#james westlife

[jameswestlife]

[firstlightfanfics]

Interactive Fan Fiction

hi everyone!

Just putting it out there that I have an interactive fan fiction website with loads of stories on it and I'm looking for new writers to host as well.

You can find the website at: firstlightfanfics.com

And you can send me things at: emailkayleigh@firstlightfanfics.com

[hot-boyband-tourney]

[fiw99-blog]

If i let u go, say u won't let go

Frasa yang w kutip ini gabungan dri 2 judul lagu yaitu dari Westlife "if i let u go" then James Arthur "say u won't let go" ternyata keduanya digabungkan menjadi sebuah makna if clause kayak pas di mapel Inggris pas sekolah. Aneh juga cuman nyambung dan w arti in artinya

Jika aku melepaskanmu, katakan kamu tidak akan melepaskannya

Beda band beda vokalis beda genre tapi memiliki kesamaan tujuan yang dikehendaki, jika keduanya memiliki kesamaan yg sama tapi tujuannya berbeda maka tidak ada keharmonisan antara keduanya. Jadi setidaknya carilah seseorang dgn tujuan yg sama, jadi Sampai dipenghujung cerita selalu bersama dan hanya maut yg memisahkan antara keduanya di alam yg fana

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

Here we are...In honor of Indycar racing in Toronto this weekend. This is another installment of racing tunes. Enjoy 😊

Helio Castoneves (10th May 1975) - Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - The Night

Takuma Sato (28th January 1977) - James Brown - Bodyheat

Katherine Legge (12th July 1980) - New Musik - Sanctuary

Scott Dixon (22nd July 1980) - The Rolling Stones - Emotional Rescue

Ryan Hunter-Reay (17th December 1980) - Electric Light Orchestra - Don't Walk Away

Will Power (1st March 1981) - The Stray Cats - Rock This Town

Ed Carpenter (3rd March 1981) - Slade - We'll Bring The House Down

Romain Grosjean (17th April 1986) - Eartha Kitt - This Is My Life

Marco Andretti (13th March 1987) - Marilyn Monroe - When I Fall In Love

Colin Braun (22nd September 1988) - Spear Of Destiny - So In Love With You

Graham Rahal (4th January 1989) - A-ha - You Are The One

Tristian Vautier (22nd August 1989) - Wendy & Lisa - Satisfaction

Agustin Canapino (19th January 1990) - Seven - Inside Love

Marcus Ericsson (2nd September 1990) - The Farm - Groovy Train

Josef Newgarden (22nd December 1990) - Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

Alexander Rossi (25th September 1991) - Rozalla - Everybody's Free (To Feel Good)

Felix Rosenqvist (7th November 1991) - Amy Grant - That's What Love Is For

Conor Daly (15th December 1991) - Pet Shop Boys - Was It Worth It?

Kyle Larson (31st July 1992) - Roxette - How Do You Do

Jack Harvey (15th April 1993) - Madonna - Fever

Scott McLaughlin (10th June 1993) - Spin Doctors - Two Princes

Tom Blomqvist (30th November 1993) - Wet Wet Wet - Shed A Tear

Luca Ghiotto (24th February 1995) - Zhane - Shame

Toby Sowery (30th June 1995) - Celine Dion - Only One Road

Pietro Fittipaldi (25th June 1996) - Deuce - No Surrender

Alex Palou (1st April 1997) - 3T ft Herbie - Gotta Be You

Santino Ferrucci (31st May 1998) - Aqua - Turn Back Time

Kyle Kirkwood (19th October 1998) - Fog - Been A Long Time

Callum Ilott (11th November 1998) - Tatyana Ali ft Will Smith - Daydreamin'

Linus Lundqvist (26th March 1999) - Kele Le Roc - My Love

Pato O'Ward (6th May 1999) - Martine McCutcheon - Perfect Moment

Hunter McElrea (21st November 1999) - Westlife - Flying Without Wings

Colton Herta (30th March 2000) - Will Smith - Freakin' It

Christian Rasmussen (29th June 2000) - Britney Spears - Oops! I Did It Again

Marcus Armstrong (29th July 2000) - Darude - Sandstorm

Rinus Veekay (11th September 2000) - Storm - Time To Burn

Christian Lundgaard (23rd July 2001) - Cast - Desert Drought

Sting Ray Robb (3rd September 2001) - Faith Hill - There You'll Be

David Malukas (27th September 2001) - Sisqo - Dance For Me

Theo Pourchaire (20th August 2003) - Mark Owen - Four Minute Warning

Kyffin Simpson (9th October 2004) - Ashlee Simpson - Pieces Of Me

Nolan Siegel (8th November 2004) - Jay Sean - Stolen

All added to this playlist 😊

[twogravesinsomecemetery]

💫 Spell out your url with song titles 💫

Thank you for tagging me @calimanc !! <3

B - Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival

A - Amoreena - Elton John

C - Complicated - Avril Lavgine

K - Kids in Love - Mayday Parade

I - I Wish I Was James Bond - Scouting For Girls

N - New Year's Day - Taylor Swift

T - Time For Me To Fly - REO Speedwagon

I - It's Never Too Late - Steppenwolf

M - Manhattan - Sara Bareilles

E - Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

F - Five Colours in Her Hair - McFly

O - One More Shot - The Rolling Stones

R - Road To Nowhere - Ozzy Osbourne

S - She Is The Sunlight - Trading Yesterday

T - Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

U - Unbreakable - Westlife

F - Fire of Unknown Origin - Blue Öyster Cult

F - Fly By Night - Rush

Tagging: @throughthewildblue, @ellivia, @baronessblixen, @picklejarred, and anyone else who wants to :))

