relevant to the primary plot of the issue, and are window dressing at best. Actually they’re even more window dressing that issue #1

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ty-talks-comics · 6 years ago

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Best of Marvel: Week of April 17th, 2019 - WEEK OF ZDARSKY!

Best of this Week: Spider-Man: Life Story #2 - The 70s - Chip Zdarsky, Mark Bagley, Andrew Hennessy, Frank D'Armata and Travis Lanham

War destroys everything, the men and women that fight in them and the relationships between those who are left behind.

This issue was a roller coaster ride, starting off very high and happy-ish and tumbling down the road that leads to Peter Parker’s inevitable destitution. It was emotional and refreshing to see the Marvel Universe evolve with time, seeing characters grow up and the world slowly build in a decent amount of time that allows for events to just happen without cramming.

Mark Bagley continues to amaze as, though his action art was better in the previous issue, with more dynamic scenes being shown, the character art was amazing in this issue. He takes his time with the scenes and is very attentive to detail. Though I HATE Reed’s goatee, it is still very distinct and comes off as something I could see Reed rocking in his mid 40s - 50s. Harry looks like a haggard young man, he’s gone through the ringer trying to keep Oscorp alive and the effects on his health show. Heck, even Peter’s face, after an argument with Mary Jane, where he doesn’t shave the next morning is so AMAZING to me.

Chip Zdarsky is killing it with his Spider-Man work and somehow even found a way to make a mini-Clone Saga happen without making things feel hokey and stupid. I hope this book gives him or other creators opportunities outside of “Marvel Presents” to do stories by the decade with characters. I want to know more of Captain America’s involvement in the Vietnam War, I want to see a dirtbag Iron Man profiting from the continuation of the war which ended in 1975 in our world, but has stretched into 1977 in theirs.

Spoilers Below, but I highly, HIGHLY recommend this book.

It’s been three years since the death of Flash Thompson who went to fight in the Vietnam War and things have gotten more intense on the battlefront with Captain America going rogue and saving lives on both sides and the entry of Giant Man on the side of Iron Man and the American Army. Public opinion is still divided with Reed Richards, sporting an awful goatee, taking the side of Captain America and Peter Parker stating that those with the power have a responsibility to help and before the argument can take a nasty turn, Otto Octavius, now reformed after a heart attack makes him reevaluate his life, steps in to calm both men.

Peter’s taken a job working with the two genius scientists as a Mechanical Engineer, he’s married the love of his life, Gwen Stacy and his life is going well, but he still can’t help but think that he could have done more in lieu of Flash’s death. After a conversation with his wife and Professor Miles Warren, about his opposing opinions to Dr. Richards, Pete prepares to go to a nightclub to catch up with Mary Jane and Harry Osborn. The latter of whom had recently met with his father in prison and learned some shocking news, causing him to get stoned at the club, leaving a drunk Mary Jane to chastise Peter for not using his powers to help Flash, revealing that she’s known he’s been Spider-Man for years now.

This scene may be one of the best in the issue as Bagley shows why his faces are some of the most expressive in comics, using a wide range to convey happiness and reassurance to bitter dejection and anger. Mary Jane in particular is stunningly beautiful and stands out as a definite representation of late 70s fashion and beauty.

Things only go further downhill as another argument with Reed causes Peter to lash out, alluding to Sue Storm having left Reed for Namor, resulting in him getting slapped and walking out, quitting the job. Hoping to get a new job working with Professor Warren, he heads towards the lab just as a new Black Goblin attacks the lab, revealing clone tubes that the Professor had been keeping secret that contained clones of Norman Osborn, Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. In a rage, Black Goblin unmasks himself and Peter, yelling about how Norman only ever cared for Peter and how Peter ruined his life.

In the end, it’s all too much for Harry as he destroys the tubes, killing “Gwen” and “Norman”, but leaving “Peter” alive. Warren, hysterical after his Gwen is killed, reveals that Peter’s Gwen was really a clone and the real Gwen was the one that died in the explosion, shocking everyone. Harry runs off and not too long after, Clone Gwen and Clone Pete get new identities and a new chance at life while real Peter is left alone, his life in shambles. No friends, no job, nothing, except for Mary Jane’s shoulder to cry on.

---------------------------------------------------

You know your life as a superhero is screwed up when The Punisher thinks you’ve turned to his side.

Runner Up: Daredevil #4 (Legacy #616) - Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho and Clayton Cowles

Following his manhandling at the hands of Detective Cole North, an injured Daredevil is rescued by Frank Castle and whisked away to one of his secret hideouts. What follows is one of the most cathartic tear downs between two diametrically opposed heroes that I have read in a while.

Frank Castle is a broken man. He’s a Marine who witnessed the worst of war only to come home and see the worst of man as his family was gunned down, turning him into the murderous psychopath we know him to be. Matt Murdock is a guilty Catholic who has so much sin weighing on his heart that his only way to atone is by seeing the good in people and doing what he believes to be good, never killing any criminal he comes across.

Frank and Matt have fought each other or worked together for decades, always crossing paths that lead to the moral quandary of whether it’s wrong to kill or better to eliminate a problem altogether, but with Daredevil possibly having taken the life of a petty criminal, Frank sees this as Daredevil taking a step into the light.

Zdarsky does a great job at crafting his own Frank Castle/Daredevil dynamic, with Frank acting more judgemental of Daredevil than normal and it is perfect. He calls Daredevil a phony for portraying himself as a good guy all while breaking the law and criminals with glee on his face as he fights. Frank believes he’s always seen Daredevil for what he is, but that DD himself won’t give up the act and Matt only gets progressively more pissed off. Things reach a head after Frank kills a criminal that Matt coaxed him to let go of after he picks up a gun and tries to kill them. Matt breaks free of the restraints he was bound to and leaps at Frank in anger.

Checchetto really struts his stuff with the art this issue and shows improvement from the last time he drew these characters back when Greg Rucka was writing Punisher. The first fight has a lot of weight to it as strikes are made and things are thrown around in close, tight shots. The physicality of both Frank and Daredevil is ratcheted up to 11 as both men look to be in their peak forms, especially when Daredevil uses two pistols akimbo, showing Frank the damage that he could do if he decided to go Frank’s route and use guns. Daredevil would be near unstoppable and it shows. This might some of Checchetto’s best panel to panel work that I have ever seen as even the flat ones feel dynamic as hell.

In the end, Daredevil defeats Frank who muses at the thought of a Punishing Daredevil, a being much more effective than he ever could be. Matt knocks him out and saves him from the fire that their fight caused, telling us that becoming Frank is his greatest fear and that that’s what’s been preventing him from admitting to himself that he killed that criminal and that while he couldn’t bring him back to life, he could at least make things right by continuing his mission.

This is the Daredevil I love and seeing him finally let it out and admit that he’s not perfect and he will make mistakes, even grave ones is a breath of fresh air. I also loved that Frank wasn’t the powerhouse/unstoppable monster that he is pretty much everywhere else. (see The Punisher, War of the Realms: Punisher) Though, I do love these representations, it is good to see him low for a bit.

Zdarsky truly does it again, high recommend!

#comics #marvel #marvel comics #spiderman #peter parker #gwen stacy #miles warren #harry osborn #mary jane watson #the 70s #chip zdarsky #mark bagley #daredevil #punisher #matt murdock #frank castle #marco checchetto #sunny gho

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getinthehandbasket · 6 years ago

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An Education in Modern Filmography (pt 1 - Star Wars)

Intro Part 2 Part 3 Darcy and Steve make themselves comfortable on one of the couches in the common area, Darcy tucking her feet under Steve. He raises an eyebrow at her, amused.

“What?” She asks, “If we’re going to marathon, my feet are going to get cold.”

Tony ignores them, addressing the house instead. “Jarvis, queue up Star Wars.” He pauses for half a second to consider Steve. “Machete Order. No Phantom Menace.” Tony shudders a little.

“Oh, come on! If we’re going to marathon the whole thing, do it properly!” Darcy exclaims.

Tony levels her with a look. “Two words: Jar-Jar.”

Darcy shudders, earning a strange look from Steve. “Good point.”

“Jar-Jar?” Steve asks her.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” she says.

The lights dim as Tony takes a seat, and the opening crawl starts across the screen.

It is a period of civil war…

----

Slowly the others trickle in, one or two at a time.

Jane comes up from the labs, wondering why her intern (“assistant,” Darcy always insists, “I’m getting paid now”) never made it down to the labs that morning. (She, too, wonders why there’s no Phantom Menace, until Tony and Darcy say as one, “Jar-Jar.” Jane nods in understanding. “Still, we get less of the kick-ass Queen….” Darcy detects a note of nostalgia from her friend.)

Bruce follows Jane after a while, also wondering why the labs are looking somewhat bare. As it’s Thursday, everyone should be working - in the labs or elsewhere - but neither Jane, Tony, nor the spitfire Jane calls her intern have been in the labs for an hour, if at all. He volunteers to order pizza for everyone several hours in.

Clint and Natasha come in from sparring near the end of Empire. Clint snarks through the rest of the marathon, ignoring Natasha’s sporadic protestations. “Shut up, Barton. I’ll make you, you know I will.”

Thor doesn’t quite understand the story, since he only walks in during Attack of the Clones. Still, he and Jane curl up on a loveseat while he stage-whispers questions to her, who does her best to explain what’s going on. Pepper finally makes her way to the now-crowded common area during the opening scrawl of The Return of the Jedi. She sits down next to Tony and leans her head on his shoulder for the entirety of the movie.

