#jaehee loving hours

[killjoy-prince]

Jumin, stop avoiding your responsibilities and help Jaehee out

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 5

Trigger Warnings: Breaking bones, angst

Deep screams filled the room for over an hour. Chan's bones were being re-broken all over again because his wounds hadn't healed. Y/N could hear Jaehee upstairs snapping his bones and she hated it. It made her angry and emotional. "Make it stop." Y/N cried into Hyunjin's chest who held her tightly. He tried to block out the crunching sounds from upstairs as Minho and Jeongin held Chan down, knowing the alpha would likely fight out of instinct, especially now that they were mated.  "It's nearly done. She's nearly done." Hyunjin whispered in her ear. His hands were wrapped around her ears like a child who was afraid of fireworks. "Hyunjin. You need to go up there." Minho stated as he came down. Hyunjin saw the worried look on Minho's face and let Y/N go. Y/N stood there, tears streaming down her face as she looked at Minho who was whispering to Hyunjin about something to do with burning his wounds. "Come here," Minho called as he opened his arms, allowing the elder to consume her. His scent overwhelmed her. "Let's go and talk." Minho offered, hoping it would distract her but the female wolf was petrified. "No," Y/N whispered as she listened to her alpha's screams. Her ears focused on the horrors that encapsulated his room. She could hear Jeongin telling Hyunjin to blind him. She could hear Jaehee telling Hyunjin to hold him down while Changbin held his legs. She hadn't even noticed her beta in that room. She could hear Jaehee's steady hands on Chan's leg as she made a slow break. Snapping his leg one last time. The sound reminded her of a Christmas cracker. It was a quick painful snap.

Minho picked up Y/N and carried her towards his car. He put her in the front seat before climbing into the driver's side. Y/N didn't understand what was going on but put her seat belt on. "Jaehee needs to stabilise Chan to start the healing process but she can't do it if you're in the house. You two are bound together and she needs Chan to focus, but he won't be able to if he knows you're in the house." Minho explained as he pulled off the driveway to drive down the road. "We're going to pick up Felix and Seungmin, they are at Felix's mum's house," Minho explained. "Felix is at his mum's!" Y/N's eyes went wide as she looked at Minho who nodded, his eyes focused on the road. Y/N realised then she didn't quite know much about their family and if they had a close relationship with them. Chan and Hyunjin were the only two she knew something about. "I'm not angry at you Y/N." Minho blurted out as he drove down a country lane. He wanted to take the longer root so he could talk to her. "I care a lot about you and I always will-" "I am really sorry. I am Min." Y/N interrupted. Minho shook his head, taking one hand off of the steering wheel to squeeze her hand. "I know you are. I forgive you. I do. It. It hurt what you said, but it's in the past. I want to move on from this, but I need you to force me to listen without being hateful." Minho stated. He was honest with his words but he had good intentions. He wanted them to move on together and do better as a couple and as a mate. They both knew their mistakes but they needed to clear the air. Y/N listened to his words and accepted them. She wanted to make him feel more loved which he appreciated without telling her he was massively in love with her. He wasn't ready to tell her yet, but he will. Minho had a plan to confess and he wanted to make it special, but for now, he diverted the conversation, talking about his upbringing. 

Minho was an only child who came from a relatively small pack, it wasn't until he was older that he spent most of his days with the elders, learning how to be one. Minho was never destined to be in a wolf pack, only to uphold the werewolf laws and lores. It was only coincidental that he fell into Chan's pack, through a friend of a friend. Y/N sensed it was more because of Minho not being an alpha that he didn't want to join a pack. Y/N kind of got a snippet into Minho's feelings towards not being an alpha and it bothered him. The elder status allowed him to overpower head alphas and any werewolf but being in a pack slightly restricted him and that's what bothered him. "I'm going back to work as an elder tomorrow," Minho admitted sadly, but their was a hint of excitement in his voice. "What?!" Y/N said, her heart dropping slightly. That meant there would be no one home. What do I do then? Why is everyone leaving me? "I was supposed to go back months ago but you arrived so I postponed it. but don't be upset little wolf, you can come with me so you aren't alone. Once I feel safe enough and vetted the wolves I work with you can come with me." Minho promised as he pulled up to a busy street, beeping the horn slightly.

Y/N watched Seungmin leave the house and jog towards the car with a grin on his face. Minho put the window down so Seungmin could see her. "Hello, beautiful. Omg!" Seungmin gasped, his eyes glowing an amber colour as he looked at Minho who nodded his head. "You're a claimed woman now. " Seungmin said possessively but there was a hint of sex radiating in his voice as he looked at her. He wanted to claim her. His need to mate with her sparked there and then. "Is Felix ready?" Minho asked, pulling the beta out of his thoughts. "Oh. No. He asked if you wanted to come in for a bit." Seungmin pulled open the elder's door, beckoning him out. "Have you told her?" "No. Um." Minho turned towards Y/N awkwardly, "there's something different about Felix's family. I'll explain later but try not to judge them when you go in alright?" "Of course. I won't say anything." Y/N promised she was curious but at the same time wanted to be respectful. Y/N had no reason to judge after what she went through so why would she judge Felix's family? They were important to him so that meant they where important to her.

Y/N out of the car, giving Seungmin a hug first who embraced her, sniffing her neck possessively before taking her hand. They followed Minho in who called out to them letting them know he was there. Y/N followed in and took her shoes off respectfully. Seungmins hand still entwined with hers as they walked into the small kitchen where Felix was laughing with his two sisters. Y/N slightly stumbled back as she caught a whiff of their scent. They were human. Seungmin gave Y/N a squeeze reminding her of what Minho said, but Y/N couldn't help but stare blankly at the two females. "Oh Hi, Minho." A dark brunette-haired woman who looked slightly older than Felix stood up to give Minho a hug. Y/N looked over at Felix whose smile dropped from his face. He didn't look happy about her being there, it was written all over his face. "Who is this? I'm Olivia. This is my sister Rachel." Olivia said with excitement as she gave Y/N a hug throwing her off. Y/N had never been around humans, it made her slightly uncomfortable and agitated, but she was trying her best to be polite. "This is Y/N. She's mine and Minho hyung's girlfriend." Seungmin said quickly as he realised Felix wasn't going to say anything. "Oh. I didn't know. Aish. You should have said something earlier." Olivia gushed, hitting Felix as she looked over at Minho who gave an awkward grin. "It's alright. I told him not to, we didn't know how people would react." Minho said as he pulled Y/N towards him so he could wrap his arms around her waist. Y/N felt the air get heavier and she felt like she was struggling to breathe, but tried to compose herself as her stomach dropped. She felt embarrassed and upset, but also tried to remind herself if they were human they may not even know about werewolves. Still, Y/N couldn't help the disappointing feeling that aroused in her stomach at Felix's ignorance towards her. It hurt but Y/N had to be patient as she was sure there was a good reason for this. She trusted Felix. "You know polyamory is rather popular now, because of that film. Oh. What was that film called." Olivia asked her sister who shrugged her shoulders, clearly not wanting to draw attention to it as Rachel noticed the thick tension that grew in the room. "Still, Felix you should have told me about Seungmin being polyamorous." Olivia chided. "It's not my business what Seungmin and Minho hyung do in their spare time," Felix said plainly, causing Y/N to squeeze Minho's hands. Minho could feel her sadness and wanted to take her back home but he didn't want to be rude as Felix's sisters were so excited. "Well anyway. I'll make us all a drink and you can tell us how you met." Olivia said causing Felix to tense. It was going to be a long afternoon and Y/N had no idea what to even talk about.

Taglist for the iconic readers

@galaxy4489 @reallychaoticwoo @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx

[leafostuff]

My Masterlist (2024 Ver)

[F] Fluff

A tale of a Owl and Bunny (Chaehyun)

Welcome to the CATS Club (Chaehyun)

Taste Of Love (Jaehee) [Debut Fic]

Advanced Hugology (Jihan)

Birthday Kisses (Jihan)

Frozen in the Moment (Jihan)

A Tent for the Two of us (Jihan)

This Side of you (Chaeryoung)

It's Just a Nightmare (ITZY Yuna)

Meteor Shower (Minseo)

A King without a queen, a Princess without a knight (Bona)

Our Little Secret (Miihi)

Mood (Wonyoung)

Eyes on me (Liz)

Stop Teasing (Nagyung)

Insecurities (Jiheon)

Never Forever (Chaewon)

Campfire Talk (CSR Yuna)

Cuddle Party (All of CSR) [Collab with @erospandemos]

Fluffy Pancakes, Fluffy Girl (Geumhee)

Adjectives Thrown Around (CSR Yuna)

Would you (Karina)

Short and Sweet (Lesserafim Yunjin)

Tingles (Kiss of life Natty)

Untitled (Kep1er's Chaehyun)

[S] Smut (18+)

Nana Potter (Nana)

One Heck of a Joyride (Nana) [Collab with @octoberautumnbox]

A Very cheerful Halloween (Nako)

Camera Shy (Nako) [Part of Off*iz Hours]

"Tool" Assisted (Nagyung)

No Names Needed (Sheon)

Her money dont jiggle jiggle (but her boobs sure do) (Nayoung)

Messes in Distress (Jihan and Zoa of Weeekly)

Private Appreciation (Triple S nien)

Double Mountain (Weeekly Jihan)

Operant Conditioning (WooAh's Nana X Jo Yuri) [FXF]

Blind sexDate [StayC's Isa & Chaeyoung Fromis_9)

[O] Other

Chaehyun as a Pokemon Trainer (Chaehyun)

What if Polyamorous relationship with Jihan and Wonyoung (Jihan and Wonyoung)

What If Hikaru and Bahiyyih were a Couple (Hikaru and Bahiyyih)

Han Sohee as a Pokemon Trainer (Han Sohee)

[S] Shitpost

* lifowrits - gel sex

[pochipop]

＃MYSTIC MESSENGER !! ♡ — A LITTLE LITTLE MORE LOVE.

#. synopsis! — sweet gestures from them to you .

#. characters! — hyun (zen), jumin, saeyoung (707), yoosung, jaehee .

#. warnings! — none .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

#. a/n! — back in the mm pit because it's summer and it's time for my annual redownload <3 i've also been thinking about opening a discord, so if anyone has thoughts on that, i'd love to hear them! PLUS, i played the free demo for this indie otome-esque game on steam called homicipher, and i am begging for the release of the first chapter, idk if any of you have played it, but i am way too addicted for having only played like half an hour of it. anyway lolol, enjoy!!

＃ HYUN (ZEN) !! ♡

Hyun, who buys bouquets of flowers every now and again on his way back home from rehearsals. He does his best to match the colors to your needs, —yellow on sad days in hopes they might lift your spirits, blue when you’re frustrated so that it might calm you down, etc.. They always smell so sweet, and you cherish them deeply. They always live longer than they typically should as a result of how well you care for them, and he loves to see the bashful smile tug at your lips as you accept them gracefully, even if you always tell him that he “really shouldn’t have” or that he “didn’t have to.” He does it because he loves you, and he thinks someone as beautiful as you should be presented with something just as gorgeous every now and again (even if he admittedly thinks you’re worlds prettier than flowers could ever be.)

＃ JUMIN !! ♡

Jumin, who writes little notes on the corner of the napkins he rests your coffee or tea on each morning, delicate and elegant handwriting in black ink sinking so perfectly into the ivory material. They’re never the same, always a different expression of his love or his admiration. You like to tear them off and keep them safe in a little box, and you open it up to read them when you’ve had a hard day or when you’re just not feeling your best. He always tells you that you don’t have to keep them, that he won’t be offended if you simply toss them away after you’ve read them and they’ve made you smile, —but you can never bring yourself to do it.

＃ SAEYOUNG (707) !! ♡

Saeyoung, who folds little origamis for you when he gets the chance and leaves them somewhere around for you to find. It started with a tiny paper star he was folding for the heck of it, but you liked it so much that he decided to do it again, and again, and again. So now you have a neat little stash of different animals, shapes, and otherwise cool-looking creations (all of which have silly, blank expressions drawn onto them as faces that really add a sweetness to their personality.) You like to sit and fiddle with them every now and again, just to feel the sharp edges of the crane’s beak against your fingertips or to split the little heart apart and see the “i love you <3” written on the inside.

＃ YOOSUNG !! ♡

Yoosung, who buys sticky notes for his studies but ends up using most of them to leave you little notes with cute messages and silly doodles. He likes to think this is a better usage for them, especially when he watches you spot one out of the corner of his eye, and you hold it in your hands like it’s some kind of love-stricken poetry from a wordsmith he knows he’ll never be. They might be simple and straightforward, but there’s not much room for stanzas of prose on these little post-its, and reminders that you’re doing a good job or that you look cute are so much more than enough.

＃ JAEHEE !! ♡

Jaehee, who bakes you little desserts for you to eat when you get home, often heart-shaped or dusted in romantic colors, —always in your favorite flavors. Cookies with little jam hearts in the center, cupcakes with heart sprinkles and a cream just to your liking filling up the inside; each and every one made with so much love that you can practically taste it on your tongue. There’s no one else she’d rather bake for, and no one else she’d rather spend the rest of her days with. Sometimes words are hard to come by, and she worries she won’t always get it right, but when you kiss her on the cheek before taking a bite of her treats, well. . . She thinks things will be alright anyway.

[juminsmysticmc]

How will de RFA react to them calling them husband/wife before marriage. I like your writing 🫶🏻

RFA reacting to a Mc calling them Husband/ wife before Marriage

I did it again - I forgot about my own blog. I am so sorry :( but here you are, cutie! Hope you like it just as much as I did!

