#jacques x noah

[criminalcinnamon]

Welcome back jacnoah

Silly + older designs

[positive-total-drama-takez]

I LOVE JACNOAH (Jacques and Noah) SOSOSOSO MUCH THEY'RE SO SILLY :3

.

[adversity-twins-simp-blog]

it begins. welcome to my dumb little total drama au project, starring my boys, mickey & jay <3 just working on sketches and designs for some of the cast atm but i'm planning on adding to this blog whenever i finish new content for the au because my delusional little brain cannot be tasked with keeping up with all my bullshit otherwise anyways, hope y'all enjoy what i've got so far ^^

[medievalandfantasymelee]

Hot Medieval & Fantasy Men Melee Masterpost

Qualifying Round: Day 7

Robert of Artois [Jean Piat] VS. Mehmed II [Cem Yiğit Uzümoğlu]

Tormund Giantsbane [Kristofer Hivju] VS. Sir Lancelot [Luc Simon]

Legolas [Orlando Bloom] VS. Shah Ala Ad Daula [Olivier Martinez]

Sir Lancelot [Richard Gere] VS. Rollo [Clive Standen]

Henry V [Laurence Olivier] VS. Saruman [Christopher Lee]

Théoden [Bernard Hill] VS. Steapa [Adrian Bouchet]

Taunting French Guard [John Cleese] VS. Richard III [Aneurin Barnard]

Jaime Lannister [Nikolaj Coster-Waldau] VS. Wat [Alan Tudyk]

Daario Naharis [Michel Huissman] VS. Kíli [Aiden Turner]

Osferth [Ewan Mitchell] VS. Robin Hood [Jonas Armstrong]

Jacques le Gris [Adam Driver] VS. Rodrigo Borgia [Jeremy Irons]

Stannis Baratheon [Stephen Dillane] VS. Ivar the Boneless [Alex Høgh Anderson]

Guildenstern [Tim Roth] VS. Caspian X [Ben Barnes]

High King Peter the Magnificent [Noah Huntley] VS. Robin Hood [Errol Flynn]

Little John [Eric Allan Kramer] VS. Pippin Took [Billy Boyd]

Uhtred of Bebbanburg [Alexander Dreymon] VS. Robin Hood [Michael Praed]

Sihtric Kjartansson [Arnas Fedaravičius] VS. Robin Longstride [Russell Crowe]

Cinderella's Prince [Chris Pine] VS. Edgin Darvis [Chris Pine]

Tom Builder [Rufus Sewell] VS. Thomas Cromwell [Mark Rylance]

Count Adehemar [Rufus Sewell] VS. Sir Bowen [Dennis Quaid]

[ripempezardexerox]

