#jaehyun x gender neutral reader

[4ranghaes]

more myungjae… please 😞😞 u write him so perfectly 🙈

your wish is my command… i just saw an edit of myungjae and i came onto tumblr to write then i saw this… anon we’re one and the same

myung jaehyun x reader [fluff, slight angst, gender neutral!reader]

00:15 - “myungjae?” you called into the darkness, hearing the click of the bedroom door closing.

he winced, stopping his tiptoeing as you flicked on the light beside you.

“myungjae!” you smiled sleepily, opening your arms for your ball of sunshine to jump into them as he always did when he came home from practise.

“hey love,” he said quietly, grabbing your hand and pressing a small kiss to the palm, not jumping into your arms and instead collecting his pyjamas silently and going into your en-suite.

“jae?” you asked softly, getting out of bed and donning your slippers and the hoodie he’d just thrown on your vanity chair. you padded to the bathroom, opening the door to see jaehyun rubbing cleanser into his face. he furrowed his eyebrows upon seeing you leaning against the doorframe, looking at you through the mirror.

“go back to bed, love, i’ll be there in a moment,” he murmured, rinsing the cleanser off his hands before leaning down to do the same to his face.

you wordlessly walked around him, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet. after drying his face with the towel, he looked down at you and sighed.

“what?”

“what’s wrong?” you hummed, rubbing his arm gently.

he shook his head, giving you a fake smile, “nothing! baby, go back to bed, please.”

you sighed, standing up and stroking your hands through his hair. between comebacks, it had started to grow long enough for you to tuck behind his ears. jaehyun’s hands held your waist as his head dropped, his chin touching his chest.

“what’s wrong, my love?” you whispered, wrapping your arms around your big puppy of a boyfriend, his head now in the comfort of your chest as he started to sob. you gasped, pressing kisses to his head and rubbing his back. “jaehyun-ah, my baby. what happened?”

“nothing,” he sniffled, pulling his head out to look at you with teary eyes. “i just—”

he cut himself off with a tight sob as you took his hand and pulled him over to the bed, cuddling him into your arms so you could hold him properly - the height difference making it hard as you stood up.

his head laid on your shoulder, your arm wrapped around his body, your other hand being played with by jaehyun as he fiddled to distract himself.

“i just… it’s hard, you know?”

“what is?” you murmured, pushing his hair out his face to make him look up at you. he did so, his big, teary eyes looking pitifully up at you.

“everything! i’m practising all day every day and then when we don’t have practise i’m back to mc-ing and i love both of those thing, of course i do but i also just…” he trailed off, curling into your body, “i just want to rest.”

jaehyun chuckled, sniffling as he wiped away his tears. he then stopped, hesitating before he continued. “and i have no idea what i’m doing as the leader, you know? i’m constantly scared that i’m gonna steer them down the wrong path.”

you sighed, wrapping both of your arms around him, “of course it’s hard, myungjae-ah. you work so hard. leading the team by yourself, composing, mc-ing, all while practising for your new comeback? i couldn’t do it.”

“you’re allowed to say that you’re struggling, you know,” you muttered, picking his face out your chest with your palms on each of his cheeks. “don’t bottle it up.”

“are you kidding? i never bottle anything up, i’m always crying!”

“yeah, which is a good thing!” you exclaimed, “you’re good at showing emotions, unlike some men.”

jaehyun smiled, resting his head on your shoulder, “i suppose.”

“i love that about you, baby. don’t be ashamed.”

he sighed, relaxing into your body as he pulled the duvet up around you two.

“do you wanna watch a drama before we sleep?” you asked, linking your arm with his.

he looked at you with excited eyes, nodding quickly.

you giggled, nodding back as you grabbed your laptop off the bed side table, placing it on your lap. you went onto netflix, clicking on the show you were currently watching together.

jaehyun snuggled closer to you as the intro rolled. “thank you, love.”

“hmm?”

“i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

[iknowyuu]

enha-anti

sim jaehyun x non-idol! foreign! gender neutral! reader

↝ wc: 2.301

/⟡/ in which idol! jake and worker! reader engage in convenience store antics <3 /⟡/ content: jake calls reader gorgeous, reader speaks English, reader is not korean, jake calls reader gorgeous and stunning /⟡/

REBLOGS + COMMENTS >>>> LIKES

daily click to help palestine and other important causes!

bored. completely, entirely, utterly bored. you don't think you've ever been this bored in your life.

okay, maybe that was dramatic, but it doesn't really change your case.

it was now.. 11:14pm, and you'd been standing in the convenience store for just over five hours now. this was only your third shift, and you were already starting to regret picking up a job for the summer. the dullness of the florescent white light above you, as well as the uneventful night after night was already starting to get to you.

you sighed, shaking your head to clear your thoughts as you continued stocking the shelves, trying to finish out your shift. you only had two hours left, "you can do this." you told yourself.

waking you further out of your stupor, you jumped as you heard the bells on the shop ring. you lightly yelled, "welcome in!" as you hurried towards the counter to be met with two taller men- boys? you couldn't tell, they both had black masks and hats covering their faces. one had dark brown hair and big, puppy like eyes, and the other had the same shade of brown, but with blonde highlights. "thank you!" "thanks." they both bowed lightly to you as they made their way into the store.

you tried not to pay attention to their giggles and snickers, as well as their increasingly loud conversation. you felt a little bad for eavesdropping, but you really couldn't help it! they were so loud, and you had nothing but the mind-numbing kpop playlist on loop to listen to. it was cute at first, but it got boring, extremely fast.

the two eventually showed up to the counter. the first boy, the puppy-eyed one, greeted you and placed his assortment of snacks down onto the checkout counter, making light conversation with you. "hi, how are you?" you noticed how he didn't speak korean with you, and you also noticed his very strong australian accent. "im good.. and you?" you respond in english as well. "good, thank you.. closing shift, huh?" you sigh and nod. "yeah.. we know how that is." he glanced at his friend before thanking you as you gave him his bag of items. the next boy lightly bowed, setting his items down as well, "hello.." he said, and you smiled. "hi.." you scanned his items, not noticing how you involuntary scoffed at the next song that played over the speakers.

the two the boys looked at you questionably and you waved them off. "sorry, it's not you guys. i just.. can't stand this song. it's so annoying."

the speakers continued, "hanyeoreum bamui dream.. addicted to the summer nights!"

the one with cat-like eyes laughed in shock, while the other one scoffed in disbelief and humor. "are you serious?" they exchanged looks with each other, and you couldn't help but giggle, noticing that the one with the cat eyes switched to korean, asking chincha?. "yes!" you answered in the same language. "okay look, its a cute song. one would even call it cutie. but, like, hearing it every single night, several times a night.. im starting to become an anti of.. whoever these guys are."

the puppy-eyed boy burst out laughing while the other one laughed once more in shock, "you're joking, right?" puppy boy asked as you continued bagging his snacks. "you have to be joking."

"no!" you giggled with him. "it's so insufferable. okay, ill be real, i get the hype. it's a great summer song, and im sure the choreography goes hard, but like.. the one who says 'addicted to the summer nights~' in the beginning is really starting to piss me off." you joke.

the puppy eyed boy only laughs harder, watching as this friend scoffs jokingly, crossing his arms at you. puppy boy continued laughing as he paid, before finally calming down enough to squeeze some words out. "okay, fine, you don't like upper side dreamin'. then what about ou- i mean, their other songs?"

"ha, i bet they're all as annoying as this one." you shake your head, handing him the receipt.

"okay, okay, break it up you two." cat boy joked. "what's your name?" "oh, um.." you pointed to your name tag. "[name], huh?" you smiled and nodded. cat boy grabbed his bag full of snacks from you. puppy boy jokingly elbowed his friend, "oh, yeah. that makes sense. [name] is such a hater name." you burst out in laughter. "what?" the upper-side-dreamin'-defender shrugs, walking out with his mask down to stuff a lollipop in his mouth.

"don't mind him. he's just a.. very big fan of that group." he chuckles with you, and you wave him off. "im.. you can call him ikeu. and im riki. we'll see you around?" you smile and wave, wishing him goodbye as he walks out of the store.

for once, this job didn't make you wanna tear your hair out in boredom.

⋆˙⟡

the next day, you sat at the counter, sighing in boredom once again. you looked at the time on your phone, sighing again, dramatically this time as the clock just struck 12am. "one more hour." you mumbled, leaning your head on the counter.

soon enough, you began to doze off. a one minute nap turned into five, which turned into ten. you're sure your manager would've walked in and fired you on the spot if it wasn't for the boy who walked in and poked your arm, causing you to jump. "what the fuck!?" you yelped, placing your hand over your chest.

the boy laughed mischievously, holding his hands up in surrender. "chill, hater. it's just me." you scoff. "you again? where's your friend.. riki, was it?"

he looked at you in confusion. "uh- how did you know his name?"

"oh, he told me after you told me i had a hater name." you teased.

"pfft-." he laughed. "don't act like it isn't true.. and he was too tired to come." he said as he looked around the store, walking towards the ramen section. "and.. you're ikeu, right?"

his head whipped back to you. "you know me??"

"um.. what? what are you on?" you giggled. "of course i do. you were literally here yesterday."

he breathed another sigh of relief, bring his food to the counter for you to scan. "yeah. sorry, im out of it today." you hum, glancing up at him. "..you good?" he looks down at the counter, unblinking as he ponders your question. "yeah. im good." he says softly. the mood doesn't stay down for long though, as he quickly changed the subject, running a hand through his hair. "so, upper-side-dreamin-hater, have you listened to any other enhypen songs? at the very least?"

you put a finger to your chin, tapping it. "welllll.. i don't think ive really heard any other.. enhypen?" you watch as he nods. "enhypen songs. what, are they not all as corny as that one?"

you didn't really think the song was corny. you just wanted a reaction out of him, and that's what you got.

he scoffed at you throwing his head back. "it isn't corny! do you just not like kpop at all?" he says. "are you a kpop hater?"

you scrunched your eyebrows at him. "what? of course not! i wouldn't have come to korea if i was a kpop hater. it's just that this dumb job has literally the worst playlist of all time... well, it's not that bad.. it's just, it's annoying how much we play it. it's a two hour long playlist. imagine that, except on loop, throughout a five to seven hour shift, literally every night." you giggle, looking away embarrassedly as he maintains intense eye contact, his smile growing bigger with each sentence you ramble.

he shook his head at you, "well, i think you just need to be more optimistic about it," he says, grabbing his plastic bag full of ramen. you raise an eyebrow. "im serious! imagine, some people have to listen to... edm all throughout their shifts. imagine your work boosting the bass so high that your ears are ringing at the end of every night." you sigh dramatically, crossing your arms. you whine jokingly, handing him his receipt. "that doesn't helppp!" he snickers at your display, letting out a "think about it, [name]!" before he walks out of the store.

⋆˙⟡

the following day, he's there even later than the last two days, arriving thirty minutes till you close up. he smiles at you, waving before speed walking towards the premade food section. you try not to spy on him as he throws multiple containers of ramen, gimbap, fish sticks, and random snacks into his basket, all before hauling it towards the checkout.

"hi," he says, heaving just as he places the basket onto the counter. "damn. someone's hungry." you say before quickly correcting yourself. "i mean, no judgement.." you say nervously.

he chuckles at you, waving you off. "don't worry about it," he smiles, looking up at you before looking down shyly, running a hand through his hair, hoping that you don't notice his face heating up. "it's, uh, for me and my friends," his gaze follows your hands, watching you scan each item fast and with ease. "woah. you're good at that."

you giggle, thanking him before questioning him further, "oh, really? how many of you guys?" he smiles at you, pulling out his card to swipe on the machine. "there's seven, including me." you look at him in shock. "seven? that's a really big friend group." he chuckles, nodding as he enters his pin. "huh.. i never thought of us as big. well, there's two who are older than me, uh.. then there's me, then four more who are younger. our youngest was the one with me a few days ago, actually." he flashes you another one of his pretty smiles, before grabbing the bags. "okay, i gotta go, i'm already late." he chuckles, " i'll see you tomorrow?" he smiles as you nod, lifting one of his hands, the one that has two filled bags in the palm of it, waving you goodbye as he steps out of the store.

he didn't mention that him and his members were doing a mukbang live last minute, and he volunteered to be the one to pick up the food from the second nearest, but closest open convenience store just so he could see your stunning face.

⋆˙⟡

you didn't see him for the next few days. for the first two, you thought 'maybe he's busy', and that 'maybe he's too tired to come today'. the next two, you thought that you must be delusional for imagining the spark between you two. the way he looked at you, as much as you hate to admit it, pierced your heart so deeply that you couldn't escape his puppy-like eyes. not even in your dreams.

all that's to say, you're really shocked when he stumbles into the shop, leaning onto the counter, breathing as if he ran all the way here.

"i ran all the way here," that explains it.

"um.. why?" you asked, holding back a giggle. "we don't close for two hours."

"yeah..." he pants. "wait, what?" he says. you're unable to hold yourself back, bursting out in laughter. he finds the energy to chuckle with you, putting his hand on his forehead. "no way." you laugh even harder, putting your hands on your stomach. he only laughs harder along with you, leaning both his elbows onto the counter.

your laughs die down and you speak up, "where have you been?" you ask, dramatically rolling your eyes and sighing, "my shifts have been so boring.." you pout.

he laughs, crossing his arms. "boring? but you have this amazing playlist to keep you company!" he laughs again at the way your face twists in annoyance. "really though, it's just my job. it's kind of... i don't know... it's like an on-the-call job. kinda like a firefighter, or a surgeon, except im not any of those." you laugh, giggling at the way he rambles. he looks at you tenderly, trying his hardest not to blush as he looks down again, just as his phone buzzes. all of a sudden, his calm demeanor shifts to alarm.

"oh, shit, okay," he says, quickly pocketing his phone. "so, this is really random, but i'm leaving the country in like, two hours, and i won't be back for.. at least month." your jaw dropped and you neck leaned forward in shock. "what? all of a sudden?"

he nods. "yeah.. that's why i ran here. it's, uh.. for my job," he shifts in his spot, pulling out his phone and unlocking it, opening up the contacts app. "um.. i was wondering.. if i could have your number?" he looks at you, maintaining the same intense eye contact as he (almost) always had.

"oh!" you said, shocked at his sudden question. "uh, yeah. of course." you smile, looking down and grabbing his phone. you miss the way his nervous smile warps into a reassured one. you enter your contact as '[name] (enhypen-anti)'.

he laughed at his screen as he took his phone back from you, shaking his head and sending a message. "ill send you a playlist of all of enhypen's best songs. you have to listen to it before i get back." he says, sitting up from the counter. "i have to?" you ask, raising an eyebrow and giggling. "yesss! just do it, okay? you won't be disappointed." you sigh dramatically, crossing your arms. "god...." he snickers at your display, wishing you a goodbye before he walks out of the store. "i'll see you soon, okay? stay gorgeous." he says, waving goodbye.

you smile shyly at his compliment, feeling your phone buzz.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: [link attachment]

XXX-XXX-XXXX: You're gonna love this one I swear

XXX-XXX-XXXX: And if you think it's mid then I'll take you out :) win win fr

you: deal <3

don't forget your daily click to help palestine and other important causes!

[jaelvr]

Nectar

Home | NCT 127 masterlist |

Requested : yes by @couturethiquefemboy

Prompts ;  121. “I miss you, more than I thought possible.” + 66. “kiss me harder.”

Pairing : frat! jaehyun x gn! reader

Pronouns : you/yours

Type : fluff, suggestive

Word count : 5k

Content: mutual feelings, opposites, college au, basketball jock, dancer reader, fluff, slightly ooc

Have a great day !! 

——————————

You excused yourself from the group in the living room, making your way through the sea of bodies to the kitchen to grab another drink, refilling the red plastic cup of God knows what. He was sat on the counter, quick to dismiss the people in front of him as he saw you, sliding himself off before approaching you. His red-tinted sunglasses sat on top of his freshly dyed hair, the leather jacket pulled over his iconic jersey. "Hey sunshine." he murmured, his hand finding your waist. "I was wondering when you were going to come and annoy me." you chuckled, eyebrows raised as you sipped your drink. Jaehyun snickered at your retort. He was hoping you'd speak to him tonight, watching you all evening. “Just taking a break. I’ll go find someone else to annoy.” He smiled, his dimple showing against his smooth skin. “Unless you want me around?”

"Never do." you joked back, a small grin playing on your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He smiled down at you, grip on your waist tightening as he pulled you closer to his body, arms tight on your waist. "Never say never. I'll win you over eventually." Jaehyun gave you a cocky grin, gently nuzzling into your neck and placing kisses against it. "Keep dreaming, pretty boy." you whispered, biting your lip gently as your hand ran through his hair. Jaehyun smiled against your skin as your hand was in his hair. He kissed down your neck to your collarbone. His hands slowly made their way to your hips. Jaehyun kissed his way to your lips and finally claimed them. One hand gripping your hip, the other gently holding your chin. Your hand gently tugged on his hair as you made out, cheeks flushed. He smirked against your lips as he nipped at your bottom lip. His hand on your hip pulled you even closer. Jaehyun's tongue slipped through your lips to explore your mouth. His hand that held your chin slowly moved down your body to your thighs.

You grinned, pulling away as you heard your name being called in the other room. "That's my cue to leave." you murmured against his lips, pecking them one more time. Jaehyun was left disappointed. He wanted to keep kissing you. He leaned his forehead on yours with a smile. “Will I ever get you alone?” He whispered against your lips. Jaehyun pulled your face in for another quick kiss, his lips lingering. “I should let you go now. But please promise you’ll find time for me tonight.” He moved his hands to your hips so you could leave easily. His gaze not leaving you. "No promises, pretty boy." you giggled, kissing his cheek, your lipstick leaving a mark before you disappeared back into the crowd. Jaehyun watched you leave, still standing in the middle of the kitchen. He smirked, placing a hand over his cheek that still had your lipstick mark. He fixed his leather jacket and red-tinted sunglasses before going off to find someone else to pester.

He loved the chase, that's for sure.

----

Jaehyun slowly entered the studio, he watched your body move in the mirror. His eyes followed you gracefully throughout the room. Jaehyun loved watching you dance. He watched with such admiration. He was leaning on the door frame, just watching not wanting to interrupt your practice. You hadn't noticed him until you finished, seeing him smile as you looked up in the mirror. Jaehyun began clapping and whistling as you walked over to the stereo to turn the music off. He couldn’t help but watch you as you walked over to him. “That was quite the show sweetheart.” He smirked, his gaze roaming all over you. "Stalking me now?" you teased, shooting him a smirk as you wiped the sweat on your forehead, grabbing your towel. He followed behind you. His eyes were glued to your body as it was covered in sweat. Jaehyun bit his lip, shaking his head softly. He leaned down to your ear and grinned. “Just admiring the view.”

"Shouldn't you be in basketball practice?" you asked, head tilted as you drank some water. Jaehyun shrugged, leaning against the back wall. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I got out of practice a little bit ago. Figured you’d still be here so I came to bother you.” he smirked. “Besides… I got a better view here.” he murmured, eyes still wondering. "You always this insufferable? or just to me?" you asked, purposely bending down to place your water bottle back down. Jaehyun chuckled lightly. “Just you sunshine. You bring out the best in me.” His attention was pulled to your body when you leaned down. He licked his lips before going over to you. “You look… hot when you’re sweaty.” he murmured, arms wrapped around your waist again. "Is that so?" you murmured, hands resting on his chest. 

Jaehyun's hands slowly found their place on your hips. He smiled down at you, his thumbs gently rubbing circles. “You have no idea the things I’ve dreamt about…” he murmured, leaning a kiss to your neck. He planted a few loving kisses on your heated skin, nipping here and there. "Please do share." you murmured, smirking at him as you teased him with your wondering hands. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer to his body. He nipped and kissed all over your neck and lower jaw. “We could start out here. We could go over there.” Jaehyun gestured to the wall next to the stereo. His lips nipped at your earlobe. “Or… I can just take you right here...” Jaehyun's tone changed to a husky whisper as he kissed your skin.  "What if someone walks in?" you murmured, lips brushing against his neck. Jaehyun pressed his body against yours. “Mmm… I don’t care if someone walks in. Do you? I’d love for them to see how pretty you are.” 