Jumin 

,,But really, I still wonder why the heck you guys got married so quickly,’’ Zen asked, sighting as he sat opposite you at the round table. 

The RFA wanted to meet up for a private meeting, organized by you. 

,,I can answer this,’’ Jaehee said, her eyes were on fire as she lifted up her lenses. 

,,Because our lovely Mc,’’ her palm directed towards you ,,in an interview named Mr Han ,,my husband’’ and guess who liked the ring of it,’’ she smiled, she was there when it happened. 

You answered a question and named Jumin instead of fiancé ,,my husband’’ but quickly corrected to ,,fiancé’’ - something Jumin disliked. 

He was proud and excited to be named your husband, he loved the moment so deeply and Jaehee still had his bright, happy smile in front of her eyes, as well as his facial expression when you corrected yourself. 

And since he liked the ring of his soon-to-be name, he wanted to rush things. 

Jumin’s hand was entangled in yours, remembering that day brought memories up and he truly felt blessed. 

Zen nodded at Jaehee’s explanation. 

,,Mc, were you even okay with it?’’ he asked you, wondering if you even were allowed to decide anything in that marriage.

,,Yes, Jumin wouldn’t let me sleep in his bed beside him, I was craving for more and so I was happy over the rush,’’ you answered, making Zen choke. 

Jumin - your husband - was even prouder now. 

Zen 

,,Zenny, you are so cuteeee!’’ you laughed, you were laying on top of him, both of you cuddling and wrestling softly. 

,,You are my cutie, princess. But don’t name me Zen or Zenny, let me be your Hy-’’ 

,,Husband? Oppa?’’ you asked him, looking deep into his red eyes. 

Zen had to process what you just said. 

You named him Husband. 

His face turned red, glowing and burning. 

He was getting embarrassed but slowly smiled. 

Hearing that out of your mouth gave him a new ring, and he liked it. 

,,Oh, sorry, you wanted to say Hyun, didn’t you? Of course I will,’’ you smiled and gave him a kiss on his soft lips. 

,,Now I am embarassed that I called you like that,’’ you laughed, turning red on your own. 

You quickly hid your face between his neck and his shoulder and hugged him stronger. 

,,Please, just forget it,’’ you begged him, sighing.

But Zen couldn’t think of anything else than your words, than the meaning which was held into the word ,,Husband’’. 

And now you would name him Hyun… 

,,Hello, I called earlier, I am here to see your engaged rings,’’ Zen said the next day to the lady in the jewelry shop. 

No way he was going to make you call him Hyun instead of Oppa.

He wanted an upgrade now. 

Yoosung 

,,Seven years,’’ Yoosung sighed, giving your hand a squeeze. 

,,Yes, seven years, I can’t believe, that we already have been married for so long,’’ you chuckled. 

Suddenly you remembered something ,,Remember, when I came to the hospital while lunch break and asked your co-worker about your whereabouts?’’ you asked him, of course, he remembered. 

,,Yes, you asked about your husband, even though we still weren’t married,’’ he smirked. 

And everyone was angry with me that I didn’t tell them I was married,’’ he told you, remembering how embarrassed but happy he was when someone finally found him and told him that you, his wife, were waiting for you, only to find you with a similar redhead. 

And in that very moment, Yoosung made a decision - as soon as he had his day off, he wanted to buy you a well-deserved engagement ring. 

Jaehee 

It was a hard day, after a shift of so many hours on your legs, your head was empty. 

The shop was booming, of course both of you, Jaehee and you, were thankful for that. 

However, you still had your challenges to keep it up. 

It was almost closing time when your friends Yoosung and Zen entered the coffee shop, ready to eat the last pieces of cakes that wouldn’t be sold anymore - probably. 

Actually, Yoosung was going to bring some to his family since neither of you wanted to throw them away. 

When Yoosung wanted to give you at least a bit of money, you shook your head. 

,,Even my wifey said no, so take it!’’ you laughed. 

Everyone stopped breathing, Yoosung and Zen both looked at your hand, eyes glued on your ringless finger while Jaehee’s cheeks slowly turned red. 

,,Wifey?’’ she asked you. 

However, you didn’t realize what you just said. 

,,Wifey?’’ you repeated, making Jaehee turn even deeper in red. 

The four of you were laughing, while you were denying your own words, Zen and Yoosung tried to assure you, that you just named her your wife. 

And Jaehee was trying - of course in secret - to find out if she still had your ring size from the latest jewelry order to ask you to become her real wife…

Saeyoung 

If someone would have told him that he would have pushed you from the couch for saying something cute, he would have shown that person his middle finger. 

But he couldn’t because he was currently pressing a cold ice pack on your throbbing head while his arm was holding your waist. 

,,I am so sorry,’’ he whispered, little kisses on your wet cheek. 

You were crying because of the pain, but you knew, that he didn’t mean it. 

You were still in pain though. 

,,I will never call you Oppa or Hubby,’’ you groaned, giving him a side-eye. 

He smiled apologetically. 

,,My hand moved on it’s own, of course, I loved it when you named me ,,Hubby’’... 

But I was so embarrassed…I just wanted to push you lightly, I didn’t mean to make you fall,’’ he confessed. 

You rolled your eyes. 

,,I know. But I would like to get a pre-divorce,’’ you kept teasing him. 

Of course, the little pain you were having was gone in a few hours but still, Saeyoung kept thinking a lot and a lot about this incident. 

He was thinking of a way of preventing something like this again and his only way was making it real - he had to become your real-life husband.

ᗰᗩᔕTEᖇᒪIᔕT

21.05.2023 // 11:56 MEST

[marshmallowprotection]

i'd love to hear your interpretation of the day 8 call ("You don't give up do you?") on Saeyoung's route! that has to be my favorite call, especially the end lolol

I mean, if anything, this is a representation that goes against the idea that Saeyoung "suddenly becomes a big meanie in his route and he's not playing games with me anymore, he's such a jerk! The time we've spent with him in the apartment is awful because he isn't the silly guy on the game previews!"

I really don't care for people who talk about him that way. If you only value him because he's silly, then you don't actually value him at all as a person. That's why you drive right into the bad ending, figuratively and literally. If you don't value his emotions and allow him to come to terms with what just happened to him, then you don't like Saeyoung.

Saeyoung just realized he sold his life away for NOTHING. Rika and V promised him that Saeran would be safe, and now he's just learned it was a lie. It was all a lie. His brother isn't safe, he's suffering in horrible ways that Saeyoung can't even begin to imagine because every time he closes his eyes, he wants throw up at the thought of Saeran being forced to learn how to hack and hurt others.

He traded his autonomy away to give his brother a chance at a free life, and not even a perfectly free life, a life that could be as free as he could have been given the circumstances. Saeyoung did it because thought the sacrifice would be worth it and threw away everything for nothing. It was for nothing because his brother has no nothing but misery. 

Can you imagine what it must feel like to sacrifice everything and realize it was for nothing? Do you think anybody in his position will be silly and goofy? No. That's not even the entirety of his being. He is not just some guy who likes to play pranks on people. The RFA is his family, and he’s accepted they’ll be the only family he’ll ever have because he can’t be with Saeran. So, he looks over them and does all kinds of things to lift their spirits. 

He got Yoosung into LOLOL. 

He runs Twitter bots for Zen. 

He hangs out with Jaehee and lets her vent about work. 

He’s aware that Elizabeth’s collar has SENSITIVE INFORMATION on it, and is constantly pressing Jumin to up his security. 

Sure, he plays around and pokes fun at everybody, and yes, that’s a part of who he is. But, if you only believe he's a silly prankster, then you have spent no time reflecting on why he's wearing a mask and settling it in the first place.

Saeyoung Choi is a multifaceted person and he isn’t just a joke. He's a compassionate man who will do anything and everything to take care of the people he loves, he loves going out for drives, he loves working on robotics, he can make up a story on the spot about the stars, he loves cosplay and cross-dressing, he loves so many things and he could spend three hours explaining his love of language and linguistics to you if you ASKED.

He is serious and if he's trying to piece together a plan, he's going to have a contingency ready for his contingency. He's ready for anything you throw at him. He can hold a conversation at length about any subject you throw at him and he will enjoy it far more than you think he will. 

He's stubborn to a fault. He can be clingy and paranoid at his worst. Sometimes his anger gets the better of him and he says things without thinking. But, that's what makes him human, with all his faults, flaws, and aspirations. There is so much more to him than being a jokester and if you don't understand that, you're not paying attention to what's happening during your time in the apartment. 

All of this is to say that it's not okay that he's mean to you in the apartment, but a lot of people tend to blow what he's doing out of proportion. If you are actively calling him throughout the day and listening to what he says, it is so obvious that he is lying through his teeth. He may be the best liar in the world when it comes to his work in the agency, but when it comes to you, he is the worst liar I have ever seen in my entire life.

He cannot hide how much he cares about you. When he thinks you're not eating he goes out of his way to make sure he orders every kind of sandwich imaginable just in case you have a picky palette. When you leave the apartment to get something for him, he gets upset with you, not because he's angry with you, but because he hates that you're not thinking of your safety when his brother could have really hurt you even if it hurts him to admit that. 

And, you know what happens in this phone call? He sees you crying and he immediately folds. It doesn't matter how frustrated he is with the fact that his life is built on a lie, he still wants to comfort you because you make him happy no matter how afraid he is to admit that.

When it comes down to it, he's just afraid of letting you into his life because the last time he had somebody close to him that he would do anything for, they suffered. He just watched what happened to his brother all because he cared about him and thought he could trust his brother with people who didn't give him a reason not to trust them. 

The only reason he tries to push you away is because he's afraid of you getting hurt like his brother. He can't stomach what happened to his brother as it is, but the thought of watching another person he loves suffering isn't something he can stand. If you work with him and give him the space he needs, then he'll apologize to you and realize that he can't live his life this way forever.

He can't deny himself happiness for the rest of his life just because he's afraid to make a leap. This call shows he can't lie about anything when it comes to you no matter how hard he tries. He could lie to the rest of the world but he could never lie to you. 

My favorite part is the way his voice trembles near the end of the phone call and he asks you if it's okay to Hold Your Hand despite everything. 

[impala124]

My thoughts are still all over the place after watching Eps 3&4 of Love in the big city. However, I thought of mentioning a few adaptation choices (not going into relationship dynamics) that stood out to me

The addition of the T-aras since the beginning was such a welcome surprise. Their presence at Mi Ae's wedding, cheering on Yeong and at the hospital after Yeong's suicide attempt made the scenes more palatable. In the original novel, Young was being laughed at by his batchmates while singing at Jaehee's wedding and had only his mother's words of "comfort" after waking up in the hospital. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I sat in silence for half an hour just to think about how lonely Young must've felt in those moments while reading the book. So in a way, I'm happy for the glow-up, because seeing those scenes play out the way it was described in the novel would've ruined me.

Another major difference I've noticed is that the storytelling in the series is done in a chronological order; we are following Yeong navigate life and relationships. In the book, Young tells us what's happening in his life at that moment and takes us back in time through recollection of his memories. There is something that is to be said about how knowing how a relationship ends tends to colour our perspective as to what all has transpired.

All this to say that the series is still biting, but it doesn't have the teeth to it that the novel has, which I appreciate because seeing the novel adapted word for word would've scarred me for life.

[smol-grey-tea]

We ain't mentioning that it's been more than a month since you originally tagged me @imsorrywhatsalifeagain

Tag game

Tag game: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better.

Last song: Currently, am curating a playlist for an oc of mine. Rn playing is Have it Out by Mother Mother, which I decided not to add.

Currently watching: At this present moment in time, I am watching: Hannibal the series, Doctor Who (hundredth rewatch), Pose, and American Horror Story

Three ships: Eri x Red x Lance, or even Faith x Red + Red x Lance. Like love triangle type of polycule w them. But everyone is dating in the Eri version. Umm, and Tei x therapy. But if we're not just talking about romantic ships, then Tei x Yuri. Idk what they have, but it's something

Favorite color: Reb

Currently consuming: Ummmm well the last thing I ate was a kakugiri ramen which was delicious. That was a fair few hours ago now tho n idk what my parents are gonna make for dinner. If they don't make something for me tho, I'll have a steak and gravy pie. Oh my god I can already smell the chips that would go really well with it.

It was quite difficult choosing what to eat for lunch: I was more craving a tom yum but it's in my routine to usually have the kakugiri, so I was conflicted..... Hell, we'll probably get the tom yum next time, all things considered

First ship: How'm I supposed to remember that, that woulda been ages ago............ I guess something I started shipping a long time ago would've been Jaehee and Zen?

Relationship status: I also am aroace. @alwaysminiatureking is me qpp, but want another relationship.....

Last Movie: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I guess What by Bo Burnham counts as a movie? But does it count if I barely watched it cuz I quickly fell asleep to it?

Currently working on: I'm doing a bunch of stuff. As mentioned, am going thru songs to put on an oc playlist. If you mean more in general tho, I'm downloading dvds, I'm writing both fanfic and original stories, I'm trying to move out, I'm knitting a scarf, and whatever. Tomorrow I'm going food festival in town <2

Tagging @alwaysminiatureking @aro-manita-muscaria @eternal-brainrot @silverfang6 @imaginaryskeleton @klavierpanda @harlequindaydream @thetricktofalling @deathdesu

[natasha-in-space]

Y'know, I didn't talk about it that much when it first came out, but it is so sweet to see some more content of Yoosung enjoying his life as a vet.

