#ive seen many ooc fics but you do not really think of them after you closed them

[jestroer]

Yeah we all know “He would not fucking say that” but can we please also talk about “Oh my god HE would fucking say that”. When you see something in-character you can hear it in character’s voice. Peace and love on the planer earth

[love-beyond-space-war]

Hi hii <33 im so glad i found your blog, ive been looking for someone who writes for halo at all but seeing that you also write for rvb, i have to come on here and ask.... Possibility of getting a church/epsilon x reader ?? it kind of makes sense (?) that i cant find any fics for him but im still p :( about it lolol i dont have many ideas, im not the most creative but i was thinking maybe something with reader's reaction to seeing him return after he and carolina disappeared for that time on chorus?? or just the two of them catching up or smth similar <333 i understand if this is a strange request or if you dont want to do it at all <3 thank you for taking the time to read me rambling a bit lolol

I haven't seen Chorus in awhile so I took my own liberties with this ^^ Despite that... hope you enjoy. I haven't written a regular fic in awhile, I've been very involved with my main blog lately. Sorry if I made it too short :( Trying to get back into the swing of things and I'm battling a cold!

Not proofread fully, sorry for any mistakes!

We Meet Again

Church (Epsilon) x Reader

Synopsis: You and Epsilon/Church have a heart to heart chat upon meeting again on Chorus. It's not the happiest reunion....

Content Warnings: Romantic/Platonic Pairing, Gender-Neutral Reader, Angst, Vaguely follows canon, Possible OOC Church.

You weren't sure if you were happy or upset at the return of Epsilon. Part of you was still bitter at the fact he left with Carolina. Yet at the same time... you knew he had his reasons.

You're just being bitter by ignoring him, aren't you?

"Look... I understand you're mad at me. Tucker and Wash are too. But... could you please just listen to me when I say I'm sorry?" Epsilon... Church... pleads to you as he hovers by your helmet.

"Church..." You find yourself finally saying, the hologram beside you perking up. "I know... I just... I wish I could've come with."

"You know you couldn't... it would be too dangerous-" Church tries to reason only to be shot a glare.

"Oh really? Like what we all just went through wasn't?" You hiss at the hologram. Church appears to realize his mistake before responding.

"I didn't know you'd be in danger! Not until me and Carolina looked for answers! I thought you'd be fine-" Church rambles, sitting his hologram by your shoulder.

"We all make mistakes...." You whisper, noticing the AI's panic.

"I can only calculate so many possibilities, I'm sorry! I guess I should've thought harder when it came to you and the rest...." Church continues to speak. His tone makes you feel guilty for being so bitter. It's not like he meant to leave you....

You clear your throat, fully turning yourself to look at Church. You're so happy the others left you two alone. They knew how close you were with the AI and his distraught/angry you were when he left.

It was best to just leave you two to work things out while a plan against Felix and Locus is prepared.

"Okay, Church, please calm down-" You try to say Church looking back at you. You don't need to read his face to know how he's feeling.

When it comes to you... he feels guilty.

"I'm sorry... I want you to know I and the others care for you." Church sighs, small holographic form standing in front of you.

"Your fragments?" You ask, only for Church to nod.

"I... even like this... just want to protect those I care for. That includes you. I care for you so much." Church whispers. "If I lost you due to a miscalculation... I... it might feel like losing her all over again."

You know who Church is talking about as immediately reach out your hand for comfort. You pause for a moments, remembering he's a hologram, but still try to show comfort. Church accepts the attempt, snorting a bit at your attempt.

"I get it now. We're both worried for one another. I'm still happy to see you both. I just... have missed you a lot." You admit. "You're scared to lose me... and I'm scared to lose you again."

"... I won't leave you anymore, then." Church says after a pause to think. "You won't have to worry anymore."

"Church... do whatever you need to do, I was just being bitter." You admit. "You shouldn't just worry about me."

Church stops you from speaking and steps closer to your visor.

"Hey... I care about you and the others more than anything. I want you to know that I... love you and the others. They get on my nerves... but-"

"I love you too, Church." You smile. "I love you and I forgive you."

"... you do?"

"Of course." You say softly. "... I wish I could hug you right now but just telling you so works for now."

Both you and Church seem more at ease when you say that. You see the AI flicker in embarrassment at your words but you can tell he's reassured. You hope he can reconcile with the others just as easily.