"Jae..." you murmured, his name slipping out of your lips as he pressed kisses to your neck. Jaehyun paused. He pulled away slightly, looking into your eyes. He was surprised you had called him his actual name. “Say it again…” his tone was softer now. He caressed your cheek, his thumb brushing your cheekbone. "Jaehyun…" you murmured, looking up at him. “Much better. That pretty little mouth shouldn’t say my other name. It shouldn’t say any other guy's name.” Jaehyun had pulled your whole body against his. His lips captured yours. He poured his frustrations out through his kisses. They slowly grew more desperate. "Jae, please..." you let out whimpers, messily making out with him. “Mmm? Now you ask for things...?” he whispered into your ear. He nipped at your skin to tease you. “What do you want sunshine? Tell me.” Jaehyun's voice in your ear low and dark. The want building up inside of him. He began leaving more bruising kisses on your neck and collarbone. "You..." you murmured, in a daze.

“You have me sunshine.” Jaehyun murmured against your skin. He nibbled at the skin between your neck and collarbone, leaving soft and bruising kisses in his path. “All mine...” he nipped at your skin with a grin. Jaehyun took your hands in his and backed you into the wall. “Just like that. All mine.” There was a hint of possessiveness and jealousy laced in his tone. Just as things started getting more heated, his phone went off, interrupting the moment. Jaehyun was breathing heavily. His lips trailed to your collarbone and neck one more time. He stopped before pulling away altogether, reaching into his back pocket for his phone. “Goddamn it…. It’s probably coach.” He checked his phone and sighed. His breath was quick and his cheeks flushed. "S'alright, take it." you murmured, clearing your throat as you pulled away. Jaehyun paused and looked at you with an apologetic smile. He was obviously frustrated, and so close to losing it with you. He took a moment and pulled out his phone. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.” He sighed, stepping away from you. He went outside to take the call.

you let out a huff, running a hand through your hair. While this was nothing new between the two of you, it had never escalated this far. You sat down, reminding yourself that it probably meant nothing to the frat boy, doing this all the time with other people. Jaehyun took the call outside, his phone against his ear. He was pacing back and forth. The fact you let him kiss you like that was eating at him. You had turned him on more than anyone in a long time. he sighed as he hung up after a few minutes, and slowly made his way back into the studio, looking for you. Jaehyun's eyes were glued to your body as you started going through the routine again. Your body was so beautiful and graceful. He was mesmerized by you. He couldn’t help himself, his eyes took in every inch of you. Jaehyun finally stopped leaning against the doorway to walk over to you, he came up behind you. His hands slowly went around your waist, and he stood directly behind you. "Was it your coach?" you murmured, avoiding his eyes.

Jaehyun shrugged, his hands gently rubbing your sides. You could hear him take in your scent. “He can wait.” Jaehyun murmured. It drove him crazy. He moved your hair out of the way so he could plant a soft kiss on the back of your neck. "You should probably go to practice." you whispered, voice wavering slightly. "I was about to finish up and go home anyway." you lied, looking away. Jaehyun sighed, grabbing your hips tightly. He turned you around to face him. It was hard for him to be so close to you and not want to have you right there. “I just want one more moment with you before I go. Come here.” his grip tightened, not letting you out of his reach at all. "Jae-" you started before he cut you off. Jaehyun silenced you as he put his fingers against your lips, he pulled your hips against his body again, his body pressing against yours. “One minute. One more minute with you. That’s all I want and need.” He murmured, his lips meeting yours. His kiss was passionate and hungry. His hands gripped your hips, and he held you closer.

"You should go to practice now." you murmured once the pair of you had parted, not looking at him as you grabbed your stuff. Jaehyun stared at you. His lips curled in a slight frown. He hated the way you’d dismiss him. He'd had never felt such jealousy over someone before. He felt you belonged to him. Jaehyun knew he’d never be the guy to just let you go so easy. “You’re really leaving?” he muttered in a low and deep voice. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jaehyun." you murmured, sparing him a glance before walking out of the studio, leaving him standing in there alone. He watched you leave, His body was screaming at him to go after you. Every fibre in his being was pushing him to find you. But Jaehyun's ego, his pride wouldn’t let him chase after you. He clenched his fist and stomped out of the door. His mind screaming to go after you. Jaehyun leaned against his car in anger as his phone buzzed with another text and call from his coach.

You were so confusing.

----

Over the next few weeks, you avoided him, not responding to any calls or texts he'd left you and making sure not to bump into him in college. You were currently getting ready for your performance in the showcase for dance, doing a duet with Chan. He was part of the other frat group, and the rivalry between skz and ncit was strong, but you got along with both perfectly, his charming nature making it easy to bond. Your nerves were slowly kicking it, pacing around backstage. Jaehyun had given up on texting and calling you. He was frustrated and didn’t know what he did wrong. He knew he didn’t have any reason to be jealous or possessive of you, but that was exactly how he was feeling. knowing you would be performing tonight, he decided to come and watch your performances. Jaehyun entered the back room, standing close to the wall in the corner where he could see you without anyone noticing. He kept his eyes glued to you when you entered. He felt a spark of jealousy seeing Chan talk to you.

"Is it that obvious I'm nervous?" you murmured gently, looking up at Chan who was already gazing at you. Chan smirked, leaning against the wall. He had one arm crossed over his chest and his legs were crossed. He was trying hard to be cool and casual, it was hard with you so close to him “Yeah. It is pretty evident.” Chan mumbled. He leaned in close to you, placing his hands on your sides and whispering. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. You always do." He comforted, hands tightening. "What if I mess our dance up?" you frowned, unsure. Chan smirked. He leaned down close to you, his eyes looking into yours. He smirked and shook his head slowly. “Impossible. There’s no way you can mess up. Because if anyone screws up. It’ll be me, just so you know.” Chan leaned in to whisper against your ear. He smirked as his hands gripped your sides a little tighter. “But if you mess up. I’m making you come home with me tonight.” You wiggled slightly in his grip, laughing nervously, thinking he was joking.

Chan was definitely not joking. He had every intent on taking you home with him tonight. His plan was to charm you so much that you wouldn’t be able to say no. Chan had a cocky smirk on his face, his arms tightening around your waist. Before you could say anything, your names were announced, your cue to come on stage. You made your way on, your breath hitching as you saw Jaehyun in the audience, not expecting him to come.  Jaehyun's eyes were glued on you, the way the spotlight hit your skin just made you shine like a bright star. He hated that Chan was by your side. He could see the two of you dancing together, and it drove him crazy, attention was on you and not the performance. Jaehyun leaned back against the wall in the back to get a better view. Chan was taking a few steps with you, his hands gripping your waist tightly. Chan whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you guys danced. Jaehyun was fuming.

You focused on the dance, not paying attention to either of the boys throughout the performance, locking eyes with Jaehyun as you finished the routine. Jaehyun smiled as you locked eyes with him. His eyes were filled with pride as you finished the dance routine with Chan. He had seen your whole performance, his body was filled with jealousy and possessiveness during every movement Chan made with you. He clapped his hands as soon as you finished the performance, a jealous smirk on his lips as he saw Chan grab your wrist. you watched as you saw him disappear before you walked off stage, slightly tense with Chan's arm still around your waist, knowing that Jaehyun would be meeting you backstage. 

Jaehyun was waiting for you outside of the backstage room. His mood was different now. Instead of being frustrated and annoyed, he was possessive and jealous. You could see a dark aura around him. He grabbed your arm firmly, pulling you away from Chan’s grasp. “Come on, sunshine. I’m taking you home.” Jaehyun growled out as he pulled you deeper into the dark hallways. "Jae-" you started, eyes wide as he gently intertwined your hands. he shut you up by covering your mouth with his hand. One hand was still holding onto yours, the other one placed over your mouth. Jaehyun dragged you deeper into the back hallways, away from anyone else. “I don’t wanna hear a word of your bullshit right now sunshine.” he murmured. He dragged you into one of the empty rooms. "Jaehyun-" you murmured, trying to get him to listen. Jaehyun slammed the door shut, locking it. Jaehyun turned you around, so your back was against the door. He pressed himself against you. With his hands gripping your arms, he pinned you against the door. “Shut up for a minute and listen to me.” Jaehyun growled. His stare was intense and his grip on your body was tight.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re playing at, staying away from me. Ignoring my texts, and my calls and dodging me every chance you get.” Jaehyun muttered, his tone was angry and harsh. He looked as if he wasn’t himself. “I don’t know what to make of your little game. But I’m not going to sit back and let you just play with my feelings and mess me around. Got it?” His frustration was palpable, tension filling the room and his anger turning you on. "Just let me explain-" you started before he shook his head, finger on your lip again. “No. Don’t say a word. You've been ignoring my calls. you've been avoiding me. And the first time I see you in TWO weeks, you’re hanging onto a damn skz frat boy.” he bit back. Jaehyun gripped your waist tightly. He was a lot angrier than you had ever seen him. He felt his temper start to overtake him when he saw Chan take your arm and lead you away. He was so jealous that he felt as if he would blow a fuse right there. “I don’t want your damn explanations. I want you. I’m done with all the games. Whatever you’re playing at, stop it right now. Stop dodging me and coming up with excuses. And that little skz brat has no business having his hands all over you.”

"And you do?" you retorted, giving him a bratty attitude to rile him up. Jaehyun glared at you. Your bratty attitude had gotten to him. The anger from earlier was rising back up within him all over again. Jaehyun was losing his cool. His fists were clenched so tightly, his nails digging into his palms. “Yes. Yes, I do. I have every damn right to have my hands on you. I want you…all to myself. But you make it damn near impossible when you keep running from me.” he groaned. "I'm not running, I-" you grumbled, pausing as you struggled to come up with a reason. “Oh really? You’re not running away? Then how come every time I call you, you’re not answering, every time I text you, you text me back two hours later and you dodge me whenever I attempt to come see you?” Jaehyun muttered. His fingers dug into your hips and held you flush against the door. His body was pressed up against you so closely, his breath hitting you right against the neck and ear. He leaned his head in to whisper, his lips pressing in so close to your skin. “Quit the bullshit right now.” he ordered, looking at you. you let out a sigh, avoiding his eyes, not bothering to argue. 

Jaehyun stared at you. It infuriated him that you wouldn’t even be making eye contact with him. The anger was building up inside of him. Jaehyun gripped you tightly, one hand twisting into your hair. His breath was quick and heavy. he lowered his head close to your lip. “Look at me.” Jaehyun murmured. His voice was low and almost dangerous. He waited with bated breath for you to follow his order.” ...I'm sorry." you murmured, looking back up at him. Jaehyun released a soft sigh when you looked up into his eyes. His eyes blazed with anger and desire. He was so possessive of you at that very moment. Jaehyuns mood shifted at once he saw your eyes look up at him. His hands dropped to your hips again, his fingers digging in tightly. “I don’t want to hear your sorry. That’s not good enough. I’ve been dying to be in your life more. To be with you more. You are so damn beautiful and yet you keep running from me. Why?” he mumbled. "I…I got scared." you whispered, breath hitching. “Scared? Of what?” Jaehyun mumbled. The anger left him as soon as you said you got scared. Jaehyun's eyes instantly softened as he noticed how scared you were. His voice went softer, his hands dropping to your waist again. “Scared of what, baby?”

Your heart jumped at the nickname, liking how it sounded from him.” ...You know Jiung, right?" you asked hesitantly. Jaehyun nodded. He knew him pretty well. He knew the type of boy he was. His eyes dimmed at the mention of him. Jaehyun's jealousy got the best of him just thinking about him and what he'd possibly done to you. “Yeah…I know him. I know what kind of guy he is too. What did he do?” he asked, his face softening and voice full of concern and genuine. "I uh…me and him dated, last year. we...we were like this at the start, all over each other. Until I found out to him, we were never really serious, and he'd just led me on, seeing other people all the time. He laughed when I'd confronted him and told me I was stupid for ever believing a frat boy could change." you opened up, nervous about his reaction.  Jaehyun's eyes darkened as your words sank in. His hands tightened on your waist, his grip starting to tighten once more. He couldn’t imagine a guy doing something so horrible as to break someone's heart. No wonder you kept him at arm’s length. Jaehyun could hear your heart pounding a mile a minute, not even notice how tight his grip on you was getting. “And you thought I’d do the same? You thought I’d play you the same way he did?” he asked, his voice low. 

“...I guess. I was scared you would, so I thought pushing you away would be better and it wasn't because, fuck, I miss you, more than I thought possible." you explained, voice cracking. Jaehyun paused. He couldn’t believe what you were saying. You kept pushing him away because you were scared that he would break your heart. He finally loosened his grip on your hips and turned you around to face him. He brushed his fingers across your cheek. “I would never, ever do that to you. It’s not in me to break your heart. I’d tear the world to shreds rather than see you hurt or sad.” Jaehyun murmured. His fingers trailed down your cheek to your nose, his touch gentle. "I know you would. And I'm sorry for avoiding you." you murmured, forehead against his. Jaehyun gently gripped your hips again. His arms wrapped around you tightly, pulling you against his chest. Jaehyun's eyes were fixated on your lips. Everything about you right now was making him crazy. “I haven’t been able to sleep just knowing there is a chance that someone out there might hurt you. Someone like that, that frat boy…he had no idea how lucky he was to have gotten a chance with you. If only I knew I would have beaten his ass to hell and back…”

you laughed gently, shaking your head. "You two were good friends, I doubt you would've-" you started before he interrupted, kissing your forehead. He chuckled. Even with his frustration over thinking about how a guy could do that to you, your laugh and dimple were still so cute to him. Jaehyun leaned down and placed his lips against your forehead, kissing it gently. He pulled back. “I’m guessing you broke up during the summer?” he murmured, brushing the hair from your face. "Yeah, just before we started the second year. just before you started annoying me." you joked, poking his chest. He smirked to himself. He took in your adorable giggle and playful side. Everything about you was so irresistible, so beautiful. Jaehyun's eyes were glued to your lips once more, his hands slowly sliding to your hips. He pulled you back against him, your bodies pressed together, His breath hit you once more as he leaned in close to your ear. “I plan on making up for all that wasted time. I’ ’m going to be the best damn boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

"Who said you were going to be my boyfriend?" you teased, eyebrows raised in amusement. Jaehyun laughed at your comment. He smirked as a low chuckle escaped his mouth. Your brattiness was something that he absolutely loved about you. He grabbed your hips, pulling you flush against him once more. His body felt so close to yours, almost like he never wanted to leave you. “Who said I wasn’t already?” He murmured. Jaehyun was so serious right now, he wanted and needed you to be his. He couldn’t stand the thought of you with anyone else, especially Chan. you giggled, leaning forward and connecting your lips in a sweet kiss. Jaehyun groaned as your lips pressed against his. Every time you made a noise, it was like a jolt of electricity going through him. Your kisses were everything he wanted. And just how much you had missed him, made him want you even more. Jaehyun was kissing you eagerly, one of his hands sliding back up to your chin. He gently tilted your head back, his eyes glazed with desire. He couldn’t get enough of you, he never could. "Kiss me harder." you murmured in between kisses, arms around his neck. Just the sound of your whisper was enough to get his blood boiling. Jaehyun couldn't believe the amount of heat you were capable of generating in him. When you whispered those words, Jaehyun felt every nerve tingling inside of him. He wanted to kiss you harder, to kiss you deeper and keep you in his arms. Every inch of his body was screaming at him to do so. So, he did just that. Jaehyun grabbed your hips firmly, lifting you up in his arms. He pressed his lips on yours once more, the force of his kisses intensifying.

This was going to be a long night. 

----

cheers filled the sports hall. you stood up, cheering loudly, his jersey on as you watched him celebrate the win with his teammates briefly before he locked eyes with you. Jaehyun looked up from the huddle and saw you standing there. His heart skipped a beat when he saw you in the crowd with his jersey on. The cheers and voices around him faded as he locked eyes with you. Your cheering put a huge smile on his face. Jaehyun quickly broke away from the team and ran over to you. “Babe! What did I say earlier? You’re my good luck charm!” Jaehyun exclaimed once he got to you. He swung you up in his arms, lifting you as high as he could. You squealed, tightening your grip on him and laughing gently. "Well done, love." you murmured, caressing his cheek. Jaehyun grinned, the crowd cheering. The noise around them faded as he locked eyes only on you. “Thanks. But it’s all because of you. You came here and it brought me good luck.” He brought you down to his height and kissed your head gently. “Let’s get out of here. I wanna spend the night alone with you.” Jaehyun muttered passionately. He was ready to leave the game and spend an entire night with you. As he brought you close to his chest, his hand gently gripped your hip. "Got a reward for you at your place." you smirked, winking cheekily at him as your lips brushed against his neck. 

Jaehyun sighed at how playful and sassy you were with him. It got to him. The way you brushed your lips right against his neck made him want to pull you into the nearest room and shut the door. But not yet. He smiled when you mentioned the reward you had for him. But you could always have something new with Jaehyun, you were his reward. “Oh. I can’t wait to find out exactly what that reward is.” Jaehyun muttered sarcastically. But all of that sarcasm suddenly disappeared when your fingers grazed his waist. "I'm leading tonight though, baby." you murmured, your voice low as you kissed his neck. he moaned at the feeling of your lips pressing against his neck. When your fingers were lightly gripping his waist, that alone drove him crazy. Jaehyun could feel your hand on his side. His hips buckling, every cell in his body wanted to pull you to the nearest room. Your smirk only drove him crazy. The cocky grin on your face was hot as hell. Jaehyun groaned softly, leaning his head in close to hear better. “You think you’re leading tonight?” he whispered playfully, his voice hoarse. "Uh huh. gonna reward my baby..." you murmured, gently biting his earlobe and hands travelling down his chest.

"Give me one taste of your nectar."

[enha-hype]

enhypen when you want to try the haunted house with them

genre : crack, humour, fluff if you squint

warnings : cursing and uhhh idk mentions of creepy stuff?

a/n : a little something for spooky season before i disappear for another month or two cuz uni is killing me🙏🏽

⁀➴ yang jungwon

cautious but definitely one of the braver ones. a tiny bit scared but not so much that he isn't able to enjoy the experience. he'd hold hands with you but would walk ahead so you won't get too frightened. would 100% laugh at one of the ghost-actors at some point, maybe when they get up close in his face to try and scare him but he just finds it funny and bursts out laughing Imao. i feel like the whole haunted house experience would be the most fun with him cuz there's a perfect mix of fear/thrill and excitement so you'd both be scream-giggling a lot and teasing each other.

·｡⋆🕸️⋆｡·˚

[other members under the cut!]

⁀➴ lee heeseung

unbothered king #1. the ghosts are highkey ashamed of themselves - how and why is he not even batting an eye at most of the jumpscares? worse still, why is he straight up judging them like sir they're just tryna do their job 😭 he initially walks a few steps ahead of you to give you a heads-up on the jumpscares and everything but when the ghosts behind you start using the opportunity to try and scare you he comes to your defence. holds you close protectively by the waist and you love it so much that even if you're not all that scared you'll pretend to be.

·｡⋆🕸️⋆｡·˚

⁀➴ park jongseong

scaredy cat but he tries so hard to pretend he's not which makes it so funny if you manage to notice - cuz he's pretty good at pretending. mans has a reputation to maintain; he is not losing face in front of you. will make you walk before him - chivalry/courtesy be damned - and he'll claim it's so that he can watch your back but of course that's not really the case. will yell random shit to distract you from the fact that he is in fact not as brave as he's portraying himself to be. will disguise his scared screams as angry ones - at one point two creepy clowns pop out simultaneously from different directions and he yells “one! at! a! time!! where are your manners?!” might use you as a shield at some point but will pass it off as him trying to protect you xD

·｡⋆🕸️⋆｡·˚

⁀➴ sim jaeyun

wbk all of 02z are scaredy cats Imao but jake's probably the worst of the lot. so of the two of you, you would definitely be the braver one. no matter how scared you may think you are, he's undoubtedly more scared than you and he doesn't even bother hiding it. would 100% let you go first and lead him if you offer to, otherwise he will just cling onto you the whole time (highkey adorable tbh). will fall multiple times and once even ends up dragging you along so you end up on top of him. you'd squeal and be a little flustered but he'd be too scared out of his wits to process it. will just lay there on the floor resigned for a few minutes like why do we have to do this.

·｡⋆🕸️⋆｡·˚

⁀➴ park sunghoon

again, another scaredy cat but a littleeee bit braver than jake. holds hands with you but squeezes so hard every time he gets startled that you're positive your hand is gonna be fractured by the end. definitely curses quite a bit. at one point you get accidentally separated and you make the mistake of sneaking up behind him to scare him and he ends up unintentionally punching you (not too hard, but still 😭💀). apologises profusely after and is so mortified but also is secretly glad that he now has an excuse to get out early under the guise of making sure you're okay (even though you insist you are).

