#jackie's like 10 ish

[grimcygnet]

pretty proud of this little scene of little jackie and helen i made in hero forge

[sirfrogsworth]

How do you take a photo of time?

I've been watching the track events at the Olympics since I was a wee lad. It was a tradition in our family. We'd gather around our ancient low-definition 19 inch CRT television and watch tiny blobs compete against other tiny blobs and root for our country.

It was a bit like watching YouTube on your phone in 144p.

Several heroes emerged.

Jackie Joyner-Kersee was amazing.

You can't forget about Flo-Jo.

And then the Olympics decided NBA players were allowed in the competition.

Which formed... The Dream Team.

Was this fair?

Well... they won each game by an average of 44 points.

So... no. It was not fair.

Though it became more fair as time went on.

But, umm... yeah. The other teams looked like the Washington Generals and the US looked like the Harlem Globetrotters if they stopped screwing around half of the game.

But my absolute favorite Olympian was a runner named Michael Johnson.

He was cool as heck.

For one thing... gold shoes.

But he also had this crazy, upright, Tom Cruise-ish sprinting style that just made him look like a running robot on the track.

And in the 1996 Atlanta games he just trounced EVERYONE. I mean, it wasn't even close.

Yikes. Those losing blobs are probably really embarrassed.

Last night I decided to invigorate my nostalgia and watch the track events again. And I got to see one of the wildest races in history.

It didn't even last 10 seconds but it was one of the most exciting sporting events I've ever witnessed. Almost every runner won the race.

After I saw that initially, I was like... who the heck won???

Even in slow motion I wasn't sure.

This was one of the closest finishes in history. There has never been a race where all 8 runners were within this margin.

The arena was silent as the winner was being confirmed. The runners just kind of paced around waiting for official word. My best guess was the Jamaican runner, Kishane Thompson. But then the loudspeaker announced Noah Lyles.

The last tiny morsel of American pride burst out of me with a big "Wooooo!"

I forgot what it was like to be proud of my country. I wish it happened more often. But this young man, despite being last place in the first 3rd of the race, turned on the afterburners and won in a photo finish.

And that's when my inner nerd took over.

Because when they showed the photo finish image, it looked super weird.

Why is the track white?

Why do all of the runners look all warpy like that QWOP game?

So I went down a research rabbit hole to figure this out.

Photo finishes are actually fascinating. The first photo finish captured the end of a horse race in 1890. But that was mostly luck and timing. The actual photo finish mechanisms weren't used until 1937.

Originally they would film the finish line through a physical slit.

And the first horsie head that appeared in that slit would be the winner. This technology ended a huge aspect of corruption in horse race fixing almost overnight.

But we have come a long way since then. And I'd like to introduce you to the Omega Scan 'O' Vision Ultimate.

This slow motion camera sits fixed on the finish line of every race. The concept of the photo finish has remained remarkably similar to the 1930s approach. The camera sensor is specially designed to only record a vertical slit.

Only the finish line itself is actually captured.

And because it limits what it records to only that slit, it can capture 40,000 frames per second to get amazing temporal resolution.

So why don't the photo finishes just look like, well... this?

That is because the camera takes a picture of time more-so than dimensional space. I guess it would be more accurate to say it *assembles* a picture of time.

As the runners cross the finish line, the camera combines all of the little strips of pictures into a single image.

It's almost like if you tried to reassemble a piece of paper after it had been shredded.

Imagine each strip of paper is a picture of ONLY the finish line, just at a slightly different point in time.

What if someone stopped on the finish line and didn't move... what would that look like?

Once they got there, the same part of their body would just be repeated.

So the right side of the photo finish picture represents earlier in time and it just assembles the image strip by strip as time passes and you literally get a picture of time itself.

NEAT!

Okay, but how do they determine the winner from the photo finish?

I mean, that shoe looks like it is ahead of Noah Lyles!

Clavicles!

The IAFF rules state the foremost part of the torso must cross the finish line first. And the endpoint of the torso is the outer end of the clavicle.

So if you get this bone across the finish line first, you win the race.

Two more fun facts!

The start of the race is actually just as carefully timed as the end of the race. There are sensors in the starting blocks of each runner.

The starting gun also has an electronic sensor.

They have determined the fastest a human can react to the sound of a gun is roughly 100 milliseconds. So if you start running before 100 milliseconds they know you didn't actually hear the gun, you just got antsy and started running too early.

And the final fun fact...

Did you notice the Omega logo at the top of the photo finish?

That isn't superimposed or added after the fact. That is captured by the camera.

But if this image is composed only of tiny little slivers, how did they get the Omega logo to show up?

That is a little display. And it is synchronized with the Scan 'O' Vision Ultimate to show a little sliver of the Omega logo for each frame captured.

So when the final image is stitched together, it looks like a cohesive logo at the top of the photo.

Pretty clever, Omega!

[jeonhwang]

Wonwoo + cuddling

pairing: wonwoo x fem reader

[ ❤️ ]

It's a cold night tonight, but not too cold. Cold enough that you're putting socks but still wearing your shorts kinda cold.

Shower is always your favourite part, and like the usual you take your sweet time. Shaving while you're in the middle of it too.

Giggling to yourself, you think of your boyfriend right next door, probably scrolling through his phone with one of his hand tucked under his head, armpit exposed. Just imagining his position makes you swoon because nothing can top sleepy Wonwoo.

Sleepy, shirtless, sexy Wonwoo.

With that Wonwoo in your mind, you quickly finish showering, moving on to lathering your lotion and doing your night time skincare. Takes you a minimum of 7-10 minutes on a normal day but not today, you swoop swoop swoop pat pat pat and you're done.

Basically running to the bedroom, your knees automatically shake at the image.

As expected, Wonwoo, clad only in his sweatpants, black rimmed glasses on top of his sharp nose, is scrolling through his phone. One arm is tucked under his head, and the bicep there bulged like it is nobody's business.

He sees you through the corner of his eyes and moves his phone away, smilling cutely at you. "Why are you standing there, come to bed." He pats the spot next to him, unaware of just how mouthwatering he looks with his muscles all bulging and contracting with every move.

And you, with all the hormones plus the image of Wonwoo you fed yourself in the shower, runs across the room and practically jumps on him, making you straddle his slim waist.

He catches you, though there is nothing to catch because you landed gracefully—as graceful as you can be with jumping—on top of him. A huff comes out from Wonwoo as he chuckles at your action.

"You feeling Jackie Chan-ish today babe? What's up with you?"

You give him the widest smile, and without answering, you lie chest to chest, on top of him. Your legs, folded and bent on both sides of him, squeezing his frame as tight as you can.

His smells so good, you just can't help but lift your head, and bite his bicep. His hand, which was ruffling your hair, stops as he tries to wrench himself from you.

But then, he tries this move where he holds you in a headlock, and rolls to the other side, pulling you with him. The scene looks like something out of WWE.

"I know you like it when I'm rough with you babe. Think of it as foreplay." You burst out laughing from his words, knowing just how true it is.

He laughs together with you, phone now long forgotten. Seconds later, he arranges your position so that you're back on top of him again.

"Can you please rub my back?" Gladly, he does whatever you ask him to. Sometimes he playfully grabs your ass, which got you moaning.

"I'll be honest." He starts.

You narrow your eyes, shooting daggers as if to warn him that whatever that he is going to say, he better be careful.

"I thought I was an ass guy, until you."

"And.. that is a compliment because?" You can never guess, but if people were to ask, you'd say that Wonwoo is a boob guy considering how much he likes to play with with yours. But then, times like this for example, he goes straight to your ass.

"I love your ass," he emphasized it with squeezing both your ass cheeks, "but your boobs are definitely the most beautiful." His eyes peers down, directly into your cleavage.

He mentioned once how much he loves the beauty mark on your boob, your left boob to be exact. He would always unconsciously kiss the mark during sex, and his eyes went straight to the mark if he was ogling your boobs.

Even now, he lifts one arm off of your back, just to squish your boob, exactly on the mark.

Snickering, you play with his hair, nodding along.

"Well, I love the mark below your eyes. I love your nose. I love it when you laugh and your nose just scrunch, it's the cutest thing. Oh, and I love your armpits." With that, you lift his arm up and bite his armpit, finding pleasure in his body writhing under yours. You just love it when you can manhandle a guy as big and buff as your boyfriend. And the best part? He just lets you, what an enabler.

Your are getting carried away with teasing him that you don't realize, half of your body is now in the air, making your boobs dangle in front of you.

You are not wearing anything sexy, just a camisole top, royal blue camisol that matches with one of Wonwoo's many pajamas set. But it gives easy access, if you know what I mean.

With that, Wonwoo tugs on your camisole, freeing your boobs before he flips the both of you, so you're now under him.

Wasting no time, he dives to your chest, trailing kisses and biting along your underboobs. Your latest sweet spot that he discovered.

Your fingers immediately thread into his hair, pulling and tugging on the strands and your let go of whatever control that you have left, surrendering to the pleasure.

You thank the heavens for giving Wonwoo the insights on how to pleasure you, because you never knew this spot was such a turn on. You are so sensitive along your underboobs that he got you squirming and literally wetting yourself. While his mouth is busy with your underboobs, his hands are busy with your nipples. Occasionally, one of his hand will take turn to run down your sides, causing you to shiver and raising goosebumps on your skin.

Then, Wonwoo got up, and kisses your lips with the same gentleness that he gave to your boobs. No, the kiss is actually way softer.

You love his kisses. He is always so giving, he can kiss you for hours if he feels your lips chasing his the moment he pulls away.

Finally, he lies on his side, still not letting go of your lips, pulling your closer to him so that you are both chest to chest.

When he finally pulls away, he leans to kiss your forehead, tugging you under his chin, a sign that he's asking you to go to sleep now.

Pouting, you sigh harshly, because he left you hanging with no release.

"I'll finish you tomorrow. Now sleep, or you won't get anything."

[furryllamas]

Can’t Help Falling in Love | A. Walter

+ Alex Walter x OC

+ Summary: Life has been difficult for sisters Jackie and Eden Howard. Obviously regular teenage girl problems, such as boys, school, and friends. Except tragedy that ensues, the death of their parents and older sister. They'll have to navigate a life without their family, just throw in love, the countryside, and a whole lot of boys in one roof.

+ Authors Note: Hey guys I really hope you enjoy this first chapter, I was really inspired after seeing Ashby play Alex and absolutely fell in love 🤍

 Chapter 0.0 | Two Time Zones Apart

The sound of LA traffic was not great, but it was definitely quieter than the sound of the streets of New York. It's only been 6 Months since I moved to LA semi-permanently. I still got homesick often but there was no place like California. Ever since the transition from being a model to a singer it was a choice I had to make, with mom and dads approval of course, even if it meant seeing Lucy and Jackie less.