I think it's kind of understandable that it's often overlooked, since it wasn't as much of a focus on his route. By comparison, we do know a whole lot about hia love for cooking, and he actually shares this passion with us many times during the game. Therefore, seeing him suddenly become a vet can feel a bit out of pocket for the player. I wish we had a bit more content on that particular aspect of his. To expand on it a bit more than what we already have in canon. Even his previous birthday events and CG's didn't really mention it. The only content we do have is his Valentines dlc and his after ending. Which isn't all that much. Yoosung's image is probably one of a student, gamer, or adorable cook when you think of him. It'll be nice if his career choice as a vet fit into that category, too.

That said, I looove to think about all the potential details of this time in his life. It's also very sweet to see MC helping him out with some of his duties. After the events of his route, I always see his dynamic with his MC as very supportive and reliant on one another in things big and small. Like MC bringing him lunch to work, or Yoosung picking them up from their place of work/study in return. You're a team, and you work as a unit. So it is very cute to see it in action!

I like to think that Yoosung is the type of vet who tends to spoil his patients, sometimes to the extreme. Deciding to arrange a spa day for them was probably his idea too. Just because one of them just happened to need a bath on that say. So he figured, why not treat them all to new shiny coats and relaxing massages!? Participating in this chaos was only agreed upon by MC, of course. It's impossible to tell me otherwise - these two are a well-known power couple in the clinic.

Or, it's possible that this is their idea of a date on the weekend. It's easy for me to see that, particularly if his MC is a huge animal lover!

Being a vet can be a very stressful and demanding job. Yoosung has to deal with many unfortunate losses and pains caused to innocent animals who didn't do anything wrong and their loving owners. So it's probably such a huge source of positivity and motivation for him to just relax for a few hours and have fun with a bunch of furry patients. Focus on the lighthearted sound of laughter between him and his lover and happy noises of mischief from some rowdy pets. The sight of their wagging tails and slow blinks is a significant reminder of the reason behind his actions. And to have his partner there with him... Well, that's just a cherry on top of the cake!

They better not take any selfies after that, though, because with this many furry participants, they'd be covered in fur for sure. It won't make Zen and Jaehee very happy to see it in the chatroom.

Of course, they still do so anyways.

[erimeows]

Don't Tell

Jaehee Kang finds herself frustrated as she lies on her couch, in the dark, staring up at the ceiling. The house is quiet, minus the occasional gust of wind that echoes outside of her house. Her phone lies on the coffee table, buzzing- probably notifications from the RFA chatroom, but she can’t bring herself to check them right now.

She’s coming off of a terrible fight with you. You, her best friend. You, the person who helped her start her coffee shop. You, the only other person who works at the shop every hour it’s open during the day.

And, you, the person she’s had a crush on since the two of you met. 

You and Zen are getting closer. Anyone would be a fool not to notice it. You and Zen got along from the moment you joined the RFA, but lately, Jaehee can’t help but notice how you rush out of work to go hang out with Zen more than you used to, how you constantly address him in the chatrooms, how often you or the actor send selfies of the two of you hanging out together… And Jaehee sees him often, too. In fact, Zen is one of her closest friends aside from you. 

Jaehee knows that she isn’t in love with him. 

Sadly, she has no guarantee about your feelings.

So, whenever the subject comes up, Jaehee strongly discourages Zen from dating anyone- especially you- using whatever excuse she can come up with. Dating is bad for Zen’s career. Dating Zen would make him lose his fans. Dating Zen would make paparazzi and journalists target you for tabloid stories constantly. It would be a lose-lose situation.

But really, she would be the only one losing out. Zen would be happy, you would be happy, and his true fans would be loving and supportive of his new relationship. You’re great people who deserve each other… Jaehee just wants to be selfish with you, though. 

Every time she notices you and Zen getting a little too close, she interjects, and there seems to be no real consequences for it. Zen says he’d love to date but that he sees you as a friend, you say that you don’t have feelings for Zen, and the chat moves on.

This time, things went down differently.

You lost your mind, flipping out on Jaehee, telling her that your romantic feelings are none of her business. Telling her that Zen can date whoever he wants. And then, you told her to give you space and left the chat.

To Jaehee, your over the top reaction confirms your romantic feelings for Zen. So, she lies on her couch and ignores the messages that leave her phone incessantly vibrating on the coffee table- at least until there’s a knock on the door.

Jaehee quickly wipes her tears from her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater and goes to the front door. Upon peeking out the blinds of her living room window and seeing that it’s Zen with two paper bags of bungeoppang in hand, she opens it.

“Look, Jaehee,” Zen starts, a little awkward. He’s wearing a leather jacket and a grey t-shirt with ripped skinny jeans and sneakers. Jaehee notices his motorcycle parked in his driveway as he holds out one of the bagged fish buns to him. She assumes he must have picked it up on the stand by his house on the way to her’s. “I think we should talk.”

“Oh?” Jaehee hums, as if she’s oblivious to what Zen is wanting to discuss, because she can’t stand to be the first to bring up her exchange with you. She allows Zen inside and shuts and locks the door behind them. “What’s going on, Zen?”

“It’s about… The dating thing,” Zen answers as he sits down on the end of Jaehee’s couch and flicks the end table lamp on to shroud the room in warm light. Jaehee flushes with embarrassment upon realizing that he must have noticed she was just sitting in the dark before his arrival. “You know how you’ve been telling (y/n) not to date me because of my career?”

“Yes? I apologize, Zen. I don’t want to meddle in your personal life- I’m just worried about your career,” Jaehee explains, putting up a front for a moment. But then, she remembers… Zen is the only other person that knows about her feelings for you. He is a good friend, after all, so she confides in him about it often. “And, well… Perhaps this is selfish of me, but you’re aware of my feelings for (y/n). But of course, you two deserve to be happy and-”

“No, no, this isn’t about me. In fact, the only reason I’m talking to you about this is because I’m worried that, uh,” Zen clears his throat as Jaehee sits down on the couch next to him. He pauses, takes a bite of his fish bun, and uses his spare hand to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. “You may be giving (y/n) the wrong impression?”

Jaehee blinks and sets her own bagged bungeoppang down on the coffee table. With how angry you seemed at her in the chatroom, she can’t even consider eating tonight. Her stomach is churning far too much.

“What do you mean?”

“They totally think you’re in love with me.”

Jaehee blinks again.

“I’m sorry?”

“They think that you’re in love with me and jealous of them for spending time with me, and that’s why you keep telling them to avoid me,” Zen explains between bites of his snack. “I guess (y/n) and Seven had talked about it after you guys had that fight or something.”

Jaehee leans forward and holds her head in her hands.

The situation is even worse than Jaehee thought.

You think… That she’s in love with Zen.

Fuck.

“Oh dear…”

“So?” Zen questions. “What are you gonna do?”

“I have no idea,” Jaehee answers as she sits straight up and stares at the wall.

“What?” Zen demands, shocked. “You mean you’re not gonna tell (y/n) the truth?”

“I assumed they knew that I only saw you as a good friend.”

“Well, it’s not like you run around screaming it from the rooftops,” Zen shrugs.

“Does that mean I have to tell them the truth?”

“Not necessarily, but you probably should.”

Jaehee shakes her head. She’s potentially ruined your friendship by rejecting her unrequited (?) feelings onto you and Zen- the last thing she needs to do is go and dump a love confession onto you, too.

“Hm… Maybe not.”

~

Shortly after, Zen finishes his visit with Jaehee and goes to your apartment next.

If he can’t get Jaehee to confess to you, he’ll just get you to confess to Jaehee. The idea is perfect! The two of you will finally stop arguing about his love life (which neither of you know anything about), he’ll stop having to hear one of you in each ear venting to him about how your feelings aren’t reciprocated (they are), and most importantly, his two best friends will be happy and mutually in love.

But, when he arrives at your apartment to see that you’ve also been crying and sitting in the dark, he realizes that he’s bitten off more than he can chew.

Especially when he finds himself sitting on your couch and having the same discussion with you that he had with Jaehee- except, somehow, worse, because you’re far more stubborn and far less receptive to his advice than Jaehee is.

“(y/n), come on now, Jaehee being in love with me is just ridiculous,” Zen argues as he throws his hands up in frustration.

You sit on your living room couch with your arms crossed over your chest and a pouty look on your face.

“Is it really?”

“Yes?” Zen responds, flabbergasted by your insistence that Jaehee is in love with him and only argues that he shouldn’t date so that she can keep him to herself. “Her and I are only friends.”

“Just because you see her as a friend doesn’t mean she sees you in the same light, Zen,” You argue, and finally, something in Zen breaks.

On a normal night, he would never betray Jaehee’s trust by telling you about her feelings, but he’s so tired of watching the two of you pine after each other that he just can’t help it.

So, he comes out with it.

“Okay, I didn’t really want to do this, but both of you have put me in a terrible spot and I think if I have to hear either of you vent to me about the other not liking you one more time, I’m going to develop wrinkles from the stress,” Zen exclaims. “I’m dating Jumin, so I’m not on the market! Okay? Okay. And, if, in some weird alternate universe, she did like me, it wouldn’t be reciprocated. And finally, she’s very, very in love with you! You guys are literally like one of those Hallmark movies- coffee shop and all!”

You blink your pretty (e/c) eyes and uncross your arms. Your frustrated expression turns to one of complete shock.

“Wait… You’re dating Jumin?”

Zen groans and throws his hands up in frustration.

“That’s what you’re worried about out of everything I just told you!?” 

“Oh, right,” You pause, and then, a big, bright smile takes over your face. “Jaehee’s in love with me?”

“Yes!��

“Well, she’s not very good at making it obvious,” You chuckle.

“Don’t tell her I told you or she’ll never come to my shows again,” Zen says, covering his face with his hands.

He almost regrets confessing the truth to you. Hopefully you won’t go and rat him out to Jaehee…

“Yeah, don’t worry,” You grin, dismissing his concerns. “I won’t.”

“So, are you gonna tell her?” Zen asks.

You offer a shrug and a smirk in return.

“Yeah, I’ll figure it out.

Zen lets out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank God.”

~

Much to your surprise, despite the argument in the chatroom yesterday evening, you do gather the courage to go to open the coffee shop. Jaehee meets you an hour after opening, and the two of you get through the rush of customers grabbing their pre-work coffees whilst hardly speaking to each other.

It’s a little awkward. You can tell she wants to apologize and that she has something to say, but every time one of you tries to speak to each other throughout the day, you get interrupted by a new customer coming in wanting a baked good or a soothing drink. By the time closing rolls around, the shop calms down. You write a note, take it to the lounge, and stick it in her cubby.

‘I know there’s been a lot going on between us lately, especially after that chatroom the other night, but I’d like to make it up to you tonight and clear the air. I love you and I need you to know that- and I know I was mad but it was just a misunderstanding, and I get it now. Please, let’s meet after work and go grab dinner.’

You smile and turn to walk back to the shop to start the closing process, totally unaware that the note unsticks from where you posted it and falls onto the lounge floor. Minutes later, Jaehee goes into the lounge to grab a pen so she can take inventory, only to come out with the note in hand. You beam upon seeing her with it, only for your face to fall seconds later when you see that Jaehee looks upset.

Was Zen wrong? Does she not love you after all?

“(y/n)... I want you to be happy. If your happiness is being with Zen, then I give you my blessing,” Jaehee murmurs and pushes the note towards you. “I know this is for Zen, so… Please take it and give it to him. It must’ve fallen from your purse.”

At that, you blank- both overwhelmed by how sweet Jaehee is being, and pissed off at just how wrong she is.

“...Are you serious?”

“I’m sorry?”

“He was right? He was right,” You raise your voice and facepalm. “God, he must be so annoyed with us!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jaehee, this note was for you. I stuck it in your work cubby- it must have fell off or something. I’m an idiot for not signing it,” You raise your voice since there’s no customers in the shop. You’re angry at yourself, angry at Jaehee, and angry that the two of you could’ve been dating this entire fucking time. But, you manage to calm yourself down enough to lower your volume and explain your feelings to your partner. “I don’t have feelings for Zen. I’ve never had feelings for Zen, and I never will. He really is just a good friend.”

“...Oh,” At first, the soft sunkissed color from Jaehee’s face drains. Then, it’s replaced with a deep, rosy pink. You can see the facts sink in; the realization that flashes across her golden eyes, the blush on her cheeks, the slight quiver in her lip as she struggles to gather the right words to say to you. “Now I’m… Rather embarrassed.”

“I’m really embarrassed,” You respond with a nervous laugh.

“I do love you. I mean, I’m in love with you,” Jaehee rushes to reassure you. Her face is bright red- even redder than when she watches some of Zen’s racier performances, even redder than when the shop is going through its morning rush and the two of you are working hard to keep up with the customer’s demands. “Though I assume Zen informed you of that fact?”

“He told me not to tell you, but uh, yeah, he did. Regardless, that’s not what’s important, because him telling me the truth is the only reason I have the courage to do this,” You gently pull the note from Jaehee’s hands, toss it into the trash, and walk back to her so you can intertwine her fingers with your own. Then, you slowly lean forward and press a gentle kiss against Jaehee’s lips. The flavor of coffee and chocolate mixed together stays on your lips as you pull back and offer her a small smile. “So don’t be too mad at him.”

At that, Jaehee flashes her bright, beautiful smile back at you and reaches forward to fix the collar of your shirt.

“I suppose I could never stay mad at him for too long anyway, but… Would you still be interested in dinner after we close up shop?”

You laugh.

“Only if you let me treat you to something nice for once.”

Jaehee nods, and with that, the two of you get to work closing down the coffee shop, your first kiss still lingering in the back of your mind.