·｡⋆🕸️⋆｡·˚

⁀➴ kim sunoo

screams A LOT (the dolphin ones) so R.I.P. to your ears. but he's also so polite to the ghosts Imao. sometimes you're so busy laughing at his reactions you don't notice the jumpscares: 1) compliments them on really good scares (“ohhh that was a really impressive one, i have to admit”) 2) whines/complains cutely when he gets too scared (“ah why are you doing this to us...”, “oh come on this is the third time you've done this!”). the actors almost feel bad but hey they gotta do what they gotta do 3) gloats when he correctly predicts something/someone will come out from somewhere (“ha! i totally saw that coming, you didn't get me this time!”)

·｡⋆🕸️⋆｡·˚

⁀➴ nishimura riki

unbothered king #2. laughs a lot and makes the actors question their career choices. it's fun with him too when he's not being a menace - he'll sometimes join the ghosts in trying to scare you bc hey this was your idea after all and also he loves the way you hide your face in his chest. if you're actually genuinely very scared then he'll stop, he's not that cruel. his replies to what the ghosts say are hilarious and almost makes them break character.

ghost 1 : this is MY house!

niki : damn bitch, you live like this?

guy covered in blood : LOOK WHAT SHE MADE ME DO!

niki : hey don't blame her, take responsibility for your actions!

[neomujinjja]

BoyNextDoor Park Dates

Pairing: bf!boynextdoor x gn!reader

Genre: fluff so much fluff

Warnings: n/a

Jaehyun 재현

you guys watch the clouds together

you point out all of the characters and shapes you see to each other

so much giggling (jaehyun is silly)

arguing over how one cloud looks like 2 different things

he is not going down without a fight

jaehyun definitely puts his arm under your head and around your shoulder, with the other arm under his own head

so comfy that he falls asleep at one point

laying your head on his chest>>>

you cover him from the sun when it gets a little brighter

(how you cover him is up to your imagination)

you end up falling asleep too

you wake up to jaehyun playing with your hair

you stretch and almost smack him (that nap was TOO good)

the both of you stay out until it’s starts to rain

he walks you home with his umbrella over the both of you

you stop to splash in puddles together

sweet kisses goodbye 💜 (but not before you send him off with a blanket or an extra hoodie of his that you stole)

rest of the members under the cut!

Sungho 성호

to start off, the both of you go biking together <3

you attempt to ride his bike, but the wheels are too big

you race each other to the park

at the park, y'all have an art date !!!!

either you paint and show each other at the end

or you switch canvases every 30 minutes

mischievously swiping a little paint on each other’s face

soft kisses to get more paint on each other

he brings an extra canvas to make something special together

he tells you to put paint on your hand and you’re like ????? until you Realize and you’re like omg ☺️☺️☺️ that’s so cute 🥰🥰

you pick each other’s fave color and place your hands next to one another’s on the canvas

you make characters out of the handprints

playing on the park equipment while you wait for the canvases to dry

you guys set the canvases in a tree for safe keeping 🤞

he takes tons of photos

and he walks you home after getting lunch together at a local cafe

Riwoo 리우

a walk in the park

it’s the perfect date for him because it’s chill yet romantic

i can see it being either early morning or late at night

you and riwoo shyly hold hands the whole time

walking slowly, savoring every moment together 🥰🥰

he picks flowers in your fave color to tuck behind your ear

okay but putting a flower behind someone’s ear is SO intimate for no reason

gently tucking your hair before he places the flowers behind your ear

staring into each other’s wide eyes and blushing

dancing and being silly along the walking trail

he’d hum music for you which slowly progresses into the two of you singing together

picking more flowers together !!!!

stopping to play at the park before he takes you home

he kisses your cheek before leaving 🥰🩷

Taesan 태산

with taesan it’s just vibes

taesan picks out the music (which you don’t mind because his music taste>>)

you share earphones 🥰

you and taesan feed the ducks that are walking around

looking at the scenery around you and talking

you guys point out little animals that remind you of each other

there's a farmer’s market nearby so you both go

taking your time and stopping when something catches your eye

taesan sticks close to your side, keeping you out of harms way and minimizing the people you bump into

he buys a little something for y'all to snack on

you guys return to the park with fruits from the market

you share them as you lazily swing

(taesan let's you eat the majority)

he plays music on the speaker he brought

you guys play on the swings, the slide, and the spinners

when the fun has to end, he walks you home

he lends you his headphones to show you more music on the way home

at your door, you give him a quick peck on the cheek before putting his headphones on his head and hugging him super tight

he blushes and melts into the hug

(it’ll have him daydreaming the whole way home)

Leehan 이한

a cute picnic date

you know the fruit bowl with gummies and cider?

y'all do that but there's a Lot of gummies

(leehan eats them all)

feeding each other the leftover gummies !!!

the sandwiches are so yummy because leehan made them

after finishing up lunch, i can definitely see him taking you to a nearby river to cool down

you guys lay by the riverbank and watch the fish swim by

he teaches you different kinds of fish that swim by

you splash each other playfully

you guys go up a hill to watch the sunset and enjoy the breeze

you stare at each other for a little because you both think that the other is the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen

i think leehan would definitely tuck your hair behind your ear and smile softly at you

you vent to him while braiding his hair

he listens carefully before giving you advice

you both watch the rest of the sunset and talk about how pretty the colors are (but he thinks you’re prettier)

you exchange a gentle kiss before packing up and walking to your house

when you arrive, he lets you take the rest of the leftovers

he squeezes you tightly and plants a kiss in your hair before going home

Woonhak 운학

if it's after school, y'all do homework together

you help each other out and sometimes share answers

if it's on the weekend, then you play basketball together

y’all play a round of HORSE

maybe 1v1, first to 10

you do not mimic his shots accurately at ALL

but even if you aren't the best player, it's okay

hak just appreciates you being there with him

he loves that you’re taking the time to learn what he enjoys doing

he might even give you some lessons

“this one’s for you!” and he actually makes it because he’s woonhak

once y'all get tired, it's off to the convenience store to get food

so many snacks on top of your favorite ramen

playfully arguing about who pays

you guys share the food, occasionally feeding each other a chip

then you go back to his house to study for the upcoming exam

when he’s done, he starts working on music

he has you sing some things for him to sample

when you guys finish up, he walks you home

when you get to your house, he makes sure to greet your parents

hugs both you and your parents before going back to his house

[jaeholic]

pairing: jeong jaehyun x reader

genre: very vague f2l, college au

warnings: suggestive, no pronouns used (inspired by this tweet)

wc: 748 :D repost from my main account!

YOU LIKE TO THINK YOU’VE ALWAYS SEEN THE BEST IN JEONG JAEHYUN.

Your first encounter with the boy was in sophomore year of high school, when you got paired up in Chemistry class as lab partners. You were absolutely clueless on how to measure each ingredient and was on the verge of panicking, but your soft-spoken partner saved the day (and your grades) by being calm throughout the experiment.

The both of you quickly became friends, falling into a pleasant routine of him helping you out in subjects you struggled with (especially Chemistry and those damned lab reports), and you helping him order what he wanted for lunch in the school cafeteria, after a year of just pointing to whatever was on the menu for the day.

Your friends were at first skeptical of the new developments - “Did you not learn anything from High School Musical, Y/N?” Johnny hissed at you at your lunch table while Yuta chuckled, trying to steal fries off Taeyong’s tray. “Stick to the status quo! Wasn’t Sharpay your favorite character?” - but they quickly warmed up to your new companion after getting to know him more, welcoming him and his equally awkward friend, Kim Jungwoo, to the group.

(One afternoon, while you and Johnny were walking home, he tells you that maybe befriending “a nerd” wasn’t that bad. You threaten to step on his new shoes before he lets up the truth - Jaehyun has given him answers to the algebra homework that he’s been stressing about for three days straight. “Don’t take advantage of him, John. He’s my friend.” He grunts in response, but only after you nudge his shoulder hard.)

The rest, they say, is history. You all enter college in the city, with only Taeyong opting to attend a different college. Despite what you heard about the horrors of higher education, it felt easy, falling into rhythm with the people you have known for years. Meeting up with Johnny and Jaehyun at their shared dorm, pulling all-nighters doing work in your shared elective classes, partnering with Jungwoo for a project and doing coffee runs with Yuta. You enjoyed the established routine, prioritizing comfort over change.

But the more you wished for things to stay the same, the more Jaehyun went in the opposite direction. (Rather, you were being overdramatic.) Your summer break for freshman year is almost over and you haven’t heard from him yet, which is a stark contrast to the boy that was always the first to reply in your group chat. He only kept in contact with Johnny, and when you bugged the giant for updates, he would just shrug and reply ominously with a “You’ll see.”

Which leads you to this exact moment.

Your legs wrapped around Jaehyun’s waist on his bed as he roamed his fingers through your hair, meeting your lips in a searing kiss, arms tugging him closer to minimize any amount of distance between the two of you.

Gone was the bowl cut, thick-rimmed glasses, and striped polo t-shirts of the Jaehyun you had befriended back in high school. Replacing him was a man you barely recognized - in a short haircut with a middle part that complemented his features, exchanging his glasses for contacts and his polo shirts burned somewhere for all you care because the black t-shirt he currently had on suited him well.

(“I had an existential crisis,” he was telling you earlier, showing you pictures of his vacation and his transition from Evan Hansen understudy to Hottest Human Being Alive. “I didn’t want to be the nerd friend anymore.” You hummed in response, staring not-so subtly at his face. Once he realizes where your attention was, he laughs before leaning in closer to you. “Do you think I’m cute?” You nod, and reply, "I always thought you were." Somehow your brain reaches a conclusion to close the gap and just kiss him. He reciprocates almost immediately.)

“Waited so long for this,” he mumbles into your skin in between kissing and sucking on your neck. You don’t care about the marks appearing later as you decidedly agree with him, trailing your hand over his well-defined body. He moans softly, which gives you the courage to roam lower, lower, hand lightly brushing over his crotch.

He grabs your wrist harshly, his eyes darkening when you look at him with faux innocence. “You’re going to regret that.” He flips you around onto his bed, with him now on top of you.

It was going to be a long night.

[midnightstay-blog]

🌘K-pop stories Masterlist 🌒

Fluff 🌙 | Angst🌖| Romance🌹| Gender neutral idol ⚡️| Gender neutral reader 🌓| Male reader 💙| Female reader 🩵|

Scenario✨||Dystopian 🌑| Alternate Universe 🌕| Cliffhanger☄️ | Request 💫

The numbers are from the prompt list which you can find here.

Groups:

Ateez

Blackpink

Bts

Professor min- Min Yoongi x female oc |🌕🌙🌹

Nct

Once in a lifetime-Kun x female reader | 🌕🩵🌙🌹☄️

Got7

Stranger from that night - Jackson |🌹✨☄️

Rain & Wounds- Jackson (6+21+38) | 💫🌹🌙🌓✨

Seventeen

Sick days- Jeonghan ( 10+36) |💫🌙🌓✨

We could be more- Vernon| (13+31+39)💫🌙🌓🌖✨

Muse - Dk ( 6+9) | 💫🌙🌕✨💙

Forever Without You- S.coups |🌖☄️🌕🩵🌙✨

Straykids

Waiting for us to- Chan x female reader | 🌹🌕☄️✨

Warped reality - Chan x female oc |🌕🌙🌖

Kard

Soloist

None yet

Gender Neutral (idol)

None Yet

Music playlist

Forever without you

Professor min

Warped reality

Request are: open

[wordsbeyondimagination]

I accept requests for NCT fanfics. I used to write only fluffs, but now I want to take up a challenge and write every genre.

You can ask me in any way, and I will write it in my best way.

[haocovr]

I love Jaehyun so much 😕🙁

home run!

fluff ☁︎

no warnings!

boyfriend!jaehyun x gn!reader

{4:30pm} *࿐ ⋆.ೃ࿔

you and your boyfriend!jaehyun went to a baseball game together. you really weren’t into baseball as much as jaehyun was, but you loved going to games with him regardless of you not even understanding the sport entirely, just to see the look on his face when he gets excited over it.

“y/n! y/n! did you see that??? that was a home run!!!” he points at the field down below ecstatically and turns briefly to look at you before turning his head back to the game, only to realize you were staring right at him. “y/n why aren’t you looking!!!” he double takes over to you, not wanting to take his eyes off the game.

“i am looking.” you say smiling.

“you’re looking at me!!” he talked back.

“exactly.” you giggled.

jaehyun scoffed before getting distracted again, contributing his own noise to the sea of claps and cheers, immersing himself even more into the game.

you continued to admire your boyfriend, carefully observing how his dimples dented his smiling cheeks. you loved this boy so much.

the game came to an end, with jaehyun turning to look at you in disbelief.

“y/n you should have seen that! i cant believe you weren’t even-”

“I love you.” you cut him off.

jaehyun paused for a moment. “I love you too...but that’s not the point!”

jaehyun continued to blabber on and on about what was so great about whatever you missed.

sure, you didn’t pay attention and missed it, but you really couldn’t care less.

because jaehyun was more of a score than any home run.

thx for reading !!!

-🍉

[1ntaks]

when you ask to cuddle ☆ (boynextdoor) boynextdoor (ot6) x gender neutral reader not proofread fluff

sungho . . . thinks there’s a deeper reason and asks what’s bothering you - he’s used to taking the lead in planning dates and time together, especially since his schedule is more hectic, and you don’t often directly express this desire for closeness. so to ask to cuddle… surely something’s wrong (you just miss him and he can’t stop his smile when you say that). he’s touched, hiding his flushed cheeks by getting you water and making the bed or couch more comfortable. he’ll settle once he feels satisfied he’s gotten anything you could want and opens his arms to you, breath hitching when you nuzzle into his neck and rest your head on his shoulders with a happy hum. honestly, he’s a little stiff until he gets tired, which is when he curls into and around you. often ends with you two asleep and he always wakes up with a crick in his neck. he’ll never complain.

riwoo . . . isn’t huge on it but will do just about anything you ask. normally, he’s working on something even though he’s promised not to take work home, but he leaves enough room between his chair and desk for you to climb on his lab and press closer. when you actively ask to cuddle instead of just taking the silent invitation, he’ll finish what he’s working on and move somewhere more comfortable. regardless of location, his thumbs rub circles on your skin and he’ll kiss your temple occasionally.

jaehyun . . . thrives off this. he almost always is the one initiating and asking for attention just because he can’t get enough of you. so when you ask? on cloud nine. teases you until you tell him to shut up, and he quickly listens so you don’t change your mind. wraps his limbs around you tightly and keeps showing you videos or asking you about whatever thought crosses his mind. almost always lighthearted and giggly, but he’s attentive enough to be more gentle and laidback when he can tell you’re stressed or upset.

taesan . . . pretends he doesn’t like cuddling, but the second you ask (even before you pull out the pleading eyes) he’s way more into it than you. rarely initiates but whines when you try to leave his arms. more than happy to spend his whole day wrapped up in your warmth and have your fingers card through his hair. really gentle and soft, and one of the easiest ways to get him vulnerable and sweet. likes to tell you “secrets” (“hey, y/n? this is a secret so shh… but i love you”). also plays with your jewelry or clothing while listening to you talk (another “secret” he likes to share is that he loves the sound of your voice more than any other sound)

leehan . . . into it, but not super expressive about how he enjoys it too. you have to pay attention to the small curl to the corner of his lips and the softening of his eyes and brows, eyes sparkling even more than normal as you get comfortable and your voice gets quieter as the warmth of his embrace makes you sleepy. still makes you feel like his attention is focused on you, even if he has to take a phone call or do work on his laptop. his love for you radiates.

woonhak . . . whines to stop babying him or messing up his hair, but will pout if you actually stop. claims he’s the big spoon but ends up being the little spoon with his head on your chest, where he lets the sound of your heart lull him into relaxation. likes to say cheesy pick-up lines or fluster you and point out the stutter to your pulse until you start whining (and he has to kiss away your pout).

haven't written for bnd before so sorry if i'm off abt personalities a little

[4ranghaes]

Pookie, I would love to hear your take on where do you think bonedo would love to kiss you most. Also I'm going feral for your new song fic line. YOURE DOING SO WELL I GUZZLE THEM UP‼️

Yours truly, 🎬

ot6 bnd x reader [separate classifications for each]

a/n - hey pookie my luv🎬💋 thank you so much!!!!!!! i hope you enjoy✨

sungho🎀 - top of the head! [fluff, gender neutral!reader]

“y/n.”

you groaned, stretching your body out, star-fished on the bed.

“y/n,” sungho repeated, brushing your bed-hair out of your face, a slight chuckle on his face at your screwed up expression.

“hmm, what?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep.

“i need to go to practise,” he whispered, taking your hands and pulling you so you were sat up in his bed, “i’ll be back just after lunch time cause some of the others have schedules this afternoon.”

“okay,” you spoke, unable to form much more of a sentence than that as you still tried to blink yourself awake in the dark room.

“make sure you’re up before then, okay? i’ll take you out to lunch,” sungho said, laughing at you slightly as you planted your feet on the floor, standing up in front of your boyfriend. “okay?”

you nodded, rubbing your eyes before blinking fully to take in his beautiful face. a smile graced your features, “okay.”

“good,” he said, groaning as he wrapped his arms around you, finding comfort in your body, “have a good day, okay?”

“you too,” you murmured into his warm chest, “don’t work too hard.”

sungho giggled, pressing a delicate kiss right on the top of your head, nuzzling his nose in the scent of you for a few moment after, “i won’t.”

you sighed, relaxing into his arms before sungho made a final whine, rubbing your back and pressing another kiss to the very top of your head before pulling away.

“okay, the boys are waiting for me,” he said, leaning down to match your eye level as he smiled, placing two fingers under your chin, “see you later, yeah?”

you nodded, quickly getting back under the duvet as sungho walked towards the door, “lunch time.”

“lunch time!”

riwoo🦦🍡 - ear! [fluff, gender neutral!reader, use of real name]

“it’s busier than usual in here today,” you commented, looking around the small café that you and riwoo often chose to frequent. the coffee was good, and without the need to complicate the order by choosing the bean type; and the pastries were delicious, and small enough that you felt fine ordering a few to sample each time.

riwoo nodded, his lips naturally pouted as he looked around, “i suppose it’s cold these days, a lot of people come in just to warm up.”

you nodded, jokingly jeering at all the new faces, “they don’t know this place like we do.”

sanghyeok giggled, hiding his face in the back of your head, his hand lightly playing with the back of your neck. the two of you were sat next to each other on a bench facing the rest of the café, the window behind you was cold; but still protecting you from the minus temperatures outside.

“you’re right,” he conceded, with a knowing nod, “they really don’t.”

you giggled, turning to face you shy boyfriend. he smiled at you contently, “what?”

“what?!” he laughed, his face reddening.

“you’re looking at me weirdly,” you chuckled, turning back around to face the rest of the café, riwoo not taking his eyes off of you.

he leaned forward, murmuring in your ear quietly, “i love you.”

you smiled, he often did this, especially when you were in public. sanghyeok didn’t thrive off of public affection, but he always had a desire to let you know how much he loved you. you took his hand under the table, squeezing in reply.

his hot breath was hitting the shell of your ear, you could hear the mouth sounds as he smiled at your reply; before he finally kissed the shell of your ear gently - the final seal of his whispered words.

“i love you too,” you whispered as you turned to face him.

riwoo whined, turning your body back round, “stop! someone will hear you!”

jaehyun🪻🐕 - face! [fluff, fem terms used (girl, she/her pronouns), reader wears make-up]

“oh hey y/n,” taesan smiled, walking into the kitchen, pulling his headphones off as he saw you.

“hey sannie,” you greeted, watching as jaehyun waved energetically at his friend.

taesan chuckled, nodding and waving back, “hi jaehyun.”

myungjae laughed, “me and y/n are going on a picnic!”

sungho rolled his eyes from where he sat playing fifa on the floor, leehan laughing next to him, “stop telling us!”

“really?” taesan hummed, sounding uninterested.

any uninterest in his voice was not noticed by jaehyun, you’re sure, as hummed in reply to taesan, not once taking his eyes off you. finally deciding he was happy with the packing of the lunchbox, he came over to the table, placing everything into the cooler bag he’d prepared.

