#jake seresin x shy!wifey

[topguncortez]

f you’re still doing prompts : jake and shy wifey !

please. make me feel good. no one else can like you.

❛ you're mine, and i take care of what belongs to me. ❜

Body Love || Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

opposites attract masterlist || main masterlist

synopsis: Y/N has been having a hard time feeling confident since the births of her twins. Jake is determined to make her remember how beautiful she is.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: smutty-ish, cursing, negative self talk, mentions of c-sections

note: lmao not me going back to my graduation challenge requests. but think of this as a soft launch before whumptober gets started

She was doing it again. Jake had caught her doing it several times in the past couple of days. That look in her eye told him that what she was looking at, she didn’t like what she was seeing in the mirror. She furrowed her eyebrows as she touched her cheeks gently, poking at the skin on her face. Jake tried his hardest to stay out of sight to watch her. 

Y/N was gorgeous. She was the most gorgeous girl that Jake had ever laid eyes on. Her body had changed a lot over the years from age, and carrying five of the most beautiful kids that Jake had ever seen in his life. Her thighs were a bit bigger, her stomach not as flat as it used to be, her breasts weren’t as perky, and her hair had some grays in it, all small changes of age and being a mother. But the scar that sat on her lower abdomen was the most noticeable to her. The scar wasn’t there a year ago, but it was now a permanent reminder of probably the worst day of her life. 

The pregnancy and birth of Jasper and Maxwell Seresin had been anything but easy. Throughout the whole thing, Y/N was having problems with her blood pressure. One moment it was too high, and the next it would be too low. She had tried her best to remain as stress-free as possible, but it was hard with a naval aviator for a husband and three other kids running around the house. A c-section was the last thing she wanted, but when it came down to a life-or-death situation, Y/N agreed to it. The scar reminded her of the moment when she almost lost her babies. She didn’t like it, but Jake loved it. 

He loved every single mark on her tummy. Whenever they were intimate, Jake would kiss every single stretch mark on her tummy, sending flutters through her body. But they hadn’t been that intimate since Jasper and Maxwell were born nearly a year ago. Y/N never liked to take her shirt off anymore when they would have sex. She would hardly show herself when they would get dressed in the morning, she’d either step into the closet or the bathroom. They didn’t shower or bathe together like they once did, in fact, she went as far as locking the door whenever she did to deter Jake from entering. 

Jake didn’t like being iced out like this. He had spent years trying to break down her walls, to get her to let him. She slowly opened up to him, and gradually built up that confidence to let him know everything about her, to let him truly see her. But now, it felt like he had moved ten steps backward. 

He sighed and pushed off the wall he was leaning on, as he watched Y/N lift her shirt gently and run her fingertips over the scar. She looked at the reflection of the scar in the mirror and frowned at it. Jake walked up behind her, and placed his hands on her hips, causing her to jump at the action. Y/N tried to push her shirt back down to cover the scar, but he stopped her. 

“Why do you hide this from me?” Jake asked, looking at the scar in the mirror. He gently ran his thumb over the skin and leaned his head into the crook of her neck. 

“I don’t like it,” She answered, “I hate seeing it. It’s ugly.” 

“Yeah, but it reminds you of how much of a champion you are,” Jake said, and placed his lips on her skin, “Shows the sacrifice that you made to bring your babies into the world.” 

“They were cut out of me,” She sniffled and looked away from the scar. “My last babies and I didn’t even actually give birth to them.” 

“Stop that, yes you did,” Jake turned her body, so she was facing him. He gently lifted her head up, “You gave birth to Jasper and Maxwell. It wasn’t how you wanted it to be, but you still did it. It still means something.” 

“Why have you stayed with me?” Y/N asked him honestly, looking up at his big green eyes. She could see the heartbreak in his eyes the moment the words left her mouth, “I-I’m not as pretty, or as confident or as smart as some of the girls you used to bring around the Hard Deck. So, why did you choose me? Why did you stay with me?” 

“I stayed with you because you didn’t throw yourself at me, or any of the other pilots that walked into there. I chose you because you are a kind, gentle, old soul, who would rather stay home and eat strawberry cupcakes and watch Bob Ross paint ‘happy little trees’ instead of going out and getting piss drunk,” Jake explained, “I chose you, because when I saw you. . . I saw my whole future. I saw our wedding, I saw our first house, our first deployment, our kids, that huge ass flower garden you made me plant and sat by sipping on lemonade looking as good as a Sin on Sunday,” Y/N chuckled at his words. Jake caressed her cheek, and kissed both of them, before grabbing both her hands, 

“If I could go back in time to the night that we first met, I would choose you, over and over,” Jake said and kissed her lips. 

“Even though I look like this now,” She gestured to her body. 

“Especially when you look like this,” Jake said. Y/N let out a gasp as Jake quickly turned them, and placed her on the bed. He climbed on top of her, and looked down at her body, “God damn, you look so fucking sexy. You looked sexy then, and you look sexy now. Your body has changed in the most delicious ways.” Jake pressed his hips into hers, and her eyes widened at the feeling of his semi-hard cock, “I get hard just thinking about you. Thinking about your ass, your thighs, your tits, your tummy.” 

He moaned as his hands grazed the sides of her stomach, “Your tummy. . . fuck, it has to be my favorite place. I love it. I love seeing it stretch and grow with my kids.” Jake pushed the shirt that she was wearing up underneath her boobs, and started placing kisses down her sternum, to her belly.

“Please Jake,” Y/N panted. 

“You don’t realize how crazy you drive me,” Jake shook his head, climbing back up her body, and placing kisses on her neck, “Fuck sometimes I feel like a fucking teenager, getting instantly hard when you walk into a room.” He pushed his hips against hers, his hard-on straining against his joggers. 

“Show me,” Y/N whispered, grabbing his face in her hands, “Show me what I do to you. Make me feel good.” 

“Yeah?” He asked, green eyes peering down at her, a hint of mischief in them, “You want me to make you feel good?” Jake’s hand slowly worked down her body, until he was cupping her covered pussy in his hand. Y/N nodded her head frantically, shamelessly grinding against his hand. He was hardly even touching her, and she was begging for him, “What do you want from me, Y/N? Tell me.” 

“Your fingers, in me.” 

“Like this?” Jake asked, feigning innocence as he slipped his hand down the front of the boxer shorts she was wearing. His fingers expertly parted her, sliding through her slick and gently into her. Y/N’s head tilted back with a loud moan. 

“Yes,” Y/N moaned as Jake’s fingers curled in and out of her, his lips sucking gently at her neck, “No one else can make me feel good like you do.” Jake nodded his head, pulling his fingers out of her and gently circling her clit, “Fuck, Jake.” 

“So naughty for me,” Jake chuckled against her skin, “I love it when you curse.” 

“I love it when you touch me,” Y/N said back, her hand reaching down to palm him through his pants. She pressed her lips against his, her free hand gripping the back of his neck and playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. Jake’s hips bucked into her hand, as his tongue slipped into her mouth. 

“Jake,” Y/N cried out, as his fingers slipped back into her, curling them against that sweet spot, “Make me cum, please.” “Don’t worry baby,” Jake cooed, grabbing her hand and pinning it above her. She whined at the loss of pleasure from him, “You’re mine and I take care of what belongs to me.”

taglist: @damrlova @phoenix138 @mygyn @cherrycola27 @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @angelbabyange @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @t0kyoreveng3rs @frazie99 @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @malindacath @justenoughmadnesss @sagittarius-flowerchild @hardballoonlove @harrysgothicbitch @hookslove1592 @noonenuts @marvellouscroissant @senawashere @bradshawsprincess @alwayshave-faith

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[and-claudia]

And-Claudia's October Fic Recs!!!

I started this 47 min into the month.... oops...

Also, a lot of these are SMUT!!! You are responsible for your own media consumption, if you're not 18+ you should not be reading these!!!!

Italics are smut!! (Let me know if I missed one!!)

Thank you to all these wonderful writers!! Please be sure to show them all some love by liking, commenting, and reblogging their work!!

Wade x reader x Logan

Late-night dreams come true (Logan x reader x Wade) by @captain039

sleeping between LOGAN and WADE by @dorkszn

The Home Sweet Home series! by @teamred

Logan x Fem!Reader x Wade with the whole pregnancy thing by @pinkusmaximus

Paddy x Reader (Speak No Evil)

Dirty Little Secret by @coopers-bunny

Dirty Little Secret part 2 by @coopers-bunny

Paddy knows best by @gus-the-goldfish

Blood by @gus-the-goldfish

Last Call by @call-me-little-sunshine84

Logan Howlett x Reader

logan can’t sleep without you by @wolvietxt

masochist!Logan hc’s by @robo-writing

The Worst Logan by @coweye

Headlock by @ddejavvu

Safe Word by @ddejavvu

Practice by @selfcarecap

Mean by @ddejavvu

Period Sex with Logan by @jammydodger3579

in every lifetime by @pedroscurls

GIRL DAD LOGAN by @rosenclaws

My Girl by @bpmiranda

Sex Pollen part one by @honey-on-your-tongue

Sex Pollen part two by @honey-on-your-tongue

Ex Logan breeding kink by @bpmiranda

Juno by @prettycoolgirl

baby trapping by @romana-after-dark

Shy Reader by @bpmiranda

being pregnant with logan’s baby by @bpmiranda

L𝗈𝗀𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗍𝗍 𝗑 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗀𝗇𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋! by @wolvietxt

old man!logan obsessing over his pregnant wifey by @rqnarok

Halloween by @selfcarecap

Young! Charles Xavier x Reader

Denim by @charlesxavierthirster3000

Din Djarin x Reader

I'll Be Yours If You'll Be Mine by @dindjarindiaries

Crosshair (TBB) x Reader

I'm Right Here by @dystopicjumpsuit

Jake Seresin x Reader

Carried Me With You by @ultralightpoe

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ startrekfangirl2233 Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

The Be Kind Rewind is back with @startrekfangirl2233! Star! You were so thoughtful in the presentation of your re-reads and so appreciative of the creators—thank you!

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

To keep this going throughout the summer, I'll continue to invite friends—other creators and readers—to share their lists. Stay tuned!

If you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier—let's keep this going as long as we can!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

A Gun Amongst Daggers, Jake Seresin, @desert-fern This fic is amazing! What would you say if I told you that Jake finally met his match? That match is none other than SEALs Team Leader and the most badass bitch of them all, Bear. He's whipped. Whipped, I tell you. It's so refreshing to see Jake's soft side and to see his dynamic with a woman who knows exactly what she wants and how to go get it, too!

Ghost, Jake Seresin, @dakotakazansky Dakota Kazansky has a legacy behind her surname and her dad's blood runs through her veins. It's no surprise then that she ends up flying. On her journey to Top Gun, she meets one Jake. They're instant friends, but what happens when they take the jump from friends to something more?

Hang Your Halo, Jake Seresin, @mayhemmanaged This series is amazing! Secret missions, angst, fluff, smut and more?! Hell yes. Also, Jake and Beckham have one of the best relationships I've ever read!

Is It Working for You? (+ Roo x Baby Girl universe), Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterforme Alright, so next up, I want you all to meet the queen of the Roo-nicorns. Em is a unicorn of an author and a unicorn of a person. Everything she writes is amazing! With Roo and Baby Girl, she creates the richest, most beautiful universe I've ever read.

Landslide, Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterbruiser So if you guys are in the Top Gun fandom at all, then you 100% should read Landslide. Millie is one of the best author's and sweetest people you'll ever interact with. And this story? It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and it will 100% make you want to throttle some people.

Opposites Attract universe, Jake Seresin + assorted daggers, @topguncortez This series is amazing! G covers such a wide array of relationships so beautifully! Whether you read this for Coyote and Val, Jake and Shy!Wifey, Cerberus and Phoenix, or Dragon and Rooster, you will not regret it.

Red, White, and Rooster, Bradley Bradshaw, @cherrycola27 It's politics + the Daggers. But this AU has a sexy President Bradshaw and an equally sexy Vice President Seresin. This fic has its fair share of jaw-dropping, angst-inducing moments, and I loved every minute of this rollercoaster ride. Wise-woman is one of the most powerful female characters, and I adore her.

To-Do List collection, Jake Seresin, @thedroneranger In addition to curating this Be Kind Rewind, Jay is also one of the most amazing writers in this entire fandom. Her entire To-Do List collection is beautiful. Jake and Mrs. Seresin have a relationship that defies the ages and is way too damn sexy to boot. The chemistry these two have with each other? It's electric!

Creator's Own

Sometimes All You Need (A Getaway Car), Jake Seresin Jake's a getaway car driver and the sweetest man in the world in this series. I'm obsessed with him, and it's not just because I wrote him the way he is! 🤭

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn  @sweetwhispersofchaos  @horseshoegirl  @the-annoying-fan  @dingochef  @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon  @roosterforme  @cherrycola27 @galaxy-of-stories  @taytaylala12  @malindacath  @violyn20  @awildewit  @potato-girl99981  @shanimallina87  @blue-aconite  @djs8891  @linkpk88  @furiousladyking  @daggerspare-standingby  @princess76179  @jstarr86  @hecate-steps-on-me  @darkheartcherry  @soulmates8  @roosters-girl  @dempy  @roosterisdaddy36  @hangmanscoming  @s-u-t  @mavrellover91  @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[topguncortez]

Pink Skies - J. Seresin x Shy!Wifey

whumptober masterlist || previous day

Prompt: "Leave No Trace Behind, Like You don't Even Exist"

synopsis: The Seresin kids have all come home, but not for the reason they wish it was for. Jake has to face his hardest challenge yet, saying goodbye to the love of his life. Based on the song "Pink Skies" By Zach Bryan

warnings: MAJOR character death, implied suicide, dying of a broken heart, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of postmortem body tampering (does not happen, but it is a concern that is brought up), mentions of parental death, grieving process.

word count: 4.3k

“The kids are in town for a funeral. So pack the car and dry your eyes.” 

Alex let out a deep sigh as he parked his car in front of the one place he had been dreading coming back to. Ever since getting that call, he had waited until the last possible moment to make the trip down from Lemoore. He would’ve put it off longer, showing up the day of, but a tearful call from his sister told him he needed to be back sooner. 

The house felt cold as he turned the knob, the only sign of life was the misplaced shoes by the front door and his dad’s truck in the driveway. He had been back a few weeks prior, helping do some odd end things while his dad attended to his mother, and even then, the house still felt warm and lived in. Now, this house felt anything like the childhood home he had been raised in. 

“Elle!?” Alex shouted, hearing voices and clattering from the kitchen. 

“In here!” His sister called out. Her blonde hair looked like a halo around her head as she turned to greet her brother, “Hey,” Her smile was bright, well as bright as it could be as she pulled him for a tight hug, “How are ya stranger?” 

“Been good,” Alex nodded stiffly, pulling back from his sister, “Where’s everyone else?” 

Ella sighed, stuffing her hands in the back pocket of her jeans, “Eli and Stella are at Val and Javy’s. I sent the twins to go grocery shopping and Dad is um. . . at the funeral home with grandpa and grandma.” 

Alex nodded again, watching as his sister got back to work cooking whatever meal she managed to scrounge up. Even though she had the looks and personality of their father, Ella Seresin was her mother to a t. She was the one who spent hours in the kitchen helping make meals and bake. Alex sat down at the kitchen table, glancing briefly at the various hospital bills and sympathy cards that had gathered there. Flowers had also started to gather around the kitchen, and he guessed that Ella also took care of all those. 

“Where’s Piper?” Ella spoke up from stirring something on the stove, “I swear Dad must have been photosynthesizing these past two weeks. I barely had the basic ingredients for spaghetti.” 

“She’ll come down tomorrow with Billie.” 

“God, I miss that girl.” 

Alex did too even though it had only been a day since he had seen his little girl. Her big blue eyes, soft blonde curls and big smile could make anyone in this situation feel better. All he wanted to do was curl up with his girls by his side. 

The two eldest Seresin kids sat in silence as Ella continued to work on dinner. Alex missed the days of being so near his siblings. Him and Ella had always been two peas in a pod, though their personalities varied greatly, they always leaned on each other when they needed one another. Alex could remember those late nights, sneaking back through the backdoor after being at a party they shouldn’t have been at. Their mom, somehow, always knowing that they had left, would leave a plate of cookies, water, and tylenol on the kitchen counter with a note: 

“Cookies gone, means you are home. Wake me if you need - love, mom” 

How Alex wished he could turn back time and get a plate of her homemade chocolate chip cookies again. 

The silence was broken with the sound of the garage door opening, followed by the rambunctious sound of the youngest Seresin boys. Jasper and Maxwell Seresin stumbled through the door, grocery bags lined on their arms. Jasper’s blonde hair was long, hitting past his shoulders while Maxwell kept his cut short in a fade. Their eyes both widened seeing their older brother sitting at the table. 

“Do I have to like, salute you or some shit?” Maxwell asked, and Alex chuckled. 

“No you shit head,” Alex smiled, standing up and walking to his younger brother. The boy set the groceries down, embracing Alex in a hug. Alex fought back the sting of tears as he hugged him. Being almost 10 years apart had its positives and negatives. Alex got to watch them grow up with a whole new perspective, but he also missed out on those vital years when he went to the academy. While Maxwell decided he too, was going to join the military, getting into West Point (something that surprised the whole family when he applied), Jasper was going to NYU to major in music (also something that surprised the whole family). 

“Missed you bro,” Maxwell nodded, pulling away from him. 

“Missed you too,” Alex said, “And you,” He looked at Jasper, “Looking like fucking Fabio.” 

Jasper chuckled, running a hand through his hair, “Someone had to live the California lifestyle.” 

“Get over here,” Alex chuckled, pulling him into a hug too, “How are you guys? Doing. . . okay?” 

The twins looked at each other, it was a loaded question with about ten different answers they could give. The easy answer was to say “yes, we’re fine,” but they knew that would be a lie. Instead, they both just shrugged, grabbing plastic bags from the ground and beginning to put them away. Alex shot his sister a look, who also just shrugged. She knew them better than he did, having stayed in San Diego for college, completing ROTC before going to flight school and becoming a pilot herself. As much as Alex envied his sister for living the dream that he wanted, he was mighty proud of her. Only a handful of women were pilots in the Navy, and an even smaller number were TopGun pilots. 

“I’m making spaghetti,” Ella said, trying to cut the tension in the kitchen, “Should be ready soon. Anyone heard from Dad? Eli?” 

“Eli said he’s staying at Aunt Val’s for dinner, but will be home for dessert,” Jasper chimed in, “You did make dessert, didn’t you?” 

“The fuck I look like?” Ella sassed, “Betty Crocker?” 

