#jam grand slam;; MEMES

[jammedmuses]

Get to Know: "Banshee"

Three things she loves: animals, funny/tacky shirts, mutual love

Three things she hates: judgment/prejudice/mistreatment, death/losses, helplessness

Three things she needs: (found) family, confidence, care

Three things she wants: to love and be loved, autonomy, to help

Three things that scare her: being discovered as handicapped and being treated with bias, failing whoever needs her, hostility/aggression

Three things that thrill her: giving affection, her attempts to help working, making others happy

Three favorite foods: coffee, peaches, homemade meals

Three favorite smells: brewed coffee, floral, baked pastries

Three favorite holidays: Valentines (passively,) Christmas, Halloween

Three favorite people: verse-dependent (needs a consistent social circle)

tagged by: picked off @lastafton 's pocket with my lil gremlin hands tagging: @curseofbreadbear (any muse/s of preference,) @animatronicabundance (any muse/s of preference)

[wyslyyzr]

Ok, listen, you knew I would send the kiss meme. I can't not. But I also can't pick. So I'm challenging you to use a random number generator and work with what you get! I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not, and neither is Shaw. Shaw is never sorry (I usually am tho)(just not this time)

kiss erik. go on. do it.

1.  a kiss to say ‘hello’.   |  @sebastianshaw

THIS  NEW  ERA  OF  mutanthood  is  a  confusing  one.  the  transition  feels  strange,  and  krakoa  is  not  genosha--but  erik  hopes,  prays  when  he  must,  that  the  alterations  in  their  rule,  their  established  democracy,  the  leverages  they’ve  hoisted  to  create  a  smooth-sailing  refuge  for  mutantkind,  will  hold  against  not  only  the  potential  for  infighting  in  this  supposed  climate  of  political  amnesty,  but  against  humans.  against  the  species  that  always  sought  to  take  the  inch  and  stretch  it  to  an  unyielding  mile. 

erik  wouldn’t  call  it  inoculation,  but  what  else  is  it?  celebration,  ascendency.  he’s  been  hand-picked,  and  he  expects  little  else;  it  is  not  a  sovereign  pride,  but  rather,  the  heart  and  soul  of  him  that’s  shed  blood,  wilted  and  weathered,  for  mutants.  for  their  kind.  few  have  given  as  much  as  erik  lehnsherr,  who,  still,  now,  can  recall  the  taste  of  ashes  and  death.

krakoa  is  beautiful,  and   erik  comes  to  terms  with  his  own  grievances,  lets  them  sit  in  baited  quiet.  they  will  be  addressed,  he  is  sure--or  blood  will  spill.  

the  reach  of  forgiveness  did  not  extend  to  fascism.  

for  now,  he  takes  in  the  airy  lights  dancing  just  beyond  the  glass  encapsulating  this  sprawling  station,  watches  them  twist  and  dance.  he  has  seen  space,  sat  upon  an  asteroid  as  a  throne,  legs  folded,  meditation.  he  has  seen  wonders  few  other  men  have  seen.  he  has  seen  quite  a  bit.  but  even  erik  can  concede,  it  is  the  first  time  he  has  seen  such  a  grand  display  of  mutant  brotherhood  collected  in  one  room.  even  shaw.  good  god,  especially  shaw,  strange  and  bizarre  man,  bereft  of  dignity,  yet  brimming  with  an  insolent  kind  of  cunning.  the  kind  that  reminded  erik  of  fabian,  if  he  were  but  a  hair  more  traitorous. 

the  man  saunters  up  as  if  with  an  entourage,  though  erik  only  espies  an  exasperated  frost,  charles  beset  by  a  pinched  anxiety,  and  young  faces  that  erik  did  not  recognize  looking  on  in  muted  horror.  his  bracing  turn  is  silent,  but  the  thunder  is  in  his  pivot,  cold  and  immutable.  even  so,  shaw  approaches  him  with  a  flamboyant  confidence  that  erik  thinks  will  get  him  killed,  again,  if  it  persists.  

you  look  utterly  dour,  he  sneers,  reaching  out  to  punch  at  magneto’s  shoulder.  the  blow  is  weak,  a  jab  of  a  friend,  as  if  thats  what  they  were.   ‘  i  am..  thinking.  something  you  ought  to  do  more  often,  sebastian.  ‘   he  murmurs,  moving  to  turn  away  yet  again  before  shaw  catches  his  shoulder.  and  here  i’d  thought  it   was  emma  that  was  the  ice  princess.  am  i  not  entitled  to  a  warm  greeting  from  a  lost  brother,  found?  we’re  all  friends,  now! 