"It doesn't matter what happened in the past... we'll protect each other now." You promise with a smile before standing up. "You coming to meet with the others?"

"Sure... we do have other matters to attend to, don't we?" Church agrees before following you. You give him a smile, albeit with a bittersweet tone.

"Unfortunately, we do, but we'll do it together."

With that, you're off to plan.

[naw-naw-honeyimgood]

ChengQing (lmao never realized that was their fucking ship name)

so pros of (Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing):

one of the few possible het ships available to mdzs fans like there are all of five named female characters and this is the only one not in an established het pairing. and like sure ive seen yanli w/ someone else a couple times but you CANT put her with JIANG CHENG and i cant say ive ever seen mianmian in a serious relationship in fics with anyone besides either her canon hubby or a chick (usually yanli, wen qing herself, or even sometimes both lmao).

it’s basically written itself in cql!! he has a very obv and clear crush on her, even gives her a comb and offers to help her! she seems interested but the way the storyline went it was simply not meant to be :’(

you get to pair off jiang cheng!! ngl once u finish mdzs its kinda sad for everyone not wangxian (in their generation/above) cuz theyre the only one that get a happy ending. Everyone else is forever alone / depressed / bitter or a combination thereof. so it’s nice to see jiang cheng getting a happy ending!

he... gets... kids...? like ngl as a childless person that is happy to stay that way thats not exactly a pro in my eyes but you might look at his relationship w/ jin ling and say “he’s a great father! he deserves to be a father!” which okay good news! wen qing can bear children!

Now. Cons. 

for one thing the fact that you have a lack of options doesnt exactly mean every possible het pairing can have good chemistry even if you change circumstances enough. there comes to a point where certain pairings can only be really viable if one or both of them are ooc.

lets be honest im willing to bet that AT LEAST 80% of the reason cql introduced this ship was because they were not allowed to make the wangxian pair explicitly Together (and i dont even mean anything specifically sexual), and they needed SOME SORT of romance to feature in the story. xuanli doesnt count because theyre an established background ship,  the jiang parents dont count as romance, we aint talkin about the villain relationships, and lbr, mianmian already had a lot more signif in cql than mdzs. so it makes sense that they took the arguably most important male chara besides wangxian and made him have a crush on the most important female character that wasnt his SISTER. 

what im trying to say is that cql pulled that pairing out of a hat. if you look at canon at ALL i highly doubt there would ever have been feelings, just as there never were. we dont quite know the age dif but we know that wen qing was the older sister and wen ning might have been a bit younger? than the boys? cannot quite remember but we dont know if she was only a year or two older or if it was like. mingjue and huaisang. we dont know! and i canNOT see jiang cheng going for an older chick. also their personalities would clash So Much. she has older sis vibes and not the gentle kind like yanli. she snaps at wen ning’s mumbling and stuff a good couple times- you think she’d tolerate jiang cheng’s emotional immaturity? hah. 

this also kinda segues into my main point of: as depressing as it is that jiang cheng is forever alone unless you pair him off... he would honestly put whoever you pair him off with through hell. he’s not nice. so many jiang cheng stans like to argue that he’s a traumatized kid that was raised to channel his emotions through anger (and raises bitterness under his skin like an ugly puppy) but inside he has a heart of gold, and they’re... not exactly wrong! i mean- literally every younger chara is traumatized in some way. but... that doesn’t really... excuse the shit he’s pulled? as much as jiang cheng stans like to forget: jin guangyao was RIGHT when he said that jiang cheng’s insecurities got wei ying killed. his CLOSEST ALLY. 

tying back to wen qing we have their actual CANON interactions (or lack thereof). wen qing didn’t exactly protect wei ying and jiang cheng out of the goodness of her heart when lotus pier fell: she was protecting wen ning (her BROTHER) from the repercussions of his own actions by saving wei ying (and Jiang Cheng ig idk he was just there bUT YOUNG MASTER WEI-)

not QUITE sure why she agreed to doing the golden core transfer (maybe scientific curiousity? i mean she had an unproven medical theory and here was a volunteer) but it def wasnt For Jiang Cheng.

and then the next time she saw him? do you guys remember the next time she saw him? it’ was when jiang cheng came up to the burial mounds to kill wen ning’s corpse and tell wei ying to turn over the wens. 

