#ive never drawn any of them before so. bear with me

[itsdefinitely]

fun prank to play on your friend

[lvlyghost]

In the Midst of War: IV

PAIRINGS: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Shadow!Reader

SUMMARY: Home is no longer where it used to be. Left with no one else you wonder who your friends and foes are.

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

TW: poorly written action lol. Fluff, hurt with so much comfort 🤭. Suggestive but no smut yet🌝. Mind the english!🐸 lmk if i missed any.

A/N: okay so this was supposed to be longer but decided to split the last part for chapter v 🐣 it'll be worth it i promise. next part is coming up sooner! as you know i do a lot of double shifts at work and December is the busiest season for me at work lol, just bear with me💖 comments, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated 🩵

Masterlist✨

"𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅."

It's a cold night by the time you get to the safe house in a secluded street somewhere outside Kaindorf. Ghost grunts standing next to you, one of his arms draped over your shoulders to help him keep steady or at least as much as you can help with someone his size. The mission —your first mission since Las Almas— had been successful until it wasn't. You type the code and wait until the door opens with a mechanic sound revealing a not so bad interior. The whole place is silent when you walk in, mirroring the dead of the night. No sound of cars outside not even the sound of the wind to accompany you.

"How are you doing Ghost?" You turn your face to him, he's already staring down at you, noticing the struggle that comes with trying to hold part of his weight. This is not how things should've played out. Yet there he was. A nasty bullet wound on his left shoulder and another to his leg; the latter being just a graze but still hurt like hell.

"Never been better." He growls. And you know he's trying to act nonchalantly. That's just who he is. Who you've come to know. But his injury, especially the one on his shoulder is no joke. You had tried to stop the bleeding right before digging for the bullet. The amount of pain he must've been in was as bad as yours a few weeks ago "How did we miss them?" He mutters under his breath, no doubt recalling the events.

"I don't know. But we'll find out." You lead him to the nearest couch in the corner of the living room and turning on the lamp next to him. Ghost sits down struggling to find a position where he feels comfortable enough. "Alright..." swallowing down you look him in the eyes. "I need to check your wounds again and clean them up properly, okay?"Ghost closes his eyes for a second before nodding, he's too lightheaded to do anything else or maybe it was the morphine you gave him before, he doesn't know anymore.

Trotting back to the truck you unload the duffel bags where all your weapons and medical supplies lie. Closing the door shut and locking it before returning to where the Lieutenant rests. The lamp is turned off again so you can only make the outline of everything. You stop in your tracks dropping one of the bags and shuffle nervously.

"Umm, Ghost?" He hums in acknowledgment. "I can't see anything, do you mind turning...-"

"No." His response comes fast. "I'm not wearing the bloody mask."

So he had taken it off the moment you walked out.

"Then how am I supposed to look at your wounds?" Rolling your eyes you start approaching.

He growls something unintelligible and then adds:

"Fine just don't bloody look up or...-"

"Don't worry, I've no interest in looking at your face."

But the truth was that you wanted nothing more than to see him. The real him. You had dreamed about his face. What would he look like? The small parts of Ghost that you had taken a glimpse of were not enough to make you any less curious. For all you knew was that he most likely was blond. His eyelashes are so light that you wonder if his hair is the same shade. He has soft pink lips and a strong jaw. All of him was huge. Massive. You would never say it out loud but you felt drawn to him.

"Afraid you might like what you see?"

You snort, walking towards him and kneeling in front of the couch he's sitting on. His eyes follow every move you make, never looking up in the process. You slowly peel off the bandages you had previously wrapped around his right leg.

"Does it hurt?" You ask, taking the disinfectant out as you begin to clean up his wound again.

"Not that one." For a moment you almost forget that you're not supposed to look up, but you do. You were trying to take a quick glance to his shoulder, instead laying eyes on his face.

"Shit." You bow your head down as quickly, apologizing profusely to Ghost and expecting some sort of angry reaction from him but he remains in complete silent. "I- I didn't even really see anything, forgive me Sir."

"Fucking hell." He growled. "It doesn't matter. Just don't do it again."

It was true. You barely even saw the entirety of his face. Just pale skin, light brows and a crooked nose from being broken too many times.

"Okay." You swallow hard, hands slightly shaking when your skin makes contact with his much colder one.

Ghost shifts in his seat seemingly uncomfortable with something you can't put a finger on. "Think it's time to stitch that one up." You gesture to where his shoulder should be not daring to look again. Fumbling with the needle and thread waiting for his permission. There's no verbal answer to your previous statement, only a low hum that's enough for you to stand up and silently sit on the armrest next to him, his face is turned the other way hiding himself from you. "You know you can just put it back on?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Yeah, right." brows lifting in surprise. "Want me to get you something for the pain?"

"Get it done, kid."

Breathing deeply you oblige.

Ghost's whole body tenses with the first sting of the needle piercing through his skin. Your eyes are fixated on your work but every now and then they travel to the back of his head. Blond hair. So you were right; and you can't fight back the grin that appears on your lips. You're marveled by something so simple as that; if only he'd let you come closer...

"I think it's my turn to cook something for you. All this time you've taken care of me."

"You don't have to. I was doing what I was told."

Blinking you tap his shoulder lightly to get his attention. Ghost merely turns so a small part of his side face shows, still not enough for you to see.

"I want to." Even if he says it was his job. Even if it didn't mean anything to him. All you needed was a way to thank him for what he had done. That was who you were. How you were taught to be. Grateful amongst adversity. "I'm a good cook I promise."

One last stitch. One more. And then you're done, and his body relaxes as you come to stand gathering the medical supplies while looking down the floor. Before you leave he reaches out, grabbing your wrist in a gentle yet firm grip. Eyes going wide.

"You can look now." His voice is low and when you turn he's put the balaclava back on. Big brown eyes staring with intensity. "Thanks for what you did back there."

You stutter when you speak, something about the way he holds you makes you forget how to form words.

"I had to. It was my job, although I failed..."

"You didn't fail." He growls. You motion at his wounds, embarrassed because you knew you could do better than that. "I'm here, aren't I?"

Your mouth hangs open, lips quivering when his words reach your ears. All this time you've tried to look calm. To appear strong when in reality everything has gone from bad to worse; it began with the loss of your former team and the people you held close and dear. People you thought would be there for you for eternity. And then all of the sudden there were none. Alone in a dirty side road to die, you guess that in the end there were no good people. Just soldiers following orders. But standing in front of a man who was always portrayed as the devil himself maybe... just maybe not all hope was lost. And not all people were bad. Much to your dismay, Ghost stands from his place on the old couch, rising in all his massive glory as he takes one firm step closer to you. Your hands threaten to let everything fall onto the floor, breath getting stuck in your throat. You're lucky. So, so goddamn lucky that he's your ally. Someone who, in these past weeks has become something you don't dare to name.

"At ease soldier." He commands in a hushed voice. And he's close. Too damn close you feel the heat radiate off of him. It makes your skin burn and hands sweat. "I'm just looking at you."

-

Ghost is terrifying when you look at him in full gear. The white skull mask a legend itself among all the military forces in the world. Hushed stories told during late nights back on base. You had never met him nor had the chance to work with him. All you knew was that. Never in a million years would you have thought you'd have to be his eyes from the distance; to be the one who guards him. Your finger caresses the trigger of your sniper rifle, ready to shoot at anyone who you deemed dangerous.

"Should've brought my own mattress." You huff, shifting your body to find a more comfortable position.

"You've been out for a few weeks. It can't be that bad." His deep voice talks right into your ear.

"My stomach was literally reattached, Lt."

A deep chuckle that doesn't last long enough can be heard.

"If you can't do it let me know. I can take you back to your room, yeah?"

"I'm having a hard time deciding if that's a good or bad thing, sir."

"The latter, Vesper."

Laughing you turn your head, maybe it's the paranoia of being back but you feel someone constantly watching you from behind.

"How's that a bad thing? Thought you liked me in my room."

You can practically hear him suck in a breath and then a muttered curse.

"Not when you're injured and nearly comatose." He grunts after a few seconds of silence.

Oh.

Oh.

"Well then's a good thing i'm here."

The mission was rather simple. Break in, gather some intel and get out. Nothing was supposed to go sideways but it did. It had started with the room where the intel was supposed to be.

"Vesper." You hear Ghost calling you. "There's civilians in here." His voice drops an octave.

"What?" A shiver runs down your spine. "They are not supposed to be there." All you hear is the sound of muffled voices. Cries for help. Ghost swearing under his breath. And then shots are fired.

Your heart races when the first couple of hostiles appear through your scope. Not being one to hesitate you aim to their heads and fire.

"Vesper sitrep." Ghost barks, his end way more chaotic than yours.

"Hostiles coming in groups. You need to get out of there asap."

"Bloody hell." It's all he says before another round of shots is fired. "Meet me at the evac point."

"I'm not leaving you behind!"

Shifting your scope to look through one of the windows you watch as a dark figure runs downstairs. Ghost is trying to make his way to the back exit when another group reaches the abandoned building. You effectively take out the first three men that jump out of the black van. Then another ominous creak of crunching leaves in the god forsaken roof of the house across, rolling on your back your turn at the exact moment a bullet is fired your way, and hitting the the ground where you previously laid prone.

Wide-eyed your face pales as recognition hits your features.

You know him. And he knows you too.

-

His big hand lifts slowly as if asking permission to touch you to which you give a small nod. Ghost is looking at a spot on your left cheek his thumb softly caressing the soft skin of your face. You don't know why but you find yourself leaning into his touch.

"How'd you get this?" An unknown look is all you give him. "There's a scratch, right 'ere." Careful not to hurt you or cause you any pain he keeps his motion.

"Must've been when we ran through the woods." You mumble. "I'm sure I didn't let any of them get me."

"Atta girl." A small pause settles when all you hear is the sound of the night outside. Crickets and the now casual passing of cars far in the distance, returning from work, oblivious to the dangers of the world. Some things they'd never heard of before, things they wouldn't witness in their lifetime. "Better me than you."

You melt at his words. Heart nearly beating out of your chest. It's like your body acts out of pure impulse. Hands —your hands— grab the sides of his neck pulling him down just enough that his forehead touches yours, and you rest there with ragged breathing fanning over his face. Closing your eyes you weigh in your options. Break the moment and tell him about the encounter with the man back in the roof, or let yourself feel him? Because truth be told this could only mean one thing. Ghost wanted to be near you in ways that were not professional at all. And hell you wanted that too from the moment you saw him. You just didn't know it.

If the things you heard were true he didn't let just anyone close to him. What was so special about you? You wanted to ask, but you feared that even if you moved, this thing would be broken and the moment would slip through your fingers.

In a quick movement you go from standing in the middle of the living room to sitting on the nearest table, you shriek as Ghost slots himself between your legs. Seemingly unfazed by what he just did you then see the corner of his eyes crinkle. He's smiling under the mask.

"You're hurt. You'll reopen the wound and..."

"I don't care, sweetheart. I've got you where I want you." A sheepish smile forms on your lips and your cheeks grow hot. "One word. Say it and I will stop."

You nod right before he lifted his mask and his lips crash down on you.

Part 5

TAGS:

@fictionallifestuff

[autisticlalna]

okay ive managed to get some sleep, let's try and explain this in a way that makes sense outside of my brain

so Viking and Ruby both have like. extensive multiverse going on. and all of how it functions is established in a different series, but is still relevant to Skyblock Kingdoms because of whatever the beans Cherruby is up to.

the most basic gist is: they have shared lore where Viking is the manifestation of space and Ruby is the manifestation of time, although i guess only when they're in the same world together? there's also an infinite number of Vikings and Rubys throughout the multiverse, and we have this info because of a version of Viking that has space powers and a version of Ruby that has time powers on Twitch SMP. this is also all connected to the clock and compass that Ruby has on Skyblock Kingdoms, so that's why this is getting upgraded to "oh god this is relevant and i need to explain it" rather than me going "HEY THIS IS WHY I CALL THEM SPACETIME SIBLINGS BTW :D"

for the more complicated explanation, I HAVE DRAWN SOME DIAGRAMS.

behold: a basic Rubyco and a basic VikingPilot. they're siblings! they're also universal constants, seeing as you can't have a functioning world without time and space and these two dinguses represent those foundational aspects. we have no idea how this happened, and 99% of them dont know either, or even know what their roles are. they're just hanging out.

also, like, if one or both of them permadies, stuff presumably explodes. so far this hasn't been like, relevant, but it's been brought up so i should probably include that tidbit somewhere.

along with Ruby and Viking, there's also the Clock and Compass-- the Clock belongs to Ruby, and the Compass belongs to Viking. if neither of them are in a universe together, then the Clock and Compass show up as separate entities. (also they're labeled Tempus and Locus in galactic when we saw them in Twitch SMP, but there was also a bit where the fandom was nicknaming a Ruby and a Viking Tempus and Locus so it gets a bit confusing.)

however, if one of them is missing-- like, say, there's only Ruby and there was never a Viking in that universe-- then the other sibling gets demoted from "load-bearing pillar of the universe" to "normal guy" and the job of stabilizing space and time is instead done by the Clock and Compass, just like if they were both gone. i think.

for any situation where it's only Viking or only Ruby you can disregard this chunk of their lore as "not relevant" - they're a pair, do not separate. this was also the part i was confused on before, and to be honest im still not sure if im getting it right because the phrasing was vaguer than i remembered. we'll see what happens when i start transcribing tsmp lore again.

ANYWAY. we know this because of these dorks:

...specifically the bottom two, but tRuby and tViking are also important here.

Sapphire and Navigator are... sort of a matching pair? Navigator's a mess, let's pretend he's paired with Sapphire. (Sapphire's actual counterpart Viking is missing in action.) they're also the only two we know of so far that a) know about their roles and b) have the powers to prove it.

Sapphire can reset the timeline at-will (mainly to bring tRuby back to life, but has also used this to drag Navigator back when he swapped out), and has knowledge of past and future. Navigator can swap himself and other people between universes, and has knowledge of things going on in other universes involving his counterparts. Sapphire can't leave the universe he's trapped in, and Navigator is bad at anything involving time.

however, neither of them are native to the Twitch SMP universe! we don't know where they're from, but Sapphire got put there as gay baby jail and Navigator pops in to check in on her. tRuby and tViking are also not native to that universe; they were originally from TwitchCon SMP, but Nav felt bad that they're from a short-lived world and transplanted them into TSMP. they're also the only other matching set we know of besides Nav and Sapph, which might be why tRuby is able to remember past timelines and why tViking is aware of things other Vikings have done. also removing them from their home universe was probably a bad idea for that universe's continued survival but it was literally about to end anyways, so,

Nav and Sapph also can't manifest a body outside of their home universe (???), so for gay baby jail to work there needed to be a Ruby for him to possess and, uh, there kinda wasn't one in TSMP. before Nav's intervention, there was the Clock and Compass keeping things stable. (probably a good thing, because tRuby dies a lot and tViking exploded. he got better.)

but out of the Vikings and Rubys we've seen so far, Nav and Sapph are kinda the outliers in category of "actually knowing about and being able to do stuff with their powers". god wait shit fuck this raises even more questions about Navigator but im not going to get into that right now. ANYWAY

so now we've got a mismatched pair! Cherruby isn't from SBK, but we don't know how it got here or what the world it left behind was like. there's a possibility that Cherruby has a corresponding Viking back home (bc she did mention missing family), but there's also moments pointing towards her being solo. also somehow they found the Clock and Compass and has been holding onto them, and they're under observation for reasons probably related to that.

Summertime, meanwhile, presumably has No Fucking Idea. without there being a Ruby native to SBK*, he's been demoted to Normal Guy status and therefore doesn't have to deal with any of this. maybe. it's, uh, getting kinda fuzzier now that the whole "had a flashback to Dominion" thing happened. god i have no idea what's going on with him

(* Cloneby got brought up, but i don't think ze qualifies considering ze was created partway through. and also i don't know if Avid can, like, do that. especially with Cloneby being an imperfect replica, and cc!Ruby drawing attention to the fact that Cloneby doesn't have the clock despite it being part of Cherruby's design.)

you can now see why i decided to include drawings bc otherwise this is an absolute brick of text. TWITCH SMP IS A SERIES WHERE SO MUCH HAPPENS IN IT.

[baby-xemnas]

Sorry if this is something you’ve answered before but do you have any thoughts on how lawbepo get together? You draw them as pinning teens or in an established relationship but do you have any opinions on, like, who would confess first or if either of them would even do that? Bepo’s so self conscious, it seems like it would be real difficult for him to confess. So, do you have views on if one of them got up the courage or if some, like, horrific accident exposured one of their feelings?

(On the joking side, entirely possible peng & shachi, upon realizing all this unresolved sexual tension was gonna get moved to an incredibly small enclosed space were like “time to just sit them down and tell them. This can’t continue on the sub”)

i havent drawn confessions exactly because i feel like if i attempt it will end up like a 5+ page ordeal LMAO

honestly i feel like i change the answer every other time and this will be no different

yes i probably talked about it but repeat questions are fine because i dont always remember what ive spoken about and what i only have thought

found an old reply to this from a year ago

i do have a talk tag where i TRY to put my rambles when i dont forget

to answer your question: i dont think penguin and shachi would do something like that as funny as it is - they would be too scared to force law into anything, not knowing how he would take it because bepo is clearly so important to law and maybe he has A PLAN and is waiting for the right time so if they did lock them in a room together they would ruin it and they arent ready to deal with the reaper percussions of that!

realistically its up to chance. you dont spring something like this on somebody casually, it has to be a deep conversations about feelings or relationships and then one has to gather up their courage and VERY OBVIOUSLY HINT at that "i actually only love you"

imagining them as teens during this

now who does it have to be? i think its bepo who says that he couldnt share his time with somebody even if it was the cutest female bear in the world because he wants to spend all that time with law

law getting hopeful but saying smth like: well you havent met the cutest girl bear in the world yet so who knows maybe youll put me aside

bepo is like NO I WOULD NEVER and starts complimenting law a bunch and talk about how important he is to him (law gritting his teeth not to blush)

law is like yeah same

i think law Could take responsibility and be like YEAH ACTUALLY ITS "LIKE THAT" and open his arms for a hug like "guess we are gonna stay together" and he cant take it when he is hugging bepo who looks up at him like "really? will you let me stay with you captain? with those cute eyes of his that law has to kiss him on the forehead. maybe bepo cries at that LOL

its against bepos nature to refuse any affection from law but he shyly says "you cant do things like that captain" because he loves law so much he wants to kiss him on the lips!!!! and law is like huh?? (cuz bepo never tells him NOT TO do something) "i'm not captain's lover so captain cant do this" "but what if you were, bepo, could i kiss you then?" "what??" "i like bepo the most" and leaning down to kiss him ♥ bepo going full HFSKAJFJFAS????? follows

[woundlingus]

Please please give me disgusting noncon asmobriel headcanons I love them so so much

Ive written this more like a fic than an explanation because I wasnt sure how to even begin condensing and explaining years worth of horny lore I’ve spun up, but I’ll do my best to try and explain my load bearing headcanon about them and their relationships to Lucifer ❤️

And when you’re done, you might like some fics

Godless - Dubliner - Day Dreamin’ - Let Sleeping Dogs Lie - DTTBEOTW - LFGIMT

Under the cut CW: noncon, pseudocest, torture, mind breaking

There was always three people in their relationship.

