#ive watched this movie 12 times in the past two days

[jaanii]

the funniest part of cars is the no headlights thing

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Jesse Duquette, The Daily Don   ::  [Scott Horton]

* * * *

How Murdoch steamrolled Tucker

LUCIAN K. TRUSCOTT IV ::  APR 25, 2023

Rupert Murdoch is 92 years old, and everyone just finished making fun of his brief engagement to conservative radio host Lesley Ann Smith, the ex-wife of California railroad heir John B. Huntington.  The engagement lasted just two weeks.  Murdoch has been married four times, the last time to Jerry Hall, model and ex-wife of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger.  That marriage lasted six years.  Murdoch reportedly told Hall he was divorcing her in an email.

Murdoch’s marital history is particularly interesting when you consider his recent divorce from Fox host Tucker Carlson.  That’s the way I think of Carlson’s departure from his seven-year career at Fox.  When Rupert decides it’s over, it’s over.  Here’s an excerpt from his email to his former wife: “Jerry, sadly I’ve decided to call an end to our marriage,” The Guardian reported. “We have certainly had some good times, but I have much to do.”

You get that?  It was good while it lasted, six years with those cameras flashing at the world’s wealthiest media-mogul with his supermodel on his arm, but now he was finished.  Moving on.  Busy man.

You don’t want to get on the bad side of Rupert Murdoch.  You don’t even want to be on his good side, because as his marriages and latest engagement prove, once he decides it’s time to pull the ripcord, you’re in the wind.

It’s been the same with his business empire.  It’s easy to forget that Murdoch was once just an Australian newspaper owner with big eyes to get off that gigantic island-continent and make his way in the wider world.  His first big move, way back in the 60’s, was to expand into Great Britain, buying the News of the World and the Sun.  Next was New York City, where he established a beachhead in 1976 by buying New York Magazine and the Village Voice in a hostile takeover.  I wrote about that battle for the late-lamented New Times magazine, and I have to say that I watched slack jawed as Murdoch steamrolled Clay Felker, the magazine genius who had created New York Magazine and then combined it with the downtown alternative paper I had worked for, the Voice.  Murdoch charmed, threatened, and walked over or past the board of New York Magazine, getting one after another of them on his side until he was able to, in a single sweep of paperwork and investment banking magic, make Felker’s mini-empire his.  The New York Post was next, followed by his purchase of the prestigious London broadsheet, The Times.

He became an American citizen in 1985 and set out on another buying spree, this time buying Twentieth Century Fox.  He used the Fox brand to buy up a small television network, Metromedia, which he transformed into the Fox channel.  In the early 90’s, the Fox channel began carrying original programing.  Then he formed the British broadcasting company, BSkyB.  In 1996, Murdoch started Fox News on cable, and in 2007, his holding company, News Corporation, bought the Wall Street Journal, which he had coveted since the days when he took over New York Magazine.

If you owned anything that published in print, made movies for the big screen, or broadcast shows on network or cable television, you were a target.  Murdoch hit more than he missed.  By last year, he was worth $21.7 billion and was the world’s 31st wealthiest man.  

Fox News became a cash cow for the Murdoch empire, taking in about $12 billion a year in recent years.  It’s money Murdoch earned by feeding a ravenous horde of conservative viewers a steady diet of right-wing red meat around the clock.  Fox News long ago ceased being a real news network and simply went into the business of raw propaganda with its wink-and-a-nod motto, “Fair and Balanced.”

Tucker Carlson became one of the channel’s biggest revenue generators with his nightly spew of conspiracy theories, racist garbage like “the great replacement theory,” paeons to authoritarianism with his worship of Hungary’s Victor Orban – Carlson even took his show there for an entire week in 2021, and produced a rabidly antisemitic documentary on the country last year called “Hungary vs. Soros: Fight for Civilization.”

All of this was fine and dandy for Rupert Murdoch as long as Tucker kept the bucks coming.  Carlson warmly embraced Trump’s Big Lie, beginning when Trump lost the election in 2020.  The Big Lie was a feature of his show almost nightly for the next two-plus years.  Carlson’s show featured many of the right-wing loons who made the allegations against Dominion Voting Systems that were defamatory – Rudolph Giuliani, Sidney Powell and many others.  Tucker sat there and listened to them spew their lies night after night, nodding and giving his patented look of puzzled curiosity.  But asking questions and looking puzzled wasn’t a defense when Dominion sued for defamation.  That lawsuit ended up costing Murdoch a whole lot of money, $787.5 million to be exact, when Fox News settled the suit without a court fight last week.

There has been a ton of speculation about why Carlson was fired yesterday morning, much of it settling on emails written by Carlson that were revealed by the Dominion suit.  Many of his emails were embarrassing to the network, and thus to Murdoch, as Carlson wrote repeatedly that he didn’t believe a word of the garbage he was putting out on his show about the Big Lie that Trump won the election.

The L.A. Times reported yesterday that sources inside Fox say that Murdoch himself was upset by some of Carlson’s emails that were not released by the Dominion lawsuit because they didn’t bear on its defamation claim.  These emails instead gave an insight into what Carlson thought about Fox management, according to the L.A. Times.

“Fox management” is one man:  Rupert Murdoch.  Carlson is said to have written some nasty stuff about lesser Fox figures such as CEO Suzanne Scott.  Murdoch doesn’t care about Suzanne Scott.  He doesn’t care if Tucker Carlson thinks Scott is incompetent or unlikable.  What Rupert Murdoch cares about is being considered a Big Man Media Mogul and making money.

The Dominion lawsuit, much of it caused by the statements made on Carlson’s nightly show, brought Murdoch low in the eyes of his Big Man Media Mogul contemporaries, the guys – and they’re almost all guys – who show up every year at Herbert Allen’s Sun Valley Conference of media Big Men.  It’s a kind of summer camp in the mountains of Idaho for media moguls, among whom Murdoch was arguably the biggest.  Herbert Allen is the CEO of the investment bank, Allen & Company.  Murdoch goes way back with Herbert Allen and his investment bank.  He and his company handled Murdoch’s takeover of New York Magazine way back in 1976.  Murdoch doesn’t like it when you do something that lowers him in the eyes of “Herbie” Allen, as he is called, or any of the other media Big Men.

And he especially doesn’t like it when he can put a name on a loss of $787.5 million.  That name is Tucker Carlson, who thought that he was a Big Man because of the adoring hordes who watched his show every night and the millions he was paid for attracting them.  But he wasn’t a Big Man.  He was a worker bee in the sprawling Murdoch media empire, and now he’s a worker bee who got squashed by the Murdoch steamroller, as so many have been squashed before him.

Murdoch still owns the Fox empire.  Tucker Carlson owns his trust fund check as an heir to Swanson Frozen Foods, however much he managed to put away when he was riding high in the 8 o’clock slot on Fox News, and whatever he can squeeze out of Fox in his so-called exit package.  And he owns the stack of bills that are piling up from lawyers representing him in the sexual harassment lawsuit filed by former Fox producer Abby Grossman, because there is no doubt that in firing him, Rupert Murdoch severed Fox from Carlson in the Grossman lawsuit and is no longer paying his legal bills.

I often see businessmen like Murdoch referred to in the press as killers.  But Murdoch isn’t a killer.  He’s a taker.  He sees something he thinks he wants, like a magazine or a newspaper or a studio or a network, and he takes it and then he takes all the money it brings in.

Murdoch paid the legal fees for his four ex-wives, but he wasn’t married to Tucker Carlson.  Murdoch was once his employer, and he was happy to take the money Tucker earned for him, but he’s a busy man, and he moved on.

[Lucian Truscott Newsletter]

[narwhalpanda]

15 questions/15 people

thank you @angry-velociraptor for tagging me! im usually horrible at filling these (i tell myself aw thats sweet, ill do it later and then ill NEVER get back to it) but today im determined to answer some questions >:3c

1. are you named after anyone?

nope, my mom had to change plans for my name last minute so that my birthday and name day didn't fall on the same day. but even the planned name still wasn't an homage to anyone

2. when was the last time you cried?

about two days ago watching the end of Search for Bob (CR1 oneshot) when Liev'tel asks the Raven Queen whether Vex and Keyleth will be happy. that got me good, dammit Liam and Matthew

but overall i am so easily moved to tears its ridiculous

3. do you have kids?

nu-uh

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

lately i've noticed that it's not always obvious to some of my friends when im joking/sarcastic without malice, so im trying not to unless im sure there cannot be a misunderstanding

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

their neutral facial expression (or how the look at me) and height i think?

6. what’s your eye color?

grey-blue, got that from dad's side

7. scary movie or happy endings?

im not much into movies but ive definitely watched more horrors than romantic comedies, so ill go with scary (ive got Mouth of Madness on my list rn)

8. any special talents?

not exactly a talent but id say im weirdly lucky when it counts

9. where were you born?

in czech republic, normal hospital baby

10. what are your hobbies?

drawing is my life long hobby, something i keep coming back to. lately ive become the filthiest of casuals of ttrpgs and im having a blast. also i have been housebound for past three months (icky leg injury) and in that time i got to come back to reading which has also always been my beloved activity, as well as pick up new things like painting minis (ive got little ranger/fighter/wizard mice miniatures and the are tiny and adorable af) and in past few days i got into neocities so im learning html and css to make my own little website and im having so much fun. id like to formally apologize to all my for the time abandoned hobbies, including but not limited to writing, embroidery, linocut and sewing, i swear ill get back to yall some time but now is just not that time.

11. do you have any pets?

currently not :c

12. what sports do you play/have you played?

ive played volleyball for ten years, i stopped playing when i went to college. after that ive done tai-chi for a year, then nothing for a loong time, then i finally decided to hit the gym and get some shoulders, which went great before i felt fit enough to try volleyball again and that is where my 3 month long icky leg injury comes from lmao. but when im healed id love to get fit again (not sure about the volleyball, im super scared but asasdgf it made me so happy to play again), it was brief but awesome, it really is so good for my body and brain to exercise regularly

13. how tall are you?

169 cm, which i think is about 5'6"

14. favorite subject in school?

geography and literature. i wish i remembered more from both high school and uni, man, it was cool to know things about these

15. dream job?

my dream job used to be book editor or librarian. now... ive worked as a librarian for two years now, on two different posts, and i really like the job, tho i eventually wish to do something that is paid a bit better and/or more creative. id like some fun job sometime in my life. but who wouldnt :D

tagging: @lawful-goof @mu-mumie @zraloci-cpr @picachews @zelvuska (feel no obligation you know how it goes :3)

[the-most-adorkable-smile]

Let's see if I can do this

1. The Fall Guy

2. Barbie

3. Mad Max: Fury Road

4. Spider-man: across the spiderverse

5. Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse

6. Chef

7. Heat

8. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

9. Pride & Prejudice

10. Harold & Maude

11. Ikiru

12. Alien

13. Aliens

14. Alien 3

15. Alien: resurrection

16. Attack the Block

17. Seven Samurai

18. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

19. Kung Fu Panda

20. Kung Fu Panda 2

21. How to Train your Dragon

22. How to Train your Dragon 2

23. Little Miss Sunshine

24. Throne of Blood

25. John Wick

26. John Wick Chapter 2

27. John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum

28. Spotlight

29. Predator

30. Predator 2

31. Predators

32. Monty Python's the Meaning of Life

33. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

34. Mad Max: the Road Warrior

35. Rebel without a Cause

36. The Breakfast Club

37. Sing Sing

38. See how they Run

39. Knives Out

40. Glass Onion: a Knives Out mystery

41. Hot Fuzz

42. The World's End

43. Shaun of the Dead

44. Scott Pilgrim vs the World

45. Snowpiercer

46. Dredd

47. Clueless

48. Yojimbo

49. West Side Story

50. Rush

51. Baby Driver

52. Spirited Away

53. Howl's Moving Castle

54. Emma

55. Much ado about Nothing

56. Romeo + Juliet

57. Moulin Rouge

58. Get Out

59. Nope

60. Us

61. Day of the Dead

62. 28 Days Later

63. Serenity

64. For a Few Dollars More

65. The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

66. The Death of Stalin

67. Real Steel

68. Booksmart

69. (Nice) Everything Everywhere All At Once

70. Kelly's Heroes

71. Thor: Ragnarok

72. X-Men: First Class

73. X-Men: Days of Future Past

74. The Grand Budapest Hotel

75. Queen & Slim

76. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

77. Enter the Dragon

78. Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring

79. Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers

80. Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King

81. Star Wars episode IV: a New Hope

82. Star Wars episode VI: Return of the Jedi

83. Star Wars episode V: the Empire Strikes Back

84. Rogue One: a Star Wars story

85. Mission: Impossible

86. The Raid 2: Berandal

87. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

88. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

89. Mission: Impossible - Fallout

90. Keanu

91. Jurassic Park

92. Die Hard

93. Lady Bird

94. The Lego Batman Movie

95. Hairspray

96. Wallace & Gromit: the Curse of the Were-Rabbit

97. The Incredibles

98. Fantastic Mr Fox

99. Inglorious Basterds

100. The Mitchells vs the Machines

---

So I very easily forget about movies, it turns out. I felt pretty confident in the first half, but I felt like I was reaching as I dipped into more and more franchises. Simple conclusion: I don't watch nearly enough Bollywood, and there aren't nearly enough musicals in my list! I tried to avoid Disney IPs until the very end, and I'd like to branch out in Asian cinema from the two directors I've watched so much of. Maybe now's the time to make a change!

If asked, do you think you could make a list of 100 of your favorite movies?

[gr1zzbear]

she’s adorable!!! give her a kiss for me!

can’t recommend silence of the lambs/the hannibal movies and shows enough!!!

ooooh! ok a quick back story on everyone! (the ‘dc’ in DC Comics stands for disregard canon <3 )

semi color coded to match their suits <3

ok first we have Bruce Wayne the bat himself!

let’s see… his origin story is his parents being murdered in front of him when he was 8ish after that Alfred his butler (pseudo father) took care of him

he would later travel the world training with the best hand to hand fighters in the world so he could “clean up*” his hometown of Gotham city

it’s also important to note he is Richie Rich rich

* it is debatable whether he’s stopping criminals or just beating up mentally ill people

ANYWHO

his oldest (daughter syndrome) kid Dick Grayson! up until the age of 9 he and his parents were world famous acrobats in a traveling circus before they fell to their deaths right in front of him that’s when he was taken in by bruce who was in the crowd watching them perform

(i’m a little fuzzy on the order of events but) Dick became the first Robin after Bruce/Batman kept having to stop to him from killing the man who sabotaged his parents acrobat ropes (i don’t know what they’re called)

he was Robin for about 8 years til Bruce kicked him out after getting shot (very rude, bad Bruce)

now he goes by the name Nightwing and lives/protects Gotham’s sister city Blüdhaven!