KEEP IN MIND that jiang cheng KNOWS wen ning and qing SAVED HIS FUCKING ASS after lotus pier (not How but he KNOWS THIS) and yet he still tells wei ying to hand them over.

he makes wei ying choose between what amounts to the cultivation world and his morals. 

that does not a good healthy relationship make. also again their personalities would clash like so bad. i love wen qing way more but you have to admit her personality is super similar to madame yu’s. and we already agreed that jiang cheng was traumatized as a kid. im not saying fengmian didnt have a hand in it but you gotta admit a good amount was madam yu and her insecurites and accusations she piled on her son. and you wanna pair him up romantically with someone who won’t take his shit and smile? will call him out? HAH.

im not saying this because i think jiang cheng should be with a softer personalitied (guy) like lan xichen or wen ning or huaisang because god knows those pairings have their own issues. im just saying that in canon-verse all i can ship whole-heartedly is jiang cheng / therapy, but since there is not therapy in canon-verse, or even if there WAS then there’s no way he’d admit to needing it, then yeah he can stay single for all his bitter life. better that than making jiang parent relationship 2.0 like fuck.

(this of course means that in modern aus where he DOES get therapy i am Open)

also real quick but jiang cheng was NOT a good parent to jin ling and i will not take constructive criticism like sure he was better than the jiang parents and the lan parents but that is SUCH a low fuckin bar and it’s a fact that in chapter 9 jin ling literally thinks “if I can’t slice off her head with this blow, I will die here- death it is then!!” (taken gratefully from the exiled rebels scanlation) and that is NOT a healthy-minded child.

the only healthy minded children is like. jingyi. and probably sizhui. although i am not here for the way the lan sect raise children but sometimes you have to take what you can get.

also i want you to look me in the eye and tell me that wen qing could and would do anything besides throw down with someone that so much as looked at her brother wrong

because jiang cheng apparently decided to lay the blame for jin zixuan’s death at wen ning’s feet (which is incredibly ironic considering he blames wei ying for yanli’s death??? like i feel like he could stand to use his brain cells a bit more??) and repeatedly tried to kill him.

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[tossertozier]

you mentioned possibly doing a ben or mike writing guide.. would you.. be willing to post a mike one. i'm plotting a fic and im struggling to get my mans down?? also i think abt ur fics weekly bare minimum.

hi there!!! i did my best. i tried to not sound preachy or like a know it all bc y’all know i can barely write. i hope this is helpful in some way!! disclaimer of of course this is all just my opinion & there’s no wrong way to write, you’re the only person who can tell your story!!

[[MORE]]

i think the first really important decision you have to make as Person Writing Mike is his

family & background

-are both of his parents alive?

-if yes, what’s their relationship like?

-if no, who’s his primary caretaker? what’s their relationship like?

-if no, when did they die? did he cope well with it? what’s his relationship with their memory like?

these are really really where you gotta start to write mike imo. or any character! i think one thing stephen king is to be admired for is he doesn’t neglect the parent-child relationship as so many people who write youth do. your parents are the most important people in your life for a long time. i don’t think there’s a wrong or ooc way to answer the above questions tbh. canon has really left a wide open field for you to run amuck in.

(example: i’ve mentioned in the past that my & tfat mike being a small adult is no mistake and intentional. it’s a bit of a throwaway scene, but i mention in on pointe that mike’s parents are coming. it’s intentionally done there too. mike is goofier, more outgoing, more immature in general in that fic in the small bits he’s in & that’s all a response to his familial life. )

culture + friendships

after you answer those questions, important follow up questions are:

-are the losers his first set of friends?

-how much social exposure has he had?

-has he dated? who is he attracted to?

-who influences him? (celebrities, family, culturally)

-what are his cultural interests? what does he do in his free time? how would that impact how he interacts with the rest of the world?

again, no wrong way to answer these. i’ve seen a super broad spectrum of indirect answers to these questions. even thinking about where he might pick up patterns of speech can make him feel much more like a realized character. i’ve noticed some people dip fully into aave to an extent that doesn’t even seem logical in their character’s current situation & it can really seem like a caricature, but i think to write mike without any sense of aave at all is a little ?? too. just be cognizant of it is my only real advice here. it doesn’t so much matter as long as you don’t forget who mike is which next point

humor & personality

-what do you think he would find (shows, comedians, youtube videos) really funny?

