#iwrotethewordsforyou

[dontknockjustenter]

It took me a long time to get over the feeling of being haunted.

[dontknockjustenter]

She drowns her coffee in cream. Emptying five sugar packets as she stirs. She prefers the sweet over the bitter, and I envy the way in which she looks for something outside of me to satisfy her palate. But I am not sweet, And I suppose it is wrong for me to get jealous for her finding ways to fill the holes I cannot. When she looks up from stirring her pale coffee, She will realize I have covered my entire body in Splenda As an offering. 'I am not the sugary sweet you want, and I being soft doesn’t come natural for me. I make no promises that I will not be completely terrible for you, but I will try my best to make your coffee a little less bitter if you let me.'

rmf

[dontknockjustenter]

They ask me why I sleep so much, but how do you explain that you see the whole world when your eyes are closed? When you wake up she is gone.

rmf

[dontknockjustenter]

She speaks in a language I do not know and syllables fall off her tongue like a graceful dive into the ocean of the calm ambience before us. And although I cannot figure out if her words are bitter or sweet I smile at the melody she forms, because the sound of her voice has always been a fucking symphony and I am in love with the tempo of her words, in time with the beating of her heart and the cascade of sentences follow the build of the crescendo until we are left in awe of all her beauty and all her sounds. And here in this place, understanding does not matter because beauty has always transcended meaning. That’s why we stand in museums of art no one can make sense of. And if my thoughts have any merit, she belongs alongside all the obscure masterpieces in this world.

rmf

[dontknockjustenter]

I started locking the door. And for some reason that is a big deal for me? You know, I wrote "don't knock, just enter" and I started locking the door. Maybe to signify my having moved on and the realization that I can't take you back. But every once in a while I hear what sounds like a knocking and this hopeful part of my brain goes to check the door. I know there is no way you are there, though. You are never there. You never will be there. But I still check. Just in case I'm missing something.

[dontknockjustenter]

Stop trying to invalidate my emotions. I am allowed to miss you. I am allowed to miss me too.

rmf

[dontknockjustenter]

So I published one of my poetry books that has been sitting on my computer for a year and a half now.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1980562970/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1521118996&sr=1-1&keywords=don%27t+knock+just+enter