"Oh Gosh. What time is it?" I grumbled as I rubbed my eyes. I looked towards my bedside table and picked up my phone. "10:30 AM" I removed the bed covers and stretched my arms over my head. The smell of my room always gave me some comfort in the mornings. I headed to the restroom and pulled my hair into a bun and turned the faucet on. I started washing my teeth when I heard my phone ringing. I ran back to my room to pick up my phone that was lying on the bed. A video call from Jackie. I quickly pick up the phone as I walk back to the bathroom.

"Juswt whun sewkand-" I attempted to say with the tooth brush still in my mouth. Jackie let out a quick laugh, "take your time Eid." I put my finger up, just one moment, and place the phone in front of the faucet handles, holding it up. I quickly rinse out the toothpaste and splashed my face with water to ensure I would fully wake myself up.

"Hi Jacks! How's it going?" I waved and picked up my phone.

"EDEN! It's going so well! I can't wait for you and Lucy to come home today! I missed you guys so much." Jackie smiled softly.

"Oh my, we haven't been away from you that longgggg" I teased as i sat down on my Vanity. I panned my phone to the stack of luggage by my window.

"Okay I know, BUT, I just missed you guys so much." She sighed. "It's been a month since I've seen you and Lucy. I'm just so excited for you to see my excellent work tonight."

"I know Jacks, My flight is at 2 so I'll probably be there by 7-ish." I start applying my makeup and look away from my phone. " and plus Lucy will be there sooner than me, so you'll get her while you wait for meeee."

She laughs, "Right, what would I do without your wisdom." She stays quiet for a couple of seconds, "How's your new song going?"

I wince, "It's going..." She looks at me confused. "I've just been lacking in inspiration lately. I'm hoping going home will help with that."

"I'm sure you'll get a spark of inspiration once you spend some good old fashioned time at the ballet with me."

"Thanks Jackie, I've missed you guys so much. I can't wait to get there tonight."

I stop to think. "Dinner at The Penrose?"

I look at her smile, "of course Eden! That's our spot."

"All right deal" I look at the time, 11:30AM, "All right sis, I have to head to the airport, see you soon!" I reach over to hang up, "wait! Remember mom and dad will pick you up later tonight so we can all go to dinner together."

"Okay, perfect! Bye Jacks, love you!"

"Bye Eids!" I hung up.

I start getting up and shutting the curtains. It might be a while until I'm back but I'd rather keep my room clean.

Ding Dong.

I head over to the front door that smells strongly of oak. Walking past the pictures I have hanging of Mom, Dad, Lucy, Jackie and I. I open the door and smile as I see the face of my amazing Manager, Lizzie. "Liz! Come to say goodbye to your favorite client." I giggled as she stepped in. "Excuse me! Not just my client, more like my favorite friend!" I hug her and drag her to my room.

"Oh gosh, look at all this baggage..." she exclaims standing in front of my suitcases. She reaches over and picks one up. "Alright Eden! Let's get moving and load these into the car, your driver is waiting."

I look over to her and smile, "You got it boss!" I salute. It was an easy load up and we wasted no time getting in the car. "Are you excited to see your family again?" Lizzie asked. "Yeah I'm a bit nervous though. I haven't seen them in a couple of months, I feel like I've missed out on a lot." It was hard being apart from them and not being able to see them as often as I used to.

Lizzie looks at me and smiles softly, her polished nails and her soft hands reach over to mine. She grabs them and turns to me. "E, you need this. You've been homesick for a while and I think this trip will help you with the new song." I lean my head back against the headrest and turn my face to look out of the window. "I know Liz." I turn back towards her. "Thank you for helping me today. It means a lot. I'll miss you lots."

She just smiles at me and I start feeling tired, car rides always seem to wear me out. I take one last look at the highway we're on and slowly close my eyes. I let sleep take over me and an oddly weird feeling at the pit of my stomach. I hear Liz whisper, "I'll wake you when we get there."

[httpiastri]

this took way longer than expected but im back!

quick warning: this ask is really really long so putting that separation banner thing might help but if not, i hope this doesn’t bother anyone who has this pop up on their dash 😞🙏 (and please don’t hate me if it does)

important timestamps in pepe’s stream:

0:33 — pepe smiles and waves

1:21 — idk what this is but it’s so cute

3:54 — he got embarrassed 😭😭

9:03 — this is just attractive tbh

12:38 — 😊😊 (but really though why is he so casually attractive this is so unfair)

16:03 — his laugh…

12:33 — praising his mum

18:13 — from “i’m so sad” (x3) to “just get good mate”

18:37 — chitter chatter

19:32 — laugh

20:15 — quick flex 🤭😋

30:25 — his inner dork shows up and starts rating pokémon for us

42:19 — quick drop of the f-word

43:05 — bro idk this is just so cute he looks like that one specific picture of an otter begging for food with its paws together 😭😭

51:55 — quick mention of an incident (or backstory?) regarding his name that he proceeds to not tell us about

53:09 — this isn’t really pepe but christian has such a stupid sense of humour and icl i laughed

1:00:40 — christian’s stupid humour shows up again and this si the exact kind of joke i’d laugh so hard at and make under very specific circumstances and PEPE’S laugh is just so endearing here i love him so much

1:02:38 — pepe is good at chess, according to christian. don’t know if this is true— i used to play too but i forgot the rules and my family exclusively plays checkers (everyone’s insanely good at it) so i currently have zero knowledge about chess.

1:04:32 — “too tall 😞😞” (again, not for me, because my head would be right at chest level, as you so perfectly put into perspective for me😋😋)

1:05:55 — “kimi was always perfect” talk by christian and pepe

1:07:07 — pepe’s upset, christian says exactly what i’d say to him (this is just sweet tbh)

1:09:40 — quick stretch 🥰🥰

1:10:58 — i might be biased but i just think he’s so good at explaining and putting into perspective what exactly happens/happened during the race for us non-drivers

1:11:20 — ^^

1:11:37 — also so endearing

1:12:50 — sportsmanship or whatever but i love that he’s so respectful towards everyone

1:13:38 — kendall jenner mention by christian, also don’t knowwhat it is about this moment but it made me feel something about their friendship with sebastian (i don’t know how to put this feeling into words but i think they are mostly positive feelings)

1:24:33 — quick little dance to gata only (why’s he literally doing my default dance though 😭😭) but it’s okay i just think it’s so adorable

1:25:25 — CORRECTION: he can bench 138kg… which is insane to me but also he can do 150 on leg press?? that’s like three of me bro that’s so scary (🥰🤭😍😊) to think about

1:27:10 — christian reacts to pepe’s fitness the way i would (insanely)

1:38:56 — driving driving 🏎️🏎️ (really long section where i wanted to stare at him but was also enchanted and captivated by the smooth driving)

1:50:16 — “that’s what they said” joke 🤨📸

1:54:55 — quick thumbs up and a smile (what a lovable sweetheart)

2:12:00 — quick 🫶 followed by him crossing his arms

i’m sure there are more significant moments than this (like when he accidentally launched a tomato at christian in their game ((this is significant to me because again, i have a really stupid sense of humour and laughed really hard at that too)) but this is all i recorded and they’re mainly significant because they made me feel things (🤥🤥)

okay that’s it, bye bye!! some of the timestamps at the start (ish) might be a little off and you might’ve already watched the entire video but i hope this was helpful for you and anyone who may come across this (tbh this wasn’t an entirely selfless endeavour but anyway)— until next time (if and when new pepe content is dropped)!

p.s. i hope you also have a lovely lovely day ahead jackie!!

- 🪷

i'm very late but omFG i love you so much? you're crazy good ????? this was such a pleasure to read and watch, thank u sm 😭💗

(ppl cant hate since its about pepe <3<3 sorry not sorry guys)

0:33 and 1:21 – such a gorgeous boy :(( i love him so much :(((( i also don't really understand what's happening at 1:21 but his smile and laughter after makes me melt

3:54 – HE'S SO EMBARRASSED LMAO WHAT A CUTIE ?? he just doesn't stop laughing, and the little blush on his cheeks... the way his voice changes and 😭

9:03 – he's SO attractive and for what? he's not even doing anything?? but the arms around the chair..... and like i'm a knuckle cracker and hand/finger stretcher as well so whenever he does it i just melt bcs i find it so hot :( also him when chris goes "ÖÖÖÖÖÖ" into the mic and then complaining about the music being so loud idK HES JUST SO CUTE DOING PRETTY MUCH NOTHING BYE–

12:38 – casually attractive is a very fitting term for him... how is it possible ???

16:03 – I WANNA SCREAM AND CRY ?????? no his smile is the most adorable thing ever. i rlly wanna make a pepe laughter compilation but then i would never do anything productive ever again....

16:33 – mum mention <3<3 boys who are appreciative of their mothers <3<3<3<3

18:13 – the switchup 😭 and also him emphasizing "so", like "i'm SO sad"....... and also also his laughter after it 😭 and when he does that kind of like chortle thing? like at the back of his mouth thing? idk what it's called in english, someone help????? idk it's adorable anyway

18:37 – my bestie translated for me but i still understood nothing 💔 HE SOUNDS SO CUTE THO like him speaking spanish is always so 💗

19:32 – BABYYYYYYY!!!!! he is the most adorable person ever, im not even kidding

20:15 – oh i'm totally okay, no worries 👍

30:25 – I LOVE THIS i have no knowledge of pokemons (that was an overstatement, i know stuff but i haven't played since i was like 10) but i love that sm, dorky boys >>>>> the way he speaks about them is so cute idc. also him saying that pokemon is a very important thing to him is so 😭

42:19 – i definitely did not clip this the second i first read through this ask.... no but like why was that so attractive 🫠🫠 not fair (also him apologizing for it?? b a b y)

43:05 – IM CRYING I KNOW JUST WHAT U MEAN BUT I CANT FIND IT 😭😭

adorable tho ^^

51:55 – why does he not say more about this?? wth??? can someone fill me in ??????????? (fits very well with something i've written for the college!pepe fic tho 🤭)

53:09 & 1:00:40 – i love chris :(( i love both of their senses of humor omg, and pepe's laugh yet again..... my heart is going crazy

1:02:38 – okay i actually know NO chess, like i know the rules but nothing else. i don't even like it usually, but pepe playing chess........ why is that attractive 🫠🫠 and being able to talk while doing it also? he looks so smart? and even doing speed chess???? waaaaaaah 😭 and chris praising him 🙃 (checkers is so cool tho, i do not know the rules but anytime i watch anyone play it im very impressed)

1:04:32 – not too tall for you 🥰 that makes me very happy 🥰 i used to have a thing for boys the same height as me but not anymore so pepe bby you're definitely not too tall <3<3

1:05:55 – i forget sometimes that drivers like them are around the same age as kimi and would've driven against him in karting lol, like i forget that even pepe and kimi are in the same category rn ?? idk life is just 😵‍💫😵‍💫

1:07:07 – "i'm always going to think you're doing a good job" 🥺 so relatable 🥺 also pepe's grin when he's being praised.......