“Mom would’ve made dessert,” Maxwell said. 

And just like that, the tension filled the kitchen once again. Ella looked around, trying to fight back the burning sensation of tears in her eyes. She was yet to cry, and she told herself she wasn’t going to start crying over a comment about dessert. She sniffled, blinking back tears as she looked up at the ceiling, seeing that there was still a crack in the foundation that her dad was supposed to fix years ago. 

“You’re right,” Ella nodded, “And she would’ve let us take turns having a spoon of batter.” Ella clapped her hands, “Alright, pretty sure I wrote down the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. Help me get them started?” She looked at her three brothers, who all nodded and helped her find the items. 

— — — 

“I know they’ve got plenty of young blood left in them”

It was dark by the time Jake had returned back to the house. This day had been more exhausting than the past three had been. Who knew there were so many details to decide on for a funeral? Jake was thankful that he had sat down and gone through all that so many, many years ago, putting it all in a manila envelope he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk. He was slightly pissed that she had never thought of doing that, but then again, no one expected to one day just die before their life was truly over. 

Jake was surprised when he opened his front door to be met with the sound of laughter and soft music in the background. His house had been quiet for so many days that he had somewhat started to get used to it. He tossed his keys in the bowl by the front door and toed off his shoes, before making his way to the kitchen where he was met with the sight of his five children, all sitting around the table, all laughing. 

“Oh my god,” Eli shook his head, tears in his eyes, “I don’t remember that at all.” 

“Oh I do,” Alex said, “I thought Mom was going to ground my ass for days. I did everything I could to glue Bucky’s urn back together.” 

The whole table burst back out into laughter, not a single one of them paying attention to their dad in the doorway. It felt like old times, and for the first time in a week, Jake felt like his heart was beating in his chest again. There was warmth in the house that he once considered his home. 

“Hey dad,” Ella said, tipping her wine glass to him, “Alex was just telling us about how he and Eli decided to play football in the house and broke Bucky’s urn.” 

“It wasn’t me! It was Maxwell!” Alex pleaded, “I was just supposed to be babysitting.” 

Jake chuckled, shaking his head at the memory. Y/N had been in near tears when she came home to her eldest son sweeping up the ashes of their beloved family pet. Jake couldn’t believe what he was hearing over the phone as she tried to explain. 

“Surprisingly, that’s not the worst phone call I got while at work,” Jake sighed, pulling up a chair and sitting next to his daughter. 

“Oh yeah?” Eli challenged, “What was the worst?” 

“Rooster Bradshaw telling me that my wife had my son on our bedroom floor.” 

— — — 

“So clean the house, clear the drawers, mop the floors, stand tall” 

Jake hated packing. 

Over the course of his military career, he had packed up and moved with a moment's notice. Before he had met Y/N, all his personal belongings had been what the Navy had issued him, plus a handful of civilian clothes and things to go out in. It was easier that way, to shove all his stuff into those navy blue duffle bags and leave for his next assignment. But Y/N had changed all that the moment she came into his life. 

He had never felt like he could settle down, that he could actually put things on his walls, and buy furniture and have an actual house that was a home, and not the standard issued living quarters the Navy had. When he had asked Y/N to move in with him, the first thing she showed up with was a welcome mat to place in front of the door. Jake could remember smiling so big, his cheeks hurt, before handing her his credit card and telling her, “make this place your home.” 

Now, Jake sat in their bedroom, a cardboard box at his feet as he wondered where to start cleaning. He had decided last night that he was going to sell the house. It didn’t feel the same knowing that his wife wasn’t going to walk through the door anymore or spend hours upon hours in the backyard building the garden of her dreams. Their children were all scattered across the country, Ella and Alex in Northern California, Eli in the midwest, and the Twins on the East Coast. Sure, the kids were upset when Jake had told them that he was selling their family home, but they knew it was for the best. Alex had immediately opened his doors for his dad to come live with him. 

Jake sighed, shaking his head and standing up from the bed. The bedroom was going to be a job for another day. 

Jake walked downstairs, where his kids were busy making piles of things to keep and things to give away. He smiled as he watched them reminisce about different items they found; pictures of them as kids, old sports trophies, art projects that hung on the fridge. 

“Hey, who is gonna get the door?” Jasper asked, as he was wearing an old baseball team hat. 

“Oh shit yeah,” Maxwell nodded, “What are we going to do with the door?” 

Alex shrugged, “It's part of the house.” 

“Yeah but, it’s the door,” Jasper whispered, “We all got measured on the door. Hell, even Bucky and Steve got measured on the door.” 

A pang of sadness hit Jake as he looked toward the front closet door. Jake could remember holding a very small, toddler Alex against the door as Y/N marked his height on his first birthday. It had been a tradition ever since then, each Seresin child (both human and furbaby) got measured on their birthday against the door. Jake didn’t say anything as he walked into the garage, grabbing his tool kit. His kids all stared at him as he walked in, opening the closet door and began taking it off the hinges. 

“Dad. . .” Ella called out to him, but the look on his face told them he was determined to get this door off the hinges. Alex stood up from his spot on the floor, going to Jake and helping him. Once the door was off, Alex leaned it against the wall, tears in his eyes. 

“So,” Jake huffed a breath, looking over at his kids, “Ella, there was no way you were four-one on your eighth birthday.” 

Ella ended up taking the door home. 

— — — 

“If you could see ‘em now, you’d be proud.” 

Ella couldn’t remember the last time she had dug her dress blues out of her closet. It had to have been for her Uncle Mav’s funeral years ago. She wasn’t shocked to see them outdated, with her old rank and ribbons still on them. She hated wearing her dress blues. Nothing good ever came from wearing dress blues. 

It wasn’t very often that civilian funerals got honored this way. But when your aunt is the commander of the Pacific Fleet, some calls get made. The moment Grace “Dragon” Bradshaw got the call about Y/N Seresin, she was pulling out all the stops she could. Dragon had called Jake, telling him that she was sending a unit to stand by Y/N’s body, until she could be moved to the funeral home. It was the least she could do, given all Y/N has done over the years. Sure, being a naval aviator was hard work; flying missions at top speed, spending months at a time in the middle of the ocean, working your body to its physical and mental limits, wondering if you are going to make it home alive. But being the one at home, having to take care of the kids and the house and the animals and everything else, was also hard. 

How Y/N did it, was beyond Dragon’s knowledge. Raising five kids while Jake was gone for extended periods of time. Dragon could remember the first time she had to deploy, leaving behind her husband and son, Cash, she thought she wasn’t going to make it through. Dragon had called Bradley in tears, totally ignoring the time difference, begging to see her son. It was even harder for Dragon after the birth of her daughter, Noa. 

Jake sat on his bed, his hat in his hands. His thumb rubbed along the worn edge, trying to find the strength to put it on and go down stairs. He was thankful that Dragon had gotten this honor for his wife, knowing the sacrifices she had made during his time in the Navy. He never imagined that there would come a day, him still in the Navy and Y/N not here. Every plan that they ever had, the things they had dreamed about doing once the ink dried on his retirement papers. 

“I want to get one of those pull-behind campers,” Y/N said as they looked up at the stars one night, “My parents did about a month-long camping trip when dad retired. I want to do that.” 

“Sweets, we can do anything you want,” Jake said, looking at her like she had hung the moon. It took a strong woman to stand next to a military man, and an even stronger woman to have a family with him. If a month-long camping trip to the middle of nowhere was what she wanted, then that’s what she was going to get, “I’ve never been up to Yellowstone, or the Grand Canyon.” 

“You’ve never been to the Grand Canyon!” Y/N gasped, looking over at him. 

“No,” Jake shook his head, “We were going to go but we got called out.” 

Y/N sighed, looking down at her hands. There were a lot of trips that they never got to go on because of Jake’s job. She hated it, but would never admit it outloud, how many things Jake had missed over the years because of the Navy. The births, the birthdays, the first steps, the first days of school, the vacations, the first dances, the first breakups, the college acceptance letters. Jake knew that she had a small resentment for what he did, it was normal, but she never held it over his head. 

“Well, it’s not that cool,” Y/N said, trying to play off her sadness, “It’s like a giant red hole in the earth. And the kids really didn’t like it. Eli cried the whole time and Ella scraped her knee falling in the parking lot. Totally skippable.” 

Jake gave her a small smile, reaching over and grabbing her hand, “Totally.” 

Standing up from the bed, Jake ran his fingers through his graying blonde hair. He remembers joking with Y/N, shortly before her death, that he was happy he was going gray and not losing his hair. But he wouldn’t be surprised if he was going to lose it now, after the past couple of weeks he’s gone through. Jake walked down the stairs, pausing at the sight of his five kids, all of them in various different military dress uniforms, Alex and Ella both in their Navy dress blues, Eli in his Army pinks and greens, and then the twins in their very best black suits with lavender ties (Y/N’s favorite colors). 

“Oh Sweets,” Jake whispered, “You would be so proud of them.” 

And Y/N was beyond proud of her kids. She had jokingly gotten those car decals that say “Proud Military Mom” and “My Daughter is in the Navy!”, putting each of them in the fridge. The kids hated them, blushing in embarrassment every time someone would point them out, but Y/N was so proud of them. She even managed to find a “My Son is going to NYU!” sticker for Jasper. 

“Dad, are you ready?” Maxwell asked, looking up at his father. Out of all the kids, Maxwell turned out looking the most like his mother. 

Jake just nodded, walking the rest of the way down the steps and towards the garage. The kids all looked at each other, before following him out. Jake decided to ride to the funeral with Ella and Maxwell. Piper Trace, Natasha and Luke’s daughter, and Alex’s wife, had come down yesterday with their daughter, Billie, the other day. Though Jake loved his grandchild, he just couldn’t muster up the energy to keep up with her. Eli and Stella rode in another car with Jasper. 

“Your funeral was beautiful. I bet God heard you coming.” 

The funeral was exactly how Jake had planned it, or slightly planned it. He doesn’t remember much about sitting in the funeral director’s office, trying to make decisions on things like what color casket and flower arrangements and songs to play. But everything was perfect, from the flower arrangements to the eulogies the kids gave. When it was Jake’s turn to speak, he removed his hat, placing it gently on the head of the casket. 

“I’m not sure if I can find the right words to say,” Jake started, looking at the large portrait of his wife, “There’s no right words to explain what it feels like to lose the love of your life. Though we’ve been together for half the time we’ve been alive. . . it still feels like we didn’t get enough time. And some days, I’m not sure if I can live without her.” 

It felt like a constant battle for Jake. Getting up every morning and looking over, finding her spot on the bed still made. Seeing her clothes still hung up and put away. Sitting on the couch, waiting for her to walk in with her hands full of either flowers or floral magazines having to get things ready at the shop, or hustling in to grab a quick bite of dinner before dashing off to whatever child’s event she had to go to. There were days, where Jake felt like he was so in the dark, that he would never see the light. That was, until his kids came around. 

Jake’s eyes shifted to his kids, who all sat in the front row, their partners and children sitting behind them, “Your mother was perfect. In every single thing she did. She was perfect. She would lie and say ‘I’m not perfect’, but she was. There will never, ever, be another person like her. And I’m so lucky that she took a chance on me. Even when I messed it all up, she still took a chance on me. There’s going to be a hole in my heart, for the rest of my life.” 

When the funeral was over, the family had a small, private burial. Jake picked a plot that was near Nick Bradshaw, Maverick and Iceman’s plots. Y/N only knew two of the three men, but it still felt right burying her near there. It felt like family, it felt familiar, it felt like the right pieces to the puzzle, putting her there. Each of the five seresin kids sprinkled a bit of dirt on the dark mahogany casket, as it was lowered into the ground. Ella had tried to get her dad to leave, but Jake wanted to stay until the very last moment. 

“Dad,” Ella said softly, placing her hand on his bicep as the groundskeeper started to lower the vault lid, “Come on, Aunt Bea and Uncle Bob are hosting the luncheon.” 

Jake shook his head, “I can’t leave her here like this.” Jake hated thinking about it, but he wanted to make sure that Y/N’s body was left alone, that she was buried and entered in peace, not having been tampered with. Ella frowned at her dad, leaving his side and getting into her car, her feet aching in her dress shoes. Once the dirt had been packed on top of the grave, Jake turned and got into his daughter’s car. 

He was thankful that Bob and Bea decided to host the after funeral meal at their house and not his own. Jake had stayed for a little bit, catching up with old coworkers and friends. He didn’t really have much to say to them, other than he was thankful that they came to the funeral. Jake never realized the amount of people that Y/N had met over the years or had created some impact on. People from Lemoore, Pensacola, Hawai’i, and even from overseas had flown in when they heard what had happened. 

“I’m going to go home,” Jake said to Alex, whose arm was wrapped around his heavily pregnant wife. It was like deja vu, watching Alex and Piper interact. 

“Okay,” Alex nodded, “Do you need me to drive you?” 

“No,” Jake shook his head, looking around at the people at the table. It was truly like a blast from the past. All at the table sat a kid from every dagger squad member; Alex Seresin, Stella Machado, Cash Bradshaw, Piper Trace, Josephine Floyd, Mickey Jr Garcia, and Jordan Fitch. It filled Jake’s heart with joy, knowing that the next generation was as close as he is to his friends. 

“Ella said I can take her car,” Jake said, “Stay here with them. You guys don’t see each other enough anymore.” 

Alex nodded, looking back at the group of kids he grew up with, “Yeah. We’ll be home soon to put Billie to bed.” 

“Take your time,” Jake said, patting his son’s shoulder, before leaving. 

It was only three weeks later that Alex found himself pulling up to his parents house. The same familiar feeling of dread filling his body as he put his car in park and grabbed his duffle bag out of the back. Ella, of course, was already there, trying to make the best of a sad situation. Just as before, the house felt cold and unwelcoming as Alex kicked his shoes off, by his sister’s misplaced ones. 

“Ella?” Alex called out. 

“In here!” She called back from the kitchen. Alex stopped in the doorway, giving his sister a sad smile, “Didn’t think we’d all be back so soon.” 

“Neither did I,” Alex sighed and wrapped his sister up in a tight hug.

It was a lie, Alex knew the last time he saw his dad, that it wasn’t going to be a long time until they were all called back here. Alex felt a tad guilty, the morning that he left, with a box full of stuff from the house, his wife and child in tow, watching his dad’s retreating figure out the rearview window. He wished he would have stayed. He wished that he would have convinced Jake to come up to Lemoore with him. To get some time away from the house, away from the memory of the love he had lost. Jake was stubborn, giving his son the promise to visit soon for the birth of his next grandbaby. But instead, Alex got another tearful call from his sister, begging him to come back home. 

“He said he couldn't live without her.”

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[topguncortez]

Are You With Me? | Ch I

| Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

series masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake gets a terrifying call in the middle of the night that has him rushing to his ex-wife's side. Y/N is put in the middle of two men who she cared about. The Seresins get shocking news.

word count: 2.2k

warnings: emergency rooms, medical inaccuracies, mentions of blood, childhood cancer, fighting, divorce, mentions of cheating

“What happened?” Jake asked, out of breath as he ran down the corridor. He had just fallen asleep when he got a frantic call from his ex wife. He could hardly make out the words she was saying to him, but he managed to understand that she was taking their daughter to the ER. It was like a hot knife in Jake’s chest as he sprinted out of bed and broke nearly all traffic laws to get to the hospital. 

Y/N’s was shaking like a leaf in the wind, as she took a step away from the large window where she had been watching doctors and nurses tend to her child, “I-I don’t know,” Her voice was thick with tears, her eyes and nose red. The only thing she wore was a nightgown and a jacket over it, “Ella, sh-she has had this cough and it hasn’t gone away and she started complaining about not being able to breathe and then. . .” Y/N sucked in a deep breath, trying to slow her heart rate down, “There was so much blood.” 

“Shh, shh,” Jake pulled her into his chest, cradling the back of her head. A loud sob racked through her body, and Jake held her tighter, “Let’s go sit down, okay? I’ll get you some tea and a snack.”

Y/N nodded her head, and let Jake guide her through the hospital to the waiting room. Her body felt heavy as she collapsed in the chair. The only image flashing through her mind was of her daughter standing in the doorway of her room with blood all over her shirt. Y/N closed her eyes, rubbing them with the heel of her hand. Ella had been complaining about her chest hurting and this persistent cough that would not go away. Y/N just thought it was her being sick with the common cold. 

“Here,” Jake said, holding a foam cup and a granola bar out to his ex-wife. Y/N gingerly took the items and Jake sat down in the chair next to her. The tension stretched over them as they both sat in silence, Y/N nibbling on the granola bar and Jake fiddling with his fingers. The last time they had sat this close to one another was when they were in couples therapy. Most of the time, if they had to sit near each other, they would put one of the kids in the middle. 

“I’m sorry I called you so early,” Y/N mumbled, breaking the silence. 

Jake looked at her, a small frown on his face, “I’d rather you did than wait until morning. I know you hate doctors.”

“Had to get over that this past year.” 

A year. It had been a whole year since Jake signed those papers, and Y/N had walked out of his life. It had been a year of utter misery for the both of them, but their pride got in the way of being able to admit that. It had been a year of awkward conversations while dropping the kids off at each other’s houses. A year of avoiding each other at Dagger family events. A year of tears and aching hearts when the other mentioned going out on a date. A year of suffering because of one mistake. 

“Well, Ella is my daughter,” Jake said, sitting up in his seat, “And I am going to be here for my daughter, no matter what time it is.” 

They both agreed in the divorce to keep things as civil as they possibly could for the sake of the children. Jake didn’t fight Y/N on custody, only asking that he gets them on the weekends. Y/N still allowed Jake to come over as often as he wanted to, and he was at the house most nights. Jake hated going home to that small on-base house that was nothing compared to the beautiful craftsman they had bought together after Eli was born. Y/N let Jake stay for dinner, and help with bath time, before getting the kids to bed. It was always awkward when he’d leave for the night; both of them wanting to ask the other if they would stay. 

“I know,” Y/N swallowed, “I just. . . I don’t know.” 

The silence stretched back over them. The lobby of the emergency room was surprisingly busy for an early Tuesday morning. Drunkards were waiting to get fluids to sober up. A couple who looked like they were about to have a baby sat in the corner, the man coaxing his wife through breathing exercises. A sad looking elderly man with a deep frown etched on his face. A mother holding her child to her chest, soothing his hiccups. Y/N longed to be able to be back with Ella, but the doctors had ushered her out of the room when Ella quit breathing. 

Y/N was lost in her thoughts when a voice called out to her, “Y/N.” 

“Miles,” She stood up from her chair, “W-what’s going on? Is Ella alright?” 

“You’re my daughter’s doctor?” Jake said, eyeing Miles up and down. 

