#ive simply borrowed their likeness for my and hopefully your amusement

[fromthedeskoftheminister]

Chapter 2: Simulations still have Consequences - Now on AO3

It’s a stinging ache in his hand that brings him back to himself. Tango blinks, absently notices that there is the taste of ash in his mouth along with a sharp pain in his throat.  Also a slight ache in his wrist, a wet pain in his knuckles and a mild headache now that he is thinking about it. He blinks again. He’s lost time, but he doesn't know how much or why.  There are more empty tubes than there were before and no one is around in the central bay which means getting everyone else out has been put on pause for a moment because....

He goes down the line. Ah. Doc's out. And given the number of prosthetics and other cybernetics the man has? Well, the hermits on welcoming duty are probably having a time of it wrangling the good doctor away from his lab and or into medical. Depending. Ok. So, he's lost some time, but not as much as he thought but why did he?

Frantic motion draws his eye and he turns slightly to see Jevin waving at him. Confused he waves back. Jevin goes formless for a moment, slumping slightly before literally pulling himself back together. It’s... relief? Tango thinks as he watches Jev pantomime breathing at him. Which is good if a bit weird, given that Jevin is quite literally a slime and breaths through diffusion and not with lungs on account of not having any? Tango himself is breathing normally, despite the weird taste in his mouth and the pain in his throat.

He sees the moment that Jevin realizes that he’s not comprehending. The slime pulls in on himself condensing ever so slightly before wibbling and pointing to the pod kitty-cornered from him. The pod where all Tango can see is someone’s back from where they're splayed-out face down on the floor.

Short term memory kicks in.  It hits him.

Impulse. Impulse collapsed. Impulse collapsed and Tango is trapped. He's stuck waiting for his tube to depressurize and THERE ARE NO HERMITS OUTSIDE THE PODS IN THE MAIN BAY.

He breaths in, breaths out, ignores the little jet of flame that escapes through his clenched teeth. Jevin clearly sees it and pushes himself closer to the glass, watching unblinking with unmistakable worry.

Ah. Ok. That's what happened last time. He lost his cool, lost control, and probably burned off the extra oxygen in his pod. Right. That tracks. It also explains his sore throat and mild headache. He breaths in again, holds it, and exhales a long steady stream that this time, thankfully, comes out flameless. He points at Impulse’s pod, cocks his head in question, and makes exaggerated breathing motions. Jevin nods and flashes him a thumbs up. Right. Ok. He runs his clawed through filamentous blond hair, before tugging slightly on the strands as he thinks. Impulse will be fine, he tells himself. He's breathing normally, or so Tango is choosing to believe. Jevin would...well…probably notice if he wasn't. Hopefully.  Maybe?  Dang it, there has got to be something that he can do other than just waiting. 

Staring vacantly across the room Tango starts mentally running through his options, discarding most of them just as quickly as he thinks of them.  His eyes suddenly refocus on Impulse's Pod. Had Impulse moved?  Tango couldn’t be sure. Was what he thought he saw just the product of wishful thinking? No. There it was again. That was definitely movement. Tango held his breath and leaned forward, hoping that it was Impulse pushing himself upright before jumping back as far as the pod would allow.  The back of Impulse's shirt started writhing and roiling as if something was trapped and trying to escape. Had Impulse somehow managed to pick up a bit of the void?  Was that even possible?

He waved at Jevin and pointed at Impulses pod, head cocked in a questioning matter. The shrug and mildly disturbed look he got in response did not fill him with confidence in the slightest.

As suddenly as it started, the movement stopped. Tango held his breath. One, two, three... And when nothing happened, he let it out. Clearly whatever that had been, it was over. Unfortunately, it being over didn't seem to be bringing Impulse any relief however. Tango winced in sympathy as Impulse endured a full body shudder before rolling over, seemingly curled over his knees in discomfort or pain. The entire thing was hard to watch and Tango laid his hand upon the glass wishing yet again that he could do something.

His hand clenched reflexively as he observed Impulse’s suffering through yet another spasm.  He now could see a visible wet patch spreading on Impulse’s back. A glossy black mass oozed out from under, or was it through, the shirt. It sat there mostly contained before it ungulated violently, throwing itself outwards, shredding the shirt in the process.  It collided against the walls of the glass tube with, what was probably audible in the main bay, a wet squelchy thud. The mass rose up and strained against the glass and hung suspended for a moment before collapsing inwards completely hiding Impulse from view.