Robin II: Jason Todd

Jason is from the “bad part” of Gotham known as Crime Alley (aka the part of town Batman only goes to on the anniversary of his parents death. bad batman)

anyway! Jason was in the process of stealing the tires off of the Batmobile when he first met Batman (and hit him with a tire iron!) since Jay was an orphan Bruce adopted his and made him the new Robin when he was 12

sadly Jason Peter Todd died before his sixteenth birthday😔

but he got better!

long story but a shitty writer, a possibly ill advised poll and 20 years (our time) later he could back as th crime load known as Red Hood

self-appointed Robin no. 3: Tim Drake

i’m borrowing his name to be your santa for reasons…

like Dick and Bruce, tiny three year old Tim was also at the circus the day the Graysons died i’m not going to the details atm but watching dick perform helped tim figure out the secret identities of Robin I and Batman at the age of nine! he became robin a few years later when Batman and Nightwing were trapped by a villain and has been Robin off and on ever since (DC wouldn’t let him age past 17 for some reason👿)

Bruce adopted him after his parents died

also he’s bisexual!!!🌈

ok this has gotten way too long i’m gonna speed run the rest

Cassandra Cain aka Black Bat, Batgirl III and Orphan

daughter of two assassins. her father trained her as a living weapon but never taught her to speak or read. she ran away cause she refused to kill and happened across the the secret identity of the first Batgirl who helped out then some time after Bruce adopted her

also she’s a badass i love her <3

Stephanie Brown: Spoiler, Batgirl II and Robin IV (not a wayne kid but dated one)

daughter of a c-list villain became Spoiler to ruin his plans, dated Tim and was briefly Robin before Bruce fired her (fuck you Bruce)

Damian al Ghul Wayne: Robin V

Bruce’s only biological and the youngest! ok so his grandfather is the head of a eco-friendly terrorism cult and was trained as an assassin since born. Bruce didn’t find out about him til he was 11ish but he lives with him now. he had a lot of issues but he’s working through them <3

Duke Thomas aka the Signal

he lives with the wayne while his parents are in a coma, he’s the only daytime Gotham vigilante and he has powers that allow him to manipulate light and shadows!!

ok that was a lot and i hope it all made sense😅 believe it or not that was me simplifying their backstories😂

matthew lillard shaggy my beloved !!! i love that one so much!! and the scooby doo show is great!

MARTINS CHAIR!!!!! the correct answer honestly! niles is my favorite! i love his and roz’s relationship !

do you have any christmas traditions? do you decorate at all?

—🦔

Hi, so sorry I've been pretty low on spoons again! I apologize if this isn't too long!

(Lala got lots of kisses!) I'll definitely have to check out Silence of the Lambs, it looks really good! Also I had no idea that the batman universe had so many different characters!! I assume Tim is your favorite? : o Niles and Roz are hilarious together oh my god, I need to watch Fraser again soon

I have some, I haven't done them as much in recent years though but I did just decorate the tree! What sort of holiday traditions do you have? I hope you've been doing well, I'm so sorry for being slow to reply!

[gay-salt-amber]

Twisted Wonderland as Matt Rose stuff

Sleep Talking:

—

Deuce about Epel: My boyfriend once cupped my crotch in his sleep and said, “Two out of five stars.”

Jack: “Oh Walmart, Oh Walmart, Oh Walmart” Non stop for a half an hour

Ashton about his siblings: “..but he’s single on facebook!” My 12 year old stepsister…

Ace: “FLOYD GRAB THE FILES!”

Idia: “I’m gonna fuck Bill Gates CERVICALLY with a Playstation Four!”

Azul: “Its the monkeys problem if they cant finish the contract.”

Jade about Floyd: “I have to get past the Pikachu to get to the filing cabinet to see if I’m a robot or not.” Then he whipped a plate at the wall.

Lilia (Im fleshing this one out a bit) about silver: Once Silver walked out into the living room while asleep, came up to me and asked, “Father, why are deer the only animals that dont get fat?” I had to think about that one

Rashad: “I wanna be a fifth avenue peanut~”

Cater: “The clown has no penis”

Epel: “I just wanna… deep breath.. Kick so much ass”

Ruggie: Randomly yelled, “DUNKIN DOUNUTS!”  

Neige: “Small hands… inaudible Very small. How are they that small?”

Floyd: “No but the fish that was looking at me was a weird looking fish”

Che’nya: “Possum, possum, possum!” (with jazz hands)

Riddle: “Satan, love, share the damn yogurt”

Leona: sometimes I just randomly yell “FUCK” and wake myself up

Vil: Once I said, “eat the fucking veggie roll!” And then I cried

Rook (changed this one too) I once said, “I wanna be waterboarded with cheese!” In this mocking “Oh yeah daddy” type voice

Sebek: “I’m Spider-Man and i’m going to kill your family”

Trey: “ok ok, two bowls of butter”

Esther: “No no no no, use Snorlax. It has better special defense”

Crowley: “Get the fucking jetpacks ready”

Sam: I once sand Britney Spears “Circus” at the top of my lungs in my sleep and startled myself awake

Crewel (Switched this one up) I once grabbed Sams ass thinking it was a light switch

Kalim: “Don’t be so racist to spotted mice!”

Jamil: “I could have sex with everyone in New York in 8 hours”

—

not knowing how to pronounce stuff

Ruggie: I pronounce malady as m’lady

Malleus: my whole life I have been pronouncing tarot cars like carrot

Rashad: I used to pronounce Ibs (pounds) as Ill-a-balls

Kalim: I’ve been reading and saying hyperbole as ‘hyperbowl’ for fucking years

Epel: Pronounced crepe as “creep-ayy”

Rook: (changed it up) Ever since i’ve started speaking English i’ve been pronouncing melancholy as “Milan-chili”

Vil: I’ve been calling laptops labtops my whole life until 2 days ago

Leona: I’ve been pronouncing “hospice” like perfume for prostitutes all along and no one has corrected me.

Azul: I’ve been pronouncing ratio like ‘patio’ this whole time

Floyd: Unil recently, ive been pronouncing lingerie as “ling-eerie”

Deuce: TIL the correct pronunciation of persimmon. I’ve been pronouncing it like the name of a fucking Digimon

Riddle: “Satisfy. I pronounced and spelled it as statisfy until a couple days ago

Ace: I found out that “oui” is pronounced like “wee” i’ve been pronouncing it like “ooey” my entire life

Neige (changed): A friend had to correct me when I said eppy-toam for epitome. She was an English major

Lilia: I'm over 50 and still have trouble with “khaki”

Cater: my entire life I’ve been pronouncing cement as semen-t and no one corrected me.. Til now

Jamil: Well this is embarrassing Ive been pronouncing ‘priates’ like ‘pilates’ for the last 17 years

Silver: grotesque. It came up one time while watching a movie when I was younger and I asked my friends, “What the hell is grote-squee imagery?”

Idia: Yall pronounce sk8 like skate??? Ive been pronouncing it like skate eight the whole time!

Arie: Guys the cheese isnt “Monetary Jack” ITS MONTEREY JACK?!!!! IVE BEEN PRONOUNCING IT LIKE ITS RELATED TO MONEY MY WHOLE LIFE

Jade: Lack toast and tolerant. I had no idea what the hell it had to do with dairy until I was corrected

Floyd: I once asked my dad what “reptile disfunction” was

Esther (changed): A monstero lounge waiter told me that id been pronouncing my own surname wrong and I honestly feel like my whole life has been a lie

Sebek: I've always called them brussel sprouts instead of brussels sprouts

[imagines4thefandoms]

Bucky Jr.

so i was planning on writing a small one shot based off of “Ive been watching you” by Rodney Atkins but it grew into a 5K+ imagine.

Takes place during/after endgame so don’t read if you haven’t seen it but it you haven’t are you living under a rock? all of the details based on the movie were written based off memory so if the dialog is a bit off its because i haven’t seen the movie in a while. 

word count: 5k+ like i said i got carried away. 

Bucky Barnes x reader, Steve x platonic! reader

y/n found out she was pregnant three months after they lost to thanos i think you can imagine how this story goes based off the ending of the movie and the song i based this story off of. 

You honestly never thought that you could get Bucky  after you found out that Thanos destroyed the stones. You did everything you could to try and get him back: going to the sanctum to see if there was a spell, pray, hell you even thought you would try to sell your soul. You even looked into the multiverse theory but nothing worked. Three months after half the universe turned to dust you found out that you were pregnant. The thought of having the baby without Bucky there, hurt.  

Steve knew something was wrong when he hadn’t heard from you for a couple of days. He drove over to the house that you and Bucky had gotten.  The only people who knew about the house was you, Bucky and Steve. And because Steve was Steve, he had gotten a spare key, so when he pulled up to the house he just walked right in.  

Steve called out for you but you were too deep into your depression to hear him. You didn’t know that her was here til there was a knock on the bedroom door. You got out of bed so fast cause you thought that Bucky was back.

“Buck,” you asked opening the door.

Your smile fell when you saw that it was just Steve. You had forgotten that Steve knew about the house. Steve game you a soft smile because he knew how hard you were taking the loss. You left the door open and climbed back in into the bed. Steve walked over and sat by your feet.

“He’s not coming back is he,” you asked softly.

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

“I can’t do this without him Steve.”

“Do what?”

You reached into your night stand, grabbed the positive pregnancy test and handed it to Steve. He looked at the text then back at you.

“Did he know,” he asked placing the text on the nightstand.

“No. I didn’t know til last week. Steve I can’t do this alone.”

“(Y/n) you will not be doing it alone. I will be here for you,” he told you pulling the covers off. “Now come on. Time for you to get up.”

“No,” you said taking your pillow and covering your face with it.

“As godfather and favorite uncle it is my duty to get you to get out of bed.”

“Bold of you to assume you're the godfather,” you teased.

~five years later~

Ever since then Steve has been there for you every step go the way. He went to the doctor’s appointments, he helped you decorate the nursery, he even helped you pick the perfect name when you found out it was a boy: James Buchanan Barnes Jr.

Steve moved into the house, Bucky made sure that there was a spare room for Steve, to help you with the long nights after James was born. Every time he woke up to chance a dirty diaper, you would complain and tell him that you got it but he would reply with his same cheesy joke, “I’ve slept for 70 years.”

Steve was there for each step of James’ life. His first word: Steve, well it was te. His first steps, his first day of school. Steve even taught him how to ride a bike. He was like a dad to James, but he never took the role of dad. Every night before bed Steve would tell James stories of Bucky and growing up the two of you made sure that James knew about his father.

“Is daddy ever going to come back,” James asked Steve.

“I don’t think so,” Steve told James sadly.

“Mommy doesn’t talk about what happened to daddy. Can you tell me uncle te,” your son asked.

“Well you know how your parents and I are avengers?”

“Yea.”

“Well there was a bad guy that wanted to wipe out half the universe, so us and the rest of the avengers went to stop him. But we didn’t win so he wiped out half the universe and your daddy was one of those people who got wiped away.” Steve explained.

“Oh you mean the blip.”

“Yea.”

“I wish I met him,” James said pulling his covers up to his chin.

“Me too bud,” Steve tucking him in.

“Uncle te.”

“Yes buck,” Steve responded using the nick he called Buck. He only calls James that when you’re not around as to night hurt your feelings.

“Do you think daddy would like me?”

“I know your daddy would love you,” Steve assured him as he kissed if forehead.

James grabbed the photo of Bucky that you put of his nightstand and held it against his chest. Steve turned off the lights then left his room. Steve stopped when he saw you standing outside James’ room.

“He wanted to know,” he started to say ready to explain why he told James what he told him.

“He’s old enough to know. Im just glad you told him and not me. I would have broken down.”

Steve pulled you in to a hug. You pushed away from him and gave him a small smile letting him know that you appreciated the hug. Steve left to go to bed while you went to the living room and sat on the couch. You grabbed the photo book off the coffee table full of pictures of you and Bucky and just looked at them til you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up from James pulling your eyelids open. Steve tried to stop him before he woke you up but he was a little too late.

“Sorry I tried to stop him,” Steve said handing you his coffee.

“But mommy had to wake up cause we are going to see Aunt Nat,” James said sitting down at the table eating his breakfast.

After finishing half the cup you got up and went to kiss James’ head. “Your right how silly of me to sleep.”

You finished the coffee and handed the empty up of Steve on your way to your room to get dressed. Going to your closet, you grabbed one of Bucky’s shirts and a pair of jeans. As soon as you finished getting ready for the day there was a little knock at the door.

“Mommy hurry up. I want to see Aunt Nat,”

You opened the door and ruffled his hair as you walked past him. “It that because she shows you all of the old weapons at the compound,” you asked as you grabbed the toast that Steve had made for you.

James stoped in his tracks and looked at you and Steve. “How did you know. It’s supposed to be a secret,” he asked.

“Thats because your mom knows everything,” Steve replied.

“Nu uh, Mommy what’s 12 x 12,” James asked crossing his hands over his chest and tilting his head a little.

“144,” you answered him.

James went over to Steve and held is hand out for Steve’s phone. He pulled it from his pocket and opened the calculator app. He checked your answer and looked up at you with shock and awe.

“Wow mommy does know everything,” he replied handing Steve back is phone.

After ten minutes and James running back to his room to grab his teddy bear Sarge, which he dressed to look like Bucky, the three of you left for the compound. While in the car, James wouldn’t sit still cause he was too excited to see Natasha.

“James, pleas stop kicking my seat,” You asked him.

“Im just too excited,” he replied using his hands to emphasize his statement. “Can we listen to the song?”

“What song it that buddy,” Steve asked looking to James in the rearview mirror.

“Mommy knows the song.”

Steve looked over at you from the driver seat and you smirked at him while grabbing your phone and finding the video. James quickly calmed down once he knew you were going to put the song on.

“Uncle te, you can sing it too,” He said hold Sarge tight in anticipation.

“I might not know the song,” Steve replied.

“Oh you know it,” you smirked.

The song started to play and James pretended to march in place while in his car seat.

Who’s strong and brave to save the American way

“Not all of use can storm a beach or drive a tank. But there is still a way for all of us can fight” James spoke.

Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day

“Series E defense bonds, each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun”

Who will complain door to door for America

Carry the flag shore to shore for America

From Hoboken to Spokane

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan

“How do you know that,” Steve asked James and you.

“Mommy found it. It’s my favorite,” James replied.

Steve looked over at you and just shook his head. You noticed how red his face was and you just turned it up a little. The entire ride James spoke Steve’s part. After the second go around James convinced Steve to do it with him.

You couldn’t tell who was more happy to see the compound James, to see Nat, or Steve, so you could stop playing his song. As soon as the car came to a stop James unbuckled and got out of the car. Natasha walked out of the compound and held her arms open for James.

“Aunt Nat,” James yelled running into her arms.

“Hey JJ.”

After they went inside you didn’t really see either til lunch time. And since you didn’t hear an explosion you didn’t worry. James was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while nat was talking with Carol, Okoye, Rocket, and Rhodey.

After everyone hung up nat teared up a little because of Clint and James noticed. He grabbed Sarge who was in the chair next to him and handed him to her. “Here Aunt Nat, Sarge makes me feel better when I am sad.” James then went back to eating his sandwich while Steve and Nat talked a little. Then you noticed that someone was at the gate.

“Is that Scott,” you asked.

“How old is that,” Steve asked.

“Its live.”

“James stay here,” you told him as the three of you ran to see if Scott was really back.

The four of you came back to the room and James just looked at confusion. Scott explained how he was here and his plan to get everyone back. You, Nat and Steve looked at each other while Scott sat next to James and ate Natasha’s peanut butter sandwich.

“Hi,” James said pushing a glass of milk to Scott.

“Hey,” Scott replied with a questioning look.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes Jr.,” James introduced himself. “Wait are you Antman?”

“Yes I am.’

“You are so cool.”

“Thanks kid,” Scott thanked him and finished the sandwich. “I knew your dad.”

“Really, were you friends or did he try to beat you up when Hydra was hurting him?”