erik  blinks.  once,  twice.  he  turns  in  full  to  face  sebastian,  tall,  imposing,  serious.  surely,  this  was  a  joke?  they’d  disagreed  on  fundamentals,  for  reasons  erik  found  utterly  trivial  on  his  end--the  potential  for  profit  from  humans,  really?  the  insult  to  his  character,  to  his  love  for  mutants?--why  would  he  want  to  make  any  effort  to  reconcile,  now,  if  not  for  some  selfish  motivation  he  kept  concealed?  his  gaze  turns  to  his  oldest  friend,  who  responds  with  only  a  sigh,  hands  fitting  at  his  hips.  erik’s  hands  go  for  his  helm,  carefully  removing  the  article  and  setting  it  aside,  baring  the  thick  of  his  moderately-tamed  alabaster  curls,  sticking  to  his  brow  in  places.  

as  a  gesture  of  reluctant  solidarity,  he  extends  his  hand,  eyes  lidded  with  annoyance.  

when  shaw  takes  it,  he  steps  in,  gripping  firmly.  erik  leans  back,  met  with  the  soft  smell  of  his  breath  (surprisingly,  not  nearly  as  rancid  as  erik  had  suspected,  smelling  distantly  of  mouthwash  and  something  smoky).  sebastian  kisses  the  spot  below  the  apple  of  his  cheek,  and  when  erik  thinks  he  is  free,  moves  in  deftly  for  his  lips.  

the  kiss  is  so  abrupt  and  hard,  his  teeth   clack  into  erik’s,  scraping  his  lower  lip.  his  jaw  parts  in  a  startled  effort  to  breathe  in,  getting  little  more  than  an  intimate  taste  of  heat  and  flesh.  metallics  groan  in  violent  protest,  the  nearest  item--a  plushy  seat  with  steel  legs--anchoring  itself  to  the  pull  of  erik’s   unconscious  manipulations.  he  jams  his  palm  into  shaw’s  clavicle,  thrusting  just  as  the  object  careens  through  the  air,  slamming  squarely  into  shaw’s  shoulders.  

‘   vos  di  genem!   ver  geharget!  ‘  

[theuglyartstore]

Strangers Part 1

Taehyung x Jungkook

College AU

To help with his unforgiving procrastination, Taehyung decides to venture into the world of Omegle.

Taehyung lets out a long groan as he drops onto his back, the bed springs squeaking under the sudden change in weight distribution.  “Chim, I’m bored,” he draws out, turning his head to stare at his roommate, who’s hunched over his laptop, typing furiously.

“Fuck off, Tae, I have a paper to finish.”  Jimin doesn’t even spare him a glance as he continues to type away.

“Take a break for, like, an hour.  I just wanna talk.”  Taehyung pouts as Jimin fully ignores him.  “Chim, Chim Chim, Jimmy, Jimbles, Jimothy, Jam Jam Grand Slam-”

“Kim Taehyung.” Jimin finally looks up from the computer to glare at him.  “Kindly fuck off for like six hours.  I have a sixteen page paper due at midnight and I’m barely on the second page.”

Taehyung sticks his bottom lip out and whimpers. “But I’m so bored.  All the guys moved out for winter break already.  What the hell am I supposed to do until you’re done?”

Rolling his eyes, Jimin busies himself with the laptop once again, leaving Taehyung to his lonesome.  “Just don’t bother me.”

Taehyung curls his lips into a frown and sticks his tongue out at his neglectful roommate like the five year old he truly is.  He hums quietly to himself as he ponders his options.  The food courts are closed, so he can’t binge on free food, and nothing around campus is fun without a buddy.  “Hey Jim Jam, one last thing.”

Jimin doesn’t acknowledge that he’s paying any attention, but Taehyung continues anyway.  “What’s that one website called?  The one where you can talk anonymously?”

Sighing in defeat, Jimin looks away from his computer for, hopefully, the last time until he’s finished.  “Uh, I don’t know. Omegle?  Is it Omegle?”

“Ah, I think you’re right.”  Taehyung sits up in bed once again, his interest peaked.  He pulls the browser open on his phone and types ‘Omegle’ into the search bar.  He chooses the first option, Omegle: Talk to Strangers!  Oh, the things Taehyung does when he’s bored.

He’s matched with someone pretty quickly, and he’s the first to type.

You: Hey

Stranger has Disconnected

Bitch.  Taehyung quickly presses to get a new match, enjoying the thrill of being able to talk to literally anyone.

The next match has him laughing silently to himself.

Stranger: Oppa, I’m so wet.  Please help.

Taehyung decides to play along, just because he wants to see where he can get it to go.

You: Then go dry off, silly

Stranger has disconnected

Bitch.  Taehyung feels a touch of irritation on his subconscious, but he pushes it aside once his new match starts typing.