[chcrryade]

⠀⠀˚⠀DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?⠀ ┉ ┉ ⠀None of them wanted this. Doyeon has to try and live with it anyway.

INCLUDING ⁺⠀kil doyeon, cherryade ensemble, jaguar staff. TIMESTAMP ⁺⠀NOVEMBER 2022—APRIL 2023. WARNINGS ⁺⠀swearing, (mentions of) fighting, drinking. WORD COUNT ⁺⠀5K NOTE ⁺⠀you don’t even know how much this made me want to end it all near the start.. WE FINALLY DID IT THOUGH! and im rly happy with it!!! i love u kil doyeon

Doyeon knew who JUST4U were.

Who in South Korea didn’t? You knew them even if you had absolutely no desire to. Their fame had stretched to all corners almost inevitably: their features were instantly recognisable, their name rolled off the tongue so easily it was hard to not to get it stuck in your head, and one of their many songs had almost certainly featured in some retail store in every city in every district, at least once. They’d even made it to Doyeon’s dead-end town, a poster of one of the perfume endorsements they’d done plastered on their singular bus stop’s wall. He’d stared them in the face every day while waiting to be picked up, and occasionally he’d daydream about what life must’ve been like in a city so far away.

(Which, retrospectively, was a little dramatic. Seoul was barely two hours away by train. He could’ve made a weekend trip of it, and just never thought to do so. Never thought he’d be allowed to do so).

Anyway. Back then. Bus stop. Daydreams. None of the above compared to how he knew JUST4U now. Now that they were about ten metres away from him (and, as it looked to be, everyone else in the company) right in the middle of the lobby, shouting and swearing at one another, looking nearly on the verge of getting physical.

Na Yeseul, platinum blonde dyed tresses whipping around her shoulders with every vigorous movement of her arms and dark purple lipstick painting every curse word she spat nectarine, raised an arm as if she was going to backhand Choi Insu across the face, before it then dove into her purse. Doyeon stepped a little closer to Daejin, a hand curling loosely around the producer’s forearm.

“You don’t think she’s got a…”

He trailed off, but it was obvious what he was referring to. Of course he didn’t really believe she had a weapon, however small, but the movement was so recognisable from all of the action and gangster movies Jaehee could never stop watching that it got him scared, just for a moment.

Daejin’s gaze of gentle judgement burned into the side of his face, but the dancer still couldn’t stop staring at the ongoing argument. “‘Yun. Be realistic, for a minute.”

Still, despite the light-hearted reality check, the producer also leaned in to nudge Doyeon’s shoulder with his own, and curled his hand up to squeeze the palm grabbing at him. In front of them, Insu let out a loud, unsettling laugh, throwing his head back with it. The scene felt very action-and-gangster-movie-like. Quite exciting, really. The leader’s gaze slid along to where Jaehee was watching wide-eyed, Minhui jumping up and down with both of his hands on his shoulders; looking like he was seconds from choosing a side and cheering them on, and felt a smile grow on his face, before a loud yell of “You cunt!” snatched his attention straight back to the main event.

“What are they even fighting about, anyway?” His words were a murmur, tapping at Daejin’s arm in case he hadn’t been heard. He’d been late to the scene, too busy practising alone, and had only found out there was a scene at all because Hasun had come running in with the news, an excited spark in his eyes that made him look like the child he never really got the chance to be.

In his peripheral vision, he saw the producer shrug. “The reunion interviewer, I think. That’s what I got from Joosun-hyung. He ignored Yeseul-noona. Or maybe made a pass at her? Or did he make a pass at Insu-hyung? It’s sort of a mix-and-match of both those things. Anyway, it started from there, and then it spiralled. You’d think after six years away from one another they would’ve buried the hatchet.”

Doyeon didn’t think any sort of burying was in the forefront of either of their minds. They seemed to be producing more and more hatchets out of thin air with the sole intention of throwing them straight at one another, if anything. 

But it couldn’t last forever. Someone would have to step in eventually. Not that anyone seemed particularly keen to do so, at the moment. Even the secretary at the front desk had abandoned her post (where, should she had stayed, she would’ve had a front-row seat that Doyeon almost envied) and was now standing in the doorway used for deliveries, a nail file in her hands that she was paying more attention to than the fight. The CEO seemed like the obvious choice to do the mediating, but as it stood, Ae Seungdae was standing in the prime position—obviously a few metres away, but still right in the middle of the two—and.. Clapping? Fist pumping? Whatever the hand gestures were, they looked to be more of encouragement than attempts to stop the shouting. Doyeon almost admired it. 

“Hyung,” a voice came from behind him, and the leader almost jumped out of his skin. Whipping his head around, he was faced with Yijun standing from where he’d been leaning against one of the walls and walking forward, away from where Daejin and Doyeon were. A phone was pressed to his ear, and Doyeon knew eavesdropping was generally looked down upon, but.. It was Yijun. He justified his decision by telling himself it would help him get to know the rapper just a tiny bit better. Or at all, really. His attention was fully diverted from the has-beens for the first time since he’d been dragged down into the lobby, although he kept his eyes facing forward so as not to raise suspicion.

“You’ve gotta get here, like, now! It’s so funny, really.. Yeseul-noona and Insu-hyung are back at it again. Youngshik-hyung looks like he’s about to either burst into tears or start jumping for joy, I can’t decide.”

Whoever he was talking to must’ve declined the offer, because Yijun groaned down the phone, eyes rolling and shoulders slumping. It was the most Doyeon had seen him express an emotion that wasn’t anger (or at least irritation) for more than five seconds. He was reeling.

“Hyeonmin-ah. Hyung. Please? I thought I was your favourite.”

Hyeonmin. The name rang a bell, but he couldn’t remember where from. It didn’t come to him until Yijun had stalked off across the lobby floor, the rest of his conversation lost to the sound of screams and laughter, the general buzz of everyone in the room. Hyeonmin. Oh Hyeonmin. One of Yijun’s old members, like Jaehee. Except he hadn’t made the CHERRYADE cut, for whatever reason. 

Doyeon thought of the playful whine in Yijun’s tone. “Hyung.” The disappointment that pulled at his sharp features when he was denied. Huh. It was something to dwell on, to turn over his head for just a little longer. 

But for now, seeing as no one was going to stop the once-duo—the duo that he’d longed to know, years and years ago—anytime soon, carrying on watching the fight of the year (in his opinion, anyway) was far closer to the top of his list of priorities. He slumped a little onto Daejin, making the producer hold half of his weight, grinning when he felt the half-hearted glare directed at the side of his face again, and got comfortable.

December hit. Jaehee insisted on buying every tin of hot chocolate powder he set eyes on. Minhui wouldn’t be caught dead without wearing a fluffy coat of some sort. He heard more curses on Yijun’s name then he saw the boy himself. Haeil was putting Baileys in every beverage he drank. Jalen bought himself an advent calendar and, after seeing how much Hasun was eyeing it every morning, bought one for him too. Hasun had cried when he got it, though he’d pretended he wasn’t, and Minhui had cracked up over the sight of it (although his laughter was followed by over-the-top babying, as was any of his interactions with the maknae). 

December hit. Doyeon was starting to get worried. Wouldn’t anyone? Eight months since their last comeback, eight months since they’d been on stage, and maybe seven since they’d been out—doing things, promoting things, having fun even if they were exaggerating every laugh for the sake of the camera. Four months since Jalen’s interview, the one he was excited for even if he protested vehemently against that fact, the one where he told the interviewer that they hadn’t heard much on the schedule side of things. Doyeon never thought he’d long for a makeup artist to plaster his cheeks in foundation two shades too light and for the familiar burn of hair dye to singe his roots, but a faint itch was starting to settle under his skin. A want. 

One that he probably couldn’t do anything about.

He’d sat with that probably for days, tossing it over and over in his head. Trying to come to terms with it, to accept it as fact, and only getting frustrated when it just wouldn’t settle, refusing to leave. Like something stuck in his throat, a nagging feeling he couldn’t shake.

All that was rational was shaking him by the shoulders, striking him across the cheek, watching the pale skin stain red. Eight months. Maybe even eight months more. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll have to listen to the crying, and the door slamming, and clean the bottles from the kitchen, and forget your card pin because you know your account’s getting emptier, and you’ll just have to shrug your shoulders. What can you do about it? You, of all people?

Everything else was kicking and screaming, his heart tearing itself out of his chest to protest. I don’t want to listen, or clean, or forget. I’ve done enough of that. All of that. I want to do something. I don’t want eight months more—I don’t want one month more, even. I know I can’t do much, but I want to do this. Let me. Let me!

No answer came. And, similarly, no schedules did, either. They’d all noticed, but no one had come to him and brought it up yet. Yijun probably would’ve been the first to make a scene, but.. Well. You knew something was up when you’d been seeing Kil Jiyeol more than your own group member for the past few weeks. So it had stayed stagnant, kicked underneath the carpet, the album cover-shaped elephant in the apartment.

Until Minhui broke first, dragging Haeil along with him. Doyeon paused from where he was rummaging around in the fridge, not turning his head but waiting. Waiting for them to confirm his suspicions out loud, seeing as he hadn’t been able to muster up the courage even when it was only him alone in his bedroom. 

“Hyung,” Minhui began. He sounded as blunt as ever, but the lighter edge was gone.

“Minhui-yah,” Doyeon answered, and swallowed around nothing. His hand felt shaky when he came to grip the glass jug full of water. “What is it?”

“You know what it is.”

That he did. He pressed a hand to his forehead, tried to swallow once more and winced when it felt harder this time around, and closed the fridge door. He didn’t turn around. Not yet. “I.. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know—but I want to know, Minhui, I really do. I’m just as happy about this as you are. As any of us are.”

It was then he turned on his heel to face them, to show better than he could ever say how he was feeling. He locked eyes with Minhui first, the dancer perched atop the kitchen island with Haeil slumped into one of the stools beside it. Sitting with his arms and legs crossed, the childlike pose was a stark difference from the expression on his face. They stayed in their stalemate until, surprisingly, Haeil was the one to break it.

“Why don’t you just.. Ask?”

When two pairs of eyes turned to him, he hunched in himself; shoulders drawing up as if anticipating a slap. “I only mean.. Because, you know. Daejin-hyung, and stuff. You’re close, aren’t you? Or at least Joosun-hyung. He’s been here the longest.”

It made sense. Sort of. They were close, sure, but how much say would a producer have in the grand scheme of things? Most likely not a lot, usually, but.. He may have had a point with Joosun. He had been here the longest, almost since the beginning. Or rather, the beginning of the new JAGUAR. It was admittedly better than nothing, and he stayed quiet for a few seconds more to think it over a little longer. 

“I’ll try,” was what he finally decided on, opening his mouth again to get another few words in before they could jump in. “But don’t get your hopes up. Please. I don’t want to..” Let you down. He couldn’t really bring himself to say it, voice trailing off and eyes drifting off to the corridor behind the two instead of meeting either of their eyes.

“I think if anyone could get us some actual work, it’d be you, hyung. But yeah, we won’t expect to be shoved into a recording booth by next week, or anything. Should we tell the others?”

Minhui’s eyes were wider, looking far more alive than they had earlier, awaiting Doyeon’s response. But telling the rest meant there’d be more he’d have to risk letting down, even if Minhui had just told him he’d be fine, with Haeil giving a silent nod of assent beside him. But—no. Not yet. He said as much to the pair before him.

“I’ll tell Jalen. The rest.. Later.” He threw a half-hearted attempt at a joke in afterwards, with a weak laugh to try and make it a little more convincing. “Yijun would have to be here for any of us to tell him. Where even is he these days?”

Haeil rolled his eyes, Minhui snickered to himself, and neither of them answered his question. Doyeon took that as an answer unto itself. Maybe it was better he didn’t know.

The duo left the kitchen not long after that, Haeil out the door with a lighter in one hand and Minhui back to his bedroom, and Doyeon finally turned back to the fridge. He poured himself a glass of water, sat at the island, and stared into nothing for a long, long while; drink untouched, fingertip tapping nearly-silently on the marble. It wasn’t until the sun had set that he finally moved. Mind a little clearer, a sort-of plan set in place, a rough script of what he was going to say to Daejin, and to Joosun, in his head.

A starting point, if nothing else.

The new year came and went. They’d stayed in—most of them, anyway. Minhui had gone to a friend’s, said something about setting off fireworks and playing Dance Dance Revolution, and Hasun had gone home for a week or two, Eunhee coming to pick him up without sparing a second look at any of the rest of them. The remaining five ended up congregating in the living room and sitting in the dark, watching the city from the window. Yijun was glued to his phone in the corner, hiding it from anyone who dared to even try to peek (and, as usual, especially from Jaehee, who almost got a foot to the face for his nosiness). Doyeon turned his own phone off and left it in his room, nestling into a corner of the sofa and pretending not to notice how close Jalen and Haeil were sitting—how their faces almost brushed whenever they turned to whisper something into the other’s ear—while savouring every small sip he took of his Buck’s Fizz, raising an arm for Jaehee to cram himself under after having gotten over his ten minutes spent sulking and recovering from his nearly-injury. It was.. Nice. The nicest the atmosphere had been for a while. A chance for him to put off his impending responsibility for a little while longer.

The deflection didn’t work for much longer. It was his own guilt that gave him the push he needed to get on with it—and maybe Haeil’s empty stares whenever they passed one another in the apartment, saying everything without a single word leaving his lips, helped a little as well. He could be so haunting sometimes, Doyeon hated the chills it gave him. 