“Friends, well I helped him when he was in trouble,” Scott explained.

James nodded his head and thanked Scott for helping his dad, then continued to eat his sandwich. Scott finished his milk then walked over to you and motioned back to James.

“Cute kid.”

~time skip~

After the meeting with BruceHulk, you and Steve knew of the only person who might be able to help. James sat in the middle between you and Scott one the ride up to Tony’s cabin. The entire ride James and Scott were talking about Antman things. Once we got to the cabin James’ fascination with Scott disappeared. All he want to do was play with Morgan. He ran past Tony and gave Morgan a hug.

“Hi Morgan,” James said after their hug.

“James you came to play,” Morgan asked James nodded his head and they ran off to play.

“Hello to you too,” Tony called out to your son.

“Sorry. Hi uncle Tony,” James called out.

Steve, Nat, Scott and you talked to Tony and explained what the plan was. Tony didn’t agree with the plan and kept saying that it wouldn’t work. Morgan and James ran inside. Then Morgan ran back out to “save” Tony. He invited you to stay for lunch which you accepted and went in to see James helping pepper set up the table.

“Aunt pep, I need one more fork,” James said looking at the table counting the plates.

“Here,” she said holding one out for him.

He put the fork in its place and then ran to whisper something in Morgan’s ear. She agreed to whatever he said. They went into the kitchen and grabbed a towel and held it over their arms. James opened his mouth then closed it and went over to pepper. He tapped her leg and motioned for her to bend over so he could whisper in her ear. She whispered something back then came back to stand next to Morgan.

“Lunch will be ready in three minutes,” James said.

“Please wait to be seated,” Morgan stated.

They both came over to Steve and asked for his name. After he gave it name they check the “list” on Morgan’s hand and both nodded their heads.

“Right his way, Mr. Rodgers,” James said leading Steve to his seat.

They did this for everyone and then helped hand out the food to everyone. After lunch the kids played a little while longer but then it was time to leave. You had to figure out time travel without the help of Tony.

“Bye Morgan,” James said sadly.

“Bye James,” Morgan replied equally sad.

The entire time you guys where trying to perfect time travel James was standing next to Bruce wearing a lab coat that was too big and hold a clip board holding some of his drawings. You didn’t tell him why you guys were building a time machine because you didn’t want to get his hopes up.

After all the mishaps with Scott you walked over to James and asked for his scientific opinion on what you were doing wrong. He replied with ‘maybe the clock is broken’. Steve went outside for fresh air while you tried to help Bruce solve this. You were surprised when you saw Steve come back inside with not only his shield but also Tony.

“Let me guess, you were messing around and cracked time travel,” you asked throwing your hands in the air.

“Yes,” Tony said walking over to bruce.

“Wow, is that the shield,” James asked running over to Steve and ran his fingers on the vibranium disk. “Its beautiful.”

“Hold it,” Steve said handing it too James.

His eye lit up and he ran around pretending to be Captain America. After Tony explained how he cracked time travel the team split up to get more people to help with the mission. Tony got Rhodes, Nat got Clint, once rocket and Nebula got back to earth bruce and rocket went to get Thor. You called Pepper and asked her to watch James while you completed the mission and she agreed to so you and Steve brought him back to Tony’s cabin.

Once you pulled up you and Steve looked at each other and decided that now was the time to explain everything to him. Before he opened the door you told him that you needed to talk.

“Do you know why your staying with Morgan and aunt Pep for a couple hours,” you asked him.

“Cause you have a mission,” he asked.

“Yes but do you know what the mission is,” Steve asked him.

“No its top secret. Constitutional.”

“confidential,” you corrected him. “The mission is to bring back daddy and everyone who got blipped away,”

“Your going to save daddy,” James asked.

“Yes.”

“I want to help,” he exclaimed.

“I know you do bud but it's too dangerous. And we need you to be safe. Your dad would want you to be safe,” Steve stated to talk him down.

“Fine but you will call me right after.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, be safe and save daddy,” James said kissing you and Steve on the cheek before he got out of the car and ran too Morgan.  

Pepper waved to you to let you know everything would be okay then you and Steve drove back to the compound. Once you two got back, everyone was in a room talking about the stones and when the best time to get them was. It was decided that New York 2012 would be the best time to get the mind, space and time stone, 2013 Asgard would be the best time to get the reality stone, and 2014 Space would be the best time to get the soul and power stone. The teams were Steve, bruce, Tony and Scott would go to 2012, Thor and rocket would get the reality stone, nebula and Rhodes would get the power, while you Clint and Natasha would get the soul stone.

Everyone suited up and we all wished everyone good luck on their missions to receive the stones. You were standing next to Steve and the next thing you knew you where on an alien planet in the year 2014. Rhodes enlarged the Guardians’ ship and flew team soul stone to vormir. There was a long hike to where the stone was supposed to be. The three of you climbed to the top of the twin mountains and where greeted by the Red Skull. It threw you for a loop but decided to focus on getting Bucky back then the head of hydra at least for now. He explained how we were to get the stone and it was along the lines of soul for a soul. So the three of you sat there in defeat.

“There has to be another way,” you said looking between the two former assassins who where having a whole conversation without talking.

“We have to get that stone. What ever it takes,” Nat said and Clint repeated ‘whatever it takes’

They both stood up and then looked confused at each other. Then you realized what their plan was. Nat was going to sacrifice herself for the stone and Clint was going to do the same.

“No way. That is not happening,” you told them.

“Its the only way,” Nat said walking over to you. “Tell JJ I love them. And get everyone back.”

Nat gave you a hug and an electric shock surged through your whole body. The amount of electricity that you got hit with knocked you out and you didn’t wake up it after you go the stone. You woke up next to Clint in some lake.

“No,” you cried when you saw the stone in his hand and Nat no where to be found.

The two of you took a second to gather your emotions then pressed your belt and went back to 2023. You came back to the platform where left on and just dropped to your knees. Steve came over and checked you for any wounds.

“She’s gone,” you cried as you wrapped your arms around him.

Everyone gave Tony the stones so he could build the gauntlet while you went out to the lake. One by one everyone showed up too. There was a small argument over whether or not we gaunt get Nat back with the stones but you and Clint knew you couldn’t. Steve walked over to you and sat down.

“How am I going to tell James that she’s gone,” you asked him.

“You won’t have to do it alone cause we are going to get Buck back and then all three of us will go tell him,” Steve said rubbing your back.

Everyone went back inside to prepare to bring everyone back. Thor really wanted to be the one to snap everyone back but it was decided that Bruce would do it. In his works, “its mostly gamma radiation. I was made to do this.” He put the gauntlet on and snapped his fingers. The power of the stones sort of burned his arms and you ripped the gauntlet off of him while Tony tried to help with the burns.

You couldn’t really tell that it worked but you heard birds. Lots of them. Then a phone started to ring and by the look on Clint’s face you were guessing it was his wife calling and so it worked. You looked at Steve and were about to tell him it worked when the whole compound blew up. The force knocked you out a bit and you woke up later next to Clint. You saw the gauntlet laying a couple feet away so you grabbed it cause there was no was a friend blew you up.

And you were right it turned out to be Thanos from 2014 because the nebula that came back want your nice nebula. You were trying to get out from all the rubble when you heard Steves painful groans. Of course Steve was facing the titan by himself. Once you could breath fresh air you looked out at the wasteland that was once the compound. You saw Steve get up and take a stand against Thanos alone. You were about to run to his side when you heard a faint voice on the comms.

“On your left,” you heard Sam say.

You never thought hearing Sam Wilson’s voice you make you cry but it did. Because if he was back so was Bucky. All around golden circles of sparks emerged and dozens of people stepped out. You made your way to take a stand against Thanos and out the corner of your eye you saw him. You fought the urge to run to him and never let him go. That could wait.

Thanos’s creepy alien army charged at us and we charged at them. You killed a bunch of the dog thingy and eventually found yourself next to Bucky. During a small window of peace you turned to him and jumped in his arms.

“Hey doll,” he said holding you tight.

“God I missed you Buck,” you cried.

“Sorry I was gone so long,” he replied pushing you back and pressing his lips firmly against yours. “You look gorgeous by the way.”

“There is something I really need to tell you Bucky.”

He pulled you close to him and then shot at some aliens behind you. “We are kinda in the middle of a war here doll. Tell me after we win.” He ran off to kill more aliens and you did the same. You were taking a hit but over the comms you heard a plan. To get the stones back before Thanos could use them again. So during the fight there was a game of Hot potato that was being played with the gauntlet. It work for a while but eventually Thanos got the stone. It happened so quickly. He was about to snap his fingers when Tony jumped on him. Thanos threw in aside then snapped his fingers. You closed your eyes to prepare for another loss but nothing happened. Then you looked over at Tony and saw that he had the stones. He snapped his finger and Thanos and the other aliens turned to dust.

You ran over to bucky and jumped in his arms again to celebrate the win but stopped when you noticed that Tony wasn’t getting up. Pepper and Peter when over to him. It didn’t look good. You noticed pepper crying and you knew that he didn’t make it. Everyone took a knee to honor him. The Steve, Thor, and Dr. Strange walked over and helped cover his body and retrieve the stones.  You cried into Bucky’s then thought of James. Once Tony’s body was covered and the stones were safely put in a briefcase. You let go on Bucky and ran to Steve.

“James,” you cried.

Pepper walked over to you and you gave her a hug. She told you how Happy was with the kids. You felt bad for only thinking of James while your friend just died. Pepper looked at you and shook her head like she knew what you were thinking.

“Lets go,” Pepper said and you walked over to strange and asked him to do his portal to the cabin.

Bucky was right behind you completely confused on what you were doing. You looked at him and just smiled as you grabbed Steves hand then his and walked the the portal after Pepper. She ran inside but the three of you stayed outside.

“Bucky that thing I wanted to tell you,” you told him.

“I get it doll. Five years is a long time and you didn’t think I would come back,” he said looking at how you were still holding Steve’s hand.

You followed to where he was looking and stepped away from Steve. “No its not that,” you started to explain but were interpreted by James running out of the Cabin.

“Mommy,” he cried running to you. “Uncle Tony.”

“I know,” you dropped to your knees and hugged him.

You didn’t let go til he look over at Steve and he ran out of your arms into his. “Your okay,” James cried.

“Yes buddy. Just a little come cuts but I will be okay,” Steve replied.

You got up and looked over at Bucky was you could tell what he was thinking by the look in his eye. You went to go tell him he was wrong but heard James from behind you.

“You did it. Thats him right,” you son said wiping his tears away.

“Yea. Thats him,” Steve informed him.

James walked over to Bucky and just looked up at him. Bucky knelt down to meet the boy who he thought was yours and Steve’s kid.

“Hey,” Bucky said.

“Hi,” James replied looking at Buck’s face. “You’re taller than I imagined.”

“Yea,” Buck laughed. “Whats your name?”

“James Buchanan Barnes Jr. and this is Sarge,” James said showing Bucky his teddy.

Bucky looked at James then at you. “I thought…”

“You well you were never the sharpest tool,” you cut him off.

“Im glad I get to meet you dad,” James said wrapping his arms around Bucky.

“Me too.”

~time skip~

It has been a couple weeks since Tony and Nat’s funeral and James was taking Nat’s death better than you expected. You were pretty sure he was to busy getting to know Bucky to let her death get to him and you weren’t complaining.

“What happened to your arm. Mommy and uncle Te never told me that story,” James said poking Bucky’s metal arm.

“I lost it when I fell off a train,” Bucky explained.

“That was back in World War 2. How are you still alive? Did you crash a plane into water like uncle te?”

“No but I was frozen like him for a while.”

“When you were getting hurt by hydra.”

“Yes but now I'm all better.”

“Cool will you feel it if I punch your metal arm?”

“No.”

“Awesome. I want a metal arm.”

“Maybe for Christmas,” you replied laughing.

Steve came into the living room from the kitchen with drinks. James yelled something about doing something important and ran out of the room. The three of you sat in the living room and caught up. You told Bucky everything about James and Steve told y’all about his trip to return the stones. James came back into the living room ten minutes later with a huge smile on his face.

“What did you do,” you asked him.

“Nothing,” he replied.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other and just laughed. They mentioned how much James was like Bucky when he was a kid.

“Mommy can i’m hungry,” James told you as he sat next to Bucky.

You got up to go make his something to eat when you noticed black paint on the floor. You looked over at James and saw that his left hand was black with gold lines.

“James what did you do? And please tell me it comes off,” you asked.

James got up and took off his jacket to reveal that he painted his left arm black and gold to match Bucky’s

“Now I really match daddy, see. Same name and same arm,” he replied showing off the slightly wet arm.

You opened you mouth to yell about how there is paint on your floors and probably on the stairs too and how he ruined his clothes and possible the couch with the paint but just closed your mouth and shook your head.

“Now that you are back this is your problem,” you said walking into the kitchen to feet Bucky Jr.

“Did I do something wrong,” James asked looked between Bucky and Steve.

“No buddy, you just made a mess with the paint,” Bucky said pointing to the black paint on the floor.

“Oops,” He replied.

After eating and cleaning the paint, life started to normal. Steve staying til he found an apartment close by which James couldn’t understand why he was leaving. After Steve told him that he could come over and have guy night he decided that Steve could move out. And with Bucky back James basically pushed you aside and preferred his dad. Everything Bucky did James did. Everything Bucky ate James ate, even vegetables.

“James, I have been trying to get you to eat your vegetables for ever and now that your dad is here you love vegetables,” you asked when you saw him finish his carrots.

“No vegetables are gross but I want to be just like daddy and daddy eats vegetables,” he replied making a face over how gross he thought carrots where.

After he got in trouble for painting his arm James decided to do the next best thing and waste all the foil in the house to wrap is arm. You even caught his pretending to be Bucky while he was playing in the back yard.

“What,” Bucky said wrapping his arms around you are you watched James play.

“Red Skull I am the winter soldier and I am here to put an end to you and the rest of hydra,” James said pointing his toy gun and sarge who was wearing a red hat.

“He idolizes you,” you said resting your head against Buck’s shoulder.

“Jealous,” he asked kissing your neck.

“No just annoyed that he is a mini you.”

“Daddy come play,” James called.

Bucky walked outside and pulled you with him. James explain how Bucky would be on his team.

“We are stopping Sarge, he’s the red skull. And im you so you can be… Uncle Te.”

“What about me,” Steve asked waking into the back yard.

“You can be a bad guy with mommy cause she needs a partner,” James said placing Sarge’s red hat on you.

“Why am I the red skull,” you asked slightly offended.

“Cause you get mad a lot and look like him,” James stated like it was a known fact.

Bucky and Steve started laughing while you took the hat off and changed James around to get back at him.

“Daddy, mommy is crazy help me,” James yelled at the top of his lungs which caused Bucky and Steve to laugh more.

Bucky was too busy laughing so James stopped running and took of his jacket to reveal his foil arm and held it out.

“I am Sargent James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th infantry of the US army and I order you to stop chasing me,” he said and crossed his arms.

You stopped and just took in your son’s appearance. “Mommy you look really pretty,” James said with the same smirk Bucky gives you when he is trying to apologize or get himself out of trouble. Yea James was defiantly Bucky Jr.