#Movie Night at Avengers Tower #An Education in Modern Filmography #fanfiction #fanfic #darcy/steve #darcy/bucky #darcy/steve/bucky #WinterShieldShock #Eventually #NOT canon compliant after CA:TWS #Avengers #mcu #MCU fic

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multiverseforger · 4 years ago

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Kaine is the Jackal's first temporary success to clone Peter Parker but the flawed cloning process is left deformed and mentally unstable. Kaine is later identified by the Jackal as "Parker 3.0";[4] the implications of this are unknown. The Jackal discards Kaine because the clone starts showing early signs of the degeneration process, and Kaine experiences a strong feeling of rejection similar to that between a father and son. Kaine realizes the partial degeneration also caused a slight amplification of the powers he "inherited" from Peter. Not only has his strength, speed, and agility been copied from the original Peter's, but he gains a "precognitive sense" that shows him flashes of the future (an amplified version of Peter's spider-sense). He also possesses a "Mark of Kaine", a burning touch that he uses to leave eaten away hand prints on his victims' faces. Though never explicitly stated within the story, in a later interview former Spider-Man editor/writer Glenn Greenberg revealed that the Mark of Kaine was meant to be another analog of one of Spider-Man's powers, namely the ability to cling to walls.[5]

The Jackal goes on to create a new, better clone which would be known as Ben Reilly. When the Jackal uses Reilly against Peter, the ensuing battle leaves Reilly and the Jackal for dead. They both manage to survive; the Jackal places himself into suspended animation in a cloning pod to awaken later; and Reilly leaves New York.[volume & issue needed]

Behind the scenes, Norman Osborn manages to have the files on Ben and Peter switched, so the Jackal would think Peter is the clone and Ben is the real deal. Consulting the Jackal's files, Kaine also believes the same, so he follows Ben through his "exile". For a time, he finds love in the arms of police detective Louise Kennedy of Salt Lake City, until he discovers she is working for the criminals. This revelation, coupled with Kaine's increased cellular degeneration, pushes Kaine even further towards insanity and he kills Louise. Kaine continues to stalk Ben, making it appear as though Janine Godbe, Ben's new love, has committed suicide. Kaine, hoping to give the man who he thinks is the clone (Peter) the life he could never have, frames Ben for a number of murders he commits since both men have the same fingerprints.[volume & issue needed]

Later flashback scenes reveal that Kaine worked as a bounty hunter for a time, being briefly dispatched to eliminate Kraven the Hunter. Kaine also experienced a 'vision' via his enhanced spider-sense that Kraven would kill him in the future. Despite the two engaging in a brutal confrontation — Kraven even briefly mistook Kaine for Spider-Man due to a vague recognition of Spider-Man's template in Kaine — both survive despite Kaine burying Kraven alive. Kraven dug himself out after three days, but his friend and manservant was killed by Kaine during the fight.[6][7][8][9]

Trial of Peter ParkerEdit

Peter Parker is eventually tried and convicted for Kaine's crimes because they have the same fingerprints. Although Peter goes to prison for some time, Ben Reilly arranges to take his place in prison.[10]

Kaine wanders New York, defeating and executing scores of Spider-Man's enemies, including the Grim Hunter and Doctor Octopus(although both would later be resurrected). They grow fearful of him and form coalitions to protect themselves proactively—including the short-lived 'Sinister Seven'—but meet with little success.[11]

Peter wants Kaine to stand for what he has done, but Kaine initially refuses. The two fight and end up getting dragged into a mock-trial where Spider-Man is on trial, Kaine is his defense attorney, Carnage is the prosecutor, several Ravencroft inmates are the jury, and a powerful being known as Judas Traveller is the judge. During the one-sided trial, Kaine tries to physically fight off all those who are against Spider-Man before Traveller returns them to their previous place of battle, declaring the proof of a lost soul such as Kaine willing to defend Spider-Man is proof of his innocence.[12]

After an incident involving a superpowered villainess named Stunner, a weakened Kaine still refuses to confess to his crimes. Spider-Man responds by knocking Kaine out and webbing him up before heading to the courthouse. Kaine reawakens before they arrive and struggles again with Spider-Man in refusing to confess. At this point, Kaine admits that he's done everything to protect Peter's life and reveals that he is the first clone of Peter, now partially degenerated. Spider-Man decides that if Kaine will not reveal the truth, then he will reveal his true identity to the entire courtroom and end everything. Kaine pleads for Peter not to do this and eventually gives into revealing the real truth about the murders and the "Mark of Kaine".[13]

Maximum ClonageEdit

After Peter Parker gives in to the news of being a clone and Ben Reilly is the true individual, he allies himself with the Jackal. Kaine refuses to let him throw his life away. He confronts the Jackal with the full intent of destroying him, when the Jackal manipulates his mind once more by leading Kaine to believe he will be cured of the degeneration process. Once Jackal reveals he has lied again, Kaine leaves feeling dejected. He goes back to Mary Jane Watson for answers, and after a conversation of power and responsibility, Kaine returns to the Jackal's lab in time to assist Ben in a battle against numerous Spider-clones. In the ensuing battle, Spidercide impales him with a spike taken from nearby machinery, seriously injuring and possibly killing him. The Jackal showed a moment of fatherly concern for Kaine, asking why after everything, Kaine would save him. Kaine dies telling Jackal 'You gave me life' and Jackal lets go of him indifferently, calling him "pathetic" and a waste of bad chemicals for saving his life over such a simple reason, but then eyes a regeneration pod, and remarks "but even bad chemicals can be put to good use".[volume & issue needed]

RedemptionEdit

During Ben Reilly's time as Spider-Man, some of the world's strongest fighters are pitted against one another in a fighting competition called the Great Game, a fighting tournament in which wealthy people wager on the fighters for their amusement.[volume & issue needed]

One of the Game's main sponsors, James Johnsmeyer, finds the pod containing the revived Kaine, and decides to initiate him into the competition, sending the Rhino to fight him. After Kaine's refusal and escape, thanks to temporary partner Shannon, Johnsmeyer still attempts to involve Kaine by allowing other Game competitors to attack him (Joystick and Polestar). Spider-Man interferes in the skirmish and gets sidetracked by Joystick and Polestar while Kaine puts a near-fatal beating on Rhino and escapes with Shannon. Before they are able to get away, Spider-Man manages to tag Shannon with a tracer and he pursues them once Polestar and Rhino are taken into custody.[14]

He finds them moments before the police, but after an incident that threatened to kill the officers, Kaine and Shannon escape again. This time, Kaine's destination is Johnsmeyer's headquarters. Spider-Man finds them once again after Kaine manages to single-handedly destroy all of Johnsmeyer's rooftop security defenses, but once inside, Johnsmeyer reveals that Shannon — who was still working for Johnsmeyer during the entire ordeal — has been manipulating and deceiving Kaine. Kaine, not wanting to become a puppet of anyone ever again, tries to kill Shannon but was persuaded by Spider-Man not to do so. Kaine leaves and vows to take down every sponsor of the Great Game.[15]

During a later encounter with Reilly, in which Janine Godbe returns to the man she loved, Kaine finally brings himself to let go of his hatred for his brother, even saving Ben's life after nearly leaving him to die in a burning diner. Encouraged by his brother's example (as well as finally acknowledging Ben as his brother rather than his foe), Kaine hands himself over to the law, as Janine (who was wanted for the murder of her abusive father) does the same, both accepting that they have to face their pasts to find any peace with themselves.[16]

At that point, it is revealed that his degeneration is killing him, and Kaine is incarcerated in some type of hospital-prison with other killers. Initially lamenting his situation and accepting his imminent death, Kaine resolves to fight after seeing hallucinations of Ben, the Jackal, Louise, himself, and Peter Parker.[17]

Several months later, he is shown escaping from jail alongside many other superpowered criminals in an issue of Thunderbolts.[18] Kaine breaks out to try to stop Norman Osborn after finding out that he is still alive, has masterminded the Clone Saga, and killed his brother Ben. Kaine is seen tracking down and attacking Osborn's agents in southern Europe, leaving behind his signature "Mark".[19] The incident is mentioned by one of Osborn's men, saying that there had been "difficulties with the one called Kaine, but we were able to persevere".[20]

ReturnEdit

Kaine later appears in New York City, attacking Spider-Man as he tried to track down Raptor.[21] He reveals that he has sought Raptor out, hoping that he could cure his cellular degeneration, and attacks Spider-Man to keep him from the villain. He also seems to hold some enmity towards Peter, perhaps after finding out he is the actual original Spider-Man.[22] He also is one of the few people to have remembered Peter's secret identity after the worldwide mindwipe of this knowledge by Mephisto (Peter noting that he should have expected his clone to remember his true identity if anyone would).[6]

When Raptor attacks Harry Osborn and Peter's cousins at Aunt May's house, Kaine appears, having been working with Raptor the whole time. He exposes Peter's identity as Spider-Man and states that Peter is a clone of Reilly and should be killed since he's the closest thing to Ben. Peter beats Raptor unconscious and escapes. It is later shown that Raptor lied to Kaine about being able to cure his degeneration to gain an ally in his quest for revenge. Furious, Kaine started to choke Raptor, seemingly killing him.[23]

