#ive met 3 systems irl

[endersdead]

folks/systems with DID/OSDD i have a question!!

sorry if my terminology/wording isnt correct, im trying to be as inclusive as possible!

endos please dni! this question is specifically for folks with DID/OSDD!

[butchsky]

>:).. elaborations below.. /paws

starborne jason firstly (also feel free to steal it i love spreading my silly autism propoganda):

he is, by FAR, the oldest of the tc group. chronologically, anyways. yellow supergiants range from a few thousand to *millions* of years old, and jason is on the lower end of that spectrum (so, think, like, 200,000). starborne age *much* slower than humans / earth hybrids do, though, so he looks and acts much closer to, like.. seventeen or eighteen. (he's also the shortest of the group.)

being a star, and a yellow supergiant specifically, he runs *hot.* like, badly so. like, people can't touch him for more than a few seconds without it hurting. they joke that you could probably fry an egg on him.

he also has, like, ZERO immune system, being from space and all. he gets sick really often, and while it doesn't always stick due to his body heat, sometimes it leads to some STRONG ass bacteria. fucker's like a petri dish. also, he uses a nasal cannula and an air filtration thing! tying into his health issues, he canNOT breath straight overworld air. (interestingly, though, he seems to have much less trouble breathing in the end.) it looks pretty normal, and he keeps the tank / filter in a portable bag.

seto:

this is also a lot of cultural infodump because ive spent years working on end hybrid lore. seto was a studying / practicing mage, working under royal alchemists. he wasn't a full-fledged mage *quite* yet, but he was well on his way.

he also has a natural penchant for being curious, and it gets him into a lot of trouble sometimes. this is how he ended up living in the overworld; he was sent off to gather materials for a spell, and got distracted and wandered off. he ended up getting caught in a rainstorm and losing the end portal, so he kind of just got stranded. he didn't speak ANY english at first, it took him a while to actually learn.

enderian and english are very, VERY different languages, and the overworld / english has a lot of things that seto had never even seen, much less enderian having words for them. there's a page in an old journal of his where he wrote down learning about the concept of the sun and the word for it, for example. his journals slowly transitioned from being in enderian to being in english, now he mostly just writes in enderian if its something personal or private.

he still busies himself as a mage now, but still not official and largely just doing whatever the hell he wants. very interested in culture, hybrids, etc, and has absolutely zero tact asking questions about it. (he had a field day with mitch.)

also, seto originally faced a *lot* of issues being in the overworld, due to many humans / overworlders (or "brightlanders") being suspicious or distrustful of enderians. he still kind of does sometimes, although being close with tc (and sky especially) has made people, uh. much less likely to voice those kinds of things. his name also isn't technically SETO. his name is ⏁☍⊬, pronounced like "(t)ss-ah-yo" (the s is a hissing sound), but people kept switching the sounds around and caling him seto so he just kinda went with it. (he doesn't mind it now, he's come to like it.)

also, enderian has three different words for animals of varying classifications; one for beasts, which are wild animals, and then ones for domesticated animals (i.e livestock) and pets. when seto first met jerome, he accidentally called jerome all three of these on varying occasions because enderian didn't have words / concepts for the kind of hybrid jerome is, so he just kind of saw him and went "oh! animal". jerome will not let him live it down now.

lavender axolotl mudkip is brought to you by the fact that blue axolotls don't actually exist irl, and one of the closest you can get is lavender. >:3

also wrt tags, bjd mitch is one of my favourite things ever. EVER. at first glance, he looks human! he does! until you look closer and you realize his skin looks like plastic and his eyes move oddly, and he doesn't make facial expressions, and his mouth doesn't *move* when he speaks-- yeah, he scared the FUCK out of the tc crew when they met. he knows he's a doll, but he doesn't know *why.* he doesn't have memories of "his" childhod, but his creator (dad) explained it away as amnesia from head trauma. (in actuality, the head trauma is what killed his real son, and it was just something he said to continue the fantasy.)