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 20] FINAL

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, shibari, dom!seungcheol, dirty talk, overstimulation/forced orgasms, squirting, degradation, name calling, daddy!kink, gags! 😍💕 ✨HAPPY NEW YEAR!!✨ Here’s to more fun fics in 2021! I can’t believe this is our last chapter though omg 😭 It’s been suuuuch a journey and a privilege to write this little series out! I’ve honestly thought about a camgirl/boy series for like, over a year now, and I’m glad I finally did it! I completed one of my goals! 🥺💕 2020 was definitely a wild one, but I want to thank you all so fuckin’ much for supporting me and stickin’ it out with me all year! Here’s to more in the coming year!💕 Also I was proofreading this at the dining table last night thinking my roommate wouldn’t come out of their room but they did(while I was making dinner and my hands were dirty so I couldnt close my laptop ☠️) and they walked past my laptop and now I’m convinced they saw my fucking smut fic right in the open so yes my little mini-break next week is MUCH needed cause I am ✨embarrassed✨ 🤣 I’ll still do my inbox roundup tomorrow and probably answer a bunch of small thirst posts ‘n stuff throughout the week but there won’t be any drabbles! For now, enjoy chapter 20 🥺, have a safe weekend, and remember that I love you~ ❤️🍒💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 COMPLETE

Seungcheol wakes up much earlier than you do the next morning; pressing a kiss to your forehead as you groan and snuggle deeper into your pillow.

“Baby, I need to go run some errands for a little bit, okay? Just keep sleeping, you don’t need to get up yet. But, I made breakfast and put it in the microwave for you when you decide to get up later.”

His voice is muffled and you can barely understand what he’s saying but you nod; a soft sigh on your lips when you drift back into dreamland. He takes his time getting ready, checking his phone notifications as he gets dressed and places a note on the nightstand knowing that you didn’t catch a single word he said.

‘Hey, did you get everything I asked for?’

Jimin🧍🏻: of course, who do you think I am? Jeongguk?

Jimin🧍🏻: and btw, i’m just giving you a crash course okay? We don’t really have a ton of time

Jimin🧍🏻: did you watch those tutorial videos I sent you?

‘Yeah, I did some practice on my breaks, but I guess you can tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.’

Jimin🧍🏻: okee, i’ll be waiting. Don’t get here too late!

‘I’ll be otw soon. Thanks again, Jimin.’

“Ow--damn, okay, you don’t need to tug on it so much!”

“Sorry, I’ll be careful! And why are we practicing on you anyway?! Couldn’t you just have shown me pictures or something?”

“How else will you learn if not on an actual body? It doesn’t work the same way, Seungcheol.” Jimin pauses, checking himself in the mirror. “Also, keep in mind she does have boobs so just… go slow, okay? It’s not gonna sit like this on her.”

Seungcheol blushes a crimson red; biting the inside of his cheek at how amateur he was at this.

“Okay…”

Seungcheol is gone for a lot longer than you anticipate and although he replies quickly to your texts, you can’t help but be curious about where he’d gone and what he was doing.

Especially knowing that the two of you had to film tonight and knowing that everything was up to Seungcheol.

A shiver rolls down your body at the thought and you quickly try to shake off the nerves that seem to slowly invade your body when your mind starts to wander.

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure…”

“I’m home!”

“Where have you--oh, that’s… a b-big box? Um, should I be concerned...”

Seungcheol grins, shrugging as he sets it onto the kitchen counter. “Just some supplies for tonight. I had to go pick them up from a friend but I had to make sure everything was right.” He notices the way you can’t seem to take your eyes off of the box; eyes twinkling when he makes his way towards you.

He tilts your head up to meet his in a searing kiss, lips easing into a smile when you wrap your arms around his neck and melt under his touch. You moan against his lips just before he pulls away; staring dreamily at him while his hands start to roam over your clothed body.

“We have a long night ahead of us, sweetheart. Let’s pamper you a little before then, hmm?”

j__min: ??? where’s the loverboy

j__min has donated $200

angelhan has donated $75

therealchan99 has donated $50

xcaliburDK has donated $75

xcaliburDK: is that the sybian? Haven’t seen that in a looong while

You bite your lip and nod, somewhat shy as you sit alone in front of the camera. “Seungcheol’s still… setting up but he told me to start! I’m a little nervous, to be honest…” Your eyes flit to Seungcheol who rummages through the box in the kitchen and from the angle you’re sat in, you can’t see a single thing he takes out.

Earlier, he’d cooked you your favorite meal and even took the time to give you a full body massage before the two of you cuddled on the sofa and watched a movie. To you, it seemed a little too suspiciously tame and you only found yourself more nervous when he made you drink two glasses of water and ever so quietly announced it was time to start getting ready for the camshow.

“He’s being so suspicious! He was even gone for a few hours earlier today…” You mumble; brows furrowed at the camera before checking the comments.

It still amazed you every time with how much money you and Seungcheol made from the camshows and videos and it made you feel even better knowing that everyone loved the chemistry the two of you had together. There were a lot of video requests and ideas mixed in with the comments at any given time and you were definitely ready to pitch some to Seungcheol now that you’d rebranded your channel to be a couple’s channel instead.

“Almost done, sweetheart!”

gc__koo: he told me to watch cuz he was being suspicious with me too 

gc__koo has donated $50

alphagyu97: what is he even plotting

alphagyu97: i am excited to see the sybian again tho ngl

artist8hao: pretty baby gonna squirt for us again?

universe_WZ: hell fuckin yea let us see how fuckin wrecked you get on that machine

You feel your pussy clench around emptiness at their comments; already feeling yourself getting wetter and wetter with the anticipation.

Movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention and Seungcheol walks towards the bed with a wide smile and the same box in hand. “Ready?” You can only nod back slowly, watching as he dumps the contents of the box right next to your body.

gc__koo: oy

chwenon: oh shit

sleepy_wonu: oh baby, you’re in for it now

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

Your entire body fills with warmth as you look over the various objects; unsure of where to really look first. “I, um--”

A stack of red ropes sits next to a small bullet vibrator that sits next to a ball gag that sits next to a pair of EMT shears and your eyes immediately flit up to Seungcheol who only smirks back at your shocked expression. “I had some other toys I wanted to use but I figured I should go easy on you, y’know? Since you showed me some mercy last night.”

Nodding, you reach out towards the ropes, touching them shyly. “Why red?”

“Thought they’d be on theme for you, babygirl.”

Seungcheol takes his time; remembering Jimin’s words when he tugs the ropes around your wrists.

“Colour, babygirl?”

“G-green… daddy…”

He nods, sitting up on his knees behind you as you sit on the sybian and face the camera. You bite your lip, somewhat embarrassed that you were already soaking the toy underneath you as Seungcheol worked to bind your arms behind you.

“D--daddy, where did you l-learn this?” You whisper, somewhat curious if this had anything to do with why he was gone for so long earlier in the day.

“Mm, daddy’s friend Jimin was kind enough to help me get the tools and teach me a few tricks to make sure I kept my babygirl safe. Wasn’t that kind of him?” You nod gently, gulping when you shift atop the machine slightly in hopes of relieving some of the growing sexual tension in your body. “Why don’t you thank him properly, sweetheart?”

Your hazy eyes make eye contact with the camera, head tilted slightly. “T-thank you, J-Jimin… for--for helping daddy…”

j__min: omg a shoutout ive made it

kitty_junjun: we never thought we’d see the day

tangerine_kwan: and here we all thought you were gonna be the bad guy huh

hoshi_tiger_xx: like when u only see previews of the book online but the rest of it is different ykwim

Seungcheol makes sure your arms are bound snug enough but not too tight; leaning away slightly to admire his rope work. “Feeling okay so far, babygirl?”

Nodding, you whine back slightly. “Y-yes, daddy… But… my--my pussy wants s-something…” He laughs in return, readjusting so that he’s sitting on your side this time to give himself easier access to start the rest of the bindings.

“Is that so? You’re gonna have to be a little more patient this time ‘cause daddy’s not done yet.” He starts working on the rest of the harness; going slow and checking in with you often to make sure none of the ropes were digging into your skin or making you uncomfortable. “You’ll have to forgive me a little though, I’m admittedly a ‘lil inexperienced so our pretty babygirl is only going to be tied up in this pretty harness for tonight.”

gentleman_josh95: the fact u even took the time to learn just for her

gentleman_josh95 has donated $100

artist8hao: seriously, the dedication

kitty_junjun: we stan a man who knows safety and etiquette 

Comments of reassurance and donations flood in at Seungcheol’s small apology and although the two of you are in your own world; you can tell from just the amount of pings coming from your laptop that they all seemed to be encouraging him.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as Seungcheol continues to move around you on the bed to finish the harness and a smile graces his lips when he starts to secure the last knots in the back. He can’t help but mentally pat himself on the back at how neatly he’d done it for his first time.

“There. All done, baby.”

Your eyes flit to the laptop’s screen to see yourself; cheeks hot when you see how fucked out you already look and he hadn’t even touched you properly or turned on the machine.

The star harness Seungcheol had tied looks pretty with red ropes and you can’t hide your smile at how good it looks on you too either. “Ah, daddy made it really p-pretty… Thank you.”

This time, Seungcheol nods, letting you admire yourself as he silently reaches for the small remote for the sybian, switching it on.

Your entire body lurches forward as soon as the vibrations attack your clit and you immediately find yourself moaning and grinding down onto the machine as he gives you some relief.  

“You’re welcome, babygirl. Now let’s really have some fun, huh?”

You need to cum.

Badly.

“Awww, is my pretty baby drooling? Does it feel that good on your sensitive ‘lil clit?” He teases, smoothing down your hair as you cry around the ball gag in your mouth; drool seeping out from the side of your lips when he raises the vibrations a setting higher.

You don’t know how many times he’d played with the settings and edged you by now, but all you do know is that the urge to cum only grows stronger as you grind against the machine, soaking it with your wetness as you chase the pleasure building up in your body again.  

Surely cumming was okay, right? He never said you couldn’t.

You whimper around the ball gag, eyes fluttering shut when the tension in your body snaps in the blink of an eye and your thighs clamp down onto the sides of the machine. Throwing your head back, you moan against the gag and ride out your high as Seungcheol watches you from the side.

“Mm, bet that felt good, huh? But I know you want something in that greedy ‘lil cunt of yours, don’t you? You want daddy’s cock slamming into your tight ‘lil hole ‘til it’s full of my cum, right, sweetheart?” He licks his lips, turning off the sybian as you slump forward.

universe_WZ: shit shes so sensitive

chwenon: especially with her arms bound like that i bet she’s on cloud nine rn

gentleman_josh95: her cute lil head is probably all fuzzy already from all the sensations

therealchan99 has donated $100

gc__koo has donated $75

j__min has donated $150

All you can do is whimper and nod; teary eyes blinking back at Seungcheol as he smirks and leans in towards you.

“Mmm, you’ll get what you want eventually. But for now, you’re gonna cum again.”

He turns the sybian back on, licking his lips when he sees your body tensing again. It was always easier to get you to cum a second time and his point is proven when you mewl around the ball gag a few minutes later; chest heaving in stuttered breaths as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit when you’re quickly thrown into another orgasm.

“You always cum for daddy so easily, don’t you, babygirl?”

Your head feels fuzzy after already cumming twice in such a short span of time but you nod, head lolling to the side as Seungcheol finally turns the sybian off for good.

Seungcheol gives you a second to catch your breath before he’s scooting in and fiddling with the clasps at the back of your head to take the ball gag off.

A thread of saliva connects your lips to the gag and you whimper at how good it feels to be able to actually speak again. “D-daddy…” Drool drips from your mouth as your lead lolls forward and Seungcheol is quick to bring a hand up to keep your head up as he looks into your lust filled eyes.

“Colour, sweetheart?”

“Still g-green…” He nods back, checking to make sure none of the ropes had shifted. “Would you like some water before we continue, baby?”

“Yes, daddy…”

He fetches you a glass of water, tilting it against your lips as you down the entire glass and you find yourself a little surprised at how needed it was. “Thank you, d-daddy…”

“You’re welcome, babygirl. Ready to keep going?”

You nod, a little bit more energized. “I hope everyone, mmh, l-likes the show so f-far~” Your teary vision prevents you from reading the comments and before you can even make an effort to, Seungcheol is already helping you off of the machine and helping you sit on the bed across from him.

alphagyu97: ugh she looks so fucking good in that harness

angelhan: right? That shade of red looks so good against her skin too

angelhan: so fuckin pretty

tangerine_kwan: pics for the private room later? Plz i beg

Seungcheol takes this time to take off his boxer briefs, cock curving up against his abdomen when he’s fully naked across from you. He wraps a hand around his cock, moaning and spreading the precum down his shaft as you watch. “D’you want this, baby?”

Your lips fall open in a silent moan as you watch Seungcheol jerk himself off and you can’t help but squirm. “Y-yes…”

“Tell me exactly what you want then. Let them hear what a filthy little slut you are for me.” You can’t help but feel miserably empty watching him and despite having already cum twice, you want his cock fucking you open and making you cum again.

“I--I--”

“Yes, babygirl?”

“I, ngh, I want d-daddy’s cock… Please? Ah, I--I wanna feel you fucking my--my pussy into the, mmh, s-shape of your c-cock… And I w-want you to c-cum inside my--my slutty little h-hole…”

Seungcheol scoffs, hips shallowly thrusting up into his enclosed fist. “That’s right. You’re just my slutty ‘lil babygirl that lets me use all her tight holes how I please, right? You like it when I cum down your throat and in your pretty ‘lil ass. But we all know you like it best when I cum in your hot ‘lil cunt. Makes you feel all warm and full, doesn’t it? You like it when my cum is dripping out of your spent cunt and sliding down your shaky thighs.” This time you nod furiously as you whine back in response.

“P-please… Can’t wait any--anymore!”

This time, the impatience takes over as you slightly tug on the ropes; whining when they don’t give. “Daddy!”

And this time, he gives in quicker than he anticipates, growling as he reaches for the EMT shears to cut you from the harness. “Don’t let your arms down, no matter how much you want to. You’re going to strain your arms if you move too fast so let me handle it, okay, sweetheart?”

The sudden gentleness in his voice has a giddy warmth pouring over you as you nod and sit still while he cuts at various points of the harness to make the ropes fall loose around your arms and chest. You keep your arms in the same position like he requested and you soon feel his hands roaming your skin and massaging your arms to get the blood flowing again.

“You’re so good for me, baby.” He whispers against your hair, leaning down to kiss your shoulder before he slowly easing your arms down from being folded behind your back.

He continues to massage your arms for a few more minutes before it’s you that’s getting impatient. “Daddy… Can you fuck me now?” Whispering, you slightly turn your body to the side to meet his gentle stare.

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, nodding. “Lay on your back for me, legs spread.”

You follow his orders as you quickly scramble to get into position; legs spread wide for him to situate himself between.

“Mm, your pussy is still so fuckin’ wet. I wanna taste you on my tongue, baby.” Whines spill from your lips as you shake your head ‘no.’

“No! My p-pussy feels empty, I need y-your cock, daddy… ‘n I’m so wet, you can probably, ah, just s-slide your cock in…”

He wraps a hand around his cock just as you wrap your legs around his waist and he guides himself until the head of his cock is right at your entrance.

Neither of you say a word as he slowly starts to sink his cock in; guttural moans on his lips when he meets no resistance and bottoms out in a singular thrust. “Holy fuck, your cunt is so fuckin’ wet. Shit, and so t-tight!” You clench around him, already feeling good with his cock inside of you as you beg him to fuck you hard and fast.