-does he have something he quotes often? something he started saying ironically but never stopped?

man i know i’m all there’s no wrong way to write mike !! in this post but i will say real quick that i think mike is funny and i don’t really respect depictions of him where he’s not. i think this is where the movies really just fucked up. book mike drops some of the funniest lines of the book. and honest to god tip is to write out a scene as you feel the urge too, look away for five minutes, look back and give half of richie’s lines away. (or... dialogue.) this sounds like a joke but it was what i did when i first started writing & tfat

i’d always be like “n the funny part goes... to richie.” and thats a fandom inclination too. nooooo. avoid this trap. it doesn’t even make sense. have u ever been in a friend group where only one person... makes jokes? that’d be genuinely so weird. especially bc if you give the joke away to someone else, you can also build on it. amazing things start happening when u start thinking of the characters in flexible patterns. like for example, i almost always give absurdist humor to stan now. wholesome to ben.

mike’s humor is largely situational to me. solid comedic timing & he’s an observant person. sometimes i read back my own writing & have to change the pov bc richies making jokes about things he would never ever notice to make fun of. mike would. mike genuinely sees all. i think he’s just got one of the most analytical brain of the losers. & i think intelligence is subjective and people are smart in different ways but i think it’s foolish to write him as anything other than incredibly intelligent both academically and emotionally. he’s just a natural observer and pattern notice-er. which brings me to my next mike thing:

love & selflessness

i think the biggest part of mike being harder to flesh into a fully realized person is the fandom tendency to make him kind and nothing else. here’s mike. he’s nice. next. bc the book kind of points out his selflessness in his decisions and it makes itself one of his strongest character traits.

especially bc nice seems to trump him having any other emotions. ...no?

i believe in general, but ESPECIALLY in the case of mike, that kindness is a choice. it’s one i genuinely believe he’d make, over & over again. but a choice he makes. he gets annoyed with his friends being annoying like anyone else would. he gets hurt when he feels left out. he feels tired & anxious & hungry and all those other human things. sometimes he might not let it show outwardly, but there’s a difference between that and not giving him feelings at all.

people are selfish. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s to protect us. it’s not a bad thing. we think of how the world impacts ourselves first. we don’t always act upon those thoughts or voice them, but don’t forget to let mike have them. he doesn’t need to be happy for his friends all the time, or rooting for them or supportive. he should have his own things going on.

also. mike’s not a doormat. yes, he stays in derry. but those were life-death consequences for generations of children. it’s really not comparable to almost any decision mike would make in a pennywise free universe. yes, he made a sacrifice in the book but i don’t think he’d just lay himself down in any given universe to whatever fate wants to hand him. but this is where i end this topic bc i’m actually only barely beginning to get to this topic in my own fic!

it’s hard writing the losers young sometimes bc i do feel relationships are naturally a little unbalanced based on basic maturity levels as young people. sometimes friendships just are unbalanced bc of who people are at that time. everyone involved can still be good people in these relationships. it’s about growing together and learning how to be good friends to each other.

for example, in &tfat: certain losers are always checking in with others. others are really wrapped up in their own shit and don’t really notice what bothers the others. it would probably take a chart the size of a textbook to explain how i think this dynamic wholly pans out in full. and yeah, i think it grates on mike a little bit that he is always the checker and never the checkee.

but even when mike snaps, even when he gets upset, i always write it coming out of him with a lot of love. i genuinely think mike, regardless of experience in that fic, has the deepest understanding of love as its own concept and an understand of how exactly it rules his life and and his relationships. mike knows to feel strongly about something he has to care about it. there are lots of things he just doesn’t care about. in the book it’s stated he’s difficult to connect with as an adult. he’s distant. he’s focused on what he wants to focus on. i think mike is actually the most interesting when he becomes a little bit of a disaster man with very little time for what doesn’t interest him.

which last thing, dislikes & disinterests

-what annoys him?

-what makes him genuinely angry?

-what bores him to tears?

i always make jokes that i bring up the nastier parts of the losers bc i love nasty boys but thinking of things people don’t like is as much a part of them as the things they do.

for example, in &tfat, i write richie as making fun of “nerdy” things like anything you could find at comic con. i write bev as not giving a fuck about sports. bill doesn’t care about richie’s music tastes. eddie hates getting condescended to.

bc of the ... kind thing, mike’s one of the harder losers to do this with. i genuinely think mike would listen to any of his friends tell him about anything. & he knows, in return, they can’t say shit when he wants to ramble about history. but dislikes can also be super situational.