1:09:40 – oh im alright, thanks for asking 🫡🫡 no issues, my heart definitely isn't going crazy

1:10:58 – oh yes definitely !! as someone who can't even drive a regular car, i still understand very well? and all of the details are so interesting, i love hearing them talk about it. being nerdy about the stuff you like is soooo attractive ??? idk maybe that's just me tho

1:11:37 – nyeoooommmm 🥺 baby

1:12:50 – love love love that, i feel like the two of them are quite often very honest in interviews and such? like when they went on the feeder series pod together, they had no issues criticizing stuff they don't like. and so like the same here, they aren't just saying this because they're friends with gabri i feel, it's just honesty and 🥺 it's very endearing

1:13:38 – that was so random 😭 also funny how he mentioned seb but didn't then think about the fact that seb was there and probs could've ran into her ?? 😭 but yea idk their trio friendship is so endearing idk

1:24:33 – more spanish making me weak in my knees even as im sitting down 😶 aND CUTIE DANCE!!!!!! god he rlly got my thoughts running... like listening to songs in spanish with him and dancing and him singing along and just ??? no i cant take it (ALSO PLS THATS SO CUTE KSDHFFK DANCE W HIM!!!)

1:25:25 – okay so like two days ago when i went to the gym, i was like "ain't no way pepe is gonna beat me in leg press" so i went and did 160kg just out of pure stubbornness 😶 i've never done over like 110 or 120kg but i was determined. however, i did *not* attempt to beat him in bench because i can only do max like 60kg LMAO so nope. but yeah it's definitely insane...... scary in a good way 🥰

1:27:10 – chris is very relatableeeeeeeeeeee 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 gosh

1:38:56 – him driving is so...... also idk why i love the sight of him wearing gloves for the sim AAAAAAA like i know it's not an uncommon thing but still like... idk it's just attractive 😶 and him driving that smoothly and easily while also chatting???? stop it pepe im blushing-

1:50:16 – ......no comment

1:54:55 – prettiest baby boy in the world, i kid you not

2:12:00 – who allowed him to first be the cutest cutie ever and then cross his arms like that, eye-

again tysm!! this stream gave me new hope in life 😭 whenever i feel bad i just go and watch it and...... well yeah 🥺 hope you have a lovely lovely weekend darling!!!! <3<3

[sashkapi]

What are your headcanons regarding Kyle and Jackie? I think it’s great that they were shown as friends in that particular episode.

Furthermore, why did you decide to alter your Kick Buttowski design? I don’t mind it, in fact, I think it looks really great, but I thought the previous one was fantastic.

To anwser latter first: Mostly because I missed his giant stupid collar (affectionate). Additionally, I felt like I kinda failed to make him look older in the previous design (he is supposed to be 15-ish) and I didn't like the silhouette that much so yeah.

My previous design is still "canon" in my interpretation, tho. It's his emo phase jgjkskfkd

OH YEAH, FERAL GREMLINS HEADCANONS LES GO

(Combining the two)

1. After some time Kyle's family moved in in the Mellowbrook, much to Kick's disdain. He lives on the other side of the city and goes to a different school but his visits are much more frequent now.

2. Jackie’s parrot name is "Captain SKKBRM". The last part is composed of first letters of her idols. And yes, there is a reason S comes before K. 

3. Jackie is low-key Kyle's translator. If Kyle has to say something important he goes so far off-topic with a verbal version of "wall of text" so the important part kinda gets lost. Jackie, however, can listen to him about the time he tried to tame a raccoon and say "Oh, so tomorrow's event is gonna start an hour early! Got it!"

4. Kick did talk to them about his boundaries and they more or less respected them, which allowed both Jackie and Kyle to hang out with him more often without Kick trying to escape. They're still wacky weirdos, but at least Kick tolerates them, so there's progress. 

5. While Kick tolerates them, Gunther is actually their friend. Gunther also still thinks they're wack, but to him, they're more of a "funny kind of wack". Also, they are just as casually dramatic as Gunther, so you know they would get along.

6. They have a private weekly game of "Who got more trivia about Kick". They're neck in neck in it most of the time.

7. Kyle and Ronaldo met only once and Ronaldo’s take away from that encounter is "Buttowskis must be studied in a lab. What is wrong with this family?"

8. They are besties your honor. That's it.

9. Kyle has ADHD. He was diagnosed pretty recently, and it changed the way he is treated by his close and extended family. Whenever Kyle isn't with Jackie - Kick is just way more chill and mellow with him and would hang out with him if Kyle asks. While Brad and Brianna still don't like Kyle that much, they will give you a side eye if you try to insult him by pointing out how annoying and talkative he is. 

10. On that topic - Jackie is neurotypical. She IS just a weirdo. Her reaction to learning that Kyle has ADHD was "Who is Aydee and why are they HD? Is that a camera? DID YOU GET A CAMERA THAT CAN FINALLY CAPTURE HOW AWESOME KICK IS?!" 

After learning what ADHD is - literally nothing changed with Jackie and Kyle's friendship.

11. After a while Kyle got into sewing and knitting. It wasn't surprising for anyone. The boy loves puppets, and it was only a matter of time before he started making clothes for them. 

12. Jackie on the other hand enjoys carpentry when she's... Y'know... Not stalking Kick. She carves little puppets for Kyle sometimes too.

Yes, she did carve a wooden statue of Kick, why do you ask?

13. After Kick and Kendall started dating and Jackie started to consistently obsess over Kendall as well, Kyle was a bit worried. He really values Jackie as a friend and was afraid that their friendship is based on their obsession with his cousin, so Jackie getting a new idol made him worry.(Kyle knows Kendall and is neutral about her unlike Jackie) When it came to light, Jackie’s response to that "Dude, Kick's fan or not, you're my best friend! That's like, even better than being my idol!" 

They are weirdos and they will stick together your honor :)

14. Jackie’s dad is an absent dad. Jackie thinks that she doesn't have a dad, but it never bothers her that much. 

That is to say: her dad is a celebrity, and there's a reason Jackie’s mom really doesn't like Kick.

I love them ur honor

[elvenbeard]

omg i wanna know more about vince's arasaka ex-boyfriend! he looks cute! hope he's not a dick. but then again you gotta be a certain level of dick to survive in arasaka so maybe im setting myself up. do the other co-workers know or was it a hush-hush thing?

AAHHH!!! öashdfafd thanks so much for asking!!! BETTER BUCKLE UP, this is gonna be long and angsty xDD

(putting his not-100%-polished or canon appearance here again cause I like having pics with my long posts XD)

Okay so... his name is Shou, like Vince he is half-Japanese, but he actually grew up and spent the majority of his life in Japan. He comes from a similar background as Vince, too, corpo-family with ties to Arasaka, excellent education, good grades, a little bit of an outsider even, but he never intermittently left the corpo world like Vince did. He got his entry-level position job at Arasaka fresh out of university and has been (outwardly) loyal and obedient ever since, rising in ranks in no time.

He's roughly 10 years older than Vince, and in 2074 gets transferred to Night City from Tokyo, to help with the expansion of the Counterintel department there. Technically he's on Jenkins' level, experience- and skill-wise, but since everything works a bit differently in Night City, for the time being he ends up a part of Jenkins' team on a level with Vince. It would've been Jenkins' duty to show Shou the ropes actually, but he delegates the task to good old Agent V instead, and that's how they first properly get to know and work with each other.

Let's just say, there is definitely an instant curiosity/interest and base-level of attraction from both sides XD Vince and Shou work well together, share a lot of common interests, have similar ambitious personalities, (both of them are a little bit of a dick, really), and inevitably they also spend a lot of time together. The one thing that Vince is most interested in though, that Shou always seems to avoid answering directly, is why he volunteered to come to Night City from Tokyo. Most people V knows that are striving to rise to the top would wish for it to be the other way around. Shou is always like "I wanted a change of scenery", "I wanted to broaden my horizon", "It looks good on my resume to be in the teamlead of this project" and so on, but none of that feels 100% genuine and so Vince keeps his walls up and tries to maintain a professional distance, despite really liking him otherwise. Emphasis on "tries", cause Shou is not making it easy for him either xD

Some time passes, Vince is still adamant about not wanting a relationship with a coworker (also because he is low-key worried if he lets someone into his life too closely, they might discover he's in contact with Jackie and leaking very classified company secrets to him now and then). But still, one evening Shou and him end up alone at a bar together and one thing leads to another...

Initially their relationship was definitely more on the hush-hush side, not because they were ashamed of it or anything, but because Vince didn't want to be blamed with treating Shou favorably over the others in his team because he was sleeping with him. As time went on though the others definitely caught on, and there was a little bit of drama and bad blood, but nothing they didn't know how to deal with. They had to make it official towards Jenkins and the head of the department at the time soon-ish after becoming a thing anyway though, to not run into problems on that side either, but it went surprisingly smooth. Vince actually was very very happy at the time and wouldn't have figured to ever find someone he'd click so well with that he started to imagine a long-lasting future together.

Long story short though... It never came to that. I mentioned in the lore post that their relationship ended abruptly and bitter, and yeah. Let's just say, Shou hadn't come to Night City for a change of scenery, but as part of an elaborate plan he'd been setting up for years to get out of Arasaka for good, make a bunch of money in the process, and disappear from the face of the earth. Fuck off to somewhere where they'd never be able to track him down, the Soviet Union or something like that. He hadn't planned on genuinely falling in love with Vince though.

Aware that Vince was (apparently) very loyal to Arasaka, he also knew it would need some effort to convince him to come along with him, leave everything behind for good and start over somewhere new. So, what's his idea here? Make it seem like Vince is leaking info to a competing corp by messing with his computer and files. He abused Vince's trust to basically force him to come with him, cause at the press of a button he'd be able to notify Jenkins of Vince’s “betrayal” and he would have no other choice but to run away. Vince figures this out accidentally, and just briefly before Shou can set him up in a way so that there would’ve been no turning back. Since Vince is *actually* leaking company info, just not to a corp but his best friend whose safety he’s now also extremely scared for, he kind of has to make a choice between “run away with the love of my life” and “run to Jenkins and tell him about the setup before Shou can go through with his plan”. And he ends up choosing Jenkins out of loyalty to Jackie.

Let’s just say… the ensuing chaos did not end well for neither Shou nor Vince, but at least Vince walks out of it somewhat alive. Shou never felt in the wrong btw (and really, he was not wrong to want to get himself and Vince out of Arasaka asap). He did what he did out of love, genuinely convinced it was the only thing and the right thing he could've done. Best, most loving intentions, worst possible execution.

(one day, when I have Vince in NPV format, be ready for gut-wrenching VP of all of this. I'M NOT OKAY ABOUT THEM. Also, imagine the very awkward convo with Kerry later on that starts with "So, I told you everything about Louise... now how did your last relationship end?")

[pilferingapples]

Les Miserables 1948 pt 2 (a) : In Which Absolutely Nothing Will Be Explained

My previous review posts here: 1a and 1b

Warning that those posts, like this post, contain spoilers. Yes even if you've read Les Miserables. Especially if you've read Les Miserables. I really strongly advise not reading this post if you think you're gonna see this version soon because going in unspoilered was a treat.