mitch, by creation, is meant to be around 21 years old. if we're going off the time he was *created,* so chronologically, then he would be five. (this makes him the "youngest" member, in the same way that starborne shit makes jason the oldest.) he lived in a cabin out in the woods with his 'dad', going on with life "as usual" after what he believed to be amnesia. there were no mirrors in the house, so mitch couldn't see himself, and see the things that made him, clearly, not human (and not the "real" one).

things got on great for that time, it only got "bad" after his 'dad' passed away. mitch himself was fine, physically; he didn't need to eat, or sleep, or anything of the sort. mentally, not so much, and the house itself fell into *horrible* disrepair. he knew *how* to fix things, but he just physically can't move his hands to have actually *fixed* them without his dad. at this time, he also fully believed that his dad was just.. out. jerome comes across the cabin about a year afterwards. he thinks its abandoned, so he goes to check it out and potentially loot it, but he runs into mitch while he's searching one of the bedrooms. (of course jerome gets the shit scared out of him, but they get past it.)

they end up becoming friends, and jerome visits him almost every day. he tries to broach the idea of mitch leaving, but he's insistent that he's "waiting for dad". it's not until jerome finds his dad's journal in a drawer that he figures out what's going on, and that mitch's 'dad' absolutely is *not* coming back.

(jerome convinces him eventually, saying that his dad wouldn't want him to be all alone with the house like this and no help, so "come with me, and we'll leave a note and i'll bring you back once he's home!")

of course, mitch knows by now that his dad's dead. he knows he's a doll, but he still doesn't know what happened to the "real" mitch. jerome refuses to *ever* tell him; he doesn't see a reason to do something like that to him. if mitch finds out on his own, sure, but jerome refuses to say it himself or let anyone else say it.

this got long as fuck so i can send solace lore in another ask if u want :heart:

i wanted to wait to reply to this when i wasnt so exhausted (ive been soo busy and low energy recently) but WOW. i am invested in all of this!! the planning and writing and world building- oh i am in love with it.

i have no other notes, honestly. (in my honest opinion, mitch and seto really are my favorites out of everything you've told me so far. wow! little doll mitch, im imagining it and am just.. obsessed. so so obsessed)

the world building for the end- ohh i love that. curious little seto. oughhh. ougghhh. puts my head in my hands. hunches over. grunts and groans.

but please feel free to share more, whenever you are willing! my ask box is always, always open. you do not need to ask to share anything with me, hehe

[acinongalli]

serious talk for once. I need some advice. Ive been dating a trans girl for about a year now. I met her right about when she became trans, before dysphoria set in. She was fine for a couple months before her dysphoria developed. She went from a very happy, energetic person to depressed, paranoid, and self-hateful. The last 8 months I've tried to help her start transitioning (one thing to note is we are long distance. I'm American, she's Finnish) by looking up the laws of her country, how their systems work, etc. We tried Gendergp, but her parents found out and made her stop contacting the company. Her parents want her to go through the governmental program (which is a fucking shitshow on fire) and she tried once and got denied because she hadn't been openly trans for 2 or 3 years. She tried ordering stuff to DIY transition from a supplier I knew from a trans friend of mine. Once again, parents found out after she had just started transition for a couple days.

Those two days were the happiest she's ever been, but after she went back to depression and believing that she's ruining my life. It hurts me to see her like this, having her tell me that she doesnt deserve me. Her parents want her to wait a year to reapply to the government program, but even if she gets accepted, its another 2-4 years until she might get to transition.

While I don't like her parents, they do at least support her, in a way. She's trying to move out, but her dysphoria seeps into her entire life, where she doesnt have many irl friends, doesnt usually have the energy to go and try to apply for work, and she barely gets by with her university studies.

I love her, and I want her to be happy again, but my limited experience as a non-trans (cis?) person who has only helped other trans people in my life, isnt going to be enough for her. She's said she has no suicidal thoughts, but also has said I'm her reason to live, so I get really stressed because I dont know what to do anymore. She's hyperfixated on her body being the only way to be happy, which I understand as a big step, but she wont take the small steps like dressing feminine, try doing traditionally feminine things, etc. to at least potentially give her a little boost.