again, for example in & tfat: mike doesn’t like when his friends talk about college right now. no one is really being sensitive to him at all. he hates getting blamed for stuff that isn’t his fault, mostly bc it keeps happening.

anyway. i based a lot of my mike (mostly sense of humor and personality) off of a mix of real life friends of mine. it’s a luxury. i know. i’ve been blessed to have friends from literally all walks of life & for me borrowing little habits & quirks & sayings & jokes to slip into my fics and characters is my way of writing one massive love letter to those ive known. i hope i’ve helped you in some way anon. n if not.... don’t be sad i’m hardly one to take writing advice from anyway jandjxjx

overall, as i used to do often, i’d genuinely stop myself and say: is this a person, or a convenience for the plot? and if it was the latter, sigh, and get my backspace key ready.

[kwamiwayzz]

citttrrruuuussssss

I don’t see enough of the meta when it comes to citrus so I decided to ask myself these questions after copying and pasting them from another blog cause why not >.> 

And I may be low key still trying to ignore my responsibilities

–

Main ship <3 Yuzu x Mei (i dont even think they have an actual ship name) 

I’m gonna cut it at a certain point cause I realized how much I was rambling 

• When or if I started shipping it:

Ah...surprisingly I didn’t start shipping these two until a few months ago. I’ve been following the manga since the day it came out and I’ve always liked them but I never actively “shipped” them or anything. Even though I went all “YeSSSSS” when they started dating in chapter 16, I was still just more of a casual fan.

There are a few reasons I can think of to why I was drawn into shipping them (finally...) was that I somewhat got back into yuri over the summer after watching a clip from Fate Kaleid.......*cough* anyway...and started going back on dynasty-scans to see what kinds of new yuris have been made huehuehue. Long story short I shortly got back into MadoHomu and Yuzu x Mei, and saw the latter ship as the “less angsty” version and went on from there 

The other reason I got super into them was that the latest few chapters, and remembering chapter 24, was that I really started to notice how Mei became less cold and closed-off from Yuzu. And seeing her blush and be all nervous around her was just..... <3 <3 <3~~~~~~

Oh and this one comic by smxmuffinpeddling made me laugh (and still makes me laugh) so it spiraled from there. They are a blessing to Citrus. 

• My thoughts:

I tend to gravitate towards ships that have that dark/light dynamic. I’m cliche and I have a weakness for ships that have the aloof dark haired girl who’s usually looked up to or very popular fall in love with the ditzy, but kind and optimistic light haired girl and vice versa (see: Chikane/Himeko, MadoHomu, Diakko {to an extent}) Not exactly opposites attract, but I found their interactions funny when they initially hated each other and whenever I read the manga in retrospect in my head I’m all, “honey you two have no idea” 

i like ships where i can see a little of myself in both characters 

• What makes me happy about them:

I understand that the pseudo-incest thing can turn some people off from the pairing but in this story I feel like it’s justified enough that pretty much the whole fandom is cool with it. Yuzu and Mei didn’t grow up together nor are they blood related, but taking the “they’re not related by blood” justification out of the way while the kiss that Mei stole from Yuzu is what led to Yuzu developing feelings for her step-sister, Yuzu already started showing some sort of attraction in chapter 1 when Mei hugged her to just to get her cellphone. So, kiss or no kiss, Yuzu probably would’ve developed a crush on Mei regardless. As for Mei, the step-sister thing forced the seemingly-opposite girls to interact and it’s what led to Yuzu finding out all these things about Mei and help her with her issues. So, I think the fact that Yuzu would go great lengths for her is what would lead her to falling for her.

I really like how Yuzu doesn’t give up on Mei despite Mei always having to push her step-sister away. As much as I love Yuzu and do relate with her on a spiritual level, I do relate with Mei a lot (despite some friends saying I’m more like Yuzu lol). Anyone else who would try to get close with Mei would either get tired of her for being so closed-off and eventually just give up on her. I like the fact that Yuzu does see a lot of the good in Mei that she can’t see in herself. The whole dynamic of the closed-off, pessimistic, sometimes brooding person with the open, optimistic, never-gives-up person is a common dynamic I’ve seen everywhere and I happen to be one of those people that really do like it (at least if done right to an extent or I relate on a certain level) and also reminds me of sasuke and naruto despite never shipping that *cough* but anyway...