That said, let's roll!!

The second half starts with the Amis!! They're all printing Illegal Materials and discussing the latest censorship laws!

[ID: a group of photos of the Amis, young-ish men in surprisingly good 1830s outfits, reading a paper that offers "1,000 francs to anyone that will provide information likely to lead to the identification or arrest of the makers, holders, or disseminators of revolutionary newspapers, posters, pamphlets." /end ID]

Credit where credit's more than due: this is a fantastic way of introducing a large group of new characters and a new setting (wider Paris)! As they discuss their work, we learn more about them, their goals, and Parisian politics. Elegant and efficient! genuinely , I love this approach and wish more adaptations would do something like it

Unfortunately, while they do showcase several people doing various tasks, they don't name all of them--a shame, when it would have been so easy! But we do get to meet

Enjolras and Marius, the older leaders of the group! Here, Marius (left) is trying to get Enjolras (on the right) to leave Paris for his own safety (it does not work):

[ID: Marius tells Enjolras "And we must think, Enjolras, how you can get away from Paris for some time." /end ID] Courfeyrac, a younger, clothes-focused revolutionary, and of course Gavroche:

[ID: Enjolras brings Courfeyrac, a younger revolutionary, "Courfeyrac, distribute them in the foyer of the opera and at the Jackie club." Courfeyrac responds: "But I can't go like this, I must change my clothes. " Enjolras: "Mm...Do as you will." Gavroche, a kid about 10-12ish, watches this conversation./end ID] and of course, everyone's favorite

tumblr's star of this show

GRANTAIRE!!!

[ID: Closeup on Grantaire! a short, loudly dressed... 65 year old man?? saying " I know by heart the whole Constitution of the Year 2 ! "/ end ID ]] I bet you do, 48! Grantaire! I bet you were there!

[ID: Grantaire brags that "I can talk about it for six consecutive hours. I've been timed. " while Gavroche prepares to burst a paper bag behind him. /end ID]

(Gavroche's relationship with this Grantaire so far delights me, in that it's mostly based on pranking him)

Were you ready?? I was not ready!!!

Anyway then the police break in and there's a SHOOTOUT and Marius escapes and runs through the streets of Paris and Cosette lets him into her and Valjean's house!! Marius flirts with Cosette by guessing that her favorite author is ANDRE CHENIER!! Valjean sends Marius some mixed messages by hiding him from the cops and then telling Marius to go away and then going to Marius' apartment to tell him to never try to see Cosette again and frankly,dude, a guy could think you were following him!

Oh yeah Marius' apartment is an inn run by the Thenardiers. Eponine is the general serving-girl there and he's just as conscious and careful of her feelings as he is in the book:

fckin OUCH

We also find out that Marius is living in the Thenardier's new inn on CREDIT?? Thenardier is just...bankrolling him?? WHY (this will not be explained so just forget it)

Marius goes to meet Cosette (whose dresses, in keeping with this show, are Pretty Darn Good!)

--and I have to say I think this show does a good job (so far!) with Valjean and Cosette's relationship! Yes, he's overprotective and keeps them too isolated-- but he does it out of concern rather than control, and she's not afraid of him, she trusts him and worries about hurting him, not being hurt by him, and he's always concerned for her safety and happiness above all. As she tells Marius in this scene, she never even noticed how isolated she was before-- she's been happy! I think they really get some of that Gothic haunted element around this house and Cosette's life , and it's great!

Marius leaves for the Revolution, telling Cosette to not worry for him (!) and Cosette goes inside and gets told there's a man waiting for her ??

[ID: Toussaint tells Cosette "He's in the hall, he was very insistent. He says his name is Baron Thenard." /end ID]

Thenardier tries to scam Cosette by pretending to be an old friend of her mom's

And it's actually a fantastic scene? Cosette reveals that she knows nothing of her past, and we can see how that's made her vulnerable; and we learn how desperate she is to learn more about the mother she can't remember.

I really like this move to make Thenardier Cosette's villain/nemesis, the haunt from her past! it makes so much sense , given...everything else up to this point...and gives her a chance for some excellent character moments!

Fortunately Valjean interrupts Thenardier's attempt to Scam Cosette! and then Valjean and Thenardier agree to meet at the Old Mill Thenardier Inn?!?

And then ..

ok what happens next should obviously be the Gorbeau Raid, except:

Marius has nothing to do with it. At all. Marius is not anywhere close to this, he's gone to join the Revolution, remember?

Eponine is not? there?

There is A LIGHTNING STORM for no reason?

VALJEAN HAS A GUN

the cops show up despite having absolutely no reason to??

I cannot usefully screencap this scene, its genius lies in its pacing, but also I am not sure how it's relevant anymore to the entire rest of the show! Kicking out Marius' Thenardier/ Napoleon issues kinda destroys half the relevance of the scene and Valjean and Thenardier already having acknowledged each other (and Thenardier knowing where he lives!) removes most of the rest. All we have left is FIGHT SCENE but then that's what this movie is about baby!!!

[ID: Valjean being embraced by the Patron Minette as they all try to avoid the police. No really, that's what's happening. /end ID]

I have no idea what's going to happen at the barricades! I am so excited!

[forcebookish]

6 and 8 for the fanfic ask!

6. Which yet-to-be-started fic is first on your list?

oh dear... well, i have ten forcebook*, four sydrian, three (?) kaibaek, two ichiruki, one stucky, and one megzag. and honestly with all the irons in the fire i already have going on (10 active, give or take), i have no idea where the muse will take me.

since i'm replaying hades, megzag is climbing up the docket, but once i finish rereading the ruby circle (i'm stuck!!!! it's so frustrating how obvious the bad guy is jackie's sister like come on guys 😭 you just got married why are you separated😭), sydrian will probably also get up there🤔 the problem with the sydrian ideas is that they could all exist in the same canon divergence, so i haven't been able to figure out if i want to make one long-ish fic or individual one shots. and if i do morph them all together, what's the connective tissue? or will it just be snapshots, stand-alone chapters in the same universe? or is there a PLOT?

yet after saying all that, i think there is one forcebook fic in particular that i've been thinking about starting but it doesn't have a clear structure in my mind's eye yet.

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you've never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

i've posted about this recently but ribbon bondage! specifically, ichiruki using reiraku; but recently, the forcebook fic i mentioned above would feature ribbon bondage too so... we'll see. it might actually get done!

thank you for playing 🥺💖

[inlap]

tagged by @oconist !! :)

Rules: tag 10 (ish) people you want to know better

Relationship status: single. i post f1 rpf i feel like this is a given.

Three fave foods: man idk. sour gummies? yakiudon? pad thai? i like noodles and candy hehe <3

Favourite colour: blue

Song stuck in your head: i guess ironic by alanis morissette? it's like raaaaain :( on your wedding day !

Last thing you googled: baked tofu recipe lolll

Last thing you listened to: make me feel - jackie venson (suuch a good artist would def recommend!!)

Time: 11:05

Anything I really want now: mmm i don't drink coffee normally but i could go for like. a nice coffee. rn

too shy to tag anyone :) mutuals if you see this i am mentally tagging you!!

[janelevy]

tagged by @rachel-bloom ily!!

what book are you currently reading? 

before i fall by lauren oliver. just a quick reread before i (hopefully) get some new books for christmas!

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? 

well i only saw 2 in theaters (top gun: maverick and don’t worry darling), sooo out of those 2... i guess it would have to be top gun

what do you usually wear? 

currently i’m loving sweaters/flannels/hoodies + basic blue jeans or black leggings. my fave jacket atm is my yellowjackets letterman that i spent way too much money on

how tall are you? 

i guess like 5′3-ish? but honestly people tell me i seem taller so? maybe the doctor has been lying all these years who knows

what’s your star sign? 

gemini, unfortunately

do you go by your name or a nickname?

i prefer my nickname! just em for me, thanks.

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? 

i went through a few phases as a kid tbh. first i wanted to be a vet, then a teacher. neither of those have panned out. i’m still in school and i’ve been writing as a hobby for over 10 years so i guess you could say i’m still doing what i liked to do for fun when i was a kid? but career-wise, so far nope.

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one? 

i am not. and currently my only crushes are talented famous people who don’t know i exist.

dogs or cats? 

dogs!

if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

i jumped around several fandoms and projects this year, but my baby for 2022 would have to be my yellowjackets time loop fic “freeze”. probably my favorite line for it atm is “In every version of today, Jackie is falling for her best friend. On another today, she even got to kiss her. That will have to be enough.” god i just love jackie and shauna so so much

what’s something you would like to create content for?

there are several fandoms that i get momentarily obsessed with and then they seem to pass through my awareness like sand in a sieve. i would be quite late to the party, but i’d still like to finish that paper girls fic i started someday. i also want to write something leighton-focused for the sex lives of college girls because yeah, i obviously have a Type when it comes to characters.

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with? 

yellowjackets, always. also sex lives of college girls and wednesday (was not expecting that one, but here we are)

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? 

don’t worry darling 🙈 i’m such a big florence fan so i really was looking forward to it. i also thought i was let down by taylor’s new album but i’ve warmed up to midnights after a few more listens (still feel meh towards it compared to folklore & evermore, tho)

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

umm... is it weird to say problem-solving? just like generic everyday issues, sometimes it seems like i look at them from a different angle than my family does

are you religious? 

nope! still celebrate certain “religious” holidays tho

what’s something you wish to have at this moment? 

call me materialistic, but a nice new car. the speaker system/radio in mine is completely shot and i’m just tired of it lmao

tagging @avatrices @wannaliveattheholidayinn @wirypsychiatrist @crockettmarcel @flythesail @lessonincanvases @alittlebitbrave but zero pressure ofc

also tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it!! i’d love to learn how y’all are doing!

[wannabedjs]

1983

Epic year for my music .A number of releases this year that set the format for “college radio”. You got REM, violent femmes, U2, new order, X, Billy idol, tears for fears, eurythmics, talking heads

A banner year for Pop music. Thriller got released late 1982, so that was a mainstay,then in 83’ a 24 y/o New Yorker named Madonna released her self titled debut album, Lionel Richie with a record that had five top 10 hits, Billy Joel- his top record-innocent man, U2, journey

Rock ‘n’ roll was more 60s rockin than 80s synth rock. x, quiet riot, ZZ Top, David Bowie, the police, Genesis, U2, Rolling Stones, motley Crew, and Def Leppard starting the hair metal bands.

And got some hard ass punk rock with acts like Bad Brains & Suicidal Tendencies…ALL I WANTED IS A PEPSI!!!!

Still fresh 40 years later

- [ ] Violent Femmes - ROY..recall being a freshman(1988) in high school and hearing Blister in the Sun for the 1st time. One of those music memories that easily outduels Alzheimer’s Disease

- [ ] Talking heads- their seminal release Speaking In Tongues

- [ ] Madonna - self titled. This record changed pop music . You got thriller released late 82 & then madonna in summer of 83 with 4-5 sure 🔥 hits.