Stranger: What’s up?

You: Procrastinating

Stranger: Hey same. Big test tomorrow?

You: Finals

Stranger: Ouch, me too.  College kills.

You: Yep, I’m just trying to kill time until my roomie decides to get his ass up and do something

Stranger: My roommate moved out last week, I’m super jealous

Taehyung finds his eyes glazing over at the boring conversation.  Small talk always drove him to sleep, and this is no different.  Rather than disconnecting out of the blue, he decides to play a game with this newfound stranger.

You: Hey, you wanna play a game?

Stranger: Like???

You: Say yes and I’ll tell you

Stranger: Fine

Stranger: Don’t be too weird

You: I’m always too weird.

You: Oppa

You: I’m so wet

Stranger: …

Stranger: fuck off

stranger has disconnected

God dammit, Taehyung thought it’d be fun to mess around.  Maybe people on this website aren’t as accepting as he is.  He decides to try one last time before retiring himself to boredom.

You: Let’s get drunk and mess up a mall bathroom

Stranger: Fam, you read my mind

You: Finally, someone who understands romance

Stranger: Exactly, people on here just don’t understand contemporary culture

You: Forreal. Like I just wanna take you somewhere where we can be alone and stare at our phones together.

Stranger: Oh my god and not talk for hours on end?  You’re literally describing my dream date.

Taehyung smiles at the strangers enthusiasm, matching his own.

You: Then maybe if you let me I’ll show you my dank memes.  That’s like 2nd base these days, right?

Stranger: Only if the base drops violently in at least 3.  Then it’s not worth my time or effort.

You: You’re intense and I dig it.  I can’t wait to vaguely pay attention to you

Stranger: I’ll make sure to scoff and nod while you’re telling me half-assed stories while I take a buzzfeed quiz on my phone just  so we both feel included

You: I’ll pay half attention while I send you pictures of huge dicks that aren’t really mine

Stranger: That sounds perfect, as long as my ego is still allowed to be bigger than your dick

Taehyung laughs out loud as he scans over their conversation so far.  This stranger knows how to play.

You: Dude, you’re great.  I’m Taehyung by the way.

Stranger: Nice to meet you Taehyung! I’m Jungkook

You: You seem like a pretty cool, and flamingly gay, guy, Jungkook

Stranger: I was straight until I realized you were a man

You: I’m honored

Stranger: Well, Taehyung, I have actual work I need to get back to, but it was super coolio talking to you

You: You too, stranger.  Maybe see you around

Stranger: Probs not, but if you wanna keep tabs, I could totally give you my insta?

Taehyung debates whether or not it’s a good idea to keep up with someone he met online.  Hell, he never has good ideas.

You: Sure thing

Stranger: KookieJar

You: Tae95Bae

Stranger has disconnected

[christhatcher]

12 albums from 2016

These aren’t in any particular order. I have, and continue to, love them all. If I’d have listened to the Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard album more often I reckon that would’ve got in too. Unfortunately I do a lot of listening to music in the car, and I’m perpetually late for work, and it’s impossible to drive at anything approaching the speed limit when you’re listening to an album by a band called Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard.

Underworld - Barbara, Barbara We Face A Shining Future

Oh Underworld you've soundtracked many significant moments in my life from the 90s onwards, and as we both get older you keep reminding me that youth and fire in the belly aren't the only ingredients necessary for making vital music. Underworld have blown me away again with an album which finds them at their most intimate yet transcendent. To my mind that's the perfect balance to pitch on an album that takes its name from some of a husband's final words to his wife.

The lyrics to Low Burn ('Time, The first time, Blush, Be bold, Be beautiful, Free, Totally, Unlimited') could, in the wrong hands, all too easily find their way onto a platitudinous meme but they sound vital in the context of the tune, a cresting wave of synths, strings, bass throb and eventually Hounds of Love toms. The perspective shifts on the penultimate line to include, "Panic, craving, nothing... Time, the first time..." and it transforms the vocal from a call for the Living to one that seems to encompass life and death's full cycle. Played back to back with Nylon Strung, whose refrain 'I want to hold you, laughing' assumes a mantra like quality, the two tracks feel like a compellingly heartfelt plea to embrace utterly the short moments we have.

David Bowie - Blackstar

We will never see his like again. To some extent that’s probably true, but that’s because Rock n roll is now nearing the point of anachronism; it's passing is inevitable but not something to mourn. We can't be forever young and full of piss and vinegar and I think if you're determined to be 18 till you die you've set your sights pretty low. I actually hope that the future of expressive culture lies not solely in the hands of men and women on raised stages preaching to the masses but in increasingly indivisible hands and minds brought together and operating in the spaces where the real and virtual world blur. I hope it's a place where individuals come second to the product of expression. In short, I hope there isn't another David Bowie. I love the guy (as much as it's possible to love someone you've never met), but I hope that before too long we no longer require these figureheads to align ourselves with or against. I want his work to survive and be celebrated but I hope that the culture he sprung from baffles my descendants, because there's something rotten about our obsession with the shock of the new that is the third quarter of the 20th Century.