Y/N shot a glare in Jake’s direction. Now was not the time to get in a pissing match. 

“I am,” Miles said, brushing off Jake’s comment, “I was working a round in the ER when she came in. I’m also lead pediatric surgeon.” 

Rolling his eyes, Jake muttered, “Of course you are.”

“Anyway,” Miles continued, “We ran some tests on Ella, a simple blood test and then an X-Ray,” He paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Y/N’s hand reached out for Jake’s on instinct, squeezing it, “Her blood test came back showing signs of abnormal cell growth, and there’s a small mass on the right lower lobe of her lung.” 

It was as if Miles had slugged Y/N in the chest. She sat down, afraid her knees were going to give out if she were still standing. The words Miles and Jake were sharing might as well have been a world away, as none of it was making sense to her. 

“How did this happen?” Y/N asked, her voice felt foreign to her as she looked up at the men, “How did I miss this?” 

“We don’t really know,” Miles said softly, “Sometimes, the body just creates abnormal cells. Lung cancer in kids looks totally different than lung cancer in adults. It’s not your fault.” 

Y/N nodded her head and looked down at her hands, “So what do we do?” 

“We’re gonna discharge her for today, and send you home with some medicine to help suppress the cough. Then we’re gonna get you set up with an oncology appointment, run some more tests and we’ll go from there.” 

“Can we see her?” Jake asked. 

“Of course,” Miles nodded his head, and told them Ella’s room number. 

Jake sat down next to Y/N, letting out a deep sigh. This was the last thing he thought was going to happen when Y/N called him at 2:30 in the morning. The only person Jake knew to have lung cancer was his grandfather, and it was a bitter end to his life. Hospitals, and oxygen masks, and not being able to do anything but lay in a bed and wait for death to come. It wasn’t what he imagined for his little girl. Not in this lifetime. 

“You never told me what happened between you and Miles?” Jake asked, looking over at Y/N. 

She let out a sigh, stretching her arms out and flexing her fingers, “Just didn’t work out.” 

Truth was, Y/N was so irrevocably in love with Jake, that being with Miles was only going to cause more harm than good. Miles had been the perfect guy; he was respectful, kind, he cared about Y/N’s kids and treated them with respect as well. He also loved her, flaws and all. And that was the issue. Miles loved Y/N more than Y/N could ever love him. It broke her heart to have to break up with him, but she couldn’t let him continue to think that something was going to happen. 

Jake hummed, “I thought you two were going to get-” 

“Can we not talk about my love life right now?” Y/N snapped, looking at her ex, “Now is not the time.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jake apologized, “She’s going to be okay, ya know?” Y/N’s eyes filled with unshed tears, “She’s strong and healthy, just like you.” 

Y/N nodded her head, “I know. It’s just not what I want for her. I hate this!” 

Jake wrapped his arm around Y/N’s shoulder and brought her into him. He hated seeing her cry and in the past year, he had seen her shed a lot of tears. Over the years, Y/N got better at stuffing her emotions down. It was hard raising kids with a husband who flew jets at supersonic speed into dangerous territories. She had to become both mentally and physically strong to withstand the months of Jake being gone and her left to raise the kids. Now, those emotions came crumbling down. 

“Let’s go back and see her, okay?” Jake asked, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s temple. She wordlessly nodded her head and Jake stood up, helping her to her feet. 

They rode the elevator in silence up to the pediatric floor where Ella was. When the doors opened they were met with bright colored green and blue walls with various animals painted on them. Children were just starting to wake up on the floor, as nurses and aids went into their rooms with colorful cups of medicine. Some parents had spent the night, sleeping on a cot next to their child’s bed, other parents were just arriving with cups of coffee and tired looks on their faces. Y/N was surprised at how warm the unit felt. That was the one thing she hated about hospitals. They always felt so cold and lonely. But the pediatric ward was filled with bright smiles, and laughter. 

Jake knocked on the door to Ella’s room, which had a painted unicorn on it, “Knock, knock,” He said, slowly opening the door. 

“Daddy!” Ella exclaimed. Jake rushed over to the bed, and hugged his little girl tightly. He wasn’t sure if it was because of her illness, but she felt smaller in his arms than she had ever felt, “I missed you.” 

“Missed you too Ella Bella,” Jake said softly, and placed a kiss on her temple, “How are you feeling?” He helped her lay back in bed, and covered her with a blanket. Y/N silently walked to the otherside of Ella’s bed as Jake sat down on the small mattress. 

“I’m tired,” Ella yawned, “Nurse Becky gave me strawberry jell-o and Auntie Val saw me when I had my pictures done!” 

“She did?” Y/N asked, trying her best to sound happy. She made a mental note to contact her best friend and tell her how thankful she was for her visit to Ella. If there was one thing about Val Machado, it was that she was going to care of her friends’ kids. Val even said once the Seresin kids were basically her kids and vice versa. 

“Yes! She gave me a unicorn sticker! Like the one on the door!” Ella held up the sticker that was on her hospital gown. 

“That’s beautiful baby,” Jake said, his green eyes full of love as he brushed his hand over her cheek. 

“Daddy,” Ella said softly, “Can I go home now?” 

“Yes Elles,” Jake nodded his head, “We’re gonna go home. You, me, and Mommy.” 

A weird feeling went through Y/N’s chest when Jake said they were all going home. She tried her best to ignore it, knowing that Jake was only saying words to comfort their daughter. When a nurse came in, Y/N and Jake excused themselves to go sign some paperwork and set up the next doctor’s appointment. They sat on opposite sides of a round table, Jake filling out insurance forms while Y/N sighed Ella’s discharge forms. 

“You shouldn’t have told her that you were coming home,” Y/N muttered. 

Jake furrowed his eyebrows, “Why? I am coming home with you guys.” 

“Jake,” Y/N sighed, setting the pen down. 

“No,” Jake answered, “I am not just gonna go back to base and pretend like everything is fine and dandy. Cause it’s not fine and dandy, Y/N. Our child is sick.”

“I know,” Y/N’s voice became thick with tears, “I know this, Jake.” 

“Then don’t push me away,” Jake sounded defeated, “Not now. Not when we need each other the most.” 

Y/N let out a shaky sigh, “I just don’t know if I can forgive you.” 

“You don’t have to,” Jake said, getting up from his chair and going over to kneel in front of his wife. He grabebd her hands in his, running his thumbs over the back of them, “You don’t have to forgive me now or ever. But you need someone to rely on and be there just as much as I need someone to rely on and be there. This isn’t going to be easy. . . but we are the only ones who will understand what we are going through. We need each other right now.” 

Y/N bit her lip and nodded her head, “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Jake asked, his eyes full of hope and longing. 

“Okay,” Y/N said again, sniffling, “Let’s go take our baby home.”

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[topguncortez]

I Still Love You - Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

opposites attract masterlist || main masterlist

synopsis: Y/N goes out on her first date in. . . in a while. She struggles with her feelings as if it is time to start moving on, or if she wants to fight for things with Jake.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of cheating

Y/N didn’t know what she was doing. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she went on date. Things had changed a lot since she was active in the dating pool. Dates were no longer big events where you shaved every crevice of your body, went out and bought a new dress, spent hours doing your hair and make-up, where picked up at your house and greeted with flowers and taken to some fancy restaurant across town. No, dating now was going to a local bar for a drink or two with some guy you had matched with on some dating app. 

Y/N felt her hands shake as she looked over her shoulder as the bell above the door rang. She was extremely early to her drink date, a whole half hour early to be exact. But the nerves had gotten the better of her, and she didn’t want to show up late. Now she sat looking completely out of place in this swanky bar on the east side of San Diego. It was far enough away that she knew it would be safe from anyone she knew catching glimpse of her. 

It wasn’t that she felt guilty about being on date. . . well, she felt a little bit guilty. Jake hadn’t signed the divorce papers yet, but they were making way with setting up visitation days. Y/N was currently living in the house while Jake was staying in an on-base house. Y/N hadn’t even thought of getting out into the dating field, wanting to wait until the divorce was completely over, but Val had set her up with one of her co-workers and Y/N didn’t have the heart to say no. Who knows, maybe she was going to meet her second husband. 

A small huff left her lips at even the thought of marrying another man. Having another man raise her kids. Having another man in her bed. Jake had been the one for her, and he’d always be the one for her, even if he broke her heart. She could entertain the notion of getting drinks with someone, but it wasn’t going to go much farther than this. 

“Y/N?” A masculine voice called out to her. She lifted her head, “I’m Miles, it’s nice to meet you.” 

Y/N gave him a tight lipped smile, reaching her hand out to greet him, “Nice to meet you, Miles.” 

He was clad in a black dress pants and baby blue button up. The top buttons were undone, showing the faintest gold chain around his thick neck. He sat down on the barstool next to you, his scent of oranges and hospital drifting to you, making your nose scrunch. You hated oranges and the thick smell of hospital disinfectant. 

“Sorry I’m late, got held up at the hospital,” Miles said. 

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows looking at her watch. It was 7:01 and they agreed to meet at the bar at 7:00, “A minute late is hardly late.” 

“In my book. . . it is,” He smiled, flagging down the waiter to order himself a drink and some appitizers, “I don’t like showing up on time, it feels like I’m late.” 

“I’m the same way. I like to be atleast 10 minutes early to everything,” Y/N sighed, “But having kids, I’m lucky if I’m even 5 minutes early.” 

“Val told me about your children,” Miles said, taking a sip of the old fashioned he had ordered, “Three of them right?” 

Y/N nodded her head, reaching for her phone. Her favorite thing about being a mom is getting to show off pictures of her kids. She showed Miles pictures of Alex when he first got his glasses, Ella winning her first soccer game, when Eli rolled over for the first time. Miles smiled along with her the whole time, asking questions about her kids; what they liked to do, what their favorite colors are, what their favorite bed time stories are. 

“They look like they are some fun people,” Miles said, sipping his drink. 

Y/N wasn’t sure what it was that snapped in her, but she suddenly felt embarrassed. Was she talking too muc about her kids? Did this guy even want kids? It wasn’t just her he would be getting if they ever decided to go past this one date, it was her and three kids. Three kids that had cried when their father moved his things out the door. Three kids that had been fighting and acting out more since the divorce process had started. Three kids that were waiting for her to come home. 

“Hey?” Miles asked softly, putting his hand on her knee, “Did I lose ya?” 

Y/N blinked a couple of times, plastering a fake smile on her face, “No,” She shook her head, “It’s just I-” 

“Thinking about your kids?” Y/N nodded and Miles set his glass down on the bar, “Val told me this is your first time out since your divorce. . . It’s my first time out since my wife died and I. . .” Miles shook his head, “I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong, meeting you here.” 

Y/N’s heart broke a bit in her chest, seeing his sad brown eyes look at her. Val had mentioned that he was previously married, but she never disclosed the details on what happened. She shifted on her barstool, placing her hand on top of Miles’ giving it a squeeze. 

“This doesn’t have to go very far tonight. . . If anything, I’m not ready to go very far tonight,” Y/N spoke honestly, “I’m still hurt and dealing with everything, but I could really use a friend?” 

Miles nodded his head, turning his hand in Y/N’s so their fingers were intertwined, he squeezed her hand back, “I can use a friend too.” 

The two of them stayed in the bar for only another hour, before going to find something to eat on the east side. Miles had picked out a local seafood place that he swore had the best fish tacos. The conversation flowed easily as they ate. They talked about everything under the sun; what he did for work at the hospital, Y/N’s plan to go back to work at the flower shop in a couple weeks, Miles’ most recent travel to Switzerland for a pediatric board conference, how Y/N finally got to visit the USS Midway museum. It truly did feel like Miles was the perfect friend for Y/N. He understood what it was like to lose someone you love, only difference was Jake wasn’t dead. 

“I should really get back,” Y/N sighed as they walked down the sidewalk to where she parked her car, “I gotta trade off with the kids’ dad, he works early in the morning.” 

“Don’t gotta explain anything to me,” Miles shrugged. He had been totally respectful when Y/N talked about everything with Jake. She didn’t go into full detail about it, mainly because the wounds were still so fresh. She still felt a pang in her heart when she walked through the front door and his boots weren’t there. 

“I think we should do this again, I really enjoyed getting to be with another adult,” Y/N smiled and Miles returned it. 

“I would love to,” Miles responded and opened Y/N’s car door, “Let me know when you get home, please.” Y/N nodded her head, “Good night, Y/N.” 

“Goodnight, Miles,” She whispered as she shut the door. 

The whole drive home it felt like Y/N was in a cloud. Her feelings were a bit conflicted on what she felt towards Miles. He was a good guy, with a nice smile. He had a sense of humor and had made her laugh several times throughout the night. Y/N could tell he had manners from the times he pulled out her chair and switched sides on the sidewalk so he was near the street. But all those little things were also things that Jake had done. Jake always sat so he was facing the door, or in the isle. Jake always opened the door and walked next to the street. Jake always knew how to make Y/N laugh. 

Y/N had just pulled into her driveway, Jake’s black truck parked in it’s normal spot when her phone dinged. 

‘Valeria Bates: how was it!? Did you kiss!? Did you do more than kiss!?’ 

Y/N’s face paled. Was she supposed to kiss him? They had agreed to just be friends, for now, but what was supposed to happen on the next date? Y/N hadn’t ever kissed another man besides Jake. And she sure as hell hadn’t slept with another man. Even though Miles was attractive, the thought of him touching her the way Jake had made her feel queasy. She didn’t respond to Val, tucking her phone in her purse and heading towards the front door. 

Quietly, she pushed the door open, coming face to face with Jake sitting alone on the couch, only the light of the television illuminating his face. When Y/N first asked Jake if he could watch the kids tonight, she hadn’t felt bad about it, but now, seeing him sitting there alone, she felt nothing but guilt. 

“How was it?” Jake asked. 

Y/N sighed as she took off her coat and hung it up, “It was good.” 

Jake nodded his head and stood up from the couch, “Will there be another one?” 

“Too soon to say,” Y/N mumbled and turned to face Jake, “How were the kids?” 

“They were fine. Eli was a bit fussy but he’s got some teeth coming in,” Jake stuffed his hands in his pockets and Y/N nodded. 

“Well, You should probably get-” 

“Don’t go on another date,” Jake said, cutting Y/N off, “Look, I know I fucked up. I know what I did is something that is unforgivable, and I beat myself up for it every day, but please. . . Please. . .” He walked towards her, and grabbed her hand in his, “Please.” 

Y/N wasn’t sure what to do, as he stood before her, his green eyes with a tint of red to them. 

“Goodnight, Jake,” Y/N muttered, squeezing his hand before moving towards the stairs to go check on the kids. 

“I love you,” Jake whispered as Y/N’s frame disappeared down the hallway.

taglist: @damrlova @phoenix1388 @mygyn @cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @angelbabyange @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @t0kyoreveng3rs @frazie99 @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @malindacath @justenoughmadness @sagittarius-flowerchild @hardballoonlove @harrysgothicbitch @hookslove1592

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Are You With Me? |

| A Jake x Shy!Wifey Series

synopsis: it's been a whole year since Jake reluctantly signed the divorce papers from Y/N. A year of pretending like there wasn't a huge hole in their hearts. A year of pretending like everything is okay. But when one of their children faces the biggest fight of their life, Jake and Y/N must relearn to rely and trust one another. Can they do it? Or will this officially be the end of Jake and Y/N Seresin.

warnings: angst, childhood cancer, chemo therapy, cheating, inaccurate medical terminology, smut, miscarriage, pregnancy, cursing, death (minor character), fighting, divorce.

opposites attract masterlist || Jake & shy!wifey masterlist

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

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Baby's First Christmas

Jake & Shy!Wifey Masterlist | Main Masterlist

synopsis: it's Jake and Y/N's first Christmas as parents, and Jake isn't feeling the Christmas spirit like Y/N is.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: bad grammar, fluff

“Why do I have to dress up?” Jake asked for probably the thousandth time since Y/N pulled out the red santa suit, beard and hat. 

“Because it’s Alex’s first Christmas and I want him to take a picture with Santa Clause,” Y/N said, curling her hair in the mirror. It was Christmas Eve and Y/N’s sister had invited the whole family to the house for dinner, drinks and gifts. It was Y/N and Jake's first Christmas as parents and she wanted it to be perfect. Alex was only seven months old so he wouldn’t be able to know if anything went wrong or not, but Y/N would know. 

“And your dad or Carson can’t but on the ridiculous-” 

“No! It has to be you!” Y/N sighed, putting down the hot iron, “Alex won’t sit on my dads or Kayce’s lap. You saw how he acted when we took her to see Santa at the coffee shop.” 

“Well he was a bit-” Jake shut up when you gave him a glare through the reflection of the mirror. He knew better than to start an argument with Y/N. Over the past year, her sass started to shine through, and Jake was proud to watch her become more confident with herself. Jake opened his mouth to say something just as Alex let out a cry, “We’ll discuss later.” 

Y/N smiled to herself as she finished getting ready for the Christmas party. When she walked out of the bathroom, to the living room of their small on-base house. It wasn’t anything special, but Y/N managed to decorate it to the nines. Jake wasn’t sure where she managed to find all this Christmas stuff, nor where she managed to store it. But it made her happy, and he’d do anything to make her happy. 

Y/N’s heart warmed in her chest seeing Jake holding Alex and looking at the ornaments on the tree. Alex was Jake’s twin through and through with big green eyes and light blonde hair. It had been an amazing journey to see how quickly Jake took on to the role of being a father. It kept him up at night thinking about the type of parent he would be. Would he be like his father? Cold and detached, demanding the best of his children at all times. Would his child grow up to hate him for being gone because of the Navy? Would he be around long enough to see his children grow old and have their own children? For those nine months while Y/N was carrying Alex, Jake read every single parenting book he could get his hands on. He asked some of his commanders and warrant officers for advice. None of it really made sense to him, but when he saw his son for the first time, it all became clear. 

“Momma is staring at us again,” Jake whispered to Jake and kissed his cheek. Alex placed both his slobbery hands on Jake’s cheeks, a big gummy smile on his face “You ready? It’s cold out, and I don’t want him to sweat in the car seat and then go outside. That’s how kids get sick.”

“I am ready,” Y/N nodded, “I just gotta get the baby bag, the gift for mom and dad, Carson and Jenny,  and the cookies for the kids.” 

“All of that is in the car and it’s running,” Jake said. 

“What would I do without you?” Y/N asked with a smile on her face. She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed his lips, “Can you put him in the car seat? I’ll grab the Santa suit.” 