Plus, I remember smxmuffinpeddling mentioning this in the tags of one of their fics, but I really do like how both of them put in a lot of work to make their relationship work. Yeah, sure it seemed like Yuzu was doing all the work in the beginning, but as soon as Mei began to open up and trust Yuzu more, she does try to put in genuine effort in maintaining their relationship (using Yuzu’s notebook as a perfect date template, when she talked with Yuzu in chapter 24 that their relationship has nothing to do with other people’s opinions, asked Harumi for advice on how to start a conversation with Yuzu in the vol. 7 extra, being open to Yuzu’s offer of the one kiss a day thing, and i wish to see many more things~)

• What makes me sad about them:

Need I explain...

*Sigh* as much I love these two, I just want them to interact more with words. Like have more casual conversations. It could be the mundane things or about any problems or issues they could be having. I live for healthy communication, and I feel like Yuzu and Mei are still working up to that.

• Things done in art/fic that annoys me:

So...finding actual fan content of these two, let alone for Citrus in general is like treading through the Sahara fucking Desert 

I haven’t really found anything concrete in art/fic that annoy me...yet but the most I’ll say is making both of them unreasonably OOC. This fandom is pretty small despite citrus apparently being a super popular yuri manga (I really didn’t know that until recently) so OOCness isn’t too much of a problem. I used to be heavily into the Frozen fandom so of course when you have a larger fandom you’re going to have a crap ton of fan interpretations and lots of AUs that either don’t fit or drive the characters being written about to be OOC.

• Things I look for in art/fic:

Lots of fluff cause we don’t get enough of it in the manga TT_TT 

If it’s just them talking or having a date or something mundane that allows them to get to know each other more then sign me the fuck up. I like seeing fics that go into Mei’s perspective and I’m also a huge fan of content that really showcases the support they have for one another because feels~

In fact here’s some fics I’ve read that show some of this stuff I’ve mentioned: 

citrus schtuffs by angel0wonder (literally anything written by smx/angel0wonder bless them)

 Citrus - A Compilation by mikotyzini

The Adventures of Mei and Yuzu by mikotyzini 

Citrus: Fantasies by epitomeodisaster (i literally don’t remember if i read this one but so far it has what i mentioned earlier)

Sweet and Sour by Cynical-Banshee (words cannot describe how much I love the writing style and characterization of Mei and Yuzu in this fic, it has almost everything I’m looking for that the manga doesn’t have enough of...and chapter 5...*dies*) 

that’s all i can think of for now, but despite low numbers of content most of the stuff ive come across so far is pretty good 

• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

For Yuzu, I wanna say Harumin only because they’re best friends and she’s always got Yuzu’s back and stuff and I know some people in the fandom already highkey ship them...however (yeah I’m gonna be one of those people ^^;), in the story I feel like it would be a bit cheap having Harumi secretly have feelings/fall for her best friend because while I was used to the yuri cliches when I first read the manga, I personally feel like the story is already far in Yuzu and Mei’s relationship that adding more unnecessary third party drama would kinda be tiresome to me. That’s not saying I’m not open to it. If Saburouta does something new or different with the whole “best friend is in love with main protagonist” cliche that I’ve seen in other yuri like Strawberry Panic, then I wouldn’t mind reading it. 

For Mei...this is gonna sound like a weird answer, but I’d probably go with Matsuri. Part of the reason just being that they do kinda share some similarities together (being alone most of their life, sometimes clinging to the one person they feel like they can trust a.k.a Yuzu), but I’m also bad at explaining shit so I’ll probably just leave it at that :P 

• My happily ever after for them:

THEY HAVE A KID (i think i came up with a concept for them having a son in my head but i never drew it...yet) 

and they live in a cozy apartment together. Mei being self-conscious about her parenting skills and Yuzu always reassuring her that she’ll be fine and she’ll support her in everything she’s having trouble with if Mei has no fucking clue how to show love and affection to a child, let alone her own. The girl already took awhile trying open up and show her love to Yuzu, so this would be a challenge lol 

Yuzu trying to reassure their kid that while his mother is pretty stubborn and has a hard time expressing her feelings, she loves them both very much <3~

• What is their favorite non-sexual activity?: 

TALKING/COMMUNICATION (wait that’s my favourite lol) 

I’m assuming that once they’re deep in their relationship, just sitting down and talking about the mundane things whether it’s about their day or ranting about whatever, would be something they would find relaxing. In the end, they’re still learning more about each other (and I fucking love that) 

oh and trying new things with each other. Yuzu would be the one dragging Mei to try out something they’ve never done before (I can’t think of any right now), Mei would probably be super competitive when it comes to getting the skill down in whatever they’re doing but of course Yuzu would tell her she doesn’t need to get so worked up and should just let loose and have fun

[missjackil]

Fan Fic is Better Than This!!