Out of everywhere, I guessed Tumblr was the best chance at getting some advice or help. I dont know how to move forward, but I need to, for her.

(she doesnt have tumblr, and I hope she doesnt see this, because she'll blame herself again)

[nightwatch-ithaqua]

yeah, i figured as much, wasnt expecting anything else. works better for me if anything, i dont really like making new friends under any circumstances, so i wasnt planning on that to begin with. im not expecting you to trust me in any way either, im a stranger on the internet lol..

i hold a lot of pride in myself in many different ways, which sometimes is nice i guess because it makes me take a strong interest in people with shared sources because, again, lots of pride in myself and my source.. it can be a problem a lot when i feel like my identity is being threatened, which is why i tend to not like insys doubles. feels like our brain is trying to copypaste me even if theyre completely different in every way XP..

ive only met one other ithaqua (well.. i guess 2 now, if this counts..? or 3, if our friend being an ocassional irl also counts.) and its.. also a morningstar, funnily enough. were pretty similar, because it split off of me, but still plenty different, at least according to the two of us. although we do prefer to stick together, i think the only time weve been separate was when i left front but someone had to stay to watch andrew, and helel was the only other person around. i could talk about the two of us for a while honestly, but ill leave that for another ask since i prefer to not let these get too long and i have something else to talk about here.

one thing i recall is that the first time i saw your blog in tags, you mentioned you dont have pigtails, which i think is neat because i do! and i actually find it really hard to find any art or general representations of me with them.. so are we just having the opposite problem lol..? id love to switch if thats the case /j .. but seriously i find this in particular a bit interesting. i never even knew my brother existed before the whole.. (gestures vaguely) Situation, but he didnt have his hair up in any way, and so i often see mine as another way to keep us separate.. and our hair is slightly different colours, but i think its really hard to tell a lot of the time, so i like having the difference between us since without my hair being put up like that we look almost exactly the same. more than we already do.

🪷

The identity thing feels extremely real tbh. There are too many doubles of me in the system and I feel lost in the crowd, like I don't get to just be me sometimes. At least none of them are after my dear Alva though. They're all very different from me it's so odd.

And yes, ironically, it feels like all the art I see of myself people are drawing their version with pigtails.

After awhile I've come to just let it slide. It took awhile just getting used to being here and accepting that things were going to be this way tbh.

I am less and less ashamed of my system as time goes on and I'm not afraid to share anymore I think that we actually have two NW fictives that were raised together and it was their biological father that attacked and that's a whole story they could talk about because it was a traumatic moment for them too but the story went very different and yet not to dissimilar from canon.

I just think it's incredible how we can have so many similarities and differences all at the same time.

[writtengalaxies]

hmmm gotta think for a second.

i have a few Qs to pass the time i guess? heres some stuff ive asked my friends to get to know random things about them lmao. feel free to skip the more weird ones, but yes these are real things we've asked each other

also! feel free to ask me any questions too. i havent got anything better to do (<- thats a lie) and i would love to get interrogated this fine friday evening <3

▪︎got any OCs? if yes, can we hear a little about them?

▪︎ favourite punctuation sign?

▪︎ most preffered emoticon? (NOT emoji)

▪︎ if you were a pen ink colour, which would you be?

▪︎ favourite planet in the solar system?

▪︎ have any collections? (dolls, rocks, books, etc)

▪︎ how do you dream? (1st person, from a screen in your mind, 3rd person, etc etc)

▪︎ can you wake up on command?

▪︎ how do you think/can you hear your own thoughts?

▪︎ if given the possibility, would you like to live in a different universe without a way back? (an oc world, a tv show, book, etc)

▪︎ favourite video game song from its soundtrack?

▪︎ have you ever met online friends irl? if not, would you like to?

thats it for now. maybe. <3

OH LET'S ROCK HECK YEAH.