Dices Merzbow, yo digo Justin Beiber

Dices Boredoms, yo digo Katy Perry

Dices Gerogerigegege, yo digo Skrillex

Dices Coil, yo digo Lady Gaga

Dices Throbbing Gristle, yo digo Black Eyed Peas

Dices Whitehouse, yo digo Taylor Swift

Dices Nurse With Wound, yo digo Bruno Mars

Dices Einstürzende Neubauten, yo digo Maroon 5

Dices Brainbombs, yo digo Drake

Dices Egor Letov, yo digo One Direction

Dices Death in June, yo digo LMFAO

Dices Current 93, yo digo Beyonce

Dices La Monte Young, yo digo Carly Rae Jepsen

Dices Moondog, yo digo Kelly Clarkson

Dices Lou Harrison, yo digo Coldplay

Dices Henry Cowell, yo digo PSY

Dices Luigi Russolo, yo digo Imagine Dragons

Dices Popol Vuh, yo digo Lana Del Ray

Dices Fishmans, yo digo Ellie Goulding

Dices Jean Jacques Perrey, yo digo P!nk

Dices Les Rallizes Dénudés, yo digo Owl City

Dices Rainbow Caroliner, yo digo Carrie Underwood

Dices Taj Mahal Travellers, yo digo Christina Aguilera

Dices Fushitsusha, yo digo Ariana Grande

Dices Peter Brötzmann, yo digo Rihanna

Dices John Cage, yo digo Jennifer Lopez

Dices Scott Walker, yo digo Ed Sheeran

Dices Unwound, yo digo Mumford & Sons

Dices Dead, yo digo Tyga

Dices Frank Zappa, yo digo Shakira

Dices Morton Feldman, yo digo Macklemore

Dices Captain Beefheart, yo digo Big Time Rush

Dices Pharoah Sanders, yo digo Akon

Dices Albert Ayler, yo digo Foster the People

Dices Ornette Coleman, yo digo The Weeknd

Dices Alice Coltrane, yo digo Panic! at the Disco

Dices Arnold Schoenberg, yo digo Florida Georgia Line

Dices Pierre Boulez, yo digo Big Sean

Dices György Ligeti, yo digo Gym Class Heroes

Dices Karlheinz Stockhausen, yo digo Miley Cyrus

Dices Nang Nang, yo digo The Lumineers

Dices Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, yo digo Jay-Z

Dices Nara Leão, yo digoCharlie Puth

Dices Basic Channel, yo digo Mac Miller

Dices Raymond Scott, yo digo Twenty One Pilots

Dices Delia Derbyshire, yo digo Harry Styles

Dices Daphne Oram, yo digo Charli XCX

Dices Noah Howard, yo digoBTS

Dices Terry Riley, yo digo Iggy Azalea

Dices Peter Sotos, yo digo John Legend

Dices Lula Côrtes e Zé Ramalho, yo digo OneRepublic

Dices Boyd Rice, yo digo Migos

Dices Mahmoud Ahmed, yo digo Logic

Dices Henry Flynt, yo digo Bastille

Dices Kazumoto Endo, yo digo Five Seconds of Summer

Dices David Tudor, yo digo Pentatonix

Dices Aporea, yo digo The Chainsmokers

Dices Half Japanese, yo digo Fall Out Boy

Dices Mega Banton, yo digo David Guetta

Dices Secret Chiefs 3, yo digo Greta Van Fleet

Dices Keiji Haino, yo digo Alicia Keys

Dices Ramleh, yo digo Kanye West

Dices Otomo Yoshihide, yo digo T-Pain

Dices John Zorn, yo digo Lizzo

Dices Joe Meek, yo digo WALK THE MOON

Dices Robbie Basho, yo digo Cardi B

Dices Phil Spector, yo digo EXO

Dices Faxed Head, yo digo Solange

Dices Harry Partch, yo digo Lil Nas X

Dices Wesley Willis, yo digo Disclosure

Dices Fred Frith, yo digo Sam Smith

Dices The Residents, yo digo Michael Buble

Dices Sun Ra, yo digo Paramore

Dices Sun City Girls, yo digo Linkin Park

Dices Hans Krüsi, yo digo Florence + The Machine

Dices Royal Trux, yo digo Rascal Flatts

Dices Jandek, yo digo Eminem

Dices Yat-Kha, yo digo Chance the Rapper

Dices Loren Mazzacane Connors, yo digo Mariah Carey

Dices Pärson Sound, yo digo Snoop Dogg

Dices The Dead C, yo digo Adele

Dices Comus, yo digo Shawn Mendes

Dices Cromagnon, yo digo Chris Brown

Dices Eliane Radigue, yo digo Camilla Cabello

Dices Arthur Doyle, yo digo Halsey

Dices Shizuka, yo digo The 1975

Dices The Red Krayola, yo digo Billie Eilish

Dices Henry Cow, yo digo A$AP Rocky

Dices Magma, yo digo Dua Lipa

Dices Opus Avantra, yo digo Kendrick Lamar

Dices Pan.Thy.Monium., yo digo Nicki Minaj

Dices Murmuüre, yo digo Madonna

Dices Ksiezyc, yo digo Britney Spears

Dices Gong, yo digo Post Malone

Dices Cukor Bila Smert', yo digo Jonas Brothers

Dices cLOUDDEAD, yo opino que te calles

Dices Muslimgauze, ¡¡ YO GRITO POP!!

Dices Kaoru Abe, y te parto la madre

El 92% de la juventud está escuchando Avant Garde Noise. Si eres parte de ese 8% que aun escucha música de verdad, comparte este post a tus contactos de facebook.

¡¡¡¡ No dejes que el espíritu del POP muera !!!!

[whimsicalchicken]

How do you feel about Noah x Jacques?

hate it. is it even legal.

[tklpilled]

& is strictly platonic, / can be platonic or romantic. bolded are my favourites. if there's a rarepair you don't see on here, feel free to ask!! i'm a multishipper and i like exploring different character dynamics :)

fandoms are in the same order as on the fandoms list, with the exception of genshin being last bc there are so many lol

bungou stray dogs:

chuuya/dazai

atsushi/akutagawa/lucy or any combination

jouno/tecchou

chuuya & dazai & atsushi & akutagawa or any combination

sigma/dazai

sigma/fyodor/nikolai or any combination

dazai/fyodor

ranpo/poe/mushitarou or any combination

ranpo/yosano

dazai/yosano

kenji & chuuya

kenji & atsushi

kenji & junichirou

junichirou/atsushi

atsushi & kyouka

gin/higuchi/tachihara

gin/tachihara

gin & akutagawa

oda & dazai

mushitarou/yokomizo

hunter x hunter:

killua/gon

leorio/kurapika

killua & gon & leorio & kurapika & alluka or any combination

amane/canary

pitou & youpi & pouf & meruem or any combination

kurapika/chrollo

fullmetal alchemist:

roy/riza

ed/ling

ling & lan fan

ed & al & roy or any combination

fruits basket:

tohru/yuki/kyo or any combination

yuki/haru

yuki/kakeru

kyo & momiji & haru or any combination

tohru & momiji

tohru/rin

haru/rin

ayame/shigure/hatori or any combination

tohru/uotani/hanajima or any combination

my hero academia:

bakugou/izuku/todoroki or any combination

toga/ochako

aizawa/yamada

momo/jirou

jirou/kaminari

izuku/shinsou/kaminari or any combination

p much any class 1-a pairing lol

dabi/hawks

dabi/shigaraki

sk8 the infinity:

reki/langa

joe/cherry

reki & langa & miya or any combination

the case study of vanitas:

noe/vanitas

domi/jeanne

noe & domi & louis or any combination

vanitas & mikhail

noe/jean-jacques

dante/johann/riche or any combination

roland/olivier

trigun:

vash/wolfwood/meryl or any combination

vash & knives

milly/meryl

jujutsu kaisen:

gojo/geto

yuuji/nobara/megumi or any combination

megumi & gojo & yuuji & nobara or any combination

nobara/maki

yuuta/inumaki

yuuta/maki

choso & yuuji

gojo/utahime

utahime/shoko

gojo & geto & shoko or any combination

chainsaw man:

aki/angel

denji & aki & power or any combination

denji/yoshida

power/kobeni

denji/asa

buddy daddies:

kazuki/rei

attack on titan:

levi/hange

eren/mikasa/armin or any combination

ymir/historia

sasha/mikasa

jean/armin

jean/eren

jean/connie/sasha or any combination

pieck/porco

pieck/hange

annie/armin

annie/mikasa

reiner & annie & bertholdt or any combination

annie/hitch

demon slayer:

tanjirou/inosuke

tanjirou & nezuko

mitsuri/shinobu

shinobu/giyuu

genya/muichirou

akaza/douma

mitsuri/obanai

heaven official's blessing:

shi qingxuan/he xuan

hua cheng/xie lian/yin yu or any combination

hua cheng/xie lian/feng xin/mu qing or any combination

yin yu/quan yizhen

qi rong & xie lian

south park:

tweek/craig/kenny or any combination

stan/kyle/kenny or any combination

kenny/butters

spiderverse:

miles/gwen

miles & gwen & hobie & pav or any combination

miles & peter b

six of crows:

kaz/inej/nina/wylan/jesper or any combination

nina/matthias

the raven cycle:

ronan/gansey/adam/noah/blue or any combination

henry/gansey/blue or any combination

breath of the wild/tears of the kingdom:

link/revali

link/zelda

link/sidon

mipha/zelda

daruk & urbosa & mipha & revali & link & zelda or any combination

link & tulin

honkai star rail:

stelle/march 7th/dan heng

bronya/seele

jing yuan & yanqing

firefly/stelle

aventurine/dr ratio

gallagher & misha

dan heng/jing yuan

boothill/robin

boothill/argenti

dan heng/boothill

kafka/himeko

kafka/blade

stelle/kafka

blade/dan heng

sampo/gepard

sampo/stelle

acheron/black swan

serval & gepard & lynx

arlan & asta

lynx/pela

ace attorney:

apollo/klavier

phoenix/edgeworth

apollo & trucy

franziska & edgeworth

franziska/maya

maya & phoenix

nahyuta/blackquill

apollo & athena

athena/blackquill

franziska/adrian

dead plate:

rody/vincent

the magnus archives:

jon/martin/tim/sasha or any combination

jon & georgie

georgie/melanie

basira/daisy

gerry/michael

genshin impact:

kaeya & diluc

chongyun/xingqiu/gaming or any combination

aether/xiao

ei/yae miko

cyno/tighnari/albedo or any combination

childe/scaramouche

aether/scaramouche

cyno/tighnari/alhaitham/kaveh or any combination

lyney & lynette & freminet or any combination

furina/neuvillette

arlecchino/furina

lyney/aether

scaramouche/albedo

scaramouche/lyney

kaeya/albedo/aether or any combination

fischl/razor/bennett or any combination

barbara/noelle

barbara & jean

diluc/venti

aether/venti

jean/lisa

mika/noelle

rosaria/kaeya

xiao/venti

beidou/ningguang

chongyun & xiangling & xingqiu or any combination

hu tao/yanfei

yanfei/yelan

hu tao/xiao

xinyan/xiangling

zhongli/venti

zhongli/childe

gorou & kokomi

kokomi/sara

ayaka/thoma

ayaka/lumine

shinobu & itto

kazuha/tomo

kazuha/aether

kazuha/scaramouche/heizou or any combination

ayaka/chevreuse

candace/dehya

dehya/nilou

nahida & scaramouche

navia/clorinde

navia/furina

chlorinde/wriothesley

furina/lumine

childe/kaeya

childe/diluc

shinobu/heizou

ayaka/chiori

chiori/chevreuse

[real-total-drama-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/759658447803498497/real-talk-i-dont-give-a-shit-about-jacnoah-or?source=share

how tf does it give off minor x adult?? ofc it's gonna be set during the ridonculous race bc that's the first season jacques is in but also noah's canon love interest is only a year younger than jacques. just looking at the ages how is jacques (22) x noah (19) a big shift from emma (21) x noah (19)??

personally as someone in my early twenties i wouldn't date a nineteen year old but i dated someone when i was 20 and he was 22 and it was like. not a big deal.

i don't even like jacnoah mostly bc i don't see any chemistry and it kinda just looks like shoving two gaycoded characters together but like. minor x adult was such a weird take i had to say something

[gweathney-propaganda]

What's your opinion on Jacques/Noah (as a couple) I have severe brain rot of them (if you couldn't tell)

they remind me of nose (noah x jose) a lot, but overall i like them :3

[gwendefender4life]

"no man should be that flexible."

guidelines !?

no smut! obvious enough, but the characters in the shows are minors! and as a minor myself, it is incredibly uncomfortable for me to write smut. the most i will write for is making out, and even then it will be very brief and undescriptive.

be respectful! simple and common sense, but some people don't have that. especially when it comes to the characters i like/hate. if you don't like my content or my opinions, LEAVE!

be patient! i have my own life outside of the screen and i have other priorities. if you have an issue with how much time i'm taking to finish a request, ask elsewhere!

don't request for the characters i hate! they will be included in my dni list as "____ stans". if you request for them, i will delete your ask!

don't request for characters that i do not include in my "character list" section! like i said before, if you request for them i will delete your ask!

no dark content! this means yandere, pedophilia, incest, step-incest, etc. even if you support this content, dni!

i write for basically anything else! you can request self-insert x character, oc x character, character x character, platonic relationships, familial relationships, etc. as long as they follow the guidelines/dni list!

character list !?

gen 1 - alejandro, bridgette, dj, duncan, eva, geoff, gwen, harold, izzy, justin, katie, leshawna, lindsay, noah, owen, sadie, trent, tyler

gen 2 - anne maria, dakota, dawn, jo, lightning, mike, zoey

gen 3 - ella, jasmine, rodney, scarlett, shawn

gen 4 - axel, caleb, damien, julia, millie, mk, nichelle, priya, scary girl/lauren

rr - emma, jacques, josee, kitty

"your parents must love this show, gets you out of the house!"

dni list !?

blaineley, chris, cody, courtney, heather, sierra, gwourtney, courtney x scott, & chase x emma (td 2023) stans

anne maria, axel, b, brick, cameron, crimson, dakota, damien, dawn, dj, duncan, ella, emma (rr), ennui, eva, gwen, izzy, jacques, jasmine, jen, jo, josee, julia, justin, katie, kitty, leshawna, lightning, lindsay, macarthur, mike, noah, owen, rodney, sadie, sam, sanders, scarlett, tom, trent, zee, zoey, gwuncan, leharold, gwent, & nemma antis

racists

homophobes

transphobes

misogynists

ableists

religion-shamers

xenophobes

pro/com/darkshippers

pedophiles

incest

"you know what? I'M GETTING A SANDWICH!"

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

Remaining placement RR team thoughts. I finished the show yesterday but didn’t get to thoughts so I could let them settle

The Reality TV Pros are a good concept on paper but faiiiled. Noah was really mean this season and especially to Owen. Owen was also pretty helpless which didn’t help because I didn’t go in already wanting the best for Owen (he’s fine, I just don’t find him funny). I’m kinda bummed out we never got flashbacks to the boys on other shows, even if just stills when someone asked about an episode they were on. I could imagine Dwayne saying “say aren’t you those nice boys who were on [x]” and Junior wants to walk away sooo badly. his ship with Emma was cringey, I hate hypocrites in love, and I hate that Father and Son lost to Owen literally carrying Noah through a sadness coma. any other situation and I’d pity Noah. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE DATERS THAT EP. Sorry. For being out at the time they did, they got insane screentime.