“are you ready to go?” he asked, glancing up at your face once again, breaking into a smile as soon as his eyes laid upon you.

you nodded, opening your mouth to reply, though before you could make any sound, myungjae’s hands were cupping your cheeks, his lips attacking any part of your face he could reach; your nose, your cheeks, your lips, your forehead.

“myungjae!” you cried, laughter escaping you as you gripped onto his arms, trying to pry him off you, “watch my make-up!”

jaehyun giggled, finally stopping his attack to rest his forehead against yours, slightly breathless. he leaned back again, hands still cupping your face as he pouted his lips, “you look so pretty, today! my girl.”

“leave her alone,” leehan laughed.

“what? i can’t tell my girl she’s pretty?!” jaehyun exclaimed, jeering at his teasing members with disappointed noises, before turning back to you with a smile, “so gorgeous. ah i got some lipstick on your– hold on—”

he used his thumb gently, swiping the smudged lipstick off your cheek before sighing contently, “okay! let’s go?”

you nodded, taking his hand, “let’s go, finally.”

“hyungs! i’m here,” woonhak announced, kicking off his shoes as he entered the dorm.

“woonhak! we’re going on a picnic!”

you laughed, placing a hand on myungjae’s face as you kissed his cheek, “they know, baby, they know.”

taesan🎸🐈‍⬛ - hands/knuckles! [fluff, gender neutral!reader]

“are you hungry, by the way?” taesan asked, taking his eyes off your phone as you were scrolling through tiktok together to look up at your face, “shall i get some snacks, or drinks?”

“hmm, i’m a bit hungry,” you murmured, slowly digging your face into his neck out of shyness.

“mm, okay! don’t worry,” he spoke cooly, bringing your intertwined hands up to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles before jumping up and walking to the kitchen and opening up a cupboard which you could see was full of both yours’ and his favourite snacks. you smiled as he looked around, calling out to see what you wanted.

“the crisps please!” you smiled, making grabby hands in his direction, “and some chocolate too.”

“okay!” he said energetically, nodding as he decided on the snacks, sauntering back over to you. he threw them on your lap before grabbing your wrist and pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand. this behaviour was such a regular occurrence from taesan, you didn’t even notice, using your other hand to grab the crisps off your lap.

“do you want to watch a movie?” you asked as you got your hand back, picking up the remote.

taesan nodded enthusiastically, remaining wordless as he tucked into his own snacks.

“what shall we watch?” you hummed, “love, rosie?!”

taesan gasped, nodding, “definitely.”

you looked at him, both of you nodding excitedly before you laughed, collapsing against his body and scrolling through the tv to turn on the film.

your body was fully laid against taesan’s, one of his arms slung over your shoulder comfortably, his legs intertwined with your own. his other hand was holding yours, playing with your fingers as his eyes didn’t leave the screen.

you shifted your body, leaving a kiss on his collar bone as you did so, taesan looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“what?”

“don’t do that,” he laughed, “it’s ticklish.”

“yeah?” you teased, moving your lips closer to his collar bone as he squirmed to get away, never letting go of your hand, “it’s ticklish, is it? yeah?”

he squealed, using his other hand to grab your face, squishing your cheeks together and your lips into a pout, “stop! y/n!”

you laughed, scrunching up your nose as he let go of your face, shaking his head and pointing to the screen. “just watch the film, idiot.”

you giggled, settling back into your cuddling position, eyes falling back on the screen, before, “dongmin-ah. can i have a drink?”

he was already readying to get up when he replied, “of course!”

he pressed a kiss to your knuckles before letting go and walking to the kitchen.

leehan🪸🐠 - lips! [fluff, gender neutral!reader]

“i’m home,” leehan spoke into your seemingly empty apartment.

“in the bedroom!” you called, placing your phone down on the bed beside you and looking to the door expectantly.

leehan smiled, just where he left you, he thought, taking his shoes off and dumping his bag before walking to the bedroom that was now often occupied by both you and him, rather than just you.

“hello darling,” he smiled, shutting the door behind him.

“donghyun-ie,” you beamed, reaching your arms up for him to come into. he did as expected, crawling up the bed until he finally collapsed onto your body, you let out a groan at the weight as you wrapped your arms around him and allowed yourself to enjoy the comfort of him. “ugh, i missed you, my baby.”

leehan smiled, resting his chin on your chest as he looked up at you. you brushed his long hair out his face, holding it back with the fake glasses resting on his nose.

“i missed you too,” he murmured, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of your hands playing with his hair, “what did you do today?”

“hmm, i showered,” you said slowly, thinking over the day of not very much while your boyfriend had completed his comeback practise, “i cleaned. i played the sims.”

leehan chuckled, burying his face in your chest and taking a deep breath, “of course. did you leave the house?”

“yep! i went grocery shopping,” you smiled, running your hands down his strong arms, “gonna make you dinner tonight. and i got wine.”

he giggled, looking up at you again, “sounds amazing, darling.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

you fell into silence, leehan’s loving gaze focused on your face as you studying his overworked body. he had bandages over most of his joints for support and bruises up his legs and arms. you traced them gently with your fingers.

“love you,” he whispered, bringing your attention to his face.

you smiled, “love you too, donghyun.”

he sighed, hoisting himself up on his arms so he was hovering over your body before leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss on your lips. when he pulled away, you were smiling up at him. he smiled back.

with a content sigh, he leaned back down, almost chasing after your lips with kiss after kiss. your hand tangled in the back of his hair, now returning to it’s natural colour after the blonde had grown out.

leehan’s hand cupped your cheek, stroking gently. finally, a last kiss was left on your lips, as he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours.

“i’m kind of hungry.”

you chuckled, nodding, “let’s cook then, hmm?”

he nodded, leaning down to press a last kiss to your lips before getting off the bed and helping you off too, “what’s for dinner then, hmm?”

woonhak🧸 - temple! [fluff, gender neutral!reader]

“ah i don’t want to!” he yelled, shaking his shoulders as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“woonhak-ah,” you laughed, “let’s just wash up now, and then we don’t have to do anything for the rest of the night! we can use it as leverage!”

woonhak looked at you with a bummed out look before nodding solemnly. “fine. stupid bets. never liked them anyway.”

you burst out laughing, beginning to haul the dirty dishes from the table to the sink, “don’t lie! you’re always the one to suggest them!”

woonhak chuckled, humming with a shrug, “maybe that’s true.”

the two of you fell into silence as you cleaned up the kitchen after the dinner shared with his members, woonhak sighing dramatically at the last stretch as he stood beside you drying dishes with a cloth.

“so close!” you cheered, looking at the last two dishes you had to clean.

woonhak’s lips were in a natural, tired pout as he nodded wordlessly. you laughed, drying your hand off and reaching up to cup his face.

“i’m okay,” he said, shrugging your touch off, “let’s keep going.”

you nodded with a smile, beginning to wash up the penultimate plate, and then the last. woonhak let out a cheer as he took the plate from you, watching you finally dry your hands.

“we did it!” he smiled, leaning forward to place the plate in the cupboard, leaving a chaste kiss on your temple as he did so.

you giggled, turning around and looping your arms around his neck, nuzzling into his body as he hugged your waist, “go and get in the shower, babe, you’re tired.”

woonhak hummed, pulling away and rubbing his eyes, “i have to win the bet tomorrow.”

“just stop making bets!” you laughed, rolling your eyes jokingly.

“nah,” woonhak smiled, shaking his head. he wrapped his arms around you from behind, the two of you shuffling out the kitchen, “go and get into bed, i’ll be in in a sec.”

“yep,” you nodded, woonhak leaving a couple short, loving kisses to your temple as he let go of your body, walking into the bathroom. “hurry up! i have to go home soon!”

woonhak whined, “why does it never go my way.”

[chriscentric]

mark lee x reader - texts.

i cant stop making these fake texts omg theyre so fun. (made haechan and jaehyun’s ver so check them out!)

cw // suggestive lol, kys kms jokes as always, gender neutral reader but two (2) feminine term and pronouns ‘pretty’ & ‘my girl’. das all but lmk if there’s anything i can improve!

masterlist

[jaelvr]

Forever only

Home | NCT 127 masterlist |

Requested : yes ( by @bluedbliss )

Prompts ; 29. “i can hear your heartbeat- why is it going so fast all of a sudden?” + 33. “Let me get that for you.” + 41. “Only you can call me that.”

Pairing : best friend! Jaehyun x reader

Pronouns : you/yours

Type : fluff

Word count : 470

Warnings : mutual feelings, friends to lovers, college au, fluff, slightly ooc

Have a great day !! 

——————————

The group of you had been invited to Hana's beach house for the summer, her uncle lending it to her for the month. You'd all settled in, choosing rooms and unpacking before all of you made your way down to the pool to enjoy the nice weather. The heat had a slight impact on everyone, beaming down on them. You'd volunteered yourself to get drinks for everyone, needing a break from Mark and Haechan's constant bickering.

"Let me get that for you." he spoke softly, a hand gently resting on your waist as he reached up to grab the set of cans, thankfully not seeing your reddening cheeks. "Thank you, Jae." you murmured, eyes lingering on his arms for a second too long - not that he minded. Hana's words from the night before replayed in your head, claiming about the pink-haired boy's feelings for you. They'd been trying to get you two together forever, no one buying the claims of you two being 'just friends'.

He grinned softly, gently ruffling your hair as he hummed. He helped you carry them out, helping to hand them all out to everyone. Your friends looked over at you with a smirk imprinted on their faces, causing you to roll your eyes at them. This was going to be a long day.

------

The air had gotten colder as the day went on, and the group of you sat around the campfire, toasting marshmallows and joking around. Your shivers were stopped quickly as Jaehyun pulled you into his side, wrapping the other half of his blanket around you. "Can't have you being cold now." he teased softly, grinning playfully at you. There was no way you were going to argue with him, feeling warmer immediately. He gently pulled you closer, your head resting on his chest, his hand occasionally caressing the back of your head. “I can hear your heartbeat- why is it going so fast all of a sudden?” you asked, a small smile on your face as you looked up.

Jaehyun's ears reddened almost instantly at your words, cheeks pink as he cleared his throat. "I uh...I don't know what you're talking about." he laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. He'd never been secretive of his feelings towards you (hence how the rest of the group had figured it out) but you'd never acknowledged the small signs, his cheeks heating up at the thought. He flashed his eye smile at you, earning a giggle from you as you shook your head. "Alright, dimples. Sure." you mumbled in response, head on his shoulder as you kissed his cheek. “Only you can call me that.” he responded, kissing your forehead as he ignored the knowing looks shared between your friends.

Maybe this trip wouldn't be so boring after all.

[0310s]

wiping something off their lips (leehan ver.) 𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

members: boynextdoor legal line x gender neutral reader

genre: college! au, fluff, friends to lovers, they have a crush on u waaah >_<!!!, a little angst, leehan cries ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა but it’ll be ok i promise!!!

wc: 3.3k

a/n: something came over me and i had to write this immediately. leehan is so dear to me! let me know your thoughts <3

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

Leehan is neat eater #2 (Neat eater #1: Sungho). While he’s not as conscious as Sungho, he’s just the type that doesn’t make a mess because he’s a slow eater. But seeing you baby Jaehyun all the time makes him want you to do the same for him. 

You’re hanging out with both Leehan and Jaehyun at a diner, with you and Jaehyun seated beside each other and Leehan opposite you both. While Leehan leisurely chews on his fries, Jaehyun’s devouring his burger so eagerly it’s worrying. He gets sauce all over his lips in the process. You’re trying to stifle your laugh at his enthusiasm but ultimately fail to keep it in—your cute giggles make Leehan’s heart beat faster, although he can’t figure out why that exactly is. Still, he stores this memory of your laugh away in his mind, just like he’s mentally catalogued bits and pieces of your personality and interests over the course of your friendship—in a totally platonic manner, of course. If you could consider having an entire library in his brain of everything about you platonic.

Moreover, Leehan’s never thought himself to be a possessive person, but when you poke Jaehyun and start dabbing at his lips with a tissue once he faces you, he feels a smidge resentful at how Jaehyun just lets you go all up in his personal space. You’re both laughing now as Jaehyun jokingly bats away your attempts to baby him; still, you persist and finally remove all the sauce off his mouth. To onlookers, you and Jaehyun must probably look like a couple, while Leehan is just your friend that’s tagged along for the ride. Was it normal to be jealous as a friend? He doesn’t know. 

“Leehan, what’s going on in your head? You got all quiet of a sudden,” Jaehyun calls him. You’re looking at him worriedly too, and Leehan secretly relishes in your attention, feeling like a little schoolboy being patted on the head by his favorite teacher.

He stares at the condensation forming on his glass of cold water, watches the droplets slide down to the surface of the table, and forces himself to take a steady breath. “It’s nothing,” he promises. “Just spacing out. What were we talking about?”

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆ 

The week later, you and Leehan spend the afternoon at the same diner. Jaehyun gets called to take an emergency shift at the convenience store, so it’s just the two of you now. You enter the booth first, and as Leehan moves to take the opposite seat, you tug at his jacket and happily pat at the empty space beside you. Hiding a shy smile, he slides in beside you. You then recite your orders to the waiter; you opt for a cheeseburger and fries, while Leehan’s in the mood for a milkshake. You eye Leehan’s choice of meal in trepidation, and right before the waiter leaves, you order another cheeseburger. “A milkshake isn’t lunch, Leehan. And I know you’re going to get hungry later—you always do. So eat this burger, alright?”

“Alright,” Leehan replies, head lowered to conceal how the corners of his lips curve up. He has no idea why the simple act of you ordering food for him has him flustered like this. Even as you gently reprimand him, he feels babied… in a good way? Like someone pays attention to him and cares enough to look after him. He likes when it’s you who does this out of everyone else.

You make small talk while the food is being prepared, and Leehan basks in your presence and energy. He’s always felt at ease with you, hasn’t he? You let him share marine life facts for hours on end without expressing any sort of annoyance, and he knows you’re listening by the way you chime in to clarify things he’s said or to ask questions of your own. When he shares his hobbies and interests with you, you’re there to support him. When he makes silly jokes, you always match his humor. And he gets a fluttery feeling in his heart when you rely on him too—every time you open up to him about what makes you happy, excited, scared, or sad, he feels content to intimately know another part of you. Leehan wants to know everything about you, no matter how long that takes. Maybe he just wants to be closer to you… as a best friend? Is he feeling all these things for you because he wants to be your closest friend?

He’s snapped out of his reverie when the server arrives with your food. “Eat,” you instruct, as you push the extra cheeseburger towards him. Leehan obediently takes a bite of his burger, following it up with a sip of his milkshake. Some of the whipped cream decorating the drink gets on his lips, but he doesn’t care because of the sheer joy he feels being seated beside you. So when Leehan’s in the middle of narrating a video about deep sea exploration discoveries, you interrupt him with a thumb to his lips. He trails off in stunned silence as you swipe once at his bottom lip. It’s only a couple of seconds, but it feels like eternity to him as he takes in your focused eyes, soft cheeks, and pouty mouth. 

When you turn back to your food like nothing’s happened, Leehan can feel his ears heat up, and he’s never been more grateful that he’s kept his hair this long. Clearing his throat, he takes another bite of his burger. As you talk and he eats, a plan formulates itself in Leehan’s brain. He wants all your attention on him again, wants your soft and gentle touch—but how can he do that without making it too obvious?

When he looks down at his drink, he’s found the answer.

The next time you glance at Leehan, he’s got whipped cream on his lips once again. You don’t think he knows because he’s continued recounting the details of the deep sea documentary to you and how the researchers managed to collect information from such depths. Laughing under your breath, you rub at the corner of his mouth again. Leehan stills when you do so, thanks you kindly, then proceeds to elaborate on the new species these scientists have identified. 

Over the next hour you spend in the diner, Leehan manages to get cream on his lips for a total of five more times. You don’t mind at all because you find it really adorable, given he’s rarely clumsy like this; you also love doting on him. The tiny smiles he sends your way when you wipe off the messes warms your heart even more. You’ve always found Leehan cute. Of course you can find your friends cute, no big deal. Right?

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆ 

When your friend group finally has the time to meet up after weeks of conflicting schedules, you find yourselves at your regular hangout place once again for dinner: the diner. You’re escorted to one of the bigger booths, where a singular, long leather bench winds around a large table. Here, you’re squeezed in between Leehan and Jaehyun. Jaehyun and Woonhak are loudly complaining about their final requirements, while Taesan and Riwoo speak in measured tones about their plans for the semestral break. You zone in on Jaehyun and Woonhak’s conversation, drawn in by their energetic storytelling.

When your food is served, Leehan is handed a burger he didn’t ask for. You’ve ordered him a cheeseburger again. You know him too well—he’s only gotten the same milkshake as the last time you two were here together. Still, as Leehan’s about to thank you, he finds that your back is angled away from him. You’re in the middle of a lengthy conversation with Jaehyun, whose loud and grating laughter bothers him. Then he pouts, silently sulking because he doesn’t have your undivided attention. Haven’t you guys been talking for ten minutes straight already? Have you forgotten he’s right beside you?

He thinks he’s concealed his emotions perfectly but fails to catch how Taesan and Riwoo share a knowing look at the spectacle in front of them. They’re both shaking their heads at their friend’s obliviousness. But all Leehan’s focused on is bringing (y/n)’s focus back on him. “(Y/n),” Leehan calls from beside you and taps your shoulder. “(Y/n).” 

“Yeah, what’s up?” you question. When you turn back, Leehan’s got cream on his lips again. He’s quietly waiting for you to wipe it off, and it makes you a little (just a little!!!) pleased that he waited for you especially to help him out. “Oh! Come here, Leehan.” 

“They’re both idiots,” Taesan sighs into Riwoo’s ear as you dab at Leehan’s lips with a tissue, both of you in your own little world. Leehan’s watching you fondly, while your own cheeks are red with shyness. Riwoo can’t agree more. When you finish wiping Leehan’s mouth and return to your conversation with Jaehyun, Leehan subtly pumps his fist at how he was effective in making you notice him—

Then finds his friends staring right at him. Taesan and Riwoo look like they’re about to burst into laughter. He freezes, cheeks burning red as he gets caught in this admittedly juvenile act. Taesan’s about to open his mouth when Leehan shakes his head. Please don’t, he mouths. Taesan shrugs and mouths back, Are you confessing anytime soon? Which—well—what exactly does he mean by that? Confessing? Romantic feelings? Him? To you? What? Taesan? What?

Leehan’s existential crisis is clear to the two of them as his eyes are blown wide open, the wheels visibly turning in his head as he comes to a realization. Understanding dawns upon Riwoo, who nudges his friend beside him. “Taesan… I don’t think he knows he has a crush on them.”

“Yeah, I’m just registering that now,” Taesan hisses back, highly entertained by all this, but also wondering what Leehan’s next move will be. 

You’re oblivious to all this happening in the background, still absorbed in your conversation with Jaehyun and Woonhak about your busy schedules. Like always, Jaehyun makes a mess of himself as he drops a piece of juicy burger meat on his shirt. “Nooo, my favorite shirt!” he wails, and of course, you—kind, lovely, beautiful you—come to the rescue. Leehan sullenly glowers as you wet some tissue and pat at Jaehyun’s chest repeatedly. You’re so close to Jaehyun you could already be hugging. And Woonhak, who’s glancing back and forth at the three of you, finally reads the room and goes silent. Locking eyes with both Taesan and Riwoo, he mouths, What the heck, and the two respond with matching shrugs. 

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆ 

“(Y/n), can we talk?” Leehan catches up to you as you exit the diner. The rest of the group have gone their own ways, citing their needs to catch up on homework and sleep. Woonhak, Taesan, and Riwoo drag Jaehyun away with them despite his incessant complaints of wanting to hang out with you more. Weird, you think, but nothing too worrisome, I hope.

“Sure! What’s going on?” Leehan seems troubled with the way he hesitantly makes his way over to your side as you both sit down on the benches outside the diner. There’s a considerable amount of space between you two—around two or three more people could fit. Which is odd—Leehan seemed so comfortable earlier, even as your shoulders incidentally brushed against each other in the diner.

“I…” Leehan starts but trails off. He seems unsure of himself, so you urge him to take his time. You have no idea what this is about, but you’re definitely worried. You’ve never seen Leehan this uneasy.