[outstandingmenshair]

I reckon there might be a clause in a boyband’s contract that at least one boybander must fuck about with different hairstyles once a firm fan base is established. Quite often they were either the second lead or the first to jump ship, after which they would get the clippers and take everything off in a middle finger move to former management.

exhibit 1 (above); Zayn Malik. In & out of 1D, that glorious dark hair was thinned for a textbook first gen faux hawk, blown back and brush rolled for a number of quiffs, streaked and loosely curled for a jelly roll, slicked but for a strand for a cry baby, undercut with a top knot, and more. On leaving 1D, the hair went, came, went, went, came, came, came, came… I dunno how many times, but he’s sure had fun with a variety of long and short.

further examples; Robbie Williams of Take That^, Shane Lynch of Boyzone, Nicky Byrne of Westlife, Matt Willis of Busted, Harry Judd of McFly, Scott Robinson of 5ive, Brian Harvey of East 17, Keith Flint of The Prodigy (ok, not strictly a boyband….but they were all male), Duncan James of Blue, Aston Merrygold of JLS, Jaymi Hensley of Union J, Jay McGuinness of The Wanted. And it didn’t stop with the UK, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter cut the curtains for some spikier styles, Justin Timberlake tossed off the spaghetti noodles for scruffier crewcuts, buzzed, and straightened and slicked back. I’m sure there are plenty more of lesser worldwide fame that could be added to the list too.

(^Jason Orange sported a very fetching low hawk during TT’s earlier heights of fame, while Howard Donald grew out his curly curtains and went for shoulder length dreadlocks around the same time. But otherwise neither had too many other noticeable deviations.)

[edgessunflower]

Get on up

Pairing: Becky Lynch x Fem reader

Description: You and Becky dance to James Brown while having a picnic outside in the yard

Becky was happy to have a bit of time off from wrestling and training finally getting some free time with you as she feels the cool air blow by as you walk outside in a white dress while she wears a tank top and shorts. The two of you decided to have a small picnic in your backyard with music playing on the radio enjoying the perfect weather for the day, you sit down after the two of you bring the radio down and lay out the food and drinks feeling your mouth water at the smell of the freshly cooked and warm food you let cool down before both of you start eating and sipping on the cool sodas and juices as many different songs of different genres plays on the radio, soon I feel good by James Brown plays leading you to dance in the yard as becky laughs watching you and recording bits of your dancing until the next song played sitting back next to her and taking a sip of apple juice. The two of you sing to Wannabe by spice girls along with Westlife and NSYNC until yet another James Brown song plays called Get up offa that thing leading you to dancing again until you grab becky and the two of you were dancing and moving across the yard laughing, the two of you are out of breath full of smiles as you walk back to the patio and grab sips of drinks taking everything else back inside and showering the grass off each other, you are horrified when you see clips of you dancing posted on social media feeling yourself die of embarrassment as becky laughs.

[icegirl2772]

i need your songs for kaelyn and james!!!

Okay, fair warning. I'm gonna be that totally extra person and do two versions: one normal, one BTR. Because I'm me. :P

And yes, feel free to totally judge what I have on my main playlist. (I've got over 1800 songs - let's see what it spits out)

Normal Version:

Opening Credits: Make You Feel My Love by Adele (Well, we're off to a good start) Meeting for the First Time: One More Light by Linkin Park (well, that ended up depressing) Hey, I Kinda Like You: Final Masquerade by Linkin Park (seriously? 1800 songs and you spit out this, Spotify?) I'm Going to Kiss You Now: That's Where You Find Love by Westlife (Okay, now we're getting a bit hopeful) Falling in Love: Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile by Sia (...yeah, I have no words; I guess it kinda fits because you're happy in love) Your Place or Mine: Irgendwas Bleibt by Silbermond (yeah, I've got a German song on my playlist - the English translation of the lyrics) Naked in Bed: True Love by Pink and Lily Allen (Hey. Good for a love/hate relationship) First Fight: Believe It or Not by Joey Scarbury (and the award for most random song choice goes to...) Maybe We Should Take a Break: Loud by Shannon Noll (Okay, my Spotify playlist is letting me down) I Want You Back: Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) by Katy Perry (Come on, Spotify, you're killing me!) Will You Marry Me: Dancing with Strangers by Jeremy Shada (Spotify, I thought I curated you better than this) First Child: It Is What It Is by Jamie Miller (Okay, this is getting ridiculous now) We're Getting Older: She's So Mean by Matchbox 20 (Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph...) If You Die, I'll Go With You: Just Give Me a Reason by Pink and Nate Ruess (okay, you couldn't have shown up a few categories ago?) End Credits: Fly Away by Tones and I (Okay, since this is an end credits situation, IDGAF here)

BTR Version:

Okay, if the boys don't come through for me, I won't be responsible for what I do next.