So there he was, face-to-face with the door of Daejin’s studio. It had felt weird entering the company building after not seeing it for.. Going on four months. He’d taken to renting out studio rooms when he wanted to dance, unsure if he’d be able to stomach entering the practice rooms with the weight of all the things he wasn’t there to do laying heavy on his shoulders the whole time. His hand went for the doorknob, but faltered halfway and he reached to knock instead. A slightly muffled call for him to come in reached his ears, and he slowly pushed the door open.

“What do you—Doyeon! I haven’t seen you since..” He trailed off, and Doyeon didn’t know what he was so apprehensive about filling the gap with. Since the fight. Since you got stuck in a hiatus you didn’t know about. Since you started doing nothing even though you didn’t want to. Whatever it was, Daejin brushed it away with a palm gesturing through the air, putting the unspoken words out of mind. “It’s been a while, that’s all. What’s up?”

“I need to talk to Joosun-hyung about something. Or rather, I need to ask him something. I guess I just wanted to know if you think.. If what I’m doing makes sense.”

Daejin leaned back in his chair, the dark leather creaking with the movement, and spread his arms out either side of him. “Hit me.”

Doyeon did as asked, trying not to feel too stupid while the words spilled out of his mouth. He knew it was something he wanted, something they all wanted, but the embarrassment still made itself present on his cheeks, the nape of his neck heating up uncomfortably underneath his hoodie. Coming from his mouth, it sounded more like a plan a child would come up with and present in a mess of coloured crayons and star stickers than anything else. Still, Daejin listened to every word.

“That.. Actually makes sense. I think you could get somewhere with that, especially if he lets it slip to Jitae first. Good on Haeil-ah for coming up with it!” Daejin praised while Doyeon gulped in lungfuls of air, having spit out everything he’d been mulling over in one single go. “Joosun-hyung’s downstairs on a smoke break—or, he was when I last saw him. Good luck! And tell me how it goes afterwards!”

He dutifully promised the producer he’d do just that, and then left the studio again; head feeling a little cloudy, feet staying stuck to the carpeted corridor as if unsure of where he should head to next. But he was so close he could practically taste it, now, and the split-second memory of Minhui and Haeil staring back at him in the kitchen again was all the encouragement he needed to march to the end of the hallway and shoulder open the fire escape door, descending the stairwell with as much speed as he could muster up; footsteps echoing off the walls all around him.

As he went, he began to idly draft an imaginary script of the conversation he would soon have to have, as if writing a play. Admittedly he’d never been all that good at anything drama-related, but his imagination could get overactive when it wanted to. Nevermind whether he wanted it to or not, of course.

The curtain rises on a dreary January mid-morning, focusing in on two figures outside the JAGUAR company building—the side nearest the cluster of restaurants and taller office blocks that close in on it on most sides. One is smoking, sunglasses over his eyes (despite the lack of sun to protect them from), with unruly hair sticking up all over the place in a clear just-woke-up way rather than anything intentional. The other is pulling alternately at his own fingers and the drawstrings of his hoodie, the hood of which has been pulled hastily over hair with two-month-old roots sprouting from the crown—hair he would rather only be seen by as little people as he could help. There’s nothing but the sound of ash burning until the non-smoker cracks his knuckles once more and breaks the silence.

DOYEON⠀So, er, Joosun-hyung. I wanted to—talk. To you.

JOOSUN (he turns his head, and gives DOYEON a slightly bemused look)⠀Talk, then?

DOYEON⠀Right. Sorry. I don’t know why I.. I think this cold is really freezing my brain.

JOOSUN⠀Wrapping up warmer might help. Aren’t you cold?

DOYEON (unconvincingly)⠀Not at all.

JOOSUN (rolling his eyes)⠀Sure. Hurry up and say what you want to say already.

DOYEON⠀I just wanted to ask if you think—If you would— (he’s floundering, struggling to find the words and continues to for a few moments until a final question bursts out of him) Can you help us have a comeback?

JOOSUN stares. His cigarette falls from his fingers, down to the concrete beneath them. Silence once more. Cars rush by, the two continue to stare, the curtain falls.

By the time he’d reached its end, cold air was hitting his face and the smell of smoke was evident. Doyeon looked up only to find Joosun already staring right at him.

He took another deep inhale, trying to put off the fact it was probably half made-up of second-hand smoke, and straightened his shoulders before starting to speak. It was just a matter of following his own made-up script, was all. Easy.

The curtain has not yet risen again, but words are still heard from behind them. Hesitant, as if he’s choosing them carefully, but words all the same.

JOOSUN (after an extended pause)⠀You’re crazy. And Haeil-ah is too. All of you are, what the fuck? But.. Yeah, ‘Yun, I’ll help you. I’ll see what I can do.

Alcohol, hair dye, dance, and Minhui largely made up the February-March stretch. His birthday was the clearest memory he had of the two-month-long blur, even if that night was arguably the one he drank the most. Everyone was there, in the apartment that had been forcefully made into a home, and he was deciding he’d had enough every five minutes, and someone had dug out a disco ball that was hurting his eyes, and Yijun had taken one disgusted look at his roots and yelled over whatever house remix of something or other that Jiyeol had made Jalen bump up to the top of the queue for him: “Hyung! I’m dying those for you, like, ASAP. It hurts me to look at them,” and Doyeon had nearly burst into tears on the spot. Out of gratitude. Out of shock. Out of too many Mojitos and not enough courage to do it himself.

The dance and Minhui went hand-in-hand. It started when he asked if he could join him on one of his rented studio hours, which was easy enough to agree to, and then before he knew it once a week they were running through all the choreos they knew and making up the ones they didn’t, freestyling to each other’s playlists and collapsing onto one another exhausted after the music had ended. They always grabbed food afterwards, taking turns to pay, and Doyeon felt the most normal he had in.. A while. The routine was comforting, grounding. And most of all, it was fun. He never failed to crack a smile on any of their outings, fondness feeling as it was pouring out of his chest. He supposed he and Minhui were sort of similar, in a way. They had both come from somewhere else alone, built into the seven as the lone once-idols. Granted, Minhui’s old group was far more successful than Slow Motion ever were, but still.

Doyeon had no idea if he had any of the same sort of effect on Minhui—he doubted it, although he held the few times he’d made him crack up laughing close to his heart—but he was glad for him all the same. Glad he’d reached out, even if it was just to try and stop Doyeon from looking so blank all of the time rather than for his own desire for some company. 

They never brought up Joosun’s answer, although as soon as he’d rushed back up the company stairwell to tell Daejin of the good news (and stayed there for a while longer for the celebratory jumping around and yelling and then eventual catch-up conversation the producer wanted to have afterwards) the pair that had confronted him first were the second to know as soon as he got back to the apartment. It’d been two months of nothing, after all, and neither wanted to face the fact that the ‘don’t get your hopes up’ message was ringing a little too true.

The other five had been doing fine over the last couple of months also—as far as Doyeon could tell, anyway. Jaehee had started to teach Hasun how to cook, even if he himself was rusty (resulting in a few occasions where the smoke alarm started screeching and, in return, the others started screeching as well), Yijun was back to staying in the apartment most of the time (taking to locking himself in his room whenever someone got on his nerves, rather than booking it out of the front door), and Jalen had slowly got back into his music-making—he’d stopped not too long after the reunion fight and the not-confirmed-but-obvious-hiatus they’d been put on, not stating anything but lack of inspiration as his reason, but Doyeon had always thought it was more than that. Not that he’d ever gone the extra step and asked. He’d had a suspicion that would've only made him clam up more, and that was something he didn’t really want to risk.

All in all, they’d coped. Sort of. It was the best they were going to get at it, anyway. They were creeping up to April, now, and the more he thought about it the more sick he felt. So he of course opted for the far easier option—forgetting all about it. He took the calendar off of the corkboard in the kitchen, replaced it with one of Haeil’s quick sketches he’d found on the back of an old receipt. He danced twice a week, once with Minhui and once without. He took himself to lunch, and Jalen to dinner. He let Jaehee shove a controller into his hands and played whatever gun game he chose until his eyes were blurry and his head ached. Maybe it was madness finally catching up to him, the months upon months of feeling so lifeless finally put to an end. Maybe he just didn’t care. All Doyeon knew was that he hadn’t felt this good since he was being crammed into tacky stage outfits and filmed doing whatever the people behind the camera told him to do for most hours of the day.

On the very first day of April, though, his—all of theirs—new normal was thrown on its head. Just as they’d been finding a rhythm, learning to live with it all. He was woken up by a banging on his bedroom door, sun barely risen enough to spill through the cracks in his curtains. 

He flung a hand out to reach for his phone. The screen read 5:42, and Doyeon wanted to die. Stumbling out of bed was only slightly harder than opening his eyes, and by the time he reached the door and yanked it open his vision had gotten a little clearer. Although, when he saw who was on the other side, he had to blink twice to make sure it wasn’t an apparition conjured up in a dream. Or a nightmare, depending on how you looked at it.

It was none other than Hong Jaeyoung was staring back at him for the first time in over a year, eyes flat and disinterested as they’d always been, suit ironed down to the last wrinkle, his lemon yellow tie the only pop of colour about him. Doyeon almost stumbled backwards, mouth opening with no words coming out. Jaeyoung only raised an eyebrow in return.

“Did you not hear me the first time? I said get up. You wanted this, didn’t you? Not gonna be a good look if you all turn up late.”

You wanted this, didn’t you? Did he mean..? No. Surely not. While Doyeon was still floundering, the early morning chill stark against his bare legs, the manager rolled his eyes, half turning on his heel before turning back to confirm his suspicions. His hopes.

“Yes, idiot, you’re getting your jobs back. For now. Maybe not if you’re not in the car by six.”

And with that he was gone, turning to deliver a sharp kick to Jaehee’s door on the way. Doyeon walked out from his doorway and looked down the hallway, Hasun meeting his gaze with similarly wide eyes. Silence lagged on between them before a spark of mischief lit up in the maknae’s eyes.

“I’ll race you, hyung!”

He was taking off full-speed the second the words left his lips, and Doyeon was frozen on the spot. Before—laughter. He just couldn’t stop laughing, shoulders heaving and tears springing to his eyes. Laughter at the suddenness of the news, at Hasun’s antics, at the feeling of the weight of the world finally being shoved off of his shoulders. He felt free, even if really he was about to start being the opposite for the first time in over a year.

Still unable to stop the little giggles from his laughing fit, Doyeon gave chase to Hasun down the corridor, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Free. Not really, of course, but.. It was more than good enough for him. For all of them.

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 1

Trigger Warnings: None

Weeks had gone by and it was nearly December. The wolves had changed in who they were. Jeongin became a tougher alpha and spent many weeks training to his full potential, but he also learned to be a better mate to Y/N. He was still making it up to her. Seungmin was still as cocky as ever and spent more time researching the dark side of werewolf lore in case they ended up in a tragic situation again. Felix was sensitive if not more sensitive after what happened and felt more protective of all the wolves so he offered to take part in more training, unlike Jisung who became glued to the side of Y/N. Jisung was far too in love with Y/N and loved to express that as he helped her around the house. Jisung made sure to always tell her she looked beautiful and made a point to kiss her scar first before her lips. Changbin was now on a course to look after werewolves as his sister Jaehee realised how useless Changbin was at saving his own omega. Changbin wasn't great but he could now stitch a minor cut. Minho on the other hand grew colder, he was hurting the most out of all of them. He still did his usual stuff but stayed out of debates and never gave his opinion. Him and Y/N were still not alright. They never spoke to each other unless it was a 'good morning' or a 'thank you'. Minho lost a lot of trust with Y/N and some of the others, but her words cut deep and he wasn't on the path of forgiveness yet. Hyunjin had gone back to his cold self and spent time in his art room, but still made time for Y/N.Chan had woken up but was bedridden as his ribs were still not healing but he was fine. He was pissed for the first twenty-four hours when he found out about Y/N's mission of death, but he got over it, knowing she was fine. He was happier when she came in to look after him, he appreciated her omegaing him but he knew it was tiring her out because she too was slowly healing.

Then there was Y/N she healed eventually but was still bandaged up. Spiritually she was damaged and Hyunjin's soul was trying to repair hers but it was too exhausting for him so she asked him to stop. Y/N wasn't as active as she had liked to be but still made a point to get up and see her wolves, despite Jisung being stuck to her. Not one of them had asked her about that night and it almost became a taboo subject. It was almost silently forbidden to be discussed. Y/N wanted to bring it up to apologise but when she did they would wave her off and tell her it's fine. Still, she knew Minho and Jeongin were the two she massively owed an apology to, but getting them alone was going to be harder. Minho was going to be her biggest challenge but she was going to start off strong by writing him a letter in case he refused to hear her apology and then giving him the flowers. By flowers, she meant the ones she picked from the garden and put into the vase after she turfed out the others. When Y/N came back into the kitchen she saw Minho prepping dinner. He was aware she walked into the kitchen and usually, he doesn't speak unless she speaks first. Y/N had to admit she felt incredibly nervous speaking to him and it was mainly because she hated hearing what she had done wrong. Y/N knew and understood her actions but hearing them made her slightly uncomfortable and defensive. "Minho?" Y/N called as she stood there awkwardly watching him. "Hmm?" Minho acknowledged her but did not look at her so Y/N decided he was comfortable with whatever she was going to say. "I wanted to say I'm sorry okay? Just hear me out and don't say anything. I only want you to listen." Y/N waited for him but he said nothing, making her roll her eyes. "I am sorry for not being grateful for your efforts. I know you worked hard to help and you did more than what I realised and I appreciate that. I guess I wanted to help and, anyway that's not the point. Forget that part. The main thing I wanted to apologise was for using your insecurity against you. I know it was low and I didn't mean it. I'm not good at apologies so I picked some flowers and wrote a letter of apology which I want you to read."