Startled red eyes met his shocked black ones and Tango didn't need to be able to hear to hear Jevin's startled exclamation of "What in the Hels?"

The black mass obscuring Impulse from view surged upwards yet again, this time punching through the glass as if it were mere paper. Glass and warped copper framing seemed to hang suspended in the air as time seemed to crawl to a stop.  Tango was frozen in place as he watched the scene advance in fits and starts like bad stop-motion animation.  The dark mass continued to expand upwards. Flashes of light caught and rebounded off of the slowly falling shards of glass reminiscent of torchlight on deepslate diamond ore or nether stars on black concrete. Despite being unable to hear through the tube Tango’s mind conjured the sound of distorted chimes as fragmented metal and glass hit the grating on the floor one by one.

Jerkily the darkness expanded and finally seemed to reach its fullest extent.  It unfurled from its previous amorphous mass to reveal, not some sort of void parasite, but instead a pair of massive wings. The wings flexed slightly into a stretch of some sort. The odd angle and lighting of the room highlighted wing bones of gold tipped with gilded claws and dark purple swirling patterns within the wing membrane. Tango could only stare in awe.  While he knew Impulse had wings, he’d never seen them. Not like this. In fact, he couldn’t recall when he had last seen Impulse's wings at all.

Suddenly, time seemed to snap back to normal like a broken tripwire. Everything came crashing down all at once to the floor; glass, metal, wings and all. Tango stared, uncomprehending as he watched the wings falling, heading straight for the jagged edges remaining on the broken pod. To his horror there was no visible attempt at all from Impulse to control their descent.

Tango slammed his hand down on the emergency release button, clutching the console as his legs threatened to give out under him. He didn’t know if he had made it in time, or how he had managed to get out of his pod in the first place. The new ache in his knuckles gave him some idea about that, however.  He turned, relived to see that his not at all thought out action had in fact worked. The broken remains of Impulse’s pod were receding into the floor with a grinding whine.

The rest of Hermits sat or stumbled out of their own pod ports as the emergency release sequence continued.  He didn’t pay much attention, certain that they would be able to get his, or someone else’s, attention if another medical emergency occurred.  Ignoring the noises as the pods released and retracted he pushed forwards, limping towards Impulse’s pod.

Distracted as he was by examining what he could see of Impulse’s wings for punctures and tears, Tango completely missed stepping over the lip of the pod dock and pitched forward with a startled noise. Only a quick twist prevented him from landing atop his buddy.  Luckily now that he was down on the floor it was  the work of a moment to brace Impulse's head with his legs while using his clawed fingers to press themselves against Impulse’s neck, just below his pointier than normal ears.

He waited, a moment, now two. There was nothing, nothing at all that he could feel under his fingers. Not even the up down motions to indicate breathing. And then, Impulse let out an audible whimper despite the clear lack of a pulse.  He pushed his head into Tango's hand and Tango wishes for an extra hand so he could smack himself in the face. Right. Ok. Nonstandard biology. He manages to shift his position slightly, detaching his shirt from Impulse’s horns, before moving his hand to the middle of Impulse's back, right between the wings. He waits, steadying his own breathing as he focuses on the movement under his hands. There. Breathing. And… Thud-bump. Thud-bump. Thud-bump. Heartbeat. Faster than normal, but steady. Breathing itself is also shallow, but unobstructed and regular and Tango hisses out a sigh of relief. Right. Now that he’s found it he can monitor the pattern.

"That sounds promising, dude." Comes Jevin's voice from right beside him and Tango jumps. Or well as much as he can situated as he is letting out a splutter of sounds. He twists slightly, and there Jevin is, standing at the lip of the pod dock. "Sorry. Impulse alright?"

Tango shrugs and moves his hand from Impulse’s head, sketching a couple of glyphs into the air. "Probably not?" he offers as orange and blue sparks follow his fingertips forming two disconnected corners that he separates with a quick flick. He waits for the parallel lines to start to form between them before he continues. "I mean, he’s breathing and his heart rate is steady even if it’s faster than a one tick pulse but this really isn't normal so clearly somethings wrong"

"No kidding."

There's a pause and when nothing more seems forthcoming Tango's attention returns to the floating design in front of him and the words spilling across it, scrolling almost faster than he can read them.

"...thought he was human." someone else murmurs from behind him and Tango snorts at that.

"Impy? Human? Well he does like his glamours." He says offhandedly then freezes. Glamours. Shit. Maybe? And scrolls back several lines. "Someone call Skizz." he demands, frantically scanning the code in front of him, all humor gone from his voice.