Jez: Look, Mark, I'm a musician, in case you've forgotten. I answer to a higher law, the law of "If it feels good, do it."

Mark: Oh, that's a great law, isn't it? What's that, Gaddafi's law?

Jez: It's the musician's law. Colonel Gaddafi could not lay down a bass hook, Mark. That should be clear even to you. - Peep Show (series 3 ep 5)

It was the shock of the new, not a Solomonesque cultural cache. And now the world is moving on. Not diminishing in talent over time as we speed further away from the grand ejaculation of the Big Rock n Roll Bang. Music hasn’t descended into an over reliance on auto tune, or computers. There isn’t a dearth of ‘real’ musicians learning ‘real’ instruments, learning their song ‘craft’… ‘organically’. The world is moving on. But still we get to listen to the fucking bullshit put about by old people convinced that the brief period when you’re most emotionally engaged in the cultural stimuli around you happens to be the apex of civilisation; and you should never underestimate a Baby Boomer’s ability to slip a pair of rose tinted blinkers over your eyes when you’re moving into the crawl space they’ve rented out to you from their burgeoning property portfolios (Hippies and Yuppies – only really distinguishable by the proportion of their income spent on joss sticks).

But back to Bowie. Guilty of none of the above. His capacity for re-invention and forward thinking doesn’t need re-iterating, the back catalogue up to and including Blackstar speaks for itself. This has turned into a rant but, sod it, I'm not in the mood for not ranting.

Here's to Mr Bowie, perhaps the ultimate rebuttal to those who cite ‘honesty’ or ‘realness’ or ‘rocknroooooll’ as fundamental to making ‘organic’, ‘real’ music and writing ‘proper’ songs. Who used artifice, and sounds regardless of source, was fearless and transcended rock n roll and took it higher than it deserves, subverted and utterly disregarded hoary, chin stroking… fuck it… boring… notions of what a song/album/concert could/should be.

And he left us with Blackstar. All of the above.

The Comet is Coming - Channel The Spirits

It's quite hard to believe that this is the sound of just sax, synths and drums (or ‘skins’, if I'm trying to be vaguely alliterative) recorded (to tape no less) in a three day burst of creativity. The sound, all pervading atmosphere and ethos at large here is worthy of the entire Arkestra, amped up and channelled through Funkadelic via Leftfield at their most furious. If they've heard Channel The Spirits, then I imagine that the house band at the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe are probably worried about losing their residency. Sub point: Slam Dunk In A Blackhole (which wouldn't sound out of place on either Blackstar or Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp A Butterfly) is my song title of the year.

Savages - Adore Life

Opening with the three chord grind of The Answer, Adore Life positively pulses and howls (the guitars sound feral) before dissolving into more cerebral territory for the title track. Jehnny Beth's lyrics run the gamut of love, turning the subject inside out fearlessly, never breaking eye contact. It's an intense, beautifully paced piece of work, packaged in monochrome but red blooded through and through.

David Holmes – Late Night Tales

I was introduced to Mr Holmes via one of those late 90s Chillout compilations. The culprit, 'Rodney Yates' is a journey borne on floating ride cymbal and strings a la Lalo Schriffin, which led me to its mother album 'Let's Get Killed'. Over the subsequent years, I've lapped up pretty much everything he's done, be it soundtracks (Out of Sight springs to mind), Psychedelic Funk mix albums (Come Get it I Got It), freaky Hip Hop (The Free Association) and this year, Late Night Tales and Unloved (more of the latter in a bit).

If there's a unifying thread to Mr Holmes' work, to these ears, it's the sense that he's a man outside of time. His work is peppered with samples and ideas from pretty much every decade since it became possible to capture and replicate sound. But this is not the back catalogue of a retro mongering throwback, it's a body of work that speaks of a genuine love of sound and an overarching desire to share it. I have no idea how much of his own music is created from samples and how much is original composition... the lines are utterly blurred and it makes for compelling listening.

In these interconnected times, the Internet, behaving like it's second syllable, drags the endless bounty of musical creativity onwards with ever decreasing regard for chronology and Holmes has a rare talent for sifting through the haul for treasures. If you're on the search for new artists then Mr Holmes beats Spotify or any app you could imagine hands down. He's arguably never been better than on Late Night Tales. It's a beautiful, torchlit collection made all the more striking by the fact that it's largely beatless and full of acoustic and vocal performances thematically linked to questions of love and loss. A truly mesmerising experience.