Grim HuntEdit

Kaine is next seen being hunted by Ana Kravinoff and Alyosha Kravinoff.[24] Their next attempt to hunt Kaine succeeds in brutally beating him; he barely escapes with his life, the Kravinoffs mocking that he will be "The only spider left. Even if you are an ugly one". Kaine manages to get to Peter's apartment to warn Peter that they, the "spiders", are being hunted before he falls unconscious. Later that night, after shaving his beard and cutting his hair, Kaine aids Spider-Man, Arachne, and Anya Corazon against the Kraven clan.[6] After the Kravens abduct Araña and Arachne, Kaine tells Peter to 'run. Run and screw the rest'. Disgusted at Kaine's selfishness even when the two of them share DNA and memory, Spider-Man bluntly informs Kaine that the difference between them is the fact that he doesn't use his life's misery as an excuse to give up the good fight.[7] After Spider-Man is lying, defeated, in an open grave with the Kravens advancing, Kaine knocks him unconscious, puts on his costume, and fights the Kravens in his place. He is mauled, stabbed, and ultimately sacrificed to bring Kraven the Hunter back from the dead, thus achieving redemption with his last acts to save his 'brother'. The Kravens do not realize they have killed the wrong 'spider' until later that night when Kraven recognizes the scent of Kaine, and they unmask the dead Spider-Man. As a result of this, Kraven is now undead and can only be killed by the original Spider-Man.[8]

After the battle with the Kravinoffs, Kaine is buried under the "Kaine Parker" name. His body does not decompose to ash or goo, as the case with the Jackal’s other cloning efforts.

However, in the epilogue of Grim Hunt Kaine is shown climbing out of his own grave with mutated features, including extra eyes in a spider-like pattern on his forehead, with the narrative box saying 'Rise, cursed one. Rise... Tarantula'.[9] This is later shown to have been spoken by The Jackal, who was present at Kaine's resurrection.[volume & issue needed]

Spider-IslandEdit

During the Spider Island storyline, Kaine is further mutated by the Jackal into "Tarantula", a hulking Man-Spider creature: a man's body, with a spider head, covered head to toe in spider hair, with 4 spider legs projecting from his back.[25][4]

As Tarantula, he is put under Adriana Soria's control, acting as a personal bodyguard and henchman to the Jackal. Knowing about the genetic relationship between Kaine and Peter, Soria sends Kaine to Horizon Labs, to tamper with a cure being developed there for the "Spider-Virus". This culminates in a battle with Peter (made aware of the recent access to a private fingerprint locked lab), after which he's forcefully submerged in the pool of highly concentrated cure. Kaine re-emerges, his mind-link with Soria broken, and a fully healed clone. Despite the serum somehow curing him of every trace of his former degeneration, including his heavily scarred skin, Kaine claims to have retained his powers and abilities.[26] In the final chapter, Kaine, now fully cured and seemingly a perfect clone in every way Ben Reilly was, helps take down the Spider Queen. Kaine and Peter grab costumes from Peter's lab, Kaine opting for the sonic-shield "Big Time" outfit as the two head off. While Peter goes to the Empire State Building with Mary Jane to cure New York, Kaine stays behind with the Avengers to fight the Spider Queen. As Peter weakens the Spider Queen, Kaine and Ms. Marvel attempt a move that Ms. Marvel had originally perfected with Spider-Man, swinging Kaine by a web and launches him at the Spider Queen. Kaine turns on his sonic-shield to protect himself from the Spider Queen's sonic scream as stingers (like Peter's from The Other arc) erupt from his arms and he goes through Spider Queen's throat, delivering the killing blow.[27] The Other powers were confirmed in a conversation between Peter and Kaine, which Kaine said that "he died and came back with all these new powers" that Peter confirmed he had been there and done that.[27] After the battle, Kaine evades the other heroes during the aftermath of the battle using the suit, but Madame Web is able to 'see' him regardless, and talks to him about his future. Kaine meets up with Peter at the airport where he is seeing off Aunt May, unmasked and free of his former degeneration only looking slightly more disheveled and taller, much like Ben Reilly was in the Lost Years arc. Kaine informs Peter he is leaving New York, and that he is keeping the stealth suit due to Madame Web's advice.[28]

Scarlet SpiderEdit

Kaine Parker as Scarlet Spider.

Scarlet Spider vol. 2 #1 variant cover. Art by Mark Bagley.

Further information: Scarlet Spider (comic book) § Volume 2

It was revealed in the Marvel Point One one shot that Kaine is the new Scarlet Spider in his own ongoing series. This was confirmed by editor Stephen Wacker in the "Letters to the Editor" page of The Amazing Spider-Man #673.

Having been cured of his mutation, but not his spider-powers, he takes up the Scarlet Spider mantle, and moves to Houston, Texas.[29]Although planning to simply pass through the city and move on to Mexico, he was distracted when he discovered a human trafficking ring while attempting to steal money from criminals. Kaine managed to save the only girlstill alive in a shipping container that had been used to smuggle her group into America.[30]Kaine subsequently abandoned his plans to leave the city when the hospital where he left the victim was attacked by a fire-manipulating assassin who intended to kill the girl: Aracely. The policeman and the doctor who attended her case inspired Kaine to remain in Houston to help them face the city problems as its only superhero and to take Aracely with him, reasoning that if she were to stay under their case, she would be eventually deported and then be easy prey for whoever send the super-powered assassin after her, but as vigilante, Kaine was not honor-bound to follow the law in that regard.[31] However, after he is attacked by the Assassin's Guild—following a past incident where he killed on their territory without permission—Kaine is forced to make a deal with Bella Donna, where he agrees to perform one assassination for her in the future in return for her leaving him and his new friends alone.[32]

Without his Scarlet Spider outfit, Kaine finds himself face-to-face with Ana Kravinoff, who tries to kill Kaine before informing him that her father Kraven the Hunter is coming for him and there is nothing he can do. Madame Web's vision at the end of the issue confirms that dark times are coming for Kaine as the Kravens plan their next move.[33] Later, he gets involved with Roxxon Energy Corporation after the daughter of the CEO blows up the top floor of Roxxon's office building with a missile.[34] In his investigation of the events, he storms the CEO's offices and ends up fighting the hero team Rangers. He later allies with them when they discover that Roxxon had accidentally released an energy being from the ground in one of their oil platforms; to contain it, the company had acquired the services of human smugglers (the Lobo Cartel) to feed the beast with human sacrifices.[35]

To both avenge a Japanese girl who was murdered by her captors and the criminals behind the treatment of Aracely, Kaine investigates and attempts his best to stop human smuggling operations running through Houston.[36] Shortly after, Aracely starts to manifest weird dreams concerning the Sixth Creation, Aztlan, her missing parents, gods, a talking coyote and the Rise of Mictlan. Taking a stroll through the park to discuss this strange change, she and Kaine are attacked by the Lobo - drug crime leaders, the human smugglers behind Aracely's abduction and werewolves sent with the intent of killing her by the mysterious Mr. Moctezuma so "the Sixth Creation could begin". During the fight Aracely escapes but Kaine is beaten and eventually killed.[37] However, in death he encounters Ero, from "The Other" story arc, who states she can return him to life only if he embraces the other. Kaine at first rejects Ero but realizes that Aracely still needs his help, so he agrees. In the real world, Kaine bursts out of a web cocoon, reborn not as before, but as a monstrous spider-creature.[38] The spider-creature Kaine maims one of the two werewolves, forcing them to flee. He then attacks Aracely until she is able to use her mental powers to bring him back. Kaine breaks out of the husk of the spider-creature completely healed of all scars but still carrying the Other inside him. It is then that Aracely proclaims him as her "champion", a title that is not merely affective but also has a deeper meaning as hinted by her father's words and the strange portents with cryptic Aztec mythic symbolism in her dreams.[39]

When Kaine is forced to see a rodeo by Aracely, Wally, and Donald he fights a drunken Armadillo who is trying to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend. When Kaine sees Armadillo's ex-girlfriend accept him back despite being a monster he realizes he can have somebody in his life and he later kisses Annabelle. Unknown to Kaine, Sergei Kravinoff and Ana Kravinoff watched him fight Armadillo and Annabelle had destroyed a letter from Julia Carpenter warning him to leave Houston.[40]

After settling debts with the Assassins Guild and encountering the Superior Spider-Man, Kaine's scars returned.[41][42] This was however a trick by Kraven the Hunter who had drugged Kaine so he had hallucinate the scars' return as well as for a brief time seeing Kraven as Ben Reilly. After Kaine worked out he was being played he fought the hallucination, eventually seeing Kraven's face in a replica of Ben Reilly's costume. Kaine prepared to fight again unaware that Kraven and his daughter Ana had kidnapped Aracely, Annabelle and all his friends.[43] As his fight with Kravinoffs went on, it turned out Kraven wanted to settle the score with Kaine because Kaine's blood was used to resurrect Kraven and by using his blood Kraven was cursed into un-life and wanted to fight Kaine to the death, using his friends as a leverage should he refuse: Kaine's friend Donald is disemboweled when this happens.[44] Kaine kills then revives Kraven as a punishment, and then Kraven escapes with his daughter. Donald is then placed in intensive care, but the guilt threatens to overcome Kaine.[45]