"I’m on it" another voice says

Tango does not pay attention as he rereads that last line of code. He vaguely notices a gentle be-doo-do be-doo-do comes from behind him, getting closer.  Tango still isn’t really paying attention, focusing instead on Impulse's spine as he gently taps down it.  He swears slightly as pale lavender and gold glyphs glimmer into existence. They look ragged and worn down. None of them appear to be at full strength with a few only barely visible. Some of the glyphs that Tango knows Impulse should have are either shattered or have disappeared entirely.  That’s clearly not good.  As he watches, another fades out, then breaks with a sort of audible snap, and Tango can feel Impulse's jaw start to rearrange itself from where its pressed against his leg. Oh Crap!

Tango breaths in then breaths out a steady stream of white blue flame. He reaches into the conflagration and twists a thread free and looks at it for a moment "Devs beyond I hope this works" he mutters and brings it down, touching it to the weakest of the glyphs. Blue white meets gold, and the entire line flares. It pulses, once, twice as the lilac that should be royal purple is overwhelmed and replaced but now a regularly flickering blue as Tango feeds more of the fire woven thread into it.

It seems his action was just in time too, as a number on the main display for Impulse ticks over to zero. 

Suddenly an excited "PERALIEPOP" sounds right next to his ear.  "Whazzup Buddeh?"

"Skizz." Tango all but growls cutting off any response Pearl, of course its Pearl, might give.

"Top?" comes the confused voice of Skizzleman from the comm next to him.

"Can you call Impulse?" He asks, watching the depleted number, waiting, hoping that it'll tick up.

"Dippledop? Sure, why? Isn't he with you?"

"Nonono, I mean Call Impulse," he says, emphasizing the last two words.

He can almost hear Skizzleman's blink before what he has asked for clicks, "OH! Oh. Yeah. What's wrong with Professor Dippledop?"

"Best guess? Cascading Glamour failure? With," he squints at the lines he'd highlighted, "Aural exhaustion and a compounding geas? I think? I'm not fluent in this, man. His glyphs and mine are very, very different things."

"But are they holding?" Skizz asks over what sounds like chests or shulkers being flung open.

"No. I'm holding them for him. He's out, Skizz," Tango mutters.

Tango breathes a surreptitious sigh of relief as the number finally starts to tick upwards.

"Right." The sounds of more shuffling comes over the line. "Ok. I’ve got everything. Give me 5 minutes to set up then drop your hold, unless you wanna come with him."

"Can’t. Someone's gonna have to summonificate him to season 8 when we get there."

"Gotcha, gotcha buddy. Right, set a timer, I'm doing this on the dot, Catch ya later Pop n Top."

There was a click as the call disconnected and Tango took another glance at the glyphs on Impulse's back. They were pulsing now, in time with the slowing heartbeat.

"Ok." he announced to the room at large, "Now he'll be Ok." he looked up at the crowd of hermits who had gathered around him. "Or he will in 5 minutes. No one suffering decomp sickness? I didn’t bother to check what the levels were at before I hit the release."

"I've set a timer," Said Pearl. "And we're fine, but you need some bandages, mate"

Tango blinked at her, "What?"

"I got it," said Zed pushing through a group of hermits carrying a small white box.

"But I'm fine?" Tango protested as Jevin gestured towards his foot.

"You're really not dude, you left a trail."

"I left a what?"

Jevin doesn’t answer, just gestures. Tango looks back at the rest of the bay. It’s more of a mess than he realized. Shards of metal and glass are scattered across the room, radiating outwards not only from Impulse's pod but also from his own. A strange colored goopy trail of footprints appears on the concrete by the central console and then disappears again on the grating. He squints at it, confused to see what looks like blood mixed with suspension fluid.

"Who's bleeding?" he asks confused.

"You, Tango. Foot. Now!" Zed says.

Well that answers that question Tango thought.

"Kinda attached to those Zed."

"And we're kinda attached to you. Foot. Now."

Tango's prevented from answering as Pearl states, "Tango, let go whatever it is you’re holding for Impulse in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1" and an alarm goes off, shrill and right in his ear.

Tango winces and pulls his hands back, swiping through the thread that’s now trailing off into nothing and it fades. The glyphs on Impulses back fade slightly, but no one gets a chance to see by how much because moments after he's let go, there’s a “vworp” and all that’s left where Impulse was is a shower of purple particles, redstone dust and a few gold nuggets.