“Ngh, p-please fuck me like--like I’m your, hah, c-cocksleeve… I want it f-fast, daddy!”

He grits his teeth at your words; drawing his hips back before snapping them into you just how you wanted. “Fast, hmm? All you think about in that pretty head of yours is my cock pounding you open, huh? Slamming into you so fuckin’ good, it makes your toes curl when you cum.”

Seungcheol starts a quick pace, already feeling the pleasure building up for himself when you’re reduced to garbled noises and broken cries of his name. The heels of your feet dig into the small of his back as you try to press him in closer and he’s quick to reach for the small bullet vibrator left on the bed next to your body.

“Your body is so fuckin’ sensitive, I can already feel how tight you’re getting around me. So fuckin’ greedy to cum too. Already came twice and you still want more. You’re not satisfied until your whole body is shaking underneath me, huh, sweetheart?” He turns the small toy on, pressing it to your clit as you yelp and let out choked sobs.

“Ah, ngh, d-daddy, my--my clit’s t-too sen--sensitive! I--I can’t--!” Squirming, you feel the pressure building up obscenely quick; bottom lip quivering when he takes one of your free hands and makes you hold the toy to your swollen clit.

“Just a little more, sweetheart. Don’t you wanna cum?”

He angles his thrusts to graze against your g-spot and loud cries of his name leave your lips in a hurried, jumbled mess when he only doubles his pace.

The sound of donations and comments pour in like water and get lost within the ringing in your ears; unable to even warn Seungcheol that you’re about to cum when you feel your entire body starting to lock up underneath him.

Your lips part in a silent scream and your back bows off of the bed, thighs shaking uncontrollably as you cum for the third time. Seungcheol growls, fucking you through it as you squirt all over his lower half.  He finds it harder and harder to thrust into you as you cum, but he feels himself quickly following suit with your warm walls fluttering around his cock.

“Fuck, baby, that’s right. Squirt for me, get me fuckin’ soaked while you cum.” He uses a free hand to make sure you keep the toy pressed to your clit, growling when he starts to unload his cum inside of you. “Mmh, gonna fill your cunt up with what you want, baby.”

A shaky moan leaves your lips as you feel him throbbing inside your pussy; walls clamped down onto him in a vice grip as you ride out the remnants of your orgasm.

“Ah, d-daddy’s cumming suh--so much inside of my p-pussy…”

Whining, you feel Seungcheol’s grip on your hand give way as he rides out his pleasure and you take the opportunity to turn off the small bullet vibrator while he doesn’t notice.

You watch his face contort in pleasure, hips still shallowly thrusting into you as his entire body shivers above you.

“D-daddy’s so h-handsome...” You mumble, cheeks hot when he cracks a smile through the pleasure wracking his body and chuckles under his breath. 

“Thank you, babygirl.” 

After you end the show, Seungcheol makes sure to cuddle with you on the bed for a little while longer.

“One more glass of water, baby.” You whine in response, pouting up at him before he gets up from the soaked sheets. 

“But I already had a glass! If you have a piss kink just say so, ‘Cheol!”

He lets out a boisterous laugh at your comment, trudging back to the bed from the kitchen with another glass of water for you. “You need to be hydrated, sweetheart. You came three times and we played a little more rough today. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” 

“Fine, but you didn’t deny my comment.” You snarkily reply, taking the glass from him as you down the water. 

“Don’t make me have to punish you again! I’ll have you know I still need to get you all washed up and change the bed--”

A faint pinging has the two of you turning to the laptop; still on your camming homepage from where you’d checked the revenues from tonight’s show. 

A small [1] sits above your inbox and Seungcheol is quick to turn to you with an eyebrow raised. “I thought you turned off the messaging system on your profile?” 

You tilt your head in confusion, handing him the emptied glass. “I did. The only messages I should get are from, like, the actual system admins or other creator accounts which, I haven’t received any ‘til... now, I guess?”

Seungcheol sets the glass down onto the nightstand before he takes a seat next to you, dragging the laptop closer as you go to check the notification. 

“’Love&Letter Films’? Aren’t they one of the biggest adult film companies?” Mumbling, you click on the message, giving yourself and Seungcheol a second to process the message that stares back at you; a shocked smile on your lips.

‘Hello!

I hope this message finds Cherry and Seungcheol well. 

We, at ‘Love&Letter Films’, have really enjoyed the shows and videos from your channel throughout the years and we really have enjoyed watching the growth of your channel and the addition of Seungcheol to it. The dynamics between the two of you are rare in this industry and we’ve yet to see anyone like the two of you in this market. 

The shows from the last two nights have proven that the two of you have the right kind of chemistry to film together for bigger productions and we would love to hire you for a few film productions we have planned in the upcoming weeks as a feeler. Of course, all expenses paid by us if you would kindly take our offer. 

We love the various scenes and roles that the two of you take on with ease and we would love to help propel your careers forward, should you pursue a career in the adult entertainment industry. 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me as I’ve listed my contact information below. I’m excited to hear from the two of you and hope to work with you in the future on many projects.

Respectfully, 

Kwon Soonyoung, L&L FILMS CEO’

[doorajar]

In the second half of 2021 I watched, in this order:

Handsome Devil

Young Royals

The Shore

Your Name Engraved Herein

Kiss Me Again

2Gether

Dark Blue Kiss

My Gear and Your Gown

Just Friends

Like in the Movies

Gameboys

Meet Me Outside

Monster Pies

Four Moons

Esteros

HIStory 2

HIStory 1

Who Am I?

HIStory 3 Trapped

HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count

Beloved Enemy

My Dream

Nitiman

Would You Be My Love?

Together With Me

A Fish Upon the Sky

Present Perfect

Present Still Perfect

Theory of Love

Our Skyy

The Best Story

Love Mechanics, En of Love

‘Cause You’re My Boy

Still 2Gether

He’s Coming to Me

Wish You

Football Guys

My Best Boyfriend

My Lascivious Boss

Follow My Sunshine

Gay Boylove

Golden Blood

Brother and Me

Addicted Lover

Boyfriend

You Had Me at Hello

Close Friend (1 - 5)

Love While You Can

Pa-Mine Pare

I’ll Be There (For You)

Love Love You

Last Summer

The Curiosity of Chance

Capture Lover

My Friendship

3 Will Be Free

I am Happiness on Earth

Dreams From Strangers

Please Tel Me So

Lovely Writer (1 -5, 10, 12)

Boys’ Lockdown

Out In the Open

Love by Chance

Love by Chance 2

SOTUS the Series

2 Moons

2 Moons 2

Club Friday #5

Love of Siam

Once in Memory:

Love at First Sight

Just Found Love

Until We Meet Again

A First Love Story

Hold Me

7 Project / Once Upon a Time

Where Your Eyes Linger

BxxM

Sky + Ace Story

Gao ShiDe + Zhou Shuyi

Boy, Friend

Y Destiny

Moi Quan He Open

2Wish

Hong Soek + Shi On Story

Mork + Pi Story

Jump the Boy!

Irresistible Love

LGBTQ+ Dramas Gay Clip (YT)

I Fell in Love With My Friend

Better Days

Broken Youth

Eternal Summer

Goodbye Mother

Win Jaime’s Heart

Gray

What is His Secret

Louder Than Words

Motti Bianche

We All Soft-hearted

A Secret Between Two Gays

Happenstance

Jump the Boy / Summertime /

From Now On

The Couple

Pok + Tong Story

Zhao Gang + Su Qi Story

Shinwoo + Taekyung

Birthday Tume

Just Ask Him

Out

My Broken Love Story

Leon + Pob

Phu + Kao Story

Phipha + Tian Story

Requited

Tharn & Type / Their Story

Dean and Pharm

Straight A

The Right Man Because

Book and Frame

Min and Jay

Craving You

Friend or Lover

The Most Beautiful Place is My

Place

Nation’s Brother

You Are Ma Boy

My Strange Friend

Teens Like Phil

Home From the Gym

Irresistible Love

De Vuelta

Teens Realize …

Hidden Away

I Love You When I’m Crazy

Breath

Alone

The Christmas Night

Photograph / My Bromance

Make it Right

Jin Yu Zhen + Shi Lei

Love is Science

Queer Beauty

Don’t Say No

Love With Flaws

The Lover

Once in Memory: Wish Me Luck

So Much in Love

2022:

My Day

The Awakening

Dos Chicos

Rendezvous Avec Diego

High Tide

Robbe + Sander

To You, for Me

Past Youth

Bad Buddy

Addicted

Oxygen the Series

Seo Joon x Ji Woo - I Really Like You

Phu x Kao Story

Miss Truth

He’s Mine

I Told Sunset About You

Last Twilight in Phuket

I Promised You the Moon

Utsukushii Kare

Cherry Magic

Takumi-kun The Rainbow-Colored Glass

SO: IVE REWATCHED FEWER THAN A HALF DOZEN OF THESE TITLES. If you were going to pick five of the series on this list to watch again, which would they be ?

[callmeelle22]

Blue Dream IV

Pairing: Iris West x Barry Alen

Rating: E

Chapter Word Count:

Summary: A series of sporadic dates between Iris and Barry turn into something more, a story in its own making.

Chapter I: Primetime

Chapter II: It's Cool

Chapter III: Anything

Chapter IV: Comfortable; It feels like butterflies fluttering or sparks flying or whatever other cliche Iris could think of. It’s like slow-dancing all alone after dinner in a half-cleaned kitchen, easy and intimate. It feels like warm honey on her tongue, slow and sweet and overwhelming. It’s pillowtalk, baby; lay your head on my pillow, say, "oh-ooh"; way you're touchin' my body, say, "ooh-ooh"; i ain't lovin' nobody but you; you, you, you make me, the kind that starts as whispers in the dark and becomes deep, lazy sex with only the moon there to light the way. (Read below or on AO3 linked on the chapter title.)

Chapter V: The Way

Chapter VI: Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Chapter VII: I'm in Love with You

Chapter VIII: Blue Dream

Comfortable

Set the tone, when it's just me

And you alone, never lonely

In the room, breathin' slowly

Oh, you know me, yeah

At a quarter to one on the next Sunday afternoon, Iris finds herself sitting in her living room, waiting for Barry. Her week has been a relatively good one. She thinks they might be over the hurdle of a new semester—learning the personalities of each other—and Dr. Jamison had been on top of her own game, which meant Iris had been able to as well. She’d spent her Friday night watching Bridgerton, well, as much as the hazy cloud of blue diesel had allowed her to, and on Saturday, she’d spent several hours at Jitters typing up a new story for What a Life You’ve Lived. This story had featured an older woman who, years before Loving v. Virginia had made her marriage legal, had lived in relative obscurity with her white husband, dating and laughing and loving in secret.

Yeah, she’d shaken her head at that too.

She doesn’t know where they’re going today, so she’s dressed in a casual emerald green wrap dress, with a deep v-neck and long sleeves, that hems just at her knees. She opts for flat sandals just in case. His number is still unused, though she’s taken the steps to lock it into her phone. She can’t tell why she doesn’t call him, can’t make out why she’s, apparently, too afraid to just reach out to the man. She doesn’t know what they’re doing, outside of this date, or what his goal is. Linda would definitely describe her as being too chickenshit to find out. She obviously doesn’t disagree.

She’s decided that it’s casual, because aren’t most situations these days casual? And it makes more sense than the thought that lives in her head; the alternative doesn’t fit as neatly in her mind. The alternative is, is a little chaotic because that would add layers to the way he grins at her, and to the way he oscillates between awkward and bold when he talks to her, and to the way that she can never completely get the feel and taste of him out of her mouth. The sensation makes her think of runny ice cream, sweet and sticky and dripping, so much so that before she knows it, her hands and her face and her heart are all covered in it.

The doorbell rings.

Iris jumps up to answer the door and he’s standing there, in black jeans and a gray t-shirt, and she’s always struck by how good he looks in such casual outfits. His hands are stuffed down into his pockets and a grin is etched onto his face. He leans into the door when it opens, shoulder on the frame.

“Hi, beautiful.”

The compliment is unexpected and she turns away to grab her bag, to hide the blush that warms her cheeks, even if he wouldn’t be able to see it on her skin.

“You ready?” he asks.

She nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They are about fifteen minutes away from Lake Lanier when Iris realizes that’s where they’re going. The ride is pleasant. They don’t talk much outside of a few sentences regarding how their weeks were. Instead, they listen to some rock music Iris has never heard before and Iris alternates between staring at the road and staring at the intricate flowers tattooed on his arm. She recognizes some of them, roses and chrysanthemums and sunflowers, but there are far more that she doesn’t, especially when she remembers that the bouquet goes all the way up and over his shoulder. She decides she’ll ask him about it later.

The trail for the lake comes into view and Barry turns his Jeep onto a barely paved road, his pale fingers caressing the wheel as he expertly maneuvers the vehicle. He drives past where Iris and Linda and their classmates spent countless summer afternoons, past the trail that leads to where her dad had taken her and Wally camping when, at 12, Wally had realized that he was the only of his friends who’d never been.

They come to a stop, moments after Iris wonders if this might be where bodies get hidden, next to a towering oak tree. They’d lost the trail about a mile back and Barry’s four-wheel-drive was a match for whatever grass and rock and mud they rolled over.

Iris steps out of the Jeep and looks around, momentarily in awe. Out this far, the lake looks serene in a way she’s never seen before. It’s quiet, but it isn’t. Even in a midsize city like Central City, there is always something happening; there is always lights and noise and music. Here, the sound of nature takes the stage: the clicking buzz of cicadas and the chirping songs of birds and the gentle wave of the lake. The look of it is surreal, the pale blue of the water and the vibrant dark green of the trees, those slowly giving way to the oranges and reds of fall.

“Wow,” Iris murmurs.

“It’s great, right?” Barry says.

She turns and finds him with his trunk open. She walks around back to see him gathering picnic supplies, a woven picnic basket, a thick red gingham picnic blanket, and a cooler. There’s also another blanket to stem the feel of the wind so close to the lake. She grabs the picnic basket as he handles everything else and she follows him as they set up a few feet away from the bank, on a soft patch of grass to cushion them.

“I wasn’t expecting a picnic,” Iris tells Barry as she settles on the blanket, taking off her shoes and setting them on the edge.

“No?” He grins over at her before resuming his task. He’s unpacking the basket, pulling out saran-wrapped sandwiches, containers of fruit and vegetables with dip, and ziplock bags full of popcorn. A look in the cooler shows her some waters, several beers, and an equal number of mini wine bottles.

“Where’d you think I was taking you?” he wonders.

“I don’t know,” she says. “Like a movie or something.”

He grins, this time slower; and it shouldn’t, but it makes Iris think of the last time she’d seen him, slow and heated on her living room couch.

“That can be our next date,” he says.

“Who says you’re getting another date?”

He looks up at her and it’s the same one he’d given her when he asked her why she didn’t call, the expression a touch calculating. His head is tilted and his eyes are darting all over her face. She wants to turn her head, turn away from his gaze, but she can’t. Because she thinks that she’s hoping he does find what he’s looking for her, that he can help her to find it too.

“You didn’t say that we were going on another date” he says, finally. “But I have fun when we're together, Iris, and I, I think that you do too."