In the end, Leehan seems to be unable to muster up the courage to open up to you about his problem. “Nevermind,” he sighs. “It’s not that important…”

At this exact moment, your phone rings. “Sorry, give me a moment.” You hold a finger up, checking your phone. It’s Taesan—maybe he’s forgotten to tell you something, or maybe he’s left something at the diner? You hit answer. “Taesan?” You don’t catch sight of Leehan’s face paling at the mention of your friend’s name. 

“(Y/n), think about it. Do you think Leehan’s really that messy?—” Taesan manages to yell into the phone before it’s snatched up by Leehan, who swiftly ends the call. He’s not looking at you, but you spot his hands slightly tremble. What did Taesan mean by that? 

“What… What did Taesan say?” Leehan pries in a very small voice, at contrast with his hand grasping at your phone so tightly that his knuckles are becoming a ghastly shade of white.

You want your phone back first. “Leehan, my phone, please?” 

“Oh. Sorry.” Leehan passes it back to you, and his hands fist at his pants instead, tightening then letting go, almost like a pattern to soothe himself. 

“Well, Taesan told me to think about you being messy, which I don’t really get…?” You begin, trying to process the last two minutes or so. “What did he mean by that? You, messy?” You wrack your brain for an explanation—then you suddenly recall the other week you two met, when you wiped whipped cream off Leehan’s mouth multiple times. And just awhile ago, when Leehan waited for you to clean him up.

You have an inkling as to what this is about, but you want to really, really make sure it’s not just a product of your wishful thinking. “I could be wrong, but is Taesan talking about when you had whipped cream on your lips awhile ago?”

“Um… It’s nothing, really.” Leehan’s withdrawn into himself. It seems like he’s not going to give the acknowlegement you want, but you badly need to know the truth for the sake of your sanity. Like a godsend, your phone screen flashes with Taesan’s name again, and you answer as fast as you can, shielding yourself from Leehan’s attempts to steal your device. As you both struggle on the bench, you accidentally hit speakerphone —

“He put that cream on his lips on purpose while you weren’t looking!” Taesan’s voice rings out, then he hangs up. Then, you slowly glimpse at Leehan from your entangled position; his arms cage you on both sides of your head as he shadows you, your fronts almost pressing together if not for the hands you have clutched around your phone. You get to witness in real time how his face reddens in shame. His throat bobs and your eyes unconsciously follow the line of his neck to where his collarbones disappear under his shirt. 

Wait, you can’t afford to be distracted right now! “Leehan? What Taesan said… is that true? For today and last time?”

After a moment of silence, Leehan nods, letting out a shaky exhale, and you can feel his warm breath on your mouth. Upon realizing how close you both are, he quickly leans back and faces straight ahead, obstructing your gaze by placing an arm over his face. Despite that, his bright red cheeks are evident. You can feel your cheeks burn similarly as you process the implications of his actions.

“So, let me get this right. You intentionally put whipped cream on your li-lips so I could wipe it off you? Because you…?”

“Don’t make me say it… I’m really embarrassed now,” Leehan whines from behind his arm. “You already know what it means.”

You don’t care—you want to hear it straight from him. “No, tell me, I really don’t know,” you insist, yanking his arm down and smushing his cheeks in your palms so he can’t look anywhere except at you. Leehan’s eyes are wide and pitiful, but even as your heart clenches in guilt for what you’re putting him through, you force yourself to stay strong.

After a moment of silence as Leehan figures he can’t escape from your grasp, he starts speaking. “At-At first, I thought I just wanted us to be closer friends… But today made me understand that I-I actually want more than that with. With you.” Your heart pounds in your chest as Leehan finally admits, “I… like you. As more than a friend.” The more Leehan speaks, the more realization starts to dawn on you about your own feelings towards him. Then he starts sniffling, tears forming in his pretty doe eyes, and your heart drops to your stomach. 

“No, no, baby, why are you crying?” You feel like the worst person ever to exist as tears fall down Leehan’s face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” You wrap your arms around him, and he clutches at your shirt as his little sobs resume, his face tucked into your shoulder. You just hold him and apologize a thousand times as his cries subside. Eventually, he peeks up at you, eyes still watery, and you guiltily wipe the stray tears that make their way down his pretty face—of course he’s breathtaking, even when he cries. “I’m sorry, Leehan, I’m a terrible person for making you confess even when you didn’t want to.”

“Not your fault,” Leehan mumbles, “Wanted to be honest with you. Just didn’t expect to tell you this soon. I feel… overwhelmed.”

“This soon? Overwhelmed?”

At this, Leehan lets out a little sigh. “Just found out about my feelings at the diner. I thought they were platonic, but when I really thought about why I was so desperate to get your attention… it was because I wished you would look at me like that all the time and I wanted to be your priority. Romantically. But now looking back at how I tried to get your attention, I just feel like an immature kid now,” he laughs self-deprecatingly. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You probably don’t even want that from me…”

Before you can even say anything, Leehan seems to steel himself, disentangling himself from you and looking at you directly. “I like you, but I don’t want us to be awkward now that you know… I can keep my distance until you decide whether you want us to still be friends or not. I want to remain friends, but if you’re uncomfortable with that, just let me know… I promise I’ll step back.” Seeing how considerate Leehan is of your feelings sends a pang of affection through you, and you muster up the courage to be honest yourself.

“Leehan… While you were telling me about all this, I may have just realized that… I like you too. Romantically,” you add, seeing Leehan’s expression change from one of shock into one of tentative hope. “I thought I cared for you as a friend, but it made me happy when you relied on me. I don’t know if it’s selfish of me, but I wanted myself to be the first person you asked for help from. So everytime you wanted me to wipe your lips, it honestly made me really giddy. But Leehan, you don’t have to do that to get my attention… you’ve already had it ever since. And always,” you finish, your cheeks turning an impressive scarlet at your own bold declaration.

Leehan eyes are sparkling right now, and you almost melt (in a good way, the one that makes your insides feel all gooey) from the weight of his attention. “...Really?” he presses. You nod. “Really really?” You nod again. “Really really really? You’re sure? No takebacks?” His thinly veiled enthusiasm makes you giggle, and you agree for the third time.

“Yes, Leehan, I’m sure.” This time, your heart beats rapidly not out of anxiety, but of anticipation. “So… I hope it’s not too early for me to ask, but… do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes, yes, I’m yours,” Leehan beams so hard his eyes turn into little crescents and his dimples start showing. “You’re mine too, right?”

“I am.”

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

taglist: @kirbyyluvs

[neomujinjja]

Our love is magnetic

Pairing: Myung Jaehyun x reader

Length: 487 words Genre: fluff, soulmate au, first meeting

Warnings: first meeting, airplane setting, live at first sight type shit, 3rd person pov, song lyrics in fic, mentions of lots of eye contact, strangers holding hands, onedoor reference (as wonder)

Synopsis: At the last minute, your friend drops out of y'all's two week trip. Which means you'll be spending your vacation in Europe with a stranger. You're dreading how awkward the next 14 days are going to be. But this trip with a cousin of a friend might surprise both of you.

Note: another one i was sitting on for a good minute (like since this album drop; long enough for them (both groups funnily enough 😂) to have a comeback 😬). just writersblock and no time at its finest, but soulmate myungjae is officially done. really hope fellow onedoors love it like i do

── ⋆⋅ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ⋅⋆ ──

I see it in your eyes - electric

'25 B, 25 B, 25 B' Y/N repeated in their head, looking for the number as they went down the aisle. While their seat was most likely at the back of the plane, it was a force of habit. Y/N grinned as the plaque displayed that very number before then, settling into their seat. Luckily, Wonder's cousin was already in his seat so Y/N wouldn't have to stand up again until after takeoff. They turned to the distracted male, taking in his side profile before speaking. "You must Jaehyun; I'm Y/N, Wonder's friend."

Jaehyun abruptly turned his head at the sentence; the two of them made eye contact as he did. Y/N's breath hitched as the feeling of electricity passed through their body. "Yeah, nice to meet you," Jaehyun said, his words coming out airy like his breath had been caught.

Pulse is racing, love runnin through our veins

Y/N's heart was beating at top speed, it would be a reason for concern if the flight staff could hear it. But that wasn't any of their concern, the situation had both parties on a high. Neither of them had felt such emotions for a stranger like this before, but that was to be expected with their soulmate connection. The same as how they couldn't bear breaking their established eye contact. Beeping of the intercom broke the tension, the duo finally looking away from each other as a flight attendant began talking about the safety procedures. Y/N was unable to fully pay attention, instead sneaking glances over at the man next to them. They couldn't resist the magnetic pull they were experiencing with Jaehyun.

Pushin me like Superconductor, I'm pullin you like Superconductor now

Their pinkies converged, hooking onto one another, over the shared console. The pull of their new connection was powerful, despite the soulmates avoiding direct eye contact now. But that didn't stop them from stealing glances at one another; new emotions and curiosity also played a hand. Y/N froze, cheeks heating up, as Jaehyun caught them peeking. Jaehyun smiled unabashed, intertwining Y/N's hand with his while staring into their eyes. They wondered if he'd be the same in a long-term relationship; delicate, affectionate, and confident like he acted now.

"Jae?.." Y/N watched as said male gained a blush on his face at the nickname. The casualness of it resulting in Jaehyun being left speechless. He opted for a hum in response and a head tilt that reminded Y/N of a puppy. "How do we do this?" Y/N looked down to where their hands laid on the console together.

His thumb lightly rubbed the back of their hand as Jaehyun reinforced eye contact. "Slowly," he said with a reassuring smile. Y/N gently squeezed his hand as they nodded and smiled back in agreement.

"I'd like that."

[gluion]

finger trapped (ripped to its seams) ➵ myung jaehyun

myung jaehyun x reader

with an unexpected reunion, you and jaehyun relive the memories of cheongju—and confront what could’ve been between you two.

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to almost lovers, angst, fluff, gender neutral reader, some depressive and insecure thoughts, hurt/comfort, the last five years story-telling method (aka present will be told going backwards while past will be told moving forward… i hope that makes sense), brief mention of blood from picking on your skin, tiger parents so… parental issues, both of you come from cheongju for the sake of the story, unexpected reunion, keeping secrets & lying, jealousy remains but love triumphs, journalist reader (u kno i had to do it), reader is a nerd and jaehyun is a student-athlete, kms jokes from jongseob (all /lh), finger traps aren’t efficient after all

word count ➵ 15.7k words

playlist ➵ end of beginning by djo // high school in jakarta by niki // i know it won’t work by gracie abrams // no big deal (i love you) by dodie // keeping tabs by niki // no one knows by stephen sanchez & laufey // so what now by reneé rapp // i wish i hated you by ariana grande // the 1 by taylor swift // seasons by wave to earth

a/n ➵ it's finally out! this work is so so personal to me on so many levels so i hope you all love and treat this fic with care :')) for the bitches who struggle with parents and dreams.... this one's for you (i am in the same boat) i appreciate everyone who's been so patient and looking forward to this fic's release. you can access the changmin & hanbin vers as well! please do reblog and leave feedback!!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

present -> three weeks after the interview, 2024

the newsroom never sleeps. the rings of landlines and clacks of keyboards bounce off the four walls. through light bulbs or sunshine, light continues to remain. and at every corner, a journalist stands—ready to enter the depths of slumber but remain on their toes as they await for an update on their unraveling story.

but the newsroom is rarely busy unless there’s a major nationwide event, election season or the super bowl to name a few, for most journalists are out to discover what the world has to offer.

knowledge doesn’t only come from the chitchat of your coworkers. it’s only on the field that you’ll hear of hearsay and testimonies. after all, the choice to probe rests on your shoulders.

“there’s a typo over there.”

“huh? where?”

“over here,” you mumble as your finger darts to point at a section on the screen. “it’s supposed to say “with their climactic performance,” not climatic.”

“ah, i see it now. sorry about that,” lee jihoon of digital development says as he corrects the error. his hair is disheveled from the hood that once perched on his head during the night he spent in the newsroom. you would’ve scolded the guy—go home and take a shower before you stink up the place—but you are no better, grouped with the other journalists who stayed up in the office.

“there we go. should be all good. now, are you ready to go through the profiles?”

an exhausted chuckle departs from your lips. “yeah, let’s go—”

“what’s the update?” life and arts editor kim namjoon—your editor—comes to you with a smile.

the grey hoodie he wears paired with comfortable jeans shows that he’s a little relaxed. for once, you don’t see him on his phone, battling the deadlines or getting pitched stories by the other editors. it’s a nice sight but one that won’t last for long.  

“we just finished going through the article about the group, so we still have yet to go through the profiles.” jihoon then looks at you. “i can’t believe you basically wrote seven articles. like, six profiles and one main article is a lot. you didn’t want to work on it with anyone else?”

once namjoon stands beside you, you bump your shoulder against his figure. “i didn’t have a choice, did i?” it’s a rhetorical question but one your editor still chooses to answer.

“unfortunately, we’re understaffed, but it seemed like you got the hang of it. i wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do it.” namjoon shoots you a smile before redirecting his attention back to jihoon. “and as much as i’d love to tell y/n more, we have to pick up the pace.” without any further questions, the three of you resume with work. 

there’s no time to waste in the journalism industry. still, his praise doesn’t go unnoticed. 

one article turned into eight done in a matter of 30 minutes, all with the help of three pairs of eyes to go through them. (namjoon seemed to carry the heavy lifting. after all, the guy was trained to be quick in reading and spotting errors.)

it should’ve been easy to keep up with your editor for all the other articles; you know each profile like the back of your hand.

then, the face of a boy who you once knew sits on the screen.

his gaze seems to pierce through your soul, almost in the same way you last talked to him. the loose ends of composure slip through your fingers; your breath’s stuck in your throat as the hammering of your heart fills your ears. yet, he stands still on the monitor.

as your eyes drift through the passages you’ve written, every sound is drowned out. the voice of your editor fades like the everchanging seasons and the clicks of the keyboard resemble the sobs you let out in the comfort of your childhood room.

and suddenly, the hands of the clock have turned all the way back to 2019. the cubicles transformed into aisles of chips and instant ramen, and you hear mr. kim’s voice in the distance—i have some hotteok! fresh from the pan! but amidst it all, you hear the giggles of the boy, your best friend, as he rushes towards you—i’ll go audition and make you proud. as your arm is wrapped with the heat of his fingers, you almost believe that your life as a journalist is nothing but a dream—

“i knew him.” the illusion disappears within a blink of an eye. namjoon’s eyes snap towards you and jihoon stops scrolling through the website. “we went to the same high school.”

you aren’t sure why you revealed that to your coworkers, let alone your boss. it’s an old memory—your weight to carry. before you can apologize for disrupting their work, namjoon’s hand rests on your shoulder, his thumb drawing shapes into it. when you look over at him, you’re greeted by his smile. it resembles your bed after a long day of work or a slow day at the newsroom.

but it never lives up to him, whose giggles resemble nature’s symphonies. the two shots of espresso you need at the start of the day once came in the form of his warm embrace. most of all, his smile is enough to illuminate the world even through the strongest storms and times when power went out.

for the remaining articles, not a single word leaves you. before you know it, all seven articles were ready to go up on the web.

“that’s all of it. should i still schedule them to go up around 12 p.m.?” jihoon notes as he saves the drafts.

“yeah, 12 p.m. still sounds good. thanks a lot.” namjoon nudges his shoulder before looking over to you. “let’s talk in my office.”

you don’t question his orders. once namjoon takes off, you follow him all the way to his office. as he swings the door open, you are met with the familiar sight of his workspace. hues of green and brown mix, where nature and art meet within the space of corporate.

once namjoon takes a seat on his chair, you find your spot across from him. his eyes stare off to the window. for a moment, you’re not sure what to expect from this impromptu meeting.

seconds pass and not a single word has been said—

“this place’s always alive,” your editor breaks the silence. “don’t you think so?”

you follow his line of sight. busy seoul never changes; the skyscrapers pollute the sky and the people never sleep, off to work or off to party.

“where’d you grow up again?”

you look back at namjoon whose eyes still remain locked on the city. “cheongju.”

he hums. “i haven’t been there. nice place?”

“yeah, but i haven’t gone back in a while.”

“when was the last time?” his eyes finally meet yours.

your teeth grasp the inside of your cheek. “2019, since i first left,” you admit. 

“do you miss it?”

you’re not sure how to answer. the pavements you’ve scraped your knees against and the walls your laughs bounced off of—do you miss them all? or is the reason behind your laughter and scabs the one you long for?

“is that why you were hesitant about interviewing them?” namjoon’s thumbs fiddle with each other. “because of your history with him?”

now, you stare at your linked hands. maybe the silence from you is enough to answer his question but you know namjoon would never settle for a soundless answer.

“i—i’m not a good person. and even if i didn’t make the choice to leave, i—” you hold yourself back. your fingers start to pick on the skin around your thumbs, peeling it so blood can spill. 

“it’s okay, i understand. you don’t have to share it with me.” your eyes drift back to namjoon, spotting a small smile that rests on his face. “it must’ve been hard to relive it all.”

the bond you have with namjoon is one that you hold close to your heart. through his mentorship, you got to learn about what it means to be a writer. the fears of being a journalist would loom over you, where questions of salary and demanding work hours would occupy your mind, but namjoon became someone who would absolve them all. he became a pillar in your life, one that provides you hope and comfort within the industry.

“so, don’t feel pressured to talk about it. but if you ever want to open up about it, then i’ll be here.”

namjoon’s giving you an exit. are you willing to take it?

you cross your arms as you lean back into the chair. “you know how i was a science major then?”

“yeah, i remember looking over your resume. and then i saw that you were part of your university’s publication.”

your tongue pushes against the inside of your cheek. “i would’ve gotten some job in that field, like, i had it lined up for me.”

“really? like lab coat and all?”

as namjoon attempts to hold back his laugh over the image, you chuckle along. “yeah, lab coat and all! it’s crazy how my life was all set for that field, but i’m here now.” you look down at your arms. “i think just facing him in a completely different field that i once used to imagine with him was just strange. but i think hearing his answers really did it for me.”

namjoon nods at your words. “care to have lunch with me?” your eyes snap back to your editor. “i’m guessing you want to talk about it, after all.”

all you do is smile before getting off your seat.

spring of 2019

the season of spring has graced cheongju; the sun gleams in the expanse of blue and birds perched on tree branches sing their songs. it’s the perfect season to embrace the wonders of the town.

while it would be a delight to bask under the returning warmth, you’re stuck within the walls of the classroom, head resting on crossed arms. 

still, the lilacs have yet to bloom.

“y/n.” you quickly sit up before your eyes settle on your adviser, ms. jeon, who stands in front of the classroom. “let’s take attendance.”

with that, you’re beside her as you call out each name on the class list. it’s a quick process of saying your classmates’ names for them to respond in variations of “present,” until you reach the section of last names that start with an ‘m’.

“myung jaehyun.” no response.

you rip your eyes off the piece of paper, only met with your classmates who either look at each other in confusion or spaced out in their own worlds.

“myung jaehyun?” when you’re met with the same reaction, you’re ready to mark the student absent—

“sorry!” the doors slam open. a boy clad in a white polo and jogging pants is panting by the entrance, covered in sweat as he rests on the edge of it. “sorry, i’m late.”

“oh, it’s okay! you arrived just in time.” ms. jeon smiles at the tardy student. as you watch him take a seat, his eyes lock with yours, but your adviser nudges you before saying, “y/n, proceed.”  

myung jaehyun made his name a few years back at a competition. the applause and roars from the crowd marked his spot in the school. others describe his movement as of cranes, standing in the middle of a pond as they do their best to minimize forming any ripples, or of elephants, swaying their trunks with control like no other.

but he’s a versatile dancer; nothing can truly capture him.

once you’ve finished marking the attendance, you go back to your seat. you’re ready to start the day with no bother but you can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

“now, you can see in these,” your art teacher, ms. park, points to the screen showcasing works from her favorite contemporary artists like kwon yongju and félix gonzález-torres, “that there are no borders to what constitutes art. and that’s not wrong because we have to recognize that art comes in different forms as we progress, from traditional painting and sculptures to digital ones.”

this field isn't your strong suit. with a greater understanding of the sciences, you struggle to create anything that could be on par with the works of any artist. yet, you enjoyed learning about every piece that your teacher shared, like unfolding and admiring something you know you can never replicate or create. still, the universe decides that they have other plans for you.