It all circles back to Lucifer. That Asmodeus was never a big enough man to earn any sort of respect from him. You’d think that you’d give up after a while, especially seeing as how for the vast majority of Asmodeus’s life and death Lucifer was in a box in the ground… he doesn’t though, Lucifer is just gone, and that desire to have pleased him has no where to go and nothing to do but rot and fester, warp into something deep seated and ugly.

An archangel lands in his lap, figuratively, the literally would come later.

He’s scared of Gabriel, especially so to begin with, but at least a little of him is always frightened. That’s what makes it so fun. Gabriel is an archangel, and Gabriel had been Lucifer’s in a way Asmodeus had never and would never be. Something doted on and adored, trusted and loved. Even after his betrayal, Gabriel would always still be family to Lucifer. Lucifer tried to kill him, but that had nothing to do with hate. That’s something Asmodeus would never get, didn’t deserve to have. Gabriel was the looming threat in his basement, the boogeyman under his bed, the thing that could crawl out and use those god-fuelled hands to do terrible terrible things to him. Asmodeus is OLD. He knows archangels. An archangel left that ugly scar down the center of his face. He’s signed a death warrant doing this. But Gabriel was Lucifer’s, and in this twisted way, he’s got Lucifer with him always.

Asmodeus hates Lucifer. Hates him because he loves him. It’s complicated. He was chosen above all others, given power, a title, a throne. He was plucked from the Earth, small and mortal and innocent, and ripped apart at the seams to be a pawn in Lucifer’s game against God. Lucifer had given him a gift he gave only three others, a little piece of himself that marked Asmodeus as better than anyone else, because he held divinity in his veins too now. That little piece of Lucifer’s love and trust. The little bit of Lucifer that marked him as property to be used and disposed of at will. That little bit of Lucifer that made them family, that made Lucifer Father and God and the Devil all in one. You live like that for fifty thousand years and it does things to your head, irreparably. Twists love and hate into the same thing.

Asmodeus hurts Gabriel, because in hurting him he knows it would hurt Lucifer. It was only a matter of time before that confusing swirl of emotion, that hate and that love and that desire, lead him shoving the angel face down into the cold ground to fuck him while Gabriel thrashed and cried. That time it was little more than an act of domination, because he could, because it was one more thing he could do that would rattle Gabriel. Gabriel would be rattled, but he’d still come out of it mouthy and angry as he’d always been. It would take far more than that to shatter something like him.

The next time he fucks him, he makes it good. You think someone gets to be prince of lust and not know how to make it good? He makes it too good, so drawn out it leaves Gabriel panting for release so long he forgot that hours ago he’d been screaming and writhing and relentlessly trying to buck him off. He makes Gabriel beg for it, beg for it to end not because he’s in pain or scared, but because he wants that sweet release. Asmodeus doesn’t give him what he wants until he’s satisfied that he’s pleased that little bit of Lucifer that lives inside of Gabriel, until he watches the bliss of pleasure with no other thought clouding his father’s thoughts. There’s only him. Its even better getting to watch that foggy cloud of sex haze fade from Gabriel’s eyes and watch the slow dawning horror of him coming to terms with the humiliation of what he’d just submitted to, and in that way, Asmodeus gets to watch that little bit of Lucifer inside Gabriel realise he had been subjugated in a way that was impossible to take back.

The next time, Asmodeus make it hurt. It happens suddenly, unpredictably, vicious and fast. It’s over so quickly it leaves Gabriel silent and shaking from the fear and the pain, still confused about what he did or said that set the demon off. The thing is, is that nothing set him off. Nothing made Admodeus want to do it. He just could. He could hurt Lucifer. Wanted to hurt Lucifer for all the things he had done to him, and it was becoming easy. God flinched at his touch. He didn’t even fight back that much anymore, didn’t have the strength to do so.

Lucifer was like a father to him, Gabriel like an extremely distant uncle he supposed. When the lines blur, Gabriel is his father and fit for punishing, Gabriel is his creator— his god— and should be revered and pleasured. Or maybe it’s the other way around, or maybe it doesn’t really matter at all.

There’s a little bit of Lucifer in Asmodeus, the bit that allows him to consume Gabriel’s grace and not burn from the inside out and erupt into a ball of flame. Lucifer had split his wrist and bled it into his mouth when he was a mortal boy, back when he was still stupid and naive enough to think he didn’t want Lucifer to dominate him, he had tried to fight Lucifer off of him while he screamed and cried because it burned, had tried to buck him off like Gabriel does now while Asmodeus holds him down. Gabriel can sense it sometimes when his grace has bloomed back enough, before Asmodeus thieves it from him again. He can feel the comfort of being near family lurking somewhere beneath the demon’s skin.

Asmodeus let’s him feel it sometimes when they fuck, relishes in the way Gabriel’s face and body soften instinctively, the way he holds tighter to his body like he could pull Lucifer to him and be saved.

The next time, while Asmodeus has Gabriel pinned to the ground, arms held above his head in a dim room so all he can see at all is the demon’s face, when he’s dragging that thick cock in and out of his tight and swollen little hole so gently that Gabriel might just drift off again into the bliss of it, he makes Gabriel call him Lucifer. Oh how Gabriel fought then… twisted and screamed, kicked his legs up at him to try and force Asmodeus off. No he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t sully his relationship to his brother like that, he wouldn’t let go of the one little comfort he could glean from this torture. No he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Asmodeus broke Gabriel hard over the next months, kept him so dry of grace, beaten and bloody. His wounds festered and went septic, still Asmodeus wouldn’t let him grow enough grace to heal. He always let him heal, because it gave him a fresh canvas to play with, but not this time. His fractures would start to heal wrong, and Asmodeus would shatter him again, and they’d heal worse. He became warped, his limbs protruded at skin, lumpy and mangled. He’d never known any agony like this, it’s like Asmodeus had been saving up all his worst methods for this moment right here. Months and months… to a whole year.

Asmodeus took him to bed that next year, and force fed Gabriel his grace and all Gabriel could feel was relief when he thrust into him. The warmth, the warmth of his body and the warmth of grace, the serenity of it, the holiness, and Lucifer. He wasn’t in his right mind, he hadn’t meant it the way Asmodeus interpreted it, but he’d moaned it all the same and that’s all that had mattered. He’d cried in the relief of his body becoming whole, what felt like safety, what had felt like his brother. With his back pressed to the warm softness of a real bed that rocked with the thrusting into him, Gabriel in tears, moans Lucifer’s name.

It’s the unraveling moment of them both. The moment that what little sanity they both clung to was lost. Gabriel was gone, a shadow of himself with nothing left to cling to, no comfort down here to be found and no hope left that he would ever go home, because he was far too dirty now for Heaven’s light. Lucifer wouldn’t save him, not for what he had done. Michael and Raphael definitely wouldn’t, oh they’d be so disgusted with him, they’d have to leave him right here where he belonged. Asmodeus too was lost, to his own delusions of grandeur. The line blurred too far, then stopped existing at all to them. It’s madness, plain and simple.

Asmodeus was full of grace, so he was Lucifer, he was Gabriel’s brother. Though still, sometimes Gabriel was Lucifer, sometimes Gabriel was even God. Gabriel was his father, his uncle, his god, his brother, his pet, and his love. All of them true simultaneously, to them at least.

Gabriel surrenders to it, because it’s the only comfort he gets here and making Asmodeus happy is better than making him angry. He holds him tight while Asmodeus sinks his teeth into his flesh and suckles the grace from his blood, closes his eyes and calls him Lucifer, and asks him so nicely to fuck him harder. It only further fuels the demon’s delusions. Asmodeus in his insanity further mimics his brother, until sometimes Gabriel wholeheartedly finds himself confused and more willing to spread his legs because he wants Lucifer to come fuck him, come make it all feel better. It’s not like either of them are ever leaving this cesspool of pain and misery. Gabriel doesn’t dream of leaving anymore, because it’s impossible, so all he dreams is Lucifer.

Asmodeus makes a point of feeding Gabriel back his grace to conflate the feeling of Heaven with the burn of his cock shoving into him raw and unprepared. He wears white while he does it, because Lucifer did it, and it helps with Gabriel’s reeducation. He makes a mockery of the purity of the color while he defiles an angel, just as Lucifer wore it as he made a mockery of God. But is it really defiling when he’s holy now too?

Gabriel is so special. His perfect little brother. The father that finally sees him and wants him and kneels at his feet and sucks his cock with a trained lax throat perfect for fucking, only now that Asmodeus has finally proved himself as something worthy and terrifying. So good, so well behaved. He can’t bear the thought of losing his angel. His skin itches at the thought that Gabriel would leave. So he makes sure to hurt him so bad he’d always be too terrified to try, but he always fucks him so nice now. To make Lucifer proud, to make his daddy come on his cock so hard he sees stars.

He just loves him so much. That was all he wanted. He just wanted Lucifer to love him like he loved his other brothers.

Now he does. At least, the little bit of Lucifer inside Gabriel loves Asmodeus, and the little bit of Lucifer inside Asmodeus loves Gabriel. That’s basically the same thing, it is to them anyway.

[pey-no-attention-to-me]

Jjba and mp 100 for the ask game? (If you don't wanna do both, then choose from whatever one you want to do more!)

OKAY FINALLY IM DOING IT LETS GO

as you know I like the silly’s known as serizawa and okuyasu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

women? Uhhhhhhh hmmm 🤨 for mp100 I’d definitely say tome kurata because ALIENS for jojo I have no idea but I’ve drawn yukako before she’s pretty cool

my least favorite character. STEELY DAN. STEELLY DAN FOR SURE HES JUST SO ARGGGHHHHH for mp 100 I never really hated everybody but Mogami keiji is pretty ARGGG too

I LOVE PRETTY PEOPLE GAHHHHHH Ermes Costello . She’s. She’s just so. HANDSOME!! and ohhhhhhhh pretty people in mp100. Men. Specifically teru I- HES just so. So teru.

UH FUNNY CHARACTERS ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY THING KEEPING MY LIFE TOGETHER RN I LOVE TGEMMM would recomend reigen as a silly and same goes to polnareff like. Have you seen their faces. They are silly.

For mp100 I think the second season but that’s kinda only cause the ova and JOJO PART 4 OBVIOUSLY I LVOE IT L LOVE IT MUCH

whewww remember how I like Okuyasu yeah my favorite jojo episode ever is let’s go get Italian food. No need to explain any further. And UHHHH ONE SECOND I’m back mp100 is a hard choice but I guess season 2 episode 5 ‘Discord~Choices~’ because when I first watched it I SOME HOW SKIPPED THE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODE AND WHEN I REWATCHED IT I WAS SCREAMING LIKE WHAT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN JUH

HAHA IVE BEEN WAITING FOF THIS!! ROMANCE‼️‼️i can say this with all the certainty in my body that MY FAVORITE SHIPS EVER are JOSUYASU AND SERIREI YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I WANT TO RUN THEM OVER I WANT OT PLAY WOTH THEM LIKE DOLLS AND MAKE THEM KISS AND I WANT TO PIT THEM IM THE OVEN FOR THEIR LAST MOMENTS I WANT TO EXPLODE THEM BU WRAPPING THEM IN TINFOIL AND PUT THEM IN A Solwave Stainless-Steel Commercial Microwave AND I WILL THROW THEM IN A HOLE FULL OF TIGERS AND BEARS AND 10 DIFFERENT THINGS AND

family ship??? huh?? uh I guess shou and his father(president suzuki??(idk his name 😭)) cause they end up like.. working together it’s cool ig and LOVE JOSEPH AND GRANNY ERINAS CONCEPT I know they didn’t get much screen time together but I LOVE THEM

My favorite friend ships uhmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhHAHAHHHA WAITWAIT JOSEPH AND SPEEDWAGON because like… the kid saves him right and speedwagon just what is happening what NO JOSEPH DONT POKE HIS NOSE and I rlly like shou and ritsu’s friend ship(even tho I romantically ship them too) because loud extrovert with no friends + constantly annoyed introvert that also has no friends is the best concept ever

JONATHAN X DIO I DONT EVEN WANT TO SAY THE SHIP NAME ITS SO BAD AND DIO IS NOT HIS JOBRO ITS SPEEDWAGON AND YOU CSNT SAY ORHERWISE AND MOB X REIGEN?!! NOOO?? IDC IF THEIR AGED UP REIGEN MET MOB WHEN HE WAS LIKE NEGATIVE YRS OLD PLEASE STOP

like you said before, jotakak is pretty overrated LIKE KAKYOIN ISNT A BIRD AND HE DOES NOT LAY EGGS for mp100 I wouldn’t say there’s a over hyped ship but I guess serirei but.. I love them.. so they’re fine.. right..

Underhyped is definitely koichi and yukako like they’re cute okay they’re happy and then shou and ritsu because.. lost of ppl like them but nobody draws them or writes about them(or I’m just bad at finding stuff 😭)

unpopular opinion? I don’t like part 5. Like I literally like part 1 better. There’s no specific reason all the characters are cool(i love fugo) but it just feel so rushed and you never get to learn anything about the characters ig and mp100- uh I don’t know 😭 let me think OH!!! Onigawara is the most amazing best character he needed more screen time and why did he have to leave to high school whywhyeheyehywhy I miss him(sobs)

[yandere-dark-cupid]

If you’re requests are open can I get a Yandere Zuko x fem reader where after the war he looks for his darling by making his guards track her down but without anyone knowing bc he doesn’t want ppl to think that he’s back into his old ways again and keeps her in the palace

Ok Angel 💜👌💜. If you want, I could continue this as a mini part to part scenario series if I have the time T.Angel. There is just so many ideas worming around this concept and just think of the crazy things the darling and Zuko is going to go through, while also keeping both of their identities on the veeery low-key. Just let me know Angel 😊☕💜.

Also everyone is going to be aged up to 18+ Btw.

Side note: For the sake of this scenario, the darling will be from the Southern Water tribe. If this Angel decides to let me continue this as a mini scenario series, then the both of us are going to talk about if the darling can be a Waterbender or not.

Warning ⚠!!!: Their is going to be some slight Nsfw in this.

Yandere Zuko: A Dragon's treasure

Five weeks. It has been five weeks since you've went missing. Once the war has ended, Zuko was planning to propose to you. But every since his coronation of being crowned the new FireLord, you just up and vanished. It was like you were never there in the first place. And Zuko has been scattering everywhere in the palace and Fire nation to find you or some type of clue. But nothing. There was nothing there. You really covered your tracks, didn't you?

Right now Zuko was in his thrown room. He was fuming- No steaming with rage. If anyone were to walk in to the room, they'll notice it was boiling in there. He tried to look everywhere in the palace. Even outside the palace. But to no avail. Zuko couldn't find you. You've made it clear that you don't want to be with him or any where near him with this type of stunt you've pulled.

Zuko took a seat on his thrown. His hands was on his head, just about ready to pull his hair out and shout in frustration. But then a knock on the door stop him. " *Frustrated sigh* State your name and your business." Zuko said with spite and a hint of venom in his voice. The person behind the door flinched at his tone of voice. "It's me Sir. The guard you put in charge of the search party for Ms.Y/N". Zuko perked up at the mention of his missing lover's name. " Come in. " said Zuko. With out a second thought, the guard entered the room. She bowed down in respect for her FireLord.

" FireLord Zuko I have an update about Ms.Y/N's whereabouts. " Said the guard. She almost stuttered. The guard noticed how extremely hot it was in the thrown room. It was a clear sign that FireLord Zuko was pissed out of his mind. " Well, " Zuko said in annoyance and anger. Zuko was beyond angry at this point. He was a whole entire cluster fuck of emotions right now. " M-me and m-my crew found some people who could be connected to Ms.Y/N's disappearance , your majesty. " Stuttered the guard in slight fear. Zuko quirked up an eyebrow at what the guard said.

Ah. So the guard managed to find the ones responsible for his darling's vanishment, or at least had some part in it. " Bring them in. " Zuko said. The guard only merely nodded, not wanting to meet the FireLord's intimidating gaze. The guard got off their knees and went to call the other guards, to bring out the people that played some part of the darling going missing. The other guards quickly brought out four other people. Those people was tied up, bounded, and blind folded. The people was visibly quivering in fear. They were very confused and scared on what they did to upset the FireLord.

The four guards forcefully pushed the four people down to the floor. Each guard took off each person's blind fold. In front of the four people, there sat the FireLord in all his glory. FireLord Zuko glared down at the 4 people in a burning gaze. So these disgusting pathetic excuses of human was responsible for his darling going missing. Zuko scoffed at the thought. After a painful intimidating stare down, Zuko finally spoke. " So your the ones held responsible for Y/N's disappearance. " Zuko spat out to them with his voice dipped in poison.