Opening Credits: Na Na Na (this should've been end credits) Meeting for the First Time: Fall (...okay, not the worst) Hey, I Kinda Like You: Count on You (with Jordin Sparks) (okay, we're doing good so far) I'm Going to Kiss You Now: Music Sounds Better (with Mann) (hey, not bad) Falling in Love: Get Up (and there's the disappointing option) Your Place or Mine: Shot in the Dark (maybe this should be for I Want You Back) Naked in Bed: Superstitious (you know what? with the opening lyrics, that actually works) First Fight: Brand New (yeah, that doesn't work...) Maybe We Should Take a Break: No Idea (yeah, I have no words for this one) I Want You Back: Windows Down (see above) Will You Marry Me: 24/Seven (oh come on, Spotify, you couldn't give me Ask You Tonight?) First Child: Revolution (Spotify, you are letting me down big time) We're Getting Older: Waves (AW COME ON!) If You Die, I'll Go With You: A Hard Day's Night (Spotify, I hate you right now) End Credits: Forget You Now (eh, it's end credits, who gives a shit?)

Hope you enjoyed my list with a side of me cursing out Spotify and considering a major playlist cleanout.

[flownintothesun]

spell out your url using song titles!

l - la vie en rose by daniela andrade

o - over the rainbow (cover) by mree

v - vincent by don mclean

e - edge of night (cover) by celtic angels

p - pure as the driven snow sung by rachel zegler

u - uptown girl (cover) by westlife

r - running at the dark by tide lines

p - petit papillon by eurielle

o - orpheus by sara bareilles

s - somewhere only we know (cover) by rhianne

e - elephant love medley from moulin rouge!

d - (a) dream is a wish your heart makes (cover) by lily james

tagged by : stolen ♡ tagging : steal it ♡

[joeey-dee]

What songs remind you of Oliver and Sarah? Either as a ship or their individual characters? If you don’t mind me asking

I am so sorry for how long it took me to answer your question. The last couple of weeks have been crazy.

Yes, so many 😉 most are for both since they are very similar in character and their stories and demons are pretty much a reflection of the other, at least in my opinion.

Canarrow:

The songs

Gang Gang - Nova Rockafella,

Ghost - Tom MacDonald,

Army - Ellie Goulding,

Always remember us this way - Lady Gaga,

Rewrite the Stars - Anne-Marie & James Arthur, 

Parachute - Ingrid Michaelson,

Him & I - G-Eazy & Halsey,

Kill for you - Eminem & Skylar Grey,

Remind me - Brad Paisley feat. Carrie Underwood,

I want Crazy - Hunter Hayes,

Secret love - Little Mix,

Can't say no - Rae Garvey,

Wild Love - Rae Garvey,

The Only One & Don't give me those eyes - James Blunt,

Oath - Cher Lloyd feat. Becky G,

Freunde - Pur,

Backup & New Day - Lunik,

Can you hold me - NF feat. Britt Nicole,

Mirror - Justin Timberlake,

Mein Mädchen - Fler

Sweeter than fiction - Taylor Swift

Us against the world - Westlife

Lullaby - Nickelback,

Lucky ones - Lana del Rey,

Heaven - Gotthard,

are just a handful that make me think of them as a couple or friends.

Leave a light on - Tom Walker,

Paralyzed - NF,

Battle Scars - Guy Sebastion feat. Lupe Fiasco and most songs from Soldier Hard or Icon for Hire remind me of Oliver and some Sara too.

Oliver:

Just a man & I can't sleep - Tom MacDonald,

Difficult & Going through Changes - Eminem,

Astronaut - Simple Plan,

Comfortably Numb - Roger Waters,

Numb - Linkin Park,

The coldest night & Traces of sadness - Vanilla Ninja

These are mostly for both of them:

Happy hurts - Icon for Hire,

Triggers - Soldier Hard,

Mansion - NF,

Outside the Wall - Pink Floyd

Sara:

Chasing Twisters - Delta Rae,

Skin - Sixx A.M.

Those are the ones that just came to mind but there are so many more I missed for sure, lol. Some of these might have inspired a story or two ;)

Do you have songs that make you think of them?

[firstlightfanfics]

Love fan fics?

do you want to star in over 100 stories with your favourite guy? We've got so many sections to chose from and if you don't like a particular band/artist etc there is a section called "Any" where you can put - you guessed it - any guy's name that you want.

Be the centre of your own love story with your favourite popstar/artist/sports personality/actor/fictional character with our stories.

*our stories are currently aimed at women who like men but I'm open to receiving other stories. Just message me 😁

Current categories are: Westlife/solo, One Direction/solo, Jonas Brothers/solo, McFly/solo, Matthew Gray Gubler, All Time Low, 5SOS and more!

[lamyaasfaraini]

Day 20, your celebrity crush

30 days writing challenge

Ini adalah mas2 crush aku Vincent Rompies & Graham Coxon.

Aku tipe yang bukan fan girling bgt sih yah, dulu pernah mungkin wkt SD fan girlingin Westlife sampe ngoleksi VCD, poster dari majalah fantasi, stiker jg banyak haha. Abistu yaudah gapernah lagi..