“as i mentioned before, i’ll be giving you time to work on your final assessment, which is to create an artwork for the class exhibit. for this deliverable, i’m asking that your work will be a collaborative one, meaning you aren’t working alone.” in a sea of chatter, some groans exit your classmates. “remember, inspiration doesn’t come from your own bubble! take this as your opportunity to create something that you’ve never imagined.”

within a split second, students are off their seats as they attempt to find a partner to work with. you, however, were struggling to think of who you could team up with. admittedly, you have a very different work style compared to others—even baek jiheon, aspiring valedictorian, didn’t enjoy working with you. she turned every activity into a competition against you. (you didn’t enjoy her, either.) while you’re considering shamefully going up to your classmates like a stray dog looking for anyone willing to care for them—

“hi!” in front of you stands the tardy student of today, all smiles as his hands find comfort in the pockets of his jogging pants. “do you have a partner already?”

with furrowed eyebrows, you can’t help but look him up and down. “no, why?”

“well,” jaehyun looks around the classroom, “everyone seems to have paired up except for us.” as his eyes drift back to you, he flashes you a smile, one that shows the dips engraved into his cheeks. “which leaves me to ask if you would like to work with me for this.”

you don’t have a choice. ms. park would never bend the rules for you. if anything, she would find a way to pair you with another student who would dread the idea of working with you. (“i’m sure they won’t mind being partners with you, right?” is what she would ask the poor student, only to be met with their retreat.)

“unless we accept a failing mark, which i’m sure we both don’t want.” it’s not like jaehyun had a choice as well.

“okay.” with one word, light fills his eyes, enough to resemble the starlight that grazes your skin every night. “we can meet and discuss our schedules, especially because i’ve got ap stat, and you have, uhm,” a cough leaves you, “training, i’m assuming, or rehearsals. i don’t really know what you call them.”

his eyebrows shoot up as his mouth parts open. “o—oh, yeah. i usually have training after class until 8 p.m. on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays.”

“same. my classes are until 7 p.m. on tuesdays and thursdays, so maybe we can use the other days to work together?”

with one nod from him, his dimples reappear. “great! i’ll see you tomorrow.”

before you know it, everyone finds their way back to their seats for ms. park’s final reminders. you do your best to pay attention to every announcement, jotting down every word on your planner and planning out your agenda for the upcoming weeks. yet, your eyes seem to have a mind of their own as they drift back to the boy who discreetly passes notes to hwang intak, another dancer on the team, all while listening to the teacher.

you don’t notice how long you spend staring at jaehyun until he turns to meet your gaze. in that split second, you look at each other—then, embarrassment washes over you. you shift your attention back to ms. park. as you drum your fingers against the desk, mentally kicking yourself over the interaction, you still can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

you look back at jaehyun; he’s still looking at you.

his dimples make their reappearance before he looks back at ms. park. you do the same as you attempt to listen to her ramble about banksy’s works. 

(you’re still thinking about the dips in his cheeks.)

the first time you get to meet with jaehyun for the project happens the following week. you two had different commitments to attend to, whether it be other projects or training. and while you would usually settle to meet in the school library or a cafe nearby, you find yourself inside the empty gymnasium, sitting on bleachers while your partner stands in front of mirrors.

“don’t you think it would be nice to combine our hobbies together?”

your pencil taps against the notebook. “like, your dancing? with what?”

“whatever you like to do!” once he makes his way to you, he leans on the row in front of you with crossed arms. “i mean, do you have anything you like to do during your free time?”

a scoff leaves you. “funny of you to assume that i have free time.”

“what’s your schedule like?”

“well, i have our classes and ap ones, then kumon at night.”

jaehyun reels at the thought of your schedule. “that’s brutal. the last time i had kumon was back in grade 4.”

“yeah, but i’m sure yours is busy as well. the amount of time that you put into training is…” his eyes are wide, hanging on your words. it’s the hope they hold that has you say, “admirable.”

a shy smile takes over his features. “yeah, but it’s only because my family is supportive of what i do.”

then, limbs whose color resembles the void slither their way to your heart, wrapping around it while the organ struggles to beat; it’s a slow process but an unending hole that will birth from it. yet, you do your best to fight off these limbs, unraveling them one by one in hopes it will give up—until you settle for shaking them off.

you only muster out a hum.

“do you have anything you like to do during those short breaks?”

your lips trill. “i don’t know. watch something on youtube?”

his cheeks puff up, stuck in his thoughts as he tries to navigate this project—and you—until his eyes glint. “what do you do when you want to vent?”

“you sure have a lot of questions,” you comment, trying to hold back a chuckle at his curiosity. “i can just adjust to you. maybe attempt to draw, picture, or even film you.”

his eyebrows furrow. “but that wouldn’t make it collaborative. i want us to work on something that aligns with what we do.”

a beat passes.

he holds your gaze. “i want us to create something that shows us.”

inside you, a gong is struck; its sound reverberates throughout your body, from the crown of your forehead to the tips of your toes. then, silence seeps in—a moment only for you and him.

“i, uh, write,” you whisper as your eyes shift to the notebook resting on your lap.

“really? like, stories and poetry?”

you nod. “i like writing people’s stories more, but i do like making ones.” when you look back at jaehyun, his eyes are still filled with curiosity. “i would, like, find interviews online and try to make my own, sort of, uhm—god this is embarrassing. forget about it.”

“huh? no, it isn’t!” he attempts to reassure your shrunken figure. “i mean, you don’t have to share more if you really don’t want to, but i’d like to hear more about it.” and when his dimples appear, you almost can’t help but feel your face warm up.

“i’d make articles, i guess?” he nods along with your words. “i don’t know, it’s just interesting to hear about people’s lives and kind of create something out of it, and i like thinking about all the possibilities of who would love to hear them. like, don’t you think that some of the stories that we read hold fragments of someone?”

“that’s an interesting way to look at it.”

as you doodle on your notebook, you say, “yeah, it’s just fun to hear these stories and maybe create something out of it. or even think of stories that i could never live out, you know?” you expect yourself to be met with the bored face of jaehyun but his eyes remain on you.

“what if you interview me?”

your eyebrows shoot up. “you?”

“yeah,” he stands up before walking up to your row, finding a spot beside you. “think of me as your first interviewee if you want.”

the sudden suggestion has you stumbling over your words. “huh? b—but, i don’t have questions prepared. and how does this help our project?” 

when his arms brush against yours, you start to become aware of the distance between your shoulders—and his face from yours. warmth spreads throughout your body, almost like you’re about to have a fever. once his open hand rests near yours, you don’t know what he’s asking.

“let me draw it out for you.” you hand him your pencil and notebook, allowing him to see your doodles. (you don’t miss his grin.) “you know, with that article you make, we can cut it up and create something out of it.” a roughly drawn sketch of a boy posed in the middle of a dance move now rests on the page. “i don’t know if a collage would be okay.”

as you think about what can be done, you perch your chin on your palm. “we can do papercut art? basically, it’s cutting up the article in a way to form an image.”

“oh, that sounds cool!”

“yeah, but the only challenge is that we can only use one piece of paper.” a sigh leaves you. “it would be impossible for me to even do that.”

“that’s why you have me.” his small smile causes wind chimes to ring. (you’re positive you heard them, even if there were no such things in the gymnasium.)

he continues to sketch out the layout of your joint artwork. “how do we feel about this?” on the paper, there are two boxes beside the figure, where one is labeled as “photo of me” while the other is labeled “an article by y/n.” your head tilts. “it’ll be a three-set piece. so, it’ll be a photo of me and your article, and in between is the papercut art that we’ll make.”

you hum. “you know, you’re very creative.” you look at him only to see that he’s been staring at you. “like, you’re inclined to the arts. i wouldn’t have been able to think of something like this.”

“you’re just as creative,” he argues back as he writes down something.

you shake your head before retorting, “jaehyun, you’re very talented. i’ve seen the way you dance,” his movements halt, “and you’re like no other dancer i’ve seen. if you ever try out to be an idol, i’m sure you’d do great, maybe end up on the list of the best dancers in the industry.”

but he shakes his head, going back to writing on your notebook and shutting down your compliments. you decide to not push.

“i can get the photo sometime during my training,” he says as he hands you your notebook.

“then i can have the questions sometime this week. for the article, i can have it done maybe four days after the interview. how does wednesday, after school, sound for the interview?”

he shoots you a smile before standing up from his seat. “that’s perfect! i’m looking forward to meeting journalist y/n.” you can’t help but scoff at what he calls you. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing,” you shake your head. “it’s just a silly name.” because the reality is that you had your future planned out—and it definitely didn’t involve that field.

he shrugs. “i don’t know, i think it would fit you.”

“but you haven’t read any of my works.”

“but i want to root for you in the same way you do for me. i don’t want you to feel ashamed of your works.” a fire ignites in your heart; it’s a fireplace.

you’re baffled that jaehyun, out of all people, now holds your secret, but you’re even astounded over the idea of him supporting you. you almost can’t remember the last time you heard such words of support. is it genuine or nothing but a facade?

“anyway, i’ve got to go. i need to catch up on some homework.” while you shoot him a nod, his dimples make their appearance once more. “i’ll see you tomorrow!” as he takes off, you’re left in the gymnasium with your opened notebook and unlocked heart. you look back down at his sketch surrounded by your doodles, but you don’t miss his little note—cute doodles btw <3

the season of spring has unfolded in cheongju; a single lilac has bloomed.

present -> a day before the interview, 2024

it’s a late night on a tuesday, about to be a midnight wednesday, and you’re in a convenience store as you scout for your dinner. all hauled up in the newsroom, the idea of ordering food during a time where restaurants would still be open slipped your mind. now, you’re left to scan through the same options you’ve eaten for the past years since you started living in seoul.

the convenience clerks are familiar with you, both kim jongseob and kim jiwoo. with your constant late-night meals at the store, you’d talk to whichever one had a shift. jongseob is saving up to upgrade his setup at home to record more music. with all the stories he shares about his time in underground rap battles along with the short verses he’s performed for you, you’re positive that he’ll get signed to a label soon. as for jiwoo, this is one of the many jobs she has in order to save enough money for fashion school. you’ve seen her sketches and outfits she’s put together and you’re hoping that she’ll get accepted.

a sigh leaves you. you didn’t have a problem with eating the food here but you were craving for something new in your life in seoul. the perpetual cycle of eating takeout food and unconsciously skipping meals for work needed to be disrupted just for a moment. but you weren’t seeking michelin-star food—all you wanted was something home cooked. something from home.

the spice of tteokbokki, the burn of freshly fried hotteok, and the sweetness of homemade peach iced tea—mr. kim’s convenience store had it all.

your tastebuds long for cheongju.

“planning to beat your record of spending 23 minutes on deciding what to get?”

you roll your eyes before looking to your right, seeing jongseob stock up the drinks in the fridge. “i hate you.”

“what? i’m just saying, you’re taking a lot longer to decide today.” he chuckles before placing the last bottle of sweetened probiotic milk in the fridge. “none of the options look good to you?”

“sort of,” you hum before you scan through the aisle of packaged meals. “i think i’m craving for something different.”

“i get it. the food here can get boring, which is why i’m planning to order pizza if you want to split the costs.”

your eyebrows shoot up at jongseob’s suggestion. “really? you’d share pizza with me?”

“yeah, as long as you pay for your share.” he shoots you a smile before grabbing on a trolley carrying empty boxes. “unless… you want to pay for the whole thing.”

you bite back a smile as you shake your head. you should’ve known the guy would ask you to buy him food, but you knew that he needed the money and you at least had a stable income to keep you comfortable. “fine,” jongseob’s smile grows as you fish out your wallet from your pocket and pull out a couple of bills. “just order enough for us two.” 

“of course,” he says as soon as you hand him some money. “i’ll make sure to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”

you scoff at his joke. “just make sure to treat me to something.”

the bell by the door chimes. “sorry, can’t hear you over that! need to attend to a customer!” jongseob dashes away from you while dragging the trolley. that little shit just knew how to press your buttons, but you love the kid, anyway.

still, you stand in the middle of the mart and your heart longs for home.

then, you shut your eyes, and you’re transported back in front of the familiar aisle filled with bags of potato chips and sweet corn. the noisy fan along with the soft sounds of mr. kim’s korean drama fills your ears. a mix of yellow and orange hues paint every corner of the mart, including you—and you’re not alone.

your best friend stands on your right, wearing the unbuttoned school uniform polo over a tank top along with jogging pants. he’s lost in thought as he scans through the options of snacks you two can have for today’s afternoon. he starts to giggle to himself, probably from a silly thought he’ll share with you in the next second or a memory involving you, and the dips in his cheeks appear—your heart thumps in your ears.

and just like how quickly you were transported back to cheongju, your surroundings transformed into the cool-lit convenience store found in seoul. all you have left is the image of him bathed in the sunlight.

but he fades away like the ink on old receipts, never gone, because the glowing image of him warps into a different version who stands next to you in the cold mart. he’s grown a few inches taller and his hair doesn’t get in the way of his line of sight. while he wears a green sweater, you notice that he’s gained some muscles. his eyes scan through the aisle behind you filled with different brands of instant ramen.

but he bites the inside of his cheek and his dimples appear.

it’s a tornado that brews within you, enough to uproot trees and displace buildings, all because of an unexpected reunion with jaehyun. why did the universe decide to bring two ex-best friends on a random tuesday night? what brings him to the convenience store at the same time you’re there? and why did it have to happen a day before the interview?

you weren’t going to commit the same mistake; keep your eyes off of him and make your way out of the store. it didn’t matter if you had an empty, growling stomach, or gave free money to jongseob. you need to leave without the distant, familiar face noticing.

your feet act fast, and you're almost certain that might’ve caught his attention, but it didn’t matter as you see jongseob standing behind the cashier with his phone out. “i just ordered the pizza. it should arrive in about… 20 to 30 minutes.”

“yeah, about that…”

“don’t tell me you’re taking your money back.”

at the sight of jongseob’s pout, you roll your eyes. “no, keep it. i just—i need to go.”

“what? why?”

you peek behind you. it seems like he didn’t recognize you, after all. “i’ve got… work!”

“but don’t you only have your interview with boynext—”

“hey!” your fingers snap at him. “you cannot—i mean, you just… just take the goddamn money.”

“but we’re supposed to share the pizza. you haven’t eaten.”

an exasperated sigh leaves you. “jongseob, just treat me next time. i can eat at home.”

and you’re ready to leave the convenience store, bid farewell to jongseob and a delicious pizza made for two, and never greet or say goodbye to the living fragment of what you last know of cheongju—

“y/n?”

and the plan failed.

when you meet his gaze, you’re able to take in the different version of him. he’s grown so much—it’s such a pain that you weren’t there to witness it. his eyes are a pool of emotions; you can’t identify them.

all it takes is one breath from you. “jaehyun.”

a beat passes.

“i’m just gonna… go through the storage,” jongseob points his thumb at the back of the mart, “and maybe kill myself afterwards. i don’t know.” before you can protest, he’s already gone. (and he still has your money. that fucker.)

you and jaehyun were once painted with the hues of the sun. this reunion is tainted with blue.

jaehyun’s fingers tense up, almost as if he was hesitating—debating—on how to approach you. his body would waver, but he never took a step towards you. “i… i wasn’t expecting to meet you here.” 

“same here.” you lean your back against the checkout counter. “d—do you stay around this part of the city?”

he shakes his head. “i live around 15, maybe 20, minutes away from here. i’m only here because…” your breath gets caught in your throat. “i don’t know.”

fate. that’s what brought us here.

“do you live here?”

you nod. “yeah, ever since—” the sentence never gets completed; you and him already know.

for a moment, sorrow flashes in his eyes, but a smile shows up. the dimples don’t appear. “i, uh, i was going to get something from here but it seems like your friend is busy.”

“sorry about jongseob.” you whip out your phone and scold him through text. “he should be with us in a bit.”

jaehyun hums before walking to the freezer filled with different ice cream. as he looks through the selection, he asks, “do you still like twin bar?”

“y—yeah.”

“still the grape flavor?” you don’t know what to say, but when his gaze meets yours, you settle for a nod. with your favorite ice cream in one hand and a sandwich in the other, he finally walks towards you. you don’t miss the slight stagger in his steps.

jaehyun finds his spot beside you. there’s still distance between you two—two tiles worth, enough space for one person—but it’s enough for your muscles to freeze. thankfully, jongseob comes just in time to manage the cashier (with an awkward smile plastered on).

he scans jaehyun’s item first before grabbing onto your ice cream.

“oh, i’m paying—”

“no, let me,” jaehyun insists. “you can always treat me another time.”

you bite the inside of your cheek, thinking over the second half of his sentence. jongseob holds back from scanning the item, until you shoot him a nod. jaehyun pays for the food before jongseob hands them to you.

“i’ll just let you know when the pizza gets here.” his small smile is enough for your shoulders to ease and a quiet exhale to leave. a small nod is all you give him.

you follow jaehyun outside to the tables in front of the mart. once he’s settled on a spot, you sit across from him. he tears away the plastic wrapping of his food while you play with the ends of yours. 

while he swallows what you assume to be his dinner of the day, you’re left to swallow your own pride.

“i’ve seen your performances.” his chews halt. “you’re—” captivating. “you’ve improved a lot.”  

with one gulp, a shy smile takes over his face. “i still have a long way to go.”

“you always say that, even back then.” a half bitten sandwich now rests on the wrapper. “but i admire your drive.” always have.

while a different version of jaehyun sits across you, the one you knew back in cheongju still lives. in the busy, unfamiliar expanse of seoul, meeting five years later, he’ll never be stranger. you could never treat him as such, even if you wanted to.

“there’s always room for improvement,” he says.

you hum along with his sentiment. “did you stick with early childhood education?” you’re met with his orbs that hold a thousand of emotions, some you can name as shock, confusion. a question hangs in the air—what did you deserve to know?

“sorry, i’m assuming you still went to college, which is totally fine if you did or didn’t, by the way. and it’s also okay if you didn’t stick to your major. i mean, you always talked about pursuing a performing arts degree before—”

“y/n,” he giggles, “you’re okay. i still went to college but i took media & communication.” your eyebrows shoot up at the revelation. “i thought it made sense to study something related to what i do, just the more technical and theoretical side of it, i guess. and the online classes were easy to squeeze into my schedule.” he lifts up the sandwich. “what about you?”

“uh, i ended up in the same course as well.” a hum of shock leaves jaehyun. “yeah,” you chuckle, “i managed to shift courses.”

“that’s amazing! i’m happy for you.”

you smile at him. “thanks. now, i’m just—” you should tell him what you do. what would be a better time to reveal that you ended up in the path he dreamed for you to be than now? “—figuring things out.”

with your vagueness, jaehyun only nods before munching away. if there’s anything about you that still remains, it’s that you shouldn’t be pushed to share something you didn’t want to talk about. he still knew that.

as he finishes his sandwich, you tear off the plastic wrapping of your ice cream. with the twin bar in your hands, you snap it into two before you hand him a piece. confusion paints his features, wide eyes glossing over the popsicle in your hand, but he takes it before you can say anything.