Church of The Cosmic Skull – Is Satan Real?

I've spent the last few years resolutely trying to engage with modern sounds after years in a proto metal, Sabbath indebted cul de sac (not a bad place to be admittedly, but it's good to shake things up every so often). This year however, I've found myself slipping back into my comfort zone, maybe as a way of escaping the hideousness of 2016, maybe because albums like Is Satan Real? are so fucking tasty. It combines the vocal, harmonic... There's no other way of saying this... pomp of Queen, hooks and almost jazzy flourishes that The Zombies would've actually stayed split up over and a deliciously sparse smattering of Sabbathian crunch. The fact that they only properly let rip on the closing 'Evil In Your Eye' is a masterstroke that has had me reaching for the repeat button, repeatedly.

Metronomy - Summer '08

Joe Mount is not cool, he’s no rock star and he doesn’t swagger, but the music he makes does, albeit in a slightly jerky, twitchy St Vitus on espresso way. When I was small I used to make myself spaceships out of bits of furniture, and go on adventures of the imagination… Listening to Metronomy has always felt a little like being invited into someone else's world of 'let's pretend'. One where the lightsabers are still visibly made from mismatched lego bricks and the Darth Vader helmet is quite obviously a plastic policeman's helmet with a flap of cardboard inexpertly sellotaped around the back. They aren’t smooth. They're not making music for parties in and around Jacuzzis and JD shaped swimming pools, but 40 minutes in the company of this collection of off kilter electro funk, break and disco beats and aching slow jams might allow you to pretend that you are. And, once again, the artifice is far more stimulating and appealing than reality.

Opeth - Sorceress

Opeth. Opeth. Opeth. I just bloody love them. That's a shit review, but it's basically how I feel. I guess that how you feel about Opeth depends on your views on progressive music. If you think it's wanky and unnecessary then you'd be forgiven for avoiding Opeth but I'd argue that you're mistaken, because there are very few elements included in an Opeth number that could be considered unnecessarily wanky. Dramatic shifts in tempo and volume and time signature abound on this, as all, their albums. The key to their success though, is that they're artfully and meticulously placed with an almost architectural eye for detail that seems set on firing the imagination, rather than bludgeoning the listener with its own cleverness. In the truest sense of the word Sorceress is a wonderful addition to an enviable back catalogue.

Hedvig Mollestad Trio – Black Stabat Mater

 I don't really know much about these ladies. I'm not sure whether to describe it as Jazzy proto metal or proto metallic jazz... maybe the latter. But it is fierce. Really fierce. The five tracks slowly descend from a (relatively) straight forward opening freak out on a jazzy, turning bluesy groove, to nightmarish feedback and clatter that could be mistaken for King Crimson being dissolved in a rusted cauldron of battery acid stirred by Trolls. Also: One of my favourite album covers in a long time.

Paul Simon - Stranger To Stranger

Received wisdom has it that 74 year olds should just rest on the canon, firing blanks, cashing in on the willingness of Mojo readers to part with their coin for ever more padded out and barrel scraping reissues. Paul Simon seems to think that the best way to get through one's three score and tens is to build an album from the beats up and then bring in a designer and player of micro tonal instruments to add layer upon layer of otherwordly sound. I like Paul Simon. A lot.

Unloved - Guilty of Love

A collaboration between Jade Vincent, Keefus Ciancia and David Holmes (him again). As with Late Night Tales, Unloved is a creature of the night, but this time with teeth, paraffin eyes and a taste for smoke in the back of the throat. Guitars twang, drums can be heard reverberating up blackened alleyways and the astonishing voice of Jade Vincent entices, admonishes, damns and defies. When A Woman is Around should be considered a classic, 'Truth is seldom found (by a man) when a woman is around... Lose that Cheshire grin, take it like a man, keep what's yours, leave me mine.' Although there's a dark 60s vibe at work here, it's beautifully realised, with the faultless songwriting, performance and production giving it an elusive timelessness.

Nissenenmondai - N/A

This album is a perfect example of singular and fearless exploration.

They're a power trio, but that's where the similarities to that particular trope end.

They veer closest to making minimalist Techno, but with guitar, bass and drums.

They sound like they're being beamed in from the future, and not necessarily a good one.

Some of the album is hard to listen to and imagine it having been created by humans.

That's why I love it.

[jammedmuses]

So @bolides inflicted this picrew on me before its title and i sure did not see that coming so naturally i will inflict it on yall too lmao

But wtv its a cool picrew so i made banshee my beloved........ my soft marshmallow lady........

[jammedmuses]

what Color is your Aura?