- [ ] REM: Murmur. Debut which may be one of my fav REM records. 80s REM>>>90s REM

- [ ] John mellencamp- uh huh!! Has 4-5 classic American songs. Jackie O is a subtle highlight

- [ ] Bowie- let’s dance. Post Berlin trio, it’s Bowie crossing to middle America with songs like Let’s Dance and Modern Love..Stevie ray vaughn and Niles Rogers on guitars

- [ ] ZZ Top - eliminator. Straight up blues Texas rock.

- [ ] U2: War - full on rock n roll masterpiece with guitar driven politically charged songs.

- [ ] U2: Under the Bloody Red Sky- introduced Red Rocks to the world outside of CO. A truly majestic place that hosted the greatest over the decades. More on red rocks during 2013 year in review

- [ ] Genesis - genesis. Departing the DnD world of prog rock I believe made them better artists. Def richer ($$$) ones. Mama, illegal alien, That’s All…HITS!

- [ ] The Police: Synchronicity (A&M). Don’t know if ever listened to it cover to cover . The 4 hits off the record are all back to back midway through the record. Murder By Numbers a great last song.

Revisits and new finds

- [ ] ESG- come away with ESG. Damn! This sounds like a 2024 Z-ster release that would get a 8.5+ on pitchfork. 80s club music (find of the year)

- [ ] Cure - Japanese Whispers. An early-ish release w a couple solid goth/synth tracks

- [ ] Liquid liquid - tremendous! Funk, punk, hip hop. Contains the “Cavern” the original white lines

- [ ] Replacements -hootennanny. Lots of noise between a few good tracks. Sounds like they just recorded everything they did and put it out in this record

- [ ] Keith Jarrett - standards Vol 1. Trio s dejenette and Peacok. Got bias here. I’m a big Keith Jarrett fan & this is one have the best trios of all time and jazz, in my opinion.

- [ ] Def leopard - pyromaniac ..gotta give it props for 3 solid rocking songs (foolin, Rock of Ages, Photograph

- [ ] Lionel Richie- can’t deny the power of his pop R&B. 5/8 songs were top 10 hits

Random and Wierd shit!!!

- [ ] Lou reed. Finding out he just explains his daily life in NYC ..in song fashion. He’s got 30+ records over 30ish years. High Quantity will even lead to a low to moderate sum of quality.

- [ ] Daniel Johnston - hi how are you. Like WTF?!?!

- [ ] Rolling Stones - undercover. One of the stones worst albums. Though I’m not a stones fan. Title track only one worth a dime

- [ ] Billy Joel- innocent man. Pop stuff is good, doo wap 50s stuff is 💩 doo doo

Didn’t get to:

- [ ] X: More Fun in the New World (Elektra)

- [ ] Richard Thompson: Hand of Kindness (Hannibal)

- [ ] Eurythmics

- [ ] Billy idol- renal yell

- [ ] Yazoo- you me

- [ ] Bad brains - rock for light

- [ ] Quiet riot - mental health

- [ ] Tears for fears

- [ ] The fall-

- [ ] Omd

- [ ] Earth wind fire -electric universe

[setsumushou]

TW: Deconstruction of dark-ish topics, but ultimately to say that it's all okay

I used to make a big deal about the underage stuff, so I may as well talk about it. But the reality is that I used to have this same averse overreaction to everything from Jason to Andrew Neiman. Andrew Neiman looks perfectly like a guy in his 20s, and I was still cowering from him, so my fear of certain content was definitely me making things up in my own head and seeing things that weren't there (like I've said - actual mental illness). I'm glad that I did this, but I think one of my only interactions with Lake last year was me apologizing for making a big deal out of something that she had participated in (I think likely Stacee/Andrew? That pairing actually makes thematic sense, and it was utterly insane that I was crying about it). So I have managed to still become friends with people, who, honestly - I would have never considered being friends with last year.

I've talked about it, but oddly enough, when it comes to the 10-year old Bradley stuff, I don't have any reaction to it because I can't even imagine it. There is definitely some uncanny valley going on with Miles Teller in his 20s to me (he doesn't become attractive to me until Vinny Pazienza), and I have come to the conclusion that...he looks like one of my cousins, and it still kind of puts me off.

HE HAS A VERY ASIAN-LOOKING FACE. His face is mostly flat, he has a broad prominent nose, he doesn't have the depth between his eyebrows and eyes that Caucasian faces normally do, and his mouth is very small (I think that part always did me in - the facial hair saves him because it re-proportions his face in a way which satisfies me).

(L: Jackie Chan; R: Miles Teller)

And the thing is that young Miles isn't ugly. I actually have to defend him on this because I think it is often emphasized in fic that Bradley was a very ugly child/teen, and little!Bradley....you were fine. I think Jason from Rabbit Hole would have been the second-best looking kid from Stranger Things (but I was also never in the Stranger Things fandom). Miles actually kind of looked like a lipless Elvis Presley in his 20s, and Elvis was obviously considered attractive. I think canon-era!Rooster just sets an impossible physical standard for himself (perfect...I think canon-era!Bradley is perfect).

Also, I said some very unnecessary personal information, which scared the people I told it to - I don't like to bring it up because it's something that I can't believe I would tell people who were just in a fandom to have fun in it. But to assuage anyone from any possible guilt for enjoying fictional content, I think I would have had the same reaction to a lot of Harry Potter or Naruto pairings at the time, but I didn't complain about those, so I should have never had any problem with it in Roosmav - and I don't. I am currently writing a fic which involves choking in a sexual situation (with thematic purpose and not super graphic, because I don't enjoy hurting characters who I like). But if someone had told me that they disliked that I was writing my fic because they had experienced and found pain in something like that, I would be empathetic to their feelings, but, like...it's fiction...and it's not that serious.

So I really, really want to make that clear. It was something I had made an alarming deal out of last year, and it's something that I retain zero residual feelings about. Certain delusional connections between reality and fiction I had made were definitely the result of a lot of external stress + exacerbated mental illness, and not the fault of people for creating/enjoying a fictional thing.

Like damn. If only I had a working brain at the time...but I didn't, so I'm stuck where I'm at. But I'm so grateful and fortunate that I have managed to make a few friends in this, so...one day, I hope I can be in a fandom easier with them. I'm sorry I couldn't make it happen in this one.

[littleharpethcrossfit]

Sunday, 29 October, 2023.

Classes at 0730 and 1 PM.

There is a 30-40% chance of rain. Rain won't stop us. Will rain stop you ?

The rain went to Kentucky, and we were sunny and bright here.

Warren G and lovely daughter Faith led the mobility warmup.

Warmup

100 Partner Med-Ball Sit-Ups.

Somebody please tell Sarah Catherine.

Strength

Deadlifts: 70 To 80% of Your 1 Rep Max.

5 Reps Every 2 Minutes For 5 Sets.

Bernie/Mitch=335 WG=275 Smoothie=245 Zac/Scott/Herb=215 Coach/Dana=195 Cherrita=145 Linda/Sue/Kayla/Cheri=125 Jackie=105 GiGi (Gail)=35 Faith (The Kid)=42 Elisa/Alicia=shy posters Rodney=mono structural activities

WOD

Run 400 / Row-Ski 500 / Bike 1000m

Then 2 Rounds

15 Deadlifts (225/145/85)

20 Wall Balls (20/14)

25 KettleBell Swings (53/35)

And Finally

Run 400 / Row-Ski 500 / Bike 1000m

Sue=10:18 Faith (The Kid)=10:24 Gail(GiGi)=10:31 Linda=10:39 Dana=10:45** WG=10:58* Cherrita=11:10 Jackie=11:22 Kayla/Bernie=11:45** Scott=11:45 Smoothie=11:51* Cheri=13:01 Zac=13:57 Coach=14:00 Herb=14:50 Rodney=16:40 Mitch=18:10** Elisa/Alicia=did it

Notes:

For some Elites this WOD was a 10 minute sprint.

Faith's Grandmother Gail (GiGi) was here today. It was entertaining watching Faith coach GiGi.

Instagram Kayla finds the most unique excuses to leave early and get home to her latest OK-CUPID on-line forever one and only in-house dependent. If she leaves him un-attended for more than 45 minutes he apparently gets on his home-base dating site, so she has to make up excuses like "all my smoke alarms have simultaneously developed low battery alarms, so I have to get home to change the batteries". It's so sad. She is so very desirable and has a good job, too.

Yesterday, there was a mild Bru-ha-ha about a male visitor refusing the gift of a pink-ish-lavender-blue LHCF T-Shirt. Apparently the gifted color did not correspond with the recipients opinion of his favored gender-color. A female relative fetched him a replacement. No harm. I didn't think many people noticed the quiet interaction, but this morning a couple of people wondered why I did not mention the affair in the LHCF blog. This blog is meant to entertain, and I didn't see anything entertaining enough to make my usual sarcastic remarks memorable. It was ironic that one of this mornings' questioners was a manly-man-bruiser who has proudly worn his recently gifted pinkish-lavender-blue LHCF T-shirt to the Barn.

The Schwartz family had 4 members here today as Scott was visiting from L.A., and the Goodrich's likewise had 4 members as Gigi was here from Houston. It was a family day.

Winter is coming. Get tough.

Tuesday at 4 PM.

[jordoalejandro]

The Twelfth Annual List of Movies I Saw the Past Year

After I watch movies that qualify for these Movies I Saw lists, I like to jot down some notes and give each of them a letter grade. I find that system more natural than stars. It’s hard to tell the difference between a 7 out of 10, a 7.5 out of 10, and an 8 out of 10. But the difference between a B+ and B- movie? That makes sense to me.

Anyway, I was looking back at my notes for the last few lists and realized that, this year included, I’ve only given one movie an A (I don’t bother with an A+. An A is an A.) in the last three years: Spiderman: No Way Home. And, if I’m being honest, there are things in that film I definitely could’ve dinged it down to an A- for. I just had such a good time and appreciated it so much that I chose to ignore those issues. That doesn’t seem like a sound grading system but it’s really more of an art than a science.

This whole lead in is just to say: that’s weird, right? That’s like a total of 180 movies and only one got an A? (And maybe it shouldn’t have.) So is it the movies? Is it me? It’s not that I didn’t like a lot of these movies. I even liked some of them quite a bit. Maybe I’m just getting finicky in my old age. Or maybe the darkness in my soul is growing, taking over, killing off whatever remained of joy in my heart.

Or maybe it’s the movies. Yeah. It’s probably the movies.

Speaking of, here’s the list of movies I’ve seen that have come out since-ish the last Oscars (3/27/22).

61. Blonde - It's occasionally visually cool, at least. There are some neat looking shots every now and then. Other than that? This film joins Jackie and Spencer in the “various scenes from a sad famous woman’s life” genre except this one is taking it to the nth degree. It ratchets the sadness and brutality up to 11 to really drive home how terrible Marilyn Monroe’s life was, even inventing huge chunks of the story so that things can be extra sad and terrible. If, for some reason, you have interest in watching Marilyn Monroe floating through various dream states and getting tortured for almost three hours, this is your film. I don't.