Namun waktu itu kalogasalah kelas 2 SMA thn 2016, ada acara TV gitu di MTV, namanya MTV Bujang.. Host nya Vincent & Desta member band Club 80's pada wkt itu, anak indie anak pensi pasti tau sih bandnya yekaann.. Yaampun itu acara menghibur bgt konyol juga host2nya, jadilah acara tv kesayangan gapernah skip.. Tapi sayangnya acara itu ngga bertahan lama soalnya kena kasus penghinaan katanya, ya krn mereka bercandanya keterlaluan wkwk kocakkk.. Sedih dong acaranya slesei. Dari situ mulai lah ngefans bgt sama Vincent, jadi ngikutin bandnya jg deh, wkt itu Club 80's manggung di pensi SMAN 2 bdg (pada wkt itu pensi anak SMA bdg semegah itu coyyyy, keren pokonya). Happy bgt ktemu mas crush aku walapun dari jauh bgt, aku ada di row blkg. Ttp ya manggung jg ada aja yg bikin ketawa gimmick2 Vincent & Desta!

Dulu ngefans jg gmn, di tv jarang krn acara tv nya udah gaboleh tayang. Manggung jg jarang.. Tapi lama kelamaan Vincent muncul jadi host2 wlpn bukan acara tv yg besar2 tp aku ikutin namanya jg ngefans, acara tv sahur pernah jg tuh wkwk. Sampe akhirnya yg paling nama dia makin tenar ya Tonight Show, skrg malah makin sukses..

Dulu segala macem ttg Vincent dikepoin lah (yg pasti minim bgt krn belom terkenal bgt), termasuk fakta bahwa dia udah menikah muda sama penyiar radio di Jkt, patah hati dong! (ngapain patah hati ye?). Vincent berusaha bgt "melindungi" dan keep it privat smua ttg istri dan tau2 punya 3 anak laki2 ajalah pokonya. Kayanya baru skrg2 mulai mau spill dikit2 ttg istri dan anak2nya. So sweet.. Skrg terkenal bgt kalo dia seorang yg Family Man gitu, istrinya kalogasalah pacar kedua dan dia cuma pacaran sekali unch~

Wah ini nih style nya paling kusuka, entah pake apa aja asal dia yang pake tuh kaya udah pas aja gt, postur tubuh tinggi, badan ideal, kulit kuning langsat. Pokonya from top to toe selalu keren! Mau outfit manggung, kasual, formal kaya di tonight show semuanya sedap dipandang. Duh ya ini emg seleraku jadi mungkin agak subjektif yah wkwkwk. Ya pada akhirnya aku bisa liat dia secara langsung secara dekat wkt sama2 jadi penonton di konser Suede. Sumpah ini deg2an bgt ktemu mas crush, foto bareng sedeket itu.. Lutut bergetar, aduh ganteng bgt aslinya! Oiya, dan akupun sedikitnya tau ttg selera musiknya makanya nonton Suede ya pastinya suka britpop an lah ya. Blur juga dia suka bgt, dia ngefans bgt sama bassistnya (sesama bassist sih ya), Alex James, kadang style nya pun jadi inspirasinya.

Beralih ke yg internasyenel, Graham Coxon! Walapun nge crush nya tahun 2013 sebelum konser ke Indo, tp aku udah tau sosoknya wkt video klip Coffee & Tv booming thn 2000an brp ya lupa. Wah band apani? sapani vocalistnya (disangkainnya vocalist wkt itu soalnya dia yg ngisi vocalnya. Pdhl dia guitarist) ganteng amat, geek2 bloon pake kacamata tebel gmn gitu haha! Begitulah awalnya, thn 2012-2013 lagi suka bgt dengerin band britpop cem Arctic Monkeys, Oasis, ya Blur lah paling masuk. Dari album pertama sampe terakhir aku dengerin, makin suka pula sama Bapack Graham ini, jadi gitaris aja ko jenius bgt gt enak2 musiknya. Segala film dokumenter tentang Blur mau tahun 1992, tahun 2009 yg stelah bubar semua ngikutin.. Jujurlyyyyy wkt masih mudanya i found him very attractive gitu drpd skrg ya mungkin menua jg but i still like him anyway terakhir mengagumi karyanya wkt ngisi scoring dan soundtrack series Netflix, The End of the Fxxxing World 2 season, salah satu series dark jokes fav aku! Well done, Sir Gra!

Style Graham Coxon pun aku suka, si penyuka stripey tees bgt. Walaupun dia pake glasses dgn frame yg tebel ngga bikin dia terlihat kutu buku.. Malah jadi iconic aja gitu ciri khasnya.

Waktu konser Blur thn 2013, setelah war tiket gakebagian.. Ternyata masih rejeki mantannya temenku ngejual tiket Blur yg presale harganya 750rb wkt itu tiket konser termahal yg pernah aku beli, katanya dia gabisa dtg jd dijual.. Alhamdulillah wkwk. Hari H berharap double combo pasti Vincent dtg kan bisa liat dia lg dan Gra secara lsg. Taunya ngga ktemu lah sama Vincent, udah jelas ya dia pasti penonton prioritas dan pst di VIP scr itu band kesayangannya. Yah sudah lah mari menikmati Blur terutama Gra yg wkt itu pake t-shirt pink lusuh ttp pake hat nya. Lemes shaayyy bisa kesampean nonton band legend yg personelnya udah 50tahunan. Walapun di kelas fest aku dpt spot ditengah dan itu spot perfect bgt, kaya liat konser di Youtube tp secara langsung! Bener2 mind blowing~

Dulu ngefans bgt bgt sama kedua org ini, skrg suka sewajarnya aja haha.. Karena skrg udah punya "Vincent" gadungan yg bisa aku liat setiap saat.. Dia adalah suamiku @sagarmatha13 mayanlah si ganteng versi aku wkwk. Tp knp dia selalu ngaku mirip vincent sih? Padahal mirip kenang mirdad wkwk.. Pengakuannya sih ada 2 eh 3 org gt ya? yg blg dia mirip vincent.. Hemm jgn geer ah!