Jake rolled his eyes as she skipped back down the hall towards the bedroom, “Your mom is crazy,” He whispered to Alex and the little boy turned to face his father, showing him a gummy smile. Rip smiled at his son, kissing his cheek again and then going to put him in the car seat. 

The Parker house was decorated from floor to ceiling for Christmas. It was obvious where Y/N got her love and passion for decorating, and it came from her mother. The moment they opened the front door of the house, the scent of fresh baked gingerbread cookies and ham filled the air. Jake had never really cared for big family celebrations but ever since he started coming around the Parker family, he started appreciating them more and more. His family celebrations were always so stiff and about who could brag the most about their latest promotion or accomplishment. The Parkers were all about warmth and happiness about being around one another. 

“You can put the Santa suit on after dinner,” Y/N said as they walked through the front door, “While we’re cleaning up and setting up gifts, it will be perfect.” 

“Yeah,” Jake said as he set down the carseat. 

“Aunt Y/N, you’re here!” Y/N’s nephew, Tate yelled running up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“Hey bud,” Y/N kissed the top of his head, “Have you grown again?” 

“Probably,” Carson said, and greeted you with a quick kiss on your head, “Wakes up five inches taller than the night before. Where's the little man?” 

“Jake’s got him,” Y/N said, nodding her head over to the living room where Jake was taking Alex out of her car seat, and Clara waiting for her chance at baby snuggles, “She acts like she didn’t just see him yesterday.” 

“You know how mom is with her grandkids,” Carson chuckled, “She might’ve gone a tad bit overboard with the Christmas gifts.” 

“There’s my favorite daughter!” James said as he walked into the entryway.” 

“I’m your only daughter,” Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, hugging her dad. 

“Foods ready to be served whenever,” James said, clapping his hands together, “Where’s my grandson?” 

Y/N was thankful to have her parents nearby and willing to help out with Alex. She knew that being in San Diego could change at a moment's notice, but she was going to soak up the time that she had here. Jake carefully watched as Clara handed his son off to James. Jake trusted the Parkers, but it was his inner father bear that had him watching every moment that Alex was in someone else's arms. 

Slowly everyone made their way to the dining room table, which was decorated and covered with delicious food. Y/N knew her mom probably spent hours making everything and smacking her dad’s hands away from grazing on all of it while helping her. Jake helped pull Y/N’s chair out, while she got Alex situated in the highchair. Jake appreciated that James and Clara let the kids sit at the table with the adults. He knew that his parents would throw a fit if any of their grandkids tried to sit at the head table. The kids were always pushed into the kitchen, where one of the nannies his sisters hired would watch them, making sure they didn’t get too loud. 

“So, Tate,” Carson said, taking a sip of his drink and looking up at Y/N with a glint in his eye. He knew of her plan to get Jake into the Santa costume and hopefully telling Tate outloud will help seal the deal, “I hear Santa is coming by.” 

“He’s not real,” Tate answered and Jake looked at his wife with a shit eating grin, “I’m not five anymore.” 

“See, he’s not five, and Alex is too-” 

“You are putting on the damn Santa outfit,” Y/N harshly whispered to him, “If I have to stuff you in it myself, you’re putting it on.” 

“I’d like to see you try,” Jake challenged and Y/N glared at him. Carson watched as the small stare down between his sister and Jake was broken up by Alex throwing a piece of bread on the floor. He could see that the whole Santa thing was somewhat bothering her, he knew her well enough to know how much Christmas means to her. Y/N had always been the one to hold onto those childhood dreams and fairytales a little bit longer than the average child. She still wished upon falling stars and believed in happy ever after. 

“Act surprised when he gets here,” Carson whispered to his son, “For Alex.” 

“Why?” Tate asked, “He’s just a baby.” 

“Because it means alot to Aunt Y/N,” Carson said and then cleared his throat, “She really likes Christmas and wants things to be special for Alex.”

When everyone's bellies were full, the family retired to the living room, where they started opening gifts from the large pile underneath the Christmas tree. Y/N sat on the floor with Alex in her lap, helping him tear into the packages that Tate was handing them. He was having more fun sticking the wrapping paper in his mouth than trying to open the gifts. Both Clara and Jenny had their phones out making sure to take pictures to capture the moments. The men all sat back with drinks in their hands, talking about cattle and giving the occasional “oh that’s cool” when it was needed. 

“Tate, why don’t you help Alex open the gifts from us,” Jenny said and moved down on the floor next to the kids, “Here, I’ll take him.” 

“Thank you,” Y/N smiled at her sister-in-law. Y/N moved towards the couch where Jake was sitting, “I noticed you don’t have the Santa costume on,” She whispered to him. 

“There’s no need to put the ridiculous suit on,” Jake said, sipping his whiskey, “She’s not going to remember it.” Y/N clenched her jaw as she looked at the ground, “She’s a baby. It can wait until-” 

“It can’t wait!” Y/N yelled and the eyes of her family members looked at her. Y/N sucked in a breath to compose herself and stood up from the floor, “I’m sorry. It’s just. . . its tradition.” 

“Y/N,” Jake called out to her, trying to grab her hand as she walked away. He sighed in defeat, running a hand over his face.” 

“She believed in Santa until she was about fourteen,” James said quietly, “Might’ve been partially our fault. I suckered Ice into dressing up as Santa and coming to the house.” 

Clara chuckled, “She probably knew he wasn’t real, but she’d always act surprised for the kids that were around. It’s just the type of person she is. She believes in things like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus and happily ever after. She has a fairytale soul.” 

“I never realized how much it meant,” Jake answered, “I just thought it was something silly that she wanted to do for the kids.” 

“Everything that girl does has meaning to it. She just doesn’t do things ‘just because’. You’ll learn that soon enough.” 

“C’mere, Alex,” James reached for his baby grandson, “How are you this Christmas? How about we open this gift?” He reached for a box that was wrapped in Hawaiian christmas paper. Alex tore open the box, with help of course, and James lifted the lid, “Oh look, Alex! A pair of your very own aviators!”  

Y/N was laying on her childhood bed, staring up at the ceiling where there was once glow in the dark stars that Carson helped her put up. James was livid and worried that they would pull the paint off the ceiling, but Carson assured him that it wouldn’t. The next person in this house who loved Christmas traditions besides you was Carson. The ten year age gap between the two of them, meant that Carson filled in the father figure role when James was gone on missions. There were some Christmases where James spent in the middle of the ocean. Carson would stay up to wrap Christmas presents with Clara, and would write in fancy handwriting ‘To who, from Santa’. He’d also eat the cookies, and leave “snowy” (which was actually flour) footprints by the fireplace as if good Ol’ Saint Nick had actually come down the chimney to leave gifts, even though they lived in southern California. 

Y/N thought that overtime, her Christmas spirit would fade, but if anything it got stronger. Maybe it was because she had seen the ugly side of life, and craved the bright cheeriness that came with Christmas. 

“Sweets?” Y/N heard Jake’s voice before she saw him. Y/N just sighed and listened to his footsteps walk over to you, “I’m sorry about the Santa stuff.” 

“My dad tell you I believed in Santa until I was thirteen.” 

“He said fourteen.” 

“He’s a fucking liar. My cousin Zach told me on my thirteenth birthday that I can’t believe Santa was real anymore,” Y/N said and sat up from her bed, grabbing one of the stuffed bears on the bed and holding it in her lap, “I should be apologizing to you.” 

“For what?” Jake asked, and sat next to her on the bed. 

“I know the holidays aren’t your thing,” Y/N said and grabbed his hand. Her nervous habit was playing with his hands, “And I shouldn’t have pushed you so much into doing it.” 

Jake smiled sadly at her, and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the back of it, “The holidays are my thing because they are your thing. They make you happy, and anything that makes you happy makes me happy. Besides, Alex seems to love it.” 

Y/N giggled and shook her head, moving closer to her husband. He wrapped his strong arms around her body, “You’re right, Alex won’t remember this. He’s spending more time shoving wrapping paper in his mouth than knowing what's going on.” 

“But we will remember,” Jake said and kissed her cheek, “We will remember Alex’s first Christmas and that’s what matters.” 

“Thank you,” Y/N said, looking up at him. 

“For what, sweets? I nearly ruined this shit.” 

“For giving me the best Christmas present ever,” Y/N smiled up at him. He caressed her face and then placed a kiss on her lips. Y/N hummed into the kiss, and ran her fingers through his blonde locks. He moved Y/N in his lap, so she was straddling him, and he laid back against the bed. His hands roamed her body, going down to her hips. Their tongues moved against one another, Y/N being able to taste the whiskey on his tongue. 

A knock on the door startled them as Y/N lifted her head up to see Jenny standing in the doorway, “Oh don’t stop on my account,” She had a smirk on her face and Y/N rolled her eyes, “But there’s someone here to see you.” 

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and climbed off of Jake and the bed. Y/N walked down towards the living room and stopped in her tracks seeing, 

“Santa?” 

“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!” Santa said, standing in the middle of the living room. Y/N looked at her sister-in-law and Jake. 

“Your dad made a call,” Jenny smiled. 

“Dad!,” Y/N looked at her father who just shrugged, holding out Alex. She grabbed her child and walked towards ‘Santa’ who was sitting on the couch. Jake looked a bit confused as Y/N gently placed Alex in Santa’s arm, Clara taking pictures of every single moment. 

Jake walked over to James, who was standing in the background, “Who did-” Jake asked, but heard Santa speak again, “Iceman?”

James shrugged again, “He lost poker last week.” 

Jake shook his head, and then walked towards his family. James  let out a breath in relief as he watched his family gather around to talk to “Santa”. Alex surprisingly didn’t cry when he was set on Santa’s lap, probably because he was too distracted by all the movement around him. 

“Get together you three,” Clara said, grabbing Y/N’s phone from her, “I’ll take a picture.” 

“Jake, sit on the other side of Santa’s lap,” Y/N said and he gave you a deadpanned look, “It’s for the memories, sweetheart.” 

“Only for you, honey,” Jake gave her a fake smile as he carefully sat on Iceman’s other knee. 

“Don’t break me Hangman,” Iceman whispered, “I can still make you run from here to North Island and back,” 

“You wouldn’t-” 

“It’s for the kid, don’t be a grinch! Smile!” Iceman said, looking towards Clara with the phone camera pointed at them. 

“Okay, smile!” Clara said, “1. . . 2. . . 3!” 

Y/N, Jake, and “Santa” smiled at the camera as Alex was still looking up amazed at Santa. Y/N took him from Santa’s lap and looked at the pictures her mother took. 

“They’re perfect!” Y/N cheered, “Thank you so much, Santa.” 

“No problem! Ho, ho, ho!” Santa said and James led him out the front door. 

Jake put his arm around Y/N shoulders, “You know what they say about Mistletoe.” 

She looked up above her head to see the green twig hanging above them. Y/N smiled and grabbed Jake’s face, bringing him down to her for a kiss, “Merry Christmas, Mr. Seresin.” 

“Merry Christmas to you, Mrs. Seresin.”

taglist: @damrlova @phoenix1388 @mygyn @cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @angelbabyange @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @poppyalice2001 @els-marvelvsp @nyx2021 @t0kyoreveng3rs @frazie99 @spencvrr @kmc1989 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @malindacath @justenoughmadnesss @sagittarius-flowerchild @hardballoonlove @harrysgothicbitch @hookslove1592

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Are You With Me | | Chapter 3

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake and Y/N fight over the hospital bill and whether its a good idea to keep the kids on Jake's insurance or night. Jake still has issues with Miles. Ella makes a decision in the course of her treatment.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, divorce, fighting, cursing, childhood cancer, mentions of childhood death

Jake had made a joke once that Eli was the cheapest baby they had. Said joke had earned him a glare that was fierce enough to send a shiver down his spine. Y/N had mastered the “mom eye” after having two kids.

But, even though Jake’s joke was done in poor timing, he was right. Having a baby, although not planned one bit, at home had saved them quite a bit of money. Jake had always found it comical that he was the best of the best. The 1% of the 1% and had some of the worst health care coverage in the whole United States.

“I feel like I need to take a loan out to pay these,” Jake rubbed his forehead, slipping his glasses off his face.

It was one of the rare moments that Jake and Y/N were both at the house. Y/N spent the day with Ella while Jake was at work and Alex was at school. Between Penny and Y/N’s mother Clara, they watched Eli for a couple of hours. Jake would then come to the hospital at night, staying with Ella while Y/N went home and made dinner and got the boys to bed. The Daggers had created a weekend schedule, each of them taking a saturday or sunday to stay with Ella so Jake and Y/N could both go home and recharge.

Though being at home was more stressful than watching their four year old getting pumped with toxins.

“Is that the bill?” Y/N asked as she walked into the kitchen after putting the boys down. She filled the tea kettle and set it on the burner, before pouring Jake a drink and taking it to him

“The first one, yeah,” Jake wiped a hand down his face, “Thanks,” He mumbled taking the rocks glass from her, “The ER visit cost thirty-three hundred dollars and insurance is only covering three hundred of it. The estimated total cost of care is around sixty-one thousand dollars.”

“Well,” Y/N swallowed, “I can always put Ella on my insurance. I get good-”

“No,” Jake sneered, “We agreed when we… we agreed when we divorced I would put the kids on my insurance plan because it’s cheaper.”

“Yes, but if this means compromising Ella’s care-“

“It’s not compromising anything!” Jake snapped causing Y/N to jump a bit in her seat. He scrubbed a hand down his face, “You got the kids and the house and everything else in the divorce. Let me help do this.”

Y/N nodded her head, “Fine,” She sighed, “We still have the rainy day fund.”

“Still not even going to make a dent in the payments,” Jake leaned back in his chair, “I’m tired of talking about this. How was Ella today?”

“Same as always,” Y/N shrugged, “Was fine in the morning before chemo, napped all afternoon and then threw up everything she ate. Her hair is becoming more of an issue for her… it’s becoming more noticeable.”

Ella’s hair had started to fall out as the weeks of chemo continued on. Jake and Y/N didn’t have the heart to shave it or cut it before Ella started therapy, wanting her to have the ability to make that decision for herself. But as the treatments went on, Ella’s confidence began to fade with each clump of hair that fell.

“Maybe we should just shave it,” Jake suggested as the tea kettle rang.

Y/N poured herself a mug, “No. She’s already losing so much autonomy over her own body. She should be the one who decides on her hair.”

“I hate to see her like that.”

“We all do,” Y/N took a sip of her tea, “But she was happy that Rooster and Dragon got to stay with her. Dragon mentioned something about watching Dateline.”

Jake chuckled, “Going to teach our four year old how to commit murder and get away with it.”

“She’s been stealing cookies and getting things she wants outta you since she was born.”

Jake couldn’t help it, he was a sucker for those big green eyes.

Silence fell over the two of them. It was moments like these where things almost felt normal between Jake and Y/N. Like the past two years had been a fever dream. That they had never spent a day apart. But then reality settled back in, and the awkwardness filled the air.

“I’m going to bed,” Y/N said, clearing her throat, “I put clean towels back in the guest room.”

“Thank you,” Jake nodded his head, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night, Jake.”

— — —

When Ella was born, she had a full head of dark curly hair. Y/N knew that she was going to have hair from all the heartburn she had experienced through the whole nine months. In fact, that was the first thing the doctor had called out in the middle of delivering the Seresin girl.

“oh gosh! she’s got a full head of hair!”

Y/N had always dreamed of having a little girl with gorgeous long hair, and she had been lucky to get just that. She couldn’t wait until Ella was old enough to sit up and her hair long enough that she could braid it and style it. Ella always had perfectly done hair when Y/N dropped her off for daycare. Ella liked to show off her matching bows or the intricate braid that her mother did to her classmates and teacher.

Miles had told them one of the most common side effects of chemotherapy was the loss of hair. Y/N thought maybe, just maybe, Ella wouldn’t lose her hair. They had gotten through the first week of treatment without any hair loss. But then week two rolled around, and it was the worst week of Ella Seresin’s life.

“Mommy! My hair!” Ella cried as she stood fresh out of the shower, with a clump of hair in her hands. Y/N did all she could to try and soothe her child as she pulled on the ends of her hair, more stands coming out.

“I know, baby,” Y/N fought back tears, “I know. It’ll be okay.”

For weeks, Y/N and Jake watched as Ella’s hair grew thinner and thinner. They switched from using a brush to using a wide tooth comb, hoping to save some of the frail strands of hair on her head. Ella knew that most kids on the floor didn’t have hair or wore fake hair. She knew that eventually, she would look like them.

“Do you want strawberry or cherry jello for lunch?” Y/N asked as she looked over the hospitals menu choices for today. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was because of stress but the hospital food wasn’t actually that bad. Plus, Val had kept Ella’s room stacked with snacks.

“Mommy,” Ella said.

“Yes, baby?” Y/N asked, putting the menu down and looking at her daughter, “What’s up, buttercup?”

“I want to cut my hair.”

“What?” Y/N was taken aback by her daughter’s words. Ella was wise beyond her years but this shocked Y/N to hear.

“I want to cut my hair. It keeps falling,” Ella said, touching her thinning hair.

Y/N nodded her head, “Of course, baby. We’ll do it tonight, when dad gets here. That sounds okay?” Ella nodded her head, a bright smile on her face, “Now, how about that jello.”

A couple of hours later, Jake was walking down the familiar bright colored walls of the children’s cancer ward. He always found it ironic that such a dark place was painted so brightly. Ella had only been there two months and already she had new neighbors on either side of her room. The cries of the parents haunted Jake at night and the images of little bodies being moved with sheets over their heads was enough to bring Jake to a panic. However, every time Jake walked closer to Ella’s door he was met with the beautiful sound of laughter. 

A smile graced Jake’s lips as he heard Ella’s laugh and that familiar snort that always made her laugh harder. But the moment he opened the door, his smile dropped. 

“Doctor Miles.” 

“Daddy!” Ella cheered and sat up in her bed, reaching out for her father. 

Jake walked over to her, greeting her with a hug and kissing her forehead, “How are you, bug?” 

“I’m good,” Ella nodded her head, laying back in her bed, “Doctor Miles is playing Bluey with me.” 

“I see that,” Jake looked over at Miles who was standing in the corner of the room now, “Where is Mommy?” 

“Sent her for a snack,” Miles answered, “She’s looking like the walking dead.” 

“Can we refrain from making death jokes?” Miles held back from rolling his eyes, “I’m here now, so you can go.” 

“I said I would wait here with Ella until-” 

“I’m her father and I say-” 

“You say nothing,” Y/N said, appearing in the doorway, “Thank you, Miles.” 

Miles nodded his head, “No problem, Y/N. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ella, good job today.” He held his hand out for the little girl to give him a high five. 

Y/N waited a moment until Miles was out of the room before looking at Jake, “Really?” 