" I-if y-you're talking about a someone that has (h/c), (e/c), and (s/c) then t-they came to m-my store to buy clothes." The woman stuttered in fear. Zuko stayed quite and only listened. " If you're talking about the same person; they came to my food stand and brought some food. " the old man said quickly in fear of what the FireLord would do to him if he took so long to explain himself. Zuko only merely quirks his eyebrow. " Y-yeah, that same person came to my Shop and bought some bags and extra equipment as his they were going on a trip. " The man said while sweating nervously. " The same person came to shack a-and brought some w-weapons. " Said the short lady in fear. Zuko only hmmed at what they said.

" So you're telling me the lady you just described went to all of your stores and shops to buy something. " Zuko said still glaring down the four people. " Y-yes. " the woman squeaked in fear. The old man only nodded quickly. " Mhm. " both the man and woman said. Zuko got up from his thrown and began to walk down to his stand. " What should we do with them you highness? " Said one of the guards. " Bring them to the dungeon. I will decide what to do with them later. " Said Zuko. " I-I don't understand what did we do wrong. " Stuttered the woman in fear and nervousness. Zuko quickly turned to the woman, the woman quickly shuts her mouth. Zuko then begins to slowly walk towards her.

Zuko shot one of his hands out and grasps the woman's face in a painful grip. The woman squeaks in surprise and fear. Zuko just merely just glares down at her. His eyes is filled with a flaming rage. " You all are held responsible for the disappearance of Y/N, " Zuko spat out in anger. Zuko releases his hand from woman's face. Zuko steps away from the woman and is now in front of the four bounded people. " Since you all play a part in my- err Y/N's disappearance, you all will be punished accordingly. " The four people only shook even more at FireLord Zuko's statement. " All of you take them away were they'll never see the light of day again. " Zuko said with venom dripping from his voice.

The four guards only bowed and said a quick " yes sir ". With that they took the four people away. Now Zuko was once again left in his thrown room...... alone.

Zuko let out a sigh of frustration out. He walked towards a window that was in the room. He stared down at his people, he was thinking about something. Based on what the four people said, Zuko can conclude that his darling is no longer in the Fire nation. Zuko dug into his pocket and took out something. It was a necklace. A betrothed necklace to be more specific. You see his darling was not from the fire nation, no no no. You were from a Water tribe, the Southern Water tribe to put it. While Zuko was on his trip to help Aang defeat his father and help him master firebending, Zuko found out from Katara on what her necklace means. He found out that from the Water tribe in order to marry someone, you have to make a betrothed necklace and give it to that special someone. When Zuko found out about this type of information, he instantly got rapped up about it. Ever since he's joined team Avatar he was thinking about what life would be like when he becomes FireLord, then his thoughts were drawn into marriage. He can't help but think, his darling would make the perfect FireLady. His FireLady.

And they'll have children. They'll be lovely children. With his darling swelled up with another one of his heirs all while holding another one of their children. It'll truly be a.. delicious sight to see ~ Zuko hmmed in delight at the thought of his darling bearing his children. But... that's if he witness such a darling sight. Zuko groaned at his mood being dampened and soured. But he knows it's true. Zuko knows if he doesn't act fast, he'll lose his darling. And that lovely little scene that played in his mind, will be nothing but a mere fantasy. Besides, he doesn't want to get himself accidentally sexual frustrated.....

With that aside, Zuko begins to start planning and strategizing. Zuko walks away from the window. He calls a servant, he orders them to get one of his best generals. The servant was slightly hesitant and confused, but never the less terrified. Wasn't the war over? They pushed their question aside, because they know now wouldn't be the best time to question the FireLord. He hasn't been acting himself lately and has been been flaring up at anything these past few weeks. With out much of a second thought, they did as they were told and went to see if someone could get one of the generals FireLord Zuko was talking about.

Zuko on the other hand, went back to sit on his thrown. He knew it will take time for the general to get here, so he decided to sit and be patient for him to get here. All while doing this, Zuko began to plan out in his mind on how he was going to get his darling. He was thinking about getting some of the Fire nation's best spies to help track down his darling. Sending out a whole search team and alerting the public while cause some type of panic. Not only that but he's trying to show that He and the Fire nation has turned over a new leaf, that and he doesn't want people and the other members of team Avatar know he's basically going back to his old ways. Since everybody knows the history on how he went to the ends of the earth to find and Capture the Avatar, and he's basically doing the same for his darling. It'll put a bad name on him and an even worse name on the Fire nation. So he'll lay as low as possible and keep shush shush about it, so he doesn't rise suspicion and ruin all the hard work he's been putting in the past time he's became FireLord.

With all those thoughts in mind, Zuko decides to call the same servant from before. So he can see if his message has been delivered. The Servant said they already sent a messaging hawk out to see if they can reach the general. Zuko only hmmed and dismissed them, and told them to report back to him once the massage has been delivered. With that the servant left, leaving Zuko in his thrown room. Zuko dug into his pocket again. He took out the Betrothed necklace out. He gently creased and rubbed the engraving and creases. He took so many hours and very much effort into making this for his darling. Looking at it always made him feel calmer, it made him happy knowing that his darling will be wearing it soon. But then his darling ran away from him before he can give it to them. Zuko pushed down on the purple garnet at the thought of his darling running away from him ( the rest of the necklace's gems are made up of smaller bits of Rudy and sapphire ). Zuko let out another sigh of frustration. He began to think. Once is darling is back with him he's never letting them go...........

My God, this was a boom ass idea. Not only that, but an idea of Zuko having a bit of a breeding kink has been floating around in my mind for some time now. I had a lot of fun with this. Like I said before T.Angel, If you want me to make a mini scenarios series about this let me know 😆! Well I hope you enjoy it. Until next time my Little Tainted Angels, see you soon ~💜❤💜

[anythingandeverything1d]

Congratulations

“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled. 

“So, what are we here for today?”

“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”

She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?” 

“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”

“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”

“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”

“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”

You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day. 

*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”

“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”

“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”

“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”

“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”

“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”

“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”

You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*

Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.” 

“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married. 

“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. ��There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”

“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”

“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”

She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me. 

Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”

You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth. 

“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping. 

“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”

“Lukeee seriously”

He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”

“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”

“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?” 

You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”

“So then you're going to tell him.”

“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You have to..you know he would want to know.”

“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”

“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.” 

You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”

“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears. 

“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”

“No, thank you I’m just looking.”

“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”

“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you. 

“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.

“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it. 

“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”

“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”

She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”

“Not very far, only a few months.”

“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”

You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.” 

You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.

---

Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)

Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.

xoxo

[angelruel]

vintage pt.2

      summary: the reader gets into an accident which causes her to lose her memory. as Ruel begins to rebuild their relationship and recall the good memories between them, some bad ones are restored as well and might threaten their future. 

masterlist

Word Count: 4.4 k (kind of long, oops)

       “Soooo what’s my favorite color?”

       “Easy. Blue,” he retorted while reaching over to fill in a space on the tic tac toe board that Y/N had drawn on her empty lap desk. He was the x’s and she played the o’s. It was a bit difficult for Ruel to pretend to not know all of her tricks she played in this game, but he was a very convincing loser. She had also taken the opportunity of his return to test him on some trivia of her personal likes and dislikes. 

       “Okay, here’s a good one,” she said as she filled the left hand corner on the board with a perfect circle. Ruel learned a long time ago that her strategy was to fill two corners and the center spot of the board in order to have an upper hand on winning. He watched her play the same way over again. Ruel admired her predictability and he almost felt confident enough that her tic tac toe skills returning would somehow correlate to her feelings for him to return as well.

       “Well finally a good one. Lay it on me.” He gave her his signature soft smile that he always grants her when he’s being his sweetest version of a boyfriend.

       “What’s my favorite song? Or, at least one of my favorite songs.”

       Ruel scrunches up his nose in thought, “hmmm. I’m gonna need a little more context, bub.”

       “Okay so maybe my favorite song I like to hear on a road trip. Something that gets me energized.” Ruel found it funny that she was reaching for more and more clues to jog her memory. They both knew that couldn’t she remember the last road trip she’d been on, or any of them for that matter. He was proud that she was at least in a more positive mood about not remembering things. 

       “Wait a Minute! by Willow Smith. There’s one.”

       Y/N’s happy expression dropped to a confused one. 

       “Huh? I don’t listen to Willow Smith.”

       They both just sat there for a while. There was still an apparent wall that Y/N had built up to secure herself from being hurt by Ruel since she barely knew him. 

       But the truth was that she barely knew herself.

       “Well, I guess I did listen to her music,” she dropped her head down. “I guess I just can’t remember it.” 

       Ruel used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe off the marker drawings on Y/N’s desk tray so that he could lean over it to hold her hands.

       “Hey, how about we do something else? I brought back some stuff like you asked me for.” She looked up and gave him a soft smile when he let go of her hands to grab a blue shoebox from the floor.

       “Oh, you brought gifts! Yay!” she exclaimed while clapping her dainty hands over and over. He sat the box in front of her lap on the hospital tray and she stared at it for a minute. One of the things she did remember was that blue was her favorite color. And after having a few conversations with Ruel, she discovered that his was brown. So, she assumed that the color of the box was a little nod to her. She thought that was really sweet.

       “You can go ahead,” he encouraged her. “If you have any questions, just ask.”

       She hesitated to lift the flimsy lid from the top. Partly because she was afraid that seeing the contents wouldn’t help jog her memories at all, and also because she was still pretty weak from the constant dosage of pain meds she’d grown accustomed to. 

       The first things to come out of the box were some polaroids and a bunch of little papers she grabbed that were grouped together. One of the polaroids showed a group photo in front of a campfire with little writing at the bottom that said ‘new years 2020.’ There were some post-it notes with little messages written on them in pencil. They were fading but Y/N could still make out what they said. It was a girl’s handwriting, and there was a little drawing of a pond? Or maybe a lake. 

i drew you a pond since you wanna act like a silly goose all the time. bitch.

               -y/n

       There was another one filled with words instead of a cute drawing, and she assumed this one was a serious matter.

hi, love. i left to go watch the sunrise with coco around 4 am-ish. you probably would’ve wanted to join us, but you look so peaceful when you’re sleeping. and coco said that you’ve been smothering me lately and encouraged me to sneak out. anyways, i’ll probably be back before you see this, but just in case i’m not, don’t call the cops. okay that’s all. in case i never return, i love you. 

                -y/n (under the heavy influence of stella)

       Ruel chimed in to explain. “Yeah, you used to leave me little notes like that sometimes instead of texting like a normal person.” 

       “And you kept them?”

       “Of course I did. I’m not a monster.” He joked and she playfully hit his chest with the stack of notes. Ruel scooted his chair closer to the side of Y/N’s bed and leaned in. “Lets see what else we got in here.”

       There were movie tickets, receipts from restaurants, and even old wristbands from festivals. 

       “Is this what you meant when you said I grow attached to material things?” She laughed on the outside but in reality, Y/N was so infatuated in the idea that a boy would keep a box of things that reminded him of her and their relationship. 

       “Ha yeah, I guess it kind of rubbed off on me after a while.” Ruel reached his hand into the box as well and pulled out a little beaded bracelet. It had a simple pattern of ocean blue and brown wooden beads. He played with it in between his fingers.

       “I remember this. Your cousin made it for us when you brought me to Thanksgiving. She kept running back and forth asking us what our favorite colors were. It was so cute. And she said we had to share it,” he reminisced. 

       He gave her the bracelet which she carefully placed on the wrist that wasn’t connected to an IV. There were mostly pictures in the box. Pictures of Y/N and Ruel in different settings: kissing, posing next to venue signs with his name on it, cooking, etc. She picked up one of the pictures and examined it carefully. 

       “I remember this,” she said in a nonchalant matter. Ruel looked up at her, then back at the picture in her hand.

       “You do?” 

       “Yeah, I remember that whole trip. That was a fun trip. Hmm.” She hummed to herself in bliss with a grin on her face. 

       “Tell me about it,” he grinned back at her. “What do you remember?” She looked down for a while. It was almost like the times they spent together were in secret, and too precious to share with anyone else. She felt a deep connection to someone-whoever it was to make her feel such strong emotions in just the echos of the times they spent together. Y/N began longing for the person who made her experience this type of fondness. The person she was looking for was right in front of her. Why was she holding back?

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       “Okay, how do I say this,” Y/N’s hand snaked up to her head to rake through her hair as she paced in deep thought. She took in a deep breath and turned around to look at him sitting in the hospital chair across the room.

       “I-I want this to be special. I mean, you’ve been so patient and considerate with me. You haven’t tried to rush me into anything at all. But I see the way you look when you think I’m not paying attention. You’re hurting, and I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to finally give in. Well not, finally give in, but. You know, you know what I’m trying to say right?” She used every ounce of energy she had to walk across the room to face him. She picked him up and brought his face close to hers. 

       “I’m trying to tell you that I love you,” she whispered and smiled softly. Before she could say anything else, Y/N heard the doorknob rattle in desperation to open it. 

       She quickly threw the teddy bear back into the chair and tried to pretend that she was doing anything else. 

       Ruel leaned into the door frame and struggled to keep his balance as he carried a Taco Bell bag and two drinks in his hands. 

       “Oh, let me help you with that,” Y/N rushed over to him to grab the drinks and his eyes grew in shock.

       “Well, it’s nice to see you up and moving so much. The doctor was right, you really have been getting stronger every day.” Y/N smiled up at him with pride as they both settled the food onto her desk. “So, have you heard anything yet?” 

       “Anything about what,” Y/N mumbled in between taking bites of her soft taco. She knew exactly what he was referring to, though.

       “Oh, you know. Like when are you gonna get out of this place? I mean, with the way you’re up and walking now,” he brought his free hand up to rest on the back of her neck as he examined her face with concerned eyes. “It’s been, what, four weeks now? They said four to six weeks, but by the looks of it, you’re healing up really well. You’ve done so good lately.”

       She mouthed ‘thank you’ and gave him another wide smile. Y/N was happy that he was proud of her progress. He played a big part of her growth, though. Through the discomfort and the multiple procedures she had to undergo, Ruel was always there at the side of her bed to rely on. Whether she was up at 4 am crying because she couldn’t remember the names of her dogs or freaking out in excitement after being able to stand up on her own, he was there for it all.

       And as her strength developed each day, so did her trust and love for him. She assumed that it wasn’t the same as their previous relationship, but it was more than enough to keep them happy. He would always tell her that he loved her, but she didn’t say it back. He told her it was fine, that he knew she didn’t really know who he was and he wouldn’t hold it against her. But in return, he needed for her to accept that he still loved her as much as he did before the accident and to be okay with him loving her even if it meant that she couldn’t love him equally back for a while. 

       But after spending so much time with him, Ruel was hardly a stranger to Y/N anymore. He was a friend, a very understanding and attractive friend. She couldn’t ignore the burning sensation she felt deep in her stomach when he would cuddle up close to her on the bed during their movie nights. She couldn’t ignore the desire or the comfort she felt for him any time that he was around (which was very often because Ruel was always around). He told her that he would wait for her, that she should take her time to decide if she wanted to continue their relationship whenever she was ready. He told her that she’d just gone through a major trauma and that she needed to focus on getting better. He said he would wait for her, but a part of her feared that he was only saying this to make her feel better. She feared that he had already accepted that they were just friends, that maybe he’d already began a new romance with some skinny long-haired girl in Sydney and he was just waiting for Y/N to get her strength back so that he could go home to her. 

       “Okay, well I have to tell you something,” she finally came out with. Ruel sat up straight in his chair to give her his full attention. His eyes were fixated on her face and his hands rested in his lap. She found herself lost in thought trying to remember what she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t focus on anything but his beauty. 

       “Did they already tell you whether you’re going home or not?” he laughed a little as he went to grab his drink off of the desk. “Did I miss it when I went to get lunch?” He used the side of his jeans to wipe the water that got on his hand from the cup. His huge hand. The same huge hand that he then used to move the long strands of hair out of his face. He’d previously told her that she did not like the long hair look on him and always encouraged him to get haircuts and shave. In the moment, Y/N couldn’t figure out why the hell anyone would ever encourage him to change his appearance when he looked like that. The long hair and mustache gave him a much more mature look in comparison to the old pictures and videos she would look at of him. She couldn’t understand why anyone would want to cut the hair that she so desperately wanted to run her fingers through. She quickly snapped out of it and shut her eyes so she couldn’t look at the beautiful boy in front of her.

       “I really do have to tell you something,” she started and stopped because she was nervous. With her eyes still closed, she felt Ruel’s hand grab hers.

       “What’s going on, why are you acting so weird?” he let out a nervous laugh and Y/N realized that he was probably feeling the same anxiety as her in the moment. She knew that someone had to be the confident one in this scenario, and she decided that it would be her. She took one last deep breath and let go of it.

       “Do you remember what I told you when I first told you I loved you?”

       “Yes,” he laughed again, “Do you want me to tell you the story again?” She nodded quickly in a child-like manner and looked at him in adoration.

       “It was a little after a month of us dating and I’d just taken you home after we went out driving and just hanging out. I was almost back in the car when I saw you run out of the house, barefoot, yelling at me to wait.” Y/N laughed a little and felt the tension between the two of them begin to melt away. 

       “And then what did I do?”

       “You went into this whole speech about how you felt and how you were very scared to be vulnerable because you were afraid of being hurt. And then you said something that I’d never forget,” he looked up at the ceiling as if the answers were written on the tiles, “you told me that the fear you felt only grew as you fell more in love with me. You said you thought that it would never go away, but you didn’t want it to stop you from embracing the happiness you felt when you were with me. And then you told me you loved me, and that you were scared of me. You said that I made you wanna jump into the fear rather than run away from it. You said you knew that you loved me as soon as you felt scared. Because you knew you had found something worth cherishing. And if it ever went away, you didn’t think you’d survive it.” He looked down. After saying all of that, it still seemed like there was something he was missing. He looked as if he didn’t manage to not break her heart. He was scared too.

       “Ruel?” Y/N let her hands relax and gripped onto his tighter. 

       “Yeah?”

       “I’m scared.” She began to fiddle with his long digits and almost felt hesitation to do anything next.