“thanks.”

you shake your head. “don’t even worry about it. it’s only tradition.”

silence settles between you two. as you eat away on your share of the twin bar, you look up to the sky. from where you sit, you can’t see a single star; the lights of seoul seemed to outshine them. and during those moments, you almost can’t help but miss the view of the starry night from your childhood room.

you glance at jaehyun who looks up to the sky as well. yet, one hand remains in his pocket, almost as if he’s fiddling with something. 

as if he feels your eyes on him, he asks, “did you ever think about coming back?”

you halt your movements. if there’s one thing you were expecting your old friend to ask, it would be related to your sudden departure. but you’re hit with an entirely different question, one you didn’t get to rehearse the answer to in case you ever cross paths with him. 

because after all this talk about your yearning for cheongju, why didn’t you choose to visit? despite how much you long for mr. kim’s home cooked meals, skies filled with stars, or the presence of your best friend, why didn’t you ever come back?

if you miss home, why is your first instinct to run away from it?

and the reality is that you do think about it all the time. since you left cheongju, you drafted out how many plans to go back. you were homesick, missing the familiar landscape you spent your entire childhood growing up in. but most of all, you missed jaehyun. as long as you had him, you would survive anywhere, whether in seoul or cheongju.

despite how much you yearned for him during your years away, you learned that your relationship wasn’t always filled with the warmth that would grace you two every afternoon. for so long, you’ve sat with jealousy. while his family was his pillar of strength, you were met with a home that offered nothing but criticism.

the black limbs slowly ate away at your heart; the void was born.

it became easier to remain resentful. with the distance, you weren’t faced with jaehyun’s genuineness. yet, with time, you discovered that you still cared for him—regardless of your jealousy—because you still wanted more for him than you did for yourself.

for a long time, you resented. now, it’s only guilt that held you back from going back to him.

so when you remain silent, jaehyun takes it as your answer.

and for the first time, the distance feels greater since you first left cheongju.

summer of 2019

it’s the peak of summer. amidst the expanse of verdant fields, bees seek solace in the fully-bloomed sunflowers and kaleidoscope wings illuminate as they soar.

but summer is where mouths go dry and clothes cling to skin. as days blend with each other, the comfort of your bed is all you have until the season passes.

the fan rumbles against the wooden floor, doing its best to cool you, but the heat prickles against the back of your neck. the wind has turned into nothing but hot waves. with your elbows perched on the desk, a sigh leaves you as you attempt to make sense of the worksheet filled with math equations.

your room is your favorite place in cheongju. within these four walls are scattered fragments of you, from your favorite books and mangas that rest on the bookshelf to the stuffed toys that rest on your bed. book tabs stick out of your workbooks lined up on your desk and your cork board is filled with crossed out to-do lists.

and every once in a while, you would look out through your window, admiring the neighboring houses and all their greenery. as people walk on pavements, you cannot help but think about where they’re off to—are they on their way to work? did they leave an important document back home? or are they coming back to a meal and home filled with warmth?

despite the halo soundtrack filling your ears, the cogs in your brain seem to drown them out. the numbers on your paper have jumbled up. it should’ve been easy. after all, you’ve become friends with the letters who’ve squeezed their way into math. once you’ve wrapped up on this assignment, you know you’ll wake up to another set of work to do. it didn’t help that you’re stuck watching kids your age enjoy their break.

with a tired mind, you consider making yourself another cup of iced coffee. maybe another dose of caffeine will make sense of the numbers—

your phone buzzes against your table. as your eyes rip from the unfinished worksheet, you spot the familiar name flashing on the screen. with one glance at your door, you bring your headphones to rest around your neck. it takes three rings for you to answer.

“what do you want?”

“the fuck? what’s wrong with you?”

you roll your eyes as you fiddle with your pen. “i’m studying, you fucker.”

“on a sunday?” jaehyun’s question has you only groan. “what happened to resting?”

“i wish,” you murmur as you scratch the back of your head. “i’ve been stuck on this stupid worksheet for the past hours. it’s annoying too. i mean, i already know this topic, so i don’t know why it’s so hard.”

“awe, is my best friend suffering over kumon?”

your forehead rests on crossed arms. “yes. i think i’m going to die.”

“okay, then. i’ll take that as my sign.”

“sign to what?”

he chuckles as if it were obvious. “to save you! let’s go to mr. kim’s.”

a groan leaves you as your back meets the chair. “no, i can’t. do you know what would happen if i don’t finish my kumon?”

“uh… no?”

“me, neither. i’m not taking my chances.”

“but, you’re not even doing anything!” jaehyun pointing out the obvious has you rolling your eyes. “wouldn’t it be better to take a break with your best friend? i can even help out.”

as you bite the inside of your cheek, you glance once more at your closed door. you weigh it out; would you rather take a break with your best friend or would you save yourself from the consequences brought by home?

but the answer was already clear. “give me 10 minutes.”

jaehyun laughs before you drop the call.

it’s the smell of fresh hotteok that greets you. the quiet buzzing of the fan accompanied by mr. kim’s favorite trot music fills your ears. while the owner seems to be away from the cashier, a white, stray cat takes over, body flopped on the counter as it snores away the heat. as the sun pours through windows, coating every corner of the mart with a glow of fireflies, you know this will be a place of its own.

“y/n, over here!” a familiar voice calls out. as you whip your head to the source, you see your best friend by the chest freezer, eyes crinkled and all dimples.

now, you’re certain that nothing could ever replicate this.

you walk towards jaehyun, finding your spot beside him as you two look through the collection of frozen treats. “so, what do you want from here?” you ask.

“uh… i’ll be honest, i just realized i’m short on money.”

you glance through the price tags, only for a groan to leave you. “i’m short too. when did mr. kim raise the prices?”

“no clue. i thought i’d have enough to get a summer crush,” jaehyun complains as his eyes are glued to the coffee sorbet. “i hate inflation.”

“come on.” you fish out for the coins in your pocket. “let’s see how much we have together.” jaehyun does the same. with palms out, you two count through your shared funds.

“we can get a summer crush!”

“you can get one. i’ll be left with barely anything.” you look through the selection once more. “man, i really want samanco. the red bean sounds so good right now.”

defeat casts over jaehyun’s features. for a moment, you almost consider giving up on having a frozen treat and settling for a glass bottle of orange soda, until you spot a familiar popsicle brand.

“holy shit, it’s right there.”

“what?”

“there!” your finger points at the stack of twin bars. “we can probably get that and split it.”

jaehyun’s expression morphs into realization. “okay, let’s get—”

“dibs on grape.”

“dibs?” he furrows his eyebrows at you. “you can’t just call dibs. you’re doing it wrong. clearly, we should discuss—”

“nope,” you retort. a chuckle laced with disbelief leaves your best friend. to him, it seemed like you were joking around. “i made the suggestion and contributed a lot more to our shared funds.”

“okay, but—”

“don’t tell me you want the peach flavor more than the grape.” as you continue to shut him down, he knows there’s no way around you.

(plus, he wasn’t a fan of peach-flavored things, anyway. how unfortunate that mr. kim only has those two flavors right now.)

“next time, we’re choosing a flavor that i want,” he gives in. you let out a cheer before grabbing the frozen treat.

you two make your way back to the cashier and spot mr. kim slouched in front of the television, hand stroking the sleepy feline. he’s still wearing an old, red plaid apron on top of a pair of basketball shorts and a loose graphic tee which had the name of a band you’re unfamiliar with. with how he sits, you’re afraid that his back problems will get even worse. (still, you don’t say anything. he’ll only play it off and say he’s still one of the “youngins”... whatever that means.)

once his eyes land on you two, a grin takes over. “ah, my favorite kids! it’s nice to see you both.”

“yeah, it’s been a while,” jaehyun starts off. “y/n’s always busy with kumon.”

you narrow your eyes at the boy. “hey! you’re busy, too! you’ve been practicing at the studio almost every day!” the wrapped popsicle now rests on the counter. “every time i’m free, you’re not.”

“hey! whenever you’re free, i’m tired from training!”

“okay, let’s settle down,” mr. kim breaks up the banter. he then takes note of the ice cream on the cashier, the price showing up on the cashier. “isn’t the heat hard enough for you two to be studying or practicing?”

“yes, very much.” you count the coins once more before dropping the exact amount on the counter. “but,” you glance at jaehyun and his disheartened expression is enough for mountains to move, “i don’t think we have a choice.”

in reality, these were the circumstances you two had to work and live with. during the days jaehyun ended practice early, you were drowning in summer school assessments. whenever you managed to finish your homework, it would be during the hours your best friend was off at the studio or passed out at home from exhaustion.

“choice, no choice, people always say that.” mr. kim counts your payment before putting it into the cashier. as he takes note of what you’ve bought, he says, “everyone has a choice. i’m sure you two can figure it out.”

the only difference is that one chose this path; the other had to suffer from the decision forced onto them.

“don’t worry, mr. kim,” jaehyun nudges your shoulder. “i’m sure we’ll figure it out.” and when the dips in his cheeks appear, you find yourself smiling back.

maybe you were okay with the life you had to live, just maybe.

“anyway, we’ll go ahead,” jaehyun bids farewell to mr. kim.

you giggle. “he means we’re just going to eat our ice cream at the front.”

as you two slowly make your way out of the mart, mr. kim shakes his head. “you lovebirds go ahead. i’ll see you next time!”

“mr. kim!” you and jaehyun shout in unison before glancing at each other.

“what?!”

your best friend groans. “you know we aren’t together.”

“yeah! like, i can’t imagine it,” you join in.

still, the owner laughs at your reactions. “you two are so funny. just go and enjoy your ice cream.”

you roll your eyes at his words. “bye, mr. kim!”

with that, you and jaehyun were out of the mart and took a seat on the benches. you hand your best friend the wrapped frozen treat before letting out a sigh. “i still can’t believe this is one of the few times we got to meet up during the break.”

“i know.” he tears the plastic wrapping off. “you would think that summer break would mean we get to hang out nonstop, but i’m starting to think we saw each other more whenever we had school.”

you hum. “i know. and i had ap stat while you had training.” your eyes dart at jaehyun who grips onto the popsicle sticks, struggling to split it into two. “oh my god, don’t tell me you can’t split it.”

“hey! it’s hard.”

as you giggle, you reach your hand out. “let me do it.” once jaehyun hands you the twin bar, you attempt to split the two. for a moment, you almost think about agreeing with him. yet, the frozen treat splits into two perfectly, and a satisfied smile rests on your lips.

you hand him one popsicle, only to be met with his glare. “i know, i’m just better.”

“just shut up.” to that, another laugh leaves you.

under the sun, you enjoy the coolness of the twin bar. while you would’ve stared off to nowhere, you and jaehyun were here at the right time to catch civilians bustling away. some were on dates, where one would go on about their interest while the other would smile at their rambling. there were kids whose chatter could be heard all the way from the end of the block, and blue-collar men who were off to enjoy their break.

you can’t help but imagine what people saw—thought—of you and jaehyun. did they think of you as unexpected friends? has it ever crossed their minds that you two were only classmates who seemed to always be paired together? or did they ever think the same as mr. kim?

“you know,” jaehyun starts off, causing you to look at him, “i was going through college courses the other day.”

your eyebrows shoot up. “oh?”

with your reaction, jaehyun giggles. “i was just curious, you know? not that i’m giving up on dance or anything, but,” he licks the popsicle, “early childhood education sounds cool.”

you hum. “i wasn’t expecting that.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“no, it’s not a bad thing!” you reassure the boy. “it’s just,” you rip your gaze off of jaehyun and look at the playground, “i always thought of you as a dancer, you know? kind of like you were meant for the stage.” the laughter of the kids who passed by you two bounces all over the block and you can’t help but smile. “but i don’t doubt it.”

the breeze graces your sweat-covered skin. “what about you?” you look back at him. “would you ever consider journalism? maybe communication as your major?”

you’re quick to laugh at his suggestion, but when confusion paints his features, you realize it’s a serious question from him.

“no.” it’s a straightforward answer from you, but jaehyun could never settle with that

“why not?”

a sigh leaves you. “i just don’t consider it. i mean, i think about it,” all the time, “but not enough to consider it. plus, astrophysics is cool.”

“but is it your dream?”

jaehyun’s question is an easy one to answer—not at all. you’ve had enough learning about theories and making sense of the numbers. if your future is going to only complicate that further, then maybe astrophysics isn’t made for you. 

but who’s to say that you’ll even enjoy journalism?

“we’ll see.” you leave it at that and jaehyun didn’t push for more.

because the reality is that if you ever did consider it, transform those dreams into action plans, you were terrified to be met with your parents’ disappointment—it wouldn’t only be from your lousy desires but from jaehyun’s role in your life.

the first time you mentioned jaehyun to your parents happened over dinner, letting them know you would be staying later at school to work on the final project for art class with him. they didn’t bat an eye at his name as they continued to talk about what happened during work and pester you about your progress in other classes. (art class didn’t matter to them, only the sciences and math were ones they seemed to track. still, they would criticize you if you didn’t place first honors.)

with your parents’ oversight, something blossomed between you and jaehyun. from there, there were more days you would get home later than usual. while you were still on top of your work, they took your late arrivals as a form of negligence.

all it took was one night for them to demand an explanation. the reappearance of him in the conversation had only caused them to reprimand you—jaehyun’s not like you. he’ll only hold you back. 

from that day on, you’ve learned to keep his name out of conversations. you’ll enjoy what you have with jaehyun, even if it has to be kept under the wraps.

“how’s training?” you change the subject, trying to keep the attention off of your failed dreams to jaehyun’s flourishing ones.

“well, it’s a lot,” he chuckles as he munches a piece. “you already know that it takes how many hours to get to the company, and the hours i spend in the practice room are unlike the trainings i have at school.”

as his eyes meet yours, you only shoot him an apologetic smile. it was never going to be easy; you two knew that before jaehyun entered the doors of the company. yet, he still held on.

“you know, i never considered it before, but i like where i’m going,” he admits. “even if i’ve always had dreams to pursue dance, i want to make my family proud if i ever get to debut.” 

jaehyun knows how to persevere. regardless of all the bruises he gets from performing complex dance routines or the hours of sleep he longs for, he knows how to hold on. you wish you could say the same for yourself.

“and you will,” you reassure the boy, wrapping your arm around his shoulders. “who wouldn’t be proud of you?”

he holds your stare and your smile falters. for a moment, you don’t know if you touched on a sensitive topic. would he shrug your arm off? do you think he’ll shut you off, maybe cut your time together short? will jaehyun get mad at you for something you didn’t know was wrong? would he be just like them?

“i want to make you proud.”

that’s enough to answer it all.

you shake your head. “don’t even doubt that for a second.” your arm finds it spot back to your side, and jaehyun’s loops his with yours.

although he knows how to persevere, he never knows when to shut his ears from the shadows. 

“i am proud of you,” you tell him. “always have, always will.” he can’t help but smile. all you can hope is that he’ll listen closely to your voice.

“i almost forgot,” he says out of nowhere.

“forgot what?”

as he tugs his arm away, his hand fishes for something in his pocket. “close your eyes.” you furrow your eyebrows. “just do it!” you follow his orders. “and keep them closed, okay?” you let out a hum.

before you know it, something wraps around your index finger. you would’ve opened your eyes, confused over the foreign yet familiar material, but they remain shut. 

“okay, open.”

your gaze rests on your finger wrapped in yellow and blue. it’s a finger trap—and the other end is connected to jaehyun. despite your tug, it still holds you two together.

it’s the warmth that fills your cheeks, the heartbeat in your ears, and your starstruck eyes that has him smile. “no matter what happens, we’ll stick together, okay? regardless of what paths we end up pursuing. all that matters is that we have each other.”

he’s filled with hope. hope for his dreams. hope for your relationship. hope for what the future holds for you two. you can’t help but hope as well.

all it takes is a nod from you to solidify the promise to the universe.

you two sit in silence, finishing up the popsicles as people continue to pass by. at one point, you heard mr. kim let out a curse over the drama he’s watching. the sun is about to set, wrapping you two in a golden blanket, and all that matters is the finger trap.

present  -> two weeks before the interview, 2024

it’s no surprise to you that the newsroom is quiet. while your peers are off to gather more information, you’re with lee chaeyeon of news as she tries to meet the deadline for her article’s first close.

“do you think dokyeom will be late?” you ask as you watch her rephrase sentences.

she laughs. “when is he never? minho’s always assigning him coverages.”

“that’s true.” your eyes drift to the hallway. “i’m just hungry. he still owes me food, you know?”

“over another bet? or you saving his ass?”

“over helping him with an article,” you reveal, earning a shocked look from her. “for some odd reason, he needed another writer to help out with a live coverage, and all the sports writers and sports editor were busy handling the other events.”

“holy shit.” chaeyeon continues with her work. “i didn’t expect you to work on anything sports-related.”

“yeah, but it helped that it was a dance competition. at least i know something about dance.” you only know who to thank. “i’m going to make sure i get compensated for that. i’m planning to raise it to minho and namjoon, anyway. that’s if dokyeom would fucking come and help in explaining the situation.”

with the mention of the tardy writer’s name, he’s scrambling through the halls with his backpack in one hand and a paper bag in the other. the moment he sees you, he shoots you an apologetic smile.

“speak of the devil,” you say as you stand up straight. “why do you always show up late? i helped you with the article.”

dokyeom finds his spot beside you as he sets down the bag on your desk. “i’ll have you know that wasn’t the only article i had yesterday. i was catching up on other ones that minho assigned me.” before he can plop down on his seat, he spots chaeyeon working. “damn, tough life at news.”

“no need to point out the obvious, doofus.”

“wow, harsh,” he replies to her insult. “just so you know, i bought food for us.”

“thank god,” you exclaim as you open the paper bag filled with takeout containers and sealed cups. as you pull them out one by one, you spot your usual order from the vietnamese restaurant around the corner. “oh my god, thank you for getting me this.” you take a seat before you pass dokyeom his food and utensils.

“yeah, i know. i’m just the best.” his shower of compliments for himself only has you rolling your eyes. “but thank you, by the way, for helping me out with the article. i needed an extra pair of hands and my own editor couldn’t stand in to help out.”

“it’s fine. just make sure you help me get compensated for that article,” you say before you open the container. as the smell of bun bo nam bo fills your nose, you can’t help but let out a quiet moan. “holy fuck, i’ve been craving this.”

“i made sure to get you some vietnamese coffee also.”

“yeah, i saw. thank you.” you split the chopsticks with one hand. you’re about to mix the bowl of your favorite food—

“is y/n here?” your editor calls out, causing you to let out a sigh before you stand up from your seat.

“yes?”

namjoon’s gaze lands on you. “can i talk to you for a bit?”

despite your grumbling stomach, you give him a nod and set your food down. as he retreats to his office, you glare at dokyeom who munches away on goi cuon. “i hate you.”

“hey, what did i do?!” you ignore his attempts to defend himself as you make your way to your editor’s office.

once you swing the door open, you spot namjoon whose eyes are stuck to the screen. “you can take a seat,” he says with no attempt to look at you. you sit across from him, hands folded on your lap, while he types away on his keyboard.

the moment he hits the ‘enter’ key is when he finally looks at you. “sorry about that. i was just replying to minho regarding your compensation for the article you worked with dokyeom. we both appreciate what you did. next time though, make sure to loop in minho or me before you two start working on beats not within your staffs.”

“sorry about that,” you start off. “dokyeom only asked for my help and i thought it would be fine since i’m familiar with dance, anyway.”

namjoon shakes his head with a small smile plastered on his face. “it is fine, just make sure to inform us.” you only nod.

“anyway, i’m sorry to have this meeting with you right now but i have to leave work early today, and i thought that you’d appreciate that i tell this to you now instead of tomorrow,” he says. you hum, curious about what he has to say. “i have a coverage for you, a very, very, long one.”

over the sight of your wide eyes, he can’t help but chuckle. “it’s seven articles,” he says and your mouth gapes over the number. “well, one main article and six profiles with very brief introductory paragraphs.” his attempt to ease your shocked state does nothing.

“namjoon, that’s… a lot.”

“yes, i know. i would love to split the workload but everyone else is handling other articles, and i trust you. i know i’m asking for a lot but i’ll make sure to help you out with them. it’s just that we’re working on a time crunch and i don’t know anyone else i can ask but you.”

the faith that your editor seems to have in you is like no other.

“profiles, like, those q&a transcripts?” you ask.

he nods before saying, “yes, and just a brief introductory paragraph for each profile. i’m just expecting you to put more work into the article about the group. i’ll make sure to help out with the profiles.”

namjoon’s trust should be anxiety inducing, enough to send you complaining, but you find yourself relieved. your mentor became your second-in-command; the mountain of workload transformed into a hill.

“okay.”

a relaxed smile appears on his face at your acceptance. “thank god! i was going to stress about this the whole day if you refused. i’ll make sure to send you the details about this once i’m done with my appointments, and then we can see how we’ll divide the work later on.” he types something. “we’re covering a k-pop group which is why there’s one main article about the whole group and then six profiles.”

“yeah, i figured that out.” this isn’t anything out of your usual articles. “can i ask who we’re interviewing? maybe i can do some research on them while you attend your meetings.” you pull out your phone, ready to search up whoever your editor says.

“don’t know if you’re familiar with them but they’re called boynextdoor?” you still in your seat. “wait, let me check. yes, that’s their name.”

“boynextdoor?”

namjoon looks at you, now met with your features that have transformed from wide eyes to scrunched eyebrows.  “yeah. do you know them?” 

you shake your head without a second thought. “no, i don’t think i do,” you whisper the last sentence to yourself. his narrow eyes look over you, almost dissecting you.

the walls surrounding you are painted in solid colors of pearl, almost untouched. yet, under the paint are cracks that spread like cobwebs. every burst is a testament to the earthquakes they’ve faced; no one should be able to see a single line of black amid the white sea. now, they’re filled with paste, and it should be enough to cover them all.

but for the first time, the paint has chipped and the paste has deteriorated; the different colors of cheongju seep through the cracks.

you clear your throat as you straighten your back. “i’ll be sure to research them.” you wave your phone at him, hoping to divert his attention, but his gaze remains on you.

a sigh leaves him. “okay. expect to receive the documents later in the afternoon.”

he doesn’t push any further. for now, the walls remain intact. (or appear as so.)

it was never going to be easy.