[autistpride]

pick a song for each letter of your URL and then tag that many people (or as many as you can??)

Aww hell this is hard for me. I can't just pick one song. I basically am always listening to music. I guess I'll go with songs I've been listening to a lot lately.

Also no clue who to tag. 🤷 Thank you for thinking of me @chace-vito

Yes I know I have weird taste in music. I like a lot of genres.

A- Am I Missing Dashboard Confessional, Again Flyleaf, Addicted Saving Abel, Afterlife Holding Absence, Apologize One Republic

U- Una Mattina by Einaudi and Uptown Girl Westlife

T- Train Wreak James McArthur, Thinking Out Loud Ed Sheeran, and There's Nothing Holding Me Back Shawn Mendes

I- I Will Not Bow Breaking Benjamin and In The End Linkin Park

S- Strawberry Wine Noah Kahan, Summer Child by Conan Grey, Somebody told me the killers, say something a great big world

T- Titanium David Guetta, Torn Ednaswap, Taste of Regret In Fear and Faith, Tital Noah Kahan

P- pirates the sequel in fear and faith, Pompeii bastille, past life Maggie Rogers, pride Noah Kahan

R- revolution the score, radioactive imagine dragons, reason hoobastank

I- It's Not My Time Three Doors Down, I write Sins Not Tragedies Panic at the disco, Idle Town Conan Grey, I'd do anything Simple Plan, I'm Yours Jason Mraz

D- don't stop believing journey, defying gravity Idina Menzel, demons imagine dragons, demons by starset, dance with the devil breaking Benjamin, dangerous buisness walking out your front door underoath

E- eat your young Hozier, experience Einaudi, everywhere Fleetwood mac

[amberswilddreams]

fire & rain💔🫶

pairing : kian egan x fem!reader

summary : astoria egan, kian egan's wife, finds out that her oldest sister who had a drug addiction killed herself because at the psychiatric hospital she was in, she needed to be confined to an isolation cell. astoria had to be told over a phone call whilst she was backstage at a westlife gig with her husband and his bandmates. 

warnings : sadness, death, crying, maybe a funeral but a happy ending with a sweet birthday post for the deceased sister

a/n : i have written this once before but because it's sad and it's another kian one-shot, i've decided to rewrite it! always, flashbacks in italics, lowercase, and any phone calls or messages will be in italics and in bold and you'll know who is who and the lyrics are in bold italics! and as you can possibly tell like the last time i wrote this, this piece was inspired by james taylor's song, fire and rain. enjoy my lovely dovelies xx

just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone. suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you. i've seen fire and i've seen rain. i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end. i've seen lonely times when i could not find a friend, but i always thought that i'd see you again. 

astoria had been hanging out with her husband and the westlife lads and family when resting backstage before a show. her phone had been buzzing like crazy and all she was trying to do was relax with her husband and family before the band were to do a concert. she was constantly apologising anytime her phone rudely interrupted a conversation or a joke but, no one took offence to it. they had only become worried due to how consistently her iphone was buzzing but astoria kept on pushing it off, saying they didn't need to worry since it wasn't necessary. that was until it did become important when texts stopped coming through but her phone started ringing. when kian spoke up saying that it was probably a smart idea for astoria to answer it, she timidly shook her head and excused herself further from the dressing room and out into the corridor. astoria finally paid attention to her phone and saw that it was her mum that had been texting her but it was the psychiatric hospital that her drug-addicted sister was admitted to that was ringing her. taken aback, astoria hesitantly accepted the call as the psychiatric hospital was never one to really ring the families of the patients unless it was an emergency so, what emergency could they be ringing astoria up for? especially considering astoria isn't the main point of contact for her sister, she still picked the phone call up nevertheless and probably wishes she didn't whenever she brings herself back to this moment. 

suzanne's psychiatric hospital 

hello, this is dr randolff from [...] psychiatric hospital. am i speaking with mrs astoria egan? 

yes, this is she. is everything okay, dr randolff? 

i'm afraid not, mrs egan, hence why i've called you and why you've been sent tons of messages from your mother, mrs menendez 

oh, okay, umm, may i ask the reasoning for this call as i am actually on tour with my husband and his band right now just before their concert in a different county to where suzie is. is...is suzanne okay? is she doing her rehab? is she--

--this is why i am ringing you because this phone call does have to do with your older sister suzanne menendez and it is unfortunately not good news i'm afraid either 

and? could you please tell me, dr? my husband is in another room waiting for me, what's wrong? 

suzanne has unfortunately passed away, mrs egan. she was found dead in her room, laying in her own blood with a gun by her side. we suspect that she shot herself after we had told her that for the safety of herself and others that she would need to be moved into an isolation cell, away from everyone else...