       “What are you afraid of-” he began, but was interrupted by the connection of her lips onto his. He freed his hand and rose it up to the back of her neck so he could deepen the kiss. They kissed again, and again. They kissed until their faces were red and she broke away for a moment to catch her breath. She smiled at him and he looked back at her in disbelief. 

       “I love you. I really do, Ruel. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long but I don’t want to be just friends. I want you in my life like you used to be,” her eyes dropped to her lap and her expression changed, “before everything got so fucked up.”

       He grabbed her face again and began to pepper it with kisses. At this point, Ruel was halfway onto her bed. She brought up her dainty hands to cup his face and she gently pulled away again. Ruel hitched a rushed breath out as he pouted in confusion as to why she pulled away. 

       “Oh yeah, I’m going home today.” She smiled with her teeth and he laughed in pure bliss before grabbing her face again.

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       The boxes piled in the middle of the living room all started to disappear one by one. Y/N watched in awe as Ruel picked up every box and placed it in its proper area. Her legs swung back and forth in boredom while she waited on top of the kitchen counter where Ruel had placed her since she refused to wear shoes on the trip to her apartment.

       “You’re such a good slave,” she told him in a sweet tone as her eyes followed him across the area. He shook his head, barely giving her an ounce of the attention she practically begged for, and continued moving things around. 

        “Honey are you sure you’re gonna be okay on your own like this? You can stay back home a little longer if you’d like,” Y/N’s mother remarked. She looked at her daughter with concern.

        “I’m not alone, I have Ruel. And besides, I’ve already left the nest once before. I should be fine.”

        “Well I guess I’ll be on my way home now. Call me if you need anything. Anything.” Y/N pecked a kiss on her cheek and guided her mom outside.

        By the time she got back into the apartment, the living room was clear of boxes and she moved down the hall in search of her boyfriend. She found Ruel in her bedroom on the edge of the bed hunched over his phone. 

        “What’s so interesting?” She sat down beside him and rested her chin on his shoulder. Once she realized what he was watching, she pulled out one of his airpods so she could listen in. It was from her Youtube channel she started a few months ago. She had faint memories of vlogging herself doing normal things like grocery shopping or going to her brother’s football games. She’d only looked at a few of her storytime videos, including the one where she details how she met Ruel. This was a video she hadn’t seen before, though. It was of her and Ruel together in some resort. It looked like they were on vacation and he explained to her that they were in Amsterdam for some music festival and had decided to make an entire trip out of it since it was so close to their anniversary. They’d coordinated matching outfits for the first weekend and were posing in front of the bathroom mirror together like lovesick idiots.

        “Damn, I’m so jealous of us.”

        Ruel let out a low chuckle at her and skipped through the parts she’d recorded of his performance.

        “Yeah, most people are.” He fast forwarded to a portion of the video after they returned to the hotel. Ruel was in the shower and Y/N was laying on the bed, recently showered, detailing all of the ways she was proud of her boyfriend. He laughed when she poked fun of how he forgot his own lyrics on stage.

        “Well that was almost cute,” he added and locked the phone.

        “Hey, it’s still pretty cute,” she laughed, “You can’t be mad at me for telling the truth, babe.”

        “Babe, huh?” he questioned as he turned to face her.

        “What, is that weird? Or too soon? I mean, you call me ‘bubs’ and ‘love’ all the time,” she looked down and played with the details of her jeans.

        “It’s adorable. I love it. And I love you,” he reassured her as he cupped her face and pulled it in for a puffy kiss. She kissed him back, this time with more dominance. Y/N kissed Ruel like there was a pot of gold hidden somewhere in his mouth that she was determined to get.

        Ruel matched her energy right away. He kissed her back and gripped the back of her neck to guide her face closer into his. They adorned each other with open mouths and full hearts. As they continued, Y/N felt the urge to go further and further with him, exploring his body and getting to know him on a more intimate level. They were so good at making out, it seemed like they’d done it a thousand times before. It felt like she was kissing a lover from a different lifetime, like she’d replayed scenarios over and over which all ended with her loving him. She couldn’t remember ever doing this with him before, but her body remembered. Everything with Ruel came with such ease. Every time he touched her body, she was overcome with euphoria and only craved more. She craved being closer to him, kissing him deeper.

        “Mmm, take this off please,” she tugged on his shirt and he quickly pulled it off before resuming his actions. Y/N felt herself falling into an intoxicated state as she moaned against his mouth. He responded to her by wrapping his hand around her thigh and pulling it closer against him. They both began to move in sync with each other, both giving and taking as their bodies danced a routine they knew too well. Y/N was so distracted by Ruel that she didn’t even hear her mother walk back in through the front door. She only whined when he pulled his face away from hers.

        “Why’dyoustop,” she breathed out. She was out of breath and watched him with puppy dog eyes as he stood up.

        “Your mom is back,” he stated flatly. He was clearly out of breath too and he was trying to calm himself down so he could see what was going on in the front.

       “...so?” she gave him a blank stare and patted on his side of the bed to join her again, “she can let herself out.”

       “Don’t worry, bubs. We’ve got time,” he chuckled to himself and pulled his shirt back on over his head. Y/N sighed and jumped from her side of the bed to join Ruel in the living room.

       “I’m sorry, hun. I forgot the most important box: your things from the hospital.” Y/N’s mother placed a small box on the counter and tapped the top of it lightly, “This is what you had on you when the crash happened. There’s not much in there, just the clothes you were wearing, your wallet, your phone,”

       “My phone?” Her eyes perked up. So did Ruel’s. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. I bet there’s a bunch of clues in there to help jog my memory,” she picked up the box and skipped down the hallway to drop it off. 

       “I’m pretty sure it’s dead, so you’ll have to find a charger for it. You probably have the same kind.” Her mom gestured towards Ruel, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost. His eyes were fixated in thought, emotionless and dazed in a trance.

        “Huh? Oh yeah, probably. Sure.” He snapped out of his guilty state quickly and turned to see Y/N coming back from her bedroom.       

        “Was that it, Mom? Cause we were just about to go out and get some food before it gets dark.” They both said goodbye and hugged Y/N’s mother. Once the door was shut behind her, Y/N grabbed Ruel’s hand with a quickness. His worries were suddenly gone as she led him down the hall. 

        It wasn’t long before they’d continued right where they left off. Y/N was still indulging herself in him and embracing the comfort she felt in his arms. She gripped the fabric of his shirt into her fists to deepen the kiss and felt the vibration from his mouth into hers as he let out muffled moans. With each kiss, she found herself thinking about all of the things she couldn’t wait to do with him before another thought popped into her mind and snapped her out of the daydream. She pulled away from him and turned her head towards the box.

        “I’ve been wondering what was left on my phone,” she gestured to the dresser. “I need to plug it up so I can see what was going on before I lost my memory. It would be cool to see who I last talked to right before my life was ruined, right?” She laughed and began to sit up. Ruel grabbed her hand and lightly pulled it so she could come back down to him.

        “I thought you wanted to do this, yeah? I mean hey, this is our first official night together alone. We can look into the phone later, right?”

        Y/N nodded and laid back down next to him. “Hmmm, you’re right. This first, phone later,” she declared before connecting their lips once more. As Ruel rolled his lanky body on top of hers, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder why Ruel was so against her looking at her phone. Was there a dirty secret in there that he didn’t want her to find? She dismissed her paranoid thoughts and continued.

a/n: okay, so that’s that on that. ugh what is on that phone that he doesn’t want her to see???? i hope this makes sense, i’ve reread it so many times and it seems like crap but i’m still going to post it. thank you for the support of my page, and please send me asks with what fics you would like to see next ;)

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

I know this won't all fit in one ask so here goes! Haha! Okay so plus size reader x jaskier. With some jealous jaskier. And he's jealous because reader and geralt are pretty good friends, but thats not why he's jealous, he's jealous because he keeps walking in on them at the worst times and they keep finding themselves in like really odd situations that can be read as sexual when they are NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THAT AT ALL and jaskier just keeps walking in at THEE worst time. Reader has been in 1/?

Love with jaskier for years, they’re close, she’s shy so now he’s like how come Geralt gets to have all this closeness & not me. So he kind of pulls away & maybe starts mumbling to himself when they’re all together & so finally she asks him whats wrong & he’s like very short with her & meaner than he means to be about her & geralt. & she is accidentally like “i’m not in love with him. fucks sake Jaskier ive been in love YOU for years!” & storms off & then reconciliation? THANK YOU!

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,470Rating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan a/n: I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the prompt!

One of the greatest mysteries in Jaskier’s many-storied life was how Geralt consistently surrounded himself with gorgeous women.

Despite how frustrating and downright scary he found her, Jaskier would never deny Yennefer’s beauty. From the stories he’d heard Renfri was also lovely, as was the sorceress Triss Merigold. The warriors who had accompanied them up the mountain were gorgeous with their long necks and strong physiques. Yet all of them had eyes for Geralt and Geralt alone. This continued when it came to you. Geralt had introduced you to Jaskier as a long-time friend but Jaskier knew better. Geralt would be a fool to resist a woman of your charms and you were clearly smitten with him. Jaskier was ecstatic when you joined them on their travels but as his feelings for you deepened, so did his agony.

He would write songs about your beauty only to throw them away when he found you snuggled up on Geralt’s lap before the fire. One time he had walked in on you bent over a table, Geralt right behind you, and you’d tried to say that it ‘wasn’t what it looked like’ and Geralt was ‘just massaging a pulled muscle’ but Jaskier was the first to know those mistakes were all nonsense. He’d “massaged” plenty of “pulled muscles” in his day, thank you very much. There was one night where he thought, perhaps, he had a chance. It was bitterly cold and you’d suggested that you and him share a bedroll, cuddling together for warmth. He’d wrapped you up tight and he could’ve sworn he felt your heart skip a beat as he surreptitiously planted a kiss on your head. But when he woke up, Geralt had joined and you were draped across him. That was when he knew there was no point in trying anymore.

Sure, there were other things along the way that should have made this less devastating. You always gave Geralt long, tight hugs and with Jaskier you were brief and always seemed a bit reluctant or uncertain about touching. You’d casually make bawdy jokes with Geralt but whenever Jaskier made one you blushed or looked askance. Yes, it was clear what was going on here, it didn’t take a genius to see, but it still hurt Jaskier deeply and that hurt turned into outward dickishness.

You noticed that Jaskier grew colder. He didn’t sing songs to you anymore, not even to get your opinion as he wrote songs about the new muse he had, some woman whose beauty was as ample as her body and just as tempting. You envied this woman more than you could bear but you tried to appease yourself with his friendship. True, you were closer with Geralt, having met him long ago, but the real impediment between a close friendship with Jaskier was the feelings you held for him. You kept them tucked away in secret as you watched Jaskier flirt with everyone.

The mumbling was new, though. The coldness and the mumbling started one morning after you had gone to bed with him. Tragically not in a euphemistic way but genuinely curled up for warmth, nestled in his arms. You’d woken in the middle of the night with your teeth chattering, Jaskier even colder than you though fast asleep, and you had woken Geralt to come help you warm him and by the three of you combined you were able to provide enough warmth to sleep through the night. Sleeping next to Geralt was something you’d done a thousand times, you thought nothing of it. But the next morning Jaskier had begun to act strange. He hardly talked and he looked at you even less. When Geralt passed you a piece of bread you thought you heard Jaskier mumble something about ‘getting a piece’ but when you asked him he looked at you in confusion and you moved on. For a week now he’d been making little side comments, though, and you were just about at your limit. You hoped that staying at an inn may help his mood, that perhaps the hard travel was just weighing on him, and he did seem to perk up a bit at getting a warm meal but once Geralt excused himself to leave the mumbling started again.

“What are you doing?” you asked. Jaskier looked up and tried to give you an innocent expression but you were unimpressed.

“What are you talking about?” he countered.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Every time Geralt talks to me you mutter something to yourself,” you insisted.

“Maybe I have to talk to myself because the only one you ever talk to is Geralt,” Jaskier grumbled.

“That’s just not true,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Right, sorry, my mistake,” Jaskier said, voice hard and sarcastic, “You don’t just talk to him. You also sleep on him and gods know what else when I’m not there. Hell, probably when I’m there too, not like you’d give a damn.”

Your eyes pricked with hot, angry tears and you rose from the table.

“Geralt is my friend. Unlike you. No friend would be so… mean,” you cried.

“I thought you liked mean guys after all, there’s Geralt and you can’t keep your hands off of him,” Jaskier snapped.

“Where the hell is this coming from? I’m not in love with Geralt. I haven’t been in love with anyone but you since we met but you’re so damned pigheaded and stuck in the clouds with your muse that you can’t see anything. Gods, Jaskier, I’ve always defended you when people said you were just some dumb bard but you’re not only daft, you’re cruel,” your voice cracked at the end of your words and you ran from the table towards the stables as swiftly as you could. Jaskier’s head spun as he took in everything that had just happened. He’d never intended to be so harsh, even if you were in love with Geralt it would give him no right to judge or hate you for it. But then you’d said that you loved him? Could such a miracle be true? And even if it was, had be cocked it all up beyond reason now?

Jaskier found you in the stables petting Roach and was grateful not to find you pouring your heart out to Geralt who would likely have murdered him on the spot for making his friend cry, as would be his right. When you saw him you glowered and turned your face back to the horse. Roach looked over at Jaskier and he would’ve sworn he saw disdain in her large, brown eyes.

“Y/N I’ve been an ass,” Jaskier said.

“Yes, you have,” you replied without turning around.

“Everything you said was right. I was mean and cruel and you didn’t deserve any of that,” he continued.

“Too right,” you said with a sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

“And I hope what I say now doesn’t make it worse,” he said. He saw you stiffen and then turn to face him. Your wet, red-rimmed eyes wrenched his heart. He’d fantasized about how he may confess his love to you countless times and in none of them had he made you cry. Not like this.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for years and I never told you because… not just because you seemed to close to Geralt – and I know! I know you’re friends!” he said quickly as you frowned and opened your mouth to protest, “But there was such a clear different between how you treated us. You didn’t joke with me as you did him and you seemed reluctant or uncomfortable touching me and I assumed it was because you… well that you didn’t like me. Much less love.”

Realization dawned on your face, as well as a little regret.

“Oh Jaskier… Of course I like you. That’s why I was so distant. I assumed you’d never feel for me the way I did for you and I think I was just trying to keep a safe distance to try and protect my heart. Which means I am also sort of stupid because obviously that ship had sailed,” you said with a rueful laugh.

“You’re not stupid,” Jaskier insisted, moving closer to you and daring to try and take your hand, encouraged when you let him, “Emotions are hard. Well, they’re not, but we make them hard. We humans are a ghastly species.”

“We are,” you agreed, nodding and moving a little closer.

“So,” Jaskier said, pale blue eyes gazing down into yours as you both crept ever so slowly closer, drawn like two magnets that have been held apart for too long, “What happens now?”

You answered him with a kiss.

[welcometophu]

Not Your Guardian Angel: Chapter 22

Marked Book 3: Not Your Guardian Angel

Chapter 22

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Pels blinks several times as she wakes. She’s lying on her side, her free arm curled under her pillow, the other hand lying against her hip. She aches from head to toe in ways that definitely remind her that she’s alive, but the floating sensation seems to be gone.

The room is still somewhat dark, the overhead light off, but there’s more noise and light from outside the curtains.

Dad sits in a chair facing her, but as soon as he meets her eyes, he stands and walks out. The curtain lifts and falls in his wake, and there’s a scrape of a chair behind her.

“I am never going to get used to that,” Jess mutters. Shuffling sounds, and Pels rolls onto her back to find Jess’s hand over her shoulder. Jess pulls back quickly. “You’re awake.”

“I’m awake.” Pels is completely aware of the way Jess hovers as if she wants to lean in and knows she needs to lean back. Pels licks her lips—she feels like she’s been dried out to a husk. “I think Dad left us alone. It’s a surprising offer of privacy.”

“What does he think we’re going to do?” Jess huffs softly. “Shane’s picking up some breakfast. I think your mom and sister will be back a little later. We told them to take their time since you were sleeping.”

Pels nods. She tries to push herself to sitting, and Jess quickly moves to raise the back of the bed for her. “I hurt more,” Pels says. “But I feel less like I’m underwater.”

“I think that’s a good thing.” Jess sits back in the chair, her hands tightly clasped together. “They said they were going to back off on your pain meds. The Healers stopped by and said that in order to be able to start actually healing, your body needs to not be sedated. So. They recommend against prescription painkillers.”

“Mm.” Pels looks at the trash, still full from last night, and the small rolling table she hadn’t noticed that sits off to one side. “I don’t suppose anyone brought me breakfast, did they?”

“I can go ask.” Jess pushes to her feet, but she hesitates. There’s something going on, but Pels can’t read her expression other than that it looks tight and drawn as Jess bites her lip.

“What?” Pels asks.

“I was so scared,” Jess whispers. “I was just so scared, and I’m still kind of scared because I know you’re real and okay and you’re here and Shane told me you’re solid and not some kind of ghost like your dad, but I still just want—” She hesitates. “I wish I could hug you.”

Oh.

Pels touches her wrist, fingers drifting over the mountain’s craggy lines. “I—”

“I get it,” Jess says quickly. “I don’t want you to do anything you—”

“Okay.” Pels interrupts her, needing to get the word out before she changes her mind.

Jess stops. “Wait. Really?”

“Please don’t keep asking or I might say different,” Pels tells her. She opens her arms as best she can with the IV line dragging against her. “Just—let’s do this.”

Jess’s expression lights up, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she leans in. She moves slowly, and Pels thinks she could say no even now, but she doesn’t.

The second Jess’s hand touches her shoulder, Pels feels the zing straight through, like an electrical shock running all the way to her other arm. Then searing warmth as Jess carefully gathers her in, enveloping her in a rolling heat that pushes in through her skin, then wells up inside of her.

“Oh,” Pels whispers. She closes her eyes, her head tilted against Jess’s shoulder as Jess cradles her carefully. Tightly. Pels catches at Jess’s shirt with her good hand, fingers holding on to the fabric against her back.