There’s a moment of stunned disbelief, and Tango can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he stands, scooping up the redstone and gold which he pockets. He'll figure out the enscryption on the gold later so that he knows where he’s gonna have to summon Impulse from, but his job is done now and he is very aware that his foot hurts.

"Ow!" he says looking down at it, and at the smear of blood that is oozing out from under his right foot.

It’s his ow that breaks the spell apparently, as the hermits around him start clamoring for answers as Zedaph tugs him to sit grabbing his foot and holding it hostage. Looking at this crowd of goofs that he calls family it’s all Tango can do to not laugh as most of them try to reign in their curiosity as they take turns making sure everyone else is all right some of them clearly itching to address the winged elephant which is no longer in the room. He knows he needs have to give some sort of answer for them eventually but it can wait, he thinks with a wince as Zedaph removes a piece of glass from his foot.  He just hopes he can come up with something reasonable explanation wise until he has a chance to talk with Impulse and figure out just how much his buddy is ok with the other hermits knowing.

Magical Emergencies of the Big Moon Variety

Summary: Not everyone adjusts well to being unceremoniously ejected from a collective simulation. Even if it only lasted for approximately 6 months ship time, it certainly felt a lot longer. Some of the adjustments that need to be made are minor in nature. Others… are a bit more serious and require outside assistance which youd think would be hard to come by in space. Look familiar? Unedited Pt 1, Unedited Pt 2,

Read the edited version on AO3

Tango spread his fingers against the glass his hand flexing absently as he greedily drank in the sights of his friends and family. He couldn’t tell if the relief that he was feeling was from the simple joy that his family were all in fact alive and in, uh, various states of wellness or from the more selfish realization that he hadn’t failed in his quest to blow up the moon.  The simulation had ended quite abruptly, moments before moon-fall.  If Tango had to guess, the resulting cataclysm had catapulted them back into their bodies and awareness of the real world without so much as a by your leave. From his vantage point it was very obvious that some of them had not handled the transition well at all. 

His eyes drifted down the line of Hermits as they all waited, with varying levels of patience, for the Pods to finish draining and equalize to the internal atmosphere of the Hermitheius. Bdubs was pressed up against the glass, as close as he could get to the center of the room and by default the rest of the hermits, eyes wider than normal. Their gazes met and Bdubs’ grin nearly split his face in two, eyes watering. Tango flashed him a quick smirk and a thumbs up. His focus wandered again, this time seeking out the third member of their trio. Keralis was sitting peacefully on the floor of his own pod making faces at XB, but he offered a wave of his own when Tango managed to catch his eye. Basemates accounted for, Tango turned his attention to the rest of his friends. From where he was already looking, it was easiest to find Zedaph, skipping over and noting a few empty pods in the process. He’d been a bit concerned for Zed, isolated as he had been for the entirety of the simulation but there was no way to tell what was going through his buddy’s head normally let alone right now. In fact, Zed was still sitting back to the room and staring out the window closest to his pod into the void of space, just as he had been since Tango had awakened.

A fine mist of condensation floated across the room before dissipating. Tango traced it to its source finding what looked like a joyous cacophony of noise as Bdubs’ upon release from his pod had launched himself into the arms of a mildly surprised Etho. Tango was unsure exactly why as he had spotted the other man hovering near Bdubs pod for as long as he had been aware.  Etho hadn't been the only one present either, even if he was the only one currently lingering. Iskall, Stress, Wels and TFC had left the simulation early and Tango had seen all of them as they wandered through, checking in on everyone before wandering off again. Wels had even stopped to chat when Tango had waived him down while waiting for his pod to finish draining.

It was hard to communicate through glass without communicators but luckily his pantomimes and pidgin sign language had been fairly easy to understand. At least Wels had gotten the gist of what Tango wanted to know, and had been fairly obliging in his explanations. The five hermits who had ended up leaving the simulation early had simply opted to remain out of the simulation rather than constantly hopping back in and out again during the long trip to Season 8. He’d also managed to convey that he and Stress had had been working on a project with Iskall. It was when Renbob had wandered through that Wels had left to chase the hippie back to his bed. Tango wasn’t put off by the abrupt ending to their acted out conversation. Earlier Wels had indicated that both Renbob and the Goatfather had worked themselves to exhaustion trying to make sure that Boatem had made it out safely as they had been last group to get booted. It had been a much more complicated and trying process than anyone had been prepared for and none of them were sure exactly where the problem had originated. Something, something, resetting respawns, sleep deprivation and maybe the void but there wasn't much of a chance for any elaboration before Wels darted off to play nurse in shining armor.