....su...suzie's dead? 

i am afraid so, mrs egan. it breaks my heart to have to tell you this over the phone but there was simply no other way considering you are out of the county and i would not have been able to get this information to you in any other way but through this phone call. in regards to the passing of your older sister, the staff at the hospital, local law enforcement and your mum back home in wales are working together at this moment to see if we are able to bring suzie's body back home to ireland safely. we are going to continue to work closely with your mum, family and law enforcement just to make sure there was no foul play involved. if there is anything else that i, or the rest of my staff, can do to help, please don't hesitate to ring us, okay? 

okay, thank you so much, dr randolff. thank you for ringing me and letting me know! 

bye astoria, please take care, sweetheart. see you soon 

bye, dr randolff, you take care too, suzie was your patient so you deserve to have a moment to grieve for yourself too. see you soon

end call

once the call was disconnected, astoria cleared her throat and went right back over into the dressing room to her husband and westlife family. acting as if everything was okay and that the phone call was just her mum. however, kian knew better than that and knew something wasn't right and that this phone call wasn't just her mum ringing her. pulling her aside from the group once again, kian was careful with how he brought up the phone call that clearly shocked, unsuspecting and devastated astoria no matter how hard she tried to hide it. 

"...ria, darling, who rang you? is everything okay?" kian softly asked as astoria was frozen almost, it was like she was in a state of shock 

she didn't know how to react or what to do so, she just handed her phone to her husband where he was shown who the phone call had come from and the texts that her mum sent her, almost immediately, kian could feel himself getting all choked up and emotional at how erratic his mother-in-law's text messages to her daughter were. they were messages that astoria had been ignoring before the phone call gave her the exact same information as her mum's desperate text messages in all caps did. 

"ria, darling, why didn't you tell me what these messages were?" kian spoke up again as astoria just looked up at her husband, her mouth open in shock as she just shrugged her shoulders as kian closed his eyes, refusing to cry straight away 

"i...i didn't realise the reason why mum was texting me so desperately in the first place..." astoria trailed off quietly as kian bit his lip as he pulled his wife in for a hug, knowing how painful the loss of her older sister was going to be for her

"...oh, oh, darling! i am so sorry, come here!" kian whispered, even though he was already hugging her, he pulled her in closer as she wrapped her arms around her husband's torso in absolute shock, not even able to cry 

"my older sister is dead, kian, she...she's just gone..." astoria trailed off as she rested her chin on kian's shoulder, her mouth slightly open in shock and her eyes constantly moving around the room that seemed as if it was swallowing her whole 

kian breathed in and out as he tried to stay calm for the sake of his wife. holding her close, he could feel like he had a good sense of what was going through her mind as they stood there in an embrace that looked romantic but felt more heartbreaking than any romantic gesture. 

"i...i just...i thought i'd see her again..." astoria broke what was silence between the husband and wife as kian nodded his head, rubbing his hand against his wife's back as he held her close and tight

 "...i know darling, i did too, i did too," kian whispered as he swayed the both of them side to side with no other words or noises to interrupt their moment of silence in what was a moment of loud, aggressive noises in astoria's mind

won't you look down upon me, jesus, you've got to help me make a stand. you've just got to see me through another day! my body's aching and my time is at hand and i won't make it any other way, oh, i've seen fire and i've seen rain. i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end. 

astoria found herself smiling as she looked through a photo album of family photos from when she, suzanne and their four other siblings were younger and having the times of their lives. it had now hit the five-month mark since suzanne had died and whilst astoria was still utterly devastated that she was gone, the thing that killed, no pun intended, her more and more each day was what she said at suzanne's funeral. at the time of her sister's funeral, it had been two weeks since the happenings of her sister's death and she was finally back from being on tour with westlife as was her sister's body from the psychiatric hospital in wales and astoria still hadn't got to her "depression" stage of grief and still hadn't broken down in tears over her sister's death. 

this worried her entire family, including the westlife family but none more especially than kian. it worried kian because astoria, similar to kian, was the definition of a crybaby. she would start crying over everything yet nothing at the same time. so, when this horrific news of losing her sister crashed into the universe, it seemed as if astoria's emotions started to shut down one by one. and this was something that kian did not like one bit because when it came to the funeral when she said the eulogy for her sister, it just seemed like the words she was saying to those who didn't know the sibling relationship between suzanne and astoria was that they were in fact, sisters. all because it looked as if astoria wasn't showing the "correct" emotions that were supposedly meant to be felt at a funeral of a loved one. 

everyone was in shock to hear that there was in fact another sister in the menendez family. they always thought mary-kate and steven only had two girls and three boys but, no, as the parents have always told everyone, they have always had three girls and three boys which equates to, shockingly, six kids. the only reason why people still refused to believe there were six kids was that, at the time, astoria didn't like her photos being posted online by her parents, which, they both respected when the internet started to become a thing and didn't post photos of her online, even in family photos, she was either cropped out or blurred out when posted by her parents which always left questioning comments as to who the "blurred-out or cropped out mystery" was. so, watching what some people paying their respects at this funeral thought was the "mysterious sixth child" walk up to the microphone to say a eulogy, was interesting. 