After saving his friends once more when his hotel room is destroyed by the daughter of Roxxon's CEO with a rocket-propelled grenade while they were in the middle of an attack by the mystic entity Shathra and an arrest attempt by Wally (who is angry at him for Donald's condition), Kaine is forced to use the form of the Other once more in front of them, scaring away Annabelle. Overwhelmed by all these events occurring at the same time and his guilt, Kaine stops trying to be a hero in Houston and decides to go to Mexico with Aracely to help her find if her parents are alive and the truth of every mystery regarding her they have come across.[46]

New WarriorsEdit

Further information: New Warriors § New Warriors (vol. 5)

Kaine along with Hummingbird joins the New Warriors.[47]

Spider-VerseEdit

During the Spider-Verse storyline, Kaine was with the New Warriors in Eastern Europe when they were attacked by Daemos of the Inheritors. A family of Spider-Totem hunters, the Inheritors were tightening their noose on the spiders across the multi-verse, including Kaine, despite him being a clone of Peter Parker and the receptacle of "the Other". After Daemos defeated the New Warriors, Kaine attempted to impale him through the chest with spikes coming from his arm, as "the Other" Spider-monster within was inclined to takeover. Daemos realized that, unlike other spiders, Kaine's arsenal makes him feel pain. As Daemos realizes that Kaine is the current receptacle of the Other, believing he could savour the spider-essence within Kaine for days, he is suddenly by the group of other Spiders including Old Man Spider-Man, Spider-Man of Earth-70105, and Spider-Woman of Earth-65. Kaine is skeptical at first, believing these are clones (Parkers and Stacys) sent by his father, the Jackal. Suddenly, this version of Ben Reilly (the original Scarlet Spider) informs Kaine that they are other versions from across the multi-verse, which surprised Kaine, as his brother Ben Reilly of the 616 Universe was murdered by Green Goblin. Daemos then breaks Spider-Man of Earth-70105's spine and Kaine escapes with the into a portal to Earth-13, which was the Safe Zone.[48]

At the Safe Zone, the pheromones of Kaine's Spider-Essence (from the Other) are recognized by Silk. After collaborating with the other spiders, it becomes clear that the Inheritors have mastered cloning technology, as they regenerate with the same memories into new cloned bodies (explaining Morlun twice returning after turning to dust, as most clones do). As Black Widow of Earth 1610(Ultimate Peter Parker's female clone), Ben Reilly, and Kaine are all clones, they head the mission to Jennix's realm to infiltrate his cloning facility in the Baxter Building. After disabling that reality's Johnny Storm and Tony Stark, the clones then attempt to take on Jennix in the cloning facility. After Kaine killed Jennix with spikes coming from within, Jennix regenerated in the cloning caskets. After realizing that the top of the Baxter Building was the receiver that transferred the consciousness of deceased Inheritors into newly cloned bodies, Ben Reilly sacrificed himself to remove the Inheritors' safety net. After losing Ben Reilly a second time, Kaine began to feel the Other emerging and took off to Loomworld to face the Inheritors alone.[49]While coming face-to-face with the Inheritors, Kaine had spikes emerge from his body and he killed Solus, the Patriarch of the Inheritors. In retaliation, Morlun killed Kaine in his "Other form" by ripping off one of his spider arms and impaling him in the skull. As the Inheritors require the Bride (Silk), the Scion (Benjy Parker from MC2/Earth 982) and the Other, which was Kaine, for the ceremony, Kaine's body was required for his blood to be used in the coming ritual.[50]

After the other spiders defeat the Inheritors and imprison them in the bunker within Earth-3145, Karn was revealed to be a future Master Weaver. After past Karn takes his place as the Master Weaver and sends all the spiders to their home realities except for Spider-UK and Spider-Girl (who become the Warriors of the Great Web), a human hand bursts out of the Other's deceased husk, revealing that Kaine is still alive.[51]

Dead No More: The Clone ConspiracyEdit

Kaine returns in the Dead No More: The Clone Conspiracy storyline, where he and Spider-Gwen attempt to help Peter escape New U Technologies. Prior to that, it was revealed that Kaine's human body emerged from the Other's corpse similar to Peter's in the "Changes" storyline and is greeted by the Master Weaver, who soon realizes that Kaine no longer has the powers of the Other and is now dying from the carrion virus that's a side-effect of Warren's cloning process, and is not allowed to go back to his Earth to avoid anyone catching it. Karn shows Kaine a number of realities with zombie apocalypses caused by this disease, and Kaine decides to visit these realities to find a possible way to stop it as he would be immune to the attacks. He tries to keep himself hidden from Karn's Web Warriors while researching it, but is caught by Spider-Gwen assisting him in going to other worlds and trying to find research to stop the virus. Kaine discovers that all the downfalls of these realities was caused by Parker Industries teaming up with the New U to spread Warren's technology which made the diseases widespread. In one of the realities, they manage to steal research from Peter and Warren before battling that reality's Kaine that dies from the disease during their fight. They take the alternate Kaine's corpse to the Great Web to study it, learning that Kaine himself is not contagious. Karn reveals that the events Kaine encountered in the other realities is starting to happen in Kaine's own reality. Since it is in the early process and Peter has not formed a full partnership with Warren yet, they still have a chance to stop it from happening. Their plan is to infiltrate the New U and have Spider-Gwen replace the 616 Gwen Stacy to find out more about the area. While Spider-Gwen changes her looks, Kaine reveals to Karn that his research on his deceased counterpart led him to discover when he is going to die, and he has very limited time. He kept it a secret from Spider-Gwen to make sure saving the 616 reality is their top priority.[52]

After kidnapping the 616 Gwen, Kaine informs Anna Maria Marconi that if they do not stop The Jackal and Miles Warren, "Peter Parker is the man who destroys the world". Unfortunately, he ends up being captured by The Jackal to be experimented on by him. However, due to Doctor Octopus' conflict with the Jackal for infecting Anna Maria with cloning cells and unintentionally activating kill switch that will kill all resurrected people and the clones' cloned body including Kaine and The Jackal, and the living human who has a clone cell like Maria without realizing it, Kaine is rescued by Spider-Woman of Earth-65. During the clone riots while combating The Jackal and most of Spider-Man's rogues in New U headquarters, Kaine soon realized that Ben Reilly is alive and he is now the Jackal before being throw by Ben off the building but was rescued again by Earth-65's Spider-Woman. As Spider-Man manage to deactivate and destroy the kill switch with help of his remaining allies, Kaine, along with most of the formerly deceased people and the clones manage to survive from the cloning degeneration. He reported to Peter that Prowler and DeWolfe had been trying their best to stop the riot before the virus dissolved and killed them once more. However, the New U's employer Dr. Clarkston reveals to Kaine and his allies that the recently-thought dead templates, the true Prowler/Hobie Brown and Jerry Salteres, were only comatose, being kept under the sub-basement and having their respective diseases cured as well. It is revealed thanks to the Webware's reversed signal, Kaine has been cured as well, leaving him with only mild facial scars. In the aftermath, detailed in Clone Conspiracy: Omega, Kaine bids farewell to Spider-Gwen, vowing to find Reilly and have him answer for his crimes. [53]

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ghostcat3000 · 7 years ago

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Yuletide 2017 recs, part three

Here is part three of my Yuletide 2017 fic recs list. Here are part one and part two. To search the entire Yuletide collection go here.

0X0

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë

Epilogue - havisham

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Jane Eyre/Edward Rochester

Summary: Not everything, Jane learns early on, is real.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV)

Found-hope - russian_blue

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: Arabella Strange/Jonathan Strange

Summary: “If you do not return, so help me, Jonathan, I will come and I will find you. And I will bring you back myself.”

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)

Batman Gets a Clue - arysteia

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: Lego Batman & Lego Robin, Lego Batman/Lego Superman, Lego Midnighter/Lego Apollo

Summary: Tough on crime, easy on the eyes. Lego Batman may be the World's Greatest Detective, but does he know the secrets of his own heart?

Mad Men

A Little Dab'll Do Ya - skazka

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Bob Benson/Pete Campbell

Summary: Intrepid ad man Pete Campbell plunges into the twilit homosexual underworld of New York City in search of answers. Bob Benson helps.

Moon (2009)

Vintage - kormantic

Rating: General Audiences

Characters: Sam Bell (Clone)

Summary: There’s a lot of experimental facial hair going on, in an effort to be able to tell ourselves apart. Some hair dye. Dueling mohawks, in the case of Fourteen and Eighty-Nine. Seven stress bakes, Eight drinks a lot and Ten asks a lot of questions. Most of us drink a lot; I shouldn’t just let Eight take the fall for that. I mean, why not? It helps me answer Ten’s questions. His first one was: why didn’t you wake us up one at a time?

Moonlight (2016)

Allegiance - scioscribe

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: Chiron/Kevin (Moonlight)

Summary: Chiron doesn't know how to tell where they're going. (He doesn't know how to make scrambled eggs, either.)

So glad you're here again - Philipa_Moss

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: Chiron/Kevin (Moonlight)

Summary: Nights like this, Kevin can feel his whole life in a heartbeat.

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)

If you press me to say - Philipa_Moss

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: Omar Ali/Johnny Burfoot

Summary: Omar is sleeping on the sofa again. By choice. He’s a martyr, really, giving up a soft mattress when he’s the one with a head cold.

Mysterious Mr. Quin - Agatha Christie

Scenes from a Crossing - Alona

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: Mr. Satterthwaite/Mr. Harley Quin

Summary: It was the last full day of the crossing—time enough had passed to bring shipboard dramas to the boil.

