#iwillgivemyall

[balancingthisvessel-blog]

Stillness

After bouncing emotions and thoughts off friends and much reflection, what I have been longing for and needed lately is STILLNESS. I have been so on the go lately. Running, hiking, yoga, friends, kids, family, etc. I haven't sat down and intentionally meditated in a while or even been still for that matter. I have been keeping myself so busy that I haven't had time to feel things. To actually, deep down in my soul, feel things and surrender to them. I think this is understandable considering my recent past and all of the emotional turmoil it consisted of but is it healthy? Hell no. I'm battling with loneliness which is fine/normal but how I am channeling it isn't. I'm finding myself looking for social interactions and I have moved away from being okay by myself. I love time to myself. Why do I do this? I'm creeping back into old habits that I want nothing to do with. Today is a new day. The beginning of less craziness and more beautiful and intentional time being still. Rooting myself down to peel away layers and discover my heart and who I truly am. Confusion is at an all time high right now but I think it is a beautiful place to be. Discovery happens here. Lessons are learned and growth is inevitable. I will not lose myself again. I refuse to become broken in my confusion and pain. I will face this head on. I will no longer constantly distract myself and I WILL become stronger. I am on track, I just got a little distracted. It's amazing how my body and mind have been yelling at me: "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS PLACE." This place of false fulfilment. I will ground myself and learn to find fulfilment in my stillness. I'm grateful for friends. Friends that have helped me work through things by talking to them. There are SO many beautiful people in my life. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for listening and giving advice. Thank you for being such a meaningful vessel of love in my life. ❤ Namaste friends. 🕉 We are all beautiful vessels of light. Peel away the layers and expose this light. Share it with the world.