it seemed as if an entire group of people's stubbornness, thick-headedness and straight-up stupidity slipped away as they finally dropped the act and finally paid attention to the facts that had been there for years. astoria stood at the microphone and her eyes scanned through the room. knowing pretty much every single person, even those who constantly commented on her parents' facebook posts that their sixth child wasn't a real person or better yet, not their child, death stared them. almost saying "surprise, bitch" and "sucks you had to finally get the hard truth that i actually am real at my sister's funeral, how unfortunate for you for being so stupid for this long,".  

kian gave his wife a look of support as she opened her mouth and began her eulogy, "suzanne was my older sister, she was the oldest of six and it was very clear how favoured she was to the other five of us *giggles*. i'm astoria, i'm the youngest out of the six siblings which i know has given me some strange looks but, it's true but, let's please focus on the actual reason we're here today because it's not me *the hall falls completely silent*. even though there is quite a gap in age between suzanne and me, we were the two siblings that got along perfectly. besides austin and me but, that's a story for a less upsetting day *lighthearted laughter* sorry, i...that wasn't supposed to come out that way but, umm, anyway... despite the age gap between suzie and me, we were the best of friends. we did everything together, we went shopping together, we would go on double dates together with our husbands, and we would sleep in each other's beds just because we wanted to feel like children again..." astoria trailed off as she decided against staring down the still stubborn people who refused to believe they were wrong and continued her eulogy 

she quickly moved her eyes back over to her husband's, watching as they filled with tears as she took in a deep breath, continuing, "the first time we were split from each other was when suzanne was put into the psych hospital for her mental health and addictions to drugs after she had sobered herself up from alcohol, not able to do the same for the drugs, even when she tried her hardest when she got pregnant and had her children..." hearing his wife talk about addiction as an outsider who came into the family and saw the way it ended for his sister-in-law was heartbreaking for kian 

"...watching the way my sister was losing herself to all these drugs was absolutely terrifying. it really showed me a new side to her that i hadn't ever been exposed to and it wasn't something you would want to see nor wish on your worst enemy when you saw the reality of it daily. the way she'd be so nice one day and then absolutely awful the next is something i don't think i'll ever really be able to erase from my memory. i had never seen the effects of drugs on somebody until i watched it happen to her for my husband, thankfully, even though he's a goddamn pop star, westlife legend *lighthearted laughter titters through the church* and never got into the downward spiral of addiction. i...umm, i just wished she fought for a bit longer and didn't give up because i just wish for that day i'd get that call say...saying that she had finished her recovery and is able to come home... and i wished her husband and children could have gotten that call as well..." 

"...i mean, that's the one thing i've been constantly dreaming about every night since i got the other phone call that on the other side of things, i never thought nor wished i'd ever receive about suzanne. i also know it was something that suzie was wanting so hard for herself the last time we talked because she was wanting to recover and become sober so she could be discharged and be with her family again. i thank every living god that i was with my husband after i had that phone call otherwise i don't think i would have known my limits and accidentally turned into the same ghost of a person that she did. kian realised what was going on in my head and forced his mum, my mother-in-law, patricia, to leave the westlife concert and bring me back home. for almost two hours, she sat with me and hugged me and took care of me, listening to my silly demands, making sure i was eating and drinking until kian came home and told his mum that he could take it from here and that she could go home. when kian got home, he sat in front of me and just listened as i just talked and talked until i couldn't any longer before i shut down and kind of became mad at the fact that suzanne gave up so easily..." astoria trailed off as she suddenly became angry again, kian's eyes widening in worry that a similar thing was going to happen again 

"...however, i took a step back and realised, the only reason why i said she gave up so easily was that i wasn't living in suzanne's mind. i wasn't living her life through her lens and i wasn't having to open my eyes every day and go through those treatments, those hardships every single day as she did every day. how selfish was i, someone who was well aware of my sister's disease to be all of a sudden mad at her because she was struggling in a place, an institution where she was supposed to be getting help?! i...i, i just wanted to see her one last time, to hug her one last time. to just see her smile, to hear her laugh, to watch her play around with her husband and children and just be suzanne..." astoria couldn't bear to say another word as she closed her mouth, locked her jaw and walked off the stage and sat right back down next to kian who straight away comforted her and made sure she was okay 

~

sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground, oh, i've seen fire and i've seen rain. i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end. i've seen lonely times when i could not find a friend, but i always thought that i'd see you, baby, one more time again, now. 

astoria smiled as she woke up on the morning of what was supposed to be her older sister's 37th birthday. she giggled as she brought her arms above her head to stretch when she heard her husband singing what she swore was a michael buble song, me and mrs jones when he was supposed to be making breakfast for the both of them. shaking her head, she got herself up out of bed, grabbed her phone and walked down the stairs into the kitchen to see why her husband was singing and not cooking them the breakfast he promised her he'd make for them in celebration of their sister and sister-in-law's 37th. 

"me and mrs jones, mrs, mrs, mrs jones, mrs jones, mrs jones..." 