The Moonlight Road - Alona

Rating: Not Rated

Relationships: Mr. Satterthwaite/Mr. Harley Quin

Summary: Mr. Satterthwaite visits an old friend and sees something unexpected one cold, wet night.

Pitch (TV 2016)

all your dreams (are knocking on your front door) - elegantstupidity

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: Ginny Baker/Mike Lawson

Summary: When Ginny Baker got traded back to the San Diego Padres, Mike figured it was only polite to send her a housewarming gift.

#Yuletide 2017 fic recs #Yuletide fic recs #Yuletide 2017 recs #Ghostcat fic recs

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tachyonpub · 7 years ago

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Tachyon tidbits featuring Jo Walton, Kameron Hurley, Peter Watts, and Charles Vess

The latest reviews and mentions of Tachyon titles and authors from around the web.

Jo Walton, Kameron Hurley, Peter Watts (by Johan Angelmark [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons), and Charles Vess (Wildwose [GFDL via Wikimedia Commons])

KRISTEN READS TOO MUCH enjoys Jo Walton’s forthcoming STARLINGS.

This set of stories was very diverse. Some are fantasy-ish, and some are a little more sci-fi. There’s poetry too, which I don’t normally go in for, but liked nonetheless.

There’s even a letter in the style of Jane Austen writing to her older sister Cassandra, only in this case, the mail gets rerouted accidentally and sent to Cassandra, the daughter of Priam of Troy in the Iliad, and she writes back. Really fascinating idea there.

There was a pretty cool experimental story, which is a little like the beginning of Snow White as told from the POV of the mirror, which I thought was great. There’s a play based on the Irish myth of the Sons of Tuireann, there’s a story about a zero gravity ballet dancer, there’s a really interesting sort of Noir detective story that takes place in a world where we’ve cloned Jesus, and now being Jesus is like an ethnicity in itself. Jesus as a private eye was really unique.

My favorite story overall though was The Panda Coin, which was a really interesting sci-fi story that takes place on a space station. The station is divided into twelve sections, each named after a month of the year, with weather to match. It’s a really interesting world, and we see bits of it as this coin changes hands. As it does, the POV changes with it, so we meet the people of the station, whether they be simple human miners, androids or AIs. I liked the idea quite a lot!

All told, I really liked this collection. It’s one of the most diverse group of stories and poems in different styles and forms that I’ve ever read. Really fun!

Marty Halpern at MORE RED INK discusses Kameron Hurley and the forthcoming APOCALYPSE NYX.

What I can write about is my latest project: Back in the day, between 2010 and 2012, I had the opportunity to work on three very unique novels -- God's War(a 2012 Nebula Award nominee for best novel), Infidel, and Rapture: the Bel Dame Apocrypha Trilogy, by new author Kameron Hurley. The three books were published by the original Night Shade Books (NSB) -- one of the best (though far from the brightest) indie publishers at the time. NSB was known, and recognized, for publishing new authors, who indeed were the best and the brightest: in addition to Ms. Hurley, other authors included Paolo Bacigalupi, Laird Barron, Bradley P. Beaulieu, Courtney Schafer, and Catherynne M. Valente, just to name five that immediately come to mind.

In 2014, Kameron Hurley sold her trilogy to British publisher DelReyUK. As part of the promotion for the release of these books, she wrote a new, original Nyx story (Nyxnissa so Dasheem, aka Nyx, is the protagonist in all three volumes), which DelReyUK published exclusively on their website. The story, "The Body Project," was my first opportunity to work with Kameron post-NSB. I wrote about the story in a blog post dated January 22, 2014. I don't know how long DelReyUK allowed the story to remain online (the link is no longer valid), but if you are a fan of Kameron's writing and haven't read this bold, new story, then you'll have another chance to snag it in the new year.

"The Body Project" is one of five stories that will be included in APOCALYPSE NYX, Kameron Hurley's story collection, forthcoming from Tachyon Publications in July 2018. The other four stories: "The Heart Is Eaten Last," "Soulbound," "Crossroads at Jannah," and "Paint It Red" were originally published online on Ms. Hurley's Patreon.

If you've read the trilogy, then you are familiar with the members of Nyx's team: Rhys the magician (sometimes of questionable skills), Taite the com tech, and Anneke (Anneke likes guns, lots of guns) -- and they're present in all of these stories as well. You'll also meet the newest member of the team: Khos, a shape shifter.

I've used a couple blah adjectives like "unique" and "bold" to describe these stories because the stories are so different that I just don't have the words to describe them!

The Bulgarian site SCIFI.BG delivers a lengthy English language interview with Peter Watts.

And which among the short stories in BEYOND THE RIFT would you recommend the most?

Oh, geez, uhm… ‘The Things’ was another story that I didn’t know if it worked when I first released it and then it really kind of took off. Let’s say ‘The Things’. ‘The Island’ I think is cool, because it’s my first attempt to get into far future deep space opera, but kind of a gritty „Hey, all you lazy assholes who invoke Stargates and stuff, this is what it would really be like“. It’s a good story and I think it does a lot of really excellent world building and it won a Hugo… But ‘The Things’ works on a bunch of different levels. In the first place, the sheer arrogance of trying to retell the story of a movie from the point of view of something that doesn’t actually have a point of view, because it’s continually splitting into different things, right? Just the writing challenge of that was amazing. But it was also fan fiction, because I really love that movie.

So it was an homage to my favorite movie and then halfway through I realized that what it really is, is an allegory on the missionary impulse. The Thing is pretty horrific, what it does to us is pretty horrific, but it thinks it’s doing the right thing, it thinks it’s saving us. It’s faux, it absorbs us and it calls it ‘taking communion’, because it’s communing with us, it’s gifting us with its ability to adapt to new environments. It doesn’t understand the concept of an individual. And that idea of well intentioned evil really, really sums up the whole missionary impulse – that we’re going to beat God into you, we are going to save your soul by essentially conquering you and forcing you into doing these things that you don’t want to do, and we’re all gonna do it for God. That’s pretty close to what the Thing was doing in my interpretation of it.

So what projects are you currently working on?

I’ve just finished up THE FREEZE-FRAME REVOLUTION, which is the novella for tachyon that’s set in ‘The Sunflower’s universe. After that I have to write a quick short story for the X-prize project, because I’m now in the X-prize science fiction committee. And after that I’m basically beginning ‘Intelligent Design’, which is my next novel, a near-future techno thriller.

Ok, my questions are nearly over. Is there anything you would like to say to the readers of SciFi.bg, to your Bulgarian fans?

If I have Bulgarian fans, thank you for being Bulgarian fans! Give away all your copies of my books to your friends and BUY MORE! [laughs] Good enough?

Alex Dueben of CBR interviews Charles Vess about The Book of Ballads: The Original Art Edition.

In comics, he’s best known for his many collaborations with Neil Gaiman including two key issues of Sandman, the series finale #75, and the World Fantasy Award-winning #19 (A Midsummer Night’s Dream). The two have also collaborated on picture books and the beloved, heavily illustrated novel Stardust. Vess drew Rose, the Jeff Smith-written prequel to Bone. Vess has had lengthy collaborations with Charles de Lint [including MEDICINE ROAD], and others. In 2009, Dark Horse published Drawing Down the Moon, an art book celebrating his work.

One of Vess’ most personal project was The Book of Ballads. Originally a series of black and white comics, Gaiman, Smith and De Lint, along with Jane Yolen, Elaine Lee and others, adapted classic ballads to the comics format, illustrated by Vess. This month, Titan Comics has published an The Book of Ballads: The Original Art Edition. The art is presented in an oversize format, in its original black and white (similar to IDW Publishing’s Artist’s Editions).

Vess spoke to CBR about the project, his recent book readers may have missed and how his original art ended up in the permanent collection of the Library of Congress.

CBR: How did this Original Art Edition come about?

Charles Vess: Titan editor Steve Saffel asked. Then we had to get permission from the Library of Congress, where all the art resides in their permanent collection. Martha Kennedy, the head of their Prints and Drawings Division, suggested that Steve come down to Washington D.C. for a few days and scan all the original pages himself, and he did. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there but the holding of the Library of Congress are vast and exciting to see — so I believe that he enjoyed himself, when he wasn’t overseeing the scanning.

I have to ask, how did your original art end up in the Library of Congress?

I had this rather large selection of art, scripts and pencil breakdowns that I knew would be diminished if I were ever to break them up and sell off or give away individual pages. For a number of years I’d been looking for a home for them. I’ve given quite a lot of my art and book/GN collection to my alma mater, Virginia Commonwealth University, but for this particular body of work I was looking for a institution where people interested in art or music or ballads themselves could study the work.

I was complaining to two friends of mine who work in the Folklife section of the Library of Congress about my problem, and they looked at each other and said, “How about us?” The thought had never entered my mind before. Have work of mine in the Library of the American People? But it was a perfect fit, and I’m still very chuffed that those pages have a nice home.

For more info on STARLINGS, visit the Tachyon page.

Cover design by Elizabeth Story

For more info on APOCALYPSE NYX, visit the Tachyon page.

Cover by Wadim Kashin

Design bv Elizabeth Story

For more info about BEYOND THE RIFT, visit the Tachyon page

Cover art by Hugh Sicotte

Design by Elizabeth Story

THE FREEZE-FRAME REVOLUTION cover by Elizabeth Story

For more info about MEDICINE ROAD, visit the Tachyon page.