If you have ever said this about Supernatural or any of the shows/movies you like, I have a couple things to say to you. 

1.  You’re absolutely right!

 2.  You read too much fan fic! Ill get to both of these points, in just a sec, just let me say first, I am not insulting neither readers, nor writers of fan fic, I am both myself, so no need to get defensive, but please give me a few (maybe more) minutes, and hear me out :) I see a lot of SPN fans complain about the show, for any number of reasons, but one thing keeps being said by the complainer, and that is “I’ve read better fan fiction!” And well, of course you did! Anyone who has a favorite fic, or really anyone who has read more than 3 fics, knows that fan fiction is better. The reason being, is simpy the lack of restrictions. Supernatural is restricted by many things, the channel that its on, prevents the language used, the amount of sex and violence, and even the themes. The actors, Jared and Jensen age every day (im sure they wouldnt mind changing that hehe) the show’s own canon  (even though sometimes it’s overlooked) and the PTB’s desire to not take the story certain places... ie, no ships will become canon most likely. However, Fan Fiction has no restrictions. If you dont like the way an episode or story arch ended, you can find a fix it fic for pretty much anything, If youd like w*ncest or d*stiel or s*stiel to be explored, you need to go to fan fic, because it wont be on the show.  So, really, saying you have read better fan fic is redundant. The purpose of fan fic is to be better than the show. Imagine, your favorite fan fic played out on screen. Wouldnt it be awesome? Or, is there an episode you liked so much that you thought “OMG, that was better than fan fic!” Probably not, if you have read it, and have any that you like at all.  My second point is to say, that you may possibly read too much fan fic 

When we reach for fan fic, it is usually because something in the show grabbed us as exciting, intriguing, sexy, painful or any interest really, and it inspired us to think about it in different ways. Example, I like when Sam has been sick or hurt and Dean comforts him, or vise versa, so I like reading hurt!comfort fics because the show doesnt get into it enough, or deep enough. I loved The Trials, when Sam was sick and emotional, and Dean wanted so bad to take care of him, he carried a thermometer around with him! But it passed so quickly, I really wasnt satisfied, so I go look for fics on that topic. I didnt like the way 12x2 ended after all Sam’s torture, he didnt recieve any comfort, so I wrote a fix it fic. I think this is how all us reader/writers do this right? However the problem is that because we read or write so much fan fic, that we kinda forget that some things never happen in canon, or happen very rarely, and sady this makes the show seem boring. Like I loved the “Nothing past or present I would put before you” speech so much, but stuff like that happens rarely on the show, yet its in pretty much any angsty Sam/Dean fan fic.  Now, fan fiction is like a drug. We all remember when we first fell in love with the show, and the characters. All that excitement and emotion that kept us coming back even through crappy episodes, or even crappy seasons. So we go back and re-watch our favorites, but even that desensitizes us. After 25 watches, even Swan Song doesn’t pack the same punch. So we itch for new episodes, hoping to feel that way again, episodes with such an impact are very few and far between, especially when we have to watch week by week. So we reach for fan fic to get us through, and even though its artificial, it fills us with that excitment and emotion again, until eventually, another epic episode airs, and leaves us flat “It was ok, but Ive read better fan fic” not even realizing fan fiction cannot be duplicated on screen.  Eventually, even are favorite fan fics dont do the trick and we need new ones, with more of this, and less of that, and maybe try some of this thing for spice, but fan fiction always expands, and the show can only go so far. If you were a big fan of soulless!sam you can only enjoy about 9 episodes of him, or you can read 200 fan fics (maybe more) about him, and even anticipate more coming out. Maybe you think Demon Dean wasn’t explored enough? Theres dozens of fics on him too, and how about a team up of Demon Dean and Soulless Sam? The show isn’t likely to bring those 2 back, but you can visit them in writing whenever you want. You think/hope/wish Sam and/or Dean are bisexual even though the show never even hints such a thing? Fan fic remedies that, but read enough and you’ll start to believe the show supports it, and then when it shows otherwise, it may upset you, or make it seem like the boys are OOC when attracted to a female.  Again, I have no problem with fan fiction itself. Its fun and I like writing and reaging it, but I appreciate the great things the show has given us, even stuck in their restrictions, and sometimes those restrictions encourage me to write a fic that would be better than what Ive seen on screen. So maybe change the thought a little. Instead of saying “Ive read better fan fiction” watch a bad episode and think “Ive read worse fan fiction” because I know you have done that also ;)