He goes back to pulling items out of the basket, this time a container full of cookies, and Iris starts grappling with whether or not she can take what he says at face value. It’s a flaw, she knows, the doubt that seems to come far too automatically. She wishes that she could blame it on something tangible—on parents who hadn’t been there or boyfriends who’d lied or friends who didn’t have her best interests at heart. That isn’t the case, though. Her mom had been there as much as she could and she had never had enough boyfriends for it to really make a dent. Linda has never even thought about doing her wrong, and her family might be the very best part of her.

But everything in her body catches at the thought of this man being someone she likes, someone she adds to the rotation of people in her life, people who’ve only become occasional brunches and too quick phone calls. What would it feel like for this man—and his smile and his touch and the way that she feels like she knows him when she doesn’t—to become a part of that rotation, until the discomfort of the entire situation makes him taper off altogether?

“Iris?”

She blinks out of her daze at the sound of Barry’s voice, looking down to see him holding out two bottles in front of her, one a lager from a local brewery, the other a chilled bottle of Chardonnay.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Yes,” she answers him quickly. “Just thinking.”

“About me?” he asks, his grin wide, cheeks faintly pink, and the look of him is so adorable that Iris shakes her head as she grabs the wine from him, failing to curb the smile that lifts the corner of her mouth, failing to keep the thoughts, the whenever i get around you, i lose it; lose it, from seeping in.

“Let’s play twenty questions.”

Iris is halfway into her mini-wine bottle when Barry voices the suggestion. For the time being, they’ve been merely sitting, drinking, basking in the day. The weather is gorgeous and Iris likes that the only thing to distract her is the constant tweeting of the birds, or the soft splashes of the fish in the lake, or the steady sound of Barry’s breathing.

“Okay,” Iris agrees, “but twenty is a lot.”

“Ten, then?” he hurries to say. “Five each?”

He shifts on the blanket so that he’s lying down on his side facing her, head propped in his hand. Her own back is propped against the tree, her legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle.

“You first.”

“Alright.” He pauses, looks up towards the sky as if he’s thinking, and then asks, “What’s your favorite book?”

She is surprised by the question, though she isn’t sure what she thought he might ask.

“I’ve got a lot of favorites,” she says, because it’s true. Books, stories, became an escape early on, from a home that had been too fragile, that had felt like it’d come crumbling down with only a mere gust of wind. “But one that still sits with me is Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. I read it for the first time in high school.”

He smiles at her. “Tell me about it.”

“It’s about a woman named Janie, who was raised by her grandmother who’d been enslaved. Janie’s a romantic; she wants freedom and love. But her grandmother wants her to have security. She’s got a series of suitors: an old man who treats her like the help, essentially; a man who becomes mayor of this all-black town, who only props her up as this thing, this ornament that must look and act like he wants her to; and Tea Cake, a younger man who’s passionate and selfish and possessive. And in all of it, Janie is discovering herself, exploring what she does and doesn’t want. She steps up and she fights back and she learns to dismiss what others have to say about here.”

Barry hums. “She reminds me of you,” he says, “this Janie woman.”

He catches her gaze, holds it. Iris catches the way his eyes track the features of her face. She can never find it in her to shrink away, almost like she’s beholden to the force of him.

“Why?”

“She seems passionate; fanciful. Alluring.”

She’s never wanted to blush as much as she does around him and her face feels warm, tight. She swallows from her wine bottle, still looking at him.

“You are,” she starts, and then shakes her head.

“I am…?” he urges, mouth grinning, eyes wide with mirth. He reaches out and grabs at her ankle, fingers grazing her skin. Her skin tingles beneath his fingers, a slow rush of heat flooding through her. Apparently, Barry has discovered a new erogenous zone.

“Something else,” she answers, finally.

“Somehow I don’t think that’s what you meant.”

She looks out at the lake for a brief moment. “It’s not, but I haven’t figured out what I do mean yet.”

He’s silent for a beat. “Okay. Your turn,” he says and Iris is grateful for the reprieve.

“What’s a country you’ve never been to that you’d like to visit?”

A wistful smile curves his pretty mouth. “That’s easy. Ireland.”

“Yeah?” she asks softly.

“It’s where my mom's family is from,” he continues, touching at her ankle even as he looks away from her. She wonders if he realizes he’s even doing it, tracing along her ankle and then up the length of her calf and back down again.

“My mom was born here in Central City,” he explains, “but her parents were born and raised in Ireland, moving here when they were a couple of months pregnant with her.” She knows she doesn’t mistake the melancholy in his voice. “We’d been planning for a trip after I graduated high school. Since dad was gone, it wasn’t as easy to save up for a long summer trip like that, but we were working on it, before she was killed. I’m still working on it.”

He gives her another smile, this one tinged with hope, and the urge to comfort him is strong. But she knows that there is no real comfort for missing a mother, so instead, she moves from her spot against the tree. The movement confuses Barry, who has to move his hand away from her ankle, but his frown clears when she lies beside him, her head on his shoulder.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy,” she tells him. “My best friend Linda’s parents live in a large immigrant community. People from all over live there. It was like heaven for me when I really started getting into writing; so many stories. Obviously, not everyone wanted to tell their business to a 15-year-old, but Mrs. Bianco had no qualms about it.

“Mrs. Bianco has three sons, relatively the same age as me and Linda, one right after the other, but no daughters. So for much of high school, we were her surrogates. My dad worked a lot and so did Linda’s parents, getting their restaurant off the ground. So we’d go over to Mrs. Bianco’s after school to do homework and she’d feed us all these baked goods, cannolis and these things called bombolinis, which are like doughnuts but better. And she’d tell us all these stories about growing up in the Italian countryside and going to college and meeting her husband before they came here, the excitement of it all. She made it sound so beautiful.”

Barry reaches over and touches her, long fingers touching lightly at her arm before they wrap around her wrist. He rubs at the skin on the inside of her wrist. The move feels like a deliberate way for Barry to maintain contact, but also like more. Like the last time he’d come to her apartment, and she’d felt the touch to her ankles at the very core of her, she feels so now. It’s subtle, but it’s there, in the slight clench of her belly, in the low throb of her pussy. It’s been a long time since she’s been with anyone like this — cause I feel so comfortable with you; you make me comfortable with you—easily aroused and just as easily comforted. Her last relationship had been with a man named Eddie, a graduate student she had met early in her senior year of undergrad. He had been sweet, but they had both been so busy all the time that they had felt like work too. With Barry, there’s the newness that comes with a relationship, the giddiness at talking to him, being near him. But this seems like something else, something greater, something that tells of why she can’t stop thinking about this man.

“Why did you invite me over,” Barry asks, “that Friday night?”

She exhales shakily, a little unnerved by him. “Well, you asked me to dance?”

“You invited me over because I asked you to dance?” His tone is incredulous and she laughs.

“No, I mean. It’s the club. People just dance, right? And here you come, rocking those hips unlike any white boy I’ve seen, and then you walk up and ask me if you could dance with me. I thought it was polite.”

Barry rolls over so that he’s long against her side. He moves his hand from her wrist to press on her belly, rubbing his thumb lightly. He plants his mouth right next to her ear. “If you think I’m polite, I’m doing something wrong.”

She catches his eyes. “I don’t know,” she says, smirking at him. “Maybe you are. Maybe you need to work on that.”

She lets the taunt hang, for just a moment, and then she rolls over to kiss him. She licks at his mouth, turning the kiss more passionate in seconds. Their positions change, Barry rolling her onto her back.

“I think I can make you beg,” Barry whispers against her mouth. “I was always told that was impolite.”

Iris doesn’t get a chance to say much else because suddenly, Barry is between her legs, his head dipping down under her dress.

“Barry what?”

As is his annoying habit, he doesn’t respond to her right away. He pushes her dress higher, exposing her belly and the bright yellow lace of her panties. She inhales sharply at the feel of his breath on her belly before he plants a kiss there.

“Ask for it.”

She catches onto his game immediately and her eyes flash. “No.”

His answer is a grin and then, without much preamble, he dips his tongue into her belly button. The action makes her hips raise automatically, and he brings her back down by gripping her hips. He continues down, tongue laving at her skin, fingers running up her torso and down again until they hook in the top of her panties and he starts to pull them down.

Iris can’t describe what it is she’s feeling at the moment. He’s only just touched her, only just planted a few sloppy kisses on her stomach. But her skin is tight with anticipation, her breathing deeper as she waits to see what he’ll do. She wonders, rather absently, if they’re currently being watched by any of the animals she hears living out here by the lake; but then Barry widens her legs and opens her up with the tips of his index and middle finger and she stops thinking altogether.

He holds her open for a long moment, just looking, just breathing against her, and she tries to hold still until she can’t, wiggling her hips a little, hoping it makes a finger slip inside of her.

“Barry…”

“You’re ready to ask for it?”

He drags his gaze away from her sex in order to meet her eyes. They’re the glassy that lets her know that he isn’t as unaffected as he’s pretending to be. That momentarily strengthens her resolve, knowing that maybe he really does feel like this too, that she’s not the only one losing her head in this sexual haze that seems to be moving way too fast and way past normal.

She shakes her head at him.

“No?” he questions. “Not even if I do this?”

Fingers still holding her, he licks her, a long swipe of his tongue. She inhales again at the feel of his wet tongue, lets it go in a noisy exhale when he does it again. And then again and then again, and Iris starts to rock against him, trying to get more of his tongue or his fingers or something. She quivers above him, her thighs opening and closing, and she feels like a butterfly, fluttering and alight, hovering over a precipice.

“Shit, ” she moans.

And then, he stops. He fucking stops.

“Barry…”

“Or this?” he continues, and pushes his fingers in. It’s harder than she likes, more like a stab, and she jerks her hips.

“Softer,” she tells him, and he obliges, moving slower, caressing instead of fucking into her. “ Yes, like that.”

Barry hums around her. The vibration makes her hips rock up, and he circles her clit with the tip of his tongue, sucking on it. He looks up at her again. This is the face she wants to remember for the rest of her days: his dazed eyes, his flushed cheeks, his wet mouth.

“Ask me for what you want, Iris,” Barry licks his lips. “Beg me, baby, please.”

Her heart is pounding and she wonders how a game of question and answer got her here. But they are here, she’s here, quivering with the need to come, with the fact that Barry looking up at her like this, begging her like this, makes her feel more desirable than she’s ever known she could.

“Can you eat me, Barry? Please? ”

Iris has never seen a dirtier smile. “With pleasure.”

He really starts to eat her, then. He kisses at her lips, tongues her down in a sloppy, wet tongue kiss that makes her cream drip out of her, drip down her thighs. She rocks against him, closing her knees around his head when the touch of his tongue to her clit gets to be too much, opening herself wider when wants his tongue back in her, licking and tasting and fucking her. Needing something to do with her hands, she grabs at his hair, pulling at the strands, scratching at scalp, at the back of his neck. That is how she comes, she doesn’t know how much later. But it’s like that: with Barry holding on to her hips, face buried in her slick; with her knees opening and closing, with her hips bucking, with her begging him, “please, Barry, fuck, yes, please, Barry. ”

It takes her a while to come down and when she does, she says the first thing that she can think of. “God, you’re so goddamn annoying.”

Barry bursts out laughing into her stomach, arms wrapped around her.

“What is something that you want out of a relationship?”

They’re sitting up and eating now, Iris several feet away from him so she’s not tempted to wrap her thighs around his face again. She’s chosen the turkey sandwich on wheat bread and a handful of grapes. The sandwich is really good and Barry must think so of his own handiwork because he’s already done with one and unwrapping another. Although, Iris thinks, he likely did work up an appetite.

She can’t say what makes her throw out the question. The skepticism of starting something with him is still there, but laughing after sex like that, coming from sex like that, well. Iris can name that she might be a little whipped by this smooth-talking, world-class fucking white boy.

He chews a bite of his sandwich and swallows before he turns to her with an answer.

“I’m a simple guy, I think. I work a lot; crimes wait for no one so I would want someone who understands that. But in my time off, I like to do things like this, and festivals and running too, so someone who likes that too.” He wipes at his mouth with a crumpled napkin. “But out of a relationship in general, I guess I want companionship, laughing. Communication and patience. Fidelity.” He shoots her a grin. “Good sex.”

Iris rolls her eyes, but she returns the smile. “Did you have that in your last relationship?”

“Ah,” he interrupts, “it’s my turn for a question, Iris.”

She throws her own balled up napkin at him. “Fine. Shoot.”

“What do you look for in a relationship?”

She shoots him a glare.

“What?” he laughs. “It was a good question and I want to know.”

“Okay. Um,” she takes a swig from her newly opened wine. “Whew. I don’t know that I’ve thought about this in a while.” She bites at her bottom lip and lets out a long breath. “A lot of the same things you said, I think. I do love laughing, even if I can get lost in my own head angst sometimes and I’d like someone who realizes that. I’m pretty busy, between school and work and What a Life You’ve Lived, but I make time for the people I want to make time for and I would wish my partner would do the same. Fidelity is also important to me too; communication. I love music and dancing and movies so someone who’d want to do those things with me.”

Barry wriggles his eyebrows. “Good sex?”

“A plus, for sure,” she agrees.

That gets her to thinking about another question she has, one she’s more hesitant to voice. She could get an answer she likes, one that keeps the mood they’ve got going here. And the vibe right now is so good. She can’t remember a date like this, one so simple. Eddie had been courting careers in law and so much of their time together had been spent out at fancy dinners while he’d tried to smooze whoever he needed to that week. It’d been fun sometimes, to see what stories she could get out of the politicians and law officers, but that’s not a date, at least it wasn't to her. During undergrad, dates meant studying together in the corner of a library until one or both of them got the urge to make out behind a shelf of books. And high school shouldn’t even really count. But here, today, this feels like a date. It feels like butterflies fluttering or sparks flying or whatever other cliche Iris could think of. It’s like slow-dancing all alone after dinner in a half-cleaned kitchen, easy and intimate. It feels like warm honey on her tongue, slow and sweet and overwhelming. It’s pillow talk, baby; lay your head on my pillow, say, "oh-ooh"; way you're touchin' my body, say, "ooh-ooh"; i ain't lovin' nobody but you; you, you, you make me, the kind that starts as whispers in the dark and becomes deep, lazy sex with only the moon there to light the way.

But she steels herself and risks asking anyway. “Barry, do you, uh, have a lot of sex, then? A lot of one-night stands?”

Barry’s eyes are wide when he looks at her. He’d been cleaning up their trash, putting napkins and wrappers and empty bottles in a small grocery bag and the question makes him look up sharply. It makes her want to retreat, but she’s already put it out there and she’s extremely curious if she happens to just be one in a line of girls that this surprisingly suave man has beguiled with easy laughs and mind-blowing sex.

“I'm asking because you are, you’re good,” she mumbles, (but, understatement), “and of course, you don’t have to answer me but I just… I'm wondering if…”

She trails off when he stops what he’s doing and crawls over to her. He hovers, making her lean back a little in order to see all of his face. It’s a pretty face, the dark eyebrows over those eyes, the lips that she knows get even pinker when they’re dripping with her juices, the faint moles along his cheeks and jaw that doesn’t detract.

“There are no other girls, Iris,” he tells her, and he seems so sincere as he looks straight into her eyes, as he places a hand on the side of her so she’s clouded in the clean, citrusy smell of him. “I know that we’re just hanging out and obviously, you do what you want, but no, I… I’m a one woman kinda guy. Going home with you was an anomaly, one I certainly don’t regret. But it’s not a thing I do. I haven’t been with anyone else since my last relationship months ago.”