Jake just shrugged, “I had it under control.” 

“I’m sure,” Y/N sighed, walking over to Ella’s bed. The little girl curled up next to her mother almost instantly, “Do you want to tell your daddy what you want to do today?” Ella nodded her head and then looked at Jake. 

“I want to cut my hair.” 

Jake’s eyes widened as he looked from Ella to Y/N, “You do?” Ella nodded her head again. 

“The nurses brought some clippers and stuff earlier. I-I’ve never cut anyone’s hair so I-”

“I got it,” Jake answered, “I was cuttin’ boys’ hair in the bay at boot camp.” 

 “Okay,” Y/N said, feeling the familiar burn of tears in her eyes, “You ready, Elles?” 

“Yes!” Ella said, a bright smile on her face. 

Both Y/N and Jake walked with Ella to the bathroom where a nurse had brung in clippers, scissors, a razor, shaving cream and a step stool. Ella stepped up on the stool, looking at herself in the mirror that was covered with pink and purple flowers. Y/N leaned against the doorway, watching as Jake got everything set up, occasionally making funny faces in the mirror to make Ella laugh. 

“Gonna start now, are you sure this is what you want?” Jake asked his daughter. Ella nodded her head, “Okay. Here we go.” Both Y/N and Jake took a deep breath as he grabbed a lock of Ella’s hair and lifted the scissors. The sound of the shears closing together made the loudest sound Y/N had ever heard as a lock of brown went tumbling down to the ground. 

“You cut it!” Ella gasped. Jake’s heart pounded in his chest, then it relaxed as her giggles filled the room, “Do it again!” 

Jake looked at his wife through the mirror, seeing her red eyes but the smallest smile on her face, “Let’s keep going.” 

After every snip of the scissors, Ella giggled which made the whole situation somewhat better. Eventually Jake got to the point where he had to use the clippers. He gently moved them over her head, watching as the final pieces of hair fell from her head. 

“What do you think?” Jake asked, as he set the razor down in the sink. It was quiet for a moment as Ella looked herself over in the mirror. 

“My head is cold,” She said. 

Y/N chuckled as she stepped into the bathroom, walking up behind her daughter, “We’ll get you a hat or two or-” 

“Three!” Ella held up three fingers. Ella turned to face her mom, “Momma, don’t cry.” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Y/N said, as Ella wiped a finger away from her cheek, “How about we take a shower and then watch a disney movie?” 

“Princess and The Frog! Daddy! Will you stay?” 

Y/N looked at Jake, who was cleaning up the hair around the bathroom, “Yeah. Of course. Let me finish cleaning this up, and I'll sneak down to the nurses lounge to make popcorn.” 

“Thank you,” Y/N said, sincerity in her voice, “Let’s get cleaned up, Elles.” 

A strange feeling settled over Jake’s chest as he watched his wife and daughter. A strange feeling that maybe, just maybe. . . things will be alright.

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Are You With Me? | | Chapter 2

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synopsis: Jake and Y/N sit down for an appointment about Ella's illness. Jake has his reservations about Miles being Ella's doctor.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, childhood cancer, mentions of cheating, physical violence, trauma flashback, fighting, cursing

“How could you do this to us!” The shattering sound of glass filled the air, making everything around them go silent, “You bastard! I loved you! Why did you do this!” 

She couldn’t see the little boy cowered behind the wall. His pajamas pants were soaked as he stood there watching the fight in the kitchen. He clutched his dinosaur blanket in his hands as he watched his mother fall to her knees in a heap of tears. His father just stood there, with his head hung low, guilt aching in his body. 

“Did our vows mean nothing to you?” 

“They mean everything to me,” He whispered out. She snapped her head up to look at him. 

“But you slept with that whore! All this time while I was raising our children you were fucking some other woman!” He looked away from her, not being able to stand seeing the pain in her eyes anymore, “Look at me, George!” 

He turned his head back towards her, “It meant nothing.” 

The woman let out a laugh as she stood up from her knees. She shook her head as her hand curled around another glass mug, “It meant nothing. . . Did this mean nothing!?” She threw the mug again at the wall. The little boy jumped, covering his ears from the sound, “I’m leaving.” 

“What?” George asked, his eyes growing frantic as she quickly moved through the kitchen, grabbing her purse and coat, “No. Jolene, let’s work this out.” 

“I can’t,” She shook her head, going towards the built in desk. She grabbed a stack of blank checks, stuffing them in her purse, “I can’t stand to look at you. I’m leaving.” 

“No, Jolene, lets-” 

“I am done!” Jolene yelled as she opened the door to the garage and slammed it shut. George closed his eyes and hung his head as the familiar sound of her car started up. 

The sound of crying broke George from his stupour. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at the wall where the source of the crying was. He slowly made his way over towards the crying, catching the little boy who stood there with wet pajama pants and his dinosaur blanket, tears running down his cheeks. 

He clenched his jaw, “What are you doing up, Jake?” 

The little boy lifted his head and looked at his father, “I-I need momma. I-I had an accident.”  

George shook his head, and brushed past the boy, “Go to bed.” 

— — — 

TWO YEARS AGO: 

Jake shouldn’t be here. 

In fact, he should be anywhere but here. He never wanted his life to come to this, to be the lowly man sitting at a dumpy bar late at night. But he had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t go to the Hard Deck, Penny would call his wife. And he couldn’t go home to his wife either. 

It had only been a couple of weeks since they lost their baby, and the weeks had been hell. Y/N tried to plaster on a smile and act like everything was fine, but Jake knew that wasn’t true. He knew that when the house went quiet after the kids were at school, she sat in the empty bedroom that would be the nursery and cried. Every time Jake tried to comfort her, she would push him away, not wanting to be touched or coddled. Her newest unhealthy habit was taking pregnancy tests, to see if maybe, just maybe, the doctor got things wrong. 

“Another one?” The bartender asked, looking at Jake’s empty scotch glass. 

“He’ll have another one. And i’ll take the same.” Jake snapped his head towards the sound of a female voice, “I saw you lookin lonely and thought you’d need some company.” 

Jake nodded his head, clenching his jaw as the bartender set two fresh glasses filled with amber liquid. Jake didn’t even look at the girl as he finished his drink in one go. 

“Whoa slow down there, tiger,” She giggled, “Nights just getting started.” 

“Night is over,” Jake grumbled, slamming his glass down. He went to stand up when the female placed her hand on his arm to stop him. 

“I-I shouldn’t have done that but I just don’t… Look,” She sighed, running a hand across her forehead, “I’m coming off of a failed engagement and my friends told me to just get back out there and I-“ 

“Thought I was the right subject to test the theory?” Jake raised an eyebrow and the woman nodded her head, biting her lip, “Well I’m not. I’m married.” 

She frowned, looking at his hand, “I don’t see a ring.” 

“Don’t need to wear one to be married to someone,” Jake pulled his wallet out of his pocket, setting down a couple twenties to cover his tab and leave a hefty tip, “Word of advice, sweetheart, you want to meet a guy? Don’t find him in a bar.” 

“I’m sorry,” She her voice cracked, making Jake stop in his tracks. 

‘I should go home. I should go home.’ Jake thought in his head, as he turned over his shoulder, looking at the girl with tears in her eyes. She was clearly out of her element as she sat in the dark dingy bar, and Jake wasn’t liking the look Earl was giving her. He huffed a sigh, as he turned back towards his barstool. 

“One drink,” Jake ordered. The girl seemed to perk up a bit, wiping her tears and nodding in agreement, “I’m Jake, by the way.” 

“Cassie,” The blonde said, holding out her hand for Jake to shake. 

The conversation flowed easily between Jake and Cassie, and before either one of them knew it, one drink had turned into several. Cassie opened up about her failed engagement to her high school sweetheart who had knocked up her best friend. Cassie talked about growing up in a small town in Oregon, and how she had waited her whole life to get out and explore the world. 

“What about you?” Cassie asked, “I told you about my engagement, my family, my college threesome adventure. . . so what about you? What about your wife?” 

It was like cold water had been poured down Jake’s back at the mention of his wife, “Nothing to tell. Look,” Jake stood up again, “I really need to go this time. I’ll walk you out and call you a cab.” 

Cassie shook her head, “No, it’s okay,” She gave Jake a small smile, “Thanks for listening to me.” 

Jake smiled back at her, “No problem. Good night, Cassie.” 

Jake drove home in silence, the events of the night weighing heavily on his mind. He knew that he shouldn’t have stayed out that long, that he should’ve been home to help Y/N with dinner and putting the kids to bed. But being at home felt like his own personal hell. He could hardly find a place in the house that was quiet with a four year old and a two year old running around. Y/N might’ve liked the noise and the chaos, but Jake was a creature of habit and structure. Not all the time had to be fun and play time. 

When Jake pulled up to the house, he found it unsurprisingly dark. He quickly grabbed his stuff out of his truck, and walked as quietly as he could up the stairs. Jake checked on both of his kids, before going to his shared bedroom. Y/N’s sleeping frame was laid out in the middle of the bed, her face pushed into Jake’s pillow. His heart tugged a bit seeing her in her most vulnerable form. It seemed to be only when Y/N was asleep she was most at peace. 

As if she could sense his presence, Y/N stirred in bed, her eyes fluttering open to adjust to the darkness, “Jake?” 

“Shh,” Jake quieted her as he walked over to the side of the bed, “Sorry to wake you.” 

“No, it’s okay,” Y/N mumbled, turning over to face him, “You’re home late?” 

“Drinks at the Hard Deck,” The lie rolled off his tongue almost too easily. 

“Oh,” Y/N nodded her head, “Are you gonna shower?” Jake nodded his head. Y/N pushed herself up on her elbows looking at her husband, “Can I join you?” 

Jake swallowed, shaking his head, “Not tonight. Go back to bed.” 

Y/N felt her eyes burn with rejection as she laid back down in bed. She couldn’t even remember the last time she and Jake had been intimate. Sex wasn’t a huge part of their relationship, but it was an important part. Jake had never turned her down as much as he had in the past couple of weeks. Y/N had never been the type to worry about Jake and his attractiveness towards her, but now she was starting to grow concerned. 

“I’ll be right back,” Jake placed his hand on her cheek before leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead. 

“Jake,” Y/N called out to him, grabbing his hand before he could walk away, “You still love me, right?” 

Jake scoffed, “Of course I do, sweets. Where did that come from?” 

Y/N shook her head, pushing the tears back from her eyes, “Nothing. I just. . .I just feel a bit-” 

“Well stop it,” Jake said, his eyebrows furrowed, “I love you, alright. You’re the one for me. You always have been, always will be,” Y/N nodded her head, as Jake pressed another kiss to her forehead, “I’m going to shower. Go back to sleep, I’ll be out soon.” 

— — — 

PRESENT: 

“There’s a flower in my lungs?” Ella’s eyes were wide as she stared at Miles. 

It had been two months to the day since Y/N had woken up to Ella coughing up blood. It had six weeks of tests, doctors appointments, needles, tears, and anxiety, all for them to get the result that they didn’t want. Ella sat in the middle of Jake and Y/N, while Miles sat behind his desk and Val protectively in the corner. Jake had his reservations about Miles being one of Ella’s doctors but Y/N and Val assured him that he was the best. There was no one better to oversee Ella’s care but him. 

“How did it get in there?” Ella asked, “What is a lung?” 

Miles softly chuckled, as Y/N shook her head. Ella had been in surprisingly good spirits despite the constant needle pokes and doctor’s visit. She remained her curious self, asking about how the MRI machines worked and what they needed a tube of her blood for. When the appointments were over, Ella went home and played with Alex and Eli until it was dinner. She hadn’t missed a beat, which was refreshing for Y/N and Jake. 

“Your lungs,” Miles said, standing up and walking around his desk. He kneeled in front of Ella, a smile on his face as he talked to her, “Are right here,” He gently poked her sides, making her giggle, “They help you breathe. Remember when you come to the doctor in the middle of the night? And you were having trouble getting air?” Ella nodded her head, a sad look growing on her face, “Well, it’s because this flower is in your lungs, and it’s not supposed to be there.” 

“It’s making me sick?” Ella looked over at her dad. 

Jake nodded his head, putting his arm around her chair, “Yeah, babygirl, it is making you sick. But Doctor Miles here is going to make you all better.” 

“Will it hurt?”  

Miles looked at Y/N and Jake before proceeding, “It won’t be fun. We have to give you some medicine, and do something called surgery to take the flower out.” 

Ella’s bottom lip wobbled as she looked back at Jake, “I don’t want it to hurt.” 

“I know baby,” Jake sighed, picking her up and setting her in his lap. She nuzzled her head into the crook of Jake’s neck, her tears hitting his skin, “It’ll be okay. It’ll only hurt for a little while, and then you’ll feel better.” 

“I don’t want it to hurt at all,” Ella sobbed, “Can’t you leave it in?” 

“No, Ella,” Y/N said, moving to sit next to Jake. She gently ran her hand up and down Ella’s back, “If we leave it in, you will get sicker. And nobody wants you to get sick.” 

Ella cried even harder, fully turning her face into Jake’s shoulder. Y/N closed her eyes, counting to ten in her head. While Ella was running around without a care in the world, Y/N had spent the last two months in tears. As soon as she and Jake put the kids down for bed, and Jake retreated to his new home; the loft above the garage, Y/N broke down in the solace of her bedroom. Her nose was rubbed raw from the constant use of tissues. Her eyes burned from crying. And her body felt weak from the exhaustion of being a mother and trying to wrap her head around Ella’s diagnosis. 

“I promise Ella,” Miles spoke softly, “I will make sure it doesn’t hurt. I will do all that I can.” 

Ella picked her head up from Jake’s chest, her little fist clenched his shirt in her hand, “You promise?” 

“I pinky promise,” Miles held out his pinky. Ella reached her hand out, and wrapped her small pinky around his. 

“Hey Bells,” Val said, pushing off of her corner spot, “How about we go look at the new babies?” 

Ella looked at her dad with wide eyes before she scurried down from his lap and to her aunt. It was moments like these that Y/N was grateful for Val. Her ability to read the room and know just what she needed at what time. Once Ella and Val were out of the room, Y/N couldn’t hold her tears back anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” She sniffled, “I just. . . I’m sorry.” 

“What’s there to be sorry about?” Miles asked, grabbing a box of tissues off his desk. 

Y/N grabbed several tissues and dabbed the tears off her cheeks. She was thankful that today of all days she decided on the waterproof mascara, “For this,” She gestured to herself, “For the tears. My daughter has cancer and I’m the one-” 

“You are allowed to cry,” Miles said, “This is scary and frightening. In fact, if you didn’t cry, I think I’d be concerned.” Y/N chuckled and shook her head, “There’s that smile.” 

Jake clenched his jaw, looking between Miles and his ex-wife. Y/N hadn’t shared all the details on why her and Miles didn’t work out, but it was clear to Jake that something still remained. He knew from Val that Miles was one of the best pediatric doctors on this side of the US, but that didn’t mean Jake trusted him. Jake didn’t trust him when Y/N was dating him, and he still didn’t trust him now that his daughter’s life was in his hands. 

“So,” Miles said, “We are going to get Ella started with her first rounds of chemotherapy. Because she’s a pediatric patient, it is our protocol that we keep them here during the chemo session.” 

“How long will that be?” Jake asked. 

“First session will be eight weeks. Twice a week. This cancer can be highly aggressive and the best way we can get ahead of it, is if we are highly aggressive. Now, I will be the lead doctor on Ella’s case, but we will also collaborate with the lead of Oncology, Doctor Thomas.” 

“He any good?” Y/N rolled her eyes at Jake’s question. Of course any doctor that worked at the UC San Diego had to be the best of the best. 

“She,” Miles corrected, “Is one of the best. I wouldn’t have her on Ella’s team if she wasn’t.” 

Y/N nodded, “Thank you, Miles. I’m gonna go see where Val took my child.” 

“No problem, Y/N. And if you need anything, seriously, don’t hesitate to call me.” Jake tried his hardest to not roll his eyes. The moment the door had shut, Jake straightened in his chair and stared down Miles, “Look, I know I’m not your favorite person.” 

“Not even by far.” 

Miles rolled his eyes, “I am here to make Ella feel better. You and I want to the same end goal, and I can’t do my job if you are constantly against me.” 

Jake scoffed, “Let’s make one thing clear,” He stood from his chair, “I am not your friend. I never have been and never will be. My wfie says you’re the best of the best, so I believe her. You better prove to me that you are the best of the best and make sure my little girl will live a long healthy life. We’ve already lost one baby and we sure as hell aren’t going to lose another one.” 

“I will do everything in my power to make sure Ella lives a long healthy life, Jake,” Miles said sincerely, “It is my promise to you.” 

“Good,” Jake nodded his head, “As long as you do your job and don’t let distractions dictate what you do. . . we won’t have a problem,” Jake flashed Miles his signature smirk, before turning around to face the door, “Have a good day.” 

“By the way,” Miles called out as Jake’s hand reached for the door knob, “She broke up with me because she’s still in love with you.” 

Jake felt his heart beat speed up in his chest as he opened the door and walked out without another word.

taglist: @yanna-banana @kmc1989 @soulmates8 @averyhotchner @fandom-life-12 @jazminlahey20 @jessicab1991 @reidshearts @princess76179 @dizzybee03 @dempy @kellyls04 @daddymack01 @beautifulandvoid @noonenuts @bradleybeachbabe @its-the-pilot @buckysteveloki-me @shibble @a-library-ofmy-own @fanfictionismyhobby @emilyoflanternhill @seitmai @moonlessnight14 @hardballoonlove @sgt-barnesveins @vhkdncu2ei8997 @1nterstellarcha0s @krispybearbouquet @a-serene-place-to-be @seresinslady @na-ta-sh-aa @milestomaverick @itsmytimetoodream @topgunslut @yuckosworld @angelbabyange @pedrohoe04 @midnightmagpiemama @lynnevanss @ummjustfics @thegoddessc @mrsevans90 @mjsvinyl @luversgirl @silenthappyplace @buckysvinyl

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[topguncortez]

Jake & Y/N Seresin

Main Story:

✧ Part 1

✧ Part 2

✧ Part 3

MINI SERIES

✧ Are You With Me? it's been a whole year since Jake reluctantly signed the divorce papers from Y/N. A year of pretending like there wasn't a huge hole in their hearts. A year of pretending like everything is okay. But when one of their children faces the biggest fight of their life, Jake and Y/N must relearn to rely and trust one another. Can they do it? Or will this officially be the end of Jake and Y/N Seresin.

ANGST

✧ Forth times a Charm The three times Jake asked Y/N out, and the one time he didn't. AKA, the story of how Jake met Y/N

✧ Alternate Attraction What would’ve happened if Jake never came home from the Uranium Mission? 