Fuck the writers. Someone hold me back. WHY did they only get 7th. God I mean come ON. They were so funny, their relationship feels so REAL without relying on constant kissing or pda, and I kinda get their emotional issue with each other ungoth. I’ve seen people credit them as being “shallow”, but you have no idea what kind of dysphoria you can get from being in a subculture so long. The two also have insane transgender swag. Their normal attire and max goth outfits are literally so iconic I love them. BOTH of them btw. Only critique is Ennui should have known better than to attempt to jump into water holding Loki. Rabbits can’t be submerged in water! Regardless, they should have lasted longer and only lost because they were too good for a romance plotline.

I knew The Surfer Bros elim was a fakeout so I wasn’t too invested in Vietnam ep. More on them later

The Daters started off okayish but I hated them by Hawaii. I really don’t know if the show wanted us to hate them, or if we were supposed to go “I’ve been there!” because I have NOT. Two elimination fakeouts is WAY too many. I’m willing to say there were plenty of times they finished early I would have axed them for. Perhaps Little Bull on the P- I’ll stop. Lord of the Ring Toss was a really fun episode until The Daters took over. God. Even their real elim was silly

I haaaate most “childhood friends to lovers” things because I have zero touch with my childhood friends and I feel a lot of it involves comphet and “love makes you dumb” type shit. Anyways I had no grand opinions on The Best Friends, both at the beginning of the show and the late parts. Of all the unisex duos (Goths, Daters, Ice Dancers, Fashion Bloggers, LARPers) they’re the most cishet with very rigid gender norms. Since Carrie was so excited to do magic I was certain she’d be the magician and Devin would be the assistant, but no. Same with Hawaii, even if all the unisex couples did it. Jacques also wore a skirt in Hawaii! Get Devin in a skirt! Also Carrie manipulating Devin to make him go through the stages faster was a bit... um.

The Sisters did not grow on me. Quite the opposite! While I don’t think they outstayed their welcome, they are good competitors, I just think their interactions with others SUCK. I already mentioned I do not ship Nem/ma, but god. Makes you think of good Rajbow was establishing relationship boundaries where they’d pause while on the island so it didn’t get in the way of competition. Emma could have done that but didn’t. Can’t even argue emotional maturity since Bowie was younger in the show too. Kitty REALLY felt like a sidekick to Emma once Noah left. I loved her at first, but she felt so stagnant. No character arcs that weren’t dependent on Emma’s mood for the episode. Kitty rising to the occasion was always based off Emma... not rising to the occasion. Never because Kitty had a secret talent or skill she could show off. Fucking over the Adversity Twins was genuinely shitty and extra vile that like?? They already FINISHED and made rug, so they literally wandered back to mentally injure a contestant. If the Ice Dancers did that they’d be crucified.

The Ice Dancers rule honestly. I think all their plot beats (luck vs bad luck, issues with contestants no one else views as threats, pride vs success) were genuinely interesting to watch them explore. Obvious villains you should hate, but they’re interesting. Usually TD villains are laughable evil (Max, Justin) or vanity evil (Heather, Alejandro), but they manage to survive even with chipped nails and blemished faces. Because skaters get back up. And their weaknesses are so iconic. Josee is one of the million claustrophobic characters, but it’s way better here than with Gwen. Jacques hates fish. Based.

ACAB. I hate The Cadets. I assumed people hated them simply because cops suck, but WOW. MacArthur is THE WORST!? If I accidentally broke someone’s arm like that I’d be so forceful that we should just drop. No million is worth that. Plus they’re Canadian and healthcare so it’s not like they’d need it to pay for the cast lol. Very glad I didn’t watch the Netflix version that says they won. Ewwww. Imagine if the season came out today. People would probably hate them even more since no nostalgia glasses.

The Surfer Bros rule. They’re so nice, they’re so funny, they’re great. I’ve seen people say they made Geoff extra dumb thinking Komodo dragons are real dragons and breathe fire, but that’s a fair thought. You know how many people I know think turkens are turkey and chicken hybrids? They aren’t! They’re pure chicken but look like turkeys. Does that make anyone reading this who thought that stupid? Nope. There’s a lot of animals in the world. God. Brody’s crush on MacArthur felt like a comic sketch. You REALLY think a chillax man could date a crooked cop? Yeah no. Poly Surfers 4ever

[criminalcinnamon]

Jacnoah Yuri :3

Og image:

[positive-total-drama-takez]

ok im gonna be SOMEWHAT normal with this but uh!!!

Imagine the Ice Dancers trying to break the bond between Owen and Noah like they did with Geoff and Brody except Jacques is STUPID and accidentally falls in love with Noah‼️‼️ Jacques falls both first AND harder compared to Noah...