"--kian, sweetheart, why are we singing instead of cooking?" astoria jokingly asked, pressing pause on the song from kian's phone as he smiled and stifled a chuckle 

"because, it's a good song thank you very much, darling! i do not appreciate your teasing!" kian spoke in a posh british accent instead of his normal sligonian, irish accent which made astoria giggle even more 

"i'm just teasing babe, you know i love hearing your smooth, raspy, sexy morning vocals in the morning!" astoria smiled as she wrapped her arms around her husband's naked chest and rested her head against his back as he smiled back 

"i know you were joking my love! how are you, you feel good?" kian then asked as astoria smiled bigger, appreciating that he was still checking in with her after having a rough patch a couple of weeks ago after realising that it was going to be her sister's birthday soon and wasn't going to be alive to celebrate it 

"i'm feeling good my darling, i'm excited for today because it's going to be a good one! it's suzie's 37th birthday and i know she's partying it up wherever it is she is!" astoria smiled as kian smiled back, content in knowing that his wife was slowly returning back to her normal self 

"i'm glad to hear that my love! well, i shall not keep you waiting for breakfast so, just rest on the couch, pop the tv on and i'll call you when breakfast is finished!" kian kissed his wife on the cheek as she nodded and then left the kitchen and wandered into the lounge room to put something interesting on whilst her husband finished breakfast 

it hadn't taken the husband and wife that long to finish breakfast after kian had finished making it. when all of a sudden, it was around lunchtime and notifications of birthday messages to suzanne's still-active facebook were pinging. whilst there was still a painful pinch to the heart for both astoria and kian, it mostly just made them smile that mary-kate and steven refused to deactivate their eldest daughter's social media just because she was now deceased. it made the entire family feel like people still cared about suzanne if they wrote birthday messages and just sent photos of themselves with suzanne to her dashboard for the reason that they just missed their best friend, work colleague, cousin, sister, daughter, niece, etc. 

so, as astoria and kian went through the birthday messages and liked them and commented back on them, that was when astoria got the idea to post on her instagram for her sister. it was something she hadn't done in a while and, in all honesty, she missed posting photos of her and her sister so, that's what she did! 

liked by kianegan, shanefilanofficial, austinmenendez, selenamenendez, nickybyrneinsta, stormykeating and 8k others

astoriaegan it's your 37th birthday today, suzie, and it's the birthday you were really hoping you'd be able to celebrate with us outside of the psych hospital. but it's okay that you're celebrating somewhere else where you're safer and not have to constantly walk on eggshells everywhere you go, cause i know that's not how you wanted to live your life. i just know for sure that you're singing fire and rain by james taylor and about every single westlife song and annoying every single person with your awful, screechy, pitchy singing but, i'm sure they're just glad you're finally happy again. i really do love you a lot, suzie and these three photos i like to think really show that. the first photo was from kian and i's wedding when you were my maid of honour and the only one who was able to see me get into my wedding dress. the second one was during my hens night and our theme was "dress up or give up" where we were either dressed up looking like we were going out to win a damn meteor ireland award or to give up and wear the daggiest clothes and every single person dressed up but in all honesty, suzie, you were the best dressed that night and i can't even be mad at you for upstaging me at my own hens night. and i'll also never forget the two of us being accidentally mistaken for mother and daughter, you being the mother and me being the daughter and you being the most offended i had ever seen you as selena, gillian, georgina and the rest of the bridal party just laughed at your reaction as we continued to have our hysterical fun before kian and i's barbados wedding. and this last photo is probably my favourite of all time. we were in barbados (when are we not, my husband is bloody kian egan for god's sake) for my 30th birthday with the family and kian's family and, like at my hens night, i was mistaken for an actual teenager despite the fact i was wearing a pin that clearly stated that i was turning 30. i'll never forget how happy we all were but especially you. the smile you smiled, the laughs you laughed and the you you were, were the most genuine i had seen in a long time, it felt like it had been since we were kids that i'd seen you that happy. my 30th and your 37th were two birthdays that you really wanted to be in recovery and sober for and, i'm just grateful, like you definitely were, that you were at least sober for my birthday because that's just how selfless you were. you cared more about your own family than yourself and the original reason why you wanted to recover and become sober was for the family and your husband and kids, i'm just grateful to say that for the most part, you were sober and it was truly only in the last couple months before your death that really snatched you away. i love you forever, suzie, you are always going to be my fire and rain. love, astoria 🤍

p.s. your kids, arlo and sage are absolutely gorgeous and are looking like their stunning mamma every single day. and mr menendez-mcknight is also doing well, just so you didn't have to worry about them 🤍

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kianegan i am so proud of you my darling! i know how hard this has been for you but you still prove so many people wrong! we all love you so much suzie 🤍

shanefilanofficial these photos are wonderful and really capture the authentic suzie that we all knew and loved. what an honour it was to know her, astoria 🤍

austinmenendez aww, these photos ria! they are so gorgeous! happy birthday, suzie 🤍

selenamenendez happy 37th suz. beautiful post ria 🤍

nickybyrneinsta i've got tears in my eyes reading this, astoria. this was a beautiful post for your sister and it was an honour to know her 🤍

stormykeating my heart is torn and heartbroken reading this. happy heavenly 37th birthday suzie, you are so loved baby 🤍

fanofkianandastoriaegan happy 37th suzie! 

markusmoments happy birthday in heaven suzie su 🤍 

gillianfilansligo happy birthday, suzie poo, i miss your pretty face 🤍

georginaahernbyrne happy heaven birthday suzie su 🤍

thought i'd see you one more time again. there's just a few things coming my way this time around, now. thought i'd see you, thought i'd see you, fire and rain, now. 

fin

why am i so good at writing such depressing things? i seriously need help that's for sure!

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