✧ You're Safe A break in at the house when Jake is working late. Only thing he cares about is that his family is safe

✧ Baby Blues Y/N has been struggling after the birth of her third baby, but Jake reminds her that its okay to not be okay

✧ All My Heart & All My Being Jake & Y/N are given devastating news on what was supposed to be a routine midwife visit. Jake navigates how to tell his kids about the circle of life.

✧ I Knew You Were Trouble things hadn't been great between the two of them for some time, but she never knew there was another woman involved

✧ Who’s the New Kid? Jake and Y/N start to look at when their relationship changed and drove them towards the arms of others

✧ I Still Love You Y/N goes out on her first date in. . . in a while. She struggles with her feelings as if it is time to start moving on, or if she wants to fight for things with Jake.

✧ Hold My Hand Y/N notices a change with her body, and Jake is there to give her the support she needs.

FLUFF

✧ First Kiss Jake doesn't kiss on the first date, but this time, he did

✧ Hold My Close based on this prompt: [close] sender reaches out and pulls receiver into their lap as they are walking by

✧ Moving In in which Jake asks Y/N to move in with him

✧ Monthly Visit Jake takes care of Y/N during her cycle

✧ Meet the Father Takes place before PART I, in which Jake meets Y/N’s dad for the first time. 

✧ You're My Yellow Y/N & Jake take on the task of painting the nursery

✧ Time to Grovel Jake knows he messed up. . . and he also knows how to get out of it.

✧ You're Gorgeous Jake has the biggest crush on his wife, even when she’s covered in paint 

✧ Adventures in Baby Sitting Uncle Rooster, Uncle Bob and Aunt Phoenix navigate a night with the Seresin kids. 

✧ Brosectomy Jake decides its time to get the snip, and who better to join him than his best friend and wingman Coyote

SMUT

✧ First Time Y/N is ready to give herself over to Jake for the first time

✧ Period Sex Y/N tells Jake it’s the best way to help with the pain, and he’s all for helping her. 

✧ Dog Fight Football Jake can't keep his hands to himself. . . again

✧ Turn On Jake can't help but be turned on at the sight of his pregnant wife

✧ Home Alone Jake and Y/N take advantage of having the house to themselves

✧ Bikinis & Tattoos Y/N has some new ink and Jake is all for it

✧ Nightly Interruptions Moments alone a few and far between

✧ Christmas Eve Jake wants to have some fun before bed

✧ Let's Talk About Sex headcannon about all things sex with Jake and Shy!Wifey

EXTRAS:

✧ Beach Day - Moodboard

✧ Opposites Attract - Moodboard

✧ Social Media pt 1

The Seresin Kids:

✧ Alex Seresin

✧ Ella Seresin

✧ Eli Seresin

✧ Japser & Maxwell Seresin

[topguncortez]

Are You With Me? | Chapter 4

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synopsis: Y/N wakes up from the same reoccurring nightmare since Ella had been diagnosed. Some parts of what Jake did during the divorce come to light. Jake and Y/N cross a line.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, nightmares, traumatic events, vomiting, divorce, fighting, cursing, childhood cancer, child character death (not graphic), smut, unprotected sex, mentions of cheating

“She’s not breathing,” A constant beeping sound filled the air as doctors and nurses came running into the small hospital room. Y/N was pushed out of the room, left to look at the action from behind a plate glass window. However, the doctors and nurses didn’t spring into action like she had seen them do when rushing into other childrens’ rooms. They stood there, watching as the child struggled to breath. 

“Do something to help her!” Y/N yelled, pounding her fists against the glass, but it was as if it fell on deaf ears. Doctors and nurses crowded the hospital bed as the small girl lay there unmoving. Tubes and wires covered her body as the obnoxious long tone filled the air.

“Do something! She’s dying!” Y/N yelled again trying to move her spot to get to the little girl, her feet were stuck where they were, “Help her!”

“Time of death,”

“No! My baby! No!”

“Nine thirty six.”

“No! Ella!”

Her body nearly collapsed to the floor, but strong arms wrapped around her, holding her up. She fought against the hard body, wanting to get to her daughter and hold her. The doctor pulled the white sheet over Ella’s head as Y/N continued to thrash in the strangers arms.

“Let me go! Let me go!”

“Y/N, you’re alright.”

“No! Let. Me. Go.”

“Y/N! Wake up!”

With a jolt, she sat up in bed. The cold grip of fear still around her heart, making it beat erratically. A thin layer of sweat covered her body, as her hair stuck to the back of her neck. It took a moment for her to get her bearings, finding herself in the same room she had laid down in, and her ex-husband sitting next to her on the bed. Jake had turned the lamp on, coating them in a warm orange glow. 

“Are you alright?” Jake asked, taking in the sight of his bewildered wife. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his chest, but he had earned an elbow to the face trying to attempt it earlier. 

Y/N nodded her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. Her throat felt dry, presumably from screaming in her sleep. She sucked in a couple of breaths, feeling her heart beat slow to a steady rhythm. She was no stranger to nightmares, especially after Ella got sick. The haunting sound of asystole alarms and the cries of grief stricken parents kept her awake at night. 

“What time is it?” She asked, her voice hoarse.

“Two twenty.”

“And the kids?”

“Still asleep, but, Y/N…” Jake swallowed, “Have you thought about going to that support group Doctor Thomas suggested?”

Y/N scoffed, flinging back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, “No,” She stood up, walking towards the bathroom to get a drink of water, “Don’t need it.”

Jake stood up from the bed, walking over to the bathroom door, leaning against it. Y/N splashed some cool water on her face, before filling up the cup she kept by the sink. Jake couldn’t help but take in the sight of her pajamas; a white tank top and a pair of his old plaid boxer shorts. He could remember when she stole them from him when she was about seven months pregnant with Alex, “It might help you sleep better if you talk to someone.”

“Oh, like you did?” Y/N knew it was a low blow the moment the words left her mouth.

The divorce had been finalized for two years and Y/N always used Jake’s affair as a deflection tactic. When she didn’t want to talk about herself or anything that was bothering her, she always brought up the affair. Jake had learned to ignore it over the past couple of years.

“Look,” Jake ran a hand through his sleep tousled hair, “I know I messed up and didn’t do things right in the past, but I am now. The group is really helping me get through this.”

Y/N looked up at Jake in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t the first time he has brought up therapy. Hell, even Miles had suggested it once before but it was quickly brought down. Y/N didn’t want to sit in a circle with other parents of sick kids and listen as they tried to one up each other with who’s kid is the sickest.

Y/N grabbed a quick drink of water, before turning to face Jake, “Thanks for the suggestion, but I got this.” She patted his chest before walking back into the bedroom.

Jake shook his head as she climbed back in, pulling the blankets up to her chin and turning the light off, engulfing him in darkness. 

“Whatever, Y/N,” Jake pushed off of the door jam, leaving the room without another word and going back to the guest room he had been inhabiting. 

— — — 

Sleep did not come easy to Y/N after the nightmare. Hell, sleep hadn’t been coming easy to her for about six weeks since Ella got sick. She had created a strict schedule of being at the hospital when first rounds started at six am. But between the early wake-ups, the late nights making dinner and getting the kids to bed, nightmares waking her up, and now Eli’s newly developed sleep regression, Y/N was a walking zombie. 

“I don’t wanna be sick,” Ella cried as Y/N held the pink basin in front of her. 

“I know, baby,” Y/N cooed, as tears ran down Ella’s cheeks. It was the same battle every day about an hour after Ella left the chemo room. The nausea slowly creeped up in her little body until she threw up. Y/N hated when Alex would have the occasional sick day, and it was killing her seeing Ella getting sick every day like clockwork. 

“Mommy,” Ella whined as she dry heaved over the basin. 

“Just let it out,” Y/N rubbed her back, “Let it out, baby. You’ll feel better.” She grimaced as the scent of vomit filled the air, Ella’s small body nearly convulsing as she puked, “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay, baby.” Y/N kept repeating sweet nothings to Ella as she emptied the very limited things in her small stomach. Her weight loss has become more evident by her protruding collarbones and ribs. Jake was almost scared to pick her up these days, worried that he’d break her. 

A knock sounded at the door, “Knock, knock,” The person said, “Is now a good time?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she sat the basin down in between Ella’s legs. It was never a good time for Doctor Thomas to barge into the room, but it wasn’t like she cared. What do you even say to a doctor when they ask ‘is now a good time?’ “No, come back later when I’m dying”? 

“Yes,” Y/N answered, but Doctor Thomas was already halfway into the room. Y/N grabbed a cool rag, putting it on Ella’s forehead and removing the emesis bucket, “How can we help you, Doctor Thomas?” 

“Just checking in,” She smiled that perfect smile that all doctors seemed to have. Pearly white, perfectly straight teeth. Doctor Thomas pulled up a chair, sitting at Ella’s bedside, “How are you, Ella?” 

The little girl pouted, “I threw up.” 

“Aw, I’m sorry,” She rubbed the back of Ella’s hand, “Today wasn’t a good treatment day?” 

“They didn’t even have sugar cookies,” Ella muttered. Y/N shook her head with a light laugh. Of course Ella was upset about the cookies. 

“You’re letting her have sweets?” Doctor Thomas asked, looking up at Y/N. 

“We’re monitoring her diet, but yes, we allow her to have something sweet to eat every once in a while. Miles said-” 

“Miles isn’t an oncologist,” Doctor Thomas said, tilting her head slightly and plastering that smile on her face. 

Doctor Nicole Thomas, oncologist, top of her class at Northwestern, top resident at the Mayo Clinic, one of the best oncologists on this side of the Missouri river, and total bitch to parents. April, the mother of Sammy, the little boy next door to Ella, shared her dislike for Doctor Thomas. She was blonde, had legs for days and breasts that seemed to be the perfect size and perky. The wives had all noticed their husbands wandering eyes when Doctor Thomas walked by. And to make matters even worse, Doctor Thomas knew Jake. . . personally. 

“If you have an issue with my daughter’s diet, please, Doctor Thomas, enlighten me,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. 

Doctor Thomas’s smile didn’t falter, “Things like cookies and sugary treats aren’t good for children with compromised immune systems. Over processed pre-packaged snacks or snacks full of butter and frosting. . . you want your child eating heart healthy snacks. I think Jake would agree.” 

The slip of her husband’s name from Doctor Thomas’s lips had Y/N seeing red, her arms falling down to her sides, “I know what is best for my child. You are pumping her full of toxins that are making her throw up and lose weight. If she wants a sugar cookie, I’m going to let her have a sugar cookie. At least she’s eating something. . .” She rolled her shoulders back as she mumbled, “And keep my husband’s name out of your mouth.” 

“Noted,” Doctor Thomas said, standing up from the chair. She looked down at Ella, “I hope you feel better, Ella. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Bye Doctor Thomas,” Ella waved to the blonde woman. 

Before she left the room, Doctor Thomas turned around, the condescending smile still on her face, “Have you looked into that support group? I think it would really, really do you some good, Y/N.” 

Y/N scoffed, marching towards the door to rip into Doctor Thomas, but she was gone by the time Y/N stepped out into the hallway, her chest heaving. Her eyes narrowed as another familiar blonde made his way down the hall, smiling and waving to the kids and their parents as they passed. Fire burned in Y/N’s veins as she stalked down the hall, determination written on her face. 

“Hey!” She yelled as she set in on Jake, “Tell your little side piece to keep her nose out of the way I raise my child.” 

“Side piece?” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Doctor Thomas,” Y/N sneered, “Trying to tell me what's right for my child.” 

“Our child,” Jake corrected her, “And she’s probably right. She is a doctor after all.” 

Y/N scoffed, “Of course you would side with her.” 

“Unbelievable,” Jake shook his head. He looked around, noticing the eyes of the nurses, doctors, parents and techs on them as they squabled in the hallway. He grabbed Y/N’s arm, pulling her into an alcove by the nurses’ station, “You need to get yourself together. You’re causing a scene.” 

“Me? Get myself together?” Y/N’s eyebrows rose in shock, “You’re the one screwing our child’s doctor!” 

“I didn’t screw her!” Jake snapped. 

“No,” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head, “You’re just spending late nights having secret conversations and confiding in her behind my back.” 

“Do you blame me? It’s like talking to a brick wall with you,” The hurt settled into Y/N’s chest. She wrapped her arms around her chest, as if she could protect herself against Jake’s words. He sighed, placing his hands on his hips, “Y/N. . . you need to talk to someone. You aren’t sleeping. You’re lashing out at people. Your mother called me in tears the other day because you yelled at her. This isn’t you.” 

“You don’t know what's me,” Y/N whispered, taking a step back from Ella, “I need to be with my daughter.” 

“Our daughter,” Jake corrected her again. Y/N just shook her head, walking out of the alcove and back to Ella’s room. 

— — — 

Three days had passed since Jake and Y/N’s fight in the hallway. They had been walking on eggshells around one another. Y/N had started keeping some clothes and showering in Ella’s hospital room to avoid going home when Jake was there. Jake started placing a plate of food in the microwave for when Y/N would come home from the hospital before he went to be with Ella for the night. It had all seemed to work just fine, until it came crashing down. 

Y/N was running late to switch Jake off from his night shift with Ella so he could get to work. Eli had pitched a fit about wanting to put pants on for daycare, and Alex was taking his time with packing his backpack for school. She had barely managed to get out the door on time to get the boys to school before zooming to the hospital to drop off Eli and relieve Jake. 

Jake was pacing the lobby, waiting for his ex-wife to show up. It wasn’t like her to be late without texting or calling first. The worst came to his mind as he tried to keep his heart from pounding in his chest. 

“Fuck it,” He cursed, pulling his phone out ready to call her, when the elevator dinged. 

“I’m sorry!” Y/N breathed out, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve called by Eli dumped his breakfast on his pants and Alex forget his glasses and we were running-” 

“It’s fine,” Jake huffed, “Mav has us doing classroom work. Nothing Dragon and Rooster can’t handle.” 

Y/N shook her head, “I’m just. . . I’m so sorry.” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched his normally strong partner crumble because she was fifteen minutes late. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at Jake, “I promise next time I’ll-” 

“Code Blue Room 310. Code Blue.” 

The speaker above them sounded out interrupting them. 

“That’s the room next to Ella’s,” Jake said, his heart coming to a complete stop in his chest. 

“April,” Y/N breathed out. 

Both of them turned on their feet, rushing down the hall as a mass of doctors and nurses went rushing into the room next to Ella’s. Y/N could see through the large bay window into the room as Miles started doing compressions on the little boy's chest, his parents standing in the corner with tears streaming down their faces. 

It was like Y/N was stuck in that nightmare again. The images of her standing outside the hospital room, looking through the window while the doctors just stood around her child. Y/N turned her head as Sammy’s chest convulsed off the bed as they shocked his heart. Jake wrapped his arm around her, his hand cradling the back of her head as she held onto his flight suit. It was like a car crash on the side of the road, Jake couldn’t look away as they shocked Sammy’s heart again. The scene went on for only a few more minutes until the loud beep of asystole sounded out from the room, as the wails of parents filled the air.

“No! My Baby!” 

“Time of death. . . nine thirty six.” 

“Sammy! No! No!” 

A sob left Y/N’s mouth, and Jake held her tighter.. The door to the room opened up, Miles being the first one to walk out, a discouraged look on his face. Y/N lifted her head meeting his sad brown eyes. It was the same look that he had given Y/N many months ago. The look of heartbreak and sorrow. 

“I’m sorry,” Miles said, shaking his head and stalking off. 

Y/N looked over her shoulder, seeing Jake’s stoic and shocked face, “W-what do we do?”

Jake looked down at her, and then back towards the room where the two parents cried over their dead son, “I don’t know. But we need to tell Ella. . . they are-were friends.” Y/N nodded her head. 

Ella was wide awake in her bed when Y/N and Jake walked into the room. She smiled at them both, but it quickly faded seeing the frowns on her parents' faces. Y/N sat on the edge of Ella’s bed, and Jake stood behind her. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. They didn’t exactly cover the topic of telling your four year old child that they’re friend just died of the same cancer they have in the parenting books. Jake sensed Y/N’s turmoil, taking a step forward and grabbing her hand. He squeezed it twice, and Y/N looked up at him. She gave him a tight lipped smile before squeezing his hand back twice. 

“Ella,” Y/N started, “We need to tell you something. . .” 

— — — 

Y/N had never been so thankful to have her parents living in the same city. Clara and James were at the hospital within minutes of Y/N asking if they could stay with Ella. It had been a rough day with Ella, between trying to explain what happened to Sammy, to holding her while she threw up. It had been a day of tears and tantrums from the little girl, she didn’t want to be stuck with needles or be pumped full of medicine and neither one of her parents could blame her. Ella had fallen asleep on Jake’s chest before Clara and James arrived. 

Y/N and Jake had moved in near silence as they made dinner, bathed the boys, and put them both to bed. The mental and physical toll of the day was starting to hit them like trains. Jake was amazed by how strong Y/N had been, being able to keep a smile on her face and care for Ella. He just wanted to go home and drink the day away. 

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Jake said as they walked up the stairs. Y/N’s legs felt like bricks when she reached the top, “I called Mav and told him what happened. I got tomorrow off,” Y/N didn’t say anything as she stared at her bedroom door, “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

It was silent for a moment as Y/N listened to the creak of the floorboards as Jake walked to his room. 

“Jake,” Y/N called out, her voice barely above a whisper. He stopped in his tracks, not daring to look down the hall at her, “Stay with me,” She looked at him, “Please.” Unshed tears shone in her eyes. 

Jake swallowed thickly, “Y/N,” He scratched the back of his neck, “I don’t think that's a good-” 

Y/N shook her head, walking over to him, “Please,” She stood in front of him. She wanted to reach out and grab his hand, but refrained, “Please. . . stay with me. . . I don’t want to be alone after today.” 

Jake looked into her eyes, seeing the longing and the fear that hid behind unshed tears. Silently, Jake agreed, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers and lead her down the hall. He gently pushed open her bedroom door. It was just the same as it was two years ago. It was as if she was still living in a time capsule where Jake had never betrayed her. Where they were still married. Where they were still one. 

Jake walked Y/N over to her side of the bed, having her take a seat on the mattress. She watched as he moved around the room with muscle memory, opening drawers to her dresser, pulling out her normal pajamas; an oversized shirt and boxer shorts. He set them on the bed next to her, standing in front of her. 

“Can you-” 

“Help me?” They spoke at the same time. 