Also after ridonculous race Jacques would totally try to teach Noah how to go iceskating and do a couple simple routines!! Noah would pose like a broken animatronic at first but then get griddy with it like how he did when pulling off those moves in TDA i dornt know‼️

- ticking time bomb anon who successfully recovered from exploding 💣

.

[adversity-twins-simp-blog]

annnd i've finally started writing!! woo!

the prologue of Symbiosis is now available on Fanfiction.net! hoping to move over to AO3 once my stuff gets approved but for now this is better than Wattpad so i'll take it-

where is the university theme you would be correct to wonder given my previous content, but worry not! i'm gonna be writing for this au in a sort of trilogy, the first part of which being a recounting of the twins' time on the race and some important events/interactions that effect the over-arcing au world

so that's cool and all

if you read it i hope you enjoy, i'm gonna work on the first chapter a bit tonight so if you like the prologue stay tuned for more ^^

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (Year 4, week 2)

Napoleon, Ridley Scott's new sweeping epic. It's assumed that when a megalomaniac filmmaker (Abel Gance, Kubrick) becomes obsessed with the myth of "The Great Leader Napoleon", it's because they themselves are inflicted with delusions of grandeur of some kind. So it's not very interesting or relevant to us mortal people.

This is a beautifully-shot, rich with gorgeous tableaux showing the senselessness and chaos of war. The best thing it did was making me read about the history of French history in the first half of the 19th century. 4/10.

🍿  

2 tight French thrillers by Yann Gozlan:

🍿 I feel bored at the moment, and was looking for an intelligent thriller to break out my film lethargy. Somebody on r/truefilm suggested Black box, a French conspiracy thriller, similar to 'Three Days of the Condor' and 'The Parallax View'. I started watching it at 4AM, and gulped it all in one fell whoop. A sharp analyst at the French NTSB discovers small inconsistencies while investigating a plane crash. Terrific! 9/10.

🍿 Burn out was a more traditional crime action story about a semi-professional bike racer who gets involved with a gypsy cartel of drug-dealing goons. 5/10.

🍿

Another thriller, Black Mirror's longest (feature-length), and my most favorite and re-watched episode, Hated in the nation; "The attack of the killer ADI Bees". I knew that it was based on a personal experience that Charlie Brooker himself lived through. "Today I learnt" it was after a 2004 article he wrote, calling for the assassination of George W Bush. A perfect film! 10/10 for the 10th time.

🍿

George Carlin: I'm Glad I'm Dead, my first AI-generated movie! (or rather a stand up). As a long time big fan of St. George, I was very skeptical, and it did take some getting used to. The uncanny valley incongruity of a not exactly right voice, not exactly sharp words as the dearly-departed political genius (Jesus Christ, had it been 15 years already!)

But as weird as it is, you could eventually ease into the rant, and imagine that this - more or less - is how he would respond in 2024 to today's wretched times. F. ex., his descriptions of the Shitting Trump (at 12:00) is right up there with the best of the Real Carlin. If this up-to-date artificial facsimile of his voice, attitude and opinions is all we can get today, I for one am grateful. (AI-generated Photo Above).

Actually, this experience was so unsettling, I had to watch it twice. And to even it out, I also listened again to his Complaints and Grievances from 2001, as well as some 2.5 hours 'tribute mix' of Carlin 'Top Hits', just to make sure...

🍿  

I need more Jean Renoir in my life! A Day in the Country is a perfect start. A light tale, based on a Guy de Maupassant story, which feels like a black & white painting by his father, Auguste Renoir. An innocent seductions one afternoon on the banks of the river Seine. So delightful, so nostalgic. 8/10.

🍿  

Jacques Demy X 2:

🍿  "We are a pair of twins / Born in the sign of Gemini..."

Another delightful re-watch: Demy's dreamy musical The Young Girls of Rochefort. Colorful tunes by Michel Legrand, and pastel dance numbers performed at the quintessentially romantic square of this fantasy town. The inspiration to La La Land. 9/10.

🍿 Demy's only American film, Model shop, a testimony to his love for Los Angeles, opens in Huntington Beach and follows aimless, young Gary Lockwood, so broke that he drives around looking to bum 100 bucks from somebody, to avoid his old MG convertible from being repossessed. It's considered a minor masterpiece, about two lost souls looking for love, but I found it dull and empty, and devoid of all magic. 2/10.

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“You’re a good man, sister…”

Re-watch, just for fun: John Huston Tough Man fantasy The Maltese Falcon, the original Film Noir. With Gutman "The fat man" as an early study for Noah Cross, and beautiful Femme fatale Mary Astor. The only strange role is Elisha Cook Jr. who didn't look like the Heavy, "Your boy here", under any circumstances.