Under her hand, Jess’s muscles slowly relax. Breath is soft and warm against Pels’s cheek when Jess exhales. “God,” Jess replies. “Just… I was so fucking scared. You flew, Pels. I thought—I thought you were going to be dead. And I didn’t know what I’d do.”

“I’m okay.” It should be obvious, now that they’re like this, but maybe she needs to hear it. Maybe Pels needs to say it. She’s okay. Not just after the accident, but also after touching Jess. She felt it ripple through her body; she knows her mark must have changed. And right now she is absolutely and completely aware of the way lava bubbles through her, as if she could burn up from the inside.

But she’s okay.

Jess pulls back, brushing her lips against Pels’s forehead. She frames her face with her hands and stays there, staring into her eyes. “You are seriously okay?”

“I am maybe a little shaky right this very second, but that has nothing to do with being thrown out of a car,” Pels says with a small smile. She loves the way Jess laughs at that, her eyes crinkling in the corners.

“Can I—” Jess stops herself, making a face. “Too soon.”

“What?”

“You kissed Shane.”

There are semantics to this. Shane kissed her. She kissed Shane. Shane apparently transferred a kiss from Pels to Jess.

But yes, that’s mostly it.

They’ve already touched. It’s not like kissing makes the magic worse.

“If you really want our first kiss to be in a hospital while I’m—” Pels cuts off as Jess leans in, mouth slotting over hers, because oh, she has no breath left to speak. Her heart pounds and there aren’t any bees, just that lava boiling up from her belly, magma ready to spill over and consume her in flames.

A machine in the background gives a startled high-pitched beep and whine.

Jess pulls back, her pale skin flushed a dusky rose. “Maybe making out while you’re hooked up to a heart monitor isn’t the best idea, but I have to admit, the feedback is good for my ego.”

Pels is not going to look at the machinery. She knows her heart is racing, and her skin is heated and warm. She tries for nonchalant. “It was okay.”

Jess laughs; the sound is as rich and warm as the lava flowing through Pels’s veins.

The curtain pulls back with a rattle. “You two look cozy,” Shane says.

Jess steps away, her hands falling from Pels’s face. Pels tries to look innocent, but she feels as if her skin must be blazing red, and the monitor still raises the alarm from her elevated heart rate.

A nurse comes in behind Shane, bearing a tray that she sets on the table. “Breakfast,” she says, taking the lid off and setting it aside. The scents of eggs and warm maple syrup fill the air. Pels’s stomach growls, and she reaches her hands out, grinning when the nurse wheels the table next to her, so it goes in front of where she sits up. She reaches for the mug, but it’s empty; Pels makes a small whining sound.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want coffee or tea,” the nurse says.

Pels looks up, another small, hopeful noise slipping free. “Coffee. As much as I’m allowed to have.”

The pot that’s delivered shortly thereafter seems far too small, but at least she has something.

Shane hands a wrapped egg sandwich to Jess, and they all eat in silence for a little while. Breakfast is far better than last night’s post-midnight snack, and Pels devours it quickly. She’s still hungry when it’s gone, and she wonders if that’s a side-effect of the Healing that’s been done and her body’s attempts to catch up to normal.

Jess refills her glass of water when Pels asks, and she sips at it, trying to get the cotton feeling out of her mouth.

“So,” Shane says, lifting his hand in the air. “I almost dropped everything when you two started making out.”

His mark looks exactly the same. Maybe larger, but Pels can’t really tell and it’s not like she measured the cloud when this whole mess started. “Nothing happened,” she says, frowning at his mark.

“I’m pretty sure something happened.” Shane’s dry tone has a hint of humor, and a moment after he says it, he’s grinning.

Jess reaches out, sliding her fingers over Pels’s hand, curling around hers. “I hugged her. Then she said I could kiss her, and I wasn’t giving up that chance.”

“Bees and lava,” Pels says. They both give her a strange look, and she flushes but doesn’t try to explain. She’s sure she’d sound like a fool if she did.

“So.” Shane gestures to the two of them as he says it again. “I’m not asking for details on the kissing—the monitors made it clear that was a good thing.” He smirks a little, and Pels tries to sink back into the pillows. “Your wrists?”

Oh. Right. That.

Jess holds hers up first, and instead of a mark that indicates either Pels or Shane, she has a clouded inky spot that shifts and moves as she does, just as indistinct as Shane’s.

Pels knows her mark must have changed. She felt the impact of Jess’s touch, felt that singing electrical spark through her blood, down into her arm. But she’s half afraid that if she looks, it’ll still be somehow inconclusive.

Jess reaches for her at the same time as Shane does. They both stop just shy of touching her, and she meets their gazes as she turns her hand over to show the inside of her wrist.

The mountain is still there, but the scene has expanded with a cloud above, and a pool of water below. Both are patterned, filled in with a jumbled chaos of lines that make Pels think of being able to see the air and water in movement on her skin.

“It’s beautiful,” she says. “I don’t know why...?”

“Maybe we’re each soulmates with you, but not each other,” Jess says.

“That doesn’t make sense magically,” Shane disagrees. He sits back down in the chair further from Pels, leaving Jess to tangle her fingers with Pels as Shane continues to speak. “It’s my mark, and if I’d bonded with Pels originally, we would’ve had each others’ marks. Instead she got yours. And now she’s got mine, and you’ve got… something in waiting. It’s not done yet.” He puts up a hand before Jess can start speaking. “And yes, it makes more sense if it’s a V—I’ve been researching how triads work.”

“I get the idea, mathematically speaking,” Jess agrees.

“But you and her, plus me and her—that’d be stable, and it does make sense since we’ve known each other forever. And we already know that you and I touching each other doesn’t make a difference, because we’ve done that a hundred times since the Ritual.” Shane shrugs, slumping further back. “We’re still missing something.”

“One step at a time is fine with me.” Pels watches as Jess lightly traces the tiny lines that swirl inside the lake. “I’m adjusting. And I haven’t panicked—” She glares when Jess snorts. “Much,” Pels amends. “I haven’t panicked much. But we’ve touched, and I’ve kissed you both, and that’s all—it’s good. It’s very good. It’s different, too. I feel like I’m different now.”

She blinks, because Dad’s standing behind Shane, just suddenly there. “So much for privacy,” she huffs.

Shane and Jess look at each other. “Your dad is here?”

“He is now.”

“Go on, this was getting interesting,” Dad says. “You feel different how?”

Pels tugs her hand free from Jess, crossing her arms. “Like I want to talk about how kissing feels in front of you,” she mutters. “I just feel—connected. Like I’m aware of them. Bees and lava under my skin, pulling me towards them. You,” she says, pointing to both Jess and Shane. “I know how you feel and it’s different, but I’m aware of it all the time right now. I want to touch you. Be touched by you. Kiss you. And I don’t know if that’s me liking you or the mark saying that I need you.”

“The mark can’t force anything,” Shane reminds her. “It’s a suggestion, not an order.”

“I am perfectly okay if you want to tell me how attracted you are to me.” Jess grins, her thumb sliding over Pels’s skin. “If you want to get some more data, I’m all for more kissing, too.”

“Hey.” Shane protests, but he’s smiling and doesn’t look entirely upset by being left out.

Dad raises an eyebrow. “So. You’re all set then?”

“I think I’m okay without more kissing. For now. I think I just—I know you’ll figure out what’s going on eventually, or we will, but right now… I’m tired,” Pels admits.

Jess moves her hand to Pels’s forehead, smoothing her curls back from her face. She smiles gently as she touches her, fingers just drifting over her skin, like she can’t stop now that she’s allowed. Pels feels every glide and slip of that touch, leaving trails of warmth along her body. “The Healers said that would happen, and if you do rest, it’ll help a lot. The more sleep you get, the more your body gets to heal. They think you’ll be able to go home tomorrow, actually. Your mom and Cheyenne should come by later. They’re staying until you get settled back on campus.”

Pels wants to ask what happens next. Whether she just goes back to class and pretends she wasn’t thrown from a car. Whether she gets to relax in her room—if being in a room with Jennifer and Nikita could be considered relaxing at all. That life seems very separate from this one, lying in a hospital bed, trying to keep her eyes open.

“Maybe we should let you rest,” Jess murmurs.

Pels wonders how long it’s been since she said something, and when exactly she closed her eyes. “Mm,” she agrees. “I could sleep.” Which is kind of funny, since she literally just ate breakfast and drank her coffee, but it feels like no amount of caffeine would be enough.

There’s a brush of lips against her forehead, warm and rumbling. Then movement, and another light press that sets her skin buzzing. She smiles at that. “I can tell the difference between you,” she murmurs.

“We’ll come back tonight,” Shane assures her as he moves away. The curtain rattles and falls, then a chair scrapes.

Why Dad would bother to move a chair to sit closer to her Pels doesn’t know, but when she forces her eyes open, he’s done exactly that.

“Hey,” he says quietly, slipping his hand over hers. “I’ve got you. Go ahead and rest.”

“I’m so confused,” she whispers. “I think I like them. But emotions are hard, and then I can feel them getting under my skin, and the physical just makes it all harder to understand. It’s like my body doesn’t want to wait for my mind and heart to catch up.”

“You’ve just described love,” Dad says quietly. “Maybe you should be a writer, Pels. I think you understand more about people than you think you do.”

She feels like she should; she’s spent enough time trying to figure them out, after all.

She floats in a haze that feels like sleep, but she’s still aware of the machines beeping, and the feel of Dad’s hand on hers. When the curtain rattles again, she’s not sure how long has passed, but it’s easier to open her eyes again. She fully expects to see Mom and Cheyenne, or maybe Shane and Jess, or a nurse or a doctor or well… she doesn’t expect to see Pat standing there, the curtain held back, watching her wake.

“Hey,” she says quietly. “I didn’t expect—”

“I heard about your accident, so I took a bus over. Jackson says get better soon. TJ’s… doing something. I don’t know what.” As Pat moves into the room, Dad vacates the chair.

It’s really funny how sometimes he doesn’t mind people walking through him, and other times he seems to loathe the idea of sharing space.

Pat sits down and looks at her. “You look….”

“I haven’t seen a mirror,” Pels admits. “I’m probably bruised. Scraped. I suspect I broke some things—no one’s talking about exactly what happened, just that I spent some time with Healers.”

“Priya said they called her in. She’s a freshman, like us,” Pat explains when Pels gives him a confused look. “She’s from a Healer family, so they have her on call at the area hospitals. Just in case. She didn’t say anything that would break privacy, just that they needed extra support, and it wasn’t easy. But she thinks you’ll be fine, if you just take a break and get some rest now.”

“No one wants to say I almost died?” Pels quips. She’s half afraid she’s right, and doesn’t want to think about it too closely. “I don’t really want to talk about my accident. Tell me you’ve been kicking ass in that game of yours or something. Or new stuff that you and Sera are doing on your skateboards. Or well… anything. Take my mind off of all this.”

She sees Pat’s gaze drop to her arm, which lies wrist down against the bed. Pels doesn’t offer a view of the changed mark; she’s not ready to talk about that, either.

“I’m still pining,” Pat says lightly. “After TJ. I think he’s clueless, actually. He’s either head over heels for Sera, or well, he’s definitely in lust with her. And she’s one of my best friends, so I don’t begrudge her that if she wants him. But Jackson’s watching him, too, and I don’t know what’s harder—me wishing he were ours for me, or for Jackson. Does that make sense? I feel like I’m being greedy.”

“Because you’re dating one person and have a crush on another one?” Pels huffs a soft laugh. “Remember, I have two soulmates. If you can talk to anyone about this, it’s probably me. Apparently Shane’s been doing research on triads and how they work. Because this is a thing that people other than just us do? I didn’t even realize… on the other hand, I had enough trouble with the idea of one-on-one relationships before.”

“So did I, but this… it’s different with each of them,” Pat admits. He’s smiling when he leans forward, tapping at the side of Pels’s bed. “Jackson’s comfortable. He’s like finding that perfect t-shirt that you’ve had for ten years and didn’t realize still fit, and you get the feeling it’s just going to fit forever and will never wear out. It’s like I found another piece of myself I didn’t know I was missing. And TJ—he’s like light shining down on us, lifting us up. I can’t stop watching him, and Jackson can’t either. He’s the north star, and we’re trying to navigate. Y’know? I’m also not even sure if he’s bi or not.”

“You haven’t talked about it?”

“He likes Sera and he never talks about guys,” Pat says. “I think—he’s said some things about how his father felt about guys in dance. It complicates things.”

Pels is pretty sure there’s a part of the story she’s missing there, but she doesn’t actually know TJ all that well other than as an RA, or gaming in Pat’s room. “Oh,” she says.

“Maybe it’s just a daydream,” Pat says, leaning back, hands behind his head as he slouches down in the chair. “But it’s a nice one. It’s not like watching hurts, right?”

“As long as you and Jackson are both okay, then, sure?” Pels says uncertainly. “I mean, don’t lose what you have because you’re both pining for something else.”

“Oh, definitely not,” Pat agrees. “The thing with TJ, it’s just dreaming. It’s nice that my boyfriend has the same crush, and that we’re united on that front. But we’re still us, too, and nothing’s going to change that. I never thought I’d find someone like Jackson, honestly. I wake up every day kind of amazed about it.”

“I never thought I’d be where I am either,” Pels admits. Because relationships are confusing and hard, and here she is sitting squarely between two people who both are interested in her. And don’t hate each other over it. “The universe has a lot of surprises in it, doesn’t it?”

Pat laughs, a short surprised sound. “I guess you’re right. It’s pretty amazing that way, isn’t it? Magic isn’t just about creating things out of nothing, I guess. It’s about everything.”

That’s one way to put it. “Magic lives in the spaces between everything else,” Pels murmurs. “It binds us together, and pushes us apart, and it gives us the things we don’t even know we need, while protecting us from the things we don’t see coming.” Her gaze drifts to where her dad sits quietly in one of the other chairs. “Magic isn’t just about Talent,” she whispers. “Maybe it’s about life.”

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[an-upset-librarian]

A Storm of Ice & Wind -- Part VI

As Nesta and Cassian travel North, they talk about the path that brought them together. 

At long last, I humbly bring before you all an update to this little Nessian story of mine. Nothing like a quarantine to get things started, huh? I hope you enjoy this little chapter! 

As always, if you want to be added/removed from the update tag list, let me know! I just copy/paste and I know it has been a while since I updated so...

AO3

I    II    III    IV    V

PART VI

             Thankfully, Nesta held back her surprised scream when Cassian quickly thrust up into the sky with his powerful wings. The drum beat of his wings drowned out the panicked pounding of her heart, but as soon as they cleared the canopy and reached open air, Nesta’s fear was replaced with childlike wonder.

            She’d never paid any attention when she flew before. Never really wanted to open her eyes and look at the world from the new perspective. How stupid she’d been.

            Her breath misted in the chilled air, the early rays of the sun catching it and casting a golden light upon her every exhale. She blinked against the glaring sun as it slowly peeked out from behind the wall of mountains spanning in nearly every direction. She looked down and the forest was only a dark blur beneath them. Washes of greens and browns and snow mixed together until she couldn’t distinguish one tree from another.

            The sky was a brilliant canvas around them. The dawn blushed into life around them, highlighting the clouds and emphasizing the creeping darkness of night as it faded away. Oranges and pinks streaked the sky and clouds. Nesta was in complete and utter awe. They were high enough that she felt as though she could reach out and touch the fluffy clouds around them. A gentle breeze washed through her plaited hair and pinched at her cheeks. She felt as though she was living inside one of Feyre’s paintings.

            The thought of her sister dampened her mood, but not as much as she would have expected. Flying above the canopy, enveloped in the painted sunrise filled her with tranquility, something she had not felt in quite a while.

            A smile lit her face and she nearly forgot who was carrying her when she tightened her grip around Cassian’s neck. The overwhelming sense of smugness exuding from her companion’s pores quickly reminded her of who she was with. He was watching her with mirth in his dark gaze, an all too self-satisfied smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

            The itching of her power under her skin faded to the back of her mind as she took in the great landscape beneath her and the skies around her. Nesta saw why Cassian loved to fly, why all Illyrians loved to fly. And what a punishment it was to clip female’s wings to keep them from experiencing such freedom.

            They were silent for the first half hour or so. Cassian focused on his flying and the trials they would face ahead, and Nesta relishing in the calmness flying brought her and the clarity she could almost reach. Before she knew it, she was relaxing in Cassian’s arms, the stress she’d felt about her magic and her overwhelming emotions fading with each wingbeat.

            While the air was frigid, it was a blessing against her hot, irritated skin. The brisk bite of the cold wind on her cheeks and her hands distracted her from the waves of power boiling inside of her. She knew she had to talk to Cassian about it, see if he could help, but her damned pride was still intact even after months of living as a shell of the person she used to be. Though, the person she used to be was stubborn and prideful as well.

            Maybe that person was still inside her, a foundation for the pieces she was trying to put together again.

            She lost track of time, lost in the beauty that surrounded her and the comfort of the arms around her and the body against her. It wasn’t until Cassian spoke, jolting her from her peaceful reverie, that she remembered their goals and what brought them to flying further North.

            “I needed this,” he said, his eyes filled with rare softness. Nesta nodded. She could see the stress leave his shoulders, like a weight was lifted, and the ease in his movements. His arms tightened around her as he breathed in the cold air. “After Hybern, when that bastard shredded my wings-” Nesta tensed in his arms, memories rising to the surface.

            “A part of me thought I’d never be able to do this again, to fly above Illyria with the winter winds against my wings and the sun on my skin.” His brow furrowed. Nesta wondered if it was the bubble that surrounded them, high above the ground with nothing but the clouds for company, that brought up such vulnerability. She felt it too, a tender and fragile part of her heart seemed to light up at his words.

            “I remember,” she started, “seeing you bandaged. I could see it, the determination to be fully healed but behind that I saw your fear too. And I felt it within me. I was in a body I couldn’t recognize with abilities I never thought possible, Elain was-well, she was Elain. Feyre was gone and so was my home.” That piece of her heart swelled with emotion and she felt the tether tying her to the male that held her grow taut. His thumb stroked her shoulder and he stared into her eyes with no hesitation or fear, only understanding. “I remember seeing you relearning how to fly. I wanted you to win that fight.” She met his gaze head on.