60. Morbius - These Sony Spiderman villain films all have a similar issue: they can’t justify their existence. They are the remora fish to the MCU’s shark. They feel as much like a quick cash grab while you're watching them as they appear to be from the outside. Their attempts to form a connective tissue back to the MCU come across as desperate and off-putting (including and especially stuff like the mid-credit scenes in this film which are some of the most incoherent ones I’ve yet seen). The plots of the films themselves feel barely thought out. They go through the motions and then they end. There’s a lot of CGI and bad dialogue and forgettable side characters and villains along the way. At least the Venom films have Tom Hardy, whose chemistry with himself is so good you can at least enjoy that while the paper thin plot rides out the screen time. Morbius doesn’t have that. Matt Smith is having some fun but it’s not even close enough to make this something worth watching. The whole enterprise just isn’t exciting or thrilling or really any fun. It’s dull. And that’s just about the worst thing you can be as a superhero movie.

59. Bardo: False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths - There’s at least some interesting visual stuff and music going on but this is one of those movies I have a really tough time appreciating. A lot of unconnected scenes and obscured dialogue and it all means something to the filmmaker: life, death, success, art, take your pick. It’s very hard to connect to and care about. I feel like I got maybe half of it, but I won’t really understand the film until I know much more about Alejandro Iñárritu’s biography and the history of Mexico and there’s just no way in hell I’m doing homework for this. I already gave it two and a half hours of my life. That’s enough.

58. Pinocchio - I don’t have any real love for the original cartoon anyway so it’s not like this – a remake made with CGI and a handful of live action people instead of animation – didn’t already have an uphill battle with me. Even still, I went in with an open heart, allowing it to try and win me over, and I came away feeling that the whole thing seems pretty pointless. They’ve made some modern tweaks that don’t really add much. The humor is geared toward children but it’s big and broad in the way that talks down to them, like an old person trying to connect to the youth. Other than that, it seems to stick pretty close to the original cartoon's story (at least, as much as I remember the original Disney Pinocchio cartoon. It’s been a while.) The problem is, the original was made before we figured out how to write satisfying screenplays and so this remake ends up falling into the same unsatisfying plot issues. Characters pop in and out, never to be seen again. Storylines don't get wrapped up. Stuff happens to the character for a while and then it ends. People used to not care about those kinds of things because it was magical just seeing pictures that moved. These days there are a lot more options in moving pictures. Look, it might be sacrilege to say this, but you could probably show your kids this Pinocchio instead of the old one if you had to show them a Pinocchio. I’d argue there’s not a big difference because I don’t care for either. Another thing you could do, though, instead of watching a Pinocchio, is maybe just watch something better.

57. Empire of Light - The score is nice. It’s a gorgeous looking film. Roger Deakins filming lots of scenes in a grand old movie theater situated in a seaside English town? I mean, what a recipe for visual success. Unfortunately the actual plot of the film is much less interesting than its setting. It’s a fairly dull drama that doesn’t ever really feel like it gets going. Some decent acting here and there but generally pretty flat.

56. Triangle of Sadness - A black comedy satire devoid of any real humor. The jokes are all very European. Like, they’re either “this is an astute observation about the perversity of life, no?” or they’re people falling down stairs while pooping themselves (this is a mostly literal description of a huge chunk of act two). That’s basically the level of satire we’re dealing with here. It barely breaks the surface level. The whole movie is long, too. Two and a half hours, broken into three parts, the first of which (~30 minutes) seems cuttable entirely except that you need three parts to make the titular triangle. The other two segments are clanky. They never really feel like they are fully clicking. They have their moments but far from enough to cover the runtime.

55. Don’t Worry Darling - Nice music and visuals. Florence Pugh is good as she’s been in everything I’ve ever seen her in. The movie’s plot is the big problem. It spends the first 90 minutes doing quasi-interesting creepy and mysterious stuff and setting the mood and not much else, which is something you can get away with if you pay it all off with a strong finish and this film's finish is supremely weak. The twist isn’t interesting, the pacing is hurried, and the ending is abrupt. It’s extremely unsatisfying. Endings are so important in films and can make or break them and this one absolutely breaks it, making you feel like everything you watched before was just about a waste of time.

54. The Good Nurse - This is a film that feels like it worked backwards from the true story ending and didn’t have enough plot there for the first hour or so. A lot of scenes of nursing and family life. It’s pretty dull for a long while until it gets near the end, when it feels like things should finally explode with tension, and it sort of peters out. A couple of good scenes but nothing that really pops. Jessica Chastain and Eddie Redmayne are doing nice work but don’t get anything truly meaty from the script to give them that wow moment.

53. You People - It’s weirdly shot and edited like a TV show, and quality wise, that’s kind of what it feels like. Really broad characters, over-the-top situations, and dialogue that lacks all subtlety. It finds a few humorous moments but mostly it feels like watching an expensive pilot for a show that didn’t go.

52. Black Adam - It’s interesting to look at and it has a decent score. Other than that, it comes off generic and uninspired. The plot is mostly finding reasons for The Rock to smash enemies in one set piece then another. The characters are watered down versions of characters from other films and so is much of the dialogue. Nothing you’ve not seen before. Pierce Brosnan has most of the interesting character and dialogue moments in his side role. The whole thing, though better overall than Morbius, suffers from a similar problem of not really justifying its existence. It feels like it was forced into creation because The Rock wanted to be a superhero and DC figured they could sell some lunchboxes with it.

51. A Christmas Story Christmas - It certainly feels spiritually in line with the first film and if you liked the first one, I could see you getting a similar level of enjoyment out of this one. There’s at least some skill involved in not making this feel like a cheap cash grab (like I imagine A Christmas Story 2 – a direct-to-DVD sequel that came out in 2012 that I just learned of while researching this – feels like). My main problem here is that I’ve just never enjoyed the first one. I don’t have a nostalgia for that time and in fact, for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, I find it somewhat repelling. I never found the jokes in the first one funny either, even as a kid. It always struck me as like, Dennis the Menace old comic strip type jokes that are supposed to make you scoff then shake your head while mildly chuckling. This sequel is very similar, in humor and tone. Some might like it. I don’t.

50. Amsterdam - This has all the pieces to be a fun story: interesting characters, intriguing plot idea, a great looking setting, but the movie feels wandering. Every time there’s a moment that works in comedy or plot it loses momentum almost immediately. The editing is off. Scenes linger, have very little rhythm, and create a sense of awkwardness. It feels like the material needed someone outside to take a pass at it. A rewrite by a new writer or a director with a different vision to clean things up.

49. The Bubble - Some legitimately funny bits and characters but too long and with too many stretches lacking strong laughs. Not much in terms of plot, the film is really only there to get those laughs, so it needs to bring it in the comedy sense and it doesn’t do it frequently enough.

48. RRR - I wrote my review of The Woman King (coming up shortly – that’s what they call a tease in the business) way before I watched this and inadvertently described this film in it, so let me just quickly recap (precap?) the notes from that: this is one of those foreign produced, out of control action films that clearly has some money behind it but which proves again that no matter how much money you spend, you can't buy actual quality. Big fake sets and tons of extras, extremely one-note villains, bad writing. This film is like 45 minutes of fun, inventive, supremely over the top action scenes and two hours and fifteen minutes of bad acting, clunky drama, singing, slow motion shots, piggyback rides, and friendship montages. Given what I'd heard coming in, I had hoped this was going to be an actual high quality film but if you want to get enjoyment out of it, you kind of have to watch it more like The Room (not that it’s anywhere close to that bad, but more in the sense that you have to laugh at the absurd stuff that is constantly happening). It’s kind of worth it to watch it once for the whole experience but if you can just find a Youtube compilation of highlights from the action scenes, you’ll probably have gotten enough of it.

47. Avatar: The Way of Water - Overly lonnnnnnnng. There’s maybe an hour of interesting stuff in here and two hours of James Cameron impressing himself with his world building and technology. The story is basic, the dialogue is forgettable. Filled with characters it’s hard to care about, in part because it’s hard to keep track of them – they all look the same and their accents are constantly changing – but mostly because they’re simply uninteresting. Lots of your old favorites (as much, I suppose, as characters whose names you can’t remember could be considered favorites) are back from the first film and don’t really do anything but hang out in the background while Jake’s kids take center stage and spend most of the middle of the movie doing an alien version of the film where a family moves to a new town and tries to adjust while the townies are mean to them. Then an hour and a half in, the film becomes alien Free Willy for a while, and then we get the hour long third act which is basically a repeat of the third act of the first movie but set on water. I actually hadn’t watched the first one until this year, in preparation for this sequel, and I found myself equally unimpressed by it. It's better but not particularly good. I can’t understand how three of Cameron’s most average works have taken over the highest grossing films of all time list. It’s like some kind of spell he’s placed on the world.

46. Emily the Criminal - A passable little crime… thriller? It’s not too thrilling. A crime drama mostly. There’s nothing really surprising or wholly original but it works well enough, it moves well, and then it gets out. It’s fine. Aubrey Plaza is good in it but "It's fine" is pretty much all I can muster up about this film and so that's why it's here on the list.

45. Women Talking - Women be talkin’! Miriam Toews, who wrote the novel this is based on, must have called it Women Talking in part to entrap dumb guys into making jokes, right? Pssh, if I wanted to hear women talking, I’d still be with my ex-wife! And now I got to make those jokes, but I acknowledged ahead of time they’re dumb guy jokes, so it’s fine. All of this is a great lead in for me to note that I actually didn’t care for this film. It’s more watchable than you’d expect but, ultimately, it really is just women talking. It’s not based on a play but could be converted into one with almost no changes in the script. Some pockets of good writing and acting but nothing that really elevates it beyond what its title promises and when you’re promised a film that’s only people talking, that script needs to be sharp enough to carry the entire film. It isn’t here.

44. All Quiet on the Western Front - It is what it is. It’s an objectively well-made film. Shot well, scored well, acted well. It’s just that it’s a straightforward war (or, rather, anti-war) film and… I guess I just don’t care? It doesn’t interest me to watch a two and a half hour film adaptation of an old book told without surprise or novelty. Things play out exactly as you suspect they will play out and in the end, we learn that war is bad for the people involved. Got it. Thank you. If that’s something that interests you, more power to you. It’s not something that interests me or moves me and not something I’d ever feel the need to revisit. It’s a film that will garner award talk now and then be played by substitute teachers for the next 30 years until someone remakes it again.