There were two earlier adaptations of the story, which I haven't seen yet, but I will.

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Re-watch: Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave, a happy Oscar-winner Aardman studio classic, which first introduced Shaun the Sheep. I've forgotten that Gromit, Like Teller's, never speaks. 100% score on 'Rotten Tomatoes'.

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Coogan’s Bluff, the only (?) film where laconic outsider Clint Eastwood plays a fish-out-of-water in NYC, and the inspiration to Dennis Weaver's McCloud. Half-sheriff, half-cowboy from Arizona, he's sent to bring back an extradited convict. Not as misogynistic and reactionary as Dirty Harry, he's still a sexist He-man, always horny and creepily pushes himself on any skirt around, whether they like it or not. This being Don Siegel, they love it. 2/10.

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2 music documentaries:

🍿 "..You probably wandering why I'm here / And so am I, so am I..."

I was a big Zappa fan since the outrageousness of 'Freak out!' in the late 60's. I even started a Zappa side-blog in 2003 on 'Grow-a-brain' [where most of the links are dead today]. So Alex Winter's moving Zappa documentary was right up my alley. Groundbreaking avant-garde experimentalist, a committed modern composer, who was so beloved in the Czech Republic. 8/10.

🍿 On the other hand, Greenwich Village - Music that defined a generation was bland and uninspired. The story about the part of 60s music that wasn't Laurel Canyon. Based on the memoirs of Bob Dylan's girlfriend, Suze Rotolo, and including snippets of performers, from Phil Ochs, Tom Paxton, Richard and Mimi Fariña, Kris Kristofferson, to Judy Collins, Arlo Guthrie, and dozen others. 2/10.

*Woman Director

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"This is nuclear war!"

The 1967 documentary Oscar winner, the BBC-produced The War Game was more of a Mondo mockumentary. Like 'Threads' which came 2 decades later, it brutally describes the horrifying effects of a hypothetical nuclear attack on Britain. Its bleak hopelessness caused so much "mayhem" in the British government, that it was promptly withdrawn from broadcasting screening. Unvarnished horror, total devastation, destruction & misery, undiluted.

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Always interested in good stories about the 'End of the world', I thought I’ll also try the new HBO series The last of us, knowing full well that I'm not big on zombies, and also never having played 'any' computer games. I soldiered through the first feature-length episode, but found it so uninspiring and mechanical, so devoid of any real emotions, I had to bail out before continuing. An adaptation of a video game, with all the depth of a stupid comic book? Or simply not for me? 1/10.

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4 shorts:

🍿 Krzysztof Kieslowski's Talking Heads, in which he asks a baby: 'What year were you born? Who are you? What do you most wish for?' The baby doesn't answer, so he keeps asking other people, each older by a year or two, until he ends with the answer of a 100-year-old woman. Simple and profound. 9/10.

🍿 The hand, a classic 1965 Czechoslovak stop motion puppet animation film, an anti-totalitarian parable.

🍿  Never Weaken, Harold Lloyd’s last 3-reeler before he moved on to feature length production, and another of his comedies where he dangles from high buildings.

🍿 The babbling book, my first (?) formulaic short with George Burns and Gracie Allen. I guess they were all structured like this, the two meet in a certain locale, (this time in a bookstore), exchange jokes for 10 minutes, she talks fast and delivers all the zingers, and he plays the straight man. M'eh.

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David Ehrlich's annual The 25 Best Films of 2023: A Video Countdown. So far I've seen 12 of them, and was planning to see 6 more.

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3 movies I couldn’t finish:

🍿 Vox published a relevant article this week about Leon Uris's bestseller 'Exodus' (and the 1960 Paul Newman adaptation of it). How influential it was in shaping the views of Americans in regards to Israel and the middle east. I have vivid memories from when I was 8 staying at my grandmother's tiny apartment in Haifa. She listened to the Adolf Eichmann's trial on the radio, and she used to read to me excerpts from 'Exodus', which she received as serials in thin pamphlets printed on cheap newsprint paper - in Yiddish.

So that prompted me to try and watch this 3+ hours long piece of Zionist Agitprop Cheese about the founding of the state of Israel. But even after 3 attempts I could only get 26 minutes in, before having to give it up.

🍿 From the few roles I've seen him, I developed a physical dislike to actor Jake Johnson, but I love Anna Kendrick, so I gave his new Self Reliance a shot. The trailer opened with an amusing scene where Andy Samberg invites the loser Johnson to join him for a limo ride. But that was the only cute or interesting scene in the whole first half of that unfunny 'comedy'. Pass!