            “I wanted revenge, justice, whichever. I wanted one of us to come out of that cursed castle stronger and unchanged.” She clenched her jaw and exhaled a hard breath of air. “But that revenge came at a price. One I don’t know if I can pay.” The memories of the Cauldron and the King that wielded it came rushing back.

            The feeling of that cold water against her skin, the image of Cassian, broken and unconscious, crawling towards her as she fought and screamed. And what came after-when she was inside that ancient thing. The darkness that surrounded her and what she saw inside of it, what she stole. That darkness lived in her now.

            “Some burdens stay with us, like scars that don’t heal right, or broken bones that don’t set. There are wounds of the mind that can’t be healed, only patched over. I know, I have a couple. Knowing that I wasn’t strong enough, despite what these damned Siphons grant me, that I wasn’t enough to save your or your sister, it is the greatest wound I shall ever bear. Deeper than all the shit I did during the war so many centuries ago, or even the war we just survived.” Cassian’s voice was thick with emotion. His arms tightened to the point of pain, but she didn’t say anything, couldn’t say anything. She could only listen, as he did for her.

            “I saw what happened to you, what you went through and I stayed away because I thought it would be best, Nesta.” Her name was honey on his lips, and she leaned in like a honeybee drawn to a flower’s nectar. His face was mere inches from hers and she could feel the heat of his breath fan across her face. She could see the golden flecks in his eyes shining in the sunlight.

            “I wish things could have been different for you, but they weren’t. You were dealt a shit hand and you’re trying your best; I can see that now. I know it isn’t easy. I know.” For once, Nesta actually believed he did know, that he did understand. That he could understand, somehow, the pain she felt. Their scars were different, but if she could recognize those marks on his soul then he could see hers. Another piece of herself fell into place as she stared into his eyes, as she felt his pain and saw his empathy. She took a shaky breath and cupped her hands around his face. They were hovering, almost, in the sky together. Locked in their bubble together.

            “I see you too, Cassian.” She pressed her forehead against his and felt him shudder. A sense of ease and comfort overcame her. It was so easy to be close to him, to be vulnerable with him. In the bubble, she didn’t care about her pride or her wounds that refused to heal. Cassian murmured her name, as if saying a prayer and for once she wanted to answer that call of devotion, without thinking about what it could mean.

            “I-” she stuttered, too afraid to finish.

            “I know,” he answered.

            She thought about the first time they met, when she was still human, and the war seemed like something impossible happening in an impossible place. How she judged those that accompanied her sister. So much has changed, but now it felt right. The thread that connected her to Cassian was singing. It wrapped around her chest and brought warmth and something she never thought she could feel. Its melody was familiar and welcoming, and she was being drawn into its dance. Nesta felt Cassian’s breath against her lips. She thumbed the slight stubble on his jaw and took a deep breath.

            She felt his lips brush against hers and was instantly reminded of the last time she felt his lips on hers, when they faced certain death together as that King walked towards them. Nesta jerked back.

            She heard it again, the snap of her father’s bones. She saw it, his crumpled form. Saw Cassian’s broken wings and body against the earth, looking at her with such grief and loss. All at once, those feelings that dwelled inside her that had been calm since they took off into the skies returned. Her heartbeat sped up and the power inside of her stretched and bared its teeth.

            Nesta pushed against Cassian as the panic set into her bones, nestling besides her pieced together heart. She could hear his voice, a few curses and some attempt at calming words but she couldn’t hear his words. Couldn’t focus. All she could hear was that Cauldron damned snap. All she could feel was the memory of his lips against hers, the salty taste of his tears and the desperation they both shared.

            She couldn’t be here, in his arms and thinking of kissing him. Not when her father was dead, her life forever changed and destroyed, her family lost to her. She couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. There was only the panicked sense of danger that filled every fiber of her being.

            That ancient power inside her relished in her roiling emotions. It took advantage of the brief loss of control she had and lashed out. Her skin was crawling and cold. Nesta’s muscles trembled and despite knowing she was hundreds of feet in the air, the power inside of her wrought havoc. It filled her blood and danced across her skin. She wanted to cling to Cassian, to pull him close and have him tell her everything would be okay, but that power was all consuming. Before she even knew what was happening, her body was finally free of his warm but confining arms.

            And Nesta fell.

------------------------------

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[bittysvalentines]

Everyday

From: @ackermom

To: @doggernaut

Summary: Five times Jack and Bitty woke up next to each other, and one time they didn't sleep at all. 

Rating: T, tags: 5+1 things, fluff, domestic fluff

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoy your gift.

i

Bitty wakes to the hum of the bus. He cracks his eyes slowly, and at first, he's met with just darkness, the black streets of New England melting into each other as the bus speeds down the highway. He blinks and stretches. He pushes his arms over his head, squeezing his eyes shut, and lets out a big yawn, then shifts upright in his seat and rubs the sore spot where his forehead was pressed up against the window. It's late, and the passenger lights have been dimmed. The bus slumbers in a faint blue glow.

He glances around, stifling another yawn. The seat next to him is empty. He shuffles into it and sees that Lardo's gone back to her seat in the front. She's asleep, legs curled up in front of her, one arm hanging into the aisle. It looks like everyone else is asleep as well, exhausted from the game, the loss, or both.

He looks across the aisle. Sitting with his back to the window, Jack's face is lit up by his phone screen. At first, Bitty can't tell if he's awake or not. He's motionless, his gaze turned down, and his head seems to bob with the running hum of the bus down the highway. Then after a moment, his eyes turn up and meet Bitty's from across the aisle. He blinks, maybe waking up, before he retracts his legs from the seat next to him and lets Bitty come over.

"I thought you were going to finish your homework on the ride back," Bitty says as he settles into the seat.

Jack shuffles around until he's front-facing, and he pulls one earbud out, smiling gently at Bitty. "You're not one to talk about procrastination."

"Oh, hush," Bitty says. He's nearly whispering, but his voice seems to echo in the quiet. "What are you listening to?"

"History podcast," Jack says.

Bitty wrinkles his nose. "So even when you're not studying, you're still studying."

"Haha," Jack says. He holds out an earbud. "Want to listen. I just started an episode about Joan D'Arc."

Bitty takes it, smirking. "Of course you did."

"Hold on, let me restart it."

The bus hums on, carrying into the night, and Bitty slips down into the seat, his shoulder brushing against Jack's as he closes his eyes and dozes off again. 

  ii

He really tries not to take a nap. It's a bad habit he has to break if he ever wants to beat himself at his own procrastination game. But Jack's asleep on the couch within minutes of coming home from practice, and the cookies are cooling on the countertop. There's bags to be packed, dinner to be cooked, things to be done. Something about this lazy August day draws Bitty onto the couch instead, into Jack's arms and down into a deep sleep. 

He blinks into Jack's chest when he wakes up. "Honey?"

Jack's arm are loosely laid over him, and his answer vibrates in his chest. "Mmhmm?"

"What time is it?"

Clearly, it's a great effort for Jack to untangle himself from Bitty and check his phone, because it takes several minutes and involves the both of them stretching and yawning in the unlit apartment as the sun sets over the neighborhoods of Providence. The curtains aren't drawn, and Bitty dawdles on the couch, staring into the orange summer sky as Jack stumbles around the kitchen, ordering take-out over the phone.

He rolls over, flat onto his back, and he throws an arm over his forehead, letting the over fall to the floor and scrape against the rug. He tries not to be sad for the hours they just lost. Their last night together before Bitty has to be back at Samwell tomorrow, and his elaborate farewell dinner plans have been dashed by a nap on the couch. 

"Jack," Bitty says when Jack returns from the kitchen, covering a yawn his hand. He curls up on the couch, tugging a fuzzy blanket over himself, and peers up at Jack with sleep in his eyes. "I'm going to miss this."

Jack stops for a second before he continues to the couch. He drops down next to Bitty, stretching his legs out under the coffee table. Then he leans over and kisses Bitty's forehead. "I will too, Bits."

"You're a better cuddler than Señor Bun," Bitty murmurs as Jack strokes his hair. He furrows his brow when Jack smirks. "Don't tell him I said that."

"Never." 

  iii

"Morning, Bits," Jack murmurs sleepily when Bitty pushes a hand through his hair.

He smiles down at Jack, his back against the wall. There's something special and sad about this moment and the unknowns of the future. "Hi, honey."

He doesn't remember falling asleep again, not after he clutched a soaking wet Jack and dragged him upstairs to cry in the darkness of his bedroom. But he must've slept a little, even if his night was mostly spent staring at the ceiling and trying to catch his own thoughts. He woke ten minutes before his usual alarm, blinking at the pink silhouette of his window, the sun rising somewhere over the horizon. Jack slept heavily in his arms, his suit draped across the back of Bitty's desk. Bitty, though tired, though listless, though scared, couldn't bear to stir him.

Jack's eyes flutter before he glances up at Bitty, pursing his lips to hold back a yawn. "Mm. Did you sleep at all?"

Of course he knows, Bitty thinks. This boy.

"Not much," he murmurs. He'd turned his alarm off before it rang and tried to go back to sleep, but it just wouldn't come to him. "Do you want any coffee or something?"

"Bittle," Jack says, reaching up with his arm. He winds it around Bitty's waist and pulls on him, asking him to lie down again, to snuggle back into the warmth and forget about everything for a little while longer. "Come back to sleep."

It's morning, but early. He'll fidget if he just sits here, waiting for the day to begin, for the acceptable hour to text their friends and request a brunch meeting. Quietly, Bitty slips back under the covers and lies down to face Jack, their noses just an inch apart. He hums when Jack draws a thumb across his cheek, smiling at him

"I'll be okay," Jack whispers. His whisper echoes in the small bedroom. "Let's just sleep in a little." 

Bitty curls up, tucking his head under Jack's chin. It'll only be for an hour or so, but he thinks he can manage to sleep like this, safe and warm and comforted, despite anything else that will happen today or tomorrow. 

  iv

The sun is barely up before Bitty can feel someone watching him. He cracks one eye open. As expected, Jack is sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at him. His face remains blank until he sees Bitty waking, and then he grins, leaning back on his palm. Bitty stretches under the covers, pointing his toes straight as he yawns into his hand. He straightens out, pulls the blanket up to his shoulders, and squints up at Jack.

"Good morning, sir," he mutters. "Can I help you?"

He's on his way out for a run, his shoes in one hand. He says, "I'm thinking about steps."

Bitty furrows his brow. "Okay. Stop bothering me and go get some."

"Next steps," Jack clarifies. "Far away steps."

Bitty glares at him. "They're called far away steps for a reason. I have to graduate first! Or at least wake up at a normal hour."

Jack makes a mmhmm noise, then adds, "I know. I just wanted to let you know, I'm thinking about those steps."

With a huff, Bitty pulls the covers up to his chin. He purses his lips, trying not to smile. "I don't know why you're acting like you're cute. Get out of here."

"I'll be thinking about them each step of the way."

Bitty pulls the covers over his face. "Jack. Oh my god, that was bad."

He hears a laugh, feels the mattress dip as Jack moves towards him, and he squawks a little when Jack presses a kiss to his ruffled bedhead, still laughing as he touches Bitty. It reverberates through him, and Bitty's heart does a few little spins.

"Go back to sleep," Jack murmurs when he pulls away. Bitty peeks out from under the covers. He blinks softly into the dawn as Jack slips into his shoes and stands, still smiling down at him. "I'll be back when you wake up."

  v

Morning comes too soon. As he wakes, Bitty can still taste the red wine on his lips from the rehearsal dinner. He tries to ignore it, but the room grows light too fast, the world around them coming to life as they are still finding their ways back from the deepest parts of dreams. Something in him begs to go back to sleep, but this day has been far too long in the making. When Bitty opens his eyes, he can't believe it's finally here.

From the other side of the bed, Jack is gazing back at him. 

"Morning," he says softly, his head pressed deeply into the pillow. He glows in the sunlight that's streaming into the hotel room, casting warm squares of light across his bare skin. He's like a dream, and so will waking up with him be from this day forward.

"G'morning," Bitty mutters. He pushes hand back through his mussed hair and shuffles against his pillow so he can see Jack better. He can't help but smile a little. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Jack smiles back.

"Bits," he murmurs, his eyes softening, "I've been ready to marry you since the first time we kissed."

"Stop it," Bitty exclaims. He grins, flushing. "You can't chirp me like that on our wedding day."

"I'm not chirping you," Jack says. He stretches an arm out, his fingers brushing across Bitty's wrist where he's holding onto the covers; Bitty lets go, and Jack twines their fingers together. He smirks. "Unless you want me to."

Bitty laughs. "Only for the rest of my life." 

  +

At some point, Jack gets up. 

Bitty's head jerks up when he feels the mattress dip. He blinks into the low light, and it's just his husband, stepping gingerly onto the floor and moving around the front of the bed with his hands covering a yawn. He sees Bitty watching him from the corner of his eye, and he mouths coffee before tiptoeing in the hallway.

"It's almost five," Jack murmurs when he returns. The bedroom is still and quiet, the off-white walls nearly purple in the darkness. He hands one mug to Bitty; he's taken the liberty of adding a sweet creamer, which Bitty gladly accepts. "That's a good two hours."

Bitty holds the steaming mug close to his lips. "It's a miracle, is what it is."

The bassinet lies quietly at the foot of the bed. Jack moves around it carefully, his socks soft on the floor, and when he slips back into the bed next to Bitty, they both let out a deep breath, coffee mugs clutched in their hands.

"Well," Bitty murmurs as Jack sips his coffee. "This is it, I guess. This is the rest of our lives."

He feels Jack smile at him. "What? Loving and caring for our family?"

"Not sleeping is what I meant," Bitty says. He glances sideways at Jack, smirking. "But yeah, I guess that counts too."

The baby stirs. He holds his breath, but the for the first time all night, she remains quiet; instead, she peers up at them with her hand in her mouth, blinking slowly.

"Hmm," he hears Jack murmur. "Well, we've had enough sleep."

[booksbookandmorebooks]

Emma in the night Book review.

Hello there my lovelies, I know its been a little while since I last posted and I have honestly missed doing this so much, so thank you to anyone still here and still supporting me, it means the absolute world. 

As everyone is fully aware 2020 was an awful one but hopefully this year we can aim for a little more positivity and happiness, which is why im back today with a review of my first read of this year and bloody hell did I pick a goodun! So this is my first review for my first book of 2021, enjoy! 

The writing style

One of my favourite things about this book was the different points of view you get to experience and how well they mesh together. For example, we are told very early on that the events Cass is recalling aren’t exactly what you would call accurate and that she has spent months planning and creating this false narrative in an order to manipulate the people she's describing them to (which in itself is something I always get drawn into, the mystery and the need to figure out the characters motives and intentions along side the biggest question of all WHY?! Which is a question will find yourself screaming at the pages) This is made very apparent from the use of the choppy and restrictive way that these scenes are written. Wendy also somehow manages to create a feeling of desperation and messiness whilst having the characters maintaining such a mellow and collected exterior, you know the calm before the storm! Which is such a jarring feeling but one that realty captured and immersed me. A feeling I don’t think is easy to convey through a book format. That in itself is a testament to Wendy’s talent as a writer.

When you compare Cass’ chapters and inner dialogue to detective Abby’s they are so different but when they are looked at side by side they create a very interesting contrast that as I said before works so well, while there is a calm chaos to Cass’ words there is in turn a very structured and balanced feel to Abby's, almost a little detached like you were reading sections cut directly from a police case file. Through this constant difference in characters POVS the story flowed flawlessly and at the perfect pace for a thriller book. 

The climax of the book was not just shocking but also depicted so well in how the writing matched the pace of the reveal, the whole book alternates between cass and Abby with each chapter assigned to one of the characters but towards the end you see that the different POVs are whittled down to single sentences or just a few paragraphs that get shorter and shorter as the tension builds, creating this intense feeling of panic, alert and fear. A method that I swear had my heart physically racing at the end! It was like watching a classic cat and mouse scene play out in my hands/

I also have to mention that very last chapter. I'm sorry for waffling on but please bare with me. For a book based around secrets and deception the ending was that of a perfect one because of its ability to make you feel like after reading it you now share a secret with Cass and you are now part of this extremely messed up story and family, you have this understanding of her whole character and her motives which really brings everything full circle.

The character development:

The character development in this book is one of the best ive seen in awhile with each character being incredibly layered and yet undeniably flawed. Its done in such a human way that it doesn’t feel too far fetched like some thrillers ive read in recent years. Ensuring that all of the emotions tied in with said characters hit 10 times harder than that of those very basic 2 dimensional characters, even the worst people in this story have a difficult background or some type of abusive past, just a catalyst for their behaviours and characteristics and by gradually being informed of them you and being given the bigger picture you almost create an individual relationship and opinion on them ranging from hatred to pity. We get amazing development in every single one even the seemingly unimportant ones because even they are given enough backstory to still secure a connection of some kind with them, something I know we can all appreciate as readers.

The relationships.

The main relationship ill focus on is that of the sisters Cass and Emma. I know there are a lot of relationships in this book that over lap and intertwine in really interesting and sometimes awful ways but as these two characters are the basis of our main storyline it makes a little more sense to focus the attention on them

As a huge plot point throughout the story we see that due to the actions of their mother and her lack of genuine maternal instinct and well, love we see the girls in this constant battle of who can earn their mothers love trust and affections first. Which was so heart breaking to read, through their mothers constant manipulation and abuse we see them fighting the resentment and distance that they know is growing between them and sadly a lot of the time losing because of Mrs. Martins influence and involvement. Its very obvious when reading about their mother that her abuse is based around the fear she feels at the idea of any kind of alliance that the girls could potentially form with each other, god forbid they turn against her and out her as a bad mother! So she decides its easier to create a wedge between the two of them by openly favouring one over the other which unfortunately results in a lot of cruel actions from Emma direct at Cass, creating another toxic relationship and situation for the girls to live in. Although we do get the occasional glimpse at these really beautiful and raw moments of sisterhood and love they share deep down. After seeing so much pain in their story it made these moments just that little bit more special and down right beautiful which was a part that i especially adored.