Y/N almost cursed herself at her botched apology. She completely messed it up but there was nothing she could do now except leave the letter on the table and leave him alone, which she did. Y/N left the kitchen and was about to head up to see Chan when Changbin entered the room in his medical clothes. Y/N greeted the beta with a gentle hug which Changbin was grateful for. Y/N knew Changbin wasn't really enjoying the hospital work and studying with his sister, he would rather be at the gym and then play his x-box. Changbin threw his bag down and kicked on his shoes while holding Y/N as he nuzzled her face against his, before pecking her lips. "Shall we go nurse Channie?" Y/N giggled as she kissed him again. "Let me unwind baby and then I'll come right up," Changbin whispered. Y/N nodded and headed up to see Chan who was idly staring up at the ceiling. It made Y/N laugh at how bored he looked. He was completely fed up with being stuck in the bedroom but his right leg was struggling to heal. "Felix said he might take my stitches out soon," Y/N said as she walked over to him and sat on his bed. Chan smiled up at her as he reached for her hand to hold. He loved it when she came to visit him. Admittedly, Chan sometimes got lonely since he was cooped up in the same four walls. "I want to tell you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way baby. You know I love you." Chan said softly. "Oh no. Uh. Uh. Whatever it is Mr alpha I ain't doing it." Y/N answered as she bopped his nose like a child. "I'm being serious, baby," Chan said causing Y/N to frown. Why was he being so serious? "I know you are feeling incredibly anxious because you are feeling unclaimed and I know I haven't claimed you fully because I wanted to wait until you could trust me and your body was fully healed, but I know at the moment I'm not going to be in any position to do a while and I don't want you to feel unstable in my pack. We all love you, despite the conflicts we do. Which is why I had a chat with Jeongin and I want him to claim you." Chan stated. "No. Jeongin is fuming with me and besides I am completely fine. I'm not feeling anxious, or disconnected in any way. I want to wait. I want you, besides you could lay there." Y/N hinted with a smirk as she pulled his duvet cover down. Chan rolled his eyes nonchalantly. "Baby. Jeongin is over it, if anything it's Minho that's going to take a while. He accepts what you have said but he doesn't forgive easily. Besides Jeongin wants to ease your anxiety." Chan cooed. "I want you Channie to be the first. I don't care how long we have to wait for your leg to get better. Besides Seungmin can keep up." Y/N stated. "My love. What did I do to deserve you." Chan cooed, his heart swelling with pride. As much as he wanted to be the first his mark was already there and she needed to feel settled. "Ya, let's play doctors and nurses," Changbin shouted as he kicked the door open. "Fuck sake," Chan muttered.

Taglist for the iconic readers

@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 o @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627 @tsunderelino @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @hyunmikim @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @reallychaoticwoo @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx

[mystic-headcanons]

i have a few asks that i'm working on, but i got this idea and it would not leave my head T_T saeran deserves the absolute world <3

-

saeran was cold. the room wasn't cold and the heater was on full blast, but as saeran laid there, an empty chasm, he was cold. healing was not a linear process. there are ups and downs, good days and bad days. and there are also really bad days, where all saeran can do is lay in bed and overthink. where all of the voices of all of his persons feel like claws gripping his throat, where the possibility of someday becoming betters seems more and more distant. its these days where he is saeranrayunknown, where he doesn't know which personality is truly him. saeran is no stranger to these types of days-- the first month of him coming off of the elixir was the most excruciating, both physically and mentally. he wasn't kind to anyone around him, and he certainly wasn't kind to himself. however, with the support of his lover and his brother-- and also the therapist that jumin recommended-- saeran began his healing process. still. the bad days don't go away, and saeran had never been more aware of that as he laid in bed, eyes blankly staring at the ceiling.

there was no hunger. no thirst. no discomfort. only blank, empty, dark nothingness. it was that state that she found him in. saeran felt the room become warmer, felt the light she emitted. his eyes immediately found hers-- they always did, no matter what. understanding dawned on her as she saw saeran's state, and she slowly- like she was approaching a wild animal -made her way to him. "bad day?" she quietly asked, carding her fingers through his hair with such gentleness that it brought tears to his eyes. all saeran could do was give an imperceptible nod. "...one moment." her voice was nothing but kind as she got up and left the room again. he could hear her quiet, gentle voice and then after a beat, the warm, low voice of his brother. a few minutes passed. or maybe it was hours. weeks. months. saeran didn't know- all he knew was the emptiness he felt, the chill that ran bone-deep.

eventually, she stepped back in and took his hand. "come." she said, giving his hand a light tug. it took every ounce of saeran's strength to force himself into an upright position, and he had to lean on her to walk. (lean on her like he has every time he stumbled in the past. she remained as she always did, an unwavering pillar of strength.) they walked through the hallway, passing by the kitchen where saeyoung was doing-- something. saeran couldn't tell, couldn't lift his eyes from the ground. she led him into the bathroom, where the faint scent of lavender hung and flower petals floated in the full bathtub. "let's get you out of this, hm?" she said as she started to undress him. shame colored his face, but saeran couldn't find the strength to do it himself. couldn't find the strength to do anything more than stand there and let her take care of him, like she always has. (at her core, that is who she is. the caretaker, the pillar of strength, the shoulder to cry on. saeran thinks she is the strongest person he knows, to be able to carry him and others when they could no longer carry themselves. how many nights had saeyoung cried to her? yoosung? zen? jaehee? jumin, even? and yet, she never wavered. was always there with open arms and a kind smile and kinder words. she is nothing short of an angel.) and though saeran knew she was doing all of this because she truly loved him, he couldn't help but let the negative thoughts swirl around. how long until she grew tired of him? of his bad days? of taking care of him? how long until she saw him for what he truly was-- weak, frail, nothing?

she helped him into the bath before kneeling on the floor, reaching for the shampoo. "not that this will fix everything," she began as she lathered his hair, "but this always makes me feel a little better. our burdens are easier when we let other people help us carry them, no? and i'm here to help you carry yours, my love. it's okay if you don't feel up to speaking, just let me take care of you." the gentle way she washed his hair, the kindness in her voice, her unwavering love, all of it made saeran burst into tears. he had never been loved quite like this before, never had someone to hold him when he was feeling low and piece him back together when he fell apart. because that's what she did- when saeran broke into pieces, she took those pieces and put him back together, her love shining through his cracks. she is written deep in his bones, all over his heart. like he existed only to love her.

she let him cry, never stopping her soothing movements. for a while, all that there was was his soft cries and her low, comforting humming. after his hair, she moved on to lightly wash his body, nothing but care in her movements. saeran could not remember the last time he felt so fragile, or the last time he felt so loved.

it went on like that. after she washed him, she helped him out of the bath and into a warm towel. she got him his softest clothes, brushed through his hair with the gentlest motions, held him with the lightest touch. saeran clung to her once he was dressed, his arms immediately going around her waist. "i don't deserve you." his voice was muffled by her shirt, and he felt her shake her head. "nonsense." she replied. "you deserve everything." and she said that so matter-of-factly, like there wasn't any room for argument. "won't you tire of this? of taking care of me?" "never ever. i will always be here to pick you up and to hold you together."

it was easier to stand on his own two feet now; his body and his mind were both still heavy, but he could finally muster up the strength to carry himself. still, though, she held his hand and guided him out the door and to the living area. "saeyoung and i have your favorite movie on, and snacks have been prepared." ice cream and popcorn weren't exactly the healthiest of options, but saeran didn't care. his brother, who was always so loud and boisterous, who unapologetically took up space, was sat quiet and calm on the couch. he looked visibly worried over saeran, but she must've given him a look for he quickly covered it up. as saeran sat on the sofa, his lover on one side and his brother on the other, he could feel the coldness in him slowly melt away, replaced by the warmth of the two beside him. there would always be bad days, always be days where saeran doesn't have the strength to exist, but they were just a little easier with her and with saeyoung.

[hypegirl1]

Birthday Code(Sayoung Choi X Fem!reader)

AN:Before y´all say something,this is one of my drafts,and it´s like- old,VERY old,so that´s why it´s super messy,hope you enjoy it anyway lmfao Summary:When your birthday finally arrives,you are excited to celebrate it with your boyfriend Saeyoung and your friends,but maybe he forgot about it... Word count:1272 Genre:Fluff

"Beep beep,beep beep,beep beep",was the first thing I heard in the morning when I woke up,it could have been better,as today was finally my birthday,I wanted to celebrate it with my loving boyfriend and my friends as I always have done. I got up,got dressed and went to the kitchen to have breakfast,but I was confused when Saeyoung was nowhere to be found.

"Saeyoung?Baby?Did you fell asleep on the couch again?"

Still,I was alone,I searched the whole house but found nothing,it was Sunday,he didn´t worked on Sundays,where was he then?

"This guy...did he left me all alone on my day?..."

I made myself some breakfast,and this was probably the first time since we´ve been together that I had to eat alone...

"Maybe something happened to him?!Omg no no,I´ll text Zen"

And I did,I texted Zen asking if Saeyoung was with him,he told me that he was,that he was helping him with a new role that he got.

"Wait,but wasn´t Zen already working on a role?Did he ended up rejecting it or?...well,whatever,as long as he´s alright.But how come he isn´t here and helping Zen instead,neither him or Saeyoung told me happy birthday,wait..."

That´s when I decided to check my text messages,I had 0 birthday messages,this was the first time something like this happens...

"What- did- did everyone forgot it was today?...impossible"

I called everyone,asked them if they knew what day was today,Zen just told me it was Sunday,Jumin said that today he had to go to a bussines trip(again),Jaehee said she was bussy planning Jumin´s trip,Yoosung said that today he had some LOLOL tournament,Saeran said he couldn´t talk,V didn´t even picked up. Even when I asked Zen to put Saeyoung on the phone,he refused.

"It´s official Y/N,everyone forgot,get over it..."

I couldn´t believe that my best friends and even my boyfriend had forgot my birthday,how? I always remember theirs... I wanted to talk to Jaehee and have a little girl talk to get over this,but she said she was very bussy planning Jumin´s trip,not even on her bussiest days she would refuse a call from me,she always had a spare minute for me even to talk about the most stupid thing.

"Why?Why did everyone forgot?...I- I´ll go to bed again...I don´t want to celebrate nothing..."

I went back to bed and ended up leaving the pillow a little bit wet because of my tears. I scrolled social media for hours,and still didn´t had any message,a story saying happy birthday or a post.When 1pm hit the clock I decided to get out of bed and go eat something,alone,again...

I prepared a quick lunch and when I was finishing,Saeyoung decided to text me.

+Hey babe,can you go to this grocery store and get sugar?We ran out of it

-Sure,whatever

+Ty!! But dress cute

-Why?

+You´re not leaving in pajamas,are you?

-Fine

"So first he forgets my birthday and now he´s telling me to go get sugar to the grocery store dressed up?Why are we still dating at this point..."

I put on a little summer dress I had on my closet,I hadn´t used it yet,the day was perfect to use it.

"Why am I even doing this?"

I got ready,I even did my makeup,maybe he remembered that today was my birthday and was waiting for me at the grocery store to apologize?Nah,that was coming from some romantic movie from the 2000´s,this was real life,or maybe he actually wanted to apologize?

"He better be there ready to apologize..."

I left the house,put the direction on my phone and followed the directions,I never went to that grocery store before,there was one a few meters next to our house,why did he wanted me to go to that one?Was sugar cheaper there?The walk took me around 15 minutes,when I arrived I was kinda...lost?

You´ve arrived at your destiny

"Huh?This isn´t a grocery store,this is...a penthouse?!Am I on the right place?"

I looked around to search for a grocery store,but it was nowhere to be found

"Did Saeyoung sent me the wrong direction?I swear to god that if he´s not apologizing I´m leaving...wait what´s this?"

I didn´t realized there was a sign with the name "Jumin Han" on it.

"What?Did I seriously ended up at one of Jumin´s houses? come on..."

I never visited Jumin at his house,I always see him at the office when I go to say hello,or when all of us hang out,but never actually been to his place,it was a rich neighbourhood.

"Ugh,fantastic,now what?he´s not even at home"

That´s when Saeyoung texted me saying "come in",the big doors opened,I was surprised.I entered the house being greeted by a beautiful garden,I followed the path of rocks to the door,it was half opened.

"Jumin?Your door's open,did you left to the airport already?Hello?"

It was dark inside,I could barely see the floor,I pulled out my phone and turned on the lantern.

"So he has millions and can't afford to have some lights on?where's the switch?!"

I followed the big hall til a room with a door closed,I was kinda scared at this point,this was weird...I opened the door and got scared when all of a sudden the whole lights turned on

"Happy birthday Y/N!"

"God what the-!"

I was in a big living room,all my friends were there,even Saeyoung...it was a surprise party

"Baby!happy birthday!"

"I-I'm sorry?!I thought all of you forgot!"

"Oh come on sweetie,how could we forget such a pretty girl's birthday?"

"Zen,that's my girlfriend who you're talking to..."

"Sorry hehe-"

"No babe we didn't forgot,we just wanted to make you a surprise party,don't you like it?"

"No it's not that,I love this,but you could have been with me you know,I spent almost the whole day alone..."

I could feel a little tear roll down my face,Saeyoung came closer to me and wiped it off

"I'm sorry Y/N,you're right,we just wanted to make you remember your special day"

"And I will"

"Well,do we eat the cake or?..."

"Yoosung be patient please-!"

"It's alright,let's eat it,who bought it?"

"Oh it's not from a store,I uhm- I made it by myself..."