I have...so many OCs. So...so many. That's like, a separate post of it's own. Between self-inserts, characters I write, characters I LARP, D&D characters, other tabletop RPG characters...it's absurd numbers. XD

>:3 is pretty much one I use constantly. ╰(*°▽°*)╯is my favorite kaomoji!

Orange. XD It's my favorite color!

It's gotta be a shout-out to those dwarf planets! Haumea is a dwarf planet near Neptune that's an ellipsoid shape and has rings! And two moons of it's own!

I collect rubber ducks! Specifically the cheap ones from crane machines.

I...am weird and I don't usually dream? I'm pretty sure it's related to having aphantasia, but on the rare occasions I do dream...it changes on what perspective I have. I actually can read in my dreams, and it's all clear words and numbers to me, not shifting symbols like a lot of people have.

Waking up on command...If I tell myself when I fall asleep I have to be up before a certain time...or if I set an alarm...I will be up before then. Otherwise...nope!

Another one that I don't know how to explain. I don't have a voice or words or images, but I don't know how to put it into words about what happens.

When I was younger, I would have said yes. At this point in my life? Honestly, I'm really happy with where I am and I'd be heartbroken to lose everything that's here.

I...don't usually listen to video game soundtracks and I usually turn the music off in games, unless it's an audio cue. >.< If I had to chose, I'd say "We Shall Sail Together" or "Becalmed" from Sea of Thieves, or any of the Boss Fight music from Valheim.

I have! I actually had a whole bunch of them over my house earlier this summer, as well as one of my internet friends actually moving to the area and ended up with one of my real life friends because they hit it off!

[residentevildash-moved]

🍁🍐 :3!

hello kierannnn ^-^

🍁 Do you know any other systems IRL? If not, do you have any close system friends on the Internet? not irl to my knowledge - a friend of an acquaintance is, apparently, but ive never met them bc they moved towns - online though yeah ^-^ i wont say anyone specific here (besides obvs you my friend) out of discretion jic but i have a handful of system friends/muts who are awesome love them/love you guys

🍐 What was your first introduction to the OSDDID community that you can remember? EDIT: DISCRETION edit 2: an ex partner edit 3: discretion

[juni-ravenhall]

personal bad feelings dont read if sensitive

im doing really badly lately

i keep waiting for the new counsellor to call me (its been a month since she said she would call next week aka 3 weeks ago, and yes i have messaged the clinic and they said they would tell the counsellor, then nothing)

i feel like shit in my body (i have body dysmorphic disorder since i can remember and just hate my body and face immensely for being fat and ugly and dont want to live in this body and aside from that my body is also sick from being fat and unhealthy which makes me even less want to be in this body but i have zero energy to take care of it) (all my energy goes to not killing myself every day aka all my energy goes to try to cope with my mental illness and hopelessness about ever being able to live life) 

i feel really extremely sad and upset about everything about living this awful life and having no possibilities and chances due to my mental illness due to being abused for my whole life and nobody helping me and even when ive been trying to get professional help for YEARS i still havent gotten help and they keep lying and changing their mind instead of helping me and i wonder how many people just like me, kill themselves because of this healthcare system being their last chance to survive and then it doesnt help 

i cant trust anyone of my “”””””family””””””” or “”””””relatives”””””””””” (i renounce all of them they are not mine) and i dont have any other friends than my gf (who is in israel and we’ve never met irl but we voicecall every day and video call etc) and you guys on ssoblr and i cant trust any doctors or counsellors because they keep not helping or victimblaming me or just leaving me hanging as if i will be fine on my own when i tell them over and over that im suicidal and that ive been trying to get help for years because i dont know how much longer i can go on

im physically sick but im too scared to go to the doctor about anything whatsoever until im vaccinated because people are FUCKING USELESS DISGUSTING WORMS FOR NOT BEING CAREFUL ABOUT CORONA aka not isolating and not wearing masks and not social distancing and therefore im TERRIFIED of going to clinics and hospitals until im vaccinated so i just have to handle no matter how sick i am (while hoping to not die from it) until i can get vaccinated (the reason im esp scared of corona is bc im fat = higher risk of severe symptoms and death)