Every fiber in Jake’s being was telling him no. Every fiber was telling him to leave the room, to tell her that she would be fine on her own and he’d be right down the hall if she needed him. But his heart was telling him that he couldn’t leave her. Not like this. Not when she had witnessed every sick parents’ worst nightmare. Jake functioned wordlessly, as he reached for Y/N’s hands, standing her up. His hands went to the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. He refrained from looking at her chest, which he felt like he deserved an award for. He folded the shirt nicely placing it on the bed behind her. 

“You should probably do the um. . . pants,” Jake gestured to her lower half. 

“Jake,” She chuckled, “We were married and had three kids. You can’t take my pants off?” 

“Yes I-. . . Well you know that I can but this is. . . This is different,” Jake said. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” 

“Y/N,” Jake challenged. 

“Jake,” Y/N shot back, “Look at me.” 

Jake huffed, turning his head to look at her. It was the first time in nearly three years that he had seen her like this. His body felt like it had been lit on fire. Three years, and Y/N hadn’t aged a day. Her body was still perfect; beautiful skin, perky breasts, curves that brought grown men to their knees. Jake’s hands itched to touch her, to remember the feel of her skin beneath his palms. He felt his groin tighten at the memories of her being under him. 

“Jake,” Y/N sighed, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him as she took a step closer.. 

“Y/N,” He warned. 

“Please,” She begged, her eyes wide with lust, “I need you.” 

“Y/N.” 

“One night,” Y/N begged, “One night to make me forget, please.” 

Jake groaned, grabbing her face and crashing his lips to hers. The familiar taste of her chapstick, something that hadn’t changed over the past three years. Her hands went to his hair, pulling on his blonde locks as his hands roamed her body, walking her backwards until they both landed on the bed. Y/N moaned as Jake’s lips landed on her neck, sucking and biting gently. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t dreamed of having his lips on her skin again. 

“Did he touch you?” Jake asked, his hot breath fanning her neck. 

Y/N shook her head. 

“I need to hear it, Y/N,” Jake said, looking at her, “Did he touch you?” 

“No,” Her answer was solid, “Not like this. Not ever, like this.” 

“Good,” Jake sat back on his haunches, grabbing the neck of his shirt and pulling it over his head, “Cause I don’t share.” 

Y/N’s eyes shamelessly ran down his naked torso. It was obvious that Jake took care of his body. She remembered all those mornings of waking up to him playing music in the garage turned home gym. But seeing his sculpted body up close again, sent her into a frenzy as she reached out for him, pulling him back down against her. The two of them kissed passionately, hands roaming each other’s bodies, trying to pull one another as physically close as possible. Clothes ended up scattered around the room until they were bare in front of one another. 

“Are you sure?” Jake asked, placing himself in between Y/N’s legs. His cock was hard and leaking, aching for some sort of relief. Y/N’s eyes wandered down his body, a shiver running through her body. 

“Please,” She reached down and grabbed his cock, guiding it in between her legs, “Please, fuck me, Jake.” 

Jake nodded his head, replacing Y/N’s hand with his own. He ran it over her folds, before gently pushing the head into her opening. A hiss left Y/N’s lips at the unfamiliar feeling of being stretched. Jake knelt down on his elbows, caging her head in between his arms. 

“Look at me,” Jake whispered. Y/N’s eyes fluttered up to his green ones, “Breathe, I got you. I won’t hurt you.” Y/N nodded her head as Jake grabbed her thigh, guiding it over his hip, pushing into her a bit more. They both let out a gasp as Jake bottomed out, his hips flush against hers. He waited a moment, letting them both get used to the feel of one another. 

“Jake,” Y/N placed both hands on his cheeks, “Move. Please.” 

Jake complied moving his hips back ever so slightly and then pushing back into her. The painful stretch of Jake’s cock in her pussy slowly faded away until pleasure filled her body. Jake’s grunts filled the air, as he sped his hips up, and hit all the right places. Y/N dug her nails into his back, surely leaving angry red marks down the skin. 

Neither one could remember the last time they had sex like this. Raw, emotional, full of passion. The two of them pawed and pulled each other as close as possible. Their lips swallow one another’s moans and cries of pleasure. Jake brought Y/N to the brink of orgasm twice, before cumming inside of her. He collapsed on her chest, their heartbeats erratic but still beating in time. 

The two of them had cleaned each other up in near silence, both scared of even talking about what had transpired between them. Y/N laid on her side of the bed, far away from the door, wrapped in Jake��s arms, her head on his chest. She gently traced over the tattoo on his pec, the gentle cursive of her name. She had noticed the other day that he still had her initials tattooed on his ring finger. 

“I’ll do it,” Y/N mumbled. 

Jake furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at his wife, “Do what?” 

Tears filled her eyes, as she looked at him, “I’ll go to the support group.” 

Jake gave her a sad smile as he bent his head down, placing a feather soft kiss on her lips, “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

“Goodnight, Jake.”

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All My Heart & All My Being | Jake x Shy!Wifey

opposites attract masterlist | main masterlist

synopsis: Jake & Y/N are given devastating news on what was supposed to be a routine midwife visit. Jake navigates how to tell his kids about the circle of life.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: miscarriage, tears, fear of doctors, cursing, talks of death, canon character death, mentions of depression, mentions of stillbirths

note: miscarriages happen in 1 out of 4 pregnancies. Most miscarriages are spontaneous, meaning that you did nothing to cause it. miscarriages are never your fault, and it doesn't make you any less of a parent. Angel baby parents are still parents.

Jake couldn’t hide his excitement. It was Y/N’s second ultrasound since she had discovered she was pregnant. It was the appointment where they were finally going to hear their baby’s heartbeat. Even though they had been here twice before, the same butterflies and nervous feelings still arose in their bellies. Jake was trying his best to not crush Y/N’s hand with his strong grip as they waited for the doctor to come in. 

Jake was halfway out of the chair he was sitting in, at eye level with Y/N’s bare belly. His eyes were wide as he was retelling the story of his last dogfight with Rooster and Coyote. Y/N couldn’t help the smile on her face as she ran her hand through his soft blonde hair. 

“And then, I broke right, turning right into the sun with Rooster still hot on my tail, but the ol’ man still hasn’t learned any new tricks,” Jake laughed, “He lost me in the sun, and I was able to turn quickly and get behind him to get missile lock on him.” 

“Going to turn this one into an aviator before they’re even born,” Y/N giggled. Jake looked up at her with pure admiration and love in his green eyes. 

“They’ve got a handful of uncles and aunts who will turn them into an aviator if I don’t,” Jake said as there was a soft knock on the door. Y/N sat up on her elbows and told whoever it was to come in, but Jake’s eyebrows furrowed at the young nurse who walked through the door, “Where’s Doctor Carpenter?” 

The nurse smiled at him as she walked to the ultrasound machine, “She’s with another mother right now, but she’ll be here soon.” Y/N nodded and laid back down on the exam table, “My name is Margaret, and I’ll be doing the initial look, taking a few pictures and then Doctor Carpenter will be in.” 

“Okay,” Y/N nodded, feeling the grip of nerves in her throat. Jake could feel the anxiety rolling off his wife in waves and squeezed his wife’s hand. Y/N looked over at him, as Jake raised their conjoined hands to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of her hand. 

“How have you been feeling, Mrs. Seresin?” Margaret asked. 

“Oh please, call me Y/N,” Y/N said softly, “I’ve been feeling more tired than usual with this one. It’s our third baby,” Jake gave her hand a squeeze, “But lately, my back has been hurting, I’ve had these weird dizzy spells, just overall felt like crap.” 

Margaret nodded as she put some of the cool gel on Y/N’s belly. Y/N let out a shaky breath as Margaret pressed the transducer to Y/N’s lower belly. She always hated this part of the exam, feeling like her bladder was going to explode from the pressure. 

Jake sucked in a breath as he watched Y/N stare up at the ceiling. She was uncomfortable and Jake hated that. “Did you hear about Dragon’s wedding present for Rooster?” Y/N looked at her husband and shook her head, “Well apparently, it was a fancy little picture book. Rooster was actually speechless, and you know that man is nev-” 

“How far along are you?” Margaret asked, interrupting Jake. He looked up at her, noticing the pinched look on her face. 

“12 weeks,” Y/N nodded, “But isn’t that on my chart?” 

Margaret nodded and plastered a fake smile on her face, “Y-yeah, yes, it’s just that-” 

Jake’s shoulders squared as he stood up from his seat, “That what? What’s wrong?” 

Margaret set the transducer down and turned to face both of them, “I’m not seeing anything on the ultrasound.” 

“What?” Y/N looked from the nurse to Jake and back at the nurse. She felt her heart start to race as she pushed herself up on her elbows, “There’s. . .there’s no baby? I lost the-” 

“I don’t know,” Margaret said, “I-I’m not really authorized to read-” 

“How about you go find someone who is?” Jake said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest. Margaret nodded rapidly and scurried out of the room with her head down. Jake scoffed and ran his hand through his hair, his jaw clenched shut, “What a fucking joke. Can you-” He looked down at his wife to find tears running down her cheeks, “Hey, sweets, what’s wrong?” 

“There’s no baby,” Y/N cried, and Jake wrapped her in his strong embrace. 

“We don’t know that,” Jake said, his voice strong and steady, “The nurse even said she’s not authorized to read it.” He pulled Y/N away from his chest and held her face in his hands. She looked up into his green eyes, “You hear me? We can’t jump to conclusions yet.” Y/N closed her eyes and nodded her head, not really believing a word Jake said. And to be honest, he wasn’t even sure if he believed what he said either. 

Jake gently shifted Y/N’s body so he could sit on the edge of the small exam table and hold his wife. They waited in painful silence for the doctor to come in. The only sound was the occasional sniffle from Y/N, which was followed by Jake pressing his lips to the top of her head. A small knock pulled them out of their quiet embrace as their usual doctor walked into the room. Jake felt some relief in his body, but the look on the doctor’s face didn’t help ease much of it. 

“I’m sorry for the wait,” Doctor Carpenter said, giving them both a sad smile, “Let’s see what’s going on.” She quickly went to the ultrasound machine. Jake moved off the exam table and stood by her side, holding her hand in both of his. 

Doctor Carpenter did the same thing as the nurse had done previously, putting the cold gel on Y/N’s belly and spreading it around her lower abdomen. Y/N looked up at the ceiling as Jake’s eyes were on the black-and-white screen in front of him. Doctor Carpenter worked in silence as she moved the transducer around, freezing on a spot, and taking a picture, before moving to another spot. The silence stretched for about ten minutes before Doctor Carpenter sighed, and placed the transducer down.  

Y/N closed her eyes as she felt Doctor Carpenter’s eyes on her. She couldn’t hear the words that came out of the doctor’s mouth but felt Jake squeeze her hand. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N and Jake, but there isn’t a viable fetus present,” Doctor Carpenter said, “I’m afraid Y/N has had what we call a spontaneous miscarriage. It doesn’t present like a normal. . .” 

It was all a blur after that. 

She could hear the door to the exam room shut. She could feel Jake move to lean over her and run a hand through her hair. She could faintly make out the sound of his voice as he spoke to her. She could feel him hold her in his arms, rubbing her back and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She could hear him sniffle and wipe away the tears from under his eyes. 

The car ride home was quiet, as Y/N leaned her head against the window, looking at the familiar landscape pass her by. Jake would occasionally glance over at her, noticing the hand that sat protectively on her belly. He shifted in his seat and looked at his wife again. 

Jake cleared his throat, “Are you in pain?” 

“Not physically,” Y/N answered, “It’s just. . . when you think about a miscarriage or losing a baby, you imagine blood and pain, not. . .” Y/N fought back tears, her mind trying to come up with the right words to say. Jake reached his hand across the center console and grabbed hers. Neither of them said another word as they drove the rest of the way home. 

When they arrived home, Jake noticed Amelia Benjamin’s bike by the front door. She usually babysat the kids after school while Jake & Y/N were at work. It was supposed to be a happy night, while Jake and Y/N shared pictures of their unborn child, and listen as Alex and Ella argued about whether it was going to be a boy or a girl. Now, all Y/N felt was dread of having to face her children and her parents. 

“Why don’t you go into the house from the garage and up the back steps,” Jake said, looking at his wife, “And I’ll go corral the kids to the backyard.” Y/N nodded her head in agreement, “I’ll be up soon and draw you a bath-” 

“I just want to lay in bed,” Y/N said, looking at Jake, “I’m okay. . . or I will be anyway.” 

Jake gave her a smile. Y/N was one of the toughest women he knew. She had to be tough when being married to an aviator. Nothing in Jake’s life was ever promised and Y/N had known that first hand. She had watched as partners of fellow aviators had been given folded flags instead of getting to hug their loved ones again. She always feared losing Jake, never one of her own babies. 

“I’m going to go in now,” Y/N said and Jake nodded. 

“Y/N,” Jake called her name as he stepped out of the truck. She looked up at him, “I love you, with all my heart and all my being.” 

Y/N smiled, “I love you too, with all my heart and all my being.” 

Jake took a moment, trying to gather his thoughts as he watched Y/N walk into the house. He turned the truck off and gathered his duffle bag from the back seat, before making his way to the backyard where he could hear the loud laughter of his kids. 

The second that Jake opened the gate to the backyard, Alex and Ella ran right to him. He greeted them with his usual bright smile and kiss on the cheek. He thanked Amelia for watching them and paid her. Then he stood on the front porch with Alex and Ella as Amelia rode her bike the two blocks it took to get to her house. 

“C’mon, let’s go get a snack,” Jake said, leading his kids inside the house. Alex climbed up on the stool at the kitchen island, while Jake sat Ella down on hers. He cut them up an apple, splitting it between the two of them, and giving them each a big dollop of peanut butter to go with. 

“Where’s Mommy?” Alex asked, looking around the kitchen for the usual bright ball of sunshine that was Y/N Seresin. 

“She’s uh,” Jake cleared his throat, “She’s not feeling well. She’s laying down right now.” 

“What wrong wit Mommy?” Ella asked, looking up at Jake with those big green eyes. Jake knew that at some point in time, they needed to talk to the kids about what happened, but he was hoping that he would have some time to gather his thoughts before telling them. If it was up to Jake, he would wait to talk to them, but he also knew that Y/N hated keeping things from them. 

“Your mommy,” Jake shook his head, “We found out today that. . . we lost the baby.” The room was silent for a moment as the five and two-and-a-half-year-old were trying to come to terms with what their father just said. How does one even explain the circle of life to kids? 

“How?” Ella asked. 

“I’m not really sure, Elles,” Jake said, running his hand over her blonde hair, “Sometimes, it just happens. There’s no explanation. There’s no reason. Sometimes, God decides he needs the baby a bit more than we do.” 

Alex blinked a couple of times, staring at the bottom wrung of the chair that Steve had chewed up, “Is that Baby with Uncle Bradley’s mom and dad?” 

Jake nodded, “Yeah. The baby is with Uncle Bradley’s mom and Dad, and Grandpa Seresin, and the dog your mommy had as a child, and Aunt Dragon’s babies.” 

“I don’t wike that,” Ella pouted, as the tears slowly started to roll down her cheeks. Jake cooed and walked over to her, picking her up in his arms, and holding her head against his chest as she cried. 

“I know, baby girl, I know,” Jake sniffled, “No one does. It’s hard to lose the people you love,” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “All we can do now, is show mama some love, give her some extra cuddles. She’s going to be sad for a while.” 

“I wanna go to Mommy,” Ella mumbled and Jake nodded. He carried Ella in his arms and walked up the stairs toward their shared room. Alex stayed in his spot, still staring at that beat-up wrung of the stool. 

Jake knocked softly on the bedroom door, waiting for the invite from Y/N to let him in. He knew not to overcrowd her and make her feel uncomfortable. Sometimes Y/N reminded him of a scared, feral dog that had been kicked one too many times. But her quiet, soft voice granted him permission to come in, and Jake gently pushed the door open. 

Y/N was facing the door and looked up to see her baby girl with tears rolling down her cheeks. Y/N gave Jake a sad smile and shifted a bit in bed to make room for Ella. Silently, Jake stepped across the threshold and brought Ella to Y/N. 

“My baby girl, what are the tears for?” Y/N asked Ella, as Jake pulled back the covers and gently placed her next to her mom. 

“I don’t want you to be sad,” Ella mumbled, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“I know,” Y/N said softly, “I’ll only be sad for a little while, I promise.” She pulled Ella in close to her chest and rubbed her back. Ella was like Jake in so many ways, that the small gesture was a sure way to make them both fall asleep. 

Jake smiled at his girls before returning downstairs to make Y/N some tea. Alex was still in the same spot as he was when Jake went upstairs. He eyed his child as he filled and set the kettle on the stove. Jake always felt like he had a hard time connecting with Alex. Y/N was already four months pregnant with him when Jake came home from a mission. And Jake had to leave when he was only three months old for another mission. Alex was also the complete opposite of his father and Jake struggled to find things they had in common. 

“What’re you thinking about, Lex?” Jake asked, leaning against the counter. 

“Do you know where I can get white roses?” Alex said, looking up at his dad. Jake’s eyebrows furrowed, “Uncle Rooster always gets Aunt Dragon white roses on Ida’s birthday. He says they are for membrance.” 

“Remembrance,” Jake said, “And I think I know a place where we can get some.” 

— — — 

Three days later, Jake and Alex were in the middle of Y/N’s garden, while she sat in a chair with Ella. Doctor Carpenter told her to take the next couple of days easy while her body and mind processed the news of the miscarriage. The kids had been a great help, keeping Y/N’s mind off the loss and giving her the extra cuddles that she didn’t know she needed. 

“White Roses love the sun,” Y/N said, as Alex finished digging the whole, “You picked a perfect spot, Alex.” 

The little boy wiped the sweat from his brow as Jake brought over the poted plant, “Thanks, momma.” 

“Alright Ella, you want to come help with this?” Jake asked, and the little girl happily obliged. She wiggled out of her moms lap and walked over to where the two boys were standing. 

Jake gently pulled the rose bush from the bucket it sat in, remembering all the critiques Y/N gave him while he helped her plant to other flowers in the garden. Ella and Alex cupped the bottom of the plant as they gently eased it into the hole. Y/N stood up from her chair and walked over to her family, watching as the kids covered the base of the rose bush with fresh soil. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes as Jake put his arm around her, pulling her flush against his side. 

“There!” Alex said, clapping the dirt off of his hands, “Do you like it?!” 

“We love it, baby,” Jake smiled, “Now come here! Family hug!” Y/N giggled as the kids ran right towards their legs, hugging them tightly, “I love you guys, with all my heart, and all my being.”

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[topguncortez]

[ CLOSE ] with Jake and shy wifey ❤️ I can’t get enough of them!