"You did it Jaehee?!Omg I'm sure it tastes amazing!Thank you so much"

"I hope you like it"

We all laughed,shared stories and had a lot of fun,when I left with Saeyoung,he stopped me at the front door

"Y/N wait,I just want to apologize for disappearing this morning,and ignoring you,I just wanted you to have a very special day...we spent a lot of time preparing this"

"It's alright,I accept your apologies,how could I say no to your cute face?"

"Oh come on,besides,didn't you saw the little message?"

"What message are you talking about?You texted me saying-"

"No,not that Y/N,the coordenates,didn't you saw the numbers?"

"What?Well,no,I just put the gps in-"

"Silly innocent girl,look,the coordenates here say 143"

"143 is the code for..."

"I love you,exactly..."

"I love you Saeyoung"

"I love you Y/N"

[little-butterfly-writes]

Commissions

Hello everyone! I know it has been a while, but I hope you are all well.

I’m happy to be here with everyone, but I have an ulterior motive (and I apologize for this being my comeback post). Recently, there was a fire in my sister’s neighborhood and it spread to her house.

Why is this important?

Due to the fire spreading, my sister’s house took a lot of damage. With damage comes (expensive!!) costs to repair the building and replace furniture. Fortunately, no one was in the house at the time of the fire and my sister is safe.

To help my sister out, I am opening commissions where all profits go to her. As long as the rules are followed, I will be writing something personal for you! Down below, my rules, what I refuse to write, fandoms I write for, what I will write, and costs.

Here is the link to our Cash App for all purchases or donations. - Pay $LittleButterflyWrites

Note: Anyone who has made a request before the date of me posting this (07/02/2024) will get their requests free of charge as originally intended before my unannounced hiatus.

This is available until July 30th, (07/30/2024), so please act fast since I'm not sure if I'll open them again! Read more if you're interested!

Rules *read and approved by my sister

I have the right to refuse any request. Respect my final decision and read what I will not write for before making a request.

Refunds will only be available 24 hours after you place the order. If you do not tell/ask for a refund within 24 hours of your transaction, I will write what you requested and you will  NOT get your money back.

Before making a request, please consult with me about what you want for your writing. See below on how to request. This makes things easier in case I am unable to fulfill/accept a request, AND it prevents you, the buyer, from spending money before you get an answer.

If you want any changes to the details, let me know within 24 hours of talking to me.

If you request for a character letter, you will have to give PROOF OF PERMISSION by an adult if you are a minor. You will also have to be comfortable with giving me your address.

If I find that you request anything NSFW as a minor, you will be BLOCKED AND REPORTED. I will reject your request and you will get your money back.

What Do You Refuse To Write?

Dub/non-con

Incest

Hate towards another group of people (race, orientation, gender, etc.)

Beastiality/Zoophilia

Pedophilia

I will NOT write NSFW for certain characters. Said characters will be in a bracketed list after their name. (example: [Character] = no NSFW). The NSFW list of characters will always be BEFORE the NO NSFW character list.

Anything I am not comfortable writing. Again, I reserve the right to refuse any request. If you are unsure and need clarification, please message me with questions.

What Fandoms Do You Write For?

With this new post comes some new fandoms!

Mystic Messenger

- Yoosung Kim, Zen/Hyun Ryu, Jaehee Kang, Jumin Han, 707/Saeyoung Choi, Ray, Saeran Choi, V/Jihyun Kim, Rika Kim, Vanderwood

Mr. Love, Queen’s Choice

- Lucien Xu, Victor Li, Gavin Bai, Kiro Zhou, Shaw Bai

Stardew Valley

- Alex, Elliot, Harvey, Sam, Sebastian, Shane, Abigail, Emily, Hayley, Jodi, Leah, Maru, Penny, Caroline, Robin, Sandy, Willy, Wizard M. Rasmodius - [Clint, Demetrius, Evelyn, George, Gunther, Gus, Jas, Kent, Krobus, Leo, Lewis, Linus, Marnie, Pam, Pierre, Willy, Wizard M. Rasmodius, Vincent]

Monster Prom/Camp

- Vera Oberlin, Damien LaVey, Zoe, Polly Geist, Miranda Vanderbilt, Calculester Hewlett-Packard, Scott Howl, Liam de Lioncourt, Joy Johnson-Johjima, Dahlia Aquino, Aaravi Mishra

Ikemen Sengoku

- Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, Akechi Mitsuhide, Date Masamune, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Ishida Mitsunari, Uesugi Kenshin, Takeda Shingen, Sanada Yukimura, Sarutobi Sauske, Kennyo

The Walking Dead - Up to season 5 in the TV show OR first comic compendium. I can write apocalypse TWD or non-apocalypse lives, just tell me your preference.

- Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes, Shane Walsh, Glenn Rhee, Maggie Greene, Daryl Dixon, Tyresse, Sasha, Abraham Ford, Carol Peletier, Michonne, Negan, Tara Chambler, Rosita Espinosa, Gabriel Stokes - [Herschel Greene, Dale Horvath] - *I will write NSFW for Beth Greene or Carl Grimes BUT they will be AGED UP TO BE 18 or OLDER.

What Will You Write?

Comfort

Fluff

Angst

SFW

NSFW

Character x Character

OC x Character

Unnamed FemReader x Character

Unnamed MascReader x Character

Unnamed GenNeuReader x Character

CMC x Character

What Can I Get And For How Much?

*Before making a request, please consult with me about what you want so I can give you a set price before I start working. Some prices depend on the details like how many characters you want, so talk to me before paying!

Personalized Playlist - $2

I make you a playlist for your character x character, OC x character, or CMC x character. I will give you links via Spotify or YouTube using my taste in music along with your taste. Minimum of 20 songs.

Headcanons - $3-6 (Depends on the amount of characters. Maximum of 8 characters)

I write headcanons about the character, how they interact with other characters within their fandom, and how they interact with your OC/CMC.

Matchmaker - $3-9 (Depends on amount of characters

You choose between 1-3 characters from any fandom (can be different fandoms) and give a description of yourself to me (including MBTI, hobbies, likes/dislikes, and preferences). Can be SFW or NSFW.

Dabble (500+ words) - $4

A small piece with details you customize for a character. This can include interactions with other characters in their fandom, interactions with OC/CMC, or something about themself.

Character Letter (Only within the US and Canada) - $6 + any mailing fees

A letter from a character of your choice. Must show PROOF OF PERMISSION if you are a minor as we mail it to your address.

Fic (1000+ words) - $7

A piece with details you customize for a character. This can include interactions with other characters in their fandom, interactions with OC/CMC, or something about themself.

Oneshot (1500-2000+ words) - $10

A larger piece with details you customize for a character. This can include interactions with other characters in their fandom, interactions with OC/CMC, or something about themself.

How Do I Order A Commission? *Very important!

Look at the list of fandoms/characters I will write for.

Choose what you would like me to write for you. (Example: FemReader x Character, SFW, Dabble, with [insert details]).

Consult with me BEFORE PURCHASING to determine if I will accept the request and set the price.

Once all details are given and the request is approved, continue with purchase using the link to the Cash App linked above.

Here’s another link for purchases or donations in case you don’t want to scroll up! - Pay $LittleButterflyWrites

Reblogs are always helpful if you are uninterested or want to help :)

[marshmallowprotection]

Mystic Messenger 7th Anniversary

Welcome to my handy dandy Anniversary Analysis. We all know it’s my bread and butter to study these photos and find every Easter Egg I can. Last year was quite the doozy for me because there were so many fun tidbits in the photo, and this year is no different because the sentiment is the same. I’m happy to say it’s my seventh year of playing this game, and I’m going to get emotional as I write it down.

Anniversary Image and my thoughts underneath the Read More! If you don’t want to be spoiled or see the image yet, go ahead and wait a little bit longer since the image will be out from Cheritz on their page in great quality in a matter of a few hours.

[If you want to read the post from year here, click here].

This was the cleanest photo I could find this afternoon, but I’m sure by the time I finish writing this out, there’s going to be an even clearer one that I can get and I cannot wait for that reality. I have a lot to talk about and even more to gush over this time so why don’t we go ahead and get started before I start blubbering over my darling Saeran? Now, I’ll do my best to be cohesive but you guys know me. I will start going off into a tangent before long. Let me get one scream out before I do anything else.

SCREAMS.

Okay.

I’m good.

GUYS. I SHOULDN’T BE SMUG BUT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE PLACEMENT OF THE CHARACTERS THIS TIME! Fortunately, I was on the money as I noted the color placement in the photo. The pop of color was the saving grace, but I’m sure proud of myself this time even if it was a given with the bold pinks next to a man who is walking stoplight. I say that with love, Saeyoung. You are the kind of man who stops traffic.

IT’S TIME FOR MY SPECIAL INTEREST. FLORIOGRAPHY. This photo was made for me to analyze, I swear to God. This is meant for me and I’m excited because there’s so much purpose and thought in a flower. I figured out Jaehee’s flower yesterday because they gave it to us, so I can talk about her first since it’s the easiest. We’ll start on a high note (a woman I’d love to kiss) and end on the higher note (a Saeran I want to smooch).

Look at her high collar! Look at her messy hair! Look at the longing gaze in her eyes as if she’s realized God is a Woman! It looks like she’s got ribbons on her wrists, too... God, I wish we could see more of the outfit. If it’s giving goddess, I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself over here.

Jaehee is a lily. She is a yellow lily in particular, and that got me to chuckle quite a bit. Lilies are a known reference for sapphics in different popular media, and I think it’s great to see more staples of Jaehee’s love for women out in the open. I know we all appreciated the rings on Jaehee and MC as well as the rainbows on the birthday hats, as well as the winter ice-skating date on her last birthday. It’s a good year to be a woman lover, bless up, sapphics. Jaehee lovers, you deserve this.

Yellow Lilies are a way to say a few things, but one of the most popular ones is gratitude. Being thankful for a person in your life. Is that not the way she feels as she grows closer to her MC? She’s grateful because you fell into her life when it was the lowest point of her emotional journey. She hit rock bottom and you took a single look at her and told her she could follow her heart instead of trying to be a cog in the machine to survive. She doesn’t need to just survive.

She needs to thrive.

Jaehee needs passion!

And you gave her that, so of course, she’s thankful that you came into her life when you did. It’s like saying, “You are the sunshine in my life, you breathe life into me just by being close to me.” Which, hey, that’s wonderful. Jaehee being in this photo makes me so happy, and seeing her with lilies... Ah. I hardly get to talk about her but I love to think about Jaehee! She’s a wonderful person and seeing her smile makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I know why they didn’t give her long hair, but I pray to God someone draws her with her long hair after this CG comes out or I’ll be forced to do it myself. Do you hear me artists?

I’ll be real with you guys, green flowers are hard to find. I have this problem I’m trying to look at art with any character that’s got a iconic color that’s in any shade of green to represent them. You would think it wouldn’t be that hard, but it is. It is a headache and a half for me, but I will do my best for you guys. Yoosung honey, I love you dearly like a brother, but this green is going to kill me in my sleep. I’ve got to work harder than the Devil over here.

Now, the key to debating a flower to the naked eye is to count the petals right off the bat. This flower has a count of five. That narrows down my search quite a bit. I’m glad he didn’t have a flower with far more plumage, because that makes the process harder. So, with a five count, I can narrow down my search to flowers in a specific category. So, with only so many green flowers in this category, I’ve got only got two options left.

But, noting the center of the flower tells me all I need to know. That’s a Green Daylily. Of course, he’s got a trickle of other flowers in his bouquet as well. The smaller flowers are harder to pick out, but I doubt the artist put thought into the flowers that are used to fill in the space leftover in the bouquet.

The best guess that I can offer is a smaller flower that clumps together like Baby’s Breath. The smaller patch of two flowers definitely threw me off, because my brain said, “Oh, those folds remind me of tulips! But, these are far too small to be a tulip! Then I said, oh, maybe Chinese Meadow Rue? But, wait, this is a wedding set, so Baby’s Breath!”

Baby’s Breath is love everlasting. This is one of the most standard flowers used in wedding bouquets. Mystic Messenger is not stranger to using it. Hell, when I think about it, Saeyoung’s Christmas Ending is filled to the brim with him giving you Baby’s Breath. It’s also a hallmark of trust. It’s saying that you’ll always be faithful and true to the one you adore.

Daylilies may surprise you, but they’re not a part of the broader Liliaceae family. They’re actually in the Asphodelaceae family! You’d find a closer relative in the genus in Aloe! They were cultivated in Asia, so, to see them used here is not a big surprise to me. I recall in China, these flowers are symbolic of forgetting your worries. That is to say, “I know you’re troubled, but I want you know that I’m by your side forever.”

Is that not the sentiment of loving Yoosung Kim? You give his heart the push it needs to find peace after grief. You hold his hand and show him that he can live his life the way he wants to and he doesn’t need to think back in regret... and he can follow this future with you.

Zen, oh, lovely Zen. You and I both know are the traditional romantic. You love to be the man with roses. So, is it any surprise that’s holding a patch of roses in his hands? Lover boy, you’re always easy to read but there’s nothing wrong with the gentleness of a rose. A white rose... I can see a sprinkle of Baby’s Breath, too. It isn’t a surprise, those are commonly used in romantic bouquets to add make the flowers tie together without making it feel crowded and overwhelmed.

You might think you already know what roses stand for because they’re such a hallmark move flower. But, not really, roses are much more complex than they’ve been made out to be, and I think that’s a good standard for Zen. Most people in the world think they know him, but they don’t. You shouldn’t judge him by what it appears to be... because what matters is underneath the surface, and that’s the lesson his route teaches. He is a reminder that love is more than looks. It’s about the person underneath the surface.