She stares at him, hoping that she can believe him. “Alright.”

“Okay?”

She nods again, this time with a little smile. “Yeah, okay.”

Neither of them asks their final two questions. Barry says that it’ll give them something to talk about when he sees her again. Iris just thinks that today’s been a whirlwind of a day and it’d be nice not to be on the spot anymore. The ride back to town is just as easy as the ride down. Easy listening plays from the radio—'cause I feel so comfortable with you; you make me comfortable with you; i feel so comfortable with you; you make me comfortable with you; you make me—and Iris settles into her seat for the half-hour drive, full and sated and comfortable. She must doze off because before she knows it, Barry is pulling into the parking space next to her Kia and he’s opening the door for her.

“Come on, sleepyhead,” he says, smiling down at her as he grabs her hand to pull her out of the seat.

“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you.” She stumbles a little as she follows him up the stairs and he grips her hand tighter.

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells her. “I take pride in the fact that I’ve put you to sleep every night we’ve been together.”

She doesn’t even pause as she yanks her hand away and slides past him to her door. “You’re such a dick.”

Barry chuckles, sidling up behind her as she sticks her key into the lock. He gives her a soft kiss on the skin between her neck and shoulder.

“I thought you said I was polite,” he breathes, before nipping at her skin. She closes her eyes at the feel of his mouth on her, the light nips of his teeth, the slick glide of his tongue behind it. He pulls up all the way behind her and wraps both of his arms around her waist.

“You are,” she moans when one of his hands glides down and settles hard over her crotch. “Even when you’re telling me to beg, you say please.”

He licks a longer stripe across her skin, pulls a larger patch into his mouth, cups her pussy in the palm of his hand.

“Barry…”

“But you called me a dick, Iris. Am I polite or a dick?”

She arches into him. “You’re a polite dick.”

He stills against her and it takes a moment for Iris to realize that he’s laughing again. He’s got such a nice laugh, deep and bright. “Damn, Iris.” He turns her around, still with a wide grin on his face. He leans down and kisses her, pecks her lips once, and then twice, and then a longer one that curls her fingers around his neck. He doesn’t immediately let go when he pulls back.

“I want to ask one of my last questions.”

She licks her lips, chasing the taste of him. “Okay.”

“Am I in the running?” He asks the question clearly, though in a voice just above a whisper. “Am I someone that you could want to be..”

She doesn’t need him to finish the sentence to say what she’s feeling, even if she’s terrified of what it might eventually mean for her. “I really think that you might be.”

“It’s a might I’ll take.” He nods at her door. “Good night, beautiful.”

She turns to go into the apartment. “Good night, Barry.”

The door is almost closed when he calls back. “Hey, Iris?”

“Yeah?”

“Call me this time.”

You make me

Baby

You make me

You make me

[ayellowcurtain]

I have a Mayla prompt for you that I would love to read: 5 times they get interrupted/ caught while kissing/making out/etc. + 1 time they make sure no one will interrupt them ☺️ /// Mayla prompt for you... something along the lines of 5 kisses + 1. You get to decide the rest /// Since I’ve seen that people are still a bit confused as to what happened in that clip, could you do a rewrite of samedi 04:12 ‘tellement belle’? /// Could you write something about mayla being at the supermarket in which Maya works and maybe getting recognized by a customer as the two girls who kissed on the cash thingy? /// Could you maybe write something with daphne basile and lola bonus points if they talk about maya /// Could you write something about mayla and what they did after the end of yesterday’s clip?

-

Lola is tired and grumpy, she just wants a moment alone with her girlfriend without being interrupted. Maybe not just a moment, a whole night would be better. Tomorrow she’s going back to the hospital and they won’t see each other for a while.

As she whines to herself and to Maya through text, Lola thinks about their relationship and on how many times she wanted to be near Maya, but something got in between them.

I

Lola wants to help her sister in every way she can. She wants to listen to Daphné and let her know, show her that Lola will always be there for everything, the good, the bad and the horrible.

While she waits for Daphné to come back with their popcorn to watch a movie, Lola grabs her phone and texts Maya.

I want to kiss you...

She feels stupid instantly, almost regretting sending the message, but it’s too late, the blue check mark and the three dots blinking are a very clear signs that Maya already saw her message and she can’t pretend she didn’t say it.

to Lola: you do?

And Lola lets herself sink even lower and deeper on the couch, knowing very well how Maya is probably smiling right now, loving to see needy Lola make an appearance.

to Maya: yes, Maya

“Is that Maya?” Lola almost forgot Baz was coming to watch the movie too, she didn’t even hear the door being opened, too worried about looking like a fool to her girlfriend. She only has time to put her phone against her chest so nobody can see what she was texting.

“Yes...? Were you invited to come in or you just got inside without a warning?”

She teases him and Daphné laughs, shaking her head and pushing him with her hips to sit closer to Lola so she can also sit on the couch.

“How is she? How are you two?” He lifts his eyebrows, with his big, innocent eyes and Lola sighs, looking at the tv.

“Why do you date such a stalker? You had no other option available?”

“Yann is Emma’s ex, Arthur was with Alexia and Lucas is gay. No, Baz was the only one left.” Her sister explains and they both laugh, Baz looking from one to the other.

“You had Charles and you chose me.” Baz gives the option and Lola rolls her eyes. Daphné deserves the world, Charles is not the guy for her or for anyone, but she won’t argue with Daphné’s friends over it.

“There was no choice to be made then. Charles is not an option. Me and Maya are good, she’s out with some friends from work and I didn’t feel like going out.”

“Is she coming to sleep here tonight? I brought some earplugs for me and Daphy, just in case...”

Lola looks at him, frowning, but for one second also terrified that they ever heard whatever she and Maya do late at night. Daphné’s head pops from the other side of Baz.

“We don’t hear anything, he snorts too loudly, don’t worry.”

II - III - IV

Lola smiles to herself, watching Maya help the last few costumers while she waits near the exit where she waited months ago to lie to Maya’s face, saying they could be just friends.

There’s no way they could ever be friends and not lovers. Both Lola and Maya know that now, but they were good at pretending back then. And Lola also remembers how sore her knee was for weeks after making out with Maya where she’s sitting right now, smiling to Lola, clearly anxious to meet her.

Maya held her hand on the bus stop that night and Lola wanted to kiss her, but again, Maya didn’t let her. There were some people there and Maya wasn’t as carefree as Lola is so they had to wait until they were inside Maya’s place.

“You’re not a fan of kissing in public, huh...” Lola said to Maya that night, sitting on her couch, with no pants on, while Maya was putting some medication to help her bruised knee.

“No. I prefer in the privacy of my house or yours...”

“Or a fancy hotel...” Lola wiggled her brows and Maya looked at her, kissing just her knee.

“Or a fancy hotel, yeah...”

Lola is sure she looks dumb now, busy reliving their messy past. Maya is taking her vest off and grabbing her things and a guy that was leaving stops in front of Lola, smiling. She doesn’t know him, but he seems excited to talk to her.

“So you’re the romantic girlfriend....”

“Huh?”

“I just talked to your girlfriend. Maya? I think that’s her name...Anyway, I was here when you made that rom-com scene. I even told my husband about it, he’s romantic like you, was so upset that he wasn’t here to see it in person...”

Lola doesn’t know what to do or say and so she laughs and the guy walks away telling her to never stop being romantic. If he only knew.

Maya finally walks to her and Lola was about to kiss her, but she stops in the middle, kissing her cheek instead.

“You met Jean...”

“I think so. You know him?”

“He comes here every few days, he was telling me about how excited his husband was about our romantic encounter that day...”

“He told me about it...He thinks I’m romantic.”

“It’s because he doesn’t know I’m the one to give flowers and chocolate.”

V

Lola looks at Maya, still panting lying next to Lola, looking at Lola with hazy eyes, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead.

She’s a little afraid to scare Maya away again with her hunger, but Lola wants to start all over again, to kiss every inch of Maya’s body this time. When she rolls to lie on top of her, Maya deflects from her kiss.

“What?” she asks and Maya smiles, not really meeting her eyes, busy putting her hair behind her ear, looking at Lola so fondly it makes her uncomfortable.

“I need a shower and to brush my teeth.”

“What? You don’t need a shower right now...we can take one in a little bit...”

“Lola...” Maya raises her eyebrows and Lola knows what she means.

“What, Maya? I’m sure I don’t taste that bad.”

Maya laughs loudly and Lola can’t help but smile, Maya’s laughter is so loud and contagious and perfect.

“Come. Take a shower with me then.”

Lola sighs as Maya snakes out of bed, offering her hand to Lola, still very much lying where Maya left her.

“We’ll end the hot water of your building.”

“I won’t mind.” Maya winks and Lola sighs, holding her hand and getting up, kissing her neck.

+

Maya smiles because her girlfriend is so pretty. Lola is happy tonight, she feels and looks at ease and that makes Maya a little more comfortable with the idea of letting herself go to that stupid hospital.

Maya miss Lola like she can’t even express it and it’s probably for the better. She doesn’t want to put more pressure inside her head, Lola needs time and not more worries to think about while sitting there alone, trying to get better. Whatever Maya is feeling doesn’t matter right now.

But soon they won’t have this much privacy and Maya regrets all the times she said no to a kiss from Lola. All she wants right now is to kiss Lola until their lips get sore.

She tried to drag Lola out of their friend-family dinner that Daphné planned for Lola, but of course, her girlfriend took advantage of the only time she could say no to Maya and she made her wait.

For hours.

Now it’s late, but they still have time until the morning. Maya holds Lola’s hand, walking back until she hits her door, putting one arm around Lola’s neck.

“So now you want to kiss me...”

“I always want to kiss you. Don’t be a brat.”

Lola smiles like she means it and Maya falls even deeper in love.

“I’ll miss you.”

“It’s just for a little. Don’t start crying now...” Lola finally comes close enough, brushing her nose against Maya’s, but her eyes are a little sadder too.

“I’ll try not to.” Maya opens the door behind her, crashing her lips against Lola’s, dragging her inside.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

April 12: Rocky III

(previous notes: Rocky II)

Because now that Rocky has done the unthinkable and become The Champ, we want to see him tackle the next challenge… win AGAIN.

I remember seeing this in the theater with my buddy. I don't know if I liked it. I'm pretty sure I found Mr. T to be as charismatic and as terrifying as they wanted. I'm pretty sure when I bought the ticket I hesitated and asked the cashier, "hey, wait, we get to see him do some variation on the triumphant steps jogging moment, right? Otherwise never mind I'll go see Poltergeist again". If I'm paying good money for boxing sequels, I want to be assured that the formula has not been altered.

Okay let's go.

Once again, this is Un Film De Sylvester Stallone.

Slight variation on the fanfare with the title, now there's a close-up of the Important Belt Buckle Of Punchsport.

Then we see the climax of the previous movie, maybe edited slightly for time. But not very noticeably different.

That segues immediately to a montage of Rocky doing many successful beatup games, scored by the enormous pop hit "Eye of the Tiger". I suspect this isn't the last we'll hear of this number.

The montage morphs into a different story, one starring Mr. T! He's watching Rocky win stuff and he is not pleased. He can also fist-game, it seems. But the montage makes it clear that it is our hero Rocky who is the star of commercial endorsements and marriage love.

I mock but this visionary filmmaker has indeed opened this movie with energetically cinematic choices.

0:8:40 - Arcade games! Paulie goes to an arcade and it is like the arcades I went to when this movie was out and I see games that I played! But Paulie doesn't like the Rocky pinball machine. It seems he is a sore brother-in-law.

Rocky is now very dashing. Paulie is drunk and whiny about how Rocky is such a big shot now, but he has a point about how prettied up he has become.

Later that night Rocky and Adrian are in their bed and it has a rich person headboard. The director, also visibly present in front of the camera, clearly instructed the production designer to create a bed that would reflect the elite level of financial flexibility that the protagonist has reached.

So apparently Rocky has gotten himself into the strange situation where he has to do a charity boxing match against a wrestler played by the increasingly famous Hulk Hogan. I had forgotten that Hulk Hogan is in this movie. Mr. T is watching this match and he looks intensely the same way he only ever does.

Whoa Hulk Hogan is way taller than Sylvester Stallone. Is that allowed? The rules have changed! And this whole thing is not boxing it is wrestling and it is that silliness instead of boxing. This is a long scene that is the same as a typical Wrestlemania thing, all manufactured drama made to seem like fighting and true menace, but at the end we see that they are just professional coworkers and we have all learned a valuable lesson haven't we.

At a statue-unveiling, Rocky announces that he is maybe retiring. MAYBE. But then Mr. T shows up talking smack, and ladies and gentlemen we have ourselves an end-of-Act-One.

As Act Two begins, we have a scene that was an A+ homework assignment for the screenwriting teacher of Rocky III's screenwriter, who you will recall is the craftsman Sylvester Stallone. Burgess Meredith is like "I quit! I won't help you with this fight! Mr. T is too hard to beat!" But then they talk it out to advance past that scripted complication. And now Rocky and Mr. T are training for their fight in their separate worlds.

Speaking of worlds, in the World Of Rocky, the famous theme that was introduced in the score of the first movie is actually known to the characters in this movie as Rocky music. They play it for him publicly to celebrate their pride in his violence accomplishments.

Apollo Creed appears to be retired, but he is a commentator at this Rocky/T fight.

0:40:00 - They're about to do the fight, but Mr. T is so The Way He Is that the wants to fight on the way TO the fight. That results in some tumult that makes BM have health problems. It was vague what happened, it seemed like BM was shoved aside by all the mad/scared/fighting people, so then he has a conversation with Rocky in a back room where he's like, don't stop the fight even though I am suddenly vaguely frail. He sort of clutches his chest like maybe there's a heart attack but just one of those everyday ones. I have those every time I click send on a work email. My friends should not be discouraged from championship fisticuffs when that happens.

This is the first Rocky movie to be made after Raging Bull came out, and I detect some influence in the boxing footage, like with close-ups of Mr. T.

Rocky loses that fight pretty quickly, and maybe the problem is that he didn't do a pre-victory steps jog. But the movie is telling us that BM is dying on a table in the back room and that's the real problem.

BM dies and SS has done some pretty ambitious cry-acting. Then the funeral is in one of those indoor above-ground file-cabinet-style cemeteries, which is not the normal cinematic choice so nice job there.

I can already tell that we're going to have another thirty minutes of a bummed-out Rocky to fill out Act Two before it starts to look like the setup for a fulfilling climax can begin. It's what I would have told him to write if he were my student at the third-rate community college where I'm a part-time screenwriting teacher in this scenario.

Apollo Creed has shown up to try to pep-talk Rocky, and he keeps saying "eye of the tiger" because of marketing departments. But also, he is a more mature person than in the first two movies. Even though it's a character shift, I do kind of buy it. It seems like another side of the character we knew slightly.

0:59:00 - Another scene beginning with dialogue that sounds like it was improvised by people who don't know what real life is like. "Come on you're going to be late to the airport!" "Maybe you should have packed another sweater" "no in California it's not too cold". AHA THEY ARE GOING ON A TRIP TO CALIFORNIA I AM ON TO YOU ROCKY III

When they go to Los Angeles and show us people on the street and the people have been told to look and act super different so that the audience will be like, wow California is different, then, well, we are at this part of Rocky III did you know.