“honestly, i gave up expecting to win as we practiced,” the youngest says through tears. as they huddle, they let out silent wishes for the upcoming years. before they blow the candle, they don’t forget to express their gratitude to the fandom who stuck with them through thick and thin.

a time of celebration turned into a moment to remember their struggles. these were pockets of their time that marked their spot in history.

“oh, everyone behind us is crying!” another member points out as the camera captures the team’s bittersweet cries.

and when you catch sight of the brunette who hides his tears behind his friend, the ache in your chest starts to spread through your veins. the video cuts to his low-hanging head as his members comfort him. they knew all of his hardships—you only know a fraction.

such a tender moment happened a year ago; it’s shorter than the amount of time between this achievement and your departure. within those years, what did jaehyun undergo? did his trainings waver his passion or did the fire burn just as bright as it did since he first auditioned? was he confident in his skills or was he still critical about every performance he had?

but most of all, what did he face? what did he learn? to hate? to love?

what did he go through without you?

you don’t forget to take note of their first win on your document filled with bullet points of information. while you were going to continue watching, a recommended video caught your attention. it’s a jaehyun focus. you don’t hesitate to click it.

the video starts off with him checking up on the fans before the performance starts. as he mimes out eating, they answer his question with reassurance.

and there they come—his dimples appear.

it transitions to their group in their opening formation. as they await for the song to play out, jaehyun’s familiar smile shifts into a dominant gaze.

in the same way the first notes draw people to listen, your eyes never leave the boy. his movements are fluid, like water droplets sliding off leaves. he commands the stage regardless of where he’s positioned.

jaehyun is meant to be on the stage—no, every stage is made for him. every crowd is meant to cheer his name and remain captive to his talents, and every spotlight is meant to shine on him.

you rest your chin on crossed arms. long gone was the bowl cut and loose school uniform. he’s grown. matured, even. yet, the moments where his smile appears makes you realize one thing: the 16-year-old boy you knew still lives within him.

as their performance comes to an end, you don’t bother to move your cursor, letting the next recommended video play. and when his vlog plays out, you realize that a fragment of his identity is a whole of what you know.

what an honor it is to have known him for even a fraction of your lifetime.

his voice is a lullaby, the same one you used to fall asleep to, so you allow yourself to close your eyes. you let go of the responsibilities for just this moment, and allow yourself to be transported back into the warmth of his arms.

fall of 2019

out of all the seasons, autumn took its spot in being your favorite. clusters of green slowly morph  into shades of oranges and browns. it’s a symphony of chirps that fills the silence. while the breeze brings you comfort after the heat of summer, it also reminds you of the looming winter.

it’s a shame that autumn does live up to its other name: a season of fall.

“you’re always like this,” your mother comments. you stand in front of your parents, slumped shoulders and downcast eyes, as they hold a sheet of paper they believe dictates your future. “always so sensitive. we’re just asking you what went different. why did your grades drop?” to them, a shift from a to b+ is a threat to your future. 

while your feet stand on wooden floors, a flood starts to form. murky waves crash against your legs, but you do your best to keep your balance.

“answer us when you’re being talked to.” your father snaps you out of your thoughts. “what have you been doing for your grades to drop?” you want to answer but a single sound that leaves you may only lead to blubbers that your parents will scold you for. 

with your silence, your mother sneers. “i knew we shouldn’t have let you do your own things. i told you so.” she shifts her gaze to him. “what did i tell you about y/n? you know they’ll only slack off!”

“i thought we could trust them. clearly, i was wrong.” your father’s glare raises the water levels, reaching your chest. you don’t know how to swim in the foggy ocean.

“i know why.” she crosses her arms. “it’s because of that jaehyun boy, isn’t it?” she says his name laced with disgust.

you don’t think twice to defend him. “no, it isn’t!”

“don’t you dare talk back at me!”

“but i’m not! he’s done nothing.”

your father begins to raise his voice. “and that’s what’s wrong! that lazy boy does nothing for his studies. he clearly doesn’t care about his future.”

you always knew it would be a losing battle, but you’ll put up the fight to protect your best friend’s name. “that’s not true! he does care. he’s planning to do early childhood education for college, maybe become a teacher.”

“that job has no money. see, i can already see that you’re being influenced by him,” he argues back.

and as the murky waters rise, filling your lungs, your first instinct is to close your eyes and scream. “stop saying that about him!”

a beat passes.

“i don’t want you hanging out with him.”

“but—”

“shut up.” your mother’s words cause you to look up, meeting your parents’ faces filled with anger.  “go to your room. now.” you’re nothing but a puppet for them.

was it even a battle if you always knew you were going to lose?

despite the safety of your room, you don’t let the tears flow down. you do anything to distract yourself; maybe a book will convince you that your life is only a figment of your imagination.

waves continue to crash against your body. if you let them take your body, would they send you far away from cheongju? from your parents? from the weight you were entrusted to carry since birth?

but would you allow the waves to send you away from jaehyun?

your phone buzzes against the mattress. with tear-filled eyes, you see your best friend trying to reach you. you don’t think twice about declining his call and shutting off your phone.

as you curl in your bed, you hope the sea will swallow you whole—the slow, burning pain that comes with drowning won’t compare to the burns that haven’t healed. but you know that the blame rests on your shoulders. if only you had studied harder, cut off hours of rest for your work, then maybe you would be the perfect child your parents wanted.

were you wrong for allowing yourself to enjoy the small breaks between classes? was the time spent in the mart supposed to be for schoolwork? should you have found yourself a tutor? were you in the wrong for not working yourself to the bone? did you not work enough?

are you not enough?

then, a knock. your eyes snap open. like a stroke of light in the middle of the dark, jaehyun is by your window.

you get off your bed to open the window. as the glass barrier disappears, he enters your room. “are you okay?” he spots your glassy eyes and his hands find their spot on your shoulders. “what happened?”

you break eye contact. “what do you want, jaehyun?”

“you didn’t pick up your phone. and when i tried calling again, i couldn’t reach you,” he starts to explain.

you shrug off his grip on you before you take a seat on your bed. “i’m fine. my phone died.” as you feel the spot beside you dip, you look at your best friend. at the sight of his furrowed eyebrows, you know he doesn’t believe you. “i said i’m fine.”

“i didn’t say anything.” for you are an open book to him.

he opens his arms towards you—it’s your move to make. then, a tight-lipped smile shows on his face, his dimples appear, and you allow yourself to fall. with his arms wrapped around you, you shut your eyes as you nestle your face into his neck.

breathe in. breathe out.

his hand finds its spot on your back, rubbing it in circles.

breathe in. breathe out.

“it’s okay, i’m here,” he says, and you allow yourself to crumble in front of him for the first time.

the tears hit jaehyun’s neck like a light drizzle. your wails bring earthquakes into his world.

yet, his warmth is enough to dry up droplets, and his embrace protects you as you fall into the cracks of the earth and into the depths of the world. the flood starts to subside.

in your time knowing jaehyun, how much did he know about you after all? had he always known of your strained relationship with your parents? did he hear about it from others or was he able to connect the dots?

because you didn’t know yourself outside of your parents anymore. did you like science because of your kumon classes? was your interest in writing birthed from a desire for validation from your parents?

are you nothing but an array of achievements and failures?

but your parents will never be satisfied; a standard too high is practically nonexistent.

jaehyun moves so that you two can lie down. his arms remain wrapped around you as you hide in his neck. “i’m sorry if i wasn’t there for you when you needed it then.” his whispered apology causes you to shake your head.

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you blubber out to his neck.

“and you didn’t, as well.” his hand finds its spot behind your head. with every stroke, a tear streams down. “and i want you to know that i’ll be here for you.”

in your house, your room was the only space you called home. solace built by you. 

now, your home is jaehyun.

present -> two weeks before the interview, 2024

something about the newsroom feels odd to you. there’s nothing out of the ordinary aside from it bustling with journalists. the familiar sounds of printers and chatter from your workmates fill your ears. it’s a typical occurrence for your peers to meet their deadlines on the day itself. the tug in your gut doesn’t resemble ones formed out of your anxiety. why does it feel like one of destiny?

“where is dokyeom? i swear, this guy never shows up to the office.”

you snap out of your thoughts, looking over at chaeyeon who browses through her phone. as you shove a bill into the vending machine, a chuckle leaves you. “when is he never?”

“maybe if he finishes his coverages on time then he’d be getting enough sleep. then, he won’t be late.”

you side-eye your friend before you click on a button. “you know that’s not true.”

she sighs at the same time your bottle of iced tea drops. “yeah. apparently, if you have free time, you’re not a good journalist or some shit which i find stupid.” you grab your drink before facing her. “am i not allowed to do something else that’s not related to my job? i swear, this is why i’m single.”

“then date another journalist.” your joke earns a scowl from her.

“i’m never dating anyone in my field. a journalist dating another journalist is like,” she looks up to the ceiling as she thinks, “a long distance relationship with how much they’ll never see or have time for each other.”

a laugh erupts from you, one that may be too loud for your liking. “true.”

as you walk out of the breakroom with chaeyeon, you notice something in the corner of your eye: a brunette by the restroom. while you can’t see his face, you spot what’s in his hand and you halt in your tracks—a finger trap.

“hey, is there someone there?” your eyes snap back to your friend who looks at you in confusion. when your eyes drift back to where the brunette once was, he’s already gone. you shake your head before walking back to your desk.

the same gut feeling lingers. with a frown, you open up your article only to be met with a few comments that namjoon left last night. maybe your gut knew that you weren’t done with your work. thankfully, it’s nothing too major, and you can have them done within the next few minutes.

“there you are!” chaeyeon exclaims, causing you to look up from your screen to a panting dokyeom. “were you working on your articles again?”

“actually, i went out last night.” while you shake your head at dokyeom’s reveal, chaeyeon gasps. “yeah, i did! i actually had fun for once!”

as he nods proudly at last night’s events, she complains, “are you serious?! how come you have time to go out? i was just talking to y/n that we never have time to ourselves.”

“i’m in sports,” he points out as he shrugs his shoulders. “you’re in news.” at this point, you’re expecting the two to spiral into an argument, so you redirect your focus back to your article.

“hey, did you hear though? there’s a k-pop group in the building.” you glance at chaeyeon.

your other friend leans on the cubicle. “really? who?”

“no clue.”

dokyeom lets out a groan. “what type of journalist are you if you can’t find out?”

“yah!” chaeyeon smacks his arm, causing him to wince in pain. “says you who can never submit on time.”

“hey, i’ll have you know that minho has been understanding!”

“whatever.” she rolls her eyes before looking at you. “that means you’ll probably be handling them. i hope they’re cute so that you can finally have something going on with your life outside of work.”

a chuckle leaves you as you get back to work. “i’m never dating an idol. i’d get hunted down by their fans.” 

“yeah, but can’t you dream a little? do you ever imagine what it would be like?”

the past plays in your mind. after school performances and interviews. broken-up popsicles. finger traps. a life you shared with jaehyun then—one you still cling onto.

yet, you shake your head as you edit your article. “not even.”

it’s a life you’ll keep to yourself.

“what’s the update?”

the three of you look away from each other, spotting namjoon who comes to you with a smile. long gone were the sweaters that failed to drown out his figure and the boxy glasses that would rest on the bridge of his nose. now, he wears a dress shirt and trousers with hair slicked to the side. there were no frames for him to hide behind.

“ah, namjoon! you’re dressed so nice today.”

with dokyeom’s compliment, he can’t hold back on his smile. “thank you. are you guys done with your articles?”

as your friends nod, you add the finishing touches to the document. “and done! i just finished addressing your comments.”

“great. thanks, y/n.”

“do you have something?” chaeyeon asks your editor, causing you to roll your eyes. one thing about journalists is that they love to know everything.

namjoon nods before saying, “i just had a meeting with some possible interviewees.”

“is this the one with the k-pop group?” as dokyeom asks the question, you can’t help but laugh as chaeyeon looks at him in disbelief for spilling confidential information.

your editor chuckles. “yes.”

“can we know—”

“no, you can’t know.”

chaeyeon pouts at namjoon. “not even a hint?”

namjoon ignores her question and begins to walk off. “good work, y/n!” he calls out before leaving you three alone.

“man, namjoon never tells us shit,” chaeyeon complains as she leans on the table.

“to you guys, at least,” you argue with a small shrug.

still, the gut feeling remains.

something about the newsroom feels odd to jaehyun. while he’s had his fair share of paranormal experiences, his gut tells him that there’s something in the office. yet, the tug isn’t one that speaks of danger. why does it feel like one of destiny?

“should we have a short break before we discuss the schedules for the photoshoots and interviews?” jaehyun is snapped out of his thoughts by namjoon’s suggestion.

his manager looks at the group. “do you guys need a break?”

“should we have a short break before we discuss the schedules for the photoshoots and interviews?” jaehyun is snapped out of his thoughts by namjoon’s suggestion.

his manager looks at the group. “do you guys need a break?”

although everyone seemed fine with proceeding, he couldn’t shake off the feeling. maybe the leftover curry he had this morning went bad. “i’ll go,” he says as he gets off his seat.

namjoon slowly stands up. “okay, i can bring you there—”

“it’s okay! i saw the washroom on the way here,” jaehyun says before walking to the door. “you can discuss the details without me first.”

with his manager’s nods, namjoon settles back into his seat. “okay then, here are some of the dates i have in mind...”

jaehyun exits the room. he bites on the inside of the cheek as he thinks of what his gut could be telling him. is it the nerves for the upcoming tour? is he worried about the next comeback they’ve been preparing? or is he scared about what the future has in store for his group?

with his mind on these questions, he doesn’t realize that he arrives in front of the bathroom door. a sigh of frustration leaves him. the worst thing about gut feelings is never knowing what they’re trying to say.

he grips the handle, ready to swing the door open, until a familiar laugh hits his ears. one of the past. one he hasn’t heard in years. his muscles freeze.

when was the last time he heard that chortle? when was the last time he became the cause of it?

his eyes dart around the area for the source but no one else is here. he can’t help but shake his head in disbelief.

it should be stupid for him to think you two would ever reunite. in what world would you be in the same place as he is? it’s been five years. you could be anywhere around the world. yet, he fishes for something out of his pocket; the same finger trap he linked you to him rests on the palm of his hand.

he sighs before entering the washroom and shoving it back into his pocket.

maybe he’ll hold out a little longer.

winter of 2019

out of all the seasons, jaehyun’s favorite is winter. snowflakes fall, filling the sky with stars that people can touch, and snow piles on sidewalks, letting him throw snowballs at his friends. despite the freezing temperatures, jaehyun prefers this over nearly-boiling ones.

he can’t wait to share this season with you.

yet, the familiar, chilly breeze of the season transforms into whispers, and word gets around like thrown snowballs. 

“is y/n really not going to school anymore?” jaehyun looks up from his desk to see jiheon standing in front of him. he tilts his head in confusion, causing her to roll her eyes. “are they not going here anymore?”

he frowns. “huh? what kind of rumor is that?”

“i don’t know. it’s what people have been saying,” she says as she crosses her arms. “i asked because i wanted to know if my competition’s gone, you know? and you’re the only one here who has an idea about their whereabouts.”

jaehyun laughs in disbelief. “no, i was with them last week.”

when jaehyun last saw you, you asked for space. with what’s been happening with your family, you needed time to process and cope with your issues, and he respected that. after all, he only knew a fraction of your relationship with your parents, and he didn’t want to intrude in anything you didn’t want him to be a part of. still, jaehyun reminded you that he’ll be there if you need him.

“damn, that sucks,” jiheon groans as her shoulders slump. “these stupid rumors.” as soon as she leaves jaehyun alone, he shakes his head.

the bell rings. students start rushing into classrooms and teachers scold those who aren’t on their seats. ms. jeon enters the room, walking to the desk in front and setting her things down. “baek jiheon, you’ll be in charge of attendance today.”

as jaehyun’s classmate gets off her seat, he can’t help but look at your desk that still remains empty.

“you have to message us when you land,” your mother says as she fixes the collar of your coat. despite your nod, she clicks her tongue. “answer me properly.”

“yes, i will.”

once your father finishes placing the last luggage in the trunk of the taxi, he stands beside your mother. “don’t forget why we’re sending you there. we expect you to do better with no distractions.”

your phone buzzes in your hand. as you look down, you see a message from jaehyun. as he asks about your whereabouts, the weight gets heavier—will you stand or crumble under it?

“who’s that?”

you stash your phone away as you look back at your parents. “nothing. it’s just an email from the school. they sent over the date for the orientation.” at the sight of their satisfied smile, you let out a small sigh of relief.

“well, go on.” your nod at your mother before getting in the car. with the windows still down, she adds, “don’t forget to get endorsement letters from the professors i sent over to you or else you won’t get to study abroad like we planned.” her choice of pronouns is funny; a plan that they crafted which never considered your input.

“okay.”

as your father commands the driver to go, your gaze remains on the two. it should be okay with you to leave cheongju; you’d be far away from your parents and experience an entirely different landscape to explore. it’s time you break away from the chains of this town. learn a life outside of what your parents forced you into.

yet, as the car takes its leave, the figure of your parents slowly shrinks. the distance from them should’ve given you the space to breathe, a relief you’ve longed for, but it only reminds you of your strained relationship. to them, it would be better that you’re out of their sight—and with your farewell, you never heard the three-word phrase.

the window rolls up. you try to hold back the tears, but the scenery of cheongju that you pass by births a storm within you. you didn’t want to say goodbye to home, regardless of how much you say you didn’t have a home in this town. every corner holds a piece of you in the same way you hold a piece of them.

the car approaches a safe haven you share. despite the snow that piles at the front, mr. kim’s convenience store is still open. you’ll never get to have his hotteok again or hear his favorite dramas play in the background. worst of all, you never got to say goodbye.

then, the familiar figure of your best friend exits the mart, and the storm transforms into a typhoon. the plastic bag he holds is filled with your favorite snacks, from the grape-flavored twin bar to a bottle of mr. kim’s homemade peach iced tea.

and in that moment that your car passes him, he pulls out his phone from his pocket, and you spot the familiar trap wrapped around his finger—the other end holds no one.

as quickly as you came into jaehyun’s life, he disappears from your view.

finger traps were fascinating. if you tug hard, the contraption won’t let your fingers go. yet, if you allow the two fingers to meet, allowing the toy to loosen, it’ll let you go with no harm.

but your finger trap with jaehyun was different. maybe it was already ripped to its seams.

interview

q: what made you decide on becoming an idol?

a: i’ve always loved dancing. growing up in cheongju, i always made time [for dance] whether it be [for] school competitions, talent shows, or even [choreographies] i wanted to try out. but i never considered becoming [an idol] until high school. a lot of my friends and family thought i was capable, and i’m glad they trusted me. it feels good to give back to them with every performance.

q: compared to your other members, you’ve spent a lot of years dancing and training to become an idol. what kept you going throughout your years of training?

a: my family’s support was one big thing that helped me [during my training.] every trip from my house to the company would last hours, and it drained me physically. so as the years went by, i started to question if all the time, money, [and] effort i was putting into an unpromised debut would be worth it, but my parents and brother were always there to support and [take] care of me. but i’d also like to think my best friend was a major support in training years. i think they were the first one to [tell me that they saw me as an idol,] and at the time i brushed off the idea. but, look where i am now? so i think i owe a lot to them.

q: is there anything you’d like to say to those who’ve supported you as boynextdoors’s myung jaehyun? a: mom and dad, thank you for believing in me. i know it wasn’t easy to wait until midnight for me to come home or take care of me whenever i got sick from training. thank you for always supporting me in every performance. to my brother, thank you for helping mom and dad out at home. every day, i remind myself that you gave up so much just so i can pursue my dreams, and i want you know that i’m forever grateful for your sacrifices. to the rest of [boynextdoor], thank you for always allowing me to rely on you. i’m glad i can say i have brothers who i get to achieve my dreams with. onedoor, thank you for your love and support over the years. i wouldn’t be boynextdoor’s leader or myung jaehyun if it weren’t for you. and lastly, thank you to my best friend. i hope you’ll always be proud of me the same way i’ll forever be proud of you.

taglist: @kflixnet @blankjournal @blissfullsvn @lovialy @onedoornet