GARNET

brooches, anthologies, stained glass, leaves, dining chairs, long robes, curtains. your essence is garnet: you are a quiet flame that dwells beneath your soft surface. self-confidence armors you; many would call you stubborn, though protective of what has come to dwell in your heart. always just a whisper away is your temper, promising to make the world bend if it would make your loved ones smile. you are the guardian. you are the volcano. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of terracotta, tawny, crimson, and umber, who share your proactive nature. you are also drawn to the vibrant indigo and marigold, who will help you grow and teach you to name what's inside of you. however, you may struggle to get along with the internal personalities of teal and hickory who are too willing to be silent.

ROSE

lace, blown kisses, milk tea, paper fans, pillows, ballet slippers, fairy wings. your essence is rose: you are the young at heart, the gentle. you cherish existing without pretense; the future seems unsteady, so instead you reminiscence about the past and live in the present. it is hard for you to grow because you feel you have already bloomed. you are the youthful. you are the dove. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of pink, magenta, pearl, and lavender, who share your idealism. you are also drawn to the practical ivory and beige, who will help you grow and show you that you can accomplish by yourself. however, you may struggle to get along with the focused personalities of sage and cream who don't watch out for you.

tagged by: tucked my hand into @staticmonitor ‘s pocket and stole it! tagging: @faztastiic @funbonded​ anyone else just steal it off my pocket too lmao

[jammedmuses]

let the discourse begin [ x ]

Tisk, Tisk, you got Dissed! Funtime Freddy, Santa noticed that red stapler you stole from your co-worker's office desk last month.

“ Jokes on you! Seeing William flipping the entire office upside down looking for that stapler is WELL worth getting onto the Naughty List! ”

“ And we’d do it again! ”

-----------

There's a reason Santa created a Naughty List. And you're just one of those reasons Golden Freddy.

Literally couldn’t care less, he goes by his own moral compass and his own moral compass alone.

-----------

Santa's been watching you Springtrap, and right now you have a very large coal mine coming your way.

Tired sigh. “ ... thanks. It’ll keep me warm during Winter, I guess... ”

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So far you are on the "Nice" list Millie, but you'd better watch out... Santa's checking his list twice!

“ ........ I’m 14. ”

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Well, Gretel, you've been a good kid this year. Santa has lots of good stuff for you this Christmas!

“ Well! I suppose that’s not too shabby all things considered, h- heh...! ”

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Tails Doll do you kiss your Mom with that mouth?! Santa puts kids on the Naughty List for cursing, and frankly you've got a mouth like a Sailor! Naughty List for you.

“ Fuck you! What mouth!? WHAT FUCKING MOUTH do you see on my face!? ”

----------

Now, Bendy. Santa knows you're trying, but it still doesn't make up for last year. You're on the Naughty List.

“ WELL THEN?? I GUESS TRYING DOESN’T FUCKING MEAN ANYTHING THEN??? HOW ABOUT I DON’T TRY AT ALL AND BECOME THE LEGEND AT THE VERY TOP OF YOUR NAUGHTY LIST THEN??? HUH??? ” He took this very personally.

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Alice Angel, you must have been EXTRA nice this year. Santa has a smiley face next to your name on the Nice List!

“ Oh, you~! I just do what I can! ”

------------

Congratulations, Jinx! You've made the Nice List! JUST KIDDING. You've been a very bad, bad person.

“ Ugh... thanks for reminding me that I suck forever no matter what. ”

------------

In the words of Larry David, you've been "pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good" this year Breach.

“ Of course! I make sure everything’s good and pretty in place! ” She might have misinterpreted this at some point...

------------

Ho ho ho! Nice try, Banshee. Thought you could slip one past the Big Guy, huh? Naughty.

Literally starts sobbing. “ I-I’m trying the best I can--! ” How could you do this to her!?

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Whoa Ketut! You need to start thinking about packing your bags if you don't change your ways soon. Santa is more likely to hunt you down than bring you a present.

“ He’s envious that Halloween is and will ALWAYS be 666 thousand times better than Christmas! Come at me, un-spooky old fart! ”

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You'll be getting a big gift this year! A big, big box of packaged air. That's right Cubby you're on the Naughty List.

“ Oh, com’on! Actually, wait.. I can just paint a Santa Claus replica who will gift me! ” Cubby no that’s cheating, that’s exactly the kinda thing that gets you on the naughty list.

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The world could use more people like you, Gintara. Keep up the good work, and you'll make the Nice List every year!

“ Thank you! I’m glad I’m making a positive difference! I just wish my mother would’ve chosen this path as well. She would be much happier, I’m sure. I know I am! ”

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Iasis, Santa has something extra special for you this year! You're at the top of the Nice List.