(“why are you scared of dying if youre suicidal” because i try to not kill myself every day and im terrified of killing myself i just cant handle being alive and i dont know how much longer i can handle it, also if i was sick with corona and needed to be hospitalised (again due to being fat etc higher risk) there is no saying whether i would just feel that this is too much and i will just give up, and if you think “why are you scared of dying if youre suicidal” in general youre uneducated so shut up)

i feel extremely sad and extremely bad and im sick and im scared and im really struggling to handle being alive right now and ive tried to get professional help for years but they dont help me, and i cant go to the emergency or anything when i feel extra bad because of corona (because of people being useless worms who refuse to take precautions) 

i really dont want to be awake beacuse every moment being awake i have to handle being alive when i feel like i cant, but when i sleep i always always always have nightmares for my whole life and either way i cant sleep when im not sleepy so it doesnt matter even if i chose the nightmares i dont have the ability to choose to sleep more than i already do

i keep thinking about starving myself (ive had eating disorders for large parts of my life) because of the dysmorphic disorder and suicidal feelings and every day i just think about staying in bed and not eating anything and just wilting away and at least i would be skinnier before i die

i tried to cook healthy food (which i did for years before) and i got so tired from cooking for 1 hour that i didnt have energy to eat anything when i was done cooking and just gave up and left everything on the stove and went back to lay down

i dont have any energy and no motivation and everything feels hopeless and i feel extremely sad and alone aside from my gf but she is far away and its a long time until we can be together

[hoofbeast]

warning! dream daddy spoilers for damien’s route

first of all, i just want to say that i fucking love this game holy shit. i work full time so i only get enough time to play one route per day, so ill eventually get through all the dads, but i started off with damien. this post is going to be a whole shitload of screencaps and spoilers, so ill put everything under a cut

the theme song is so great XD i actually paused my pandora at work so i could listen to the song a couple times

i wanted to play my first run through of this game as close to me as i could manage. i took extra care to design my character to look like me. i had my husband help and he still cant get over how much this character looks like me. my first choice for hair color was white (like most of my hair is now) but we decided to go with red because no matter what i do to my hair i inevitably circle back to red. i gave him my signature sly smirk and i used my actual name, too :3

right away, this game has me pegged. this is exactly something i would do XD

she’s a real chip off the ol’ block. FUCK THE SYSTEM! *wipes tear*

we ran into brian and daisy in the park, and honestly, brian will probably be one of the last dads i pursue the ending for. few things piss me off more than one-upmanship. im sure theres a lot more to his character and route, but still. 

also, question: is it possible that daisy is on the autism spectrum? theres a lot more to see of her, but what ive seen so far is that she’s exceedingly intelligent, doesnt get along well with kids her age but seems fine around older persons, didnt understand the concept of playing pretend until amanda explained it. i remember being pretty much exactly like that when i was a kid, and ive been thinking of getting evaluated for a while, myself.

the pokemon battle dad brag-off was a nice touch XD is it possible to win? cuz brian kicked my ass like it was his job

seriously, wow. is this game somehow able to evaluate the choices ive made so far and build a personality profile for me or is social awkwardness a way more universal experience than i thought?? because this is exactly #me

so anyway, i met a few more dads before calling it a day. 

i kinda dig mat, he’s as awkward and rambly as i am, and i am always cool with people who are passionate about music and puns and music puns. so far, he was the top contender for my first dad. 

then there’s robert, with his hot, smoldering gaze. hot and smoldering because i can already tell that inside, he’s a blazing tire fire.

i dont hate craig (forgot to get a cap of him, oops) but i do hate everything he stands for. namely, jogging, exercise, waking up before noon, and jogging. fuck an entire pile of that. i totally blew him off when he tried to get me to come to the gym and went back to sleep. like i said, im playing this as though Daddy Felix were the irl me and, honestly, craig would be lucky if he got a text of anything but misspelled swears and knife emojis from me if he woke me up at 6am

i will state right now that i do. not. trust joseph. he’s the only dad ive seen so far that actively flirts right from the beginning which is highly suspect behavior for a youth minister, and once i did the yard party and saw that he was still married, i trusted him even less. what kind of future could my character ever have with some cheatin ass bastard?? if i give you a bad dragon gift card will you back the fuck up off me, joseph >:/