[dunadaneth]

I think i figured out whats been majorly bothering me lately with rping and why im just not as happy?? and its kinda dumb and selfish and ive whined to the same people about it so ill just kinda. vent here for a little bit. 

my ranger verse is my absolute fave and p much crea's main verse? and its literally the ONLY verse. the ONLY verse!!! where she doesn't die and actually gets to be in a happy relationship. but whats really difficult about it is the fact that my aragorn isnt here anymore. they might be back and we talk often, and they mention they miss rping, but theyre just not in the place to have time for it. and thats okay! real life comes first. but im honestly not expecting them to come back, even though a good part of me hopes that one day they will.

and whats so incredibly difficult about that  is that they literally changed EVERYTHING i thought i knew about crea! i got to develop a part of her life I never really thought of before. I got to put her in a loving, healthy relationship, watch it blossom and grow, and then develop and entirely new verse in which she gets to be a ranger and have ALL the adventures that she's ever craved and it's just exactly what was missing! her interaction and her relationship with aragorn was the exact key that opened up a WHOLE new universe of opportunities that just became so beautiful and complex and just! it never would have happened without him.

its been over a year since we've really talked about their relationship, or them at all, mostly bc i dont bring it up since theyre usually not in the mindset for it. I have so many ideas and questions and I love seeing my partners pov on their character bc without it, i might as well be writing fic w/ no one to bounce my ideas off the wall with and develop and grow. 

and yeah. her ranger verse is her main verse, and in that verse she's with aragorn. but with her aragorn not around anymore....it just feels like im saying it. no one's seen any threads or development with him in over a year and i feel like i look weird and crazy if i ever bring it up in a thread or mention it offhandledy if it even relates to a topic?? 'aragorn is w/ arwen why are you inserting an oc into' but okay!!! i mean i can sift back through hundreds of posts and outline our development, i can screenshot MONTHS of behind the scenes conversations and scenarios and shit. and polyamory is a thing lmfao. 

aragorn is literally the most important person in crea's life and i cant even show that anymore,  in her main verse and skjdgfgd. Even OOC i feel like i shouldnt bring up their relationship to anyone bc again, its just me talking about it. trust me, i want to gush about it and screAM it from the rooftops and i want people to ask me about it so i dont feel weird inserting it!! but i cant and im so conflicted about it. i have SO much shit i want to develop and talk about but. with all these new aragorns i feel like i have to erase it and start over bc like...i cant force people to ship it, even if its her main verse. and most of the people who were around when we were shipping aren't anymore and it feels like im just bringing it up randomly??? 

anyways but yeah, i think thats why ive been struggling to rp lately?? such an important chunk is missing from her narrative it just...feels really upsetting. and im not upset with aragorns mun- we're great friends and i love talking to them. i just mean from a storytelling standpoint theres so much potentional that just sits in my head and is lost. like, i shouldnt really care what other people think bc shes MY character and I can do whats best for her! but rping is a performance that requires two people, and people dont always like that. People especially don't like oc's mixing with canon characters, let alone canon relationships. so i have to be careful where i tread and how i do it.

I KNOW IM WHINING IM SORRY i JUST. it's so hard?? even after a year its so difficult bc of how much growth i saw with her through this. i could never be sorry it happened bc she's got such an incredible narrative and theres so many opportunities to interact with other characters. its just hard knowing all that work you put into it, all the love and conversations wont be known to other people and no one else will see it. i feel like crea's percieved as a crazy lady "hey! im dating the chieftain of the north! i love him!!!" and everyone else is like "sure okay, whatever you say" and shuffle off. im like.......90% sure no one actually pays attention to crea and this is just my imagination in overload but still. Crea does not NEED Aragorn and her story doesn’t revolve or hinge on him, but he’s still and important part of it. she can still develop and grow without him there, and she has been.

*flops* this is/was the best ship ever and i dont think neither crea will ever be over it dfg. i still have hope, though. she still has estel. and I think bc of how much work we put into it and the potential there still is, I'm willing to wait!! And she is too <3.  there’s still so much more to explore!!