Hold Me Close - Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

warnings: mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of parental abuse, tooth rotting fluff.

based on this prompt: [close] sender reaches out and pulls receiver into their lap as they are walking by

opposites attract masterlist | G's slumber party

Growing up, Jake was never a fan of Sundays.

As a kid, Sundays meant going to church. Sitting in the hot chapel in long sleeve button up, a suit coat that never quite fit him right, and pressed khaki pants with dress shoes that squeezed his feet. It took every ounce of strength for him to not fall asleep when Paster James would go off on one of his weekly tangents about the youth in the town turning into "whores and sluts" whatever those were. After church, meant Sunday school were Jake had to sit and sing songs and eat lukewarm egg salad sandwiches and lemonade.

It got worse when he got older and his dad had become a city official. High school Jake would roll out of bed fighting off a hangover as he sat in that same hot and stuffy church. Though, he no longer had to attend Sunday school, he did have to plaster a smile on his face for Sunday dinners, where his mother would spend most of the morning cooking some grand meal for some new guest each week. Jake had to sit there and listen as men praised his father for the work he was doing and how he would be a shoo-in for mayor. If only they knew that before they had arrived, his father and shoved him hard against a bookshelf.

Then, Sundays became the day of recovery as he entered the academy. Long were the days of going to church, but now he was the thing that Paster James had warned about, a whore. There was a new woman in his bed almost every Sunday morning. Jake was never the cuddling type, and he always did feel slightly bad kicking them out. But he wasn't totally heartless, he would order them a cab. Once he got rid of the women, it was time for studying and pounding out whatever last minute project he had to do, and ignoring his father's calls.

Once Jake got his wings and got to his first duty station, he despised Sundays once again. There was no flying on Sundays. Most of his wingmen spent Sundays with their families or recovering from a hangover. Jake had outgrew the hangover, banging a new girl every Saturday night thing, but he hadn't grown into the whole Sunday family man thing either. Instead, he sat in his small dorm room, folding laundry and watching the NFL, bored out of his mind waiting for Monday to roll around again.

Jake never truly learned to like Sundays, until he met Y/N.

Y/N, who grew up sleeping in late and having pancakes for lunch in her pajamas with her family. Y/N, who wasn't forced to go to church with her mother, unless she wanted to. Y/N, who spent Sunday afternoons lazying around outside, watching the clouds roll by in the backyard. Y/N, who truly felt like Sundays were a day to just relax, and rest.

The first Sunday Jake had ever spent with Y/N, he was completely out of his element. He woke up a whole three hours before she did, and just laid there in bed, with her head on his chest. He watched as her eyes slowly fluttered open, her eyes a little bleary in a cute, confused way.

"Morning," She whispered, her voice thick with sleep and it sent a jolt straight to Jake's cock.

"Good morning," Jake smiled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, "What's the plan for today?"

Y/N yawned, turning on her back and stretching her limbs, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Jake asked, his eyebrows furrowed, "It's Sunday. You have no plans?"

"Yeah, it's Sunday," Y/N shrugged, "I have some things I'd like to do today, like wash the vases I got back, set up a potential menu for the farmer's market this week, deadhead some of the morning glories. . . but I have all day to do that."

Jake nodded his head, still slightly confused as Y/N rolled out of bed and checked her phone, "If we hurry, we can probably go get breakfast at Great Harvest, they close at 12:00."

"And what time is it?" Jake was almost too scared to ask.

"11:30."

"11:30!" Jake felt like the day was already over. Like he should be preparing for dinner or hell, the next day.

"Okay, take a breather," Y/N said softly, "We don't have to go to Great Harvest. Actually, I have a better idea."

Jake still looked bewildered as he watched his girlfriend, in nothing but a baby pink floral nightgown waltz out of the room. A few moments later, he heard the familiar sound of pots and pans clashing together. For someone who was so quiet and shy, she certainly knows how to make a ruckus.

Slowly, Jake rose from the bed, pulling up the blankets and fixing the pillows just the way she liked them. By the time Jake had made it downstairs to the small kitchen of Y/N's bungalow, the scent of blueberries and lemon filtered through his nose. The familiar sound of sizzling bacon and eggs filled the air as Jake leaned against the doorway, watching his girl work.

Y/N moved effortlessly like she had done this a dozen times before, which should've made a pang of jealousy flutter through Jake's chest, but he knew that he was the first man to sleep beside her in bed. The first man who had ever seen her in her most vulnerable form.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked, causing her to jump.

Y/N looked over her shoulder, a shy smile on her face as he pushed off the doorjamb, "I had this dough in the fridge and decided," She shrugged, "Today's the day I'll bake it. Had some fresh blueberries and lemon to use. And I know as a growing boy, you need your protein," Y/N gestured to the eggs and bacon, two things Jake knew she didn't eat.

Jake couldn't help the smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her close against his chest, nuzzling his face into her neck, "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," Y/N said, sincerely, looking up at him. She placed a chaste kiss on his lips, "Go sit. I'll bring this over when it's done."

Jake obliged, going to sit at the small wrought iron table in the corner of her pink kitchen. He chuckled to himself seeing the morning paper, a cup of coffee and a pencil sitting in front of him. Jake looked up at her, seeing her focused attention on some other baked good she was working on.

About twenty minutes later, Y/N had pulled the fresh blueberry bread out of the oven, and covered it with the homemade lemon frosting. She served up two plates, one for Jake that had eggs, bacon, and three slices of blueberry bread, and one for her which consisted of oatmeal and one slice of blueberry bread.

"Plate for me," She smiled setting her plate down, "And a plate for you," She set the other down in front of Jake, "Anything else?"

Jake looked at her, a smirk on his face, "Yeah. . . you," He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her down into his lap, making her laugh, "This is what you do every Sunday?"

"Well, not to this extent," She gestured to the full plates of food, "But yeah. I wake up late, usually make a cup of tea and some oatmeal, maybe some bread if I feel like it. . . and just let the day take me where it wants."

Jake smiled at her, "I could get use to this."

"Good. . . cause you're stuck with me."

[topguncortez]

[ DISCUSSION ]  for our muses to talk about kinks and figure out their boundaries together with Jake and Shy! Wife, please, they are my favorites

Let's Talk About Sex - Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey HC

warnings: sex, daddy kink, small lactation kink, size kink, virginity, brief mentions of threesomes, voyuerism, watching porn, mentions of sexuality, mutual masturbation, sex in public places, mentions of body hair, quickies, cum kink

note: I know you probably wanted a fic out of this, but the best I could give ya was a headcannon without it being 97000 pages long. I hope you enjoy!:) also I would love to dive more into Shy!Wifey's sexuality and how she navigates it with Jake. So don't be afraid to ask about that!

g's slumber party || opposites attract masterlist

Jake hated the saying "it's always the quiet ones," but in his experience. . . it usually was the quiet ones

When Y/N had met Jake, yes, she was a virgin. It wasn't that she was holding out for her wedding night to swipe her v-card. Sure, she was religious but she wasn't religious in the sense of "Sex before marriage is a sin."

For her, she just never felt comfortable going there or even thinking about going there with the guys she dated before Jake. Actually, for a while, she thought there was something wrong with her. She never got those warm feelings or that "rush of heat" to her core like the books said. Until she met Jake.

It still took Y/N some time to get totally comfortable with Jake. Their wedding night wasn't one straight from the romcoms and fairytales. It was a night of going slow, figuring out what she liked and what felt right. Y/N tried to fight through the pain she was in cause she wanted Jake to have a good time, but he could see her wincing. The night eventually came to a standstill with Jake refusing to go on because Y/N was near tears from the pain.

It also didn't help that Y/N was so in her head about how she looked. Should she have worn something sexier for him? Was her double chin showing? Should she have shaved or gotten waxed? Did Jake mind body hair or was this repulsing him?

The next morning, Jake sat her down and asked her "What do you like in bed?" All Y/N could do was shrug, meekly telling him "I don't know."

So, Jake suggested watching porn. He found a couple of amateur videos that he thought Y/N would like, and they watched them together. Y/N looked at them as though they were sex education videos while Jake was fighting off a stiffy the whole time.

"This? Gets your rocks off?" Y/N asked, looking at him. Jake couldn't help the boyish grin on his face, "Well. . . yeah. What about you? What do you like?" She took his phone from him, searching through the porn site until she found a video she liked. Jake was surprised to see it was two females, half naked and covered in oil.

Their second attempt at having sex together went better than the first. They had been doing some stuff together, mutual masturbation, oral sex, dirty text messages throughout the day, even the simple act of laying next to each other naked, getting comfortable with one another, all seemed to help. Their second attempt went much better than the first.

Ever so slowly, they started experimenting more and more. It started with doing more positions in bed, Y/N wanting to be on top to watch Jake's face as he came. Or her asking him to pull her hair. Or flipping herself over onto her stomach.

The first time "Daddy" slipped out of her lips, they both paused, both equally frightened and turned on. Jake felt his heart in his chest as he was trying to figure out what to do, but it was as if Y/N could read his mind, "Do that again, daddy, please." And who was Jake to deny her???

As if Jake couldn't get anymore possessive over Y/N. It was bad enough that she had his wedding ring on her finger, his last name as her own and the tattoo of his callsign on her ass. . . Jake also had to make sure she was stuffed full of him. He didn't know he could love the sight of her swollen cunt, dripping with cum.

"You like watching it, don't you?" Y/N asked, breathlessly as Jake's green eyes were looking between her legs. He smirked, leaning down and licking her, "Of course I do. . . Cause one of these days. . . I'm gonna get you so full of me, it'll knock you up."

Then, enter Baby Seresin number one, and their sex life totally changes. Not only does Jake develop a breeding kink seeing his wife grow and swell with his child, but his sex drive and Y/N's sex drive is through the roof. Quickies, anywhere and everywhere.

"Do you know how much trouble well get in if Penny finds us?" Y/N pants against his lips one night at the hard deck, "She'll forgive us once we tell her she is an honorary grandmother," Jake tugs down the top of her sundress, her swollen breasts popping out, "Fuck. . . look at you. Getting all ready to have my child. To be able to feed them. . . I love you like this," Y/N quickly slaps her hand over her mouth as Jake's tongue swirls her nipple before pulling it into his mouth.

[topguncortez]

Hold My Hand | Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey

Opposites Attract Masterlist | Main Masterlist

synopsis: Y/N notices a change with her body, and Jake is there to give her the support she needs.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: mentions of a c-section, postpartum, breastfeeding, unprotected sex, shower sex, fear of doctors, mentions of breast cancer

Y/N felt like she knew more about how a woman’s body changes during pregnancy than her own doctor. By the time she was having baby three, she was an old pro and could tell you exactly what stage of development the fetus was in, how the mother’s body was changing, and the size of the baby. Y/N knew that every pregnancy was different, and each one of hers was different than the last. She knew that being pregnant with twins was going to be vastly different than being pregnant with just one. However, she never accounted for how different it was going to be. 

A C-section was never in the cards for Y/N, but she didn’t really have a choice when she was whisked away by doctors and nurses and taken to an operating room. She didn’t really remember much about it, she could remember being cold, feeling exposed, the scent of burning flesh. But she did remember the feeling of her baby boys being placed on her chest for the first time. She remembered the feeling of Jake running his fingers through her hair and telling her she did a good job. She remembered the bright faces of her other three children when they got to hold the last Seresin babies in their arms. 

Ever since that day, Y/N vowed to do things how she did for the last three pregnancies. She chose to breastfeed the best she could. It was a challenge at first, her milk didn’t come in right away from having the twins early, and due to the c-section. But it got easier once she did start producing, in fact, she started over-producing and woke up most mornings with sore breasts. Jake was great help, waking up during the night to help her feed the twins, and getting her breast pump ready for her. 

The first time she felt the lump was in the middle of the night. Jasper had woken up and was hangry. Y/N told Jake to stay in bed, and that it was just one of the twins that wanted attention. She had gotten him situated to feed when she felt the painful lump on her chest. Y/N had brushed it off, thinking it was just a clogged milk duct. She made sure to feed Jasper on that side, hoping that he could get the clog out. When Jasper was done feeding, Y/N burped him and wrapped him back up in his swaddle.

Y/N didn’t think anything of it, until about two weeks later. 

She and Jake had finally gotten a private moment to themselves. The older three Seresins were at school, and the twins were down for a nap. Y/N placed the baby monitor on the shelf next to the shower and dragged her husband in there with her. Sexy time with Jake was something as few and far between as the passing of Halley’s Comet. They had gotten good at mastering the art of quickies; in the shower, in the garage, in the back of Y/N’s Cadillac SUV. 

Jake’s hands were roaming Y/N’s wet skin, as his mouth was on hers. His cock was gently thrusting in and out of her, trying to make their private moment last as long as it could. Her hands were tangled in his hair, pulling on the blonde locks that had grown way past acceptable for the Navy. Jake was clearly enjoying his time off as much as Y/N was; not having to wake up early, shave every single day, and get constant weekly haircuts. 

“Fuck, sweets,” Jake groaned, as he pressed kisses to her neck. His strong hands held her up against the shower wall, “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too,” Y/N moaned, tilting her head back. Jake’s tongue moved across her skin, down to her breast. The moment his tongue came in contact with her nipple she let out a hiss and pulled him back by his hair. 

“You okay?” Jake asked, his eyes full of concern, “Is it mas-” 

“Please,” Y/N groaned, “Do not talk about mastitis while your cock is inside me.” 

Jake chuckled and kissed her. He didn’t waste any more time, knowing that at any moment the babies could start crying and want attention. He brought his hand down between their bodies, circling her clit in slow tantalizing circles, bringing her over the edge with his name falling from her lips like a prayer. 

“I’ll go check on, ‘em,” Jake said, as he slipped on his sweatpants. His hair was still damp from the shower, and Y/N still stood in front of the mirror, wrapped in only her towel. She hummed in agreement, and Jake kissed the side of her head before going towards the twins’ nursery. 

Y/N stared at herself in the mirror, waiting for Jake’s voice to come over the baby monitor. She let out a shaky breath as she dropped her towel, and ever so gently, ran her fingers along the side of her breast. The moment her fingers came in contact with what she hoped disappeared weeks ago, she let out a small sob. 

— — — 

One of Valeria Bates-Machado’s favorite things was being able to take care of her friends’ kids. It brought her joy seeing them year after year and seeing how much they have grown. She always made the check-ups less scary for parents and kids. Val had been the Seresin kids’ doctor since they were born and knew probably as much about them as their parents did. This was why Val found it a bit odd that Jasper and Maxwell Seresin were on her schedule for the day. 

“Y/N,” Val said, as she entered the room, “What brings you in today?” 

Y/N gave Val a small smile, “Nothing, just a check-up.” 

Val nodded, “I just saw them three weeks ago.” 

“Well, Jasper seemed to be a little congested.” 

Val nodded again, still not believing the smile on Y/N’s face. It didn’t reach her eyes like it usually did, and she never just showed up like this when her kids had the flu. Y/N was a mom times five, she knew what to do when her babies showed signs of congestion. 

But Val did the check-up either way, and confirmed what Y/N thought, that Jasper did have some congestion, but it was nothing that warranted a visit like this. Val ordered some medicine for the little boy, and held him while Y/N got Maxwell out to feed. 

“So how are things?” Val asked, “When does Jake go back to work full-time?” 

“Next week,” Y/N mumbled, looking down at Maxwell, “He’s excited-” 

“And you’re not?” Y/N took a deep breath, trying to swallow down the tears that were welling up in her throat. Val’s eyes softened as she looked at her friend, “What’s going on?” 

“I…. I need your help with something. I know you’re a pediatrician, but you’re one of the only doctors I trust and you know I don’t trust doctors, and I-” 

“Shh,” Val said, reaching for her friend’s hand, “I got you. Whatever it is, I got you. We’ll get through this.” 

— — — 

It had been a week. 

A slow, dreadful, anxiety-filled week.

Every call, every email, every text message had sent a tiny jolt of anxiety through Y/N’s body. Val said she would reach out to her the second that she got the results back. They had agreed to take it one step at a time, starting with taking some scans. Y/N tried her best to remember that they couldn’t do anything else without getting those scans back, but it didn’t stop her mind from jumping to the worst-case scenario. 

Jake had noticed over the past week that something had been off with Y/N. He couldn’t quite explain it or put his finger on it. She was quieter than normal, shying away from his touches. She had decided to switch to bottles full time, instead of breastfeeding. And every time she held her babies, she would squeeze them just a bit tighter and hold them just a bit longer. 

“What’s going on with you?” Jake asked, as he set down a bowl of ice cream with a caramel brownie in front of her, “You’re never this quiet.” 

“Just tired,” Y/N answered, running a hand over her face, “Having Eli home this week has been a change.” 

Jake nodded, still eyeing his wife. The kids had long since been put to bed, after bathtime and several bedtime stories. It was just the two of them, each having an extra slice of the desert, revealed in the quiet house and alone time. Jake let the silence stretch out a little longer, the only sound was the quiet hum from the baby monitor and the clinking of spoons against the bowl. 

“Alright,” Jake sighed, taking the bowl away from his wife, “Talk to me. What’s going on?” 

“Noth-” 

Jake gave her a look and Y/N returned it with an irritated glare. But the facade only lasted for a minute, before her eyes turned glassy, and her cheeks heated up. Jake’s jaw dropped slightly, as the tears started to flow down her cheeks. Y/N buried her face in her hands and quiet sobs escaped her lips. 

Y/N Seresin was not a woman who cried.  

Y/N Seresin was a tough woman, who hid her tears and walked through hell with a smile. 

Jake Seresin was at a total loss on what to do as his wife cried in front of him. 

He waited for a moment, letting her get her tears out. He grew up with sisters to know that sometimes, you just need to cry it out. That asking questions and trying to figure out why at the moment could make it all worse. Jake waited until the tears had somewhat subsided, before grabbing one of her hands and pulling it away from her face. When her sobs turned into sniffles, Jake squeezed her hand, letting her know that she had the floor to talk. 

“I found a lump,” Y/N whispered, her eyes closed. Jake’s eyebrows furrowed, “I found it a couple of weeks ago, I thought it was just a clogged duct. I went to see Val for some scans and I… They want to run some tests.” She opened her eyes and looked at her husband

Jake didn’t know what to say. 

What do you even say in a situation like this? 

Jake swallowed thickly as he leaned forward in his chair, squeezing her hand. He opened his mouth several times, racking his brain for things to say. 

‘It’ll be alright.’

‘We’ll figure it out.’ 

‘How bad is it?’ 

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ 

Everything Jake was thinking of saying, just didn’t sound right to say out loud. So instead, he sat there, and held her hand.

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