#iwouldnever

[triggerjelly]

s2 act one is out and I still stand by this

I am ready to defend Caitlyn Kiramman with my whole ass and chest

that woman can set an orphanage on fire in s2 and I will stand by her side. I proudly support women’s rights and wrongs, and am indeed incredibly biased. (V)I can fix her trust me bro

[creepy-scrawl]

I don't want to offend anybody... But the only reason I'd b poly it would be monetary compensation, if you want me and my gf to hang out like that you gotta give me housing and food... and that would go like ... At your own risk bc I am a really bad gf... Like srsly

[beepsparks]

Adding on, Nate tries to come up with more reasons for why he would never cuddle with Guy...but Mr. Lie Detector catches on

Schmitty: Nate, yesterday afternoon, you were cuddling Guy, were you not?

Nate: NOIWASNT! IWOULDNEVER!

Schmitty: Mmm...beg to differ. Did it feel good?

Nate: It...it did feel like hugging a giant teddy bear

(cue Nate covering his mouth)

Guy: Awwwwww, Nate. You mean it

Nate: I didn't MEAN to cuddle you...I...I thought you were my pillow

Buzz: Whatever you say, Nate...

9:05 pm, 4/1/2024

VERDICT: GUY IS A SOMFT PILLOW 🫵 AND EVEN NATE AGREES DESPITE HE DOESNT WANT TO

(Also love how my Schmitty is real good at catching liars is acknowledged here hehe)

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

She said : Anon will you serve me lemonade?

I said : yes Whereanonymouslypostmyfics I will, it's the day of the parade and you look even more handsome than the day that I left you (iwouldnever)

-simp anon

You'll think I'm very uncool I'm sure, but I don't listen to the radio and did not know this song. 🫣

[yourlocalapolloson]

#iwouldnever #my books have to be spotless #never let it suffer #poorbook

What books have you done this to?

Instagram / Shop

[strongwithoutrealising]

Saying I would never do something is a pretty bold statement to make. Would you do it? #reflectionquestions #questionstoask #questionstoponder #qotd🌸 #iwouldnever https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc6T3ZJvlBI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ciarameghan]

She whooped my ass tho. #jkgrandma #youknowiloveyou #igetdisrespectful #iwouldnever #thatpatrontho 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CMi067PFZYj/?igshid=c93cna4rh0lh

[haikioo]

SIX YEARS WITHOUT HIM ??? OMG THATS TOO MUUUUUUUUCH #iwouldnever

i wanted to write something nasty but it ended up being quite sweet, don't blame me i just need love

⠀ૈ☆ ex-husband nanami x fem!reader

𓏲 ࣪₊♡ tw: [n]sfw, breeding kink, jealousy, possessiveness, fluffy ending

it only took one look, just one look across the room full of guests to reignite something that had never really been extinguished.

nanami's grip around his glass of wine got a little tighter, his eyes flashing at you and his heart starting to beat fast.

he became more muscular since your divorce, his shoulders looked stronger, carrying him with much more confidence and charisma than before.

maybe he finally quit his shitty job, you thought to yourself, trying to act cool as you saw him coming closer...

yeah he definitely quit his job, you think to yourself again, laying on your back while his cock is splitting you open.

"I missed you so much my love..."

familiar goosebumps hit your skin and his hands slide along the curves of your waist, the tip of his cock pushing against your cervix.

all you can do is take it, unfocused eyes watching your ex-husband thrusting inside your dripping pussy. nanami grunts, his body pressed against your own, his breath fanning over your neck, and you can't help but moan his name and wrap your legs around his hips, trying to meet his thrusts.

"'missed you too kento..." you try to speak, your hands reaching out to hold his face.

you missed everything about him, the warmth of his skin, his cologne scent, how messy his blond hair gets when you run your hands through it, and the way he knows every single one of your weak spots.

he never fucked you this hard in the past, of course he was rough sometimes, but you can tell something has changed, snapped.

not that you're complaining about it.

your back arches off the bed, making his pelvic bone touch your spasming clit.

"this time I'm not letting you go angel..."

his eyes get darker, thinking about the potential men and women who had you since your divorce, it makes him fuck you harder, deeper.

"mine..." he whispers, more to himself than for you to hear.

he takes your hands to pin them above your head and smiles when he hears you whine.

"you're gonna cum angel?" he asks, not slowing down his thrusts.

he knows you by heart, and he smiles when you nod, his mouth starting to suck on the soft skin of your neck, marking you.

"that's okay, I'm gonna cum too..." he says, and you can feel his hot breath hitting your skin.

he keeps rubbing your sweet spot, completely lost in the feeling. god he missed that feeling, you're the only one who can make him lose his mind like that, he can't believe he let you go when you're this perfect.

"you're still not on birth control?"

and he smiles again when he sees you shake your head. so perfect.

"gonna put a baby in you yeah? gonna make you a mom... will you let me angel?"

you mindlessly nod your head, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist, your whole body is trembling and you feel his cock twitches inside of you.

"please... breed me..." you sweetly asks, and he can't deny you.

your vision gets blurry, your eyes roll back and you violently cum around his cock as he does the same in you, still thrusting to push his cum deeper. you both stays silent for a few seconds, nanami's head buried in your neck, inhaling your familiar scent, closing his eyes of content when he feels your hands rubbing his back.

"I love you, I've never stopped loving you, even after six years..." he whispers, his voice sounding almost vulnerable as he kisses your shoulder.

you ruffle his hair, and you whine a little as you can feel his cock still pushing against your cervix.

"I'm here now, I won't leave."

he hums, his arms wrapping around your waist and you can feel yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.

this time you both won't let go of each other.

jjk masterlist

[mad-likea-hatter777]

You know

We all make jokes about committing suicide and wanting to die but if we really wanted to die we would just back talk to our mothers more

[radioh]

BEFORE I LET YOU...

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[nerdtextbookloser]

#iwouldnever #thatsalie #imtextbook #andasub

#oops

filming a cute sub while i fuck them, then making them sit in my lap and watch it back while i finger them<3

[lostjulys]

manage me i'm a mess turn a page i'm a book half unread i wanna be laughed at laughed with just because ! i wanna feel weightless and that shouldbe enough but i'm stuck in this fucking rut !! waiting on a secondhand pickmeup !! and im overrr getting ollllderrrrrrrr if i could find the time iwouldnever let another day go by im overrrrrrrrrr getting ollddddderrrr maybe it's not my weekend but it's gonnabe my year and im so sickof watching as the minutes pass as i go nowhere!!! andthis is my reaction!!! to everything i fear !!!! cos ive been going crazy i dont wanna waste another minute here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mscrichelle]

Why does everyone trust Paul with their food?

[dream-alittlebiggerdarling]

Pretty moon and a terrifying hot air balloon. #iwouldnever #couldntpaymeenough

[lif3l33s]

Hate being ignored

[camerapictureguy]

Oh my... cheesy glitz... 🙄 #fakepeople #palmsprings #desertinspringtime #iwouldnever (at Downtown Palm Springs)