Cover by Charles Vess

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deserviing-a · 5 years ago

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verses

after your laughter / there will be tears ( pre-bridge )

any thread that takes place before the brooklyn bridge incident when gwendolyne is twenty. she is generally a freshman/sophomore/junior at empire statue university, working towards a bachelor of science in biochemistry. she lives with her father for the most part, and takes an active interest in feminism and politics. her freetime is spent with her friends ( peter / mary jane / flash / harry ) at the coffee bean, campaigning for local/state politicians, or at all ages night clubs.

gwendolyne generally doesn’t any heroes during this time, and her opinions on them are that they are good people, but their world is very distant from her.

oh don’t fail me now / put your arms around me and pull me out ( post bridge )

any thread that takes places in a universe where peter saves gwen, similar to the “ what if? ” issue. superhero life becomes more normal for gwen, but she still focuses primarily on her studies. she graduates with her BSc, and moves on to graduate school to obtain her masters degree in biochemistry. clone shenanigans still happen, but usually starts later in gwen and peter’s life ( pm for more details ). gwen’s feelings towards the clones are a mixture of responsibility and guilt, and the event changes her feelings towards cloning and makes her very anti-cloning.

after graduating, gwen begins working as a research professor/teacher. most of her research focuses on genetics. during the civil war, gwen generally tends to side with captain america especially after sue storm joins him. after civil war, i don’t generally view one more day, brand new day, superior spider-man as being canon. gwen does leave new york for a few years though, traveling to seattle to get away from superheroes after her life is constantly put in danger. if clone conspiracy happens, it normally happens while she is in seattle and she doesn’t take much of a part in it. she later moves back to new york city, after the events of “ go down swinging ” to resume being a research professor/teach at esu.

this verse is ship dependent, and gwen can be shipped with characters besides peter. i normally view them as having a daughter in her second year of graduate school, and their daughter’s existence does influence gwen’s decisions, but it isn’t required.

let me go ‘cause you are just a shade of what i am / not what i’ll be ( clone conspiracy )

usually set in 616/verses where gwen dies. the “ soul ” in the “ reanimated ” body of gwen stacy is her original soul, meaning it is very much gwendolyne stacy and not just another clone. but gwen comes back to a world where she is largely forgotten, and where most of her friends and family are dead or have moved on from her.

instead of returning to new york city after the events of clone conspiracy, gwendolyne instead chooses to stay on the west coast ( particularly seattle ) to figure out who she is, and what she wants to do with her second chance at life. she holds no ill will towards peter or mary jane, and instead of going back to school she works with research scientists who focus on genetics.

well my heart is gold and my hands are cold ( earth-617 )

after the spider-gwen of earth-65 saved her from being thrown off the bridge by norman osborn, gwendolyne stacy of earth-617 decided to become her own hero. at first, she dropped out of school and worked as an independent detective, wanting to help the innocent in any way she could without powers. her detective prowess became widely known throughout new york city, painting a target on her back.

protection from those who would try to stop her came from miles warren, albeit unintentionally. during his attempts to clone gwen, miles discovered that peter parker was spider-man, and he created radioactive spider isotopes in order to try and replicate these powers in other clones. the experiment backfired after he exposed the isotopes to the lizard serum and accidentally created a symbiotic lifeform.

when gwen and peter tracked warren down to confront him, the symbiote bonded with gwen as it could feel her negativity and rage. gwen became gwenom, and nearly killed warren as a result. it was the clone that warren made of her, joyce delaney, that stopped her from killing him. her fear of what the murder would turn gwen into reminded her of the spider-powered gwen she had met years ago. remembering how the symbiote had fed on the spider-powered gwen’s rage and anger, and how it had nearly led her to murder, gwen stood down and controlled the symbiote.

with her newfound powers and abilities, gwen went to the reed richards of e-617, and together the two of them created a wristwatch for multiversal travel based off of her dna. this watch allowed her to travel to other universes, and after many many universes, gwen realized that the day spider-gwen jumped off the bridge to get back to her own universe was the day she should have been thrown off it and killed.

angered at the cruelty, and how unfair the multiverse was, gwen decided to take destiny into her own hands. wanting everyone to know who she was, she and the symbiote created a costume similar to the outfit she wore on the day she should have died, and they became detective gwenom. her goal was simple:

prevent gwen stacy’s from dying, recruit other spider-women, and prevent warren from cloning her.

detective gwenom spent decades working behind the scenes, saving gwen stacy’s and protecting them from professor warren, or preventing him from cloning her altogether. those she could not save, she mourned. those she could, she protected.

along the way, gwenom learned of the web of life and destiny, and the role of spider-totem’s. despite this knowledge, she often avoided such things, viewing it as prophetic “ bullshit ” that was the reason why so many versions of her were dead. she did meet once or twice with the master weaver, and was aware of the inheritor’s. her priority though, remained saving the gwen stacy’s of the multiverse.

when the gwen stacy of e-65 became a spider-totem, gwenom watched her closely and even worked with the master weaver to manipulate her into certain situations, most notably the cloning and carrion virus situation on e-616. she later interfered with gwen’s wristwatch, causing her to go back in time to e-617 so that she would not murder murdock.

with the web of life and destiny gone, karn dead and the inheritors no longer a threat, gwenom wanders the multiverse and gives help where needed. she knows that one day, the web will come back and her hope is to help change it so that the destiny of gwen stacy is no longer to die.

#verses #save #let me go ‘cause you are just a shade of what i am / not what i’ll be ( clone conspiracy )#well my heart is gold and my hands are cold ( earth-617 )#after your laughter / there will be tears ( pre-bridge )#oh don’t fail me now / put your arms around me and pull me out ( post bridge )#long post

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nora-reads-homestuck · 8 years ago

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 68

Pages 6154-6184

Hey guys! Some quick background on why I’ve been a little scarce: I’ve mentioned a personal project that’s been eating into my free time, and that is... dun dun dun, a custom 5e D&D campaign I’m running IRL! The campaign is just starting, so I’m in the phase where I’m planning out a lot of details and building locations, etc. What that means is that sometimes I’ll need to take little breaks from liveblogging to work on the game, and other times, I’ll put D&D to the side to focus on liveblogging! I haven’t disappeared or anything like that, and once the campaign really gets going, my need to take short breaks should ease off. No need to worry! I am here and ready to find out what’s up with this robot bunny that young Bro has built Jane. *Seinfeld music* Does the auto responder have a connection to it the way he has a connection to the brobot? Does it fight with Jane? Is it... touchy feely?

Let’s... find out. Eurgh.

*click*

Poor poppop's severed head got nicked by the FIREPLACE POKER.

OH SHIT. I’m so accustomed to seeing damaged eyes that it didn’t really register the first time I looked at this panel. Is this Hussie teasing us with the idea of a Poppopsprite? Because I would be PERFECTLY OK with that eventuality. Circumstantial simultaneity.

Also, damn, check out all those Astaires.

Jane: Put head back.

You stick the poker down his neck hole and jam the head back on the spike as a temporary measure. That looks somewhat more respectable you guess.

THE PERFECT CRIME.

Looks like the troublemaker's father is calling.

That choice of language is weird and it’s skeeving me out. I DUN LIKE IT. On the other hand, yay, more kidchat! Or... robokid chat?

KID SIGHTING. And... well, he looks exactly as expected. He appears to be standing on the roof of his building, surrounded by... fucking... are those doves?

TT: Why have you activated dear, sweet Huggy Bear. TT: Are you in danger?

...I... it’s gotta be Snoop Dogg Huggy Bear, right?

TT: I disabled the AR for now. GG: Ok. Just making sure! GG: Jake was having some issues with it earlier, and I don't think he received its obfuscating tendencies in the humorous spirit intended. TT: Yes, I'm catching up with the situation now. GG: Oh, so you're talking to Jake then? TT: Nah. Just reading their chat logs.

Why does this seem weird and intrusive if the ‘AR’ is basically fucking him? (Haa haa.)

TT: Its demeanor leaves something desired though. I'd prefer it didn't make such aggressive and repeated claims of fidelity to my persona. TT: Be misrepresentin' hells of key subtleties, yo.

‘Subtleties’. Sure.

TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane. GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with? GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?" TT: Yes, exactly. TT: You're finally fucking getting it. GG: I sincerely doubt that I am! TT: Said the stubborn skeptic, skeptically. GG: Let's not talk about my "issues" again, shalln't we?

Alright then. Young Bro is apparently trope savvy, so let’s see what tropes we can apply to him, so far. A: a fair few.

TT: Shalln't? TT: That ain't a thing to say, even for you. GG: Shush! GG: The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster. TT: Alright. Kinda don't care.

WOW, what a jackass.

GG: What were you saying? TT: About what? Jake?

Careful, Strider, your crush is showing.

GG: About leaving the responder on! TT: Yeah. TT: Anyway, I kind of owe it to him to let the program run as often as possible. GG: Jake? TT: No. TT: The responder.

AHAHAHAHA. Yeah, this is going to get mined for drama later, isn’t it? Normally I’d be fucking allergic to the idea of a teen love n-gon, having experienced enough of them in YA fiction to make me sick, but then, this is Hussie. It’ll be amusing if nothing else.

(IF LITTLELONDE IS THE ONE TO END UP WITH JAKE I WILL SHIT. I might actually ship it??)

TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate cerebral duplicate of myself. TT: You don't just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations. TT: That'd be sick.

That’s a charitable view to have toward an AI, and I’m going to remember this moment in case he reneges on his words later.