The themes:

In its relatively short amount of pages this book manages to explore a huge variety of themes from love and obsession to betrayal abuse and manipulation, which lets be honest is everything you want in a good thriller book but usually when a writer takes on this many themes I always find some of them are either touched upon very quickly then dismissed and never revisited or thought of again or done so badly with such a lack of care that its obvious they were just included for the author to be able to say they've hit all the key themes a reader would expect a good thriller to hit. Yet Wendy manages to not only explore all of these and more, but manages to do it well and so subtly you don't notice until you sit back and think about them all which to me just shows a writers real talent.

The psychology:

Another huge part of this book and something I adored were the analysis parts of the book, the in-depth look into narcissism and its effects on the children it surrounds.  We are constantly listening to Detective Abby explaining and exploring the characteristics of the people Cass is talking about in her chapters, exploring the connections and the risk factors associated with such a serious disorder as narcissistic personality disorder. I found this to give the story and writing some real merit, it felt like i was reading a psychology book and getting down to the real science of why characters work the way they do and giving the reader a chance to explore it themselves instead of just being told this person has this which is something I cant stand in books. Instead of investing time and effort into helping guide you to a conclusion or even showing you they just tell you this is how it is and expect that to be enough. So frustrating! None the less, this is something I haven't experienced in another book and a technique I hope to see more of!

Similar books:

When reading this I got very strong sharp objects vibes, the fractured relationship between families, focusing on mother and daughter, a highly manipulative mother, an obsession with public facades and the desperate need to keep up appearances and so much more! If you liked sharp objects you will love this, as Emma in the night has all of the important story beats and intrigue that sharp objects has but more intensity and a faster paced story something I felt was missing when I read SO’S.

Over all I adored this book, as you can probably tell and considering it is my first Wendy walker book I can safely say i have fallen in love! I can promise you now this will not be my last read from her collection. I was captivated by her story and her writing which is why i couldn’t recommend this more!

A very very easy 5/5. 

so that's it, thanks for reading my review, i really hope you enjoyed it! sorry if I waffled at all its been awhile since ive written any reviews and am still getting my bearings with it again so please be patient with me. Hope you have a fab week my lovelies, Bye!

[takadasaiko]

Love Me Twice: Chapter Three

FFN II AO3

Chapter Summary: Red discovers that Tom is missing and tracks him down to St Regis while Tom looks for any answers he can find.

-----

Chapter Three

No one met him at the door. Not Benny, the guard who was always looking for his first chance to grab a morning smoke or Lomay who you could set a clock by the last weeks. Reddington risked a glance back at Dembe only to find the younger man brushing past him and taking the lead. It was clear something was off, even if he didn't have his gun drawn yet.

That changed for both of them as soon as they rounded into the hallway to see a figure laid out, white sheet covering him. They moved with a synchronicity that spoke of their years working together, Red clearing the rest of the hall and pressing the up button on the elevator at the other end before moving past to where Dembe had his cell phone pressed to his ear. "Dr Lomay isn't answering and Dr Chen's phone rolls straight to voicemail."

"Elizabeth," Reddington breathed, her name rolling off his tongue with no small amount of desperation in it. If she'd been saved only to lose her here, he didn't think he could bear it. Not again.

Dembe cleared the stairwell, Red following at his heels, and then to the second floor hallway once they reached it. It was there that any restraint dissipated and the Concierge of Crime tore past him with the single goal of reaching Elizabeth's room. The door stood slightly ajar, movement barely visible, and he swung into the room with his gun raised. Melissa Lomay let out a startled sound and dropped the bag of fluids she'd been replacing on Elizabeth's IV rack.

Reddington instantly lowered his weapon. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"I've been a little busy," the doctor snapped, reaching to check the bag. Once she was convinced it was undamaged, she continued replacing the depleted one.

"What happened?"

She shot him a look, but answered. "Best I can tell Mr Keen finally had enough of the secrets."

"What?"

"He's gone. Daniel has a concussion from where Keen attacked him in the stairwell and Benny, as I'm sure you saw, is dead. His gun is missing."

"And Elizabeth?"

"Slept through it all."

Red finally loosed a breath, but turned a sharp glare on the doctor half a second later. "He was supposed to be sedated."

"He was. Steadily. Apparently he found a way around that on top of the typical limitations of someone with injuries like his. It was a move of a desperate man. We warned you that what you were attempting with Andrei was -"

"Yes, you've said as much," Reddington grumbled, waving her off. That was neither here nor there at this point. The key was finding Tom before he hurt himself further. Red had seen the blood stains against the wall like a man trying to keep himself on his feet as he stumbled towards the door. He just hadn't known it was Elizabeth's husband that had left them there.

"I have the footage," Dembe said from behind and Red turned. He hadn't even heard him leave.

He took the offered tablet and watched the four squares of recorded footage. Tom making his way down the hall from his room to Elizabeth's and then out again just a handful of moments later. The second box showed him exiting into the hallway below and the third box showing him stumbling into the street just outside of the building, a phone pressed to his ear. Chen's, Reddington suspected. It was likely in pieces now and impossible to trace. The last box showed a steady stream of the back alley, Tom never making it around that way.

"Get this footage to Glen. Have him trace Tom's path."

"Of course."

"If we don't find him soon, we won't find him at all."

                                                       --------

He thought he remembered someone ushering him into a car. Someone greeting him by name, hands on him to guide him, and then stretches of nothing. He thought he might have woken up here and there, but it was all interwoven with shadows of faces he couldn't quite see and voices he couldn't quite hear. There was one that was a little louder, a little more clear, and she called his name even if it wasn't Jacob. Somehow he knew it was his name, but even she faded eventually.

By the time Jacob's eyes slid open again, the sound of medical equipment all around, the dreams were gone. He knew he'd had them, but they were lost to the fog of his mind. Everything was by the time he pried his eyes open again.

"Welcome back, Mr Phelps."

"Hank," Jacob croaked, his throat dry and scratchy as he looked up at a familiar face. Hank Rogers had been over St Regis' medical facilities since before even Jacob had arrived years before. The man had patched him up more times than he could remember and if his surroundings were anything to go by he'd done it yet again. "What happened?"

There was a moment of hesitation and a flash of uncertainty. "You called for… an extraction. Do you remember what happened?"

Jacob grimaced and forced himself to think through the pain medication. "I woke up in this building."

"A hospital?"

"Sort of. Not public. I think they told me I'd been working a job, but I can't remember. Everything's fuzzy." He turned blue eyes to meet a set of dark brown. "Was I working a job? Hell, Bud's gonna kill me. How bad did I botch it?"

Hank's bushy brows drew together and the corners of his lips dipped low in a frown. "Let's worry about getting you well before we worry about… that, shall we?"

The door behind him slid open and Jacob struggled to see who was making their way in.

"He needs to rest," Hank greeted the person and finally shifted enough for Jacob to see Gina Zanetakos.

"How is he?"

"Confused, just like you said," the doctor murmured very softly, but not so much that Jacob couldn't make the words out.

"I'm right here," he grumbled and Gina's gaze snapped to meet his.

"What happened?" Her tone was strange. Cautious. Like she was waiting for him to take the lead so she knew which direction to lean.

"I don't know."

"You said you lost time."

"Yeah."

"How much?"

"I don't know."

"There's a lot you don't know."

"Gina," Hank snapped softly and turned his attention back to Jacob. "What year is it?"

A memory flashed through the fog. "The doctors that were holding me kept asking me the same thing."

Gina crossed her arms across her chest, impatience written in every line of her pretty features. "Did you give them an answer or jerk them around too?"

"'08," Jacob growled, matching her level of irritation, but just like that hers vanished and was replaced with surprise.

"2008?"

"No. Nineteen. Of course two-thousand."

"Jacob, look at me," Hank instructed, but as Jacob did he didn't like the older man's expression. "It's 2017. December."

Even with the firm mattress of the bed beneath him, Jacob felt his world shift. "What?"

"Two-thousand-seventeen," Gina stressed. Hank shot her a warning look.

"No. No… that's not…"

"It's alright," Hank promised, his voice soothing. "We did a pretty thorough exam when you came in, but we'll get to the bottom of this." He reached over to one of the many machines off to the side and Jacob heard a familiar woosh. Great. He'd made it out, made it back to St Regis, but nothing had changed. No answers and medication. Apparently that was everyone's answer to everything, he thought bitterly as he slipped under again.

                                                      --------

"You said there was no sign of head trauma," Gina growled as she blew through the door to her office. McCready's old office. The one she'd taken over after she'd put a bullet in his chest to save Jacob's life. Thankless bastard.

"We're still running tests," Rogers said, his tone holding a calculated level of patience. "Right now he needs rest. If he's staying, that is."

Gina turned and shot him an irritated look. "Find out what happened, how much time he's lost, and if he'll get it back." There was a stretch of silence and she could practically feel the disapproval rolling off of him even if the doctor kept his expression even. He would have made a fair operative if that had been the path he had chosen. He was also one of the only people left on the St Regis campus that survived her restructuring after she had taken McCready's place. He had earned it and he'd proven loyal, but he'd always been much more loyal to the individual operatives in his care than the institute on whole. "What?"

"May I speak freely?"

"Won't you anyway?"

A soft sound might have been a chuckle if not for the frown that had finally broken through. "I see what you're thinking."

"Do you now?"

"And I know how close you two were. I'm sure you've missed him -" she snorted at the statement and he shot her a pointed look - "even if you won't admit it. But Jacob made his choice, even if you and I are the only ones left here that remember it."

"A choice The Major put a price on his head for. Are you suggesting I finish it?"

"I'm suggesting you get word to his wife."

"She's a fed."

"She's his wife. Not a mark, not a job. A woman that, of all people, Jacob Phelps broke ranks for. She must be special."

Gina's gaze swept over him, taking every inch of his expression in. He was good. Careful. He didn't push on things unless he felt it down to his soul. On most days she found a strange sort of respect in that. Not today.

She leaned in, her words enunciated as she spoke. "I don't care."

"And if he remembers?"

"Find out if he will."

"And if he doesn't, what? You'll just keep him here?"

She shrugged, idly picking up a paperweight from her desk. "If he doesn't, he'll make us a lot of money just like he did before."

                                                      --------

Glen Carter was one of the more obnoxious individuals that Red had ever come across. The man riled him up for sport, jerking him around with his pathological lies and wild excuses, but in the end he was still the most talented tracker that Reddington knew.

He had uncovered footage of a man that had parked a block down from the building that Red had been using to keep the Keens safely hidden away. The man had gotten out and moved out of the camera's line of sight, but when he returned he was supporting a familiar figure all the way to the passenger's side.

The camera had only caught one usable angle of their mystery man, Glen had argued, and that's why it had taken time. Even so, nearly two weeks after Tom had managed his messy escape - and Reddington had moved Elizabeth, not willing to risk underestimating him again - Glen had found the location of the man that had picked him up. Not Tom himself, but it was a start.

Brimley was sitting in a chair outside of a closed door when Reddington arrived, breathing deeply from his oxygen tank, and his focus on the task was absolute.

"Has he given you a location yet?"

Brimley took one more long breath before removing the mask from his nose and mouth. "Took some work, but training only takes ya so far. Hit just the right nerve and he sang like my Aunt Myrtle's yellow canary."

"And?" Red pressed, an uncomfortable feeling tightening his chest at the look he received.

"He's ready for you. Switch is on the right."

Reddington gave him a brief, terse nod before moving into the room. It was quiet inside - eerily so - and pitch black so that the light from outside the door flooded in like a tidal wave, leaving the hunched figure in the corner curling in on himself a little more. Reddington reached over without looking, and even he had to wince as the lights snapped on at top voltage.

Their man - Eric Sneider seemed to be the final consensus, though the man appeared to have his pick of names he chose from on a regular basis - yelped at the sudden illumination. It was a wonder. Teddy had had him five hours at the most. How he did it, Red would never know.

Nor did he care right then.

He moved towards the trembling man, his steps slow and deliberate, and he made sure that the legs of the metal chair scraped loudly across the concrete floor as he pulled it towards him and took a seat. "Mr Sneider. Do you know who I am?"

The man finally uncurled just a little from his ball of fear to turn wide, red-rimmed eyes on him. His jaw dropped a little. "You're Raymond Reddington," he managed, a sense of awe in his tone.

"Yes."

"What do you want with me?"

"Tom Keen."

"I… I don't know who that is."

Red tilted his head to the side, considering. No. He wouldn't, would he. "Jacob Phelps then."

Sneider flinched back. "I don't—"

"I would think long and hard before lying to me, Mr Sneider."

"I can't. She'll kill me if I talk. "

"And I'll kill you if you don't, though I'd say I pose the more immediate threat," Red said as he pulled his gun from the holster and placed it on his knee.

"He… called in an extraction."

"Who did he contact? Who sent you?"

"St Regis." The confession was small, whispered and trembling. Reddington sat for a long moment. It made sense. Tom had asked for a phone and wanted to contact the Major several times after the failed memory procedure. And why wouldn't he? His mind was trapped back in 2008. A time long before he'd left the organization. Long before he'd considered it an option.

"That's it. I swear," Sneider half sobbed and Reddington turned his nose up.

"You're going to put me in touch with the person that gave you the order to come for him."

He held the other man's gaze for a long moment before he received a slow nod of confirmation.

                                                      --------

He was going stir crazy. After being drugged into a stupor and held hostage only to break out and make his way back, Hank had all but locked him in the medical ward and demanded bed rest. Jacob had complied, grumbling the whole way, and he certainly would never admit to feeling better for it. The pain had lessened, his strength was coming back in spurts, and even the knife wound in his side that he'd managed to reopen in his escape was finally starting to show real signs of healing. It was slow going - much slower than he was accustomed to - but Hank had reminded him that the body at thirty-three didn't bounce back quite as quickly as one did at twenty-three. Even if he didn't remember getting to those limits, he'd have to respect them if he was going to make a full recovery.

They still didn't know why he was missing time. Hank had put him through a gauntlet of tests and no head trauma was evident. The stab wounds and gunshot to the shoulder seemed to be the worst of it, but hardly explained anything. What was worse, Hank seemed hesitant to give him any details about what he was missing. Jobs taken, injuries dealt out. Jacob has scars from injuries he couldn't remember, and each time he tried to ask the old surgeon about it Hank sidestepped the answer.

That led him to where he was.

Bud's office door stood large and imposing. Operatives didn't just invite themselves over to it, or at least normal operatives. Jacob has never been normal and he'd never been good at waiting for answers. He wrapped his knuckles against the door hard.

There was a stretch of silence before shuffling and finally the door was opened by an irritated Gina from the other side. She stared at him, surprised, and Jacob was pretty sure he had at least one answer. "He's dead, isn't he?"

"What are you doing here? Rogers said you should—"

"Rest. Yeah. Been doing alot of that. You gonna let me in or leave me hanging in the hallway?"

Gina's lips twitched down but she stepped back, clearing the way for him to enter. The room was different. Same desk - damn thing was so large that it might have been more trouble than it was worth to move - but other than that there was nothing left of Bud. From the books to the type of liquor set up on the shelf. He'd been gone a while.

"How long?"

She knew what he was asking. "Best anyone can guess, a couple years."

"How?"

Gina shrugged, turning back to her desk and the files that were piled there. "We don't know. The body has never been found. I went with him for an op he wanted to oversee himself, but he never showed at the rendezvous. There was nothing after that."

"Bud wouldn't have gone down without a fight."

"One he must have lost. It was bound to happen. He had several close calls towards the end. Reddington, the Germans…" She was watching him now, almost like she expected it to jog a memory. Jacob has nothing and she turned back to her paperwork. "Bastard left me to clean everything up."

"Why didn't I help?"

"You do. You will. You've always belonged in the field."

"So do you."

"I've done alright here." She paused, that honey brown gaze sweeping him up and down. "Sit."

"That obvious?" Jacob chuckled, sliding into one of the plusher seats in the room. The walk over to her office had tired him out more than he cared to admit. "I need some answers, Gina."

"I don't know what happened to your memories."

"But you know what job I was working. Maybe if I could retrace my steps I could—"

"Why?"

Jacob blinked hard. "Because I've lost ten years."

"And you may never get them back. Best we can hope for is to get you back to work - back to normal - and who knows? Maybe something will click back into place."

There was something in her tone, in the way she brushed it off. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Gina had always barreled ahead. She preferred it to looking back and it was one of the reasons they'd worked so well together for so many years, but it was all those years that he'd known her that made him think something was off.

She stood, drawing his attention, and he knew the look she was wearing. That little half smile and the way she held his gaze. She leaned down, hands on either armrest so that she pinned him into his spot in the chair, and she pressed her lips against his. Like her words, there was something strange about the kiss, but his need to feel something that was familiar won out and he reached up to pull her in deeper. He felt her smile into the kiss, settling down into his lap with one arm shaking behind him.

A loud, sharp ringtone shattered the moment and she let out a frustrated growl as she stood back to her feet. "I have to get that. There's an op in Hong Kong that we need to go well."

"You owe me some stories," Jacob said, his voice rough.

"As soon as I finish with this."

It was a dismissal if he had ever heard one, but as Jacob eased himself out of the chair and towards the door, he focused on the fact that he'd received at least one answer. The others would come… or they wouldn't. At least he'd made it home.

                                                      --------

The phone rang again and again, leaving Reddington to shoot his terrified hostage an exasperated look. If he'd been foolish enough to give him the wrong number, no one would be happy by the end of this.

Then it connected, but no one said a word. Well, she had learned her craft from Bill McCready, and the man had always been a fan of having more information than he gave away. Ah well. Reddington had found confidence often made up for what he lacked in concrete information.

"Gina. Raymond Reddington. I hear you found someone I'm looking for."

There was another bout of silence before a snort that might have been a laugh. "So that's where Sneider went."

"It is."

He could almost hear her lean back against some oversized desk and do everything she could to show a man that couldn't see her just how unruffled she really was. "What do you want?"