43. Till - Another film that’s a pretty standard fare historical drama. The story here unfolds as you’d expect, too. I will say, in fairness, with this story, it’s a little easier to forgive not experimenting with the form (versus with a hundred year old novel that’s already been adapted multiple times). If you try to get too fancy and tell these kinds of stories with a ton of flair, you risk being insensitive to the material and thus, the safest thing is to just go A>B>C. It’s fine – it tells the story cleanly and gets the point across – but it makes it into just another history class film. Danielle Deadwyler gives a good performance, asked to be either otherworldly strong or hysterically, emotionally destroyed in basically every scene in the film and she handles it well. In a way, though, it almost dehumanizes the character. Outside of a few brief moments early in the film, she gets almost no time to be anything other than a grieving mother. She comes off more as a machine built to endure rather than a person. A fault in the writing.

42. After Yang - This just feels like an A24 film. It’s almost a genre unto itself. Very artsy and contemplative and hip and indie. There's some interesting stuff here about technology and family and oh, what it means to be human! The eternal question! A beautiful score as well, which helps because with this movie, you have to enjoy the vibe more than expect, you know, actual things to happen.

41. Strange World - An inventive, interesting looking film, but a script that’s not particularly unique and not very strong in plot, dialogue, or humor. Not bad, exactly, but not good enough to really recommend.

40. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio - It looks excellent and, like with all stop motion animation, you certainly find yourself impressed by the effort required to create these shots. Unfortunately it’s hard to get yourself up for another Pinocchio film. At the very least, it’s not a straightforward take on old material. They moved the story to Fascist Italy and gave the plot some sharpening. All appreciated, given what I’ve already complained about on this list with other films (other Pinocchio films, no less). Still, at the end of the day, this is a film about a wooden puppet boy who gets into misadventures and it just doesn’t speak to me.

39. Jerry and Marge Go Large - A sweet movie that falls apart about halfway through at the introduction of a super forced villain. You can almost feel the writer panicking about needing to add drama to keep the story moving. It’s kind of a shame because the movie isn’t exactly buzzing before that point – its jokes mostly fall flat – but it’s quaint enough to enjoy. Then it tries too hard and you start rolling your eyes. Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening have nice chemistry, though.

38. Rosaline - It’s cute and clever with the way it plays with the source text of Romeo and Juliet. These are the best parts of the film by far. The rest is sort of your standard romcom fare, which is just okay.

37. Fire Island - There are just too many stretches in the film without something strong in drama or comedy happening for me to really like it, but it isn’t bad. It’s a clever adaptation, with some good character beats and some funny bits.

36. The Whale - Undeniably strong performance from Brendan Fraser, full of vulnerability and heartbreak. Hong Chau is excellent as well in a supporting role. The movie itself is too play-like: full of melodrama and essentially a series of dialogues in a limited setting (this is, I believe, in part because it’s based on a play and in part because we’re meant to feel as trapped in the apartment as Fraser’s Charlie is, which is interesting in a psychological way but certainly not in a visual one). The film has a few excellent moments but otherwise, it has just two gears: mean or sad. It’s essentially 90 minutes of people having over-dramatic dialogues that end in either screaming or crying or both.

35. Lightyear - There’s a cool sci-fi/philosophical sequence that happens early in the film and which is revisited later that’s the high point for me. The rest of the film is a little paint-by-numbers sci-fi cartoon adventure which isn’t bad but also isn’t very inspired. It’s functional but doesn’t feel like Pixar’s best, given we’ve seen what they can do.

34. See How They Run - A fun little whodunit with a few genuine laughs. Saoirse Ronan is a highlight. It’s not as funny or sharp as Glass Onion (if we’re comparing comedic ensemble murder mysteries released this year) but it works and it’s enjoyable enough.

33. Confess, Fletch - A decent enough mystery and a decent enough comedy with some fun characters. Like a lot of films in this area of the list, it had room to be better in all areas but, well, it’s decent enough.

32. The Woman King - Okay, stick with me here because this is a weird comparison but this film feels like a better version of those wild straight-to-streaming action films (like RRR – that’s a callback!) with Steven Seagal or other similar washed up stars that are produced by, like, the Chinese government or a country with a lot of oil money or something. You get the big expensive looking sets and tons of extras in costumes but they still look really fake. Villains that are extremely one-note. Epic feeling stories that are generic at their core and aren’t written very well. But I say again, this film is like a better version of those types of films. The acting is decent. The action scenes are done well. But the whole thing still just feels… artificial? Like the sets and the costumes don’t feel lived-in. The villains are there to be evil and be defeated. The script feels like it’s going through the motions. This all sounds too negative. This film has some good stuff. It’s just in this uncanny valley between those awful Seagal films and better films that feel more authentic.

31. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness - Some fun imaginative beats, some interesting visual bits, a good score, and decent action scenes, but a plot that doesn’t quite get there. It feels a little loose. Set ups to get from point A to B to C aren’t strong enough and it makes things feel like they’re happening just because they’re cool to see or because they need to happen to continue moving the plot along. It weakens any emotional payoffs.

30. Lou - A solid action thriller. Serviceable in the way a lot of Liam Neeson action thrillers are: not really anything special or wholly unique but it just works. You can watch it and get what you need out of it. Allison Janney makes a surprisingly decent action star.

29. The Bob’s Burgers Movie - This film deals with the same issue The Simpsons Movie did: how do you make this feel like not just a really long episode with better animation and shading? The Simpsons Movie was able to find a way to tell a story that felt sufficiently epic, while dabbling with a bit edgier humor than the show allows. The Bob’s Burgers Movie attempted both of those things but didn’t quite get there in either sense. For fans of the show, it’s enjoyable enough, with some laughs and fun musical numbers, but it felt closer to a decent long episode than a movie experience.

28. The Menu - Well scored. A good looking film. But, as always with a black comedy, I must turn to my black comedy judgment system, which breaks down the movie into two categories. Is it black? The Menu certainly is. Is it comedy? Eh… The comedy is there, at least a little bit. A few real laughs for sure, but the whole thing is more clever than actually funny. The story mostly works though the character motivations (or lack thereof) by the third act strain belief. You sort of have to chalk it up to “well, it’s a satire so of course it’s hyper-elevated.” In that sense, it’s acceptable if not particularly satisfying.

27. Senior Year - It’s an interesting premise that doesn’t quite deliver on its promise. It struggles a bit with consistency, in tone and quality of humor. But it's not bad overall. It occasionally hits in comedy and even lands the emotional bits. It could do both better but it never goes too long without something positive. It’s not something you’d say you should go out of your way for but it’s a light, enjoyable watch.

26. The Bad Guys - Well directed. A cool animation style. The story is cute, though a little reminiscent of Zootopia (I know, I know, this film is based on a series of books, the first of which came out a year before Zootopia did. Even still.) It is very much a kid’s movie, but a well made kid’s movie nonetheless.

25. The Gray Man - It’s fun, which is kind of the main thing it needs to be. The action is particularly well done and Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans are playing their roles pitch-perfect. The dialogue, plot, music, and supporting characters, while not bad, are just too generic to really make this movie rise above the crowd. All the spies do the spy talk from every spy movie ever. The plot is a double dose of two overused secret agent movie plots: a computer drive as McGuffin and the adopted daughter that must be protected. (By the way, I had the thought: I wonder if the rise in plots where the hero must protect a child – usually a daughter/daughter figure – is because male heroes in action movies used to protect grown women but that often came across as infantilizing, so to sidestep that, producers have started going right to the source and having the heroes protect literal infants.) The series has potential though, with Gosling at its center. Its issues with genericness (? genericism? the state of being generic?) can be honed.

24. Bullet Train - Another fun action movie, in a much sillier and more comedic way. Brad Pitt is charismatic as always and a cast of good side characters – highlighted by Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry – round it out.

23. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - It works well enough for being such an outlandish pitch. There are a lot of ways this film could’ve gone wrong, but it’s a clever, likable, and decently funny movie. It’s just not quite funny enough to be truly great.

22. I Love My Dad - The plot of this film is about a father who catfishes his son in an effort to get closer to him and ends up becoming his internet girlfriend and then things proceed from there. The movie is as uncomfortable as you might imagine from the pitch. If you can get past that, though, it’s actually quite a nice little film, with some laughs, good emotional notes, and solid acting performances. The biggest knock against the film is that the story does feel a little contrived at times. It’s based on a real story so I don’t know how much of the film’s beats actually occurred but there are parts where you feel like, okay, this is happening because this is a movie and things need to happen to move the plot along. It’s still pretty good, even with the parts that feel moviefied.

21. White Noise - The film has a deliberately strange rhythm and sense of weirdness to it that I can see turning people off but I actually found myself really enjoying it. It’s an often funny and insightful film about fear and mortality and loss of control. It’s better in the first half and loses a little steam in the second but overall I found it quite intriguing. Really good acting from Adam Driver in the lead role.

20. Uncharted - Tom Holland is very charming and he and Mark Wahlberg have an easy chemistry. The action scenes have the right energy to them and the treasure hunting, mystery solving stuff works well, too. There are good bits of humor and fun locales. It doesn’t quite capture the magic of the games and certainly has its clichés, but the film generally does most things well, moves swiftly, and is out in under two hours. That’s a well executed film in my eyes.

19. The Sea Beast - A great looking animated film. Well directed, solid action scenes, creative world design, and it tells a nice story. Nothing for me that makes it really transcend being a very good kid's movie, but no shame in being just that.

18. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers - Very clever, very meta with some solid laughs. There are obvious comparisons here to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It’s been a while since I’ve seen that film but I recall it leaning more into the noir and mystery aspects while this movie is really more about the jokes and references. While it can be almost too meta at times, most of those references do work and make it a fun watch full of Easter eggs.

17. Weird: The Al Yankovic Story - Relentlessly silly. A very funny parody with solid jokes, a good flow, and some really fun cameos.

16. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - It’s sort of wild (or perhaps not really, given it’s the same creative team) but comparing my review for the first Black Panther film with my notes for this one, I'm seeing myself hitting many of the same beats. Issues: the action scenes aren’t great – often too hard to follow and overly CGI’d. Also, a lot of the scenes are really dark, with the night scenes and underwater scenes being especially hard to see. (It’s particularly disappointing in the underwater scenes because I’d like to have had a better picture of Namor’s kingdom.) Similar pluses though, too: set design, costumes, music are all excellent. The acting is strong (Angela Bassett is getting all the raves, and she’s good, especially in her big monologue scene where she really gets to lay it all out there, but I actually think Danai Gurira delivers the best performance as the wounded general Okoye). The film is overstuffed though, which is a problem the first one didn’t have. It’s a good entry to the MCU but slightly below its predecessor.

15. Tár - Well directed, excellently written. The detail in the dialogue is so strong and the script doesn’t really bother to help you out. These characters are people at the top of their game and speak like that. It’s laudable even if it creates separation from the material. Cate Blanchett is incredible here. She fully embodies this complex genius and makes it seem effortless. The way she speaks and moves is so natural you wouldn’t question if Lydia Tár was a real person. There’s a lot going on in the film itself. Interesting topics broached. Somewhat deliberately paced for the first two acts and then kicks into another gear as everything comes towards the conclusion. It’s somewhat difficult to fully parse it. Maybe it’s just a little rushed, maybe it’s an unreliable narrator thing. I’m not sure how many concrete answers are in the film itself. I think I appreciated the first two acts much more but the whole film is a well done character piece.