“ Um. I mean thank you, but-- at the top of the list? Did I really earn that...? ” Come on kid, give yourself more credit.

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Nina Blip, you REALLY put ex-lax in Santa's cookies?! Don't expect to see your name on the Nice List anytime soon.

“ Whatever, I don’t want nor need your imaginary judgmental fat ass getting stuck down my chimney anyway. ” Don’t you have anything to say about the ex-lax, Nina?

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So far you are on the "Nice" list Bea, but you'd better watch out... Santa's checking his list twice!

“ Hey! People can’t make perfect choices every second! ”

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Kiki, you have been sooooo nice that you make "The CareBears" look selfish.

Happy bouncing!

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Way to help that old lady, Technum. Santa will certainly add you to the Nice List this year.

“ Well, when an ‘old program’ doesn’t run well, you should always find ways for it to run smoother instead of having it struggle until it crashes! ” Well that’s quite the analogy to “you should always help others” but it works.

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The world could use more people like you, Spectrum. Keep up the good work, and you'll make the Nice List every year!

“ I’m sure my brother is a far better role model, but thanks. ”

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You better start making some room for the huge lump of coal you’re about to get, or either start cleaning up your act Goose!

No. :)

It might as well use that very coal to commit arson. :))

[jammedmuses]

here just take these bastards

[jammedmuses]

make a tea based on your muse!!

tagged by: pickpocketed from @celerericius tagging: @autopatheia @funbonded @greenhillzcne​ anyone else feel free to steal

below the cut is everyone else cuz why tf not

[jammedmuses]

𝐀𝐑𝐓   𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑   𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐃   𝐎𝐍   𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑   𝐔𝐑𝐋 .

tagged by: no one tagging: just steal from me lmao

[jammedmuses]

@funbonded​  said:

6’0′’ funfred vs Millie (i mean i goofed anyway i think count the ways funfred is 6'9′’)

Send your character’s height and I’ll compare it to mine. (accepting)

[jammedmuses]

What Crystal Are You?

amazonite

above all you seek truth. you want to understand how the world works. you want to take things apart and put them back together again. your methods of dealing with stress and fear is to understand where it comes from. you face your demons with a focused mind and readied fists. you see everything so clearly, except yourself. it's so much harder to look inward than it is to analyze everyone else. what are you so afraid of looking at? what is it within yourself you don't want to touch? maybe one day you'll be strong enough to expose the parts of yourself you're afraid to understand.

tagged by: @robotnikium yAAAS tagging: @greenhillzcne @sonicheroesnvillains @gamblealife​ anyone else feel free to just YOINK it from me

[jammedmuses]

@statichidden​ said: Tag Yourself

Send “Tag Yourself” and I will make a tag yourself meme out of your muse(s) (ACCEPTING)

[jammedmuses]

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 !

1. alias / name: JellyCream(Jam), Cream, Jelly, Pizza, sometimes ‘broke witch’ on Discord

2. birthday: July 1st

3. zodiac sign: Cancer

4. height: Uhhh, last checked, 5′8′’ ft (around 172 cm)

5. hobbies: Brainstorming, drawing/art, writting, roleplaying, gaming (usually casual,) sleeping, aesthetics, procrastinating

6. favorite color: Purple

7. favorite book: ... FNAF The Silver Eyes

8. last song: Youmusic - Broken Hearts

9. last film / show: Space Jam / Loonatics Unleashed

10. recent reads: Studying materials (screaming into the void)

11. inspiration: When I’m not particularly looking for it, it can get me just about anywhere (including in the freaking shower,) but most notoriously from music, when I’m trying to sleep, and medias/franchises I like to consume.

12. story behind url: First the ‘[blank]muses’ most used naming format for multimuses’ URLS. “Jammed” comes from a secondary portion of some of my aliases “-Jam”, also as a pun nodding to both the jam as a musical term, as well as the condiment you may use on your toast. I know there’s also “traffic jam” and “toe jam” but I want nothing to do with those..

13. fun fact about me: I like my fried eggs soft so I can dip other portions of my dish (I.E. French fries, steak bits, etc) into the yolk.

tagged by - no one! YOINKed it from @raichoose​​

tagging - @funbonded @faztastiic​ anyone else can just YOINK it from me as well!

[jammedmuses]

Which imaginary illness do you have?

SHEDDING

You are losing yourself, bit by bit. Your own skin is peeling away, moths forming out of it as you shed more of yourself. Your breaths birth hummingbirds and doves as they abate, your fears turning into savage things of teeth and claw. How much more of yourself will you have to grate away until you fit the mold you set yourself today? How much more will have to go tomorrow? How much longer until you've shed too much of yourself - until the pieces you left by the roadside are more than what little you have left?