TT: Also. TT: The more the software runs, the broader and more detailed its experiential canopy becomes. Makes for a better dialogic partner. GG: Dialogic? GG: Are you saying you have conversations with your own auto-responder? TT: Of course. TT: Why do you think I made the thing? GG: Hrm, that's interesting. GG: I guess I always thought it was just a really elaborate gag! TT: It's that too.

Let me guess; the gag lies in the enormity of the narcissism involved in valuing yourself as the best possible dialogic partner, and is somehow tied up in ‘the ironies’.

God, what an insufferable prick. I think I would like him better if he were charming. Rose, for example, can get away with quite a lot by virtue of her rapier wit. What’s interesting to me, though, is that the most intelligent character in any work of fiction can only be as intelligent as the author. Rose and Doc Scratch were conduits for Hussie to show off his sense of humor and sesquipedalian loquaciousness, but Bro might be his chance to show off his raw intellect.

OH MY GOD JANE, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. <3 And what the hell is the rabbit doing?

GG: Sometimes your sense of humor seems more impenetrably advanced than your robotics. I'll never understand this tapestry of irony you weave.

Replace ‘honor’ with ‘irony’.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book. TT: Yes, you are. But that's fine. TT: We come from different traditions. Someone needs to keep that racist southern asshole's legacy alive.

WOW SUCK MY DICK. How can you even be mean to Jane.

TT: There's dignity in taking up the work of our familial predecessors, even if what they did was insanely fucking stupid.

So... adult!Dave is still all about irony post-Scratch, and Bro claims to have gotten his shtick from him, instead of the other way around, but... he thinks Dave’s work was stupid?? This is infuriatingly circular.

GG: Is that a note of bitterness directed at your superstar brother I am detecting?

I AM SO HERE FOR FAMOUS DAVE, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

TT: No way. He's awesome. TT: I've told you, I don't begrudge any of his success. TT: I've also told you he isn't my real bro even though I call him that. We're related through an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation. GG: Oh lordy. Yes, yes, I know. I don't need another ironic lesson in science fiction!

Wow, yet another Sburb process the post-Scratch kids are inexplicably aware of. Does Bro know the actual nature of their relationship? Because that’s got to be weird and squicky in a Freaky Friday parent-kidswap kind of way. Maybe... Did Dave tell him all this stuff about the game, and Rose told LittleLonde, and that’s why Jane is still in the dark? Because Dad wasn’t a player???

IT ALL MAKES SENSE! :D

If Dave and Rose remember the game and their other lives, that would explain the continued existence of SBaHJ without adult!Bro’s awful comics to inspire him! And maybe they were the ones to encourage this troll friendship the Scratch kids have got going on! It would seem to run counter to the previous example we have in the troll ancestors, who didn’t recall game details after their Scratch, but it’s not exactly a game-breaking retcon to have the humans remember.

I still wonder why Jade would make all that Lord English-themed stuff, if she knew he was an evil motherfucker, but ah well. At least we know why she was so adamant about engaging “”Betty Crocker”” in corporate warfare!

TT: The point is, obviously his satirical methods have flaws, and whatever tempered brand of hero worship I might be practicing isn't keeping me from seeing that.

WHATEVER, HE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.

...LITERALLY.

GG: Flaws?? Talk about understatement. Those movies are unwatchable. GG: Unless your name is Jake English.

AHAHAHA.

TT: Yes, spectacularly so. But they will have profound historical significance. Mark my words.

Consider them marked. And knowing Hussie, it’ll be played for drama just as much as laughs.

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark. TT: To perfect the art of irony.

UGH. Improve upon his methods by “”applying reason”’, as if, had Dave only been just a little bit smarter, just a bit more logical, he’d have told better jokes?? Bro’s one of those “let me play devil’s advocate, if I may” douchebags, isn’t he. He should’ve had a fedora on his shirt.

...OH MY GOD HE HAS THE KATANA TOO, IT’S PERFECT.

TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

Alright, that one’s actually funny.

TT: Can't fool me. You take your shit as serious as I do. TT: And if I wasn't serious about it, I wouldn't have made you that rabbit. Then where the hell would you be?

Still literally homestuck, if with an intact grandfather-son. But you don’t gotta be a fuckin’ prick about it.

Whoa, they’re not doves, they’re seagulls! Not unheard of, that close to Galveston. Also, the sky is lovely and blue. I would expect the post-Scratch Earth to be more of a crapsack world, a la post-Scratch Alternia, so this is interesting. Maybe it’s just because it’s Fall?

GG: Well, aside from thousands of dollars in corpse-repair richer, I can't say.

Ahahaha. Fuckin’ tell ‘im, Jane.

TT: Has he been sleeping in the old man hollow again? Shit, that's adorable. GG: I can think of cuter places for him to sleep, frankly! TT: Yeah, bullshit. TT: He's just being instinctive. In the wild, he would gut a carcass and sleep inside for warmth, as well as to secure tactical advantage for ambushing would-be scavengers. GG: Oh, please.

UGHH I AM QUICKLY APPROACHING MY LIMIT FOR DOUCHERY.

On a side node, what is the internal temperature of a tauntaun?

(What do you mean, an African or a European tauntaun?)

GG: Anyway, property damage and desecration to cherished elders aside, Mr. Bear has been a lovely addition to the family. TT: You haven't renamed him yet? GG: Oh... no. GG: I keep forgetting I'm supposed to! TT: You've got to fucking rename him. Or change him to a girl if you want. That was important. TT: When pets change owners they get new names. Fact. GG: Sorry.

Ok not only is that patently untrue, but I swear to god if this asshat keeps being rude to Jane, I will TURN THIS FUCKING COMIC AROUND.

GG: I will name him right now! GG: How about Lil' Sebastian? TT: Fuck if that isn't the best name a thing could get. GG: Yeah!!!

HALF MAST IS TOO HIGH.

GG: So then, are you saying Mr. Sebastian here was an ironic present? GG: Relayed strictly for guffaws?? >:B TT: Yes, but it's not that simple. There were many layers involved. TT: Some of them are literal layers, of metal and plush. GG: Huh? TT: There's a real stuffed rabbit beneath its exoskeleton. GG: What! Really? :O TT: Yeah. TT: It belonged to my bro. GG: I thought you said you didn't have such an heirloom to complete the plushie trifecta? TT: I didn't. He didn't give it to me, and never intended to bequeath it. TT: I stole it.

Huh. So, like Dave’s gift to John in the pre-Scratch universe is the “original” bunny, having at that point taken no trips through time, so the bunny inside Lil’ Sebastian is the post-Scratch universe’s original. Why did adult!Dave have it in his possession? He didn’t give it... to...

Oh. Con Air came out in 1997, and John died in 1995. So he bought it and kept it as a keepsake, in memory of his departed friend, only to have Bro steal it. For a good cause, yeah, but still. :’(

GG: Ooh. Risky! TT: Nah. I got a little help from RL and ganked it out of his museum. TT: It's this whole "priceless" collection of stupid shit from movies, defended like Fort Knox. Ironically of course.

PROBABLY NOT IRONICALLY, YOU JACKANAPES.

GG: So it's from a movie? TT: Ever hear of Con Air? GG: Nope. GG: Wait... GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's? TT: Yes. GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia. TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.

Awww, noooo, he's sad about John!! D:

GG: That does sound a tad obsessive. Wasn't he furious about your burglary? TT: Pretty sure he didn't even notice. In years since, I never saw a news story about a "daring heist" or anything. I feel like he would have made some hay outta that. TT: And if he did know, he'd probably just want to give me a stoic fist bump or something.

Maybe, but probably not for the reason you think.

TT: Like I said, there are layers. TT: On one level, I gave you a filthy tattered piece of shit, albeit of tremendous cultural significance, manhandled by some old B movie actors, now candy coated to function as a highly practical defender droid for your personal protection. TT: On another level, I needed to incorporate something passable as a real heirloom. TT: For sentimental reasons. GG: D'awwwww. GG: Wait, real sentiment, or ironic sentiment? GG: Or is there no difference?? Am I missing the point here? TT: No, it was genuine.

So he’s not completely without a heart, even if it is, to quote him directly, a filthy tattered piece of shit.

TT: The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless. TT: Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to "mean it," but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you "mean it" then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth.

I’m torn. On the one hand, I want to reach through my monitor and punch this kid in the face. On the other, even I can recognize that this is basically Andrew Hussie sock-puppeting his own ironic ideals. It’s just somehow more insufferable when Bro says it.

GG: I have so much to learn. And I am not even saying that "ironically!" GG: Will you teach me your ways one day, sir? Perhaps an apprenticeship will open? TT: Oh god, I'd love that. TT: Consider the position yours for the taking any time. Feel free to approach and kneel before Cal. With my sword and his floppy mitten, you will receive my flashstep anointment shoulder to shoulder, and to shoulder again.

UUUGHHHH. His head’s stuck up his own ass, but at the very least, he does seem to be sincere about enjoying teaching people things.

JESUS RABBIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. If it’s really got a mind of its own, then it’s like a hyper-competent dog with a sword. If you don’t walk it or play with it enough, it starts destroying things. LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW. *stares down the dog*

GG: Lil' Seb is beginning to act out, and I must put his fidgetiness to constructive use!

‘Fidgitiness’, that’s putting it politely.