#me

forgot to get a cap of damien in dead, goth, and beyond (i am totally calling it that from now on thats perf omg) 

anyway, i got through the yard party part. i kinda feel bad for craig cuz i stonewalled him pretty hard haha. but mat was there and i wanted to know what he was saying.

about this dadbook thing, tho: its grindr. like, its thinly-veiled grindr. there is exactly 0 reason why a nonsexual social media site should have turn-ons and ideal dates. this is definitely where dads go to hook up and fuck.

i read through the profiles and decided to message damien, literally because his says to send him a letter if i wanna talk about black cats and i VERY MUCH WANT TO TALK ABOUT CATS, YES. i didnt expect it to trigger a date, but this is the opposite of a problem. i figured id just have to court mat on my next playthrough

damiens house is fucking awesome 10/10 would have tea again

hoh! looks like i found your slashfic, damien >:3

wait. the narration said it was a worn leather bound book. did this fucking nerd seriously have his gay naruto fanfic bound in leather and then he keeps it in his swanky library?? i knew there was a reason i liked him XD

i think the first time i saw this reaction was from brian at the park and i was looking at the text so i didn’t see what it actually was. this time i was paying attention and its fucking eggplant and droplet emojis and im fuCKING WHEEZING FUCK XDDDD i know damn well what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway ya boi felix fucking crushed it whoop whoop! i learned to date from the master (the dating master is of course papyrus)

i have actually never played a dating sim before so it never occurred to me that i could go on dates with multiple dads without fucking up my game. i thought i was locked in to damien’s route, which, again, was the opposite of a problem, full speed ahead ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

so damien wrote me a for real letter! what a classy gent. <3 i am always a slut for handwritten letters

so obviously i write him a letter back, and i try to pick the options that are classy and rule out the ones that are trashy or over the top. i remember being a goth teen (and a goth adult ahaha) and how much i hated being condescended to. i want to play along with damien’s shtick, not make fun of him

completely forgot to take any caps of the actual date, but damien is afraid of horror movies and that’s even more adorable than mcree being afraid of horses. also, the running gag of cliche horror movie shit happening when damien shows up (his door creaking open and then slamming closed, spontaneous cracks of thunder) is terrific. my favorite part of vampire chronicles II: evil never dies is during the twist ending where one of the characters fucking looks into the camera and says the full title of the next movie in the series (vampire chronicles III: evil must die again) like its an actual statement a person would say in conversation. that shit had me cracking up

third date i was cockblocked before i could kiss damien by his phone ringing, then we ended up here and omg if this is a blood donation clinic im gonna shit

i see pet carriers. this is a vet’s clinic or smth

*sharp gasp* he’s... a NERD!! not that i didnt know that already by the way he has smutty fanfic in his library lmao

who would i even be trying to kid, of course i am

me: *softly, choking back genuine tears* gaaaaaaaay....

fucking SWOOOOON

(also he reminds me of equius when his hair is tied back like this and just HNNNG!! this was the BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME)

sorry heteros, mothmans gay and we’re dating

piss off joseph im clearly with damien i know you want your slutty altarboy holes filled but find somebody else to do it fucks sake begone, thot

screeeeee<3<3<3<3<3

THE END!

not sure if ill post about other dads and their routes. probably not like this lol. im no good at this whole commentary thing. maybe ill collect up some highlights and post them or something.

anyway, im going to go through each of the dads while making decisions i would personally make, where possible. once im done with that ill go back and savescum until ive tried out each option so i can try for all the bad endings. my brother’s girlfriend told me theres a secret ending for joseph but i told her not to spoil it for me (maybe a polyamorous relationship with him and mary?? that would be awesome mary is cool), and i saw in the achievements that you can fuck robert on the first night. otherwise im actively trying to go through this blind and im having a blast so far. this is a very fun game