BLOOMING POX

Their roots have taken hold inside your veins, your breath is shared now. Life grows from your flesh - an inescapable, floral infection. It will feast upon you until you have nothing left to give, it will trap you and make you unable to move forward. You know all this as you watch the flowers bloom just above your skin, their own petals stained with crimson - but isn't it nice to be needed, doesn't it feel good to have them depend on you for them to grow out of your not yet rotting corpse.

TEETHING

Your teeth are growing sharper, until they can rend flesh as easily as air. Your hunger is growing ardent, the unquenchable fire of yearning burning steady in your gums. You want so much - you want to devour it all. The thrill of the chase becomes more and more of a rush until you finally sink your canines into someone. Sometimes your smile feels so wide, as if you could swallow reality whole.

MELANCHOLIC PNEUMONIA

You carry the past with you, it clutters up your lungs. The golden sand of beloved memories, the rainbow of missed opportunities you still agonize over, the dust of a life spend doing mostly banal things. They escape you with every breath, your cough stained with impossible colors. In a way the dust reflects your constant forgetting of the past - the hundreds of things you let go of every day to make room for hundreds more. You are choking on your own past, the architect of your own demise, each breath sour and harsh. Letting go of the past now won't do you any good - it's far to late already, your melancholy is already flooding your lungs. Enjoy a few last breaths of the present. The past is catching up quick.

tagged by: originally @cosmosfated​ (for Nina Blip) but doing it again tagging: just YOINK from me

[jammedmuses]

Tagged by: snatched from @apocalypsxmaidxn​ Tagging: @gotham-crusader​ @maximummuses​ @drecmsdrcwn​

▌𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : Always refers to self as just Jinx.

▌𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 : Single but has her fair share of crushes.

▌𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 :  Probability Manipulation- Control over (bad) luck; Acrobatics; Hand-to-hand combat.

▌𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑 : Soft pink, slitted pupils.

▌𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑 : Soft pink, held in the shape of a horseshoe by black metallic bands.

▌𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒 : Unnamed mother; More drawn to consider close friends as family.

▌𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒 : Unknown

▌𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 : Being shunned (especially over things beyond her,) running out of blueberry pie, people entering her space and/or looking through her things without her consent.

▌𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 : Fashion, window-shopping, drawing (usually unicorns or outfits.)

▌𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 : Most of those instances happened before her redemption.

▌𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 : No, she’s never had it in her soul to go that far.

▌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 : The closest would probably be the Cheshire cat.

▌𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 : Stealing/shoplifting before redemption, afterwards she may still have urges upon seeing products that really interest her but can’t afford, but she tries not to act on them.

▌𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐒 : She used to idolize Madame Rouge, aspiring to be like her, but threw that all away after meeting KidFlash. After that, whoever she began to look up to is really up to especulation as she herself doesn’t really verbalize or hints at it, but she does develop a sort of admiration for Raven and Bumblebee.

▌𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : A biromantic disaster, leaning towards boys.

▌𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 / 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 : While Jinx has dated and had thoughts on dating, marriage and kids aren’t things she has significantly thought of yet-- Probably wouldn’t be opposed to marriage, but could be wary of having kids due to the possibility of one inherithing her ability, which would earn them hell and hatred that she herself has felt in her bones.

▌𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 : She likes dark and goth-like clothes the most, but is open-minded to things outside that style spectrum.

▌𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 : Since Jinx’s way of loving is very ‘silent’ (unless we’re talking about crushing,) it’s hard to trace her beloveds. After a failed relationship with Kold, the whole thing with Cyborg/Stone, and not being very sure about her feelings for KidFlash, Jinx is frankly a little weary when it comes to loving romantically (give her some time, ouch.) But she does harbor a wider, platonic sort of love for her peers-- heck a small piece of her still sort of misses her villanous friends but she keeps that to herself in worry that the Titans will take it as her relapsing.

▌𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒 : Jinxs appears easier to befriend over shared common grounds, and will develop friendship with people she ends up coexisting with enough (like classmates, or being in a team.) She’s not the most open book, but is by no means unfriendable.

▌𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 :  Unknown

▌𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐓 : Counting out her room, shoppings, and sometimes libraries and/or cafes; Also when she can afford it, she likes traveling to Gotham City for a little while.

▌𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 : Whichever the current occasion calls for, though may feel kind of ueasy if completely by herself in the open ocean.

▌𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 : Jinx doesn’t really appear to have a type, has she’s dated and/or has had crushes on both villains and heroes. If there is chemistry, there is a chance.

▌𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒 : Whichever the current situation calls for, but usually will only go camping if there’s company, as doing so by herself sounds like a “sureway manner for her to go missing under mysterious circumstances.”