Even with the heads up, Tango would have probably been the most concerned about the members of Boatem. Pearl had swum to the top of her half-drained pod and was floating on her back, legs pressed up against the glass and watching the room upside down seemingly giggling at random. Scar seemed entirely unperturbed and unphased as he waited for his pod to drain, not that he was paying any attention to the rest of the group. Instead, he was sitting cattywampus on the floor of his pod, legs stretched out in front of him, cooing at Jelly who was batting ineffectually at his fingers through the glass. Mumbo on the other hand was standing straight up in the dead center of his pod, nervously running his hands through his hair and avoiding all eye contact despite the fact that he couldn’t seem to stop glancing around at all the people in the room with the exception of Grian. Speaking of Grian, he was also standing in the center of his pod, blank and expressionless, seemingly staring through everything but still watching it all. It was rather eerie and reminded Tango uncomfortably of how Grian had been when he had first joined their merry band of misfits. Still, that was a problem for another time and quite possibly another bunch of hermits. Tango was going to have his hands full as it was, trying to help Zed who was still staring out the window; and that didn’t even account for Impulse.

Out of everyone, it was Impulse who was concerning Tango the most not that he could put his finger on what exactly was sending up the alarm bells. He didn’t look worse off than anyone else in Boatem sitting as he was on the far side of his pod. His buddy was slouched slightly with his back against the glass and one arm loosely resting on a bent knee. From where he was across the room, it was impossible to make out any sort of expression on Impulse’s face but from how it rested against the glass, turned upwards and eyes closed it was probably safe to assume that there wasn’t one.

Tango frowned slightly, as he made eye contact with Jevin and gestured over at Impulse. Jevin thankfully, got the picture and after a moment put his hands together on one side of his tilted head in a pantomime of sleep. Tango let out a sigh of relief but his worry did not abate and he continued to stare. While he wanted his buddy to get some much-needed rest, really Mumbo how was sleep deprivation supposed to help prevent Moon Big at all, Devs sometimes Boatem made him despair, something was still wrong. Something just… felt off. He could feel it in his bones, as Impulse would say. Still, he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly it was.

Another puff of condensation due to the release of pressurized air floated through the room. Another Hermit’s pod had finished equalizing. Probably Cub? Tango glanced over, and yep, that was definitely Cub, sharp teeth, tattered wings and overly blue eyes and all, moving as if he was expecting there to be simultaneously more and less gravity than there actually was. That was certainly interesting. Hadn’t Cub also attempted to escape Moon-fall by going to space? Thoughts wandering, Tango jumped when his gaze returned to Impulse only to find one cracked eye blearily peering at him.

Tango couldn’t help himself as he threw his arms up and cheered, “IMPULSE! Hey! There you are!”

There was no response, not that Tango had expected one. He knew Impulse wouldn’t be able to hear him but still a wave or something would have been nice. His arms fell as Impulse continued to stare, not at him but through him, before the heavily lidded eyelid slid shut.

“Impy?” Tango said, mainly for his own benifit.

Both eyes opened this time. Had he not been so worried, Tango would have lost it laughing. Trust Impulse’s hatred of that nickname to cause a reaction even when the other couldn’t hear it. Tango didn’t relish the hilarity of that for very long however, as Impulse’s head dropped ever so slightly, the lights of the room hitting at exactly the right angle for him to catch an unobstructed view of eyeshine from not normally yellow glassy eyes.

Oh.

That.

That was bad.

That was so very very bad.

“Impy?” he tried again mentally cursing the slowness of the tube’s equalization cycle, as he caught his buddy's gaze.

One eye closed, followed by the other before opening again, one after the other in a strange facsimile of a blink. That was weird, even by his standards and the feeling that something was wrong only grew. But Hey! He definitely, somehow, had Impulse’s attention. Because that? That was a response. It had to be. Tango watched as Impulse blinked, once more, this time a lot closer together and looking a lot more like normal. Progress!

“C’mon Impy!” Tango crooned. He’d take Impulse being annoyed with him if he could actually get a coherent response. “Up an attem buddy! You can do it!”

Impulse could not in fact do it, and Tango watched in horror as Impulse’s eyes closed and he listed sideways, sliding down the glass and smashing his face on the floor of his pod.

And

        Tango’s

                       Vision

      goes

                                   WHITE