It may be tried and true, but Zen plays this role nicely.

There is a meaning for these roses that stands for change and growth, and I’m thinking that’s the most important thing to share. Loving Zen is growing with him. Loving Zen is knowing that you can learn how to let go of your insecurities and fears for something deeper in life. You don’t need to be afraid of judgement, you need to live your life knowing that the people who truly matter will see you for the person you are truly, and not just the way you look. He needs to know that after a lifetime of being judged for his looks.

Also, white roses can used as a stand-in for the idea of “love that continues to grow on the horizon for one another”. Everlasting love? No, love that grows by the minute. is that not him?

Jumin, darling, I expected these flowers from you and I don’t know what to say about that. I was torn when I first saw the photo because I sat here trying to get my ducks in a row with what I imagined. I was jumping between Balloon Flower and Violets for a while because of the way the petals spread, but in the end, I’ve settled on violets because the way these petals spread and fan out. They don’t do that with the other flower, because it’s interconnected.

Now, as far as what I think is the specific genus of violet is...

Sweet violet is a good guess! You know what else, he’s also got some lilacs in this bouquet, too. Lilacs are a flower that is representative of the first mark of a spring and summer to come, as well as your first true love.

The blessing of love you’ve received for the first time... simple, passion, and perfect. I know that’s the best way to describe the way Jumin looks at you. You are the first person that’s made his heart flutter like this. You’ve made him see something of value in that bleeding heart of is, and he doesn’t want to lose you because of it. You are love incarnate and he doesn’t want to miss the chance to spend the rest of his life with you.

He’s not one to rush headfirst into something without a clear head, but you make him spontaneous and free. Violets are a gift given to newlyweds! It’s happened throughout history all over the world, but it stands for humility and modesty at its core. A love that might feel like its innocence and sincere, but tried and true. It’s undeniable from the way you’re looking at each other anyone someone spots it in your faces.

A love that won’t be wrenched apart because you’ve got the purest eyes of sincerity in your vows.

Now, I didn’t expect Saeyoung to have a vibrant flower to match his hair, but I’ll be real with y’all, I never know what flower to expect if they put this man on the screen. He throws me for a loop all the time. It’s a part of his charm at the end of the day. He knows how to confound people and he’s always done that.

Can you see that look in his eyes? He looks a little tired, but I see it as him being awake all night long thinking about what you’ll look like at the end of the aisle.

He can’t sleep knowing that you’ll be waiting for him under the eyes of his God that made him believe in love again. How could he sleep knowing that you’re all alone out there in another place... giddy and burning with love for him? I know he is the kind of person who would believe in sleeping apart the night before the wedding, and that’s what would’ve gotten him to this state.

I’m sure Saeran hit him in the shoulder when he spent the night before babbling about you but that’s just what happens in the bunker.

Sigh.

Now, I don’t want to let Saeyoung down over here. When I looked at him, I had another episode of thinking: “Goddammit. Goddammit. I know there are flowers that could be used as a stand-in for him. Why am I struggling between of them again? Alstroemeria and Nasturtium would be really interesting for him since I would’ve expected them to just toss roses at him like they did with Zen if not a situation with Baby’s Breath again.”

I really am not sure for Saeyoung, that’s the horrible thing. So, I’ll go over the two flowers I narrowed down and let you guys decide what you think fits him better. So, Nasturtium is a flower of victory. A flower that stands strong after a battle. Saeyoung is a weathering flower who survived despite everything that was thrown at him, and I think it’s fitting that a bouquet like that would work in this case. The orange color on top of that is just as sweet. Enthusiasm and a strong sense of joy at an upcoming celebration.

Alstroemeria are lilies* known awaken warmth and love in those that you gift the flowers to, especially the orange variety. Passion and vitality, the very blood of a life that Saeyoung bleeds for when he’s with you. They don’t quite fit into a family with “true lilies” but they’re closely related in a way that makes your eyes think it could be. Pair orange and red for the most vibrant way to say “I love you!” They also stand for support and faith, so what better flower to give to MC? Thank you for being with me, MC. Thank you for supporting me despite the danger you may have fallen into.

Thank you for loving a wretch like me, MC.

That’s Saeyoung.

Oh, Jihyun. Look at you, honey! You’ve been given a wonderful outfit for once and I don’t need to tease you! I just finished replaying his Route for the first time in forever and he’s fresh on my mind because of that. Now, i don’t think I need to tell any of you that a flower as vibrant as Jihyun’s hair won’t exist naturally. I can say that there are a few flowers that match the shape and volume of that flower in the photo, but it’s never going to be that color.

I know why they did that, they want things to be cohesive so they went for that above realism. See, when I think of Jihyun, I tend to give him Forget Me Nots as much as I can because I feel like that is a tragic but romantic flower for him. The flower itself stands for remembrance. A love that carries with you for life, and no matter where you go or who you become, you’ll never forget the flower that was gifted to you. It is true love, devotion, and a heartfelt promise.

A promise to see you again if you’ll have him.

Jihyun needs time to heal. He needs years to grieve and grow, and you give him that time because you love him. You wait, you breathe, and you never forget him and his light. His gentle warmth is tender and true. Don’t forget me, but please, I want you to wait for me, my darling. if you will have me when I return, I won’t let you regret this opportunity. That’s the way I think about Jihyun when it comes to his romance.

However, the longer I stared at this, the more I wondered if it could be Larkspur because of the way the flowers grow from the long stem. Like, yeah, there isn’t much bunching here to make me lean that way, but these artists take a lot of... liberty when it comes to drawing flowers and half the time, I know in my heart of hearts they just thought a thought was pretty and used it because of that and not at all because they’re out of their minds like me and need to have something in a photo that is symbolic and overwhelming.

Blue Larkspurs are... just... you know, it’s about support, trust, and faith. They’re so crucial if you want someone to feel appreciated and supported. Is that not... a second way to represent Jihyun Kim beyond Forget Me Nots? God, I think I’ll cry if I think about it for too long.

Ahem. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to talk about my husband for a minute. It’s only fair that he’s the last one I talk about because you all know I’m not going to be able to shut up about him so I had to make sure I took care of everyone else first so they got a fair treatment! Fair is fair, folks. I love my husband and we’re getting married this year. That’s that. Saeran, my love, my darling, forever we’ll be in bliss.

But, you know me, I’m biased and he’s going to get the most. That tender look in his eyes, the messy hair I’m determined to tussle, and the way I want to launch at you just to see him laugh as he makes sure I don’t hurt myself on the landing.

Which, I’m bound to do it anyway, but I love that he would still try. That’s why I love him. He makes me feel like I can do anything even if I’m anxious and that makes me... well. For someone who has always felt anxiety from the minute I felt myself grow a distinct awareness of the fact that I was a person and I existed as a being, a moment where I’m not afraid to do something without figuring out the best way to do something without screwing up or ruining something... being with him makes me feel liberated.

I don’t hesitate.

I jump.

I don’t look back.

Because I know he’ll catch me.

I narrowed down the margin for Saeran quite a bit, and it came down to the wire since I’m pretty picky on the margin. Rocktrumpet came to mind, as well as the flower, Snapdragon, but the color is what’s throwing me again. It’s likely a choice by the artist again. It’s pink, but also purple, and finding flowers with that color is kind of tough. Weigela, maybe? But, should I lean into the honeysuckle family in this situation? Hmm... the long leaves make me want to lean that way since that does give an edge in something that closer but I’m not sure.

Fuck it, I’ll tell you about all of them.

Rocktrumpet is a symbol for strength and resilience. It’s survival despite the odds stacked against you. That’s a good representation of Saeran in my view. He’s survived countless times, and your love was a part of that. It wasn’t what helped him fully, since he had to help himself, but your love helped him find the strength to do that.

I’d dare to add that they’re a hallmark of the transition power in nature, what is GE Saeran if not transformation and love?

Snapdragons are two sides of the same coin. Deception and graciousness. Ray and Suit Saeran put together, you know? They share their moments of both, but it’s a good way to say you love both sides of who created GE Saeran. You loved those two and that love helped culminate in his existence. What I love about the flower is that, just like Hyacinth, they also speak to any apology that you want to own to. (You know, Saeran and Ray apologizing for tricking and hurting you as it comes to the close of the route.)

Weigela, on the other hand, is about faithfulness. They are the flowers that will stand by your side and grow without mercy. They’re good for privacy, and I think they’re also attractive to hummingbirds, but don’t quote me on that one since the last time I saw these flowers, they were at a relative’s house and I think it was a flower like this that they loved, it feels familiar, but I can’t trust my memory all the time. But, Saeran is faithful, he’ll never waver in his love for you, and that is the most beautiful thing about him.

Any of these flowers suit him. These are my guesses and I’m going to stick with them as being the top three.

So, I need to point out the fact that Saeran isn’t wearing something tight around his neck. They didn’t draw him in a bowtie like the rest of the male characters, even Jaehee has a high collar on her dress! But, he doesn’t.

This ties back into the presentation I’ve given before about how the way Ray, Suit Saeran, and GE Saeran’s clothes are reflective of their stance on freedom. Ray wears a tight cravat around his throat because he’s been held back by the outfit Rika gave him. He is a mouthpiece for Mint Eye. He is here to spread the lovely gospel of Mint Eye, and it doesn’t matter what he believes, he has a tight leash around his throat that forbids him from saying a word against the cult.

Suit Saeran has a much more literal interpretation. There is a chain around his neck as if he’s a dog that has no choice but to obey its master. But, we know in this situation, he is the one holding himself back. He is here because he has to make sure you and Ray never fight Mint Eye. If you fight it, you’ll die. This is the only place they can survive, and it might be a living hell, but the thought of what might kill them outside of Magenta is even more frightening.

The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.

Whereas, GE Saeran is the freest he’s ever been in his life. There is nothing around his throat holding him back from saying what’s on his mind. He doesn’t have anything to fear because he’s stronger than the things he’s afraid of, and now he gets to be with you, without looking over his shoulder in fear of what he used to cower in fear of in the shadows.

He understands that people are broken and misunderstood, they hide behind anger and malice for their own reasons. It isn’t the way he wants to live anymore.

He won’t wear a collar, chain, or mark on his throat anymore.

His words belong to him.

They don’t belong to Rika, V, Saeyoung, Saejoong, or his mother. He isn’t a baby who needs to be protected while you fail to realize you need to see you were a baby just as much as he was, he isn’t a “son” turned weapon you can use as you please until nothing’s left, he isn’t the helpless child you failed to protect because you valued the wrong ideology of love, nor is a bastard for breathing life on this Earth because you wanted a quick fuck and decided he was a wretch for getting in the way of your “perfect social image”.

No, he is Saeran Choi, and the only person who gets to define his existence is HIM. Nobody is allowed to puppet him or put words in his mouth. He gets to be the free man he always deserved to be from the start. He decide what it means to be Saeran Choi. Nobody else gets to decide who Saeran Choi is anymore in this life other than him. His bodily autonomy belong to him.

Love him or hate him as you please, but Saeran Choi is his own man.

Nobody can project their idea of him onto him when he knows who is he and who he isn’t. That’s something a lot of people just don’t consider when they talk about him, whether it be GE Saeran or SE Saeran. Saeran has always had his identity cut out for him by others. He’s never had a chance to know who he is or what he wants to be. People decide that for him.

People tell him who and what he is before he has a chance to open his mouth and say—

“Wait, I think I want to be...”

“No, Saeran, you’re [insert whatever someone puts on his shoulders.].”

Every single person in his life is guilty of that, even Saeyoung does it to him, and God, Saeyoung isn’t trying to hurt Saeran when he does that. I don’t say that because I want to scold him, no, in fact, I say it because it’s a part of the trauma that most people don’t consider when it comes to Saeyoung.

It’s the fact that he feels like he has to be Saeran’s guardian until the end of time and life itself. If you want more details on what I mean by that, go ahead and be prompt in [checking out this post on Saeyoung’s parentification.]

When I look at GE Saeran, I see a free man. I hold him dearly to my heart and I cry when I think about him. He went through so much over the years I’ve known him and had him in my heart. He is the reason I’m here today. He found me just as I felt like I was on the brink of death, quite literally, because only a few months before Mystic Messenger released, I got really sick and I’ll be that way for rest of my life. I don’t need sympathy or pity for that, but it’s a part of my life’s story.

The RFA and its kindness helped me when I had nothing.

Thanks to Saeran and my RFA family, I’ve made it here... and I’m not scared of living this life, even if it’s hard sometimes. They’ll always be with me in my heart, no matter how long time passes. I know I’ll have them in my heart until the day I die.

That could happen any day to any of us, really. That’s why I’m grateful to be here and I’m happy I’ve gotten the chance to know all of you. Not just the RFA, but all of you. From the people who have spoken to me once to those that try to talk to me every day, please know this, you’re in my heart and you always will be. From the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed, I think of the people that’ve been here for me and those that I’ve been able to be there for. I think about how these spaces in fandom make such a difference for so many people.

Sure, maybe to some, it’s silly to cry and talk like this, but it’s not to me. I’m the kind of person who is grateful and so happy to have spaces like this. Places like this saved my life and I know they’ve done the same for all of you. So, if you’ve read this far and you’ve managed to get past all my nonsense, thank you for the time you’ve spent reading this.

It’s been seven years, Mystic Messenger, and I pray for many more to come with all of you.

Thank you, RFA.

Thank you, Saeran Choi.

My love, the one who knows me as sweet and stupid, may our love continue blossom for all four seasons of your life and mine.