🍿 The Diary of a Teenage Girl, an explicit story about 15-year-old girl who becomes sexually active by starting a relationship with her mother's boyfriend, Alexander Skarsgård, made by all-female team. But I went back to it 3 times, and could not watch more than 20 minutes.

*Woman Director

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Throw-back to the "Art project”:  

Zombies Adora.

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(My complete movie list is here)

[and-a-stolen-object]

This is what happens when I get boerd:

Au - Jacques and Olivia

They are family friends and meet through them instead of VFD

No deaths only happiness because I’m a naive idiot

The Snickets - Jacques, Kit and Lemoney and the Calibans - Miranda, Noah and Olivia (they aren’t related despite the names) are family friends and spend most weekends together at each other’s houses. Playing boerd games, reading books, etc. They are all really good friends and are super close.

During this time Jacques and Olivia develop feelings for each other and seek advice from their siblings. Obviously the Calibans and Snickets would love nothing more than these two to get together. Everyone could see there chemistry and compatibility. So the four siblings make it their quest to get them together.

However Jacques is very stubborn and won’t reveal his feelings despite them being strong and radiant and Olivia thinks Jacques doesn’t like her like that because in her head she was nothing and he could get a lot better.

This serveally complicates the siblings job of getting them together however they manage it.

One weekend they say that for Sunday lunch they would all go out for a meal together before the Calibans to go home. Little did Jacques and Olivia know that they wouldn’t be showing up and this was all a ploy to get them on a date.

It took them both a long time to realise what was happening. They just thought everyone was running late. However when Larry (Jacques best friend) whispered his siblings plan in his ear Jacques smiled at Olivia with such affection, knowing she like him back.

You see, the Snickets had told Larry everything. About Jacques feeling for Olivia and Olivia’s for Jacques. They told him how they were reciprocated and stronger than ever. They just had to get them to tell each other. Larry was completely on bored with the idea and made sure their lunch was as romantic yet subtle as it could possibly be.

That lunch was great. They had such a laugh and got to learn so many facts about one another that they couldn’t in their family setting. They got to bond more and this just made their romantic feelings for one another shine brighter. Then Jacques convinced Olivia to go for a walk with him around the city. (Larry had to make sure he wouldn’t bail on the plan first, he definitely wasn’t going to, not now he knew their feelings were both strong and true). They spent the entire day together chatting and enjoying each other’s company. Falling more and more every step the took together.

Then as the sun set Jacques thought there was no better time than now to tell her. In the golden sun light, she looked so beautiful to him. He knew he was falling in love with her and that she had to know, he just hoped she’d reciprocate. He stop her by the bank and leaned against the wall. He was shaking slightly so Olivia places a hand on his shoulder in comfort. This sent shock waves through the mans spine and that was when he realised he was in fact in love with this woman and didn’t want to waste another second with her. So he revealed his feelings. How she was the light of his life and the most beautiful, smart, funny, amazingly perfect woman he had ever met. Olivia couldn’t control her self. Her smile kept growing as he spoke until it was fit to fall off. She couldn’t believe that the handsome, noble, kind, funny, charming, sweet wonderful Jacques had feelings for plain old her. However at that moment she couldn’t think about how strange it sounded. All she could think about was how lucky she really was and that she loved this man to the moon and back, and she lived her. It was perfect. This moment was perfect. As soon as he was done she shot her face up to his and kissed him for a long long time. It was magical for both of them.

Jacquelyn, who has stayed late at the bank to watch and make sure everything was going according to plan, calls Larry to assure him the scheme had worked. They were both so happy that their two awkward friends had finally admitted their love to one another. It was brilliant. Larry and Jacquelyn then raced to the Snickets house (where the Snickets and Calibans were awaiting the news). They were all so happy that this had worked and were ready to celebrate. They had gotten the drinks and snacks laid out and had all of their questions ready for the new couple.

However they didn’t anticipate that Jacques and Olivia wouldn’t come home that night. (Well they might have gone to the Calibans home but who knows... or maybe they went to a hotel... they went somewhere sentimental that’s for sure) anyway. As soon as it got to midnight and they were sure they wouldn’t be coming back that night Kit and Lem let everyone stay over at there’s. Not knowing where Jacques and Olivia went and not wanting to accidentally walk in on them doing what ever they were doing. So they would sleep their and await their return the next day. Ready to tease them to no ends about what they had gotten up to last night.

~

Tbh I’m kinda proud of this. But at the same time this is really soppy so... If I had any skill I would have made a fic but I do not. Anyway i probs won’t write anything this soppy again. I just lost my other one and used this old one as a replacement. How I’ve changed. Also this ship isn’t as popular anymore so yanno. This is what boredom does to a perosn.