"A truce."

"I'm not at war with you."

"No, but your former employer was deeply in my debt. So often when a parent dies the children are saddled with all the promises that they couldn't fulfill."

"I'm doing just fine."

"So I hear. Old and new ops alike flourishing and intel coming in from all over the world, I'd imagine, but you and I both know that you will makethe operative of your choosing if I hire them."

"And in return you want Jacob?" she chuckled. "The highest earning operative that this organization has ever had… for what? One job? Anyone can see it's a bad business deal."

Red felt the small muscles in his cheek twitch with irritation. "You may try to make this about the money, Gina, but we are both well aware that it's not. It's the same reason that you took the fall for him in the Angel Station assassination, the same reason you hired him on when he came running to you after Bill put out a burn notice, and the same reason you put a bullet in McCready just a few weeks later: you can't let him go."

"He came back."

"Because he can't remember what he has here."

"And you think you can fix that? Give your pet fed her precious Tom Keen back?"

"I have the resources. The connections to give him a chance. If you truly care for him, Gina, you'll give me the chance to try."

There was a long, tense moment before: "He's made his choice."

And that was it. The line went dead and Reddington was left holding the phone, the truth oppressively heavy in the air around him. Tom was gone. Even with all of his resources, he needed Gina's help now that the younger man was hidden behind St Regis' wall of protection and she had made it clear that he wouldn't get that help.

"What are you going to tell Elizabeth when she wakes up?" Dembe asked softly from behind as Reddington snapped the flip phone shut with more force than was warranted.

"The truth," he breathed after a moment. "Her husband is dead."

                                                      --------

TBC

Notes: And so it's set. We're about to jump ahead to present day (aka, just after the S7 finale) in the next chapter and things are about to start ramping up. I hope you guys are still enjoying the story. Please feel free to drop a comment and let me know :D

Next Time: An op pits Jacob against an old enemy, but when a client will only take the best, Gina volunteers him for the job.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer Chapter 15: Hindsight

Tonight was the night Isaac died and my journey would truly begin. There was nothing I could do about it. 

The violence of the moment haunted my dreams: the screams, the blood, the uncontrollable urge to viciously attack those people until they stopped moving. My pulse raced with the memories. My head ached, wrestling with the idea that even with my father’s powers there was nothing I could do to change anything.

Confined to my floor, dancing was my only outlet. The hardwood of the hallway and the full length windows served as a nice place to stretch and do exercises. Counting out the rhythm forced my mind away from the coming carnage and instead on the point of my toes.

Snow swirled from the clouds, sending a blinding blanket over the city. From the highrise, visibility was near zero and the windows rattled against the blustery gales.

Previous Chapter

Go Back to the Beginning

My servitor guard drifted behind the glass like an aimless cloud , watching me, following my movements with its intense stare.  It lifted one tendril like limb against the glass, drawing it downward across my body.

“Ielia?”

She swirled out of my necklace, floating in mid-air, hair adrift on some intangible wind.

 “I want to know what happened to this person. Is there any way to talk to it?”

She nodded, smiling, and drifted past me into my bedroom. She instructed me to take a pen and follow her finger to draw on the wall of the room. With her help, I traced around a circle, added triangular shapes and swirling tick marks. In a few moments, I’d drawn some sort of pentagram style shape. My father's scale grew warm against my skin as I gazed at it. 

Like Isaac's medallion in the Cassell library, it reacted to the drawing on the wall.

Echoing voices and ghostly figures surrounded me. I saw a woman. I recognized her as the matriarch, years younger, walking in the hall, passing by the door. She was walking next to two other men. I followed her out and hear their voices.

“This research is my life’s work,” Said one of the men. He wore a fancy suit spangled with what looked like military medals. “With it, we’ll be able to make powerful hybrids capable of not only defeating the Dark King, but also becoming what we need to finally unite the world.”

“Ambitious.” said the other man, who looked a bit like Isaac but much older. “I’m honored you’ve decided to use our alchemical facility and invest in our company…”

The matriarch was equally enthused. “With this investment we’ll finally be able to meet our growth targets and beyond. But … I still would like to ask why you picked us?”

Before I could think about it further, I heard more voices behind me.  “An accident?”

I whirled, startled. It was her again, the matriarch. Her voice was on the verge of tears on the phone. “But how? I’ll be there right away.”

Her image dissipated into thin air. More voices reached my ears, this time coming from the bedroom.

Walking back in, I saw a vision of the older man who had been so honored to work with the guy with the medals. He was lying in the bed that I slept in, receiving IV treatments. “Are you sure this is going to work? He doesn’t seem to be getting any better,” said the Matriarch who was standing at his side.

I was plunged into darkness. A little girl’s voice was close to my ear. “Daddy?”

A tiny body lay on the floor, missing her head.  I heard the matriarch screaming, “Charlotte!  Charlotte!” Her voice rising and breaking in pain and terror.

Standing over her was my servitor guardian. The bed was covered in blood, the IV drip tipped over.

The gong of the grandfather clock broke the visions, setting my heart racing. The lights never came back on. I reached over to flip a switch but nothing happened. The power had gone out in truth.

As I stared out into the blizzard, a winged shadow grew larger and larger until the glass shattered and the shards mixed with the sparkling snow on the carpet.  A hulking beast with glowing red eyes and clawed hands at the end of long muscular arms let out a low threatening snarl. 

Before I could scream, my servitor guardian wrapped it in its own wraith-like body. Red blood flowed from the intruder’s neck down its shoulders and onto the carpet. The monster fell forward, its head missing from its body.

Breathless with terror, I ran from the room to get to the elevator. I skidded to a halt. The elevator door was open and a tall figure of a man dressed in a kimono stood in it. It was then that I found my voice.

As the screams tore from my throat, he ran toward me, his body distorted, stretching as he grew nearer, the flying folds of his large sleeves flaring out like wings. He was almost on me by the time I turned to run. The hall in front of me twisted into a spiral and I staggered into the wall as if drunk.

An arm grabbed me around my waist and jerked me toward the windows.  My paralyzed limbs didn’t respond to my efforts to fight. My voice had gone silent despite my efforts to continue calling for help.

He raised a sword and smashed it against the glass. He climbed atop the pane. My head was dangling in the cold and the wind, spinning twenty stories up. The snow was falling past me, down into the streets below.

The next moment, I was back inside. I hit the floor, my head bouncing off the hardwood so hard I saw stars. I dug the heels of my hands in, scrambling away, breathless. Behind me, the attacker and the servitor were locked in a furious wrestling. The faint moonlight illuminated his platinum blond hair and the half mask over his eyes.

He ran his sword through the heart of my guardian and it went limp, its smoky appearance starting to drift upward and lift like fog.

I whimpered when he turned his attention back to me, his eyes red and bright in the dark, his expression blank. He strode forward. 

I threw out my hands and felt his dragon’s blood, deep and powerful like an ocean tide. Far stronger than what was in the child I’d healed. Despite its strength, I called out my father’s words, “Release!”

That fire that burned at the young Tobias set the dragon in him ablaze and brought him to his knees, groaning in pain. I got to my feet and kicked his sword away, grabbing it myself. As I backed away, I was startled by a pair of golden eyes in the window.  I dropped the sword. The metal blade clattered to the floor.  “Johann?!”

It wasn’t Johann. The face in the window was my face. The gold eyes were my eyes. I was the one holding the sword.

A strong pulse went through my head. I turned to my attacker. The mask had fallen off and I could see his face was pale because it was covered in white makeup. He looked up at me, reaching out in a pleading gesture. “What… what have you done to me…?”

I dropped to my knees, beset by visions of two little boys dancing and playing together, one saying to the other. “Wait for me, Chisei!”

“Chisei? Chisei Gen?” Behind that vision was an intense loneliness. I felt the crushing weight of it.  "Where am I?" 

“In my dream, my memory…” I heard the man in the kimono’s voice but I couldn’t see him, only two boys, playing together in a grassy field.

“Chisei and I were together, as brothers. But while he became the heir to the Clan Chief, I was a Devil and cast out by my family.”

“Who are you? What do you want with me?” My eyes searched for where he was, but he wasn’t visible.

“I am Ruri Kazama. I … I don’t know how I got here. I think I was supposed to take you with me. That’s all I know.” He sounded confused.

The scenery of children morphed until I was in a dimly lit stone room. The only furniture was an old table, a chair, a bed, a few scattered toys. I can see him now walking over to one of the toys, a stuffed bear, looking down at it.

“This is the place where I grew up, alone. He never visited me in the secret mountain village.”

“Where the Devil children are locked away?” I retreat until my back was against the wall, searching for a way out.

“Yes…” He looked at me in surprise. “...how do you know this? Are you hearing my thoughts?” He flinched, arms wrapping about his abdomen, doubling over. “My powers… I’ve lost control of them. What did you do?”

I started to feel worried that I’d actually hurt him but I was afraid to approach in case he tried to attack me again.

Ruri Kazama's gaze unfocused, and he turned away, staggering to lean against the wall. “I’m seeing your memories… Chisei… he’s killing members of the Devil Clan? I don’t remember this…”

“It hasn’t happened yet… It happens soon… I want to save the children from him…”

We both awoke at the same time. Ruri Kazama was on the floor, one hand clutching his head, teething grinding together. He had broken out into a cold sweat. I slowly got to my feet and backed away. 

A pair of hands seized my shoulders from behind. I jerked to get away but they held fast.

“Ah, so this is why I was asked to come along on this mission… because you’re too fragile to capture a little girl.”

As soon as I wrestled myself free, I caught a blow to my jaw. My ears rang and my whole face went numb. Dizzy, I staggered to the floor.

“Honestly… no wonder I have a higher body count.”

I raised my eyes to a face that sent such a chill through me I cried out. It was the man from the park. The one who strangled me. My whole body started to tremble. This time, Chisei wasn’t here to save me. I would have gone back in time only to die in the past.

The sight of my wide-eyed terror made him smile. Gleeful, he tittered like a child.  “Ah… she looks like fun. Too bad this one is so valuable to Osho’s Blade that he would probably kill me if I left a mark on her.”

Two servitors were behind him, one was holding an unconscious Tobias, the other was dragging Lukas along by his arm.

The way he was leering at me was the same as before when he dragged me into the woods by my foot. “Come along, little one…” He bent over to take hold of me.

I pushed myself against the wall, cowering away from him.

He would have succeeded were it not for Ruri Kazama. He was back on his feet. His Speaking Spirit poured out of him again, and we were all plunged into a nightmare scenario. 

We were in an institution with dozens of other children. They screamed, struggled, and cried as they were injected with needles. A hand, larger than life, reached for me. I struggled to keep away from it, but I was powerless.

I stared up towards a window into a night sky filled with stars and the colorful lights of the Aurora Borealis. I’d seen those stars so many times, I knew them by heart because I focused on them while I was injected again… and again… and again...

These weren’t my memories, they were his. My attacker’s. 

“Kazamaaaaa!” He shrieked. “You Bastard! STOP! STOP IT!” Roaring with despair, he fled from me and down the hall. Kazama, faster than my eye could follow, retrieved his sword and cut down the two servitor beasts holding my friends captive.

“You need to get out of here.” He told me, “If you don’t leave now, you’ll never have another chance. Once Osho’s Blade gets you, you won’t be able to escape.” He stood in the dark, blood running in rivulets down his blade to form a puddle on the floor.

“I can’t go back to Cassell!” I cried with despair. 

“Then is there somewhere else?”

I looked into his crimson eyes. “Those memories you showed me. Is the place still there? Still like that?”

He gave me a puzzled look. “Yes…”

“Are there children there?” 

“Yes, the mountain village is… but you shouldn’t go there.” He shook his head. “It’s dangerous.”

I stood up. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.” I felt I was acting blindly, flailing into the dark, jumping off a bridge into surging waters, unsure if I could swim.

I ran to Lukas and Tobias and took their hands. There was nothing I could say to warn them that we were going to get them and the children trapped by the Devil Clan out of harm’s way. I didn’t have time to explain. Like a canary, faced with an open cage and an open window, I darted into the unknown.

I closed my eyes and focussed on Japan, on that room with the table and chairs.

Silence and cold descended in a black curtain. I counted out the seconds. One… two… three…

We reemerged, staggering into the room Ruri had shown me in vision. I panted like I'd just climbed flights of stairs. I looked at Lukas and Tobias. Tobias was awake and trembling with terror. Lukas looked disoriented. "There are more children here. But first I need to heal you, Lukas. If you use your dragon strength you might turn like Isaac did."

Lukas leaned his hand against the ground, staring at me with wide eyes, searching for answers. "I don't understand any of this."

"Your grandmother was planning on selling my eggs to some doctor but I guess kidnapping me was a cheaper option.” I paused, reaching up and placing my hands on his face. "This will hurt for a moment…." I opened my mouth to that draconic language.

Lukas flinched away as though hit by an electric shock.  He staggered back, staring at me, then he groaned and sank to the floor.

I looked at him with sympathy but I didn’t apologize. "The Cassell College will work with their Japan division tomorrow night to wipe out the Devil Clan.  We need to get the children trapped here healed and gone before they get here." 

“What did you do?”  He was visibly shaking and unable to stand. “This hurts…” 

“Your dragon’s blood is high purity like mine. You’re unstable like Isaac was. I used my Speaking Spirit on you, like I did on Tobias.” I moved to a window and peer outside. “This is where Japanese unstable children are held. If I don't free them, they’re going to die with the rest of the Devil Clan. Can you help me?”

“We’re in Japan? But how?! Why did you bring us here!” He stared at me in wide-eyed shock.

“You were getting kidnapped by bad people!” I can feel my breath rising with all of the unexpected questions that I couldn’t answer. “And these kids need my help! I don’t have time to explain!”

He got up, coming towards me, hands balled into fists. “Explain now!”

I take a step back away from him, my back was against the wall. “I can move through space. Through gates. I think the Nibelungen ones.” I stammered for an explanation but the truth was I didn’t know how and I wasn’t about to explain where I got my powers from.

“How!” He loomed over me and I found myself cowering again.

“I just can okay! Please, are you going to help me or…” I stood up straighter. “...or should I just leave you here!” At that moment, I knew I threatened him. I felt guilty, but I didn’t know what else to do.

He swallowed hard. We stood in silence for a few seconds before he finally gave in. “Alright.”

Shaking with nervous emotion, I sent Ielia to scout outside. The village was dark and looked empty but she returned looking panicked and gestured frantically. “Servitors?”

She nodded. 

"Are we gonna die?" Tobias whimpered, clinging to his brother.

"Stay in here." Lukas gave him a comforting hug.

"Can you hold those servitors off until I rescue them?" I asked.

“I can, I’ve been trained to be able to fight.” Admirably, Lukas went outside and blew a loud whistle through his fingers. The hulking reptilian giants turned and immediately pursued him.

He spoke in clear draconic, “Speaking Spirit: Blessing of Ice!”  and a large whirlwind bearing shards of ice blew into them, knocking them back, cutting and impaling them. It was an impressive sight.

I dashed as fast as I could into dark and dingy housing. My twin used the bright spear to knock down locked doors. I hurried to the rose of cages. There was no time to really explain to the youngsters what was going on, why this strange person was breaking them free, so they screamed and kicked and bit at me until I returned them into the room with Tobias.

The raging dragon blood in my body was changing me. My skin was itching. My eyesight was blurring.  I forced myself not to think about it. My nerves, my heart strained every time I used Release to halt the progression of the children’s instability. I detached myself from their pain and fear. I didn't want them to turn into monsters on the jump to another place. If I didn’t do this, they were going to die, sooner or later. That’s what I told myself. After about thirty minutes, I'd managed to collect about a dozen. 

Tobias was brave, trying to calm the growing crowd of terrified and crying youngsters. "Don't cry." He said. "Charlotte saved me. She'll save you too."

“Charlotte?” I asked, confused.

“Yes, that’s the name my Grandmother started calling you. Charlotte Ouroboros Comemnus…”

I wrinkled my nose. “What an ugly name. Charlotte’s… okay I guess.” I filed it away as yet another placeholder.

Lukas returned to me. "There's more servitors coming! We have got to go." 

Out of time, I turned to my dirty disheveled rescues. They were huddled together, staring at me, wide eyed with fear.

For a brief moment, I wanted to return with them to Cassell. But I was still there at that time, on a plane flight to Japan. They would wonder how I could be two places at once. I didn’t know how they would react if they found out I was the daughter of a dragon, of the enemy. I didn’t know how my father would react if I told them.

I knelt in front of the group. I was so tired. They cowered away from me clinging to one another.

"Alright everyone, we're going to be free. I'm taking you so you don't have to live in cages any more." I looked at them all in turn. "I know you're scared, so everyone hold hands. Lukas, make sure they're all holding tight to each other."

A few of them began to cry, a roar came terribly close.

I took a deep breath and focussed, closing my eyes, lowering my head. One by one, the stars I saw in the vision of the lab pinpointed their way into an inky black sky in my imagination. Things were suddenly clear in my head. I could see where I was going. Only it was far, so very far. 

The world turned dark and cold.

One… two… three…

A heaviness overcame me. I felt like I was sinking. This felt wrong. I grew more and more frightened as I lingered in that cold and frigid darkness.

I was losing grip on my thoughts. My focus on my destination was fading. I pulled hard with all the strength I had left, my mind reaching through the dark, to the pinpoint of light, the goal.

The sound of rushing wind filled my ears. Warm sea air hit my senses. I was laying in the grass. 

"Charlotte!" I heard Lukas say, fear in his voice.

He was scared, scared for me. My hands, they were claws! My skin had turned scaly. I was still turning into a servitor? No, I couldn’t! Not now!

"Release!" I focussed the words on myself now. The fury of my dragon's body burst inside collapsing me. The head-on impact of the words against the full momentum of my blood rage sent me spinning with pain . It hurt so much I couldn't breathe or scream, or think.

I choked, letting out strangled gasps from air. I wanted to pass out. I wanted to die.

My vision dimmed. With my strength leaving, I squeezed a voice out of my dry throat. "Did we make it?"

His answer sounded far away as I sank under waves of pain. "We made it."

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