TT: Cool. TT: Jane, one more thing. TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session. GG: Um, no? GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game. TT: Trust me. It's a thing.

Hmm. Frankly, it’s a little surprising to me that Bro would both know about the leader position, and willingly give it up. He seems like the kind of person who would want to be calling the shots, if for no other reason that he’s SOOO SMAAAART.

GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts. GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants. TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane. GG: Hm? TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with. GG: That's stupid! TT: Yeah yeah. I know. TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right? GG: Precisely! GG: There is a BIG difference! TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader.

Whoa, whoa. So like... Bro and LittleLonde have certainly been privy to a lot of things they have no business knowing, which I’m still assuming was imparted to them by their troll friend or by Dave and Rose. But either that’s just an extremely coincidental call back to that exact conversation between Rose and John, or... Or I don’t know. It’s probably just him knowing her really well, and her being a lot like John and Bro being a lot like Rose. B...Brose?

TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally. TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

Oh. Oh, wow. Never mind. You know what? I hope it all backfires spectacularly, so that the pre-Scratch kids can swoop in and save the day, while Bro looks on in stupefied wonder.

They wait, bitches.

GG: Oh yes? GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?

Alright, so his name starts with D. Not all that many 4-letter male D names. Dean, Doug, Drew (ahaha), Dale, Dane, Dirk, Dion, Dann, Dill... Dick...

Also, ‘grand productions in puppetry’ makes me want to punch (and judy) something.

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass. TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis. TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

Well, that’s... sweet? I guess he’s saying he’s got good intentions, but still, I can see this (and am sort of rooting for it) to backfire horribly.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah.

I hate to use the same gif twice in one post, but...

GG: These lessons we talked about... GG: They've already begun, haven't they? :o TT: Jane, soon you'll believe what I've told you. TT: You'll believe it all. TT: It's just a shame that believing will take something so coarse as seeing, for a girl as sharp as you.

How biblical. What all exactly is he talking about? Game stuff? Betty Crocker stuff?

TT: Critical thought can lead one to accept the unlikely, just as much as dismiss the impossible. TT: I can help with this too. Would you like me to program a Jane Crocker responder for you? TT: I only require a simple captcha of your brain.

Alright, Doctor Fuckin’ Jekyll; let me just get right on that.

Wait, doesn’t DAVE have a captcha of his own brain? ...Oh no. Also, that means the auto responder isn’t n% indistinguishable from Bro just because it was programmed to be; it’s literally a copy of his brain. That’s kind of disturbing.

GG: Holy moly! GG: Um, thank you, but no. GG: I'm not ready to get dialogic with my cyberself just yet. My friends keep me busy enough as it is.

YES, JANE, THIS IS A GOOD ATTITUDE TO HAVE. KEEP IT UP.

GG: Speaking of which, I really need to go. I know you love to talk my ear off, and it's always a treat,

Pahahahaha.

but let's catch up later after the game starts, ok? GG: And if I do need your help, I promise I'll take you up on your offer! TT: I made several. Which one? GG: The one where you, hopefully not literally, offered to catch me in the crevice of a great big squishy butt! Hoo hoo hoo!

I fucking love this kid. She’s a little more assertive than John so far, though she’s also less mean-spirited. What will it be like when they meet? Can’t wait to find out! :D

Jane: Command Sebastian to lift fridge.

You order dear, sweet Lil' Sebastian to put his fidgetiness to constructive use. He is eager to assist, and lifts the appliance with ease.

Y’know, I was about to say something like, ‘how the hell is that tiny little robot supposed to lift the’ but then he did it. Welp. that certainly makes for a convenient escape route! After all this trouble Dad went through to keep Jane inside, she’s not going to get, like... sniped or something, is she?

He finds a note taped underneath the fridge. It seems to be addressed to you.

UGH I want to hate this bunny because Bro made it, but it is SO CUTE.

Fat chance, dad. This bird's gotta fly!!!

Jane, come ON, you’re courting danger now.

Never would have seen that one coming. (Jane, I’m about to throw a fridge through your wall.)

I like to imagine that the water pressure from the hose was at blasting power just before this panel, and drooped along with Dad’s confusion.

Jane: Throw down your hat in disgust.

Here it comes...

Wait for it...

You've been climbing your echeladder very gradually for various minor accomplishments here and there since you were 13. That was such a sweet textbook HAT POF, it earned you just enough to clear the next rung, FEDORAFLEDGLING. Nice going!

Huh, now this is a more interesting panel than you might think. First off, the mostly irrelevant details: Jane’s hat has what looks like a flag or a tag on it, instead of a feather, and her boondollar total is inching closer to 111,111,111 (damn, she’s rich). Now for the real meaty stuff.

The lowest level we can see on the echeladder, which, since the scrollbar is at the bottom, we can pretty safely assume to be the actual lowest level, is ‘Baby Ectobotananna’. This one took me a second to figure out, but then I realize it’s a combination of John’s ‘ectoBiologist’ and Jade’s ‘gardenGnostic’ via ‘botany’, and then ‘Nanna’.

Batterlass represents the obvious; she’s the heir to BCCorp, next in line after the Batterwitch.

‘Overbite Restart’, ha ha. John had ‘Overbite Upstart’.

‘Snorkbait Sporkplu’g, I have no idea, other than that it’s a call back to John’s ‘Sharkbait Sparkplug’.

‘Bespectacled Skeptic’ reflects what Bro was telling her, that she’s gotta believe more.

‘Haberdasher’s Daughter’, because Dad and hats.

‘Britches Healer’ connects back to the earlier rung ‘Britches Ripper’, and is either a reference to her being the Maid of Life, or else she just sews things a lot?

‘Sodajerk’s Confidante’ took a little digging, but it seems to be a Problem Sleuth reference.

‘Maid in the Shade’... this one’s interesting. It’s already lit up like she’s achieved the rung, and I wonder what prompted it. My first thought just looking at the name of it would be that she’d have to visit the Land of Wind and Shade, but obviously that has not happened. ...Unless she mysteriously achieved the rung shortly after her 13th birthday, when Nannasprite “”concurrently”” appeared in LOWAS.

‘Mourning Starlet’ is also a mystery. I get the pun, but who or what was she mourning? Her freedom? Poppop was long since dead, and her Dad is still alive.

The next rung up from the current ‘FedoraFledgling’ is ‘Heiress Sans Parent’ (a reference to John’s ‘Heir Transparent’), and if that isn’t leading, then... then... THEN I’LL THROW DOWN MY HAT! *levels up* Sadly, it looks like this Dad’s going to bite it too. T_T

And that’s all I’ve got for now!

The well traveled HAT shares in your glorious spoils. The battle-hardened accessory reaches dizzying new heights, leapfrogging from the DOUCHEBAG'S DOMESUCKER rung, to the rare, highly coveted MARTYR'S PISSCRADLE rung.

This is because FedoraFreak tried to use his hat to strain his piss, isn’t it. Did we ever find out what happened to ol’ FF? Did he go god tier?

How can these things be so fast on land???

JESUS.

...Now, wait a second. Gamzee never spent much time with his lusus because it was always out at sea, and I assumed that was because it couldn’t come on land. But if it could, and it just didn’t want to...

Oh no, it's a hostile swarm of those little fairy bulls! They are probably pissed off about the one you killed earlier. They have come for revenge!

Maybe the tinkerbulls and the goatdad will fight each other, allowing Jake to escape! Or... maybe the goatdad will follow in Gamzee’s footsteps and get all weirdly attracted to the tinkerbulls, and the tinkerbulls will get all shy and moe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH. OH GOD NO OH GOD OH GOD OH GOOOAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

AHAHAHA, I love it.

> [S] ==>

Oh? Oho? What is this? *click*

...

This might just be the singular most beautiful moment in all of Homestuck. This is it. This is everything I’ve been waiting for. Everything I have ever wanted.

Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes. And also

Ironic purposes.

I can die happy now. Seriously, what was that, like, 3000 pages later?

Jane: Run.

The jig is so totally up. Nothing left to do but scurry your little legs to that box, snatch the mail and scram!

Ooh, are we going to get a strife? :D

God dammit, I love Dad so much. That his reaction to WORLD SHATTERING SHIT is just a mild ‘?’ and moving on just makes my fucking day.

Gasp!! He seems to be concerned about Jane being outside most of all! She’s totally gonna get sniped, isn’t she.

> [S] Jane: Get mail.

Wow, or that. I’m assuming Hussie’s pulling the whole ‘OH LOOK JOHN’S HOUSE EXPLODED, SURELY HE COULDN’T HAVE SURVIVED THAT’ thing again, but still, yikes. Poor Dad. :(

Also, if that ‘HOMESTUCK’ logo in the sky is an actual physical object like the words floating around Prospit and Derse are, can people see it? Does it spook the U.S. government? Have people been on manned missions to the Homestuck instead of the moon?

END OF ACT 6 ACT 1.

And that’s the end of this Act Act! (I think. I’m not gonna click that arrow just yet.) I know it makes for a short post, but I said I’d divide things up this way so that I didn’t get overwhelmed making an EOA reaction post for what is essentially half the comic, so there you have it! If you’d like, you can send me fanworks up through A6A1, though I warn you I’m still not done looking at all the stuff that got sent to me for A5A2.

Next up, Reactions, and then Act 6 Intermission 1! Or... maybe the other way around, if the Intermission deserves being included with A6A1′s impressions? We’ll see.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 68 #Act 6 #A6A1

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