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shiftynightshade · 3 years ago

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waffle_overlord

[duke thomas everyone.]

The video was shot in a sun-filled room and Tim could be seen with his eyebrows crawling up his hairline. The camera moved to where Duke was stumbling into the room and peering around in confusion. Steph's voice came from behind the camera in a laugh. "Sunny are you good?"

Duke stumbled past the camera towards the largest pool of sunlight. "I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so I'm going for 12 more just in case." Tim laughed. "Duke, that's a coma." Duke snorted and curled up on a nest of blankets, and if you looked closely enough you could almost see him and previously invisible freckles glowing pure gold. "Sounds festive."

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Defenestration Expert @DukeThomas

Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

No I don't simp for a certain yellow Gotham Vigilante Kal @JackHyde

What did you do op?

Whoever Stole My Spleen, Your Moms A Hoe: @TimothyDrake

A MISTAKE

Red Hawk and SIgnal being a chaotic duo

Posted by: Batfam Archivist

An instrumental version of Cake By The Ocean began to play.

The video began from someone filming from their apartment window, vigilantes Signal and Red Hawk lounging on their fire escape. Signal grinned and crossed his legs, the familiar skyline of Gotham flashing behind him. "I learned some very valuable lessons from this." Red Hawk laughed and wiped away the blood from his split lip. "I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away." Signal nodded sagely. "Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God."

This time the clip came from Red Hood 's Snapchat story. Signal was in some kind of infirmary wrapping a bandage around his wrist. A crash echoed from off-camera and Robin could be heard screeching something incomprehensible, Red Hawk's laughter quickly following. Signal sighed and shook his head. "God, give me patience."

Red Hood snorted. "I think you mean 'give me strength'." He said from behind the camera. Signal turned and glared at the anti-hero. "If God gave me strength, you'd be dead. Again."

The clip was filmed by Red Hawk's mask, posted onto Twitter by one of the bats. Red Hawk whistled. "It’s dark in here." He stated blandly, almost expectantly. Signal laughed. "Don’t worry dude I got this." The sound of Signal presumably stomping his feet echoed in the loud chamber. For a moment nothing happened, then Signal's entire body began to glow, ironically, the bat symbol on his chest being the darkest part. He looked like a humanized bat signal. Red Hawk laughed. "Sick."

Spoiler's social media once again came in clutch with more footage of the bats in action, though this time it was the aftermath. A building still clearly on fire set the background with Red Hawk leaning against the brick of the building with Signal kneeling in front of him. They both were covered with ash and soot. Red Hawk gazed at Signal and offered a weak smile. "You saved me. I owe you my life." Signal snorted. "No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed."

Spoiler's cut of snort ended the clip.

Signal could be seen panting and bracing his hands on his knees. It seemed to be taken from one of the cameras in Riddler's hideout, and Signal had a scowl bared across his face. "What doesn't kill me should run," he hissed. "Because now, I'm fucking pissed."

Signal grinned and leaned against the wall. "Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve." Red Hawk rose an eyebrow. "I think you mean cards." Signal shook his head and pulled a set of knives out of his gauntlets Assassin's creed style. "No, I do not."

Red Hawk could be seen speaking into his gauntlet, a digitized screen showing Signal glaring at Red hawk. "Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor." "I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it."

Red Hawk was desperately pressing down on Signal's side, the filmer just off to the side. "WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?" Signal have a half-hearted shrug. "Anything, honestly, but nerds especially." Red Hawk, desperately, as Signal continued to bleed out. "YOUR BLOOD TYPE" Signal brightened. "Oh! B positive." "DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE!" Signal stared at him blankly.

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Tason_Jodd

[These hooligan's, I swear.]

Tim stood in front of a corkboard filled with newspaper clippings and red string. "So that’s my plan." Duke was sitting on top of a table with his legs crossed. " Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean." Tim nodded. "Nah, go ahead, I want to hear it." "It fucking sucks." Tim pressed a hand to his heart and whimpered out, "That’s not constructive criticism."

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Shiver_Timbers

[We're Halloween shopping :)]

Tim grinned at the camera, an abundance of plastic decorations littering the aisle. "Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!" Duke popped up behind him with a dazzling grin. "Yeah! Locally sourced, all-natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!"

A passerby glanced at them in concern, evidently a Metropolitan tourist.

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Immortal Glowstick:

I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

#if scarecrow decides to fear bomb gotham at 4 am again #i'm gonna go fucking batshit #yes that pun was intended

175k notes

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Tanya_Spears

[Get his ass Duke]

The video was filmed from the front camera, only showing Tanya's smirking face from beneath her chin. "What happened to you Tim?"

Tim's voice came from off camera. "I was arrested for being too cool." "The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence." Duke's comment was followed by Tim letting out an offended gasp.

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Glamrock Freddy My Beloved @Vanny Ryd

Shit I have overheard Duke Thomas and Tim Drake say at the skate park: a thread

Tim: Must be hard not being able to laugh Duke: I do have a sense of humor you know Tim: I’ve never heard you laugh before Duke: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Glamrock Freddy My Beloved @Vanny Ryd

Tim: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something. Duke: Tim, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

See More of This Thread

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Best of Duke Thomas and Tim Drake: Gotham Unsolved Funny Moments

Posted By: Fuck Metr*polis

Duke and Tim were both seated in a dimly lit room, a corkboard filled with red string and clippings of the Gotham Gazette pinned in place.

Duke was wearing a colourful beach shirt. "So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!"

Tim shook his head with a grin and pulled his laptop from offscreen. "I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar, Tim: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!" Duke laughed, his voice loud and filled with mirth. "I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS!" Tim cackled, leaning into Duke's personal space. "ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND!" Duke slumped over the table laughing while tears streamed down his face. "ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ!" He wheezed.

Tim reached into a dusty cabinet and pulled out a fancily made bottle. He turned it over in his hand, the camera angle switching from the filmers to Tim's smaller camera. "Is this whiskey or perfume?" Duke plucked the bottle from Dims' hand ripped the lid out with a satisfying pop and threw it back like a shot, chugging the mystery liquid in five gulps. Duke blinked and set the bottle down. "It’s perfume." He said matter-of-factly.

~ Tim wiggled his fingers at Duke. "I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them." Duke snorted and shook his head. "This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up."

Tim threw his hands up in the air, barely missing the large piece glaassc in the shattered window-frame behind him. "You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon." Duke, not looking up from the book in his hands. "Spear." Is all he said. Tim crossed his arms in front of his face. "BLOCKED!"

Instead of the usual setting, the video was filmed during a Gala, both of them hiding out by an empty table. Duke began to stride off into the crowd like a man on a mission. "If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back." Tim snorted. "Of course. I can't flip this table by myself."

Duke spun in a circle, his grin bright and easily visible through the night vision film of the camera. He got too close to the door and slammed his foot into a stone doorway. "FUCK!" The voice recorder in Tim's hand released a distorted language, startling them both. "Mind your language!" Duke spun and glared at a random corner, supposedly the most haunted part of the house. "What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???" Tim shook his head at the corner. "You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes." He said.

#batman #batfam #duke thomas #the signal #signal #batfamily #batfam social media #batfamily headcanons #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #stephanie brown #spoiler #tanya spears #power girl #jackson hyde #aqualad #gotham unsolved

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