14. Dinner in America - Sort of a punk rock Napoleon Dynamite. Less weird, a little more edgy, but similar small town weirdos vibes. Moves well, has some laughs, and features a couple of great performances from the two leads: Kyle Gallner and Emily Skeggs.

13. Elvis - It’s pretty good for a music biopic. The first half is edited like a montage, which I surprisingly liked. It just doesn’t stop moving, but it actually kind of works for the carnival ride vision of Elvis’ life that Baz Luhrmann is presenting. I enjoyed it better than the second half which slows down considerably. It’s too long overall but there is a lot of good stuff in it: acting, singing, music, visual style. Austin Butler is very good.

12. The Batman - Visually impressive, decently plotted though it does have some wonkiness. It is far too long, though. Part of this is that some scenes, which are mostly expository, just drag and could be edited down. Part of it is, in seeking to create a vibe, the film lingers. Lots of pieces that breathe and breathe and breathe, that don’t really advance the plot but are just to create mood. It’s successful, at least, in creating that mood: sufficiently creepy and unsettling at times, brooding and mysterious. But you still don’t ever want to be watching a superhero movie and wondering how much longer. You could cut maybe an hour from the film and you’d lose some of that but probably have a better overall product.

11. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande - A charming film. It’s almost entirely a series of dialogues in a hotel room and, despite that, it works. It’s not exactly visually interesting but it doesn’t lull because of a really strong script, which is what you need if you’re going to make a movie that’s basically set in a box. It also helps when the acting is great and the two leads here are great. Emma Thompson is fantastic and Daryl McCormack holds his own with a screen legend.

10. Hustle - Light, funny, endearing. It’s a little simplistic and paint-by-numbers-y, but it moves well and hits all the right notes along the way. It has authenticity, which is rare in a sports movie, and you can feel it and it makes it work better. Decent enough acting and writing. A good watch.

9. Bros - A really sharply written, well done romcom. It does a good job of toeing the line between acknowledging that what it’s doing is different while still being generally a fairly conventional romcom and hitting all those right genre notes.

8. Top Gun: Maverick - It probably got caught up in too much hype but it is a really well executed summer blockbuster. It knows what it is and it just nails it. Fantastic action scenes and just enough quality in character and dialogue to make it a thrilling and fun film that never drags.

7. Living - Looks great, sounds good. This is one of those films that just surprises you. It seems a little dull from the outside (and it’s certainly no Top Gun inside) but it really is a beautiful, delightful film. Very understated. A simple story told well. Some tremendous acting from Bill Nighy but the whole cast does a good job and several people have standout moments.

6. Thor: Love and Thunder - It’s not quite up to the level of Ragnarok (it’s missing a certain epicness that makes it feel truly impactful like that film was) but it’s very funny and surprisingly emotional. Great action and music, often perfectly intertwined. Christian Bale does an excellent job with the villain role: terrifying and tragic (but maybe too good a job – you almost want to tell him to chill and have some more fun). I love that Taika Waititi has carved out his own little unique and weird corner of the MCU.

5. Glass Onion - It does some things better than the first. The characters are amped up, for one, which I think works better for what the series is. Plus, it’s funnier. I did feel like the central mystery was worse, though. It’s intriguing as you watch it but when all is said and done, not as satisfying a conclusion. Overall, though, really well done. And, perhaps more importantly, it's just fun. It's fun to be in the middle of a mystery with all these actors playing big characters and the great score playing and the jokes flying. It's another good entry in what's shaping up to be a really enjoyable film series.

4. The Banshees of Inisherin - Wikipedia lists it as a “black tragicomedy” which is so specific and yet apt. Very funny at times. Very tragic at times. Strong writing, touching on subjects all the way from the difficulties of feeling trapped to the madness of civil war. Subtle and layered. Excellent acting all around, too. Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Barry Keoghan, and Kerry Condon are all doing plus work here.

3. Babylon - This film does a few things that generally rub me the wrong way with films. It’s long. It’s overindulgent. But you know what? I kind of loved it. Despite its three hour runtime, it doesn’t really drag until near the very end. It has a rhythm to it and a beat. It speeds up then slows down, speeds up, slows down, but it never really stops. It’s kind of exhausting and honestly impressive. Great visuals, great music. Excellent acting performances from Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Diego Calva, and Jean Smart. Poignant, funny, and really good at capturing chaos.

2. Everything Everywhere All at Once - I really wanted to love this one just a little more. To get it to that A grade. I’ve flipped it with the film that’s at number one on the list a few times but I’m settling with it here because I just… I wish someone could’ve talked the writer/director team, the Daniels, out of their basest instincts. This is a truly brilliant film about finding meaning in life versus giving into nihilism and it’s also about pee pee and poo poo. It’s an absolutely beautiful film about family, marriage, immigrants and also it’s about how butt plugs are funny! They go into the butt! That’s where the poo poo is! Look, I love stupid humor when it’s applied right, but so much of it here comes across as lol so random jokes. And it sucks because this film absolutely doesn’t need it. The film is already a dramedy. It already has some funny stuff in it. Enough funny stuff to count as a part-comedy, at least, and fulfill the comedy quotient of the dramedy equation. The juvenile stuff adds no real laughs to the film and pulls me right out of it. It adds a barrier to the emotional stakes because it raises my cynical walls. All of this is overly negative. 95% of the film really, really works. (I’m aware that a 95% is an A, not an A-. Art, not science.) The directing, editing, most of the writing. All great. Absolutely superb acting performances from Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, Ke Huy Quan, and Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s just that cringe-inducing last 5% of the film. I think if someone took a pass at the screenplay and removed all the bits that a 13 year old boy would’ve put in, this film would be an all-timer for me. As is, it’s one of my favorites of the year but that’s probably it.

1. The Fabelmans - Touching, sad, uplifting, and funny as well. The stuff about movies and art is really wonderful. If there’s any knock, it’s that the family stuff, while mostly well done, comes off a bit too melodramatic or cheesy at times. (This is the 5% of the film that doesn’t work for me here, but it’s something I’m more neutral about versus something that’s actively repelling me.) Altogether a great film, though. Visually, musically. Excellent acting performances from Michelle Williams, Paul Dano, Gabriel LaBelle, and Judd Hirsch in a slightly larger than a cameo role. Plus, one of the best endings to a film this year. Without spoiling too much, there’s a great scene with another cameo right near the end that’s so good and which leads to a final shot that’s so simple but says so much. It’s the perfect bow on a terrific package.

Okay, time for some individual awards.

Best Actor

5. Austin Butler, Elvis 4. Adam Driver, White Noise 3. Brendan Fraser, The Whale 2. Bill Nighy, Living 1. Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin

Best Actress

5. Margot Robbie, Babylon 4. Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans 3. Emma Thompson, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande 2. Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at Once 1. Cate Blanchett, Tár

Best Supporting Actor

5. Brad Pitt, Babylon 4. Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin 3. Paul Dano, The Fabelmans 2. Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin 1. Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Best Supporting Actress

5. Jean Smart, Babylon 4. Hong Chau, The Whale 3. Jamie Lee Curtis, Everything Everywhere All at Once 2. Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin 1. Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Best Directing

5. Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick 4. Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin 3. Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans 2. Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once 1. Damien Chazelle, Babylon

Best Screenplay

5. Kazuo Ishiguro, Living 4. Damien Chazelle, Babylon 3. Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner, The Fabelmans 2. Todd Field, Tár 1. Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin

And now to look at this year’s version of this monstrosity a.k.a. the web of actors who I’ve seen in multiple projects this year:

I need to come up with new ways to say things are good. I try to write like I speak so then when I start describing stuff as superb and terrific because I get self-conscious about seeing “good” in review after review, I feel uncomfortable because I don’t use those words in real life. And then I open up the thesaurus and take a peek at alternatives and they are even worse. You’re not going to catch me describing something as “cracking”. No sir.

Might try working “fabulous” into my everyday vocabulary more so I feel more free to use it on next year’s list.

Anyway, enjoy the Oscars.

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Read More:

Annual Lists of Movies I Saw the Past Year

[sacramentonewsjournal]

Stassi Schroeder Twitchy After Quitting Xanax

Credit score: O’Connor/AFF-USA.com / MEGA Stassi Schroeder has relaunched her Straight Up With Stassi podcast. Following a two-year hiatus, the previous Vanderpump Guidelines solid member welcomed fellow podcast host Jackie Schimmel to her present, the place she apologized for the way she behaved the final time they spoke, in Might 2020, and insisted she’s “not the identical individual” she was earlier than a racism scandal led her to be “socially excommunicated.” “I’m simply, like, making an attempt to make up for the ultimate podcast episode that we did two and a half years [ago], proper earlier than June 2020,” she mentioned on a September 28 episode, by way of Us Weekly. “I used to be so horrible on the podcast as a result of I [had] simply discovered I used to be pregnant. And I used to be coming off of being like, ‘Okay, nicely now I’ve to … Like, I’m quitting Xanax, the Juul and alcohol and I’m a twitchy motherf-cker.” In response to Stassi, who welcomed daughter Hartford with husband Beau Clark in January 2021, she “couldn’t string phrases or ideas collectively” at the moment. However now, over two years after she was axed from Pump Guidelines and her podcast episodes had been faraway from all platform, she’s in a a lot totally different place. “I’m not the identical person who I used to be while you final heard from me,” she revealed, noting that which will “disappoint some folks.” “I nonetheless love to evaluate folks. Judging is enjoyable,” she continued. “If someone tells you that they don’t like judging, or they don’t decide, they’re mendacity. [It’s] precise human nature and a part of our DNA.” Whereas Straight Up With Stassi was faraway from all platforms in June 2020, after Bravo fired her for racist habits in the direction of former Black solid member Religion Stowers, who she tied to a criminal offense Religion didn’t commit at a time the place racial injustice was prevalent, Stassi by no means misplaced the rights to her content material. “The episodes had been by no means deleted; They had been simply hidden. And through that point, I had all the episodes transferred to me in order that I may resolve what I wished to do with them,” she defined. “I had a variety of pondering to do.” Wanting again, Stassi mentioned that after having a while to replicate, she determined her best choice was to take a step again from the highlight. “There’s a time and a spot the place folks ought to converse, and there’s a time and a spot the place folks ought to pay attention. And, again then, it actually was not my time to be talking,” she acknowledged. In response to a second report from Web page Six, Stassi additionally famous that she’s gotten a bit “soft-ish” and “grew up a bit of bit” within the years since her podcast, which she first launched in 2015, went off-air. “[My judging is] coming from a distinct perspective,” she defined. “I believe that there’s one thing to be mentioned for having thoughtfulness earlier than you converse. I type of assume we must always simply be a bit of extra considerate earlier than we put one thing on the market.” Vanderpump Guidelines season 10 is predicted to premiere on Bravo later this yr or early subsequent yr. Originally published at Sacramento News Journal