Although there was my earlier expectation that we were going to have a prolonged funereal story arc, but what's happened is that Apollo is invested in training Rocky so they're showing us that side of Apollo, and that's interesting. But also it's the template of "Rocky is training and he doesn't look like he's going to get there, but then inspiration will hit and he will look like he is going to get there". S. Stallone, noted filmmaker, is using montages and flashbacks to show how recent bad news moments for Rocky are haunting him. It is working.

Adrian performs a pep talk monologue for Rocky. I don't understand her point. It's like a box of those refrigerator poetry magnets jumbled up together and spoken as movie script lines. I guess the gist is "don't give up" and he starts to think maybe he shouldn't give up. Then it's a new training montage, and it's got the classic "running far now" Rocky theme so we know it's going well. The twist on the classic cheering-atop-stairs cadence is it's Rocky and Apollo on the beach, and Rocky is a little faster than Apollo and that is great news for them both.

Now we're right before the final fight, and we heard Mr. T tell a reporter that he "pity the fool". I didn't hear the rest of what he said, I was just so happy to hear him say "pity the fool".

Oh but shortly after that he is asked what his prediction is, and he looks at the camera, OUR camera, at US, and says "PAIN". Submitted without comment.

That face-to-face moment right before the fight starts, Mr. T says "imma bust you UP" and Rocky says "go for it". Advanced Scripted Dialogue with Professor Stallone.

The final fight happens, and it's mostly the same as how the other ones went except without a montage summarizing a whole bunch of rounds. I think this whole fight ended in three rounds. But it ends with the exact same music that I'm getting sick of….

BUT! There is a follow-up scene this time! It's some other day later on and Apollo and Rocky are just palling around at the gym. And THEN the movie ends. I feel that the producers must have implored Stallone, artisan that he is, to just end the movie on that climactic moment right after the fight ends, just like the other movies, but he said NO. That is not ENOUGH for a SYLVESTER STALLONE FILM. We will have an additional scene with INCONSEQUENTIAL BANTER. It will last OVER ONE MINUTE. And here we are. Rocky III: it's like Raging Bull, but better!!

I think Talia Shire is the only female actor with any lines in this movie.

One thing that's very much worth saying about this movie is that there is WAY more actual boxing in this movie. The other ones had almost no scenes where there were live boxing matches, but this one had lots. Plus that wrestling one! And as I observed, the directing style with this one also had a newfound sense of visual pop. But the story seems like it changed not at all from how it was described in the first studio board room meeting where jackass producers blurted out what Rocky III might be like.

(next: Rocky IV)

[thomothysdoodles]

1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 18, 20, 23, 26, 17, 28, 31, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67,, 68, 69, 70, 71, 73, 74, 75, 85, 86, 87, 88, 90, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 98

I am so sorry, I literally have no idea what came over me

Wow Lulu you really said ‘let’s ask this bitch EVERYTHING’. I love it tho lmao. Since it’s long imma put it under the cut tho

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“A pleasure to have in class, a bit lost in their mind, if they committed and focused more they’d excell but they settle for good grades”

From elementary to high school lol

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like soda cans

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Somewhere between tomboy and grunge I think

8. Movies or tv shows?

Tv shows

9. Favorite smell in the summer?

Sunscreen and freshly baked bread

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day?

A cup of milk with some cereal or biscuits. For the past month I’ve been following the keto diet tho, and I usually are some ricotta with peanut butter for breakfast

12. Name of your favorite playlist?

“Sad but vibing” lol

14. Favorite non chocolate candy?

Strawberry lollipops

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black vans pair, I bought em in August but the left one already got a hole on the front 😤

18. Ideal weather?

Cloudy but not too windy or cold. I just don’t like the sunlight in my face

20. Preferred place to write?

On my phone’s notes app lol, I’ve got almost two thousand notes in here

23. Strange habits?

I hide stuff in my room with no apparent reason. I’ve got money stashed around my room in four different points lol

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Given the chance, I like to race with my bike to get some refreshing wind

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Cozy up in a blanket and watch some tv

28. Five songs to describe you.

Karma— AJR

Ultimately— Khai Dreams

Putting a spin on Slow Dancing in the Dark— egg

Mars— YungBlud

Gotta be a Reason— Alec Benjamin

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Black jeans, black sturdy boots, and a silly little hoodie lmao

32. Top five favorite vines?

‘DONT FUCK WITH ME, IVE GOT THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’

‘Let me see what you have!’ ‘A KNIFE!’ ‘NO!!!’

‘Hey bro, what do you wanna eat?’ (‘The souuuls of my enemies’) ‘A bagel’ (‘NOOO’) ‘..two bagels.’

FR E SH A VOCA DO

‘Two shots of vodka..’ *pours half a bottle of vodka*

35. Average time you fall asleep?

I am terrible at this. I love sleeping but I also love feeling ✨ unbothered ✨ doing whatever I want in the middle of the night. So, never before 3am usually

37. Suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea?

Tea

40. Weirdest thing to happen at your school?

I dunno how weird it is, but I always found peculiar that there were cigarette butts on the ceiling of the bathrooms. Like, seven feet tall ceilings. How did those cigs get there??

41. Last person you texted?

My best friend to tell her that my sister found a way to let me watch supernatural on American Netflix >:3c

42. Jacket pockets or pant pockets?

Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie and/or jean jacket

44. Favorite scent for soap?

I dunno. Talcum powder I think

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Tee and boxers. Sometimes socks too

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Umh. Clementines maybe. Easy to peel, sweet but also not, sometimes with seeds.. and some people loathe the little white stripes they have and they spend hours peeling those away

49. What saying or quote do you live by?

“Like any / unloved thing, I don’t know if I’m real /when I’m not being touched.” —Natalie Wee

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

My best friends always make me wheeze, it can be the stupidest dumbest thing ever, I’m really fucking easy to amuse lol

51. current stresses?

My driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my d

52. Favorite font?

I have no idea. This one? Lol

53. What is the current state of your hands?

Good. I just cut my nails, I really wanna put some nail polish but my dad comes back home tomorrow and he always looks me weird when I put it

55. Favorite fairy tail?

The little mermaid

56. Favorite tradition?

A tradition I have with my friends is that when we celebrate someone’s birthday, we go to the thrift shop and buy them stupid stuff to wear or put on. On my birthday a couple days ago I had to wear playboy bunny ears and a black glittery bow tie lol. Once I bought my best friend a tiny pirate hat, and for another my friend took a boa with pink feathers lol

57. The 3 biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Mmmh

I’m having a hard time with my parents since I dropped out of uni but I think I’m starting to overcome it finally

When my parents were about to divorce and in was dreading the idea of moving from this city

That time in middle school I spent a couple weeks at the hospital to run a bunch of neurological tests

58. Four talents you’re proud having?

I’m pretty good at multitasking

It’s very difficult to enrage me (yes I consider it a talent)

I can juggle lol

I can read in moving cars/trains etc without getting sick :D

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“What the f—“

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/ etc?

“Happiness isn't in the having. It's just in the being. It's in just saying it.” Aka Castiel’s love confession (OF COURSE I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING DESTIEL RELATED)

62. Seven characters you relate to?

No specific order:

Dean Winchester

Eric Derekson

Jake Peralta

Doug Eiffel (👀)

Tony Stark

Klaus Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

63. Five songs that would play in your club?

Anything from P!ATD

Bang!— AJR

Natural— Imagine Dragons

Anything from Set It Off

Maniac— Conan Gray

64. Favorite website from your childhood?

I didn’t use computers in my childhood lol

66. Favorite flower(s)?

Fresias 💕

67. Good luck charms?

I used to keep in my pocket a little hazelnut my dad gave me once telling me that it was a good luck charm. I took it away tho. I dunno, maybe my rings

68. Worst flavor of any food of drink you’ve ever tried?

I have to admit I never tasted it, but the smell of truffle literally makes me gag, so that

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Apparently your love language is both the one you give AND want love, and also the one you most lacked growing up. So. Mull that over.

70. Left or right handed?

Rightie

71. Least favorite pattern?

Holey ones. Make my sight go double

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an Advil of ibuprofen?

A seven I guess. I usually try to sleep off anything I have, I hate to take medicines, and loathe to call the doctor lol

75. When did you lose your first tooth?

Around.. six I think?

85. Fairy tails or mythology?

Mythology forever

86. Cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies 🍪

87. Your greatest fear?

That the other shoe will drop and I’ll be alone and lonely

88. Your greatest wish?

To have enough stubbornness to do what I wish to do without getting demoralized so easily

90. Luckiest mistake?

Me and one of my best friends got to know each other through other common friends, and once they both couldn’t come and we ended up spending the day together. We had lots of fun, but we also got drunk and I lost my mcfreaking watch lmao

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps

94. Favorite season?

Winter ❄️

95. Favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr! (And the music one. And the podcasts one. And— jk lol)

[theycallmegothboy]

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

[sunflower-vol14]

I was tagged by @sunflowrhaz do to three ask games, thank you!!! 🍉🌈🌷

One

Post 5 songs from my country that are awesome and that everyone should listen to!

this classic and this one and this one too

California by Joni Mitchell

Like To Be You by Shawn Mendes (also its his birthday today :D )

I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen

Here I Am by Bryan Adams (from spirit: stallion of the cimarron) (dont mind me crying over that movie and its soundtrack)

Here’s to Never Growing Up by Avril Lavigne

in conclusion: canada wins music (and hockey)

Two

Nickname: el

Zodiac: leo

Height: 5′6 

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

Last thing I googled: the youtube video of that last link for the music

Songs stuck in my head: the second music link sksksk (no spoilers sksks)

Number of followers: 297

Amount of sleep: 8 ish hours

Wearing: my pjs which is just a black and white striped tshirt and red shorts

Favourite song: i have no clue but i do love miss canyon moon

Favourite instrument: cello

Favorite author: probably john green

Favourite animal: doggos

Random: i finally ordered/ got my nalgene bottle and i love it and now im waiting for all my stickers to arrive (minus the one i bought from @pridesobright ‘s esty shop which i love so so much) (its the little eroda fishy)

Three

How has your day been? 

honestly not great, ive cried twice and its only 12:30, but we’re trying not to think of all the things that upset me

UPDATE ITS MUCH BETTER NOW I SAVED 5 SNAILS

What was the last thing that made you smile?

listening to celine dion and pretending to perform the song all dramatically while writing this post. perfect now just came on so i might cry again but for a completely different reason :’) oh also rediscovering why not by hilary duff

What’s keeping you entertained these days?

im watching/ re-watching all the star wars films (its a time sksksks the scripts are so bad but i still have a big soft spot for them) (im on the attack of the clones) also i recently listened to magic for the first time and fell in love so that bop is a good time

If you’re in quarantine/isolation, is there anything that you would like to achieve during this time?

im not in quarantine/ isolation officially but i go to work and then come home and dont do much else. im going to try to review past coursework so im more prepared for when i go back to school in the winter.

Post a selfie if you want! 

I tag: @onedirectiom @princeofyorkshire @threenails @thepeacering @theparisinterview @stillalways1d @dfferentstages @starlitlou 

[shamemp3]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

@demondeals thank you for tagging me this was SO MUCH FUN!! ily!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

aah this is hard okay so first and foremost peter parker. he’s one of those characters that have always been relatable in almost every aspect of life since i was a kid, especially when it comes to how he deals with his feelings and like his emotions and humor and his problems in general?? and then also jake peralta also because of feelings and how he tries to avoid them and be all!! fun fck yea!! and humor and idk?? also i love amy santiago so... third i think is percy jackson bc no thoughts head empty and he is impulsive and also brave and i would like to think that i am brave?? and yeh im trying to make this as short as possible and only vaguely explain but. it’s not working ksdfjbv okay fourth character is stiles stilinski ig?? like sarcasm and humor again, and idk this is all repeating but it all comes back to how he deals w his feelings and guilt and problems and idk the reasons are mostly the same with all these characters and yea there’s more but i feel like i am talking too much so i will stop skjdbvjk

2. Aesthetic

milkshakes and fries, neon lights, blasting the car radio, doing literally anything as long as it’s with friends, city lights, train rides at night, playing video games till sunrise, campfire smell, denim and flannels, drive-in movies

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

uhh i’ve only listened to hamilton which had some really cool beats! ive also listened to a few songs from dear evan hansen, wicked, mean girls, and oh now that i think about it i’ve seen the shrek musical on netflix and 10/10 phenomenal in every way that’s my favorite one

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i know i’ve gotten compliments but for some reason i cant remember any?? like the second i read this question my brain went whoosh. idk probably whenever people tell me im funny or notice that im keeping my cool in a situation that is very NOT cool?? idk i really cant think of any rn jdfsbksdjb but there have definitely been compliments that i have thought about for weeks bc i was like....omg? me? kinda sad that i dont remember them i really hope i do soon bc i wouldnt wanna forget smth like that sjkdbdvhsb

5. How many times have you been in love?

i don’t think i’ve ever been in love (at least romantically)? im not certain but im 90% sure i haven’t. but when it comes to friends and family, sososos many times i lvoe them all

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

uhhh i got pantsed in like grade 7 bc i was being dragged across the floor and then this 9th grader came up to me in the middle of the hallway and yelled “HEY I SAW YOUR ASS” i wanted to perish

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

ooh probably zootopia or wall-e!!

8. Favorite flower or plant?

this is hard! i love ferns and sunflowers and hydrangeas and ooh also vines 

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love new year’s eve! it’s just fun because we all just stay up and celebrate and there’s always this feeling of “oh i got through another year!” also 4th of july but not bc of the actual holiday just bc my old town used to have these 4th of july carnivals that were crazy fun and i used to go like almost every day when the carnival was in town

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

first one is my school posted a picture of me graduating on their facebook and my mom sent them the link to look at it and when they pressed on it they started replying to my mom thinking it was on whatsapp but they left like 7 comments on the school’s post in arabic so that was funny as fukckjdbf, second is atla bc i love that show and everyone is so precious, and number 3 is literally any conversation with any of my friends

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

axel f by crazy frog. next question

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

probably watching one of my favorite movies (mr. popper’s penguins or itsv tbh) or like just going on any of my friend’s gcs and sending memes and stuff

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i plan on going into chemistry!! i might also minor in computer or environmental science, but i’m still undecided! crazy because up till a few months ago i had zero idea what i wanted to do and my plans kept changing like every week

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

probably my denim jacket or my really big red sweatshirt? idk tbh i really only buy clothes that i know i would feel myself in and that i would be comfortable, but i think those two are probably my favorites?

15. What is a quote you live by?

power of people is stronger than the people in power because i want to take down the evil government. this is the first one i thought of so it’s staying skjvbjksdb

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

i have ‘AAAAHHHHHHH’ and i have ‘mitten ski’ which is a playlist composed entirely of mitski songs

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

wanna touch knees?

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

please stand up for urself and talk ab ur feelings for the love of god it’s ok to admit to being not ok ?? also everything in the world is not ur fault, chill btich

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

i can’t really do this bc i really do love all of them in a different way. i’m definitely closest to my mom because i’ve lived with her all my life, but i still can’t pick favorites

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

to be an astronaut pls this isn’t a secret i just really want to be an astronaut or a superhero pls someone give me a radioactive eel bite or send me to space or something. also to be able to be more open w people and to visit aleppo again 

i’m tagging: @natasharxmanov @anthonydarling @parkersedith @jessjones @anxieteandbiscuits if you guys want to!!! ily all very much